The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #24: Warlock (1989) & Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them (2016) (Re-upload)

Episode Date: June 6, 2021

It's magic...and this week we are joined by Jesse Bollinger of Horrorcopia. Thanks for listening!

victims, for those of you who delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify go welcome, you have found the place where the horror returns. Listeners beware. This podcast contains major plot spoilers in the foulest of land. Join us in celebrating the old and the new, the best, and the worst in horror. You have found the horror returns. For all of you who delight in dread, fantasize about fear and glorify gore, welcome home. This is the podcast that proves the horror never ends.

Each episode we seek out and review a brand new horror movie, then go back and find a classic work with similar themes looking at both similarities and differences. Our goal here is to explore how our perceptions of fear remain the same from generation to generation, but also to point out how the presentation can change based on the social and political climate of the times. Based on listener feedback, we do include spoilers for the new film.

However, we will wait until the very end of the show to spoil the new feature, and we will let you know before we will. we do so. Kind of like waiting for a couple of Marvel movie stingers or something, right guys? Yeah, exactly. If you don't wish to hear the spoilers, simply turn it off at that point and we promise you won't miss a thing. We generally assume you guys have already seen the classic film, so there will quite often

be spoilers when discussing anything that has been out for at least a year. The other thing that we may do from time to time is use a few four-letter words. This is a horror podcast, and horror movies tend to be R-rated, so you can pretty much expect us to be too. I'm Lance, and with me as always are my co-hosts, Brian and Philip. And tonight we've got a very special guest for you guys from the Horror Copia podcast. It's Blind Frankenstein, aka Jesse Bollinger. How's it going, Jesse? It's going good. I'm just glad to be here.

I've wanted to be on for a while, and we finally were able to set it up. Well, we appreciate you being here, man. We really do. Can you kind of tell our listeners, I mean, I'm sure a lot of our listeners do listen to your show because we've talked about you a few times, but you want to kind of let the guys sort of know what you guys do, how long you've been doing it and, you know, kind of what your show's all about? Sure. Horacopia is a, obviously, horror podcast. We cover pretty much all types of horror movies, new, old. I like to do a lot of stuff. with novels and authors. I try to have author interviews. Just kind of any facet of the horror genre we kind of cover. And we're a very goofy show, which anybody who has listened to us can attest to.

I mean, we have talking spiders that make appearances. We have giant robots. We just, we're kind of crazy. But I think when it comes to the movies that we treat them, you know, the movies with respect, we dive in deep into the plots and things like that. We've been around since, what was it late or yeah

probably the fall I think of 2013 and it's been a few co-host changes along the way but hellbilly which is Alan and I he's been there almost the whole time so he's pretty much my permanent

co-host and we just we do what we do we're usually weekly but with recent recording problems we've been bi-weekly sometimes but check us out I mean we're we're an acquired taste for a bit goofy like I said but you know I think everybody would enjoy it

yeah I've even heard if I'm not mistaken I think I heard macho man on your show from beyond the grave I yes I am able to channel macho man now that is a trip yeah

macho man on the horror returns we got match here guys hey just popping in to say hi so what's I never realized What's going on up there, Votch? You've seen any dinosaurs in heaven lately? They're up here.

They weren't on the ark, but they're up here. Yeah, and aren't you still giving it to be and giving her what she needs up there? Every day and every night and three times on Sunday. Was that a thing? It is now. All right. Something new every day? Well, cool.

So we're, hey, where? Where can we hear you, man? What's the best place to find the show? We're on iTunes, we're on Stitcher, you can just search for Horacopia. I got a thing where you can put our episodes on YouTube, but I haven't done that yet. But iTunes and Stitcher are the best way to find us. Cool. All right. Horocopia.

Video, I guess. It's the next thing. Right? Yeah. All right. You guys want to start out with Cool of the Week? Sure. Let's do it.

What's the coolest thing you've seen this week, my friend? Okay, in preparation of our movies, I've started going through the Harry Potter series. What is that not fucking surprise me that you've gone to every guy? He's been marathoning these things according to Facebook. Are you some sort of like time controlling being or something? He's Dr. Strange, man. Yeah, I am, I don't sleep ever pretty much. I've gotten through most of them.

I have two more to go through. Right. I kind of, with my schedule, I ran out of time. I was trying to do that Harry Potter series and then the sequels to Warlock. Right.

And I only had a chance to get through most of the Harry Potter. But I've, this is my first time watching these. And I have a better appreciation for these movies now. Yeah? They're not that bad, actually.

No, they're not, man. They're really bad. And, yeah, and as the, I like them as the series goes on, as they get older, it gets a little bit more darker, a little bit more, you know, not as, not as kitty. Yeah. And, yeah, that's pretty much why I checked out this week. Yeah, because, I mean, just in case anybody didn't already know, I mean, J.K. Rowling's wrote the books for her, for her kids. And she wrote them in that progression, you know, so that they kind of aged. with the kids and got a little more mature as she wrote them.

I'm no Harry Potter expert that was a little young for my time, I guess. But I have seen all the movies. I remember going to see them in the theaters. And yeah, they're a lot of fun. Daddy. Oh, hang tight. Okay, go. I'm on baby D.C.

detail all weekend, so we may have a couple interruptions. Sorry about that. Oh, good. But anyway, do you have anything else about the Harry Potter movies? Or, I mean, do you enjoy them? Yeah.

Actually, this is the first time my daughter's checked them out, and she's into them now. Yeah? Actually, uh, took her to Fantastic Beasts. Um, a little, that one was a little bit, a little bit too, long for her to actually sit in a theater and watch. But overall, I enjoyed them.

I took mine to go see it too. Because, as I said, I'm on baby detail, and I just saw the movie. My little one fell asleep, which was good because she stayed quiet. And my six-year-old actually, he watched the thing the whole way through. So can't complain. Oh, nice. Yeah, and hey, real quick listeners, if you do hear anything. Anything in the background.

We do kind of have a daddy daycare going on here. Just FYI. And you might hear a dog from my end. Sorry about the background noise. So, hey, Jesse, what's your cool of the week, man? I got to go with, and I've heard a lot of people, some people not watch this because they say it's similar to Ash versus Evil Deb, but I got to go with Stan Against Evil.

I'm really enjoying that. I haven't seen that yet. I haven't either, but I wanted to. It is, to me, it is so hilarious. It just gets funnier and funnier every episode. Is it kind of like Ash versus the Evil Dead? That's what it looks like. Yeah, it kind of is. It's their witches and he's a retiring sheriff. He's kind of grumpy. But some of the stuff he says, like when they get away with it, it's like, oh, dear God, no one would say that unless it was like a man from 1970s.

Like, it's just great. Yeah. Not exactly politically correct is what you're saying. No, he's not. Kind of like Range 15. Great. That is awesome. I'd really recommend it sucks for you. Yeah. I love that. I love that. You guys have any idea of the name of that actor?

I've seen him in a whole bunch of stuff, but I can't think of his name or what else I've seen him in before. All I know is I think he was in Scrubs. That's all I know him from. Oh, yeah. He was one of the certain ones in Scrubs, right? Which one? Yeah.

Yeah, I do remember him. For sure. Yeah, he's one of those you see him and you're like, that guy. Yeah, he's funny. He is so good at this. I highly recommend. Oh, yeah. He's hilarious.

I love that, dude. dude. All right. Yeah, he's been in a lot, for sure. And Brian, I feel bad for you if you're going to watch the sequels to Warlock because I've only made it through the second one, and I told myself I would not watch any further. So.

Yeah, it's, I don't, yeah, I don't know why I do that to myself sometimes, but if there's sequels to a movie, I just have to watch them for some reason. Right. It's weird. The second one's like... The second one's like they don't know if they wanted to be a horror movie or like a young adult teenage fantasy. Like it makes no sense. It's really weird.

Yeah, and then I... The third one doesn't even have the same actor for the lead role. No, it's some other guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna go down that path here this weekend. Except Star Wars. There's like no sequels in the 80s that I can think of that are worth the shit at all.

Yeah, but Star Wars had some pretty. shitty shitty sequels in the in 99 and later that's for Dan Shiger. Right. They never happened. I haven't even seen them all to be honest.

You know, two and three weren't terrible. That's what I've heard. Episode one is you can leave that one. One was on. Okay, so my cool of the week, I don't know. I guess I'm going to have to go with

The Walking Dead. I haven't really watched a whole lot else. Even though it was still sort of a buildup episode, nothing really happened. You're talking about the third one? Yeah.

Yeah, the one that just did, the 90-minute one? All about Negan and his effect on the main group. And I gotta say, man, I really am not a big fan of bitch Rick. No shit, dude, I thought that too. Even in the fucking comic books, by this point, Rick had a plan in the back. I mean, I'm sure he does. Yeah. I'm sure he's got a but what could it be?

Yeah. He just gave up every fucking gun they had, dude. He even went out of his way to find the two guns that were hidden. Looks like a mouse. Give me a break, dude. In the comic books, the whole time he had a whole bunch of guns. Oh, I bet they do have guns. I'll bet Michone has buried guns and hidden them somewhere.

Well. Because that's what happened in the comic. I don't know, because he went after people that had guns that were unaccounted for and made sure they brought them in. It's going to be interesting to see if they twist it, man. But this is, it kind of gives me the feeling like that prison season when, when Rick was kind of going nuts. And he had a little bit of bitch Rick coming out then, too, and I didn't like that. Yeah, when he had his dead wife talking to him.

Yeah, and he's flipping out. And this, this is kind of a throwback to that season, which is probably my least favorite. Right. And I don't like Rick like this. Although Negan, he's a bad dude, but he's a cool-ass character. All I'm going to say is that if they do, like Jesse, have you read the comics? No, and I'm terribly behind on the series, but I know what's going on. I kind of fell behind and never caught up for some reason.

Let me put it to you guys this way. And Brian, you don't read the comics, right? No, I haven't. All right, well, if they stick to the comics at all, then they're going to need a whole lot more than one fucking bullet to do, to pull off what they pulled off in the comics. I imagine. There's a reason that they call the next section after this all-out war. Oh, nice. That's what they call that whole story arc in the comic book.

So there's some fun shit coming if they've been smart enough to hide some guns away. Well, Negan was supposed to be their big reset, so we'll see. I also watched the season finale of American Horror Story, which... I watched that, too. I kind of thought it was a little disappointing. It was like, well, I mean, During the whole season, they cut it down to like 10 episodes. And so in almost every single episode, something big was happening.

And then I feel like the last episode, I mean, you needed it because it was kind of a wrap-up episode, but nothing really happened. That's disappointing. I'm still a couple behind, so I was hoping they'd keep the pace up that they've had. I mean, I don't know. I can't say it wasn't a terrible season, I don't think. I liked it. I thought it was interesting. definitely kind of kept you guessing

it was different, it was creative I think I was just a little disappointed in the finale. Well, my cool of the week is a little show on HBO that I'm behind on, obviously, because they're already up to like nine or ten episodes, and I've only seen three,

but any of you guys checked out Westworld? You're farther ahead than me. I'm only done with episode one. Hey, what did that? Yeah, I'm only... Do what, Brian? I was going to say I'm only on episode two. Oh,

And I want to know what you two guys think first. I love it. I think it's awesome. I mean, I really enjoy it. Yeah, I'm enjoying it so far myself. Okay, they were talking about this. Have you guys seen the movie? I did see the movie, but years ago.

Yeah, I've seen it to the point where I really couldn't give a review on it because it's been so long. Yeah. But I'm really digging this. I like it. They were talking about this one on the radio, and this is coming from. a guy who's not, you know, a big horror or sci-fi fan, but, uh, he said that he got like two episodes into it and it wasn't really going anywhere, so he quit. And, uh, it feels like a slow burn. Yeah. Yeah, that's not giving it much of a chance, though, only going two episodes in.

Well, I mean, you know, that's two hours into it. I, I would imagine something interesting has got happened. I thought it did. But I thought, yeah, the big, I don't want to give anything away, but there's something pretty big that happens in the, what is it, middle or, end of the first episode. I mean, things do happen. They just... Right? It's plotted out. Oh, I did start watching Black Mirror, too.

Yeah, what do you think? It's pretty cool. I mean, I'm just like a couple episodes in, but it's... From the original, the first British series? Yeah. So you saw the one with the pig fucker. That was crazy. All right? Yeah.

What was the next one after that? The five million credits or whatever? Yeah, 15 million. Or 15 million? Yeah. Yeah. It was like American Idol slash... American Idol.

Having to ride their bicycles and generate energy. Yeah, that was an interesting one. Very weird. Yeah. It gets weirder and weirder. Yeah, but it's cool. It's like a modern-day twilight zone, I think. How far are you into that, Jesse?

I am two episodes in. I took me a little while to get through the credits one. Gotcha. What about you, Brian? Only two episodes in. All right, cool. Well, you guys have, I kind of envy you guys, actually, because you get to check out, you get to see stuff new

that I've already seen now. I'm just waiting for the next series, which is supposed to be in early 2017. Yodus fucker ain't one of us. He said he'd fuck a pig. Yeah, no, the thing I like about Westworld, though, I mean, I can kind of see where, you know, some

people might think it's a little slow. Because every day they kind of reset and they start in the same spot they were in. Like, you always see the main character waking up in the morning and getting out of bed. I don't really know anything about it. Yeah, it's, basically they're

androids and it's this theme park in the far we think it's pretty much kind of the far far future

yeah they never really say I don't think yeah it seems like it I mean with the technology is the robots

basically look like people and so they've created this place called Westworld it's like a it's like Walt Disney World for grownups and you get to go there and you get to

shoot outlaws and screw hoars and cool yeah it's a really it's a really cool concept and I'm sure one day it will be

you know that will be you know that will be what happens. Now, I don't know if it's going to be robots or I don't know if it's going to be more like a holodeck type thing. I'm sure there's been a few. But they're starting to be, the main thing is they're starting to become sentient. Okay. Yeah, so the androids are actually becoming aware of themselves. That's kind of what happened in this movie too, which is really awesome. I can't remember what the hell it was. Yeah, I'm, anyway, I'm enjoying it quite a bit. So,

all right, so it sounds like we've all been pretty busy. So I think you guys know what time it is now, right? What time is it? That's with every show. It's time to take a little trip down to the trailer park. Okay, our first one is Minutes Past Midnight, Starring Jesse, I'm sorry, Jason Fleming, Barbara Steele, and Mika Boomerin. And this is a horror anthology, so it's got a whole bunch of different directors. most of them I don't recognize. So sort of the VHS thing.

None of our Mumble Gore directors in here, man? Not that I've seen. But it was all right. Nothing in the trailer really caught my eye. How did you guys feel about this trailer? Jesse, did you get a chance to see this one? Yeah, I'm a huge anthology fan. So even just knowing that, I'm probably going to check it out.

I like, I mean, it looks interesting to me, and I was reading about it. I guess all these segments are short films that they just have kind of put together. Right. So I don't think there's a real, like, cohesive story, but, I mean, the trailer was. Yeah, I got that impression, too, from the trailer. It was, I mean, it was okay. It was what it was. But like I said, I hear anthology, and I'm already there.

So I'll be watching it for sure. Yeah. Because if you don't like what's going on, just wait a few minutes. wait, yep, and you're good, hopefully. Unless you're VHS viral, but we won't get into that. I haven't had the patience to watch any VHS sequels, but I really like the first one. Oh, the second one's so good.

Is it? Oh, it's really, I think it's even better in some ways. Yeah. This had a lot of creepy imagery, which I thought was cool. But, you know, I don't think they really give away what's happening. with any of the stories, you know? I think this one is out now too, isn't it? Yes, it is.

Oh, well, there you have it. Okay, let's see. We're going to move on to our next trailer, which is Lavender, starring Dermott Maruni, Abbey Cornish, and Justin Long. And this one is directed by Ed Gass Donley,

and the only film I recognized that he did was The Last Exorcism Part 2. I heard that wasn't I've heard that was horrible. It is a piece of shit. I love the first one. Oh, it's a horror.

Did you see it? Yeah, she's in like a home or something, right? Yeah, it is a horrible, first of all, it's a horrible name for a movie. The Last Exorcism Part 2. Yeah, it's obviously not. The first movie was supposed to be the last. Yeah, it kind of flies in the face of the name of the first movie, huh? Actually, like I said, the demonic stuff and the exorcism things, that's my favorite genre.

So I definitely watched this one. Well, the last exorcism one. Right. And I didn't think it was that bad. I mean, it wasn't great. How did you feel about the trailer for a lavender? I think the main actress, Abby Cornish. Yeah.

She was in Sucker Punch. I think she's hot. She's a gorgeous young lady, especially. I mean, she just has one of those super pretty faces, you know? You cited people are so lucky. I'm sure you make your own ways of telling if a chick is hot, man. Come on. It all goes down to the voice.

And I've kind of wanted to, like, assemble a list of people that I think have a hot voice and just see if I'm right based on if it's similar. Can I test you on a few? All right. Scarlett Johansson. I'd say yes. You got to know that. I figured it is. She's got such a

She has a sexy voice. She really does. All right, Brian, your turn. Oh, an actress? Yeah, come up with somebody you think has a really sexy voice. Kate Beck and so.

Yeah. I didn't sound too convincing you, I don't know, kind of. Not really. I mean, I don't know. Kind of. I like the British accent, but it just sounds older to me

for some reason. Not there's anything wrong. How about Pamela Anderson? She's got kind of an annoying voice. Her voice annoyed the shit out of me when I was like, I was like, no way. Didn't exactly give you a boner, huh? No, I just found her totally annoying.

I don't know. I mean, everybody else always talked about it. I thought, you know, she just annoys me. Right. All right, well, that was an interesting game. You guys want to be around two? I was going to the next thing. Trailer, I mean, for me, I just, I don't know.

it didn't seem interesting the story or anything. It didn't really grab me. Right. Yeah. The preview didn't really give you much to go on. I have no idea what the fuck is going on. I didn't either. I was like, what the hell is this about? Yeah. It was quite odd. Yeah. But I think that was kind of the part of it too, though.

It's so obscure, though, that it doesn't really make me want to see it. You know what? There was another one we saw a few weeks ago that was in that camp. Like super obscure and we couldn't figure out anything about it, but it kind of looked interesting. Yeah. I mean, this one at least looks interesting.

You got to admit that much. I guess so. It didn't really grab my attention. Right. All right. Well, we'll probably skip on this one next. Okay. We're going to get into the biggest trailers to come out.

The first one is Ghost in the Shell, starring Scarlet Johansson. Not going to be skipping on this one. No. Speaking of Scarlet Johansson. Yeah, there she is. There she is. By any chance, does anybody say? seen the original?

I have. I have. Yeah. I have never seen it, so I don't really... I mean, the trailer looks cool as hell. Yeah. I'm definitely going to go see it, or the movie, but I'm not too familiar with the story.

Yeah, I kind of got that Blade Runner vibe a little bit from the trailer. That future... Very, very Japanese influence, obviously, because the original... I hope they keep that, though, with, like, the whole story. I mean, obviously, it won't be Japanese, but I hope they keep the things that made

Ghost in the show like made it central story I hope they don't change it too much yeah yeah the picking Charlotte Johansson probably saved it

they can really however they want to now people were complaining you know the whole ethnicity of the character and it's like I think in my opinion the reason they did that is

I don't think any as we would have seen it but as everybody else, your main shibonance, I don't think would have seen it. They just had some random Japanese girl that they'd never heard of. Oh, yeah, no. Then it wouldn't have been even on anybody's radar. I think that if you're looking at, you know, old school anime body types,

Scarlett Johansson is probably the closest thing. That's what I was going to say. Did she kind of fit the character as far as she fits the character as far as the body type goes? I mean, as far as the body type goes, that's about as close as you can get to it. without you know, I mean, there's not really a whole lot of of actual

Asian chicks that look like that. You guys should check that out, though, the original if you've never seen it. Yeah, I'm probably the only one in the group that hasn't. You've seen it, right, Brian? I've never seen it. I guess that's on our list for the week. That's on our list.

Yeah, this movie's due out March 31st next year. Just so you know, Brian, there is a sequel, so I know it seems like you like to watch sequels. Oh, God. But it's actually good. It's good, though. Oh, okay.

Okay. Hey, there's a, there's a TV series, too. There's an almost naked chick in it, and it's, you know, I was like 13. So that was an awesome movie. Again, damn, okay. Okay, moving on to a movie that, when it comes out, I'm probably going to watch all the sequels in every movie. Kong Skull Island

trailer number two Yes, I'm all in man I haven't seen the second trailer yet though I watched this five times Completely different from the first trailer I saw the trailer At the movie theater For like

For the new Harry Potter movie Yes It I mean It's definitely got some big name actors But so did the last one so. Oh, yeah, that's true. We'll see how it goes.

I mean, I love Samuel L. Jackson. I love, um, uh, what's the name? Tom Hiddleston? Loki or, uh, or John Goodman? John Goodman. Yeah, John Goodman, everything he touches seems to turn to gold. I kind of like the rock. John Goodman and Samuel L. Jackson are, both of them have kind of a golden touch to me.

It's going to be good. Yeah. It's going to ask you. I'm hoping. so, but I'm not counting my chickens before they hatch. I'll wait until he gets here and I'll watch it and we'll see. Yeah, I had

no idea John C. Riley was in this movie. Nor did I. Nor did I, and he's a pretty big name, man. Yeah, like I said, it completely different from the first trailer. Second trailer was much more humorous. Right. And I

looked up to director, Jordan, I'm probably going to mess his name up. Vock Roberts. Okay. Directors just had bad names. Yeah. He directed the Kings of Summer. What the fuck?

Are you serious? Yes. That movie couldn't have cost more than $200,000 to make, and they gave him a budget to... What the hell did they see in him? I mean, granted, it was a good... It was an okay movie. But, holy crap, what is it with all these little independent directors getting these huge Hollywood blockbusters, man? It seems like that's where they're going for some reason.

Yeah, the Godzilla movie's been given to the director of Trick-a-Treat. Right, right. That should be in good hands. And the first Godzilla movie was directed by an unknown guy, too, the guy that did monsters, remember? Which is a great movie. A really good movie. So I see where the humor is coming from in this movie. I'm just, I don't want too much humor in this movie.

and this trailer seemed like pack full of humor. Oh boy, that's not a good sign. That's, yeah, the one that I saw was, uh, was, was really not. It, uh, it looked like it was serious. Samuel Jackson was saying that this is the prehistoric beast and we're about to show him what's up. Right? He didn't say he's getting tired of these motherfucking apes on this motherfucking island?

No, but I would have laughed if he did. It was something similar to that, though. March is going to be a huge month for movies because you figure you got that. You have Ghost in the Shell. You have the Logan, the Wolverine movie. Oh, is that March, too? Yep. There's something else, too, but I can't remember what it.

Oh, the Beauty and the Beast, the Disney movie. Oh, yeah. Did you guys check that trailer out? I did. I watched that. I'm looking for it. I'm actually looking for it. Don't make fun of me.

No, I am too. I'm going to probably be the one that's not interested. I thought the CGI looked kind of shitty to me. Really? Yeah. You would think Disney could do better. And I love Emma Watson. I mean, who doesn't?

But I, you know, I don't know. We'll see. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe I love the Jungle Book so much. That was great. Yeah, that was pretty awesome. The CGI in this one, I don't know. maybe it's just a trailer, but it just

it looked like a step down from Jungle Book. Yeah, I didn't think like to go like straight with the cartoon, you know, the way that... It seems like a direct I mean, from that trailer, direct remake of it. Exactly. Frame for frame. I kind of like the movie. Is it a lot of attention version of the cartoon? Well, I guess the music was even the same. Do what, Jesse? The music was even the same in the

trailer from the opening of the cartoon. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. Oh, boy. Well, we'll see. Give them a chance. I mean, it is, it is Disney. In my opinion, right now, they can do no wrong. You're right. I agree. With any of their franchise. Yeah, Disney is, is kind of on top for everything. Did anybody see the Justice League Dark trailer? No. Yes. Didn't that looks out. Yeah, I, I, I, I, I, I was going to fit it in here, but I didn't know if that was too many trailers, but, um, I mean, I get swamping, so I'm happy. Yeah, absolutely. That's cool.

I also want to know why we haven't done a Wonder Woman thing yet, because that trailer is awesome. We did talk about Wonder Woman. The new trailer? Yeah, we covered the Wonder Woman trailer last week or the week before, man. Do we? Yeah, we talked to doing a double bill with that and Captain America First Avenger. I don't always remember. Because the World War II.

That's all right, man. Yeah, we got the, we got the, we got the, it in there. Back to Skull Island. The release date on that is March 10th. All right, cool. And that is our last trailer. Okay.

Our first bit of news here, Amelia Clark from Game of Thrones has been cast in the Han Solo standalone movie. I heard about that. Who is she going to play? Any idea? That's what I wondered. They haven't specified yet.

I'm not even sure if they really finished the script yet. I don't imagine they have a whole lot of people that were in the, I mean, except maybe Chewy or something, you know, they cast a land, didn't they, aren't they cast a land? Orlando, yeah. Donald Glover.

Yeah, Donald Glover. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, from Atlanta. But, but I mean, aside from those few characters, I mean, it's, it's kind of few and far between what they would, you know, who they would grab out of the original movies. So, hey, Jesse, what,

What did you think about the newest Terminator movie? I have not seen it yet. Really? I have it. I just haven't watched it yet. See, I think people gave it a hard time. I've heard from people it was good. I just haven't.

Yeah, I thought it was the best one that they've come out with since Terminator 2. Oh, wow. Strong works. Well, it wasn't as good. Well, there's not really much against it, though. Right. I mean, true. I think about it.

I mean, yeah, because the other movies were kind of bad, except the one with Christian Bale was pretty good. I liked that one. Yeah, I enjoyed that one. Now, isn't that, correct me if I'm wrong, guys, but isn't that the one where Christian Bell had the meltdown on the set? Oh, yeah. Where he has that classic line, they always play on Stern. Good for you! That's the greatest thing ever.

What John Connor wants, John Connor gets, right? It's a great drop. Okay, what's the what we got here? Fox is making a vampire series. with Ridley Scott and Matt Reeves. Is anybody interested in another vampire series? What is that based on? I think I read that, but I can't remember.

I don't have the information. I feel like it's based on something I know, but I don't remember. I was up for it, whatever it was. But I can't remember what it was. As far as I know, it's called. Oh, it's based on the passage. Yes, the passage. And as far as the information I got,

Matt Reeves is set to direct. he directed Cloverfield. I'm in for that. Okay, it can't be too bad. It's about like a virus, I think, that like turns the people into vampires, but I'm not positive. I think. Interesting.

I was years ago that I read it. Okay. Has anybody seen the other trailer for the new FX series coming from Ridley Scott? Oh, right. You're talking, yeah, I know what you're exactly. Tom Hart that has Tom Hart. Yeah.

Does anyone know what that's at the Hardy? I was going to mention that. I can't fucking wait. I have no idea what it's about. Man, that's, those are big dogs playing in it. There's some big dogs playing in the TV world.

You know what I mean? Yeah. I have no idea. From the trailer, I have no idea what this show's about. I don't know. I'm all in on this stuff. You're not going to watch it.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm. Night it comes out. I'm watching it. Tom Hardy and Ridley Scott? How do you not? It could be about him sitting there watching paint peel off the wall

and I'm in. Doing the Bain voice. What's that? Watching paint peel while doing the Bain voice. I'll do that. Yeah, dude, I mean that, yeah, that show looks really

fucking creepy. That show looks creepy as hell. Do you guys know what it's about? I have no idea. It doesn't look like it. Any idea, guys? No, we were, no, we were just saying. watching the trailer you have no idea what it's about.

All I know from people that have watched it with me is it looks creepy as hell, so I'm in for it. Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. Very atmospheric. Let's see here. Are you guys familiar with the comic book, Pain Killer Jane? I've heard of it.

Wasn't that a short-run TV show and sci-fi in the early 2000s? Yes, it was. Okay, I thought so. They are currently trying to do a movie. They cast it Jessica Chastain as the lead role. I'll watch that. You're in, huh?

Yeah, she's one of the ones on the voice. If we were doing the voice game, I would say yes. Oh, no kidding? Yeah. That's interesting to know. Okay, cool. Okay. Jessica Chastain, yeah, she's got a good voice. I can get that. As far as right now, that's, that's, the only thing that's coming out of this

it was set to be directed by the Soska Twins, but they've since dropped out of the project, so they do not have a director for the movie. Oh, no. Well, that stinks, because I've, like, pretty much everything I've seen that they've done, you know? I've never seen the game show Helvator.

I think you've seen it, right, Brian? Yeah, I enjoy it. I mean... It's not bad for what it is. It's kind of goofy. Yeah, it's good for, like, the Halloween season. Oh, you've seen it, too, Jesse? Yeah, I've seen a little bit of it. What do you think?

I mean, it's good for like that October time. I don't love it, but it gets you in the mood. I mean, it's good for what it is. Hey, it's R2D2 back there, huh? Yeah. All right, like I said, guys, your listeners, we apologize, but it is kind of daddy daycare over here, so you may hear a few random noises. Hey, if someone has a problem with R2, then I think they have a problem with both us.

He should be in the background of every show. He should. And if I can do an R2 voice, I'd have a meat matcham man, but I can't do it. Actually, just mentioning the name R2D2 will probably add us 100 downloads easy, right? Most likely. Any other news items, Brian? Yeah, I got a couple more things here. Robert Eggers, director of the witch, is confirmed to direct a Nassferatu remake.

That should be interesting. I think that's a good, Matt. I finally watched the witch. I think it's a good. What do you think, man? What did you think? I thought it was definitely slow. It was super slow, but it was good.

Mm-hmm. You know? I don't know if I give it like a, I don't know. I'm not ready to give it a number of score. I'll tell you this. Right now, it's one of my top five of the year. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

For horror, me too. Yeah. What do you think, Jesse? I'd say for horror. I don't know. I haven't ranked yet, but it's in my probably, Yeah, top five, I'd say. But you do have a host on your show that comes up from time to time,

and she doesn't want fucking shit to do with this movie, right? Oh, no, and we were supposed to have a big giant debate. I had gotten Nes all lined up because I'm like, I need some backup on this one. And it just fell through, but no, she hate, we, I just, I don't understand why she hates it. Like, she, I don't know, she just, some people just don't like it. It's super slow.

Like, it takes a long time for any. thing to happen. It's a really slow burn, but it's got a lot of tension in it. I think it's super creepy. I said on our show that I don't even know why, but for some reason that movie just made me feel uneasy, even when we were leaving the theater.

Yeah. It's a very uneasy feeling movie. And there was a call back in Warlock to the fat. Drinking the fat. Oh, yeah. It's one of the reasons I love that movie. We'll get into it, but all the folklor references. Yeah.

I really, really enjoyed the witch. There's no doubt, yeah, there's no doubt for me it's in my top five of the year so far. But of course, the year's not a horror, though. Okay. Let's see. A couple more things real quick. Deadpool, too. We talked about it last week.

Tim Miller had left the project. They've already found another director. John Wick director, David Litch. Done. Yeah, that's good. think there's nothing more to be said about that one. Yeah. John Wick's amazing if you haven't seen.

You can have. Probably. Go ahead. Joe Blow directing that thing. I'd go watch it. I would too. And it'll make a mint, too, no matter who's behind the camera. Yeah.

Yeah, absolutely. Ryan Reynolds is going to make that movie awesome. Yep. I mean, if the Twilight movie's made money, then damn near Deadpool better. Deadpool is. Don't go there, man. Don't go there. All right.

All right. That's a sore subject. That is probably the only comparison that's ever been made between Twilight and Deadpool. I'm trying to think of another movie, but I can't think of one that made that big of a splash.

Right. All right, well, that's, you heard it here first, folks. Although I'll throw myself under the bus and admit I do enjoy the first Twilight movie. So you can have that. I'm glad you did, man. I couldn't make it halfway through.

I got to say I watched them all, and they weren't all bad. I make fun of them like everybody else does, but I watch. They're just fun to make fun of. Yeah. Oh, yeah, they're definitely fun to make fun of. If I had a choice, I'd rather watch Taint Light or Twatlight over Twilight. Is that a thing? It probably should be.

It should be. Is Kristen Stewart in it? I'd watch that. I like to turn that American. Last thing. No, what were you going to say? I'm sorry, go ahead. I was just saying, I'd like during that American husband.

was not American Hustle, American Ultra. Yeah, I thought that movie was super cool. She was, like, fine in that. Way under the radar. Yeah. Sorry to keep derail on your show, guys. Yeah, no worse. That's what we do.

Oh, it's fine. It's fine. Yeah, just, one more quick thing. Probably the biggest news from Marvel is they were going to do in humans movie. They've changed it to an ABC TV series.

and it will be filmed completely in iMacs and the first two episodes will be released in iMacs two weeks before the show is going to premiere on TV. What? Is anybody interested in humans series? The iMacs think is what's got me. That's just kind of odd. I'm totally lost here.

Are we in an alternate? Did we go down the wrong string and string theory here and go into an alternate universe or nothing makes any fucking sense? How do you do a TV show in I-Mex? I don't understand it myself. You went and said it off, man. I don't understand it myself.

I'm like, what the hell? This is what they're saying. The show is going to be completely filmed in IMAX. Why? Why? Won't that look weird on a TV? I have no idea what they're doing. because originally

the Inhumans was going to be a movie that was going to be part of their phase four Slate The They have not casted anybody Don't mean like Character wise

They haven't introduced anybody In the Yeah they've They've touched on The humans Plays a big part In the Agents of Shield Right

And it was supposed to lead into the movie Which um was going to get into the actual the royal family of the inhumans and where they came from. And rumor was Vin Diesel was going to play the main character, Black Bolt.

Yeah, he's going to be crude and Black Bolt. Sorry. Yeah, which was going to work out because the character of Black Bolt doesn't he doesn't speak because his power is when he speaks like just the sound of his voice can like level a whole city

right and so I think that's how they were going to work that out but they've since they kept pushing the moot back and now they're going to run with it as a series and I don't know how the whole filming and IMAX thing is going to work mind blown

well that gives me really nothing I don't know what to make out of any of that or is in it or to be excited about it or not Yeah So, but uh Wait,

hold on, hold on, let me, uh, let me, let me, let me, let me,

let me, let me, can I give you guys a theory here? Okay. I think that it's, I think it's possible that what we're going to here is, is, is TV shows are going to start being shown in movie theaters,

at least the premiere. I can see that, yeah. I mean, really. I mean, you can catch them on TV or you can go to the IMAX theater and see it in fucking IMAX and just be amazing. because I know a lot of the Sherlock TV shows on the BBC.

I know they have that thing called Fathom Events where you can go to a movie theater that's local, and a lot of people go there. This way you get a lot of like-minded people that can all kind of hang out together. That is a good idea. Yeah, I think that's what's happening here. Sherlock's is amazing if you guys haven't seen it.

I mean, I love it. The show's going to debut in September, and two weeks before, you will be able to go to the theater to watch the first two episodes. Okay. Well, let's, hey, bring it on, man. I'm game. Let's see what it looks like. All right. That is all the news we have. So new listener, Steve Loblad, says, really enjoying the podcast, was referred here by Kevin Nez. Thanks, Kip.

And Horropia. Great discussion, guys. Horacopia. I've never heard of them. Horacopia. Yeah, who the hell are those guys? Wait a second. And speaking of Kevin, in regards. as to our discussion of possibly going with two different podcast names. He said, don't split up the show, just do whatever you guys want, and if the listeners ain't

down but at, then you tell him two words for them. Suck it. I agree with him on that. You guys just do whatever you want. Yeah, and that sounds like Kevin, right, Jesse? Oh, that's Kevin to a T. He's actually the one that told me to stay away from Last Exorcism, too. So that's, I kind of trust his opinion.

That's why I haven't watched it yet. I kind of agree with him on this one. I think that we should just keep doing what we're doing. The horror returns. Yeah, it seems to be working for you guys. Too complicated to try to split it up. All right. Yeah.

Unless anybody has objections, then, you know, send them our way. And our friend, Art Callie, got a t-shirt from us and says, thanks so much to the big homies at the horror returns podcast for hoax for hooking me up with this sweet shirt. Too much continued success. Love you guys. Thanks, Art. Man, that's really awesome.

I love you too, buddy. Thanks to everyone who reaches out to us. We love the feedback. As always, you can reach us at our Facebook or Podbean page, or you can email us at the horror returns at gmail.com. We love to hear from you guys. All right, cool.

You guys need anything? Just let us know. All right. And speaking of it, of the horror returns t-shirts. We've got a big box of them here that kind of hot off the press from the printer. Brian, do you remember last week we talked about putting a contest together? Yeah, I'm still working on it for something next month.

Unless you had any ideas. So you came about a month-long contest? Yeah. So what was the other prize we were talking about? Yeah, I'm big into collecting figures and stuff, and I got a hold of an extra Freddie Kruger figure from NECA. And I'm thinking about doing some sort of giveaway. That one I'm working on, too. All right, cool.

So, in other words, stay tuned. Yeah, the giveaway for next month, I'm thinking because we're going to do an end of the year best, of, worst of. I'm thinking maybe if somebody can guess what is going to be the overall number one best or worst movie maybe we can do something like that I like it I like it a lot man

I think that's perfect what do you think Jesse is our guest you're kind of you're the outside guy here from our normal podcast group so what are you thinking I think that's a good idea My question as a fellow podcaster is, what is your secret to getting people to actually enter your contests? Because we've had terrible luck with that in the past. We definitely don't have a secret. I mean, I guess, you know, it's just funny, but I think that's a great idea.

I mean, I'm just thinking that I don't even know what your number one will be. Yeah, as far as contests goes, you know, I would have liked a bit. better turnout when we did the, um, we had a giveaway for a Funko Pop, uh, Beatle juice. And, um, I don't know. I guess, you know, just, just, just, just

hit social media. Yeah. As much as you can and just try to get everybody to get involved, but, but I, I, we, you know, for what we, the turnout we got, you know, it was pretty good. Yeah, I think that's a great idea. I mean, if you guys want my opinion, I think that's a good, I,

Good contest. I guess the bottom line here is, look, we're giving away free shit. We're paying for the shipping. You know? We don't give a fuck if you do it through Facebook. We don't give a fuck if you do it through Instagram. We don't give a fuck if you do it through Twitter. Brian, you're our social media guru.

What other ways can people reach us? You can email us at The Horror Returns at gmail.com. I'm pretty sure you can find our individual. Facebook pages through the um through all our social media thing any way you can get a hold of us all right so yeah it's up listeners start thinking about that because we're going to officially announce it next week but it really kind of sounds at least i'm thinking yeah if you if you guys can pick the person who comes closest to pick in our number one between the three of us and our shittiest movie of the year because we're going to have an award for shittiest movie too

that would be If you guys think you can guess that and you come closest I'll probably won't be hard I can guess it right now I know what mine are well I know what my worst is for sure Are you guys doing movies you've just covered on the show Or are you doing like that you've mentioned to it?

I think anything in the year of 2016 Okay like major releases Yeah because like we brought up the witch I wouldn't say the witch is my top five It's definitely my top 10 Yeah I'm telling you right now it's in my top five. Yeah, we didn't get a chance to review that.

Yeah, but guys, it's not like the radio where you have, you know, thousands of people coming in, man. We got like hundreds of loyal listeners. Thanks, guys. But, yeah, you send your stuff in, and you're very likely to win something. All right, cool. So now it's time for our featured attractions. We go on a search for fantastic beasts.

Also, back to 1989 for the Julian Sands movie Warlock. So we'll start out with Warlock, which is our first film that we talk about. Trivia. Director is Steve Minor. Also known for the Wonder Years? What? This is so messed up. There's some fucking weird shit we talk about sometimes.

That's random. As well as Halloween H-2O and Lake Placid. Great. You get the Killer Alligator movie. Have you all seen that? I remember. Years ago, but I don't remember anything about it. I liked H2O, though.

H2O is okay. Isn't that the one where Lori Strode actually got killed? No, that's resurrection. Ah, okay. Where Buster Rhines beats the shit out of Michael, like he's some MMA fighter or something. What a terrible Halloween remakes before Rob Zombie got involved? Yes, there were.

H2O is the one that has her son in it. I figured he plays him. I remember. And I think LOPHs in it. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Well, anyway, he directed it.

This guy. The writer was David Tohey. Also known for, oh, the Riddick films. There you go. Okay. Those are some good fucking movies. Yeah, get down with that. And he also, well,

the top and the bottom here. It is. So, Riddick films as well as Waterworld. I have never seen that the whole way. You're not missing much. It wasn't as bad as I've heard it's not as horrible. Yeah, that's like that. It was, I think it's, it's a right of passage.

You have to watch that one. I'll get right on that. All right, well, so for our trivia, we're going to, we're going to go a little bit dark here. You guys ready? Yeah, I did not know this either until I, when you sent me the thing. That's just, that's messed up. This is fucked up. All right.

In La Range, uh, Saskatchewan in 1995, 14-year-old Sandy Charles told police that he had been contemplating suicide, but a spirit told him to kill someone else. On July 8, Charles and an unnamed eight-year-old accomplice lured a seven-year-old Jonathan Tampinson into a secluded area behind Charles's home and attempted to break the boy's neck. When that failed, they tried to kill Tempton by stabbing him four times in the head and neck with a paring knife. Oh, my God. But when the blade became lodged in the boy's eye,

they beat him with a beer bottle and rock and ultimately suffocated him. They then cut 10 to 15 strips of flesh from Timson's body, boiled it on a stove and allegedly drank it. Timson's body was discovered three days later. In court, lawyers on Charles' behalf argued that he had become obsessed, with the film Warlock, that the murder was based in part

on the premise from the movie that drinking the boiled fat of a virgin can give one the ability to fly. Oh my God. Though Charles claimed he did not drink the boil fat of his victim because he just wanted to stay the way he was.

Regardless, the case brought the issue of violence and movies to the forefront in Charles' native Canada and has reported to have influenced the country's decision to enable parents to use the V-chip to censor violence and cable television. I got to think that's got to be a grasping-as thing for the lawyer more than what actually happened. Yeah, I think so, too.

I mean, there's way worse movies out there than this one. Yeah. Well, because of their ages, Charles was put on trial as an adult, and his accomplice identified in court only by the initial M was not. not charged. In August 1996, Charles was found not guilty by reason of insanity. Oh my God.

Following his trial, he went on to reside at the high security regional psychiatric center in Saskatoon and was briefly relocated to the Saskatchewan Hospital in June 2013, but was transferred back to the

RPC facility that September. And they say us Americans are violent. Yeah, at least he never got out. I mean, in regards to where he is, at least he's somewhere that he can't hurt anybody else anymore. That's crazy. Right. It's kind of like that, uh, the Slender Man thing we were talking about where...

Yeah, those girls, that does remind me that. That's right. Lured the chicken of the wood. Almost exactly the same concept, except a little less violent. And thankfully, she survived. Very fucked up. And the second piece of trivia, screenwriter, David Tui's original conception was that the warlock was going to be a good-natured man,

forced to flee the 17th century, to avoid religious persecution, only to find himself similarly persecuted in the 20th century. After working on that script for two months, he realized it just didn't work and decided to make the character as a villain. I would have liked that script better, I think. Oh, Brian says thank God, and you say you would like it better. Yeah. I would have watched that for sure.

I totally would watch that. Well, this should be a good discussion then. All right. Well, Jesse, our tradition here is our guest always gets to go first. So why don't you tell us what you thought about the movie? And at the end, we rate between a 1 and a 10. And we can use, you know, like decimals. So, you know, 7.5, 8.5, whatever.

At the end of it, or do you mean at the end of me saying what I thought of it? Why don't you just tell us about the movie and your basic thoughts? And then at the end, we'll all round up together and do our... Do you want me to give the plot or like the synopsis? Whatever. Yeah, it's a 30-year-old movie. You can... All right.

So, spoilers are open. Yeah, basically, the plot of this movie, there's a warlock in the, I think 16th century. He's being tried for his crimes. He is able to vanish. to the 20th century, and he's trying to find all the pieces of his grimoire to cause massive destruction. He's pursued by Giles, who is the witch hunter, who originally captured him in the past, and he ends up working with this waitress named Cassandra with a K, as they point out in the show, a few times, to track him down.

I saw this movie for the first time as a kid. I remember reading it, I think at a blockbuster. or something like that, and I've always enjoyed it because I always kind of liked dark fairy tales, and I felt like it had this dark fairy tale feel to it. Julian Sans is

as awesome as the warlock. I feel like he steals every scene he's in. Actually, he is. I thought the acting was really good in this one. Yeah, it was. I mean, Richard Grant, who plays Giles is also really good, I thought. and I didn't realize it was the girl from Footloose. I only knew her as the sister of the Beastmaster.

Right. It's also in this. She's pretty good. But I just, I like everything about the warlock and I like how they tie in the lore of, you know, how to stop a warlock, what his powers is. Like I wish we would have learned,

you guys were talking, we were talking about the witch earlier. I wish they would have gone more into the folklore of witches at the time. Like I love that that was a big point of this movie. All right, Jesse, I've got to ask you, man. So you're talking about the main actress that was in it. Cassandra with a K. Actress's name is Lori Singer.

I want you to visualize right now her voice. Tell me what you think. Tell me what you're thinking, my friend. I would say no, but I've heard things that it should probably be a yes, but the voice just got on my nerves, to be honest. Based on voice alone. Oh, wow. I'll go with a high yes on that one.

I'm voiced alone. I wanted to drown her in the fucking bathtub. Okay, good. I'm not alone then. I'm not alone then. All right. Irritated the shit out of me through the whole goddamn movie. She just sounded like a tough talking girl from the 80s. Like, I don't want to slander anybody, but it just, I didn't like it. No. Yeah. That was my only dark point of the movie. She was just annoying, even especially when she's trying to do that older voice when the

Warlock makes her old. I'm like, oh, dear, you sound terrible. Just stop. Oh, God, she was a fucking... If I looked that bad at 40, I would just fucking commit suicide. I was gonna ask you guys, did she look really bad? Did she look really bad? Oh, dude, she looked like a fucking crone. I figured... Well, I mean, that was...

That was makeup. That was terrible. Terrible. She was hot, but she was definitely... I don't know, it was just her attitude to the whole movie. It was horrible. Her attitude was horrible. Yeah, it was shit.

You're right. I would help you drive. her in the bathtub, even though I don't advocate murder. Absolutely. I would have drowned her ass in that lake and shit. You're that or just tell her to shut up. Be like Blackbolt where she can't speak. It's not a fucking joke.

Shut the fuck up. Any other thoughts, Jesse? I just, this has kind of that nostalgia feel for me just because I saw it when I was so young. It's one that I can always go back to. I just, I really enjoy, like I said, the dark fairy tail aspect to it. That's where we get all our beef from.

was that one we watched? Witchboard? Oh, that's not. People got mad at us for reviewing that so negatively. Yeah, I wasn't mad, but I... I love that movie. I'll defend that movie until the end of the time. Yes, I will defend it until the end of time.

All right. I know it's not a good movie. I just like. It was awful. Let me do this. Let me, if you guys don't mind, let me go out on a limb a little bit here on this one. because I fucking hated Witchboard too. I didn't hate it

until you fucking assholes convince me to lower my fucking score by half a point. Right. Well, the nostalgia aspect, I'm sure when you saw it as a kid, it was awesome. And of course, as our friend Pat is going to point out when he hears this, the Toney Coutines Tiddy's don't hurt.

Well, they definitely don't hurt the movie. This is one of the situations where I need to pull Nez in as my special weapon. Well, all right, let me put it Let me put it to you guys this way. This movie was really good. I really enjoyed it.

And I liked it. It wasn't, I didn't even think it was so much of a horror movie. I thought it was more of an adventure movie. Yeah. You know, and you know, hey, am I the only one who got a Terminator vibe here? You know? But instead of coming from the future, they came from the past.

You know, now that you say that, that makes perfect sense. You know what's the same concept? You know what kind of vibe I got? sort of from the beginning of it. Did you ever say it that He-Man movie? In the Mass? Oh, I hate that. Fuck that movie.

That ruined my cartoon. Okay. Granted, granted, the CGI wasn't the B- Was it even C-G-I, or was it just like Matt Paints? No, no, no. Okay, so it was, like, He-Man mixed with, have you ever seen the series Sleepy Hollow? Yes.

Yes, it was kind of that vibe. And there you go back to. Better than Sleepy Hollow. The fairy tale. Yeah. Yeah, I really enjoyed this movie, guys. I really did. I thought that the acting was super good.

I mean, I thought Richard E. Grant, and that's Hugh Grant's brother, right, Jesse? Oh, I didn't know that, is it? Yeah, that is Hugh Grant's brother. Which one's that? The guy who played the Highlander guy? Giles? Yeah, yeah.

Redthorn or whatever's name? The one that had to pull his own dead body up and pull the papers out of it from his own in a fur quote the whole goddarder that's because he was a highlander he was a good scotsman he just didn't have the accent down pat or no he had to he was he was he was probably my highlight he did a really good hey and speaking of people who wouldn't have belonged in massachusetts at the beginning of the movie that the the main priest or the the main priest guy or whatever the witch hunter the the witch master general i guess he was the older guy at the very very

I swear to God he was a fucking Hasidic Jew. He looked, it's just so fucking Jewish. And I'm like, I don't know if there were too many Jewish. Put that on the high IMDB bloopers page or whatever they call that, where they have like the goofs. That was kind of weird. But you know what? For the most part, I love this movie for what it was. I found it to be an adventure film.

In no way, former fashion, was it horror. I mean, there were a couple of scary elements. It's only horror because he kills the few people, I think. But that doesn't make it horror. I guess so. It's light on it. I mean, it's a light horror. Yeah, and then there were a lot of people I know that were like one of our listeners,

Cynthia Talbot, she's a good, solid listener that... Is she related to Larry? Do what? Is she related to Larry from the Wolfman? I don't know. She may be. You need to ask her, man. But she, I noticed she put something on Facebook where that scene where he bit the gay guy's

tongue out, kind of creeped her out. Like at the beginning. The gay roommate. I thought that was super weird until they said that he was gay. And then I was like, ah, you couldn't tell him by looking. Oh,

man, didn't you're gay or wasn't working, well, that's what I was saying. But like at the, at the very beginning when he did the whole, I, he's showing,

I'm on Scorpio. Yeah, it was pretty clear that he was. Wow, man. This goes past 80s stuff. Right. Oh,

and I loved it when they were on the airplane, and the guy pulls up the cigarette and starts smoking a cigarette. Oh, I know. Right. Yeah, we're back in, It's

It's definitely a little bit dated But uh... Oh yeah I don't think it's dated as much as Uh, uh, uh, at which board, you know what I mean? Right. It's, I think that the acting was Really on point for pretty much everybody in the movie

I didn't like the chick. She irritated the shit out of me the entire movie. No, I could put up with that considering how hot she was, man. I can put up with it. As blind folk can't because we can't look at her all day. We're going on the voice alone. Yeah.

But I mean, I got to say, though, I mean, like, everything that she said was, every line that she had was supposed to be a joke. And most of them weren't that funny. Just cringe-inducing. Yeah, it was really kind of cringeworthy. But she was really my only dark spot in this movie. The rest of it, I mean, you know, you got your. 80s music and the special effects are definitely dated and and stuff like that. But I'm,

if you look past that, I mean, because it's a movie that was made in 89. What are you going to do? If you look past that, it was, it was, it was pretty decent, you know? She was, she was really my only dark spot. And she was your basic, like, 80s tough chick role. Like, she played it well. Yeah, I don't, I don't care for those characters. Yeah, 80s tough chick role. And she was sort of the comic relief in what was otherwise a pretty serious movie and so I guess

I understood why they had her there I just wasn't sympathetic towards her like she kind of fell out of place to points too I was ready for her to die like when she got me too when she got her she got some sort of curse that aged her 20 years in a night right

and so she was 40 and she was super irritated about that because she started out 20 and then she was 40 when she woke up. And she was so appalled about this whole thing. And then she was 60 the next day. And then it became serious

like she's going to die. And you sort of tried to sympathize with her. But I was like, nah, fuck that bitch. If she's going to hang like that, let her die. Damn, dude. This bitch was putting on lipstick, driving on the road,

almost ran somebody over, and then honked at them because they were in the fucking way. This bitch, this bitch, This is what's wrong with America. And there's women out there like that now, too. All I know is I kind of wish you guys were further along in Black Mirror. Because I looked at the costumes they were wearing in this, and I think of that episode San Junipero in the new Black Mirror,

it's like they really did fucking nail the 80s look in that Black Mirror episode. It also irritated me that this guy didn't have shoes on for the whole goddamn movie. That was stupid. what a dumb ass Find some shoes along the goddamn way, dude You're a witch Conjure some shoes Oh yeah

They were always putting shit on his toes Huh Hey Brian Have you put in your two cents worth yet No I was Waiting everybody to get this saying This is one of my favorites From when I was a kid

There's a lot of memorable scenes for me Like you guys said Him not wearing shoes We went to get the scene with the, I thought it was really cool with the, when they were nailing the nails into the footprints. Right.

I thought that was pretty cool right there. And did some reading on, on the scene with the, with the lady that was channeling the, the dark lord or whatever he was trying to channel. Oh yeah, Mary Warren. She's been in a lot of horror and sci-fi movies.

Yeah, they've actually, I did some research. There was a completely different scene film for that. what which yeah I guess she was supposed to tear her shirt off and the eyes were yeah the eyes were gonna be the nipples that he cuts out that would have been wow creepy sexy we really missed out on that didn't we yeah and I guess they had filmed it and they did a test screening and I guess the audience found it to be comical and a little over the top so So they re-shot it. And a couple more things I found out about the film. We were going to actually, they were going to actually film the death of the kid

that he took the fat from. Oh, yeah? And they thought that was a little overboard too. That probably was a little much. For 89, yeah. The way that they left it was kind of creepy, I thought. What did you say, Jesse? I said for 89, it kind of was.

I think the knowing what's happening but not seeing it even made it more creepy. Yeah, I thought so too. Yeah, but overall, you know, this is one of my favorites. You know, I've been waiting to do this one. I think Lance originally, before we even started doing the show, we were talking about doing this one with The Witch. Right. And we just never got a chance.

That would have made more. Yeah, so. And this would have been a perfect, a perfect one with the witch. But you got to get in where you fit in, right? Right, Jesse. Yeah. Right. Yeah.

I don't know much this one had to do with Harry Potter. it's the only thing like i could i don't know why but the only thing i could think of i'm like i kind of want to talk about warlock so it has bad to whatever works man yeah but overall you know you guys pretty much said it you know this is a a classic for me as far as like 80s movies and it's um it holds up for me i think julian sans was a badass in this movie and i'm a little disappointed jessie that you said the movie, the sequel's a little, I guess a little iffy. Yeah, he's good in it, but it's like,

part of it's him taking out people, I forget what he's looking for, maybe the same thing, I can't remember. Part of it's him taking out people, killing people. Then it goes to this, like, teenage kid coming into his power is going to be like the magician to stop him. And it just felt like some totally different movies.

Yeah, it has nothing to do with the first one. The only thing that it has to do with, it's the same warlock, obviously, but not. The storyline's not the same now. Yeah, I forget all. It's been years. I don't feel like revisiting it, but it's supposed to be the same character somehow.

Okay. Now, wait a minute. Philip just asked an interesting question. And not only did he die, but he was fucking burned. His skeleton turned to ashes. And then the fucking Highlander put his fucking boot on his head and crushed his skull. I don't remember how. Can there be other movies, Jim?

I don't know. I forget. I just know that he comes back and it's supposed to be the same person. I don't remember. Maybe it's back in time. Well, Brian, you're our... No, it's set now, sadly. Brian, you're our sequel completest and our prequel completest. Have you seen these yet? No, I haven't. I have them. I didn't get a time to... I didn't get the time to watch them, but... Is there three or four? As far as I know, there's three. The third one has a completely different actor.

Yeah. Just like Wishmaster, I remember they had different actors in those ones. Yeah, so. Bill and come back and save them. Ted. Don't be dead. So, yeah, I couldn't, I wouldn't be able to say. I haven't seen them yet.

Right. All right. Well, fair enough. You guys are ready to move on to scores? Let's do it. All right, Jesse. Hit us up. I give this a 7.5.

This is a classic, as Brian. say classic 80s. I grew up with this. Yeah. All right. How do you justify that, dude? Why do you give it a 7.5? I just, I like everything.

I like all the scenes with the warlock. I like the folklore aspect and the Jow's chasing him down. I just, the whole entire story I just really like, as I said before, the dark fairy tale feel. The only thing I didn't like was Beast Master's sister. and she was my favorite part but then again you know I could see her she's

trust me dude she the voice is uh oh yeah I believe you in my opinion the voice of Pamela Anderson would mislead you well in the 80s or 90s

right but uh this one hmm I don't know what is hot don't give me wrong I don't know what it was I liked her a lot

I had to keep her up I like that I like that mini skirt in this movie I find that with like, I don't know what it is with 80s, like a lot of the women back then the voices, like I didn't care for a lot of them. I don't know what it was or why, but it's just something I've noticed watching tons of 80s horror movies. Interesting.

I thought that her miniskirts and that kind of stuff is part of what dated the movie because she was so fashion-centric. Would you take those off when you? You put her in the tub? I don't know. I don't know that I would really care. She kind of irritated me that much. Real quick, real quick, I'm sorry to cut you up. What was going on with her hair?

Was that a wig? I don't know. It was weird. Her younger version. Well, I mean, her older version was a wig, but I think the younger was her actual hair, dude. I think that was like an age that sprized out. Say, I'm older than you guys.

Remember, you guys are both in your twilight. 20s, harkening back to a previous podcast of Kevin. We'll go with that. Yes, I forgot. No, dude, I remember that age, and I didn't remember it looking that cheesy, but I guess we did look that cheesy back in the fucking 80s, you know? 80s. I mean, holy shit, it was a whole different world, man.

I didn't realize how much we've changed since then until I saw this movie. But, no, dude, I think that was a real hair, man. I grew up in the 80s, my 30s, by the way. Yeah, same way. So I feel like I should have remembered this movie being from 1989, and I didn't. So when I watched it, this is the first time that I've seen it. I didn't have any nostalgia sort of feels to it. But I think that the acting was really on point.

It was almost overdramatic. Acting was good, though. Yeah, from everybody except this chick who irritated the shit. Yeah, I think Jill. Julian Sands was fucking dead on. Yeah. Oh, he was the perfect mixture of evil,

but also kind of like, he could kind of charm you a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He scared me as a kid. An 80s star, you know? Yeah, he had everybody wanting to bang him, like, early in the movie the way everybody was looking at him. You mean other than just the gay guy?

Yeah, because I believe the, the psychic lady was looking him up and down. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, it was like when she started being, possessed or whatever or pretending like she was possessed like she was having an orgasm, you know? Tilly cut her fucking eyeballs. Oh, I thought that too.

Yeah, the orgasm thing? Yeah, I was like, whoa, what is going on here? Tilly cut her fucking eyeballs out. That's what you called the ghostess with a moses right there, huh? But no, I think that the acting was really on point. I think the story was really good. I do I kind of want to draw attention to

There's kind of a little bit of a controversy with Harry Potter stuff Like I looked up before I took the small children To see the new Fantastic Beast movie Whether or not it was appropriate for them You know not that I care too much but as long as they're going to sit through it and not scream right yeah you're you hit it Jesse

you hit the nail right on the head there man and uh but there there's there's a sort of a Christian sentient that says you know that the the the witchcraft thing and they're very opposed to that and um

I thought that that played through in this one and I kind of wish that they had gone with the other story a little bit. But I still think it was good, and I'm going to give it a 6.5. Not too bad. No, not too bad at all, really. Especially considering how dated it is

and that that chick still irritated the shit out of me. Gotta say, man, the whole movie, I was like, God, why is she talking again? Well, she didn't irritate me at all as far as her original look. Yeah. I fell in love with her when I was young. If she's standing there, I'm fine with it. It's just when she opens her fucking mouth.

Right, when she opens her mouth. I got you. But I'll tell you what, I'll tell you guys what did bother me, is when she turned 40 and she looked like she was 80. And then she turned 60 and she was 120. She's like, the gripkeeper. Yeah, you know what they thought of ages back then because that was just messed up. Yeah, that was messed up. But, no, I would say at the end of the day, the acting was really, really good.

I loved the way that it was like a good adventure movie. I like the fact that you had a bad guy and a good guy. I enjoyed that scene on the train. That really, I mean, my heart really was kind of racing when she was trying to catch him, when he was going on the train and she was trying to get that bracelet from him. And I was like, is she going to get it? Is she going to get it? I thought it was a good movie overall.

Yeah. And I'm right with you, Philip. I give it a 6.5. So it was definitely way more good than bad. In fact, it was probably like two-thirds good. Way better than which board. Oh, in my opinion, sure, for sure. But what do you think, Brian?

I am going to give it a 7.5. This, like I said, this is a classic for me. This is definitely a movie that cannot be made now. This movie was completely 80s. Oh, yeah. And go back to the airport scene. when they're just bringing all their weapons on board. Oh, that's right.

That's definitely a pre-9-11 movie. Like, walking along with this giant fucking spear. Yeah, all you have to say is it's a family heirloom, and they're perfectly fine with that. That would not work now. That was weird that he was walking down the street with it, much less getting on an airplane. What do you think, Jesse?

Yeah, you could not say, you could not say, I couldn't walk in with one of these samurai swords that I'm hanging on my wall and be like, this is a Bollinger heirloom. It's a compass. That was fucking hilarious. I mean, pre-9-11 to say the least, right? Yeah, a little bit.

Yeah, I would have gave it a higher score, but there is a couple things that don't hold up. his flying scenes in the movie are amazingly bad. I don't remember him. Yeah, that was pretty rough. Well, the special effects in general are super 80s. Yeah, they work with what they had. And you guys might have talked me down a little bit as far as the actress, Cassandra Wooda K.

That might have took my score down a little bit. But overall, this is a movie I can rewatch over and over. you got to watch it's a fun movie you got to watch time me I was like really that's what you told the cop

it was it was a fun movie though guys you got to admit I mean the special effects were horrible let's not mince words here dude it's 80s what are you gonna do you're right they're 80s and they have they used what they had let me put it to you this way

can I put it in perspective look okay Jurassic Park came out just four years after this movie oh wow I don't think they had Jurassic Park's budget. 3, right, guys? Damn, that's a good point. Am I right?

Okay, look, the special effects for the magical stuff and the flying was, was terrible. But, like, the special effects for, like, cutting people's fingers off and things like that, actually were pretty good. Okay, for four years before Jurassic Park. But they didn't have the budget the Jurassic Park hauled. Yeah, that's a good point. they wouldn't have the special effects workshop or the budget well that's true jesse and and way to be devil's advocate man you're right and you know what like i said i did give it a 6.5 which for me is super high dude so i mean i

love the story the script was great yeah i like the adventure aspect of it i do not consider this a horrid no i really don't think no i don't either i kind of hate that the the the the witch thing was like he was, witches are bad right. Devil, you know what I mean? That kind of thing. Yeah, kind of reminiscent of Salem a little bit. Yeah, but aside from that, well, which is a great show by the way, Jesse, if you haven't seen it.

I don't even know if it's reminiscent. Yeah, I need to watch it. I think it was just like, uh, almost propaganda at that point. Have you seen... We kind of get that in our next movie too, though, a little bit. Jesse, have you seen Salem? Uh, parts of it. I've seen, like parts of the first season. I like it. I just need to catch up. That's a story of my life. I need to catch up. Well, it ain't nothing until Lucy Lawless joins the cast, my friend. Okay. Yeah, you're in for

some, you're in for a treat. I haven't seen the new season, is it out? The third season's going on right now. Yeah? Yeah, it's been out for, I think it's in like it's third or fourth week right now. I gotta watch it. Another point about special effects, being blind, I don't have to see how bad they are. So I think I'm saved. Yeah, they were pretty bad. All right. Fair enough. So we've, so we We've all given our score? Yep. All right, not too bad then. Yeah.

All right, we're ready to move on? Yeah. All right, so for our next feature film, this is the brand new Fantastic Beast, and where to find them. Director is David Yates, also known for several of the Harry Potter movies, as well as upcoming sequels to this one. They've already got four sequels to this movie plan. Why not, dude? Harry Potter franchise, man. You're not going to go wrong with that one.

No. Hey, Jesse, do you want to take a hazard a guess on who wrote the screenplay for this? I believe J.K. Rolling. You are correct, sir. Which is a good move, I think. What does she best known for? Hmm, the Harry Potter series. And some random crime novel that I don't remember the name of.

Yeah, she wrote all that stuff. Right. So, Jesse, you're saying she actually wrote the books. Yes, she would. was the writer of the Harry Potter novels. Okay, and where are you when it comes to the actual books? I have read the first four and a half. Like, I know what happens, but I've only read the actual first one.

Are the books a whole lot different than the movies? I've never read the books. No, they're not, but they're kind of, they're good and have that magic feeling kind of on their own, so I'd recommend reading them, but they're not much different. Yeah, I kind of wanted to read them to my kids. They'd be perfect for that. Yeah. Additional trivia.

Within the Harry Potter universe, Newt Scamander's Fantastic Beast and Where to Find Them was first published in 1927 and became a massive bestseller, as well as an approved textbook at Hogwarts. By the mid-1990s, when the Harry Potter series is set, it was in its 52nd edition. Scamander also has the distinct honor

to have his own chocolate frog card. I have no fucking idea what that means, but you guys do. You haven't seen the movies? J.K. Rout, not a one of them, including this one. J.K. Rowling, wrote this book in 2001, and this is actually pretty commendable, with most of the profits benefiting the charity comic relief, over 80% of the cover price of each book sold, goes directly to poor children and various places around the world. That's really cool.

That's very cool. Matt Smith, do you guys know who he is? He would have been perfect in this. Jesse, tell our listeners who Matt Smith is. He is the only Doctor Who that I've ever watched the whole series of. I believe he was the 11th Doctor. But if I'm wrong, someone's yelling at me right now. No, no, no, you're right, and he is really fucking masterful at that role, isn't he?

Yeah, and this character's kind of bumbling. He would have been perfect. I mean, Eddie Redmayne does good, but he'd have been perfect, does it. as it as well. Well, let me tell you who else was considered. You ready for this one? Nicholas Holt, who is. I know the name, but what is he? Oh, he's, uh, he plays Beast in the new X-Men movie.

Oh, okay. Oh. And what what else, what else was he in, Brian? I can see that. Uh, what was that? Uh, warm bodies, the zombie movie? Oh, I bet I'm the only person on the show that liked that. I didn't mind it. Okay. I figured I'd be on an island by myself. Yeah, Nicholas

Hold is a goddamn good actor. He would have been good then. Yeah, very good. So, in other words, they had three really, really good actors to choose from. I really like the guy that they actually choose to play the part, too. I think he pulled it out. Yeah, me too.

So they were considered, and then, of course, Eddie Redmayne was cast. Serius Ronan. Brian, you know who that is, right? Do you remember Hannah? Yes, yes. That's the only thing I've seen her in.

What's that? That's the only movie I've ever seen her in. Oh, no, you've seen her in more, believe me. Okay. Do you know it or not, you have. Trust me. She's very active, dude. Okay. Dakota Fanning, Kristen Stewart, we're going back to the highlight stuff here.

And Lily Simmons were all considered for the role of Queenie before Allison Sudo was cast. So, again. horrible I think. You think so, well, guess what? You get to speak your mind because you're our guest, so you go first. I really enjoyed this movie. I like that I love the new character,

how he's kind of bumbling. He's not like one of these, oh, I'm so sure of myself, Wizards. He's kind of all over the place. He makes mistakes. He's not perfect. I love all the different creatures, beasts that we get to see, and how they all kind of have a different,

sort of power. I like the supporting characters. I liked Queenie a lot. I do not think Kristen Stewart would have been good at that role. She just doesn't fit it in my opinion, but this is a great movie, I thought. I didn't. I mean, I haven't watched all the Harry Potter movies,

but I know the basic story. I know everything, and I like how they kind of built upon the existing universe, and I really am interested to see where they go, with this whole, I feel like they're leading towards a wizard war between the two factions. And I love the 1920s setting. I liked how when they went into the club, they had the female lounge singer singing a song about a unicorn losing its horn.

I thought that was a great little touch. And I was just really entertained by this. I thought it was a really good movie. Philip, what did you think, man? I liked it. I thought it was really long. It did feel long, you're right. Yeah, I wish that it had been maybe, you know, 30 minutes shorter.

But I liked that they had all the different, the fantastic beasts. I thought that that was super cool and kept things kind of interesting. And the storyline was good. I like the characters. I like the little surprise character ending. I'm sure we'll get more into that later. I thought it was really good. I don't think it was as good as the rest of the Harry Potter series,

but it may be a good beginning to something different. I really love the actor that played Newt, and I think that he was kind of the highlight of the thing, aside from the Fantastic Beast. So yeah, no, I thought it was good. I appreciated it, definitely. You were saying about the length. I wonder if wrong, rightly or wrongly they thought,

oh, we have to have a big similar length for the other Harry Potter movies when in reality it didn't need to be. No, I don't think they had enough story for it to be long. It's like they have to hit that two-hour mark or it's not a big blockbuster or something, it feels like. Yeah. Well, you know, I mean, I guess two hours standard length, a movie. How long was this one? It just felt

long. Yeah, I'm thinking, was it like two hours and 20 minutes or something like that? I'm not positive. Yeah, I thought it was like well over two hours and two hours and 20 minutes was too much, man. They should have cut some stuff out, I think. Yeah, I agree. What do you think, Brian?

I really enjoyed this movie. I think if I wouldn't have seen the Harry Potter movies this week, I wouldn't have appreciated as much as I did. Yeah. I enjoyed all the actors in it. I really enjoyed the design of all the creatures.

I thought they were fun. Yeah. And I'm not really into all the magic stuff, but, you know, all the movies we've been watching in the past, you know, a few weeks. I'm starting to get into it. And I took my daughter to this one, and, you know, she thought it was fun. I do agree It probably could have been 30 minutes shorter

Yeah And but overall I enjoyed the movie When we get in the spoilers I really Really enjoyed How they swarved us with the reveal at the end Oh yeah And we'll get into that

We'll get into that Yeah When he popped up I was like whoa Yeah And I may have heard that he was in the movie But I had no idea they've got a big name actor in this movie.

They don't show them at the very end. Yeah, we'll get to that where I said they swerved us. So we'll get into that in spoilers because I was not expecting that at all. And, you know, I thought that, man, what's his name? No, not newt. The Irish guy. Colin Farrow. Colin Farrow.

Colin Farrell. Colin Farrell. Colin Farrell was great. Oh, he's a great actor. He was in the show. I thought he did really great in this. He's like your, yeah, he was great.

Yeah, I think, I think he's a great actor. I just think sometimes he's in shitty movies. Yeah. Sometimes he's just crazy. I really regret not having seen this now. Colin Farrell's in it? Yeah, Colin Farrell's in it? Yeah, he's fucking awesome.

But by the way, listeners, the reason I haven't seen it, I went to, I actually had intentions to go see it at 2.30 in the afternoon on Friday. I get to the theater at like 225. It's fucking sold out. That's crazy. Fucking afternoon. No, that doesn't surprise me at all. That's amazing.

So this has got to be a big movie. I had to buy my tickets early this morning. Harry Potter fans are big, man. I didn't know they were so goddamn rabbits, man. It made, this is almost Star Wars-esque. It is, you're right. It made, I think, $29 million on Friday alone. Yeah.

Wow. I had no idea. Yeah, another actor I thought did a great job in this was Ezra Miller. I didn't realize that was him until I looked it up. Yeah, with his weird haircut. He had a weird bowl cut on his head. But I thought he, yeah, that's going to be our flash in the movies. That's barebone, huh? Yes.

Oh, that's Flash from the, okay, I see what you're talking about. Okay. Oh, from the DC Expanded Universe. I was a little... Well, we'll get into that later. I was a little weird with what happened now. Ah, he's going to be in Justice League and the Flash. Okay, so y'all...

Are you talking about how he... His character in the end or just overall? Okay. I see what you're... Interesting. Interesting. Okay. Damn, I should have seen this movie, guys.

Yeah, Lance, I think you should check this out. It was good. You are pissing me off now. God damn it. They had a lot of big names. John Voight was in this movie. Who was he? I didn't realize he was in it. Is he still alive?

He was, uh, oh, I can't say. He ran the newspaper. Oh, okay. No shit. He was actually, not to talk politics, but he was actually here campaigning. Believe it or not, in my little town. Really? Oh, really?

Yes. The baker, Dan. What the fuck? Yeah, he was great. He was a great character. Holy shit. Yeah. He was hilarious

He was awesome He was the perfect comic relief He was great Oh and he's in another movie We're going to review in a couple of weeks Fanboys Oh Isn't he in the rogue

Spoiler alert Spoiler alert Spoiler alert When we do Rogue 1 We're going to do that as our As our earlier movie I love this guy

Like I want to hang out with him Isn't he in Skow Island too? I can't believe I miss this movie guys Is he in Skow Island or Tell me, man. Am I wrong? I don't think he's in Scholarland. Okay, I don't know why I thought of it.

Pull it up real quick. But yeah, you need to see this. This movie was really good. Oh, wow. Okay, I'm convinced now. I think I'm out of my mind. I don't think he's in it. Never mind.

No, he's not in it. Okay. Are you all ready for scores? Yeah, we, because I think a lot of us want to get into spoilers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, spoiler. Spoiler alert.

All right, who goes first? I think Jesse went for it. All right. I really enjoyed this. As I said, I love how it's an expansion to the Harry Potter universe. I'm really all into the story. I want to see where they go with the whole Wizard War and everything. I'm going to give this an 8.

I love the characters. That's high, dude. Yeah, the character is the comic relief. I just, I really enjoyed this. Holy crap. I mean, you can't get much higher than that, huh? No, I didn't know what I'd get. I mean, I wasn't going into it.

I was like, oh, I like Harry Potter, but I'm not a Harry Potter not, but this really, I really like this. I'm going to give it an eight. So what adds up to give it an eight for you, man? All the stuff with the different beasts, I love that, how they were all defined and they had their own little things going on. All the characters I thought were vividly drawn. There was no stock characters. Everybody was unique. the acting was great and just had that magical feeling that you don't get too often with a lot of movies nowadays

I was really all in for it All right, fair enough man, I think that I think you're pretty on point with that I'm gonna give it a I'm gonna get a 7.5 I think it was really good I really want to give it an 8

you know. It was just a little bit long. Yeah, I can see that. Man, that's really my only gripe. I think that the casting is great. The acting is great. The special effects were awesome. I loved the fantastic beast.

I love that they made that a center point of the movie. And I was a little worried that they weren't going to have enough, like, of the animal stuff in there. And not only do they have the animal stuff in there, but they had the animal relationships in there, which were really cool. kind of made me think of like me and my dog. I had the same thought. Yeah. And then they had the whole little alternate universe in the suitcase that were in the briefcase that was super cool.

Oh, you're starting to spoil a little. I love that. Well, I don't think that's necessarily. That's not really a spoiler, no. Yeah. I thought that that aspect of it was really awesome. I thought it was a really good movie, man. Like even just going on the review itself.

Like I want to give it a higher review. But I got to stick with the 7.5 just because I think it was just too long. That's really my only gripe. All right, Brian, you want to bring it home for us, man? Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and give it an eight. I had a lot of fun with this movie. And like I said earlier, if I would have never, if I would have never watched the Harry Potter movies,

I don't think I would have appreciated as much. I thought the cast was phenomenal in this. Yeah. And I'm very interested to see where they go from here on out since they announced that there's going to be five total. Yeah, me too. Especially with the new character. But when we get into, yeah, when we get into spoilers, I also have an issue with the Ezber Miller character. So I think we should just go ahead and get into the spoiler.

All right. But that being said, This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. You've been fucking warned. This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. You've been fucking warned. This is a motherfucking spoiler. Okay.

Spoiler to, course. Yeah, Philip, you said you had an issue with the way Ezra Miller's character ended. Oh, right. So, I thought it was kind of weird that they just killed him off and then ignored it. You know? Yeah, I felt that they went the way of most Marvel villains go where they kind of built it up. Yep, I agree. And that I probably should have included in my review.

It was kind of anticlimactic. Nothing really happened. Like, I was almost waiting for that dude to become Voldemort, which may still happen. That's what I was thinking, too. There was a little bit of a black smoke from the, what do you call it? it? Oh, I can't even remember what they called him. That made him know how he lost his body. Yeah, they built it up like he was so powerful that because he was supposed to die.

He was never supposed to make it past age 10. Right. I think that's who we will. I think we are going to see him. Well, that is who it's going to turn into his support. They kind of billowed out after the whole wreckage. Yeah. And I think they have to do something with him because they sort of just killed him off.

And then it was like, okay, this kid's dead. Oh, well. You know what I mean? And they're really interested anymore. It ended so fast. And then I thought, okay, okay, I was like, okay, now we're going to get into Colin Farrow. This is where the big end battle scene is going to happen. And that kind of ended real quickly.

Right. But I will say it went, this is where I was saying, they swerved us because earlier in one of our episodes we reported that they casted Johnny Depp. See, and I thought, and I remember you're showing him. Yeah. Yeah. They told, they had announced that he was going to be in the sequel to this movie. And I thought it was really cool how they revealed him in this movie. Yeah.

So wait, that's who he shapeshifts into? Yeah. Yes. Which kind of. told me that. Which kind of sucks for Colin Farrell that he's, I guess, won't be in the sequels. Yeah, because he was really good.

Yeah, I thought he was really good because he played, um, sort of a, uh, an American political figure in the magic world, you know? Yeah. And then I, I, I think that when they, uh, when they,

they shapeshifted him into, uh, uh, Johnny Depp that, you know, he was supposed to be the fanatical guy that they were talking about the whole time that wanted the magic separated from the real world, but they wanted to be out in the open. And I thought that was really cool. It kind of sucks that he only had like a half a scene. But it definitely opens it up for the sequel.

Yeah, I'm looking up. A big bad, bad guy for the next couple movies. I'm looking up Johnny Depp's character. Grindlewald. Yeah. He is, they say he is the second most dangerous villain only to Baltimore. Right. Well, there's only two stories in the Harry Potter universe.

The thing that surprised me, this isn't really spoiler, but I should have said it during my review. I wasn't, I mean, I expected to like this, but I wasn't expecting to, not be able to wait for a sequel. Like, I want to see where this goes. Right. And I didn't expect to care quite that much. Yeah, they kind of left you with a cliffhanger while wrapping it up. I thought that that's a good way to do it, you know?

Yeah. And another thing I enjoyed was they really touched on the differences between how, I guess, wizards and witches are in England than they are in America. I like that, too. Even the terminology for human in America, it's what they call them nomadges. Yep. Right. And of course, in their muggles.

Yeah, I really like that. Yeah, I thought it was a cool separation. And you even had a little bit of school rivalry between him and Tina saying that he said Hogwarts is better and she said the American school. Like, I even like that little touch. Yeah. I thought that was cool, too. All right, so I don't mean to interrupt guys, but I haven't seen this one. But Brian, can I ask you this?

Do we have a stupid people segment for this movie? Oh, you know what? I think I'm going to leave it alone for this one. I really like this one. We'll wait for next week, I'm sure, right? See, I can't think of anybody that did anything really ridiculous. you know. I mean, we could have gone with the stupid people segment with the other movie. Cassandra with the K.

Yeah. Absolutely. You know, driving, putting lipstick on and trying to run somebody over. There we go. We'll throw her in there. Yeah. That's my stupid person. But the Fantastic Beast thing, I think, no, I mean, there's really no stupid people. There's people with wrong beliefs, I think.

Yeah. And they definitely put it, I mean, it's based in the 1920s. And so in the Americas, they have different rules than in the UK. And there's a whole movement of these people are witches and we need to kill them and I'm going to go out and protest every day, you know? Why does me the X-Men mutants thing? Yeah, very X-Men mutants thing. and it's kind of how the bad guy came about in this movie. So there's that, but aside from that, I mean, there's really no stupid people.

Did anybody catch Ron Perlman in the movie? What? You know what? I thought I heard his voice, but I don't remember who he said. Yeah, he was the little, I guess he owned a little nightclub, the little goblin gangster. I heard that voice. I'm like, wait a minute. So Hellboy showed up, huh?

Yes. Yes, allegedly 2020 presidential candidate, Ron Borman. Right. Yeah, him and Kanye West and the Rock, huh? Oh, what a year that's going to be. I know who I'm going to? I'm going to the Rock all the way. Okay. Yeah.

Does that not remind you of idiocracy? No, this election this year, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm just saying. This is the horror returns. We do not talk politics here. And I'm not saying. that I wouldn't vote for the Rock because that dude's pretty awesome

but like okay you put like macho Camacho he put a little wig on him with a big necklace You know what? We don't talk politics We are straight into idiotic I have a politics call me I'm gonna let you talk Hey Donny ain't running so I'm gonna let you talk

Jesse I'm gonna let you talk but hold on hold on I have to tell you this year reminds me of idiocracy I hate to say that I knew to see that movie. Well, it's definitely headed in that direction. Your turn, Jesse.

I was just going to say, I'm going to run for president, too. Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah. The president of the United States, yeah. In 2020, baby, yeah. Coming back to life. If there was ever a macho man section, it would be right now. I'm going to tell you what, brother.

Come on, tell us what it's like in heaven, macho man. Well, we're just sitting here watching the election results. We watch the election results and watching, you know, the transition. We're just shaking our heads. And I just want to drop an elbow on everybody. So, macho, what does B think about the election results? She hasn't seen much about the election because we've been busy, but she's kind of sad. So what are you going to do to her?

I haven't decided yet. We're going to run the Smackdown in 2020. She's going to, oh God. I wonder who macho man's running mate should be. I don't know. We need to figure it out, Brian. Yeah, we need to figure that out. Obviously.

That's true. Come on, Brian. I'm listening, man. You got any ideas? Or Hulk Hogan, one of the other. Oh, it's got to be Hulk Hogan. You got to get the Megat. You got to get the Megapower's back together.

Mega powers back together. Mega Power is going to sweep the nation. to take over the country and make it great again, yeah. What about Rowdy? I'm going to tell you what, brother. What about Rowdy, Roddy Piper? Oh, that guy. He could be my press secretary.

Well, you know what? Let me tell you something, macho. He came here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. And you know what he's all out of? Bubblegum. He's all out of popular votes. He's all out of popular votes. One the day. I'm gonna take that electoral college and put it on its ass

Drop an elbow on the electoral college I don't even I would tell you guys the story I don't even know how we came up with that I don't even know how I came up with Masha Man from Heaven I don't know but it's great dude that's probably my favorite part of your show dude I'm glad

I look forward to that every week every week I can't can't wait to hear what my two men's going to say from heaven. The funniest thing is, I don't know, I never think about it beforehand. Like, I don't know what I'm going to say. I just kind of go with it. Yeah, that might fuck it up if you did, right? Yeah, I think planning it out would fuck it out.

That's when the best material comes out. All right. Well, we've had a lot of fun, guys. Are you all ready to sign out? Sure. Do it. Yep. Anybody else have anything they really want to say before we go into the outro?

You need to see Fantastic Beasts. I know where to find them. Yes, really love it. Yeah, we all know where to find them now. They're in the book. As always, we want to thank you for listening to another episode of The Horror Returns. We'd love to hear your feedback and ideas. As Philip said earlier, you can always reach us at the horror returns at gmail.com.

For the up-to-the-minute news, reviews, and interviews, visit our Facebook page at www.com. forward slash the horror returns. You can find us on Podbean at thehorrorreturns.podbean.com. Also look for us on iTunes and if you like what you hear please rate us and review us although you may want to wait a week

because I think we got a contest coming out next week from what Brian said. Oh, right. And you can actually win some shit. So actually don't write us and review us this week on iTunes. Yes, do it. No, wait until next week.

Leave to review. Damn it, wait till next week. Leave two reviews. Do it under a different name. All right, there you go. But it is a good way for us to get the numbers up and continue to bring you guys bigger and better stuff. And listen to Horocopia.

Next week, we will be reviewing Scare Campaign and also the British miniseries Dead Set. What the fuck is that? That's a great show. You're going to find out. I'm going to find out. So, and this is where you come in, Jesse. If you remember how we end it,

Until the horror returns again. Good night, yeah. Oh, yeah.