The Hope Hotline - The Loyalty Test: Love or Validation?

Episode Date: June 10, 2026

The Hope Hotline | S04-E33 | 06-10-2026

Hello and welcome to the Hope Hotline. If you are on anything but Rumble, Facebook, well, that's it really, or you two. We're experiencing technical difficulties on those two platforms. So tell your friends go to Rumble. I mean, really, well, what the what? There we go. I saw something you didn't say. But like who really watches us on Facebook?

Does it hardly anybody watch us on Facebook because we're so shadow band? I don't know, but most everybody watches this on Rumble. So welcome. We're welcome. We're good. It's just Aaron's remoting in right now, so I can't do anything. God bless that man. Yeah, he's trying to fix Facebook press.

That's wild. Well, to be, not that I don't appreciate Facebook, but to be perfectly honest with you, out of all of them, if we're going to lose one, it could be that one because they hate me. They hate our church. They hate the whole entire. you know, whatever. Do we even have anybody who watches us on Rumble? I mean, on Facebook? Yeah, yeah. We do? Yeah. Like how many people? Four? I mean, two.

Yeah, sometimes eight. That's shocking. I know. I mean, we're... 22,000 people that follow us. You know how I feel about that. Yeah. How can that be real? But, yeah. How can that be real? It's so silly. It's so silly. But you know what I find, well, I find weird. is like I looked up Facebook. I looked on Foundation Church Facebook for the service on Sunday and it's not that great of numbers in comparison to what we have but

like I was shocked to see as many people as we did that watch live because most people won't watch live anyway and Facebook's numbers usually aren't that great but if you look at the comments how many people watch in the comments that's shocking. True. Yeah. No, you're right. So thank you if you are watching us on Facebook in general

Foundation Church Yeah At least it's something So we can't do What I was going to do Because he's working I think he's done He just pushed go live on Facebook

Everything's green Yeah it literally went red And then Rumble on YouTube Went green And then I think Hope had to Or hope I have too many voices

Aaron You had to restart Yeah We got to learn How to do that So we don't have to bother them Well, I know how to do that. But it was completely red.

And the restreamer wasn't even showing anything at all. Oh, that's weird. I've never seen it. Like, I should have taken a screenshot so I could have showed him, but it popped back up. So I know how to do what he did. I just, I panic because we had like 32 seconds to go live. It is what it is, people. Here we are.

So now we're good. Thanks, Aaron. always there in a pinch in a jiffy yeah thank god um so i guess do your thing then i'll do my thing and then we'll get since we're all glitchy right now might as well just go straight to the stuff and then we'll get into the meat perfect i'll go i'll go pretty quickly so i'm not worried okay if you're on facebook a couple of you are already hi sorry for the delay um if you missed the beginning part and you're very curious what we talked about. You can go catch the replay on YouTube or Rumble later. So we got to go live on there. It just had a little issue for Facebook.

But yes, if you're watching on Facebook, you are welcome to stay, but you can also head over to Rumble. We've got the live chat over there. We got Aaron in the chat. Thanks again, Aaron. And then we've got YouTube available as well. So either of those, all those options are available. And of course, we have the audio podcast available later. It does not go live. It is a replay. So you can listen if you're driving in your car and you're you know whatever i sometimes like when i'm cleaning i just like to like go to the audio podcast so i can just pop it in and just listen and that's usually when i do that so whatever your preference is um back june 12th is ask natalie we've got some great questions for her this time it's going to be a little bit different um no videos this time so it's going to be a different

but very interesting like some of the questions i'm very curious to hear what she has to say about what is going on. Not necessarily just now, but just in general. Like, if you're in a situation, like, what, what's her suggestion on how to handle it? Sometimes we're, like, when we're in a panic situation, like I just was, I'm like, call Erin. And so Natalie will give us a couple things to, like, just keep on the back burner. Um, next, very important. We have no podcast in July. We are on our summer schedule and we will return August 7th. Got a lot going on. July, mostly me away. And then also we take our teenagers to Fire Week at the River Church. So that is always a really fun week. So we will be very busy this summer as always. And as you guys

know, we've got our TikToks. Pastor Tom goes live on his at Tom Leapley on Fridays. I'll get to that in a second. But those are his two that we post different TikToks too. So we've got the different questions that Tommy asks him and then I pull a lot of his sermons and just clips from that to get that stuff out there. So if you are on TikTok, you can follow us. You can repost and like and comment and do all the good stuff over there. And Foundation Church is on TikTok now and we are going to do some fun stuff very soon. So be paying attention to that. Make sure you go like that. And we have our worship as well. And then of course all of ours, you can always follow us on TikTok. talk. And last but not least is Pastor Tom and this is where he goes live with his Bible studies on Fridays at 8 p.m.

There is no replay. So these are your options. He is on Instagram and he's on TikTok. So if you ever want to do something on a Friday night, it's about an hour. So you can take an hour of your night and see what kind of questions he's answering straight out of the Bible, just like Pastor Tom would do. So that is all I got for today. I love it. Let's do our sponsors really quick. And let's get to it. Radiant Aesthetics, Permanent Makeup, experience relaxation, and customized care at Radiant Aesthetics and Permanent Makeup. With over 20 years of experience,

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She would pull her hair out. Oh, wow. We had to, she had to get mittens put on her hands, and we called her miss mittens because if she didn't have mittens on her hands, she'd be pulling out her hair. Oh, gosh. Poor thing. Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

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You know, I have. been thinking about all these different, I've been trying to think of all different kinds of things that we haven't addressed are kind of skimmed over. And so for today, I want to talk about two things. I think we've talked about, I think we've talked about these things, but not in deep detail. But one of the things that I wanted to talk about is loyalty. And I think loyalty is a dying character trait. I really do. For many, many, many reasons.

And I think one of the reasons loyalty is as a is something that's dying off is because I don't think people understand. We live in a microwave world, right? So if it doesn't give us instant gratification or if something kind of like tease us off and whatever, then we kind of like ditch it. We ditch the relationship, we ditch the person,

we, um, and I think what happens is, is like a lot of people have their tentacles in multiple relationships. So if this relationship fails and you're really

connected to a person, then you, now there's pros and cons to loyalty, right? And there's a balance to it that I think people miss. You can be a loyal person to somebody, but if their relationship with somebody else dies off,

that doesn't mean, and you have a relationship with that other person, doesn't mean you ditch the other person. Do you understand what I'm saying? For example, I'll give you this example. When you have a church, you have many, many relationships, right? when you have kids it's the same thing okay so it's not even church like when you have kids and like you have relationships with their friends or like i'm not i'm not heavily i'll use i'll use uh my daughter and uh her friends right like uh norma and tellia have been best friends since they were

14 years old. Okay. If Norma decided to not be friends with Taya, like Taya has become a very close friend of our family before she even dated my son, right? I would not ditch Taya because of Norma. If Norma decides to ditch Taya, that's Norma's decision, right? I'm still loyal to Norma, but I have a loyalty to that relationship with Taya because Norma and Talia's problems

are Norma and Talia's problems. Not me and Talia's problems and Norma. Right? That's not how that works at all. Same thing. Like when you have a church, there's multiple relationships inside of a church. So you have to be loyal.

You can't involve yourself in everybody's situations. It's too many. And who's right and who's wrong? Correct. So a lot of times people think you're disloyal to them by not being a ride or die. But you are a ride or die with them.

You're just not a ride or die with all of their other relationships. Does that make sense? Yes. Again, balance and everything. But a lot of times what happens is people, like if they, if, like, for example, me and Vanessa had only been friends for like a year or two, right? And Vanessa was teeing me off. But over the, like, it's possible for anybody, especially if you're involved with me in any way, shape, or form. I'm probably going to tee off. It's going to happen. And vice versa. Well, it is what it is. That's people business, right?

And like, this is the thing. For me, like, true friends, if you have, like, I always say, weigh your friends with pros and cons. If they have like 60, 70% pros, like you fight for that relationship. If it's a really good, solid relationship, if trust is the key and honesty and you have that at the core, you fight for that relationship. It doesn't really matter if there's things that everybody's like everybody's going to have to walk through things in relationships that are going to tee them off. or irritate them or like longevity in friendships there's an ebb and flow there's some seasons where you're like super connected and then there's some seasons you're raising a family you're also a wife you're also these other things yes and you have to stay loyal to that person through those scenarios

and those seasons because loyalty does have seasons yeah right and you have to be able to not like take things to heart which is the other topic which is big being somebody who has to be constantly validated. Right. These two, believe it or not, like these two things go hand in hand. Yes. They really do and people don't think that they do. But someone's loyal to you isn't their validation to you.

And you shouldn't need that person to validate you. God should do that. Right. Not a person. Otherwise you worship a person. Right. Which is very dangerous. Your friendships and your relationships will be so much better.

Well, people do this with marriage. I know. Which is like, I know. I know. It's so, it's not good. It's really, really not good. And if, like I said, if, if you've been ever, for me, like, if I've been friends with somebody for a really, really long time, I mean, if they ditch me, then there's nothing I can do about it. I'm not going to, I'm not going to chase. I'll try and fix it.

Don't get me wrong. But if I have to apologize for something, obviously I apologize for it. But I'm not chasing after somebody who's like, right? Right. But I will fight for that relationship or that friendship until it goes that way. Because there's got there's something that's very, you don't stay friends with somebody for so long. If you're friends with somebody for two plus years, there's something, there's a good, strong value in that relationship. And it's worth fighting for.

True. And loyalty is scarce. It is. It's a hot commodity and most don't have it because most people are just like, I don't know if it's because kids grew up in daycares so they don't see the value in relationship because they were dropping. off somewhere every single day and people came and went and like I think that your value a lot of times comes into the investment that was invested in you. So when you don't feel like you've been invested in, which is a validation issue, but when you get, when you don't feel like you're invested in, you don't invest in. So I really find like loyalty is a,

It's very, very rare. And when you do find people that are like that, stick to them like glue. Yeah. If somebody, if you, this is the thing that I often think of to myself is I look at people and I go, when they're in a, when they're put in between a rock and a hard place in a relationship, right? And I'm friends with them. And I see how they respond to that rock and hard place. and they try and be as fair as possible in that situation,

then I sit there and go, well, then they would handle that. They would treat me the same exact way. Like they're going to try and be fair to me when the scenario is put in our relationship. I'm like, that's somebody I want in my life. Right, yes. Whereas a lot of times you see,

that's not how people handle things. They handle it for what's in it for them. True. And then you have to sit there and go, well, that's how they'll be when the scenario is facing me. And that's not loyalty. Right. Loyalty is rare and it's a dying breed.

And I just think that there is a balance to it. And I think people are not balanced in it because, like I said, like, like, if my kids have a relationship, I, like, and I, when I say kids, I mean, I mean from Heather and Travis, because they do with a lot of people. If Heather and Travis had a problem with somebody, that's their problem with that person. That's not going to, the same goes vice versa. If somebody had a problem with us, Heather and Travis, we'd never, like, disassociate themselves without those people. They would just say, that's your problem.

You're going to have to figure that out with them, but that's not going to change how it is with us. and that's how we should be, but that's not how people are a lot of times anymore. It's like you do somebody wrong, then you're automatically excommunicated. And I'm like, do you know the whole story? Right, right. I don't know.

Like when my kids were growing up, I was like, what is that? And also, do you read your Bible? I know. Like when my kids were little and they had problems with their friends, some parents wanted to get involved in it. And I'm like, that's my kid's problem with your kid. That ain't between us.

So we're going to stay out of it. They're going to figure it out. And if they don't and they're not friends anymore, then they're not friends anymore. But that shouldn't affect our relationship because they're kids. Literally. Do you know what I'm saying? I mean, I always tried to help and figure it out with the parent. But overall, really, I'm like, it's not going to be our problem.

Do you know, you remember back in the day when your kids were really small and parents would be like, you know? See? I have to put myself in check because when you mess with my kid, like now I have beef with a four-year-old. Oh my gosh, that's so flipping funny. You know what I mean? But then I'm like, what would Jesus do? That's the thing.

I mean, I'm not saying it's easy to do it. Because that is truth, Vanessa. You're like literally, even though you say I'm not going to allow it to affect my relationship, you really shouldn't allow it. I know. But, I mean. Because it's true. If somebody was treating, like, even you and Pastor Thomas are in a way, like, I, like, you can't help but be like, well, like, territorial.

Right. And, like, why, like, because you guys are, like, you're our leaders. And so, like, and I don't say it, like, in a weird way, but, like, really, like, if somebody has so much beef against you guys, like, why? Well, if they came and ran their mouth to you, then that's gossip. So you can shut them down. Right. That would probably feel pretty good. True.

True. I know. I guess the whole scenario matters because, I don't know, that would be, that would be hard for me. And obviously when people like come at your kids. Yeah. I mean, every situation is challenging. But like my,

I really feel like part of my gifting is mediating. Because I, I want to know both sides of the story. Like I actually am curious. Like if you want help, like if my kid wants help and their kid wants help, okay, well, like,

what, what's the problem? Like with the girls, they would come to me and have all these issues. And I'm like, my girls, my daughters. And I'd say,

this is the problem. What's the solution? And so I'd like make them figure it out. But I'd hear both sides. And like, and then eventually, they didn't want to have a conversation they wanted to play. And so eventually it wasn't worth arguing anymore.

And they didn't want to talk to me anymore because I was making them work for what they didn't want to do. They just wanted to go play again. So like, get past it. Right. Exactly. So I don't know.

Mine's always like if you can, most things aren't really worth destroying a relationship over. You know what I mean? So if I can help them see both sides, sometimes there is reconciliation. But then when you find out the other side and you're like, ooh, like, like you said, if they treat my pastors like this, like, good chance they're going to do it to me. So then you can't help but put like a little bit of like red flag there, you know. Well, the thing is, is the colors will always show themselves.

True. Always. They're always going to show, but they need to be shown to you, not because what they did to somebody else. That's a good gauge. Yeah. Like, because you don't know both sides of the story. You don't know. Like, and that's one of the things that I, if people can save relationships,

let's save relationship. Let's work through relationship. Right. That's the Bible says. Yeah, exactly. Allowances for each other. Right. Like we should prefer each other.

Right. Especially if we're believers, if we're talking about believers here. Right, right. Yeah. Good point. Oh, yeah. And let's face it,

what relationship is there in life that hasn't had some form of overcoming and conflict of some degree? Right. The conflict doesn't have to be like combustible and like ranting and yelling because that's also not biblical. We're not to do anything. Right.

We're not to do any of that. You're not to have quarrels and arguments and stuff like that. But at the same time, there could be times where it's like you don't see eye-to-eye on situation. How you resolve it and how you talk it through is one story. But I just think a lot of times people toss relationships out and think that they're going to be able. to replace that relationship so quickly or with somebody better. Right. Have you looked out?

What's out what's out there? Not much. One of my favorite proverbs or in the book of Proverbs, one of my favorite verses in Proverbs is don't spend too much, and I'm paraphrasing, don't spend too much in your neighbor's home or I'll still hate you. Yes. Like if you're spending too much time with somebody and that not, you're annoyed. You know what I mean? Maybe like scale back. Yeah. Yep. Healthy boundaries.

Yeah. Like don't wear out, you're welcome. Oh my gosh. Can I just tell you the story? This is freaking funny. Yes, tell us. This is a wear it. Don't wear out. You're welcome. Yeah. Tom's best friend back in the day gets married. Uh-huh. And on their wedding night, he goes back to their place with them. No. Yes, he does. he goes back to their i think it was an apartment not a hundred percent sure of that but it could have been in their house goes back to their house with them and opens their presence with them no what that is a very i don't think he was invited i think he like normie goes wasn't he invited he might have been invited out of pity oh it might i get away probably his best friend but who goes okay even if he was invited who says

Oh, all right. I kill somebody. That is crazy. I know. I was going to say maybe Noah and Kylie will invite me to open their presents. No, I will not let you. I'll kill you.

I will literally keep that's wearing out to welcome, Vanessa. That's crazy. That's wearing out you're welcome. If no one came over an open presents with us. After you just got married. Oh. Oh, those presents. I'm thinking Christmas.

No, wedding gifts. No, wedding nights. Wedding nights. Wedding presents. Wedding just finished. When you've waited. Okay. I'm like, wow, I'll tell you.

That's so sweet. I know. I mean, if you really want to, you know. Well, I will tell you this. If you were to marry my son, he'll kill her. That will be World War III. Who is opening up gifts the night of? True.

After. You wait for the morning. Well, obviously, if his friend invited him over, he's as dumb as Tomluss. Like, who does that? That is wrong. Yeah. That means, never mind. You love your wife.

Or you already were. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, that might have been a problem. Yeah, true. Is it just like another night? True. I've always wondered that. Even if it, even if it was, are you kidding me?

Yeah. I know. I know. No, either way. That's true. That's true. Come on. Yeah. Yeah. They were very young, very stupid. You were trapped in your bathroom, your wedding night? Yes. Because you couldn't, because you, oh. You were trapped in your bathroom because you were scared. She walked the door. Did you lock the door? Are you kidding? I think I did. I walked in and he's got, let's get it on like playing in the background. I was like, I can't. Never mind.

Are you kidding me? Abort, abort. How did he coerce you out of there? I think I just, like, accepted my fate. Okay, Vanessa, Vanessa, can I just tell you? That's the funniest. You're one of my most favorite people on the face of the earth. I'm not kidding you.

You have some of the best stinking stories. You're like, God love you. You're the best. You're welcome. he is. Oh my gosh. That is the, you have some of the best stories. I can't wait to tell that to Tom. So you came out and you accepted your fate? He'll use it against me on a Sunday. That'll be a Sunday message. Oh, that, yeah, no he won't. As soon as he catches eyes. He'll probably tease Jeff about it, but. Oh my gosh. That is so freaking funny. That is so funny.

Yeah. Holy molly. I accepted my fate. did. I was like, I just got to take one for the team. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. I'm not going to tell you who this person is. But it's another one of my favorite people on the face of the earth.

And they got married secretly. If they're watching, they're going to know exactly who it is. They got married secretly. So this person had to go to work after they got married. So they didn't get to go home. to an apartment or anything to take care of business. This person had to go straight to work, which was at a restaurant. And they were so scared to come home.

They ate and ate, like French fries. What? Like, just kept eating French fries until they finally had to go home because they were so scared. They were scared. I was like, how wasn't it? And the person was like, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I'm like, gosh, I love you. You are so freaking funny.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. But I ate a lot of French fries. She was eating the French fries out of nerves. I'm like, you are the best. Oh, my God. And that's one of my favorite people, too, that I'm referring to. She's one of my favorite people. That was so freaking funny, though.

I just cried laughing. It was like, that is so funny. I, on the other hand, was not scared. No. I would have been playing. Lately now. Yeah. You're the Jeff in my scenario.

You're literally. Yeah. Jeff. Norma said I wish I was like. She's going to have all the walks. Super, super funny. Yeah. Norma, that's her own separate hotel room.

Yeah. Oh, I'm this one, by the way. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Have a great night. See you. Oh, my gosh. You better to go tonight.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Nobody can hear it. No, she doesn't need to. Nobody needs. Oh my gosh. So what I was, so. Loyalty.

Loyalty. Back to loyalty. Loyalty. Since Vanessa took us down a very dark, bumpy ride. For me, when I think of loyalty, I always equated to, like in my notes, I put loyalty equals trust. Yeah. And, I mean, if you think about it, I mean, the. the most successful relationships we have are ones that are the most loyal.

And who, like, for me, God, I would say Jesus, because we equate, you know, Jesus sticks closer than a brother. Jesus is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. To have the character traits of Jesus, one of them is he is extremely loyal. God is, too, the Holy Spirit as well. Yeah. And like what are those character traits and I wrote them down? And consistency in these things is key. Consistency in these, let me see how many did I write down.

One, two, three, four. Four things will make you have a successful relationship. But I would say each of these things is who Jesus is or God is. Holy Spirit. you are loyal and you will create trust with somebody when you keep your word when you show up and a lot of people don't show up guys yeah they don't if they do show up they show up late okay if you say something you have to like you have to be it if you if you you have to come through. A lot of people don't come through for people. And you got to keep your word. You got to show up.

You have to be dependable and you have to be steady. All four of those things are who Jesus is. Every single time you need that. He is that. And are you that? Not only to your friends, your spouse, your family, your kids, like, are you that to the Lord Jesus Christ? And Like, are you that to God? Because if you're not, like, you reap what you sell. And he is faithful, but you have to be faithful. One of the side things of being a loyal person is the word faithful. A side, I don't, what do they call those synonyms that are like another definition of what another word stands for? And I think loyalty, one of its, I think it's called a synonym. It's, is being faithful.

Yeah. I don't know. I think when I looked it up, it does say that faithful is one of your, whatever it is. Proverbs said, keep looking. Proverbs 17, 17 says,

a friend is always loyal and a brother is born to help in time of need. How, like, yeah. How great it would be to be both? Because as Christians, we are brothers and sisters in Christ. And then to be a friend.

So to be both of those things to your Christian family is invaluable. Like we look like the world when we act like the world. Why don't we make people want what we have by how we treat one another? Definitely. What does it say? Faithful is a synonym for a loyal. Thank you. I could have sworn I saw that.

You were correct. You're right. But a lot of people aren't faithful either. so they say something and then they when it's not convenient they're not there and I mean I have like I would say I mean I have a very very small sphere of influence of very very very close friends and then I have people that are outside of that that it's weird because if I see them I just adore them even though i don't have a close close relationship with them i i see them and they bring me joy like i look at them and i want like i want the greatest things for these people even though i'm not

intimately involved in their lives to the level of the other people in my life you know yeah yeah and um so one of the reasons why my sphere is so small is because because because loyalty is so scarce. I mean, would you not say that? Like, what are the things that when you say, I'm going to have close personal relationship with people, what are the things that you look for the most? You know, is, well, it's like when you hire somebody,

it's will this people, will this person be with me for the long haul? Longevity is key to anything. Do they jump around from person to person, from place to place, from thing to thing. Like, are they consistent? Are they stable? That's consistent. It's very important.

And most people are not. Right. Yeah. And that's why when we find people that are, like we invest in them, especially when in the business world. Like, it is very rare. Like, I mean, like, so rare. And we've been in business for like 13 years now for somebody to call out in us and

them not have already had coverage or something. Like, I can't even think of a time probably in the last six, seven, eight years. somebody called out and there wasn't somebody there, like, kind of knew. Like, we knew that they were, like, even like, people get sick and stuff, but like, we're just like, yeah, I just don't want to show up today. Like, there are always this coverage. They're always figuring it out even before Jaron and I have to get involved. And like that consistency, knowing that they're going to show up every day for work,

like it's such a burden lifted off of an employer. Yeah. Huge. Yeah. It's because there's some form of strong integrity. that is in those people. Correct. Yep.

Yeah. Which. I know. I don't know if you can teach that. No, I was just thinking that. Like, I don't know how you can train that. I think it comes from within. And there's loyal to a fault, too.

True. I was thinking, yes. There's both sides of this because I know some people in my life are formed. True. That's where the balance comes in. Right. The pros and the cons. Right.

Because you're right. There's such a lack of, like, people aren't loyal anymore. They just aren't in general. And then there's the people that are loyal, but they're loyal to a fault and they'll stay in relationships too long. They'll stay at businesses or at their job too long. They never think that they can go another level up because they're so loyal, but I think deep down it's just like their fear of change. Like there's some kind of like something that's holding them back. But it appears to be loyal to a fault. Yeah. Yeah. Well, look at like you said bad relationships. People who love

too much at the expense of who they are. Correct. Like that is so detrimental. If somebody is causing damage, and I'm not talking physical, like if they are, one of the worst thing you can do to somebody is destroy their spirit. Correct. Not their soul.

Their spirit. Because it's their countenance. It's who they believe. and who they think they are. And you destroy that. That means that you are making them feel their worth is like nil. Why people stay in relationships like that. I do get it.

Like when you're super young, your frontal lobe is not fully developed. Like your sense of reason just really isn't there. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. So when this happens to younger people, like when you were in high school and you were with that guy who was an idiot and I was with a guy that was a freaking idiot like I do understand that mentality because it it should happen

when you're that young like even Tracy and the some of the crap that you dealt with you guys were young right like dealt with it for three weeks do it but but you were very young when it all happened yeah I'm saying like that makes sense to me but when people are People are 30 years old. Hold on adults. And they continue to, and I'm even, I even say from 25 to 30, even depending on maturity-wise, you could still be in. Because some people are just really immature until they're like 27, 28. They just are.

I mean, their frontal load may be developed, but, and their understanding might be there, but they're just still like trying to figure things out in life, right? Life experience. Life experience is not there. Yeah. Right? Maybe you were sheltered. I've known plenty of people who've been very, very sheltered. Yeah. And they just, they were very naive.

I guess that's a great word to put it. Very naive. That makes sense to me. But when you're 30 and you're doing it now for the third or fourth time and you keep going to the same place, meeting the same person, even though he's got a different name or she's got a different name. are like the pattern stays the same like by now you should have figured this out this is like but when people destroy people's spirits just because they can and they're young and they're naive or they're just not got it going on I do understand that to a certain extent I really do even trauma like neuroscience that like how our brain prioritizes like things that come in it's always survival. So even if you are 30, 40, however old you are, if you've only been in these

relationships and you're abused as a child, like all this stuff like trauma response is weird. Like, it does make you act like you are much younger than you are. But at some point, that is true. Like, depending on who you're around, but at some point, if you've like even read anything in the Bible, you realize that there's hope somewhere. But you have to pull yourself out of it. That's what you just said is the thing, though. As a Christian in the Bible, it will, it will tell you. The people that are in the world, and I expect that. Right. I mean, of course. Right. But if you're a believer, because I know people who have had horrible lives that they grew up in, horrible homes they grew up in, saw things that they never should have seen, experienced things that they never should have experienced. And they are a quality, solid believer. And they're family members that aren't saved. are wrecks, a mess.

Mm-hmm. Okay? So I know that there's a difference. As a Christian, right. That's your escape route. Right. That's like,

you don't need to live like that. And you shouldn't be living like that. And you shouldn't use that as an excuse to be like that. Yep. As a worldly person, right. Of course. Right.

Why wouldn't you? Right. Like, so I do. I do understand. And that makes complete sense. The other does not. And I think some people forget that too,

is that like some people want people to respond that live in the world. They want them to respond the way Christians respond. And I think sometimes we do, like people forget. Like, they don't have the same set of rules as us. Like, they don't even live by the same, like anything. They have no hope, no, none of that. Yeah.

Yeah. But as soon as you know the truth and you know the word and you know the good news, Like you have to choose. 100% of life. You have to. Otherwise, what's the point? You're living half of all that God's called you to be. Yeah.

Yep. And that's just not acceptable. Correct. What's the point? Right. If you learn to be loyal, there are things, like I said, there are character traits that the Lord has. that one of them is loyalty,

but learning to be a loyal individual creates a certain type of character in you. Yeah. I try and be very loyal. Have I always been? No. And like, do I make mistakes and say stupid stuff all the time? But, like, literally, I try and own it.

Like, if somebody calls me out, and it really is my wrong, I'm going to own it. That's a loyal person though. That's an honest person. That's a true person. But there are certain things when you become a person that is loyal, there are character traits that it trains you to have that stand the test of time.

And you will use these same traits in other areas of your life. I always say there have been different jobs that I've had, and I've had lots of different jobs. And all of those jobs have made me become a better believer. And I have used those jobs for ministry. Well, this is no different than that. When you become loyal, the character traits that will develop within you are learning to be a committed person. It teaches you commitment.

Like you can't bail. You just don't bail because you feel like it. That's out. endurance the scriptures are very clear he who endures to the end will be saved that's what it says in revelation revelation three we like you need to have endurance if you learn to be loyal these are things that will hope you be a strong believer learning to be a loyal individual are character traits that help you in your Christian walk they're not just for one specific thing and if you look at life in this way, you're going to sit there and go, wow, that helped me in this, which helped me

to get to this place. I mean, people don't look at big picture. They just don't. They think of right now in this moment. How do I feel? I'm going to do what exactly how I feel. It's not how it works. It teaches you patience, which patience is a fruit of the spirit.

So you need to walk in patience. Pull what is in you out and start using it, not be taught it. So I rebuke what I just said because you don't need to be taught patients. You need to activate patients. It's a fruit. Yeah, good point. teaches you perseverance. I'm telling you right now, if that ain't one of them, I don't know what.

Because there are times when you want to like. Yeah. teaches you faithfulness. Galatian 6.9 says, So let's not get tired of doing what is good. at just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up. Most people don't. Which is also another fruit of the spirit.

Faithfulness. Yes. Gosh, yeah, that is so true. Most people don't discover or experience the blessing that is right there for them because they are not loyal. and they're not faithful so they don't walk through the season of what it takes to overcome

whatever it is to stay loyal to that situation I'm talking about people with like if you're if you are in a business if you are an employee and you have a boss and you don't agree with that boss

and whatever they have decided with the company or whatever direction they want to take you in with the company and you stay loyal to them and you go and you fight and you persevere through that tough season, the other side, they will honor you more times than not. You will be honored because they know that you went against the grain of everything that was within you. You stayed loyal to them.

And when you get to the other side of it, the reward you'll get is like, I've worked for companies where I like did not like what was happening. Do sales and them always changing the goal. It is tough. And it's always being pushed back. You know, the one year it's right here and you reach that goal. And they're like, well, that seemed a little too easy for them.

So you know what? Remember we move the goalpost back another 10 yards and make them reach that goalpost to get the same bonus structure that we're. we have the following year. So, like, if you don't quit them because the bonus structure changes, but you meet that goal and you honor them through it, like, I've literally gotten, I don't know, a $10,000 bonus and a $20,000 raise by doing that. That's so cool.

It's, yeah, you just shut your mouth, you keep your head down and you, I mean, you fight the good fight and you be a loyal employee, but most people, if the things change on them and they don't like it and it doesn't sit well or they're kind of grumpy, you lose when you should just fight the good fight. Yeah, because I can say on the other side of that, like as an employee, you don't know what the employer has been dealing with. So if they are making changes to the company, there is probably a good probability they were loyal to you without you even knowing, you know, because like, because companies have to make hard decisions, make cuts. sell the company, bring in a whole other, you know, like, especially if they're believers. Like, we've had to make hard decisions. And everything we've done is we prayed about it. And

we've always had our employees at heart like we have because we care about them. And so if they were probably loyal to you prior to even knowing. So then when you're loyal to them, when it actually executes, of course, like there's going to be a reward to that. Well, and that's the thing. I think a lot of times people forget in life, things always are evolving and always changing. Nothing stays the same. Not one thing. Never. From church structure to business structure to family structure.

Like people grow up, they move out. Right. Like things change. They're consistently changing. Expenses change. Like there's all these little different facets to stuff. Nothing is ever going to stay the same. So you better be able to ebb and flow.

and be flexible and stay loyal through the process. Right. Yeah. And like Pastor Tom says this all the time. Like I hope you don't leave this church because you're offended because if God called you here, he's going to call you out. And so at the end of the day, it's the same thing with everything. If God called you into a business or into like a partnership with somebody, like you,

if you're going to jump out of it, you better be praying about it if you're a truly a believer because otherwise you're going to make it based off of a decision or I don't like something or whatever it is. But like everything, every decision that we make, especially big ones, should. go in prayer and fasting. Yeah. And the thing is, is when you quit a job, here's the thing.

This is the difference between quitting a church and quitting a job, excuse me. Quitting a job, like, you're not guaranteed to be hired back. Correct. Quitting a church, now you may affect your ministry as far as when you step into ministry. Right. All that other stuff. But you can always, a lot of times you can always go back.

Like we Yes We have a family Literally on Sunday We had a family Who left the church That came back to the church Like that takes huge

You know what's To even come back to a church Well little do they know Not just us But there were many families In the church That were praying for the return Which was a shock to them

Right But that's being loyal even Because even if you left, and you shouldn't have, okay, there's the loyalty that's been cut in half and chopped and done away with. But then you come back and then there's mending, there's trusting that has to be renewed, but there's a hope of renewal and a hope of that loyalty and trust and faithfulness to recultivate itself and grow aggrine.

Thank you. Restoration. Perfect word. But in order for that to happen is you have to be bold enough to say, I was not right, leaving. So you know what? I'm going to go back. It doesn't mean you have to go and say, I was wrong. You were right. It just means you got to go back, which is hard. Yeah, it is. And there's such a beauty to enduring. Oh, yes. I remember we were a part of the church when it was an itty-bitty church. Oh, yeah.

Itty-bitty. We were just a congregation of maybe 150. Yeah. And then COVID happened. Yeah. And half of our congregation left. And we were 80. And we didn't know what the Lord was doing.

We literally like, I remember, you know, Jeff and I were like, we're, we're, the Holy Spirit has not released us. Like we're committed. We're staying. We're loyal. And we got to experience like such a blessing. We got to experience that whole, like, to see the hand of God move in that.

That's crazy. It really was crazy. It was so cool to be a part of. And then people like me that came in after is like I can't, like I kind of wish I was there for it. You know? So it's like it is true. Like when you make to the other side, there's people not like kind of wish they were there to kind of see like how the heck did that go down.

It was pretty crazy. But the thing is, is Tracy, just know it's happening again. You'll be a part of it again. It's happening right now. And a lot of people don't even know what's happening right now. It's sad to say, but right now. I was very particular with my words. Yeah.

Like, people can't even see it right now. But it is happening. And there's a great divide. It's amazing to see. Yeah. And I mean, in some ways I get it. And in other ways, I don't get it. But I mean, COVID was the same thing.

In some ways, I did get it because people were not spiritually in tune to things. and they didn't understand the promises of God. This is a whole other thing. And, but the signs are there. Like how you can't see truth, I don't know. Like, I don't know how you don't see truth. And you can still be, I don't see for me, like with everything that's going on, politically speaking, and with countries and things like that, for me, I don't understand how people don't understand.

that you can still be loyal to a country without being permissive. I don't understand that. Like, truth is truth. I mean, for me, I just don't get it. And God did it. He did. So, like, his prophets did it. His kings did it.

So for me, I'm like, if it's in the Bible, then it's okay. Like we need to see the signs of the times, understand them, and not be so sycophantical that we don't look at things for the truth that they are in and then just do what is right. For sure.

I don't get it, but whatever. Second Timothy 213 says, if we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny who he is. Thank you. And that, for me, I'll be honest with you, I think to myself, man, I've, like, crushed, if it were possible, I have broken the Lord's heart many, many times. But he has never broken mine. Yep.

Not once. Not once. So, for me, like, the goal is to reciprocate the very thing that's being given to me. And if we can do that, and one of the greatest ways we can is what Scripture says to love our neighbor as ourself. And if we can step into that mode and if we can do the very things that the Word of God tells us to do towards one another, and that doesn't mean enable bad behavior, that means to love your neighbor as yourself, then we in turn it will be very easy for us to be faithful to him when he's faithful to us yeah ladies want to anything no that was that was good I'm gonna marinate in that okay why why you're marinating

can you think of a couple other really great stories oh my gosh I'll bring them on Friday please bring them we didn't get to validation which we'll hit next week but um Because a lot of people, I'm telling you right now, and I can't stand this. But a lot of people need to be validated nowadays. Oh my gosh. It makes me want to throw up. Makes me want to throw up too. Everybody's going to make sure that everybody sees what they did.

I know. So that they can get the kudos or the tap on the back or they thank you. I'm going to hold it in now. I have so much to say. Tracy. It's just like it's ready. It's okay. Always brewing.

People who need to be validated. Mm-hmm. There's a chip missing. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And that chip is him. Yes. That'd be the Jesus chip.

Yeah. Well, get in. Because when he's, when he is, you're all in all, you don't need to be validated about nothing. You do not care. Unless you need from anybody. Correct. Oh, my gosh. Mm-hmm.

It's crazy. But validation on steroids. aeroboids nowadays because partly is because we have mommy daddy issues because we weren't validated by them. True. So we got to find it from somebody else. True. When even people who had great relationship with their parents, they still, some of them still battle needing to be validated.

It's the way of the world. It is. Social media. Blah, blah, blah. Oh my gosh. If I see, like how many times can people take pictures of themselves? I just posted a selfie. No, you did not.

Yes, I did. And I took a picture of her posting this selfie. No. You did not. Was it an Insta though? I literally did. It was an Insta though. It doesn't count.

Not for validation though. The lighting was really good. Oh my gosh. So what was the hopes of posting it then? Huh? That's the point. So that people say, No, I just really like the lighting on me.

I was like, oh, let's take a snack. up. But what's that, what's that going to get, get you? Validation. I can document it for myself and I can move back at it. You could have just put it in your phone. I'm going to take a selfie and post it on my stories and tag hope today. I'm going individually, please. So all three of us. I'm doing it. Oh my gosh. Vanessa, that's freaking funny. Again, she never disappoints. I swear to you.

That's why I keep showing up. Like, here's the thing. Vanessa, here's the thing. Vanessa could have said. nothing. True. And nobody would know. True. But God bless her. She is the best thing on the face of the earth.

And she knew. Like this thing, it ain't gonna be quiet about that. No. I'm gonna have a field day. And it came out. And it came out. You're the best.

I don't care. You be you. All right, you, Arkey. Associated Related Church of people. If you want to post a selfie, it's all about the heart posture, hope. Sometimes you just look good. I want to post a pick.

Do you know how many people use that now? Everybody. Everybody uses it. Heart posture. Everybody uses it. I brought it. I started the time. You did not. Vanessa totally started it. Just like Hope started the taco bar. Did you start, did you start heart posture? Did you really? Because I know for a fact, I did the taco bar. I love it. I love that we all think we start things. And it's been around forever. There was something else after the taco bar. I don't remember what it was. It's probably

potato bar. Probably. That sounds like mine. That sounds like Talia. Not a bad idea. Yeah. But no, it wasn't the potato bar, but it was something like that. And then I either Heather or my sister, popped the balloon and said, no, sorry. Somebody just did that to me recently and I was so disappointed. Oh, no. Somebody recently, because you had, thought you had a really great idea.

Yep. And apparently it was a really good idea because everybody's done it. Really? What was it? I'll tell you later. Okay. Well, you know, because I've had these different decorating ideas and then I find out everybody's doing that. I'm like, what?

I know. I know. And I thought I, and I thought I did it. My nose is a very creative video idea and it's not. I ever have those. That sucks. Really. Yeah.

Get on it, girl. Start praying. Use your imagination. And then you'll find out somebody already did it. Yeah. Truth. So on Friday, we're going to be very loyal. Yes.

To our Natalie. Yes. We love Natalie. Oh, Natalie's coming on Friday. Yeah, she'll be here Friday. Thank you for. listening. I don't know. Tracy's only said it like in the first five minutes, two or three times. She was like panicking because we were like offline, online. She don't care. Are you kidding me?

She blacked out. She did. She does not. She thought she was done for the day. She goes through the airport. I wish you could hear what's in my head right now. La la la la la la la la la. Yes, past four o'clock. She's out. We lost her. We lost her. We lost her. five minutes ago. She don't know. She gone. Friday, you don't want to miss it? Great questions. Yep.

They're different too. Yeah. Like, I love, like Tracy did this one. Yeah. I love that. Not that Tracy doesn't do all of them when now only comes. I don't do a thing when Natalie comes true. But I love this.

This is different. Yeah. You like different. I should go like that. Because it's opposite. I love what you're doing. Yeah. I'm excited about this one.

It's going to be good. Yeah. She's going to have fun. So be here Friday. three o'clock or watch the reruns. Bye.