The Hope Hotline - What Would YOU Do? Part 3

Episode Date: September 16, 2026

The Hope Hotline | S04-E47 | 09-16-2026

Hello and welcome to the Hope Hotline. Thank you for joining us today. And we're going to continue on with our scenarios. Okay. As much as that scares the both of you. Yep. But what's going on, girls? Not much.

It's like a little rainy today. Like a hot fall day. Vanessa has a new look. Yes. I'm the proud new owner of Bang. You know you love it. They come and they go. They do.

It's true. It's like every six months. You get a wild hair or something. Yeah, basically. That's literally it. Did you cut your hair shorter? No. I didn't touch the length this time.

That was a couple of, like that was like a month ago. Yeah. When I gave myself layers. Yes. Yeah. I know. You scared us all. She documented it again for us too.

So it's on social media. The bangs are on social media. Yes. She didn't even use scissors. No, I couldn't find the scissors that you bought me for my birthday that one time. So I just found like craft scissors. Yeah. And she didn't have our contacts in. So she took our glasses off and was blind.

And I did it all blind. But they look great. I never doubted myself or my ability. I watched one tutorial one time this morning. And that's all she needed. And I was locked in. Locked and loaded. Yep.

Now she has our fall hairstyle. Oh my gosh. For now. I can't live any other way. No, you can't. And I don't think we should expect you to, be honest with you. When do you think the headbands are coming out? Hope.

This week. Probably next three weeks. This week. By fall. Official. Oh, man. Oh, my gosh. Love it.

She'll get tired of it. Jeff doesn't know yet. She'll get tired of it in like three weeks. And the headband will be out. I'm just telling you. Like in three weeks by fall, her hair will be pulled back. At least inconsistently, inconsistent.

Absolutely. Consistently consistent in derangement. You're so deranged. It's unbelievable. Wow. Oh, my gosh. You know what? This is the way God made me.

You be you, man. Mm-hmm. He built you like that. This is my true identity. Your identity is in whatever hope just says. Spontaneousness. Out of control. I like it.

Wackadoosisms. I like it. I like it. Oh, my gosh. Thanks, Kim. What? Kim says, I am always beautiful. With or without babies.

That is true. I mean, you can pretty much do whatever you want. That's part of the problem. The part of the problem is, is if it didn't look good, you wouldn't do it. But because it does look good, your spontaneity increases. That's true. It builds that confidence. It sure does.

Yeah. It's true. If there was a negative, you wouldn't be doing it. I know. Fair. I know. That's fair. That's very fair.

So, guys, have you seen the new? case? Which one? I don't know. I mean, Christians are like jacking us up left and right. Wait. What are we talking about? I don't know. The worship leader?

The pastor's wife? The, well, the pastor and the worship leader he was having an affair with. No, no, no. This is a whole new one. Not Micah. Not Micah. No. This is a whole new one.

No, I don't know this one. His wife has died. He actually tried out for American Idol, American Idol or the voice. I think it was American Idol. Is this AI? No, it's not. Nope. He's a worship leader pastor.

He's having an affair with one of the girls on the worship team. His wife just recently passed away in February. In the case of this year. But what does she die of? Murder. I guess. Well, she was murdered. And his thing is, is somebody broke into the house, killed her.

He found her dead. That's no. Stop it. But yeah, dead serious. And now like. Caleb Flynn. Thank you. That's it.

This is real? 100%. He's accused of killing his wife, Ashley Flynn. Me either. He was arrested in February accused of killing his wife. Indicted on 11 charges, including one account of aggravated murder. And he's pleading not guilty. Yeah, and he was having an affair with a girl in the worship team.

Wait, is this girl still alive? 100%. Well, she's working. She is going to be. She's a witness for the prosecution. I feel like this is going to be a documentary. Oh, they're one. It's not good, guys.

They're giving us a bad name. I was not happy when I saw this. Was not happy. Christian Life Center out of, That's it. Date in Ohio. Yo. Shot dead and her wife.

Yeah, saying it was a burglary call. Uh-oh. Oh, gosh. Not good. This year. I'm all ready to be a juror again. Oh, no. It's going to trial next month, I believe.

Or end of this month. Maybe November. I can't remember. number. It's like within the next little bit and it happened in February. When is it saying that it's going to trial, Tracy? I know. I'm looking. His bond was set.

$2 million. Listen, I feel like we're living in the days of COVID. Everyone's getting exposed literally. Killing people. I know. I saw this one on Facebook. Yes.

That was not good. So many things right now. Like Charlotte County. She was based out of Charlotte, Charlie County. Oh, yeah. She was. Like, it's not good. What the heck? This world, man, it's, it is not good what's going on at all. So. Interesting. Yeah, it is. We're going to have to start a criminal podcast. I think we might. It begins tomorrow. The murder. Trial is scheduled for tomorrow. What time? Thursday, September 17th,

2026. The first part of the jury selection has happened. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's expected to last two weeks. Yeah. It's live streamed.

It looks like it might be reported. Yeah, it'll be live streamed. The court is allowing media, video, audio, coverage. Oh, this can be all over TikTok. All right. Well, case number two. We'll keep an eye on that one. Yeah. It's crazy.

It's literally nuts. That's why it's like, if you want to cheat on me, just leave me. You don't have to kill me. Right. Why don't we have to kill each other? I don't understand. Well, I think that they, I mean, you have to like literally be not in your right head. No, of course. That's crazy. You're thinking about the money.

Like, how am I going to, I need that money? And I'd rather take the risk of killing somebody. I'd be going to jail because what's the difference between jail and not making it? Like a big difference. I mean, what are you thinking? What are you thinking? No. It's crazy.

Crazy. It's not good. It's literally crazy. How do we vet these pastors? You know what I mean? Like, are they okay when they come in and then, like, at some point they like, become crazy? Like what happens? Hope? I don't know.

My gosh. Because like, yeah, like, how do you get past? But then maybe they're okay at some point. And then all of a sudden, something happens. Right. But then I'll do that to you. It will. When you start cheating on your wife, you open up that door. Yep.

Not a good thing. Yeah. I mean, look at, well, look at us. Like, we didn't kill anybody, but look at the road that sin took us. down. Exactly. I mean, there was no hold bar for me. I rewatched that, Micah. You watched it again? I did. Yeah, I did. Oh, my gosh. Did you have questions?

But when he was discovered to be having another affair after Micah, after he getting married with Micah, they brought it to the elders. Yeah. That pastor, that lady did. Yeah, the lady did. Yeah. And the lady. Yeah. And the lady was like, And they did nothing. Well, because they had no authority to do anything. Because he must have founded the church, but you expose

it. Right. You have the authority to expose the truth. So you should expose the truth. You should expose that that pastor is having an affair and you're all stepping down from leadership, but you're not going to be on the board. They had they could have done something.

They chose not to. Whether they're brainwashed or whatever. See, what happens is, is people love position, just like pastors love position and power and authority, which is very, very dangerous. So do people that rise to certain levels in the church because they feel like it gives them clout or gives them some kind of raviitas, you know, like, but it's all like, it's like I was saying to my sister yesterday, I'm like, who cares? Nobody knows who you are. You step out of the four walls of that building,

and nobody knows who you are, and nobody gives a crap. They truthfully don't. So, like, you're going to do all this and create this, like, autonomy, or not autonomy, that's not the right word. Create this, like, way of thinking that you're so wonderful and, like, people just want to spend time with you

or even people want to spend time with you, or even people, wanting to spend time with somebody, like a pastor or somebody in leadership, that's that mental, that mind game or that thought process is, is warped. It's off. It's not correct. You should never be like that. You should never feel like that. And so people pine for position and then people pine for being friends with people with positions. And the truth be told is, in reality is, is nobody knows who these people are, nobody knows who you are,

and no one gives a rip on top of that. It's like I said to my sister, I'm like, I mean, we all know who major artists are in the Christian realm, but you walk out of the Christian realm in the secular world. Nobody even knows who these people are.

You say the name Phil Wilkham to an unsaved person, and they're like, who's that? Right. And then they're like, so what? Who cares? Yeah. But everybody will be like, ooh, Phil Wilkham.

And like nobody cares and nobody knows who that person is. And to be like that is like ridiculous. You should never be like that with anybody or anything. It's not, it's a, it's not a good mindset. And the fact of the matter is, is people are going to let you down and meet everybody, including me, Tracy, Vanessa, Taya, normal. Everybody fails. Everybody lets people down.

and you're going to be sorely disappointed because that's just life. Yeah. It's just life. And nobody's got it going on. But that's how people, that's how people get brainwashed. That's how all those people, it's like Tom was saying on Sunday, all those people being sitting in that sanctuary of that church and knowing he has had an affair, married to the woman he had the affair with. And everybody went to that wedding and acted like it was okay. It's not okay.

I know. Such a mess. Wild. Such a mess. But that's because people chose to ignore truth and righteousness because of some reason, either fear of man or wanting to have some kind of position or clout. Makes sense. That is very, very dangerous. So when you rewatched that, what happened?

What happens? Yeah, why did you re-watch it? Oh, because my daughter wanted to watch it. Oh. And so I was like, I'll watch it with you. Oh, my goodness. And we watched it together. And it was just, yeah.

Not good. Not. My heart was broken all over again. It's very, very sad. Yes. And it's very, very sad that she didn't have a strong enough relationship with God, that even with his rejection, she just didn't focus on God.

Yeah, right. Because, I mean, that's life. People will reject you. Even the person that you are married to, they may reject you. Like, that can't be your end-all be-all. I mean, people date people. They're rejected by them and they fall apart. You should never fall apart.

Should be able to pick up the pieces very quickly. Be sad because obviously you invested in them something. So you're not going to just like not feel anything, but you can't allow them to be the thing that makes or breaks you. And I was explaining to her, like that's why it's so important who you marry. You do not want to marry someone that God has not appointed and ordained and is in God's well.

Like because you can literally change the course of your life. Yeah. True. Yeah. it's so true and on top of that be very picky on who you be very very picky and I will say even this like I've known people

who've married people and in that marriage even later on down the road that person took a really bad road and that other person stayed consistent and the other person didn't and what do you do with that you know God called you guys to be together

so if that person doesn't stick to what they know to be true in living a godly lifestyle or whatever you have to have a strong you have to have a strong relationship with the lord because that person can't be your end-all be-all either sure and a lot of times it is people like allow the relationship they have with somebody to be the foundation of who they are versus the foundation of god being the foundation of who they are And that's very dangerous. I mean, because people are failable. They will fail you.

Even like, it's so sad, but lots of times people, they look at their parents and they think that'll last forever, which you hope that it does. I mean, you want it to, especially if they're believers and stuff like that. But that foundation is built on that for a kid that's not married or have somebody. And then if something happens, like I think of Tom and his parents. When his parents got divorced, that was, like, tragic. I mean, that was like a real, that was very tough for him. And he was even saved, but he was newly saved to a certain extent. But that shouldn't even move you if you have a strong relationship with the Lord

because that can affect your future relationships as well. I just think that you just cannot put your hope and faith in people because God's the only thing. It's true. Yeah. That never, never, never fails you. You just, you got to be super careful with it. That's how people get brainwashed.

They do. I've seen it. It's because they put their faith in man and what that man says. instead of what truth is. I mean, even when you're listening to teachings, like I listen to teachings sometimes, and I will be, I mean, I did it today. I'm like yelling at the person, and they're talking,

and I'm like, that's your opinion. That's not what the word says. Like you're putting things into the word that that's not what it's saying. It didn't say that it wasn't what you're saying, but it didn't say that it was what you're saying. So don't add or subtract to God's word. Like you can't, because you have a theory or a mindset on something,

you can't make it be that by implying that this is what it meant, even though it doesn't say that it didn't imply that and it didn't say that it does imply that. I've heard people like, I mean, for things that they, like, how do I explain it? when people have had theologies and belief systems from demon possession to like whether a Christian can be demon possessed

to a Christian not being demon possessed I've had people give me things that they are believing whatever their stand is on it based on a book or what they believe that they believe happened in that scripture

if it doesn't say that that happened in that scripture, that you can't say that you believe, the reason you believe what you believe, what you believe happened in that scripture. Okay, it doesn't say that that's what happened. So you can't say that that's what happened. So you can't build what your belief system is on that. I don't, like for me. Yeah. Because like if you, like I say a lot time, if you get a Jeep, everywhere you look, you're going to see a Jeep. Right. So if you start to decide that you believe this like theory that you've made up that makes sense in your mind you're going to see that everywhere now and it's not even scriptural you know so and it can like really it can really distort

what the truth is because now you're reading the bible with that thought that you made up you're looking for it in the bible versus just reading the bible and asking the lord to like give me revelation you don't you're not going in trying to find something to make it make sense you're just going in as an empty vessel being like right lord what do you have from me i see people do it all the time They made up a decision. They get very prideful about their decision about what they believe. And then they refuse to hear anything else. And when you do question it, they're like, well, I don't know.

Or the I know. I know. I'm like, okay. So yeah, it is. It's tough, man. That one's a tough one. It really is. I don't know.

So for me, like that girl taking her life, if that's what happened, taking her life because of him. I'm like, you're not grounded in the word. You just did not study it out correctly. And you believe what somebody told you versus what the word actually says. You better know that word and not be movable on it that easily. I mean, you should be open that you might be wrong. Everybody should be open that they might be wrong.

But you better like be able to be proven what you believe right now. And if it's in the word, And it says it's that way, then you're wrong. But if it's somebody's opinion on what they believe that that's what that's saying, then you stick to your guns. And you don't let yourself be swayed. It's super dangerous. Maybe you have some strong people in your life that have proven that they believe what the word says,

in season and out of season. And then if you do get confused or you do have a moment where your mind is very weak, like you have these people that can speak truth to you. Because like was there nobody, nobody was speaking truth to her? Well, you think about it. How many people were following this guy? I know, but like. And they knew what the situation was.

They knew his story. Like, it's like if somebody is coming on the pulpit from the pulpit and saying stuff like if you're not meeting your husband's needs four to five times a day, things are going to be thrown at them and then they're going to give into it on the ninth time if you don't like whether that's porn or whatever and they but you're justifying saying that that's not your fault but you should have done something to make it like like what are you thinking i mean like there's people sitting there listening to that nonsense i know that that parts how so they all that we're attending this church were not in the right head anyway because that's

not scriptural. Like all of them, not one of them was like, something's off. Or maybe those are the people that just like left. They just leave. Yeah. Yeah. It's just. Yeah, but she had really good friends that were there for a really long time.

Yeah, but they are brainwashed. Singing on the worship. But she didn't have anybody. I know. That's really up to us, though, to know our word. It's really up to us to be able to. No. That's number one.

Because if you do, you'll be good. Like if you're reading your word, God is so good. that you can just open up your word and he'll speak to you. And like you will. You'll find the peace from the Lord. And then you'll be like, something's off and you'll just know because it happened to me. Like I started realizing,

I was studying the word, you know, January to September. And I found out in September that my ex was having an affair. And God showed me all along the way. I didn't realize it. But when it all came out, I didn't feel like I was like, I mean, obviously you're shocked. Well, no, I was. I was very, very shocked. But I was, but I wasn't like, how am I going to live?

Like, yeah, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was a little devastated because it's like your whole, your whole life is destroyed at that point. Like, what do your kids do? You're like these, your in-laws aren't your in-law. Like, everything's destroyed. But like, like, you don't feel hopeless. You're just kind of like, okay, this is going to be tough. Like, this is going to be a hard one. And then, but you like just know that your hope remains in him and that he's, he never left you, you never failed to. So I'm not going to now. You don't know how it's going to work. But I don't know, I just never left hopeless. And even in moments where it felt, felt kind of hopeless when things got kind of messy. And so, but yeah, it, yeah, but God along the way.

And then obviously in his grace, like, as the time went on after that, like, he kept showing me back when things would be weird and that he was like highlighting things to me. And I was like, oh, that's what that was. And so, but I was in my word. And so, you know, it really does help. It really does. I just think to myself, like, what the heck? Like, these people, they're like, literally giving Christianity a black eye. But were they really, like, is it more like an associated related churches? Are these people really saved? Are they just saying they're Christians and their lifestyles obviously don't line up because

you're having an affair? But everybody's putting a stamp of approval on it. I mean, there doesn't add up. But we're in a world of grace, grace, grace. So should be really be the. that surprised that things like this are happening in the Christian world. No, but I expect better. Like, I shouldn't be surprised, but I am. Like, this is like not good. Another case. Yeah. So, it'll be interesting how it plays out. But let's, okay, do you want to say, do you want to talk about anything?

And Natalie's coming on Friday. So it's going to be a really good one. Super excited. Actually, some of the stuff we talked about today, we're going to actually dive a little bit deeper. And so not exactly the same, very different, but you guys, I think you'll really enjoy it. We haven't touched on this topic yet with Natalie. So this will be a good one. We got some videos to kind of play and then see her perspective on it. So definitely join us. We'll be here at 3 p.m.

And it'll be a great time with Natalie, as always. Always. That's pretty much it. That's the important one. Hot dog. I can share. I can share. I can share.

We're going to do scenarios. We get two left. And hopefully we're going to get to. through them so that we start fresh next week. Okay. Because we have Natalie on Friday. All right. This is the next scenario.

It's called the secret you shouldn't know. A friend comes to you and says, I need to tell you something, but you have to promise you won't tell anybody. No, thank you. Stop right there. Yeah. And you agree. So it's no stop right there.

Okay. Because you agree. Okay. All right. Then they tell you something. big and now you realize that keeping their secret could allow another person to be seriously hurt deceived or even taken advantage of but you gave your word what would you do do you keep the secret because you promised do you tell the person who's going to be

affected or do you go back to your friend and say you need to tell them or I will 24 hours. 24 hours. And if you don't do it, I'm doing it. Yep. Okay, Norma, nobody can hear you. So, 24 hours. Yeah, I would say, I don't think I'd give my word right away, though.

I would have been like, I need to tell you something. I'd be like, okay, well, I can't promise. I can't say anything because this really depends if this is going to, like, because my youth kids will say stuff. like I want to tell you something, but I don't want to get in trouble. I'm like, just tell me, but nobody ever makes me promise anything. I probably wouldn't accept the promise part. But even if they did, I would be like, we'll see, just what's going on? And I would convince them to just tell me. And then I would, either way, I would say, I'm not going to tell them, but you have 24 hours. And if it was really urgent, it would be, it depends on the scenario. I would, I would be like,

let's go right now. I'll go with you. Like, no. I don't like secrets. So, and then they'll never tell me again. and that's perfect. Yeah, that works out great for you. No more secrets. Yeah. Yeah. It's perfect for you. Right.

Because then nobody will confine in you ever again. That's totally fine. Don't tell you. Don't tell you. Are you the same way? I'm going to tell you. You tell them or I am? Me?

Is that what you are? You tell them or I am? Is that what I would? Yeah, I feel like I would. I feel like I would do the whole thing though of like, well, if it's something that's like affecting someone's life, like, yeah, that needs to be said. So before you tell me, like. Yeah, try to make a pause.

I will tell them if you don't. So you try to, you would try to jump in before they even told you. No. No, but you would try to jump in before they even told you. Yeah. Yeah. But then if they told you, then what would you do? Yeah, that's what I want to know.

I would do the whole like, well, you would have to, you're going to have to tell them or I am. Okay. Yeah. I'd tell them, first of all, I don't like secrets. We don't do that. We don't like secrets. Secrets are no fun. Stupid secret parties and all these things.

I don't like it. I can't do surprise parties because I hate keeping a secret. I feel like I'm lying. No, thank you. You're setting me up for failure. I feel like I'm in a Pentecostal church all over again. You have to like tiptoe everywhere. Literally.

Who knows? Who doesn't know? I felt like I was in trouble all the time. Absolutely not. No secrets. So would you do? I would. If it's, if it's, if it's,

going to affect someone else's life in a significant way, then absolutely, I'd be like, hey, maybe not 24 hours. I don't know. I honestly don't know. Right. Yeah. But I would, I would highly encourage them to, to tell them, and if it's going to significantly impact somebody's life, then, if they don't say something, I will. Okay. Because you said really big. It was really big deal. Oh, yeah. So, yeah. Someone said they missed the question. Do you want to repeat it just so they know? Yep. It says, a friend comes to you and says,

I need to tell you something, but you have to promise you won't tell anybody, and you agree. Then they tell you something big, and now you realize that keeping their secret could allow another person to be seriously hurt, deceived, or taken advantage of. But you gave your word,

what do you do? Do you keep the secret because you promised? Do you tell the person who's going to be affected, or do you go back to your friend and say you need to tell them or I will. That's what it is. So let me ask you this. Are there secrets Christians should refuse to keep? Wait, what would you do?

I've done both. In all honesty. So you've kept the secret? I've kept the secret. Okay. I've had to keep lots of secrets though. I mean, because lots of people come to me and tell me out of confidence, things that, like, pastorally,

speaking. I can't tell. I can't say anything. And I literally, sometimes I hate it, but I'm bound. I don't know if I've ever been asked to keep a secret. Yeah. I've, like, I've had to. I have one. Oh, when I was 15. Oh. Okay. I had to keep my best friend's secret that she was pregnant. I can't tell anybody. She was almost a nice. She was almost a nice. month's pregnant. And then she started turning yellow and I got scared. And I told my mom. Yeah, that was good.

So you did tell. Did you give her the option to tell people? Huh? Her liver. She never saw a doctor. She had zero prenatal care. She's probably jaundice. Yeah.

Something. She started turning out. I was like, oh my gosh, I need to tell someone. And I finally told my mom. She got, everybody learned that she was pregnant. And then she gave birth and mother. later. Wow. That's crazy. That's a secret. Yeah. That's a secret. But yeah. So, okay, so yeah. I've done both. I've done both not as a pastor and kept a very big secret. It's,

that's the tweener that I've told you about, whether it was right or wrong or whatever. But in those moments, like, you're like, it's really easy to Monday morning quarterback yourself. But in those moments, really you're like looking at life and you're looking at what that looks like, what that decision one way or the other looks like. And, you know. No, it's true. It's like trying to, it's not that simple, especially when you're younger because you're like, you don't have a lot of wisdom like you do when you're older. And then I've done the other where somebody wanted to tell me a very big secret that I know. knew I was going to have to, that I probably couldn't keep. And I basically said, don't tell me.

Don't tell me it. I know what you're going to tell me. Do not tell me. Because for the rest of your life, you're going to be concerned that I'm going to know your secret and I'm going to share your secret. And it would be far better for you to keep this and figure out what you've got to do with God to fix it and rectify it. And then take it to the right person's person and then or not. That's up to you. But don't tell me. Because the thing is, is once you tell somebody and you feel relieved. And like I said to the person, I'm like, you're going to feel relieved after you tell me.

But it's momentary. It's momentary because you're like, oh, I've confessed this. I've gotten this off my chest. I feel better because I feel so guilty right now. But then after the guilt wears off and, you know, weeks play on, you sit there and go, crap, I told somebody something that what if they ever tell anybody? And then you have to worry about that. So, like, for me, I'm like, don't tell me. I don't want to know.

Like, I don't have that many secrets in life. I mean, I don't really have, I mean, I have things that nobody really knows except for Tom. But, and, you know, a few other people. But if they ever were exposed, I would not be, I would never, like, it would not make me be like, oh, my gosh. Right. I'd just be like, I would hope that that never came out. But now that it has, like, it's under the blood. And it is what it is.

Yeah. I mean, I'm forgiven. So, but you're not that person anymore. Right. Right. So. I know. I mean, I don't really worry about those things.

things because I'm not that person. Like Paul talks about, you know, you were these things and now you're not. And all things have passed away and all things become new. So for me, I'm like, I don't, there's no shame in that and I don't carry it. And so I don't really care. But there are other people that it would be very, it would be very damaging. And I know for a fact that if they were, they would be worried. they would live in fear.

So I know this because I've seen it. Not for myself, but I've seen it with other people. If you don't want to take the risk of somebody telling your secret, don't tell anybody. That's a great point too outside of this. I mean, I am a very confidential person, and I don't share crap. I mean, it's even funny because this person later on tells a person that I know something. and then that person comes and talks to me. I didn't even tell them that they were trying to see what I would say.

And I'm like, I ain't saying nothing. I don't know what you know and I don't know what I know. But I ain't telling you anything. Like, I don't live like that. And then I can live free. Right. True. So, but most people are not like that.

And most people, like, I was a gossip. And I didn't, like, keep secrets. nothing that was big, but I mean, but still, like, don't trust anybody. And sometimes the juicier it is, the more apt they're to talk. Right. So don't. Never share anything that you don't want anybody to know. Right. It's the best thing in life.

Is keeping someone's confidence always honorable? Most of the time, I believe yes, but there are times where you do. You have to give somebody 24 hours. It really depends on the scenario. Because you're honoring yourself and the person that needs to know. Right. Like is it affecting just them, but their family would be upset if they found out? Or is it affecting somebody else?

Like how, like, yeah, it really does depend on the scenario. It will impact somebody else's life. Right. And they have no idea it's coming because I hate being blindsided too. I know. So. Yeah. Like that would be tough to know that somebody's about to be blindsided.

And I know. Like the baby that I'm carrying is not my husband's baby. That would literally impact. to my husband. That would. He's never going to know. But I don't want anybody to ever know. Oh my gosh.

If someone told me that. What'd you do? I would tell. I would tell. I would tell. Like that's a scenario that I would be like, if you don't tell him in 24 hours, I'm going to. I would literally be like, don't tell me. Like, again, don't tell me anything that you don't want somebody to know or you don't, like,

some secrets are best left with yourself. Yeah, figure it out. Keep it to yourself. Yeah, like if you want to tell me your secret and you want me to help you with it. Okay. Process it. Right. And then we'll make this known and work through it afterwards.

But not just to keep. So I have to keep your secret. No, bro. Thank you. Like, what? Keep your own secrets. Not interested. Not interested.

Oh, my gosh. No way. What if someone, what if you know somebody is stealing? Yo. Is it like a felony stealing? Or is it stealing? Okay. I mean, is it paper clips at your office?

Right. Right. That's the level of stealing here. Yeah. Both of it's, I mean, all of it's bad. So I would,

if it was like felony, like if they were like stealing data off this computer, it depends. Like I would go to certain people over it and be like, I literally like if for somebody who's in here and I could tell they were coming in and stealing like passwords and stuff, like I would go to you and be like, hey,

I saw them doing this. I know what I saw. But if they were coming in here and stealing candy, I might like make a joke and be like, hey, does anybody invite you in there to go get some candy? Like, just to kind of see how they were. Because some people are like, oh, I don't even think about it. Like, they really are. Like, people are kind of delusional sometimes and think they can get whatever they want.

Oh, yeah. So I think, yeah, that, that I probably would say something because I feel like God, like the Holy Spirit would like. Prompting you. Yeah. Like I'd have like some kind of grievance that if, especially if it was wrong. Like if it was like a little kid coming in here and getting candy, I would probably joke with them if, if I know they weren't supposed to be in here. and then be like maybe ask next time. Like if I'm in the hallway, like ask me first or something.

But if it's like an adult stealing data or I don't know, the stuff behind there that nobody knows about. Yeah. I would tell the right person. So I don't know if I would confront them though. That might be different than everybody else. Would you confront them? So I kind of have a scenario. Oh.

Okay. Where a real life scenario? It is a real life scenario. She was hoping you wouldn't ask. I won't name names or anything. But we were staff members at a church and we lived on the property. We lived in like a personage and this was back in California. And a part of our salary was like health insurance and all these like different benefits.

But they had a huge like meeting saying how the church was like running out of money and everybody has to like sacrifice their benefits. and they were cutting back on all these things. We were like, of course. Like, we will absolutely do that. And we were like, yes. Like, you know, whatever, whatever it takes. And then, like, the day after Jeff is at the printer, and God is so good because he will show you things.

Right? Yes, he will. And he was at the printer and he grabbed his papers that he printed out. And then alongside of his papers that he printed out was the breakdown of, like, the financials of the church. And it turned out that they could no longer afford our like small little benefits like health insurance because the pastor's kids all drove outies and the church was paying for their card notes.

But that wasn't at the previous meeting and that was not shared. That information wasn't shared with us. it was on a completely separate like budget, budget flow, whatever that stuff is called. And so they completely lied to us and they were stealing from us. What did do. And so that's, and so we did. We had to confront them. And that's what caused us to leave.

Did they ask you to leave? We, I'm not sure how it went down. I think we put in our two-week notice. I think we did. And before we confronted, okay, now I know. Before we confronted them, we secured an interview in Alabama because we knew as soon as we confronted them

and put in our two-week notice, they were going to ask us to leave the premises, which actually happened. Yeah. Wow. No, just the leadership. Yeah. What did the leadership say?

I don't I honestly don't know I blacked out most of that time I had two small babies Jojo was like a year old no maybe like a year and a half old Emma was like nine months old I we were packing up our whole life in California and and and that's crazy packing our minivan and moving to Alabama with just a promise of an interview that's crazy Holy moly huh yeah yeah and so when we when we went to Alabama and we interviewed for that church and they were like all right yeah we decided that we're gonna you know hire you on do you have to go back to California and grab yourself we're like no all of our stuff is here oh my gosh they must have been like what oh there was no plan B really it was either this or we're homeless that's crazy

that's crazy yeah I had an aunt in Florida that said would that she said she would take us in if didn't get the the position. But that was, that was, that was pretty much, yeah. So,

I know. So by the time I got to Foundation Church, I literally was battled. Oh yeah. You are. I was beat up. Seriously beat up.

Yeah. Holy crap. I know. On that note, I'm sorry. No, that's amazing. That's it.

That's crazy stuff. See, I've seen where church budgets have been very deceptive. Yeah. They show one thing to the staff and to the congregation, and then they shift and move the money around after that to where they want it to go. It's not good. No. Yeah. That is not good, guys.

I mean, you're lying. I don't get, I do not understand how people think that that's okay. Yeah. Me either. I just don't Proverbs 1222 says The Lord detest lying lips But he delights in those who tell the truth

And Ephesians 425 says So stop telling lies Let us tell our neighbors the truth For we are all parts of the same body Stop agreeing to keep secrets Before you know what the secret is And that's wisdom Yeah

So Tracy is correct Oh One for Tracy Here is in the next scenario We got 15 minutes Someone who hurts you want you back in, wants to be back in. So someone seriously hurt you. Maybe it was a friend, a family member or a spouse, someone in church, someone you trusted. It took you a long time to get past what

happened. Then one day they came back. They apologized. They tell you God has changed them and they say they've repented. And now they want the relationship back. Then they say the Bible says you're supposed to forgive me. What do you do? Do you let them back into your life? Do you give them another chance. Do you forgive them but keep your distance? And how do you know whether they've actually changed? Well, I mean, you know people buy their fruit. So I'd have to be like, I'd have to wait to see your fruit. Like, I'd have to constantly see you act a certain way. And then of course, over time, but your fruit needs to show. Right. And I can forgive you and not grant you access. Oh, yeah. 100%.

earning trust back is huge. Yeah. Like, I'm less likely to let you back in, to be honest with you. It depends on the hurt and depends on what happened. But I'll forgive. I always forgive. Right. But Tom always says to me, you know, you've got to like not close the door completely.

And I'm like, do I? I'll consider. Do I really like, especially when it comes to, trust because that's huge. That's huge. So I don't know. I'm not quick to let people back in. I'm quick to be nice and kind and polite.

I'll be Christ-like, but I'm not quick to like, let's embrace you back into the fold. Now. What about you, Tracy? Yeah, I put people in. little categories. So I don't do like all or nothing. Everybody's kind of in their own little category. But as soon as you break the trust from me, like you're like over here. I like your arm's length now. Like I'll forgive you. Like whatever. People make mistakes. I want forgiveness. Like I get it. But like to bring

you in like to things that I'm thinking about like for the future or like stuff that like I haven't maybe announced to a bunch of people. Like I'm, you're not going to have access to that. you're not. And so will you never not have, I don't know, but it's definitely, it would be a while until, and it obviously depends on what exactly went down. But I don't know. Like, I forget people pretty quickly, but it doesn't mean that they have access, like Vanessa said, like they did before, maybe ever, you know? Yeah. Yeah. I'm not, I'm not the one. I don't like. Depends on their age too, if they're really young. Truth. You know, like when I was, was really young a couple my friends said something and I'm like that's not even like my character like

like why would they say that and then but like they're a really good friend of mine now they were so young and um but we were both so young and but it hurt me like I was like what and then like and then I was like well I said stupid things so you kind of like yeah yeah you look at the age and you just are like you're idiots it's like what I said like the things that you would do when you're younger the wisdom isn't there behind it. So sometimes you're just like, you probably would have done that differently now that I'm older.

100%. You might not. Right. But the odds are pretty good. You probably would because you see things in a different light. Right. Right.

Being my age now, I'm like, even in my 30s, I'd be more apt in my 30s to be like, I don't know about that. Yeah. I know. When you get out of your 20s, you really realize. Like, I made some really dumb decisions in my 20s.

Yeah. I have more grace for people in their 20s because they're walking around without zero frontal lobe. Till the 25, yeah. Not fully farmed yet. That's what they have, like, moments of like sparks of like really, like, wow, that was really wise. And then all of a sudden it's like, what are you doing? Like, what was that? Literally.

I know. Why is that the last thing to develop? It's your like problem solving, critical thinking. I'm sure there's a good reason. I'm sure there is. We probably need to research that before Friday. There's something. But it does.

It like literally. And I didn't even know about the frontal lobe until. Yeah. I don't know. In my 40s. But it makes sense. Yeah. And I just remember telling my friends like when I was like 28, 29, I'm like, man, when I turn 25, like, I know.

It felt like a light bulb went off over my head. Like, you're an idiot. Like, what were you? What are you? You thought you knew everything. You know nothing. But I didn't know about the frontal lobe. And then it made complete sense to me when I found out that 20.

I'm like, that's when it happened for me, 25. I was having kids without frontal lobes. That's scary. Same. Two at one time. That's frightening. This is crazy. But it's also like so delusional that like everybody's like everybody's like so upset about

things. And I'm like, I don't know. I guess that's, you should be upset about. that. Like, I had, I was just living my life. All these people over, all these moms overthink everything. And I'm like, oh, I didn't even think about that. Literally. Gosh. So you're invincible and the kids were too. 100%. 100%. Yep. Little did you know. Eating my kids cereal at like, absolutely cheerios. Oh my gosh. Wait, listen, my doctor, I was just telling somebody with this. My doctor, when Tommy was like, I don't know, six months old, he was hungry. And he's like, feed him.

I'm like, I can. He's like, yeah. He puts some cereal, dry cereal, put some cereal in that bottle. Because I breastfed, but I also had to supplement because he just wasn't getting enough. And like, he's like, yes, it's your baby. You do what you want. I like that doctor. He wasn't big on vaccinations and everything else or antibiotics, nothing.

He's like, if he's hungry, feed him. I'm like, I love you. Because my mom kept saying, put some cereal in that. thing and I'm like maybe I will and then I went to him and I was telling him he's like yeah put some cereal in that bottle you know what's the newest trends um giving your baby like a teaspoon of butter right before bed and it keeps them um sleeping all night long really yeah yeah it's something about the butter it's a slow fat release yeah interesting and so they stay full interesting I was like man I wish I have known that trick. I'll try for you guys.

I think. Okay. You let me know. A teaspoon? Yeah, like a little teaspoon of butter with their their bottle at night. So do you put it in their bottle? So I've seen it. I've not seen it that way. Like do you feed the bottle and then give them like a teaspoon of of butter in their mouth? Interesting. Yeah. My kids slept through the night at six weeks. My kids did not. Both of them. Six weeks, sleeping through the night, if not before.

That's crazy. I don't even know what that's like. Yeah. How is life for you? Great. Literally. It was great. Prayer.

I just prayed, man. Me and Tom are like, we like to sleep. So make sure these kids sleep. Oh, same. I did not get that blessing. You just didn't have the face. I guess not. Yeah, because I prayed.

I definitely didn't have. I didn't pray help me in my unbelief. That's the prayer. I forgot. There you go. There you go. Luke 17 3 through 4 says, so watch yourselves. If another believer sins, rebuke that person, even if there's repentance, forgive. Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks for forgiveness. You must forgive. So we don't give permission to whole bitterness, but John the Baptist said in Matthew 38, prove by the

prove by the way you live that you have repented of your sins and turned to God. That's what Talia was saying. You'll know them by your fruit. So basically, don't tell me you changed. Right. Show me. Show me you changed. Demonstrate it because that's what it's all about.

And then, and only then, will somebody truly reconcile, bring you into the fold, and trust you once again. Yeah. Otherwise, like, you haven't earned that right as far as I'm concerned. Yeah. I think people who just bring people in, like, rush to bring people back in and just trust them blindly. The word blindly is quite accurate. You're not thinking straight.

you know that person may or may not be everything they claim to be and most of the time they are not yeah that's the truth so narrow is the way few there be that find it that's a truth so when we ask what would you do we're usually answering based on personality wouldn't you say that's true so because some people are confrontational like me some people are like uh Even though I think Vanessa can be confrontational. I don't love it. You're going to be more apt to not reconcile, but talk things through. I'm not going to be.

I'm going to be like, I'm going to confront and I'm going to confront immediately. You're going to be more, you're not going to be as aggressive. And then there's people that'll just quit on you. They'll be just like, I'm done. I'm out. They won't even talk. Right. So based on somebody's personality is the way that,

somebody is going to respond to a situation. But that's not really, as Christians, that's not really the option that we have, right? We as Christians have to forgive, even in so much you forgive, you're forgiven. So you have a lot to be forgiven of. I've got a lot to be forgiven of. That doesn't mean you give them a second chance

to come in and do what they did to you in the past. What that does mean is you forgive them, and then you let them show whether or not, They are truly repentant because repentance means you do the exact opposite of what you're asking forgiveness for. And again, like Talia said, their fruit will show that. And then trust can be restored. I mean, I'm big on redemption. Me too.

Because I, thank God, I've been redeemed. But I had to prove myself with redemption. And I, again, don't look like anything like I did. I don't even look like I did when I was saved prior. So, like, you should every single day be a different person than you were the day before. That's the goal. Yeah, absolutely. So let me see.

Let me see if there's anything I want to add three minutes. Go ahead. A good heart check, too, is something you usually say, is if you have unforgiveness towards somebody. and you think you've forgiven them, if you saw them on the side of the road, would your first instinct be to go help them? Yeah. And it should be.

Right. If it is, that's a good heart check to be like, okay, if I saw them in a situation that they needed help, I would help them. I might not be like super excited to see them like, yeah,

but you would be like, I got you. No problem. Like, whatever you need. That's like a good heart check to see if like you actually have. Because some people like, oh, yeah,

I forget them. I don't care. But like if you saw them, on the side of the road and they needed help would you just drive by and be like oh sucks to be you yeah like karma or i'm glad that happened to you right exactly yeah yeah is and it really shouldn't be like that so basically in life or not in life basically as a believer do you respond to your carnal nature or do you respond to yeah uh the way that god would have you to to respond to whatever the situation is and proverbs three five through six says trust in the lord with all your heart

do not depend on your own understanding. And that is the key right there. It is not about what you believe or what you understand. Seek his will and all you do, and he will show you which path to take. So you don't need to know what to do. You need to do what the word tells you to do. You need to respond. If you don't know what to do and the word isn't specific and a specific thing,

that's when you seek him out and ask him. And I can promise you, it's probably not going to be what you want to. do. True. But that's how you know that it's really him. You ask him, Lord, what would you have me do? And then he when he tells you, you do it. You don't question it. You don't argue with him. You don't debate. You just do it. And then you'll be satisfied. And it doesn't matter what it looks like, too, because you might do exactly what he tells you to do. And you're like, okay, this will fix something or make it better. And it might not. It's just you need to be obedient and trust because everybody has free will. So they might not respond the way God wants them to. But you, you are,

responsible for doing your part and not worrying about like what happens after that. Yep, agreed 100%. And you'll be one happy camper. It goes back to two. A lot of times is unforgiveness is giving somebody authority over your life. And you never give that to anybody. No matter what you're walking through, no matter what you're dealing with, if your focus is on the Lord, you can deal with those issues, but let him be first. Let him be the ruler and reigning being in your life. And if, again, seeking him first. If you are doing that, then these things, you'll have to deal with them and you'll have to overcome them and you'll have to like, it's just like different things in life. There's sickness, illness, disease. There's times in life

that you need financial provision. All of those things, even when they're, those are in your life, those shouldn't be the very thing that rule you. They shouldn't have authority over you. You look at them. You pray about them. You seek counsel on them. You know that God, first of all, always heals. Second of all, if you're paying your ties, then you don't have to worry about anything. The provision will be there. You just have to then walk it out, trust, and know that God's word is true. And the same thing goes with this. It's just people are way different. I mean, people have personal choice. And the problem is, is when you forgive and then you let somebody back in, they can still come back and bite you in the butt. Whereas healing is a guarantee.

Financial provision is a guarantee. Your salvation is a guarantee. And so when you deal with people, that's a whole other can of arms. I think a lot of people have a hard time. understanding that too because they're like but I prayed and I asked God to do and I'm like right but everybody has free will that's the problem at what point does God come in and take away free will never never so yeah when it comes to you and you alone yep there's promises that you can stand on and remember this people ebb and flow with the Lord yes they do so if people ebb and flow with you how are you you're not any different than him right so and how does he handle it he gives people what they give and then he lets them like he is not begging

but he is waiting. And maybe that's what you just need to do. You forgive. And then if they want to be restored or the opportunity arises itself, you redeem them. Otherwise, you go about your life. You live it to its fullest extent. And you seek him first and see all the things that he has come your way. It's very freeing.

I mean, it's not always easy because you've got to overcome your feelings and emotions. But it's actually possible. So do it. I mean, Jesus walks around with you. Judas. Yep. Fully knowing that he would betray him. Fully knowing.

And still loved him. He did. Yep. So true. Great point. All right. On that note, we will see you on Friday with Natalie. It should be fun.

I know it always is, but this is going to be a good one. So you won't want to miss. Have a great day and evening. And guess what? It's cooling down. Okay. The weather is dropping some degrees. I did see that.

This morning was. 78 degrees when I walked my dog. Wow. It's supposed to go into the high 60s by Friday. Oh, oh. Yeah. That's not the high. No, right.

That's okay. Yeah. That's a good direction. Yeah. We'll take it. That's a good start. Yeah, I'll take it. I mean, I'll take it.

Have a great day. See you Friday. Bye.