The Hope Hotline - The Hope Hotline | S03-E03 | 01-15-2025

Episode Date: January 15, 2025

Topics: Toxic Masculinity

real talk real talk real talk real talk welcome to the hope hotline it is wednesday and it's almost inauguration day yeah i've never looked so forward. Well, that's not true. Twice in my life. Yeah. Majorly looked forward to an inauguration day other than these.

Yeah. Do you know which ones they were, girls? Did you say two? I had two. Okay. Definitely when Trump got in last time. Preach. Amen.

That's a one. And then. Word to your mother. I'm phoning a friend. Iach. Amen. That's it. Word to your mother. I'm phoning a friend. I don't know. It was Obama. I was just going to say that. Who else?

Who else was good? Was it Bush? I know. No. I mean, I was happy about Bush. I even went to see Bush when he came to Sarasota. That threw me into labor with Norma. Premature labor. Then the election night thrust me right into full-fledged

five weeks early labor. Because I was jumping on the bed. One minute I'm like, then the hanging chads came and I was like, oh. Oh my gosh. Yes, the hanging chads. And I lived in Florida, which was literally, I just went from jumping on the bed with excitement

to like one minute you're excited, one minute you're down. One minute you're excited, one minute you're down. I had not learned to not worry about anything. I know. I know. Is that Michelle's thing right there? What is it? Is that her, excuse me, tripod.

Yes, that is. Yep. Can you email, text her really quick sorry we had we did a an interview um we did an interview uh for a local um well it's not really a podcast what is that she's doing it's it's more about faith-based yeah it's just like an interview she wanted to be able to share like what's going on in the community and i think they just have a youtube channel right and a rumble channel no it's homeland it's for patriot tv yeah it's homeland is her podcast michelle posey if you're watching michelle

we have your yeah i know we have your tripod here at the church you might want to text us i don't know i don't have my phone yeah she i don't think all my phone's over there okay so if you text us and tell us you're at the door i'm gonna vanessa will answer hey vanessa there's my phone over there not that you guys care because this isn't really involving you but it what she probably wants that um so uh no like so yeah with I went, me and my girlfriend, both of us are like, I'm three months pregnant. She's six months pregnant. I mean, excuse me. I'm, at the time, eight, seven months pregnant.

I'm seven months pregnant. He comes, Bush comes to Sarasota Airport. We push our carriages with Tommy is in the, and Tommy was a bump up Bonner. He's big. He's a big in. So I pushed the car carriage or the stroller through this like knee high grass. Pregnant is all get out.

Oh my gosh. And, uh, my girlfriend who's three months behind me in pregnancy, um, she's pushing her son. And so I gave myself heat stroke. No,

you didn't. Yes, I did. Tom's family came into town. I'm like, I'm sick. I'm sick as a dog. I'm like,

okay, we got to go to the hospital. Something ain't right. Cause I was so, yeah, I gave myself heat stroke. Oh my gosh. You're committed.

I was committed. I thought I actually went into labor. I didn't know that, but I, I had given myself heat stroke. They're committed. Yeah, I was committed. I thought I actually went into labor. I didn't know that. But I had given myself heat stroke. Oh my gosh. They didn't give me, I don't even know if they gave me IVs or whatever. I started like coming to. Oh really?

Oh my gosh. I didn't like faint or anything, but I was like, I was not good. Yeah. And then he, it's like four weeks later, he comes, yeah norman was five weeks early wow five weeks early tom was tom was not pleasant to deal with in that just before he was a man of faith yeah yeah he was freaking out because she was teeny tiny well she's no she really she was six pounds something she was teeny tiny. Well, she was six pounds something. I don't know weights, guys. Tom's the numbers guy. I don't know weights.

He knows weights in inches. But they weren't concerned about her weight. Well, they had the NICU unit in there. They had everybody in there because she was so early. Right, but she was big. But she was six pounds something. Imagine if she was born on time. That's what I'm like.

She'd be a 10-pound baby. Oh, yeah. Well, they run big. That's what I'm like. She'd be a 10 pound baby. Oh yeah. Well, they run big in my family. I was eight pounds. But I was, I was very late. I was, I was supposed to be born in April. I was born in May. Oh my gosh.

Back then they didn't take babies. Yeah, that's right. Your mom went forever. Poor thing. My brother was 10, over 10 pounds. I was over eight pounds. 10 pounds. I could not imagine.

No, me either. And she had them all natural. No painkillers. She's pounds. Ten pounds. I could not imagine. And she had them all natural. No painkillers. She's tiny. No nothing. She's a little, she's a little spitfire. That woman.

Don't mess with her. I was average weight, but they thought I was a boy until. No. They flipped you over. I was delivered. Okay. And I came out a girl.

Oh my. Hello. Surprise. Hi. That's crazy. so interesting interesting so okay so what was i saying oh so my other my favorite inauguration was reagan oh okay super excited to say Reagan, and I didn't. I feel like you're way too young for that. No.

No. We lived in D.C. at the time. Oh, even better. Mm-hmm. Okay. Yep. That's pretty great. That's fun.

Mm-hmm. This is so high. What are you expecting for this one? I'm hoping that people aren't idiots, but I don't count on anything. Because you know, the last time he was inaugurated, they

had riots in D.C. They had like people breaking windows and all the other nonsense. So, not a big fan. For sure. Not a big fan. For sure. Not a big fan, but all righty-roo.

Okay. We're live. Yeah. Go do your thing, and then we'll... Okay. All righty. Well, first things first. Good old Rumble.

If you were on there, let us know where you're watching from. Give us a thumbs up underneath the title, and push that repost button. Let's see what happens with that. And then comment, and you can share the link if you'd like to, um, you can post it into your Facebook page. If you are a true supporter, um, pull people off Facebook. If you're on Facebook and you're watching, you know, it's fine, I guess. But, um, but you know, we love rumble. We want to support them. They've been true and true throughout

this whole thing. Black Robe is always available. And obviously YouTube is available as well. We will have the audio podcast up later. So all of you who are listening right now, thank you for listening on the audio podcast and downloading and just being supportive on there. That's really cool. We need your questions so that we can run this podcast. So please keep sending them.

You guys have been sending really great questions in lately. You know, if anything pops up and that's kind of like a new topic and, you know, maybe you can hear biblical principles in it, but it almost doesn't sound right, send it in so we can do a little research. It's fun to be ahead of the curve. I try to pay attention to that kind of stuff on social media. Probably all you guys are fasting social media right now. But at some point when you come back on and you're investing more time in your social media feed,

if you see anything different or weird or crazy, send it our way. We love to hear or we love to do the research on what you guys are finding. So send the questions in. Or if you're studying and you see something like I'm doing Genesis right now, so I'm working through them only on day three. I'm finding so much something like I'm doing Genesis right now, so I'm working through, I'm only on day three. I'm finding so much stuff because I'm taking it slow. And so as I'm finding stuff, I'm figuring out that there are definitely things that I zoomed over and it's making me ask my own questions and do my own research. So, yeah, if you, you know, have the other thing is like when you go and read commentaries and stuff, sometimes they're not always accurate to the Bible.

So also if you get stuck somewhere and you read all the commentary and it's not really making sense, another great opportunity to send a question in and we will give you all the Bible verses. So you can follow us on Instagram and you can follow us on TikTok. I don't know how much longer you'll be able to follow us on TikTok. I have until Friday. Sunday. Sunday, supposedly, it's going to go back. Oh, that's right. So, and the problem is they can't uninstall it off your phone.

However, they do updates about twice a week and they will no longer be able to do those. So, if it doesn't completely go black on Sunday, if somebody doesn't buy it before then, it will start to lag so badly that it will be a terrible user experience. So the only other option is that it's purchased? I think that's where they're at right now is that Elon Musk has had his name out there. That Richard Thomas told me what's the last name is Larry what's that guy's name something Larry. Something Larry. Oh it

he's the shark tank right yeah Yeah, if he's interested. Kevin O'Leary. Kevin O'Leary. Yep, so he might be interested. He's very interested. I hope so. I mean, he's got his name in the hat to buy it. So that would be wild.

Yes, he is. So that would be really great. That would be really great. The crazy part about TikTok is that as a business owner, if you see something making money, like consistent money, to let this just fall off and nobody purchases it, as a business owner, that is like a jab in the heart because you're already making money. You just need to buy it. So you know that when you make money off of or you buy TikTok, you are probably going

to end up making money because it's doing so well right now. It's making tons of money. People are super happy with it. They're making their own money. Now, whether or not they'll keep what people make on there the same. Right, right. It might. Yeah, right. Exactly. It might be very different. But I mean, it would be wild to just let it go. So I don't think they will. It's a moneymaker. It's like Twitter. It's not going to happen. I know. It's so crazy. It's crazy that everybody agreed to take it down, which is a weird thing because they don't agree on anything.

But anyways, as of right now, we're on TikTok. We've been sharing some stuff. We have some really big things coming up if we are able to keep TikTok around. Which we were planning. We've been planning since we've been working on, well, Tracy and I have been working on something and talking about it since November of last year but we knew they were

talking about taking TikTok down but we've been actually waiting because what's the point? Take it down. It's going to require lots of work so Yeah so anyways if Sunday rolls around and Monday rolls around or something happens before that please go and follow us on TikTok because it's going to be some really fun stuff coming up.

And I don't know how we'll repurpose it for here. So you might only be able to see it on TikTok. So definitely head over there. Foundationchurchfl.com. Click shop and you can buy all of our merch. It's always available also at church on Sunday. You can go to the merch store and support the whole pot line. And we are having our good old friend Natalie

coming back at the end of the month. So we need your questions. She is an amazing woman and she is so smart and I love having her on every single time. She is just... It's a great photo of her. I know.

I stole it from our website. Your sister took that, by the way. Oh, good job, Tren. I believe it was Tren. I know. I stole it from her website. Your sister took that, by the way. Good job, Trin. I believe it was Trin that took it. I love it. Of course it's good. Yeah, so good. I could swear it was Trinini. I think so, too. Yeah, I could swear it was her. Like every single one. Natalie's like, can you help me pick the one? And

she sent me all these pictures. I'm like, okay, there ain't one that's not good. Good luck, sister. I don't think you can go wrong with one of these pictures. Right, yes. They were all so fantastic. That is a good problem to have. Yeah, like, who has that problem?

I know, exactly. I mean, granted, you have to be somewhat photogenic. Yeah. But it's the coloring, too. Like, when the person does all of the editing of the photo, you only have so much to work with. But being able to, the edit side and the person side, for so many to come out so good, what's the odds?

I know. Even the reflection, because that looks like a window behind her. Even the reflection's great with her eyes and our new color for season three. So thanks, Tren. Oh my gosh, she's so good, man. season three. So thanks, Tren. Oh my gosh. So good, man. So good.

But here's the thing. Bring, send your questions in. Definitely want them, but I'm just telling you, I, I have her coming on because she and I are going to talk about some things that are going to blow people out of the water on.

Like she is going to like, I, i reached out which tracy told me that she she was going to come back this month but there were some things that i have recently seen and i was like i want to ask you about this is this true and she's like 100 and what we're going to talk about is radical. Like lots of people don't even know. I mean, don't know there's another option to terminal issues, terminal sickness, that it's just going to be amazing for people. She's bringing it. So I told her, I said, this is one of the things I want to discuss.

Bring it with you. And she knows it all. Like people think that there's only one means to an end. And that's just not true because pharma and the medical industry and the pharmaceutical industry as well as the medical industry not just doctors doctors are like bound to what they're told they can do right but there are so many things that people don't know right because we've been they've been held back yeah i believe it i can't wait it's going to be freeing for a lot of people that's like it's going to be bring hope i think yeah i know i'm excited that's

fun so anything else ladies that's it for our little thing going on today okay so um what is that i said good yeah good good okay so we're gonna back to, do you have those pictures from the other podcast? I sure do. Beauty. We're going to go back to our question that we had from Friday. I'm going to go through really quickly what we came up with. Up to the place where we came up with. We're going to go through it really fast. But I want you to know that when we're going over this,

that this is the person that came up with this theology that people have run with. Put that picture up while I read the question. Now, while I read this question, think about this human being, and this is what this human being came up with as far as a theory or a yeah what is it is it a diagnosis of some kind that people have what would you call this yeah it's like a it's a personality trait i guess it's probably the best way to say it um called toxic masculinity this person came up with the terminology and the definition for toxic masculinity and it's not good toxic masculinity sounds as bad as what the title is it's this question was is have i i have seen i've been seeing a lot of videos talking about toxic masculinity and how we as wives need to break our husbands

out of the cycle. I even saw a video where they set up a camera and a woman was sitting on the floor with her husband and he was crying and the caption was, point of view, POV, you and your husband have been working through his toxic masculinity for the last five years and he finally gets it. I think it's sad she humiliated her husband like that on social media. And I thought hearing from you about this would be interesting since Pastor Tom has mentioned some people claim he's a misogynist. But what is your thoughts on the whole toxic masculinity trend? So this human being, what ends up being a trans man.

Correct. being what ends up being a trans man correct which after research that tracy and talia and vanessa did it has we we have come to blows with this human being and what they believe is toxic masculinity which is a trans man i i literally thought this is the one of the ugliest women i've ever seen until i found out well that's because it's not a woman it's a man and men usually don't make pretty women no normally no they don't so i'm going to give you the webster's dictionary definition for toxic masculinity which i was shocked that there was even a definition, but apparently this Yehu has helped in making this happen, I'm sure. A set of attitudes and ways of behaving stereotypically associated with or expected of men

regarded as having a negative impact on men and on society as a whole. The destructive messages associated with toxic masculinity can lead to men feeling entitled to engage in violence against women. And again, like we talked about on Friday, does this happen? Yeah, it happens. On the whole, does it happen? Nope.

I think that if it does happen, I'm going to go through what the four types of toxic masculinity are. I believe that if it does happen where there's a such thing as toxic masculinity, it's not the toxic masculinity that's causing the problem. It's the sin that's in the man's life that's causing him to be toxic. Okay. If you're an alcoholic, okay. Or if you drink, you might become toxic. Okay. But that's the alcohol that's caused that not the character of the individual. It's your poor choices to get drunk. And listen, I was a mean drunk. I could be happy or I could be mean. Most of the time I was not happy. I was mean. So I went from laughing to wanting to punch your face real quick.

So I'm just saying a lot of people make a lot of bad decisions based on what they're doing. If you have an abusive, some kind of substance abuse going on in your life, you might be mean. I know people who get high. They're not nice people. So that doesn't mean, so yes, I think too, like if you're, I think you can become a man that's toxic if you aren't satisfied

in your marriage, but you're not satisfied in your marriage because you're looking at porn and you're always wanting greener pastures. Okay. Yeah. I think that that's possible, but that's not because you're toxically masculine. It's because you're full of sin. You're like you're sinning. If you were like a godly person or if you were a normal person that wasn't chasing after something you can't have, you might be content.

I don't know. Call me crazy. It's good. I mean, like we said earlier, what do you say for the woman? I mean, a lot of people call them the B word. Right. But why are they the B word?

Right. It doesn't mean that they're toxically feminine. It's like there's a reason why they're behaving that way. And it's because of something else, not because of being feminine or being masculine. Does that make sense, girls? Very much. That was great. So the common signs of, and this woman that calls herself a woman that's really a man,

she's probably come up with this because no, first of all, women won't accept her. There's that beauty right there. Look at the beauty queen that she is, or he is, excuse me. She doesn't fit in society for women. So she's trying to make sure she fits in society with women by putting down men because all men reject her. I mean, hello. If you look like that, what man, I mean, I don't know.

If you're a man, what man wants you? That's gross. That is not an attractive. It's something else. It's something else. Yeah. Not attractive. So toxic masculinity, who does he open the door for?

This one blew me away. If a man holds the door open for a woman but not other men, he is only doing it as an obligation or a display of pride formed by the ideals of toxic masculinity. Is this the most stupidest thing you've ever heard of in your whole entire life? Where's the emotion? Toxic masculinity often relieves men feeling like they cannot express negative emotions properly. A lot of men are afraid to feel vulnerability,

hindering their personal relationships. Okay, listen, I am married to one of the most masculine men on the face of the earth. But you throw up a commercial about a father or son or a Hallmark movie, he's in tears. The public swan at Christmas time. Come on. I know's one at Christmas time. Come on. I know. This is such

crap. I went, I go to what's that movie? Titanic. I go to Titanic. I think I might have been pregnant during this movie. I go, I might not have been, but I think I was. Me and Tom

and our really good friends at the time went to go and see Titanic on New Year's Eve night. Oh, gosh. And Tom and his buddy are crying like babies next to me and his wife. Me and his wife are like, oh, God, please. I'm like, you know, although it's a movie that's actual actual yeah this movie isn't real these people aren't dying so everything's okay oh my god calm yourselves that's funny no they were crying i believe i mean like i know so many men that are in touch with their feminine

side but yet very masculine i just think that this is like unbelievable. Well, that's what toxic masculinity is, is that they don't cry. That's one of the issues is that they don't cry. Exactly. That's my point. My point is, thank you, Talia, because you're proving my point. I know very masculine men,

Jer being one of them. He cries. He cries. He does. You know, I know lots of men who are very masculine I don't know a lot of men that don't that are toxic in their masculinity I know there are men that I know that are effeminate right love women that are effeminate yeah and they cry and they would be considered masculine even though they have the side of being.

I mean, our old worship leader, one of our old worship leaders, very effeminate. People thought he was gay. He was not gay. He loved women. He didn't have any problem. Is that what they consider masculine and Tom's not masculine? That's crazy to me. Right, right.

You know who I'm talking about, Vanessa? Oh. Talia probably does yeah huh no no i don't think so oh yeah it was how it was before her but but great i mean great guy i mean he was really we're missing a mic i'm like what vanessa where's your mic she's like there, there is none. There is none. Oh, my gosh. What happened to your mic, Vanessa? It's okay. I don't need to be heard. Yeah, you do.

Come here. Okay, you're going to have to share the microphone because that ain't going to work. I have no idea. Well, that's interesting. Is it because it's over there? No. No? No, it's usually Tom's.

Yeah. Somebody stole the microphone. You don't want to be heard. we're gonna have to find that out but you know what i'm saying so because if you're effeminate does that is are you off the books for being right like and if you don't cry does that not like now you're like you're a toxic masculine because you don't cry yes right you don't cry if you're a guy and you don't cry because that's your talk yeah but jeff doesn't cry that's what i mean and he uh aaron doesn't cry that's what i was thinking i'm i'm married to a toxic mess right according to this which is this this is the thing we found

the other day like this is some guy with his tattoo arm and his beard and he's buff and this is them working through toxic masculinity oh my gosh he it? Oh my gosh, he'll kill you. Can you film it? I'll film it. I might pay you for that. I might pay big money for that. Jess is literally going to stand up and walk out. That's crazy.

Yeah, it is. We'll go to his bomb shelter. Oh my gosh, and do it in there. With the guns behind him. All the ammo. Oh my gosh. I know, it's so silly the ammo. Oh, my gosh. I know. It's so silly.

Beyond. It's so silly. But, I mean, like, Aaron didn't cry. Right. He's very masculine. My son, like, he beats guys' faces in. Right. Like, he would be considered toxic masculinity, but he cries.

Like, if you tell him he has to do math homework, dude. Oh, my gosh even today throw down crying like he doesn't have to do that anymore because he's 26 back in the day oh my gosh but if you tell him like there are certain things like he's not afraid to shed some tears god bless but but people would consider that that's crazy that is crazy yeah cuz Jeff is one of the nicest like he takes great care of you yeah yeah I don't know guys his crier is broken mine is too Jeff okay I don't cry I don't see the need you know what I forgot I was going to say. He was homeless

at one point and lives in an abandoned building. There's not a lot of things I know, like what makes you cry at that point? That will make you cry

at this point. The littlest things I complain about, he's like, Vanessa, I was once homeless. We will make it through. Great point.

I mean, it isn't a terrible point. Listen, once you've been homeless, you can make it through. Great point. I mean, it isn't a terrible point. Listen, once you've been homeless, you can make it through anything. Absolutely. I love that. What a great perspective. Oh, yeah. That's like when Galina, she sends me all these memes all the time, or all these videos all the time about like Ukrainian

and Russian and like their parents saying like, you think that you have anxiety? But it's true. Like when you've lived a certain lifestyle, like these things wouldn't even come across your brain to be like this is toxic masculinity when you're dealing with like- Reality.

Real reality. They're just bored. I mean, I grew up in a trailer in the middle of the state of Florida with no air condition. I can't even imagine. Until I was 10. I literally had no air condition. How do you sleep?

Like I'd rather have been homeless in New York City. Okay. Peeing in some ground, you know, hole in the ground. No, but like how do you sleep? How do you sleep when it's hot?

Let me just tell you. Do you like cross and turn all night? Yes. Yeah. It's hot as crap. My mother would set us up. Yeah. The's hard as crap. My mother would set us up, the saint that she is, she literally would set us up with a wet washcloth. Oh.

A cold, wet washcloth. That's a good one. Yeah. And then you toss and turn all night. But think about this. I mean, that's all we could do. That's all we could afford. I know, right.

And so think about this. She had to clean the house in that. She was in that all day long. I went to school. There was air condition. Oh, okay. She had to, we had no, we had a washer, but we didn't have a dryer. And it was one of those ringing ones.

Like, you didn't have to crank it but like you put the stuff in the basin and then this is aging me but like you had to put it in and she had this in our barn and you like ran it through the little squishy thingies the two rollers and then and then you wash it and then you fill the thing up with clean water you rinse everything off you do it all over again then you have to hang everything up like like if you have to like if you have to live in reality like people that have had to grow up in the depression right okay they know like real world first, third world problems, right? So it's like, I don't know. For me, like this nonsense is nonsense.

Like for us to be talking about this kind of, like when you really think about it, it's just the craziest thing ever on the face of the earth. Like, and most people are not, I'm not saying, I'm not saying that, I know that there's Christians out there, that men that are Christians that aren't that great,

but I know there are a lot of women out there that are Christians. They ain't that great. Right, right. So what, where's the line? Yeah. Why are we,

I don't know. Benevolent sexism is what? An oxymoron, right? But it's true. When men advance a favorable or alternate attitude toward women, typically it's rooted in toxicity. It's nuts to me. Who raised him?

So they're going to blame, what's his dad like? Men learn behaviors from their fathers. So however their fathers deal with emotions is most likely how they've learned to blame um what's his dad like men learn behaviors from their fathers so however their fathers deal with emotions is most likely how they've learned to handle theirs okay well let me just tell you most the world is blended and there are a lot of people that are being brought up by just their mamas and their dads are not present so what's their excuse right yep but those same men can be toxic in their masculinity right they grew up and from their moms brought them up so what's their excuse right what is the excuse let's go i'm going to go

okay so i'm going to skip a little bit because i i want to catch us up what are considered exaggerated masculine traits some examples of toxic masculinity include dominance men whose violence control and dominance to assert their power and superiority okay most i mean i was gonna say something i don't know if it's very nice, so I might. But, I mean, like, you have to be married. You have to be married to, like, a weak individual who's going to put up with that crap.

Think about that. Like, even Vanessa. Oh, my gosh. Sharing the mic. Even Vanessa went and put up with that crap. Do you know what I'm saying? Vanessa, who is probably one of the nicest, meekest individuals that I know. If someone tried to like put her under their thumb,

even Vanessa is going to be like, women today don't put up with crap. True, true. So I would just love to know, who is this happening to? Because I don't know very many women, and I'm a submissive woman, and how our house is run is like the priest runs a home. But even me,

like if Tom became toxic in his masculinity, even I'd be like, step back, brother. Not today. It's not happening. And the man could squish me. But I'm not putting up with that.

It's not that. It's the woman who runs the house and she's not doing. Fighting for power. Fighting. And she's not doing her womanly duties. And so he's like, I'll do whatever you want. Like, if I've got to sit on the bathroom floor and cry. She must be a real you know what.

It is. That's a good point. It is. Because that's what it always comes back to. It always comes back to the women that are running. They're fighting for control. And they use intimacy as a weapon. As a tool.

As a weapon. Yeah. That if you don't. If you don't do X, Y, and Z, well, we can't get busy at night. Right. Because I can't bring this toxic masculinity into the bedroom. Right. Because you can see it.

I don't feel safe. Look it. You can see it. What is she wearing? i'm not trying to be mean but like what is she what is she wearing i can't tell it looks like a wrestling outfit it looks like a wrestling outfit but this looks like somebody that would say like if you don't prove to me that you are sensitive and can cry like then I can't be intimate with you. And like, do you see because I've never heard of this, girls. Right. Do you see these women that are

talking about this? Are they the ones trying to run the show in their marriage? And so they're using this as a means to an end to do that? You know what's hard is like, this is my circle is Foundation Church. Like when you see it on tech talk though. Yeah. Okay. So I know this one, this one that I, we found, I wasn't able to go to her thing. Um, it's somebody making fun of this is the screenshot that I have. So I, I don't know, but like when I do see it, I I'm just like,

this is so, this is so stupid. And then you just, yeah, it doesn't grab my attention, but I have seen it. Um, but it makes sense to me that like, that's how, how would you get your husband to sit on the ground and record it and then post it? Like, like Jay would be like, what are you doing? Like, can you imagine how the tripod like set up? There is. And like you said, then she's got to go home or she's going to go in the other room and edit it make sure it looks the way she wants and then he knowing he knows it was posted like that's so embarrassing i agree with the question like that's humiliating that's like no that's so this isn't like okay um see i don't even know how to

answer this question other than to say like this is women wanting to run their homes. Yeah. It's really not that men are toxic. Because I'm, like, trying to figure out what men are. Who are these men? But it's really not. But I think that's good because you said we did the recap. And you said, like, these men that I just described are in jail.

They're abusive. So it's a good like click in the brain. Like is your husband really toxic? Is he is his masculinity really toxic or is he just masculine? And it's OK that he doesn't cry over every Hallmark movie. Like why does why do you want them to be a girl? Like why do you want them to have girl traits? Sorry if Tom's watching. No, and Jer, sorry, I love you. No, but why are you fighting for it? But here's the thing, Tom would tell you, in our marriage, when it comes to certain things,

he's just more like a girl in that, and I'm more like a guy in that. And it doesn't mean, again, he is the priest of our home, he runs our home. I get a say. I have a voice. And as long as I am respectful in how I talk, and he's almost always, like, it is a rare, rare thing. I can't even think of maybe twice, maybe three times in our whole marriage that we haven't spoken respectfully to one another.

So, like, on the whole, and that's 28 years of marriage. So it's pretty like, I just, I mean, I think you can voice your opinion and do it in a biblical way and still have a say. Right. As long as both parties are like honoring one another. I just don't get it. And the guy could still be more sensitive than the woman and still be

masculine. Right. I know. I know. And, but it's okay if they're not like, it doesn't make them toxic because they're not crying. Like it's okay.

Yeah. Yeah. It's the weirdest thing. It is weird. I mean, like I said, like before, what about women who have PMS? Mm-hmm. True.

And act like raving maniacs. Right. That's toxic. It's very toxic. Could you imagine if the tables were turned? Yeah. And he was doing this with his wife? Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh. Can you imagine? Could you imagine the uproar? It would be toxic masculinity. That would be toxic masculinity. But no, it's true. It's so true's true like some things are okay yeah considered in the world right and then other things is that's demeaning that's deplorable how could you do that to her it's just they use it as an excuse for like if they did something wrong and he's not like you know like she's crying and he's not crying and like she feels like they just use that as an

excuse for their issues. You know what I mean? Like women. Yeah. It's like projecting. You're just toxic. Like it's not me. It's you.

Yeah. They can't be wrong. Yep. Yep. I think so too. Using arguments a lot. So interesting. Yeah.

It's sickening though. It's super sickening. This is like, um, it, in some ways and in, form, it's evil. It is. Absolutely. Because it's breaking what like masculinity is a beautiful thing. It's great. It's wonderful. Thank God. It's breaking down what God created. And now you're adding this nasty word to it. And so that's why I love that we're talking about this, because sometimes it's easy to like get caught up in things because you can like see half truths. Like, yeah, that's true.

Sometimes masculinity can be toxic if they do things to end up in jail. So then you kind of group them in and like, oh yeah, my husband doesn't ever cry. Oh yeah. Like you could read that list that we had up and like kind of see half truths in it. Like, oh, my husband, yeah, that's true. My husband doesn't show emotion. Maybe he is toxic. Like maybe I'm missing this. So I'm glad we're talking about it. Yeah. But you know, you know what it comes to, to what comes to mind is my son was telling me that they've done studies about women and it seems to be the same kind of men get women. Women only want a certain kind of man. Okay. And if he doesn't fit that bill, you know, then like men are complaining because women don't really want to date.

I'm going to, this is, this is, okay. So power is one of them. Okay. So power, men are worthy only if they have money, power, status, and influence. Okay. That's one of the things that is listed on this. That's toxic masculinity. Get this though. Women, this is such, it's, it's like women libers who want men to do certain things, but they can't do other things. And it's like, well, where do I draw the line? Right. Like we have created where men don't even know what they can and cannot do um because we're hypocritical in one area but it's okay in another area for example okay we say that about men but i was doing some research and jordan peterson he had

he has this youtube about what um what's it called here's what women look for in men oh okay okay it was very interesting okay this is part of my research this was very interesting when i when i saw it he said that men watch visual pornography but women prefer literary pornography have i not said that wow have i not said that yep yep now women prefer literary pornography. Have I not said that? Wow. Have I not said that? Yep. Yep. Now women do watch pornography and it's actually been said that there are more women that watch porn now than men. Wow. Believe it or not. I don't know how true that is, but they're saying, well, let's just say even so, if women aren't watching it as much as men, the numbers are showing that it's somewhat close, but women,

growing up, I used to see women reading those Harlequin romances, and then it went to Harlequin, and like all these other novels. Like just what, it became so popular for that one industry or this one company that people started catching on. Oh, I can write that. That's scum.

And so lots of people started writing that porn. But this is what they found. This is what was found. Women preferred five different types of leading men for their sexual literature. Now, what is this person, this man is saying toxic masculinity. I went through a list of different things

that were toxic masculinity, right? But get this. This is the books that sold the most where the men were these types of characters pirate billionaire surgeon werewolf and vampire that's what women bought more books about that's are are women really are really women thinking that men are toxic toxically masculine? Or is this trans man selling a bill of goods to a bunch of women that want to run their home?

And most women are okay. It's like the squeaky wheel. Really, there are not that many trans. There's not that many homosexuals. But society would say there's way more of them than there really is because the squeaky wheel gets gets paid attention to. But really, the statistics show they're small in numbers, but they make it seem like they're bigger than what they are. Statistically speaking, this is what I think is happening here. And I think it's a bunch of women who want to run their home.

And you just helped me big time with figuring part of that out. Thank you for that. Okay. So he says, if that's the case, is toxic masculinity for real? Because sexual entitlement, men have a sense of sexual entitlement, this says. Well, here's the thing about that. God made them sexual creatures. Women by nature are not sexual creatures. We are, but our thought process is not the same. We are not visual creatures. We're more about like being endeared,

needing to have, being feeling like we can depend on somebody. We're nurturers. Like, you know, for me, it's like if, like some women who have small children, the last thing they want their husband to do is come and start touching them at the end of the day because you're like, I've been touched so much. Stop, please stop.

Please stop. I can't do it. But if that husband was to say some beautiful things about that person or that wife and shower them with what's true and how they really feel, that bedroom door is open wide. Or, right? Hey, how about I give the kids a bath tonight and you have a moment? Yeah. Yeah, you go and get a cup of coffee and relax.

I don't really want to see my head but see what women will do is you know what turns me on is when i see you um vacuuming the floor no sorry i mean that's to me some people yeah well for me your love language is acts of service hey there's other acts there are definitely some other acts like for me i don't really think i think seeing a man vacuum a floor is very feminine it does not turn me on at all i don't want to see a man did you say utah definitely not yeah for me ew yuck i don't want to see a guy vacuuming the floor i don't want to like having a sponge wiping the kitchen counters off, throwing a load of laundry in. For me, that's very feminine. That's a woman's job.

I want to see my husband doing man's work, lifting things, like saying, no, no, no, that's too heavy for you. Give it to me. Or like Vanessa said, that when the jar, you can't open the jar, you take it to him, he gets it for you. That's me or like Vanessa said that when the jar you can't open the jar you take it to him he gets it for you that's masculine I'll do it like I mean Tom did take the kids and he did put them in the tub and he did play with them and things like that but that wasn't a turn-on for me that was like oh god thank you Jesus for a break so but him after like i'll be honest with you like my kids pawing at me all day i didn't want to be pawed at when i he came home but say kind sweet loving things to me like how you appreciate me or just that i'm beautiful and my hair looks like it's never been brushed all day

long and i have bedhead still and you say i'm beautiful like okay let's take off our clothes let's go like hello i know her love language your love language is uh words of affirmation well only in those moments yeah because i don't really yeah because there's no act of service he could do i mean it's quality time i know for the most part i know for me i do appreciate it you need that like appreciate that warm up of affirmation because I don't really care. Like Jared's like, you're so beautiful. And I'm like, thank you. Like I don't, it just words aren't it for me. Like, I'm just like, thank you. Like, that's so sweet. And I go vacuum the floor. No, I'm just joking. I'm just joking. I'm totally joking.

No, but like, like taking something off my plate would like mean a lot to me. Cause to me, if you take something off my plate, you care about like that. I'm not doing this till 11 o'clock at night. And then you're like, Hey, come on, let's go. Like next thing, next thing on the list, you know? So if you're taking something off my list, it shows that like, okay, I care about her that she won't have to do like one more thing before bed. Um, but yeah, but like, I, yeah, you've got to find out like what it is that that speaks your love language or what what pleases the other yes exactly yes that but I just really I just really don't think I think this is a load of hooey it

is a load of hooey it is it's people that have too much time on their hand maybe you need a part-time job or somebody who's desperate and nobody wants them you know what else it could be i think a lot of people aren't happy in their marriage and so they're trying to find a way out and by taking the masculinity out of their husband try well then it's like see you won't do this for me like you don't love me because you won't sit on the floor and cry i don't think this is going to work for me because most people aren't christians so they're finding a way to leave their husband because they're bored and, or they don't want to be in this marriage anymore. A hundred percent. Cause nobody's like fighting for their, who's fighting for their marriage. I know so many people getting divorced that it's just, yeah, it's, this is an

opportunity to try something and it might not be all the time, but there's an opportunity to be like, I need, I need a reason why. And if you go to your girlfriends and you're like, you don't understand, he's so toxic to me. He treats me this way. And like, he just, he never is emotional with me. And you know, blah, blah, blah. You get your little team together. And then they're like, yeah, you deserve better. You need somebody that will listen to you and talk to you. Cause this is not like the Christian community that's doing this yet. Hopefully not. That's why we talk about it.

But I do. I wonder if it's just another reason to find something that you don't like about your husband and then you magnify it. I mean, there are men that are like this. Of course there are. And there are women like this. But here's the thing.

Yeah. But I'm just saying, like, on the whole, it's not like that. No, it's not. But here's the thing. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I'm just saying like on the whole. Yeah. It's not like that. No, it's not. And if your husband's like that, do you really want him crying on the floor with you? You want him to stay masculine, but get rid of the toxicity. Right.

Like you said in the beginning, the beginning was perfect. It's not the masculinity. It's what what's the unresolved issue? The sin. There's probably sin. There's probably or something leading to sin. It's close. It's the's the unresolved issue? The sin. There's probably sin. There's probably or something leading to sin. It's close. It's the gray area.

And it needs to go. I'm just telling you, a lot of times for people, the reason they become hateful in a relationship, it's because there's a void in their life. 100%. And they have found something that they think would please them better. Greener pastures, whatever that is. They think that if they had that, then everything else would be solved.

Yes. So they become toxic towards you. But this isn't the masculinity. Right. It's just they have anger issues because they're not satisfied within themselves. Right. And they're a man. So they're going to be masculine.

It just so happens to be. But again, what's the excuse for women because there are women who have pms and they've given them all kinds of little initials to validate you can be ugly as sin right that's it the validation yep and for me it's like if you're a christian especially you have no rights to treat anybody even if you're going through PMS and people say you don't know my hormones bullcrap like get them under control yeah because you're talking to a person that literally would throw up when they were having their cycle I could throw up because the pain was so bad like when I was in labor and I was like five centimeters five and six

centimeters that's what my period felt like so I'm like so when I got pregnant and I started to go into labor I was like oh at least I get a break because they would come and they would go because when you have your cycle it's there all the time and I never behaved like that I didn't allow myself to be ugly to tom because i was in severe pain where my legs were like i just wanted to like oh yeah i didn't do that yeah so i don't care what anybody says no matter the pain no matter your hormones you can control you yes you can everybody can it's a decision you make are you going to allow your flesh to overcome your behavior and act Christ-like or be a hateful human being? Give yourself as many initials as you want. At the end of the day,

when you go to heaven, you're going to be held accountable for your behavior. He's not going to go, oh, you had those initials behind you? Oh, I get it. It's okay. It's going to go, no, sorry, but you're accountable for how you behave while you're on this earth. So knock it off. Men and women. So what they say is they are emotionally illiterate. What is emotionally illiterate? Illiteracy refers to a lack of ability to understand, identify, and effectively manage one's emotions,

often leading to difficulties in understanding the emotions of others as well. Essentially, it means being unable to read and respond appropriately to your feelings and those of others around you. I've never met a flippant man who can read a woman to begin with, who's not toxic. Facts. Like, men aren't going to read women. You know why? Because they don't get us.

Yeah. Because they have a different brain. They're not women. I don't want them to read women. You know why? Because they don't get us. Because they have a different brain. They're not women. I don't want them to read me because then I'm in a lesbian relationship. You know, that's what Steffi just said. She said that in her old circle of friends when

she was younger, a lot of them would break their husbands or boyfriends and get bored because they're too wishy-washy and they move on to a more masculine guy afterwards. Yeah. Oh, i totally agree with that like when the girls go to bars they're not dating the guy that is like the nice guy they're finding the bad boy looking for the hot one yeah exactly i mean a little tough they're not looking for the one that'll be a great friend. They're looking for the one. Right. Yeah.

So this is bull crap. It is. It really is. People have been shammed. They have been. Like, unless you're a woman. I mean, not this one, because this ain't a woman. Shammed by you.

You were shammed by this person. This man right here. This man. And he's major facial surgery and a new hairdo. He's like 80 years old. Is he for real? Yeah.

Because it's back in the 80s and 90s when he tried to make this a big thing. Which is bizarre because I wonder if in the 80s and 90s he must have been a man when he did this. Because it said that he transitioned later in life. Yeah, he had to have been that's that's crazy so a man made toxic masculinity and then transitioned to a female listen to him you're dumb you're dumb as a box of rocks if you listen to that guy you gotta

it's time to repent so toxic masculinity is seen in advertising pop culture and social media where where the crap is that scene because i'm telling you right now everything that i see So toxic masculinity is seen in advertising, pop culture, and social media. Where? Where the crap is that seen? Because I'm telling you right now, everything that I see make men look stupid, weak. Yep, true. And I think of one show that I used to hate to watch, but I actually like the show because it's somewhat clean.

But everybody loves Raymond. He kind of gave it back to her. What I keep Deborah was the wife, but Ray Ray was always made to look stupid by her. And I, and, but so many comedies, that's what they do.

They make men look dumb. That's the purpose behind them. Like they can't think for themselves. Thank God they have a wife or a woman who can lead them and guide them through the ring in the nose to wherever they need to go because they can't they can't find their way through nothing without it like a paper bag. Like they get lost in there. Right. I mean, I've never seen where any advertising of any kind toxic masculinity is OK.

I don't either. I can't think of anything. Yeah, I'm trying or i've never seen any show any movie any like commercial with toxic masculinity and that everybody was applauding it or everybody thought it was great i've never seen i've seen other right yeah i've never seen one yeah agree with anything like recently like newer stuff that maybe we didn't see that they applauded it like it's toxic masculinity but people are like oh that was really good I've never seen one. Yeah. Do you have anything like recently, like newer stuff that maybe we didn't see? That they applauded it,

like it's toxic masculinity, but people are like, oh, that was really good. No. Okay. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. I don't know.

They say that some factors that can contribute to toxic masculinity include dysfunctional family environment, exposure to social norms that encourage violence and male dominance, exposure to violence at home and relationships in the community, lack of access to mental health services, lack of behavioral control, and social rejection by peers. Okay, guess what? You know what? I'm telling you right now that all of those things I do agree with, that they can create

a toxic environment which can create a toxic individual, not just men, but women. But who wouldn't be affected by those things? And what are the statistics of that? Very small, I bet you. I would say it's less than 10% of men, maybe 20% of men or less that are toxic in their masculinity. And so we're going to do all of this for 10% less of men. I just don't, at the end of the day, if you want to do this, women, if you want to have your man sit in the bathroom and cry, get a woman that has a penis and have a field day.

Cause that's what you really did. That's what you married. True. I mean, have at it. Let's look at what roles from men and women are in the Bible because that's truly what matters. What are men's roles in the Bible? What are women's roles in the Bible? And that's what we apply here. If you are a woman that's a godly woman and you subscribe to all of that, shame on you. You should never want to change who you're married to to make him more feminine. You should never want to do that. And if he's got something in his life that needs to be changed, maybe he's got anger issues or whatever. That's not because he's masculine. That's because there's a root in there that you need to sit, pray, be an example, talk calmly,

responsibly, reasonably honoring to that individual and say, you know what? I don't like this. What do we got to do to make this not happen in our marriage? and then you apply fasting and praying you apply the word then you get in there and you worship together okay and see what God does because he's the only one that can change the heart he'll root that sucker out for you first Timothy 5 8 I love what the Amplified says if anyone fails to provide for his relatives and especially for those of his family he is disowned the faith by failing to accompany with fruits and is worse than an unbeliever who performs his obligation in these matters. Love a man that doesn't work. I don't. Like, it's your job to provide for your family. Even if your

wife makes more than you, it's your job still to get a job, to have a job and to work. Men that don't work and provide for their family, shame on you. And I love the man that doesn't work but comes to church and then tries to act like he is the spiritual godly man and wants to give people correction or tell them how to live their lives or what they should and shouldn't do or has a critical heart and critical mind. You can see him coming a mile away. We have them in this church. And I just want to say, shut your mouth, go get a job,

and then you can tell people about how they should be this and they should be that. Work on you first. That's the problem. You got no job, so you're looking at everybody else. Get a job because you're worse than an unbeliever. That's what the word says. So, but it's always so funny. Some of these, some of these men want to tell you about you, but they, but they don't even provide for their

own household. So it's way easier for you to look at somebody else when you really should be looking at you. You need to do a lot of this and a whole lot of working. Drives me nuts. Ephesians 6, 4. So men, first thing you should do is be working. You should be providing for your family. This is men's jobs. This is what a man looks like that has a family. Ephesians 6, 4 says, fathers, do not irritate and provoke your children to anger. Do not exasperate them to resentment, but rear them tenderly in training and discipline and the counsel and admonition of the Lord. So you don't enrage your children. And you can discipline them without provoking and irritating them.

There is a way to do that. If you don't, then you're going to raise a child that's got anger issues. So discipline them the correct way. You don't provoke them to anger when you're disciplining them. And you know what? There are kids that have anger issues, but again, it's not because they're toxically masculine. It's because you raised them wrong and now they have anger issues. But that's not because they're masculine. It's because they have anger issues. Colossians 3.19 says, Husbands, love your wives.

Be affectionate and sympathetic with them, and do not be harsh or bitter or resentful toward them. I think that a lot of marriages, if the husband did that, but the wife did it in return, holy crap, they would thrive. But most marriages, people don't care a bit about what they say to one another. Whatever's in here is coming out of here. How about you take what the Word of God says, be slow to speak, slow to be angry.

That's what Proverbs says. Slow to speak, slow to be angry. That's what Proverbs says. Slow to speak, slow to be angry. Because if you do that, you will be affectionate and sympathetic. And you won't say harsh, bitter, and disrespectful things to your spouse. Ephesians 5.25 says, husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church, and he gave himself up for her. So be willing to die for her. Ephesians 5.33 says, however, let each man of you without exception. So no one can say, he's not talking to me. It says without exception. So everybody, every man, this applies to, love his wife, because a lot of guys will say, well, you don't know my wife. Without exception, this is even you. Love his wife as being, in a sense, his very own self.

So love her as much as you love you. And I know a lot of people love themselves, men and women alike. I'm one of them. I love me. But my job is to love Tom as much as myself. But it's not said, and I do, but men is what it's being said to. Men, you're to love your wife as much as you love yourself. And let the wife see that she respects and reveres or references her husband,

that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates and esteems him, and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly. You'll have a successful marriage if you do those things. What happens is a lot of people get married way too fast. They don't know what their role is. So then they end up not really being happy with who they married because they didn't really know who they married. And now for them to have to do all those things to a person that they don't

like anymore, that if they would have dated them a little bit longer, they would have found out this ain't no match. But you're going to have to do that even though you're not a match anymore. And then you'll fall in love and God will help you through the process. But that's your job. And a lot of couples, they don't do those things that I just answered. You literally need to write Ephesians 533 Amplified Classic. And you need to do that. And if you're not doing it, start doing it. It'll save you from a lot of fights, a lot of anger.

And you'll have a marriage that your kids sit there and go, I want that when I get older. Instead of the other. Proverbs 31, 10 through 31, these are all Amplified Classics, says a capable, intelligent, and this is Proverbs 31, 10 through 31. So woman, this is for you. A capable, intelligent, and virtuous woman, who is he who can find her her we should be one of the ones that are found she is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls this should be us ladies this should be us the heart of her husband and so when you hear these things

let me just recap what i'm about to say all of this would not be a woman who is asking her husband to sit down in the bathroom and forcing him to cry and say he is not masculine. Okay. This woman, Proverbs 31 woman, has no business and would never even want that from her husband. The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely so that he has no lack of honest gain or need of dishonest spoil. She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her. She seeks out wool and flax and works with willing hands to develop it. She is like the merchant ships loaded with foodstuffs. She brings her household's food from a far country.

She rises while it is yet night and gets spiritual food, which means she's in her word, spiritual food for her household, and assigns her maids their tasks. She considers a new field before she buys or accepts it, so she's a businesswoman. Expanding prudently and not courting neglect of her present duties by assuming other duties.

So she does what her duties are and then if there's something else, she'll take care of it. But she only focuses on her current tasks at hand and she doesn't put anything in front of those. With her savings of time and strength, she plants fruitful vines in her vineyard. She girds herself with strength,

spiritual, mental, and physical fitness for her God-given task. That's super important. And one of the things that I have really come to know is your spiritual, like for a lot of us, we know where to be in the word. That's a given. But do we do it?

You should be. There should be a time set aside every single day that you are in the word. So you're spiritually gaining in strength. And that time that you spend in the word will help you mentally. Okay, so because there's so many people that suffer mental issues

like depression, anxiety, and things like that, which I believe the phone has not helped in any way, shape, or form. But physical fitness is huge, which also helps with your mental side of things, with the endorphins and everything else. So you need to be reading your word. You need to be spending time taking care of yourself physically as well. Like go to the gym, walk outside your door, wear a weighted vest like Vanessa does when she walks. I just saw

some dingbat like you walking down 41 the other day with her weighted vest. I went, oh, there's Vanessa and her weighted vest. Okay. Yeah. Like that's important. Vanessa, how, how many, you're up at what time in the morning? I'm going to use a Vanessa as an example. Perfect example. At five 30. Cause my whole family goes to the gym. Okay. So you're up at five 30. Yeah. Okay. And what did, what does your morning look like? I get up and I grab a cup of coffee and I open my word. And how long are you in the word? I don't think I've ever timed myself, but at least an hour. Okay. Yeah. And then you go to the gym and then I put on my on my stretch pants. Weighted vest. Weighted vest. And I walk out the door. And I will walk about four.

I aim for five miles. Sometimes I do it. But sometimes it ends at four miles. And here's the thing. For me, when my kids were small, I used to walk, put them in the stroller, and I would go for a walk. Now, listen. I've never been a person where I had muscle in my body

because I went to the gym and lifted weights. But I was a person that actually did go for walks and did exercise in that way. But consistency was, I cannot say I was consistent, but I did do it. But just because I didn't do it doesn't mean that it's not something you should be doing. And when I get up at 6.30 in the morning, almost every morning, 6.30, I spend time in the Word, then I head to the gym. That's what you should be doing. Or if you're not a morning person, which I get, make sure you're hitting it at night. And make sure that your family sees you, especially if you're small children,

make sure they see you reading that word. It's valuable. You're training them to understand it. But if you're, there's a reason why, why, while it says she girds herself with strength and that strength, when you look at that word broken down in the biblical sense, it meant spiritual, mental, and physical fitness for her God-given tasks. That's what that meant, that word strength. And the amplified, meaning it expounds on words so you understand them. That's what that meant. It makes her arms strong and firm.

I'm working on that. Yes, you are. She tastes and sees that her gain from work with and for God is good. Her lamp goes not out, but it burns on continually through the night of trouble, preservation, or sorrow, warning away fear, doubt, and distrust. She spends time in prayer. We as women, that's our job. A man's job is tough.

A godly man, a priest of the home, he's got to lay his life down for you and your kids, but mainly you. It doesn't say for his children, but obviously if he's laying them down for you, he's going to lay them down for his family. But he has to die for you. These are the things. We not having to be nasty die we're just asking to do physical things do you know i'm saying it's

to me i can do that yeah she lays her hands to the spindle and hands hold the staff she opens her hand to the port yes she reaches out her filled hands to the needy whether in body mind or spirit she fears not the snow for her family, for all her household are doubly clothed in scarlet. So when it gets cold, everybody's warm. She makes for herself, because she's prepared, and that's what that's talking about. She makes for herself coverlets,

cushions, and rugs of tapestry. Her clothing is of linen, pure and fine, and of purple, such as that of which the clothing of the priest and the hallowed cloths of the temple were made. Her husband is known in the city gates, Amen. I would love that. Love it. And her position is strong and secure.

I mean, so many people are weak. Like that verse, I would love for that to be me. Strength and dignity are clothing and her position is strong and secure. She rejoices over the future, the latter day or time to come, knowing that she and her family are in readiness for it. That's me. Like, that's what I want to be. She opens her mouth in skillful and godly wisdom,

and on her tongue is the law of kindness, giving counsel and instruction. She looks well to how things go in her household, and the bread of idleness, gossip. Idleness is gossip, discontent, and self-pity. Shut our mouths. Women, that's what it's saying to us because we talk way too much and she will not eat she does not partake in that that's what it's saying her

children rise up and call her blessed happy fortunate and to be envied and her husband boasts of and praises her saying many daughters have done virtuously nobly nobly and well with the strength of character that is steadfast in goodness, but you excel them all. I would love it if Tom said that about me. That's good. Oh my gosh. Charm and grace are deceptive and beauty is vain because it is not lasting. But a woman who reverently and worshipfully fears the Lord,

she shall be praised. Women, oh, let this be us. Give her of the fruit of her hands and let her own works praise her in the gates of the city. If you are the Proverbs 31 woman, how in the world are you asking your husband to do that very thing? And I know a lot of women that are Christians that are control freaks and want to run their home. They want to run their children. Like they control every aspect of that family. What part of that Proverbs 30 woman looks like that?

I mean, she's very balanced. She does a lot of things in the home, but she is not the priest of the home. It's very clear that she's not. So no woman that's a godly woman is going to be trying to take toxic masculinity out of her husband because she's going to know the very masculine traits that he has are the ones that God gave him and those need to stay. Anything that is not of God needs to be eradicated. But that doesn't mean it's because he's masculine.

That means because there's sin in the life of that individual. And it just needs to be taken out. Before I go to sponsors, ladies, that's a lot of talking. Anything? No, that was good. I'm glad you started with the beginning part where that it let's just because people are like well people are toxic so the fact that you started with like it's not the masculinity it's the sin there I think that'll give people things to chew on um and not just

in this case but if any time an issue comes up is it really because we're women or because we're men or is it they're a deeper rooted sin issue stop just like labeling something because it's easy yeah or it's out there and everybody else is talking Stop just like labeling something because it's easy. Yeah. Or it's out there and everybody else is talking about it. All right. And it justifies your bad behavior that you want to put onto your husband. Yeah, that too.

It justifies your bad behavior. And anybody that's doing big things, like any women that like have a good group of women around them or doing really big things, this is so yucky to them. So if you want to have a good group of women and you want to be doing really big things for God, this you can't get caught up in this stuff no you can't so i've not i've seen a lot of preachers wives that are co-pastoring with their husbands they vie for position so through that process they try and control even the husband. They try and, and that's not good.

I mean, they actually run the home and you can see it. There's pastors that I love to, it's not Pastor Rodney or Jonathan. They definitely run their homes. There's no mistaking that. But there's other pastors that I love to listen to and I've watched. And literally, they will tell you if mama ain't happy, the whole house ain't happy. That is not biblical. That's actually opposite of what the Word says. And I'm not saying you shouldn't listen to them, but they're out of order in that. So, and it ain't Kenneth Hagin, because Kenneth Hagin ran his home too. But there are men that literally allow their wives to run their household. And if

you're wanting that, lady, you are out of order. 100%. You need to fix yourself so your husband and your husband needs to fix himself and you'll have a happy, happy Christ-like home because you're going to answer for it when you go to heaven. And that's the truth. Your behavior is what you will answer to. And one of the things that I don't want to answer to is being an out of order woman in my home and making sure that when I go before the Lord, I say to him, you know what? I may have failed sometimes, but on the whole, my husband, he made the decisions. I submitted to them. And the way that I submitted to them was in an order. It is in the rule of law of how the word of God says that I should have. With a very, the heart behind it was one of kindness and honoring to my husband.

Not where I was fighting him tooth and nail the whole entire time. He had to stand and make a decision. And again, you'll answer to how you submit. It's like fasting. If you fast wrong, if you're going to be angry and ugly, don't fast. And if you are going to submit angry and ugly, you're not really submitting. So what's the point? You're making it very difficult for your husband to be the priest of the home make it so it's easy for him so let's do our sponsoring gloria killer and the real estate appraisal associates of southwest florida has been in business since 2005 she is a florida state certified residential appraisal and has been for 24 years with three locations like wood

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Hot dog. So whoever answered that question, I hope I didn't ruin you That was a longie. We did it. Hot dog. So whoever answered that question, I hope I didn't ruin you and hope that you may have been like, yes! Now he's got to do what I tell him to do. No, he doesn't. I hope so. No, he doesn't. Make sure it ain't you.

That's all I'm going to say. Be praying for our husbands. Women, I have a lot of men watch. So women, we should be praying for our husbands. Like women, if this, I will have a lot of men watch. So women, we should be praying for our husbands. They got a tough job. I don't care what anybody says. They got a tough, tough job, especially in the world we live in, where being the man of your home is looked down upon in a big, big way. And women make it easy for men to want

to take that role on. Don't fight them through the process. Help rise them up or raise them up. That's the right way to say it. Help raise them up and give them honor. And they may miss it and they may fail. But so do you. I mean, so do you. So grace where grace is due. And let's just like build each other up and let's support one another to be the best godly men and women we can possibly be. We're a team, man.

When you're married, you're a team. And you should stick together like glue. And there should be no other relationship that you have that you should guard and protect with your life outside of the marital one. There should be no one that you stand up for more, and there should be nobody that you want to guard and protect more. I'm not saying you lie about them, but I am saying to you is you speak life of them, and you make sure that they go as far as God wants to take them. Especially women.

We are the backbone. We are that support beam for our husbands. And we can help them go so far, spiritually speaking. And when they go, they take you with them. So make sure that we're doing that. But again, guard that marital relationship with everything you have. And if there is some toxic stuff going on in your marriage, you got God. He can fix anything.

Pray it through. Be the example, whether it's the wife or whether it's the man. Pray it through. Fast for them and seek out work. Satan, it would please him nothing more. John 10.10, he comes to kill, steal, and destroy. He would do nothing more than what he can to destroy your marriage.

But fight for everything you got and put it in God's hands and you do your part in what the word says and see it turn around. Because it will. He is faithful. If we are faithful, he is faithful. So remember that.

And if you made a commitment and a vow and a covenant with somebody, do it to the death. That's what I say. You married him for a reason and you're stuck. Make it be good and stuck. Make it be that you're happy and stuck. So we will see you on Friday and thank you for tuning in. Bye.