The Horror Returns - The Action Returns - Ep. #49: Invasion U.S.A. (1985)

Episode Date: February 5, 2022

This episode Brian and Nez help out a former CIA agent track down and fight a Soviet operative and his band of rebels in the 1985 Chuck Norris smash action classic INVASION U.S.A..   Join The Action Returns Facebook group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/841619946357776   Follow The Action Returns on IG and Twitter: Instagram: @theactionreturns Twitter: @action_returns    Check out everything Horror Returns at: https://thehorrorreturns.com Join The Horror Returns Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1056143707851246 THR Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thehorrorreturns   Join the THR Presents: Stream Fiends Facebook Group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/3860579827402429 Follow THR Stream Fiends on IG: @thrstreamfiends

Where's Rostov? I don't know, man. Nobody knows how to find him. He's on the move all the time. Rostov. Nothing only do what he tells me to. What the whole is going. If you come back in here,

I'm going to hit you with so many rides. You're going to beg for a left. I need some passion tonight. I'm back to another episode of the Action Returns. I'm your host, Brian, and with me is my host. the guy that will hit you with so many rights you'll be begging for left or brother Ness

what's up dude that was the best line in the whole film like after I seen it we're talking about invasion USA everybody as soon as I heard that like I I slipped at my daughter and I said the same line and she was like what does that even mean

I forgot how awesome this movie was I had not seen it in a really long time, but oh man. Chuck Norris is the best, everyone. I mean, if you're new to Chuck Norris or just, come on, I don't know where you've been.

You younger listeners, come on, get on it. Go back and watch all the Chuck Norris's movies. Not all of them are good, but the earlier versions. I think when he did that one with Lou Gosser Jr. I didn't really care for that one. I wasn't I supposed to be

adventures yeah yeah yeah but like I said we're talking about 1985's invasion USA

I'm star this year time for dinner no one thought it could ever happen here an army of international terrorists America has not been invaded

by a foreign enemy in 800 years their target America. Their objective, control. Eighteen hours from now, America will be a different place. Now, only one thing stands in their way. It's time to die. See you in hell. You gave them one.

Send me a postcard. Norris. Invasion USA. It's a retired CIA agent, Matt Hunter, forced back into business when a villain from his past reemerges Soviet Mikhail Rostov, a terrorist from whom Matt once caught wants to exact revenge after failing to find Matt at his home. Damn, this is like the whole movie. In Everglades home, Rostov and his army of communist guerrillas began carrying out terrorist acts all over southern Florida. millions of innocent lives are at risk and it's up to Matt the National Guard and the FBI to save them. All right.

All right. Here you go. IMDV. A one man army comes to rescue the United States when a spy attempts in invasion. And this, of course, stars Chuck Norris, Richard Lynch, Melissa Prophet, Alexander Zale, Alex Cologne, Eddie Jones, a bunch of other people. Billy Drago. I'll see if I recognize anybody else.

That's pretty much it. Directed by Joseph Zito, writers James Bruner. Chuck Norris also helped with the screenplay and his brother also helped write this. Aaron Norris. Ness. What did you think about invasion of USA?

say. Really quick. I had to look up the director to see what else he has done. And he's done some good films. I mean, not everything

he's done is good, but Friday of 13th, the final chapter, the first missing in action, Red Scorpion, Delta Force. I don't know which one. That's not the first one. I think it's something. Red Scorpion. Is that the one with um

dothungren. Yeah, he's supposed to be Russian. And it is. Yes. Oh man. I haven't seen this. We might have to dig this one out because I can't have to do it at a long time.

But, man, this movie was awesome. I saw it when it came out back in the day. Um, at this time, I was already in the Chuck Norris films. And I was just like I,

we saw pretty much. every movie that came out action-wise horror-wise, raunchy comedies, everything. So, I mean, you don't even got to explain to me what this movie is about. You just see the poster and you see Chuck Norris. You see him holding guns and you know, other than Canon. At this point, we really didn't know who Canon was and we were little guys. But as we started to see movies, every time we saw that logo, we knew the shit was going to get real. And it got real from beginning to end.

I'm almost convinced at least one stunt person died filming this. Because man. There was one scene. There was an explosion. Oh, the guy sitting at the desk? Yeah. That guy got looked like a dummy. Oh, no, I double checked.

There was, what is the YouTube channel? This guy, Jason Brandt, he does a YouTube. videos with his friend called is it so bad it's good I think it's called and they reviewed this movie and they did a slow motion shot of this scene and that was

a real guy. Yeah, that that was not fake. I mean I don't know if he had some kind of face shield or something on but that blast hit him and I'm sure shrapnel or something flew at him because he seemed like he was close and it

blew him out of his seat. But I was like, damn. I mean, but everything in this, I mean, no CGI. Man,

this is all or nothing days in the mid-80s. Uh, you got Chuck Norris, minimal lines. And I mean, I love Chuck Norris, but you don't go see his movies for, for,

uh, the acting. I mean, is he the greatest actor? No, he's not. He's got a shit ton of movies. But he's a,

to me he's kind of like the Clint Eastwood acting style he's the same character in every role he's in he doesn't get loud he just says his lines and he's just smooth as hell and his hair is just feathered

and the beard is fresh and just he's Chuck Norris man I mean with all the crazy Chuck Norris's movies he's like no man he's sleeps with his what's something about

sleeping with his eyes open or some shit. I don't know. There's so many of those Chuck Norris one. Like when he, when he doesn't do push-ups, he pushes down the world. And just all the crazy shit

about it. But I mean, I think out of all his movies, yeah, they're crazy and cheesy and everything, but this one was in my book, the best one over the top.

There really isn't much of a story. They introduce all these characters, but there's like no, no, you don't care. You just want to see the action. You want to see him kick ass. You want to see him kill the bad guys. You want to see bad guys just destroying America. I mean, we get a great bad guy too at Richard Lynch. Yeah, I mean, I know a lot of people call him the poor man's, Rector Howard.

No, but. I mean, Richard Lynch is one of those dudes that when you see him on the screen, you know he's bad. I mean, even he was in the last movie I saw him in was that first Rob Zombie Halloween. He was the principal. Yeah. In that. And I saw him, I was like, well, that's just what Rob Zombie does. He just brings in all these old actors.

I mean, which is cool, man, giving everyone a job. But he, I don't even know what other movies, Richard Lynch has done. I mean, he's done a shit ton of movies. I mean, he's seems to me always, always the bad guy. He's ruthless in this one. He's shooting motherfuckers and the dick, man. That one chick that was doing lines of coke and he just like pushed her head down and that straw went up her nose. And then he throws her out the window.

I'm like, man, I mean, women got it the worst. to me, it's I remember the first time we saw it. I was like, what happened? What's going on? I mean,

because this movie, it's hour and 47 minutes, but it flies by. I mean, the action just, it just kicks you right in the face right from the get-go.

I mean, some of the, it could have been cut a few more minutes because I think to me, a lot of the shots were like drawn out shots of like all right come on show me something but um the story was pretty much

in that first synopsis brine red we got some terrorist guy that's uh just getting ready to destroy america some russian guy and uh chuck norris is an ex what was he he wasn't c i what was he um just some i don't know some military too I assume. He's a retired CIA. Okay. Yeah. And the story between him is Lynch.

We really don't know. We just maybe he was, he was trying to get him. But he couldn't kill him for some reason. I mean, he wanted to kill him, whatever happened, we don't really go into it. But he's kind of stopped by like basically the law.

Yeah, you can't kill him. So he's like, all right, whatever. So he did his time. and he retired because when lynch starts coming back into America and starts destroying everything and they kind of find out who who's doing it and they go to uh to chuck norris to know what's his name mark hunter no uh matt hunter yeah when they go to see him that's just a badass name matt hunter um and they go to him and they're like hey man uh rostov is back or at that point they really weren't sure they were kind of like well there's this

this is going on but it sounds like the work of rostov and he's like nah i don't i don't want to do it you guys didn't let me you basically you didn't let me kill him the last time so why are you coming at me and he's like you know like all right whatever but i mean that was just how he's kind of got into involved in it but i mean that first scene which is pretty ruthless we got these uh a boat of Cuban refugees come into America and the Coast Guard pulls up to them and they don't know what's going on. We see at this point, well, we know he's a bad guy. We see Richard Lynch, Rostov. He's welcome him all to America.

But his whole crew, everyone's armed with M60 machine guns and rocket launchers and everything. And they just, no love. didn't matter women's children you got gunned down and they just get just massacred on this boat yeah that that one guy with the big machine gun he just kept shooting richard linch's like i say that that's enough that guy is like still shooting it's like they did not care i mean when those guys the bad guys had guns they weren't they weren't standing in a line they were standing like one in front of each other and they were just shooting i mean they could have shot the dudes in front of them, especially that guy

of the big M60. He was just letting everyone have it. But after they killed everyone on the boat, they jump on the boat, they move the bodies out of the way. They open up the secret compartment. It's just full of Coke. So like, all right, well, that's the reason why.

We get back on the shore. The Coast Guard find the boat, the actual, because Rostov and his crew, they hijacked that boat, but they find another boat. with all the Coast Guard bodies in it. Like all of them are in. They're just piled in their dead.

But at this point, we don't know. They don't know why. Rostov gets ashore. He finds this drug dealer, basically going to do a trade for the coke that they had, for weapons and everything. And that was, what's his name?

I was kind of, I forgot he was in it, but I was kind of hoping that he was going to be in it longer. Because he's another guy. When he pops up on the screen, you know he's a bad. guy Billy Drago. So I was like, oh, cool.

I forgot he was in it. He's just some little scummy drug dealer, sleazy guy. He's standing to talking and testing the Coke and all that. And he dumps him out for his girl. And she just immediately little coke horror just starts snorting away. This is all in Florida,

everyone. And then they kind of get into it. But basically Rostov kind of got Billy Drago. name was Mickey got into his face telling him that look man I'm just going to take what I want and you ain't going to do nothing about it because he backs him up to the wall while that girl is snorting the coke he roast off slams the top of her head she's got a little straw and she's like

just snorting up lines and that thing the straw goes in her nose he goes he gets his pistol sticks it in Mickey's patch pumped in him in a couple into his balls he falls down he goes back to the girl because she's standing in her screaming blood coming out of her face and then just throws her out the window. Again, I totally forgot what was going on in this movie. All I remember was the very end, but I was like, what's happening? Oh, man, I was, I was like just laughing and I just couldn't believe it. Can you make this movie today?

Hell no, you couldn't make this movie today. if they did, if they did a remake of this, I don't know who they would get. But it wouldn't be off the wall and wacky like this. It would be they'd try to make it more serious and up the date to whatever is going on in the world, dealing with terrorists and all that. You don't even get one-liners anymore in action movies. Uh-uh.

And if you do is rare. But I think the last action movie that had one liners that I remember was the one of the, all of them pretty much the expendable movies because you got the kings of the one lighters in that. But I hope that new one's good. Is Stallone in that one still? Because I know he said he wasn't doing it anymore. It's going to be his last one. and eco UAis from the raid is the villain.

Can you use him properly? I mean, when you had Van Dam and did nothing with him. I think I read Tony Jaws in it too. Oh, man. Because, I mean, I was hyped for the second one. When I found out that Van Dam was the bad guy. And I was like, oh, yeah, it's about to go down. And it did not go down.

I was like, man. Because, I mean, either way, I mean, Van Dan would have whooped Stallone's ass, period. It was better than the Mel Gibson final showdown than the third one. Ah, yeah. Anyway, that's another movie. Another show. But once they, after he butchered up the truck dealer and threw a lady out the window, Um, that's when, uh, that's when the CIA went to, to, uh, to Matt Hunter and he told him no.

Oh, but see, that's what that's how raw, um, Chuck Norris was from in this film, he pretty much did all his stunts because he, he wanted, he knew it was going to be off the wall. He knew it was going to be just action packed. So he was like, I want to do it. Because I was looking at it. Um, and I was like, shit, was that him? Because it, usually you can tell. if it's a stunt double.

I'm sure he did have a stunt double in there somewhere, but majority of this was it was all Chuck Norris. Because when we see him for the first time, he's wrestling a fucking alligator in the swan. I was like, him in one of the swamp Indian guys. What the hell was his name? I know he was in,

John Eagle. Yeah, he was. Del Birdie. He was in one of those episodes of Saved by the Bell when Zach found out he was, he had a drop of, Oh my gosh. He had a drop a native in him. I remember that episode and he did like the dance at the end.

Oh, man. I mean, he had nothing against whatever his real name is. He was just doing his job. But oh, my God. the stereotypes that came out in that episode. Don't get me wrong. I love Zach Morris and I love saved by the bell, but, oh, man, different times in the, was that in the 90s?

I think that one was in the 80s, but I don't know if you remember. We're getting off topic, but the college years when Slater found out he was Chicano. Oh, he didn't know. I figured he was just the Mexican. kid of the of the crew but i don't know ac that's another guy i don't age she looks exactly the same but um so yeah he's hanging out with the the swamp indians and the everglades and uh at first i thought i didn't think that guy was was native but he is they i died to do my research he's he is part native because he's like hella dark that look like that fake that fake dark

tan, but it wasn't. Anyway, so yeah, John Eagle, he's got, he's running his little, um, what are those boat, those swamp boats of the airboats or whatever? Uh, that they're right around in. Let's go with airboats because I was going to say fan boats, but that don't sound right either.

Those big boats with the fans on the back that they fly around in, and the Everglades with. I'd like to do that. And I think that'd be cool. But anyway, but, uh, not me. This is too, too much stuff in the, in the water. Yeah, I wouldn't want to get in water, but it would be cool to fly around on there.

But so, yeah, that's when we find out about them and they're down there. That's when the CIA goes and then they kind of meet him up and he tells them to fuck off. I'm not helping you guys. But Rostov, he's on a mission. He already knows what he's going to do other than he's going to take over America. He's going to go kill his rival because they find out where he's at. and then they all jump on their boats during the day. They just,

he's at home in his little swamp house. He's out there chopping wood. And then here they come. These guys just roll up in like, I think like five of those boats all have machine guns and just start letting his house have it. He sees him and he kind of runs, oh, his buddy John Eagle, a native guy that's with him.

He shows up, boom, he gets blasted. And he ends up dead. he does he does take out somebody yeah he had a was a shotgun or rifle or yeah he took out well he was either one or two i can't remember but he took out somebody but he ended up getting riddle with bullets and they destroy the house and then uh they break out the rocket launchers that that they never reload ever it's so i mean i don't know much about rocket launchers but i'm pretty sure they only got one shot and then you got to reload it.

You're not supposed to pay attention to that part. If it ever happened once, I'd have been all right with it, but it was multiple times. But anyway, that's what made this movie awesome. So they blow up his house, but he dives out because he's checking ours. He got out before the missile hit. And this is when he kind of just, he gets mad. Plus, they might have wounded his little, um, was the armadillo?

Oh, that armadillo was dead. Yeah. Oh, was it dead? I thought it was limping downstairs. I'm going to say it was dead because that was a massive explosion. But, but technically Chuck should have been dead too.

Yeah, man, you're deaf or something because that explosion was huge. So he's like, ah, fuck it. All right. You, you kill my buddy.

You killed my armadillo. and all right. So then that's when he loads up and goes on a rampage. But before he starts his rampage, Rostov and the crew are out there destroying America.

Because that first wave came through, then the next crew showed up. And they like had World War II those boats, those little beach boats that they had that when they stormed the beaches of Normandy, they came rolling up. the front thing falls down.

They all, like hundreds of dudes all come pouring in. They all rushed the beach. I don't know why that. There was a couple there just kind of hanging out of the beach, hanging out, swimming at night, and then

they get killed. But then you figured all right, you're dead and that's enough. But there was no love for them. They were running over the body. You hear them when they step on them, they're like breaking their bones. I was like, Ted, was that necessary?

He already did. They roll up out over onto the beach through the trees and then there's like, I don't know, like 20 white cargo trucks. Oh, there was more than that. Yeah, I mean, there was a whole fleet of them

that nobody notices. Uh-huh. So everyone's, jumps in those and then they all take off and Chuck me or Matt Hunter meets up with the CIA and they're kind of like

they're just letting them know that hey we found all these Coast Guard bodies and well they found the boats on the beach you know like all right and when they found the couple that was laying their dead and they're like all right well this this kind of looks

like his MO so Rostov's MO so that's MO so that's let's just against the state to say it was him and then this is when all the chaos started happening I mean I don't know the correct order but um was the first one when they went to uh there was um it was a like a party at like a community center a bunch of local that was the second one what was the first one the the the Christmas massacre was that in the mall? I thought that was later.

No, the neighborhood. Oh. Where they, they set you up with this whole, like, it's a typical suburban neighborhood. People are decorating their trees and their houses and there's children playing.

And they just roll up and they just started using rocket launchers just destroying house after house. The first time I watched it twice. The first time I watched it, I was, I was kind of on my phone because I was texting one of my friends. I was like, wait a minute, when they started blowing up the houses, I was like,

whose houses are these? And then when I rewinded, it was like, there was no rhyme or reason. He just came to wreak havoc in America. Yeah, it was rost off and a couple other guys in the back of a truck. And they rolled up with rocket launchers and just started like the neighborhood was full people. Everyone, like Brian said, everyone's decorated in their houses and all this. Kids playing in the street. And they just start.

Blown houses. I want to say they kept using the same. I'm not sure. Of course they did. Like we said it like a second ago, I said that they're not reloading. He was like he turned boom. Blew up one house turned to the next one. Blew that up turned around.

I think he blew up like five houses. Yeah. that little girl should have been dead because she went there was a little girl outside with her dad and her brother fixing her tree and then they said time for dinner so they all went inside and then they blew up her house and i don't know how she survived but she was out on the front yard in the yard somebody ran up and picked her up as it blowing up all the other houses yeah they did not reload those those rocket launchers at all but you're not looking for correctness in this.

You just want to see things blow up and that's what you got. Excuse me. I was like, God, yeah, what's happening here? But no reasoning for what he was doing

other than he just hates America and wants to see everyone die. Because then after that, they again the thing was about this every time something bad happened the police always showed up like hell late because then that's when the police showed up I'm like well I don't know what happened I don't know what's going on how these houses blowed up I was sitting there and when I was watching this I was thinking did they build this neighborhood I was watching a YouTube video and they said that it was an abandoned neighborhood because I guess whoever owned the land sold all the land and they had and they were going to expand some airport but I think they built something else instead but so all those abandoned neighborhood yeah all those houses were there and they let cannon and the crew blow them up

so it usually when you see these houses blow up you can tell that they just throw them up because they're hollowed out but now these these were real houses and they just plow it blew the nail. So after that, I mean, just shit started to just pop up all over the place. Then we get the Cuban community center. It's just like they were having a wedding reception or something. And these two cops pull up, Asian guy and I think it's a white guy. They just pull up and start talking. And they don't even talk to the dudes.

Those dudes kind of one of them comes out. that one guy from band of the hand. He came walking up and said something to them. That sure was him. I was like, who was that guy? He was the band of the head. He comes up and then they just pull out shotguns and just start shooting everyone. He gets blasted and they shoot whoever's out in the front and then they just take off.

And the thing was fucked up was what happened next is then the real cops showed up because they found out something happened there so that they get to. the call, they show up. And all the people that are still standing out in front of that community center, they go, there comes the cops. And they just start throwing bricks and everything at them. And the cops will, fuck this. We're out of here. And they take off.

So the thing I'm reading is that it turned into a race riot. I'm like, no. It was just them against the cops. I wouldn't call that a race riot. But all right. Because they don't know. And then, yeah, again, the cops show up.

late after all that. I mean, like the rest of them. The main two detectives or whatever that are dealing with all these cases, it seemed like they were like the only detectives in all of Miami because they showed up at every disaster site. So Chuck is, they figured out who it is. So they end up going after because this is when Chuck Springs into action. They were at a shopping center. This is all during Christmas time.

So I guess you can say technically this is a Christmas film. So holiday mall packed. People in there, everyone's shopping. And you just see some guy walking around with packages. And he just looks suspicious. There was, I don't know,

some kind of performance or something going on in one of the shopping centers. But he sets his bag down and walks away. And then one of the. store workers or security or whatever sees him, hey, sir, you forgot your packages. And he just starts to run, but the mall is packed. He's ducking and dodging in everybody. And then he,

I like that person shopping was right behind the security guard with the package. Trying to give it to him. I'm like, clearly this guy is like, not wanted this package and try to get out of here as soon as he can. He's just like, sir, your package. So he's running and run. And all of a sudden, that thing blows up and everyone's running all over the place.

And then here come a bunch of terrorists. They come charging in. Did they just start opening fire on everyone? Yeah, they started before the package exploded. Oh, okay. Because the people wouldn't stop chasing the one guy. So they just like, fuck it. We're just going to spray everybody in the mall.

And then the package exploded. Okay, that's right. Because there was a bunch of other guys in there. Yeah, they pulled up. their guns and started blast. I don't know how you're getting all these machine guns into the mall. But so they started gunning up there.

Yeah, then it blew up. And then there comes Matt Hunter, crashing through the window. It's a badass little truck. And there was like the Blues Brothers, man, how they were just hauling ass down the mall, and wrecking everything, fighting terrorists.

that was a somebody got ran over in this part yeah there was a little display truck inside i got some little four by four mini truck um i think a little nissan the the terrorist jumping there they fire that up they go hawn ass out of the mall was the keys in it i don't know he he jumped in and how well no uh chuck nor is how well wired something else. I think that would... Oh, that's later when he how ours the... He rewires the bomb.

No, I thought he... Was he chasing him? He was... He was still in his truck. No, he flipped his truck in the mall. And then he jumped in the little Nissan. The reporter's car. Oh, no, that's right.

They got no... The terrorists got in that car. And they took off, I assume the keys or anything, because they took off. he he was I think he flipped his car in there and he got out yeah that's when the the reporter what was the point of her there was like no she seemed to be there okay we talked about how the police was always late she seemed to be there before them every time almost like I don't know like it's almost I don't know if they were trying to make it seem like maybe she had more to do with

it or something because she just seemed to be at every place where there was going to be a terrorist attack. Yeah, she would, she was at all the places. And she was even in the neighborhood, uh, and everything. So yeah, when they, she, he goes running out and she comes driving by, he jumps in her car. I think it was like a Mustang convertible. Uh, the terrorists are hauling ass out. How'd they grab that lady?

When, uh, before they. They drove off from the mall like they had hit her car. And she got out to, to talk shit. And he grabbed a hold of her hair and drove off with her. And why, why did they hold it? Excuse me. Why did they hold it a whole time? I, I assumed he was using her as a shield.

They drove for like miles with her hanging on to the side. And salute to that stunt woman, because she was really doing that. Yeah. I mean, luckily there was like a little, one of those little steps because she was standing on that. I'm sure they had her harnessed up and it just looked like that guy was holding her. Because she's hauling at, they're hauling ass down the road. She's hanging on, ah, on the side of the car, Chuck Norris and the reporter are hauling ass after them causing accidents all over the place. And they're shooting at each other.

and then they pull up to the to the side of their car and then he they're like grab her grab her so they're trying to grab that lady on the side of the car and then they pull her back into it and then that car flipped over didn't it no he threw a grenade in there oh that's right and then for some reason instead of stopping and getting a grenade like they kept driving and crashed into a parking lot or a car lot or something? They never stopped the car to go for the grenade. I know. I mean, there was two guys in there.

One of them could have reached down there and grabbed it. But no. Yeah, they crashed in it. Oh, my allergy. Sorry, everyone. And that will go away really quick. Let me go back to the beginning of this mall scene. With Chuck just riding around?

looking for them and just happen to come across the mall. Yep. Because they don't know. I don't know how he found out that was going on. And I'll ask this question again later. So they pretty much once this shit started happening, and they were kind of telling everyone, like, hey, there's terrorist attacks and everything going on.

And they were trying to shut the city down. and then because we get a scene of all these parents loading up all their kids onto these school buses. And I don't know about you, but I don't think I'm going to load my kids on a bus and then stick around. I'm going to pack up my whole family and get out of Dodge. But all right, whatever.

So all these kids are on a bus. They're driving down the highway. And here come these terrorists. They just pull up to the side of the bus with like a big bundle of C4 with a detonator on it. They ride up to the side of the bus stick it on there.

All this is why going on with the kids are all on the bus sitting and row, roll, row your boat. Oh, gosh. That scene went on and on. Let's see that song. So the terrorist takeoff. Buses counting down.

It was like that timer was going hella fast. And I don't know. nowhere. Here comes Matt Hunter. I'm like, you're way out in the countryside somewhere. How the hell did you know this was going to happen? So, all right, whatever.

So he's, and then they come out to this construction area and there's traffic and everything. So he, Matt makes his way around, hauls ass up to the bus, pulls up to the side, reaches out. out little girls looking out the window and she sees the bomb and doesn't say anything quite doesn't know what it is and he pulls it off the bus and then hauls ass after the terrorists did he just stick it on the front

of the hood? On top. Oh. Did they stop or did they just keep driving and blow up? They stopped like the previous guy should have with the grenade, but like you said, this timer was going like super fast. So

they had like five seconds and when they stopped it just went like five four three two one and then exploded because oh yeah all right i'm watching it right now yeah he just comes riding up to it is as smooth as he can oh he didn't destroy his truck yet he's still mobbing it he grabs that thing he hauls ass after the while it's still ticking pulls up to the to the side of the the terrorist You lose this and then just sticks it on the front of their hood and that Hall's ass. They come screeching to a halt, but by then it's too late. The whole truck just blows up in the middle of the street. Oh, man.

You got to love it. After this, he gets arrested because he kind of just goes and he's sitting in a room in a room in some little sleazy hotel. Oh, let me back. Let me back up a little. This was an awesome scene. This is how they found out it was a Rostock.

They were they were kind of trying to find out, figure out who his accomplices were. Like who does he know in America? And they came across one of the guys. I can't remember the guy's name. Tomaz. Yeah, they find out where he's at And some little sleazy apartment above a bar or something

Because he can then Chuck Norris goes there And then he comes kicking in the door No, he just showed Though that guy goes upstairs with a girl They're about to get it on But then Chuck Norris is Pulls out a dagger or something

And it's stabbed Because that guy's hand is on this table And he stabs it And that knife into his hand And he comes screaming Ah! And then he comes screaming, ah! And then,

he's like well where's rostov and you need to tell me where he's at and he's basically i don't know where he's at and then some of the big ass brute comes in hey what the fuck what are you doing in here why he talking to my buddy he like kicks him and he's the dude that goes flying into the wall yeah this is where he does the line though when the first guy comes he tells him to leave or he's going to give him so many rights he'll be begging for a left then that's when he goes and gets the big guy. Oh, okay. And then Chuck's just, what did he say?

He's like, you're beginning to irritate me. And that's when he, that's when he kicks him. Yeah, he kicked that fool down the stairs or something. And then, uh, the other guy, that chick got up and bounced. Uh, that guy still got the knife stuck in his hand. Chuck pulled out a grenade, pulled the pin, handed it to him. And they go, when you see Rostov, tell him it's time. And that guy's like holding a grenade like, what the fuck?

And then Chuck Norris gets the hell out of there. That guy, he throws it out the window and it lands into, I think it was his car. That convertible that was out in front of it. And that thing blows up. It's all right. They find out they know, all right, they for sure know that it's Rostov and his gang that are causing all the chaos in Miami. All right, flash forward after the bus, everything blows up. This was a scene they didn't show.

because Chuck shows up to it was like a carnival and oh yeah I guess it was good they didn't show it would have been a little too ruthless it was like a little kid's ride and it was like blown the shit and then they found out yeah

this is what they blew up so I think this was the only place that Chuck didn't show up in time to stop because I think at this point is when he got mad and it was saying because he might have said some shit to those cops I can't remember because that's when he went

to his little dingy motel room and he was sitting there watching TV and then the cops and everybody came and raided his little hotel room and then took him to jail because when

he was leaving he uh they arrested him and it was our plastered all over the news and uh rostov is sitting i don't know where he was and his little hideout he's sitting there watching the news because then he sees uh uh matt hunter on the on the tv and i had to rewind it because i couldn't even understand him he was like whispering what what is he supposed to be in this what do you who Richard Lynch Roastow and some

Russianizing some Russian soldier or whatever that just went wired after the fall of Russia or something and I'm sure he killed some Americans during some war and he's working with the

who was he working with because I was confused because it was I think it was just a bunch of everybody who wanted to join them. It didn't seem like it was like as long as you was it like what was that group in WWE

Rousseff and Alberto Dorio Oh you know what I'm talking about Yeah all the all the guys that weren't from America Hated America or something It was pretty much that He just got

Whoever Whoever wanted to join him because after um when uh matt hunter told uh rustov when he looked at the camera and said i it's it's time to die or whatever he told him he um rostov got mad and and wrecked his tv and whoever the dudes that were with him he was like that's when he told him look man he goes you need to get everybody and anybody that hates america and uh we're we're going to blow this place up so that's when they put out the apb and everybody, ah, everyone that hated America showed up.

So, the United Nations. Yeah. I had to look out. It was like probably some Russians, some Cubans and whoever else hated America at this point. Because when you see everyone together, when they're all running around and downtown and destroying everything, it wasn't just dark, dark guys. It wasn't just white guys. It was like a mixture of everybody. because then all hell broke loose.

They, they, oh, I think they were going to storm the, the police station. Because they knew that's where Matt Hunter was. So they come, fucking just all come into, into downtown. It seemed like the,

the military was ready for him because they had all these little cement blockades in the road. I think that was stupid, though. well, obviously we know why. I was thinking, if they're trying to stop cars, why aren't these big blocks in the middle of the road? They were all off to the side of the road,

so you could still drive down the center of the street. So all of them, his whole crew, everybody, I don't know, it was like hundreds of them. They all come just pouring in. Just truck after truck and jeeps and everything. Everyone loaded up to the gills. They all go running in. the National Guard was already out there

there was some because then that's when they just started a big massive war and I assume this was downtown Miami they were just trying to gun up everyone and then they all go charging into the police station and then they get in there and this is when I was talking about everyone's just everyone that had a gun was firing and nobody would look like they were aiming or anything.

They were just pointing and firing their guns. Shooting just desk and chairs. Yeah, because they charged into the lobby. Ah! Started gunning up everything around. They made it up to, I don't know what four they were. I assumed the four they thought he was. I'm just like, there's clearly nobody here.

I'm like, what are you shooting at? They're just going crazy. Yeah, because when they charge into that one, we just start shooting up all the cubicles, and then they were like, oh, fuck, nobody's here. And then Rostov's kind of like, he's speaking Russian.

So I assume there was Russian soldiers there as well. And he just turned around to the Admiral Akbar. It's a trap. And then that's when here came, all we needed to hear was the team of America music. America's finest came pouring in, just tanks, everything. And then there was a huge war out in the street.

streets and then it was just they had tanks but they didn't even fire the tanks maybe one or two did but and then here came all the National Guard and everybody just gudding up all these terrorists and everyone's just fighting each other

that's going on outside inside Matt shows up and just commences to just round housing and kicking his shit at everyone that got in this way and that he in the poster we see Chuck Norris holding those two little

little Mac tins he's got those and he's just they're on straps so he can't like straighten his arms he just hold it up to his side like how he is in the poster that's how he was walking around

gun it up whoever he could see whoever got in his way he loves those guns too because when they when he runs out of bullets I like the way he just like gently lays them down on the ground. Oh my gosh. That was awesome.

Yeah, he did. Because when all the, the bad guys, when they were searching for them, I mean, that's when they just charged into each room and just started gunning up everything.

And when they figured out was a trap, it was like, everyone was inside. and then when they said it was a trap and all the everyone ran outside that's when the tanks and all the National Guard showed up and and the war started outside but inside um he started letting everyone have it with his little uh his little mac tens you know what we missed the part let me go back just a minute um when they were just wreaking havoc all over the all over the place uh they were gonna blow because they um the military they announced it it was going to be martial law. Everyone just stay in your homes and

stay off the streets. All these people went and filled this church and then they were all in just praying and everything. So the terrorists followed all these people. They had assume a suitcase full of C4. And they didn't even try to hide it. They just

stuck it right on that first step and had the wires hanging out of it. And they ran across the street to try to blow it. up. And they're like, all right, we're set. And then they were pushing the button to blow it up and nothing happened. And they're like, what the fuck? And then all of a sudden

you're here, didn't work, huh? And they turn around and look up and Chuck Norris is standing on this building or the roof of whatever they were a big, I think of two or three floors, looking down at them holding the suitcase.

I'm like, how the hell did he get over there? Get it off that step where they could clearly see it and then run across the street, run up, how many flights of stairs and get on the road. Chuck Norris. Yeah. I was going to say that.

That's your answer. He drops the suitcase down on them and then he just takes two wires. It blows them up. I mean, oh my God. I just,

I couldn't believe it. Sorry. All right, back to the police station and just gunning everybody up that gets in his way and everything. So, yeah, he pretty much kills all those guys that were inside the police station. And Rostov is running after him. And then they turn, they start going at it. And he, like, kicks him in the face, hell of times. kicks him and he flips over into the next cubicle.

But did you notice how fresh Rostov was? No matter how many kicks he took, chops, everything, his hair did not mess up at all. Had to redo it between each takes. His hair still looked nice, feathered and fresh.

I mean, that was another thing for getting all, basically getting this shit kicked out of it. of him. He didn't have no, no blood coming out of his mouth, out of his nose or anything. He just looks fresh as could be.

Maybe that was in his contract. He's like, my hair and everything needs to look fresh at all times throughout this movie. Like somebody was standing there right with a brush. Before he'd Steve, rush out there, brushes there,

and then push him back in. So it was a Rostov and some other dude and they were searching for Matt Hunter and they both had rocket launchers. I don't know how these rocket launchers work, but I think you got to fire those missiles got to go a little way before they actually blow up. I think you have to aim them too instead of just like shooting from the hip. he kills the he kills the first dude and roast off gets away and then Matt Hunter kind of disappears

so he's running around looking for him and this part's fresh he's just slowly walking around the the hallways again hair look up this clip on TV on YouTube

his hair is nice and fresh and he's holding that rocket launcher with he already fired it once and you didn't see him loaded but here comes Matt Hunter right behind him at least he's got some blood pouring down the side

of his faith and he's holding a little bit yeah he's got a rocket launcher and when he opens it up that's when Rostov hears him and this is all in slow motion

Rostov still look in the opposite direction. Matt Hunter's standing there already opened up the rocket launcher and then he just kind of whispers, it's time. Rostov, I think at this point he knows he's

fucked out, he's already fucked. But he just he turns around with his rocket launcher. But before he can fire it, Matt Hunter lights, yeah, from the hip. like it was a six shooter or something.

Didn't even aim. Again, I don't know how close they were, but I love this scene because when he, this is the only scene that I remember before I watched it. He shoots him, blows up and he just doesn't blow up and fall out the window. He gets blown apart because it's in slow motion. You see his head fly out the window. You see one of his feet. fly out and hard body parts

yeah he gets blown up so hard he turns into a mannequin yeah it blew his blue his fresh hair off yeah because you see the mannequin head and Hollywood you guys better take notes because this is how you end the fucking movie as soon as he blew him out the window

and the million pieces the camera goes back to him he just the music's dun dun dun he just throws that rocket launcher down on the ground phase to black credits and that's your movie

oh my god this movie was awesome every minute of it I need to get it on Bluroy oh man how much is this I got to look right now I just bought a bunch of movies I wasn't even thinking about this one

But, oh, man, this movie is amazing. If you have, what was it, Tooby, is that what it was on? Yeah, Tooby. And of course, you know, if you know where to look. Yeah, I watched it on Tooby. And is there a paid Tooby? Because I'm going to say one day there will be because Tooby is starting to get original programming. So I'm going to say soon there will be.

Oh man, don't tell me this is out of print. Oh, it's out of print. Yeah, because these fools are selling it for $60. You can kiss my ass. I pay in $60. I pay for no import either. But that's on Amazon. Let me see what eBay has to go for.

It's probably some ridiculous, probably. 5188. Oh, this is the shop factory. one. Did you say you had the one with the VHS case? No, I got the

shower factory one. Oh, okay. Well, shit, this is out of print. It's 42. 95.

Uh, I don't know. I'll have to just search for it. But I hate when they do that, man. Then I'll buy it. And then I'll have, we'll put it out again.

And it was $10. Yeah. Did you ever, did you ever pick up Doom, steel boat? no good because for for are you media collectors like I guess they're recalling all of them because a lot of people just got the case with no movie or codes or anything in it

the arrow one no the for the new movie oh the the new new one yeah I guess a lot of people a lot of people opened them up and there was no disc or anything well I did I'm that and Halloween kills. I'm kicking myself. I've had to snack one of those. Because it's going for bank on eBay. Both of them are. I'm like,

Halloween kills I can see. All right. But Doom, it was good. But it ain't what they're charging good. I don't know. I'll probably, will I pay 50 for this invasion USA?

I'd wait. Yeah, I have a feeling I'm going to buy it. And then Tuesday, it's going to come out. Steelbook, $10. That would be hell of it. But if you got Tooby or Pluto TV, it's on there. If you don't mind the ads or anything. But it's uncut.

It's not. Cussabwe's, everything blown up. All that is in it. And the little co-co are getting their heads. math. That was the ruthless part of this whole movie. You get that and someone getting shot in their dick all in the same. Twice.

Yes. Then she gets thrown out the window. That first guy gets killed, he gets shot in the dick and then later on, another guy gets shot in the dick. Oh, his own guy for snitching or giving the information. That's why. I have to, excuse me. That's right. other than he got a stab in the hand,

he got to shoot his dick. Man. But this movie has, has everything in it. It's just senseless violence. Chuck Norris. Yeah, he's another one. Hair did not mess up.

The part where he looked most glorious is when he's driving the little swamp airboat. With the hair blown. Yeah, the hair. and the wind and the beard looking fresh

and his shirt opened up a little so you can see the muscles and he's staring and flexing with one arm oh man this movie is awesome don't watch this movie for a plot or anything because there's none

just watch it for all the crazy action and the no reloading of the rocket launchers but all right that was 185's Chuck Norris classic invasion USA

what do we have next? I'm going to start throwing in some newer ones because I mean we could talk about all these awesome older action movies and want to see what we think of these new ones so we're going to review

it just came out as we're recording this 2000 well it says 2021 one, but it just dropped today. A crime, crime drama Clean starring Adrian Brody. Oh, okay. You seen this trailer?

No, but I saw the poster. I know nothing of it. Okay. Good. And we need to, we need to make up for that Amityville. Amityville horror. Have you seen it?

Have you seen it? Have you seen there? Yes. All right. Have you seen Amityville cop. What? I'm going through the, I'm going through the list. Is it new or old?

It came out last year. It's on Tooby. Oh. There's like 20 Amityville movies on Tooby. Amityville cop. A city hunted, haunted by a bloody pass. Well, I guess are you leading.

At least giving us that angle of it. has led to the emergence of some serious police brutality as bodies pile up two detectives seek to stop a demonic force that is terrorizing the neighborhood. Come on, Brian, you're killing me. I'm going to go through all of them. Did you see this one? Yeah. Oh, man. I'm not going to tell you.

I'm not going to tell you. All right. I'm going down the cast. I don't know. any of these people and to be all right expect a mini

review everyone my next one is going to be the the amityville moon I think this is a werewolf one what? Yeah I'm going to send you this I'm going to send you this list

the amityville moon that one came out last year man but tell Mike do you make one make one make it Amityville. Oh, film.

My wife, my wife was asking me, she was like, you can just like do that? Like I was like, apparently you can, I was like, we can make an ambival movie.

Amityville moon. Evil lurks in the holiest of places. As Alyssa and Carla tried to escape from a church, a home that holds them captive, Carla is slaughtered by a vicious semi, human creature. Oh, this is the one.

This directed, the guy that did, um, uh, Amityville uprising. Oh, he did that one? Yeah.

That same director. I know what to expect. Um, he did the Amityville moon. I guess that one came out first. Yeah, that one came out last year. Amityville harvest.

He did that one too. Come on, man. Jeez, man. He did one. in 2021 the Amityville Horace

and he did Amityville moaned and then Amityville Risen to kick off 2020 this list is long as witches of Amityville Academy

Amityville vibrator because that's an adult one What Amityville Island the Amityville murders Is that the movie movie one? I don't now.

Because that was that was one we did. Didn't didn't we? The one is supposed to be about the real case. Yeah. Didn't we do that one? I think we did. Yeah. We did. Yeah. That was all right. You see that. That one was at least good. And it had something to do with it. Yeah. This was

basically the prequel. Yeah, that one was good. I mean. I like that one, but I don't know, man. I mean, yeah, it's another show. We'll dive into that one. Just come back for, what was it, clean? Clean.

The star is Adrian Brody. Sorry, everyone. That was basically the end of the episode. Our audio started to mess up, so the whole end got cut. We weren't talking about much, just more Amityville, this and that nonsense. But anyway, for everything, horror returns, go to the horror returns. com check out everything we got there links to all the shows and everything else we got there and uh there's a link to uh pick up t-shirts for the show so please do that spread the word

and talk to you guys later so until then party on