The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #112: The Pulse (2001) & Unfriended: Dark Web (2018) (Reupload)

Episode Date: April 29, 2024

This week, we check out a few dark web movies. Thanks, as always, for going back in time with us to some old classics! The Horror Returns Website: https://thehorrorreturns.com THR YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/@thehorrorreturnspodcast3277 THR Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thehorrorreturns THR Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thehorrorreturns/ Join THR Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1056143707851246 THR X: https://twitter.com/horror_returns?s=21&t=XKcrrOBZ7mzjwJY0ZJWrGA THR Instagram: https://instagram.com/thehorrorreturns?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= THR TeePublic: https://www.teepublic.com/user/the-horror-returns SK8ER Nez Podcast Network: https://www.podbean.com/pu/pbblog-p3n57-c4166 E Society Spotify For Podcasters: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/esoc E Society YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCliC6x_a7p3kTV_0LC4S10A Music By: Steve Carleton Of The Geekz

Hi, this is Fiona Duref, and you are listening to The Horror Returns. Greetings, victims. For those of you delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify and go. Welcome. You have found a place where the horror returns. Listeners beware. This podcast contains major plot spoilers and the foulest of language. Join us in celebrating the old and the new, the best, and the worst in horror.

To the horror returns, the greatest show on earth, right, Brian? The greatest. I'm with me as always. Are my co-host Brian and Philip? Philip, what are you up to, man? You work today, right? Yeah, every day. I'm trying to make that money.

Yeah, and, you know, pay bills. Still paying for the Disney trip from last year we were talking about, huh? Yep, that'll do it. Well, and, you know, buying a new house and trick. out the jeep. Oh, I got some new tires, by the way. Oh, yeah? My cool of the week.

Yeah, I had to get new tires on my truck. They were worn down to, like, no tread at all. And they happened to have these stock Hummer tires that would fit my Jeep, sort of. You made it work. Yeah, they barely fit. I'm going to have to lift it at some point. but they look kick ass at the moment. I just can't go off road.

Yeah, I don't know. We didn't, in the tires you had a couple weeks ago, we didn't have any trouble getting over that stump on the beach, man. I was worried. You had me getting down on that one. Yeah, that was a big one. These are like, okay, so those were like 32-inch tires. These are like 35s.

And if we went over that stump now, I'd probably break the fender off. Oh, be careful. All right. You gotta lift the truck up, huh? Yeah. What's going on in Alaska, Brian? Uh, good weather, sunny. I'll bet.

Yeah. Everybody's, uh, acting like they're dying up here. Oh, because it's hot from the heat. Yeah, only in the 80s. Oh, I love it. Not too bad. I wish. I wish.

I was in an attic all day to day. It was like, fuck. It was like 200 degrees. Yeah. It was like, quote. falling around and working while you're in a sauna. It was awful.

Ouch. Oh, man. Well, you guys ready to move on to Cool of the Week? Yeah, actually, I do. I watched... Okay, so I've finished watching the second season of Westworld. Oh, no spoilers.

I am confused as fuck. That is what I'm hearing. I'm hearing a lot of people are tapping out because they're like just confused totally well I mean okay so it starts out very philosophical and slow and then it ramps up hard

man there's a lot of really cool action stuff and and and people getting killed and back to like first season shit right and then at the end mostly just the last episode no no no no no no no spoilers Okay. But just the last episode, mostly, it goes, again, very philosophical, very fucking weird.

And I'm still not entirely sure what happens. Plus, there's so many time jumps in it. Yeah, that's what bothered me with the first season. They jump from one time to another, and you don't know which time is real. Yeah. It's very confusing. I'm hoping that they straighten that shit out in the third season and maybe stop doing it

because it's it's not like Pulp Fiction time jumps. You know what I mean? This shit makes a difference. I don't know how old these people are. I don't know if they're fucking robots or not. It's confusing. Yeah, that's rough. I had to tap out of Legion for that very reason. I couldn't keep up with it, man. Yeah, it gets...

Legion gets really weird, too. I haven't finished the second season of that one. Right. That just got greenlit for season three. Did it? Yeah. I mean, I'm okay. I'm okay with it.

Like, I want to finish watching the second season. I just haven't done it yet. But it is, it is, it does get a little weird. Very Westworldly. Yes. On the opposite end of the spectrum, I watched Super Trooper 2, and it was awesome. Nice. They're in Canada.

There's some Mountie shenanigans. Jim Law didn't like it. He was offended by it, wasn't he, Brian? Yeah, he said way too many jokes about Canada. Oh, come on. Even more than a Kevin Smith movie, huh? It was great. The best scene in the movie is when they're, like, posing as Canadian Mounties, and they pull over an American tourist, and they don't speak French. And so they just start spitting out this just French gibberish.

And there's like, pulle you cooos, Luke Robotai and what I was, oh, wow. Sound like a stoner movie big time. Yeah, it's great. I highly recommend it. Highly. Yeah. Allegedly it's available, so I'll probably check it out. What did you see, Brian?

Okay. From our, is it really that bad episode? We had some questions about the leprechaun. The lepricom. How did he get where he was in the beginning of lepercon? in the hood. So I went back to watch leprechaun in space. Which...

We did some research. Leprecon origins. Which, I'll get to that next week. Leprecon in Space. Now, it has no connection whatsoever to leprechaun in the hood. Okay. Totally standalone, huh? Yeah. And

that might have got a worse rating if we chose that one. No kidding. Sounds like it. is horrible, like, bad. Lepricon in the hood was dumb, but it was funny. Is Leprocon in space the one that starts out in Vegas? No, I think that, don't quote me, but that might be number two.

It's neither two or three. Okay. Which I don't need to go back because it wouldn't even explain, I guarantee you it wouldn't even explain why he's in space. Right. So, don't want to. watch Lepricon in Space. It's horrible. Pass.

And then Kevin brought up House of the Dead 2. Oh, yes. So I went ahead and check that out. These are all on Amazon Prime if anybody wants to dare. I don't have anything bad to say about this movie, but I don't have anything good to say

about it. It's run-of-the-mill generic zombie movie. Nothing really special happens. Which kind of the first one a little bit better. Better. At least it was so bad it's good. Right.

Oh, no. Anything really good you saw or what? I'm still watching Sharp Objects on HBO. We're starting to get more into the story. Still, no spoilers, only in episode two.

But I'm enjoying it. It really does look like it's going to be a nice slow burn. And I started the I watched the first episode of season one, and I think I'm in. Cool. Yeah? Yeah.

All right. I have one not so cool of the week. Just fucking movie pass. Movie pass. I got hit with the peak pricing last night. Oh, no. How much extra do they charge you? It was like $3.24, which I wasn't.

I wasn't mad at because it's, you know, $3. Right. But when I got in there, okay, Lance, you've been keeping up with movie pass. So what is the peak pricing? Well, okay, so you're doing it month by month? Yes. Okay, see, I'm exempt from that. I got lucky because I bought the one year for the $79 bucks around, what was it, December.

Good decision. Yeah, so they said, I read in the article, the yearly, you're exempt from having to pay the peak pricing. until your ear is up. So I don't know anything about it. My understanding was it was supposed to be like only super mega hit movies and only like opening weekend. What movie was it that you were seeing? Oh, the movie we'll talk about later on tonight.

Are you fucking serious? And let me, I'm sending you guys a picture right now. I took a picture of my, yes. I got charged at extra price. $3 extra for an empty theater? Yes. and I sent it and that is... And mind you, the trailers were coming on.

Right. So there were still people coming in. Another six more people came in. Oh, wow. Yeah. Practically filled up. I was like that too when I got in to see it, man. It was like, I thought I was going to have a Santos-Ellen Jr. moment and take my pants off.

Well, you had Equalizer, too, also coming out this weekend. which I feel like is a lot bigger release. Well, I wonder what the peak pricing for that would have been. Probably $5.10, huh? Yeah. I don't know. That's a cancellation right there. Yeah.

Yeah, if it's going to be like every weekend we're going to review a movie or I'm just going to go watch a movie just because I don't know if I'm going to keep it. I think I'm going to yeah, I think when this is over in December, I'm going to let it go.

and pick up the AMC a list plan for 1999 a month. Yeah, see, my theater doesn't have that, but what it does you, it's got a point system though. So even if like, like say I hang on until like the rest

of the year, I can just redeem my points for free movie passes, so. That's better than nothing. I was, yeah, I went to Thursday night I went to see Mama Mia. Here we go again with the wife. There was a lot of people

there last night watching that. It was actually it was a cute movie. The first one was really good. This one was really cheesy, but hey, the wife wanted to see it. What are you going to do? But I ran into our man, Richard at the AMC theater. And the dude that helped me out, I mentioned it, what, about

a month ago or so. Oh, the AMC in spring. Yep. AMC. That's my theater, man. Another shout out to Richard, dude. I know you listen, brother. He said, what did you go to guys go to see you. I said, mama me. He said, is that going to be your cool of the week?

I said, probably not. So we, yeah, man, we picked up a listener, dude. I'm glad you're listening. Keep listening, Richard. I'll see you up there a lot because I'm going A-list in December for sure. Fuck movie pass. Oh, I have one more cool of the week. Last week, after we had done recording, I took my youngest daughter to see Big in the theater. the 30th anniversary is showing oh i saw you put that on uh facebook nice yeah it's uh i really like that

that era of tom hanks movies does it holds up uh for me it does she was a little bored with she liked all the stuff where he was you know still you could tell he's still a kid but in an adult's body all that stuff but all the other stuff she started like you know looking at the crowd and playing around in her chair, but... Right. But she, of course, wants that piano. Oh, yeah. At the toy store that's closed down now.

Yeah, that's what I told her. I was like, oh, that toy store closed down, so... Right. Yep, Amazon killed a video star. Whatever. They had a... So big. Some sort of, like, little league wrestling in Florida.

where they had a... Midgett Wrestling? No, like I haven't actually seen the video, but I was told about it, so I have to share it. There was a wrestler that was Jerry Giraff from Toys R Us. No way. And he was the Royal Rumble. And he was going to win the Royal Rumble.

And then some dude comes in with this big Amazon box and beats him over the head with him. beats him up and then throws him out of the ring. Let me tell you my problem with that video. My Amazon packages don't come that quick because he called. He had enough time to call. Oh, he called. Yeah.

Jared's a second later. Go to your own fucking store. Maybe that's what the fucking problem is. Right? Yeah. And I want to, all you people that are so mad about Toys R Us closing. You guys weren't going in the first place. When's the last time you went to Tosurus?

I know, I know, I know Nes was there on every, every Star Wars weekend. Fucking Nets there, though. That may be the only time he was ever there, but, he was, he was a, like, Secret Society Toys R Us member. He probably funded the whole thing.

I'm thinking. Could be. There's some sort of conspiracy there, and I know it. Nez. So did we get off track or are we still talking cool of the week? I think I think we got off track. But I was about to get off track again. I just want to say Nez, congratulations, episode 100.

Oh yeah, bad ass. MacNess and E Society. And congratulations. Yeah, that's where they are. I tried to call him earlier and he said, what do you want? Fuck off. I'm busy. Of course he didn't say that.

But, yeah, I could tell he was busy, says, I said, I'll just give you a call later tonight. Maybe we ought to try to call into him here, see if he's available. He's probably got a thousand people around him. Is Comic-Con still going? Yeah, it's like, what, 6 p.m. there right now, huh? Oh, yeah, he is, like, he goes.

He goes and goes. True. Occasionally, he'll post, you know, well, he keeps everybody updated with pictures and stuff. everybody, you know, go follow them on Facebook, Instagram. Mm-hmm. Looks like a lot of fun going on. But I think we get back on track.

Lance, did you do your cool of the week? Oh, you know what? My cool of the week was a prior cool of the week for you, Phil. Fucking badass movie. I finally got around to seeing Red Sparrow. Oh, yeah. That was cool one, huh? Fucking awesome.

Yeah, such a great movie, man. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I saw it in a dude. Yeah. I loved it, man. It's got everything in it. Great storyline.

The twist at the end were all believable. It wasn't like another movie we may talk about tonight. Horrible twist that make no sense. But yeah, it was well plotted out. And I don't know why it's two hours and 20 minutes. It felt like an hour and a half movie. Yeah, a lot of people was like they didn't like it. It was long and this and that.

I don't know. It showed me what possibly this Black Widow movie could be. Right. Yeah. I mean, it's not... The Black Widow movie is not going to go hard R, but... Yeah, I don't think it'll be as rough as this was. Yeah, but I think it could work, excuse me, based on this movie.

Scarlett Johansson is just as good an actress as Jennifer Lawrence. I truly believe that, and Jennifer Lawrence killed this one. And I love all these movies. See, I'm not a really... big fan of her in the Hunger Game movies or like the Exmo movies, but when she does like these other movies like this and like

Silver Linens playbook and passengers, like I love her in these movies. Don't forget Mother. Yeah, yes, yes. But yeah, I thought, yeah, she had a great, there was a great cast. I did not expect to see Sarah and Heinz and Jeremy Aaron

show up as the Russians. Mm-hmm. That surprised me. There was a lot of really talented people in the movie. Joel Edgerton was pretty good. Oh, he was awesome. Yeah. Charlotte Rampling, she did her best interpretation of Ann Dowd in like the

Handmaid's Tale or something, just like really sinister. Yeah, great movie. Red Sparrow, anybody who hasn't seen it, check it out for sure. Yeah, definitely. It's out worth to watch. Definitely worth to watch. We've got a lot to cover tonight, guys. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, a lot to cover. A lot of trailers. This week, we're going to combine. our news and trailer segment into one because it is Comic Con weekend. San Diego Comic Con. All right.

And let's just dive right in it. Lance, I know you were really excited about this one. Star Trek Discovery, Season 2 trailer dropped. Oh, dude. Excited? Understatement, anybody? I mean, holy shit, dude.

Man, I can't believe what I saw here. And then Pike and the original the OG uniform. Original series uniform. Holy shit. And he's coming on board. And I guess it would make sense.

They don't have a captain. Of course he's going to have to assume command. And wow, they mention Spock. And another search for Spock, I guess, huh? So you're cool with all the comedy that they threw in there. Oh, I fucking love it. I love the music. I love the, um,

What was the song that they were playing in the background, Brian? I mean, it was a new version of it. But I think it went great. Okay, so a lot of people, like old school Trek fans get pissed off. They got really mad when they did like the Beastie Boys and shit like that for the movies and stuff. I thought it fits so well. I think so, too. I think so, too.

Me too. I thought the music, it was a Lenny Kravitz song. Yeah. But I don't know if it was Cravitz performing it. It sounded like it maybe was a new band or something, but it went perfectly. Oh, that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Shit, guys, I think I had to change underwear twice watching this trailer, man.

I cannot fucking wait for season two of Discovery. And especially bringing in Pike, and obviously Spock's going to show up at some point. Probably mid-s. I'll bet Spock shows that mid-season. What do you think? I actually turned this trailer off because I didn't want any more sports. Spoilers. I'm not, I'm almost done with season one. Okay.

But the little bit I've seen, I got excited and I was like, wait, wait, wait, wait. I don't, just let me shut it off right here. So I can't really speak on it. That's nest on my list of shit to watch. Because I'm like, I don't know, three or four episodes in and I never finished. And I really want to watch it now. Well, the first half, I love, I love the way they do it where they split it into two halves. And you've got the first half, the season, and I'm hopeful they're going to do it for season two.

But, yeah, the first half story, and that was kind of for me, that was the Klingon War. And it was kind of, eh, I've kind of been there, done that. But then when they got into the second half, and they went into a place that was featured in literally my favorite episode of the original series ever, and they spent a whole half season there. It was like, fuck, this is exactly what I've been waiting for. and then now when they bring Pike in and he's in the original uniform I'm like holy shit

I can't wait for this it says early 2019 man it can't get here soon enough yeah and I'm sorry if you don't like that Beastie Boy song in the Star Trek movie you can suck it because that was awesome you know I'm not even sure

if people actually watched it because if you watched it you would see that it just with what was going on in the movie it fits so well. Yeah. Which let me go. Plus, it's a great fucking song.

Yeah. And let me go on a quick little rant here. If people are not watching the movie, I don't know if you can exactly judge it. Yeah. Because there's. Fair enough. Yeah. Because I got, I got into like a discussion about solo with somebody who said the movie was horrible.

And I was like, well, what didn't you like about it? And they were like, oh, I didn't see it. I only saw the trailer. What? What the fuck? I'm not going to watch that trash. I was like, well, how do you know the movie's trash from the trailer? Right. They happen to be right, but they've seen the movie.

They can speak from experience. It wasn't awesome, but I wouldn't call it trash. Yeah, but I would call it close to trash, man. That's my opinion. But going back to Star Trek, I know some people were like kind of turned off by the movie from watching the trailer because one of the songs was in the trailer. So. The Star Trek, that's one of my favorites so far of the Star Trek movies. They have done nothing but good shit since they stuck Big Head.

What's his name in there? Big Head. Yeah. Ron Perlman is in Star Trek. Chris Pine? Chris Pine. Chris Pine is like Midget of Ron Perlman. Yes, he's got a gigantic head.

I never noticed that. it's noticeable but he's like an orange on a tooth thick but he does a great Captain Kirk yeah he does he's got it down to a science now for sure yeah man he's killing it and everything that he's done I'm happy with

I don't know if I ever seen him wear a hat in a movie oh no it doesn't fit him we have to make specialty hats okay yeah early 2019 for that one All right. Let's see.

George R.R. Martin's Night Flyer series trailer dropped. Okay. And this one looks like Event Horizon as a TV show. Yes, it does. It's done the right way, hopefully. Yeah, what is it about? From what, I mean, the whole trailer I'm watching, I'm just like, did they just take, yeah, did they just take Event Horizon and make it into a TV series? It kind of looks like it.

Now, was this a book? Is it aliens? You know what? I should know. I have no fucking idea. I think it was a short story. I honestly think it was from a short story that he wrote. I mean, if you attach George R.R.R. Martin's name to it at this point, I think you kind of have to watch it.

It's like he's lifted himself to that Stephen King level already. Well, I kind of wish he would quit. fucking around with this and just write the next fucking book in the song of ice and fire. Well, that would be nice. I mean, whatever. Be nice if they'd come out with the next fucking season of it, too.

That would be great. Right around the corner. In a year. In a year. Another year? Yeah. No, I said in about a year. Yeah. It's 2019. But I can wait because those are going to be, each episode is going to be like full-length movies.

It fucking better be. Oh, they said each episode is going to be an hour and a half. Hour and a half? That's cool. I believe an hour and a half to two hours. Yeah. It's going to be epic movies, basically. Well, I liked every trailer you gave us this week. Dude, I was into big time.

And I'm looking forward to this. I'm glad it's on Netflix. I'm glad it's only 10 episodes. Yeah. Go ahead. No, I was just going to say, I mean, God damn, nobody is in it that I even recognize. It's almost like a B movie. And that's what I'm confused about.

Because you've got the Netflix thing at the end of the trailer, but it says sci-fi. Sci-fi is night-fi. Oh, I wonder if it's going to be sci-fi in the U.S. and Netflix in Europe. It might. That's probably what's going to happen. See, I was unclear whether it was a movie or a series. And I'm happy that it's a series. I think that it can do well.

All right, fall 2018. next up is the Walking Dead Season 9 You guys go No no, can I go first? Fuck it Yeah Alright, so you guys know I'm an avid comic book reader, right? Yeah

I love this trailer It was a six and a half minute long trailer, man That's the hell of the trailer It was showing Scene for scene right out of the comic books Which I was like, this is fucking awesome Absolutely But then I got to thinking, wait a minute

fucking Rick is not going to make it through. We already know this. He's leaving the show. And they're showing the whispers. You guys noticed at the end when they covered themselves in mud and they hid? Yeah. That scene is right out of the comic book. The two guys

that were out doing recon for the village. It's also right out of predator. Yeah, I guess so. But I mean, in the comic book, I don't know if they put mud on themselves, but they hid like in a ditch. I guess they did. Or they put zombie blood on them or something.

So they are going to introduce the Whispers, which there was a big question whether that was going to happen. That's awesome. Megan is in jail, just like in the comic books. He does have those conversations with Rick where they're kind of like playing mental chess,

just like the comic book. I can't fucking wait. I love it. I can't fucking believe Rick is leaving. I'm almost wondering if that's just a ruse. It was confirmed on the panel. I don't know. Honestly, I don't know.

Because it's still kicking in the comics. And the comics are like, at the pace they're going versus the pace of the comic books, there's like seven or eight more seasons to go before they even catch up with where the comics are. And Rick's going strong. But so is a little boy. What's his name? Carl. Carl.

Carl. Carl. So I don't know. That's kind of weird. But then again, so is Andrea. Andrea is big in the comics too. You might be on to something. Maybe them

trying to confirm over the weekend at San Diego Comic Con that he's leaving. Maybe he's not. That would be the best thing they could possibly do is to be... Yeah. Like, make it look... I don't know if they want to pull a Glenn

in the under the dumpster type thing, though. Oh, gosh. I mean, it's a little gimmicky, but, I mean, it also depends on how good the show gets, you know what I mean? Yeah. If, if, if, if, if, if this season gets really good and then they decide to not let Rick go, hey, win for everybody.

But I'm not holding my breath. I mean, what are they going to do then the Walking Dead the next generation or what? I mean, what, I guess, they keep it going forever. Darryl and Michelle. Daryl. Daryl's a great. They're both great characters. I love them.

And Daryl and Mishon are probably arguing right now better than Rick. Who? Daryl and Mishone. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I just hate to see him go. Because he's such an integral part of the comics. I mean, he's literally the centerpiece of the comic book series. Well, he's been the centerpiece of the entire series so far.

Right. Going back to episode one, right? if they kill it and go a totally different direction than the comics I mean I'm not mad at that except that they're taking the the writer of all of the legitimate stories out of it I don't know I don't know I'm excited though I love the trailer I like I like all the scenes that I saw I wish I was coming up I'm scared oh no well we will see um October 7 we're gonna be the first

Because of last season. Yeah. Well, it can't get any worse. That's true. It could. It could just be the end of the show. That's how worse it can do. No, no, it's too big of a show, man.

This show is going to be the live action version of the Simpsons. Mark my words. This show, we're going to be talking about it 20 years from now when we're still going to be like. I hope it is, and I hope that they keep getting newer and fresher things and getting better. Yeah, I'll still be around. It's not like he's doing anything else. And he plays that character so well. But I wouldn't be mad if they ended it either.

Right. All right. And with The Walking Dead, we're going to transition over to Fear the Walking Dead season four. This one I did not watch because I'm not caught up. So take it away, guys. Yeah, good thing you didn't. Well, I won't mention any of the Walking Dead season four.

of the, any of the things that you've missed then. But, uh, I don't know. I mean, this one, yeah, I'm not as excited about this, about this trailer because, uh, what did they come up upon a home of people in wheelchairs or something like that? It's like seven or eight of the characters are, or in wheelchairs all of a sudden. Did you, did you notice that, Phil? Um, yeah, I guess so. I, I don't know.

See, I'm not cut up either. But the rolling Are they going to be The Rolling Dead or what? The Rolling. Maybe they're halfway there And then the dead don't notice them Like a more war-wors-y

Oh, smart Smart I don't know I mean I like all the characters on the show I like the new characters that they've brought in I'm not Yeah I am real pissed off With some of the people they killed off

I'm not gonna lie, I'm real fucking pissed off That's the problem with these shows though, you know? And I guess they want to go off and do other like, quote, unquote, serious roles and stuff like that. And they use it as more of a springboard type thing, but you kind of get attached to these characters, you know? And you really don't want to see them leave. Yeah. Although I'm not super familiar with really any of the characters in the trailer, because it looks like they've killed off everybody from the original shit. Careful, careful. I will say this. I will say this. I don't know how that's a spoiler if it's in the trailer.

What, what, what, uh, well, but Brian said he didn't, uh, watch it all, man. Sorry, Brian. So listen, here, here's, here's one thing. You're not going to watch a shit anyway. Yes, I will. So our buddy. One day. Our buddy Patrick has got me, um, and Jay too, our buddy Jay, he's one of his favorite shows also.

But, um, they've, they've got me watching, uh, Deadwood, the Western. Yeah, I need to watch that. And it's fucking awesome. But one thing I have. noticed is a shitload of people on Deadwood show up on Fear the Walking Dead. So there must be a lot of the same like producers or, uh, casting directors or whatever that worked on both shows. Because you see a lot show up.

And I'm not, I'm not mad at anybody they've brought onto the show for sure. I love all the new characters. So, I'm in. There's no doubt. I was just a lot more impressed with the Walking Dead trailer than the Fear the Walking Dead trailer. I got to say this trailer. made me kind of want to catch up on the show. Oh, yeah?

Yeah. And I'm like, it's a good show, man. I watched the first season and that's it. Right. So, it's a damn good show, man. I kind of want to check it out. I kind of want to see if we're going to get the rolling zombies

or the Rolling Dead or whatever you call. Well, this is why when you said something last week, Brian, about the Walking Dead was going to take a turn to be more like a Western. Uh-huh. I think you get your wires crossed, dude. I think somebody must have said it was this one, because this show, it has become a modern-day Western. Well, on the Walking Dead trailer, they're riding horses,

and there was a wagon, the scene with a wagon. Okay, you got me on that one. Can't get much more Western than horses and a wagon, huh? Yep. Except have a couple of whores and some whiskey, huh? Then we'll be in Westworld then. fucking sold okay

Fear the Walking Dead Season 4 April 15th All right I'm ready Texted gives me and Philip Time to catch Okay we're gonna

We're gonna go back and forth We're gonna switch in a little bit of news So we're gonna run through these real quick American Horror Story Titles given American Horror Story Apocalypse What the fuck is that supposed to mean Now this is for that crossover

overseason with season one and the, I don't know if it was season three, the Coven with the witches. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I think they've paid themselves into a corner here. We'll see. September 12. Well, but you've got, and I've said it before, you've got the same fucking actors playing two different, literally two completely different roles in the seasons. Because they meant it at first to be like, each season had its own story.

So how in the fuck are they going to pull this off? That's why I'm interested, because this can go really great or really wrong, and I kind of want to be there for both if it happens. You tapped out of last year, didn't you? Yeah, I'm going to try. I'm going to try and catch up. I don't know if I got to power through Sarah Paulson, fucking screaming and crying through the whole season. Yeah, I know it.

She gets less dumb towards the end of it. It's just those first few episodes, she's, like, very political and opinionated. And she's like, if you want to kick her in a goddamn face. I couldn't. I just couldn't do it. I don't know. I'm afraid of clowns. I'm afraid of, like, holes in things and stuff like that.

Oh, gosh. That was a thing. Ridicrous. Yeah. Let's see. Annabell. You have way too many fucking phobias here. Yeah, yeah.

Annabel Season 3, or not season 3, Annabelle 3 announced. And this one, they're going to connect it. Annabelle 3 was announced. Is that really necessary? They're bringing back the Warrens. Okay. Are they bringing back that little girl that drives me nuts? No.

This, from what I understand, from what I understand, this will take place when they bring the doll to the house. Oh. Oh, then we get some family stuff because they have a kid, right? Yeah, and there's some kind of connection between the doll and the girl. Like it's almost, you know, calling her or something. Oh, boy. Okay. And I think we're going to get a glimpse into that room where they lock everything up.

Yeah. That could be creepy. Plus, listen, on the last Annabelle, if you haven't seen it, I think they did a really good job of just nailing scary scenes. So I'm excited about this. They've done a great job with that one, and they did an even better job with the second... I can't think of the name of the movie.

Ouija? No. Oh, conjuring. Yeah, conjuring, too. One of the best fucking scary movies that I've seen in the past 20 years. Oh, and the actress is Lulu Wilson. That's who you're talking about. With the Disney eyes.

She irritates the shit out of me. Sorry. She's like fucking, let's stick Polly Pocket in on a scary movie. Polly Pocket. What the fuck? You don't know Polly Pocket. It's what came out. Poly Pocket.

Is anything like Pocket? Pool? I'm thinking Shirley Temple. That's just the name that came out of my mouth. Let's see. We talked about Anne Rice's The Vampire Chronicles as being turning to a series. It is coming to Hulu.

Oh, I'm all in, man. Yep. Some of my favorite books. I'm all caught up now. I finally read the new the new Lestat book, Prince Lestat. Any good? Yeah. It's got a lot of the same stupid, kind of like questionable, almost homoerotic bullshit in it that somebody looks did.

But she gets real flowery sometimes with the, but I mean, the characters are great. They're always real fast reads, for sure. I mean, it's very well-written stuff. It just gets a little out there, if you catch my meaning. But, yeah, it's good stuff, man. Lestat's a good character. We used to have a cat named Lestat. Yeah.

Nice. For that reason. Lestat the cat. And he seemed very homerotic as well. Was he humping the other cats or what? I don't know. He's a cat. That's how they are.

Let's see. There was an Iron Fist Season 2 teaser, but nobody cares. No, I do. I do. Oh, you do? You like to? Yeah. He showed up in, oh, that was going to be my cool of the week.

you got edged up by Red Sparrow, but Luke Cage, season two. Not too bad, man. Not too bad. The only complaint I have about it is the ending is a little bit. It leaves a lot of questions. They're like really setting these up to do season after season. If they were to take Iron Fist and Power Man to put them together and just simply do like a 10-ep...

First of all, 13 episodes is way too many. as Netflix hero shows. But if they were to put those two together as a team and do the actual heroes for hire like they did in the comic books and make it like a 10 episode season, I'd be 1 million percent in. They're probably setting it up for that.

I hope so, man. But we don't need another whole Iron Fist season. But I like the character. Like when he showed up, the two of them work off each other great. I mean, the chemistry that the two actors have is phenomenal. Like when he showed up in Luke Cage, that was actually my favorite episode of the season.

Cool. I don't have a lot to say about it, man. I've tapped out on the Marvel and Netflix shit. A lot of people have, but it's only like two or three, two or three shows a year. It's not like a lifetime achievement type thing, man. Yeah, but they're not great. Well, they're not consistent. I would say that out of all of them, my favorite of everything, has probably,

been season one of Kristen Ritter. What's the Jessica Jones? Yeah, Jessica Jones Season 1 was probably my favorite. And my least favorite. And get this, my least favorite was Jessica Jones season 2. So they're... Yeah, I am

trying to get through that season. Oh, good luck, man. Daredo's season 2 was awesome. The rest of them. And Jessica Jones, Jessica Jones was good. The rest of them are just, like, not even worth the fucking trouble to deal with. Yeah, not for 13 episodes, right?

13 literally one hour long episodes. Yeah. Or if they even went the Defender's route, wasn't that only like eight? That was eight. That's perfect. I watched the first episode of that and was like, okay, I'm done for this. Yeah, that one wasn't great either. I'm definitely not putting my money up, you know, to change. the way Netflix does business.

So until I can actually put my money where my mouth is, I guess I'll just take whatever they give us. Well, yeah. Let's see. Another CWDC series that I tapped out of this whole

thing a year ago. There's going to be a Batwoman TV series, and this is my problem. There's no fucking Batman. So why is there a Batwoman? Yeah. Well, it could be like Dick Grayson and the Titans where he says, fuck Batman. Nice transition.

Titans' trailer dropped and the internet blew up. Yeah. A lot of people dug it. A lot of people hated it. I love the comic series. The Titans will be on the DC streaming service. What the fuck is the DC streaming service? They're going to.

Yeah, they're going to do all original content. Ah, right. And the main thing, I'll check, I'll be the one to check it out. Because. Good luck for that. The main thing that everybody got pissed off about was Robin saying, fuck Batman. Well, that made me want to watch that. I was okay. People took that out of context.

That made me want to watch it. I'll be able to, too. Yeah. I was okay with that, but I'm not going to fucking subscribe to a goddamn DC streaming service when every other thing that DC comes out with is that piece of shit. Well, this has nothing to do with the movies. So, and plus I want to see this show. Well, I also want to check out that live action Swamp Thing series.

Oh, okay. And I'm a fan of the Young Justice animated series, and they're having a new season three on there. So there's going to be some stuff. I don't know if I'll keep it after I watch the stuff, but I will tell you this. There was a period of time there, like in the late 80s, early 90s, when the New Teen Titans was my favorite comic book series of everything. And I, dude, I had a hundred dollar a week comic book habit for a while. And I love the New Teen Titans, man, especially the artwork in it and everything, but it was George Perez artwork.

And he's very detailed, very detail-oriented in his artistry. And the stories were pretty good, too. But this trailer, dude, it just looks like another CW show, man. Yeah. Yeah. But the other, the complaints were everywhere. Some of the complaints said it looked like another CW show.

Some of the other complaints were saying it was too violent. Oh, I love the violence. So, I don't know. I was okay with this one. I was, I'm actually really interested in it, but not interested enough to, to, to buy some service that just has DC shit. Mm-hmm. Now, would I, would I buy, I may be biased, would I buy a service that just has Marvel shit? Probably. Probably so. Right. But Batman and a bunch of assholes?

Nah, I'm cool. It's so dark. Like everything in the DC universe, I heard it, I heard, I don't know what podcast is. It'd be nice if it was dark. They're a bunch of bitches.

Well, sorry. Okay, what is the podcast that I was listening to the other day? The horror returns? I really want to give a shout out. Do what? Nothing.

It was thrown our name out there. It was explained perfectly. Actually, I think it was, you know what? It was. It was the Neil deGrasse Tyson podcast. His podcast? Oh, fuck, yeah. He's got, there's two of them. There's one that he hosts and there's one that he has other people

host every week. But they explained it perfectly. All the DC characters are born from despair. Think about it. All the origins. Okay, how did Superman start? his fucking planet exploded and they put him on a spaceship and send him to another what about Wonder Woman same thing right they attacked the island right

and she had to get out of there Batman his parents were murdered okay so DC all the DC shit that's why it's so dark it's it's all based on despair and that's what makes you step up and be a hero all the Marvel shit is based on science hard science It may not always be believable,

but if you look at all the origins of all the Marvel characters, they're scientific-based. Yeah, maybe gamma radiation or, you know, the way that making a super soldier or what have you. Usually just regular dudes. Exactly. Yeah. So, yeah, I love the way they describe that.

Anyway, sorry to get off topic, guys, but I thought that was pretty cool when I heard it. That was interesting. Titans. Fall 2018. Now we're going to jump back in the trailers. I'll pirate the shit out of that.

Okay, back in the trailers, Hellfest. Yes. I love it, man. Me too, man. This looks really good. Yes. It looks like a lot of fun.

We may have somebody on the show that's involved in this movie. Really? Possibly. What? Possibly. Maybe a screenplay writer, I don't know. We'll see. We'll see how it goes down. It looks really interesting.

Like there's a masked dude that keeps following them around. And like, even when they call the cops, the cops are like, yeah, you paid to get scared and they're doing their job. So suck it the fuck up. This reminds me a little bit of another horror returns favorite that they made. to so far. Yeah. Houses October built a little bit, maybe. A little.

But this is like... But with a bigger budget. Yeah. This is a bigger budget, real movie. They go to a haunted house, and it turns bad. Maybe. They don't really give you the spoilers.

And Tony Todd. How can you go wrong with fucking Tony Todd? Is he in this? Yeah. Oh, I missed it. So, go ahead. That scene with Tony Todd, that kind of scratched my blood drive itch a little bit. Okay.

So, sounds like we're all in. Hellfast, September 28th. Not too far away. On to our next trailer. I feel like I've been hearing about this movie for like a year or two now. I don't know if just people talking about it or if the movie was finished, but this patient's zero. Now this has Natalie Gorman, Stanley Tucci, and Matt Smith, who I believe he was one of the Doctor Who's. Yes, he was.

Not Doctor Who, yeah. He was a Doctor Who, yep. So. Right after the guy that was the Purple Man to take it back to the Marvel shows. Okay. You know who I'm talking about? Yeah, the Jessica Jones villain in the first season. Yeah.

Oh, David Tenet. Yeah. Great. What did you guys think? A patient, Zero. It looked fucking awesome. Yeah, I'm pretty interested in this one as well. Yeah, I like the whole scene where they play the music and stuff like that.

Yeah. And I try that shit with Stanley Tucci, and he's just like, no, I'm not like the others. Yeah. So I'm confused, but I'm confused enough to watch it to figure it out. Yeah. Yeah. Because it's like zombies, but maybe they're not quite all the way zombies. The whole premise is somebody that got bit, but didn't get turned.

So he has some sort of insight into their psyche, I guess. I don't know. Maybe they're like evolving or something. I don't know. It's interesting. I like the take on it. You do a zombie movie and do something different with it, and I'm happy. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, this one act. Oh, go ahead. Brian, did you notice Matt Smith was kind of doing his best, uh, Jack's impersonation with a voice? Yeah, it was kind of weird. I was, I don't know if I ever really heard him do like anything other than his actual voice. Mm-hmm. So when he started talking, I was like, that sounds really strange. I'm all in.

It looks, it looks fun. It looks like a really fun movie. And Natalie Dormer, holy shit. Oh, yes. What's not to like about her, man? Wish she was in more movies, honestly. Yeah. I wish I was Geoffrey's little brother.

Yeah. Well, maybe not so much now, but... Well, and yeah. He was on top of the world for a little while there. I feel like her being... Jumped out of window. Well, yeah. Spoilers.

Dumbass. Dude. That was a hot wife. Yeah. She is... I feel like she gives some legitimacy to the movie also. When I saw her in it, I was like... She's a good actress.

Oh, this is a real movie. Mm-hmm. You know? That was my immediate reaction. So I like her, and I think that she's going to do big things, and I hope that she does. Yeah, not too far away, August 14th. Okay. I'm in.

And go ahead. I'm in. Yeah. Let's see. Overlord starring Wyatt Russell and Joaquin Woodbine. I'm in on this big time too.

Fuck yeah. Directed by Julius Avery produced by JJ Abrams. Okay good. Bad Robot's first R-rated movie and he has confirmed has nothing to do with Cloverfield. So stop asking.

That's what he was, stop asking. Oh yeah, because they have an Overlord thing, right? Yeah, originally, I think they were going to do it, but because, you know, they like to take these movies and just add like a little cloverfield scene in there. Yeah. But nope, this is its own thing, and it look fucking awesome. Yeah. And don't be surprised if after the credits there's a Cloverfield scene. Oh, I hope not.

I won't be mad if there is, dude. I won't. It's full. It's cool. Yeah. Yeah. It looks so damn good, dude. Are they zombies or they've been experimented on by the Nazis or what?

I believe they're zombies because there's a quote in the movie. One of the Nazi scientists said, for a thousand-year war, you need thousand-year soldiers. Ah, okay, Dead Snow Part 3, huh? They look very zombie-e. Listen, fucking weird Nazi experiments sign me the fuck up. especially World War II stuff. I mean

Overlord I like every bit of this We'll definitely watch We're gonna match this one with Raiders of the Lost Start Brian? I think you just made a show Oh that'd be good So Overlord we are all in Everybody it's on the schedule

November 9th Just in time for the holidays And I am really starting like White Russell, man. I did, I did. Oh, yes. I was unsure about him the first couple of things I saw him in. And then I saw that Black Mirror episode he was in where he, uh, was the hitchhiker across Europe.

You read my mind. You read my mind. I love that episode. So I'm looking forward to this, man. And you really like, you really see his father in him. Yeah. More and more, right? Yeah.

Oh, okay. Um, and we're going to finish this up with a couple little small things. I threw in here. James Wan and Blumhouse are teaming up for a killer robot doll movie called Megan. Okay. Sure. Why not? I'm not quite sure

if James Wan is directing or producing. I hope he's directing. Me too. I think he's off the wrong. And last thing I'd want to throw out there, Shutter and Greg Nicotero, who does a lot of makeup effects especially for Walking Dead.

They're teaming up to do a Creek show anthology TV series. Oh, I heard about that. Okay. So, not a lot of news on that, but I will keep everybody posted, and that is all the news and trailers. All right. On that note, Philip, we got any feedback? Regarding the new poster for the Meg.

Or is it just Meg? The Meg. Is it the Meg? The Meg. The Meg. The Meg. Capital letters. The Meg.

Which you're going to make us watch. You fucking asshole. Oh, me. Kevin's going to be on that show. And we're working, we're working on something for the companion movies. Yeah, I might sit that one out.

No. There might be the little bitch that sits it out. Ah, come on. It's going to be great. So Nate Peterson, Nate Peterson has been mildly impressed with the design of the posters so far,

fairly creative and stand out. Patrick Clear. There's been like 50 different posters. Yeah, but they're cool. Fucking sharks, man. Patrick Lear says, I'm excited for this.

I expect it to be kind of fun. It'll never be Jaws, but I don't have those kind of expectations for it. That is like you could not have put it better. That was perfect. Right there.

It's not going to be Jaws, but hey, it's a shark movie. It's going to be awesome. Regarding the announcement for John Krasinski to be confirmed in the sequel for A Quiet Place. Bejik Sharper says, I'm going to assume this is a prequel. Justin Smith says flashbacks, question mark.

Art Kali says zombie Krasinski. Yeah? Maybe. Spoiler alert. I doubt it. Sophie Sophie Numcheck says huh.

Melissa Stevens says finally watched that movie this weekend. I'm so glad I didn't see it in theaters because I was yelling at my TV the whole time. Her theater wouldn't have been a very quiet place. Oh,

dude, listen, it sounds to me like every theater you went to see that in was a quiet place because people shut the fuck up. And that makes me happy. Yes, me too. By the way, just in case you were not privy to theater etiquette, shut the fuck up. I need that what you just said as a sound bite.

Yes, my theater was out of control last night. I went with my oldest daughter. She's about 18. Or she is 18. Yeah. I'm kind of glad mine was actually. Yeah, I told her,

I told her, I can tell by the people getting tickets, they're all here to see, or not they're all here, but all the young people are here to see unfriended, and it's going to be a fucking horrible time. And it was.

I was worried about that. Well, all right. We'll delve into that because I have questions. Oh, man. But yes, If you're going to go see a movie, shut the fuck up. It is not your living room.

Yes, fair enough. About the Child's Play remake, Darren Wilson said, if they really don't have Brad Duroff doing the voice, no matter how well it's done, it's not, it's going to feel like the Muppets after Jim Henson's in that. Yeah, that's sad. I've butchered that. That's true. That's true.

Yeah, I don't think that movie's going to. happen. It sounds stupid. No. Well, they said it was given like a robot Chucky or something? Yeah, a technologically advanced. Yeah. Forget it. They've still got the the TV series coming

along, right? Yeah, but that's a done deal. That's separate thing from this. This is, I believe it was MGM that's doing this movie. Could be. Okay. So. Uh, yeah. We'll see.

Yeah, I'm not. I'm not in. Not yet. You've got to convince me. About the rumored alien TV series. Adam Bunch says it's mostly come on at night, mostly. Okay, whatever that means. Okay, Adam. Explain to us what the fuck you mean by that. I was going to ask you guys.

I had no idea. I was waiting on you guys to explain. Or gives us an iTunes review or whatever. Mostly. So Alien TV series, is that happening? I hope not. Rumor. Rumor.

Well, we shall see. Ridley Scott, not approved. We're getting a remake of 1990s, the witches. Who is in that one? Angelica. Yeah. And nobody else. And nobody else.

And nobody else. What I know of. Yeah. Robert Zemeckis will write and direct while Guillermo del Toro and Alfonso Quaron will produce. Wow, that's some talent, man. Eddie Ramirez says, I'd prefer a Quaran or Del Toro directed the witches, but I'll take it. If they made it darker and a little more like the book, which is, what I'd hope from Del Toro and Coran, I'd be down.

Ryan Stevens says, that's one film that doesn't really need a remake. The original is perfect and still holds up. Yeah, it does. Me and my daughter watched it recently. It's a fun movie. I forgot. Mr. Bean himself is in it, Brian. Role McKinson.

Yeah, he's speaks. Is he? And it's so weird when he speaks because it's an actual, weird or real voice and not some dubbed over weird shit you know it would be hilarious is if he has this crazy like southern american accent oh no like a texas accent yeah uh darren wilson says uh man the season finale of handmaid's tale was tense to say the least uh some debate on the end as there always seems to be on the season breaks. And, yeah, that Joe Bob

Marathon was a letdown experience, but it's nice that they put all the movies with Joe Bob breaks up in order like the season to watch on demand for now. What does that mean? Well, they took,

because it was a 24-hour 13 movie marathon, and they basically with all his, the stuff he did but before and after the movie that kind of, if you just click on the movie on shutter, you get all that. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's cool.

I mean, they've actually, my hat's off to shutter with what they've done, Brian, because I don't know about you, but I've gotten a couple of emails that said, uh, congratulations Joe Bob for breaking the internet. Yeah, he, I couldn't get on.

They're playing a lot. I mean, it was, oh, that's right. It was a fucking, but they're definitely a saving face, I think, with what they're doing. They're making the most of it. And I'm hearing possibly Joe Bob's going to be doing more stuff with Shutter. Probably not any the stuff he just did, but other stuff.

And it's good to see him back. Especially if they broke their fucking server. It did. It was so many people that just could not get on. Nice. All right. Uh, Ryan Stevens says I'm about halfway through the finale of Handmaid's Tale, I guess. Um, this show fascinates me.

It seems like a pretty cool show, man. I really still need to get into it more. I've just, I've caught so many random ass episodes through the, all of the seasons so far that I'm kind of caught up. But I don't really know what's going on. I need to watch it from the beginning. Unless American Gods pulls out some kind of fucking phenomenal season two, this will absolutely be my favorite TV show of the year. How many episodes are in the season?

There was 10 in the first and 13 in the second. Okay. Let me see if I can power through that this week. Yeah. I'm hearing so much about it. I don't want to get spoiled because it seems like everybody's watching it. and there's a lot that you can spoil too so and you've got to watch it one episode after the other philip you can't you cannot yeah it's not like gilligan's island

yes you can one show and then watch you know season three episode 18 and then go to season two episode four it ain't gonna work and because the last one that i was trying to watch i was like what the fuck are you doing why are you not going with them and and and and and and and and and My wife was like, well, it's because of this. It's like, oh, well. But you didn't know that. Yeah, I didn't know it. I just want to say, this is why I love doing the show with you guys.

We get weird references that make sense. We get Gilligan and the Handmaid's Tale together. And last week, we got a Felicity or whatever that show was referenced. Whatever works, man. Yeah. Fuck it. They're weird, but they make sense. It's all part of the cosmic unconsciousness, man.

It's called a metaphor. Jackass. About the Morvious movie, Patrick Lear said, A Spider-Man spinoff without Spider-Man. I guess Disney is going to have to buy Sony now, too. Haven't they? That's probably next on the docket. No, they partnered with them, but they should.

Apparently, because obviously Sony doesn't know what the fuck they're doing. Right. Well, I mean, everybody will not get ahead of themselves because if this Venom movie tanks, they're not doing all these other. Yeah. Spider-Man villains spin-off universe or whatever the fuck they're doing. Unless they already built it. If they have Tom Hardy and it still tanks, right.

Sony needs to let the superheroes go. let it go yeah obviously Disney knows what the fuck they're doing with it as much shit as you guys give them

particularly for Star Wars and you know we just talked about the we just talked about the Netflix series this is something I'd rather see on the Netflix

a Morbius series or maybe or maybe do a Blade series and throw Morvys in there I love the I think of a TV series

Oh, man, classic. Blade and Morbius in the same series. And then maybe throw a Spider-Man shit in there, right? Yeah. Right? Spider-Man makes a fucking cameo in that one? How great would that be? All right.

We're fixing to write some TV shows, guys. You ready? Yep. And then they can all say, fuck Batman. Yes. That'll be the first line in every episode. Regarding the new poster for the nun, Stephen Lobled says, I assume we'll be getting the full trailer this weekend.

Apparently not. Not yet, huh? Josh Youngblood says, what has taken so long to get this movie out? September. Not that long. September. Right around the corner now. It's September and we don't have a trailer?

we had that little teaser man that wasn't a trailer I'm excited about this one it ought to be good I fucking hope it will be does James Juan has it have anything to do with it

he's probably producing or executive producing yeah he needs to have final say in everything that they do um that is the end of of listener feedback for today.

Thanks to everybody who reaches out to us. We love your ideas and thoughts. You can always reach us at the horror returns at gmail.com. And don't forget, we're still running the contest. So be sure to give us a five-star rating on iTunes. If you don't have iTunes, go get it. Leave us a five-star rating, and you can win a T-shirt. They're pretty awesome T-shirts.

I got a couple of them. And check us out on any other social medias, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, any of that junk. Let us know what's up. That's it. We're here for you. Thank you. We love you.

Yeah, appreciate the feedback. So, this week we're going to talk about unfriended Dark Web, the new horror movie out. And also 2001's Japanese feature The Pulse. So we start out with The Pulse, director and writer. Kiyoshi Kurosawa, also known for cure and something called creepy. A large number of scenes were shot from windows. Okay. As Kawashima starts going over footage of people in the computer screen, he becomes a, he becomes, oh wait, he comes across a bearded man who looks up and stares directly at.

Sorry, folks, we couldn't find very good trivia this week. That man is Kurosawa Kiyoshi. I thought that was him. And it is so. I knew I recognized him from somewhere. Since you two cock-suckers saw the movie and I didn't, I'm going to step away and I'll be back in a few minutes. Have at it, boys. Are you going to step away?

Yeah, I'll be back. There's got to be questions. You want to go? Yeah, man. You just watched it, right? Yeah, but I watched it in like three different parts. Maybe I didn't give it a fair chance. I could not get into this movie.

I felt like the... And again, you know, you run into a lost in translation kind of situation. And maybe, or maybe the writing was just fucking terrible. because some of the lines were just really fucking bad. I'm like, is the writing this stupid? Why is he asking the same question? And she's answering the question. And then he asks the question again.

And then he answers the question again. And then he's asking the question again. And then he's answering the question again. It's like there's 30 minutes too much of this movie from just shit like that. And it's a two-hour movie, which seems really long for like a, J. Horror movie. And it seems also very low budget.

Yes. Agreed. I mean, it's 2001, but the effects were really not there. I think they did a good job with what they had. They had like the ghosts that were kind of just like blurry digital

people. I found some of that kind of creepy though, especially the way they were moving when you Yes. I forgot what's seen it was when it was early on in the movie where the dude seen the when you really get to see the ghosts or whatever and it's just standing there yeah and it's just standing there and then it does that kind of weird movement with the arms and kind of dipping down and like walking towards him right yeah like super like slow motion yeah and that was really unsettling it was and and i i feel like that felt

very at home in that J-horror scene. Even though it was low budget and it was not, if you really think about it, it wasn't scary at all. But, I mean, the way that she kept walking towards him and they used no money on this shot, it was just a chick in a black fucking robe that was walking at him. And they did.

did a really good job of making that creepy. And I feel like they did that throughout the whole movie, but none of the effects were great. I don't know. It was kind of just okay to me. I mean, if you're a Japanese horror enthusiast, then you've probably already seen this movie, and we're not telling you anything new.

If you're not, maybe skip this one and go watch Ringu. and the grudge. Yeah. By any chance, have you ever seen the remake, the American remake? I think that I have, but I can't remember it at all. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm kind of on the boat, which you was saying about this was long. There's long periods of time when nothing's happening. I mean, there are creepy moments in, like, the one we just talked about, and I always found the scenes where they're watching all the different people,

on the monitors and they're just kind of just slowly moving around and then those occasionally turn and look at you and, you know, I thought that was kind of creepy. Yeah. But other than that, like, it was just nothing was happening

and I felt like nothing was really being explained. I don't know if I missed any explanation under what was going on and I had to just keep remembering back to the remake where basically the ghosts were trying to come into our world through the basically internet or whatever

okay and it had our world and it was like cause you know you get the same scene in the movie in this movie as the remake where you got the planes crashing and all kinds of stuff yeah which was kind of a cool scene i mean i think that they shot it well yeah i just i don't know it seemed like they just went from one thing to the next like yes they're trying to figure out what's going on and then all of a sudden everybody's gone everywhere. And it didn't really seem to bother them that much. Because if I go outside right now

and everybody in my city is just gone, I'm probably freaking the fuck out. But, you know, nothing. I don't know. Maybe it was the acting or maybe it was the writing. I don't know. It was such weird dialogue, you know? And I mean, that was my lost in translation point to it.

It's like, oh, where he's tamagachi? I don't remember what his name was. Something close to that. The guy with the like kind of blondeish streaks in his hair or whatever the fuck it was going on. Yeah. That guy. I did not care for that guy. I was trying to figure out, okay, it seemed like he was into the one chick.

He's into the one chick and then she don't want to like be in the world alone with him. And then all of a sudden he's with this other girl who I totally forgot was still alive. I just like confused of what was going on There's a lot of characters in this movie For being so fucking dumb I guess I guess it was being told

I guess it was being told from two different stories That intervene or something or connect Yeah That's where I got kind of confused I was just you know I mean like they had to tell him how to Like they had a whole scene on the computer lab

how to tell him how to copy this thing to his bookmarks and then if that doesn't work but wait wait wait wait wait wait wait let me write this down oh my gosh that was so bad and he's like as she's saying it he's like saying it as he's writing it but he's like

and you press enter it's like he's saying each letter that he's writing Japanese? I mean, it was in Japanese, but they had the subtitles. That's one of the things that I hope got lost in translation. Otherwise, it's just really terrible writing. Right. Because he was like, okay, well, if that doesn't work, I'll hit the print page button.

And it goes on. I mean, it's a whole scene of that. She's just telling him what to do the next time he, he sees the computer ghost or whatever. And then when he sees the computer ghost, he like pulls out the page and he's like, okay, I'm going to try to bookmark it. Oh, that's not working. Now I need to print page and.

Print page. Wow. Yeah. One or something? Yeah. It was. And the other thing that really bothered me about this, apparently when I don't know if the ghosts inhabit you or was something. happens. Oh, boy. And I'm assuming

everybody just kills themselves. Yeah, I guess. So, I mean, that chick jumped off the fucking roof and somebody shot themselves, and hung themselves. When, apparently this happens, where are all the bodies? You never see anybody else. I mean, there's like a whole ghost town going, but you never see the bodies.

You never see anybody else, except for the main people that you got to be introduced to. You never see anybody else killed themselves. I kind of would have liked the scene where it's just all out chaos and just people are just offing themselves everywhere. Yeah.

But you just go from one thing to the next and it's like not explained. That would have required a whole lot more budget and I think that they spent a lot of it on location. There's a lot of people in this movie and

there's a lot of different locations. true and and and and and those kind of things i i feel like would eat up a budget where they could have spent it in like special effects and because the special effects were not great even though oh man they did well with what they had they were creepy uh they had they work with huh yeah but they but they obviously were not awesome yeah i might get some it's it's not the ring yeah i might get some shit for this, but I kind of enjoyed the remake a little bit more. Yeah.

I know a lot of people really like this movie, but I don't know. It was just, it was lacking and Yeah. I just, I feel like, I feel like if you're going to watch this, you really need to be

like a J-horror enthusiast. Yeah, absolutely. You ready for scores? Yeah. uh i'm gonna give it a uh no i'm gonna give it i'm gonna give it yeah that's my score

i'm gonna give it a four and a half um it's it probably deserves better than that i just that's pretty high actually that's almost halfway there man yeah it's just it's it's not up or

Rally, um, if, if you are a J. horror enthusiast, then you've probably already seen this

and you're cussing us out right at this moment. Oh, somebody is. Uh, probably, uh, Donnie rings from the horror mafia,

huh? Right. But if you're not a J. horror enthusiast, don't fuck with this movie. It's not worth it. Sorry. Um,

That's my review. Like I said, I liked everything with the actual ghosts. Like we talked about earlier, when you get introduced to them, the movements, the slow pace of them. Yeah. The creepy looks you get from the computer screen, all that stuff. But there was just so much that wasn't explained to me. And it might be like how you were saying the whole Lost in Translation thing. Maybe I just was missing something.

But there's a lot. of unneeded scenes in here that don't really go nowhere. Yes. Doesn't sound like I miss much. A lot of unneeded dialogue. There's so much dialogue that is just fucking stupid. And you brought it up perfectly. That whole computer lab scene with him writing down the instructions that really didn't need to be written down, that was unnecessary and that went on for like 10 minutes. Yeah, they drug it the fuck out. He was like, wait, wait, wait, let me write it down. No, let's repeat everything we just said.

But I am glad I watched it. You know, this is another first watch for me. This is crossed off the list. But with that said, I'm going to have to give it a Garrett on 10. A 4 on 10. Okay. Wow. Well, and I'll give them this, though.

A lot of horror movies, especially right now, tend to rely so much on jump scares. And they did their creepy music and their sort of jump scares, but they didn't just flash it right at you. Like they brought it up slowly, where it was like a legitimately scary thing. Instead of just, you know, the fake jump scare with the, you know, sound effects in the background that just,

Like, it makes you jump, and it's not even really a jump scare. A fake jump scare, which fucking irritates the shit out of me. Right. So, I feel like they did a good job of that. It was more like the original Halloween, you know? There's some jump scares in that that are not, they build up to them. They're not like the jump scares that today has. So not a total waste of time, then.

No, no, no, no. I mean, it was creepy, and they did a good job of creepy. It was J. Horror, you know? Right. And if you're a big J. Horror fan and you've never seen this movie, then by all means, jump into it. But if you're not, skip it. Finally, Brian. After all these superhero movies and, you know, all this other bullshit going on, Big Budget.

Your shout about this one? Jurassic. Oh, dude, I was fucking thrilled going into this. I love the trailer. I was really, really excited. I was like... I couldn't wait, man. Yes.

So let's talk about it. Director and writer, Steven SESCO, also known for writing screenplay for The Grudge and Texas Chainsaw 3D. Oh shit? Yeah.

Got some... Yeah, the Grudge American version. Speaking of Japanese horror movies. Yeah. The trailer was uploaded first in the real dark web by the director himself.

Oh. Kind of a gimmick, okay? Yeah, I like it. They're gimmicky. Hey, shh. This was filmed in secret for a release sometime in 2018.

It was in secret? Yes. Why? I don't know, but it was originally entitled It was originally entitled Unfriended Game Night. Gee, why do you think they changed that?

Yeah. I'm glad they changed that. Jason Baitman in that movie. Okay. Hey, speaking to which, Ozark Season 2, man, coming out at the end of August. I can't wait. I know. I am excited for that. All right. Can we talk about Ozark instead of this movie? Why don't you go first, Brian? You sound excited. Okay. Like you said, Lance, the trailer came out. I was super excited. I wasn't a biggest, big fan of the original.

Yeah, but it had a... For the girl from Fear of the Walking Dead in it. Yeah, it had its moments, though. There was, especially, I think I was talking about it with Josh Youngblood on one of the, I think, in the group. There's a scene with the, someone sticks their hand in the blender. Right. And then smashes the blender and then puts his face up against the blades. Oh, wow.

Dude, I know I saw the first one. I just cannot remember it for the line. It's, yeah, it's one of those movies. You know you've seen it, but you can't remember what you saw. Um, I wish this movie was like that. I wish it was something I can't remember that I even watched because this movie was fucking garbage. It, okay, I like the premise that it was setting up, but then it just kept going and going and there was nothing happening. I'm like, let's fucking go already.

Let's get to it. I thought everybody was okay in playing the roles that they were doing. What? Yeah. What did you see? these guys all sucked. It's just horrible, man. For the character that they were supposed to be,

I mean, not all of them. I'm not going to say all of them. I take that back. Some of them, like the main guy. Some of the worst acting sense. I don't know. I don't know. I don't even know what to compare it to, man.

Well, they had the chick from Get Out. I didn't like her in this. No? No. Oh, that sucks. Is that who that was? Yeah. And I checked her, her.

IMDB. She's been in a lot of Blumhouse movies. She was in a... The main one? No. The one... The black chick that was... She was...

She was in... Go ahead. The no, no, no, no, no. From Get Out. I don't know. She was an upgrade. You guys have lost me already. No. She was in Upgrade as the detective.

Yeah. And she was in one of the Purge movies, and she's got, like, more Blumhouse movies coming. I think she has some kind of contract with her or something. Eh, you know what? I could barely even tell who she was then, because she barely even showed up in this movie.

Oh, that sucks. Because I really liked her. She was horrible. She kept leaving off screen to go do shit. To go do shit. All she was doing was hanging on the blonde chick, because they were a couple, and I was like, if you show something

and they think they turn the camera off, but it keeps showing, I'm in. if you don't show that scene, this movie sucks. I mean, that was the only thing that could have saved it for me, man. Compared to what they showed in the trailer

and everybody hyping this movie up because this and another movie was filmed a sequel to a movie called The Gallos. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. All I heard about these two secretly filmed movies was they fixed

all the wrongs from the originals and I kind of feel like I've been bamboozled. I wasn't super mad at the gallows. I hate to say that. Wow.

Okay, well. I just, I don't know. I don't know what else to say. Nothing fucking happened. You get a lot of off-screen deaths in there. And which that is something that doesn't bother me all the time. If you set it upright,

I don't necessarily need to see the actual thing going on because if it's set up right, my imagination could probably come up with something crazy, like what the fuck, you know. Right. But in this situation, I kind of wanted to see what the fuck was going on. And it would just be off screen and you would just hear a noise. And I'm just kind of like me and my oldest daughter went and I just kept looking at her like, what the fuck are we watching? Oh, no. Did she like it? She was on her phone.

Oh, no. I think... On her fucking phone in the movie theater? What are you doing as a parent? I'm sorry, but I allowed it because I think at some point, she was into the movie. But like I said, the whole setup just went on and on. Yeah. And I think she got bored.

Oh, well. It's not like she was fucking bothering anybody. Wow. No, because my... Man, movie etiquette needs to be taught. But I expected it. I didn't, I wasn't really as pissed. Well, you already said nobody else was in the theater, so what's the harm?

Yeah, but who was there was a bunch of teenagers that apparently this is the scariest movie on the fucking planet. Really? I had dudes in there that are probably about 18 fucking screaming like little bitches. Like everything is like, and then the same guy's walking out of the theater like, that shit was, that shit was weak. That was scary. I'm like, I've seen you. You were in the road. in front of me jumping out of your throwing popcorn.

Like, oh my gosh. I know. And I was like, this was not even that kind of fucking movie. Oh, man. I'm so glad you brought up the audience aspect. You don't let me, don't let me forget to mention that when I talk when I talk. Well, I'm done.

This movie was true. Hey, I didn't watch it. I'm going to chime in. Did you guys know that there are two different endings? No. I was, okay. When we get to spoil,

yeah, when we get to spoil it, I was going to ask you, Lance, did you get a, what was your ending? Because depending on which theater or which state or whatever, there was two different endings. Oh, wow. Kind of like that old movie, Clue, huh? Yes. Interesting.

Well, I don't think that would have made any difference. I just wanted to bring it up. Lance, you can continue. Well, all right. So after I watched this movie yesterday, and I got home and my wife and I went out to get some dinner and then we came back. and I said, something was just rolling around in my mind. The question was,

is it possible to do a gimmick movie that's good? And then I thought about a movie that we saw earlier in the year, and it's available. It was on our TV. I just had to click it and watch it, and I asked AJ, I said,

it's not really a horror movie, babe. Will you watch a movie with me called Unsane? and she said, yeah, let's check it out. Masterpiece, great movie. As a matter of fact, upon rewatch, my score, whatever score I gave it, I'm sure would be a good point higher. On second view, it's absolutely a top five. Yeah, I think we all gave that one a really good score. That was a good movie.

Directed by Stephen Soderberg. So here's what happens when you take a gimmick and you make a movie that was entirely filmed on an iPhone. and the gimmick is, you know, hey, it's an iPhone, look, you know, it's technology, it's not your typical film. It's not filmed with, you know, the big lumbering cameras like they used back in Hollywood in the days and stuff like that. And it's a fantastic movie, partly because of he's a great director and partly because Claire Foy is probably my favorite actress working right now. And she had a great cast around her. And the story was phenomenal. and that's where everything begins.

So this movie was probably, I don't know how to describe it. I mean, I guess it was this year's Bye Bye Man. Oh. It was that bad. It was so horrible from beginning to end. The only thing that made it better, when I first got there,

I was in the theater alone. And I was like, okay, it's going to be a, like I mentioned earlier, a Santos Ellen Jr. moment where I'm just going to take my pants off and sit here alone in my underwear watching the movie. But some people showed up. Thank God. Wait, why would you take your pants off?

It's, uh, Brian. It's just a, it's an end joke, man. It's a horror joke. You know what? Never mind. I don't want to know. But I think the answer is because I can. You know what I mean? Like literally no one else in the theater. Yeah.

get comfortable. But thank God. You get comfortable by taking your pants off? I'm not, I'm not going down this rabbit hole. Are you going to judge? Are you judging me, Philip? Nope, nope, nope, nope.

I'm ending the conversation about the pants. Are you unbrending me? All right. I haven't taken your pants off. So thank God. Thank God I saw this movie in an urban area. and a crew that came in that were sitting behind me and we were fucking all laughing our fucking asses off the whole movie.

Yes. This is so bad, man. Everybody knew it. And I mean, my God, dude. And the sad thing is there were some really good trailers before the movie. And we were all jumping together and we were all like, you know, hitting each other in the ribs and like, look at this shit. And then the next thing you know, this fucking. movie starts, and we're all

just fucking laughing our asses off. Like, what the fuck are we watching? What is this fucking piece of shit? Nothing made sense in it. The little, quote unquote, I'm using air quotes here, twist ending, there was another twist ending after that.

It made absolutely everything before it make no sense. Like, what was the point of the buildup if that's how you're going to twist it? I think I know which ending you saw. Quisting. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what ending I saw. This was absolute garbage. I can't... I want my movie pass swipe back.

I got to see this movie for free because I swipe my movie pass. I want that swipe back. It's not fair that I should have to count this against my free movie pass. I want my $3.24 back. Shit, dude. I want my $2. You know, to quote the little kid from Better Off Dad. I mean, fuck. $2. Dude, there was nothing redeeming about this movie. All the characters were totally hateable.

Nothing happened literally for the first hour, literally. You're watching people fucking click on a computer and listening to music. Yeah, you're looking at Spotify and you're looking at this guy trying to develop

his little fucking software and all kinds of, you know, a lot of clicking, clicking this and clicking that and then going back to Skype and they're talking about this and then he'll go back and message someone that's like the first hour literally

yeah I don't know that I can deal with that long movie yeah yeah this was bad dude Philip you missed it right yeah I missed it but just just having said that with the first tower just being like from a computer screen looking out

onto somebody else like I get the idea but it would make me insane because I just don't like that world. And that is exactly why I did not tell my daughter to put her phone away because it's like you're

watching somebody's like Skype conversation but you can't chime in or do anything and you're just sitting there for an hour. Yeah. It's terrible, man. It's terrible. So what would this movie have been like had it been written by somebody who knew what the fuck

they were doing and directed by like a Stephen Soderberg, Brian? it would have been insane I could have I could have pictured I want a good internet dark internet movie I want one where the whole movie you're watching the

clicks and the videos and stuff like that pop up this wasn't it because the concept is creepy well maybe the third one will be good because you know this movie's going to make money and you know Blumhouse probably How is it going to make money dude it was horrible nobody was in my movie theater except

The bye bye man the bye-bye man made money. Are they going to come out with the fucking sequel? They will. They will. They will. They will. They will.

They haven't come out with the Bye-B-B-B-Ban part two yet. They will. Hopefully he's too busy doing, playing Suru and Star Trek now to go do the Bye-by-Man again, you know? Doug Jones is time for anything. God, dude. This was horrible. You want to do scores so we can do the one or two little spoilers?

And thank God we had so much news this week, or this would have been a two-minute podcast. I'm going to give a two-minute podcast. I'm going to give us. A 10. Okay. Philip gives it a 10. I'm just kidding.

I didn't see it. I will give it a... Because I like the premise that went nowhere, I guess. Careful what you say. Yeah. You're going to regret it. I give it a one. Wow.

I don't really... I don't really, other than, like I said, the idea. of what they tried to do is the only thing I really liked about the movie. There's only one scene. There's one scene I give. I do give it one also, Brian.

Because I thought it was funny as hell when the one little fucking kid that had all the conspiracy theories. Oh. It's like a separate kick to each nut. But it took forever to get there.

That's your ones. I wish, I wish they had made, If that scene had been clean, this would have been a good, a good, strong 1.5 movie. But because they fucked that scene up, and, like, you could see how he was scrolling

around in a circle with his mouse, with the arrow. Yeah. Oh, okay. I know. Yeah. The sound effects thing, I was like, get to the fucking point, man.

You know who did that scene better? Home alone. Oh. Am I right, Brian? Home alone. Yeah. Yeah. The same exact scene.

Uh-huh. All right. That might have been the best death of the movie. There you go. A one and a one. Just a really fucking hard kick to one nut in particular for each guy. But you know what? I will see this.

I am very glad. I was kind of worried because there was a lot of good movies coming out this year and a lot of mediocre movies that have come out this year, but there haven't been any really pieces of shit. until I saw this. So thank God, my bottom five is at least starting to flesh out now.

Well, now you have it. This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. You've been fucking warned. This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. You've been fucking warned. This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. You've been fucking warned. All right. Spoilers?

What? I don't even know if there's anything to spoil. Like I said, there's fucking no death scenes. You know what? The ending. You get the, wait, right before the ending, you get the girl. The ending has no sense, because why would he sit out in the middle of the fucking road on his fucking bicycle and waiting for a goddamn truck to run him over? Okay, we got the same ending.

Okay, so wait, all right. So there was one ending where it was legitimately dark web guys who were just killing people for the money. and then there was another ending where they were demons. Oh. Oh, I got the, okay, I know what you're talking about. I got the, where it panned out, and it was like a bunch of different screens, and it was people. Yes.

Because they were taking their mask off. Okay. As always, we want to thank you for listening to another episode of The Horror Returns. We'd love to hear your feedback and ideas. You can always reach us at the Horror Returns. Gmail.com. Be sure to follow us. Where, Brian?

Everywhere. Facebook. On the dark web? On the dark web? No, no. Just search the horror returns. I don't think I want to go to the dark web. We'll watch you all the time.

So, uh, listen, Brian, Brian, uh, you've got us some damn good movies to watch. I actually watched half, the first half of Motel Hell, which I have to admit I've never seen before. And it was funny.

as fuck. I can't wait to talk about these movies. So what are the three movies we're talking about next week, Brian? As you mentioned, Motel Hell, the fog, and help me out. I think it's the original maniac, right?

Yes, the original maniac. I don't know that I've ever seen any of those. You know what? I've seen the fog several times, but neither of the other two. So I'm looking forward to the year in horror 1980. So we got to have the nez on some 80s year and horror

shows for sure and that's a given and then we got to have Christopher G. Moore who does the decades of horror 1980s for gruesome magazine Brian and there's some other 80s

fans out there okay so we're going to put this out right now this is going to be our first of the year in horror in the 80s since the 80s had so much good shit I think we're probably going to do one for each year. Is that same same? I'm down.

That's cool. I'm totally down for that. Sold. So probably about every other month we'll do a year in horror like 80, 81, 82. So if you guys are interested, please email us, message us, reach out to us. We'd love to have more guests on the show. So in the meantime, until the horror returns again, Brian. Good night.

I'm