The Hope Hotline - Valentine's Day Special!

Episode Date: February 14, 2025

Valentine's Day Special!

real talk real talk real talk real talk hello and welcome to the hope hotline happy valentine's day if the flesh if you heard flushing just a second ago, that would be Sarah. Sarah just came out of the bathroom. She was coming out of the bathroom in two seconds. She was trying to race before the podcast. You flushed at just the perfect time. I'm not kidding you. So welcome to the Hope Hotline.

Thank God she washed her hands. So welcome to the Hope Hotline. I can't hear a thing because I think I got disconnected. But today is a good day. We are glad to be back. And Vegas was fun. That was a fun trip. That was a fast, fun trip. It was good. And just glad to be back.

Did you have fun? I had so much fun. It was good and just glad to be back. Did you have fun? I had so much fun. It was a lot and it was fast, but it was really fun. You blink and it's over. Literally. It was like basically 48 hours. We got there Sunday and Monday, Tuesday left. The hard thing about that is the time

change. Your body never gets used to it never got used to the west coast time time zone didn't i did not sleep a wink yeah the pillows were terrible oh no oh they kind of are weird i agree they were flat and then there's like two big ones like what do you do like just too much yeah it. Mm-hmm. I know. It was terrible. I did not, I mean, I literally did not sleep maybe but 30 minutes. It's not hard. Like, a little bit at a time. It was horrible.

But, and then, Vanessa, you're going. You out. Yeah. We're headed to Mexico mañana. Yeah. Tomorrow morning, bright and early. It is a work trip for Jeff that we're turning into a extended visit. Yeah, because our anniversary kind of aligns with it. So we're like, let's just stay a couple more days and hit two birds with one stone.

There you go. And enjoy a little bit. Kick back and relax a little bit. You had a really good idea, Vanessa. See, we had to get up at 2.15 in the morning to fly out and be at the airport for our flight that left at 6. But we hate Las Vegas airport because we can never find the garage for the rental car. It's horrible. Did you not think that that's pretty bad?

It's pretty bad. It is pretty bad. It's just a mess. You have to shuttle. You have to go all the way there. I think we just needed the address. We needed the correct address. They don't have one.

That's the problem. And we've tried that. We just needed like somebody there to like ping us. Yeah. It was terrible. But Vanessa, if i would have done what you did i know i should have thought about that but i did not she you know what she said no tell me what you're doing tonight i am going to bed fully clothed in what i will be going to the

airport yeah that's what i did me and norma norma's like are you wearing that tomorrow i was like yep why didn't I do that? I can't do that. It's the only way. Well, I go to the, like, I'm wearing stretchy pants and a long, like, a t-shirt. Yeah. I can sleep in that. I'd prefer to, like, shower before, because then you feel really, like, you feel better, but, like, when you're going home,

even more so, I know you're not, but, like, even more so, you're just going home. You're not going out anywhere. You're just going to the airport and surviving. I wish to the lord above i would have thought that because i had to change i had to do the whole nine pull up i'm like dang it next time next time although i am not i do not want to leave early like that again which we do every single time i know but listen okay so you know i told you that when a girl that I grew up with was there, she was on the same flight with us, she

was delayed and delayed and delayed and delayed. She just left at 115 last night and she was supposed to leave like two days ago. They kept getting delays and then their flight would get canceled. Kayla, her flight got delayed. Dude, you're kidding me. Whatever. Whatever is going on.

That's why you want to be the first one out. I know. There's really no... That's the only redeeming thing. It is. Being the first flight out, you're not going to get delayed. I know. The odds are highly unlikely because all the flight crew

started their first hours eliminates... The plane has to be there. So there's no de-icing somewhere else to get. Holy moly. Well, maybe I changed my mind. I know. Because I was saying the same thing.

Like, it's just worth paying a little bit more. But then when you just want to get home, the last thing you want to be. She like was Ubering back and forth from the airport back to a hotel. They went to the encore, went through the spa for the day because they knew they weren't going to get out. And then they were praying that they'd get that connecting flight. Like such a mess. Oh my gosh. I don't know. I'll have to ask.

I bet you it wasn't spirit. They do Southwest a lot. That's what Max said she flew out. She flew out on Southwest. Yeah, I flew in there last time with Kenzie, Southwest. They have a direct flight from Tampa, Southwest does. Well, I would have done Tampa with a direct flight.

It's too unpredictable with traffic. I know. I'm not willing to. It is. You almost have to go and stay overnight in Tampa the night before. Yeah, exactly. It's like a 7, 7.30 a.m. Yep, because we left it like sunday which

you just don't know what the traffic's going to be like because we left right after church i mean and then it's coming in like traffic was terrible coming home yeah it was just awful so how much for me like yeah you save time with not connecting but we only it was only an hour we reset yeah i'll handle i can do that all day yeah but you could sit longer in traffic coming from tampa i know and then i'll miss your flight no and then it's only 40 so it should only be 45 minutes you never know but you never know glad we're back we missed you guys sorry we weren't here on wednesday but we're here today for Valentine's

Day and we have some really really great questions for you we do do you want to do the thing really really really really fast and we'll get to the questions yes I do and Facebook's giving us a little bit of problem right now so I'm working on that but anyways like we know or like you guys know we love you guys on Rumble we got the live chat over there and we'd love to hear what you guys have to say about these questions coming in and they'll we'll want to hear your opinion and what you think about them as well and what you do so please feel free to like speak up I see a bunch of you guys watching so join us in the conversation today even if you just pop in if you're cleaning or whatever maybe if you're driving don't but if you're like doing something pop in and say hello tell us where you're watching

from we love to know where you're at and who's watching um if you're on youtube you can pop over as well to the rumble channel um if you don't have premium i know that if you're watching the replay right now that might be a little bit of a problem so if you have youtube um ad free or whatever that might be a better place for you to watch but facebook as well is still available for you guys we'd love for you guys to send in your questions. Ask Hope at HopeHotline.com. We love hearing from you guys, love different questions that come in. It just keeps us fresh and exciting and, you know, it's fun, fun, fun, fun. All right, Instagram, you can follow us over there and also on TikTok. Congratulations to everybody that got TikTok removed. You are back. If you go to the app Store or your Google Play, it is back in there.

So if you love TikTok like I do, it's a good thing. And we just, we're going to get some stuff posted. And yeah, I can't wait to be able to utilize that a little bit more and maybe bring in some new people and some new questions. I think that it'll be a really exciting time. And I think that's it for now. Alrighty, Ruth. Let's roll. Listen, I know Rumble's a pain in the butt with those commercials and stuff like that. It is. So if you don't watch live, used to not be as bad, but it's just gotten

really bad. So just go to YouTube, go to somewhere else. Sad to say, but you don't want to sit and watch like one commercial right after another. I know. Such a pain. So Facebook and YouTube are it, I guess. Yeah. I mean, yeah. The audio podcast as well. But if you want to watch, those are your best options. Yeah. Such a pain. But we appreciate you watching. So let's do the first question. It says, what do you think about sleeping in separate rooms after years of being married I watched a video on social media about this couple not sharing a bedroom anymore and a lot of the comments agreed that it's a great for marriages they all said they still do come together for marital activities but they would they

would rather have their own rooms and And I think they're crazy. You know why I think they're crazy? I think that this is how the divorce rate increases. And this is how people become more selfish. When you don't have to, you know, a lot of people, like my husband puts his clothes on the floor. And that would drive most women crazy. And it does drive women crazy. But then I think to myself, I don't get mad about that anymore because there are a lot of things that he does for me that I drive him crazy on, but he just does them. He overlooks them and he's like, I don't care. I love her. And you, you, when you have to learn

not to be a narcissist and think only of yourself and maybe think of someone else, then a marriage can become like a hundred percent given on one side and a hundred percent given on the other side. And that's makes a great union, right? But when you become so selfish that what you want and your wants and your needs supersede what a true marital relationship looks like, then you're headed for trouble. One of the reasons I don't mind picking up after Tom is I literally for a long time, probably the first five years of our marriage, I'd be like, oh, God, why do I have to? He the hampers right there. Like, what's wrong with him? Why can't he just put it in the hamper? But I thought, I thought to myself, thank God I have clothes to pick up off the floor of somebody that I love dearly and is like number one in my life outside of God himself. But somebody who loves me dearly, I'd rather pick

the clothes up than not have the clothes to pick up. And if you put things in the proper perspective, then I think that it becomes what was a big deal is no longer a big deal. I mean, I've never heard of this before. Have you guys ever heard of this before? I know you guys are having problems over there. So, no, they're having like, it's Facebook. Technical difficulties. Yeah. Have you guys ever heard of this before? I know you guys are having problems over there. You know again.

No, they're having like. Technical difficulties. Yeah. Facebook is not working right now. Sorry for those who. I've got Erin. What did Erin say? Do we want to repeat what Erin said?

No, we don't want to repeat what Aaron said. No. Isn't that special? You're not helping Aaron. I got him. Yeah. We're going to keep working on it. It's just, it won't let me,

it won't let me go live. There was something that popped up on the screen that was like, you've got a virus. And it was like all these different, I took a picture of it and I sent it to him. That's not good. Yeah. We're good over here.

I just closed all of Firefox out and we're up and running. Rumble, right? Rumble, YouTube, Blackrobe, we're all good. It's just Facebook. Oh well, this is not the first time. Have you guys ever heard of this before? About sleeping in separate

bedrooms? I have recently and then I know it was like a thing way way back in the day well no not sleeping in separate bedrooms really sleeping in two separate beds right yes like my grandparents had separate rooms well my grandpa your grandparents had separate bedrooms and my parents have separate rooms my grandparents as well had separate bedrooms yeah separate bedrooms yeah like when you were growing up whole life my whole life no i i've seen like i my my grandparents had two separate beds lots of people i mean it wasn't uncommon for me to hear that like

the more mature had separate beds like i made fun of this but like you watch like i love lucy mary tyler moore not mary tyler moore um dick van dyke show and stuff like that they all had like I love Lucy, Mary Tyler Moore, not Mary Tyler Moore, Dick Van Dyke show and stuff like that. They all had separate beds. Every single one of them. They had two twin beds in their bedrooms. They didn't sleep and they never filmed them where they slept in the same bed. It was always two separate beds.

Like Brady Bunch, that was risque. That like when you saw Mike and Carol Brady in the same bed, back up, back up. Watch out. Back up the truck. I think sleeping in separate bedrooms makes more sense to me than sleeping in separate beds in the same room. Really? Yes.

Can I get my own room? Because if someone snores, I get it. If they're keeping each other up separate bedrooms work but like sleeping on a completely separate bed in the same room why why are we doing that yeah that i don't get i don't get i don't get either of them though i'll be honest with you neither one of them appeal at all to me i think that they they're not healthy. I don't think it's healthy for a marriage. If you think about the people that you know that have separate bedrooms, would you want their marriage? Nope. No. Yeah. It's great. I mean, great fact check.

Because I, even the ones that had separate beds, would not want their marriages. At all. There is something to be said when there is give and take. And you have to be selfless with your partner. Yeah. And that keeps you connected. And keeps you in check, as well as them. When you have to, like, not let life.

Because eventually, separate bedrooms leads to separate vacations, separate friends, separate relationship. And eventually, then you get the old adage of, we've grown apart. We fell out of love. Well, yeah, all that's gonna happen because you're not together. Exactly.

You're never together. According to surveys, about one in five couples one in five right now sleep in separate bedrooms wow yeah and most of those do it every night this is called get this it has a term sleep divorce oh my gosh oh interesting I've never heard of that. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of this. Sleeping in separate bedrooms? I was completely shocked. I wonder if people just would never tell you.

Like all these years of being a pastor and like no one would say to you. Nobody has ever told me that they slept. I have never. Yes. Under wraps. Mm-hmm. I've known like, I've known couples like, that have come to me

and said that they've not been having sex right we've met with plenty of married couples that haven't had sex 10 plus years that's a long had sex 10 plus years.

That's a long time. Yeah, 10 plus years. There are younger couples that it could be a year plus. Some of them two and things like that, that usually porn, well, not usually, almost every time, if not every time porn has been involved. Either porn is currently of use or porn was so pervasive that it has destroyed, for the man specifically, performance for him. Yeah, that makes sense.

So now, like, he can't perform. But he may not be looking at it anymore. I mean, I've not met one person that was truly honest. It always comes out, like, one person said they didn't look at porn. It was from previous time, and it ended up they were actively involved in pornography, child porn, actually.

Oh. And so they were lying i've never met somebody who is completely honest and transparent that porn wasn't being actively involved in why they were not having sex i don't believe them anyway if people tell me, a guy, like if a guy says that he's not, that he just, it's because this or that, and that he did, but he doesn't anymore, and that's part of the reason why, I sit there and go, bull crap. In my head, I'm like, I ain't buying what you're selling. You're a liar, more than likely.

I just don't buy it. Yeah, especially when there's no reason, because they probably don't have something else to say, right? No. Well, it all is a putt. Some people, I don't want to say they say it won't work anymore, but that's legitimately like they just have no interest anymore in it. And I'm like, mm-mm, that's not how men work.

That's not how men operate. It's not true. I don't buy it. I just don't. Now, can they make themselves be interested in other things to keep their mind off of it? Maybe, maybe. But on the whole, men, they're horny. Well, I know from a health standpoint, there are a lot of men that deal now with low testosterone. And that has to do with diet and not exercising. And I'm not saying that they're not watching porn.

I'm just saying that definitely low testosterone is huge in the medical field right now. People are going to get medications or creams and all kinds of stuff. I do know somebody that had low testosterone, and that was never, the one thing that they never had an issue with was their sex drive. I don't know if that's across the board.

I've never met anybody with low testosterone that actually had to take medication that wasn't able to perform. They absolutely were. They're really into fitness and are on steroids. Are those the people you talk to? Not me.

But I guarantee you that's probably not the case either. But even still, I am so jaded when it comes because porn is, so what happens is, even if what Sarah's saying is true, it's a possibility.

It is probable. Well, like she said, she's not saying that porn's still not being used because what can happen is is when you are hungry what's your food of choice is it your wife or is it the porn so maybe you can only be active one time a month i mean one time a week so what appetite are you feeling? Yep. Good point. You're going to feel it somewhere. Yep. It's not cool.

So for me, like the two separate bedrooms is not wise. I mean, I see no, I see nothing good that can come from that. Now, what lots of people say, they'll use the examples like,

why do they do this? And I look this up. Why would somebody want two separate bedrooms? Like you guys said, snoring. Yeah, that's the huge one that I see. Yeah. Hey, listen, if Tom had his way, we'd live in two separate bedrooms.

Only because of my snoring. And he likes a colder room. He does. He likes a colder room. And he's like, what's the problem with it? I'm'm like there's a big problem with it yeah like when we had the hurricane damage he makes fun he had to sleep in a separate room while our walls were torn apart and our bedroom was completely I'm in the living room sleeping cuz we have you know we have no bedroom and he's in his office and he's

like it was so dark in there because he likes a really dark room. It was super cold and I snore every now and then. And he's like, and there was no snoring. And he's like, what's the problem? What's the problem? I can meet up with you. You can meet up with me.

I have a big problem. I have a big problem. Have you tried mouth taping for your snoring? Never even heard of that. I'll send you a link. I'll send you a link. I'll send you a link. Send a link. Do you have to tape your mouth?

I don't, but I've seen it advertised. I've seen a video on TikTok. An article. I might feel a little claustrophobic by that. I don't know. Let's try it. They have breathable tape. Yeah, they do.

So it doesn't feel claustrophobic. And it gives you a sharper um jawline yes oh get me some of that send the link i might be interested in that thomas is the one that snores and he makes the dog sleep and that's the other thing the dog slept with me not with him that's pretty crazy so he was like it's a win-win for me oh my my gosh. I'm like, it ain't happening, dude. Yeah. Forget about it. Not happening.

But they say people do this because they are well-rested, more patient, more engaged, and present with their partners. How are you present with your partner? The only time you really have to be together is when you come home from work. And a lot of times people spend more time watching tv than communicating i talk more to tom in the bedroom yeah like when we're getting ready or he's taking shower to do something i'm like we have more conversation in our bedroom i know our kids think we're in there fooling around sometimes we're like we're not okay the bedroom door is closed because we're trying to talk about things that are private. So you're not meant for your ears.

You're not allowed to hear. We have to talk about certain things, not even about us, but there's legitimate church things you have to talk about or just life. You guys have businesses, so there's business conversations. You don't want everybody to hear that stuff. Not in my bedroom. Derek knows better. Better not ask me about no generator

in my bedroom. Sorry. That's when she draws the line. I draw the line there. That is the hill that Sarah is going to die on. That's freaking funny. That is.

But for me, like, that's like our sanctuary. That's my my private place i don't have anywhere else in the house that nobody else is allowed not to come into when the door is closed and so i don't want to have like knock on his door hey can i come in okay i'm not a visitor i'm your wife i don't like that at all like give me your give me your opinions girls you've heard a lot of mine I I really like sharing a room with Jer like I but my whole life I grew up in my own bedroom and I like being around people too so like Jer is easy to live with um I've never it never even crossed my mind that like, oh, this would be so much easier

if like Jer wasn't in here. Like it just was, I don't know. So when I was reading about it or like, no, reading an article on TikTok, but I was reading comments. I know when I was reading comments, cause I, every time I watch a video, I go to the comments to see what people say. And a super interesting cause a lot of people were like, oh, I'm not the only one. Oh, I'm not the only one. So it's definitely like a hush hush thing, but they're like, my marriage

is better because of it. Which like you said, the people that we know in our lives, is it really better? Or is it, this is like another step out the door because we all see, you see things on Facebook where we're like, Hmm, they're heading the wrong way. But personally for me, like I just, I don't, it's not even enticing to me. Not me. Yeah. Not me either. Like I, I see nothing beneficial from it. Yeah. I would, I would consider it. Well, hear me out. Okay. Hear me out. I'm hearing, I'm listening all ears. I can't wait. I have never had my own room. Ever. It's not that great. In the history of ever.

I've never had something that it was. I have a corner now. I have a chair now. Specifically for me. In my home. So the thought of having my own room is kind of appealing. But will it ever happen?

No, because i love my husband and i love what he brings to the table yeah he brings a nice comfy body that i can snuggle up to whenever i need it um there is something nice about like for me like knowing that tom's right there yes like seriously like have at that yeah you come in our house have at that have fun with that yeah like I don't want to be

in a separate bedroom like that no I will settle for a corner and that's what I got right now in your living room

in my living room got a little oversized chair dedicated to me and my things so no I

I get it. I don't. I'm not in that camp. I mean, if you've never had your own bedroom. Ever. I mean, my mom never had her own bedroom until my dad passed. Always shared a room. Yeah.

Went from living in her mom and dad's to sharing a bedroom. And now she has it. Ain't that great? Right. It ain't that great. She paid money to have my dad back the grass isn't always greener so it's not what about you sarah well what an interesting progression we have here it's almost like from one sarah's about to tell us i do i do like that no if i had

a room in my house that i could sleep in i would sleep there. And that is not just because of snoring, but also sleep talking. And he makes this noise that is scary and it has woken me up out of dead sleep before where I've had to like pray in tongues because it goes a little something like this. So,

it sounds like a ghost and it's terrifying. So, I love him very much. I also do not like to be touched when I'm sleeping there's no cuddling like no cuddling we do what we do when we do it and then it's i put there's a wall we've built a

wall there's a pillow wall there's a i have a wall it's name is adamar yeah you have a dog wall but um i can't wait for the day until I can have my own room. And even if it's just for me to have my things. Like your office area? Yeah, I want a space. With a futon? In case you decide to go in there?

No, a really expensive sleep number bed is what I want. So you're going to have your own separate bedroom someday? Yes. Sarah, don't do that. It's a slippery slope. Just trust that. It's a slippery slope. Just trust me. It's a slippery slope, girl. I don't know. My grandparents

did it. And did you want their marriage? I don't know anything about their marriage, so I can't really comment on that. I mean, they never fought in front of a... It was... That's a neutral. Okay. But like, I can be the exception exception have a really good and also be able to sleep at night and not wake up to why don't you just need like a fan like

white noise white noise you ever tried that it's no it how about it's plugs? It's jarring. The noises are. That is pretty loud. I'm a box fan. That's what I have next to my head. It's just, you know, and it's always right when I'm about to fall asleep. Because there's another thing that is very annoying. He can lay down and be asleep in like 45 seconds.

That's me. That's me. Okay. Okay. Can I, you can pray for me then today. We will. seconds that's me that's me okay okay can i you can pray for me then today we will that because when i lay down at night once i'm asleep i'm good unless he makes that noise the ghosts come out but getting to sleep at night it's not as simple so he always falls asleep first

so sometimes he just will fall asleep watching tv on the couch, and then I can get to sleep, and then he'll come in later, and that works better. Yeah. But it's just a matter of, yeah, I don't want to be grumpy because I didn't get any sleep, and it's... I have my beauty rest. I have my AirPlex. I just put my AirPlex in.

I have no problems. It is what it is. It's Valentine's Day. You guys can buy me some earplugs I'll send you the link She wants you to buy them And pray for me so that I fall asleep I'll lay down

I'll buy some earplugs and then I'll pray over them And anoint them for you Well I will say Tom's like Who made up the rules Who made up the marital rules But apparently somebody did Because they did this back in biblical times. They slept in the same tent. They didn't sleep in two.

Well, unless they had concubines and then they made the rounds to those different tents. But I'm just saying. Which is not the marriage you want. That's not the marriage I want. Nope. I am not the one to share my man. It would get downright dog ugly. I mean, somebody's going to get hurt.

And I fight street dog dirty. Yes, she does. Probably not going to be me. I mean, if I do, I probably deserve it. But, like, no way. I don't share. So they did this. For me, I liken it to be like, you know how Christians define?

They'll like, we're seeing this now today. Marriage is, to me, is defined in like, you're one. Correct? Because that's what the Bible tells us. What does being one look like? Being one is not being separate. You do things together you are one together so what one does the other one does to a certain extent I know like but at the same time like one doesn't mean that you're living in two different rooms and living two

separate lives a lot of times and when um it's convenient, then you come together. And when it's not, I mean, for me, if you're living in two separate rooms, how easy is it for a man to just succumb to things that he shouldn't succumb to? I mean, women are watching stuff

they shouldn't be watching or they're reading books that they shouldn't. Men usually don't read very much, so they're not going to be watching those. Visual. Yeah, they're visual. Exactly.

But it just reminds me of how Christians define Christianity for themselves. And as long as that Christianity fits in the parameters of what they deem as being a Christian, then they're okay with being a Christian. But God forbid that we put biblical requisites being a Christian, then they're okay with being a Christian. But God forbid that we put biblical requisites on Christianity, and then all of a sudden it's, that's not what I believe.

Well, it doesn't matter what you believe. What does the Word of God say that a Christian looks like? And for me, the same thing goes with marriage. You may not like that he snores. Put the earplugs in. Overcome. Like for me, okay, I know it's scary to sleep next to the earplugs in, overcome. Like for me, okay,

I know it's scary to listen, to sleep next to the ghost. Oh my God. Okay. I know that like, what's that guy from, what's the name of the guy that was in the chains from, Bob Marley,

not Bob Marley. No, it's something. It's Marley. Yes. The ghost of Marley But what was his first name? I think it was It was like Bob

No No it's not Bob Bob That's the reggae singer I know it is gay But I thought it was The same thing Jacob Marley

There you go I mean Living Sleeping with Jacob Marley I'm sure is not the greatest Okay But at the same time God can help you to overcome.

Choosing, I just think that going into two separate bedrooms, this is my professional Hope Hotline opinion. That's what we're here for. And all the wisdom that is endowed into this body. I just think, like, we have a high divorce rate, and one of think like we have a high divorce rate. And one of the reasons we have a high divorce rate is because people, it's like when we raise our kids, we'll raise our kids and we'll,

we're seeing more people raising their kids with devices. And the kid is entertained by the device and the parent only parents when they have to. But it's like, whenever we take our kids out to dinner, how many of us see kids with devices in their hands instead of making that child participate in conversation? We're not like helping our kids and training them up to be products of society like we did when we were very younger.

When we were younger, and I'm the oldest one in the room, but when I grew up, we sat down at the table and everybody talked to one another. And if you didn't have something constructive to add to the conversation, you kept your mouth quiet until you did. And if I went out to dinner with my parents and their friends, me and my siblings talked to one another. We're not teaching our kids to communicate anymore and we're not disciplining and we're not training them anymore because it's inconvenient and we're tired at the end of the day because we've worked long and hard. This is the same kind of thing to me in a marriage. It's only as what's convenient. We are such a selfish, self-entitled people. And if you look at other countries,

they're not like this. I mean, if you look at other countries, a lot of times it's more about family, about relationship. It's about even like if you go to other countries, they stop in the middle of the day, they go home, they all eat together, they rest, and then they'll go back or the day is done. And we are rush, rush, rush, go, go, go. And fitting in only what we like. And if it's inconvenient in any way, shape or form, we're like, that's not for me. Learn to make it be you. Because sometimes life is better when it doesn't revolve around you. Shocking. I know. You should be on a t-shirt.

But it's best for you. That's a good one. Because that's how we live. The world revolves around us. And get out of my way if you're in my way. It's not healthy to think like that. And that's how we become narcissists. True.

And it's super dangerous. For for me, that's my answer. Ladies, for never being in separate rooms, Sarah's waiting for the day for her to have a separate room. Vanessa is going to have to wait until Jeff dies because she's never going to get her own separate room until he's gone. I told you. And then she'll end up remarrying Tracy

and then she'll end up having to share a room with Tracy. No, we're going to be sister wives. We won't marry each other. I already told her I'll have a bedroom for her all by herself. Thank you. And she can come out when she needs people. And Tracy's like me. Yeah.

No separate room. No. No separate room. No separate room. I like, I like Jer there. I like you said, I like the comfort of him being there. Yeah. Tom doesn't like me to touch him while he's like sleeping.

He's not a cuddler. Okay. But, but we both like each other in the room as much as he choose to say otherwise yeah i know deep inside jare is a cuddler and he would be really sad if he wasn't there too so like don't you get hot though we don't cuddle oh but he would he would cuddle all night long if you let him yeah it doesn't he get hot yes but he also has a bed jet. Bed. A bed jet.

Oh. He has air conditioning in it. So he has an air conditioner blowing on him all night. And sometimes he'll let me sneak in when the heat is on. Because it does heat and air conditioning. So does he put the heat on? Yeah. Like when it was really cold.

Yeah. When we had that like cold front. Yes. He would preheat the bed. Yes. Oh, my gosh. I put my heating blanket on. Which is in the old days.

Which is probably also why they were in tents together because they were freezing. Oh, yes. The body. That's right, girl. Very true. Yeah. That's true. But that's what you have a, what is it, a heated blanket for.

True. I have multiple layers of heat going on. Very important in Florida. Norma has her room set at 62 degrees and then has a heated blanket. He has the air conditioning blowing on him and a heated blanket on the other side.

I just have heated blankets everywhere. I don't have any heated blankets. It's probably better for you. I don't think they're healthy. Oh really? Yeah. Why is that? Electromagnetic. Oh, really? Just bind it. That's exactly right. Yeah. Jesus name. Just nothing by any means. Like they did in the old days. Oh my gosh. That's true. If I could. That's a fire hazard. I know. That is true. It seems like it would be far more dangerous. I think so. I think. That is true. That's more dangerous. It seems like it would be far more dangerous than even a blanket. I think so.

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whichever one you live in, they deem is the assessed value. Well, when me and Tom had our house built, we paid the first year, like said on the on the value of the land and then they assessed our house at a very high high amount which was inaccurate so we paid now if you don't know this you don't know this but i was in real estate so i did know and you need to know it too if they price the value of your house too high, then you can get an appraisal, take it to the city or the county, and they will reassess it to whatever the value of that appraisal is because it's a certified appraisal.

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Is my second question So this goes along with the other one So this person wrote two questions My second question is Have you heard of Scandinavian sleeping method Or of the Scandinavian sleeping method Sleeping in a separate room But adopting

The Scandinavian method Actually sounds good to me Sleeping in a separate room, but adopting the Scandinavian method actually sounds good to me. Sleeping in a separate room, but adopting the Scandinavian method actually sounds good to me. I don't understand that. Yeah, maybe they meant not sleeping. Not sleeping in a separate room?

Yeah, I would say that. Because of what the Scandinavians, I don't know how you can do both. Okay, I did not know what the crap Scandinavian method was. You never heard of it either? No. I brought pictures. Oh.

Everybody's clothes for the most part in these pictures. So they're appropriate. Okay. For your viewership pleasure. Phew. appropriate okay for every viewer your viewership pleasure here but so Scandinavian sleeping method is where he has his blanket you can put it on and she has her blankets that's it couples rarely share the same sleep preferences and habits the Scandinavian sleep method gives each person autonomy to regulate

their sleep temperature and reduce sleep disruptions at night. Tom and I sleep like this. This is how we sleep. I did not know it had a name. Tom has his blankie. He will not sleep with certain. A family in our church gave Tom this huge Hallmark Christmas blanket. It's huge.

He sleeps with that thing every night. He's got a blanket? He has a blankie. He has a blanket that he calls Brownie. Oh, okay. Brownie has been with him before I was around. Wow. Oh, yeah.

That's gross. That's gross. Looks like it's been around. Remember the sheet story? Brownie was involved in Oh, wow. Oh, yeah. That's gross. Yeah, it's gross. And it looks like it's been around. Remember the sheet story? Brownie was involved in the sheet story. Oh, yes. Brownie did not. Brownie looked brown, not tan.

So Brownie has Brownie and then he has his Hallmark. Okay. And then he has one other one. But yeah, he does not. He whips back the comforter and sleeps only on the sheet and then his blankie. Okay. Yep. I can't do that. I have to sleep with the sheet on the top, my comforter on, then I have another blanket

on top of that. I'm weird. I mean, I like to be warm. Yeah. Yeah. Very comfortable. I don't have a heating blanket. But like, do you guys sleep like this be warm. Very comfortable. I don't have a heating blanket. Do you guys sleep like this?

You guys sleep like this too? Oh my gosh. The panel is all saying yes. Jeff and I, we share a blanket. Maybe. What? I think it's impossible because somebody's pulling. But you don't move, right?

It's all about the give and take. You gotta learn how to but you're sleeping I like out your own creature fun fact when I lay down I go to bed I did know this and I don't know right at all I will wake up like this yeah that's impressive and that would make sense vampire you don't need to share a blanket i thought this was valentine's day instead it's halloween episode literally vanessa like this in her bag uh somebody else i know said that uh somebody else i know i was with today they said they do not move when they're sleeping oh i do I do. They literally are like this. I do move. Like, I flip from side to side on my stomach.

But I'm usually in the same spot. Like, Tommy will be from, his head will be on the pillow, and the next time you go into his room, his head's at the end of the bed. No, not that. What's he doing? He's fighting in his dream. Yeah, that's dangerous.

Who knows? Who knows? So, all of you, do you move a lot or do you not move a lot? Well, I have my, like, I want a down comforter. I want my linen sheet and my heating blankets. I have all my things where I like everything. And then Jer has a quilt that he likes to sleep with, just a sheet. Like, he sleeps on the sheet.

Yeah. And with a quilt, his hair blowing at him and then a heated blanket on the side. So he's got his own concoction. But we're separate. Totally separate. I will say the sheet is separate. So because of the bed jets.

Right. I was wondering how that works. Yeah. The sheet has a separation. Okay. Okay. So we share the sheet, but the bed, like the flow doesn't reach to me. Well, he is a big guy.

Yeah. But you share a sheet though? And we share the sheet and the comforter. And then we actually sleep on a grounding sheet, which is a whole nother story. Yeah. Yeah. There's that too. It's like grounding, like when you go outside and you ground.

Yeah. There's a grounding sheet. You should be Indian. You and your rituals. It's not me. Yeah, it actually plugs into the grounding, like the outlet. The circle? The circle and the outlets.

And you plug it into the grounding spot. Yeah, and it's supposed to help you get a very deep sleep. Do you notice that? No. Thank God somebody's honest in this relationship. And Sarah, you said you do the same thing. Oh, yes. I have my own blanket. He uses the comforter.

No top sheet. Just the comforter. And then I have a blanket. No top sheet. I just think it's a waste. Oh, not me. It's there for a reason sarah you must use it i think i need new sheets also because linen linen okay i'm gonna tell you i every black friday i go and i'm i'm a i'm a bougie snob when it comes to sheets. They have to be at least and I don't even know if I have any that are this 1200 plus count. I think I have. I don't even know

if I have any that are that low. Have you ever tried listen I have done linen but have you ever somebody from church gave Tom and I and I give you a shout out because this is some of the best sheets I've ever had is

My Pillow Sheets. Oh yeah. My Pillow Sheets are like and I'm picky and I was like I wonder how good these are. Because I'm not a big My Pillow pillow person. I wasn't either. No. I like their pillows.

I love the man. I just don't like. Yeah. But those, I'm telling you. The sheets are good. The sheets are good. They're good. And I wait till Black Friday.

Because you can get really great deals at Macy's, which is where I normally get mine from, or Belk's. Yep. Really good deals. I got them off of the website. at Macy's, which is where I normally get mine from, or Belk's. Yep. Really good deals. I got them off of the website. That's what I do. Black Friday.

Yeah. High count. Always nice. And then it doesn't matter if the dog jumps on the bed and he's filthy usually. I have to wash my sheets constantly. It doesn't matter if they're ruined at the end of the year because you're paying a reasonable price. Instead of hundreds of dollars, you're spending $100. For sure.

So for me, I can do that all day long. Let's go to the next question. Were you going to add something, Sarah? No, I'm shopping for sheets right now. Oh, my gosh. Okay, Sarah, for the record, there's a reason why. There is the fitted and the flat.

I know. It's supposed to keep your comfort. Use the topper, not just the bottomer. It just always ends up curled up at the bottom of the bed. How is that possible? I don't know. I'm asleep. Oh, my gosh.

Exactly. You're a different creature when you're sleeping. Lavender marriage. Have you ever heard of lavender marriage never me neither weird this is what they said lavender marriage have you you are the peanut gallery ever heard of this i say nope surely have not i mean i love lavender lavender's great But this is weird Oh brother Oh yeah It's weird So the definition of lavender marriage Like we're not having any sex talk this Valentine's Day

This is all about different stuff Love it Yeah it's very different So a lavender marriage refers to a heterosexual marriage Where one or both partners are actually lgbtq plus and enter into the union to conceal their true sexual orientation from society you know like how rock hudson married i don't remember uh i looked it up her name was phyllis gale remember you remember rock hud? Gay as gay can be.

And he married Rock Hudson. See if you can find him. Put him on the screen. Rock Hudson was like back in the day. He was handsome. 50. Oh, he was unbelievably gorgeous. That's fun.

Oh, yes. Movie star like there's no tomorrow. Gay? Gay as gay can be. What? 100%. And you know beards. You've? 100%. You know beards. You've heard of people who have beards.

These are usually men that are gay, and they'll have a girl that they're dating. They usually date a woman as their beard to conceal that they're gay. So they'll always have a woman go out with them. Somebody who's like, not so much anymore. We don't see this anymore

because homosexuality has been infiltrated to be okay and deemed societally acceptable. But back in the day when Rock Hudson in the 50s and stuff like that, like Gomer Pyle, remember Gomer from Andy Griffith? Totally gay. Jim Neighbors, 100% gay. like that like gomer pile remember gomer from andy griffith no uh totally gay jim neighbors 100 gay um um but he would never they it wasn't like barry manilow took forever to come out that he was gay he actually dated dinah shore and i don't know if they ever got married, but gay the whole entire time.

Everybody knew he was gay, but it was not societally acceptable. So people did this, which is they had a lavender marriage or they had a beard. So often due to a social stigma or pressure to maintain a public image, particularly in situations where being openly gay could negatively impact your career or reputation. The term is most commonly associated with Hollywood's early era, where such marriages were prevalent

to protect actors' career. So, like, if you look at, what's the guy that ran with Kamala? What's his name? Tampon Tim. Yeah, Tim Waltz. Thank you. I'm like, the last name is like something.

Because Tom always called him Harry Balls. So I literally can never remember. I can't remember his name. Unless somebody tells me something that gets my head out of Harry Balls. He's not openly gay. He's been caught multiple times. But he's married. So it's still to this day,

we have people who hide it. But he had to have his stomach pumped because of sperm and crap. In there? Wait, what? That requires a lot. What in the world? It might have been from an animal, if I remember correctly. Look it up up i think so going in oh man i wasn't really listening and i'm kind of glad that i wasn't because i don't

know what that was about we can move on to the next topic because that was disgusting okay you're looking it up right yeah so even though i mean if you're a politician and it doesn't fit where you live because maybe it's still conservative, did you find it? The first thing that came up says, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz had his stomach pumped after over-ingesting horse semen. That's the first thing that pops up, so I'm just saying. Google.

That's what Google told me. That makes me want to like it pays to be married to tom i know a lot of stuff literally that's not important and gross what in the world and that's true i wasn't ready for that either yeah okay moving along yep moving along moving along yeah so even like depending on if you're a politician and it Yep. Okay. Moving along. Yep. Moving along. Moving along. Yeah. So even like, depending on if you're a politician and it would not be acceptable for you to be gay, then you're going to like, but you know what?

Like my, like Tom and my brother, both law enforcement. My brother was a detective. And one of the things that he would have to do is go into these areas where homosexuals were doing inappropriate things with each other. And they would have to catch them because it was publicly, it was lewd and lascivious acts. So they would have to do these stings. And my brother was like, it's so freaking disgusting.

Like these people are so disgusting with the perversion but he said so often they would be older men like grandpas married and um just going out into like we have a beach around here where it's super popular in the woods and all of them know to go to this beach and meet up with each other so they're married he's like they're grandfathers they're married they're grandfathers and he's like i can't he's like i can't even walk through a store without thinking pedophile gay whatever like he's like so disgusting he's like you're you get so jaded because because you know these people that no one would ever think that live certain lifestyles, they live these lifestyles. Like with major child pornography on their devices, it's bad.

That's so sad. It's super sad. People are frauds. Outside of God, everybody's doomed. Yeah. I agree. It of God, everybody's doomed. It's just true. Outside of God, none of us have a fat chance. But with him, success all the way.

And why people don't run to him? It's because they're so deep into perversion that they don't even, can't even. And I was one of them. Like, if you asked me if I was going to heaven when I had walked away, I'd be like, no, I ain't going to heaven. There ain't no way. Was I running to get to heaven? No, I wasn't. I still was like, yeah, you won't see me in heaven.

But I wasn't like, I need to repent. I didn't feel like that at all. I was like, it is what it is. And I just kept getting worse and worse and worse. And then, I mean, God will only chase you so far, but thank you, Lord, that he did and that he was there in the thick of things and drawing me the whole entire time

because it says in the word, unless he draws you in. And so when he keeps trying to do that, don't keep rejecting him because eventually it stops. And that's biblical too. So if you feel like you're being drawn into him, run. Run into his arms because it doesn't mean it'll last forever. We have a couple more questions. Let's keep going.

Let's see. This one, I love this one. This was interesting. Engagement rings can be very expensive. I've recently heard of lab grown diamonds never heard of this before in my life you but all three have heard of this yes what what do you think of alternative options okay so i didn't know like i just said i had no idea well you put up the um thing so i looked up what is lab grown and what is natural, right? And I found this graph.

There is no difference except for cost. If you look at the one, is it on their left? Whatever, look at the one that says natural diamond. The chemical composition is carbon. The hardness is 10 on the MOSH scale. Refractive index is 2.417 to 2.419 and exists naturally. Now, if you go over to the lab grown, everything is the same exact thing, except it was created in a lab. Yep. Yeah. Crazy.

Why wouldn't you buy a lab grown diamond? I mean, why wouldn't you? Right. There's no difference. You can do, I looked at this up, you can get the same quality, clarity, and something else. There's quality, clarity, and cut. God bless it. What is that called? Is it cut? Thank you.

Yes. It's like the three C's, but it's not the Cs because its quality is Q. But it sounds like it's the three Cs. But when I looked up this company that I looked up, it's called Brightco, and they had great information about it. So it says that they are seeing growth in demand for the lab-grown, even though natural is still surpassing lab-grown. But a lot of people don't know about lab grown like myself

they have seen um a growth in um in lab grown uh diamonds from millennials and gen zers makes like the younger generations they're going for this versus the natural right which if that's the case you think about this if that's the case then that means so many people are going to stop going to the natural after a point right they're not going to go from the natural anymore they're going to go with the lab grown because they're going to be like why pay more right but if i get the same quality right exactly eventually the natural is going to kind of like they they're going to flip spots, if I were to guess. Yeah. Why wouldn't they? They say traditional preferences around engagement rings are changing to reflect their values,

but even with the growth in the lab-grown diamond sales of natural or earth-mined diamonds continue to dominate. Not for long. While the average expenditure of a diamond engagement ring rose to $7,011 in 2021, a 6.1% increase over the previous years. One year, a 6% growth in cost. That's ridiculous. The share of lab-grown diamond engagement rings grew from 19% in 2020 to 24% in 2021.

That's significant. Lab grown diamonds cost about 30% to 40% less than natural or an earth mined diamonds. Makes sense. Why would you pay that? Why would you pay 30 to 40% more when you can have the same thing? I was blown away. I mean,

they have the, what do they call those? Synthetic gems. What are those called? That are mean, they have the, what do they call those? Synthetic gems? What are those called that are like, they're fake, but they're not like lab grown. They're legitimately not a real gem. Cubic zirconium?

Yeah, but is that a synthetic? Cubic zirconia is exactly the name I was thinking of. Yeah, it says buy synthetic gemstones for sale. That's what I'm finding, looking. I was thinking of. It says buy synthetic gemstones for sale. That's what I'm finding. Imitation, diamond. For me,

I bought those. I buy those because they're like hundreds of dollars versus thousands of dollars. It's like costume jewelry. I'll do that all day long. That doesn't bother me a bit. And the money that you're saving,

you can put towards the wedding. True. Hello. Or the honeymoon. Or the honeymoon. Or your house. I mean, actually, honeymoon makes way more sense to me.

That's so true. Like, why would you do that? And then I was looking at all these different diamonds. You can't tell the difference. I know. No, you can't. It's insanity. I was shocked. Like, different diamond. You can't tell the difference. I know. No, you can't. It's insanity. I was shocked.

Like this was such a great question for me because I was like, wow. Yeah. Holy moly. Cool. So for me, I say be a good steward of your money. Don't pay that. Don't pay that. How many?

What is it? It's 30, 40 percent less don't pay all of that difference for a natural diamond when you can get the same exact thing quality wise right and a lab grown there's no difference why would you do that i'm not about being cheap but i'm like look at look at the cost effectiveness of this be a steward a good steward. Like you guys said, put it towards your wedding. Put it towards your stinking honeymoon, which is basically that 30 to 40, depending on how much you spend on the ring,

that could pay for the whole honeymoon. Yeah. Two for the price of one. Yep. I mean, would you guys do it? I would. Yes. For sure.

Would you do it? 100%. I haven't worn a wedding ring in, I don't know, many years. See, I don't wear a wedding ring a lot. I mean, I have really nice rings. I do. I have a very nice ring that I haven't worn in a really long time. But I have nice rings, and then I have the cheapolas.

I don't wear a ring a lot too I'm like you it doesn't really matter but some people I often wonder why they felt like um why do you like if it bothers you like I would never do that like check the heart like what is the reason why are you uh keeping up up with the Joneses kind of person? So you have to be able to tell people so that you think that they think, oh, look at her or look at him or whatever. Because guys can be just as catty about that stuff, too. Like, I paid this much for my whatever.

And I'm like, why do you have to do that? That's a heart thing. And I'm not saying if you want a natural diamond, it's wrong. I'm saying, why do you want the natural diamond? Or why does the ring have to be a certain size? Why do you demand? Because I've known people demand that when they get their engagement ring, it has to be a certain size. It has to be a certain look. It has to be a certain look.

Or they don't want it. And I'm like, what's the reason behind that? Is so that everybody oohs and aahs over it? So that you may, I mean, a lot of times people want people to be envious of them. Or covetous of what they have. That's just as bad as the person who is envious or covetous or jealous. What's the heart behind what we want and why we want it? And if it is not spiritually sound or good,

you need to check yourself. Facts before you wreck yourself. That's right, girl. You really need to check yourself because spiritually you're off. 100%. And a lot of times people never even think of these things um they just think well i want what i want why do you want what you want what's the reason behind it

everything you should do you kind of should evaluate what's the reasoning and the heart behind it because that self-evaluation will keep you from going down a very long dark path a lot of times people don't even know they're on a long, dark path because if they would have just looked at the very first step they took down that path to say, is this good? Is this spiritually correct? They would have never taken the second step or the third. But eventually Satan is so cunning and he's so deceiving. You're halfway down this bad path and you don't even know it because you've been lulled to sleep. That if you would evaluate yourself and your motives behind what you do,

you would stop yourself before you ever even take the second step. Most of the time we don't though. So any thoughts on that, ladies? Yeah, no. Very interested to see how this will change generation to generation. I think it's going to dramatically change the younger generation because I don't think they're going to care. I know.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, and I think the actual value of real diamonds is going to go down. That would be interesting. That's exactly what I think is going to happen because they're going to have to compete. Yeah. Right. And hey, listen,

there's something good about competition. Mm-hmm. True. And because if you look at the jewelry business, what is it when people, when there's like a hurricane and people come in and they price things high, what's that calledouging gouging price gouging what's happening is in the jewelry business they have it's not just price gouging it's called something else

but in the jewelry business the ceiling of what things actually cost and what they're actually selling them for is outrageous. It's like in some cases, 300% higher than the actual value or the price. That's why I don't go to jewelry jewelers and I don't buy anything from them. Never. I won't because they price gouge. I know this because I've known people in the jewelry business. I've also known this because I've done research on it. And the market value is outrageous in comparison to the true value of, so the retail and the wholesale, it's insanity. Well, just go to a pawn shop. Right. Yeah. And you'll see it. Like when you walk in there and you want to sell your whatever to them,

what are they going to get? Now, they'll do this across the board, but you'll see it more in jewelry than you will in anything else. What they're willing to give you for that piece of jewelry and then what they're willing to sell it for after, it's not good. So the retail market value is way higher than the wholesale it's outrageous yeah they think very long and hard before you go to a jeweler and you can negotiate on all that stuff and a lot of people don't know that either you don't have to pay what the sticker price is on that ring or that piece of jewelry negotiate it's the

way it is and if they don't want to sell it to you there's a lot more jewelers out there who will a lot of people don't know that either so anything else no one last question okay what is your favorite val's Day memory? Oh. I do not have one. I haven't been in that many relationships in my life, to be perfectly honest with you. I've only had two boyfriends, Tom and somebody else, and the other one was a piece of poo, so that don't count.

And Tom and I don't even, Tom and I haven't even uttered Happy Valentine's Day to each other so far. Jeff and I looked at each other yesterday and we're like, we're not doing anything right. I'm like, no, you're good. Yeah. Yeah. Like for me,

like it's not even, is that bad? I don't think it's bad that I just, like for me, I just don't care. Now I get it if, if this is really, holidays are the only day that you really ever get acknowledged yeah then it might be really important and it might feel really great yeah yeah true that's true and I can see that but I

really don't give a flying flip about it doesn't make a difference to me at all I don't I don't know I'd rather get a card on a different day than on Valentine's Day yeah I do have a story though oh please share so this was before we started dating but Jeff confessed his love for me on Valentine's Day. Like, first time he said I love you? Through an email. Oh, my God. Like, he was interested. Because back then, we did emails. Oh, my gosh.

And he sent me, I mean, this heartfelt email. And I responded with, Thanks, but no thanks. I think you're a really nice guy. And friend zoned him. On Valentine's Day? On Valentine's Day. On Valentine's Day. Wow.

I know. I know. But he kept pursuing. He didn't give up. He's a shark. Never give up. So he kept pursuing. The third time around, I was like, all right, I'm just going to, I'm going to, I'll agree

to lunch. Poor guy. I'll go to lunch with you. Made me laugh. And I was like, all right. I think I'm going to keep you around. But yeah, I completely friend zoned him on Valentine's Day. And that was probably the last email, like heartfelt email I've ever gotten from him.

That would make sense. That would make sense. Oh my gosh. Okay. That's what you get. Do you have one Tracy? My favorite Valentine's memory is from today, from this morning when I realized that I already bought Jer a Valentine's day card. So I was like opening up everything. I always get the girl something. And so then of

course Jer, he loves gifts too. So I got him some stuff. And I'm like, oh, I already got him a card. Like, well, I have two cards. What do I do with the second card? And I was like, oh, I already got him a card. Like, well, I have two cards. What do I do with the second card? And I was like, I'm going to chat GPT something. So I did roses is red, violets is blue. I don't even know the rest of it because it was from chat GPT. And then I signed it. Love Tracy and chat GPT. Oh.

Oh, my God. I like it. Because Jer knows how much I love chat GPT. So I would feel wrong leaving chat GPT out of my Valentine's Day. That's dang awesome. So that was my favorite memory. But I'm indifferent. Like, if it's an opportunity to celebrate and buy somebody something and have fun, yeah, I'm all about it.

Hey, listen, when my kids were little, I loved Valentine's Day. Right. I know. I mean, I loved Valentine's Day. I just, just loving on them. Yeah. But. Right. I know. I mean, I loved Valentine's. I just, just loving on them. Yeah. Yeah. But it's like, I don't know.

I just don't really care. I know. It's true. I know. I don't know. I think Valentine's Day is for like new relationships. Yeah. Like couple.

Yes. Yes. Era. I know. And then to go out on Valentine's Day. Oh, it's a mess. Like Natalie said, I won't do. I'll never do that.

I will not go out. I did that one time and I was like, that was the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life. Because it's like, everybody's like frantic. I'm like, oh yeah. Well, the grocery store right now is like frantic. Oh yeah, Walmart yesterday. Walmart yesterday was a mad house. Really?

There's a bunch of men buying bouquets of flowers right now. That was Jared's morning. I'm like, guys. Calm down. Valentine's Day lands on That was Jared this morning. I'm like, guys. Calm down. Valentine's Day lands on February 14th every year. No. Okay? Like, you could have planned ahead.

Oh, my gosh. I had no idea. Yes. It is a madhouse out there. I don't think even when Tom and I were dating, Valentine's Day was, I don't know. I mean, we were with each other every single day. Right. So, I mean, there wasn't a i mean we were with each other every single day right so i mean every there wasn't

a day that we weren't together pretty much for the three years except for the moment the momentary times he broke up with me yeah but even when he broke up with me and he was trying to get back where he might not even trying to get back with me we were still hanging out i know it's the weirdest thing so it's like psychotic yeah I don't know it was a weird thing but I just we never did any of that yeah but I didn't care like I literally forget about he's right I'm not great with numbers yeah I forget about dates I forget about everything's on my calendar or I forget right what about you Sarah do you have a great Valentine's Day? My wedding. What?

Yeah, today we've been married 21 years. It's our anniversary. Way to blow it out of the park. Good job. A Valentine's Day wedding? Yes. Holy crap. And I did not wear white because it was not my first wedding.

But Derek did. Derek wore a white tux. It was his first wedding. Did you wear black? I wore like a blush pink And then our bridesmaids were Like the color of your blazer Cute

Very Valentine's Day It's also my anniversary and we are going out to dinner Tonight Good luck And they won't be sleeping in separate bedrooms Are you guys sharing a blanket tonight? If I'm lucky, I will. Where are you going to dinner?

I believe we're going to Carmelo's. Oh, that's a good one. Where's Carmelo's? Is it in Punta Gorda? I know where it comes from. So good. That's a great place. It's like homemade pasta.

Yes. Italian. Which he doesn't like so he you know we go there because it's for me man it's so good that's sweet that's my favorite

but I love it everybody's saying happy anniversary to you by the way aww thanks guys 21 years of wedded bliss

last year we went on our 10 day cruise oh yeah that's right I remember you had a killer tan. That's true, you did. I also was using really good makeup

that made me look like I had a tan. So there was that. But you wanted to go on a cruise this year and I was like, You're so busy, man. Yeah, we can't. You guys are super busy. We can't just be like,

bye, we're going to leave for a week, you know? Especially in season. You guys are really busy, like super busy. We are. And it's not getting any, we really need to hire somebody because it's not enough hours in the day to do what we're doing. That's awesome. Congratulations on that.

Starting a business, owning a business is not easy. No. It's not easy. Kudos to everybody owning a business is not easy. No. It's not easy. Kudos to everybody who does. I've done it before. And it's hard work, but man, is it rewarding. For sure. Work for yourself.

For sure. If I didn't work for Jesus, I'd own my own company again. Yep. I would never work for anybody. Unless you're an own private contractor, which sales, you're your own private contractor. So you determine your own success rate. And that's one of the things I think if we can teach young people, don't work for somebody else and make them money. Work for yourself and make your own money.

Yes, that's the only way to build wealth. You'll never do it working for somebody else. No, because all they're using, using you to make them rich. Right, right. That's the truth. They're is you to make them rich. That's the truth. They're using you to make them rich. But if you get into sales or something of that nature, outside of owning your own business,

sales is the next best thing because you determine your fate. I heard something interesting once, and this isn't to like dog on anybody, but a husband once said, why would I send my wife to make somebody else's husband rich? So if you're working for another man and your wife is making them money, why would you not figure out a way that she can make you money and you guys can do it together? So I always thought that was really interesting. Same with your kids. Like if there's an opportunity for them to help you get rich, why not do that versus send them out to somebody else and make that man rich?

Well, because eventually, hopefully, they will inherit the business. They will know what it took to get to that level. And then when they actually run the business, their responsibility level and their integrity and their honoring of you will flow from there.

So, it's super, super important. Thank you so much. Do we have anything else to add? I think that's it. Happy anniversary, Sarah. That is freaking awesome. Thank you for joining us on the Hope Hotline today. Happy Valentine's Day to each and every single one of you. If you don't have a Valentine, I would share mine with you, but he doesn't celebrate. So you're like with me. Make Jesus your Valentine.

Yeah, make Jesus because really that's all I got.'s jesus and me too because we don't celebrate perfect he's a great valentine he's the best of the best but i totally get it like i but but hopefully you're like me and it just doesn't matter if it does matter then we're going to pray you in a valentine but he had better love jesus or she better love Jesus or hit the road, Jack. So thank you so much. We'll see you on Sunday. If you're not in town, please tune into the church on live stream rumble.

What's well, that's it. I would only do it. I mean, you could probably go Facebook, but I mean, that's always risky. Don't go Facebook.

Let's go. Just go rumble. Yeah. And we will see you on Sunday. Thank you for joining in and have a great weekend. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

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Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye.