The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #115: The Last Shark (1981) & The Meg (2018) (Reupload)

Episode Date: April 29, 2024

Patrick joins us to talk about a few shark movies. Thanks for listening, as we go back in time to revisit some classic episodes! The Horror Returns Website: https://thehorrorreturns.com THR YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/@thehorrorreturnspodcast3277 THR Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thehorrorreturns THR Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thehorrorreturns/ Join THR Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1056143707851246 THR X: https://twitter.com/horror_returns?s=21&t=XKcrrOBZ7mzjwJY0ZJWrGA THR Instagram: https://instagram.com/thehorrorreturns?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= THR TeePublic: https://www.teepublic.com/user/the-horror-returns SK8ER Nez Podcast Network: https://www.podbean.com/pu/pbblog-p3n57-c4166 E Society Spotify For Podcasters: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/esoc E Society YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCliC6x_a7p3kTV_0LC4S10A Music By: Steve Carleton Of The Geekz

James victims. For those of you who delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify gore, welcome. You have found the place where the horror returns. Listeners beware. This podcast contains major plot spoilers

in the foulest of language. Join us in celebrating the old and the new, the best, and the worst in horror. Welcome back, one and all to the horror returns. I am Lance, and with me as always are my co-host, Brian and Philip. Tonight we have two special guest hosts in the house. We got Nez, who I guess really is technically our fourth host anyway. And we've got show favorite Patrick. everybody everybody's man Patrick.

What's up, guys? How's it going? I'm good, man. It's chilling. Yeah, hey, Patrick, you first, buddy. How have you been doing, man? What's going on with you? Well, it's been a rough couple weeks.

I've been in the hospital and dealing with some kidney issues. I'm having to adjust to going on kidney dialysis. It's a little bit of an adjustment, but I'm getting through it. So it's just a new chapter in life you have to deal with. So far, so good. Is it going to be like a permanent thing, or is it just for a while you have to be on it? permanent until I can get a new kidney. Oh.

That sucks, man. Yeah. Stay strong. It could be worse. Yeah. Do what you got to do. Just one more thing life's going to throw at you. Yeah.

Yeah, speaking of life throwing things at you, Ness, what's up for those wildfires out there, man? They're good. I mean, I'm looking out the window right now. It's real smoky, not as smoky as it was. And you could see a little bit of blue sky before you couldn't see nothing. I couldn't even see the mountains that are surrounding where I live. It was that thick and that bad. I remember one morning I woke up and the smoke was in.

the house because it was so thick outside I was walking down the hall in shit, so I had to shut all the windows and it was kind of tough using the swamp cooler because it's a million degrees in the house and trying to stay cool and how you smell of smoke.

Oh no. Smoking some food, man. Don't they have like a million fucking pot farms out there? Just saying. Not in this town. This town is no funds

I mean I don't know it's a bunch of I don't want to get in a political discussion but they don't benefit from the smoke

fuck they don't want it here all right I'm all for it but they don't want it all right let's talk about something good man

Patrick what's your cool of the week man I did wrap up the second season of the expanse that was really cool so I've been trying to trudge through that, but man, it's not something you can bend real easily.

It's like you can get a couple episodes in, and then you need to take a break because it's got a lot of going on in it. But I'd say that, and I did also rewatch the first two episodes of Castle Rock. And I'm liking where it's going. It's definitely different, but so far from what I've seen, I'm not. I'm definitely down with it, so we'll see what they do with it. You and I were kind of nonplussed by that first episode. Was it better on the second viewing without being like half falling asleep and having had three or four beers?

Yeah, it definitely was because you'd pay a little more attention to what's going on. Right. What'd you check out, Nez? I just got back from the theater. We went and seen Christopher Robin. and that's my cool and I was shockingly surprised on how good it was Christopher Robin

I wasn't expected. Yeah, I wasn't expecting much. I wanted to see it and it looks super good. Okay. It was. It was really good. I don't want to ruin it, but it starts out kind of depressing but then it just pays out in the end. I don't know if they were CGI or if they were puppets or what, right man they did a good job

whatever it was yeah if it was all if it was all CGI they made everything look real with dealing with poo and everyone else but if it was puppets and they had somebody in a green suit running along the side of them operating them

and hey that that's even better but it was awesome I thought it was an awesome film I loved everything you and McGregor was awesome Agent Carter when she was in it I don't know a real name, but she's his wife. And poo and the gang. It was good to see them.

I liked that they used how they really looked in the old school book, not the newer Disney cartoon. They didn't look like the characters didn't look like them. So I liked how they just went back to the original style of poo. I thought that was cool. Oh, you said poo in the gang. I thought you said cool in the gang, man. Yeah, that's my cool of the week.

And if you're going to do it not so cool in the week, it was my fucking movie crowd. Oh, no. Oh, no. Any of you parents that just drop your kids off at the theater, get your kids some fucking manners, man. There was these little bitches across the aisle for me with like four little boys.

It must have been 12 at the oldest. Oh, man, they kept running up and out of the aisle, going back and forth. One of them had a water bottle that they kept squeezing, and then they were talking a little loud. I was like, oh. That's... Someone had a baby, the back.

Wow. This was during the Meg? No, this was the Christopher Robert. Oh, it's a witch's too. Okay, yeah, yeah. Well, I guess that makes sense. I'm not bashing. senior citizens, but

we're all going to be there someday. Come on. Senior citizens acting out. Geremonade up or something. Don't need to talk super loud. If I can hear you, I was like, oh. Oh, no. Who is that little teddy?

Ouch. It didn't take me out of a movie, but I was just like, all right. Usually I can just tune everything out, but man, these, they were going off today. That's what about the main reason is like movies here in the town we live in. I'm stupid. Sounds like that's my... Alaska. That's my cool and not my school.

Okay. Christopher Robb. What's it about anyway? Is it like a true story? of the guy that wrote the book or what? No, it's the further adventures. Christopher Robin, they show him in the beginning as a little kid. Okay.

And then he goes off to boarding school, grows up, gets married, has a daughter, and then one day Poo wakes up. And the 100-acre wood, he walks through that magic peak, and ends up in the real world in London, where older Christopher Robin is. where Obi-Wan lives. Now, do they sneak into Tom Brady's house at any point, or what? No, they're over in London.

So they don't meet up with Flash Gordon? No, not in this one. No cocaine with Flash Gordon. All right. Oh, I got you. It was good, man. Have you guys got a little kid? Well, not really little kids.

because the little sorry the little fuckers won't shut up but we all have kids okay we've all been there but oh my god

man teach you kids man is because my mom would beat the hell out of me if I was in a movie theater made from Illinois no shit

yeah it's an awesome movie check it out all right um philip I'm dying I'm dying to hear what you have to say

man and we've watched a lot of we watched a lot of bad shit this week yeah but that was through the show the next two weeks but no I did go

I went on a just long list of movies and was going kind of an alphabetical order and I could not find anything to watch Izzy, my five-year-old wanted to watch a movie with me and we kept scrolling down and I got to the bees

and I was like here's an Oscar-worthy performance that was totally snub that started an A-list celebrity's career. And I'm talking about in the 80s, Bill and Ted's most excellent adventure. All right. It was so, hell of good is right, man.

That movie was so awesome. It was most excellent. And she loved it. She was stuck to it the whole time. Nice. So, yeah, that was my cool little week, definitely. And it was really neat to look back on Keanu Reeves and see him do that in his early years.

Well, they're going to do it again. Oh, I'm down. We haven't watched Bogus Journey yet, so I definitely am going to have to check that out, too. I wonder if we're going to get Ty and Franksman back. I don't know, but it's going to be most excellent. Yeah, I might. don't have a cool of the week, guys.

What? No, I don't have a cool of the week. I've got a not so cool of the week. Oh, there you go. I've got a lot of them, but we're going to talk about all of them this week and next week on the podcast. Oh, shit. I got a couple of them. Yeah, I was so disappointed.

My not so cool of the week. So one of my favorite directors of all time is William Friedkin, not just for The Exorcist, but for other shit that he's done, even recently, like Killer Joe and Bug. Mm-hmm. And so I saw the documentary he did, The Devil and Father Emort. It's on Netflix. Have you guys heard of this one? Yeah.

It's a real life exorcism. Oh. And he gets permission from the Catholic Church to actually film this guy, Father Emort, he's actually the Vatican's official exorcist. And the first, I don't know, the first 10 or 20 minutes of the movie, were pretty good. And then it just went off the rails. They actually showed the exorcism,

and it was pretty boring, to say the least. It was not what I was expecting. And then at the end... But it was like a legit exorcism? Yeah, it was a legit exorcism. But it was basically... I don't want to give it away. I mean, it's on Netflix, so watch it.

It's free. There was no spider-walking people. Nothing like that at all, dude. And what pissed me off is they would describe Oh, well, I saw one time I saw a lady that I gave her an exorcism, and she was writhing on the floor like a snake, and then I saw one that she was doing this, but they didn't fucking show any of that.

They just talked about it, like, in stories. And when you actually watched it, it's like really fucking boring. So anyway, not so cool to me. Saving. Chasing Bigfoot style. Yeah, no question. Okay, I got a lot of stuff here. First, give a shout out to my daughter,

swore into the Navy this week. Nice. Nice. Ships out October, so love you. And I want to give another shout out to Nez, your brother, Mike.

60 t-shirt designs in three months. Yeah, man, he's been cranking him out. And hopefully it puts some change in his pocket because he's a really good artist. Struggling artists like

all of us. but he's putting in work, man. Mike, you're living, brother. I love you right on. Yeah. Jason on a Jeep, dude. Yeah. Anybody want to get a T-shirt?

I think it's a T-spring.com forward slash redgear. It's an awesome t-shirts. Yeah. And speaking of Mike, real, really quick, we're working on our next movie project. It's called Ghostbox. And we did some filming

in Southern California. like a week or so ago. Mm-hmm. All you filmmakers are real legitimate filmmakers? I'll prop to all you guys that film movies out in the heat. Because we only did film like 20 minutes and I was about to die. I couldn't imagine having a full crew out there in the million-degree heat. So props to all you real filmmakers out there doing it.

It's not like somebody's cutting branches down to make a fire. What's that fucking noise in the background, guys? Can anybody read it? I was in red. Oh, fuck. It's not like you're getting a fucking fire ready, man. He's going camping or something. Just getting it started.

Let's see. Sharp objects. Again. I think I'm going to tap out. Oh, no. Oh, no. Yeah. I thought we were going to get more into the murders of these young girls.

Mm-hmm. And it's almost like that's like a side note on this show. Oh, no. And I'm a little, I'm still a little intrigued with the character, especially Amy Adams' character, because she seemed to have a really fucked up childhood. But nothing's really being answered. It's just like little glimpses, little flashbacks.

And it's, it's getting a little boring now. So I think I'm going to give it one more episode. If it's still the same thing, it might be a tap. out. It's only a mini-series, isn't it? Like five episodes or something? I think it's going to be 10. If it's five more episodes of the same thing,

then I don't even know if I can make it. Castle Rock's still going good for me. Stephen Lobled might be on to something. Yeah? About the Pennywise thing. I don't know if they'll do it, but it'd be really cool. All I'm going to say, without spoiling it, the mention of 27 years was mentioned.

and if we all know Penny Wise comes back every 27 years I believe Is it 27? Is it 27? Yeah, so If that will happen, that would be fucking cool, but if it doesn't happen

to show still, I still like to show. Let's see. Got to the theater a couple times earlier this week. I saw the Equalizer too. Pretty badass. Enzel's badass. Yeah? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. If you come at Denver, Manzel, you're getting your arm broken. He broke so many fucking arms in this movie. It was ridiculous. I thought it was a little... Yeah, I thought it was a little long, though. Could have shortened it up a bit, but I liked it. But my cool of the week was Mission Impossible Fallout. Oh, nice. So good.

Got to use your movie pass for that, huh? I'll get to that. But, yeah, they can keep cranking these movies out, and I will go. Tom Cruise is a badass and it's fucking crazy I think I read he did like 80 to 90% of the stunts in his movie

like the skydiving scene that's him really skydiving and it's crazy but my he's really gonna fight jets in the new top gun too are you serious

oh for real supposedly oh wow that would cool uh wow am I not cool of the week is fucking movie pass? I gave y'all one more month.

They said they was not going to raise the price. They said they was going to give you, I think it was going to be three movies a month, which I'm fine with for 9.95, three movies. Cool. Yeah. So I go to the theater to watch Equalizer. I would have to, at the time I went,

I would have to miss the next two showings to even get a showing for movie pass because they were doing selective showings for movie that's been in the theater for almost a month. Wow. So I pay for that one. I go to work. I come back to watch Mission Impossible.

Blacked out. Can't watch it. Yeah. At all. Any showing, right? Yeah. So movie pass, fuck you. A movie we're going to review on our next episode, Slender Man.

Yeah? Couldn't watch it either. Oh, I got to see that one on Movie Pass. Yeah. blacked out on mine. And then I get an email today from movie pass saying I should go watch Slender Man with my movie pass. How are you going to do that? I don't know because I can't go watch the same movie twice. Even if I wanted to watch that, I'll say

for that review. I got a lot to say with that movie. But yeah, movie pass, I'm done. And that's my good, good and bad. I don't blame you. All right. Well, yeah. Just, Just to chime in real quick. So today I went to see the Meg, and that was my first official movie with AMCA A list. Yeah, how'd that case. It went great.

And I even saw it in the Dolby Theater, so I saw it. I got a $15 movie ticket, and I still got two more movies to go see. This week, right? Yeah, this week. That's right. Exactly. Wow. And there's no restrictions.

If you're near an AMC, you can't beat that one. Nope. If I had one on the island, I'd buy it. Yeah. You miss the one in spring, don't you? Don't you feel? I do. That's probably still my favorite theater.

That was awesome. Right. Well, they've got a new AMC going in here in the Woodlands that's like really close to our house. Like probably five-minute drive from our house, man. And it's going to be brand new. And I'm sure it's going to be huge. So, yeah, once October 17th, movie, my. One year movie passes up.

I'm definitely snatching one up. Hopefully our friend of the show, Richard, out there, if you're listening at the AMC in spring, maybe you should transfer to that new one, brother. Give it a shot. All right, that's the cool of the week. Brian, we got any horror headlines? Nez, you'll like this one.

Ruby Rose. It's going to be Batwoman on the CW. This might be my only excuse to go back to the DCCW. shows. So is it like a spin-off of the Bruce Weinland that they had

or Gotham? Yeah, yeah. She's, well, she's Go ahead and that's not. It's in the Arrowverse, so, I mean, Gotham's not in all that. It's dealing with Arrow and the

flash. Oh. I think Supergirl, but I'm not sure. Yeah. I have that. I have that Legends of tomorrow. Yeah, it's just in the C.W. Arrow versus what I read. Yeah, I think she's...

I'm all for it. Yeah, I think she's going to make her debut on one of the shows before she actually... Her own actual show comes out, which I'm probably not watch her debut on any of the other shows. I'll just watch the series. Is she going to show up... You're going to show up... Fuck, Stephen M.L. or something like that from Arrow? well batwoman's a lesbian

yeah yeah probably not maybe so fuck Supergirl that would be something to turn tune into hell yeah the article I read it said it's the the openly gay bat woman so I can't remember her name

when we were talking about it I was like this isn't Barbara Gordon but it's nice No, it's, it's, oh shit, what is it mean? It's Batman's cousin. Okay. Yeah. And she was a soldier. I can't remember her on top of my head.

She's a wing. But, uh, crap. I've got the books here in the book, but I can't remember what it is on top of my head. You know, I'm okay with that. It's about time we saw her. is a superhero. I think that she makes total sense as one. Yeah. She'll have a regular gig. Not that she's a not in

seven or eight movies every year anyway. Yeah. I'm not. Philip, you're Venom movie. Yeah? The rumor is it's getting edited down to PG-13. Oh, no. Why would they do that? Why are they doing that? Because, you know, they want to get the kids in there.

They want to get that money. Can we not cover it for the show, Brian? I'm Okay, I'm torn here Because I'm kind of interested But yet this is my least anticipated movie Oh I'm definitely going to watch it Yeah, Philip wants to watch it

You don't want to watch it I'm in the middle so Oh man God damn it you motherfuckers Although that PG-13 thing man That kind of scares me on this It ain't helping is it Yeah

I mean they can still they can still pull it off, but it's like seeing a PG-13 horror movie, you know? Right. Yeah. I don't know how I feel about these new Spider-Man villain movies. Yeah, I guess it has a, the universe has some kind of title now or something, the Sony, Sony Marvel Universe or something. And all these movies are basically... Yeah.

Yeah, because I guess the story came out. They owned the rights to 900 characters that are in the Spider-Man universe. Sony does? Yeah. This could be a long couple of years. Let's see. Well, they can take a lot of money and just sell them. Yeah.

They're not going to. Just hand it all. The Susperia remake, Runtime was released. Looks like we're going to be in the theater for two hours and 32 minutes. All right. I'll be there for every minute of it. I'm looking forward to this one. A lot of people are saying as long, but I believe the original was longer than that.

Somebody told me the original was only an hour and a half. Nez, you know that, right? Aren't you a big Gialo and Italian horror fan? It seemed like it was a long movie, but I don't... I thought it was at least two hours, wasn't it? I don't know. I don't know. I keep hearing, like, all these other podcasts that are bringing this story up.

I keep hearing, well, the original was only an hour and a half. You know, where are they going to make it two and a half hours? What are they going to do, you know? Like people bitching about it and stuff. I haven't seen the original. I look forward to it. I can't wait until we see both of these, actually. Yep.

November 2nd. We're going to be reviewing that one and the original one. Nice. Just to cut back real quick, the name of Batwoman is Catherine King. Yes. super hot want to touch the high me and our last

oh go ahead after Suspira are they going to make the other two movies or it's just one and done I would say based on how this one does right yeah

if it's all about how much money it makes yeah if it makes major money then I wouldn't I wouldn't see why not it's a trilogy uh this is through Amazon. Amazon Studios. Oh, Susperia is Amazon Studios?

Yep. So, I mean, they have the money. Yeah, they've been doing a lot of movies lately. Yeah, and they're doing that that Lord of the Rings TV series that they're putting in, like, a lot of money into that. Man, I can't wait. How bad it would be? And our last news,

Patrick Williams joins the cast in Stephen King and Joe Hills in the tallgrass, the next adaption for Netflix. Mm-hmm. And that is all the news I couldn't fire nothing else. Cool. So Patrick, you ready to take our little trip? Yeah, let's get on down to the trailer part. We're going to talk about Hell House LLC 2. all right

Nez you want to you want to kick us off with this one? Yeah is it did did you guys

did the first one no yes I did I haven't I haven't either I don't think well then I don't want to get into it

that you haven't seen it but I'm all for it because that first one was hell good that's what I've heard so good that was fucking awesome You guys need to get on that one quick. All right.

What was it? Is that the one that had like the huge cast? And it was like, there was like a, I don't know, a whole bunch of different people in it. Was that, what was the first one about? Oh, you're thinking of something else. Something that still, I don't think has even come out yet. The Dee Wallace was talking about when we interviewed her like two years ago. Oh, maybe.

I don't know. Hell House is very generic thing. Yeah, this is a small little indie movie right now? Yeah, I was one of I found footage movies And I reached out to the director Of I assume he's doing the second one Because he was, I was excited

This is when I found out they were doing a part two Right I just wanted to read that to him And tell him how much I loved the movie And he was like, all right, cool Well, get ready for the second one And I was like, what? And he was like, yeah, Part 2 is coming

And this is the first time that I saw the trailer And I'm all in Because I cannot wait Same director seriously any of you listeners who haven't seen the first one get on it it's fucking badass it's on it's on amazon prime oh shit yeah man i gotta watch it yeah and uh shout out shout out to samantha bean that's the one that uh she's the first one to put that on

the group page so i remember that i remember that yeah i do i had heard this more i checked out yeah so uh let's see release date, not yet confirmed, but it is coming out this year, though. Cool. And... I would say VOD or...

I don't think this would get a theatrical release. I mean, it might, some small select theaters, but VOD. It looks cool with shit, though. Yeah, check out the first one. The first one's good.

Watch it with the lights out. Yeah, pretty scary, huh? I thought so. I'm all for it, dude. After the week I've had him in movie watching, I'm all in, dude. We've got probably checked it out after we get done recording here. Yeah, Christopher Robinson said my movie going experience because, yeah, we'll get to it. Our next trailer, The Ranger, starring Chloe Levine and Jeremy Home, directed by Jen Wexler.

What did you guys think of the Ranger? I like it. Punk Rockers, I'm all in. Mm-hmm. Same here, man. What the hell is going on? It's very 80s. Definitely got a very punk vibe to it, which is kind of cool.

Mm-hmm. And Patrick? Yep. What did you think? Which one is? The Ranger. The Ranger? Yeah.

I did not see that trailer. Oh, okay. The only ones I saw was Bud Clocks and didn't have a match. okay uh yeah the ranger um i'm very i'm interested you know some punk rock kids get you know i don't know if they're lost in the woods or whatever but you know they're being hunted down by our crazy ranger and this is getting a lot of word of mouth through the the festivals and all that so um definitely this one it better have some cool music oh it has to dude it's gonna it's gonna get gonna have an 80 soundtrack all the way right naz

they better. I want all he, I want dead candidates and bad brains and DRI and all them in there. Yeah. So this one does not have a confirmed release date. If you are able to get to any of the horror conventions or movie festivals where they've been making the rounds, check it out. But when it gets a confirmed release date, I will let everybody know. Cool.

And that's the last trailer. Yeah, Pat, I think you checked out last week's trailers, man. God damn it. Yeah, I got whatever you guys sent me. What did you think? What'd you think about them? I mean, they were interesting. The blood pots looks like it'll be a turd.

It's basically in probably. Puppet Master might be all right for what it is. I mean, I always enjoy the Puppet Master movies. And, I mean, it would be worth watching, I'm sure. Cool. All right, what about the, what about the feedback, Phil? Stephen Loblad says thumbs down. Oh, no.

Don't watch. Well, yeah. But regarding the new season of American Horror Story, he says, I'm all in. Okay. Six one way happens to the other. I think I'm kind of with Loblad on this one, guys, because I haven't missed American Horror Story yet, and I've really enjoyed last season.

And CW, when they got to, like, having seven or eight different fucking shows all going at one time, and each one's, like, 24-episode season, I fucking tapped out so hard. I used to, I loved Arrow. It was my favorite show on TV for, like, the first couple of years,

and then Flash was good, and then they brought on the Legends of Tomorrow, and when they picked up Supergirl, I'm like, I can't keep up with this anymore. It's too much. Yeah, it's like 20, like something, like 26 episodes, per season and then there's like five shows going on at the same time and it's too much.

I'm not bad at her as bad at woman, but I'm definitely not going to walk. Yeah. The only one I still watch is Flash and I wait for it to show up on Netflix after the season's over. Right. Yeah, I've heard Black Lightning is really good and a lot of people said it's because it's not connected to the other CW shows. It's its own thing. And plus it's not 20-something episodes either.

Yeah, they could definitely scale them back to about 13. Yeah. I gave each show, and no good, none of them. Really? I couldn't do it. That's not Green Arrow. Justin Harley is Green Arrow from Smallville. I don't know who this imposter is thinking he can wrestle.

He can't wrestle. Some of them, they should just beat his ass and threw him over the top rope. Oh, anyway. Supergirl, she's hot. No, that's not true. There's only one Supergirl. The legend of Billy Jean is Supergirl. Hell is a player.

And that Ezra kid, that's the Flash. Not the Spotter. Yeah, that's the Flash. God, if he's the Flash, we're in trouble, man. It's terrible, dude. No. I don't care what anyone says. I like Justice.

And he's like a young Jimmy. Kimmel or something to me. Oh, he doesn't like that. Yeah. You got tripped by Batman. I'm going to be badass. Can we get Jimmy Fallon as a flash?

I think that would be amazing. Let's give it a shot. Justin Long sounds just enough to work. Justin Long might work too. Sure. Kevin Smith. somehow I don't see that one having.

He's on his Dara Dane. Oh, God. But, hey, if Blunt Man makes a cameo, I'm not mad about that. Fair enough. Why is that not a series? I know, Bluntman and Chronic.

I totally watch that. Everybody else is getting a series. That's bullshit, man. I know. I think we need a sequel to Blank Man. is that Marlon Wayans? That's Damon. Kevin Smith said he gave his TV tries two shots.

They both got canceled. He said he don't want to do TV anymore. What? Clerk. Clert was the other one? Comic book men. Oh, yeah. That went the longest.

Yeah, that was, that went a few, that went, what, five, six, seven seasons, something. Yeah. Yeah, that went a while. They don't last forever. I don't know, but the clerks didn't even show the whole series. They got canceled after like, I think it was like four episodes or something like that. Oh, wow. That's embarrassing.

I like it, though. I watched it when it aired, and then I bought the DVDs when it came out so I could see the whole thing. I thought it was cool, but it just wasn't everyone's cup of tea, so they got rid of it. I can, I get that. Bluntman and Chronic. series, though. Are they doing that? No, but I figured if I keep saying it, I might put it out in the universe and it'll

happen. There you go. I'd watch it. No one like money for that. I'd buy that for a dollar. All right. Regarding the upcoming Netflix show, Maniac, is that anything to do with the maniac that we watched a couple weeks ago?

Nothing. Oh, okay. Well, never mind. Ryan Stevens says This should be interesting I'm not sure what that is What's it about Brian? You know what? I didn't even watch

The whole trailer I just posted it It's on our Facebook page And the group Twitter everything I know it stars Emma Stone And Jonah Hill And it's a Netflix miniseries Hmm

I watched it but I didn't get what was happening I mean, were these people volunteering to see if they were crazy? I don't know what was going on in this trailer. I mean, I'll watch it. I like Emma Stone. Sounds weird. I don't like the skinny, um, skinny Jonah Hill.

Yeah. I still like Jonah Hill, man. That dude is cool. You know who is, uh, skinny Zach Gallifanakis is not funny either anymore. Oh, no. Pretty bad, huh? Eat a fucking cookie already.

Jesus, back. I should... I'm fat people. I need to get skinny, too. So, I don't know. We'll see. I'm working on it. You might stop being funny. Yeah.

Oh, I'm looking at this cast on Maniac. This is fucking phenomenal, guys. It's got the chick from Ozark in it, the one with a curly hair that's kind of like a white trash. Billy Magnuson The boss Gabriel Byrne is in it It's a big cast

They must be Yeah A lot of money on this one Yeah this is like the one trailer I did not watch So I can't even really But a couple people told me It look interesting

So And check that one out And I think it's coming to Netflix Neither this month or next month So Yeah well you got Ozark coming back at the end of this month, I think. I'm all ready for that.

Man, I feel like it's been fucking three years since I watched that series. Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's been around. Yeah, Jeff and Ryan coming too. Hey, it's kind of like better call Saul, right, right, Patrick? It seemed like it's been like two years or something. Well, it has been. Has been.

Did you get to do, Ryan, coming out on Amazon in the month, too, Oh yeah They got from the office Yeah Oh yeah Zinsky All right Zinsky

I like it Yeah Sam Yeah he's on the cover of men health Men Health magazine This month He's his

Jack Ryan workout Is in there Man he went Being that dweeb on the office He's like One of the biggest Action stars now Huh

Yeah he's like Super Swalled now Well after he did That big Gazi movie right yeah and um directing uh a quiet place open them up to more directing jobs too yeah yeah that's good on top of the world it sounds like right now naz you didn't like that i'm not a i don't even want to talk to you about the movie that has been happened today with the movies that you get a hell of good stamp too

the things i suggest are hella good except for one we're going to talk about later but No, man, I just didn't, it wasn't what I wanted. I wanted the alien invasion movie. I didn't get it. Yeah, but this was a real amount of it, dude. I mean, every movie doesn't have to be about the exact event. That'll be the prequel. No, I wanted more aliens and I wanted more action.

This was just, let me be quiet and do sign off the fuck out of here. I mean, I enjoyed it, I watched it, I bought it, I own it because my wife wanted to see it. I gave it two more shots. Same thing. I was like, all right, whatever. I mean, but I can appreciate what they did, how they made it. Right. And this was a movie you needed to see it in the theater.

I think watching it at home, you didn't have that same feeling. What did your wife think? She liked it. She said it was cool, but I was like, all right, whatever. But, I mean, you needed to see this in the theater. That's what I did love about it. Other than that, man, it's all right. I don't know if they're doing a prequel or a continuation.

It's rumored that Krasinski's coming back, so it has to be a prequel. Right. Or at least, I mean, a prequel where he camegoat in it or something. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah, flashbacks. Yeah, because I would assume by the time they make it, the kids will be older and you can't use them. Mm-hmm. so maybe he just makes a flashback at the Anders I don't know

I don't know I'll watch it I mean I have to I gotta see where it's gonna go but I don't know we'll see I think I was the only one in the world that didn't care for it I thought was good oh right listen to feedback so Justin Smith says I've been quiet on the page for a while

but I have very exciting news sick for toys a film that I wrote the screenplay for and star in is available for pre-order on iTunes to be released on September 4th. It's a Christmas horror movie and it's pretty sick. That's the one you saw, right? Lance? Yeah, I did see it and I also noticed it. Actually, I was going through iTunes and I saw it on there, so I guess you can over around and check it out

on September 4th or something like that. Oh, okay. Yeah. Kind of weird timing for Christmas movie, but it's kind of like one of those that it's like Christmas-centric, but it doesn't rely on it being the holiday in a way. It's just this chick that really fucking loves Christmas.

The fucked up thing about it is she's so fucked up about Christmas, she could be having all these decorations up in her house all year long for all we know, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Justin, I need that Blu-ray. He said it's, as of right now, it's only getting a Blu-ray release

overseas, so. Overseas. Yeah. I'm cradley booper himself. While you're in iTunes, leaving us a five-star review so you can get your awesome t-shirt. We still got the contest going, by the way, right?

Yep. Yeah. Well, then go ahead and check out the movie. Let's buy it. Sick for toys? Yep. Sick for toys. Yeah, that's it.

Awesome. regarding the poster for Meet Jimmy. Belinda Deem says, seems interesting. Oh, man, meet Jimmy. Yeah, it also seems like it could be a big pile of shit. I don't know if you've seen the poster. It's a horror movie based off of podcasting.

Hmm. Sounds like our life story, huh? Well, it can't be worse than a horror movie based off of whatever. fuck that un-friended thing is that we watch you know what really we're not we're not gonna talk about that show on this on this one dude we've seen like

50 movies this week you confuse me so much I just wonder if the story stories about technical the story's probably about the story is probably about technical difficulties using Skype oh my gosh

the movie will get a 10 out of 10 live. Oh, unfriended, man. I've only seen one other movie that's worse than that, and we'll talk about it next episode. Oh, no. Wow. Spoiler alert.

Fuck it. I'll write it and we'll do it line. All right. That's my podcast, Ormond. Regarding Puppet Master, the littlest Reich. I love that name. Scary Dad says It looks pretty rad.

I think it does look pretty rad. I'm excited about that one. Yeah, that's our friends over there, Nez, at Scary Dad Podcast. Did you meet them at the Frightmare? I met him when we were outside, and I listen to the show, awesome show. If any of you listen, it was on Twitter, check it out.

Awesome. In the group, Cherie Pierre posted a picture of Chuckie saying it's Showtime and Beetlejuice replying, that's my line you little meth out cabbage patch kid I like it

Jesus delivery wasn't there sorry guys thanks to everybody who reaches out to us that's it for feedback this this week we love your ideas

we love everything you send to us it just feeds the fuel for the show and we want to be as interactive as we can be. You can always reach out to us at the horror returns at gmail.com or check us out on the Facebook group page. Just search for the horror returns or any of the other social medias we're there. And like I said, we're still running the contest on iTunes. So go leave us a review.

It doesn't have to be five stars, but it'd be a lot cooler if it was. And you could put a free free time. t-shirt. They're pretty awesome this year. Nice. Nice. All right. You guys ready to dive in? Oh, man. Now it's time. It's our featured attractions.

You know what? The sooner we start this guy, the sooner we're going to get it over with. We're going to have our very own shark week here at the Hora Returns with the Magna's, 1981's The Last Shark. So the last shark will start up with trivia. Directors Enzo G. Castellari, also known for Warriors of the Wasteland. And get this, Nas, escape from the Bronx. Whoa.

All right. He's made a career out of this. That one. Escape from the Bronx. Writer Ramon Bravo, uncredited, and Vicenzo Manino, also known for Argo-Mannino. also known for Argo Man and Phantom of Death. And here we go. He's unfriended because he doesn't want to get sued.

Well, speaking of which, trivia, shortly before the film's release, Universal Pictures File Suit against the producers, claiming the film plagiarized Jaws. You think? And the Australian distributors for breach of copyright regarding Peter Bensley's book Jaws.

Universal won an injunction, and the film was pulled from theaters. So Patrick, you want to go first on this one or the Meg? It don't matter. Nez, you got to go, man. It's 80s, brother. It's got to be hella good. Oh, fuck.

Yeah, I'll give you a quick little story. We were at the theater. I can't remember what we were seeing, but they showed a trailer for this. It was called Great White. Right. And we're right off of Jaws 2 and everything. Well, yeah, it was before Jaws 3.

but yeah we were like oh so into the shark movies and everything and and this trailer came on man it looked awesome it looked exciting and scary and they're like fuck yeah and it never and it never came out it was never released well in california it wasn't i heard it was back east then it got yanked but me and uh my buddy mike uh we mentioned him earlier we were we were waiting and ready for it and it never came out and what the fuck and then finally when uh bootlegging and all that was going on with the VHS days. I got a copy of it. And it had an Italian title. I couldn't even pronounce what it said. And I was like, all right, whatever. So we started watching it. And I was like, oh, fuck.

And then I started remembering scenes from the trailer. And I went, I said, have I seen this before? And then we kept watching it. And it just got worse and shittiest her head. It went along. and I was like, fuck. And then finally, now the internet's here, I look it up, and I find out, I was like, oh, and then I find it on YouTube, I watched it on there again.

And this movie's fucking horrible. What? An 80s movie that Nez doesn't like. I think that's the first. This movie was pure shit. I love Vic Morrow. I love Jane Francisco. Right.

and I was like, all right, cool, man, a shark movie, man. How bad can you be? And this, they did it. Oh, it was so funny. The shark effects were horrible. I mean, props to the guys that made it. Yeah, good for you guys. I mean, you did what you're supposed to do, but they just didn't.

It looked like shit. And the story, man, they just must have took the jaw script or books and just took, all right, we're going to take this from it, this, this, and nobody will know. Oh, this was just straight jaws. and oh my god the main character's name is Peter Benton oh yeah

yeah hard to imagine anybody Peter Benton oh boy that fucking 10 hour uh

wind serpent video in the beginning was rad as fuck that was bad oh my god I mean this movie was horrible I mean but it made me laugh all the way through and the little

fish tank shark that they used at the end I don't know if you guys caught it but oh my God I did love when the big shark head always came out of the water it never moved it just came right up

it was always in one position every time it's like a float up nose first it would float up nose first it was just bobbing them like a shark iceberg And Vic Maro's accent was horrible. Oh, my God.

Is that Vic Morrow? Yeah. Rest and peace. Wow. Oh, my God. This is a movie to laugh at. Watch the riff track one. It's out there somewhere.

And, oh, my God, this movie. I watch a lot of shit that I love, and I do not love this one. This is not hella good. This is fucking hell of shitty, man. Oh, hell of shit. I love it. I love it. There's tagline.

Is that our first hell of shitty? I think so. I think so. I know there is people that love this movie. A buddy of mine, he enjoys it. It's something to just throw on and laugh at, but if you're a fan of just shark movies, I'm sure you've seen this one, and it's horrible. If you haven't, check out.

It's on YouTube. Copies clear. And, oh, this movie sucks. I hate it. It was like watching the... It was like watching the rough draft of Jaws. Yeah. It's like the demo version.

The unfinished. Yeah. Well, I mean, there was nothing, there was nothing redeeming about this movie at all, Patrick, or what? Not really. Maybe some of them. the beach scenes. No, not much of anything.

They didn't even show any titties, did they? I don't we call seeing it. No. Yeah, they all kept their swimsuits on, damn it. Yeah. I mean, there's a couple of cute blondes, but that was about it. Well, the one scene where the one cute chick got her legs eating off or whatever, and all you could see was her point of view in the hospital base.

on the gurney. That was a pretty actually a fairly well shot scene, I thought. That was kind of... Did she get her legs eating off? I don't know. I kind of felt like when people got eaten, it didn't look like they get anything bitten off. It just body parts just fell off. Well, they had that

one hand for his legs literally fell off. He couldn't hang on to the helicopter, like when it was just there. But like while the shark has got his legs, he's still on the helicopter. Man. And his legs just pop off like fucking Legos.

He needed some of Batman's jerk repellent, man. That guy, that's Darwin right there, man. That guy deserved it. But Philip, you said there was one good scene, right? Was there a good scene? Oh, there was a good thing. This shit was funny, man. Let's talk about the special effects on this guy.

First of all, every time they showed the shark when it was actually moving around. And for probably the first, at least 30, 45 minutes in the movie, the only time you ever see the shark is like obvious stock footage. Like the water is a completely different color. The shark is different. Of the smaller shark? I guess. Yeah. It was definitely smaller.

I was like, is that even a great white? But it was a different shark. every time they showed him in the water. Then he pops up with this, yeah, a little triangular floaty. It's just kind of stationary. It was the worst thing I've ever seen. But I did love the special effects

when that guy was in the boat. And I don't know why the shark came, I guess, right up from underneath him and broke the boat and he shot like 20 feet straight into the air. Did you guys see the part? Oh, man. It looks. It looked like he was on one of those, you know, those, like, those water things that you stand on,

and they shoot a jet of water out from underneath you, and you kind of float on them or whatever. It looked like he was on one of those and just shot straight up. It was crazy. And then if that wasn't bad enough, they replayed that same terrible special effects shit when they were watching it. Well, because that's the only special effects they used. Right. Especially towards the end of the movie,

the shark got like super smart. At one point, they swim into this cave, right? And the shark starts knocking, he decides he can't get into the cave to get him, I guess. And so he starts like knocking rocks off the edge of the cave and trapping them in the cave. He's like, if I can't eat, I'm going to kill you, I guess.

Yeah, because he's one of the sharks from deep blue sea. I guess so. I guess. It was insane. It was insane, man. And every time they showed the shark where it was underwater and not stock footage, it looked like they went from filming the movie to showing, like, a kid playing with the shark in a bathtub. It's like, I'm going to knock these drops off here and you're going to get trapped.

You're going to die. Was it just me or when those kids took their dad's boat out there to try to try to. catch him and they had all that beef and they put it on a hook and then when they showed the stock footage of a shark eating it wasn't it a fucking full chicken that the shark was eating like in the stock footage?

Oh man well that doesn't surprise me at all. They didn't put a whole lot of thought into this movie. Those guys were trying to shoot him with a shotgun. Like that's going to do anything from like 20 feet away. I

I had more fun than I probably should have watching this dumb-ass movie because it was a straight-up like scene-for-seen character for character Jaws took off. They had every right to get sued and it doesn't surprise me at all that

Jaws won and the whole lawsuit thing. It's a pretty shitty movie. But it was fun. No redeeming qualities, Brian. uh no i mean i guess if you watch it with a group of friends it'll be fun but i mean it is a straight rip off right into the

even to the point where you got the same guy that can shut the beach down but won't because he just won't believe he won't believe it's a shark attack what did he say he was like are you sure he didn't get blown apart because you know how he loves the fish with grenades I was like, what? That would have been a better movie.

And the shark, every time it popped out, I kept thinking of that John Cusack movie. One Crazy Summer. You guys ever see that movie with the... Yeah. The dolphin was rabies? Yeah. I was just like,

there is nothing redeeming about this movie whatsoever. And you guys said it all. And I thought maybe it would have some good gore. but like I said, everything just looked like people's body parts were just falling off. Right. And then you had the one guy that basically climbed inside of the shark, when he opened

his mouth, or not really opened his mouth, just kind of popped out the water. And I don't know, it was, this movie's not good. Is that when they blew him up? At the end of the movie, spoiler alert, he, like, he's got

some sort of detonator to blow up the shark. And I don't know why. he does it, but he like jumps off the raft that he's on. For dramatic purposes. Into the water. And yeah, and like detonates it in the air while he's screaming

because I guess that's a better action. And then swims back to the raft and I don't understand the point of the whole thing. There were so many moments in this movie where I was like, what the fuck am I watching? Not to say they weren't funny though

because they were so bad that they were they were so bad that they were funny a couple of them oh man they just this movie

I love I love shark movies even the stupid shark attack series and the ones with a hundred heads and all that bullshit but

oh my gosh I mean there's so many shark movies out there and this is one that just I can't handle it I've seen it more more than I should have seen it after cutting it up so much

No dude I must have seen this like about 10 times What? Wow I've seen it a lot It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't such a rip-off Oh yeah I mean the way to watch this is with a group of friends Don't listen to the show and be interested and throw it on by yourself.

Definitely round up the guys and gals and just tear it apart. Because if you're going to sit there and watch it with Pop Gun, you're going to be mad. Definitely watching. Definitely going to need a few beers for this one. Yeah. At the very least, huh? The very least. Maybe some acid.

Yeah. Something. Then that guy shoots. up in the air and you're like, whoa. Tripping. All right, y'all ready for scores? Yep. Nez?

I'll give this a one. Wow, that's a first. God damn. Patrick? Yeah, I'm going to give it one also. It's definitely, yeah. It sounds like a good score for it. I don't know who's next. I think it's me.

Yeah, I mean, I can't argue. I'll give it an extra happy point just for the shooting out of the boat scene. And the guy's legs snapping off like Legos, because that was fucking funny. I'm going to give it a one and a half. Right, you're going to go with two? No, I can't even go one and a half. I'm going to go one. I don't blame me.

I've gone one also. I heard myself say it, and I'm like, fuck. Oh, man. All right, so basically, uh, takeaway is, Phillips says checking out. Everybody else says,

fuck it. Well, yeah, not like sober. Watch the, Philip saying watch the explosion. Okay. All right.

Let's move on. All the action scenes and yeah, that's about enough. You can see. There is another, there's another shark movie out there. Uh,

I've seen in the 80. I want to say you, if it was not in the 80s, maybe later, 70s, I can't remember the name of it. It was dealing with a tiger shark, and it was kind of like a soft core porn movie. I remember that. There was a lot of tidies in it.

I remember that. Watch that one. Brian, I cast it right there is how you make an 80s shark movie. It starts with a T. I cannot remember the name of it. Tis and sharks? 10. Tintorara, Tinterara, Killer Shark.

That one, yeah. I found it. Yeah, not your average Jaws clone, it says. It was on YouTube. I don't know if it is anymore. I've seen it once, and I don't remember any of the time. Brian. Brian.

There are nails on the topboard scene. This is not just a regular tiger shark. It's a titty shark. I have a quick question. about this movie. Why was it called the last shark? That's a good question. I thought that's the whole movie. It was also called the last Jaws, Son of Jaws, and some other stupid titles. Wow.

Does he some sort of crazy alien smart shark, I guess? Fuck, I don't know. Maybe that was their last Trump shirt. It probably was. They were like, all right, this is the last one we got. Let's film this fucking movie and make it happen. Right. That makes perfect sense. Oh, and we didn't even talk about the guy. Oh, well, yeah. We didn't even talk about the guy on the beach.

They, like, they were having some kind of Fourth of fucking July parade or something. Oh, yeah. What was that? Are you talking about the guy in the box with the guitar? Yeah, they started playing the guitar and singing. It was insane. I'm never sure.

I don't even know what I'm. Definitely can't watch this movie sober. All right. Well, let's move on to the major release this week. It's the Meg. Director John Turtle Tau, also known for Cool Runnings and National Treasure. Writers, here we go, writer by committee. Dean Gregoros, John Hober, and Eric Hober,

based on the novel by Steve Alton. Oh, get this. Patrick, you ought to like this, man. Eli Roth was originally attached as director. Did you know that? I had heard something about that. I'm kind of glad he didn't get sucked to it. Well, it says Roth left due to creative differences with the studio,

namely that he wanted the film to maintain both its R-rating and its $150 million budget. It's also rumored that Eli Roth, on top of writing and directed, also wanted to play the lead role. Oh my gosh. What? I was four in there for a minute. It got all insane on us.

Oh, and in the early stages of development, they were looking at getting George Clooney in for the main role. Does he act anymore? I don't know. Good question. He was all about directing. Yeah, it seems like that way. Yeah, real quick, before we get into the director of this movie had came out, I guess there is a gory, violent version of the movie.

He said we'll probably never get to see. Really? And Jason Stathel. Yeah, Jason Stathen came out, said he's pretty disappointed that the version of the movie that we're seeing is not the version that he told he was going to be doing. So there is a gory, violent version of this movie. I'm looking at a screenshot right now. Maybe it'll be a Blu-ray release. I hope so.

It could be. I hope so, too. It definitely was a... Because I'll look at a screenshot with the Meg coming through a wave, about to eat a surfer. And I don't remember seeing that in the movie. Nope. I don't remember that either.

Oral alert. I saw it in Dress, Martin. Well, Patrick, take us away, man. This has got to be better than the last shark, right? Well, yeah, but that's not heard. I enjoyed it for what it was, honestly. I thought it was pretty cool for late summer, you know, action movie. But definitely I like the fact that it wasn't a typical like Jaws remake or anything like that.

It kind of had its own little thing going on. So, you know, I enjoyed it for what it was. I didn't have a bad time. I definitely would have liked to have seen more gore and stuff like that. that could have easily made it a better movie. I think it hadn't been a rated horror movie. Because, you know, maybe we could have got a piece of fucking titties

or something like that. But, no, seriously, it just, it was, I think it was fun, but it definitely could have been better, but it wasn't true. That movie was bullshit. Straight rip off. Ripped off jaws, man. They ripped off jaws with a little dog.

They ripped off jaws from the little fat kid that wanted to go. women in the beach telling his mom. They had a twist. They had a twist to the little fat kid. They also ripped off Jaws of Revenge.

They ripped off Jaws 3D. What else? Fuck, man. And there was no if there's a gory movie, I would love to see it because this wasn't it. Yeah, me too. And a lot of shit. I couldn't agree more.

A lot of stuff they showed in the trailer is not in the movie. Right. I think they were paying homage to Jaws. I don't know that they were ripping it off. Yeah, they were paying homage to Jaws the way the last shark was paying homage to Jaws, dude. Well, the last shark was ripping it off, hardcore. Even Deep Blue Sea, man, I think they should have went that round.

They should have used that underwater science lab. I mean, I didn't see it in 3D, but my buddy said it didn't do anything. for it. Yeah, that's not surprising. I like the whole cast. I thought everybody in it was good. Jason Statham's always badass. I was waiting for him to punch a shark, and we didn't get that.

Wow, so disappointed. Yeah, Ruby Rose, so fine, but I don't know, I can't see her as a scientist. Maceoka, hero, from heroes. I love him. And the little girl, I thought she was cute. I mean, I liked her a little role in it. I thought they were going to do something with her character a little more, but they didn't. Cinematography, I liked it.

I mean, I liked the special effects of the shark when they showed swimming around and all the underwater life. I thought that was cool. But I was just like, I wanted blood and gore. I had a shark movie. I did too, man. That's what I wanted. I think that's why I didn't like it that much. yeah

I mean I want to Would there even blood in it? I don't even remember I don't think there was I think there was a body part floating in the water Yeah yeah You're thinking of a last shark

Dude where they showed that arm in the boat Oh that's exactly what I was just thinking No there was one where they fished an arm out of the water That was the last shark dude Oh that was this movie too Yeah I'm all confused, man. They even ripped off the last shark.

How do you do that? I know exactly... Spoiler. I know exactly what seed. It's the scene where all the sharks were floating in the water. Right. I know where you're talking about. Yeah, and they said... They said too much yet, man. Okay. Yeah, I'll break it up later.

I think they have... They have... It had potential to be enjoyable. I mean... I love shark movies, and I didn't get what I wanted. I mean, it could have been fine just the way it was if they would have added blood and gore. And then I would have been all about it. I just felt robbed as a shark movie follower, and I didn't get any of that.

I mean, like I said, the cast was good. I liked everybody in it. I just, I was just disappointed. I wanted so much more, because when I was down in L.A., they were hyping this movie up every turn you made, billboards, buses, bus stops, everything down there and I was getting so excited for it and then

I was let down yeah that's about it until we get the spoilers yeah well you guys know I wasn't excited about this I wasn't looking forward to this movie at all because I love I love shark movies too you know good shark movies because the shark is like hidden in the water and it could

pop up and surprise you at any time but something this it kind of like takes away the whole fear of that for me anyway, but I don't know. I really did like the first 20 minutes. I thought the first 20 minutes were really cool where they were showing the technology on the underwater ship or whatever they were. Was that a submarine or what were they on exactly? It's like sometimes it looked like an offshore drilling rig and then other times it

looked like a submarine. What was going on? I think on top it was to make it look like it was a drilling rig, but underneath it was just like a fully. functional sea underwater laboratory something? Well, I like the graphics of all that, and I like the way they set up bringing Statham in. But then after that, man, it just fell apart for me.

I knew it. It was pretty much what I thought it was going to be. Jason Statham, I got no problem with him. He's kind of like the poor man's rock. And he was definitely his best rock impression in here. There's no doubt about that. He was trying to make this his rampage, basically. but I don't know man

this just to me was so so bland like you guys are saying no good kills I mean it was like Jaws Rassic Park to me basically you know you had the killer dinosaurs and the cute kids in peril and the little fucking doggy and all this bullshit

and I don't know man it just didn't do a damn thing for me I didn't think it would and it didn't man I wish they'd have taken more of a Jurassic Park approach to it especially if they were going to do a PG-13 thing I pretty much agree with what you said, though. I like the first, you know, probably third of the movie or so,

maybe even the first half. And I was even okay with, I'll wait until spoilers to get there. But I wanted more Meg. I wanted more Meg. I wanted more destruction. And I felt like it was pretty tame as far as a gigantic shark movie goes. They could have done something really cool here, and I feel like maybe they missed the mark.

I still enjoyed myself. I had a good time. It had a very, it had a very, like, 90s action. It was like a fucking Sylvester Stallone movie. It was like Cliffhanger, and Deep Blue Sea, wrapped up into one movie. Oh, good cool. Because I felt like that's sort of how the writing was.

It was very, very cheesy. not like annoyingly so but it was very you know 90s action cheesy every time Jason Statham you know jumped off the boat to go fight the shark all by himself he's a badass

he'd give some little clip or something and uh uh it was it was entertaining it's just maybe not quite what I wanted I wish it was better um

um this was an average run of the mill action movie with slight little horror elements into it. I mean, I didn't hate it. I wasn't bored, but it missed the mark that it could have hit with the R rating.

Jason Stathen was fine. I don't think I've ever seen him anything. I was just like, oh, I hated him in that movie. Yeah, that sounds like, how bad can it be? It's Jason Stapha. Yeah, Ruby Rose, gorgeous. Ness, you're wrong. She can't be a scientist if she wants to be. She can be anything she wants. She's the rebel

sign. The rest of the cast was fine. Cliff Curtis from Fear to Walking Dead. He was fine. The little girl was cute. It just, like I said, it just missed the marks. I mean, I had fun. I brought my daughter, my eight-year-old. She loves shark movies. Right. Which, by the way, she hated the last shark. She didn't understand what was going on. but, yeah, she didn't,

you put her through that. No, she wants, she really is fascinated by sharks. She's fascinated and, like, scared at the same time. Okay. Did she go, daddy, that's not a shark. She pointed out, why is, why does he look the same every time he comes out to water, meaning the how he would just not move and be pointed straight up in the air?

That's supposed to be all of them down like a floaty. But overall, if this had the gore, I think this could have been a hit movie. I mean, it might be a hit movie because my theater was packed with children. Children are loving this movie. But overall, it just missed a mark for me. Right.

All right. Sounds like we're ready to do some scores and spoil, huh? Yeah. Patrick, what did you think, man? I'm going to give this a six on ten Oh that's pretty good I actually recommend I like I liked it well All right

And it was just kind of like Everybody's saying I mean I had fun with it But it really wasn't as good as I was hoping it would be You know It's It's worth Go ahead and see

And just For a fun movie at the theater But yeah I would love to see more gore More of that So You know Six

on him a little better, a little more good than bad, but not much. That's not bad. Not bad at all. Nez, are you around there too, or what? No, I'll give it about like a three. Oh, wow. Wow, that's pretty brutal, man. And that's only for the cast and the special effects. Not about it.

I don't know. I think they if Eli Roth would have did it he probably wanted a more gory movie and whoever put this out that now we're not going

on that route because we want kids in there and that's probably why he pulled it out and but yeah yeah it just I don't know I was just kind of like

the whole time sitting there and my theater was packed I went with a friend of mine and his daughter his daughter she was like oh my god that was awesome when we left the theater inside my head i'm like i don't know

what you watched but uh but yeah i mean other i mean other kids in there uh teenagers and and maybe 12 year olds or whatever uh that were in there they all loved it they everybody was walking out of the theater oh i like this part i like that part and i'm just like uh i only like movie rose and uh masilka yeah i can only give it a three i can didn't even go halfway with this one. Hmm. All right, well, I'll, uh, I'll go, I'll go a little higher. I'll actually go four, just because I did have a lot of fun with it. I mean, the action sequences were good.

Yeah, I can't say anything bad about Statham. I enjoyed the special effects weren't really that terrible. I mean, there was a lot of CG fire and stuff like that in certain scenes, which was kind of bothersome, but, uh, I'll go, I'll go four out of ten. Not, not that bad. All right. I'm going to go, I'm going to give it a five and a half, I think. I still liked it better than I didn't like it. I think it was still a fun movie. It reminded me also a little bit of that Matt Damon movie, The Great Wall.

Oh, wow. Yeah. Well, that's sort of the level of cheese that it had. And it had kind of that, like, I don't know, Asian action movie vibe to it, where they had like cheesy music playing in the background the entire time. Like every time there was something to be done, it was like, you know, but I still had more fun with it than I didn't, man. I just, you know, wanted some more shark tearing shit up stuff. I'm going to go six and a half. Oh, wow.

Right. And it's mostly based on I had a good time with my kid. She had a good time, which had made me have a good time. I like Statham, Ruby Rose. The cast was okay. The effects of the Meg, the actual shark, I thought were pretty good, but wanted that gore and violence, didn't get it. And I'm going to add to my movie crowd.

I didn't bring it up. If you got a screaming, crying baby, don't bring the baby. don't bring the baby to the movies. I had a baby crying for... Yeah. No, no. Okay, we have... Me and my daughter, we sit in the same seats. It's like the first row when you walk into the theater.

It's just what we do. She doesn't ever want to sit nowhere else. The lady with the crying baby came down from the top row, down the stairs, and sat next to us. Oh, no. With her babe. Until I had to shoot her a look. Like, take your baby.

out of the theater. Yeah. The baby is crying. And I've had that happen, man. I tried to take Logan when he was like three to see Avengers, and he was not having it, man. He was like fussy and whining through the whole thing. And I didn't get to finish watching the movie because once he started loud,

I was like, all right, we got to go. Yeah. And this did the right thing. And this baby knew one word, which was no. Oh, no. No, no. Watched the movie. No.

So, what a little shit, man. Just wanted to throw that in there. And I'll speak up my crowd on Slender Man next episode. I've never taken my little baby to theaters. You know, I take that back. I took my daughter once, but we went and saw that Disney hunchback movie. Oh, yes. And it was on its last run.

Nobody was in the theater. It was just me and my wife and my daughter. that's fine if you're going to go to a theater like that. Nobody else is in there. So you don't have to ruin anyone's experience. Don't take it the first fucking night or whatever. I mean, if you want to see the movie that bad, get a babysitter. Although if you're seeing a movie like that,

you kind of have to expect some kid noise going on in the background. But not babies. No, not babies. Yeah. Why is that even? Does that need to be said? Take your crying baby out of the theater where people are trying to watch a movie. That should be rules right on the front door.

No babies. Yeah, well, I think they do that at Alamo Draft House. And they say that if you make noise or you talk during the movie the first time that they'll come up and they'll they'll politely tell you. An Usher will politely tell you once one more and you're out. And if it happens the second time, you leave without a refund. they got to start enforcing that like in all they should they need to have ushers

in the theater again on the very standing behind the back row like they used to in the old days you remember that Naz or did they have that where you were in there yeah dude I remember many times at the theater when I'd go see something I was always quiet but if somebody was being loud they would

go up and warn them the guys with the flashlights would shine the light on be quiet and if they weren't quiet. The second time, there was no second one. It was like, you got to get out. I mean, that's what they need to do. I mean, you got 100, millions of people out there that need a job. Give them that.

Stand in the back of the theater. And no matter how many times they've seen the movie, the problem with my theater is the ushers that work in my theater are barely old enough to have a job. So nobody's going to listen to them if they come up and tell them they need to stop talking.

They probably all come to work stoned. That's how I should have went to this. Never mind. I did. It was awesome. Well, look, is this even worth doing spoilers for, or do we even need to have a spoiler section here? Yes.

All right. I want to say, I want to say just, yeah, okay, we'll start the, da-da-da, spoilers, here we go. This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. You've been fucking warned. This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. you've been fucking warned this is a motherfucking spoiler alert

you've been fucking warned I want to say just as a just a matter of fact statement how can you how can you do a we're going to fuck with nature and let out this

primordial beast right onto the earth and not have any goddamn repercussions for it how can you man versus nature and and nature doesn't win. What the fuck kind of ending was that? Yeah.

I was disappointed, man. And then they like drop down into the water and it just says, Finn, ha, ha, got you. Fuck you. I was funny. I was irritated. Did you guys? What was going to eat every one of these motherfuckers on this beach?

And it didn't do shit. Did you add any time, did you add any time thought the little girl was going to control one of the submarines? Yes. That's what I wanted to say. They made her seem like, because she said, oh, eight-year-old hear everything. And when she was sitting in that little sub with the transporter, I thought maybe she was going to save the day with something.

Because she knew where all the switches were and how to turn shit on and off. And they could at least did that. And I would have gave it maybe a four. But I was just like, you got this cool. little character. You already introduced us to her. Cute little Asian girl. And then you do nothing with her. I don't think.

You just reminded me, I did like the fact that he did go transporter in this where he used his vehicle as a weapon against the shark when he used to fit with the submarine to slice it open. I thought that was pretty cool when he went a transporter.

Yeah. Yeah. It was like that part. I thought it was a little more original you know how to kill it. but I'll tell you the two things that pissed me off the most, and, you know, Kevin, you brought it up earlier, was that fucking little dog and the fat kid. And why they did not get eaten?

I don't know, but I was so ready for both of them to die. Respect to the fat kid for not losing his popsicle, though. Yeah. Yeah. He had no idea what was going on. I was so mad when that little dog showed back up. I was like, God, dude. I was just waiting for that dog to die.

My kids were ecstatic. I like the dog. Yeah. That's exactly what my daughter said. She was like bummed out. And then when the dog popped up, she was like cheering. And I was like, sit out, stop, stop. Happy ending.

Let's go fucking disturb a natural force of nature. And let loose the fucking monitor. I love dogs. But I wanted that dog to die. I hear that dog. Yeah, I don't see how it was possible that dog survived. I'm going to ask motherfucker. I've never been in the ocean.

I've never been in the ocean near China, but I'm sure the water was a lot rougher than they showed. Because even when they were way out there, 200 miles off the coast of China, and there was barely any ripples in the water. I'll say it. Really? And I can't.

Oh, go ahead, Kevin. Oh, and what were they doing there to begin with? Well, what were they looking for something or were, what was the purpose of being way out there? Having a wedding party, I got. Is that what we're talking about or in the beginning? The beginning, the little science crew, what were they doing out? Well, they were looking at that whole tricks thing in the theory that the hydrogen was on a C4 or whatever, that barrier.

there are some on the bottom of the ocean floor and I thought that that was kind of a cool setup for finding this other world of creatures that we didn't know about right

and that was kind of like the Josh 3 rip off with that little uh the little was the temperature like warm in that little mist of water was it warm or was it super cold

I think it was it I think it was super cold And then when the submarine broke through Bringing the other one up It created a thing of warm water For the sharks to pass through Yeah, I think the temperature rose Which caused the opening

When they came through When they rescued the other submarine So I think that's what happened Yeah, see I thought it was too hot And then it was a cold thing But either way, same concept Yeah, so. Science. Science.

Science. And then I wish there were more monsters that got let loose. You know, this could have been a full-fledged fucking, there's a giant cracking coming out to get you and all kinds of things. See, Phil. Slow down. Yeah, but I don't know, man. Like, they could have done a whole lot with this movie that would have been really amazing.

And instead, they had Jason. Statham fighting the shark. Was it a different size in every scene? I mean, because there were some scenes where it didn't seem super impressive. Yeah, it did change sizes, it seemed like, didn't it? Well, there was the other one, the first one. Yeah, it was big. Even with different, it almost looked like they used some stock footage in certain areas.

Well, like the thin sticking up out of the water. Like, I heard a guy tell a story that I was actually on Joe Rogan show. And he was talking about seeing an orca out in the wild, and he's standing up on top of this crow's nest and watching it. And it comes up to the boat. And he says this thing has a dorsal fin that's sticking out of the water like 10, 12 fucking feet. And he comes and just kind of rubs his fin along the side of the boat and then flips over and rubs the other fin along the side of the boat.

And the whole time he's doing it, he's making eye contact with this guy in the crow's nest. Those fuckers are smart, man. Yeah. Deep blue seal over again, huh? It sounded, it sounded like more impressive than when, you know, you saw this shark's giant fin sticking up out of the water during this. I was thinking, man, they could at least make that fin a whole fucking lot bigger or something. The Megalodon. Yeah, that whole end scene.

the beach that should have been a complete massacre yes oh yeah that should have been like um what was that uh piranha 3d yeah should have been like that those were like fruit loops those are all those uh inner tubes are like different color fruit loops floating on the water i thought the shark was just going to go get up there and scoop them up like out of mail for something you know now that being said i did love seeing where he fights that big bullet ball and you hear that was kind of Kind of funny. I thought that was kind of funny. But yeah,

it should have been like a whale-eaten plankton just going through there. Right. Yeah. I guess he didn't like Chinese food. How far out in the ocean were these motherfuckers? This is like a 70-foot shark. Right.

That was my thought, too. He's like swimming under the shore. You have to be before the shark was too big to get to you. It's like, man, if I can't touch the bottom in the ocean, I kind of freak out a little bit. And these guys are out there, so there, I mean, there had to be 30 feet of depth underneath them for this shark to go there.

You know what? My score of four is rapidly going down. You're talking me out of it, Philip. I mean, if he had just eaten everybody, it would have been different, man. It would have been a whole lot cooler movie. It should have been a blood bath. If you guys noticed, I don't know,

it was right after he kind of tore through. the beach. It swam by the camera and his mouth was open and you could see a bunch of stuff in his teeth. I couldn't make it out to see if it was people's swim trunks or whatever, or was it just a bunch of the inner tube

that had in his mouth? Because they had a ton of stuff in his mouth on his teeth but I didn't see any blood or I didn't even see any blood in the water. I mean, I don't know. I mean, it could have just opened his mouth and just took half of that crowds, especially all those people that were way out in the water.

And I'm like, I was just like, oh, man, I was like, okay, he's getting towards the beach. We're going to see some blood, and we didn't see anything. Yeah, he'd knock some of those little raps over and scared the hell out of everyone. But that was, I mean, you didn't. If he had just taken a whole group of people, you know, and then the whole water just starts turning red, and everybody starts freaking out, and he starts to shout out. one by one or 20 by 25 whatever it's a big ass shark like we said maybe there maybe there's the the R rated version coming on

blu-ray i doubt they filmed all that though man they he's the director said there was like really good deaf scenes that was just taken out of the movie yeah why did they do that because i kind of feel like died yeah because i kind of feel like uh there was more to uh what's his name in the movie? Rain Wilson, when he died? I kind of feel like there was more to that. Yeah. And it just, he said, he said there is,

there was really good and violent death scenes, and they were taken out of the movie. What did they, did they turn Rain, Rayne Wilson into a fish boy and put him in the museum or something? Would have been better. I mean, you guys think about Wayne Wilson? I thought it was good.

I like that. Yeah, he was all right. Yeah, the white truth. What I want with the whole film was you got this awesome trillion-dollar underwater science place. They could at least damage some of that instead of just that one little bite on the glass that they broke. And then have everyone trying to struggle to get out of there,

then get on the boat and have the sharks come after you and all hill break loose. I mean, the whole boat scene when they were trying to put their tracker on the sharks and when they finally hooked it, that was a total rip off of jaws, man. The shark gets a hold of it, starts pulling the boat backwards, then the shark turns. It spins the whole boat around, which I thought was cool, the little underwater tank, the glass one. I thought that would be neat. Man, that'd be awesome.

I couldn't get in those things, no way. but I mean even with that with the shark biting that and breaking the crane and everything that was from jaws the whole time I was sitting there I liked what I was seen but I was just like you guys couldn't think of nothing original

I mean we've seen this already now you're making me want to take my score back because it just really made me think about it they were there was too many times in this movie where they was just relaxed it's like you was in peril one minute and then it seemed like

everything was okay until the next thing. Yeah, they did that lot. I think I like your idea how the whole underwater station, whatever should have been in peril. Like, you should have went from the submarine rescuing that, you know,

troubled to the station getting damaged to the boat, to the, you know, to the next thing. But it just, there was too many times where everybody was just laughing and just, you know, having a good old time, even though there's a fucking megalon swimming around.

I mean, they can go back. They can go back to it, man. The shark's dead and nothing happened really to the space station to the little underwater station. Yeah, it's all still right there. Oh, they can't.

It said Finn. It's over. Oh, yeah. That's true. But yeah, it was just for what happened there, there just was not near enough ramifications, you know?

Like nothing bad really happened. There was like, fucking the dying. Even when they tagged the with the little tracking thing, like right after that, they're high-fiving and laughing and I'm like, no, there's a giant shark out there.

You know, like... Tagging, why did he not just shooting the poison in the first place? And now that they mention that there's a little bit of a plot hole there. Because, you know, they show the, they show the shark knocking the tracker off at the beach. you know, when it gets hit by the rafts or whatever.

So the trailer falls to the ocean floor, and we never see any ramifications in that. Yeah. They're like, they don't try to, oh, it's still over here, come by there's somewhere else. It's like there was no, there was no happenstances to that falling off. That's a good point. It's just like, oh, they fell off, you know.

What I say, six and a half? Yeah. You said six and a half. I'm going down. I'm going down a full point. Yeah. I'm dropping 95. It's still better, good, more good than bad, though.

Yeah, like, it's, it's a, I think, uh, Ness, I think your brother said it good. He said this is a good popcorn movie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nothing more, nothing less. It'd be a better popcorn movie if they killed some motherfuckers in it.

Yeah, no shit. Well, let's hope. I mean, people, directors cut. People. people died in it they just didn't show it I mean, Rayne Wilson,

you see that one and whoever's leg was flowing in the water and that was it but I'll just right here. Yeah, another thing, yeah,

he went out like a chance. I'll give him him. He fights himself. That's like, I don't think anybody else died. I think that's it. Maybe, maybe that's the problem

with having the shark so big is they just get swallowed. Longmire, he died. he died he was what was he a doctor or

yeah yeah but he was he was the asshole from earlier so he had to sacrifice himself mm-hmm his redemption

that was built in there another thing to me the jaws the jaws three rip off after they caught that first shark I mean how heavy was that thing

that shark was still pretty big and that boat didn't even look like it was sinking at all. I mean, and they go down. That thing could have been tons. And then when I say the Jaws 3 rip off, there's

that one, and then they go, no, this isn't the one that it's father or mother or whatever. And then you get the bigger giant the Megalodon or whatever. I was just kind of like, uh, really? Yeah, as soon as they put, when they showed that shark

on the boat, after they caught it, I was totally thinking, this ain't. That's too small. There's another one, and That's what happened. And they did that in Jaws 3, man. I was kind of like, oh, yeah. I was not a fan of that scene.

Everybody's all happy go lucky. Hello? I will say this about it. At least they went back and got a bigger boat. Did they get a bigger boat? They got a bigger boat. Well, I think on that note, guys, I got a run here pretty soon, so you're ready to wrap up or anything else we have to talk about?

I think we're just rambling. All right. Well, as always, we want to thank you guys for listening to another episode of The Horror Returns. We would love to hear your feedback and ideas. Be sure to leave an iTunes review or be sure to reach us at the Horror Returns at gmail.com. Nez, where can they find you? Yeah, you can find MacNez and the E Society and everything else on their Skaternes podcast network. It's on iTunes, as well.

well as pod being find East Society or MacNED on Facebook look for Magnet on Instagram Magnet and the Zisu and I always put stuff on the horror returns Facebook page so you can find me

anywhere. Thanks again I always love coming on here and yeah T-spring.com forward slash red gear. Buy a fucking shirt. Yeah and really quick. The next

movie you guys are going to talk about. Yeah? Are you going to be on the show? Are you coming on the show? No. Bullshit. Oh, no. Come on.

Well, we got another guest lined up for that one, but we get the feeling you, it wasn't your favorite of the year. Well, it was better than bye-bye, man. Really? I haven't. We'll get to it next.

episode, but I begged it different. Yeah. I would say, well, all right, we'll get to the next episode. Patrick, thanks for coming on, dude. We're definitely, we're all glad we're rooting for you, man. A lot of listeners have asked about you, and we're glad to see you up on your feet again, man.

Yeah, well, appreciate all the thoughts. Definitely looking forward to feeling better. But I'm glad to to have it be on here. It's always fun to come on and talk with you guys about stuff. So, Naz is always good to hear from you as well

So thanks for Wow brother Yeah Well next time we'll try to pick a couple of better movies So Maybe next week is the week We finally get a good one Because we've been on

On a pretty bad tear here So we're going to explore the mythos of the Slender Man By reviewing the movie And also I can't keep a straight face I've already seen both of these and it's going to be another rough week, guys. Spoiler.

In 1982's Madman. Brian, where did you find this movie? I picked the movie Cropsey. Found out it was a documentary. And then this movie was more

or this title was brought up as connection to the, I guess, the Cropsy, whatever. So I've never seen. it, I threw it on there. If it's bad, I apologize. I haven't watched it yet, but... We'll find out next week. And we're going to be joined by special guest, Jocelyn Mendez. And she actually, she wanted to be on this show, but she's a listener. She considers herself a Slender Man expert. So he's going to... Yeah, you're going to talk a little bit more about the myth

and also the case with the girls in the video games. So... Oh, good. because I have some questions. All right. Me too. Should be interesting. So Patrick, until the horror returns again.

You're never.