The Hope Hotline - The Hope Hotline | S02-E66 | 10-23-2024

Episode Date: October 23, 2024

Question 1I have family who go to a church that does not allow instruments to be played while they worship. They believe in the Bible, but their worship has no guitars, drums, or piano. I don’t understand why. Can you explain this to me?Question 2Ok I have read various things in the Bible & I’m curious, thoughts on dating someone who’s divorced. Also, thoughts of dating someone who is catholic but doesn’t believe in praying to Mary or other saints. I have my thoughts but wanted yours!

Real Talk. Real Talk. Real Talk. Real Talk. Hello and welcome to the Hope Hotline. Thank you so much for joining us today. Greatly appreciate it. All I can think of right now is somebody sent, I think it was Taya,

I literally had in my head because I was just watching my mukbanger girl two seconds ago. And it made me pop, what popped into my head was somebody, and I think it was Taya, I might be wrong about this, sent me some little Asian girl, beautiful girl, all makeuped up, and then she's eating the head off of an octopus and pulling its brains out. Was that you, Tam? No, when was that? Now I'm going to have to look it up.

It was disgusting. I almost sent it to Tracy last night to say, Tracy, what is up with this? Hold on. I'm going to go to my. It's Tracy, me? Yeah, you. No, thank you. Well, I don't blame you for that.

I think Tracy Lopes might like that. No. I was joking. God bless that child. I know. She wouldn't. It was. Who sent that to me?

Did somebody send it to you? Or maybe Tommy? That's something he would send. Yeah. No. The top one on my thing is Sarah. Then it's Clover. Then it's Christy.

How do I find something that somebody sent me? Go in your DMs. You should go in each chat and look. You guys are at the top. Adalas, Tara. None of you guys sent this to me. Did it just show up in your For You page? Was it Jer who sent that?

No, he sent me something else with people dating from the 90s. Oh, my God. He sent me that, too. I don't know. He sent that to me, too. He must have us on a God. He sent me that too. I don't know. He sent that to me too. He must have us down on a rotation. He has a system.

I don't know what his system is. He thinks you like it. Was it Kristen? No, it wasn't Kristen. Who sent me that disgusting thing? It was on Instagram. Let us know in the chat. Who did it?

Was it on Instagram? Okay, I have a confession. It did it? Was it on Instagram? Okay, I have a confession. It was me. Was it you? No. Listen, I definitely didn't. I wish I could. I'm not kidding you.

All I have in my head is that girl biting the head off of that. And she smacked her mouth so much while she ate no no no no yeah i don't like that i'll find it guys and then i'm going to show it to you it's very important information the fact that that this is even a thing mukbang i know when did when did yeah where did that come from like who decided that that was like what i don't know, but listen, I would love to be a mukbanger. Okay. I would, but. Listen.

I can't do it. A little spinoff? You know, because all these mukbangers, how they do it. Massive bites. Massive bites. I don't like that. They like to pour everything all over, which I don't mind that. But then it gets all over their faces, which I know you're going, why are you

watching that? But the thing is, it's not as bad as it sounds. It just would be bad if I was doing it to myself. When I'm starving to death, I watch it heavily. I know, that's very interesting. When I'm very hungry. Is that a trauma response? I don it heavily. I know. That's very interesting. When I'm very hungry. Is that a trauma response? I don't know. But I haven't watched McBain in probably over a week. Can we unpack this for her?

We need to unpack this, Hope. Let's unpack it. Let's have a moment. All right. Why are you? Only if you find the Ark Church pastor that you got that crap from and punch him dead in his face. Can you unpack squat?

Can we unpack your trauma response to why you watch it when you're hungry yeah somebody in the comments fill us in like i said um hold on what's it wait a minute yeah makes your food taste no it was christian yeah i would yeah oh kristin did it kristin that makes so much sense yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kristen sent this to me. Yeah. Now it makes sense. Okay.

So I'm going to. Do you guys want to see this? I do. I absolutely do not. But I will. I will take one for the team. It's from. Or a squid. Do you guys want to see this?

I do. Absolutely not. Tracy, I'm sending it to you. It's going to be on Facebook. Oh, Facebook. Under your message. Under your messages. That's why I couldn't Absolutely not. Tracy, I'm sending it to you. It's going to be on Facebook. Oh, Facebook. Under your message. Under your messages. That's why I couldn't find it because it's, I don't know.

Why Kristen? Kristen, why on Facebook? She's 23 years old. Exactly. Why is she, and she's lucky I even saw my messages because I don't even go to Messenger. Right. Why would you? Well, the only reason I did is because one of my the trainers at the gym

like she's been messaging me on there so and I've been that's the only reason I saw it but I'm telling you guys my shirt like this is terrible. This shirt's gonna drive me nuts but this is absolutely terrible. I'm gonna

literally throw up. Wait can you? Oh I can't even. Please. Yes. This is absolutely terrible. I'm going to literally throw up. Wait, can you? Oh, I can't even. Please. Yes. This is so bad. Uh-huh. But can you screen? Yeah, she needs to screen record it, and then we'll.

Yeah, yeah. It's pretty bad. So you want to go through your stuff, and then we'll go back to muck banging, and then we'll answer. Then we'll go to why you're really watching the podcast. Yes. I've got a glimpse. Oh, it's so bad.

Okay, just do what you got to do. All right, guys, welcome back to the Hope Hotline. We're so glad that you're here. Again, as you know, I know we have live streaming on the Hope Hotline and also on Foundation Church. So if you want to head over to Rumble, I'm actually going to do the quick little link right now because we would rather you over there. So if you can, hop over to Rumble, I'm actually going to do the quick little link right now because we would rather you over there. So if you can hop over to Rumble, if you can't, that's okay. Just try to, you know, maybe in the future, maybe at the end, go over and maybe make a little Rumble account. And so I just put the link in. That's the direct link to what's going on right now. That's the live chat. But you can

always just click on the Hope hotline, make sure you're following. If you can give us a thumbs up right there as well, once you get over to that page, that would be awesome. We'd really appreciate that. So we just want to make sure that we can say what we want to say and show what we want to show. And Rumble allows us to do that. Facebook has given us a lot of issues, not just on our own page, but also on Foundation Church and the TLP. And because we're all kind of one group together as one thing, we kind of unfortunately get the consequence across all the boards. So Rumble and Blackrobe are two platforms that we really like to use. And Rumble has a live chat.

And so if you are watching right now on Rumble, let us know. Push the like button, send a comment. You can do the live chat which disappears but you can also put a comment over on the other side if you have a question or something that you'd like to kind of keep there whatever it may be if you're watching the replay that's the place that you would obviously put your information is in the comment and then we have our audio podcast later youtube you can subscribe to but also another platform that we are, you know, not super happy about all the time because they always do something silly. So Rumbles Our Place and Black Robe.

And then also we would love your questions. Just send those in. Askhope at HopeHotline.com. We have our merch that is available in-house. So at church, at Foundation Church, but also it's available online if you're not here and you want to get a shirt or a hat or a mug or a spoon. That's where you can go right to FoundationChurchFL.com and just click shop. And we haven't shown Talia in a little while. So here's cute Talia with her cute little hat.

She's the cutest. And I think that's pretty much it for today. Interesting. Interesting. Yeah. So I'm going to come back to us. Talia's being my little helper over here. Did you find it, Tal? She found it.

She screen recorded it. She airdropped it. And now I just got to put it in our little folder. And then it will appear here. I can't believe you're making us do this. I don't know if you actually like me. I'm just telling you, this is the extent of my banging. Hopefully people can hear it.

Yeah, I think it's going to be nice and loud. And why she sent this to me, it just shows the lack of love and honor and respect that she has for me. This is literally, like, Kristen, this is your pastor. So disgusting. Are you ready?, this is your pastor. So disgusting. Are you ready? Yeah, I'm ready. Okay.

That's crazy. That's my people, but normally that sound, is it, is it my sucking of the brain? I can't believe we're doing this to our viewers. That's muck banging, people. But normally... Oh my gosh, that sound. Is it? Is it muck banging? It's the sucking of the brains. I don't know how that doesn't make you gag.

Hope, you have a gag. You have a thing. I have a strong gag reflex, I know. But that, for some reason, doesn't do it to me. Are you okay over there, Vanessa? I honestly couldn't watch it. Vanessa, are you going to throw up? I have tears in my eyes.

From gagging? That's like this guy on TikTok. It's the noise. Have you seen him? That's the brain sucking. I'm like literally, no, I haven't. There's this guy on TikTok and he does these TikTok filters where it's like really gross foods and you have to rank them, but he has a really like bad gagging while ranking them

and he's like crying. It's so funny. But it makes me gag and I don't gag. I don't like gagging while ranking them and he's like crying it's so funny but it makes me gag and i don't i don't i'm not i don't like gagging neither do i but i know it's really easy right but that didn't bother me it it's what did what did she pull out i didn't even watch it it's not the brain probably the skull the skull way to go tal that's probably the skull. The skull? Way to go, Tal. That's probably the skull. But it's an octopus. Isn't it all gushy and not hard like our skull is? It might just be a layer that you can't, like a skull layer that you can't eat.

Whatever it was, she was able to suck that thing out, pop it down on the plate, and keep going. Didn't stop her. Are you okay over there? I can't stop. You okay over there? You okay over there? One minute. You wanted to see it.

I know. I did not. You did great, Trace. I did not watch it. Oh. You are cheated. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. The mukbang I normally watch does not involve. And they're not normally that loud of eaters.

If I ate like that back in the day, my dad would have like had my head. Knocked you out. Yeah. If I chewed gum like Vanessa does, my dad would have had my head. I would have been dead. There was no chewing gum like Vanessa in my house. I would have been knocked back into the like, I don't know, 20th, not 20th, like 1800s. I need these videos on like on demand.

I wish I had your brain. Like I could like download your brain like 24 hours behind this. I could be ready. Gosh. Yeah. Not kidding. So funny. Not happening. Not on his watch.

He literally looked at me like I had lost my mind. Either knock it off or I was still not too young to be whacked around a little bit. That's so funny. I know dad would come in the privacy of my car by myself. You've done it with me. Have I? Yes. You're highly blessed.

And Talia, how was it? Highly favored. It was so fun. And she's talking while doing it, and I like. She has like a beat. She's got like her like. It's the popping. She pops.

And it's the popping of the gum. And the out loud chewing. You know what? I think Tom almost broke up with me one time. Oh my gosh. Because I was chewing gum. And it was a big piece of like that hubba bubba. Like you wad.

Oh yeah. You know that baseball wad you can get. Or it might have been bubble yum. And I hadn't had it in a really long time. And I was really enjoying it, apparently. That was with my mom and Tom. And we had just started dating. We were probably, like, two, three months in.

And I am, like, going to town on that piece of gum. Like, I hadn't had a piece of gum in umpteen years. And my mom, it was driving, and she looked over at me and she was like, if you don't stop with that gum, I'm going to kill you.

And Tom goes, thank God. Because we were so new in our dating, he didn't want to be rude, but he's like, thank God she was driving me crazy. Oh my God. That would have been your last time. Because we were so new in our dating, he didn't want to be rude. But he's like, thank God. She was driving me crazy. Oh, my gosh. So bubble gum was out of my. That's why I now chew gum.

Yeah. In the privacy of my car. Yeah. Well, sometimes with Talia. Small pieces. Small pieces of gum really help with the. Well, maybe not for you, Vanessa. I have to do at least two pieces at a time.

Oh, see. It is. It is. It's the double piece. That not for you, Vanessa. I have to do at least two pieces at a time. Oh, see? It is. It is. It's the double piece. That's the problem. It gets the mouth going. It's why I have such a chiseled jawline. It's the Vanny on the Block at that moment.

Oh, yes. Yeah. Vanny on the Block. That makes me think of LL Cool J's. One of LL Cool J's songs. Please don't. I'm not. Which one?

I'm not. The one I sang, I didn't know what I was singing? Yes. That one. Because I was singing the same song. I had no idea what it was talking about. Back in the day. I didn't either.

I think you did. I was roaming around. I might have. Yeah. Maybe not. I was older than you guys. Yes, you were. That's how I around. I might have. Yeah. Maybe not. I was older than you guys. Yes, you were. That's how I would go to the club.

Yeah. Oh. Not good. Not good, people. Okay, let's get holy. Let's do it. Not like the holy piece of gum that Vanessa chews. Oh, my gosh.

The time she's done with that thing. Can you imagine what your piece of gum looks like? Can you imagine that? It disintegrates. Like the gum is probably like, when she finally spits it out, they're like, thank God. I know.

Thank God. Sometimes I chew it for so long, my jaw hurts. I can imagine. Oh yeah, I've been there, but I don't chew gum like that anymore. Oh man. It's like your job when you're chewing your gum.

Yeah, that's true. Like your job. Yes. You're diligent. Very diligent. She's going to make sure that there's absolutely no flavor or savor left in that piece. Nope. Okay. I wasted time.

Okay. Let's go. Okay. First question is I have family who go to church that does not allow instruments to be played while they worship. They believe in the Bible, but their worship has no guitars, drums, or piano. I would die. Wow. Wow. Well, I knew what denomination this was right off the bat. But I would die. I could never. I don't know. And I don't understand why.

I don't either. Can you explain this to me? Probably not. I don't get it either. And I had to look it up. Because, I mean, one of my good girlfriends back with my last job, she was Church of Christ. And Church of Christ does not believe in any instruments.

They're not the only denomination. I had to look this up. Church of Christ is the most well-known, the biggest denomination that we all recognize that does not practice allowing instruments. I will tell you, in the United States, there are some. There is, let me see how many, let me see. I got how many, hold on.

There are approximately 20 out of 12,000, 20 out of 12,000 Church of Christ's that will allow music. Or not that they allow. That the church will allow. The church itself. The building. The people that attend. The pastor that's the pastor. Do you know which one

it is? You're going to be shocked. Because I didn't even know this guy was Church of Christ. Max Lucado. What? Max Lucado. His church in San Antoniotonio texas i did not know he was i had no idea he was church of christ i didn't either he is church of christ believes very similar to us they don't believe in the gifts okay they don't believe in the gifts they believe that you can lose your salvation yeah Very strict on women and submission. They don't believe women can be,

I didn't either though. I mean, so I'm not gonna bust, they don't believe women can be pastors, neither did I. I mean, I had to research it out, study it out, find out I was wrong. But they are very, very holiness based, not like holiness Pentecostal.

You can have makeup, you can havecostal. You can have makeup. You can have short hair. You can have earrings. They're not like that. It's interesting as to the reason why they don't believe you can play music, which we'll get into. But the other denominations that, which we might not be too surprised about, but if you've heard of these denominations, I'll be shocked. One is primitive Baptist, old regular Baptist,

and some Reformed and Presbyterian churches. Which, I mean, we all have heard of Presbyterian, but like most Presbyterian churches all have music. It's like an organ or something. It's very old fashioned. It's very Catholic, but but they plant they allow music right but the biggest one that everybody usually knows is church of christ they don't and it's all acapella it's either it's the written word that is spoken okay or it's acapella song hymn sung one my my girlfriend told me they would have these, you know, back in the day, but they still

do it. It's a very small church. It's in the country. It's in Tennessee. And so she said that their church would have Sunday night, like, it would be a Sunday night where people could get up and sing that weren't on the worship team or that were assigned to sing. And they would be able to go up. Can you imagine if you, and this happened because she told me,

can you imagine if you can't sing, at least an instrument hides how bad you are. You got no instrument. It's bad. You're hearing every everything every i mean bad note every the poor timing of how you're singing the song i mean there is no hiding are they allowed to clap you know how you like they didn't't say that. That's a good question. Probably not because that would be considered an instrument. Yeah. Distraction.

My goodness. Yeah. It's weird. Now. Oh. I'll call him back. I needed that call. One moment.

Hold on. Trying to see if it says, can you clap at Church of Christ? Let's see. What did they say? Should we clap our hands? Southwest Church of Christ. No one knows for certain when the applause becomes a fixture in society. Already doesn't sound good.

No. No. I'm going to assume no. Yeah. No. No. I'm going to assume no. Yeah. Like no clapping. I don't think so. They say it's because the Old Testament does not say that you, that it does not, and the Church of.

Oh, it's no. You can't? It says, should we clap our hands in the worship assembly? And is applause acceptable reaction to the joyous occasion of baptism? The answer is no. Well, you know what? In some ways, that's kind of good. Do you know why?

Like the end of clapping, you mean? Like an applause at the end? Yeah. You know why? Yeah. Because if they stink and you have to clap, you're stuck. Do I clap? Do I not clap? If they stink, you're not going to you like you're stuck. Do I clap? Do I not clap?

If they stink, you're not going to clap because you're saying well done. Right. But they stink. So everybody sits there and doesn't clap. Now you're insulting the person that just sang. That's just sounded terrible. This way. No clapping at all times.

Yeah. Set you up for great success. Yeah. That makes sense. You don't have to lie. Yeah. Okay. It's kind of a. That is. And then there's no lying in church. A saving grace. Yeah, that makes sense. You don't have to lie. Yeah, yeah, okay. It's kind of a

saving grace. Right, right, absolutely. I'm never wearing this shirt again. We just need a little clip. I'm never wearing this shirt again. Like right here. It's driving me crazy already. I mean, I feel like I have wings and then I feel like it's too low. Just don't move.

A photograph's fine. Don't move. Whatever you do, stay still. Stay still. Don't move. Photographs fine. Yeah. Don't move. Whatever you do. Stay still. Don't move. Put my hands. There they go. Okay. Slow. Good.

There you go. It says that my problem becomes your problem. Sorry about that. It says that the new Testament doesn't talk about it and does not show where instruments are used in any way or instructed to be used but the old testament does it does uh so for me i'm like well just because it doesn't say it in the new testament it's because it's the new christian church um but even though it doesn't say say it in the new Testament, isn't the Bible the same yesterday, today, and forever? Shouldn't whatever happened in the Old Testament be allowed in the New? I mean, again, I guess

it's because they're Jewish and they're practicing in the synagogue and these people are Christians, but even Jewish people were still Christians along with Gentiles. Why wouldn't that transfer over? I don't get it. Makes no sense to me whatsoever. So let's look at scripture. And I'm going to show you, this is the scripture. This is the particular scripture that they used to prove that there should be no instruments. Matthew 21, 23 through 27, and this is New King James says,

Now when he came into the temple, the chief priests and the elders of the people confronted him as he was teaching and said, By what authority are you doing these things? And who gave you this authority? But Jesus answered and said to them, I also ask you one thing. Which of you, tell me, I likewise will tell you by what authority I do these things. The baptism of John, where was it from? From heaven or from men? So they answered Jesus and said, We do not know.

And he said to them, neither will I tell you what authority I do these things. Yep. Okay. Where in the heck do you get from that scripture that no instruments?

Yeah. Nothing. At all. That's reaching. Like no tomorrow. Yeah. That's reaching farther than eternal security. So this is what they say.

That Jesus did not follow Jewish traditions and rituals. So Christians should not adopt worldly practices like instruments for worship without it being in the Bible. That's literally what it says. That's what it says about clapping, too. It says that though it seems innocent, and perhaps in some cases it is, ultimately we must respect the authority of Scripture and not go beyond what is written.

I know. Listen. That makes no sense whatsoever. I know. That's hard. That's hard. That's hard to get behind. I feel like they're missing out. I know.

Exactly. I know. That's the sad part. Well, they say it's because the New Testament does not command us to do it. That's why they abstain from it. Okay. But it doesn't say not to do it. Right. Exactly. Right.

I'm like, that's where I'm like completely like it doesn't say not to do it. Right. So why can't you do it? Mm-hmm. Um. I don't know. Let's look at Old Testament

because I got plenty of Old Testament scripture that says to do it. Psalm 81, 2, and this is the Amplified Classic. All of these are Amplified Classic says, raise a song,

sound the timbrel, the sweet lyre with the harp is telling you to add musical instruments to your song. Psalm 4.1 says, Answer me when I call, O God, of my righteousness, uprightness, justice, and right standing with you. You have freed me when I was hemmed in and enlarged me when I was in distress. Have mercy upon me and hear my prayer.

Okay, I don't know why I pulled that one. I don't know why I pulled that one. That one might be wrong with something else. Somebody needed that. Oopsie-daisy. Wrong scripture. I tried to prove something like they did. You're like, don't you see it?

With a whole lot of nothingness. Okay, well, thank God. Let's make sure that the next one actually does before I start reading it. I'm not going to do that one either. Here's one. This one, yeah. First Chronicles 15, 16 says,

David told the chief Levites to appoint their brethren, the singers, with instruments of music, harps, lyres, and cymbals to play loudly and lift up their voices with joy. People say you can't dance either. Well, David did. He did. So did Miriam. When they crossed over the sea, Red Sea, they all danced.

Yep. They got down and boogied. I don't see anything wrong with it. It depends on how you get down and boogying. Are you twerking? Probably shouldn't be twerking. I mean, David, he got almost naked. What do you think, Hope?

Yeah, he did. So maybe you can twerk. Win for Talia. It's the condition of the heart. What's your heart posture? What's your heart posture in that very moment? I want to know. Because your tribe is, they're watching you at all times.

And they want to welcome you home. And they want to love you well. And love you well. And love you well. And give you a fresh start and a new beginning. Exactly. While you're twerking your way in on a Sunday morning. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.

Wait. So Psalm 4-1 says, for the director of music, with stringed instruments, a psalm of David. Answer me when I call to you. Oh, he must have been singing. Give me the relief in my distress. Have mercy on me and hear my prayers. So it was with stringed instruments. Oh, I must have missed that part.

It was NIV. That was NIV. It's probably the title of it was that, correct? I'm just looking at Bible Hub because I was looking at the different translations. When I looked up music and instruments, that came up, and so did the other one that I skipped. But listen, I'm not going to look like an idiot because I don't know why I pulled it up. So we're going to skip right on past those. Okay, okay. It was there. You were right. It was just a different version not good first chronicles 23

5 david says the same thing and said david 4 000 shall be gatekeepers and get this and then he said 4 000 are to praise the lord with the instruments which i made for praise so he not only commanded people do it but he himself made the well i'm not saying that he physically it, but he himself made the, I'm not saying that he physically made them, but he commanded that they be made and had instruments made. So if that's the case, I mean, for me, it's like, if it was good for David, it's good for us. I literally was thinking that. Yeah.

And God loved David. Man after God's own heart, 100%. 100%. And then I will say this too. What are we doing when we're following man made rules?

If it doesn't say not to do it in the Bible, then you're probably okay to do it. If it says to do it in the Bible, then you're probably okay to do it. If it says to do it, then obviously go for it. But if it doesn't say you can't do it, then that's a man-made, Church of Christ is a man-made doctrine. Just like, unless you go to a non-denominational that doesn't have a doctrine that you follow. It just says, we believe. Yep. But even some of those that say we believe they are actually, I take that back because like,

like Elevation Church is, says it's non, non, non-denominational, but they're Baptist. Right. And they, I believe is a Calvinist teaching,

a Calvinist teaching or Calvinist thing. So Elevation Church is a Calvinist church, which is the ones that Stephen Furtick is one of the big kahuna hunas over the associated related churches. So they can look just like us, but still have man-made doctrine. So I take that back. Be very careful with that too. But I found this, this scripture is perfect because at the end of the day, this is all that really matters. Okay. Have no instruments, have instruments. I mean, it's not heaven and hell thing, right? If you tell somebody they're going to hell for, you know, like the Robertsons, Psy and Sadie and all them, they're Church of

Christ. So I will say this. So as long as you don't tell somebody if they have music being played at their church, because it doesn't say if you do, you're going to hell. And if you don't tell somebody if they have music playing played at their church, because it doesn't say if you do, you're going to hell. And if you don't have it and you tell somebody, I mean, I'd say you're missing out. But to them, if they've never known it, are they really missing out? Probably doesn't matter to them. At the end of the day, do you love Jesus? And 1 Corinthians 1031 tells us this.

And here's what's most important is, so then, whether you eat or drink or whatever you may do, do all for the honor and glory of God. If that's what you're doing, no instruments, instruments, who cares? Are you doing it to honor and glorify God? Or is it about you? Because a lot of times people on worship teams and preachers themselves and people who are in the public eye,

why do they do what they do? Is it so people glorify them, pay a lot of attention to them, treat them special, gives them a power trip? I mean, they want people to think that they're, you know, super like holy and they got it going on when the truth is nobody's got it going on. We're all trying to just do the best that we can by what the word of God tells us to do. Hopefully most people are, but a lot of times people that are in positions that give them authority, the reason they're in that position is not always pure. And people that get to speak or to lead people, whether in worship or whatever, you should be evaluating yourself.

And I mean, almost on the daily, making sure that motives are pure and that everything is done to glorify and honor God. Cause the rest of it is a heap and a pile of, of poo. It really is. But people get caught up in that. And that's a very, very dangerous. Um, I mean, Vanessa has been on the worship team. I've been on the worship team. You know, I speak to people. They lead a group. We've all been around people who've been considered powerful, either in the political world or business or, spiritually speaking, pastors and stuff like that. I've known plenty to get caught up into the wrong thing

and get distracted or lose their way. And if you're always evaluating why you do what you do and you're being as transparent as you possibly can. I think it's a safe bet that you'll always stay right where you need to be. You know, uh, you guys can put yourself on. I hear these, uh,

I've heard these, I don't watch a lot of TV anymore, but back in the day, I'll, you should use one as an example. I saw Jennifer Aniston on a talk show. I don't even know which one it is. People were telling, saying to her, how do you stay so grounded? How do you just like,

you're just like everybody else, you stay grounded. And she was, she believed the hype because you get like, you're making a million dollar an episode and everywhere you go, people are like, ah, you know, whatever. And you begin to think like you're more important or you're more super special than everybody else. You're not. I mean, you're not. And so she was just saying how her friends and her family, who are all superstars like her,

they kind of keep each other where they need to be. And I'm like like that's such crap that's such crap um because it's so easy and you know because ministry how many times i mean ministry is absolutely and it's so wild because i i literally said the words that you just said yesterday to our girls. And I taught on that because you list, for me anyway, I'm constantly in self-examining mode. And it's like, okay, I list all the things that I do. I'm a mom, I'm a wife, I'm a friend, I'm a daughter. I serve at my church. Now, why do i do the things that i do

what fuels that and it's super important because you can get fleshly very much so gotta be careful and at the end of the day like you everything you you do should glorify god yep and you should do all things unto the lord and if if that's not the case, then it's time to pivot. Yep. Another friend's reference. Pivot. Remember?

Oh yeah. Pivot. Pivot. I, listen, I died on that. That one, I literally had tears rolling down my face.

That one was so dang funny. It's one of my favorites. Me too. One of my favorites. But I just think, too, like a lot of times people start, like if you start seeing like you're laying hands on the sick and they're recovering, right? And then people start calling you and they start saying, hey, listen, I need you to pray for this. Or people call you up for your advice because they find that God's given you discernment and wisdom on things.

What happens sometimes is you forget who you got that from. And so much has been given, it can be taken away. Now your gifts and callings are revocable. But at the same time, the amount that you might be used might be limited by how you respond. And you need to be super, super careful. And this is one of the things I love about Tom. I love this about him. Staying grounded is no problem for the man.

Because he knows outside of God, there's nothing. And we all need to remember that. Outside of God, we have nothing, we are nothing, and we're so blessed. I think of it often. I'm like, I am so blessed to be surrounded by the people who God has allowed to be around my life. And it's like I just got that today.

I just got a text. I said that I just got a text from somebody that I really needed to talk to. Okay, that person has been in me and Tom's life. Now they moved away. They still are very involved with this church. They come when they come here. And I think to myself, like. When they started coming so long ago, their grandson was so small and he was in my kids rock class and now he's like a man.

And I sit there and I go, there's such value in that relationship. But outside of God, I would not have it. There's so much value. But what happens is people start reading their own mail or start believing things in themselves that they fall prey to starting to think that, look at me, look at me. Not that I would feel like that because there's nothing to look at,

but I'm just saying a lot of times people get caught up in that in ministry because God is using them in a mighty way. It's really not you. It's like if you're super intelligent, sorry, but that's not you. God gave you that. You're just lucky that you were birthed that way.

It's natural. But I don't know how we got on that, but it's keeping everything in perspective, being don't follow man's doctrine. Follow the word of God, and he'll never fail you. Always stay transparent. Always stay honest. Always stay real.

Be super grounded, because I'm telling you, like you look at pastors who have been, who've gone astray, had affairs and things like that. The reason they did is because they thought they were above it all. They were above sin and things like that. Or Satan deceived them. Yeah, absolutely. And here's another plug for the four essentials.

If you are living every single day and following the four essentials, the Holy Spirit will keep you in check. Yeah, you will immediately feel convicted when you say something or do something. Or your motives aren't right. You could be doing the right thing and your heart posture might be stinky but no for real like you could be doing the right things but you can be doing it for the wrong reasons like why do you do the things that you do

is it to look or have a sense of like um false in front of people to like portray yourself as something in front of people, like really examine yourself. Take a moment, examine yourself. Why do you do the things that you do? Okay. And if you don't fix it, then God is good because when you're trying to stay as close to him as you possibly can people will come in and out of your life that's just the way it is but a lot of times it's it's actually healthy when certain people it go out of your life but if you don't keep things correct then sometimes you lose very important people that you didn't need to lose correct and for And for me, I'm like, that's not a good, that's not something that I want to experience. All because I started going a little haywire and not keeping perspective on the important things. Right.

Because you miss out on the richness of relationships. And it's like I was telling Heather last night, there are just some things that I, that there are relationships that are, there are just some things that I'm not willing to compromise on because I won't lose that relationship. And relationships are very rich and very important. And a lot of times we think they're very disposable but they're not and um but a lot of that is how true are you to the word of god and how true are you in being all that god's called you to be yeah i agree it's very scary i mean i've seen it i've seen people um lose their way and it's because they started focusing on themselves instead of keeping the first things first yeah yeah which is very dangerous but on to our sponsors really quick

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Not uncommon. Right. So, give them a call. Alright. Are you ready for the next question, girlies? Ready. Alright. Let me fix my shirt. It's going to be the theme of the day. Can't wait to get this sucker off.

Soon, soon. You're almost there. Oh my gosh. I'm going home after this podcast. I'm changing the shirt and I'm coming home. Back. We have a merch store. If you didn't know, it's available.

That's what I'm doing. If you want to head over to the merch store, there's a UBU t-shirt that you could switch into or anything. Oh my gosh. Anything at all. It's available today, right now. That's true. I might, because I have a meeting with you after this.

So I guess I will be going to the merch. There you go. I will grab you a UBU shirt. Thank you very much. So the next question is, okay, I have read various things in the Bible and I'm curious thoughts on dating someone who's divorced.

Also thoughts of dating someone who is divorced also thoughts of dating someone who is Catholic but doesn't believe in praying to Mary or other saints I have my thoughts but wanted yours do you guys have your thoughts I do interesting what's your thoughts which one yeah what are you divorce yeah well been there done that so I always highly encourage people to find out why why did they get divorced yeah um it's easy to write people off um when you hear divorce because it's like one of those nasty things like I never in a million gazillion years thought that I would be a product of divorce yeah and so I'm glad that people didn't just write me off and ask me like what was going because I had no um say in it I tried to fight for my marriage if you're new here tried to fight for

it and it was they my ex had made the choice to not stay in the marriage and signed papers served me within three weeks so well it didn't help he had another woman he had an affair he also served me papers so like there was no option for me. The Bible is pretty clear about divorce. So I think this is kind of an easy thing for you to check the fruit on is, was their divorce biblical? Where did they stand with their walk with God? And if they weren't a Christian, where are they at right now? Are they so new that maybe they could fall back in old ways? Like, you know, you fell out of love with somebody or they just weren't the right person for me and I didn't know.

This is definitely a you have to check the fruit kind of situation. 100%. Yeah. Tell you, you got an opinion? Nope. Not been there, not done that? Nope. You can still have an opinion, baby. Yeah.

Would you date somebody that's been divorced? Like, would you give them a chance? Yeah. I mean, if their reasoning is like yours, then yes. Like you would you date somebody that's been divorced like would you give them a chance yeah i mean if if their reasoning is like yours then yes but like you would date me i'm just saying i'm happy about it probably not i probably wouldn't go in that territory oh yeah yeah yeah i wouldn't either you You're uninkley yoked. Yeah. Vanessa? Same. You know, everyone has a story.

I know that Scripture... Oh my gosh, you sound like Carl Lentz. Oh my gosh. Holy crap, she's so arc. It's unbelievable. Say it mean, like hope. Oh my gosh. How else would you like me to say that?

Not like Carl Lentz from The View. What? You don't know what I'm talking about no oh my gosh he was asked about if abortion was a sin yeah and he goes well because he's you know ex-hillson yeah yeah yeah yeah he's like well everybody has a story first we'd have to start with hearing their story. And what that really... Right. That one's pretty clear. Yeah. Okay, Carl. Give us your opinion.

Lay it on me, Carl. I am speechless. So far, this has not been the podcast for her. I've made her want to vomit. Why do I keep coming? I put myself through this torture. I'm like a bad habit. It's for the plot. Vanessa, I'm a bad habit.

It's for the plot. I'm a bad habit. I make you keep coming back for more. You don't know why. You're like abused wife. This is an abusive relationship. This is very toxic. She's just hoping things go back to the way they were when we first loved each other.

My goodness. Okay, I'm going to regroup here. I love it. I love it. Scripture is very, very clear on divorce and marrying after divorce. And so depending on a person's background, not their story, their background.

You said it with more authority, so hope's approving. I can't help but laugh. I have tears literally rolling down my face. Because I think of Luke 16a, everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery. And he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.

But that also means like if there's a grounds for divorce. So if it doesn't fall into the grounds of divorce, then if they do remarry, there is that. I'm going to blow your mind. Please do because that's how I was taught. I'm going to blow your mind. Please do, because that's how I was taught. I'm going to blow your mind. You did a great podcast on that scripture. I don't remember that one. Yeah, it's very, this is why I, like what Vanessa just said.

Vanessa, I saw that scripture, even when I studied it out. Yeah. Like, you know how it's, it's extremely limited on how much you can study it out. Yeah. To a certain extent. Right. And so like, there's the one in Matthew that talks, like, you know how all the gospels are.

Matthew 5, 32. Yeah. So listen, I, it's like the thing with women shouldn't speak in the church. Like I was, I was married to women should not preach. And if a woman got up, I was like, I really want to just get up and leave. I don't want to hear what she has to say because she's out of order, which, okay, that's not knowing. It's like studying it at all. But, and I was in awful transparency, I was completely wrong.

That, I laugh so hard, I have the biggest loogie in my throat. I can't even tell you. Gosh, Vanessa, you kill me. That was so freaking funny.

But I was like you, Vanessa. Like, wait till I, wait till I, that's how I was taught. because that's exactly like how it blanketly just says it. Without knowing more detail, it's pretty wild.

But I'm going to get to that. So finish your thoughts now. What about the Catholic thing? Oh, I mean, I wouldn't entertain that. Even if they say that they don't practice praying to Mary or the saints. Like this person was saying that this. Then what are you? That's what I was going to say.

Like, then what are you? Because isn't that Catholic? Like you, well, not part of the belief. Well, no, not just that. You go and you ask forgiveness from the priest who's the father. And the Bible says we're not to call anybody father. We don't align. We don the father. Right. And the Bible says we're not to call anybody father. Yeah, we don't align. We don't align.

Yeah. Because, like, if you don't believe some parts of your faith, then, like, what do you believe? You know what I mean? So do they believe? Yeah, that would be complicated. I would be like, are you even Catholic? Right.

Or would you like to explore? Well, no, they could be Catholic. They just don't believe in praying, doing some of the, they believe in some of the, I think that they're not practicing. They just say that they're Catholic. Right, right. But really in all actuality, they are Catholic. Okay.

They just might not be practicing, but that's who they believe they are. Because that's like being like, you know, word of faith and then not believing in the word of faith or only parts of the word. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, are you word of faith? Like, do do you believe but they really are to a certain extent it's like um right my husband's family they're all catholic do they practice catholicism right nope right but they are die hard we are catholic okay and name only but you will not convince them

right that to to they will not sway or go to another denomination. It's part of their identity. Yeah. It's like who they are. It's their, what's it, when you like your, like heritage. Like, you know, it's part of like what your family grew up in. Yeah. You take pride in that.

Yeah. Yeah. Up north it's like that a lot. There's a lot of Catholic churches up north. And so everybody went, everybody was Catholic, pretty much. All of my friends went to, what's it like when you're 12 years old, what do you have to do? Catechism.

Yeah, okay. Yeah, CCD. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. So everybody did it. And I'm like, am I supposed to do this? Oh, yeah. All of my friends were Catholic. But here's the thing.

There's something to be said. And I don't know if you were there, Tracy, when we were talking to Adalys and Magalys about this, but Northerners have a heritage. There's no transient kind of thing. You go to that church and you go to that church. Forever. Forever, for the most part.

Yeah. Unless you see something not biblically correct. And then you're like, we got to dip. We're out right um but you don't just jump from like down here people bounce like there's no tomorrow that's like they like in texas we were talking like that's a different mentality for them they've not seen they're like this is wild yeah because in revival Revival Today in Pittsburgh, people are diehard. This is our home.

This is where we say we go. This is where we're going to go. So them having a different church in a different area, they're like, this is different. Like the mentality is very different. But it's a transient mindset. Absolutely. Which is not good.

It's not good. I think they call them the Christian gypsies. They just go from place to place. I think they said that on a podcast recently. I meant to screen record it. It was pretty funny. That's a very accurate depiction of it. Almost everybody that I'm friends with doesn't attend the same church they went to 10 years ago. Like all of my friends. I mean, I would, maybe even five years ago, I would say. Like I'm thinking of all of my friends that go, like friends I have like far away from here and all different areas.

None of them go to the same church. That's wild. Yeah. That's wild. Because back in Virginia, I pretty much, my parents did go to different ones, but we stayed there for long periods of time long periods of time yeah most of my childhood then my teenage years different and then my 20s you know we only

left we left when there was an issue that's the only time we ever left a church we had two churches growing up like well one me from like till 18 and then 18 till now basically. So, um, my, my, my parents, me personally, but, and we,

my parents didn't, there was, when there was infidelity, my parents didn't even leave. Yeah. They, the pastor had to go, but then they tried to stay and help with the new transition and bringing in somebody new.

But, um, I mean, they bounced. Don't get me wrong but like when they got came down here yeah but yeah but at the same time like growing up it was we did we did go for it was different up north is very different than down here it's very sad yeah but um so for me i was thinking i was i was saying, I was saying to myself when I was doing this, like, would I, like, I don't think there's anything wrong dating somebody who's been divorced.

But I'm like you. All of you. I would have to be, I would have to know why. Would you need to know their story? I would have to know, yeah, I would have to know why. Would you need to know their story? I would have to know their story. I'd have to know some background. I would seriously need to know why. Were you saved when you got the divorce?

What was the reason behind it? And like Vanessa said, how long were you saved? If there was no infidelity, I probably wouldn't date you. Yeah. To be honest with you, unless you weren't saved and you had gotten your life right with God and you'd been saved for a substantial amount of time, five years plus. And now you understand why all of that is wrong. And entering into another marriage, those are not options for exiting out of it. So I would even at that point encourage, like if there was somebody that I really cared about,

like a guy that I cared about and he realized that he made a mistake and he left a wife that he shouldn't, I would even have encouraged that guy to go back and see if he could make it right with his wife. Now, if they had, if that wife had already moved on, obviously you don't do that, but there is like things that you should do to honor God, even when you realize that you, you may be messed up, you know? So, and if he wasn't willing to do that, cause he's like, Oh, I just kind of lost feelings. Like that would be another red flag for me. So there's definitely ways to fruit check. 100%.

And I looked up, I was interested in why do people mostly get divorced that are outside of cheating, like adultery, fornication, which is the two reasons Jesus said. But communication problems. 100%. That's a pile of poo to get divorced over that. Yeah. But communication problems. A hundred percent. That's a pile of poo to get divorced over that. Yeah. Figure it out. Financial problems.

Yep. Okay. I'm sorry, but if you date somebody long enough, you know if they're a spender. If you can't be trusted with the credit card. I mean, you know this.

Problem is, is nobody dates anybody long enough. Lack of of intimacy which all of this should be discussed like these are things that most people are not discussing what the problem is is most people are having sex outside of marriage yep so you're dooming your marriage because statistic goes way high if you're having sexual intimacy before you're married, statistics are off the charts on that you'll have a divorce once you're married because that's just the way it is. Chasing different goals, which is getting married too young, a lot of times that can happen because your frontal lobe

of your brain fully develops and now you realize oh i don't want to do that anymore right okay and then you want to do something different he wants to do something different and now you're going in different directions he wants to be in ministry you have no desire to be in ministry that's not going to be a problem that's going to be a big problem abuse you grow apart how many of us have heard that especially for older people yep a lot what were you gonna say vanessa oh no no oh i thought you were gonna say something was it arc was it something and now you're stopping yourself she is she's she's holding her words wisely now god bless substance abuse well we've seen that one

people start out in their marriage and there was no alcohol there was no drug abuse and then alcohol slipped in or there's an injury and then you're like addicted to painkillers okay yeah

that happens 100% it happens. Yeah. That's an excellent point. That's a really good point. Lack of support, which I never even thought about that, with substance abuse. I know. I didn't either.

That's so true. Yep. That happens to a lot of people. A lot of people. Because of big pharma. That is such a great little snake in the grass yep family pressure um and none of them are biblical yeah not a one of them right so for me i if any of those were on the list, which those I think will cover about everything, right?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. That was good. Outside of fornication or adultery, you're not even, you're not on the realm, in the realm of my radar. Like I won't even, and again, unless you were very young, you were very young and stupid, you got married dumb, and you weren't saved, and you fix it, and you now know those aren't good enough reasons. But even then, I'd be honest with you. Yeah. That's a risk.

I don't know if I'm willing to take. Right. It's a risk. It's a risk. I'm going to read to you what Perry Stone says. Okay, so do you remember this, Tracy? Because you sounded like you remembered it. Vanessa must have been on holiday.

She was on holiday. Another whammy for her. She must have been one of her vacations. What do we call, what do we say when she's on those vacations? She's living her best life. We know we say that. But what is the other one? I don't know.

Oh, man. Rags to riches story right there. Absolutely. That shows you what God can do. Yep. When you put God first. All the time. People think that there's no hope for them.

I'm telling you. You're looking at a girl at the end of the table that they did it right. God blew their socks off. So if you read, hey, can you do me a favor? Can you look up Matthew 5, 31 through 32 really quick? And like New King James Version for me.

Matthew 5, one more time. Matthew 5, 31 through 32. And I'm going to tell you the next one after you read it. Because I need people to understand. Because I have it in the King James version and it might be like jacking them up. Okay.

Okay. Do you want me to read it? Yep. Okay. So it starts with marriage is sacred and binding. Furthermore, it has been said said whoever divorces his wife let him give her a certificate of divorce but i say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery now that that's the Luke verse that you were talking about. Yeah. Now this

gets interesting. There was two theories or two mentalities for divorce back in biblical times. So it was a very conservative view and a very liberal view. Two different philosophers. And I can't remember their philosopher names, but they were well-renowned, well-renowned, and very respected, and people followed, the Jewish people followed one or the other, okay? But this is not, this, you're going to go to 19, Matthew 19, 3 through 12 next. Okay, so this particular scripture, this is what this means, Vanessa. Get this. Here Christ explains a bill of divorcement. That's why you can't get married on the beach and say your vows to one another and not get a certificate of, what is it called when you go and get your marriage license? Your

marriage license. Thank you very much. I answered my own question. That's why you just can't get married on the beach without a marriage license. Because guess what? There's no bill of divorcement needed if you decide you don't want to be married anymore. It's very convenient to get married and you say, you know, before God. No. But you're not married. And you're actually living in fornication.

And you're not going to go to heaven in that state. So you might want to go and do it the right way. Because in biblical times, a bill of divorcement had to be provided when you no longer wanted to be married to someone anymore. That's the truth. So get this. Here Christ explains a bill of divorcement, which the law required to make a divorce legal.

Lots of people do not realize, like back in biblical times, they had rules just like we do today. Without this official legal document, if someone simply left their companion without a legal separation by the law and remarried, they would be in adultery. So what was happening is if you look in Old Testament, I mean, if you look in the Bible, there are places where it says that a man put his wife away. When he put her away, he put her away without the bill of divorcement. So when he put her away, he separated from her, leaving her if she remarried to cause her to commit adultery. Well, he's committed adultery because he never got the legal bill of divorcement.

That's what that means. Oh, that makes a lot of sense. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. Yeah. So they're not committing adultery because they got divorced. Right. As long as there was the legal papers, then you're not committing adultery.

It was when people were just getting rid of their wife. Putting her away. Putting her away. Didn't want her anymore. And then going and marrying somebody else. And then some other man might wanted her. And now he's going to marry her. But they can't because they're not legally divorced.

They're just legally separated. Now you're committing adultery. That's what that verse means. That's interesting. Yes. Knowing what was going on in those times and knowing what that period, that's what, now we're going to go to 19, 3 through 12, which explains this verse even more.

Go ahead. The Pharisees also came to him, testing him and saying to him, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason? And he answered and said to them, have you not read that he who made, or he who made them at the beginning made them male and female and said, for this reason, a man should leave, shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. So then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man separate. They said to him, why then did Moses command to give us a certificate of divorce and

to put her away? He said to them, Moses, because of the hardness of your heart, permitted you to divorce your wives. But from the beginning, it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces And then Jesus teaches on celibacy and it says, but he said to them, all cannot accept this saying, but for those to whom it has been given, for there are eunuchs, is that right? Eunuchs. Eunuchs, thank you. For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb and there were eunuchs. Eunuchs, yeah. Thank you. Who were made eunuchs by men. And there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for a kingdom of heaven's sake. And he who is able to accept it, let him accept it.

Okay, so a eunuch was like Nebuchadnezzar made Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego eunuchs. He removed their testicles. So what that would mean is so that they would never be tempted or inclined to leave him to be with women. So that's the reason why. And the Lord is saying some people are made to be eunuchs and that this isn't the catholic faith being priests where you're you're you're devoted to

the lord some people are eunuchs because the only thing is is what all they want to do is serve the lord okay but that's not because of a doctrine that tells you that you can't be married and things like that um but is it better to not be married probably for but if you can't not if you can't control your flesh then dadgummit get married and then be honor your spouse right um personally i'll be honest with you. Like for me, being married is no different than being single because marriage is super easy for me. It's not hard, but for some marriage is very difficult for them. It would have been better for them to, to not marry. Um, so because they picked the wrong one or they made, you know, just bad decisions in their marriage. Here's what these verses mean, and this is very interesting.

It says, this is an important discourse concerning divorce and remarriage. God's original plan was for one woman to marry one man, becoming one flesh, living as husband and wife until death separated them. In Christ's day there were two views on divorce and remarriage one comes or one conservative and the other one quite liberal the liberal view held that a man could divorce his wife for almost any reason including not preparing his meals in a manner pleasing to him christ however and that was happening people just didn't want her anymore. So they were

like, you gone. It's not. And Jesus was like, that's not good enough. Christ, however, aligned with the conservative view that the only reason for a divorce was marital unfaithfulness, fornication, and adultery. One of the conflicts during this time was that some husbands were separating from their wives and remarrying divorced women, which were put away. That's that put away. Put away is separated. They weren't legally divorced through paper. They were just divorced in name only with separation.

Without proper legal bills of divorcement. Thus, if there was a separation and remarriage without a legal bill of divorcement, the man was in adultery, still legally married to his wife, yet having relations with another woman. That's what that means. So people who are divorced, as long as you got legally divorced and you have a legal document, you're not in sin and you're not committing adultery being married to someone else. Okay. But here's the thing. At the end of the day, the word is the word. And Jesus said, the only reason to get divorced is because of fornication or adultery. You cannot get divorced because you have buyer's remorse.

Sorry. Amen. Sorry. You made a decision and that's the way it goes. You don't get to say, I don't want to do this anymore. That's why I am so, and so is the peanut gallery. That's why I am a stickler on how important making a marriage decision is, how important it is, and make sure that you know, that you know, that you know, that you know.

Um, I'm, I, I am what you call a buyer beware. When selecting getting married, I would be the person that says, like, you know, when I when you do sales, if anybody's ever done sales. One of the things that they teach you when you're doing sales is that when you're talking to somebody and you're trying to sell them a product and in their mind most of the time depending on how expensive the product is they're trying to talk themselves out of buying that product okay especially if it's super expensive and what your job is to do is to not hit those triggers for them. So you're reading that person. For example, selling real estate. Somebody tells you, back in my day selling real estate,

somebody would tell me these are the things that I want for our house. You find them the exact house that they want. It's a good buy. And you know that you're going to get this for an excellent price this is going to be a great asset for them but what happens is internally they start getting nervous and they start going oh my gosh this is the biggest purchase of my life I'm getting scared I'm getting nervous and so what they'll do is start talking themselves out of making this purchase and your job is not to hit the trigger words to make them do that,

because first of all, you want to make a sale. But second of all, you know, if you're a good salesman, and you're doing what's best for your customer, you know, that in a year, they're going to make a killing on this house. And this is the best decision they could ever make. Like this is exactly what they want. Okay. You should look at marriage the same way. You should look at marriage like people do buying something expensive. Meaning, think of everything and every reason that you should talk yourself out of being in that relationship. And then as that person tries to prove to you the best thing and it's the best thing for you, like they'll hit a trigger word maybe

and it'll be the thing that like totally makes you flee. But truthfully, you should, the whole entire thing, most people though with relationships are committed to commitment and just committed to love instead of committed to, is this the right person for me? Is this the best decision I am making? Is there someone out there that fits the bill better?

Just like people oftentimes are, is there a better house out there? Is there something else out there that I will fall in love with more? Okay, you should be thinking that way. Until you hear the voice of the Lord tells you, this is the one for you. You need to be thinking, am I being wise? And most people when it comes to relationship, absolutely not. That's why dating somebody who's Catholic should be off your list immediately. Because you're unequally yoked. I was never allowed to date a Catholic, and I was never allowed to date a Baptist boy. And the reason why, and I've told you this before,

but the Catholic faith is borderline cultish. Are there Christians that are Catholic? 100%. Most are not, though. That's the truth. And my dad was like, you're not going to be involved with the Baptists because they believe that you don't lose your salvation.

And then you'll start sinning, and then you'll never even know to repent because you believe, and then my grandbabies will grow up in that denomination. It's a dangerous, dangerous doctrine. And I agree with him. So what are you guys laughing at? I'm sneezing over here. I can't stop. And I'm like, trying to hold it in. I can see her picture. I can see her over there going, pointing to her nose. I know. And now my nose is running. Are you coughing or sneezing? I can't tell. I know,

I was trying to hold it in. Oh, now you're all stuffy. I know. I need to blow my nose. That's what happened to me before the podcast. I sneezed about five or six times. So for me, buyer beware. And again, if you're in a marriage and you're like stuck with those lists of things that you wish you knew before you got into the marriage or, and maybe they weren't even present. Maybe you weren't saved when you got into that relationship. Maybe there's a whole lot of maybes, you know, that I can list.

And we're 15 minutes over, so I'm going to keep it limited. But at the same time, like you're in it now. If there's no fornication or adultery, you stick to what the word of God says. And Jesus said, those are the two reasons you can get divorced. So those are the two reasons that you will stay married because they aren't present. And then you pray your way through on all the reasons that I listed that might be a problem for you in your marriage. You pray it all the way through. There is no buyer's remorse once you get married you're stuck and make it so that you don't feel stuck make it so that you feel like okay this is something i can do i can see hope and and redemption on the other side and we will be better than we were when we entered into this marriage

because outside of that i don't really see and that's a tough one if you're single you haven't made the mistake yet so So you're on the safe side. But a lot of people get desperate. The older they get, or I mean, when I say older, you get like people get 25 and they get desperate. And they're like, at 19, they're like, okay, but 25, you start freaking out. And then if you're past 25, you start, is it ever going to happen for me? You keep perspective in the right place. It'll happen for you with the right person. But don't be desperate that you're willing to date people

that you normally would never have dated when you were 22 or 23. All because you're afraid it won't happen for you. You're better. I used to say I can do bad by myself. I don't need to add somebody to the mix, you know, and you can, if you want life to be rough, add the wrong person. I see it all the time. And people think, you know, people think I'm such a hard nose about it. They do. Like, um, I mean, my kids will tell you.

This is one of me and Tom's pet peeves. And people have said, yeah, we know, because you talk about it all the time. I talk about it all the time because I've seen people get divorced so many times. Or I see so many bad marriages. Yeah, I know. marriages yeah yeah i know that for me it's like i'd rather save somebody from that from going through that than them just jumping into it and hoping for the best or thinking they're getting the best because they're so stupid they didn't they didn't think anything through fair you guys gonna want to add anything in there?

I don't think so. You hit it. If it's on that list, then God can do anything. And so you might as well give your marriage. Because the thing is, if you exchange this husband that you don't care for or there's an issue with when you get a new husband, it might not be the same issue, but you're just basically trading issues. And so if there's not a money issue, there's going to be a communication issue.

And so every relationship, every friendship, every family has their things. And so you just pray it out. But it goes back to what we talked about, and I think it was what Vanessa really answered a lot of, I think it was on, let's say Wednesday, on Friday, which was about being involved with somebody and what do they do in crisis situations?

Yeah, exactly. How do they respond? Because financial problems are going to come. Yep. Yeah. Absolutely. They do. I mean,

what will he do? What will she do? Yeah. Or together. How do they respond? Right. How do they respond? Yeah.

Like if you have a child and like, if there, if there is a, you know, we'll face many trials in this lifetime, but you know, maybe your faith, is it like with me and Tom, when,

when we experienced what we experienced with Norma, right. Being in ICU for 10 days, not eating for, I don't even know how many days we didn't eat. So Tom and I, when she didn't eat, we didn't eat. We fasted. I don't even know. It was so long, how long we didn't eat. We fasted. I don't even know. It was so long, how long we didn't eat. But what do you do in those situations? Because Tom and I did not crumble. Tom and I took the fight to the devil.

But depending on the situation, and it's us that caused. I mean, Norma should never have gone through what she's gone through, but it was our lack of faith. And that's the truth. But what if you're like Tom and I are not prepared and something happens? It's like what Vanessa said. How are you going to face it? How are you going to handle it?

Because a lot of marriages fall apart when somebody becomes ill. Absolutely. That is true. I saw a statistic that said, um, praying spouses, like there's a 1% divorce rate. So if both, if you guys are praying together, um, the likelihood of you getting a divorce is down to 1%. Really? Yes. What what where did you see that is it a christian statistic um it might have been tiktok but god i love you freaking love you but but here's the thing if that's not a christian statistic okay and that's just a worldly statistic. That makes it even more.

Yeah. Like, because some of the times when I get statistics, like when I pulled the ones about how important a dad is, what's been great is that's a USA Today statistic. So how much more valid is that? Right. Exactly. So if it was on TikTok, that's pretty interesting and it's interesting oh wait

okay uh no never mind okay the claim that couples who pray together have a one percent divorce rate is a myth never mind guys oh tikt. There is no study that shows this. I'm highly disappointed. I've seen something, though. And maybe it says the data doesn't lie. Couples that pray together actually do stay together. And so this is a ChristianToday.com from 2016, but without reading it really fast. I mean, if you think about it, if you come together, cause when you, when you guys have to pray, like when you come together as a couple to pray, it's probably over something like a sick child or something serious. So if that's your first response is to come

together and pray, like you've got a fighting chance. Every time something's hard, you choose prayer. I mean, like, how do you get divorced? Like, how does, how does it even go to divorce when you guys come together for God? Like come together for God, come together. So, like, how do you get divorced? Like, how does, how does it even go to divorce when you guys come together for God? Yeah. Like come together for God. Come together. So, uh, I, I know that in my previous marriage we did not pray together. So that, that, there you go.

And now I do pray together. And you're still together. And we're still together. There is something special about that. There is. Yeah. Now on Friday, I just realized I've looked at this shirt about 100 times in the camera. You know what this looks like to me?

What? A pajama top. I feel like I should be wearing this to bed. You look like you're from... Little House on the Prairie. No. The Polar Express. The girl that wears that.

Oh, I love the Polar Express. I should be doing it this way. But you're really on this side. Opposite. Okay. I didn't see it until you just said that but now I see it now I can see it I need to watch that now

it's getting to be that time of year is Pastor Tom watching all of his Christmas movies? because it's October there's one every Friday night. He just informed me. Yeah, year round. That's what he informed me, Vanessa. What?

You would know it. Every Friday night. It's year round? Vanessa and Tom are like. Yep. I know. We need to compare notes for this season. I think, didn't you send him last year, like all the newbies?

Yeah, that sounds about right. We need a Christian, a Christmas Hallmark movie hub group. Oh, Pastor Toman, you can lead it together. I will not be present. I want to vomit. Oh my gosh. So apparently relationships are a lot on the topic. But I thought if we could have gotten to it,

I was going to talk about this one. But now we're 25 minutes over. But this is what we're going to start out with on Monday. I mean, on Friday, which may make you not come back. Oh, my gosh. No, you should. Because if you don't agree with it like this is something that you can be like well okay i don't agree with what hope said and then you can fight it out and

figure out why but you might end up agreeing with what you're saying yeah okay what is it what is it so it's the first one that you sent me okay that people are asking about it yeah it says hope what are your thoughts on breaking an engagement? Oh, I did that. I have a friend who got engaged and realized they shouldn't marry this person. Is it a sin to call off the wedding? Well, we might just have. I hope it's not a sin. We're redeemed by Christ.

We might just have Vanessa help out with that one. I've known people who have done it. I've known somebody who did it the night before they were together. My story is pretty wild, too. Okay, come back Friday. It's pretty spicy. Okay, so come back on Friday. Perfect.

Because we need to hear it. But listen. No, maybe I won't come back on Friday. No, you're coming back on Friday. The way you guys treat me. No, she was at the edge. Vanessa. She told you how much she loves you at the end.

No, Vanessa, it's a sin if you don't come back. Okay. And I don't want to be in sin. She told you how much she loves you at the end. No, Vanessa, it's a sin if you don't come back. And I don't want to be in sin. You know that the Lord has called you to be on this podcast. So to do something, to not do something as if it's a sin if you don't do it. It would be willfully sinning, yes. Did he call you out of the podcast is what the question is. Yeah, that's a good question, Tracy.

Thank you for that. I thought we were friends. So Tracy, this is great because Tracy and Vanessa are best friends and I have Tracy turning on her best friend right now for me. Yes. Well, also for me. I like her here too. So this is a win-win situation.

She needs her. I know. We're twinning today. You're so cute so Friday when we enter into a well thank you a bomb of a question I can't wait yeah

so see you on Friday thank you for joining us it's now 26 minutes over super sorry but not sorry bye bye

real talk real talk Sorry, but not sorry. Bye. Bye.