The Hope Hotline - The Hope Hotline | S01-E67 | 09-06-23

Episode Date: September 9, 2023

Question #1I have a friend that I shared something verypersonal with and later I found out that theyshared the secret with someone. I am so angryand mad at this person but I haven’t gotten thenerve to confront them. I am not aconfrontational person at all. I would rather justdrop them as a friend but I am afraid I won’t beable to forgive them if I don’t say anything tothem. Can I just walk away without sayinganything to them?Question #2I would love to have a friend group like youhave. Not all of your friends fit a stereotype buteverybody loves each other and you have somuch fun from the outside looking in. I havefriends and I enjoy them but we don’t laugh orhave fun like you do with the people you hangout with. How do I make that happen? I wantthat!Question #3We were recently told by catholic friends thatthey believe that Mary the mother of Jesus didnot die but was “assumed” and taken to heaen. Ihave never heard this.Question #4What types of Bible study do you recommendfor new Christians?

Real Talk Real Talk Real Talk Real Talk Hello everybody. How you doing? I'm good. I got a crew with me today. Just show everybody. Look over there. You can't even see the little bit. There's there's Brinley's little face. I got a crew. We were just yakking it up. I caught myself off guard because I didn't even pour water in my cup. Oh, that ain't enough. But it's it's been fun this morning. Well, let's say this morning. It's been a full day so far. Full day. I was just saying, I love my hair. It's beautiful.

I am so happy. It's beautiful. Kudos to Jolene. Yep. I love my hair. She did it again. She did it again. That's pretty easy.

Like, this is like. Yeah. Listen, do you know how complicated it is to color somebody's hair and get the color correct? I do. Only because. Oh, you do sun. No. no like that doesn't count that's true you spray your head you take your top off of the not your physical top off you take your top off of the jeep that's true that's true she's telling it would be everywhere listen you take the top off of the jeep you let your hair get exposed to

the sun and that's not that's not like hair get exposed to the sun. And that's not complicated. Do you understand the science behind? And I'm not talking Fauci science. I'm talking the actual factual science behind coloring somebody's hair and getting it right. I have a reason. Every friend that goes and gets their hair done never is fully happy with their hair. I am. Okay.

You're my one friend that was very happy with her hair. I'm literally, except for the last time, but that, again, I say this every time. It was never Jolene's fault. I know. No, I know. Because it's, but it's complicated. Well, it was actually the right colors pretty much every flipping time. My hair is, I'm a natural blonde.

So as soon as the sun gets hit by it, like it totally, and she gives me like, not gives me, people don't expect things for free from her. She doesn't give me anything. She gets me the right shampoo and stuff. That helps. Well, it does, but it's only gonna like, it can only help so much. Your hair is your hair. Yeah.

Your hair is your hair. You be you, man. your you be you man you be you i am i know you but i look at my i just saw my hair when i was looking at my cup when we first i was like and i was telling you guys i'm like i love it now yeah i think we got some plans we got we're gonna do a couple things with it, but I like it. So let's move to, oh, was that loud for people? No, because we're not on the counter. So if we do it, yes. But you're good. Okay, put that thing up there for me because I love you. I love you.

She is making sure that my numbers increase, but also I don't forget. Okay, we hate Facebook, but we're going to use them. We're going to ride that pony all the way until we can't. So Rumble, Facebook, YouTube. That's all those symbols up there, right? Yeah. Yeah. We have Facebook, Rumble's in the middle, and then YouTube.

And then we have Black Robe, of course, as well. But that's more just if you don't do social media. That's what we're liking and sharing. Yeah. But if you don't do social media, like you can always hop on there. But these are ones that you can get out there, like we're trying to do. Get out there. You can copy the link, the Blackrobe link in your Facebook and share it that way. It's like a replay if you want to. But you'd still have to

post it on social media. Please, please, please like and share. Yes. And apparently commenting is huge as well. Please. Yes. We love that. That's the goal. And apparently commenting is huge as well. Please. Yes. We love that. That's the goal. And subscribe. And subscribe. Hit that subscribe button. We hate YouTube too.

Rumble's really the key. We love Rumble. We love Rumble because Rumble loves us. Yes. The other ones are like communist. And we're like, again, we're riding that pony as long as we possibly can. And then eventually they'll ditch us probably because they don't like what we stand for until then.

We're going to use an abuse like, like there's no tomorrow. Yes. Grow our audience. Yes. Get them over to rumble. Yeah. Okay.

Um, do I have anything else? Like we have, uh, we have no announcements i know i had to like look for some fun things but yeah it's been no no no that's okay girl yeah yeah that's all right we got good questions today what we got some good questions what do you mean we have new questions we've got some good questions oh we have good questions yes we do yeah yes we do and actually one question you sent me last night.

Yes. I've got, is that not freaking wild how that question goes with this, the first question? It's like almost the same. Like, come on. It's pretty wild. So I'm going to do, listen, I got a question last night that goes along with the first question. So I'm going to do both of them. I'll read them both together.

Well, now. I never thought about this. Okay. I'm going to read. I'll do the first one, answer that. Then I'll read the second one because it basically goes with that one and then respond slightly. It's more specific. And then I'll give you second one because it basically goes with that one and then responds slightly. It's more specific.

And then I'll give you my opinion on that too. Oh, nuts. Hold on one second before we move forward. I had to do one thing so you don't see me squinting. Two seconds. Two seconds, people. All right. two seconds two seconds people all right here we are first question I have a friend that I shared something very personal with and later I found out they shared the secret with someone else been there done that

I've actually been the one that shared the secret. Shame to say, but I guess not too ashamed. Brinley over in the corner just raised her hand. Brinley, one in the same. One in the same. I've actually been the one to share the secret because I told you guys I used to be a gossip. And then I've actually been on the receiving end because guess what? You reap and you sow. Like if you do it to somebody, guess what's coming back for you? The same thing. It ain't fun. So I later found out that they shared the secret with someone. I am so angry and mad at this person, but I haven't gotten the nerve to confront them. I am not a confrontational person at all.

I would rather just drop them as a friend, but I'm afraid that I won't be able to forgive them if I don't say anything to them. Can I just walk away without saying anything to them? Okay, so we're going to look at scripture with this because scripture will free you, okay? A lot of people don't realize that the Bible is just the greatest instructional book. If you live your life through what the Word of God says, you will walk in complete freedom. Where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom and liberty. And that's the word of God because Jesus is the word.

But I will tell you, been there, done that. I've betrayed and I've been betrayed. And it hurts to be the one that's betrayed. But I will tell you, it hurt being the one that did the betrayal because then you have to deal with the pain that you caused your friend. And if you are a true friend, then you do feel remorseful, and you do feel bad. Otherwise, then you're really not a true friend, and that's what we'll get to as far as determining some things as well as as far as how far you let this person go

in your life but I will tell you everybody everybody has had it happen to them I mean is there anybody in this room that has not experienced this everybody have you guys ever experienced this everybody's experienced it right yeah Have you been like me and actually done it too? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And there goes, of course. I love it. Hey, honesty.

Gotta love it. Everybody, like, especially when you're younger. And I don't know, like, the other question, I know the person, actually. They signed their name. So they're, like, a little younger than me. So, like, when you're young, you're stupid, right? And I wish I could say that I did this when I was in my teenage years, but I would say that I did it in my 20s.

Maybe when I was in my 30s. Maybe not. But I definitely did it when I was in my 20s. You're just idiots. When you're 20s, you're just, especially if you don't have God. But I will tell you, I did this with God too. So I was an idiot with him as well. But I was a gossip.

And if I would have lived like that, that would not be a good decision because eternally, that makes me insecure in my eternal destination. But forgiveness, my dear, is not an option. So you're going to have to forgive. Matthew 6, 14 through 15 says, For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Here's another.

Matthew 18, 15 through 17, which is dealing, it's called, the title is actually dealing with a sinning brother. Moreover, if your brother sins against you and sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. That means you don't bring a bunch of people with you. Initially, you start out with just you and them. And you say you're not a confrontational person, but this scripture does not give you an option. If you are offended and you cannot move past it, then you are to take this to your brother. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.

But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more that by the mouth of two or three witnesses, every word may be established. Now, when you bring two or three people, you don't bring your homies, where you're going to pound them, okay? That's not how that works. You bring people who are of rational thought, that can bring two minds together to calm the situation, not escalate it.

Like back in my day, I would have brought my girls with me and you would have seen the light and it would have been the way I wanted it to be. Or there might be hurt feelings and hurt other parts of you. I don't know. But that's not what we do. What we do is we bring people with sound minds and can look at a situation in an objective way so that it's like a, you know how when you walk into a situation, if the person, both parties feel very defensive, then you're going to get nowhere. If people are walking in and they feel like, okay, this is an open forum. This is something that we can discuss without

things going higher and higher and higher and escalating, then you're not going to get anywhere. But if it's an open forum and things are calm, cool, and collected, and you have objective people listening to the situation, oftentimes things can get rectified. Then it says, and if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector. And just so let me tell you, tax collectors were thought to be like the lowest of the low.

You didn't, I mean, they were like people who had no scruples, no ethics, nothing. So for biblically speaking, for it to be said like that, that meant that that person was like the scum of the earth. So I would say to you, you don't have a choice. You're going to have to forgive. And so much you forgive, you are forgiven. And all of us have a lot to be forgiven. I talk about this subject all the time. I've known lots of believers who harbor ill will towards someone else, our family members,

like they're not even speaking to family. Okay. They don't have any intentions of speaking to a family member. They like it the way it is. And that's just the way it's going to be. But the thing is, is that's not biblical. And if you want to be, if you have sins that need to be forgiven of, then you have to forgive. I cannot tell you how many times I've talked to Christians who's like, I didn't know I had to forgive somebody. Like, I don't want to forgive them. Not an option. I mean, it can keep you out of heaven. It's that serious. That's what the Bible says. So you have to forgive. There ain't a one of us that don't have something or lots of things to be forgiven of. Forgive. It's not, it's not, nothing is that

big of a deal. It really isn't. I mean, you can say, well, yeah, there is because I don't want to forgive the person that, like, I've known friends who've had friends that committed adultery with their spouse. So your friend betrayed you in the biggest way, right? They still have to forgive that spouse. It's not an option. You can say, well, that's the worst thing ever. I would say you're right. That is pretty dang bad. But you still got to forgive.

Somebody who murders somebody's child, you have to forgive the murderer. You have to. It's not an option. There's nothing that is worth your salvation. No one, no thing. I'm going to tell you, if you're going to stay offended, then you biblically need to handle it, whether you're a confrontational person or not. You don't have that option. You need to resolve that situation. Walk it out. For me, I'm going to be honest with you. I am a

confrontational person, but I don't like confrontation. I do it, but it's not like my, it's not, it's like my, one of my least favorite things to do. I don't like, my hands don't shake. My heart doesn't race. I don't really, I don't really care if I have to do it, but I don't want to do it. And even me, like I would rather, instead of confronting somebody who's done something against me, I just rather just be like, it's not, I'm not letting them rent space in my mind. I'm not going to even deal with it. It's not worth it.

Move on. If I see them, I will be friends with them. I will love on them. I will treat them as Jesus would expect me to. But as far as me being close with them, probably not going to happen because I don't want to relive that situation. Can people be restored and redeemed? 100%. That happens over time. That's the way it is.

But I would probably not confront somebody who's done me wrong. I may call them out on it and say, I know what you did. Listen, we're just going to call it a day here. I know what you did. It's all good. Whatever. There's nothing between us, but whatever. I just don't think anybody's worth holding and harboring anything against anybody plus I don't want to lose my anointing and so the more you like there is nobody I literally think of in my head on a regular basis that I feel like has done me wrong that I think about a conversation if I saw them I would say I don't have anybody that I think about like that. I don't have anybody that I sit there and go, man, they did me wrong.

I wonder what's going on. I don't feel like that about anybody. Nobody should ever, nobody ever. I always say, don't let somebody rent space in your mind. They're not worth it. It's not worthy of all of that. I'm not saying they're not worthy. I'm saying it's not worthy of all of that. I'm not saying they're not worthy. I'm saying it's not worthy of all of that.

So, but you have to forgive. So let me read you this. Let me read you this so I can answer this because this is a great example of what this person was talking about. It says, what are your thoughts about an old friend reaching out to me after five years? Here's the background. My friend and I worked together, and our families became close-ish. We hung out together sometimes. Then my wife and I went through a divorce, and during that time we were not living together. I caught my friend, in quotes, telling my wife things I told him in confidence, as she would spout things back I said only to him.

I suspected it for a while but tested him and his loyalty and he failed miserably in several occasions. They met on several occasions. Because of this I told him I'm cutting ties with him for a time. He went absolutely ballistic and made strong comments against me. We have not spoken since then and that was 2018. He texted me a week ago telling me it's been a few years and asked how I am doing. And then you say, hope I don't trust this guy as far as I can spit. He still lives close to my ex-wife and youngest daughter who also have not spoken to me since 2019. Not from a lack of trying on my part.

I feel like this is a fishing expedition to pass information back to my ex. My feelings is to just ignore him like I did when he verbally attacked me years ago. Am I justified in not responding to this guy? I don't think there is any benefit from taking the bait. We don't live close together geographically, and the ties have already been cut. Thoughts? Okay, I actually know who this person is, and they actually are, when I say this for the sake of everyone listening, they are strong believers.

They know the word of God. And I'm going to just, I'm just going to say it like this so that people that are listening, if you are not like this person, this person is divorced, has a happy life. This one child doesn't speak to him currently, but the other children, they have relationship with. Divorce is terrible because sometimes what happens with divorce is parents pit children against the other. And especially if one's a believer and the other one's not, or if both of them weren't believers, but then one becomes saved, it's a whole mess. It's a whole mess.

So I will say this to you. If it was me, and I know your situation, if it was me, I would not even reply to the person, but I would check myself. What I mean by that is this. I would make sure that I harbor no ill will towards this person. You've already confronted and been transparent about things. There was still dishonesty in it. There's nothing you can do about that. Now, whether or not this person's reaching out to you to say they were sorry for what happened, I don't know.

I probably would agree with you. being fully transparent and then coming, you know, trying to make amends and then being completely honest with you and saying, you know what, I did lie to you. I wasn't being, I was telling her, which he might be doing. I don't know. But I will say if it was me, I would just let things lie, you know. I wouldn't reply back. There's no real reason unless he could send another text and say, listen, this is the reason why, or, you know, send an email or whatever. This is the reason why I reached out to you.

You didn't respond, but this is what I wanted to tell you. If he ends up saying, I did lie, I did tell everything to your spouse, all these things, then maybe you can open the door. But for me, always check yourself. I am always doing self-examination of myself and making sure that my motives, because that's what God looks at, the motives and behind what I'm doing, why I say what I say, and my responses, conversations, things like that. Always check your motives as to the reason why. And ultimately, make sure that forgiveness is there. If forgiveness is there, you're okay.

You're not, you're not, it doesn't say you, the Bible doesn't say you have to be friends with everybody. The Bible doesn't say that you have to like everybody. It just says you have to love everybody. That's what it says. So as long as you can love him, you can look at this friend, honestly say in your heart, I do love them. I love them in Christ. I don't have any desire to be friends with them.

I don't really like him, but I do love him. And that's all that matters. And there is a difference between loving and liking. And there is a fine line between love and hate. I don't care what anybody says. And there is a very fine line between love and hate. And you'll know whether or not whatever side you rely on, if you, if you love that person and you would act in a biblical fashion if you saw that person you're okay otherwise let things lie because really nothing's going to come from it right like you're not going to blossom into a great friendship he may say just wanted to touch base say hey and make sure you're good you would say everything's great have a great life whatever

nothing's going to come of it if you have the conversation anyway. So that's why I say as long as you check yourself and you know you're okay, that's all that really matters. I'm moving on. Are we ready, ladies? Ready. Next question. I would love to have a friend group like you have.

Not all of your friends fit a stereotype, but everybody loves each other and you have so much fun from the outside looking in I have friends and I enjoy them but we don't laugh or have fun like you do with the people you hang out with how do I make that happen I want that well I will tell you not always in my life have I had a lot of friends there are seasons and times for everything put you guys out soft on because a lot of the girls in the room you can't see Heather because she's off to my my left your right and when I look over when I'm looking here which is opposite when I'm looking here I'm actually looking there and they're over

there okay even though it looks like I'm looking at the opposite. All right. So I would say I don't have any friends that fit a stereotypical look or like personality. I think every single one of my are ethnically very different are not my age some of them are my age some of them are younger some of them are older I don't have one I don't have like you there that they're right there is no stereotypical person that I like you know how like back back in the day we all made sure that our friends all looked a certain way and they all had to be the certain style and stuff like that I like you know how like back back in the day we all made sure that our friends all looked a certain way and they all had to be the certain style and stuff like that I wasn't like that in high school I was popular but I didn't have one style of friend like all my friends did if if like they wouldn't talk to some of the friends that I had because they weren't in this certain group, whatever. Who cares?

I don't have time for that. So I've never been, but I haven't always had lots of friends. I've gone through periods of time where I've had just maybe one close friend and then I would talk to other people, but I was only with one close friend. And then I've had periods where I had lots of friends. And even I would say right now I do have lots of people that I associate with but like I would tell you like the group over over here over there over there they hang out with each other all the time true I don't hang

out with them like they they you guys do stuff together all the time. I don't go. Like, I'm at home a lot. But when I'm with you guys, I have a great time. Like, I don't text people every day. I hardly text anybody. I have friends, but when I'm with people, I am laughing. You are absolutely right. But looks are deceiving, too. Sure.

Because what you perceive isn't always the way it is like my mom has all of her friends they laugh all the time they have a great time they're older women and they enjoy each other's company a lot of them are widowed and so they're living life to the fullest in the place that they're at right well you're a mom and you got small kids you're going crazy like you're running true okay there's not a lot of laughter there's a lot of spanking and like there's just seasons and times of things right yeah so not not things aren't always perceived as what they are but i will tell you i mean have you guys can you say that it's not always been

the same? Like you always don't have, like you've done, you've not always had the group that you have. Like if you look at, I wish Tracy could pull up her Tuesday Bible study. Like they, she just took a picture on, uh, on, um, this week, right? Yeah. Tracy and Vanessa. Vanessa is the little Hispanic girl on the end, the hottieie the Puerto Rican with the hoops my PR girl um like they have a Bible study and it's packed it wasn't always packed no but are you looking for it babes I got it I'm pulling I. So, but you guys laugh a lot. You have a great time together. But listen, that Bible study has some serious discussions that people don't agree with.

I mean, it's the way it is. That's life. But would you say even so, like even though you have this period of time in your life, would you say it's always been like that? It's not always been like that for me. I know Vanessa definitely not because Vanessa and Jeff have been in ministry before. It can be extremely lonely. People don't understand ministry can be very, very lonely.

They think it's totally opposite of what people think it is. It really is. Which, listen, it's bittersweet and it's more sweet than bitter but it can be very lonely right okay they can't hear you so girl absolutely and when you have small kids it's it's rougher when you have small okay you're gonna show show that show that i'm gonna show you their group hold on let me and nobody's the same you have older and younger women oh my gosh a lot of blondes i will say that i know that which is so weird because you got a lot of blondes but blondes know how to have fun that's that's the thing hold on let me just it's gonna be super i don't know oh you're trying to

fit it so would you but so we like lo it is. Look at this group. I think we had 21 people there yesterday. Yeah, it's a packed house. Wait, can we go back? Look at Andrea's face. You want to see how many blinds you have, don't you? Look at Andrea's face. Ready?

Watch it. Watch it. What did someone say? Tara, of course. It was Tara. Of course, Tara. You never know what that girl's going to say. So, Logan, have you always had a bigger set of friends like you have right now?

No. No. Yeah. No. No. That's the first time I've ever had girlfriends, too. Mostly just guys. Yeah, same here.

And I have a reason why. Tracy, what about you? I've always had groups of friends, but it's been different. In high school, I was on a basketball team, so we were always together. In college, I was on a basketball team, so it was always that. And then I got married and had babies, so then those people kind of came into my life, and I was in a different city. So I've always had larger groups of friends, but there's a few that are still in my life today but like everybody kind of just does their thing we're all on good terms it's just different

because life has a way of yeah going like this yeah i i literally had um a really like i don't really see her anymore for covid reasons, I would say. But I had a really great friend. And I still love this girl to no end. And some are like, there's two people in the room that don't know exactly who I'm talking about. But they had younger kids. And when their kids were younger, I mean, as they got older, sports got involved and stuff like that. So it kind of separates you from life because my kids were older. But I cherish that friendship.

I still fondly think of them. I still talk to the husband somewhat frequently. But, like, there will always be relationships that you just cherish and you love. But life will take you. Like, COVID has destroyed lots of relationships. In this case, even though COVID separated us more than anything else, they're amazing people. Just listen. They're a class act.

They are class act people. And I love them. I love, I miss that relationship, but life's like that. You're going to go ebb and flow, ebb and flow. And you have to be willing to do that. But I will say 100%, you're right. There is a lot of laughter. We do have a lot of fun. But the main reason is, is because every single one of us are chasing after God. That is the common denominator. And that is why there's so much joy and there's so much laughter and happiness. And when you are like that, when you are chasing after God, guess what is no longer

in the equation? You're not going to be catty. The common things that you would deal with, you're not gossiping. I wrote some down. You want the best for everybody. You want the best for your friends, and they want the best for you. That's the way it is. And you want to be the best for them, which is huge. But a big thing is, is I think when you're chasing after God, you're very secure within yourself, which means you can laugh at yourself. You don't take yourself too seriously. And that means like I have friends that are extroverts like me.

Just a wild scene. You just never know what's going to happen. Like Tara, we just were talking about Tara. Tara is an extrovert. She's from New York. You flipping don't even know what's coming out of that mouth. It won't be cussing or anything, but there's not a lot of filter. You are probably going to laugh.

Yeah, yeah. And it's going to be, oh, my computer. Stupid ADT. God blasted. It just knocked me out. So, but then I have some introvert friends. They're more quiet. They're not going to be like, and they're reserved.

And they're not going to be like me. But they fit into the group. And everything just meshes really really good so even though your friends aren't you don't laugh and joke around with this i would say like like we do and stuff it might be the place that you're at maybe you're a young mom and all of you guys are dealing with small children so there ain't a lot of i mean you're laughing at your kids like when they do something funny but there's a lot of discipline going on you have a you're in the middle of a conversation you have to mean, you're laughing at your kids, like, when they do something funny. But there's a lot of discipline going on. You're in the middle of a conversation.

You have to stop what you're doing because you've got to take care of something with your child. Eb and Flo. Eb and Flo. You have to be willing to do that. I would say, though, if your friends aren't, if the friends that you're hanging out with, if you're not like-minded with them, and if you're not, if you're a believer, they're not a believer, it's not going to be like what like what i got it never will be it's not possible because you're not connected by the same thing and the same thing the same love and the heart's desire is not the same if you find a

set of people that are chasing after god it is almost impossible that there is not going, the joy of the Lord is your strength, right? It is not going to be possible for you to experience the same thing. When you want all that God has for you, there is no stress, there's no tension, nothing. And I will tell you, when you're chasing after God, things are being eliminated out of your life and your friends' lives. Like how many of you guys, like high maintenance, I cannot stand high maintenance. Yeah. Okay. But when you are going after God, God is going to make you not be high maintenance. It's not possible. If you are a person that is like really like always like this high stress, like every response is like aggressive and not very nice. Critical, like very critical. Very critical. I don't mesh well with

people like that. They'll never mesh well with any room though. Right, right. Because nobody wants to be around that. No. Listen, you're talking about a person here that is very, I'm an aggressive personality, right? But there's a difference between being an aggressive personality and like being somebody who just is just ready, ready to pounce on every word you say. Every word is like, Oh, you can't like, you can't mess up with certain people. Like you say one thing and they immediately like find a way that you're wrong.

Those, but that's not what you do. You just have a very strong, I have a strong personality and opinion, but it's not to the point that you're like waiting for me to mess up, which those people I don't do well with. Yeah. Well, they'll never do well. And if your friend group is like that, ditch the friend. Yeah. Seriously. I know that sounds mean, but ditch the friend. The best thing that that friend can have happen to them is not to have the bad behavior enabled you cannot that does not help them at all to be like that um if they lost something that was a value to them they might change and and realize okay i want that person back and then if they change the ways redor and re-steam or red, restore and redeem them. That's a tongue twister.

That's good. But I will tell you, insecure people are usually like that. Yes. Insecure. Usually like that. Opposite direction. Insecure people are almost always like that. They are. And they're cancer to me.

I cannot stand hanging around people who are insecure. And you might say, well, that's not very nice. How do you help somebody come out of that? Being an example. I will be an example to you from afar. I'm not dealing with people who are insecure and like say and do things that make me uncomfortable in a room. I mean, I kid you not. Like insecure people literally in the middle of, you can be in the middle of a group of people.

They will say and do something so outrageous. And like you're like, holy crap, what do we do next? What do we do with this? Right. It's like the whole, if it's at a party, the whole party is not ruined, but it's just like, how do I get away from this person? Right. It does.

It shifts the atmosphere. The whole atmosphere changes because you don't know what they're going to do and say. And it's like, they don't even want the attention, but then they do something, and it's like, eesh. I just don't, I don't, like, I don't know. So for me, the way to get, let me see this. I wrote some scriptures down about insecure people. Because literally, secure people will never do

and say certain things that insecure people will. And their behavior and their attitudes towards others, it's not good. There are certain people that want to serve at this church that are extremely insecure. And the way that they behave towards others and they lash out towards people, you're not serving at this church. You're not. I don't care how much you want to. Like, I'm not putting you in a position where other people have to deal with you and deal with the attitude or deal with, it's not happening. We've had to remove people from serving in different places. They fight to stay in that position and then they have to be told by leadership, you're not serving here

anymore. It's not happening because of the way that they deal and make other people feel. It's not good. We're not, it's like insecure people, it's usually all about them. That's the problem. It's always about them. Always. And the reason it's always about them is it's usually fear-based. Yeah. It's something fear-based for them.

Yeah. Proverbs 29, 25 in the New Living Translation says, fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety. A lot of times, insecure people just ruin lots of things. 2 Corinthians 3, 4-5 says, We are confident of all this because of our great trust in God through Christ. It is not that we think we are qualified to do anything on our own. Our qualifications come from God. If you're insecure, you need to write these

scriptures down right now. Proverbs 29, 25, 2 Corinthians 3, 4 through 5. Your insecurity is holding you back and it's keeping you from being successful in relationships, maybe with finding a boyfriend or a girlfriend. It's keeping you from having great friends. It's keeping you from serving in a church, potentially. If you're here, it's definitely keeping you from serving in a church. It's keeping you from being successful in your business. Insecure people, it's like the vaccination. If you're vaxxed right now, you don't realize it potentially,

but you are shedding sickness and disease off of you. It's a fact. And so that's exactly what insecure people do. They're just shedding crap constantly. Nobody wants your crap. I don't want your sickness and disease if you're vaccinated. That's why I pray over myself. And you definitely don't want an insecure person's shedding of their crap. I don't want your sickness and disease if you're vaccinated. That's why I pray over myself. And you definitely don't want an insecure person's shedding of their crap.

I don't want it. Psalm 23, 1 and 5 says, If you're insecure and you read that scripture and you find out who you are in Christ, how can you be insecure anymore? It's not possible. Know who you are in Christ. Be strong and proud of who you are in Christ and then walk it out. And don't think of other people as a means to ends of getting over them to get to the place that you need to get to or lashing out at them because you don't feel good about yourself, so you lash out at somebody else to make yourself feel better.

It's never going to work. Nobody's going to want to be your friend. If you knew who you were in Christ, you wouldn't need to do any of those things. You would just be so full of confidence from who God has made you to be. Jeremiah 17, 7-8 says, But blessed are those who trust in the Lord, and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. If you're insecure, is that you?

Have you made the Lord your hope and confidence? They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. They never stop producing fruit. A lot of times insecure people don't read their Bible. That's the reason why they're insecure. They don't know who they are in Christ because they don't know the Bible. They don't worship the Lord.

If they worship the Lord, when you worship and you truly worship, what you end up doing is you stop worshiping yourself and you worship Him. And what happens is you lose sight of yourself and you worship him and what happens is is you lose sight of yourself and you lose all your focus goes to him that's if you pray and all you do when you pray is me me me me me me me that's a problem you need to it when you pray it's less about you and it's more about him who he is in your life if you focus less on your problems you find out your problems you don't have them you have less

problems and there's more things that you can accomplish I don't know if I'm explaining that very well but I'm just saying you are when you focus less on yourself you become less insecure yeah absolutely first Peter 2 9 says but you are not like that for you are a holy chosen people. You are a royal priest. This is who we are, each and every single one of us. I think one of the reasons why I don't lack confidence in so many things, and I like myself, and I am a strong personality,

is because I absolutely grew up in a home where, like, I didn't hear a lot of attaboys and pats on my back and, and like, until I got older, like I didn't always hear like, you're the greatest thing since sliced bread. When I did things that were really good, I did, but on the whole, I had to work for like compliments and things like that. That wasn't just something that flowed. But one thing that my family did not, my parents did not lack in making sure that I knew was who I was in Christ. They made sure that we understood that once we were saved, all the things that were provided to us and all the things that we were now a new creation in. And if you know those things, it changes everything for you.

But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are a royal priest, a holy nation, God's very own possession. You are his possession. This is crazy. Like he owns you. Like out of everybody in the universe, you said, God, you're going to be the Lord of my life. And then God says, you're mine. He knew you before you were in the womb. He knew you before you were ever born. And then you come and you choose him because we all have personal choice. And then you choose him. And then he says, now you're mine.

And I'm going to give you everything. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God. This is because you are his possession. This is what you should be doing. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God. For he called you out of the darkness and into his wonderful light. That's what we should be doing. If you do those things, you will have a group of friends that you laugh

and joke around with and you can like laugh at yourself and when people are like we're at the gym like I'm always doing things wrong okay Heather is always right next to me and Heather is always like you're doing it wrong and then she laughs at me I laugh at myself too I'm a sight okay now when Heather's laughing at me and then sometimes she's like dogmatic you're doing it right because I'm dogmatic I'm not doing it wrong right okay even if she's saying those things to me her purpose is people can get so offended you like you're telling me I'm doing it wrong now

when I'm arguing with her that I'm doing it right I honestly believe I'm doing it right not because I'm so offended that she's telling me I'm doing it wrong people are so touchy that if you tell them they're doing it wrong like they're automatically thinking you're like personally offending them or you're going after them if somebody that loves you is, and we're just using it as an example, telling you're doing it wrong and then laughs at you, they're not laughing at you to be mean to you. They're laughing because it's funny. It's like, it's not personal. It's like, don't take yourself so seriously. If people say they love you, you need to trust them. They love

you. And it's nothingness. It's just nothingness. So literally, we do a lot of laughing while we're working out because I do a lot of things wrong. And she's pointing them out quite often to me. And then I'm arguing with her. And it's funny. It's like it's life. Acts 20, 32 says, And now I entrust you to God and the message of his grace that is able to build you up and give you an inheritance with all those he has set apart for himself.

Acts 20, 32. You need to write that one down. That is huge. And now I entrust you to God and the message of his grace that is able to build you up and give you an inheritance. If you don't know what your inheritance is, you have lost your mind. You need to find it in the word. It will blow your mind what God has set up for you.

With all those, he has set apart for himself, which would be me. So while you have an inheritance, I'm coming with you. I have one too because I've been set apart myself for him. I'm just saying, if you're insecure, become secure. You're holding yourself back. No one really wants to hang out with you too. I'm going to be honest with you. If you are wanting a wonderful group of friends,

don't look at what you think other people have and think it's the way that it is it's not that way not that I'm saying I don't laugh a lot I don't have fun that my life is probably my life is pretty dang full it is sometimes I have to pinch myself and say am I this? Because I never in my wildest dreams thought that life could be this good. But it can be for you, right? And I will tell you this. If you want, I told my daughter this because all her childhood, she had no girls. This church had no girls. We only had boys. And so she grew up playing with boys and she used to be so sad because she'd have no girls to play with. And I used to say, you need to pray them in. You need

to pray girls in. Now she has phenomenal friends. I mean, she has, she's like me. She has friends of all age groups. She hangs around Tracy. She hangs around Vesna. So she's stuck with Heather and me because we're basically family of hers, but she's always had that. Then she has Logan. All of them are older, but I think Logan, how old are you? 33. So, oh, you are a lot older than her. I thought you were like 28. I thought you were like 28. Hey, thank you. I know. But then she has a lot of friends that are in her age group group but all of them are they're married some of them have kids logan's pregnant like you have to be willing to not set a standard for yourself that this friend has to look like this yeah right you have to be like when i dated tom

i didn't know i was going to date him i only wanted to be his friend right um he was not appealing to me in the slightest but it's end up being the best thing that ever happened to me because i was open to something that i was never open to before and i ended up marrying the guy so friends are the same way like you can't look at somebody exterior wise and say that doesn't fit the bill for me they might be the best thing that ever walked across your pathway. And they may not look like anything you would have ever been friends with, but if they love Jesus, give them a try.

Because you might laugh harder than you've ever laughed before in your life. I'm just saying, don't have, just don't have, I will say it, like a lot of the girls are beautiful girls. Our church just so happens, we have a really great looking setup of people. But, that's not always the case. And so,

YouTube, not always the case yeah and so YouTube what if it's your adult child with that demeanor what if it's so I think back when you were insecure being insecure and high maintenance that they were commenting and asking like what they would do for their adult child like how do you handle that do you want that to be a new question or do you want to touch on no I can address it like if it's your child that has insecure and you have to be a new question or do you want to touch on that? No, I can address it. Like if it's your child that is insecure, then you have to be honest. Like I will tell you, with my kids, there is nothing off the table for them to discuss with us and us to discuss with them. And there is a lot of – like we hang out a lot with our kids. Like several times a week we hang out with them. And we were just laughing at

Tom and myself. They were laughing at us at some of the things that we do that are flipping annoying to them. And it was all true. Like we were, they were honest with us and they were calling us out on some things, which were actual factual. And so those are things that we can fix, right? When with both of our kids, there have been things like insecurity, like talking too much about yourself, not being a person that wants to go out and talk to people. And like my kids are very, very different. Right. And so we've addressed different things,

behavioral things, all these different, that's what you do. You're training your children up. If they're an adult though, they should be somewhat of a person you can speak quite frankly with. They should be able to be frank with you. You should be able to be frank with them. And you should be able to show them in scripture, like, listen, this is a problem. And I'm going to help you with it. We're going to pray it through. Like, there's things that I, even with my kids, we literally pray it through with them. I got a 25-year-old almost. Is Tommy 25 or 24?

Okay. He'll be 25. Thank you, Heather. 25 in December, and my daughter will be 23 in November like parenting does not end a good parent like my still talk to my mom about things like good parents don't stop parenting because you become an adult oh who should they trust more with their hearts and their and their souls but their parents like we should There should be nothing off

the table ever that you can discuss in a very honest way that will make them better, would also make you better. And again, last night they both busted my chops, which was kind of funny. And it was absolutely true what they were saying. Guess what I'm going to do? I'm fixing me. I'm not going to do the things that irritate them because it was valid points. So the same thing goes for your kids. If you have a great relationship with them, you should be able to discuss those things, be honest with them, show them in the word, and then also walk them and help them through it being insecure. Because being insecure is rough. That is a rough thing. But it's fixable and it needs to happen.

And if they're a believer, it has no business being in their lifestyle at all. But you as a parent, study the word out. Begin to pray over it and ask for God to open a door so that when the door opens, it'll be just such a beautiful conversation that it might free your kid from insecurity. It's a huge deal though. But if you're looking for great friends, pray. Pray them in. I promise you. I promise you. If you pray them in, they will come. My daughter did it. I've known other people. I've done it.

It happens. And they will be the best thing ever. But don't want what somebody else has. Because what they have is not what's perfect for you. God will make sure that what you get is perfection for what you need. So, you guys have anything else to add to that? No, that was really good. Good answer.

Okay. And here's the thing. I will say this. Like Tracy is an extrovert but can be very reserved to a certain extent. Like you don't have to hold the show. Right. No. Like you're not a ham. No.

By no means. Even though you can be one. True. Logan, quiet you can be one. Logan, quiet, but can be an extrovert. You're also reserved. Vanessa, super quiet, but not insecure or whatever. Now, Heather and me, Heather can be quiet, but Heather and I, like, we're a force to be reckoned with sometimes. Ready to pounce.

True. True, true. We're just a force to be reckoned with. Yeah. That's why we keep you around. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, but, hey, listen.

I would say both of us, even both of us are quite aggressive, but at the same time, even though we can be aggressive, and have we missed it and we've hurt people's feelings? Yeah, we have. But everybody knows us and our intentions are not to be like that. So grace is applied. And I give grace to other people when they're not ebbing and flowing in their place. Nobody's perfect. But if you know the heart of the person, you know that their intentions are never to hurt you or to be mean to you. And that's the other thing I think people always need to be evaluating. Am I being offended just because I want to be offended? Or am I really looking at the heart behind of what that person has done? I often do this.

If it's a friend of mine that does something that kind of like makes me shrill back, I always think to myself, okay, wait a minute. If that person knew that that bothered me, would they have done that? Probably not. So did they mean it probably not so it's just one of those things that was like it just happened doesn't mean anything it just means that maybe they had like I do at times just a moment of not thinking something through and they didn't purposely hurt me. It just happens sometimes. Always look at the heart of the person. Would they mean to do that to you? If they would, then maybe you need to think about your friend. If you know that they absolutely, if they knew that would hurt you, they would never done it, then let it go. It's not worth it. That's really good. Let it go. So I think you need to keep all these key

notes of like, when you process things that would normally offend somebody else, like, what does hope think? Like, WWJH. Don't think about what hope would think. Because, but that's so good. That's so good that like, you think in your brain, would they have done that? If they knew that that would offend me, would they? Because some people probably would because they're poking the bear. But if you know their heart in it, that's so good, Hope. Yeah, I never do that.

That's a great. Well, I don't. I normally think. Yeah. I promise you, I almost always think, would that person have hurt me on purpose? Right. No, they wouldn't have hurt me on purpose? No, they wouldn't have hurt me on purpose. So I'm not going to, I'm just going to move on. And that's how you live.

That's how I live life. That's one of the ways I think though, I don't get offended easily. Right. And I don't hate anybody. Right. Like I don't have, and I just, if, if the person's a nasty person, I just move right along. I just move along. That's freedom right there. Huh? Freedom. So freedom. I don't have to.

That's the greatest thing. You know what? Yeah. Enjoy life knowing that not everybody's going to like you. And the ones that do, I hang on loosely to everything. Because you just never know when God's going to call somebody out. I hang on to things loosely, but I love mightily. And so for me, it's freeing.

If you don't set your heart on something, like, for example, back in the day, I used to think that person will be around forever. That's just not reality. True. But you love them much while you have them, but be willing to release them when it's time to let them go. Yeah. It's such a great thing. And then there's no hurt feelings. Right.

And that's loving the person more than yourself, too, because you want what's best for them. But if somebody doesn't like you, who cares? Preach. And that's the other thing. Preach. Like love the ones that love you. Yeah. But don't care when the other ones don't. Yeah. Who cares? It's just not possible. Not everybody's going to like you. It's not possible. It's true. So why set a goal that's impossible to even meet? Amen. It's not possible. So for the ones that don't, see ya. Peace out. They're a loss. They're a loss.

Don't let the good Lord split, hit ya. Where the good Lord split ya. Right? Yeah. So we have a minute 42 seconds. Okay. To say the sinner's prayer. I don't think I'm going to answer this other one.

I might be able to answer it really quick. No, I can't. But listen, I'm going to answer the next one, which on Friday, seriously, I'm going to read it to you really quick. This is crazy. This is flipping crazy. I did not know this.

We were recently told by Catholic friends that they believe that Mary, the mother of Jesus, did not die, but was assumed. Assumed. And taken to heaven. I have never heard this. Assumed. Like they were taken to heaven like Elijah. They never died. Like Enoch. They never died. Like Enoch.

They were assumed. I'm going to get into that one on Friday because that one blew my mind. Do you know that the Catholic Church preaches that? I didn't know that. That's one thing I did not know. I did not know that. That's some crazy crap right there. That alone should make you say, there's nowhere on the Bible, that alone should make you say,

I can't be Catholic. Catholicism is not for me. It's not even in the Bible. But I'm going to show you where they come up with it. It's pretty wild. That's interesting. Thank you for that question. and i know who sent that one to me they sent me some good questions too because they put their name on it listen if you put your name on it i'm going to know it otherwise i pretty much don't know who wrote writes these uh you just send them to me yeah yes so i'm i'm getting to my august questions just for the record so keep sending them in huh i was clearing my clearing my throat. Okay. You're allowed to

do that. That was Vanessa clearing her throat, not passing gas. Thank you, Jesus. All right. What are we doing? Prayed with hope. I'm reading what I'm reading your little thing. It's ready for you. I'm reading what Tracy has ready to go after we pray. If you don't know Jesus today, or if you need to get your life right with him, say this prayer with me right now. Heavenly Father, I come to you right now. I thank you for what you did on the cross for dying for my sins and washing me clean. I ask you to forgive me of my sins. I ask you to be the Lord of my life. Show me the way you want me to go. 180 degrees the opposite way.

Whatever you say I will do. Whatever you say not to do, I will not do. Give me a vision of what you have for me, the tasks that you want me to accomplish, and I will begin them now. In Jesus' mighty name we pray. Amen. Amen. If you said this prayer, please let us know. Listen, just because you're a new believer doesn't mean that God doesn't have a plan and a purpose for your life. It says our steps are ordered. And I purposely put that in the prayer so that you begin to realize that God has a purpose and a plan for you and it's a beautiful one the sooner you start walking it out the better life begins so find a good church get a good

Bible dig in pray worship and you will and find a really great set of friends and you will do well in Jesus Jesus' mighty name, have a great day. Bye. Real Talk. Real Talk. Real Talk.