The Horror Returns - The Action Returns - Ep. #48: Amityville Uprising (2022)

Episode Date: January 27, 2022

This episode Brian and Nez take a trip out east to Long Island to the village of Amityville to help the local police fight off the living dead in the 2022 action/horror film AMITYVILLE UPRISING.   Join The Action Returns Facebook group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/841619946357776   Follow The Action Returns on IG and Twitter: Instagram: @theactionreturns Twitter: @action_returns    Check out everything Horror Returns at: https://thehorrorreturns.com Join The Horror Returns Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1056143707851246 THR Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thehorrorreturns   Join the THR Presents: Stream Fiends Facebook Group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/3860579827402429 Follow THR Stream Fiends on IG: @thrstreamfiends

Acid rain is on its way to Long Island. I'd say that rain is turns into a highly corrosive form of hydrochloric acid. I don't know the extent of what it can do. A contagious curse. Ma'am, I can assist you. Man, please come back inside. It's raining. Once it makes contact. Naira!

What happens to me? Brain. Jeez, medical degener, doc. I'm a board technician. What do you want me to do? It consumes you. Clear the station and head out to the alleyway. That is acid rain.

We need and are going anywhere. Guys, there's something in here with us. That thing was a man. This is killed a dead guy. Tank Jones, Michael Ferguson. We need to at least try to make a call for help. Yeah, I'd love to hear that call. This is Amityville Station 3.

We're under siege by zombies. The action returns. I'm your host, Brian. With me as always is my brother, Nez. What's up, man? Yo, we're back, everyone. two weeks in a row two weeks in a row yeah um I'm all right uh if I mentioned it was it I don't know if it was this show or stream themes or whatever but I'm day four and I'm

all right so I hope I'm good hope I'm good I got one more day and then I got to get tested so hopefully everything's all good but were you all right after you watch this movie I'm glad it was only like an hour and like nine minutes, but that's with the credits and the opening credits. But the movie we're talking about is this come out in 2001. Yeah. No, I think it's this year. 2021, 21, 22, something.

22. Amityville Uprising. And the first first entry in the bottom list. And which was crazy is I didn't know this was the Lionsgate film. Yeah. Like what are you doing Lionsgate? You can tell. I mean, there was more of a budget in this than there was in Amityville in the hood.

That was just go fund me money or something. I don't know what. that was but um if you want to brave that one it's on streaming on youtube uh for free so yeah go for it shout out to uh my brother shan c phillips shout up to jennango yeah but uh this was my pick i came across this i didn't know this was a movie um all i know is amityville shark is coming and amityville karen and amityville something's or rather there's more amityville movies coming i don't even know what what uh number of this is in the franchise i think it's probably in the 30s by now but um well really count this to the franchise

it would happen in amityville they mentioned a little bit of uh what happened at the amityville house um so I guess. I mean, well, at least Amityville in the hood. It at least some scenes took place in that house. That does.

And that was a, at first I was like, is that the real? It was like, it was a model. But anyway, enough of that movie. Go watch it on YouTube.

Amityville possession weed. Yeah, all right. But this one, this is the one I came across. I just, saw a poster for it and I was like what so I because you see the guys two guys standing there with guns and I'm like what are they shooting at demons in this so I'm like all right

found the trailer and I was like all right well we we got to we gotta start this year off with a bang and then this is it but amityville uprising a sergeant from amityville police department must protect his his son from zombies after a chemical explosion at the nearby army base releases toxic gas into the air causing acid rain that remnants or reanimates dead bodies. This is, that was Google IMDB's got the one sentence action going. A chemical blast in a military base. No, wait a minute, that's something else. Oh, a chemical blast at a military base sets off supernatural disaster.

this this tense action horror thriller what all right uh sergeant dash tries to keep the peace at the local police station the explosion unleashes toxic acid rain this is written and directed by thomas j churchill and this stars mike ferguson cole benfield um michael cervantes or whatever thomas j out i don't care that was a The director, Thomas J. Churchill, he is Chuck, the bald gentleman in this. Troy Fulman and then the gals. I don't even know who the main ones were, but there was one guy in this that I recognize, and that's Barry Papik.

He's one of those guys that's in like a bunch of movies. I remember him as Scott the Engineer in Howard Stern's Private Parts. but, ah, man. Brian, what did you think of Amityville

uprising? Fucking hated this movie. For something that was not that long, I was feeling like it went on forever. It was just dialogue after dialogue,

just talking and talking. Just family drama and this Asian lady that was basically like a Karen coming in there complaining and self-entitled. And just, I was just like, when are you going to die? And then when you finally got to some stuff,

nothing really happened. It did. I can't even say this was an action movie. This movie doesn't kick in until 45 minutes in. And a movie's almost over by then. Yes. I was like, what's, what's taking so long? I mean, it started out cheesy and they're trying to make you feel for these characters.

It was more of a dramatic thing, if anything. See, that's the thing. I didn't care about any of them. I only liked one character. And that was, um, what was her name, Rossi? The, the female deputy. Oh, yeah. She was cool.

I mean, I thought she was going to go somewhere. wearing a movie but you can clearly see there was a big budget a bigger budget for this film the the explosion was probably you're talking about the one in the beginning

yeah the very beginning we see an explosion and they were like what the hell is we find out it's some army military base for some reason is right in the middle of a neighborhood and this chemical that's their god blows up and it goes up into the sky

kind of ripping off a return of the living dead and then acid rain comes down and if it gets on you burns your skin kills you or whatever then you become one of the living dead I did I did like some of the practical

effects some of them look pretty good yeah that's what I was going to say out of everything in this that was about the only good thing was the practical zombie effects the makeup of how they looked and when they were chomping on each other. Not so much the gunshot.

Well, no, no, I'm sorry. The gunshots were really bad in Amityville in the hood. But this one at least, it was. What gunshots? Yeah. This one was, there was shooting and everything in it, but it was, it wasn't much. I mean, but that was what started at all. And then it turned into, it was like, return the living dead.

Then it turned into assault on Precinct 13. Um, and then I was like, oh, come on. That didn't even go anywhere. So this, um, there was a lot of characters that she just, like, why? Like, uh, the, the Mrs. Chen character. All she did was come in to pay a ticket and complained about it for 45 minutes and then she eventually gets killed. But I mean, uh, then there, there was trying to, to put a story with, um, um, uh,

this one cop and his son. I was like, really? That didn't really go anywhere. And why? Shit was cringy. I was like. Am I a disappointment to you,

dad? I was like, what is happening? I was like, why are you trying to throw this in there, man? Just give me cop shooting zombies. I mean,

that's all we want to see. And it didn't really nothing to do with Amityville. I guess that's the only way you can get money is if you throw Amityville in the front of whatever Amityville, dollhouse, clown, shark, Karen, uprising. I was like, okay, I kind of had like a little hope for this. They're like, all right, well, this is something to do. They're turning into an action movie now. And there's hardly any action in it. I mean, yeah, 45 minutes in. And then the movie is just about over for about another 15. So I was like, because the credits were like seven minutes long. So we, we hardly got any action. And it was, it was a lot of build up to nothing. I mean, because once the zombies, I mean, once it started raining and people realize

that it was acid rain. I don't know. I guess it was only could burn through your skin because it wasn't coming through the ceilings or anything. But, and that was another thing. All these, all these zombies that were. to turn into zombies from the rain. How come the rain, it was like burning their skin

when they were normal, but when they were all zombies, they just came in and they were like, you could see that they were burned up a little, but you figured them being out in the rain longer. They would have been, and everything would have been all right, but, I don't know,

but, some of them get in, or there's a morgue. No, no, that was that. Yeah, there was a little morgue. the police station for some reason. Yeah, with the, with the coroner guy,

then apparently doesn't like to use napkins. That was, um, the director. Oh. That was him. He doesn't like to use napkins and puts the sandwiches on top of,

on top of corpses and just doesn't really give a fuck, I guess. I didn't understand how the, um, the one corpse that was in, in the, in the freezer.

came to life. I mean, did acid rain drip on them or maybe it was just the chemicals in the air? I don't know. But anyway, I didn't even think about that. That one came to life and came crawling out. And there was one that was crawling on the floor. Because that one little cute deputy chick, she was looking around at the dark and something like crawled by her. But it was like clear as day in the hall. And she looked down like, what was that? How did the one come to life that was on the, it was a chick that was on one of the tables in the morgue. And she looked like she,

because she had the little, the little incision on her chest like they just did autopsy. I don't know. I guess like the one in the freezer that came alive. I don't know. I can understand the first guy, the one cop that went outside and, he got burned by the acid rain and then.

dumbass. I just wanted to peek. Yeah, he went out there and fell on the ground and like seconds later he was a zombie. So I was like,

all right, whatever. But, I mean, that was pretty much it. Once the zombies broke through and the cops

were shooting at him, and it was like, everyone was going down like with the quickness. It was just boom, boom, boom. One after another. The one I did like Mike Ferguson,

he was Detective Lance McQueen. Um, He looked like a big badass, but he didn't do anything. He's the big dude on the poster. But I don't know. They tried to make you, again, they tried to make you feel for each character. And it's just a zombie, regular, typical zombie movie.

I mean, once they break in, they all start fighting them. And then everyone's just trying to survive. And then next thing you know, it's over. I mean, the very ending, I was like, really? I was like Okay, that's how you're gonna end this I mean they tried to make you Feel for this guy

And that was um That was a fucking shitty dad Yeah, what was his name It's like Started something with an H Yeah, because I can't see I don't see it here Uh, because this is Jimmy

That was his son Um, I'm looking for because he's on the poster so I assume that Sergeant Dash Oh that is yeah Mom Scot C Roe All right

He's I didn't Like I said before I just I didn't care I mean you're a shitty ass father Throughout the I would say throughout the movie Because he had to have been reminded by I guess his captain he was like this whole time You haven't checked on your son and then the guy was just kind of like oh yeah

my son's here I was just I don't know that and the the guy that was locked up that was supposed to be a crazy murderer that didn't go anywhere the fucking the news reporter that kind of made it seem like she was going to be a character

that was going to last through this and she was gone just like that there's a lot of characters introduced that just went nowhere what was the guy's name that was in the jail it was like Joe um Gallo or something like that um I don't even see him listed on here

but yeah I mean whoever that bad guy was that they were oh and then the one guy that came to file a missing report on his brother. Oh, he was the one they got, he got bit in the bathroom or something because he went in the bathroom and he did that whole thing where, where he was, it wasn't my fault or was it your fault or I was like, what, what are you talking about? Did he kill himself? I don't know.

I think he like took pills or something because the next thing you know, when, uh, that one little cute deputy went in there. He was in there and attacked her and bit her in the face. I didn't like that. I was kind of like I said, I liked her. I was rooting for her. Yeah, I was hoping for her at least get to the end. And, um, uh, there was,

shit, I was just thinking of them. Um, hmm. Oh, oh, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the prisoner guy or whatever. He unlocked himself and got out of, uh, out of the jail cell. and then I don't know how he turned or what he remember he he stepped out in the hallway and he was like yelling I'm whatever his name was and then like the zombies came up behind him and ate him well that's right that's right they got him but before I mean that news reporter I don't know they so they they show her and the camera guy go down the hall then them the prisoner guy got

out. And then next thing you know that cops looking around, I think it was the chick. She goes into the bathroom and that reporter lady's stabbing this other dude. And I think that was, it was the camera guy. Where did he get bit? I don't know. I was like, what happened? Because she's stabbing him, ah, over and over and over. And that deputy's like, drop it, drop it. What doing? Ah! And then that lady comes at the police, at the, at the cop. I don't know why she didn't shoot her because she had like a screwdriver or something in her hand. She stabs a cop and she goes, ah, falls into the hall. And that's when that zombie

jumps on her and bites her in the face. And I was like, oh, what's happening? I want to see the uncut version because they must have cut out a lot. Because all this stuff wasn't making sense. And how did this guy get bit? How did, I was like, this movie was all over the place. Where did she get a screwdriver from? I don't know. It's somewhere in the bathroom.

I don't know. And the one that was crawling around on the floor, I don't even remember how they got him. Because when the big, big detective Lance McQueen, he was fighting him and Sergeant Dash were fighting off the zombies. And he ended up getting bit in the arm.

And then he kind of just disappeared. I was like, whatever they am? Did they all get him? Because I had to rewind it. And after he got bid, he kind of just disappeared. And then I was like, okay, well, maybe he's going to come back to save the day. Or maybe he got out or something.

I don't know. But when Sergeant Dash finally finds his son, because his son was hiding this whole time, but then he came out of hiding. And then I don't know how the zombies got him because the sergeant comes running around the corner. and she's chewing on it. They're chewing on his son and he's, he's crying. And then I'm looking at the clock too.

I'm like, this is going to be over any second. So Sergeant Dash is kind of, he just falls to his knees and the zombies are slowly, like they're in the room with him. But they're like, slowly creeping up on him. And he's standing in there.

He's got his gun. He pulls it out and he, ah, he like just screams. Then it goes black and then you hear a gunshot. Yeah. Detective Lance McQueen, he was gone. Yeah. Ran out the side door.

And that's a, that's your movie. Which I'm assuming he died because he got dead. Yeah. So I was like, it was like after they show Shud and Dad scream, then it goes black and you hear a gunshot credits. That's the movie.

I was, yeah, I was like, okay, is there? end credit scene because I kind of fast forwarded through all that, nothing. And I was like, that's how you're going to end this movie? I was like,

oh my God. If you're one of those few that have seen every single Amidevil movie, see this one, I guess, just to say, I mean, it's,

this could have just been called uprising or something. I mean, why did it need to be? be set in Amityville. It's got one thing for trivia and it's not even that good. In one shot, in one shot you can see

inside the jail sale and it's obviously made from two by fours that are painted gray. All right, because I was looking at that cell. I mean, he can't, he can just push down those cinder blocks and get out. But I was like, all right, man, whatever. I mean, obviously they built this place to destroy.

But I mean, Again, if you want, if you want to watch it, go for it. I mean, but I'll give it to these guys. They did get Lionsgate to back them. Not to say that that's anything good. I've seen a lot of Lionsgate movies that were garbage. Check out Undead.

If you guys want to watch, um, a Lionsgate zombie sci-fi film. Have you seen that one? No, I was going to say, you want to see bad Lionsgate movies that they're putting out anything with Bruce Willis. Yeah, those two. but yeah check out undead I that was my first Comic Con in 2005 they were hyping that movie up and there was

props for it and those posters the poster look cool the trailer looked cool when they finally came out I bought it when they came out I should have just rented this yeah watch it dude if you can find it watch it and who knows maybe we'll do a bonus or something but

yeah how many of your uprising take it or leave it I don't think I'll ever watch it again and I'm surprised that we got two Amityville movies who knows how many more we're coming

but they're coming yeah yeah am I getting enough to say about this you no well we'll be more entertained with our next movie

next up on the list is going to be Chuck the Chuck Norris classic 1985's Invasion USA Ah awesome film

Yeah come back for that Well there'll be longer episode And we'll be more excited for that than Amityville Uprising I need to stop scrolling around the internet

So All right everyone Yeah Come back for Invasion USA Some 80s canning goodness. So, yeah, that's it for here. So next time, come back and we'll give you some action, at least in the next episode. Because there was

like 10 minutes of action in this movie. In 45 minutes of build up with nothing. But anyway, yeah, Avenueville Uprising. Come back next week for a better movie and, yeah, party on. Be safe and be good to each other.