The Horror Returns - The Action Returns - Ep. #61: Enter The Ninja (1981)

Episode Date: March 14, 2023

This episode Brian and Nez head to the Philippines team up with a former American military operative. There he must do battle against corrupt CEO who hires a Ninja master in the 1981 Cannon martial arts classic ENTER THE NINJA.   Join The Action Returns Facebook group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/841619946357776   Follow The Action Returns on IG and Twitter: Instagram: @theactionreturns Twitter: @action_returns    Check out everything Horror Returns at: https://thehorrorreturns.com Join The Horror Returns Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1056143707851246 THR Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thehorrorreturns   Join the THR Presents: Stream Fiends Facebook Group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/3860579827402429 Follow THR Stream Fiends on IG: @thrstreamfiends

Ninja, I've got the girl! I'll suit her if you don't show yourself now! Just one moment, Mr. Parker! Ninja! Listen, I... I really do want to talk to you. And I don't want to kill a girl. Don't let her go! I think I've been hurt, sir.

I'm back, everybody, to another episode of the Action Returns. We are finally back after a long hiatus. But, of course, you know, I'm your host, Brian. And with me, as always, it's my brother Ned's. What's up, man? Oh, man. Hey, we gave you two stream fiends back to back. I had to look at how long it's been.

You know, we dropped the last Action Return in September. That one we did it? Yeah. September of Lvon. last year? Yeah. What was that? I don't remember. A lockup. That was, no.

We had to have done another one since then. We have not. Oh, no, wait a minute. I'm not going to make me look it up. I know we did a few wrestling. We did the two stream themes. We did the stream things before the two because we did the

time rider. Okay. Then we didn't do anything. I was like, I was like, damn September. You still doing the Amityville stuff? Yeah,

I'm going to do it. I ain't in a rush. Okay. Well, geez, that's, yeah, it was, damn.

Sorry, everyone. Yeah. I, I, oh, we were, uh,

I was like, we were recording. all kinds of shit. It was all of the 31 day stuff. Yeah, I said the same thing. I was like we haven't recorded action since September, but we recorded hell of shit. Yeah.

I was like, I keep forgetting 31. All right, okay, yeah. All right, well we're back. Yeah, we're back, everyone. So, but let everyone know what we're doing. I know we tell you guys back in

September. but kind of forgot. Yeah, we are starting the Canon Ninja trilogy with 1981's Enter the Ninja. The Ninja. Ninja Ninja. The first martial art to sweep the modern world was jujitsu, closely followed by the discipline karate. Then we were taught to combine the spiritual with the physical by the massive.

of Kung Fu. And now, the Canon Group is proud to introduce the practitioner of the oldest and ultimate martial art. The Ninja. Enter the Ninja. This goal is your license as a master of ninjas. Starring Franco Niro, exploding into action at Cole, the White Ninja. Give a message for me. Yeah?

I don't like to be followed. I love it here. It's become my home. And nobody. Nobody's going to drive us away. Susan George is the proud and beautiful Mary Ann, a strong-willed woman who knows what she wants and just how to get it. And introducing Shō Kusugi. Kampai! Kampai!

Kamsay! Hasegawa, the black ninja, born of samurai blood, is unable to accept anything but the ancient ways. You did not drink Hasagawa. He's no ninja. It's a ramco. They want to take it. it away from this bitter and merciless this rogue ninja will stop at nothing to destroy any and all who cross his path

enter the ninja from cannon okay google what damn google cole is a former american military operative who just finished his training in nukitsu in japan he heads to the philippines to visit his old army buddy and his seductive wife. We're living in a large property targeted by wealthy CEO Charles Benarius for oil drilling. When Cole fights off his stooges, Vanarius recruits Cole's old Nujitsu school rival, the vicious Hazigawa. Is that how you say his name? Hasigawa? Yeah.

Okay. Leading to an explosive showdown. That was a lengthy synopsis. I.M.D.B. Here we go. After passing a ninja master test in Japan, Cole visits a war buddy in the Philippines. He helps him fight men who want his buddy's plantation. He had a plantation.

Was it coconut? That's all I saw. Coconids. It was like they were cockfighting or whatever you call it. Bet and I don't know if there I didn't see a lot of work going on But people were getting paid The star is Frank Franco Niro Susan George

Shoe Kuzziugi Chokeosugi yeah Okay Christopher George Alex Courtney Will Hare Zach E Noe Constantine Georgie and a bunch of others.

This is directed by Menaheen Golan. Probably pronounced that wrong. But Nes, what did you think of Enter the Ninja? I saw this after

I saw Revenge of the Ninja. Same here. Because I saw Revenge of the Ninja in the theater. I thought I saw this one too, but I had to really think about it. I remember seeing it. in the 80s early 80s I mean ninjas just took over

the movie theater for a while and then because it was dropping all these I guess this is a the canon trilogy because none of them really tie together or anything but so I loved Revenge of the Ninja and we'll get to that one but then when I went to the video store

one of my other friends was like hey man if you like that one watch you enter the ninja I was like, oh, okay, so I rented it. And I remember loving it, man, because I was all about all the ninja stuff. Man, I had the, not the full suit, but I had the masks and the stars and the swords and everything. I had the shoes and everything, the little slippers with the little big toes separated. Yeah. Because, yeah, like I said, in the 80s, man, I mean, it was just ninja stuff.

everywhere. I mean, you can buy the legit stuff or they really, really went for it with the kids. So, I mean, everybody, every Halloween, somebody was a ninja. So, but yeah, this one, when I, when I finally saw it, I was like, oh man, I mean,

I was all into it. I mean, I loved all these ninja movies. And I really dove into it. I loved it when for those of you that read G.I. Joe, A Real American Hero comic series in the 80s, when we found out the snake eyes was a ninja i was like why and then storm shadow and all those guys came into play

and i was like oh man i was all about i'm still all about gi jo and storm shadow and snake eyes those are my two favorite characters and everything but the whole ninja thing i really loved i did read a couple books for for when i did read and from i'm for it being like a not a forbidden art, but a sacred and secret art. The show was a lot of books out there telling you everything about it. Okay. I didn't know how much was true and what wasn't. But one of my buddies, he was really, really into all these films, and he had the posters,

and he did martial arts and everything. And I guess his sensei or whoever used to tell him all kinds of stuff about growing up in Japan. pan and all that and everything. Did he tell him the secrets? No. He kind of said because I didn't, I didn't really know much about that. So, but, but yeah, as far as the movie, 81, awesome. Watching it now, it's still awesome.

But it's goofy and cheesy. I mean, it was, it was what it was. All in nothing days when everything went to the theater, no matter what. But I have it on Blu-ray. but the studio here's a mess and I didn't want to move everything to get to my Blu-ray, but I watched it on free-vis commercials and all. But they didn't cut anything out. I mean, all of it was there, all the blood and the violence and everything.

But man, yeah, man, I still love this movie. I want my son to watch him because he came walking in there. What are you watching? It was during the end fight. I said, End of the Ninja. He kind of stood there for a minute and just kind of smirked. one. And the fight,

that was the last five minutes of the movie. Yeah, the big old buildup and really got like a couple of minutes. I was thinking more of Revenge of the Ninja. That's the ending of that one.

But this one, it's still, to me, it still holds up. It is cheesy and everything. But I did learn some stuff when I was kind of reading in. Franco Niro,

I guess he was Italian. I guess they were going to, they had another guy. that was going to try out for it, but he, I guess he wasn't a good actor. So they had to get Frank O'Neiro. He came in.

But his accent was so thick and they couldn't understand him. So they had to have someone else come in and double all his dialogue and everything. Yeah, it took me a minute to recognize that was Django. But then I was like Because they were saying that Franco Niro didn't do any of the The martial arts I was like Really? I said he looked like There was a couple of

Bad spin kicks he was doing and some karate chops Yeah I figure I I just found this out everyone All right here it says Frank O'Nero had no martial arts training so he was dubbed by writer and fight choreographer Mike Stone for the fight sequences. Okay, so I knew it wasn't him when he had the, when he was all ninjaed up. Oh, that was clearly a smaller person. Yeah, but then, I mean, there's actually not much ninja in this,

except for the beginning and maybe one little bit in the middle and then all at the end because Franco was just when he was kicking ass, he was dressed up as, as his, himself and everything. I mean, this is the back in the big, thick mustaches and the hairy chest days. And everything.

So I was laughing at a lot of it. I had forgotten everything about this film on what was going on. I mean, I knew who was in it. And I remember the fight scenes as they were going, but I couldn't remember the story on why this was going on. And when I first saw the,

the box, the VHS box, it's the poster. Enter the Ninja. And the way my buddy was talking out like it was like the greatest ninja movie ever. That's what I was expecting. And I was like, eh, it was good, but there wasn't

much ninja. All right, this is what the poster says. Warriors of lost martial art, hired assassins, human killing machines, enter the ninja. Well, Shokasugi, he shines. He's on the poster, but I don't who this other ninja is and the red.

I don't know why they didn't have Frank and his white ghee and everything. Yeah, because Red Ninja was one of the the others, the side ninjas that got their ass kicked.

Yeah, I mean, because a lot of this stuff took place during the day. A lot of the action scenes and everything, which was cool. I mean, it didn't take anything away from it, but it made me laugh, especially in the beginning

when he was running through the forest or wherever they were. I think that they were in Japan. It probably looked like Hawaii. Or maybe they did it film that all in the Philippines because that's why they end up going later. But the one that made the scene that made me laugh the most is we see Frank, he's kind of lurking around in his white ninja suit. And he goes past his tree and there's a red ninja.

I mean, it's not like the red ninja was way, way, way up in the tree. He was like really maybe a few inches above where Frank was walking. How did you not see this bright red dude standing there on a little chewy, but good camera work though. They filmed in the Philippines and Japan.

Okay. Susan George, I never seen Frank O'Neerone anything. I might have if I look at it's Django. It's the old Jango. Oh, that's right. And he was the... I are too?

Yeah. And John Wick? Yeah, John Wick, the second one, he was the... When they went to the other continental in Italy or whatever, he was the guy running it. Oh, okay. I had to see pictures. When John Wick and Kamau were fighting, they put it to the window. And he was like, oh, I got to remind you.

no business on continental grounds. Yeah, okay. I remember now. Then in the new Django, he had that scene where he was talking to Jamie Fox. Yeah, he aged good. He doesn't look all run down and beat up. His English is better now, I guess,

since he was completely dubbed in this movie. Could I remember him in Force 10, the Navarone, with um Paulo Creed and uh Indiana Jones and um what's his name from Joe's uh Quint they weren't if you guys haven't seen

guns in a force 10 guns of Navarone Force 10 from Navarone check that one out that one was pretty good but yeah I mean I didn't know that he didn't do any of any of the stuff because like I said majority of it when he is uh fighting and everything.

It's just his everyday wear. But is he's, yeah, he's still alive. Born in 41, but. Oh, man. When was the first time you saw this? The last week. I swore I seen that,

because I've seen revenge a bunch of times. I've even seen, uh, what was it, Ninja 3, the domination of our, I can't wait until we get to the, that one. I've seen those. So I, in my mind, like I've seen this movie

before, but when it's, when as it was gone, I was like, I don't think I've ever seen this one. And I would have loved this movie when I was a kid, but now it's, like you said, you don't get much of the ninja stuff. You get, you get him

in the suit in the beginning and in the end. And I just wanted more of that. And then what really kind of took me out of it was the music because it was kind of goofy and i don't know like it would be like some kind of happy happy goofy music and the situation wasn't happy or nothing like that and the boss the boss was ridiculous and all his henchmen were just like cartoon characters which i i did have fun with because it it was what it was but yeah

this was my first time I swore I seen this before but I guess I was wrong it was yeah the the main boss was just totally just overacting and he screamed

all of the Christopher George Benarius just screamed every line he had and I was like is this what the director told you to do or you just I did find it funny

that nobody was allowed to talk to him directly but they kept trying to and his little his little right-hand man would like slap the person around but the one guy was goofy as hell

the guy, Dr. Claw, Dr. Evil or whatever or whatever his name was dressed like Colonel Sanders yeah that was ridiculous I was like this guy is in charge of what

Yeah He just seemed like one of the little Pervert To catch a predator guy Yeah And Canon films They could have easily

Went that direction Yeah Yeah Yeah And it pushed the limits Back then Different different times Everyone

But the story The story's pretty straightforward Yeah You know He Well not straightforward Because not everybody Go's

Nizizu school But he know he finishes ninjitsu school and then goes to visit his old military friend uh what was his name frank frank is fucking i don't know about frank this guy i just don't have it no more cole i just don't have it no more i was like the fuck is going on with this guy he was just like the fake james con uh from godfather that's like he just kept crying about his problems like he's just like gets pushed around and then he talks about his wife. He says, I just can't get it up.

I just can't perform. Yeah, she wants it all the time. She deserves it. I was like, help her out. Yeah, I was like, Cole, the way he's looking at her. I'm sure he's going to help her out real soon. Yeah, I was like, I mean, you knew it was going that way, especially the way Frank we kept throwing her at him.

I was like, what's happening here? Susan George, I remember her. The first movie that I had seen her in was that old 70s Dirty Mary Crazy Larry film. I remember seeing that at the drive-in. The only thing I remember of that film was the very end.

The spoiler alert when they crashed into a train. If you guys watch Fall Guy It's right in the beginning During the opening stuff But that was the first thing I had seen her in But then she was in straw dogs Yeah And then she popped up in a bunch of other things

Here and there Looks like she's still acting So that's good But I didn't know if she had an accent I just remember she was a little old White trash, shippie girl In that movie

but I totally forgot she was in this and when she came walking into the screen I was like oh cool but that big 10 hour ninja spectacular during the credits in the beginning that like went on and on and on he was being tested

his final test no the very beginning not when it was him I don't know who that was somebody it was I was either Shokosugi Or you're talking about the opening credits. Yeah. When they were just that ninja

When the white ninja finally came in and clearly didn't kick the black ninja in the face. Yeah, you can clearly see that he just missed. I was like, come on. Camera angles, guys. They went with the best tech they had. But I'm pretty sure when I was a kid, I was, ooh, ooh. I mean, I love martial arts. I wish I could do it.

I'm too old now. but too old and I don't know my knees could take jumping and flipping and all that you live through the grandkids now yeah

teach the ninjitsu um I was while I was watching Enter the Dragon and uh Daniel my young or my oldest grandson he was sitting there watching it with me

because he likes uh I tried to get him into like Power Rangers because yeah these guys fight and everything. He wasn't having it. But he sat there and watched that final fight and entered the ninja

and he liked it because he liked the guy that had the guy with the long claws. But this one yeah, the story was straightforward. It wasn't a thinker. I mean Cole, he's in New York, he's in Japan finishing

his ninja training episode or his ninja school or whatever did they really say how he got into it kind of sound like he just wanted to do ninjitsu and they were like okay join the class so because yeah they the whole opening scene other than after the credits

and everything is him you don't know it's training because he's slicing and dicing everyone and there's blood and blood and all that and guys getting cut by the swords and everything so I was like oh okay but yeah I mean it's all

during the day he's all in white the red ninjas are trying to get him and uh what the hell was shook so Hasagawa that his name yeah he he's uh

kind of lurking in the background he's like the the final boss I guess of this little scene um I loved the ninja stars I mean, it was cool.

I mean, there's all the sound they made when they threw them. Yeah. Everything made a sound. I mean, I liked it. I mean, the things that always made me laugh is every time they tried to put their their katana swords back in the little,

a little holder, whatever you got on it, whatever you call. You can see they always miss. They got to turn their head and look. and I like to I mean I like all that type of stuff I mean ninjas I mean all these ninja movies I see I mean they look like they're not carrying much

maybe a bow and arrow and the swords but they had like they always pull like a shit ton of stuff out out of their pockets and everything like I'm like damn where are you guys carrying all this especially the stars when you got a ton of them I don't know how heavy those things are but I remember my brother had one And he sharpened it up as much as it could But we could not make it stick into anything

We were spent hours throwing it at the tree Trying to get it to stick in the tree It just wouldn't work So but yeah after Cole's little training thing Because he's he's just running through all these little red Gibroni ninjas Because they clearly were doing shit That's exactly the right word for them.

I heard your brain inches. I was like, you guys, did you guys pass the test? Because you guys are just getting worked. Yeah, I mean, I assume the colors mean, I assume black is the final color you get. Like, well, like with the colored belts and everything. I don't know. This is just me thinking. because there was only one white ninja or was he in white because he was white

I don't know well there was an issue with what's his name what was his name Hasagawa when he passes the test and he's like he's not a ninja basically saying he's white what's he doing here I was like we get what you're saying just say it. Yeah, man, just say it. We know why you're mad.

You bring it up your ancestors and all cars. I was like, I get it. I get it, man. Yeah, I mean, I understood. I mean, it was like with Bruce Lee, man. He wasn't supposed to be trained in the, um, what they call him? I can remember the, the word they used for. Guilio.

Yeah, the Guiloh who's. But yeah, because, uh, after he ran through all those red ones and then they had this, uh, uh, uh, uh, haza gawa and him chasing each other. I loved the,

the part when they jumped off the, uh, the waterfall. And then I was, I was, I was really paying attention to it because they're all soaking wet. And a few minutes later, they're all nice and dry.

So it was during the summer and the summer heat, uh, of Japan. So, yeah, he made, uh, Cole fights his way through all the red ninjas and running away from

Hasagawa and then he gets back to the temple I guess and then did that. I'm like, okay. I mean, I liked it because after he gets up and then the, I assume the master was standing there on the porch and he's looking at him and then Cole just chops his head off. And I'm like, okay. So I kind of forgot that part So I was like, all right

But before that, all right, I'm watching this as it's going along He gets his His katana sword and he throws it like a dart Like barely tosses it And it stabs a guy in the chest Hella hard and he goes falling down I'm like, really? But it's funny

Yeah, right before he goes up to the old master Hasagawa comes jumping in and then he Cole flips him and he falls on his back and he's about to stab him and basically he says like I surrender so he doesn't do anything but then

once Cole gets up to the master he kind of bows to him and then cuts his head off and then he just goes inside and sits down in a little studio what are they called those his little dojo yeah

He went in there and just sat down and started praying. And then all these red ninjas, and Azagawa comes in, and they all kind of crouch down on the side, and then walks in the teacher holding his head. So I was like, okay, I mean, ninjas are fast, I guess. And this guy was out in the daylight,

and he just did it hell quick. So he basically, yeah, he passed the test. But, uh, I assume Hasagawa is his number one student because he is sitting the Red Ninja, well, Cole is like kind of in the middle. Red Ninja are lining the sides, the master, the sense, whatever, he's sitting there in the middle. And Hasagawa was off to his right sitting there.

And then he just basically tells him, yeah, you're a ninja. You passed all the trials. I don't know. I assume these have meaning all the stuff they were doing with their fingers. A little crazy finger locks that they were doing before they get into fighting and everything. But Hasagawa was like not having it at all. It's like this white boy is no ninja right here. Yeah. I mean, what are you doing here? So because yeah, once that scene was over, they're sitting outside.

basically everyone having a toast to Cole for being a ninja. And that's when Hasagawa goes off. He is no ninja. He's not from here. And he said the nice, basically he said he's white, but he did it the nice way. But I get it. Yeah, man. He just, no, man, he goes, he didn't, he's got no ancestors in Japan.

He doesn't have the right to be here. So I don't know how it all works, but I assume. that's how it is. Yeah, I would have liked to see like maybe explanation on how he got into the school because you would have think it would have been like the elder

that would refuse him. Yeah, or maybe he traveled around to a bunch and this is the only one that said, yeah, sure, come on in. We accept everybody. But Osagawa's not having him. He just gets up and he rolls out and then

the massacre. Hey, well, all right, man it was nice meeting yeah and then cut over and we see Cole walking in the Philippines and he's uh he's with his buddy and they're doing their thing and yeah his buddy's just kind of telling him uh his um it's his war buddy uh they were in

the Angolan Bush War I have no idea where that it was Africa okay Because later on, when Frank's having one of his damn fucking breakdowns, he's just like, remember, remember Africa, Frank. The South African border war. That's what that was.

And that was in 66. Damn, we went from 66 all the way to 90. All right. I don't know. I'm on Wikipedia one. Wow. All right. Cool.

For some reason, I thought that they were going to be Vietnam. buddies because everybody in the 80s if you had some kind of war background there was always Vietnam so yeah so he goes there and he's meeting with his buddy and everything and then his buddies he's got his little plantation

but then we get this is more introduced to hook and all his little cronies that he had that guy was he was a little weirdo his name was Sigfried the Hook Schultz the hook

And do nothing with the hook Except for that one guy The hanserman I was going to kill him And he like Hooked his nuts or something It's like the only thing He did with his hook

So yeah So when Cole is there We find out that Yeah hook and all those guys They're trying to Cole has his plantation And he's got all his workers And

they, what's his name? Charles Vanaris, he's running his show and he basically is trying to push Frank and Mary,

Mary off their land. Because they kept trying to offer them money, hey, we'll give you this much for it. And he's like, no, no, I'm not selling.

This is my land. I work too hard for it. This is my retirement. And they're like, now, man, come on, man. If you're not going to take the money, then we're going to have to break something.

So that's when they were, they, instead of going after Frank and Mary, they started going after, uh, workers because that they had bunch, uh, a bunch of field workers and everything. Which we never seen them work.

All I saw was Mary throwing around coconuts. No, because when she was throwing around coconuts after, um, when, uh, Vaneros and those guys went in there or his henchmen, went and scared every,

buddy away saying that we're gonna because they were um they were beating up one dude uh and when they rolled into town because mary drove into town and uh she was like she was like you want come with he's like yeah sure so he jumped in that was when he was non chucking yeah he was out there traded uh in the yard with the chest hair out yeah

and she's just eyeing him up and down licking her lips Susan George, I mean, even still now, she's still beautiful woman. I liked her back then. I still like her now. She pops up in things here and there. But this was the no bra era of the 80s. Oh, yeah. So, yeah, when they roll into town, they see one of their workers getting beat up by Hook and his gang.

Hook never did nothing. He just kind of. stood off to the side giggling and everything. And they were beating up one of the guys and then Cole. I love how he just comes running up and just boots those dudes that are fighting. And they just commences to whoop an ass and beats all these dudes up. And then Hook is kind of like, all right, man. They don't know who he is, but they know he's hanging out with,

Mary. So, all right, well, let's get out of here. And this is when we're introduced to what was a little little man's name? Dollars. Was that his name? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, Will Hare. Dollars.

Wait. Is that, what did I see him? Oh, he was in Back to the Future. He was, um, the guy that owned the pines in the beginning Oh Old man P-Baddy

or whatever the hell his name was He's the one that Michael J. Fox crashed in and it was born when he first came back from the future Yeah, him

I just thought he was just some little Well he was, he was a little con man I guess he was an old veteran Probably from like World War II or something and he was what was

he was uh he came walking up to to Cole and he was like hey man what do you need girly pictures and he opens his jacket and he's got all these little cutout pictures of half-naked women or he goes oh are you a religious guy

and then he opens the other side of his coat and he's got all these little crucifixes in it and I was like what the hell's going on here got to make your money yeah put the pretty open it up and all those pictures of the ladies.

I mean, they're like pictures he, like, cut out of a magazine. You want to buy these? I was like, yeah, yeah. Get your money anyway you can. I thought he was going to be one of those dudes because he had a little shack too. I didn't know if he was pimping out women out of there. But yeah, that's how we're introduced to him. And then that's when Cole runs over and starts beating up all those dudes.

So, I mean, at this point, we still don't know why Van Neri. and his gang won everyone because they do find out about who goes back and tells Vanaris yeah there's this guy he goes he's hanging out with Frank and we don't know who he is or where he came from and then they're like all right well

send more guys over there and then he ends up whooping all the beats the hell out of all of them again he just keeps coming back he's like I didn't mess up he he did it he beat your guys up I need more men because the scene

when they're in a bar. Frank and Mary in there just kind of hanging out and then in walks hook and he's still trying to get him to sell. Frank is just sitting at the bar or Cola is sitting at the

bar and but Frank was like he was drunk the whole movie because he just didn't care and in between drinking and all that they were having cockfights and all that. That's what I thought everybody was doing the whole time.

I didn't never see anybody working. I loved that. When Cole beat up all those guys the first time and then all the workers got to go back to the plantation and then Frank Frank goes out there. All right, cool. Good to see everybody. Hey, there's my buddy. My good, my winner.

And their rooster or whatever it is. He goes, let's have a cockfight. Yeah. Everyone runs over to this, his little cockfighting pit area. I was like, oh, man, what's the different times. Totally different times. I mean, no cruelty to animals and all that. But there was a cockfighting scene in it.

But yeah, so, but yeah, when Cole was in that bar and Hook was they're trying to get them, get them to sell, but wouldn't. And Frank was just sitting there drunk. And then Hook kind of turned a coal and he said something. And then they brought in, hey, man, let me get my henchman to come over. Because he had this big tall, Hook had this big tall white dude with him. I thought he was that dude from a return of the ninja. It was not a way of the ninja.

Way of the Dragon, aka Return of the Dragon. I thought he was one of those dudes from that movie, but it wasn't him. But yeah, Cole just commences to kicking all the little henchmen's asses in there. And you can clearly see that it's not him because whoever's fighting has a really bad wig. And he's much thinner than him. But after he beats all those guys up, Hook tries to come in. and Frank Cole just kind of slaps him up But he grabs a

Hook's hand and then jams it into a post Mary's trying to go Frank do something and do something He goes no no it's all right man watch this He's good He's good He just said they're drunk the whole time And then they end up leaving and all that

So but after all that When they do have the meetings with Vaneris and everything, we find out the reason that they're trying to push Frank and everybody off of his land is they found out that there's oil deposits or whatever under his property. So that's why.

And Frank and those guys don't know that's there. So that's why they're trying to get them off so they can go in there and drill for oil and everything. So that's why this whole story and why those guys keep coming after him. but luckily Cole came to town but there wouldn't have been no movie so

did he ever get beat up no because he was fighting hell of fools he's the white ninja he can't be touched he's the white savior but there was a scene when

hook and those guys show up because the guy that they when Cole first came over and started fighting everyone for the first time, there was a Filipino guy. He was one of the workers. They basically saved him. So when Hook goes back to Frank's house and then they see that guy, the Filipino dude that beat up, Hook goes up to him and goes, hey, I told you never to come back here.

And then everyone's like, ah, Cole, I think he was running around with Mary somewhere because Frank's there and he can't do nothing. So they grab that worker guy and they're beating, they all pull Frank and they're beating him up off to the side. But then they tie up that worker by the hands and start dragging them around behind a car in the dirt. And shout out to the stunt, man. Oh, Frank and Mary were off out. Horse riding.

Yeah, in cahoots out in the cut and everything. They're just hanging out. But did you notice every time Frank was talking to Cole, he was just like, yeah, man, just basically tell him, yeah, my wife's here, take her. I mean, she needs it. So, but he didn't say it that. So bluntly, you ever notice how beautiful my wife is? She got a nice body, man. Check it out.

And all this. So once Cole shows up, he jumps off his horse and commences to kick an ass. There's at least, if not 20, a little shy of 20 guys that are all there. And I love how they all surround him, but one at a time, they all go. Like, you guys could have easily took him if you all just rushed him at once, but nope. He beats the hell out all them and they all go running off. but then a hook is standing there and he's trying to get away

but Cole grabs his hook hand and then just pulls it off I don't know if it was hooked to his skin it looked like it was bleeding yeah because when he pulled it off

it was his little stub was all bloody so I don't know if it works like that yeah I mean I'm pretty sure it's just you put it over I mean I don't disrespect I mean to call it a stump but

that's how it is yeah because Hook's uh hand is all bloody but they got to do the jokes because because Cole when uh

hook is walking away Frank is like hey you forgot something and then he throws his hook hand and then you get that wah wah wah wow wow wow wow wow that takes me out of the movie

I was like come on you guys are better than that yeah that was I think that was the final the final battle because Vanarius his guy he had a

a big tall, cool looking building where I guess, assume he owned the whole building was his headquarters. He was talking to his other guys that were in command. And he was telling them, he was like, look, man, he goes, we got to stop this guy. And he goes, we need a ninja. Get me a ninja. And all this.

Mr. Parker, his right hand man. Where can I get one? Because they'd find out who Cole is and where he came from and everything. How did they find out? somebody came back with like all his information i assume it was the the second man in command mr. yeah because he just came in and just spilled the beans but what they did earlier they did say well find out what you can about this guy and he came back and he was like it's not karate

it's ninjitsu yeah i don't know where you found out all this and or anything because I'm sure that's type of stuff you don't write down an application. So, yeah, I don't know how he found out. But he told Vaneras is like, fuck that. We need a ninja. Get me a ninja. Mr. Parker quickly takes a plane all the way to Japan. Yeah.

Where did he? How did he know where to go? Well, he met with that guy. I'm assuming the guy is the guy that can get you anything. And he was like, I need a, I need a ninja. He was like, you want it? You want a ninja? I'll find you a ninja

Yeah And apparently you could just go to the ninja school And hire ninja Yeah you can just go up Hey man I need one of you guys I need your best So are ninjas like mercenaries Like they just do whatever job for the money

Um Maybe not in the Maybe in the 80s But back in the day they were more I mean they were just assassins for whoever the king or I don't know how their royalty

thing works over there but seemed like the head head of the school didn't even care who

they were hiring ninjas to is I'll give me my best ninja yeah because he just came in and

obviously go yeah we need one and we'll pay you and I'm surprised of just the well the letting in white guys so maybe just

you know what hell I'll take that money so Yeah, Hasagawa, because they, they told him, well, this is who we need you to take care of. And when he saw that, he was like, all right. I'm surprised he didn't say, I'll do it for free. But because he wanted to get back at Cole, Hasagawa wanted to get back and mainly, because, well, he didn't really say it. He dishonored him or whatever.

I don't know. I figured that. It would be a better story if he, like, turned against his master for allowing. Yeah, like, if he would have killed his master. Yeah. And then. Then they would have had a showdown later. Yeah, then cool would have to go over there to avenge him.

But, no, we didn't get any of that. We get some guy just showed up. Hey, hire, I want to rent one of your ninjas. That ninja friar in this school. So, because when he goes there, they go back to the Philippine, it was a night scene. They go to Franks and Frank and Mary are just kind of sitting around, just having dinner and hanging out. But they knew shit was going sideways, so they had to hire all these security guards to, to walk around.

This part was funny because when shit started going sideways, Frank went walking outside. Security! Security guards! Where are you? He was yelling and I was like, what the fuck is happening here?

This is when he was like, they're supposed to be 20 of them. Yeah. But I only see six or something like that. Because he goes out there. And the ninja or Shokosugi is just like killing everybody in sight.

He killed all the security guards. And then he's chasing Frank and he catches him. And then he did he do you know? He caught Marianne first and had her like tied up

on a tree. Because he Okay, he had her tied up. And then Frank came running after her. He was like, Mary. And then like, the, he threw one of the ninja stars.

You know, because it hit him like in the leg. Yeah. And he fell down. But then that's when he went up and grabbed him and just kind of drug him off. And then he just, he's like slid his throat. Did he slit his throat in front of Mary?

Yeah. Okay. because yeah he he he had him he hasagawa had him had frank down and he pulled out his little dagger and just slid his throat and you can clearly see he didn't cut anything he just yeah squeezed the blood out of the blade yeah you got you got to get to make it work and then he burns like the i guess like the the little village area yeah because he's saying everything on fire yeah yeah I don't know if that was part of the plan, but I guess do your job. I think he was just trying to lure out coal.

So, because, yeah, after he killed Frank and then he went, like, threw him in a pool or something. And he took Mary and took off because when Cole showed up and he came back in like that, the whole village or the whole little houses and everything was on fire, he finds Frank floating in the water. flashbacks to Africa Yeah When Frank saved Cole During the war

So Cole was like I made the promise To not do it Anymore So he had to break out All his Ninja stuff

Because he finds Yeah he breaks out All his ninja stuff And Gears up and gets ready He goes to Vaneris's building and he goes in there

and then he starts he starts he's coal starts running through all of everybody his security I guess because I was like wait what's happening

here so I liked how when he was running through the building he takes out one dude with his little little darts or whatever

he throws he takes out a security guard sitting at a desk and he runs up just in time as this lady worker lady comes around a corner she sees him and runs away screaming I'm like it's supposed to be all nice and quiet but did you notice the the little score and the sounds in the background when he was walking around Yeah.

I was like, ninja, I was like, come on. It was almost Friday the 13th. Yeah. So he,

Cole is running around looking for Vanarius. Yeah, he met him before. He knew what he looked like. All right. Yeah. So he's walking through.

He's trying to be all secret. Why does he come down into the pool room where all the ladies and guys are just hanging out, having drinks and splashing around the pool. He's not an experienced ninja. We have to remember. He just passed ninja school. I like this part was funny because he's standing there looking around because everyone,

the whole pool, it's an inside pool. Everyone kind of just takes off running and screaming and this guy comes out, stay right where you are. And then he spins around and just barely taps that guy's gun that he's holding and he drops it. And then he gets one of his many sores that he's got on his back and just stabs that dude. And he goes falling into the into the pool. So once Colz starts running around and he gets, he's still lurking around trying to find Vaneris.

He lets out all his little, little flasher bombs. Because everywhere he went, he'd go by and then two henchmen would come running up. And then, and then the bright flash of whatever, magnesium. And then there's all smoke. And then he, when they're all blinded by the smoke, he's when he comes in and slices them up and everything. There was a lot of throat cutting and face slashing and everything. Because he started taking all them out.

But then he gets to the main room. where Vanarius is and all his gang. Was that a professional cockfighting ring? I guess. It's like super big in the Philippines, I suppose. Yeah, because it's like a little arena. It's a little dirt fenced in area, but all nice. We got the bleachers and everything.

All those little smoke bombs start going off. And Vanaris is just screaming. Mr. Parker, get him. And he's just screaming and yelling and starts yelling at Mr. Parker. Go get the woman. And where the hell is our ninja? I'm like, oh, my God. Where's the black ninja?

I want my ninja. So, yeah, well, they go to do that. Cole starts coming in again. And he's just whooping ass and killing. everyone that's getting in his way. I loved how he never got all the slicing and dice and he did. He didn't get no blood on his white. His white nature thing.

Most of these kills right now are like not up close. Like the one dude, he shoots like 10 blowdarts into his chest like over and over. I like when he, two guys come running up on him and he. throws out smoke bomb then he pulls out the size is that what they're called yeah he pulls those out and those two guys are standing there watching him as he's twirling them around

I mean I'm sure you've seen martial arts films if someone pulls one of those things out I mean you better duck in cover or something but they're all standing there in the open he flips him around for a minute and they're like who is this guy and then he throws them at those both at them and yeah the other guy says something goofy because the guy was like who is that guy and he's

like brother i don't know so once he kills those two and i was like come on man these guys are i'm watching it everyone they really put into acting because they slowly fall as they're grunting around and then they both hit the ground and dead so cole's still running around he finally makes it to the, well, after he kills more guys and everything as he's trying to get up there, shoots a couple guys with his bow and arrow. He starts lighting them up and then somewhere during a fight, he can't use it anymore.

So he starts throwing ninja stars and his little daggers and these little dart things that he had. So when he gets there, he finally gets to, what's his name Vanaris Yeah But this is when

Mr. Parker comes out Marianne He has her at gunpoint Oh does he Yeah Okay So yeah He's got

He comes walking out Mr. Parker Holden Mary Ninja Come on We got the girl And he's just threatening the killer if he doesn't come out. And Van Eris is still screaming around.

This is the clip I'm played in the beginning, everybody, because it's just goofy. So while they're talking, oh, sorry. got the gun on Mary. Cole pulls out his, I guess, I thought he broke his bow and arrow already, but he doesn't.

But he shoots Mr. Parker in the wrist. Like, hella slow in the arrow, with arrow through his wrist. He's, ah, he drops the gun. Doesn't he say something about, I think I'm injured or something? Hold on. What did he say? Oh.

He's looking down at his wrist because the arrow went all the way through, And he goes, I think I've been hurt, sir. Who wrote this dialogue? So, Mary's running and Vanaris is still lurking around. But Cole gets up to Mr. Parker, got to throw through a smoke bomb, and then he strangles him. Oh, no, no. He's got his, is a disorder? Oh, it's one of his daggers.

to Mr. Parker's throat. And he's just trying to, trying to get him, get him to get the woman or give up the woman. But Mr. Van Eris is like, nah, he goes, because he goes, when he's holding that blade to his throat, he goes, look, man, he goes,

if you don't listen, I'm going to kill him. And then Vanero's like, well, I don't care, nothing to me. So Vanieres pulls out his gun and starts firing, and he's the one that killed Mr. Parker. he gets shot in the chest and then he goes down. But before he said, let's out one little, but sir, and then falls over. And then Veneres tries to talk to the ninja.

Hey, ninja, come on, let's work this out. But he ain't having it. But this part was awesome. Cole pulls out a star and it throws it at him. it gets vaneras in the chest. Now this is some acting right here. It's all slow motion too. And you can clearly see there's something under his shirt.

But when he after this is in slow motion and he's going, and then he looks at the camera like, what the fuck? And then falls over and that's the end of Vanaris. So like, all right. but now on to the final fight. The final five minutes of the movie. Oh, yeah. I mean, well, it took like 10 minutes before the actual fight

because Hasagawa shows up and Cole and they're standing in a little, I assume it's the cockfighting arena. They're both standing there. and Hasagawa's got Mary and then they're both looking at him and then there's not much dialogue during this scene because he tells them that they're both looking at each other

and then he just like, all right, well, this is what we're going to do. So they have a standoff really. because they're both staring at each other, but they wanted to do it the honorable way. So he,

they let Mary go. Because she's got a gag in her mouth. He kind of lets her go. He just cuts the, I think her on her hands are tied up or something. So he cuts that, takes the thing off her mouth, and then he just holds his arm out.

And then she kind of. He even opens, the gate for her. Yeah. You can go so it's nothing to do with you. I mean, at least he had some kind of honor because, yeah, he walks away

from it. And then he lets her out and then he shuts the gate and then they go into their battle mode. This is where it took 10 minutes because they're both standing there. Getting ready.

Well, for them were, they were crouched and then they started getting ready and then they're doing the crazy knuckle crack whatever those signs I don't know I mean no disrespect if you guys know but whatever they keep locking their fingers

and doing it all kinds of crazy ways I kind of felt like it was what is it in karate kid Cada yeah something like that I guess so

they're standing there sitting there doing all that and then they're gearing up and get ready for war so because yeah when they laugh after they let her go and then shit man my fucking internet sucks they um they look at each other and then they all start getting ready and then next thing you know they just spring into action and then they start uh fighting it's really short clearly this is not Frank O'Nero Oh no It's a much thinner guy Doing these flips and cartwheels

And Yeah because once they Once they get in action Hasagawa's got his His staff with a blade at the end And Coles got his Catanasaur And they just start going at it swinging it

I mean even for the choreography I loved when they have these things when they do these fighting, especially with the swords. The movie that really stands out to me, not a ninja movie, the Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. I mean, but if you watch all those old school, Shalind movies and everything,

all that sword fighting is amazing. But I just love this type of stuff. So they're fighting. Cole throws some ninja powder at Asagawa kind of blinds him for a minute. That was our question about that. If they're fighting honorably, is the powder in the eyes honorable? Well, I guess if you use nothing but your ninja tools, I mean.

Yeah, but you know, watching the wrestling, that's what the heels do, throw the powder. Well, in Hasagawa's eyes, Cole is the heel. he's the white ninja Yeah he doesn't think that he deserved to have that title Ninja I mean he's not he's not wrong

Yeah When Hasagawa when he starts Pulling out the the ninja stars And the throwing at him And Cole's just Dodging him and hitting him away I'm like come on All right

Yeah Hasagawa's got his big Little bow staff and then he kind of tries to stab Cole with it, but Cole grabs it. Like he kind of claps the blade and he's holding it together.

And then Hasagawa's trying to pull it up, but Cole holds it so tight, he gets a hold of it, and then he flips. I don't know why Hasagawa didn't just let it go, but he flips, Cole flips Hasagawa over and he falls on to his back, but he still holds.

holding the little staff with the blade on it and then reaches up behind him and just brings it down and stabs Hasagawa in the stomach. And that's pretty much the end of him. Because he's laying there still with that thing in his gut. And then he kind of gets to his knees. And he knows he's defeated. And then he basically tells him like, all right, I know you're going to kill me, but kill me with honor.

So he does it. Cole takes his mask off and Hasagawa's, his little face covering kind of falls off when he flips over. But yeah, he told him kill me, kill me with honor. So he kind of gets on his hands, his knees. And Cole looked like he didn't want to do it. I mean, I think he would have killed him eventually, but I don't think he wanted to

do it because when the look that he has in his face is like his eyes are super red like he's getting ready to cry but Hasagawa was standing there or kneeling over and Cole bows to him

brings up his his sword and then cuts Hasagawa's head off so I'm like okay if the police show up for whatever reason all your little ninja weapons have your fingerprints all over it but

well who knows maybe they didn't do that type of stuff in the film there's no police coming here so well I'm sure somebody must have called the cops because when he came into that room into the swimming pool area there was hell of people in there and everybody ran out and that one lady saw well no she didn't see it but when he came up in and he shot that little dart into the security guy that was sitting at the desk,

and then she came running down the hall, and scream and ran away. So somebody should have called the cops. But flash forward, Frank's, he's gone. Mary doesn't want to leave because she's like, no, this is my home. I'm going to stay here and keep the farm going, the plantation going, whatever. they were doing.

I assumed she didn't know about the oil because they never really mentioned it. Hey, there's oil under our land. Yeah, I don't think she was involved in those conversations. I don't even think Frank knew or coal. So, uh, dollar, I think that was his name was. Yeah. He takes coal to, uh, to the airport and basically a guy. you headed and I don't know

he said who you're going to go kill next oh and then he tells him ninja don't kill they eliminate and then here comes hook he comes walking up and I guess after he was defeated

when he got his hand his hook pulled off he was one of those guys that carries your bags at the airport what's his name fired him so he had to find some job

he comes up to him and then Cole looks over at him and the hook sees him and is like oh fuck and then he goes running away and then yeah that's when that's when the dollar goes who you're gonna kill now and all that and he says that and he's now he eliminates and then

he says that then he looks at the camera and kind of gives it a little grin so is he going to go eliminate hook I assume that's what he was going to do leave that man alone he's defeated he's a baggage handler now so but you got the the the classic 80s i don't even think he's a baggage handler because he just had like a random dolly with no bags on it i think he was just out there hustling and help him so with no hook yeah cole looks at

the camera it freezes and the credit start rolling and that is enter the ninja. I still, again, like I said, I still get enjoyment out of this film. It's goofy and everything. But for the time for 1981, I mean, it was awesome. I mean, it's still cool today.

But yeah, I mean, there's nothing really much else to say about it. But do you have this on Blu-ray? no I got them in my my cart and uh Amazon I'm on um do you do IMDB and I assume that they're calling this the ninja trilogy yeah so and then they have all the the VHS boxes uh these ain't the covers they have there this isn't the ones I remember

seen in the video store the one I saw was the poster It was on a white box I can close my eyes and picture it on the rack But Enter the Ninja everyone It's 80s cheese and 80s goodness So but yeah

If you have Well everyone has Freevi Is that what I watched it on? Yeah Freevi is where If you don't have a blue or DVD or VHS tape.

You can watch it there if we sold it to you. But I mean, I think if you like these martial arts type of film, the ninjas and everything and goofy films, this is one for you. Oh, the one part, the one kill that I liked is when Cole, when he was going through all those little,

a little spiky throwing things he had, he had like a handful and threw it at one of the little henchmen they were running around. They all just stuck into his face and that's how I'm like man these guys are carrying around all kinds of shit man so but I love this one but yeah

enter the ninja everyone check it out if you haven't seen it all right well we're going to keep this train rolling on the next installment of the Ninja trilogy 1983's Revenge of the Ninja.

Streaming on Pluto TV, if you don't have it on Blu-ray or anything. I have all three of them. Yeah, this is the one that I saw first. I saw in the theater. Yeah, this is the one I've seen the most. This is out of the three. That Revenge of the Ninja is my favorite one.

so you might change your mind out to ninja three the domination i haven't seen that a long time so i have the the screen factory but yeah Pluto tv everyone uh it's on there if um it was on amazon for a minute but i don't think it is anymore on prime let me see everything gets moved around i don't think it is double check on my app. Nope. Revenge of the Ninja is on

Pluto. Yeah. And if anybody wants to watch ahead, Ninja 3, it's available nowhere. But oddly

enough, that's the only Blu-ray one I own. It was, I remember seeing it everywhere for Yeah, but it's

every month. these streaming sites or streaming services cycle movies okay because i remember i want to say it was on shutter for a minute yeah it was okay i know i guess they were throwing the horror aspect but yeah we'll get to that when we get to yeah that's that's that's that's a whole episode by itself so yeah but yeah come back next time for uh revenge of the ninja and one, thank you so much for waiting. I know it's been months and months, but we're finally back.

We are going to do a little more of this. I don't know where we're going after the Ninja trilogy. I would like to do these old school ninja ones. Was it the Nine Ways of the Ninja? I think that's what it was called? Yeah. And then pray for death.

We still got to finish those American Ninja movies. I'm telling you, I don't know if it was three or four, but one of them is like, I watched it and I was like, we, we got to do an episode on this movie. It's ridiculous. I don't remember. Whatever was the first one without the, the original guy when they got the new guy in, that one is ridiculous. There's one movie I want to do. I'm looking at

Shokosuggy's thing he was in Bad Newsberry goes Japan okay there was one movie oh Black Eagle he did

a man damn movie yeah this was was this before I think this was after I think this was after I think it was before no

No retreat, no surrender. Was it before? I thought it was after. I think it was before, but they didn't credit him. Okay, because I remember, yeah, after watching no retreat, no surrender at the video store, I saw, I saw him first because he's pretty prominent on the video box. So I was like, oh, cool, what is this? and I looked at it

and no no retreat surrender was first okay he did no retreat no surrender then bloodsport and I assume the same year he did a black eagle so but when I was looking at the box

because I saw Van Dam I was all right cool right on he's got another movie and that's when I realized Shokensugi was in it I was like oh hell yeah so he's a Russian again if you guys seen

did we ever do no treat no surrender? No, we were supposed to. All right, well, everyone, that's coming. Oh, yeah, but yeah, everyone, come back for a revenge of the ninja. We promise you next week, because I started watching it last night again. But, yeah, for everything dealing

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what our picks are before we do that episode Everyone listens to almost three-hour elimination chamber. Thanks. I don't know how that happened. Well, WrestleMania might be long because it's two nights, everyone. So my fingers are crossed that I go. So I'm not sure.

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Spotify podcast now Spotify for podcasters yeah Spotify for podcasters and I assume the link that I put on all episodes are it still works i don't know i didn't realize it until today uh i was checking on the the the listeners on um on uh the last episode we did the uh nez's 22 oscar watch

we see if that link still works yeah it does it still ain't yeah i think they just changed the logo in the name that's it yeah Oh, no. Well, it goes to Spotify for podcasters, but it says, whoops, we landed on a page. It doesn't exist anymore. I guess I got to get the new link to put on there. But anyway, yeah, just listening to everything we got over there on Spotify for podcasters and all that. We didn't put out a regular episode for EZ Society because we did the NES watch on Spotify. then we did, Taylor and I did an ESP at the movies when we covered the new scream film. So listen to that.

If you guys listen to that one, and haven't seen the movie yet, we do a non-spoiler review in the beginning, and then you hear the siren or whatever noise I put there. And then that's when we dive into spoilers and everything. Talked about our favorite deaths and all that that was going on in the film. So, but yeah, listen to all that and everything else. So, but again, everything go to Hortarreturns.com.

Links to everything we got going. Next thing for stream fiends, we got, um, the 90, something. I can't remember one. Lean on me. Yeah. Can't remember where year that one came out. But yeah, we got that one coming for you later on. So, but with that, everyone, please be safe out there and come back next time for more. So until then, part of you.

on and be good to each other.