The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #255: Cemetary Man (1994) Commentary

Episode Date: April 13, 2021

This week, as promised, we finally start paying back our Patrons who donate $5 a month or more with a special commentary. Lars has us check out 1994's Cemetary Man (or Dellamorte Dellamore if you prefer). Cool of the Week includes The Father, Raya and the Last Dragon, and Them. We shine the spotlight on the Dead Meat YouTube Channel, featuring it's fourth anniversary. And we get feedback from The Sawyer Massacre - TCM fan film, Jason Gorton, Taylor Feeheley, Matt Wood, and Danny Bennett. THANKS FOR GETTING US UP TO 2,000 FOLLOWERS ON TWITTER! And of course, thanks for listening! The Horror Returns Website: https://thehorrorreturns.com THR YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/@thehorrorreturnspodcast3277 THR Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thehorrorreturns THR Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thehorrorreturns/ Join THR Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1056143707851246 THR X: https://twitter.com/horror_returns?s=21&t=XKcrrOBZ7mzjwJY0ZJWrGA THR Instagram: https://instagram.com/thehorrorreturns?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= THR TeePublic: https://www.teepublic.com/user/the-horror-returns SK8ER Nez Podcast Network: https://www.podbean.com/pu/pbblog-p3n57-c4166 E Society Spotify For Podcasters: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/esoc E Society YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCliC6x_a7p3kTV_0LC4S10A Music By: Steve Carleton Of The Geekz

Hi, this is Fiona Duref, and you are listening to The Horror Returns. Greetings victims. For those of you delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify, goal, welcome. You have found the place where the horror returns. Listeners beware. This podcast contains major plot spoilers and the foulest of language. Join us in celebrating the old and the new, the best, and the worst in horror. Welcome back, one and all to the horror returns. Lance and with me as always my co-host Brian and Phillip what's up guys

you know we're doing a special shout out this way that we're finally getting around to it of course every Patreon patron of any amount is greatly appreciated and we will do the Patreon pick show no matter what your your level but if you do a slightly higher level of five dollars or more we actually give you a chance to do a commentary, and we've been promising some of these for probably over a year. So I guess it's with great pleasure that we announced. We're finally doing our very special, our very first special commentary, and this goes out to Lars from Denmark.

So Lars, thank you so much, dude. You've been one of our very first patron patrons, right, Brian? Isn't he the first? He's got to be like the first or second. I think so, yeah. Yeah. Fan of the show for a long time. He's a special one.

Yeah, the Vikings took over. There you go. All right, so we'll skip headlines. I guess we're going to skip headlines in trailers tonight, but might as well go around with Cool of the Week, and I think we have a little bit of feedback, so you guys want to jump into Cool? Sure.

Why not? Let's do it. I don't know if I watched anything this week, man. it's gone by so fucking fast. I can go first if you guys don't mind. Yeah, go ahead. Because I just recently watched it. So, AJ is going through all of the Oscar contender movies with me this year.

And we finally got up to one called The Father with Anthony Hopkins. Have you guys heard about this? Zepaja. Zepaja. Not really a horror movie, but it's like one of the most, definitely one of the most frightening films I've ever seen in a long time. It's about, he lives with his daughter and he's kind of slipping into dementia. So the way the, I guess some of the choices the filmmaker made were really interesting because like in the first part of the movie, he was in a kitchen and you notice that all the time. tiles were like light blue and the kitchen was set up a certain way and then like the next

scene it gets really disorienting because you see that the tiles have they're like yellow now and it's like a slightly different kitchen as a gold I don't know maybe so man sorry um I'll stop um now it's very it's really frightening and disorienting because every time you, you know, they show a different scene. Like some of the furniture has moved around or chairs are sitting somewhere that they weren't. And you kind of realize that you're pretty much inside his head the whole time. And it's very, uh, it's very, and I swear to God, dude, no, um, Mike Myers is not in the movie, Philly.

But he should get an Oscar for Gold, Goal member, of course. Oh, yeah. One of my favorite movies of all time. But yeah, his, I mean, if he, if he doesn't get a, best actor, there could be a problem because he did a really, really fantastic job. Who is it? Anthony Hopkins. Sir, pardon me, Sir Anthony Hopkins. So cool.

You know, he loves gold. He loves gold. I'm from Holland. Isn't that weird? Yeah, it's quite a strange movie, especially when you start getting about a third of the way through and you start getting some twisty tourneys where you realize maybe

he's not where you thought he was and a certain person isn't it's just a really really I guess like you just have to say a terrifying account of what it's like you know suffering through Alzheimer's and then going into dementia and man grow of a lifetime uh well I don't know this or Hannibal Lecter it's kind of a toss-up for me great acting job that's yeah it's up there. It's up there. Check it out. I do have a cool of the week now that I'm thinking about it. We, uh, on the way home today, uh, we stopped by, uh, and went to the movie theater for the first time in fucking forever. And, you know, there's limited stuff out right now. We had the kids. So we went to see, uh,

Raya and the Last Dragon. Nice. Yeah. It, uh, I've heard really amazing things. It wasn't bad, but it, like, it didn't floor me or anything. It was pretty good. Yeah, typical Disney movie. It's no toy store. Nah, but did the kids like it? See, that's the important. But yeah, it was nice.

Plus, you know, it was cool sitting in a theater again. There you go. Oh, I did, guys, I got an Xbox that I set up today. What? So this is going to be a problem. And I thought my time was limited before. I sat down and started to play, and there's a Gears of War game on it.

I actually went ahead and I'm trying the, you get the, for a $1 for a month, you get the, I guess like the package where you have access to, it was called Game Pass, Brian, or something like that. Yeah. So I'm trying that out. I've downloaded a Nazi zombie, a Nazi zombie game, which is a hell of a lot of fun.

Wolfenstein. No, it's not Wolfenstein. I think it's called like, ah, don't shit, don't hate me misquoted. I played the game, but I couldn't tell you what it's called. I think there's a call of duty with some Nazi zombies on there somewhere. You know what? It's like its own thing.

Either sometime during the night I'll go in there and sneak a peek, or I'll report back to you guys on the next show, I promise. But by then I'll have seven or eight other games downloaded, I'm sure. Oh, I'll download the Grand Theft Auto 5. That's on there. Oh, nice. That'll keep you busy for a while. Yeah.

We're going to start a Twitch stream or something. There you go. We can do that too. I also see they got all the old Doom games on there now. Yeah, I noticed that. I was scrolling through. I was playing an old school Doom game, like, O.G. Doom in virtual reality. That was kind of cool.

What? Yeah. I mean, you know, it's still on. Oh, that's on your headset that you've got. Yeah, but it's pretty cool. I was like, oh, this seems like a good way to play Doom. I might get back into the VR thing again, too. And if we all end up getting one week and there's no lack of things we can do on VR,

like in groups and stuff like that, I guess, right? Oh, yeah, that'd be cool. Hell, we could have like little meetups or something. And if I can pull my kid off of. Fortnite. I'll play the Xbox and get on there with you. Good luck. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's a good deal, guys.

It's like $14.99 a month, but it's kind of like they rotate the games out and they always have at least a hundred up there. Oh, yeah, I've subscribed to it before. It's pretty awesome. And that, excuse me, the $1499 includes Xbox. live gold and they just added because before you had to pay for EA the EA game separately and they just added all that in one package

Oh yeah You don't want to pay separately for EA They're garbage Ah man there were tons There were tons of sports games on there I'll tell you that Yeah They're the same sports games that were there

20 fucking years ago they just Are they slap a new sticker on it Change the number my turn yes sir all right start with actually

because the last couple of weeks I was kind of not watching a whole lot I kind of watched quite a few things so I'll go through them here quickly Falcon Winter Soldier still awesome

oh yeah I did I'm not totally caught up on it but I did see the X-Men reference I mean I had to look it up but pretty cool I'm excited I mean, I don't think they're going to introduce anybody.

But at least it alludes to a Wolverine appearance sometime in the not-so-distant future. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not going to spoil nothing. Somebody finally took a turn that I was kind of waiting for. Oh, somebody named Wyatt? Yeah, that guy. Okay. That had to happen.

I was waiting for it. And when it happened, I was like, something I kind of wanted to see. I'm impressed with Zemo, man. He's kind of a cool character. Oh, yeah. They put, Marvel just put out, I guess it's like an hour-long dance sequence of him in the club. Oh, that sounds like a, hour-long dance sequence.

Yeah, they did like a master cut with all the scenes they took. Jesus Christ. Because apparently that's the Zemo. Everybody wants to stay around. I mean, you know what's. it's going to eventually happen. Yeah, I saw it in the episode when he was doing it, and I was like, was he just dancing?

What was this? Spider-Man, Spider-Man 2 or 3 or whatever, where he's out. He's dancing in the club. He's bringing them cupcakes on the private plane. Nice. But you know what's going to happen. Let's see. Are you guys watching Invincible on Amazon Prime?

No. No. Didn't even know anything about it. The animated superhero show from Robert Kirkman. Oh, okay. I've heard of it. Okay, now, we get on Marvel stuff. Hopefully they'll continue with the Zach Snyder, D.C. stuff.

But Amazon, they are doing a good job of giving us, like, that kind of alternative superhero stuff to kind of more adult. Sure. And Invincible is fantastic. It is violent. Yeah, this is definitely not... If you're worried about violence and profanity, then don't watch this superhero show with your kids. Is it an original thing?

Yeah, Robert Kirkman, who did The Walking Dead. I believe this was a comic book he did. All right. See, that's cool, man. if we're getting some more original material, I think that's great. I mean, we got, as much as I love all the remakes and, you know, Marvel movies and, you know,

stuff like that, this is cool. Yeah, there is currently five episodes out right now and they are doing the kind of weekly thing they did like the boys. Mm-hmm. So. Ah, I was going to ask you, how does it stack up to the boys?

It's not as good as the boys, but it's it's kind of a welcome, I guess, thing to Amazon because it looks like they're kind of building up their superhero, their own superhero TV shows. Yes, the alternative heroes, huh? Yeah, and I enjoy the characters, and if you look at the cast list, he looks like Robert Kirkman called in a lot of favors from The Walking Dead

because there's a lot of people from the show that are on the voice cast. Huh. That's cool. The main character, Invincible, is Stephen Yoon. Okay, sure. What was his name on Walking Dead? Glenn. Yeah, Glenn.

Okay, cool. There's a lot of voices. You're just kind of like, I know that voice, and you look it up. And then it's like, oh, it's Maggie from the Walking Dead or it's somebody, you know. Herschel? Is Herschel in there? I don't think he made it. Didn't make the cut?

No. Yeah. That's one of the things. that threw me off a little on Riot and the Last Dragon. Like, who in the hell picked Aquafina? Aquafina. For the dragon.

I like Aquafina. No, I know. It just seems like a strange choice. I was cool with it. Isn't the dragon supposed to be, like, wisdom and all this stuff? And she's the comic release. Different kind of dragon. Yeah. Let's see.

Checked out the first episode of Them, which is also on Amazon Prime. I am probably going to finish this series within the next day or two. Are they all up then? Yeah, I think so. Apparently, I didn't know nothing.

I kind of went into this blind. I had posted the posters, the trailer, but I was hearing a lot of good things, so I didn't watch the trailer. I am intrigued. I am really intrigued. That first episode I thought was creepy. some of the

the way the cameras shots were going it kind of added to the creepiness and for when I understand every season because it's already getting the season two and every season is going to I guess it's going to be like an anthology

kind of like American Horror Story yeah but you have the you have the same characters throughout each season correct I don't know like I said I kind of went into this blind essentially this season story a black family moves to California in the 50s and they move into an all-white neighborhood in East Compton

and it's not just the neighbors they got to worry about even though the neighbors are really really horrible they are an all-white neighborhood in Compton I guess this is like the early early 50s you wouldn't find that now yeah and yeah like I said the the neighbors are like the worst people but there's also a supernatural element going on in the house there then that's what I was wondering about I kind of got that feel but yeah that's one man I please no spoilers until until I get a chance because but I did I did feel a little bit put I guess off I found it off putting or however you would say whatever the fucking word is I'm thinking of Because I looked at a preview and it said that the first episode was going to be an hour and 42 minutes, but it's really not, is it? I don't, no, I don't, I don't, it didn't feel like it.

Hmm, I'm not sure where I saw that, but, um, maybe they ended up cutting. It was got one of those 30 minute long credits at the end of it. It might. It might. A couple more things. I checked out the first two episodes of Creep Show. Season two. Yeah.

Yeah. I, I'm enjoying. it. I think this is more falls in the long the lines of introducing like kids and stuff to horror because it's not too much. Ah, gotcha.

And another show where there's a lot of, I'm not going to spoil it, a lot of familiar people from the Walking Dead show up in this one too. I'm assuming the Greg Nicotero factor. Gotcha. That makes sense. Let's see. The shutter movie Power we reviewed the trailer for about the nurse in the hospital. I actually liked this movie.

I thought it, it's nothing new, but I think they built up the atmosphere and the tension really well, because there's no way I'm working in a hospital when there is a, I guess there's a power surge or something. There's some kind of problem with the power. So they're doing like blackouts to conserve power. And it just so happens to be her first night in this creepy-ass hospital, and they are cutting the power. And there's a course. She's really get a generator at that hospital.

Yeah. It's a safety issue. And the main actress really reminded me of a young Bree Larson. She really looked like her, minus the, of course, the actresses British. So there was a lot of British talk that I didn't understand. understand what they were saying. Hey, I, hey, mate.

I catch you at the lorry. There you go. There's one guy. I think he's a maintenance guy or a security guard in the hospital. I didn't know what he was talking about. Ah.

I got the gist, but if you wanted me to like break down everything he was saying, I couldn't do it. Ah, well, we have British. We have British. British guests on the show, so maybe they can help us

break it down, right? Yes. The power definitely recommend, and I have one not cool the week, and I'll just go through this quickly. The Unholy with the Well, what did you expect? I always watched it. Okay, two things I'll say.

First of all, this movie is boring as shit. I was trying to stay awake watching it. And two, I like Jeffrey Dean Morgan, but he might have just kind of put himself in a position where all I see is Negan. Even if he's not a bad guy, like, you're Negan. So, almost like that other, that other horror one that he did, the Jewish horror thing, he was. A big box or whatever.

Yeah, like he was just kind of okay in it. Like, even when he showed up in Rampage, I was like, hey, there's Negan. Yeah. wasn't even carrying a bad at Rampage or was that the Mandela Effect talking right now? Yeah, I think you might have created that one. But yeah, everything I said previously, I recommend everybody check it out if they can,

but the unholy, you can skip that one. Ah, shit. Yeah, I was excited for that one too. It'll be on Netflix or something. Does it need to be watched, though, for potential being on a list at the end of the year? Um, I was so bored with it. I probably won't even remember it when I'm at the end of the year.

Gotcha. One of those that just gets forgotten. Yeah, that's it. It's all I got. All right. Well, we'll move right ahead on to listener feedback this week. Try to make it quick, since we got our commentary going. This week, instead of a podcast spotlight, we're going to throw some love out to

Dead Meat YouTube channel, right, Brian? Yeah, did meet. They just celebrated their fourth anniversary for the channel. We actually could have met them when we were all together in Texas Frightmare. You remember they had that big gathering outside? Yes, that was them, right? Yeah, that was them. Oh, okay, cool.

Yeah, I remember, okay, when they showed up. Yes, and I recommend everybody to check out the video where he's talking about the fourth anniversary because he, for anybody that's trying to drop some content on YouTube, he kind of, he likes to educate people because he has a lot of tough times with YouTube. He gets like, he gets millions of views. So does everybody else. Yeah, he gets millions of views per episode. But he's constantly talking about how he's having problems with YouTube.

And he's having to submit a video like two or three times. they'll deny it and he'll have to re-edit it again, but they're never really clear on, you know, what was the problem. Yeah. So definitely check that out. Got to make the tech overlords happy. Definitely check out his channel.

And, yeah, I really enjoy his kill count videos because he's not only counting the kills, he's also doing, like, trivia on the movies and how they were made. That sounds awesome, dude. So shout out to them. yeah and thanks for the information because we're going to use it um yeah real real quick that whole thing about because he started doing trailers for his count yes okay and the whole the whole fact that it it messes with his algorithms because his trailers are only two minutes compared to doing like 20 minute videos

and it's kind of like just messing with i i don't know it's it's it's a lot of stuff yeah i mean it's hard to make those algorithms perfect. I mean, basically bots run YouTube for the most part. So, if it doesn't reach a certain parameter on a certain thing, or if you say a certain thing, or if you show a certain

thing, or, you know, have some notes from the wrong fucking song in there. Yeah, it can happen. So, that ought to be fun. We'll be having fun with that pretty soon. I can't wait to be flagged. There you go.

I expect it to happen on every video. Matter of fact, I'll be disappointed if we don't. It may happen before we even put it up. But we are going to help pimp a really cool project through Indiegogo this week. Hey, Chainsaw fans, welcome to the Sawyer Massacre Indiegogo campaign. The Sawyer Massacre is a feature-length fan. film and unofficial prequel to the iconic horror film, the Texas chainsaw Masker, of course.

We have already raised funds to make this film, but our goal is to raise enough to shoot it in Texas where it should be filmed. We're now 30% funded, everyone. The next goal is to be 50% funded by Saturday night, which it's already past that. We have a long ways to go. They hit their goal. Awesome.

There you go. We have a long ways to go, but I know we can get there. we start sharing like crazy. We'd love to give this next reward to you guys, so help us get there. If any, any live through the nightmare, they'll wish they hadn't.

You can contribute to be a part of the project. Just visit the Sawyer Massacre, TCM fan film page on Indiegogo. So yeah, definitely check that out. Hey, man. The original Texas Chainsaw Masker was pretty fucking low budget. So I think they can pull it off and make a badass movie.

I mean, how many films have we seen that were filmed on an iPhone that were awesome? True. Unsaying this one. Yeah. But then there was two, Jennifer. Right. Oh, God. I was debating on bringing that up.

All right. And we got Jason Gorton. Apologies if this post is not allowed. Well, now it definitely is. I have a lore research question that I can't find the answer to in my investigation. So the prevailing lore is that if a vampire bites you, you appear to stay the same age for as long as you exist. My question is, does it cause any regeneration of the body when you become a vampire? If you have a limb amputated or broken when you're alive, does the limb heal or grow back when you become a vampire?

a vampire. Or are you a vampire with a cast on your leg forever? God damn. And what about missing teeth? If a person has lost all their teeth through injury or decayed, the fangs still grow in. Well, that make it hard for them to do their thing, huh? Yeah. Yeah, we got to give this guy a glass of it.

He doesn't have any of it. See, yeah, it's vampire. Obviously, I already know that, uh, that can change anything I need for the purposes of the project I'm working on, but I wanted to know if there is a prevailing canon already in place. Thanks for your feedback. Well, what do you guys think? I, you know, if I'm just thinking the movies,

it kind of seems like nobody was really had any of them problems when they turned into a vampire. You think that would have come up by now, right? I mean, I would say, I'm trying to think in the interview with a vampire, was Kirsten Dunt's character when they first meet her? Was she sick? Or was, was that just the problem? No, she was. She was sick. They all had the plague.

Well, and it seemed to have taken the plague away. Right. Yeah. Well, and well, they stay the same age, right? They don't like D-age. They don't get any younger, but they don't really ever age any above where they were when they were turned, right? Yeah, and then there was a great scene where she tried to cut her hair off, and it just grew back the way it was.

So that kind of makes me think maybe you just are the way you are when you're a vampire, or when you were a human trying to talk to vampire. So I guess you could make arguments for both sides. Mm-hmm. Amputy vampire. Yeah. That's going to be confusing. Well, I was just about to say how horrifying would it be for somebody to, like,

one of the Van Helsing relatives to capture you and just kind of keep you chained up and cut your leg off every morning. Yeah, that would be like an horrible. Trying to think of the movies because in the first Blade, Donna Logue, one of

the main villains Blade was constantly like cutting his arms off. Oh, well, there you go. True. We're back, but now if you were missing an arm or leg before, I don't know. I've never

seen that in a movie. I think maybe somebody should address that in the movie. It probably depends on how cool it looks. Like if you have an awesome eye patch or something and you turn into a vampire, I mean, you got to keep the eye patch, right? Yeah.

A pirate vampire. It's a good question. That's a good question. Maybe we'll get some more feedback on the Facebook group to talk about next week. It is. That's one I haven't thought about before. All right, regarding Godzilla versus Kong. Taylor Feehili says, is the world coming to an end?

I actually agree with Lance and not Kevin on Godzilla. There you go. Holy shit. The universe is not balanced right now. Am I dying? Yeah, dude, it's a fun movie. I mean, it's fucking stupid, but it's a fun movie. Yeah, you can keep all your.

Scarsguard, Professor Scarsguard and all that stupid shit that stupid look on his face all the time. Yeah, he does. He looks like he's very surprised. I mean, I don't know. Maybe it's just me, but if I've seen

Titans and I've been to Middle Earth or whatever it was, I'm not going to be surprised at a whole lot. Which for some reason is as bright as daylight. Yes. Where does the light come from? Oh, I hadn't thought about that. You know, if you go to the edge of the flat earth, take a picture for me, right?

I kind of want that to be the next, I guess, what do they call it, the monster verse? Yeah, I'm sure it will be. I like to see, because that's where Kong's ancestors came from, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah, like a way, way prequel, ancient times. Yeah, I would like to see what happened to all of them if they're all gone now. Yeah. But, you know, and I watched Godzilla King of Monsters this morning, actually.

And it's a fun movie, but there's way too much human bullshit that nobody gives a fuck about. Yeah, I was kind of, when we rebuted it, I was kind of defending it. But when I rewatched it, I was just like, oh, gosh. Yeah, it's still got some really great scenes in it. But, yeah, there's, and they tried to put really decent actors in, I think, and they did a pretty good job. It's just, you know, if you're going to go see a Godzilla movie, I don't care who the main character is. Yeah, fair enough. Yeah, but I always thought that was just to put butts in seats, though.

Yeah. You know, we got, we got what, Godzilla, or Godzilla King of Monsters, we got Millie Bobby Brown, and then we got Vera Formiga. Yeah. I don't know who's excited about Kyle Chandler, but, you know, they just throw some of it. some name actors in there. I thought he's at least a dude where you look at him and you're like, oh, yeah, I've seen him before. That's why I think, as my opinion,

I think Kong Skull Island is the best one. Because you kind of got to know some of the characters. Yeah. And they actually did some stuff, except for, what was his name from Black Mirror? Can't think of his name. Lance, he's from,

the Apple TV show, the Shaman Lama Dingdon show. Yes, and we talk about him every other week. I just can't think of his name right now. Yeah, he kind of had a pointless story. Right. Yeah. But in that movie, I think everybody else did what they were supposed to do unlike the Godzilla movies, which I'd rewatching them.

I just really don't care about anybody. Yeah, they're having a hard time getting those right. But, you know, King of Monsters is pretty good. I did really enjoy Godzilla versus Kong as dumb as the plot was. But what are you going to do? That wasn't the important part of that movie. Regarding the long writers, Matt Wood says, not even heard of this, Brian.

Is it a horror western? Or is it a porno? It is neither. It is. A movie that is, I looked it up. I've never seen it. We're doing it on the next stream fiends. I was Nez's pick, and it says it's a action-adventure western.

Oh, okay. That's cool. Looking forward to watching it. Nez says he's watched it many times and loves the movie. Mike is, I think Mike was on that show when we talked about it, and he also loves it. So definitely looking forward to it. All right. Never even heard of it. Sounds great. Let's see. Regarding popcorn, Danny Bennett says, I love everything about this movie.

Danny, I agree with you, Danny. It's one of my favorite. It's like early 90s horror movie. Basically, it's set in a movie theater. They're putting on like a horror film festival. And it's a slasher. And I thought it was a fun movie. hopefully we'll get to cover sometime in the future. I'm surprised they're, I'm surprised they never did a sequel. I mean, that should have been perfect for popcorn to the sequel

or something, right? Yeah, and I would love to go to one of these little film things like that they were planning in a movie because they were, they were shown like old school horror movies, but everything had like a gimmick. Sure. So if there was like

a monster that stank or something, they would like pumping like smells and smell of vision that's awesome and you know different little gimmicks like that and i i think that would be super fun to be at popcorn the free refill oh i think you just said uh regarding brian's viewing of the unholy matt wood says i've not heard good things what did you think and you will never hear good things obviously not good here's nighan and holy shit we're up to

2,000 followers on Twitter I don't know if that's good or not but it sounds pretty amazing to me sounds pretty good appreciate everybody following us yeah thank you so much tell your friends so we can

get out there into the world that's it for listener feedback intro comes from Steve Carlton of the League of Geeks with a Z. The artwork is from Natsulani. We'll be sticking that on a T-shirt in the near future. And if you'd like to help the show,

please consider becoming a Patreon. Patron. We'll let you pick the movies for a future show at any amount. And for $5 or more a month, also pick a commentary for a future bonus show, which is what we are doing today. Although it's not really a bonus show, but you get the idea.

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leave a review an actual review. Just don't put a rating. Just throw a single star and then run away with your I mean, maybe it's something that we agree that we need to make a change on or something. That's true. Constructive criticism.

Yeah, don't be scared. Or at least give us a reason to talk shit about you. Right? Absolutely. We'll have you on. Hell, we'll have you as a guest. Yeah. And if you piss me off,

just letting you know. Well, we know how people are in Alaska, I saw Hold the Dark a couple weeks ago, so. Oh, yeah, we will. Yeah, we got submachine guns in our attics and all kinds of stuff. And yeah, man, hit up the $5. Patreon patron. That's like less than a cup of coffee a week.

Do you want to save some starving kids in Africa, or do you want to listen to your favorite show? Come on. Oi. Oe, pay. All right. Now we're on to The featured attractions. Maybe we'll delete that part.

We might have broken Lance again. All right. You all right? So we all found movie. We're all at zero. Yeah. Working on the cemetery man. Ninety-four with Rupert.

Everett. It's on YouTube in case you're interested. and want to follow along with us. All right, and the copy you guys have, does it say it's a total of 14326? Yes, sir. Uh-oh. I'll just play along if it's not.

Okay. We should be okay, right? Yeah. All right, who wants to count us down? I will. Three, two, one, play. All right, I'm going to let this intro go while

I use the restroom so I don't my pants. I'll be back. Great way to start a commentary. Can you hear that, Brian? Yeah. Studio Canal. All right. Well, at least we got the right movie. Michelle Ray Gravas? Is that what it said?

Yeah. Have you seen this before, Lance? Never. I believe I saw it one time before. It was probably had to have been like almost 20 years ago. because I do remember a lot of the scenes of him in the graveyard and stuff like that. Okay. Yeah, I've heard of it for sure,

but never had the opportunity. And I definitely didn't want to see it before we got a chance to do this because I want to get knocked out of my chair with laughter like we did with the shocker with Garrett. I just rewatch that too. I should have been on that one. there's a lot to talk about in that. Oh, man.

So I do have the words on mine, but I do believe that it may not be a precise translation. Oh, so was that a zombie? I don't know. Got a first kill already. All right. Didn't take long.

Casually smoking a cigarette on the phone now. So what is this basically? Rupert Everett and like half a lot of, of Italy, pretty much. Yeah. Okay. No other big names in the movie besides him then? What you're aware of?

Let me pull it up, but as far as I, I only know Rupert Ebert. Is that a snow globe? Yeah, that's what you have when you watch over a cemetery, keep snow globes. Interesting. Okay. I'm back, motherfucker. Now, Phil, have you seen Cemetery Man before? No. Okay.

I've never even heard it. From what I understand, it's actually a cult classic. It seems to be very hard to find. It's not even on Blu-ray or anything. Well, yeah, that was the problem. That's why I'm glad that you found it on YouTube for us, because I was having trouble even finding it anywhere to pay to stream. Hey, they look like the guy from Human Seneca, too.

Was that who that was? I thought it was Uncle. Was it Uncle Fester? Yeah. There you go. A horrifying mix between the two. I'm looking at the cast, and I don't recognize anybody except the main star. Is this like Italian?

Yes. Okay. I think. Maybe I should have looked it up before. Yes, Italian. So Phil, while you were gone, he has already killed the zombie. Oh, he killed the zombie. I saw him walking around with the guy.

I was like, who'd come from? Yeah, he was casually walking around. It looked like he just got out to shower. So he's in the towel, opens up the door, shoots zombie in the head casually, and then just lights up a cigarette. Mm-hmm. Well, there you go.

Just another Tuesday. Yeah, that guy looks more like Uncle Fester. I apologize for the liquid sounds. It's not pee. I'm making a drink. Sure. You know, it goes in one set. One end comes out the other.

Probably alcoholic both ways. So, probably, probably light it on fire either way, right? Yeah. Is this a sound stage? It's got to be, right? Definitely doesn't look like it's actually outdoors.

No, this looks all made. nothing looks I mean it doesn't look bad but it definitely looks like it's a soundstage what the hell very evil dead right

just a reminder 1994 this movie with special effects that's pretty cool that's good I thought it looked like the 70s frankly

it might have been a fired because it kind of looks kind of little what do you call them what kind of has that feel to it I could be wrong

because I have not watched a lot of jolos ah okay sure I've not watched a lot of them but it kind of has that feel

I don't know the jello puddings it's just away from the pudding pops now that's scary oh man well wonder what's in his drink

now now you got me what you got me thinking guys. Jello pudding. It looks like Hamlet with that skull. Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him well. What is that? Brandy he's drinking? Who knows?

Looks like, might be wine. Oh, yeah, they are in Italy, right? Uncle Fester. That was rude. He could have got his own cup. Right? Yeah, it doesn't look like a guy you drink after. So is he like a caretaker or something?

Hmm, good question. I guess all will be revealed, right? Seems to be. Well, he's not an engine. We know Rupert Everett's not an engineer, so that's all we know for sure so far. Yeah, I'm getting he's a caretaker by day and a zombie killer by night. Oh, there you go. He seemed a little, a little too calm when the zombie showed up,

knocking on his door. Yeah. Yeah. Way beyond calm. Not the best time to rake leaves. Fester seems to be useless right about now. Well, he's special. I'm assuming he's the comedic relief.

Well, maybe it's just started, so we have plenty of that coming. Now, I'm going to have a hard time not making jokes. I've got to be in this movie a whole time. We kind of have to make jokes, don't we? See, now this doesn't look like a soundstage. Yeah, you're right. It does look like it's outside. Why would it be?

Wouldn't it be just cheaper to go to a garden? You would think so. I mean, we talk about it all the time. Wouldn't it just be cheaper to do practical effects than CGI? But I beg to differ. Everything is CGI. Instantly in love. Looks that way.

and she hadn't even looked at him that's creepy she is hot though yeah I would agree so this movie was originally I guess the Italian title is De la Morte de la More so doesn't it mean like something death

something my love or something like that sure Oh yeah Say it again De la Morte de la More Yeah from my translation of the death of the love

I mean Ah Or the love of loving the dead maybe Apologize everybody We're not up on our Italian No yeah No I don't know any Italian at all It's just

Yeah Close to Spanish Yeah and no Danish at all Lars So Is that what they speak in Denmark Lars Danish? Is that? Oh man, I hope I didn't.

This may be one of our worst shows ever. We're going to misquote everything. We're going to piss off everybody. As the only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch. That's right. Fajah. What do they speak in Denmark? I've got to look at out. Denmark. Danish. Yes.

There you go. right. We're one for one. Oh, she's outspoken. Very much. Yeah, that's not normal. Yeah. Now, her, the way she's dressed, she kind of looks like, she came from like a 1960s movie. Yeah, this seems to be a lot of different influences in this movie.

Yeah. Don't be weird, Fester. I think he doesn't know how to not be weird. still raking up the same pile of leaves because they keep blowing away he's not a smart man oh yeah but neither is neither is our main guy here man he's sitting in the shower moping about someone he literally just met

I'm looking at the synopsis it seems like he has to do this a lot because it says the cemetery man must kill the dead a second time when they become zombies so ah well there you go man maybe it has something to do with the cemetery they're being buried in?

So maybe he's the only one that knows the truth. So when they come back to life, it's his responsibility. Or is it? I'm guessing that this scene is making fun of Italy's penchant for being like, yeah, really full of red tape. Like, is he like at a city hall or something like that?

I can't read anything, so. Most of the stories that I hear about Italy is that it's very government heavy and like super awkward at the top and very, very hard to get anything done. It's like that in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. They have that whole race of people that's just...

Yes. Everything has to be done in triplicate and they need... Yep. That's got to be what this is alluding to. And they say it never hurts to bribe a little here and there, which looks like maybe he's doing right now. Hey, listen, even here, dude, if I can... get some work done without a permit, I'd do it.

It's just easier. Looking at the main actress now, she's still pretty hot. Yeah? Yes. Anna Fauci. Well, because it looks like it was fucking 60 years ago, but it's not. Sure. Mm-hmm.

Right? Yeah. It definitely doesn't look like our early 90s. Not, yeah. Early 90s doesn't sound like it's that far ago, and then you're like, oh, man, that was like 20 years. Yeah. But if you... 25 years.

The movie we talked about in listener feedback, popcorn, if you watch that, that seems more 80s than 90s. That'll probably be like the first thing you get when you watch it. Now, do you think that was by design? I'm sure. Kind of wanted that retro look. I'm sure.

And plus, I think it was like maybe early, early 90s, like maybe 90, 91. So, you know, you're just coming off the 80s. Well, and you know, aside from whatever this 80s music bullshit is they have in the background it uh this this movie can't decide what it's doing

because it looks very like 60s did he just leap out of the cemetery hole with no hands that way yeah that was a big hole straight up and left fester in there to fester fucker can't get out of that hole what are we going to do oh that's where I know

Rupert Edward from he's in that room romantic comedy with Julia Roberts, my best friend's wedding. That's right. That's right. And see, that feels like it was filmed 40 years after this movie.

Yes. He fixed his belt. I know that was a weird thing to notice, but that last scene, his belt was all fucking turned. That was messed up? It was driving me fucking crazy. I'm sorry.

What was he doing? Gigline, motherfucker. He had his pants down or what with Fester? No, Rupert. He had his... He's tucking in his boner under his belt.

This is a dumb conversation. I'll stop now. I get it. I get it. Can he not leave? Oh, no, he did leave earlier. Okay. Well, she's got some big old tities.

Is that, I'm assuming that's Anna Fauci? Yes. I think she is, it says in the cast list, they just call her she. Okay. Well, that's fine. That'll work. I don't think you want to go in there. Yeah, if the door has a big cross cut out of it, it's probably not a good idea. Especially if there's skeletons on the fucking wall.

I guess we'll just take our shoes off and go in. Aye, aye, aye. Oh, I don't want to get my heels dirty. I'll just go barefoot through this swamp. Okay. She's weird. You are chasing the wrong chick, dude. The warning signs are all over the place, right?

Yeah, there's a crazy hot Matrix, and she is like flying off the rails on it. She's left the spectrum. He may be into that. I mean, he does wear in a cemetery. He's being a little creepy himself. Maybe he is getting turned on by this. Sure looks that way.

isn't it? It's getting turned on by her being turned on. So is the twist going to be that the whole throughout the whole film, she is a freshly turned zombie then, you think? I'm going to say neither that or she will become one. Okay. Well, she's already dead. She can't get pregnant, right? Don't put random stuff on top of my head. Not from in there.

Oh, man. This is crazy. Is this like a filter for? kissing or something? I guess so. Yeah, they guess they had coronavirus going around. It's a dental dam. What the fuck? What an odd choice of filming.

Weird camera angles. You're a con. You can't what? Does she not know where she is now? Now what's going to happen? All right. In case the warning signs weren't clear, run away from that shit right now.

The hell? What is going on? A skeleton is molesting her? You see what you did? You went in here alone with this girl. She's running out here with her shirt ripped off, and guess who's going to get accused of prey? Oh, no, he's sniffing her clothes.

Oh, well. Maybe he had that intent. Maybe he did, you weirdo. Yeah, I don't know who's. the weird one in this situation. I know, they both are, but it's just a dysfunctional relationship. I just hope they don't have kids. What is that?

Somebody roasting marshmallows? What the fuck is that? A blue marshmallow. It looks like a marshmallow. Follow the marshmallow. Or he's on mushrooms. Oh, there's more. There's a bunch of marshmallows.

Nobody invited me to the party. That's the worst Italian accent. No, I know that came out a little more German, didn't. Funny her. Look, who's still here. Look, she's still standing there with no shirt on.

Well, he's busy smelling it. Ay, aye, aye. Oh, no. Now what? He flew into the bun of her hair. The marshmallow. Okay, is she getting aroused again? No, I think she's going to be accosted by the blue marshmallows now.

Maybe she already was. See, she takes the veil off and lets her hair down, and you're like, you know what, it's almost worth? Right? Got to take a chance, right? Oh, we need is some David Bowie in the background. The serious moonlight. It was back in her to turn into a werewolf.

Yeah, it does kind of have more of that kind of vibe to it, doesn't it? Yeah. Maybe you weren't too far off, Philip, with your accent, because I'm reading that this was an international co-production between Italy, France, and Germany. Oh, there you go. So, there you go. So maybe the accents were right? Is you really having sex in a graveyard right now?

Is that what happens? Oh, she does now notice these. Yeah. Oh, yeah, they've been there. They're watching. Figured you'd be into it. Why on your poor husband's grave? Ow. That's her husband's grave. Whoa.

He was a little bit older than her. That was her husband's grave. All right. He's a little bit more than a little bit older. I was thinking I was going to guess great grandfather. maybe. What was the stripper's name that had the reality

show? Oh, God. Yeah, he died of an overdose. Anna Nicole Smith. Yeah,

Nicole Smith. There it is. I think she died at the hard rock hotel somewhere in Florida. She just is way hotter and somehow less crazy.

You think? Oh. Oh, he blew it away. What the fuck? Oh, geez. That's a good to pass. Oh, this guy. Ah, okay. He's got a front row. He's got a front row view.

Wow. There we go. Philip? I was right. They are some beautiful boobies. She's got some big old nips. Not that there's anything wrong with that. No, no. It's fine. all beautiful in their own special way.

There you go. If you got weird nips, they're still hot. Is the husband about to come back to life? Ah, his eyes are moving. Well, there you go. Is somebody fucking on my grave? Yeah, so did she know this was going to happen? I wonder.

Not that he probably even gave a shit when he was alive. He's 106 years old. Why does it look like he's been there for a long time? Hey. What he's doing to that board? Finger in it. It's trying pretty hard to get out of there, isn't he? A little floorplay goes a long way in a coffin.

Right? Looks like just some of those river bottom rocks that you buy in a bag at Home Depot. They just threw on top of it. They go on the bottom of a fish tank. Ah, that's what it is. Okay. Oh. He's like, God, God, damn it.

More zombies. Oh, he bidder. Oh, well, now we know what's going to happen, I guess, right? Is she going to turn into a zombie? That's her fault. That's a naked-ass boyfriend who just got up and left. Good thing she happened to be with the caretaker, who happens to already be a well-y-lawful. established zombie killer, right?

Yeah, I see where this is going. He's not going to be able to let her go. Although it seems like if he's a well-established zombie killer, that he probably should have seen that shit coming. Should have seen that coming from a mile away. Oh, see, Fester was actually doing something right. He immediately

brought the gun. And he's sending him away. Good guy. He's trying to help, and he's like, You're a sicko. I can't believe you're watching us. outside the window that we're fucking in the graveyard in. Jackass. Yeah, that might almost be worth it, though. It's not an unattractive woman.

No, that's true. But once she becomes a zombie, I think you got to kill her. Is that going to be the stopping off point, you think? How in love with her can he possibly be? It's been 20 minutes. This movie's been pretty weird, so I don't think that's the stopping off point. But oh, but oh, those 20. 20 minutes.

Well, right. Hey, look, you had a good time. Move on. Mm-hmm. Looking at trivia here, I guess they were going to make, I don't know if they still are. They were going to make an Americanized remake of this. Oh, well, hmm. Who would we get to play Reaper Everett?

Who would we get to play the woman? That would be my question. Hmm. Who would we get to play Fest? Also true. Okay. Ben Stiller. Uh-huh.

He would be great. But don't you kind of almost need to have that body type to add to the humor of it a little bit? Yeah. Although he would be great, especially now. He could pull it off. Christian Bale. He can play anybody. Oh, yeah.

Or Gary Oldman. Yeah. The English translation of the name. is of death of love. There you go. Check that out. Nailed it. Makes perfect sense. Oh, that's who does the music for this.

Tandrine Dream. Tandrine Dream. Really? That makes sense. They did a lot of movie scores at this time. Yes, they did. They did. Oh, what was the one where Bougar at the beginning said, sometimes you just got to say, what the fuck? Rebecca DeMarnay was in it. She was the hard hook. Yeah, didn't they play Tangerine Dream in that scene when they were on the train?

Yeah, I think so. They also, never-ending story is probably the one that always pops in my head. That's a big one. That's a big one. That's a good name, Tangerine Dream. Yeah. Uh-oh. Zip flies.

Oh, come on. He's so matter of fact about it. So I'm assuming he's just waiting. it looks that way yeah he was just waiting for to die to have sex with her from the beginning this would have been a different type of movie

than I expect if that happened well I'm sure when she comes back technically is sleeping would a dead woman so yeah it kind of and it does kind of almost like this maybe was his plan somehow I don't know

seems like it would have been better to get in a relationship with her while she was still alive since she obviously just inherited the old man's money. Oh, yeah. Wow. Well, this definitely not a perfect plan. I'm not a small man.

But Mama said I was. Oh, there we go. So is she going to be a hot zombie? We are going to find out. Kind of like in Return of the Living Dead. Was it Return of the Living Dead 3? with a really hot one. Yeah, Melinda Clark.

That's right. Yeah. Which I, because she's, I just been watching Entourage. Is she in it now? Yeah, she's like, she's like the wife of one of these big agents and stuff. And her name is Melinda, and I never put it together. She's actually playing herself on Entourage. Okay.

That makes sense. She's still pretty fucking hot. Mm-hmm. She was supposed to be a nightmare. That's right. I was looking forward to seeing her, man. but I get my blue ray signed

Yeah we were looking forward to seeing a lot of people of Frightmare Well he shot her Speaking of Frightmare If it happens in September You guys gonna go I don't see why not I don't know See

There's a lot of movies getting pushed back now again Yeah I know I know Either getting pushed back Or going straight to HBO or Paramount Plus, right? Yeah. Or like after 90 days, I guess, to Paramount Plus.

I think Paramount's going to change that. Do you think so? I think it's going to be neither there's going to be a less time frame or day of. Gotcha. But a lot of those movies got pushed back. Top Gun, the new Top Gun

got pushed in November. Well, that was supposed to be a couple of years ago. now, right? Yeah, Mr. Impossible 7 and 8, they were filming those back to back. Those aren't coming out to like 2022 and 2023 now.

Jesus Christ. John Chivalper in this movie, what the fuck are they doing? You seen him? Was that John Travolta? No, they just had a bunch of like 50s bikers guys in the background. Oh, I see what you're talking about.

Greasers, right? Yeah. I was thinking of Never mind. You ever see wild hogs or whatever? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. But I don't know why when you said John Travolta, the fanatic came into my head.

Talk about Uncle Fester again. There, play moose. I have Moose play Uncle Fester. Yeah, I guess that could work, right? Uh-oh, he's in love now. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, this just got weird. No shit.

Yeah, it's, yeah, becoming increasingly awkward, huh? Will you buy him, Daddy? I wouldn't know. Is she like 14 years old or what? Is that what she said? Yeah. He's like, he even knows what? Oh, he's about a few times.

Oh, yeah. There's John Travolta. Oh. Where did this guy come from? The hell? No, you cannot get on my back with all that throwout. What in the fuck just happened? How does any of this have anything to do with the movie?

Okay, let's recap. He was, look like he was about to be inappropriate with this young 14-year-old girl. Mm-hmm. Then she asked her parents, can we buy him? So apparently they fucking buy people. and then he throws up on her and then... She wanted him as a pet. Yeah, and then some guy shows up on a motorcycle and takes her away.

Yeah. And the parents say nothing. Interesting. Yeah. The dad didn't even stand up. Just sat there drinking his wine, huh? Can't catch faster. Hey, sometimes I throw up when I see a pretty woman too.

It's a condition. Is this lady there the whole time? she's dressed exactly the same goodness then again he is too right has he changed his outfit once I think that's like his cemetery man outfit

probably smells like shit so are the zombies like contained to that area or because he didn't really it's a great question seemed like too worried about close the gate right

that was like an album cover right there is it? I don't know. Oh, you mean the picture? Yeah. They're like an 80s folk band. What is, so when they die, he goes and crosses their name out of the phone book. It's kind of like a reverse Sarah Connor.

Nagy? Is that the guy's name? Nagy? Is that what y'all are getting on your translation? Yeah, I'm going to stick with Fester. Okay. Oh. It was probably for the best fester since she's 14 or whatever she was.

Also true, and she was trying to buy you. Can we buy him? I think I got your answer, Brian. I think I found it in trivia. You asked if it was localized or not? Uh-huh. It says, according to director Michel Suave, the returners get their energy from the Mandra Gola roots that grow near the cemetery. Oh, that's why they had shit coming out of their head.

That makes sense. There you go. So why don't we just get rid of those roots? I hope she changed. That's right. Got bombed. It seems like a very reckless motorcycle scene. No kidding.

It's scared. The guy in the back kind of looks like Chuck Norris a little bit. Oh, the one that seems to be playing it safe on a motorcycle. Right. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. and goodbye Oh

Oh, Jesus I see a shit load of zombies coming Right They were on a tour of Italy, huh? Well, maybe not the girl Since they just obliterated her head That's going to be interesting to see I like how at the end of that scene

Instead of showing the bus blowing up They showed the horse going, what are these idiots doing Boris didn't seem really their phase Yeah This happens a lot Yeah These guys are fucking stupid God damn humans

That is a lot of cascids Yeah it seems like a strange way to do a funeral And the one that's glass Like how long is that going to last right FD bury it Are they bearing a motorcycle Mandrake roots No way

Yeah she's crying over the motorcycle or is he just fused to the motorcycle or something oh that would be awesome i think that might be what it is remember i threw up on your daughter is that the same girl yeah yeah is it no because she didn't she would have had a head maybe it was like one of the maybe it was one of the other girls yeah because i think there was another girl riding he's saying you even threw up on her uh Oh, the other girl that got smashed. You mean, okay, I got you.

He's going to throw up all over the last coffin. They did a hell of a lot of plastic surgery, huh? That's her. She wanted to buy me. He's still in love. I've never had anyone that wanted to buy me. She doesn't even have to pay. I'll give it to her for free.

Who's this moving around all stuff? in the background. Oh, her. Huh. She doesn't seem very stealthy. No. The opposite is stealthy. Yells a lot, you know.

He's so nonchalant about everything. Mm-hmm. He is. So cool. Get the fuck off me. I got to go to work. And who is she, by the way? She was in love with the motorcycle or whatever.

Okay. Ah, okay. I see. I see. They just showed that scene, man. Maybe she was Okay, the guy that came and picked up the young girl Maybe this is his actual girlfriend or something

That would make sense Does that say war blob on the TV? Yes, it does That seems like a really bad place for an electrical outlet Right, Philip? What in the hell? You don't install those next to the foster? Anything in the shower.

It's Italy, man. The codes are. are different. I did one time run across a lady who had a main electrical panel in her fucking shower. Why? Why would you do that? How?

Some remodel and nobody fucking moved it. Oh, wow. That's not good. That's probably changed that. That seems like a bad idea. Ah, here they are. Was he not prepared for this? Are they Boy Scouts? What's going on?

Was the bus full of Boy Scouts or something? I guess so. touring it. Oh, that was pretty cool. That is awesome. Yeah, these are, this is pretty good special effects. Is eating spaghetti again? I don't know.

I can't see what's all over his face. Yeah, I know. Eating it would imply he's getting some of it in his mouth. Yeah, not totally succeeding there. Is he still watching a war blob? Looks like it. Is this a nun? Get eaten by a nun, that's not good.

Is that a guy? Oh, well, I guess I'll keep on watching my show. I thought maybe I heard some gunshots, but I don't know. This is fucking awesome. He's still watching TV. Right. Oh, you know what, at that point, it's on you. Yeah.

How many gunshots have gone off? Can't hear that through some headphones? I mean, he's, he is watching war blobs, so maybe he thinks the gunshots are in the show. You don't see this? What the hell was that? He's like, God damn it, one of these Boy Scouts is trying to suck my dick again.

I'm just trying to come off of my lap. Oh, oh, now he's upset. You made him mad He's going to puke again Oh I hope not So was this just that electrical outlet Philip that was near the shower or whatever Is that what he was blowing out?

That started this whole thing Jesus That was the TV he just shut out Ah okay All right See now it doesn't look like a real cemetery When they go to night Yeah

Nighttime it looks very different That's true When you obviously just walk past a dead guy. What are we doing here? Now, does he get paid to work here, or does he just like being here?

And who pays him? Good question. I don't know. I've got some quick trivia, guys. All right. I'm looking for stuff to talk about. In 2009, the horror website, a shot

in the head, chose Anna Fauci's boobs from her nude scenes in this film as number one on their list of the top 10 boobs and horror movies in all times. I don't fucking blame them. They're pretty amazing. Yeah, I was about to say, I haven't seen the list, but

I'm not going to argue. Yeah. That was a good scene. Yeah. It's kind of definitely was hoping the grandkids weren't going to walk in here at that scene on.

Now what the fuck's happening? Oh, just kill her. Like a mega zombie coming? or something. Is that what it is? I don't know. Get up, Fester. So we're waiting for the mega zombie? There he is. What the hell?

Is he turning at this motorcycle? Is he flying? Oh, okay. The motorcycle zombie? Isn't this what she? Yeah, she was waiting for this. You know? Yeah, just shoot her. That's just crazy enough where I kind of don't get it. Yeah?

Did they bury him with his helmet? What? Jeez. Is he fused to the motorcycle or what? I guess, yes? Buried with the motorcycle, fused to it? It looks like. I think we're about to get an awesome death scene.

Those Mandrake roots grew really fast, didn't they? Maybe you can't get rid of them. That could be it. Like you said, Lance, maybe the roots? Maybe they grow too fast to get rid of. Ah, that would make sense Oh, does he got one of the likes in his eyes? It looks like it.

Oh, man, they should put this character in that Plants versus Zombies game. This would be a good one. Well, they have an Elvis in there, so. He's got a helmet on this protection. Yeah. I think he's being responsible. they didn't ever really start playing the song but I'm pretty sure that was Ozzy

I can tell you what the song name is off top of my head oh man yeah I think I read something about that in the in the where did I read that man damn it see I'm like just kind of flipping through some of the trivia here and there was part of a part of an Ozzy song used it The hard rock tune one can hear every time there is a motorcycle on screen is an instrumental version of Ozzy Osbourne's song from the 1991

or Hail Razor from the 1990s, No More Tears. There you go. So is that like the motorcycles theme music? Yeah, I guess so. Sounds like it. He's only eating me. What's he eating? What? The hell?

Kill them both. Oh, there you go. Two for one. A two for... That was a shot. He's going to take her in the end? Now to kill Fester. Oh.

No. The living dead and the dying living. Oh, he's never killed a living person. Ah, gotcha. So this is why it's giving him trouble now, huh? Yeah. You know what? that wasn't

his light eyes I kind of like that I'm going to remember that the living is the dying living yeah are not that different yeah

throw her in there too well I mean you gotta get rid of the body right yeah there's no there's no point in the digging two holes I like how they were

careful with her body you know it's always been a pet peeve of mine when they're digging fucking holes in a movie Oh yeah, like you're going to have to dig your own hole And then you're going to have to climb into it after you're done And you know how long it takes to dig a six-foot deep hole

They make it look so effortless Your hands would just be raw Yeah I've never seen him give any of those people gloves Have you? And it's going to take more than just all night Yeah, that's what I'm thinking Fester doesn't look like someone that would wear gloves

You don't think so? for anything. What kind of instrument was that? That was odd. It kind of looked like just a piece of wood that he was pretending to play. A homemade violin.

With no strings. No strings attached. Well, he did it in about five minutes, Philip. See, look, they're digging those goddamn holes again, man. They just keep throwing the dirt out like it's nothing. Uh-oh. I think we knew this was coming. Oh, yeah.

I do not like that expression on this face. Is she coming back? I got something for you to my John. Jesus Christ. Oh, she's back. It's amazing. Oh, now. Fix my collar.

Yeah. Oh, I thought he was taking this close off. Okay. I got to get this. My spaghetti. Oh, man. Well, I thought that glass coffin would come into it somehow. You're going to take her hands.

head. Brian. Whatever it is. This is a great idea. It's exactly what it did. Oh, he is. Well, all right. I guess he is giving her something to much on.

It's reanimator all over again. She's an awful nice zombie. Mm-hmm. He threw up on me. Oh, sweet. How's she moving? With her ears. Ah, okay.

I guess that makes sense. No, it doesn't. I thought it was kind of like the thing where tentacles came out of the back of her head or something. You taste like throw up. Well, you taste like death. Look. Look. What is going on here?

I'm telling you, it's like the thing. I guess... I'm reading through trivia here. I guess those blue lights are like an actual real thing. I don't know. Not in a movie, but... Floating marshmallows are a real thing? The mysterious floating lights that hover around Delamorte and she, as they are kissing upon the grave, are supposed to be Ignis Fettis, which means fools fire.

It's a naturally occurring firelight, light sometimes seen during twilight and swampy areas. Oh, well, that makes sense. You get light refracting and stuff. It's kind of the same concept as the Aurora Borealis. stuff. Yeah? Or the Swampy.

It's just atmospheric stuff. Yeah, yeah, Marphalites. Or UFOs. Or could be. I still like the

marshmallow thing. Yeah. Well, that's definitely what they were in this movie. Yeah. Well, we can't play,

we can't have the song go out with it. It's a marshmallow world because we don't want anybody come after us. No more music. Damn it. I thought long and hard.

I know. No pun intended on a lot of those songs. Spaghetti with bananas. Or is it? That is bananas, right? Can we get him some different fucking food that he can actually put in his mouth? What is going on with this food? Whose skull is this that he's been constantly fixing?

That's a good point. Or is it like his version of putting together? like model planes or something. That's what I'm thinking. Yeah. That's like a puzzle. Yeah. Those teeth are way too clean. Yeah, that's part of his hobby.

How nonchalant he is. Sorry for the background noise. I got my buddy Marley over here. He's mad. He's in the cage. Ah, poor guy. Well. How were the animals over the weekend? You guys had a pet sitter, right?

Oh, yeah. We had people here watching them. Well, yeah. Brother-in-law and his whole family. They've been down. for a while. As you saw when you guys got here, there was no lack of dogs running around the yard

the backyard. No, I know. We totally should have brought one, at least one. Definitely. Because they always have dogs at the soccer games. And we went to Izzy's soccer game before we went up there. And the only reason I didn't take a dog because I was like, well, then we've got to

go Lance's house. Oh, the little crypt with all the bones and stuff? Uh-huh. That was real. No kidding. Like real bones? Yeah. It said supposedly one of the crew members removed some of the bones during filming, but quickly replaced them the next day claiming they have encountered an angry ghost

following the removal of the bones. Oh, Jesus Christ. Problem. Damn. King Ted. Yeah, that's real life horror story there. I guess Matt Dillon was going to be in the remake. Oh, come on.

You don't like Matt Dillon? Dylan. Dude, are you serious, though? He was going to be in the American, alleged American version? Yeah, he could have his, could have his teeth from, there's something about Mary.

I guess he could pull it off. I was thinking more Dane DeHan, but, you know. I'd rather have Kevin Dillon. He was one in an entourage, right? Yeah. Yeah. Victory! You guys ever heard that podcast?

Uh-uh, which one? Victory, it's Kevin Dillon, the creator of Entourage, and then the guy that played E from Entourage. They're kind of like run through episode by episode. That sounds pretty cool. I mean, if you're in to Entourage, that would be the hot one.

She's got like, did she get toilet paper? What the hell? Did she just fly? Looks that way. With toilet paper. Dude, she's got holes in her face. Yeah, don't kiss her. Well.

That's got to smell awesome. Oh, man. I'll into it now. There you go. Where was that hand going? Dude, I feel awful kissing my wife in the morning without brushing my teeth first. Is she stealing the gun? That's a smart assompy.

See, he's into this. Oh, big time. Big time. Weirdo. She's just going to bite his gun. nipple off. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Literally. Oh, she is going to bite his nipple off.

She's probably got bugs coming out of her face. What are you doing? Just tick a big bite out of him. That's what you get. Yeah, took a big bite out of him. Fester to the rescue. Uh-oh, now he's going to kill you. Now Fester's

going to be in charge of killing the undead. so that ought to go well. He got asked me. I feel sorry for Italy. Mm-hmm. Hmm. We were just getting to know each other. How many times he got to kill this bitch, right?

That stain ain't coming out. The only woman he ever loved. He only knew her while she was alive for a day. If even that, right? Yeah. Yeah, that looks bad. This is why, like, whether you like it or not,

women run the world. Because that guy is not thinking with his shoulder. You don't think so? But he's the cemetery man. He's got all under control. Like she's a fucking zombie. She's got shit growing out of her face

and she still has a half-friender picture. Mm-hmm. Like, trust me, if it prevents a fight, dude, I'm going out of my way to do that. What? Fuck a zombie? Well, no, but... Okay, here you go, Lance.

The sets for the cemeteries in the film was built on the actual abandoned cemetery ground in Italy. Ah. So, a little bit of both. Okay. I guess it depends on how decomposed they are. I guess so, yeah. I'm kind of surprised that the night shots weren't on a soundstage

because it really didn't look like the outdoors, but I guess it was just the way they felt. filmed it. What hell is that? Something important. Oh, he said, man, you just threw away my life's work. It's my favorite reading. Classic books, huh?

What is it? Phone books that he reads? He's got a big old sweat stain on his butt crack and he's burning books. This guy's a piece of shit. Oh, no, the books are going to come back. As long as they have the roots. Hmm. The hell?

No. Well, this is dumb. It's a book zombie. Hey, but they... At least it looks pretty cool. Yeah, you might be hallucinating. Yeah. That does look awesome, though, huh?

Wouldn't that be awesome at a haunted house or something? Yeah. Was he hallucinating? I don't know. Was he making, like, hollow points or something, sort of? It's putting little cross-ings. on the tips. Ah, okay. And good...

There we go. Good thing Fester didn't get shot. Hmm. Are they just coming for him? Kind of looks that way, right? Sleep Fester alone, huh? Yeah, well, maybe it has something to do with him seeing that that demon or death figure, the skeleton

maybe he's somehow leading them all. Yeah, I don't think my translation on the version I'm watching is very, very accurate to English language at all. Oh, well, you see, Franco Mara is going to get tired of you, should see her grub to hate you, then you'll be free, free. That seems accurate. Is that accurate? I don't know. Oh, my God. What hell's this got talking about?

that's what it said on my screen well hey this guy's out to lunch and the old telephone books didn't buy a zombie yeah one too many hits to the head by a zombie oh but you said bit by a zombie yeah

okay you said hit by a zombie here's the motorcycle you hear the Aussie philip I don't think that's Ozzy Well, you took that quote to heart earlier. The living dead and the dying living are really not that different. Oh.

Sitting up all the hell. Uh-oh, he got to his own name. Now what to do? Cross it out. Is he a serial killer now? Kind of looks that way. Whoa, this camera angle is trippy. Mm-hmm.

Not to mention his. name is de la mortay. Where's his bite? Nagy is just not a lot of help. Not really. Hey, he can play music on an instrument that doesn't have any strings on it, though. It's got to be worth something. You can sure eat some pasta, kind of.

Whatever stays in his mouth. This cop makes me think we've gone back to like a 1920s or 1930s Dick Tracy type cop. Where were you, see? Where were you last night? Between the hours of 11, 12.30, see? I like it. Kill the cop. Oh, that's got to be next, right?

It does sound just like him. Was he out killing people? It looked like he was killing all the motorcycle guys, right? He was angry at their theme song. Very nonchalant. Is that what you guys said earlier about this dude? Yeah, he's like almost too cool to be in this movie. Mm-hmm.

He's too cool to answer any of this cop's questions. Right. Here, let's go into this really sketchy place. This is great. Come on. Ugh. Oh, man. My commentary just doesn't do this justice.

Everybody, unless you're watching this movie along with us, I don't understand how she's still like cognizant and functioning and actually pretty chill for being you know just the head. I don't know what makes me more disgusted. The fact that he just kissed a severed living head or the fact that she's only 14 years old.

Also true. Hey, it's Italy. That might be okay. Is it? I don't think so. I wouldn't think so. If it's not, don't get mad for anybody from Italy listening. Yeah, my bad. I wonder what it's like in Denmark. Lars, you can tell us that.

Oh, her age is right on the thing, right? If they'll show it long enough, isn't that her grave that they're about to dig up? Oh, now that you want to see it, they probably won't show it. Right. This guy's waiting to take pictures. I've been waiting for his... creepy pedophile chops. He's been waiting for a 14-year-old to die. Oh, God. Oh, Philip. That death did not sound very good.

Aye, aye, aye. Ready to shoot. Why did they dig her up? I have no idea. Like I said, I'm pretty sure this is the worst translation I've ever read on a closed caption movie ever. Valentina Dumbed chickens? Yeah, that's what mine says. I'm pretty sure that's not what they said. Your daddy's here. Valenzhen's a dumb kick.

Your daddy's here. Your fascia. You're not going to want to see her. No, this is going to get real weird real quick. Valentina? You're not shocked. Give me back my dead daughter's head. No.

Yeah. He really means it too. She seems pretty happy with the whole situation. I mean, she wanted to buy him, so. Right. She kind of got her wish, I guess. Oh, God. Come on now.

How did that happen? What are the physics behind this? Oh, we just seen a flying head. The same physics that were involved with her hand walking down. He is absolutely too cool for this situation. Oh, no. You're going to piss him off now. Yeah.

I mean, he killed his chick. Right. That's true. It seems like he lives her alive. She was pretty chill. Well, you know, aside from the neck biting. Yeah. Yeah, explain this one.

You see, what happened was... him like that. He's dead. He took a bite out of his neck. Well, not me or not. You take a mold of our teeth. You don't notice him holding his head.

They can see him smiling. He was smiling. The cemetery man, yeah. Cheezing for the camera. Didn't he get bitten? Why is he not dead yet? How long does it take? That's what I'm saying.

When they showed him with his shirt off, it didn't look like he had a bite mark. anymore. This scene's going all the way too long. Oh, man. I just found a cover for this movie in Spanish. It's Minovia Es Un Zombie.

It's the name of the movie in Spain, I guess. There was a movie in the 90s from America. Was there? It was like a teenager cheerleader or something died and became my boyfriend's back. I've not seen that in years.

It's been a while. It's been a while. I do remember that one. Nonchalantly shooting zombies in the head. Sure. Why not? And Fester has to clean it up. Always. Well, it looks like they're starting to take security a little more seriously now.

Well, what's it going to do when zombie heads can just fly on their own? It's not going to help, is it? How have we never seen this movie? I don't know, but I can't believe it's so hard to find. You would think that somebody would have a Blu-ray of this. It's kind of great. Yeah, it's always like a rights thing. Yeah.

Well, I mean, somebody could stand to make some money off of it. Surely you can, you know, come up with an answer when both parties are making a profit, you know? Yeah, there's always somebody greedy. Yeah. Just be careful what Tangerine Dream song you play, right? It's probably where it comes from. But you'd be surprised on how many things are not on Blu-ray. Interesting.

Who is that? Seeing love again? Kind of looks that way, doesn't it? Was that her? That's what I'm thinking. She kind of looked just like her, right? Did it? Mm-hmm. Oh yes, I'll find her.

Yeah, unless he's going to like start seeing her everywhere now. That looks like her. Mm-hmm. Well, maybe she'll take her top off, then we'll know for sure. Yeah, true. That's true. Listen, we're going to have to run his hand. An identity check.

Right. Take the top off. What in the fuck? She just passes out in front of him? Very strange. about to shoot her in the head. Yeah. What better to wake up with than wine?

They revived her. Immediately. Mm-hmm. Damn, she looks great. Is this going to be like her sister or something? I would imagine, yeah. It's got to be, right? Twin sister?

It's as if I've known you forever. Maybe she was like reincarnated or something. She sure aged quickly. Okay. We got a note for sure. Am I right, guys? I think it's going to take it just to make sure that it's the right person.

Like fingerprints. Yeah. Sorry, ma'am. I'm going to have to take your nipple prints. Just to make absolutely sure. Forensics will work. Something to assume is he's like immune to being a zombie or something? I guess.

I mean, sure. Why not, man? Who better to work at the cemetery that someone who's immune to it? Plot twist. He's been a zombie the whole time. Oh, okay. Well, that could be the case.

Pop that heel off. Well, she already lost one shoe when she passed out and he dragged her in there. So it's not creepy at all. Uh, somebody's upset. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

Turn my shovel into a spear. or something. He's not good at hiding shit, though, is he? Somebody's mad. Looks that way. How did we even get here? In his falseway. What kind of specialist is this?

Is he telling him he's having trouble sleeping or what? Uh-uh. I'm not pulling my dick out. Well, okay. You tell me what's wrong when you see this. Come on. I don't have anything to say. That's like, what?

So what's your diagnosis, Doc? Uh-oh. No, he's going in. We're going to have to remove it. The dick rot? Is that what you want to call it? Maybe he has some of the, what you'll call it growing. Oh, the Mandrake Rude or whatever?

Yeah, because, I mean, you're banging dead zombies and your zombies, not dead zombies that could be a risk. Legs up in the stirrups. A little nervous. Not so cool now, are you? Brian, you said that was his

Not So Cool of the Week. What is that? Look what I found. What the fuck is going on? What is happening? Pretty bizarre. I don't think that's how you... That's a horror movie.

Yeah, no kidding. Also, what in the hell? Why did any of that happen? I don't understand what's going on. Pretty bizarre, right? Maybe something was lost in translation. You have a mandrake root grown out of his penis?

Well, remember, Lars from Denmark suggested that other movie for, or is L. Dia de la Bastia. Remember that one? Oh, yeah. I got that coming in 4K. Nice. Maybe this needs to be next.

I feel like I need to watch it again because I'm not sure how, like, just from that scene alone. Right? How did they arrive at that? That's a great question. I think we need a better translation. Because he just hit his head on something and then ended up in the doctor's office where he's like cutting and giving him shots in the penis.

For some completely unknown reason. That dude has got the sweatiest ass I've ever seen in my life. And this guy would know because he just gave him a double hand pat on his ass for some reason. He's like, oh, that was a little swampy. Hey, is that the old lady? Yep, she's finally, she's finally done. Why did that happen? I guess while he was getting his injection.

He just went to the doctor's office and pulled his dick out. Yeah, it seemed like there would be a reason for that. Well, maybe. I mean, I don't typically, you know, hey, Doc, how's going? Yeah, there's kind of a lead-up to that part, not just like, hey, look at this. I just like to show everybody, you know. It's pretty cool it on all this. Hey, how's it going?

I'm Phil. Nice to meet you. Hey, you want to see something cool? Maybe that was just like a shot of Super Viagra or something. Like intravenous Viagra. She lives there now or something? I'm not. I'm trying to keep up with the.

With the words that I'm reading that don't seem to fit together. So she's not going to marry him. She's going to marry somebody else. Who has a lot of money, right? Pester. Oh. Oh, it could be Fester. Maybe Fester played the lottery in one.

But she still loves him. But he's broke, so. And stuck at that funeral home killing zombies every day. apparently from the previous scene he has something weird on his dick. Well, yeah. Ah, that's why she's not marrying him now. She just talked...

If he didn't before, he definitely does now. Is that the marshmallows again? I think Fireflies this time. Okay. Or, you know, little lights hanging from... Fishing wire. Mm-hmm.

There it is. Some more Ozzy. Mm-hmm. So you've got to murder hookers now? Looks like it. No, maybe not. Lost his nerve, yeah. You don't want to talk to him.

He's got something weird on his dick. I thought it couldn't get any weirder until this. What in the up is going on? Wow. Somebody explained. Any listeners, when you hear this, explain what the fuck is happening. Yeah, somebody's got to

got to get this movie, right? Maybe none of this is really happening. I'm starting to lean that. Yeah, well, because how many times have you been drowning your sorrows at the bar and been offered a threesome with two super hot chicks? Maybe everything

was happening up to the point when he got bit. Yeah, now all this is just him hallucinating. Yeah, I could see that. Definitely. He gets too cool when he has a cigarette. Or maybe not now, but she's not even lighting her cigarette.

Oh, here we go. Oh, they lose one? Wow. Yeah. I was going to say something, but I forgot what it was. She is a spectacular human being. I think we have confirmation. Yep, those are definitely the same boobs.

I'm sorry, man. The nipple prints match. I like how I got super quiet until we confirmed. It's not really quiet. I almost want to look this up on Wikipedia because I am so confused on why she keeps popping up. Now, this is somebody different every time, right? Yeah, I think so. Alleged.

He's just seeing her and other people if I had to guess. That would make sense, yeah. Why? I don't mean to keep going there, but she has some fantastic boobs. Really? Seriously. Like, wow. I wonder if they're fake. No, I don't think so. Yeah, don't ruin it for me. Yeah, they look pretty real to me, man.

Oh, now it's time to drink. Well, and this was, you know, I don't know, 94. There were some definitely plenty of fake boobies around then. But they are. They are. her doctor needs a high-five. Fantastic, yes. For sure. Now he has a bite that seems to still be bleeding.

Wait a minute. Are they now asking him for money? Oh, I mean. That's a different girl there. Okay. What's happening? Yeah, that's the one that looks like what's named Rosanna Arquette a little bit.

I can see that. Now he's asking for money. You should both be involved. He's tripping. He's definitely dripping. I'll throw this extremely hot heater on top of you. Oh, this doesn't seem like it's going to well. I just wanted to keep you warm while your bed sheets ignite. This seems like a terrible idea. What are we doing?

Honestly, I didn't know what was going to happen. There it is. It's starting on fire already. He's going to set her on fire. is a foscer Oh man My bed sheets caught on fire I'd probably wake up in time I would think maybe so In fact I think she would have woken up the minute

She felt all that heat on her back right Oh that this fire just escalated Yeah Right Apparently the buildings in Italy are very flammable What to say were they soaked in gasoline or something Yeah I think you guys figured it out Every time he sees

any woman anywhere he sees face. Oh, no, don't cut the birds. Oh, there's the cop again. So where were you last night? Did he write him a check? He wrote a hooker a check. Come on. Are you serious?

That really seems like a bad idea. And that's the only part that didn't burn was his name. How convenient. Oh, man Are we back at the doctor's office? I think so.

Or he's in an institution now, huh? Listen, if you're dumb enough to write a hook or a check, you belong in an institution. What hooker accepts a check? Ay, aye. That ain't hurt. That's me. that's him right

ah here comes the big to em night twist right if this was m night he'd he would have been playing the doctor or somebody yeah he would have shown up somewhere right

he would have been the nurse yeah or he would have been he would have been the pimp for those hookers yeah is that him dude

I'm so lost it looks like uh his name from the Sopranos. Tony? No, Christopher Maltesante. The heroin guy?

Yeah. Yeah. Hmm. Well? What? Oh, shit. Okay. I don't know what's going on now. We're so far past the point of no return. To be fair, she kind of had it coming.

So, uh... Damn, Phil. people listening a nun came in to tell him to put his cigarette out and he immediately shoots her in the head yeah as nonchalantly as he did all those zombies at the beginning yeah but she was kind of being a bitch about it so and we got yeah how dare she has to put a cigarette in a hospital oh wait it is in Italy you're right you're right she had it had nicely it would be a different story oh bye doctor Now that seems unnecessary. See, he could have left the doctor because he clearly didn't care about the nun that he just walked over.

This looks very suspiciously like a David Cronenberg set, the way that the sets set up. I don't think that's how that tube works. You don't think that's going to work? I don't think you just place it like right there. just put it back in the mouth like a cigarette uh-oh get the hell out you're dead you know it's probably a good idea if you walk into a room

with a bunch of fucking dead bodies and don't go in that room maybe run as fast as you can in the other direction weird well that doesn't seem like it's normal hospital mean something and I don't know what it is because that was definitely him, right? Maybe.

Maybe so. No, he has a gun run the other way. What the fuck is happening? This has to be a hallucination. Oh, from the whole movie, you mean? No, I'm convinced

when he got bit. Mm-hmm. Like he's, I don't know, maybe having some kind of fever dreams or something. Favorite dream? That makes sense. And now he's randomly shooting. Fester has to clean that up now.

Is Fester really still alive? Well, he never gets any respect, that's for sure. We haven't seen him in a while. Any of this anymore. No. Fester's been conspicuous in his absence for a while now. Well, that was a... There he is. Somebody asked for Fester? There he is.

now you're sick of killing yes you'd say he's gotten it out of his system well listen he did have an awful lot of people that just came in talking shit all at once who had no business being in that room at all with gunshots and dead bodies right even the statues are talking and that is creepy as hell is it fast going to sit on the car

what was the Italian name again of death of love right Yeah, yeah. There's probably all kinds of really intelligent symbolism here. Yeah, I think there's really some probably great illusion here that we're too busy making fun of the big ones. The hell? But listen, I mean, to be fair, the guy was at the doctor's office and he just stood up and took his pants off. So you're just fighting that shit.

Yes, faster. you guys are about to die. They had the Iugo horn. They just knocked death off a bicycle. But are they playing bark at the moon or whatever in the background? It does

sound a little hell razory. I don't think it's exactly the song. Not exactly, huh? But when you run death off the side of the road on a bicycle, it's probably not going to end well. Wait a then. Colorado all of a sudden?

Yep. Yeah, I know. It seemed like they were in the middle of fucking nowhere, and now suddenly they're on like this giant highway. Mm-hmm. With these big modern tunnels. Poor fester. It would have been bad.

Yeah. No warning signs or anything, huh? This is all got to be symbolic, right? It's just way over our heads. Whose casket is falling down there? I thought that was Fester's suitcase. Oh, maybe that was his musical instrument, right? He really just, he died from that.

I guess. Yeah, just roll them up. Well, I guess I have to throw the body off the edge now. Mm-hmm. Is it the bullets with the crosses on them? Yep. Is it snowing now? Yeah.

Well, they're in the mountains. They're in the snow globe. Oh, no. I think you just, you solved it, man. It's crampus. That's what it is. It's crampus. Okay, so not that I know anything about the physics of snow because I live on the beach. Brian, help us out here. Does snow do that? The way it's coming down, swirling around everywhere.

The way it's like hanging on his hair and just floating around. No. Yeah, no. Like, it looks like a. No. A piece of, like, tracing paper that it has been treaded. I know usually some of these movie sets use instant mashed potatoes. That's what that looks like, actually. You're right.

Like powdered, powdered potatoes or whatever. Yeah. It looks like my dog tore up a pillow. Hey, they're going to need that. Yeah, why do you throw the gun away? Why is he sitting on the edge? Why are his pants two feet too short? like there's

Brian called it it's a problem oh look at that straight up a stow globe all right none of this was actually happening so final thoughts gentlemen wait a fucking second

what in the hell final thoughts I enjoyed it I thought some of the effects were pretty good I like the characters in it, but I think this definitely deserves a second watch

because there is a lot going on. Maybe 28. I thought there were some great A, four in boobies. Yeah, right. And what more do you need? No, this was a lot of fun. Lars, you really know how to pick a man.

This one in El Dia de la Bastia were both like total mind fucks and kind of made me wish that I'd had something else with me here while I was watching it. Maybe we would have understood it better. Had it been more, what do they say, green, Brian? Yeah. Probably could. Yep, we might, we might recommend that a nice, what year and what type would you say, Brian, to accompany this particular three Michelin Star meal.

I've always been fond of the White Widow. Okay. And I was White Widow and a Pellegrino. All right. Well, as always, we want to thank you guys for listening to another episode of the horror returns. We'd love to hear your feedback and ideas. You know, where to reach us. Yeah, leave us an iTunes review.

Nobody has left a new one, and that's why we have not been able to give out the Shining or Psycho Gorman. What was the third one, Brian? Monster Hunter. All right, Monster Hunters. You'll get to take your pick. And if you just simply put a review. in and put the full review, you're probably going to win

the Blue Ray at this point. Next week, hey, we get to check out a new movie, guys. We saw the trailer for this one, Jacob's wife. Okay, 2013... Sounds sexy. You know what?

Byzantium, is that the one that has the girl who played Hannah and, like, their vampire sisters or something like that? Yep. Yeah, great movie. Have you seen it, Phil? No. Okay. We'll see. I think you're going to enjoy it. Yeah. I definitely have heard of it. Maybe I've seen it. I don't think so, though. All right. Well, so it's, I guess, Vampire Week,

and we can hopefully get more feedback on our question about the severed legs growing back and whatnot. So, Brian, until the horror returns again. Good night.