The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #133: Christmas Horror - Elves (1989), Jack Frost (1997) & All Through The House (2015) (Reupload)

Episode Date: August 30, 2025

Paul Stevenson from Who Will Survive? podcast stops by to open some presents. The Horror Returns Website: https://thehorrorreturns.com THR Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thehorrorreturns/ Join THR Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1056143707851246 THR X: https://twitter.com/horror_returns?s=21&t=XKcrrOBZ7mzjwJY0ZJWrGA THR Instagram: https://instagram.com/thehorrorreturns?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= THR Threads: https://www.threads.net/@thehorrorreturns?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ== THR YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/@thehorrorreturnspodcast3277 THR Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thehorrorreturns THR TeePublic: https://www.teepublic.com/user/the-horror-returns SK8ER Nez Podcast Network: https://www.podbean.com/pu/pbblog-p3n57-c4166 E Society Spotify For Podcasters: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/esoc Music By: Steve Carleton Of The Geekz

Regings victims, for those of you who delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify gore, welcome. You have found the place where the horror returns. Listeners beware. This podcast contains major plot spoilers. and the foulest of language. Join us in celebrating the old and the new, the best, and the worst in horror. Where do you think you're going?

Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no, we're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're going to press on, and we're going to have the ha, ha, ha, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap dance with Danny fucking Kay. And when Santa squeezes his fat, white ass down that chimney night,

he's going to find the jauteous bunch of assholes this side of the nut house. All right, welcome back one and all to The Horror Returns. I'm Lance and with me as always, my co-host, Brian and Philip. And tonight all the way from the Who Will Survive podcast. It's a special guest Paul Stevenson. Paul, what's going on with you guys over there at Who Will Survive, man? Hey, what's going on? Thank you for having me on first. I'm glad that we finally got to hook this up here. I know I've been following your show for a while and just kind of friends with some of you guys on Facebook. And I know Philip and I just became friends on Facebook now. So we're supposed to be bonded over football. So that's awesome. Yeah. Go Cowboys.

Right. Yeah. But no, over at the show, we're just kind of making our way through some Christmas horror ourselves. And when I saw you guys had a Christmas horror show, I said, well, this might be. be a cool opportunity to come on and talk a little Christmas horror with you guys. And then I know Lance is going to come and join us on our show as a representative of your show to talk about some Christmas horror movies as well. So I like to kind of make a whole thing and kind of live in one theme for about two weeks of my life. And then when it's over, I just push it all to the curb and I don't want to fucking hear about it at all for months. Christmas is the perfect time for that. Exactly.

Yeah, yeah. Sounds like Christmas for sure. Well, yeah, thanks for God. joining us, man. I know we've been talking a little bit. I think we met each other through our friend Darren, right? Yes, that is correct. Ed asked. I know you were on the show and him and I had talked and he was on my show once and so, you know, we kind of found our way to interacting with each other through that. That's cool how these things work out. Hey, tell our listener so then go back and listen to the show.

you have a like friends to the end is you do that like twice a month or once a month or something like that sure sure so i guess anyone that listens to your show would be kind of familiar with the same idea where if you follow my feed of who will survive there's kind of three different sub shows within that so it's kind of like you guys have the the one where you're doing the western movies and you have some like bonus episodes doing some other stuff so we have our the regular who will survive horror podcast is like just reviewing movies kind of like what we're doing here and then we

have the bonus episodes which just kind of came out of nowhere and really took off of just like you guys do with interviewing a director actor, producer, writer, something like that. Mostly independent level people because I'm not that famous so I can't get I can't get

like studio level people to come on my show. No Spielberg interview yet. No, no, nothing like that. But you know we're holding out hope. We'll see. Yeah. And so we do the bonus episodes. And then I started doing this one called Friends Till the End, which is really just like a, it's kind of a cross of a interview and a conversation. Just usually one on one with myself and one other person.

And then we just kind of talk about their podcast and then talk about life and whatever might be interesting about them or something we have in common. So the one specifically referenced with Darren, he came on because I had heard that the two of us had a common interest in. in the consumption of herbal refreshments, as we put it on the show, I think. Right. And so we talked about our favorite movies to watch under those certain circumstances and just, you know, what we liked about them.

And it wasn't necessarily like everything had to be, this is a movie where people get high and then have a wacky adventure. You know, it was just anything like we had. Those are fun now. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, and that's, I had a Cheech and Chong movie and I also had John Carpenter's The Thing

as one of my movies. Oh, nice. You know, just a fun little topic for us to bullshit and just goof off a little bit and not talk so seriously like we often have to do with our podcasts. So it's fun because it makes me have to learn about other people and their experiences, but also it makes me have to work with different people and get used to flow and rhythm with other people as well where I can't just always be, it's just me and Marco, my co-host on Who Will Survive? and that's it. And we just get comfortable with each other, but I'm never working with other people. So it keeps me sharp.

Yeah. Nice. Cool to learn new conversation skills with another person. Absolutely, yeah. Yeah, that's why we like to have as many guests on this show as we can also, man. Yeah, yeah. And that's, I'm working towards doing that. I mean, our show is new.

We've only been doing it for like a year. So I'm working towards trying to have a heavy flow of guests on the show as well. So I know, like I said, Lance is going to come on. And, you know, Philip and Brian, you guys definitely can come on. some time as well. We'll plan. We know we do one or two shows a month, so there's always room for a person or two to join, you know, join in with us. Cool. Nice, man. Well, cool. So speaking of cool, as if you listen to our show a few times, as you know, the first thing we started off with is cool of the week, man, and you're our guest.

So we're going to ask you first, Paul, other than these three classics that we saw for the for the show, what's the coolest thing you've seen this week? I have, um, I have, um, One thing I'll just kind of mention real quick It was a movie called Sint Or it's actually Saint But some forms is called Sint It's from like 2010 And it's another Christmas horror movie

I believe it's Norwich Of course Yeah Well this one's actually good I believe it's a Norwegian one What does that say? I believe it's actually good Sorry

I didn't mean to put it in the it's much more based on kind of like the pagan traditions of Christmas as opposed to the American traditions and I like kind of foreign Christmas horror to see what they do with it in their cultures. But Santa is basically like a priest that like an ancient priest that is also some sort of a devil that will come and kill children who misbehave sort of a crossover of a crampus type of thing. and then it all has to do with this time of the year when the moon aligns with whatever, you know, very pagan ritual type stuff. So, but very violent and over the top.

Yeah, it's a pretty badass movie. I believe it's also on Shutter. So it's called S-T. S-N-T. How do you spell that? It's S-I-N-T, if you search for that.

But it also will come up sometimes as Saint because that's like the English translation. Yeah. Man, Shutter's got a bunch of shit. Yeah, yeah. And then the other one is this movie called Puka. which is part of this series. I've only watched one.

I don't watch Pokemon, sorry. No, no, this is a series of horror movies. Oh, there's Brian. Did you show it up on the screen. Hey! All right. Yeah, Brian. It's part of this series of seasonal horror movies that is coming out,

and this was the Christmas horror-themed one. Oh, Puka, Cuka? Yeah, it's made by the guy who made the movie Time Crimes, so it's very weird and kind of, esoteric and mysterious and there's not a lot of resolution, but it's beautifully shot with a lot of great music and a lot of kind of creepy terror type of stuff. And if you like sort of those mind fuck movies, you don't really know what's happening or where it's going and you're like, is this real? Is this not real? That type of thing, then it's a pretty cool little hour and 25 minute movie. But it's called Puka. It's a Hulu exclusive thing, which I'm curious to see with this Into the Dark series that they're doing.

it's supposed to be one new horror movie every month like an original Hulu series. It's all made by Blumhouse so there's actually money behind it so I'm interested to see they did a Halloween one and a Thanksgiving one I haven't gotten to watch those yet I just learned about this like two days ago so

yeah Brian you talked about that when it first came out you've seen them all right yeah it wasn't real big on the first two but I really really enjoy Puka very strange trippy makes you think and the way all the lighting and coloring is so cool. It feels like the colors match

the mood and there's a lot of great music cues, kind of some synth stuff and some weird kind of sounds that go on throughout it and some just good driving music and other parts of it. And I know there's a big hashtag I want a puka thing going on on social media.

People want the toy. Right, right. Yeah, it's all based on like a childhood or a child's mascot of a which the new popular toy at Christmas is this weird kind of sentient robot doll or robot stuffed animal thing that it will respond and copy you and stuff, but it is very unpredictable. And it has like a naughty side and a nice side. So it can copy when you say bad stuff or it can copy when you say good stuff.

And the guy becomes the mascot for it where he wears the suit. And the suit kind of starts to take over his life. And you can't tell like, is he in the suit or is he not in the suit? or is he imagining things or the suit does some pretty violent and fucked up shit. This is where it starts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

But no, it's interesting. If you like that kind of stuff, if you like stuff that is, you know, has a lot of closure and not a lot of mystery, if you're not a big fan of, like, David Lynch-type stuff or whatever, I would say it's definitely not going to appeal to a lot of people. But, yes, so basically my cool of the week

is all Christmas horror-related stuff. That's what I've heard. watch it. You're on the right show. What about you, Brian? I was going to go puka, but now I guess I go. It's okay. I watched a leprechaun return.

I've been wanting to see this. If you're a fan of, yeah, if you're a fan of the originals, then you'll like this one. Okay. This is definitely way better than leprechaun origins where they try to go a little bit more serious.

this is a direct sequel to the first one. They do mention Jennifer Anderson and all that stuff. Oh, cool. There's a character from the first movie that pops up in this one. So I think, I can't remember the actor's name, that's The Lepricon. What was it, Lance? You kept saying the new Porco. Linden Porco.

Yeah, I think, I think, I mean, he's not Warwick Davis, but if they continue to use him from now on, I think he'll be fine, you know. He definitely was working for me and some pretty good kills in here. More practical effects than I thought they were going to go with. And, yeah, I actually have fun with it. I think is back to where it should be way, way far away from leprechaun origin. So definitely recommend it. Lepercon returns.

How does it compare to Lep in the hood? That's what I was going to ask. Philip, you know nothing compares to Leppercon in the hood. or back to the hood. Those are in a class itself right there. Yeah, I've never seen lepricon in the, or back to the hood, but we just did a commentary for a leprechaun in the hood. Yes, you did, and I listened to it.

Okay, nice. Yeah, that was something that we went deep on that too. I had to actually watch that movie twice for that. Oh, that's saying a lot. Yeah, look back to back. And I didn't have time, but I was going to review, the house that Jack built, but I didn't have time. I'll probably end up watching it tonight, though.

I heard a lot of good things about it. Yeah, me too. Heather, when she was on, she had a lot of good stuff to save at it. Yeah, so looking forward to that. So I'll probably talk about that next week. So was Lep in the Hood, you're cool of the week, Phil? No, man. It's been a while since I watched that one.

I don't plan on watching it anytime soon. But my cool of the week maybe just is lame. We're doing Christmas movies, and I watched The Santa Claus with... Ah, okay, nothing wrong with that, man. Come on. Tim Allen, yeah. Dude, aside from the cheesy 90s CGI that's awful, that movie is really fun. It's a pretty good Christmas movie to watch.

I mean, there's some that I have on in the background. Like, we watched Nightmare Before Christmas, which is also awesome. But I kind of had that one on in the background. and I was just screwing around and not really paying attention to it because I've seen it so many times. Man, it's been a long time since I've seen the Santa Claus. And it kind of holds up. It was fun. This is a stupid conversation.

Is that the one where Judge Reinhold was blowing the weeny whistle? Yeah, he had the weenie whistle. And he was like a douche. I don't even know what a good name for him would be. like the he's the male feminist before it was cool he was kind of free free douche huh yeah right Santa Claus yeah it's a classic man

he's like I haven't been watching all I haven't been watching all horror too I've been watching some just regular Christmas movies so I haven't seen that one but I did watch jingle all the way and home alone some of the classics jingle all the way that one's not very good actually but

yeah But it's got Schwarzenegger, and I have to get my bad Schwarzenegger impersonation every time we talk about it. Oh, yeah, absolutely. You got to sneak it in. So you guys heard anything? You guys remember when we did the retrospective for the prisoner with Jack on here? You guys heard anything about this new Amazon Prime TV show Homecoming, the one with Julia Roberts in it? I have.

I've not seen it, but they are advertising us everywhere, and movie theaters, TV. homecoming. Yeah, I don't know much about it, though. I'm four episodes and I'm hooked. It's, yeah, it's definitely got that vibe of the prisoner. It's, um, it is pretty cool how it goes back and forth. Now, look, I, I jumped off Mr. Robot big time.

Sam Esmail, the guy who, uh, is the show running for Mr. Robot is, is the, also putting this one out. Um, and I, and I like the first episode, or the first season of that, uh, show, but then it kind of went so far off the rails and got, like way too, I think it's cerebral for the point of trying to just be cerebral. Like I know something you don't type thing. Yeah, yeah.

But so far this one's really cool. And it's just in a nutshell, I don't want to give too much away, but she works for this organization that they take guys that were in the military and they kind of, you know, take them there to reintroduce them back to civilian life. But there's something weird going on.

Like they can't leave. And like there's one scene where they try to leave the place and it reminded me so much of the prisoner. I just really got that vibe. And they thought they were going to get out of there, but they ended up somewhere else. So are they really being held hostage here? Can they get out?

There's a lot of questions. It's a really interesting show. I'm going to keep watching it. And it's only 30 minutes in episode, too. So it's a pretty fast watch. So, yeah, Homecoming. I think 10 episodes of seasons is basically like a five-hour movie. How was Julia Roberts?

Because she's very hit or miss for me. me. She was, she's great, man. Actually, the guy who steals the show, though, is our good friend Bobby Knavalli. Oh. He's fucking awesome in it. I didn't expect him to show up in it. And he's, he's kind of like the weird sort of sinister guy that runs the organization, or he's like a marketing guy. I don't really know exactly what his role is yet. But yeah, he plays the part really well. They're both good. I'm enjoying the show. He's been kind of getting roles like that where you don't expecting to show up in something. And then just Bobby Conavile just kind of pops up.

And he's, I like him and anything he's in. I remember the old, speaking of Leprecon, the old Peter Dinklage, maybe, the station agent. Any of you guys seen that? No, it's been a while. It's been a while. Oh, man. The station agent.

Yeah, Peter Dinklage, he's like this train enthusiast. And his buddy that's a model train collector passes away and leaves him with a station. A little stop on a train track because he's he's kind of like a train spotter where he likes watching trains, collecting model trains, all that kind of stuff. And so he leaves him with this tiny little station. And Bobby kind of all, it's one of his first roles and he drives a food truck around and like parks it right there. And they have dinner and coffee and stuff like that and bullshit. It's a pretty cool little indie film. I don't know. It's probably about 15, 16 years old.

So yeah, if you guys haven't seen that, I would definitely recommend it. You got anything good for us? Yeah, first of all, we're going to talk about a little TV. More casting for Jordan Peel's Twilight Zone reboot. Stephen Jung, Glenn, from the Walking Dead, joins the cast.

About time we see him and something. Yeah. Did you guys see that movie Mayhem that he was in? I fucking loved it, dude. It wasn't. It wasn't in my top five last year, Paul, but it was in my honor mentions. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, it's awesome, though.

Yeah, it's not anything brilliant, but it's fucking so well made. It's like a, it's like a rock video. I mean, that's Joe Lynch makes a lot of rock videos, too, so. Makes sense. It was like this crazy music video. Loved Samara weaving. Was that a year? I don't have her in anything.

Hall pass. Right. How many hall passes do you have? We're going to talk about it. Next week. Endless. Is it next week? Do we have next week a Hall Pass list?

All right. I got to come up with some shit. Man, I'm a last minute kind of guy. Miley Cyrus is rumored to be joining the upcoming Black Mirror season, which is rumors.

I mean, it's Black, it's Black Mirror, so I don't really care who's in it because I've been entertained by almost every episode I've seen. Yeah, it's all been well done. Miley Cyrus? I mean, come on. I mean, it's like she doesn't know how to ask.

It's going to be an alternate alternate universe with Hannah Montana, right? That would be actually cool. It actually might be. Right. And the big rumor is we're getting the season December 28th on Netflix. It's confirmed.

Is it confirmed? I think so. It's on IMDB at least. Really? I'm so used to everything coming out like a year or two from now. You're talking like a couple of weeks. Yep. That's awesome. Thank God, huh? Well, I'm doing December 28th.

Yeah, last year I want to do a show on it. You guys think we can probably squeeze that in here? A little bumbers episode? I'm down. All right. I keep saying, yeah, and then I'm like, we're doing 10 shows a month.

Yeah, I don't have time. And the last thing we're going to talk about is legendary pictures, which you guys may have known that you know they do the godzilla kong movie's specific rim they picked up the rights to remake the toxic adventure did you guys see that thing with uh donald trump that the toxic contender or whatever that artwork i think i think darren put it on his psychosomatic website so you guys check

it out there how do you feel how do you guys feel about a toxic adventure uh remake. I mean, that could be cool. I think, like to me, it's not precious to me. And I know some people are more precious with certain things. And so they do or don't like to see them. So it's not a precious thing. Like, it's a cool enough movie. But obviously trauma, their whole thing is low budget and kind of shitty looking stuff on purpose. So it would be interesting to see somebody do that in a slightly more polished way. It would be really interesting to see James Gunn do it since he used to work for trauma and then now isn't he supposed to

to be attached to Warner Brothers to do like DC movies or something? So could you imagine that if he went over there and he does like whatever the suicide squad or something they wanted to do and then he remakes fucking Toxic Avenger too. He's going to have the Toxic Avenger join the suicide squad.

That would be awesome. That would be fun. I mean I'm not mad at it. I'm not mad at it because of the same thing man. Like I mean it's not I mean it's kind of of a B movie B movie classic

but it's not like Rocky Horror Pictures of status Untouchable Yeah As long as they don't turn it into Like a family friendly PG-13 piece of shit

or something It would have to be hardcore Yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah They'd have to go Graphic with it Right And that is all the news

That's the news All right All right So that means we're We all know where we're headed We know where we're headed Paul do you know where we're headed I do believe I know where you were headed

Is it a place that might be prone to tornadoes? The tornadoes! Good call, brother. So, hey, you're like, I know you're near Buffalo, because I see a lot of pictures of you, like, eating hot wings with people and stuff like that. And running in snow. Bill's Mafia. You guys have trailer parks up in Buffalo?

There are some, actually. Niagara Falls is particularly trailer parky. Like I live right in between Niagara Falls and Buffalo would be the two cities people most know. Niagara Falls, obviously, for the Falls and Buffalo for the wings. So I'm right in the middle of the two, and Niagara Falls is a little more trashy. There's definitely some trailer parks around there. All right. Well, in that case, you're going to feel right at home because we're going to bring you the big, the small,

and sometimes the very, very weird. Brian, what's our first new trailer to talk about this week? Real quick before we get to that, Lance, you didn't join us last week. What did you think of the trailers, Brightburn? I didn't see it. I heard you guys talking about it. It sounds cool. It's about Vizarro Superman or something?

I don't know if that's specifically the story. Is it? Yeah, if you take the Superman, you know, when he comes to Earth as a child and is raised by a family, just take that premise. but what if he was evil? It's more of a... I did see this. It's more of a superhero horror movie.

Well, I mean, it's superheroes, Brian, so you're gonna fucking make us watch it anyway, so... I just look like you're so disappointed and every time. Well, gee, what's the next week's show? I get the highest scores. Right.

Do you know who's behind making that one? I did see the trailer. I think is actually on our Instagram page, but I don't post everything. I know James Gunn is producing Okay And I know his brothers wrote it Which I come to find out

They wrote quite a lot of things Okay well that's good That was one of our concerns Yeah Oh his brother's writing movie Yeah he actually As far as writing he actually collaborates with his brothers quite a lot So sure sure

Yeah they did the Belko experiment didn't they Oh wow okay Together right so I'm in then Although, I liked Mayhem better than the Belko experiment. Right. I thought that was good, but it's not awesome. Mayhem is better.

I would agree. Let's see. Our first trailer, Pledge. Now, this stars Zachary Bird, Philip Andre Boutello, and Aaron Dala Villa, and others, and this is directed by Daniel Robbins,

written by Zach Weiner. What did you guys think of Pledge? Paul? you know my my first so the first half of the trailer I'm going oh god is this just going to be some kind of like over the top torture porn type of thing and a lot of people don't like that term but I don't know what else to call it but something where we're just seeing these guys getting getting punished and people enjoy that because it's cruel and then it kind of comes off like it's more of adventure and kind of comedy too in the second half of the trailer so I think I probably will see it, but I hope that it's more lighthearted and not, it doesn't lean so far into the torture element of it. Because, you know, I'm just not that into like seeing people suffer so much anymore. Not your bag, huh? I mean, I like it in, in the right context.

I'm all for, like green room. You were all about green room. Yeah, yeah. And that's, and that's like a totally different thing where it's not them. You know, we see like they put a rat into a fucking frying into a pot. and then tie it to the guy's stomach and then burn the pot with the torch and like they're branding people and like just doing fucked up making him eat something that's making the guy throw up and I'm like all right is this one of those like those kind of movies you know or is it can be funny so hopefully it's funny that's my kind of take on it so yeah well like when I was a fresh college freshman I actually I wanted to be really cool so I thought hey how do I be cool in college I'm in a pledge of frat this is a worst fucking experience of my life man was fucking miserable So they would take us out to the woods. I was at Southwest Texas State in San Marcos, kind of a smaller college.

And they would the, yeah, the elder guys, yeah, it's party school. So the elder guys would like take us. I don't know what you call them the regulars or whatever. That's how far out of the culture I am now. But they would take us to the woods and like line us up as the pledges. And they'd fucking like get up in our faces and yell at us. And then they'd just fucking leave us there. and we had to like walk back.

So I got so fucking pissed off about that that we went and what first thing we did was we took all the air out of a couple of the guys' tires. Then we got one of the guys really, really drunk and took him out into the woods and fucking left him there. And from what I understand the story that he said was he got chased by a wild fucking hogs out there and ended up in a tree. So I was like kind of proud of that. But then they were like calling us and saying, hey, you guys don't ever come back. by the house again. None of you are welcome. So we kind of did like a pledge uprising.

But now this movie looks pretty fucking interesting to me. It definitely reminds me of those days. And if it's just like straight up torture porn, I mean, sometimes I can dig those movies and sometimes not. But to me, it kind of looked like it reminded me of those days a little bit and how much I didn't want to be a part of that whole scene. So I'll definitely be there. There, I'll check this one out.

Well, it does seem like that they show there's a little catharsis where they're kind of getting back and fighting back to it as well, which when it's more one-sided, like, I mean, I love all the saw movies, but it's really pretty one-sided. There's no, like, getting back at the people that are doing the inflicting of everything. But still, I love all those movies for some reason. I think just because they're so clever to me. True. But I'm also not very smart, so. I think I like the first two or three saw movies, and then I kind of, for me, it went off the rails. but I see where you're coming from

you know kind of clever traps and stuff like that man I I couldn't help but feel how stuff like that the the pledging and the hazing and all that stuff I mean I've been through my fair share of hazing with you know football and the military and all that stuff and I almost have like warm and fuzzy feelings towards it

It's paying your dishes. It's not really fun, huh? Sure. Fucking a goat. They get made to fuck a goat. Well, listen, there's times where it gets taken too far. And I thankfully haven't had that moment. But I feel like hazing in general is something that's going to completely go away,

if it's not already completely gone. And I feel like this is. sort of a little bit of throwback to the hazing days because I don't think that they are what they used to be. Right. Lance is talking about his days being hazed by the fraternities

and they can't do that kind of stuff anymore. Right. So I'm not mad at having a movie about watching that. Even though the frat boys are probably the bad guys. Yeah. They do show there's some sort of twist like it's a cult or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, it's not. They're like this isn't a fraternity.

or whatever. Yeah, like it gets taken too far, obviously. Sure, sure. We're fucking frying in the rat. Yeah. So, I don't know, man. I'm kind of down with it. I'll watch this one.

Yeah. Yeah. Right. All right. I think this gets an early 2019 release date. And Lance, we're possibly working on something for this one? We'll see, man. I hope so.

We'll see what happens. Christ, I don't know what I'm doing tomorrow. Thanks, Brian. You're awesome. And our next and final trailer is probably the biggest one this week. Godzilla, King of the Monsters. Oh, my gosh, Lance. Go ahead. Knock yourselves out, boys.

Lance, let's start with you. What's wrong with this one? Come on, dude. Is this going to be as bad as fucking Kong Skull Island? Come on, dude. a bet. Oh, I guess we did have a big argument about that, huh? Yeah. Oh, man. They

should have kept Kong Skull Island as a five-minute 3D interactive Disney World ride or something and cut all the rest of the movie out. Then I was like to do. I'm not too excited about this one, boys. So, go, uh, go, I know we're going to have to watch it,

Brian. You don't, you don't, you don't like this cast. We got Vera Formiga, Sally Hawkins, Chandler Charles Dance Ken Oontovie that's pretty good cast yeah and then you get what the girl who what's her name seven or eleven or thirteen or what's yeah yeah Billy Bobby Brown isn't this um isn't this made by Mike Doherty yes this is the one that I'm thinking of right because Adam Wingard is doing the King Kong versus Godzilla one but this one is Mike Doherty's that's my main interest in this so

from from my position I didn't actually see Kong Skull Island. I sort of wanted to and it just sort of missed me because I was busy doing something else probably. But I always think that I want to see more Godzilla movies and I never seem to carve out the time for them. So I don't know if it's just something in my brain doesn't prioritize it or something. But every time I see them, I like the stuff that I'm seeing, but then I never really make the time to go see them. So I will probably check this out, but more so because I'm curious to see what Mike Doherty does taking a step up in production. I'm also, worried that this is just like a giant black and blue

CGI fest. Because that's what the trailer looks like it's all just like dark black and blue tone the whole time and kind of misty foggy. Maybe that's just all the stuff they're showing in the trailer, but I hope that it has some tone to it and it's not just bland. That's my concern as well, man. I don't, I don't want Dary to sell out because trick-or-treat was so fucking awesome and Crampus was really good. Unlike some other Crampus movies I've seen, Paul. Oh, come on.

Crampus the Christmas Devil is great. I think that movie took a year off of my life. I love what you think. I'm kind of liking it. I think that a lot of the past Godzilla movies that have come out have been more about trying to create some sort of really amazing story and then having Godzilla in the background, which is stupid because why would you make a Godzilla movie out of that?

I haven't seen any of those ones. Yeah. Fucking Matthew Godrick, right? But in this one, it looks like it's really trying to be more about the monsters. I think I saw like a Mothra reference in it. Yeah, like I don't know, Godzilla fighting other Godzilla monsters. I'm kind of sold. Plus, I like the Kong Skull Island.

I thought it was pretty fun. Right. Yeah, I do need to see that. I think I'll probably like it, but I kind of like comedy, stuff like that. Yeah, it was a fun movie. Lance pretends not to like everything that's popular. All right. May 31st is the release date, and that is our last trailer.

Okay, yeah. Like I said, we'll be there since Brian, you are our program director. We already have a guest lined up too. I'm sure too. Like holding the pitch forks, but first in line. All right, Phil, what's the story with feedback this week, man? We are going to skip it because we got a lot of stuff going on. So it's going to return next week so we can bring you this extra big gift-wrapped Christmas spectacular.

Thanks to everybody who reaches out to us, though. to you next week. We love your feedback and ideas. Email us at the horror returns at gmail.com. Check us out on all the social medias. And give us a five-star rating on iTunes and we'll send you a T-shirt. Listen,

I'm fucking serious, man. What if Petra said don't call it a contest or something? Don't call it a contest. No, but seriously, go to iTunes. It's not fucking hard, guys. Go to iTunes and leave us a five-star review and I'm telling you, we're going to send you a t-shirt. I swear to God, it's going to happen. But we can't do it

without you. So let us know what's up. And hey, hell, come on the show with this. That's what we do. Thanks, guys. That's it for listener feedback. All right. Fair enough. So now that means it's at time for our featured attractions. And this week, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas with elves, Jack Frost, and all through the house. And if you're really good, not this week probably, we're probably going to do it as a special one-off like we did the other two interviews this month, but I think we may have another Christmas interview coming up.

And it might be tied to one of these movies, so we'll see what happens. So we're going to start with elves. I didn't know you had elves working here. Boy, you're hilarious, my friend. He does not. Get back to the story, please. So on the cover above the title.

Does Santa know that you left the workshop? You know, we're all laughing our heads off. Did you have to borrow a reindeer to get down here? Buddy. A little bit of trivia. Director and writer was Jeffrey Mandel. He's also known for turnaround and a TV show Superforce. Any of you guys ever heard of any of this shit?

I feel like Superforce sounds familiar, but that's such a generic name I probably have never heard of it. It sounds like what she talks about in Pulp Fission. I did review a movie called Raw Force on that short bus cinema. Was it good? No, well that was the whole idea

was to take a bad movie to there, so it was not good. Sounds like we're on the same, we may be on the same track here. We'll see what happens, but this movie was featured on episode 14 of Red Letter Media's best of the worst series.

So we'll see if we agree with that. And another little tidbit of trivia, star Dan Haggerty, was sentenced to 90 days in county jail and three years probation for furnishing cocaine to two undercover policemen in 1984. And considering he was reading his 12 steps

in this movie over and over again, I'm very mad at you, Mr. Haggerty. Not a good boy. Not a good boy. I don't remember that being one of the first. the 12 steps. And that's the bullshit undercover cop stuff. He tried to give people cocaine,

and they were like, yeah, you're busted. Man, that's fucked up. This movie was after 1984, right? Right. Well, actually, it was on the mend.

Well, I think the trivia said, oh yeah, yeah, you're right. This was after 84 then. Yeah, so he was on the mend then. That's why he knew the 12 steps so well. He didn't have to practice. He just already knew them. Oh, okay, this was a little bit after that.

They're like, can you? Can you play a guy who's in recovery from cocaine addiction? He's like, I got this. I think I can find that place. Well, look, you're our guest on the show, so if you're interested, man, would you like to go first kind of giving your opinion and run down of the classic elves? Sure, sure. The one thing, I was going to ask you guys, because I know this movie is kind of a legendary thing of being one of the best so bad it's good Christmas horror movie. movies.

Is there, like, so I watch this on YouTube, which is where everyone watches it as like, whatever hundreds of millions of views on YouTube. Is there like an actual legit copy of this anywhere? Because I couldn't even find it somewhere to rent it or, uh, because one of my big things with this is just that the video quality was so bad that it takes you out of the bad acting. Yeah. Like I can enjoy bad acting in, in the right context where it's like, oh, look at, they're trying so hard and they're just not good.

you know it's like I could enjoy that but it takes away from it a little bit when you can't really see their facial expressions because it was recorded on like a dirty VHS camera Brian do you know anything about that I've only ever known this to be on VHS I don't know if there's a DVD or I definitely no Blu-ray I bet that it was just like shot on video

and there's just no better print of it to upscale it or anything off of so but I mean sort of that definitely not on Amazon Amazon then. It's just a YouTube. Yeah, I actually tried to find if I could rent it just to see if it would be better quality. And it wasn't, it came up like nowhere. Yeah, I kind of had that issue too.

But, I mean, other than the quality part, I feel like if it, if there was a better quality version of it, it would bring it up quite a bit because there is a lot of that, that B movie so bad, it's good charm going on in this movie. It has a lot of ridiculousness. There's some crazy character or some crazy dialogue. one of my favorite parts. I watched this with my kid in the beginning when the kid is like spying on his sister and then she comes out. She starts like swearing about how he saw her tits and whatever.

And I was like, oh my God, this is so fucking funny. He was calling the things like gremlin ninjas or some shit. Oh my God. Yeah, so there was some great stuff in here. I just, the quality took away from it. And obviously it can only reach so high just by being a BN movie anyways.

But I did really enjoy. it despite that. It's something that I would probably I'd watch it again just on a smaller screen, not on my TV, so it doesn't expand the quality out so bad. Where you basically can't see anything.

Yeah, yeah. I watch it on my phone next time. I think this picture ain't so bad. Yeah, I thought it was kind of a fun movie. I'm glad you mentioned that about that little shit at the beginning. And she's like, well, I'm your sister.

You're not supposed to look at my tits. He said, what can I say? They're great tits. I really like it. You know, and then he's like fucking back talking to parents. But I thought my favorite part was when the, uh, the young ladies at the department store said, let's go fuck with Santa. Let's go mess with him. And then, uh, he whispers in her ear, oral. Yeah. Oral. And then he, they tell him to get the fuck out of there. What does he do? He goes into his dressing room and sets out about five or six heavy lines of cocaine. then he got stabbed than the dick

right there may be a lot of that we're talking about tonight huh yeah is that just a Christmas thing I don't know I want to know what you thought Phil I want to know

what you thought about this movie man this was custom made for you dude you would think I actually had a hard time finding it and there's only so many hours in the day yeah dude so I missed this one I know dude I'm sorry especially with you guys talking about it

it kind of sounds like listen if somebody's getting stabbed stabbed in the dick there's demon elves and a line of cocaine and fucking sign me up because I need to watch this movie right I thought the elf thing was actually kind of cool too and I think it's

mislabeled a lot of people put that in their reviews of it where they say you know it's only one elf why do they call it elves because it's really just kind of the one that you see at a time you never see multiples of them but I thought that it actually looked cool and it did some all right stuff considering the ability of what they could do with it.

Yeah, fair enough. I thought the special effects weren't horrible on the elf, you know, considering the money they probably had to work with. It's because it's because it was like cocaine. Well, here's what I want to know, Brian, since you're our rugged individualist, our Alaskan guy up there. Is Dan Haggerty like the ultimate man's man? Like, could you see him out there with a team of dogs

and, you know, going through the snow and looking for the aliens and the thing or what? Definitely. I mean, you know, let's not forget, he did play Grizzly Adams. So it's Taylor May for this. But he seems like he can do it all. I mean, in this movie, he mentioned that he was a former detective. Right. True.

So. Yeah. Yeah, he was the disgrace detective that then became like a mall security. And then he couldn't quit drinking enough to, so he lost. his job being a mall security guard too or something. It's a sad story. It's like you get demoted down to mall Santa.

Can't quit drinking, be Mall Santa. I think they tried to jazz a mall security. I think they said a store detective. Yeah, store detective. What's the percentage of Mall Santas to complete alcoholism? I know, right?

But yeah, he was contemplating his life, like, oh, I used to be a regular detective, and then I became a store detective. No, I'm not any detective anymore. It's like, I got to let this go. Hey, Paul. All in all, he's just another dick in the

mall. Did you notice that his voice sounded like Hulk Hogan when he's not doing the Hulk Hogan thing? No. I really have to watch it. Yeah, he totally sounds like Halkogan. He did have a hulkster thing going on there

with his voice. Yeah. Oh, yeah? But not like, you know, brother. not kind of like that, you know, when Hulk Hogan's like talking regular, he kind of had that. I totally thought it was overdubbed by Hulk Hogan. Was it? It might have been, man. I'm not sure.

I mean, there's not telling what was done to this shitty copy we saw on YouTube, right? Right, right. What did you guys think about the whole premise of herb needed to be bred with an L? Oh, wow. Be the next master race for this Nazi cult? Yeah, well, that was, I read about the Nazi thing. Right? So I keep waiting for the Nazis to show up.

And then there's just these random, I guess, German guys. They show up and they're like, where are the Nazis? And I'm like, these are the worst fucking Nazis I've ever seen in my life. They got like pencil thin ties and they have ponytails. I'm like, what fucking Nazi has a ponytail? Well, it was the 80s. I'm pretty sure that's not part of the get up. We are the Nazis.

You don't understand. Brian, what is it with you in fucking Nazi movies lately? I told 12 of them in the last time. Yeah, see, Phillips's right. They make great bad guys and you don't feel bad when they die. Yeah, exactly. Even if they have ponytails. Especially when they have ponytails.

Because they're like the Nazi nihilists. Right. You're about nashing Lobowski. Yeah. I feel like it was a little bit ham-fisted where they tried to go so over the top, they're like... A little? The grandpa had sex with the mom to create a perfectly genetically bred person

that then could get fucked by an elf to create the mat. It was like, are they just trying to throw a whole bunch of shit at the wall and just see what sticks in this point, you know, or? It seemed that way. Right. I mean, I didn't hate it. A whole about how this person can fuck this person in the same family and create a perfect

person, then you probably need some help. I didn't hate it like I appreciated that they were trying to reach for something. It just wasn't executed and thought out very well for sure. Yeah. Well, mom was pretty hot. She was a bit of a elf. I'll tell you that much. Yeah, except she was a total bitch.

Yeah, but didn't she used to be in that old cult TV show, The Land of the Giants? Do you remember that? It was a 60s show. I don't know if you guys have ever caught it, but basically there would be like people, and then you'd have like these giant scissors where you could only see, like, coming from the top, these cheesy edges of scissors, like cutting people and stuff like that, and, like, they would get on these little model cars

and drive them around and stuff like that. I don't know if they were like astronauts that ended up on a planet with larger people or if they actually shrank, but it was kind of a cult show. I remember watching it when I was a kid, and I think she was in it. 60s. Anyway, way off on a tangent there. That's all right. Although giant scissors may make an appearance.

Giant scissoring. Wait, one. Oh, okay. I wouldn't mind seeing two giant scissors. It's 2018 Everyone can do whatever At least she got naked, right? Yeah

Yeah, and there was just definitely a lot of weird cruelty That was trying to be offset by the humor too And I think that was something that struggled in a lot of 80s movies Is they They didn't have the right balance of cruelty to humor Where you're just like, oh, this movie just feels mean Like Silent Night Deadly Night is one like that where, yeah, there's some funny stuff in it

here and there, but it just feels like such a mean fucking gross movie sort of, you know? You're talking about the cat scene? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I didn't like that. They kill a cat in this movie, Philip. I don't know for real or not, but. Oh, yeah, where she puts it in the back.

Yeah, she drowns it in the toilet in a pillowcase. I don't know. I mean, I'm not the biggest cat person, but Jesus. Yeah, just because the stepmom was a bitch. She was like, right? This fucking cats caused me problems.

I'm going to drown it. Like, Jesus, that escalated. Couldn't just like let it out. Yeah. Open a fucking window or something. Yeah. I went from zero to 100. So did you guys, did you get, I mean,

there was obviously a lot of creep factor in this, like with a grandpa. I thought really early on he was like flirting with the granddaughter just a little too much. And then, of course, we find that toward, toward the end there was a lot of fucked up shit going on. I didn't get that in the beginning because I mean, when you first get introduced to him he's like slapping the shit out of her because he just left she took his book.

Maybe he gets off on that too, man. It's a weird fucking family. Hey, didn't you guys think it was kind of creepy when a fucking Hagridy or whatever was like sleeping there in the mall and all the little girls were there having their little party waiting for the guys to show up.

Yeah. Well, you were, I was, I was waiting for them to like, kind of escalate that, too, and they actually didn't. I was, I was glad that they didn't also make him a fucking creep, too. Could have gone a lot worse, huh? Yeah, because there was a lot, like, he was driving the girl around and stuff, and the whole time, I feel like, his heart was pure. Yeah, it's like grab, grabbing her shoulders and, or grabbing her waist and putting her up into the truck and stuff.

He just wanted to save her. he's a good guy and he's doing he's working his 12 steps man yeah just trying to be a mall Santa right fuck now I feel like

I have to watch a stupid oh yeah you do well you guys made me feel listening to you guys talk last week I've got to see

I don't know man you might want to put that one double time if you can watch it in double time yeah speed it up yeah no joke because every

Were they all on quayludes? Something, man. They had to be on something, I'm telling you. It was the 70s. And every fucking line that they delivered was just, it was so, they'd like paused in between each word. I was like, can we get this fucking show on the road?

I got shit to do. Like a Captain Kirk pause? Like, we've got to get on the ship. Yeah, but it was between every fucking word. Anyway. Go check that one out. This one you may want to check out, Phil. It was fun.

You guys had fun watching it, right? Even though it was shitty. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, I think this is the perfect example of something that's so bad it's good, which it doesn't do a lot that is too crazy, but it also doesn't do a lot that's too bad. or too good. It's kind of like right down the middle with a lot of stuff. Right.

But it's like my definition of so bad is it's good is where people are actually trying to do their best and just failing. Yeah. It's always like my favorite. When people just set out to make a bad movie, they're like, we're just going to make this cheesy, corny shit. Yeah. Then it just feels too ham-fisted.

Like that's what happens with a lot of like trauma type stuff that we talked about earlier. Sure. It's like we're setting out to make this ridiculous, terrible thing. And it works in small doses, but in the same regard. It feels so much better when it's just kind of floundering. And like, it's just not working. But they're like, well, fuck it.

Just put it out. We finished the movie. It's a movie. We're this far into it. Let's just go ahead and release. The hole's already dug. Let's just keep looking. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Well, if you guys recall, the last time we did a show where we asked, why the fuck is this movie not on Blu-ray? That was the one we did with the Transformers movie. Brian, do you remember which one that was? the Stephen King directed film? Maximum Overdrawer. Yeah, and what happened about, what, six months after we said that?

Blue Ray. Well, it has to be our fault. I'm going to say it right now. Michael Felscher. Michael Feltzer worked on editing it, and he is a friend of the show. He's been on before twice. It might be.

What? Maybe Elves is next. Michael, if you're listening. Do it. There you go. All right, you guys ready for scores. We do 1 to 10 here, Paul, just like you guys do.

Yes, yes, yeah, yeah. I am prepared. I want me to go first? Yeah, that's your choice, man. You're our guess, so you always get... Sure, sure. So, I gave it a 4 out of 10. It's probably something that in at least a 720 aspect ratio or whatever

quality would probably come up to maybe a 5 out of 10. but I could go word a little bit just because it was kind of hard to see so yeah but still how do you normally rank like really bad movies that are like so bad that are good

right in that range like in that range like in the fives yeah yeah that makes right so yeah I mean six if it's like a classic

you know seven if it's something that was like that I really really loved or whatever but um yeah it's it's definitely like in that five range would be something where I'm like oh this is pretty bad I could see myself watching it here and there it's kind of more fun to talk about than to actually watch but I can't remember when I gave that heavy metal one but it was so fucking awful I don't think I

rated it higher in it yeah I don't think I rated it higher than a five but I loved every second of it yeah so yeah I'm at a four right now at least all right well could be worse I'm gonna I like I liked it more than I didn't like it. That's my rule of thumb, so I'm going with five and a half. Nice. Yeah, I'm going to go with a five also. I mean, you get a shootout in this movie also. That was pretty crazy.

Oh, yeah. And then you also get the crazy guy. You always got it having a movie yelling out in the streets of evil to come. The crazy relative. Yeah. But I think it might have been a little bit higher. if it looked better because there was a couple of scenes like when

you when uh... Haggerty first uh encounters the girls in the in the store when he comes down the stairs like I felt like his face was blurred out oh yeah second there so yeah it's hard to read their expressions you know how that they're acting really is

so uh yeah five I'd probably watch this again if it was a better quality movie wise not acting but I guess we didn't have to put out of Blu-ray. Had you seen this before, Brian?

A long time ago to where I couldn't have honestly reviewed on it. Sure, sure. Yeah, this was my first time to see this one too. Yeah. Same here, first time watch. Okay. Nice. But probably not the last. I mean, really. Yeah, yeah.

Especially if it'll, like you say, come on a little higher quality video. Right. I know it has a little bit of a cult following, so you never know these days. I mean, they put out fucking microwave massacre on Blu-ray, so that movie's a piece of shit too, so. Oh, no, Philo. No. I don't think so.

Aye, aye, aye, aye. All right. So we're basically the ultimate fin-th rattlers on this one. A four and a half, a five and a five-and-half. Yeah. But end of the day, it's really fucking bad, but you might enjoy it. how much how much weed or edibles do you have on you Philip?

Huh? How much weed or edibles do you have on you right now? Like right at this moment? Yeah. I got a little bag of edibles. Go pop it in then. Check it out.

All right. We'll move on to our second film, Jack Frost. In this universe, there's only one absolute everything. Jesus. Starring Michael Keaton.

Oh, wait a minute. I get the wrong notes here. No, that's the one I watched. I can't believe that Michael Keaton movie ripped off this one. Yeah, it was a year later, right? Right? They totally ripped this movie off. As assholes.

Director and writer Michael Cooney, also known for, oh, shit, identity. We really love that one, guys, when we reviewed the John Cusack movie The same director? Yeah, same screenwriter. I don't know if he direct. I think he did direct that one as well.

Paul, do you know? I didn't see that. It says he was the writer and director. I'm looking at it on my phone. I didn't actually see that movie. Well, he did that, but bear in mind, guys, he also did Jack Frost 2, Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman.

Can't forget that. I almost want to see that. And this film was actually Shannon Elizabeth's first acting role. The film was initially, and this could have been different. It was initially going to be directed by Rennie Harlan with a $30 million budget. Wow. So take that for what it's worth. But I don't know.

Who wants to go first here? No, I'll go. All right. I thought this movie was fucking stupid. There's my final answer, man. Like, it had a pretty good buildup, and I was expecting some Chuckie-like fun from it. And I think that they tried to go in that route. But even a naked Shannon Elizabeth, which, you know, you didn't really see much, couldn't save this one.

Although, I did have a question about the scene, the Shannon Elizabeth scene. He's in the bathtub with her. Oh, I don't know. banging her to death? Yeah. Is that what's happening? With the carrot? With his carrot nose.

With his carrot nose. Because it's missing from his face. Right. Well, you see it float around in the bathtub when the tub freezes over and then he forms, but he doesn't have the nose on. No. And it's funny because I had heard this movie reviewed before and they were like, oh, the scene is like disgusting because he fucks her to death and whatever.

And I'm like, man, I don't know. I've seen some pretty horrible shit. I hate to say that any person getting raped to death seems tame, but in comparison, it seems kind of tame. Well, yeah, because they don't make it obvious what's happening here. Yeah, yeah. I agree.

I was so disappointed that it didn't show more. Does that make me bad? Who cares? Well, not like uncomfortable level, but what is this, a PG-13 rape to death? This is bullshit. Yeah, right. No, well, my problem

was with the cock-tees earlier. She's like, let's take all all of our layers off and then stop at the fucking sweater. Yeah, she's gonna listen. Oh, what's over that. Anyway, but, uh,

yeah, no, I, and like, as it progressed, as it kept going, it was just, like,

worse and worse. I'm like, to the point to where I was, I was yelling at the main characters. I was like, what the fuck are you doing right now? You know,

like he's trying to get the key out of the door. with the water coming in, and he's like reaching for it, like he's hanging off of the edge of a fucking clip or something. Yeah, it took so long. Instead of just grabbing the goddamn keys. This is definitely padding for the runtime. Yeah.

It was, I don't know, there were a lot of moments where I just didn't understand what the hell that they were doing in general. And, yeah, it got a little too cheesy. But the production value was good. Some of the moments in the beginning were funny. I think it just completely fell apart at the end. And then they started rapid-firing dumb-ass jokes that didn't stick at all.

Yeah, like none of them. It was like one of those, you know, like the Seth Rogen comedies where they just rapid fire off a bunch of fucking real quick jokes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just off the top of their head, you know. And it was like that, but none of them were funny. Sure. I agree

I kind of I kind of like this I probably I've probably watched it more times than I probably should have throughout my life This is my first watch I've always wanted to watch it though

The acting is bad The movie's cheesy But it knows what it's It knows what it is I mean just And you get the scene When the Jack First breaks out of the

The police truck And they're crashing And everybody's like Oh And the camera's spinning around I don't know why. I know it's bad, but it like makes me laugh every time.

Right. Even like right before the chemical hits him in the face, he's just like, he said, what does he say? He's like, oh, this is going to hurt. And he just stands there and gets hit him. I don't know. It's just. Oh, Jesus.

And the death scenes make me laugh. It's like the bully that gets his head cut off by the sled. Well, that was cool. That was the fun good part. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like that one.

And every time I see Shannon Elizabeth, I always remember when she turned us down for an interview. Yeah, I know. It makes me so mad. She doesn't do interviews for podcasts. Fuck you, Janet Elizabeth. If you're listening, fuck you. Oh, we've said it seven or eight times.

Fuck her, man. And you know what? Oh, hold on. We're on YouTube now. There may be more people hearing this. You know what? Little fucking Andy from Child's Play, fuck you, little Andy.

Oh. That's not a good idea. Aren't we supposed to be like doing a... Never mind. No, wait. He would have gave us an interview if you would have paid for an autograph. Yeah, he wanted us to pay for her autograph. I think Shannon Elizabeth did too.

I was like, hey, can I get a sound bite? Just speaking in the microphone is right about my test. She turned us down, unfortunately. But, yeah. I wonder what? Too bad. Yeah, it happens. Right?

Paul, what she's like? about this. So, I'm kind of on a little more towards your side, Brian, like I didn't hate it. There's definitely some fun stuff. I like the way that they introduce how this thing happens

with the whole, you know, they're fucking with, you know, they're fucking with chemical genetic engineering type stuff, making people live forever or whatever trying to connect to the dots to the future, basically. And...

Sounds like a Nazi plot to me. Right. Yeah, at least they didn't make them Nazis in this one. They were just assholes. The FBI character was a douche and a half, man. That's true. Yeah, he was just like, like, penis. Yeah.

He was like, shut up, local cop. You're stupid. He just, like, punched that guy in the face. Yeah, he's like, this is a need-to-know basis. You don't need to know. It was like his go-to line. But, no, I like how they did that. And the one thing that this movie does,

something that I liked in a lot of Halloween theme movies is the whole hiding in plain sight thing. So, you know, there's a big theme in Halloween time movies, not just Michael Myers movies, but where people are in some sort of a costume as a killer or whatever, and there's walking amongst the regular people causing mayhem because, oh, people are just in costumes, so you don't think anything of it.

And so this is kind of cool where it's that hiding in plain sight. It's just a fucking random snowman hanging out in the yard, and they're like, no, what's that snowman out there? I don't know. Somebody must have built it. It's like, who's going into your yard building, Stoneman? That's kind of weird.

I'd be skeptical, but still. That looks like it's made of felt. Something is wrong here. So I did like that they kind of toyed with that. And there is some decent gore stuff. But again, it's another one where the tone is kind of awkward and they make it feel like

sort of mean-spirited and creepy and rapey in some parts and obviously full-on rapy in another part. But overall, it wasn't the worst thing. It started to just kind of feel stupid. and a little too padded by the time it ended like they had a good idea and they just had to keep piling stuff on which I find with a lot of these Christmas movies

that I've been watching is we have this great idea but how do we make it last for an hour and 20 minutes or more? That was the thing at the end of it like the scene with the fucking hair dryers and shit oh no I was like okay come on it's it follows it was so fucking good

until they get the scene in the school swimming pool area there. At least that wasn't the end of the movie. It came back from that a little bit. True. True. But no the, I mean, the other thing that I kept laughing about is I'm like, they basically just ripped off the T-1000 from Terminator 2. Oh no! It's like, I didn't even get to pick up on that. He turns into liquid.

He reforms. He makes different shapes. He can like, shoot, he can make spikes out of himself and shoot stuff out into people, make ice bullets. Oh, no. Yeah, when he, oh man, my score is going down by the minute. Has witty quips? Well, maybe not so witty quips. Oh, yeah. It reminded me of Arville Schwarzenegger is Captain Cold or whatever in the Batman.

Ah, yeah. I'm putting you on ice. They missed the Chucky Witt, I think, is what the problem was. Oh, yeah. Right. Like, they were going for Chucky and didn't quite get there. Right, right. But, yeah, no, I mean, it has some good stuff that I didn't completely hate it,

but it definitely missed. is a little bit for me too. So it's not something that I'm going to frequently rewatch for Christmas. It will be like maybe every couple of Christmases and might go on. Well, this is something that I will definitely not rewatch ever

because it was an absolute fucking pile of steaming shit. I thought it was okay at the very beginning when they got the character. But really, really the guy's name is Jack Frost. I mean, really? That's literally his name. Yeah, it's fucked up. And it's like, I don't know, man.

something about that escape, that daring escape from the prison truck or transport truck that he was in, nothing made sense. It's like, was it a setup or wasn't it a setup? Who was involved? Was the chemical company part of this? Like, did somebody get paid off? Why did he even kill that guy at the beginning before they even crashed? I don't know. To me, none of that made sense. I think you're looking way too hard until I was just about to say that. Paul, our buddy, Desmond that you introduced me to. Yes, yeah. I watched his top Christmas movies of all time, and this is on there.

And it's like, I messaged him. I'm like, dude. What the hell's wrong with you? Yeah, a lot of your list is really good. But this one, we're going to disagree on. I can't get into this one at all, man. This is, I mean, it's just, in my opinion, it got progressively worse. Right.

I mean, but it was kind of, I don't know, I kind of got a weird. I kind of got a bit of a giggle when he said, well, what was in that oatmeal that you made for me, son? Well, Daddy, I wanted you to stay warm. So, you know, I put antifreeze in your oatmeal. Yeah. Make you stay warm, Daddy. And I'm like, that's kind of cool.

I could sort of, you know, laugh at that a little bit, you know. I'm going to mention that. Sinister and just nasty an eel. And then they're at the end, they're like, antifreeze. I'm assuming in the sequel, he's like an anti-freezed fueled super Jack Frost or something. Any of you guys seen the sequel? I haven't.

If you do, let me know. What's weird about that is like the kid is making the oatmeal in front of his mom. Where is he getting the antifreeze? Is he like, Mom, could you go get me some antifreeze to put in this so dad stays warm and then she just willingly feeds? Like is the subplot of this movie that the mom is trying to kill this fucking dad because he's a loser? That's a six-since vibe there, huh? I know, right? It could have gone really fucking weird real quick.

Yeah. And then they figured out the... They figured out the whole thing about that he can reform after he melts. And they're like, oh, well, we wouldn't be able to contain him. We'd have to have a completely waterproof container. And I'm like, you don't have waterproof containers in 1997? Yeah. What the fuck is going on here?

Get some fucking zip log bags or something. Jesus Christ I thought it was funny how the whole plan is that they fill the bed of the truck with anifreeze and then he just dives out the window into the thing with Jack and then like melt him I think they ran out of plot line a long time ago before that happened and then somehow they drain every last drop of the anifreeze back into bottles

and then dump it oh boy like how did they possibly not spill any of that antifreeze that is ridiculous you guys ready to score it or you got more to yeah okay well I guess I went first so man I'm gonna give it a three because of Shannon and Elizabeth's ass

oh dude come on she didn't show enough man she doesn't deserve it not at all but she's still gorgeous right okay can't argue with that uh I'm gonna go six I was going to go five, but Paul, all the plot holes he pointed out are hilarious to me, so I'm going to give it an extra point. Makes it a lot more fun, huh? Right, right. And actually, I will piggyback off and say that I actually gave it the same score.

I found it enjoyable, but there's enough stuff to be like, okay, well, this movie is pretty stupid, but there's also some enjoyment here. So, yeah, I was at a six as well. Look at. All right, bring us down, Lance. I'm giving this a one-half. This is a point-five. I never want to sit through this shit again, guys. Sorry.

I feel like upon multiple watchings, I could find something enjoyable in this. It's not like that two Jennifer or whatever movie that we fucking watched that. Oh, no. Like it, yeah, I mean, if you're going to to compare apples and apples. Was that this year to Jennifer?

I don't know. Yes, because that was insane we did. So, like, one of the best movies of the year, coupled with one of the worst films we saw all year. No, the worst. Ever. Ever. You're giving our hand here, Brian.

Remember, you're going to have a new catarpe on best and worst. Oh, sorry. Right. Tipping our hand. So, yeah, 0.5. Good, strong, 0.5. Yikes. But no, I'll tell you what really...

I hate to say this. This is going to make me sound so horrible, but when Shannon Elizabeth was in that scene in the bathroom, did you guys notice that they would go, like, right to here on the camera and, like, just barely miss her tits? And then they would, like, come up and just show her legs. Fuck you guys, man. Fuck you.

Let's move on. If you're going to be a B-movie, at least show some movies. You know what? That's what B-movie is supposed to be. That's what I'm asking for here. You guys ready to move on to all through the house? Yes. I know I am.

And on that showing nudity and a B movie, at least, I've watched two of the movies for the show Lance is going to be on, and I've seen lots of boobs in both of them so far. There may be fucking terrible movies, but at least there's some nudity. You got that right, man. Got to save it sometime. You got to get at least a point of two for that, right? So you're watching it, and you're like, man, this movie sucks.

even though one of them was a complete butterface well we'll get into it next week yes yeah yeah but you know what my dad used to always tell me when I was growing up and these are words to live by my dad always said now listen son remember it's it's not the face you fuck it's the fuck you face

and that's words to live by right there hang on that's wrap my head around on that one. Always remember. It's not the face you fuck, it's the fuck you face. Well, Philip, you said your jokes fell flat last week. I guess I'm starting to club here. No, I'm thinking about that probably a little too deeply.

I'm like, oh. Concentrating my future. The monk says. All right, all through the house. So he's kind of like Santa, except dirty and worse. No, much better. and fear Santa the way they fear best. Wow.

That's my favorite part of Christmas, the authority. And the fear. Yes, exactly. Director and writer Todd Nunea is also known for the upcoming Death War 13, starring your friend from Fright Mayor Doyle, Philip. Oh, what? Tell us that story. Oh, yeah, yeah.

He was another one that didn't want to give us a sound bite. I actually bought his record, which... But you said he was cool, at least, right? Well, he was kind of cool. I mean he's in the misfits right I was like hey can we get a can we get a a sound bite from you and he's like uh no I don't think I'm gonna do that

he politely told you to go back yourself I mean which is exactly the way that he said it it was like he thought about it and he was like that does not fit my image nope right so I'm not mad at him the album was awful though sorry dude

All right, well, I'm going to say, what's that, Paul? Oh, is that fair enough? I'm going to say that this film won a best slasher and also best editing at the RIP film festival on Halloween night 2015. Now, that was a party. I wanted to be there for sure. Wait, Doyle was in this movie?

No, no, death were 13. Oh, okay, okay, yeah, the next one that Todd's going to release. Okay, okay, okay, I was like, what? Now I'm confused. also Todd Nia is one best director at the hardcore horror film festival and Brian you're going to appreciate this one man all 100% of the makeup effects and all special effects were done practically not a single frame of CGI it does look good well here's what I want to know uh Brian do you mind going first on this one because I really want to know what you thought about this one first time watch

really really enjoyed it I can't say I necessarily was following the story but I thought the look of the Santa character with his mask was different like you said practical effects there was some good kills a lot of dicks getting cut off

in this movie but he was equal opportunity you know there was some some boobs getting stabbed stabbing all kinds of people even took a dildo from the lesbian girls right? Oh wow! It was like, I'm just taking anything that's a dick like,

I'm good. Black guys, like guys, dildos. Variety. I did like some of the POV shots that were in the movie. He had a bag of dicks. A dick in a box. I did appreciate. did try to go for that kind of creepy voyeur Michael Myers thing because he was always like cross the street lurking around and You know he he was a pretty brutal slasher. I mean even the the cats and dogs got it in this movie. You know

Just killing everybody left and right and overall cruelty in these movies this week, huh? Yeah right now The acting wasn't completely great but then again, we're doing. with this kind of movie, I'm not expecting, you know, Oscar-worthy performances and, but overall, overall, I had, I had fun with it, you know, it was what it was. Sure. What did you think, Paul? So this actually was not my first time watching this one.

This was one of the reasons I picked this episode out of your list of episodes was because we covered this movie last year at Christmas time on our show. And it was our third episode, so we were, just kind of getting our sea legs under us and I had this idea like, hey, let's pick out three bad Christmas horror movies and we'll do this show called We Wish You a Shitty Christmas. And so this year is We Wish You a Shitty Christmas Part 2 and I think that I elevated the level of shit on these picks because this one is actually not bad.

That was kind of my segue to say this is not really that bad. It has a 4.8 on IMDB so it fit the criteria of it had to be a five or less on IMD be for to make our show. And I enjoy a lot about this. The nice thing about this one is it's just like chocked full of Christmas stuff. You know, everything is Christmas lights and Christmas decorations and, you know, fucking guy in a Santa suit and everything is Christmas everywhere. Cookies and candy and just and lights.

I have a, I have a question. Do people really decorate their bathrooms like that? I mean, there was a showerhead that was decorating. I don't know, maybe some... It seems like a bad idea. Some people maybe. With lights plugged in in the shower.

I know there's a few people around me that really have it going pretty crazy, but... Right. Yeah, I don't know about that. They do have light up shower heads. So, like, they're probably some kind of LED battery-powered thing, but...

Those are shower heads. Yes. No, I like the aesthetic of this movie. When I first watched it, the whole crazy mom character, kind of rubbed me the wrong way like she felt too over the top but then watching it again I was like no that's the right tone for this it needs to be and now you know I've seen whatever 250 movies or something since that episode that we did and and I've be able being able to pick up

the tone of what I want out of the character is better and what fits and stuff and I think she fits this well it's it's almost like that um not quite to the level of like the aunt from sleepaway camp or something but you know what I mean that that that she's over the top in the way that she's so preposterous, but she's not all the way to that sleepaway camp ant level. And there is some sleepaway camp kind of parallel to this movie as well, obviously some kind of gender identity issues and stuff. Sure.

The only thing that kind of gives me a little pause is, I don't feel like they're doing this, but in a way it's like if they're kind of making fun of sort of transgender identity crisis type of stuff in this or whatever, but I don't feel like there's some sort of, mean-spirited subtext of this movie or whatever. I think it's just supposed to be nonsense for the sake of nonsense. Yeah, I sort of had a question about that because I was watching the movie and I

can't say I was paying a ton of attention to the plot, but kills were great. Oh, yeah, yeah. Kills were great, beautiful women who a lot of times were naked and getting stabbed in their naughty bits. there's a you know a Santa bag full of dicks so fucking what more do you want dude that's what I'm saying man okay so the

I hate to really give it away but the killer I can give it away yeah anything over a year we do full spoilers okay so killer is a dude and she wanted a girl so she castrated him Right You know with the

Oh maybe that's why the shears are his thing, right? Right. Okay It's not the kind of scissoring that you want to see in this movie Yeah No, no. But like as a child, she probably did that at it, right? Yes, I'm assuming so.

Okay. Well, no wonder he has mental issues. Yeah. Well, and that was the thing to me is like regardless of whether they're making light of the situation or not, you could still find a pathway to where this person grows up with a crazy-ass mom like that. And obviously some kind of fucked up situation where the dad was blamed for some sort of violence to the child and stuff as well. And the mom cuts the kid's dick off and is basically raising this kid as a girl, whether the kid wants to be a girl or not.

It's kind of being forced into that. So you can see the pathway to this sort of psychotic episode. Maybe not all the way to be putting on a Santa suit and murdering people and cutting their dicks off. but, you know, it's a horror movie, so. Well, I don't know. If I got my dick cut off as a kid, I'd probably want to... Yeah, yeah, it's true. But, hey, to each their own.

I feel like that's a good question about this one. I wonder if they got any backlash in the transgender community, you know? Probably, probably not. I think it's all seen in good fun. I think everybody knows what this is. You would know, but, you know, I mean, people are looking for things to get mad at now. True. Right.

Well, and I think this is on a lower level to where it's not up in the main front of people's perspective as well. And, you know, in the same way, I don't feel like it's ever handled, like, the person that has the most problem with gender identity is the victim in this movie. And the person who's kind of trying to exploit that out of them, the mother, is the bad guy or girl. or girl. So I don't feel like it comes off as disrespectful in that regard. Like you could see everyone's, like if they were making it that this person was just had some sort of gender identity crisis and then they just became a killer because they were confused about whether they wanted to be a boy or girl or something.

That would be a whole different story. Yes, yeah, yeah. I think purposefully they didn't make it the forefront of this movie, probably because of that. Yeah, yeah. But, no, and I thought the mom was a little over the top in the beginning. But by the end of it, it sort of worked. Like, at first when I was watching her, I was like, okay, this lady is not the best actress. And then by the end of it, I was like, and she's pretty good.

Right. Yeah, for what she's trying to portray. Sure. Yeah, she's crazy. The whole thing is definitely unhinged. Yeah. Big time. thing kind of grew on me.

Yeah. You know, we missed the main character's movies, so that was unfortunate because she was super smoking. Is that the director's sister? All right, let's, uh...

Oh, it is the director's sister. We'll save that talk. But all of the women in this movie were like super hot. Oh, yeah. Todd's got it going on, man, with his... I don't know who is his casting agent or who his casting director is, but holy shit.

I'm not complaining about any of them. Hey ladies, you want to be in a movie? That's nothing but the dog in me, guys. It is what it is. But no, I actually did really enjoy this movie, man. It was definitely stupid, and it was an indie movie. sometimes the acting is not quite where it should be. Yeah, it's like passable.

Yeah. It didn't bother me in this. The production is really good. The kills are really inventive and awesome. All practical effects. The gores there. Right. Yeah, especially towards the end.

I really loved it. You said this won some kind of award for best editing, and I think that shows in the production, too, where it's put together well. You see a lot of good camera work, and kind of switching scenes and they cut away at the right times to cover up kind of the seams

a little bit of the practical effect stuff. Yeah. It makes a huge difference. More than you would expect, right? Yes, yeah. Yeah, I was a little bit worried. Like when I first started watching this and I'm like, I think I even message you, Brian,

like, Brian, what the fuck do you have me watching here? You do that a lot. Man, that opening scene here. They get to do it. I don't mean to get too judgment. early. Now, I'm talking about the really opening scene, like where it's just the you've got the dummy, the mannequin

or whatever sitting in the lawn chair that has the mask on it and those little shitty kids come out and I'm like, oh man, this is a fucking bratty kids movie. Really? Like Jack Frost all over again? Fucking hey man. Brian, you fucking asshole making me watch this shit

and they hit him, they hit him with like an apple or a rock or whatever the fuck and the mannequin falls down and the mask falls off and they all run away and I'm like God damn it, Brian, you fucking asshole, man. The next thing that happens is how you really feel. Well, you know what? I'll tell you how I really feel.

The next scene is how I really feel because you've got a, you know, kind of decent looking chick. She wasn't like super hot. She was good. She was nice, but she gets in the shower. She takes off her clothes. I'm like, okay, now we're getting somewhere. And then she's like, her boyfriend comes in. And he's like, hey, baby, I'm ready to get it on.

And she says, well, let me tell you something. your soldier better be at attention if you want to get part of this, you know? And so he goes in the other room. And dude, the minute he bent over and he starts jacking off furiously, trying to get his cock hard. You were in. Dude, I'm in. I'm 100% into this movie.

I'm like, yes, yes, this is what I've been waiting for. This is a terrible B movie. This guy's jacking on. And then when the killer cuts his dick off, I'm like 100% Ed This movie's a classic I love it I love this movie guys

And it gets better and better And I'll tell you this I think the acting wasn't that bad And I think Ashley Mary Nunes has I think she's going to make it as a scream queen I'm surprised she hasn't been in more movies Because not only is she gorgeous And I'll tell you what

Either her brother And that may be kind of creepy Todd If you're listening and you probably are But you know how to photograph beautiful women. And you know how to photograph women in peril? And I got a Brian De Palma film. Really, with some of the scenes in this movie, with the beautiful

women in peril, the way it was shot, just gorgeously filmed movie. I really enjoyed this a lot. Well, she was definitely like, I mean, you could tell some of the chicks were expendable and they were like, hey, you want to come into my movie? And then, you know, there was

her who was obviously a step above. I did like the, I don't know the character's name. but she was in the red dress. The one that she put up quite a quite a bit of a fight there before she got it. It's like a Santa,

a Santa dress type thing kind of. Yeah, I like, I like that they weren't all just easily killed off. There was at least somebody fighting back. But yeah, I got, I got a lot of Brian De Palma vibe from this movie.

Kind of a girl power thing the whole, the whole time. And I thought it was a chick that was the killer the whole time until I realized at the end. I did think that too. Big time.

I kept looking at the hands, like looking for, you know, feminine hands and real, you know, thin fingers and stuff. Right. Were you leaning that way, Paul, that you thought it was going to be a female killer? I'm trying to remember back to when I watched it. And I definitely want to say that I at least had suspected that that could have been something just because there's some kind of some stuff set up where,

I mean, obviously when someone's chopping off, they have some kind of a vendetta some kind of a psychological disconnect with that part of the anatomy specifically that they're collecting all of these and everything so which as they reveal later

you know and it's another one where there's kind of a lot of exposition and they sort of beat you over the head with it but for being a stupid movie I think they want to make sure that the point is hit home too you know so but the whole thing is that she's going to let him become a boy again and

And so a dick back onto him, I guess, was the idea. So we had to collect all these to have a choice of them, I guess, but... Gee, you should have been a porn set. Nick your dick! Yeah. Like, I got all these to choose from. Which one? Can we make it like a threaded thing?

I could have a different one each day, maybe. I want the big black one. Yeah, some kind of a quick attachment. Right. Okay, that's what I want. But yeah, I don't remember specifically. but I want to say that I at least suspected that it could have been something like that. Yeah, fun movie.

I mean, I really, I was not expecting this. Right, right. I want to say we actually made a poll with this and a couple others and people had picked this one. I don't know if they were trying to be nice or they thought that they were going to screw us over, but we ended up liking it too. See, and I kind of went the opposite direction from Jack Frost. Like Jack Frost, I kind of initially liked it and it just got weird. worse and worse. And this one I initially was like, what the fuck of me watching? And it got better and better. The very last scene was kind of great. I mean, it was a really fun, it was like

that Christmas movie we watched last year with fucking Captain Clark in it. Oh, with a William Shatner? Yeah. Oh, Christmas Horror Story? Yeah, that was a fun movie. This was a fun movie too, man. I really enjoyed it. I don't know if Melissa would say the same stuff. I was trying to message her. I know she's seen this one. I know.

I wanted to get a review from her on this one. But she hated it. Well, I don't know if she hated it. She's not on here to defend herself. So I'm going to say she didn't hate it. But I think she did. She kept messaging us, what's up with these dicks being cut off?

Well, there's definitely some some weird stuff that goes on throughout to, like the, whatever the whole thing with the, was it that the crazy mom, her husband had had sex with the other girl's dad and that's, it was the connection or something. It did get a little overcomplicated toward the end of the end. Right, right. I think that maybe she should have put that a little more in the forefront, though, because by the end of it, But I was like, oh, it's her sister. Oh, wait. Right, right. I'm confused.

Brother, sister. Half brother, half sister. Yeah. And then all the girls go over to just like help her decorate. And then she's like, oh, I just got to leave real quick. So just decorate the house while I'm gone. Oh, yeah. What fucking 20-somethings are doing that?

It would be like, no, this is stupid. We're leaving. You know what? I did kind of like the dynamic of them, though. I thought they reminded me a lot of the original Halloween. the chicks from the original Halloween. I thought the dynamic was kind of similar. Ah, that may have been on purpose.

So Brian, has Melissa given you any feedback at all on this one? I'm asking her. She said I mentally blocked that out. I think she said, what happened in your childhood and what's wrong with me. So I guess that's her review. Okay. Well, definitely.

everything I wanted from Jack Frost or any B-movie I got here. What are we missing? I mean, like, Paul, Gore, check, right? Yes, bag of dicks. A bag of dicks. Check.

Boos. Check. A little dog named Snowballs. Or sugar balls or whatever his name was. Right. Oh, it was sugar balls, was it? I thought of that because my dog is named Sugar. And I'm like, oh, sugar balls. They kicked it up a notch, you know?

You instantly regretted your naming decisions. That's what happened. Well, it wasn't Christmas when I named her, so, you know, that might have been the difference. Sugar balls. Were you guys ready for scores? Yeah. So we wrap this one up? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I think there's definitely a little bit more kind of complicated theme that they try to fit into this one. to kind of make it a mix of some serious with some comedy. And, like, to me that it works. Like, it's not a great comedy. It's not a great serious movie. But I did like it quite a big. And even after the second watch, like, still being like,

oh, no, this is actually still good. Like, a lot of times you go back to something and you like it a little bit more. So I ended up giving this one a six and a half. I think it's, uh, not bad. I think it's good. It's not great. Something that definitely, now I've watched two Christmas seasons in a row, and I could see this being something that would be kind of on a possibly annual rotation. Oh, wow. That's high praise, man.

Yeah, it depends on how hard I want to go and if I want to try and fit like 30 movies in during Christmas or not. Was it me or Brian? I'll go. I'm going to give it a seven and a half. Oh, nice. It has a lot of fun with it. And Lance, you were right, it got me with the practical effects. Yeah.

100% practical effects. Yeah, that is good. Yeah, when those shears went through the nipple in the very beginning of the shower, it's like that kicked everything off. I was like, I like, they put that in the beginning because I just, I instant I was like, okay, I know what I'm getting in for right now. I was hooked. And Mel says her review is it was the worst.

No number, Mel, come on. Wait on a number, but that's all she said so far. Two, she said two. Hey, that's not too bad. Soon I gave Jack Frost a point five. That's pretty damn good. I'm going to go six and a half also. I think it's, uh, I think it's, it's, it's, it, I had a lot more fun than I expected to have watching this movie.

you know great kills great gore great women great bad guy I thought the Santa Claus itself was kind of scary and the whole running through the fucking forest with the clippers

and that's the only the only weapon that he used the whole time I thought that was pretty cool I was pretty pleasantly surprised I mean it's definitely an indie movie but it's and it's It's Slashor Christmas. I mean, how good can that be?

But this one is. It's pretty good. Cool. You know, I'm thinking back on it, there was actually a scene in the movie that kind of made me feel like it made me realize who I am and what I think and how my mind works.

Because there was... Jacking off furiously. No, I love that. And getting your dick cut off. No, but there was a scene where there was a super hot chick in the bed. they got killed and she was you couldn't see who she was talking to

and this may be you know yeah she was like honey is that what the knives coming up under the bed uh yeah I think so but what was she needs my stupid people right why are you going to go on the fucking bed

what are you doing? I was actually yelling at my TV yeah we jumped off the bed why are you still there anyway that being said I thought it was pretty clever the way she was saying honey and I'm thinking okay her boyfriend right you know and then you come and find this super hot chick that's taking a shower that she was saying honey to you know they're I it's like they

don't really give a lot of they don't have a lot of preconceptions about what's the right way to be you know yeah sexually active or whatever and I thought it was kind of cool the way they turned that I found that that it was her girlfriend instead of a boyfriend or husband or whatever so I don't know I thought that was kind of interesting I like the way that they did that But it made me think. It expanded my thought process a little bit. Well, maybe this had more like sexual undertones than, you know. I mean, it really is a lot.

The whole movie. There's a lot to this movie. Maybe it was a little deeper than I thought. And it's a B movie and it knows it's a B movie and it gives you those special effects and the gore that we want. but I don't know man I really I really enjoyed this so much more than I thought I give it a strong seven and a half too you know

I'm with I'm with uh I'm with uh Philip you said seven and a half uh I said six and a half Brian I said so Brian okay Brian Brian you and I are you and I are in the same boat and uh so what two six and a half two seven and a half so seven average yeah sounds like uh everybody

enjoyed this one everybody recommends this movie Melissa's not on the show It's on Amazon. It's on... This one and Jack Frost, you're both on Shudder. With your Amazon Prime subscription. Yeah. I watched it on something called Tooby.

You guys ever... Tube TV TV. Yeah, a few little commercials in there, but it was free. They don't... The worst is Crackle. Like, the 2BTV ones, you get one or two commercials. Crackle gives you a commercial over like 15 fucking minutes and so on. Fuck, crackle.

You guys... I never tried a canopy? No. Cannabis? Cannabis? Yes, we've all tried cannabis. Yeah. Canopy.

Oh, can't. Yeah, I heard that all the A24 films are on there. Oh. Yeah. And it's free. I heard about that. Yeah. They've tried it.

Artsy on some of their stuff, man. Yeah. You've got on a rabbit hole with A24. Yeah. Well, A24 gave us hereditary, right? Yes. but they also gave it no shit

that was an a 24 so I have two of my top for the year that were 824 movies this is kick ass movies no shit some of them are fucking weird though but they also gave

it comes at night which was boring as fuck it was almost good I haven't seen any of those ones that you said none of them no heredity no I know I'm gonna have to see that one but I haven't seen it yet

I think I'm going to be underwhelmed just because I know my personal tastes. You've probably heard way too much, right? No, I haven't listened to very much. I don't really know what happens in it. I have managed to stay spoiler-free, so. I will watch it before my 2018 list. You've got to get into it. That can't be one you have out in the background.

Yes, yeah. I will watch it before I do my 2018 list. Cool. All right. Well, we're done with this one. So, Paul, again, the pitch man where you at where can our listeners hear you because you got some good stuff coming out thank you i appreciate that uh you know it's it's um it's all under who will survive horror

podcast if you search for that or we are also a part of the legion podcast network with a bunch of other good shows like we mentioned darren his show psychosemantic and the vd clinic it is not a show about venereal disease despite the name. And we are also part of another network called the Raw Live and Unedited Podcast Network, and that's more of a pop culture one that covers Marvel and Star Wars and all that kind of DC and all that fun stuff. But yeah, anywhere that you get podcasts and we have a bit of an Instagram and Facebook presence if you want to look us up under the same name on Facebook or Instagram as well.

and I think that's about it. Nice, man. Well, thanks for coming on the show. Yeah, definitely. No, this is fun. I'm always down to join other people and come into their forum and kind of put my own spin on. Hopefully I didn't talk too much. I have a tendency to kind of talk a lot.

Oh, no, dude, you were perfect. Yeah, but video virgin, man. You broke our cherry. Oh, nice. Yeah, so this is our YouTube debut. Well, at least I put on a clean shirt. Oh, that's true. I'm like, man, I'm half sick.

I don't know what the... That's not hanging out of it. Nice. Well, as far as all you guys, we want to, of course, thank you for listening to another episode of the Horror Returns. We would love to hear your feedback and ideas.

You could reach us at the Horror Returns at gmail.com. And Philip, what is it? Don't call it a contest. Don't call it a contest. No, yeah. Just go... The sweepstakes.

Just leave us a fucking review and get a t-shirt. It's that easy. You leave a fucking video. You can't do a t-shirt, okay? Hey, we're not the horror mafia. Yeah, yeah. All right. Again, I've said it a couple of times tonight.

It bears repeating. Brian is our programming director. So even though we are called the horror returns, since, again, Brian is the program. programming director. Next week, it's superhero week again. With Aquaman. Aquaman.

James Juan director. James one. Okay. I've tried so hard not to say anything about how I think this movie's going to be. So I'm going to keep it that way. What is Deep Rising, Brian? I'm just going to, you just got to watch it. I'm not going to get into it.

Just got to watch it. Just got to watch it. Is it Aquaman? prequel or is it where does it tie in the man man sea monster sea monsters okay like instead of a B movie

it's a C movie uh uh speaking of C monsters in this one no okay I've ever seen the host that's a good C monster movie

yeah that's good man the South Korean movie right yes yeah oh yeah I did see that one that's a weird movie I've got a weird movie I've got I get excited when y'all are talking like random ass movies and I'm like, oh shit, I saw that.

Yeah. It's a little, for me guys, it was a little CGI heavy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, wasn't that the same people that did the Star Wars prequels, did the effects for that movie too, I think? Probably. Makes perfect sense. Yeah.

Well, they probably did it right after or so, you know, it was still like, oh, this still looks kind of cool. We worked on Star Wars. Yeah. Which one? Well, since it is a superhero week, we are going to be joined by Superman himself, Art Marillo. So, Philip, until the horror returns again. God, you know, I had something really good to say a couple of weeks ago, and I can't fucking remember. So, good night.