The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #259: Tim Davis’ Patreon Picks: Jaws: The Revenge (1987),The Lost Boys (1987) & The Fanatic (2019)

Episode Date: May 12, 2021

The beauty of the Patreon shows is your movies can be anything.  Tim Davis joins us from Horror For Dummies as we review Jaws: The Revenge, The Lost Boys, and The Fanatic..... That's probably all you need to know about this one.  Try to guess scores before it starts.  They're all over the map.

Regings victims, for those of you who delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify gore, welcome. You have found the place where the horror returns. Listeners beware. This podcast contains major plot spoilers. and the foulest of language. Join us in celebrating the old and the new, the best, and the worst in horror. I'm Lance, and with me as always,

my co-host, Brian Phillip. Hopefully Kevin will show up a little bit later, but the star of the show tonight, you know him well. Your friend, my friend, everybody's friend. It's Tim from Australia. What's up, man? Hey, man, the star, eh?

That's a big, that's a big call. There you go. You've got a fucking YouTube channel. We don't. A struggling YouTube show. Yeah, we do. Thanks for having me, guys. This will be a fun show.

I'm so keen to talk about all these movies, one in particular, and the fanatic. I cannot believe that you guys have never reviewed the fanatic. I know. I was thinking the same thing. My wife told me, she's like, didn't you already do this movie? I was like, we didn't review it. She was like, yes, you did. I saw you watching that stupid fucking movie. We talked about it enough.

Yeah, we talked about it. We didn't review it. I watched it because everybody watched it. We talked about it on your show, Tim. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That was back in April, right? It was about this time?

Yeah, it would have been. Yeah, yeah. And I mean, it was always going to happen. You were always going to review that movie, whether it be me or Bied and Marcy. It was always some Australian that was going to make you review the fanatic. It seems that way, right? Is it more of an Australian thing? This will be a fun conversation.

Oh, yeah. Well, as I like to do from time to time, guys, I'm recording on location. No, I'm not in the city. I'm not in the city of Grames on Hollywood Boulevard, but I am at Panama City Beach, and we did see a shark earlier, and shit loads of manor raised.

No, you did not. You saw a shark in the water? Saw a shark in the water, dude. No. Like a small, I guess they call them dog sharks down here. Oh. We all know Great Whites don't come south, right, Tim? I mean, Great Whites don't go in the Bahamas.

mom is either, but Joel's a revenge apparently does. No, there's, uh, I've, I've, I've looked up the shark tags. There's been some great whites in the Gulf, like right off the coast of Galveston before. Oh, I'm sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no doubt. But it's, uh, yeah, any of the sharks will fuck you up. Yeah. Great white, they've all got teeth, right? So I might, I might walk outside in a little bit so our, our listeners can get the sounds of, Panama City Beach. Like I said, we've got wrap on one end of the beach in front of us and country down on the other and white trash everywhere in between. And I think I possibly seen three people wearing masks in the three days that we've been here.

Welcome to Florida. Yeah, apparently COVID doesn't exist here. Well, you got the vaccine. I've got the vaccine. That was what I'm saying. I mean, if we get the vaccine, just take the masks off, right? You know what? You know what?

It's a hell of a petri dish that I'm swimming in right now, Phil. Yeah. So we're going to find out next week. COVID is the least of your worries. You've got to watch how for syphilis. Yeah, no shit. Just swimming in the water. But we're having fun, man.

It's cool. Brian, you got to get down to the beach with us. Actually, you know what? We should all get to New Orleans sometime. All kidding aside. Yeah. We definitely need to set up a horror returns. We can't really call it a Paloosa,

because that might be a copyright infringement, right, Brian? Yeah, I can't do that. But we should set up a horror returns get together. I think New Orleans would be the perfect place. We could do like a haunted tour. We could go in a couple of the voodoo shops, drink lots of hurricanes you know yeah

I like it the horror returns voodoo tour eh I don't know all right well if we're lucky Nnaz will be with us but what's up with you guys

this week Tim what have you been up to man oh Jesus everything it's been busy as hell down down under just with uh just on the podcast side got the YouTube channel going

got the Patreon side going, just trying to keep up with movies that have been coming out. It's been busy, man. But I'm having fun. Nice. All right. Well, I'll jump then. I did get to watch C-Cronic and it was pretty fucking cool. Yeah, I like it.

It was not what I expected it to be. For some reason, I thought it was like a frequency type movie. There's another one that is, though, right? Yeah. I see where you might have gotten that idea. Yeah, but that's not what it was at all. It was very cool. I like the ideas behind it and where they went with it.

It kind of reminded me a little. Not that the plot was the same, but you guys remember John dies at the end, the one where they took the soy sauce and they'd go in like an ultimate dimension. I love that movie. Yeah, definitely had some of that in it, not as heavy on the comedy maybe. Yeah, yeah.

A little bit more serious. Is it possibly going to be in your top 10 old? so man um maybe i mean i don't know if it was a it wasn't immediately a top 10 movie for me but i enjoyed it it was uh it was it was a fun watch and then um my wife was watching the uh selina tv series with uh the chick from the walking dead in it yeah nez hates that show he said not my soul he did hashtag not my selina yeah she needs a little a little more meeting about a foot on her, I'm sure. But still, I mean, it was a pretty

decent show. Yeah, supposedly, my wife is Selena's cousin. We're all from Texas, ma' so it's certainly possible, right? I had some Quintanillas that went over to San Antonio and some Quintanillas that came over to Texas or at Houston.

And she was from the the side that came to Houston. Well, I know her brother's still got a band going on and some of the rest of her family. Her dad was a musician apparently, right? Yeah. And that's where she says that because her mom, Rosa's mom knew Selena's dad when they were kids, I think. Oh, cool.

Or something along those lines. Yeah. I wouldn't be surprised at all. We're all related here in Texas, Tam. We're all either inbred or somehow. Now, don't go too far. It's not Mississippi. Just kidding.

Oh, dude, that's what hit me first, Philip, when we were on the way here and we stopped and they have a Buckees in Alabama. Oh, yeah? And yeah, you know how the Buckees in Texas are pretty strict, right? Oh, yeah. Asking everything. They're nice. I don't think there was a mask in sight in this.

elephant. Oh, yeah. Even the fucking employees, man. They're like, fuck it. Hey, you know what, dude? I'm all for it. I haven't actually had the vaccine yet, but I'm really tempted to get it if we can get to a point to where it's like,

okay, the vaccine is available to everybody. If you've had it, don't worry about the mask. If you haven't, well, that's on you. Yeah, I think that's what Foussey was saying. He said, it's time to start loosening restrictions. so people will be more tempted to get the vaccine, right? Right, which is a strange thing to say, but... Well, and then they opened up Pfizer today to 12 to 15-year-olds.

You hear about that? Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, they're actually recommending it. They authorized it for 12 to 15-year-olds, so... Well, I mean, I haven't heard anything negative about it, so... So far, I haven't grown an extra foot or gotten any webbed, webbed fingers or anything like that. So, so far so good.

I was just going to kind of wait and see just in case. And so far so good. So let's get back to it. Yeah. I think we're up to what, 1.3 billion now. Yeah. So worldwide. So, you know, pretty good sample size, right?

Yeah. But enough talk of that. Tim, what's your cool of the week, man? All right. Wow. I got two, well, one and a half really, and I won't talk too much about it because I'm sure Brian's seen it. That Netflix, oh, sorry, not Netflix, Shudder, exclusive, fried Barry. I'm halfway through that and I don't know if it's really a cool of the week because I don't know whether to continue watching it or not.

Brian, I'm sure you've seen it, so I won't talk too much about it. But my cool of the week, for the first time ever, I'm deep diving back into the 80s films, mostly 1984. And I watch for the first time ever, the Toxic Avenger. I've never really been a big fan with trauma films. Yeah. But I've never seen this one. Yeah. Yeah, it's a different type of film, I guess you can say.

But damn, the Toxic Avengers are a lot of fun. Yeah. It's definitely trauma. Like, it's got that silly and over-the-top vibe to it. But I don't know. I just, I enjoyed this one. It's got the more superhero type feel than rather than a horror icon feel to it. But it's just fun.

I had a good time with it. So, yeah, definitely. I'm keen to check out the other ones too because I've never seen any of the Toxie Avenger movies. So, yeah, I'm going to give the next one to go soon. So that's really all I've been up to this week, man. Not much. I haven't watched them since I was a kid, man.

I kind of want to watch it now. Yeah, look, I'm keen to see the sequels. I'm keen to see where it goes, because I've heard people say that the sequels aren't as great, and it kind of takes a dive. But, yeah, I'm excited. Nice. Brian? You want me to go next, fan?

I can go. Because I don't have a cool of the week, but I have two, not so cool of the week. No, I guess I have a cool of the week. I guess I can throw one in there. You want to jump in, Brian? Yeah, I did watch Friedberry. I liked it for the most part. It kind of, the first half of the movie, I was with it.

And then the second half, it just kind of, like the craziness kind of wound down by the second half. Really? Yeah. But I dug it for the most part, I mean, especially if you watch it in a, certain state of mind, then it would be a lot enjoyable. But I can see why a lot of people have been talking about this. So I do kind of recommend it. Check it out.

Just got on Shutter what Friday. Okay. I'll finish it. I'll recommend it. Second one I checked out was Benny loves, Benny loves you. the little puppy that kills. The little toy, right? Yeah.

I dug it too. You got to kind of get past the whole idea of this little toy. Getting mad because the owner kind of put it away in a closet and, you know, trying to get rid of his childhood things and decides to go on a murdering rampage. Like Toy Story of the Hurry Movie? Yeah, there you go. So And what else do I watch?

I'm, me and Nez, we reviewed Friday the 13th part two for the 40th anniversary. So I'm kind of going through the franchise. I think I'm up to five now. Wow. They all kind of start mixing together. I think after five.

Yeah. Do they? don't they have a lot of like a lot of those movies will do like a previously on Friday the 13th and they'll do like a montage of old kill scenes at the beginning yeah that's great well but then you end up getting into the remakes and stuff where they you know chasing in space and all that that one's super fun it is

yeah stay away from leprechaunin so. Okay. All right. It's no left in the hood. I've got to. I got a, I've got a, dude.

I wanted to like this movie, man. Octavia Spencer. I mean, I know exactly what to say. Yeah. Melissa McCarthy, normally very funny.

This is a Thunderforce thing, man. Oh, yeah. Jesus Christ, what is Netflix doing with the comedies, man? I mean, fuck, between this and like Eurovision and... Yeah. You're like three or four just fucking duds. What are we paying for, this extra $1 every other month or something like that?

The movies are getting worse and worse. This movie was horrible. Just terrible. Did anybody like this? I didn't even bother watching it. Oh, man, don't waste your time. dude. Yeah, no, it was bad. Like, I think

Melissa McCarthy, there's something there. But God damn it, she plays this same dumb-ass character in every five movies. Yeah, how many times did she fall down? Yeah. Yeah, I guess she's at the point now where people are just going to watch your movies, right? So she's kind of like, she's...

Not if she keeps coming out with this bullshit. She's got... We need another bridesmaid. Where'd that guy go? Whoever created that one? That we need another one of those, a sequel. I don't know. I guarantee it wasn't the same director.

There's no way. It was directed by her husband, who was in bridesmaids with her. Did he really? Did he direct this one? Yeah, he directed something else that she was into that wasn't good. I can't remember what it was. Great. Oh, man.

I'll tell you have a cool of the week. I'll bring it up. Brian, you recommend a this one? and having been to Ireland before I loved a lot of the photography of the landscape and I could definitely understand that there would be

a like a stone ruin set up where a vampire is buried. You know where I'm going here Brian? Oh yeah. Boys from County, hell, this was a fucking fun movie. This was a Shudder movie you guys have to check out. Have you seen it, Tim?

It's not on Shudder in Australia, so I can't see it. Oh, no, you got fun, man. I know. I keep hearing people talking about it, and it sounds right up my alley, so I'm keen to see it. Perfect, perfect blending of gore and comedy. Great, great movie. Great movie. I highly recommend this one.

Probably not quite a top ten, but it's up there. It's a lot more good than bad for sure. So you want to check out, avoid Thunderforce, check out boys from County Hill. All right. Shit. I'll check it. All right, Brian. We got some headlines, man.

We got a few. I'm going to start with Chad Michael Murray. He was in the movie House of Wax. He was the brother to the main actress in the movie that they didn't really seem like brother and sister. Seemed like something else was going on. Didn't he used to be on some fucking, didn't he used to be on some teeny bopper show in the 90s or something? He probably was. Well, he's going to play Ted Bundy in an upcoming movie called American Boogie Man.

What? Boy, they're really jumping on this Ted Bundy thing. They are, they are. Who's next, Dane Dahan? Dane Dhan's going to play his own serial killer in a few years. Literally. He's going to be in that dead. Stephen King series that's coming out.

Oh, that's like Lizzie's story, right? Yeah. They released some pictures, and he looks like he's half sleep in the picture. Heroin's a hell of a drug. Let's see. I mentioned, I think, a week or two ago, that they pulled the paranormal activity from its schedule. Well, now they're saying

the new movie will come out before the end of the year, and it's going straight to Paramount Plus. Well, then why fucking pull it? Why not show it now? You can watch Paramount Plus and Home Now. Fuck, you can go to the movie. Are the cinemas open there, Tim?

Yeah, they've been opened for months now. Oh, what's the mask policy there? Are people masking up or not anymore? So the mask policy has literally, just we had one case one one little outbreak uh last weekend and they put the mask rule back into effect before that we were mask free for months and months um so yeah okay we're back yeah it's yeah it's it's it's like kind of gone going here like it's very rare you get cases but yeah just just don't

i'm not gonna say it we can't go political i almost made a really bad joke, man. Yes, move on. All right, and the last thing we are going to mention here is, do you guys remember faces of death? Of course. I love that in high school,

man. This is getting a reboot. Now, check this out. The director is going to be Daniel Gold Harbor. He did that Netflix movie Cam. Oh, yeah, okay. And this is coming from

legendary entertainment where they do Godzilla versus Kong so it's strange that this this big budget studio is getting involved with faces of death

huh yeah I don't the only reason the original worked was because you did it was like oh is this real you know yeah parachuting guy landing in the alligator farm

yeah well But that was the, like, I thought that was real when I was watching it as a kid. It looked pretty real, didn't it? Crazy fucking thing, right? That's what faces death was. I don't know if it was real or not. I assume it's probably fake, but we didn't know it had time.

But now that you know it, it's officially a movie, who's going to watch this shit? I would, but, you know. Have you guys, have you guys ever seen that eight, that like 10 or 15 minute long alien autopsy? Yeah. I remember watching it on TV? I was freaking out. It's just real? Is this happening?

What the fuck? We're due for another faces of death, for sure. He can have it. I'm not interested. And I think that's it. I think that's it. Is that it? Yeah.

All right, Tim. You ready to go to the trailer part? I'm always ready already here motherfucker I'm in Panama City Beach dude I shits you not half a mile down from the house that we're staying in

there is a trailer park that is literally down lower than sea level on the other side of the main road what doesn't seem like that good place all right Brian

bring us to the small and the very very weird man that is all right there all right the first one is women women the synopsis goes

a small town detective investigates into a sociology professor when a mutilated body is found and women have been women have gone missing from this class this stars

Anne Marie Dobbins Anna Mesh Kylie Delray Adam Dorsey and a bunch of other people this is direct yeah directed by Anton

can't pronounce his names directed by Anton so Anton all right you guys think of women you know I I don't know I don't it it's hard to tell

what really what it's about, but it looks pretty interesting. Yeah. It's the same shit I say about every fucking trailer that we watch, but you know what I mean. It was a cool trailer. Yeah. It got my attention. Oh, sorry.

I'm coming in the complete opposite here. I'm so fucking sick of rape revenge-type movies or anything to do with rape. I'm overseeing it. And this one kind of looks like it's going in that direction. I'll still see it because I have to, but I don't know,

I just wasn't keen for this trailer. Yeah, I agree with you. It looks like we've seen this a thousand times. Somebody is abducting women and keeping them and making him do whatever he wants. And I'm sure somebody's going to escape and oil all of his plans. Cut the guys' balls off, hopefully, right? what movie was that?

Hard candy. That's right. She put the eyes on. I don't I don't mind watching that kind of movie even if it's just another one in the series as long as it's not too you know,

black Christmassy about it. Whatever do you mean, sir? Yeah, I mean, if they've got this big heavy-handed social justice bullshit, then they can get out here with that bullshit. But if it's like a legit movie, and I'm totally ready to watch it. That's kind of, yeah, that's kind of the thought I had while watching it. I'm like, great, another movie about a guy being a fucking douchebag raping women. Yeah.

All right, it got my attention, guys. Sorry. I actually kind of want to see this. The trailer made it look interesting to me. So there. I'm in. I'm in. All right. We shall see.

They won Lance over. Apparently this movie came out March 26, which I think that probably is... Not a good sign? No, festival release. I don't think it's released fully yet. Okay. But Lance will be there. Oh, I will be there. I'd probably be on Shudder in a month, right? Or Netflix.

I see. To be Well, then I'm definitely in Because that's totally free All right, our second and final trailer Is Dementia Part 2 Did anybody see part one? I don't remember Ticketya part one.

There's probably reason for that. Let's see. Suzanne wasn't A bitcha. All right, sorry. Suzanne wasn't always this confused. she wasn't always dead either. When an ex-con takes a job as a handyman for an unstable elderly woman to avoid parole violation, it becomes a choice.

And it cuts off right there. Comes a choice he may regret. This stars Suzanne Voss, Matt Mercer, Nahara Townsend, Graham Skipper, Stacy Snyder, and directed by Matt Mercer. So he is starring and directing. And he also wrote it. Hmm. Well.

Tim. So at first watch, this kind of looked very low budget. And then I watched it again. And I realized that most of this cast was from another movie called Contracted, which I fucking loved. So I have high hopes for this. It looked, it started off very generic and then the rest of the trail was like, all right, all right, you have my attention. So I can pretty much confidently say that this won't be a film that will be in my top 10, but I'm keen to check this one out.

Nice. Yeah, like I'm an electrician and so I've been in some crazy people's houses before. And there's always that moment where I'm like, I'm not going to die, right? But because of that, I think it looks pretty interesting. But yeah, it does look super low budget. And obviously, I've never heard of dementia one. I searched up. It actually is a dementia one.

What's that? There actually is a dementia. Yeah. Part one, direct by the same guy. Have you seen it? The same guys. No, I've never even heard of it. Oh, yeah.

See, I was like, but I you know maybe it's the same budget whatever I'll watch it it looks interesting Lance you know what it got this one got my attention too I mean I thought it it looked really it looked really interesting and different from what you normally see I like the black and white filming the actress Tim is is that the same actress that was in contracted the really beautiful. I mean, she's almost like got statuesque beauty, this chick. Like almost the perfect

loose, right? Yeah, I think she was in another movie called The Stylist, which came out this year. Oh, I've been thinking of many people to watch that. Yeah, I'm in. I'm completely in, but I do want to go back and watch Dementia Part 1 then. So we've got to figure out

where we can catch this movie. I'm thinking if we've never heard of it, it might not be worth it. I'm in. I'm in. I'm in. plus I'm looking at the runtime, it says an hour and seven minutes, so you can't go wrong with that. Come on. I hope. As long as it doesn't fuck me up on the new movie. All right. This one comes out May 21st.

I'm assuming VOD. Yep. And that's it. All right. On to listener feedback. The podcast spotlight. shines on Kaboom!

Kaboom! Never heard of that one, Tim. What a shit show. Covering all things, pop culture. Kaboom, episode 8, The Last Jedi is finally out. That'd be fun. Sorry for the delay, but it's here

and ready for your ears to snack on. The Kaboom crew discusses everything about The Last Jedi, and listen out for some new segments. And for the second week in a row, we are skipping listener feedback since we are again covering three films. But don't worry. Eventually it will be back. So please keep those

cards and letters coming. Cards and letters. But you know what I mean. And then you can listen to me drunkenly stumble over on next episode. But as always, our show intro comes from Steve Carlton of the League of Geeks. Artwork is from Natsalani. if you'd like to help us out, please consider becoming a Patreon patron, which is why we have this show today.

We'll let you pick the movies for a future show at any amount, and for $5 or more a month, also pick a commentary for a future bonus show. And if you have a chance, please give us a five-star Apple podcast review. You can win a steelbook copy of The Shining or Psycho-Gorman

if your name is... Well, I think that was given away now, but... I got one more to give away. One more. Uh-oh. get it while they last ladies and gentlemen and that's it on to our featured attractions

uh shout out to our best patreon patron tim davis as we cover jaws the revenge the lost boys and the fanatic how to pick them huh one of these

one of these films is not like the other So we'll start out with that one. Jaws the Revenge. Chief Brody's widow believes that her family is deliberately being targeted by another shark in search of revenge. And this time it's personal. Director is Joseph Sargent, also known for the taking of Pelham 1, 2, 3, and Nightmares. Huh.

That wouldn't have a bad movie. Writers are Michael de Guzman, also known for the TV show Amazing Stories. This is one of Michael Cain's notorious paycheck movies. And when Cain was asked about this movie in interview, he answered, I have never seen it, but by all account, it's terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built, and it's terrific. That seems like a very Michael Cain thing to say. Yeah, I would think so. I'm Orson Power's Fasher.

She's very tight. Roy Schneider was offered a cameo but declined, stating Satan himself could not get me to do Jaws part four. He did get a hold of Michael Caine, though. Tim, what do you think about Jaws the revenge? Why did you pick this one? So, man, shit. What to say about Jaws Revenge? Okay, so this was a film, one of like five films that I just religiously watched when I was a kid.

It was Jaws One and this Jaws Revenge were the only two films at my Nana's place, my grandmother's place. And when I went over there, it was super boring. So that was all that was really to do. And I just fell in love with this film. growing up and learning more about film, I realized how bad this film is. And quite honestly, like, I could write it in acyclopedia on the problems this film has. Yet, for me, it just comes back to nostalgia.

I just love this film from start to finish. I honestly believe that it has one of the best soundtracks out there. It's probably on par with the original Jaws with soundtrack. I just love it. I love everything about it. I love the setting. I love the shark, even though it's 95% out of the water most time. And for some reason, it roars.

I just love this movie from start to finish. Yes, it is a fucking piece of shit. And it is honestly, I'll agree with most people. It is one of the worst films ever made. But it's so entertaining. I don't think you can sit there and say, on board with this movie. Because it's just so much fun. And if I'm going to be honest, man, I would, and I know a few people have agreed with me in saying this, but I think that Jaws 3 is a worse sequel than this.

I think this is, in my humble opinion, this is the, and it's only me, I get that. This is the second best Jaws film in the franchise just because I find it so entertaining. So, I mean, I could speak for hours about what this film means for me, but I don't want to clog up the feed. Yeah, this movie's just great. I love it for its entertainment value. Let's say that. Entertainment value. Brian, what do you think about the entertainment value of Jaws to Revenge?

I find this movie highly entertaining. I figured you would. I mean, it's a ridiculous premise. This shark is getting revenge. I'm assuming the relative of the original Jaws. and it's so bad it's good i mean right down to michael kane obviously phoning it in mario band people's with his accent that's going in and out and uh which which version did you guys watch because i know there's a version where he dies at the end and then there's the other one where he

just like pops up in the water and he's still alive for some reason that's the one i saw fucking serious. Yeah. Yeah, I definitely saw the live at the end. I saw it on HBO Max. Yeah, that was that was a scene they added. I don't know why. I can't wait to talk about it. Hold the fuck up a second.

Yeah. I mean, I guess we're going into total fantasy towards the end of that movie, but you know. But I will say when I was a kid, that one scene scared the shit out of me. When all those people were riding in that banana boat, The banana boat. Yeah.

And the shark just comes out of the water and grabs that lady. You know that child is fucked up for the rest of her life. Oh, yeah. She's never going back in the water. But I enjoy this movie. I enjoy all the Jaws movies. And I will say I ranked number two above this, Tim. I rewatch that one.

And I found myself kind of, yeah, I found myself. Even though I know everybody that's going to die in it, I was still like, no, get out of the water. You know, it still had that moment for me. So I would go one, two, four, and then three. I'm happy with that. As long as you put number three lost, I'm happy. Lance, what did you think about it? I can't believe what I'm hearing.

I honestly can't. I mean, yeah, there was some gigs. and stuff like that. The original Jaws film is one of my favorite horror movies of all time. It's easily in my top five up there with

alien, with possibly aliens, with the big number one, of course, the Exorcist. I mean, maybe Mid-Somar is going to get up there eventually, maybe hereditary, maybe one of those will make it, I don't know.

You guys, Tim, You fucking ignorant slut, you, man. How dare you you fucking insult me with this fucking piece of shit. Oh, turn your mic off. There is no redeeming qualities to this whatsoever, man. We're going to make history on my score tonight. I kid you not.

This is my Black Christmas. I'm just, man. This was so insulting, so incredibly demeaning to the original. concept of Jaws. The only, the only,

no, there's no redeeming qualities. I laugh my ass off at the end, but for all the wrong reasons. This movie should have, was this movie in our, this wasn't in our March Madness show this year, was it? You had Jules three. How could this, how could this

have possibly missed second best worst movie? Jesus Christ. You've got Mario Van Peebles as an island guy. I think he's the palest guy on the cast. How am I going to believe this guy's really from Jamaica

for fuck's sake? Michael Kane, you said he was phoning it in? Brian, you're big for understatement. Jesus Christ, he wasn't even there. Yeah, he was. He flew the plane. Oh, my God. Plan crashed in the water. I can't even believe this.

He was talking shit, and then the shark came out, and he was like, oh, shit, and then popped back in the plane. guys the stupid that was great line and then he lived he swam out in the plane and lived

and that ending if there's a different ending Michael Cain's old ass popped up on the end I'll tell you what I'll give you this if there's an alternate alternate ending

where Van Peebles dies I'll give it 0.25 higher than what I'm going to give it but the way it stands right now you literally saw the guy being torn a fucking part yeah

and drag way down to the bottom of the ocean. And then he pops up at the end. I mean, guys, seriously, Tim, really? This is really one of the three movies you wanted to pick. You get one shot that Patreon picks you can pick any three

movies, man. You really, honestly, threw this garbage at me. It's like you threw, you didn't throw a turd at me. You took a diaper filled with diarrhea. And you flung it at me, Tim. You fucking flung it at me, man. I can have to leave.

we don't throw boop, we throw diapers. I haven't even started talking about the plot. All kidding aside, guys, what in the fuck? Revenge? A shark? It's in the title. You know what? Number one, sharks don't even come after and attack people. Sharks, if they're provoked in the water, they might, you know, have to fight against,

they don't come after you as food. They see you and you're too big. They would swim the other way and go for easier meat. Lance, wait. You wait till we review Orca. Oh, my God. Guys, really, this is insulting. I can't even say anymore.

I've got to pass the mic to Phil because I'm mad. I'm burning up, angry right now. I will tell you this, Tim. It was very ironic that the grandkids, the day before yesterday, said, hey, they saw a banana boat go by and they said, hey, let's rent that banana boat. I said, fuck, no. Not happening. Oh man, this is terrible.

Terrible. I got to pass the mic. I've got to. Just quickly, Lance, can I just say that this movie is better than Pet Cemetery remake? Okay. I'm passing the mic. Well, you know what?

Maybe it is some sort of synchronicity thing. Like, it's, there's, because I've been watching, I watch a lot of YouTube shit. And there's been like shark videos that popped up. I just saw,

one where this lady was swimming next to a 20 foot great white shark. It was jaws. Oh, big blue. Yeah. And just free diving in a wetsuit and went and like touched his fin. No, thank you.

Yeah, I was like, holy shit, if you get eaten, you deserve it. But it was kind of amazing. Sharks have always scared these shit out of me. And I've never actually seen this movie. I love

Jaws. It's been one of my favorite since I was a kid. You know, I don't know that I get all the hate from this movie. Like, it's definitely bad. You know, the big rubber shark. No, that's fine, dude. That's fine. If you've got a decent

story and a decent plot that's scary and makes sense, like the original Jaws or even Jaws too, that's fine. You know what? I've got brand new respect for Jaws 3. having seen this film. Well, but then we get to a Godzilla versus Kong sort of conversation where is the movie about the plot? Because or is the movie about the monster?

And this one, they do focus a whole lot on the people. But I don't hate the people in this one. It definitely had a dumb plot with the shark. I mean, you have to definitely suspend. your belief on this one. And especially at the end of it, that's when it got out of control. And I was like, okay, what the fuck are we doing? Like they ram the shark with the boat and he explodes.

And then dude that got eaten pops up at the end. He's just like limping along and he's fine. What was that? What was that Rube Goldberg contraption? I don't know. I don't even understand what the point. was it just to lure him over there? What was he going to do with the spear?

Unbelievable. Unbelievable. You guys are fucking off your, off your rockers, guys. I don't get it. I don't understand how any of you. It's so bad it's good that it's bad.

I don't know if that's a new thing. This movie to me is so bad that it's good, that it's bad. It's that bad to me. It caught my attention about halfway, like, okay, So for the first probably 45 minutes, I wasn't really paying attention to it. It was just on in the background and I'm like, why am I watching this dumbass movie?

And then the last 45 minutes was pretty action-packed and had, you know, relationship stuff going on and the semi-gay thing with the two lead males, Mario Van Peebles and what's his nut? Was there a whole? The last Starfighter? A little. I don't know. Come on. Philip, you're reaching, man. You're reaching.

Maybe. I don't know. They were awfully close. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But, uh, no, I, I, I didn't hate it. I mean, the end was dumb, but I still didn't hate it. All right. I mean, there, there is a, um, an alternative ending with what happens to the shark.

Instead of the shark just blowing up after the, the boat hits it. The shark gets impaled by the boat and just dies out due to blood loss, which is more believable. Yeah, that makes a little more sense. I didn't understand why it exploded. Give me the explosion. Yeah, it's got something to do with that tracking. And if you go to the novelization, why not? Tim, Tim, are you telling me there's like 48 alternate endings to this movie or what? But this movie, and it has a novelization to it. And in the novel, the, the reason the shark's after the family is because there's for some reason a voodoo priest who commands the shark to go after this family.

Oh, right. See, that's a whole different movie. Now it makes sense. Yeah. I don't know why it didn't put it in the movie. Like, there's a lot of shit that happens in this movie. For example, like Ellen Brody is having flashbacks to the first jaws of her husband fighting the shark, which she wasn't even there.

So I don't understand that. I mentioned before the shark roaring. which I even searched up on Google if sharks have vocal cords, which I don't know why I did that, but I did. They don't. See, Tim,

you just added fuel to my fire. That's insulting too, man, that they showed all the fucking stock footage and they showed the flashback. So they had the huge front and center picture of Brody right there behind him, because the motherfucker was too smart to be in this piece of shit film.

And I mean, on the plus side, it also, it also stars, well, not stars, but has Judith Barcy in it, who's the little girl, Thea, in it. Do you know, she's the voice of Ducky from the Land Before Time. Oh, look at it. Her story is fucking tragic, man. It's really sad with what happened to her. But I just, I love seeing her on film. If you, you guys know what happened.

happened to her? No idea. Bring the show down now. Brian, do you know? I think so. So she passed away at the age of 10. Her stepfather murdered her. Whoa.

Yeah. Murdered her and her mother. Yeah. So seeing her in this film, she's such a sweet little girl, but it just breaks my heart every time I see her to know what happened to her.

So sorry for bringing the show. down. That's fucking crazy, man. Although a movie about that probably would have meant better. Hey, hey, this movie is better than Jaws 5. I'll say that. All right. Scores on Jaws the Revenge, Tim.

I can't really give this a real score because like, honestly, this is a film I can just watch whenever I want. I could watch it multiple times a day. So realistically, I'd be looking at a 10. But if I'm going the movie reviewer route, it's more in the lines of a four or a three or something like that. So I'm going to come in the middle and say a seven. But what does your heart say? My heart says 10.

Then we'll go at 10. All right. Thank you, Brian. Jesus Christ. Brian, what does your heart say? I'm feeling good today. I'm going to give it a 9 out of 10. Oh, yes.

Jaws the Revenge, guys. Highest rated movie ever. Lance, you're going to keep us up there? Okay, Tim. This is history, man. First time ever. All the episodes we've done of this show and all the episodes we're having to re-edit.

Put up again. Never, ever, ever have I given this score. Okay? You know, I'm giving a score. a 10 because I gave mother at 10. And you wouldn't agree with me on that, would you, Tim? I'd have to rewatch Mother again, but yeah, I don't think it would be a 10.

Again, I would give it 0.25 higher had I seen the version where Van Peebles died at the end, which, of course, he did, because you literally saw him die, and then he pops up. Guys, Tim, this is a zero. Fuck, really?

So you're saying that this movie is better than Veronica? Did I give Veracca less than a zero? Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, reverse that. You're saying Veronica's better than this movie? Correct. Yes, because it has titty. Yes, correct. It has tities.

This one doesn't. You know what? I'd watch this one over to Jennifer any day of the week. You know what? I would too. That was a bad one. That may be the worst one. I wish McCullough was the worst one

When we did the Kinexploitation What was it, things? Oh, I don't know, man. At least it had a little artistic merit Because it kind of knew what it was. I honestly think the filmmakers thought they were making a good movie here. I really do.

I don't know if I can believe that. I'm going to come somewhere in the middle. to give it, I'm going to give it a five, I think. It was, it was, respectable, right? Yeah, I wasn't, I wasn't as disappointed in it as, I was pleasantly surprised about that. Because I thought this was going to be really awful. And I kind of enjoyed it, although, I, sharks are pretty fucking cool and scary. So, there's that.

All right. So I guess, uh, in closing, check out Jaws the event. just not that bad. Yeah. Listen to nothing Lance says. Now we're going to go to one that will probably all agree on, the lost boys.

After moving to a new town, two brothers discover that the area is a haven for vampires. Director is Joel Schumacher, also known for a fan of the opera. Rest in peace. Where have I heard that one before?

writers are Jan Fisher James Jeremiahis and Jeffrey Boehm every year at the landmark Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk in Santa Cruz California Santa Cruz This film is screened

As part of the park's free summer movie series Beachgoers may bring outdoor furniture And supplies to watch after sunset That's cool That would be fucking off We got to put that on the bucket list, guys. I know. Many features of the town shown can still be recognized, most notably the rides and games on the boardwalk itself.

So, Tim, how about the Lost Boys? Why did you choose this one? So if you've ever heard my show, Horrifidami's or me on any other show, you probably heard me say that Jaws is my all-time favorite movie. The Lost Boys is a close second. this movie is another one of those movies another out of five movies I used to just religiously watch when I was a kid Lost Boys is in that list

this movie is just in my opinion it's the perfect vampire movie this is my favorite vampire movie of all time it's just got everything I've wanted this movie this movie made vampires look cool and when I used to watch it like all I wanted to be was

lost boy. They just got the perfect look. They've got that glam rock 80s metal side to it, which I love. And I love how these vampires, they don't want to romance you. They just don't want to fucking kill you. They want to mess your shit up. Yeah, this is way before Anne Rice, you know? This was five or six years before she wrote interview of the vampire. Or maybe it was about the same time, but it was that amount of time before it came out in the theater. And I've had many discussions with people who say that this is the 80s version of Twilight, which I wholeheartedly disagree. Yeah.

Yeah. Man, this movie has just got everything. Like the soundtrack is, the whole soundtrack is something that I play religiously. Like all the songs they chose for it. It's just incredible. It's got scenes in it that don't need to be there, but just work. For example, the sexy sax man. If you don't like Tim Capello, there's something wrong with you.

Keitha Sutherland is just, I don't have hair. But if I could have hair, it would be David's loss boys. Yeah, that was a genius acting job. Yeah. One of his travel, for sure. And he's done a lot of good stuff. He's an underrated actor, I would say. Oh, definitely.

I love everything. he's in. All the actors in this are just unreal. Like Corey, the two Corrie's, you got Diane Waste in it. There's just Bernard Hughes. There's all these, all these actors, they just, they just, they do a phenomenal job. The story is just compelling. It's awesome.

It's just a lot of fun. I cannot speak higher of this movie. This is just a fantastic film to start to finish. All right. Lance, what do you think? think. Well, see, yeah, this is as close to an 80s vampire masterpiece as I could possibly imagine. I mean, I've seen this movie several times. I saw it in the theater several times when I was young and I've seen it on, you know, cable and TV many times since. I love the buildup. I love the way the characters

are together. I love that scene with the rice where he made it look like the maggots because the vampires can control your mind. Yeah. I love the way that they were like the cool. kids and we all wanted to be just like them. I would have fucking loved. Now that I would trade, being able to see a sunrise and the sunset for that shit, right? Come on, guys.

I mean, just amazing. I love the way that the characters got together. They moved to this town. I like the way that it was localized. I like the way that it was this, basically kind of like a coven of vampires that hung out together, did cool stuff. And then

when you find out that, you know, the guy that's dating their mother is actually the master of all the vampires are kind of like holy fucking shit I didn't see that coming but when it happened that it was like such a great turn in the movie

you know what we just went from zero to really high up Tim this is why I say one of these three movies is totally not like the other two for me I absolutely fucking love this this is one I could watch three or four

times a day, Tim. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's just, and it's a gorgeously shot film. I mean, it really is. And so, you know, the way that they take the, the California town, and it's a little bit sleazy, you know, the area that they're in and stuff like that, like most beach towns are, whether it's in the UK or the West Coast or like where I am right now. It's just completely sleazy, and you have the scum of the earth hanging out there. And you've got easy, easy meat, right easy feeding because there's probably a lot of winos and bums and stuff

like that that they could feed on and oh man just total feeling and it just this movie just kind of wraps around you and it brings you into that universe like very few movies can do and I loved it nice

Brian what do you think whoever said that Tim Capello's not needed in this movie is wrong this is my all-time favorite vampire movie yes I love the cast in it I mean come on the Corrie's you got both of them in here

oh yeah they worked so well together in this movie right yeah Corey came how 80s was his clothes 38 38 was and I mean I lived it Brian you did and how cool is it he's from Phoenix but he has an Alaskan Husky

named Nanook. How did that happen? I don't know. But it works. He must have been hanging out with you, man. And Tim, you mentioned most of the cast, but you didn't mention Alex Winter. Oh, shit.

Sorry. Bill S. Preston Esquire. Yes. Right. Totally. There's so many, like, quotable lines in this movie, you know, especially like death by stereo.

and Keith was Sutherland he plays the bill it's like he that his character ace from stand by me became a vampire yeah there you go 100% yes

and I watch this movie at least once or twice a year it never gets old I actually I just picked up to put on my shelf the comic books that are in the movie oh nice

vampires must die Yeah, and what was the other one? Because there's two. I can't think of the other one. But, yeah, I picked those up, and they're going on my shelf. Because this is one of those movies that I watched constantly when I was a kid, and I continue to watch it today. Yeah, I pretty much agree with all that.

This definitely has a heavy-hitted nostalgia. I loved watching this movie growing up. Kiefer Sutherland. I love him and everything that he's done, but it started with this one. And the Corrays were awesome in it. Anytime I think of either one of the Cori's, I don't even think of the Goonies, I think of this movie.

And it's fucking fantastic, man. The Lost Boys, right? They went to Neverland and Never Grow Old. Yeah. Yeah. And it kind of had that same vibe to it. You know, we've been talking about this several times. This is a vibe in lots of movies like rear window, right?

It started with rear window where you see something, but nobody believes you. Right. And that's, yeah, that's like the coolest fucking, and that's a great subplot. That's probably why it's using so many movies so well, right? Yeah, but I like it a lot better when it's not just seeing somebody from the window. It's something like this, you know? Yeah, he's experiencing it. True.

Yes. Yes. You definitely get a lot more into their world and get pulled into their universe more, right? Yeah. So definitely love the Lost Boys. Scores. Tim? Look, man, for me, this is the ultimate vampire film.

This is a perfect 10 for me. I have a sleeve, tattoo sleeve, of all my favorite horror films. And David from Lost Boys is on that sleeve. So, yeah, this movie is just phenomenal. It's one of my all-time favorites. And yeah, perfect 10 for me. Definitely not Twilight. Oh, no.

God forbid. Lance? You know what? I've made a commitment before this vacation is over. I'm getting a new tattoo. Tim, you got me thinking. Do it.

I really do have me thinking right now. Is this movie for me, it's not a perfect 10. It's not right up there with the elite of the elite. And it's probably not in my top five. It could be in my top 10. It is a nine on 10. It is definitely a masterpiece vampire movie. It draws you in the characters.

There's not one bad actor in this. Tell me one person in this movie that doesn't act their heart out, right? Yeah. Everybody's perfect. Every character's perfect in this movie. It's well written. It's well filmed. And it's just a beautiful film.

I love it. Every time I watch it, can't get enough of it. nine on ten all right Brian oh you know where I'm going 10 out of 10 I think you're gonna go one

I'm not talking about Pet Cemetery oh this is almost this is getting up there with the into the Spiderverse guys I know I'm gonna I'm wavering between a 9.5

and a 10 well then I think this just beat into the Spiderverse but my heart says 10. Yes. We have a new champion, Tim. Hell, yeah.

In the history of the podcast. Can I just quickly ask? I often see this film being compared with Fright Night because they're like the two bigger vampire films of the 80s. Which do you reckon's better? Well, this far and away. There's no comparison. I love Fright Night.

I'll have to say rewatchability. It has to be for 80s vampire movies, I go long. Boys, Fright Night, and then Near Dark. Yeah, on exactly the same idea. That's three good ones. I can't disagree with either of you. Hell yeah. All right.

All right. Are we at the, the movie? The movie. This is going to be the most interesting one, I think, because I'm not sure what I think about it. The fanatic. We can't wait to hear. A rabid film fan stalks his favorite action hero. and destroys the star's life.

Director and writer is Fred Durst, also known for the long shots. And limp biscuit. I don't know how that works. John Travolta took the role of Moose as a tribute to his autistic son, Jet, who passed away in 2009. Also don't know how that works. A critic described the movie as Forrest Gump meets Taxi Driver. No. It's never been revealed and is unclear why Moose's mother's named him Moose.

There are three possibilities. Moose may just be a nickname. Moose may be a name. Moose may have been named Moose by his mother because he is ugly. Or Moose's mother is a moose lover and simply decided to call her son Moose. Was that something that was really in the trivia? Are you talking bestiality? She was literally a moose lover.

She's a moose lover. Because that would make a lot of sense. Hey, they don't have too many horses or donkey shows in Canada. They do it moose. They probably be on Hollywood Boulevard somewhere, right? All right, Tim, why'd you pick the fanatic? And what do you think about it? the reason I picked the fanatic is because Lance brought it to my attention that you guys have never reviewed it.

So it was an instant in because I think this is on par with Black Christmas as one of the films that you guys talk about the most on this show. So I had to choose it. When this movie came out, I was a little late to it. I heard all the reviews and what people were saying about this film, how this film was like one of the, worst films ever made. And when I saw it, my first thought was everyone's poppycock.

This movie is phenomenal. Yeah. I think I'm... Practice that in front of a mirror, Tim. You sound like that too. Not quite British enough. I won't lie. I have done that.

It's just a lot of fun. John Revolta or Moose made that word fun to say. I'm going to come in kind of the same way with Jaws of Revenge. I know this movie is not the greatest made movie ever, but it's just another entertaining film. What I like about this film is when I first heard about this film, first heard the plot,

I instantly, and I think everyone here did too, thought that John Travolta would be the star, and Devin Sawyer would be the stalker. I love how they swapped it around and made John Travolta this guy, this character. And I just, I love his portrayal in it. I don't know if it's politically correct or anything like that, but I don't care. I just watch it for its entertainment. I just have a blast with this film.

Fred Durs, pumping his own music. I mean, a lot of people give him crap for that, but why wouldn't you do that? That's true. You've got to self-promote. Um, this, I mean, there's not really too much to say about this movie. It's just, it's a kind of simple plot. Um, it's, it's a movie we've kind of all seen before. Um, but it's just, it's outrageous. It's crazy. Where it goes is just insane. I was on the edge of my seat watching this. And this is another film. This is a film that made my top 10 of that year. I think it was number four of the year it came out.

Um, mainly because it's another film that I, I can watch whenever I want. So, yeah, man, this movie is just, it's just fun. I just find it fun. I find it entertaining. And I honestly think it's pretty well made. I know people disagree and we'll probably hear from those people. But yeah, I'm a fan of this movie.

All right. Brian, what do you think? This movie gets better and better every time I watch it. I'm just drawn to the character Moose and I feel so bad for him He's not a stalker, he's a fan Fucking Hunter Dunbar That guy is mean

Yeah, I I mean what can you say John Travolta I think he He played the hell out of this role Whether he was being serious about it or whatever. I just, I love the character moves.

Just, just his story of him trying to get this autograph from this guy that he just idolizes and comes to find out that he's a fucking piece of shit. And I can give it to Devonsawa. He plays the hell out of that role too

because he is a shitty person. I mean, he's fucking the maid. He doesn't really see his kid when he's supposed to. And his, And when they show his movies, like when he see it on the background on the TV, they look shitty as hell. But I'm probably watching it. But, yeah, I, this, this movie is great to me. And it gets better on rewatch.

And Lance, don't you dare get this a low score. All right. Well, I'll go next and we'll wait on Lance. Because I have a feeling I know where that's going. I still am not sure what to think about this movie. The first time I watched it, I thought it was awful. And this is the second time I watched it. Guys, is this a good movie?

Like, the little cutaways with the animation and stuff, I thought it was crazy and didn't make any sense the first time. But I sort of enjoyed it on this watch. John Travolta may be a little, we broke him again. Yeah. I think this is three weeks in a row now. John Travolta is a little over the top in his performance.

Like, I don't know whether or not I should feel bad about watching this. You know what I mean? Like that kind of over the top. Like not quite a lot. over the top is like tropic thunder, but not far from it. But, uh, but, uh, but you know, I mean, Moose is just a misunderstood, dude. And, uh, I, I don't know if the funny moments were intended to be funny or if they were just

unintentionally stupid and hilarious, uh, but some of them were. And it was, it was kind of an interesting. story. Honestly, I think Fred Ders knew exactly what he was doing. Siri did. Yes, right down to the

genius. He's the next Orson Wells. You heard it here first. My way of the highway. I mean, did you even think that that ending was coming when he just

When he finally got loose from the bed And then he just blew his hand off Or his fingers off with the shotgun And then fucking stabbed him in the eye Yeah That was crazy And then just let him go Yeah

And then I have to see I need a second movie I do I need to see Because they can't just arrest him for the maid That that just Yeah

Just open the door and like, oh, you got somebody else's blood on you. It would be like a judicial kind of movie, I think. But yeah, Moose was filming himself like trespassing.

Yeah. So all the evidence is that. Yeah, his fingers are still upstairs. There you go. Yeah. So I don't know, man. I think I kind of

liked it. Lance, let's I'm sorry. End on the best note. Insulting. Insulting. Sorry, boys.

But now I'm going to put on my social justice for your hat right now. I'm going to adjust it to a perfect tea. Because so John Travolta's son I don't know the story. Somebody fill me in on the story.

His son was autistic and died, or? Yeah, well, he didn't die because he was autistic. I don't think that happened. I don't mean that, but I mean. No, he had, I think he had a seizure. From what I understand, I think he had a seizure. He was in the bathroom, had a seizure fell and hit his head on the sink or something. Okay.

So, John Travolta, I'm going to list a few movies, guys. Greece, Urban Cowboy. I mean, Jesus fucking Christ, this guy was on the top of his game. Think about John Travolta back of the day. Give me a couple of movies, Brian. Battlefield Earth.

Oh, fuck. You might have just completely dismantled my argument then. Right there. What was the show he was on? Up your nose with a rubber hug. Mr. Cada. Mr. Cata.

Okay. Okay. This is an act. who went from the top of his game and like everybody's everybody wanted to be John Travolta oh for fuck sake Saturday Night Live or Saturday Night Fever

yeah the other movie I was thinking of this guy was literally everybody wanted to be him and look at him now and he considers this a oh my God he's what did he say what you said in the trivia Philip he said this is what like

a tribute to his autistic son Jet wow If this is a tribute, when I'm dead, don't fucking tribute me. If you're going to kind of pull this guy fucking happy jack, full retard bullshit. Oh, we definitely are, by the way. Unbelievable, man. This is, this is terrible, terrible. And the visual cues.

Tim, we talked about this on your podcast. Anytime you have a visual cue of someone in their house that has a bottle of prescription pills and a beer or an alcoholic. drink together next to their easy chair. It's just too easy, guys. I'm sorry. I can't consider this movie great. I can't even consider it good.

I can't even consider it mediocre. This is horrible. It's yet another trashier piece, man. Tim, how would you pick three completely diverse movies like this, man? How does your mind work? I want to get inside Tim's brain. You've heard of Herman's head. We've got to find a way to make a TV show or a YouTube channel about Tim's brain and how it works.

We thought NAS was weird. We thought we couldn't figure NAS out. Tim, dude, I don't know what to think here, man. Why would you pick this film as one of your top? This was my least favorite movie of the year, man. This was terrible, terrible, terrible. And on this second watch, man, I hated it so much more. and how creepy is it

that he was with a little tiny five-foot chick that would take fucking pictures and let him in places and stuff. Oh my God, dude, I'm not saying it's pedophilia because she was of age, but it sure felt to look that way. What? Jesus Christ.

I mean, that was just nasty. You're reaching now. Yeah, she has reached. He's friend, man. She was trying to help you. This is what I interpreted when I watched this piece of crap movie. I never once when I watched his thought, I thought she was a child and there was pedophilia.

Okay, I want him to tell me. I want Tim to tell me. What am I missing? What am I missing? Everything. Yeah, everything. Sorry, man. Well, you just laughed at it because it was silly.

Come on, man. This isn't a good movie. I disagree, man. I honestly thought that this movie was one engaging, compelling. It had me on the edge of my seat. I didn't think the action. was that bad. Jesus Christ, man.

If that's the edge of your seat, you're killing me, man. Really? So you won't, you weren't gripping the seat when Moose was walking around his house and I was, I was worried,

I was thinking, is he going to get caught? What's going to happen next? I was, I was gluten screen. I guess, I guess it came out of this. I didn't care.

He smelled his toothbrush. Is that what he did? You know what? He should have rubbed it on his balls or something like that. I mean, come on. You're right. I will say that. I will say this much. He doesn't even have ice cream for his son. There's no treats in the house. You know what? Yeah, no sweet treats, right? You know what? I will say this. Devon saw you surprise me. He surprised me. They guy can play an asshole. But you know what? He played an asshole to the point that I think he probably would be an asshole. You know what I'm saying? Like, he convinced me. Like if he were to show up at one of the horror conventions, we were to walk up and ask for a sound bite, something tells me he would say, either, oh, all right, kid, go buy a fucking autograph and come back,

or he would say, go talk to my handler, and the handler would tell us to fuck off, Lance Hamilton style, you know? Well, as long as we can record that part of it, I think we're okay. So, Lance, you're saying that he convinced you that he's an absolute asshole to the point that you believe it. So you're saying that that's good acting. That is good acting. I completely agree with you on that, Tim.

Yeah, Devin Sala could turn into good performance. To me, John Travolta did not. John Travolta, to me, just kind of felt like an absolute has been, used to be on top of the world, used to be on top of his game, and now he's just an embarrassment. That guy owns a jet. Well, what's he going to do next, guys? somebody look it up at IMDB

I gotta know what's in John Travolta's future I really really really want to know he's been in 10 episodes of die heart I have no idea what that is okay well that's one of those Dane Dahan network shows right

Brian so does that make it I don't know it looks like a die hard die hard rip off with Kevin Hart yeah it's on that what's that fucking network Remember what he had?

That's awesome. Yeah, Quibi. It's coming to row. Quibi, Quibi. Okay. And then after that, he's been in a Christmas ad, which goes for a minute where he plays Santa Claus. Okay. The defense rest, Your Honor.

Let's move on to scores. Or whoever's next. But if you've been in classics after classic, can't you just at one point just fucking do whatever you want? Yeah, but why? would you want to do this fucking piece of shit? Why wouldn't you? It was in tribute to his son. Okay.

To his son. See, that's insulting. Again, I've got to throw on my social justice warrior hat. That's wrong. That's just downright wrong. You shouldn't. Come on, man. He didn't think it was wrong.

You're probably right. You're probably right. He probably didn't. He probably thought he was doing a good thing. It just rubbed me the wrong way. everything in this movie rubbed me the wrong way again i will admit devon saw you's performance as an asshole was great if you want to if you're gonna if we're gonna do an oscars this year of asshole performances he definitely is gonna be up there for best actor for me other than that

nothing in this that i find redeeming at all sorry it's it's got a little uh little mad city to it you guys remember that one he was i love that movie yeah this is not Mad City at all. What are you talking about, Bill? Sort of similar. Anyway. All right. Fair enough. I mean, yes, people love to watch it.

I thought people loved to watch it just to laugh at it. But I really, no, I'm not even kidding, Tim. I honestly watched it this time with an open mind. I couldn't wait to rewatch it because I was like, what am I missing that everybody else caught? And I'm like, nope. Still has a same feeling. All right.

why we do this shit, right guys? I mean, seriously, that's why we do this. Everybody has different opinions. Let's do scores on this one. Tim, what do you think? Okay, I won't. I won't talk long. I got to poo.

Great line, by the way. Yeah, look, man, this movie is quotable as hell. That's another thing we did to talk about. It's definitely quotable. No, no, you're right. It's definitely quotable. I'm going to come in with a score. that I've had for my first time watching this.

This one for me is a 9 out of 10. I know. I think this movie is great. And so what I'm going to say shouldn't surprise you, Tim. No. I know where you go down. All right. Brian, what do you think?

I'm going to go 8. Nice. So I think with more watches, it will probably get better for me because I like it a lot better than the last time I watched it. Phil, remember we're coming from the heart. I know. I know.

Yeah, come from the heart. All coming aside. And so I think for right now, I'm going to go six and a half, but it could be a cult classic one day. Just because it is so, yeah, it's so quotable. And it's so fucking bonkers.

man, I've never seen a movie like this before. Lance, what do you think? Well, it's no Jaws, the revenge. I'll tell you that. It's definitely not a zero. It's an easy one on 10. Easy one on 10. You know what?

Is that what I gave it on your show, Tim? Or was I a little bit higher? No, I think it was. I can't remember if it was a two or a, one you gave it to but he was around that mark it's a one now brother there you go and i had it on my bottom 10 of the year too and i've always felt a little bad about that i'm like did i get this movie the right chance well you know you know why right you know why you felt bad right philip why

it's that guilt i won't even go into it you know what i'm talking about from From watching the acting and going, ooh, should I feel bad watching this? Yeah, you probably should. I felt like super sleazy watching it. But, hey, you know what? Oh, I might have to give it a one and a half because it did catch that sleazy vibe. And it caught that sleazy vibe of L.A. and what it's become in Hollywood Boulevard.

You know what? I'm raising my score. I'm going one and a half, Tim. You know why? not because of Travolta, not because of Sawa, but because of that fucking, the side actors that were fucking with him. The guy that did the,

uh, magic act and shit like that. That did catch Hollywood Boulevard the way that it is now, from what I understand. So you're saying, so you're saying Fred Dirtz did know what he was talking about. You know what? I'm inching. I'm inching toward that, Brian.

I'm not going to say I'm full retard yet. but I'm inching toward Happy Jack. We got to do a commentary on this movie. Well, that's a foregone conclusion. We haven't yet. Oh, we should, though. Okay.

Well, I know. All right. Well, go see the fanatic. Unless you're Lance, then don't. Is that it? I think that's all of them. All right. It's time.

It's time to pimp, Tim. What's you got going on, man? Okay, so horror for dummies. You can check us over there. We have fucking everything going on, man. We just released our last episode, which we did on Wishmaster 1 and a movie called Willow. Not Willow. Willard.

The one with the rats, not the midgettes. Not Willow. And we've got, and we're recording this week with the rest of the Wishmasters. series. So that's horror for dummies. Over on Kaboom, our other show where it's the opposite. I'm the dummy and I get educated in movies. We are wrapping up our Star Wars review. We're going to be doing, we just released Rise of Skywalker, our thoughts on that. And we're going to be recording solo and Rogue One in a couple weeks. So be on the lookout for that. But yeah, we've got Patreon, we got YouTube, everything going on, man. We're busy as hell over there.

So good times. Tim, I got to say you surprised me. Because when I downloaded that show and started listening to it, I thought it was going to be the original Willard, but it's the Crispin Glover,

remade. Yes, yes. Yeah, that's the one I've seen. Yeah, I was surprised. I thought it was going to be the original. And then you talked about, you flirted with Ben. You talked about it.

Is that one actually a sequel to the original older movie or what? Ben, yeah. So I try to. everywhere to look for Ben. Actually, Bid Jemine, message me and told me it's on Tubeby, so I'll check it out. Yeah.

The answer to all of life's questions is too. Right. Yeah. So apparently Ben, Ben picks up right where Willard finished. I had no idea. I knew they were both rap movies. I just had no idea they were connected. Did you know, Brian?

Yeah. Mm-hmm. Philip, did you know? No, I had no idea. I never heard of Ben. I'll have to watch it. It is on Tooby. I know the Michael Jackson song.

That's about it. You guys have homework. All right. As always, we want to thank you guys for listening to another episode of The Horror Returns. We would love to hear your feedback and ideas. Join our Facebook group, or you can always reach us at thehorrorreturns at gmail.com. If you like what you hear, please read us and review us on iTunes, Apple Podcast, or whatever they call it. Next week, it's going to be a new movie that's actually, we're actually looking forward to,

unlike a few new ones we've reviewed this year. So we're doing a spiral from the Book of Saw and also vile. And I'm actually looking forward to that one, Brian. You know why? Does you love torture porn? Not a huge torture porn fan, dude, but I am a huge fan of Yellowstone. I am a huge Taylor Sheridan fan, and I've said that on the show many times.

That's crazy he made this movie. It really is, man. That shocked the hell out of me when I was reviewing it. So, Tim, until the horror returns again. Good night.