The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #265: The Stepfather (1987) Commentary

Episode Date: June 20, 2021

Happy Father's Day from The Horror Returns. This week, Sean Henry joins us again for a commentary of the perfect Father's Day movie: The Stepfather. Cool of the week includes Loki, Star Trek: DS9 and For All Mankind. The podcast spotlight shines on Podcasting After Dark with a special shout out to After Dark With Super Marcey. And we get feedback from Matt Wood, Eric Bylenok, Samantha Bean, Jeff Larrimore, Carlos from Podstatus, Mike J Marin, Ryan Stevens, Heather Powell, Connie Quine, Bede Jermyn, Tim Davis, and Marcey Papandrea. CHEERS TO 5 YEARS OF THE HORROR RETURNS! Thanks for listening!

Hi, I'm Tom Savini. You might know me as sex machine from dusk till dawn, and you're listening, and I don't know why, to the horror returns. Greetings, victims, for those of you who delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify, go welcome. You have found the place where the horror returns. Listeners beware. This podcast contains major plot spoilers and the foulest of language. Join us in celebrating the old and the new, the best, and the worst in horror. All right, welcome back one and all to The Horror Returns. I'm Lance and with me as always, my co-host Brian.

So, meanwhile, fathers of the year, Kevin Nez and Philip are out. Let's see, Phillips coaching Little League. Kevin's making money for the family. So you can't get pissed off at that. But for the second week in a row, we're joined by our super patron and extremely special guest, Sean Henry. What's up, man? Hey, how's it going, guys? I am so glad to be on again.

You guys rock. Shottie, are you a dad? Yeah, I got two daughters. Nine and thirteen. Oh, shit. You got troubles ahead, brother. Yes, and it's a nine-year-old that's more of the difficult one than the 13-year-old. Really?

Yeah, the 13-year-old's just into like K-pop and honestly chill. It's my nine-year-old that's like, oh, gives me attitude. and it's just a handful. Well, I've got a memory of when my daughter was 13 years old, and I woke up at 2 a.m. one morning and caught a boy literally climbing into the bedroom window of her room. Oh, my God. Oh, I already told my kids, I'm like,

I have a plot at the Body Farm at the University of Tennessee reserved for your fucking boyfriends. So I catch them. They're fucking dead. They're dead. What about you, Brian? What's your, what's your philosophy? You have daughters.

Yeah, well, fortunately, my oldest is 21 now, so. Lucky. Yeah, I'm saving, I'm saving that beating for just, just in case something goes wrong. But I keep a close eye on my 11-year-old, so there will be no, nobody climbing in any windows or anything. No. And anymore, it's all electronic issues now. Well, dude, if I know Brian, Sean, if I know Brian, he's got, he's got his windows

and his, in his entry, any entryway to his house ramboed up at this point. I do have cameras, so. That's smart. Cameras with lasers. Shh. Can't tell all the secrets. All right. Well, look, last week we skipped cool of the week, but we can't skip it too much. We got to at least jump in real quick.

Sean, what was the coolest thing you've checked out this week, man? Honestly, Loki. That has been my favorite, the past two weeks. The episode one was such an amazing intro into, like, the world, and, like, you know, just Tom Hiddleston's just kicking ass as the role of Loki. And then the second episode is just, you know, It's kind of like a buddy cop, you know, him and Owen Wilson. Yeah, the second episode is amazing. Okay.

Yeah. Have you, have you checked it out? I'm not even caught up on Falcon yet. Where are you at, right? I watched the current episode of Loki, and it is amazing. Thank you. It absolutely is my favorite this week, like, hands down. Brian, you got anything to add, or is that your, you're,

your cool of the week too. I'm trying to check down the list. Yeah, I'm going to go with Loki because everything I've been watching this week and pretty much for upcoming shows. All right, nice. All right. Well, I got to get this off my chest, guys. This is my cool of the week. It's a dual cool of the week.

Am I allowed that? Sure. Because they're so closely related. I just happen to be watching. Are you guys familiar with the Ronald D. Moore? Does that name Ring a Bell? No. No.

Yeah, okay. Ronald. Ronald, D. Moore, I'm going to mention some things. You're going to know who he is, but he stepped in and he kind of took over the Star Trek universe after Gene Roddenberry passed away during the next generation. Okay. So he's responsible for, you know, like Deep Space Nine, Voyager, things like that. He was the showrunner for all that. And he's also, he's done Battlestar Galactica. You guys?

the new one? I've not checked out the new one. Yeah, I haven't seen the new one. Do yourself a favor if you're into sci-fi, it's worth it. But he's doing a new show on Apple TV Plus called For All Mankind. And the reason I say

these are both my cool of the week is because I'm in the Dominion War, like season six toward the end of Deep Space Nine, the show is becoming extremely dark. And if you know anything about Star Trek and it's origins. Basically,

Jean Rodmery's idea was to have kind of like a quote-unquote positive space voyage story. You know, where we all work together. And instead of like, he didn't just stop it, you know, the United Nations. He stopped the United Federation of Planets, right?

So not only in his universe could everyone on Earth get along together without war, but everyone like within the galaxy could get along. That's kind of changed with deep space and because Ronald D. Moore is kind of riding the ship and showing you that there are enemies out there

that you have to prepare yourself against. And sometimes you have to kind of break a few rules. And things get dark. You know, war is hell. It's not always, you know, things can't be perfect. So it's just a coincidence that I just happen to be watching the sixth season of Deep Space Nine and the second season of For All Mankind on Apple TV.

and they're both very similar. If you're not familiar for all mankind, it basically retells the story. It's kind of like an alternate reality, assuming that the Russians had landed on the moon first. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, that kind of pushed us to do work. In the TV show, the second season is like 1983.

The third season is going to be 95, where we're actually having people on Mars. but in this, yeah, in this TV show, we're pretty much where we should be right now. And it's an extremely dark and a foreboding season because you've got the Americans versus the Russians. So there's a lot of super tense moments, very emotional. There's a couple of times that I actually kind of, you know, tear it up a little bit because I'm thinking, man, we really should have treated our space program like this. it's like a shame that we

got to the moon and then we had the just quit. It kind of just quit. No shit, man. Yeah. At least we're getting privatized now. Yeah, SpaceX is kicking NASA's ass. You know what? And in the show, NASA is still on top, but you can kind of see where some of the the privateers are starting to come in a little bit

and find ways you can make a profit by going to these other planets and mining them and stuff like that, but I don't know, that's my cool of the week. It's kind of a, space is hopeful, but it can be super dark when you get out there and start meeting enemies because they're out there. Yeah, it makes perfect sense, and that show actually sounds amazing. I'll definitely have to check it out. Yeah, it's worth to watch, man. Anything else you guys watch on Apple TV Plus? I was about to start Lizzie's story, but I didn't get to it. Same. I, you know, I'm a huge Stephen King, you know, and I've heard that.

That's his most cherished book and one that he just, that's his absolute favorite because it's the most personal to him. And I've heard great, like, reviews on the show, the first couple episodes. Well, it has the famous Dane DeHan, Brian. Yeah, I know. I've seen them. All right. Well, we're going to skip horror headlines in trailer park tonight, it shall return next week. You guys want to get into a little listener feedback? Sure. That's good. All right. I'll do my best Philip voice here.

Listener feedback. This week, the podcast spotlight shuns on podcasting after dark. Podcasting after dark is a deep dive into the world of cult, horror, sci-fi, and action movies from the 70s, 80s, and early 90s. each episode, Corey Stevenson and Zach Schaefer break down and review a different late-night flick from their youth. These are the movies your parents don't want you to watch growing up. Since we're bringing that up, we would be remiss not to also shout out to another brand new After Dark podcast, although I think a bit more sex-themed, it would appear, from what I understand.

But this is the Super Network's Patreon-only offering, Dark with Super Marcy. Insert heavy breathing now, right? Episode one, let me try to do a Marcy's voice. Episode one is here. No, that's not Australian. Fuck.

God damn it. That's some drip on the Barbie. Still a little British. Still little British. I'll leave it. All right. I'll leave it with Marcy. Episode one is here where I watched the sex exploitation film 269 A Sex Odyssey

What could go wrong, right? Available only on Patreon? You don't want to mess out on this brand new series. So lots of after dark action. And now we get into our feedback. Regarding the action returns, Matt Wood says Beverly Hills Carp. What is he talking about, Brian?

I think this is a movie he would like to see. He just, He describes it as a giant carp that swallows people whole. That sounds fantastic and, like, worthy of canon. And Emo Kev calls it a real fish out-of-water story. All right. Regarding caveat, I tried to start watching that last night, but it was kind of hard with the granddaughter.

So we switched over to Psycho Gorman, which right up. I did too. Let's see. Samantha Bean says this looks scary as hell. And I think she's talking to you here, Brian. She says, worth it? I still got to finish it. I kind of put it on.

It was a little too late when I put it on, and I was starting to doze off. But I'll have it finished by next week. All right. We'll check it out. It looked like it was Irish or British, right? I think Irish. And from what I remember,

remember the little bit I was awake for. It looked like it had a creepy premise, so. Yeah, you heard about it, Sean? I have not. What's it? What's it about? Do you tell? Let me pull it up because, like I said, I only got to the caveat. It looked kind of creepy, like that little doll she had that played the drum or whatever, like a rabbit. Yeah, it kind of looked like whatever direction she was pointed to, it would start, like,

Going off or something like playing? Yeah, you already got me creeped out based on that. Caviot, a desperate drifter suffering from partial memory loss agrees to look after his landlord's psychologically troubled niece in an isolated mansion. Oh. What could go wrong, right? Yeah, no shit. That's very shining to ask. All right.

We got a great email from our super listener of Jeff Laramore. I think I reached out to him. I said, we owe you a shitload of stuff. Like, when and if we ever get T-shirts made, et cetera. By the way, Brian, I started working on the website today. Nice. Barely. I need Phil's help desperately.

But we'll see how it goes. Jeff says, first of all, you guys don't owe me anything. I don't need a coozy. and I will buy a t-shirt if you ever get them made. Oh. Awesome. I just send these periodic extra gifts to you guys out of appreciation for the work you put into the show, or so that when the fright mare or whatever opens again, you guys can have a round on me.

So don't worry. I don't want gifts or commentaries. You may be out of luck. We may force you to, Jeff. Sorry. My son, Jet and I just put together a three-episode podcast. so I do appreciate the work that goes into this. And also, sometimes I'm driving down the road listening to you guys or one of the guests and just bust out laughing.

So that's worth every dime. RIP, Black Saint. Oh, man. Sean, common thread, man. Yeah, man. Breaks my heart. Looking for shows with him as a guest was how I found your show in the first place. Take care, bro.

So nice email. Excellent. Thank you. Thank you, thank you. Thank you, Jeff. We also got an email from Carlos with podstatus.com. He says, hey, how's it going? I have some cool information that might interest you.

Your podcast, The Horror Returns, has good performance in Apple Podcasts, ranking position 14 in the category TV and film in the Philippines. Not bad, huh? Yeah. I guess we need to do more Filipino horror, huh? We was like number one or two in that one country. That was for like a week.

Yeah. He was number one until he said we had no idea where it was. That's right. And then they dropped out. Oh, God. Hey, but we are positioned 247 in Denmark.

So thank you, Lars. Thank you, Lars. Regarding Salem's Mike J. Marine says, still sends chills today. Regarding a possible blackular reboot. What? It's coming.

Okay. Ryan Stevens says, I'm not sure how they intend to improve upon perfection. Okay, now we got people are sending in emails and communication about last week's chainsaw two commentary. Here we go. Heather Powell, I should have known, Brian.

And she said, you know, Lance, you were throwing some major shade on this episode. It was in good fun, though, right? Yeah, there was a blast. Come on. She said, looks like someone needs to make a return to the horror returns. Anytime, Heather. It was always opened. Awesome commentary, fun and informative. You almost made me love the end.

almost. Regarding the devil's tale, Connie Kwein says Looks awesome. And regarding horror for dummies fan obsession episode, somebody from the horror returns wrote in, Jesus Christ,

you fucking Aussies in this absolute abortion of a movie. We're talking about the fan, Sean. Or no, the fanatic. The fanatic. The fanatic. That wasn't me, then. Well, somebody wrote in here, this is Lance's opinion, BTW.

So there you go. And B. Germine said, join us. And of course, when I suggested they named the episode Horror for Dummy Bars, Tim Davis said, oh shit, that's gold.

Maybe we need to change the name. And Marcy said, oh my God, yes and yes. And one thing we forgot to June 8th marked the fifth anniversary, Brian, of the horror returns. Oh, five years. Five years, Sean. That's awesome.

Congratulations, guys. Thank you. And it's hard to believe it all began with the darkness. Oh, gosh. All the movies that had to be in the theater was the darkness. And of course, nowhere to go but up since. Our show intro comes from Steve Carlton from the League of Geeks. Our artwork from Notzulani.

If you would like to help the show, please consider becoming a Patreon patron. We will let you pick the movies for a future show. And in any amount for $5 or more, you also get a commentary for a bonus future show. If you get a chance, give us a five-star Apple podcast review. We need three more. Got a couple of weeks left, guys. If you want to see us act out the loss scene from the fanatic, you better fucking get in there.

Or grab somebody's iPhone or something. Just take their iPhone. All right, you guys ready to move on to featured attraction? Yes, sir. Yep. All right. So it is now time for our main attraction. This week we celebrate Father's Day with a commentary

for the stepfather, which is on shutter. Uh-oh, hold on. Let me back it up. Let me get to one second. There we go. I'm at two seconds. All right, so we're on the shutter version of the stepfather, which is one hour, 28 minutes, and 52 seconds.

And I'm at two seconds. Where are you guys at? Two seconds. So whenever you guys are, and I watched the start of it, it looks like there's no dialogue for at least ten. minutes, so we might be able to bullshit for a little bit. So, uh, okay, cool. You guys ready?

We're ready. All right. Three, two, one. Whoa. Beautiful being footage. All right. Is that too loud? Yeah.

For me. Terry Quinn. Any loss fans out there? Uh, not here. Okay. No, I know, I never got into loss. Oh, man, I fucking love lost. Yeah, it's either a love or hate it.

There's not an in-between. Yeah, everybody, Jack Falvey, the fourth, hates it, Brian. Yeah, I was going to get into it, and then everybody just said I do that loved it, just completely hated that ending. That's what I heard. That's why I never, I just never got into it either. Like, everyone was like, oh, it's just dog shit.

The ending sucks. watch it. I'm like, okay. You know what? It's probably going to be like the Walking Dead finale. Or Game of Thrones, right? Oh, gosh. I forgot about that. Skip that last season. All right. Are you guys where I am where it's the paper boy going down the throwing papers? I want my $2. Do you guys remember that?

What was that? Ben Ross Dead. Yeah, John Kusack. It's a very amniville looking house. It is. It is. I wonder if this was actually filmed in Seattle, like it's supposed to be like the setting of. Certainly possible. Okay, what have we here?

That's not Terry Oak, Quinn. Yeah. We've got a madman. Oh, it is? Oh, it is? Yeah, he just got the fucking beard and the big-ass 80s glasses. He just looks like a sociopath hippie. He just did things he wasn't supposed to do.

Yeah, like, ominous looking guy. Anybody seen this movie before? Yes, I watched it earlier this week to kind of get an idea of what I was in for, because I'd never even heard of it. Yeah? And I was quietly surprised, yeah. I just figured

that was gonna be dog shit if I'm being on it. I guess we'll find out, right? Yep. Yeah, there's a remake too, right? Yeah, I don't watch that one either. No? I think there's a second one as well.

I think there's... I think there's three total. Really? Yeah, I don't remember the sequel's really. really well. I know there was one where he had found a new family and the kid had like the son was like in a

wheelchair. Oh my gosh. That's so fucked up. You're not talking about silver bullet, are you? No. But the kid was more more than able

to defend for himself than you would think. It was one of them type of movies. That's good at least. At least he wasn't the helpless, you know. Disabled child. Boy, Terry Quinn cleaned up nice, didn't he? No kidding. It looks like he'd go on a game show.

Wait a little bit. Whoa, got to throw the sailboat away. They didn't pick up their toys. Yeah, little helions. Oh, God. Yeah, like I said, no. No dialogue for a while, huh? Dial tone beeping.

Dial tone beeping. This is before cell phones, right? Yep. This was, what, 1987 this came out? Yeah. Okay. Wow, that's literally a year after I was born. Somebody made a mess of a living room.

Hang the phone up, leave some fingerprints. He left a shitload of evidence for, local law enforcement. He's a different guy now. He shaved his beard. Got a suit on. That's all you have to do to law enforcement.

Just, you know, shave your beard, put on a nice suit, get you a suitcase. What's he doing? Making his escape. It's gorgeous scenery. Yeah, it is. You said Seattle?

Is that where it was going? Yeah. Yeah, it's supposed to be Seattle. But I don't know if there's actually a film. there. It may look real quick. It kind of

looks like it. Yeah. Oh, there it goes. Disposing of things in the ocean is necessarily the best way to hide evidence.

Didn't always work for the mob. Brian, you can walk to Seattle from Anchorage, can't you? Oh, yeah.

It's took me an hour. One year, later. Well, the paperboard grew up and grew boobs, huh? Looks like it was filmed in Seattle, Washington, Vancouver, British Columbia. Vancouver, British Columbia. Your backyard, Brian.

I think you see Brian's house in the background. Now, there was one stepfather movie that had like Jerry Barry more in it, right? Or am I thinking of something else? I don't think... That sounds familiar. Gotcha. Gotcha. It's throw the leaves at me.

Wow. Pretty sure if I'd leave my kids, they would... Yeah. My kids would be so pissed. They were like, Dad, what the hell? What the fuck are you doing? Exactly. They just walk off.

let's just stay in the cold and nasty leaves kind of sweet at the same time yeah uh-oh okay so is they are they trying to say something here like the two females get along perfectly but once the male shows up all hell breaks loose

is this this that year's black Christmas or what Brian oh almost like a life movie, all men are bad and will hurt you. You've heard Philip talk about it before, right? Yes. Oh, God.

I cannot stand lifetime movies. Thank God. None of my kids will dare, like, even consider watching them. This looks a little lifetimeish, guys. Yeah, yeah, it does. With murder added. All the Lifetime movies have murder now. Is that Astros?

Look. Did you see the closest? I thought that too the first time. I was like, what the hell? What did they have? Grass is way too perfect, right? Yeah. Does he no matter much?

I had a dog and I have a kid. He was just a month, but to me, he was renting, 10. He even sounds like Cousinetti. He does. Oh, my God. He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. the dog was fine, but you touch me. Oh, boy.

Here we go. Ryan, what possessed you to pick this movie for Father's Day, Ryan? I am curious. He's trying to be a best father he can. Okay. That's what we all try to do.

I mean, he might go about it the wrong ways, but that's why Philip's out there throwing curveballs at these kids tonight, huh? Yeah, venting a little bit. That's why all fathers have a man cave.

Oh, Jesus Christ. I'm in my garage right now. This garage has become my tax right off. It's much I had to work from home last year. Oh, yeah. Stephon. There wouldn't be Stefan.

You're mad at him. to die. That makes no sense. He's a terrible therapist slash psychist. You're mad at your father's dying. God. Like very Freudian. Like, oh.

My God. He's probably going to tell her, look at these window shades. How many feet are there? Start doing ink blots to see. tell me what you see in this picture. It's ink on a page. It's nothing. Aye, aye, aye.

You ever done any of those ink blot tests, Brian? Not professionally, but... No, maybe on ass. No, I don't think I did that either. That's fucking funny. Budding heads all the time, huh? I know, more like she just fucking straight hates him. Yeah.

To me, she just looks like any other fucking teenage daughter. Yeah, that's true. I love you. Yeah, fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck mom. Fuck everybody. Yeah. Oh, bye.

kick her ass kick her ass it's not my fault my father died and I'm angry did he really say that no

she's a rebel she's a rebel she puts paint on the teacher's back oh god That house is creepy too. Yeah, it is, isn't it? I'm a serial killer. Big T.W.

I have a dog. Oh, man, that looks creepy. Oh, God. Are you going one of these days? Ouch. I'm the next Ted Bundy. Yeah, who's Jill? Yeah, who the fuck is Jill?

Your daughter that's alive or your daughter that's dead? Uh-oh. Trying to keep it, keep it all straight, huh? Yeah. Tell I killed her. Wow. That kind of looks like the junior high school I went to. Oh, really?

Yeah, I'm certain to kind of wonder. It looks just like it, actually. Really? I don't think so. That was in Georgetown. Texas. He's going to do and finds out. He's going to kill me. Now, I think if you got a porn hub and look up stepfather, you get a totally different type of film.

Yeah, she'll be in a different kind of trouble. Oh, God. Oh. I want to go boarding school. There'll be tons of video. stepfather, stepmother, God. Brian, seriously, dude, this is very lifetime-ish.

Is it going to change? Hey, hey. It got two sequels in a remake, so let's give a time. Be patient, huh? So have you guys ever seen a single episode of Lost?

I might have glanced at an episode. Yeah, his character was like amazing. My favorite character, his name was John Locke. And he basically, like they, I don't know if you guys know the basic story behind Lost at all, like the setup.

No, I don't think I'm familiar. All right. So there's a plane crash, and they're all in a desert island. And he's, basically he has no movement in his arms or legs, right? So he's completely paralyzed.

And, you know, they go back and they show you the backstory, and stuff like that. But, like, halfway through the season, he miraculously is able to walk, move around and stuff like that. And I don't know. He's just a really good character in the show.

The flannel's going on. Yep. Got the flannel. They are in Seattle, Brian. They're going to listen to Nirvana next or what? I guess this was prior to Nirvana, huh? Yeah. Okay.

Maybe the show. is a porn hub movie. Can you hear us? Hey, what happened? I think you dropped out for a second. You there? Yep. Sorry about that. I don't know what the hell happened.

Everybody at the same spot where he's sawing? Yep. Yep. It's not our house. Yes. Of course, it's our house. Now, who is this actress, Brian? Well, which one?

the mother because I've seen her in several films before I don't feel familiar yeah she looks super familiar I almost thought there for a minute she was Louise Fletcher you know the the nurse

from one foot of the goose ass but I don't think that's Shelly Hack Shelly okay that name sounds really familiar She was in

Annie Hall The King of Comedy Ah, okay She was on Charlie's Angels Oh, shit Okay So she's been in at least a couple of Woody Allen movies Mm-hmm

She's done a lot of TV Okay Other than that's Familiar with Non-consensual rape If she was with Woody Allen Oh my God Jesus almighty

Woody Allen being a stepfather Jesus Christ See we've come full circle Willie Allen should not be around any children Oh God Is he still make movies? I hope not

No I don't I think he's lost all his funding for movies Like I think Essentially he's just Just your head Being a creeper You just With this creeper stepdaughter

Still married, I think. Wow. That is terrible. Yeah. Did you guys watch the HBO documentary about, you know, the... I don't need to. Yeah. I watched one episode, and it was so fucking graphic.

I was like, no, never, never again. Yeah. It was bad. So when did this movie come out? This was 70s? 80s? 87. 87. Okay. So I guess

Mr. Ed could still be found on cable. They need to fucking remake Mr. Ed, for fuck's sake. That would be awesome. I love Wadred. Okay, well. Yeah, I like the fact they're getting

ready to do it and their daughters on the other side of the wall. Like, that's fucking wrong. Like, listen, listen, what the fuck?

Oh, that looks just like Amityville. Yes, yes it does. Oh, Fido, why do Bobby a daddy have to hug so often? Yeah, he's like pull on.

Oh, fuck. And he's got such an apathetic, like, look. He's just like, yep. It's like, here, you get off. I'm not enjoying this at all. Yeah, he's just, he's like, all right, like, just

going through the motions. He's just no interest in it. What the hell? The daughter's like, fuck this shit. I'm putting my headphones on. I'm kidding. Poor thing. Oh, my God.

If you want to see you, this one. Is that Pat Benatar? Or who is it? no it's kind of pat him into tarmish right yeah wow

that house don't look nice what's that brian that house doesn't look like a nice place no that looks like a super creepy shot yeah

what the fuck how car is that god like the biggest piece of shit they could get you know how they've got switching all to all electric now yeah

you're 30 40 years from now some of the uh cars that still have to run on gasoline because people can't afford to buy the new electric ones what they're going to look like. Get a spray paint on them and shit, duct tape.

Just like that piece of shit right there. God. Catch you guy. Files inactive. They got that from a damn junkyard, it looks like. Right. Makes you think they're going to crash it before the movie's over, right?

God. Three weeks before Morris killed him. Quidd has dropped in to tell anybody. Ah, here we get into the story, huh? Are these the cops? It looks like more like private investigators. I guess you're right.

There's a circle. Oh, Seattle. Kids watching this movie now would be would say, what the fuck is a piece of paper that they got a circle drawn on? Oh, God. Why don't they just use their GPS? Ah, ha.

There was no GPS. I'm sorry. Life didn't always have GPS and internet. So these are private eyes, huh? I'm assuming. It can't be regular cops. That was his sister, the murdered wife, the first wife. Oh.

Okay. All right. So where was he? He looks like he should be on like a fucking soap opera. I was just about to say that. Great minds think alike. He's the young new doctor in general. General.

Oh, my God. I'm not even on anymore. Oh, man. I don't know. My wife used to have me watch a couple of soap operas with her. I watched General Hospital. And what was the other one? But it was also an ABC.

God damn it. Brian for watching these soap operas? Help me out here, man. The General Hospital would be on. All right. Remember that other one from back in the day. What was it? Who shot J.R.?

Yeah, that was Dallors. That was like a nighttime soap, right? Like more of a weekly soap that came on every Friday. Yeah. But the one I'm thinking of had a young man His name was Reggie. The character's name was Reggie. And that's a very young Michael B. Jordan.

Oh. There's nice. There you go. That's where he got to start. So there's some big stars that have been on soaps. Didn't know that. It's interesting. I think it was...

Start somewhere. Yeah. That's true. Hey, it's a steady job. You literally show. film every day. Sometimes I truly believe Now, is that his real hair?

You know, he's lost, right? I'm going to say that's his hair. You think so? Yeah. Yeah. He's holding on. I'd find a different barber.

I think he's just got a high widow's peak. I think it's his hair, but it's just, he's just got a very prominent and high forehead. Got the Dracula thing going, huh? Yeah. Something's going to happen to this dog. I know. I keep showing the dog.

The dog's always around. They better not do anything for the dogs. Like, you can kill the kid. You can kill the wives, sure, but not the fucking dog. Come on. There are standards. Oh, that's old school Coors beer that they're drinking. Oh, shit.

Yeah, the Golden Label. I don't even, did they even make that anymore? Because I think all they have an hour is like Coors Light, right? Jerry. Yeah, that's all I've ever seen. Uh-oh. What's the hell? Oh, my gosh.

My granddaughter came in here. She's got two basketballs for boobs. Is that what that is? Oh. What are you all playing up there? Holy crap. And the joys of parent and grandparenthood. Well, not with you there.

It's not a party. Is that a... He's making a Burger King, a Burger King hat. That wasn't suspicious at all. It took the fucking article that was talking about a homicide and then makes it into a hat for the retarded. See, I don't really remember I don't really remember this one

But like the sequels I know I'm not supposed to say retarded But no yes you are On this podcast you can say We have an explicit label We're good I remember the sequels The creepy thing about him was

He's kind of stuck in this error Okay The way he thinks a family should be Ah, okay Uh-oh What the fuck? Well, there's your giveaway right there. Oh, boy.

Hi, Dad. Oh, boy. Ice cream. Just plays it off like, you know, he wasn't having a fucking delusional episode. Go over there. The ice cream is just to the right of the axe and the chains. saw. You don't

lock the door when you go downstairs and like go scream and vent. Like, what the hell? I mean, we won it. That's the funny thing. We've all fucking done that, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah, absolutely. You just lock the fucking door before you do.

You just like, I just need a vent for like a minute or two and then everything's fine. that fucking cunt who does she think I am uh gentle music

she's gonna have her a beer oh boy maybe well maybe no shit I would have about her it looks like a nice setup

huh with the lights and everything yeah oh the retarded kid forgot us that yeah The retard hat. Oh, my God. Slaher family.

He's suspicious as shit. Like, that's what he makes it. Brian, you have us watching a lifetime movie or what? Yes. Jesus Christ. He yones up to it, finally. See, there's the dog again. I know.

They are showing a dog. We need to do a new podcast. The lifetime returns, Brian. Brian's like, fuck, no. No. I forgot to mention during cool of the week, Brian. I saw In the Heights. How was that?

It was a musical. I mean, it was a musical. Like every word. See what you're doing? here, I know what you're trying to say. I mean, I understand people love them, but that's just not my bag.

I like good musicals. He fucking hates all musicals. Yeah, I hate them all. I just, I can't. Yeah, I saw enough of that movie from all the countless advertisements

they kept playing everywhere. Yeah, and it's been doing, it's doing terrible I've heard. Well, it's not that great, to be honest with you. He's like, did you step on a piece of gum as you were walking across the street? I saw that.

Yes. Oh, my God. Mad, man. Pretty bad. But, you know, I mean, it's fucking Lynn Manuel Miranda. Miranda. I mean, that motherfucker's worth a shitload of more money than we are. So, we did talk. And he's creating stuff.

So, you know, he does have a creative side. It does, man. Definitely does. The wife loved it. So what else counts, right? Yep, absolutely. What a great thing to say on Father's Day?

Sometimes you got to, you know, do things that are for the significant other or the kids. Indeed. Uh-oh. She kind of looks like she's flirting with him a little. Or was that just me? Uh-oh. I'm starting to feel. Well, they do have kind of.

Yeah, they have a weird relationship as a fucking mental health provider and patient. He has this crazy thing about breaking up the family. I swear, if you saw this man, you could say commit. We don't say commit anymore. We say think they're at. I. My side. Ah, that's what she's doing.

She's trying to get him on her side. side psychologically. Using her her young sexuality to lure him into agreeing with her. It's a pretty decent pretty decent photography, right? Yeah, the scenery again is gorgeous.

That's a Freddie Krueger jacket. Oh, my God. Freddie Krueger's sweater. Uh-oh. Tiffany Main. I'll just throw this way. that is a headshot if I've ever seen one is he a model before he murdered his family

I know what the hell who can I take it out on now it's the paper girl if this was born up that line but it was totally different God. Jesus Almighty. Cosmopolitan.

You all remember that magazine? You think it's still around. I think it is, actually. I think it's just all digital now. That magazine is like an inch thick, and I guarantee you of three-fourth inches of it is ads. Oh, yeah.

He's got his crazy flannel on. It is Seattle, Brian. getting ready for the grunge grunge movement that light never did anything to you wait is that a picture of his old family or the current one

is it I don't know I think current family but he shouldn't be leaving around his head shots I know he is pretty terrible about the amount of evidence that he's leaving

behind. Oh, they're doing the dog so cute thing. No, not the dog. Come on. She's going to bum me out. Yeah. Yeah, put that down. He just drops it. Doesn't put it back, you know,

the trends they need organized. Fuck that. Don't shit down. How come I keep expecting to hear in the background, come as you are. As you were. That's my baby. I...

The director of this also did the good son. Ah, okay. So how come Maca Colicoke didn't show up in this? Oh, that was a sleepy movie. Like, oh. That was terrible, right? Yeah, it was terrible, but it, like, when I first watched it, I was like, this is disturbing, just because

McCullochoken was, he was actually pretty good. Right? I think he was, he was very much under the tutelage of Michael Jackson. Allegedly, allegedly, allegedly. Allegedly. Yes, we absolutely have to say allegedly. Yes. No, we don't have to.

Yeah, but we should, so allegedly. Sometimes it is what it is. Yeah, that's true. What the fuck? Look at that picture. picture. Wow. Ah.

Look at all these ghosts. That's an amazing wedding photo right there. Oh, this is a store. Ah, okay. I thought these were his victims. That's what I thought, too. The families that never worked out. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Can't sleep at the police station. Yeah, I was getting ready to say that. So you could sleep at the local police station, and no one fucking say anything. Hey, guys, every movie loves, every movie needs a good black hero.

I think he has arrived. I don't think that's him. Not so much, huh? I don't know how effective he'll be by the end of the movie. Well, hey, full transparency, I've never seen this movie before, so I guess we're going to find out.

Yeah, he's about as useful as a turd and punchball and prom night. It's that way. This actor's familiar, too. Yeah, it looks familiar. Like you guys were saying, I think he's been in soap operas before. Oh, the other actor. Oh, the detective. Yeah.

The detective. The guy wearing the fucking J.C. Penny coat. God, yes Oh, look, he's a badass. He's proficient in firearms. He's going to take the law onto his own hands. Yeah. If nothing else works, give it a shot.

That's my junior eye right there, guys. Recognize principal's office, Lance? Oh. Harse. Where's? Where's the paddle? Who would the holes drilled into it? It's in the other room.

Whoa. He must have talked some magic to get her foot back in after being suspended. Because normally school administrators are assholes. Once it's done, it's done. Yeah, this relationship is like super uncomfortable. Yeah. Yeah. Right.

Well. You know what, Dr. Bauer? Is there anything I could do to, you know, get back in again, you know. Oh, excuse me. American Eagle Realty. Hello, Freddy Krueger, can I help you? The house, the little model on his desk kind of looks like Freddie Kruger's house, too. Yes, that's.

Definitely going for Freddie Krueger vibes Don't get involved Writing a note down that he will get involved Yep Continue to be a creeper Take advantage of my position as a therapist Oh you kid are you And the actor that played the detective

I looked it up on IMDB He's got a hundred and ninety-eight credit Holy shit. No kidding. He's been in, yeah, seriously. He's been in everything from like, I don't think anything leading, but, you know, supporting. He's been there, right? Like, look in the background. There he is, right? Like, he was in the X-Files.

He was on an episode of the X-Files. He was, uh, let's see. Mantis, Robocop 4. Oh, wow. Pop the TV series. Yeah. Same character. Yeah.

Like, he's been in a lot of stuff. Bingo, the dog movie from 1991. There we go. That's pure gold. Ouch. Yeah. And he directed, look who's talking. Part one or part two?

Part one. Ah, okay. Yeah. So he's done a lot. That was what John. Trolta and Kirstie Alley. Is that right? Yeah. Yeah. The first one's cute. The second one.

Yeah. Bruce Willis. There's Bruce Springsteen in the background. Yep. I wonder if American Eagle pants, like, clothing, they saw this, and then we're like, you know what? American Eagle, that's a great name. Uh-huh.

Wait till you see the inside. Uh-oh. he said you'll get lost in the closets here. Is that a foreshadowing? They're going to have a gay moment or that he's going to die? I thought maybe you'd hide him in the closet, but we can go with that too if you want, Sean. I mean, there's a couple of interpretations.

I mean, I get, you know, whatever floats your poet, man. Oh, God. Again, reference back to Pornhub. I swear I keep seeing Cousin Eddie. Jesus Christ. Are we sure this isn't Cousin Eddie's Island Adventure, Brian? I have never seen that movie. One of the worst films ever made, dude.

I don't think I've seen it either. Holy shit. I must check it out. Oh, God. That is so bad. So bad. So terrible it's good or just so terrible it's terrible? Terrible, it's terrible.

Oh, that makes me want to watch it even more. Yeah, it's really unwatched, man. And what's sad is all the Vegas vacation, or the vacation movies, including Vegas, were really good. It didn't work. It was just, it took a complete left turn. I love Christmas vacation. I watch that every year.

Last six. have to. Yeah, absolutely. Now, have you guys seen any of Randy Quaid's recent rants, like on YouTube and shit like that? He's fucking crazy as shit, to say the least.

He is knuck and fuds. I think the last one I seen, it was a while ago. He put the studio, the head of the studios, he made a mask of his face and he put it on his wife.

Oh my God, what? And he was acting as if he was fucking ahead of the studio. That's right, I saw that. Holy shit, I've got, I have to check this out. That is so bad shit. Unbelievable, man. Yeah, I don't think he's really banging her for real, but just the image of him behind his wife,

she has this mass of the head of the studio. That is beyond crazy. Oh, man. Is it, like, is this craziness from, like, substance abuse, or is it just, just onset that he just fucking is craziest shit? I think it's all natural. Got like this guy, huh? Oh, God, yeah. That was a pretty good shot, actually.

Yeah, fucked his day up. He was smart enough to lay down something on the floor. Now he's thinking, you know, oh, how can I cover the crime scene up and thinking about forensics? What the fuck happened earlier? Mm-hmm. A little order around here. Oh, boy. I like how he didn't say that he was a therapist, that he was in stress management, which, you know.

Is that what he seemed? Yeah, he said stress management. that could be a massage you know, therapist for fuck's sake. What the hell? Or a horror. A horror. Yeah.

Or a drug dealer. Right. Like, that could be so many different careers. Yep. Stress management. God. Thank God that all that paper just happened to be there, huh? I know, right.

like rolling up a joint or a taco speaking of stress management yep giant human taco you yo chiaro taco bell you guys remember that yes yes

I say that from time to time and I got such weird looks for my kids are like what the fuck are you talking about dad and I'm like unfortunately it's been canceled now. It's not politically correct, but I know. I remember where they had the Godzilla movie.

You remember that? The shitty one, Matthew Broderick. Oh, yeah, that gym. And it's like the most commercials, okay? And the little dog stepped up and he saw Godzilla and he said, I think I need a bigger box. Yeah, you could not get away with that now. Like, it's too politically incorrect.

act. It's just sad because it was such a cute dog and such a cute character. Of course. What does the world become? We're living in it, baby. Yeah, man. It's a shit show.

Meanwhile, Phillips is up. I can see it. Kevin's getting airplayes ready for their Flet. Hey, we're doing an important duty for society right here. Wow, that blew up quick.

Yeah. That blew up real good. That is not going to be hot enough to get rid of all that evidence. I don't think so. Oh, no. But again, I mean, he leaves a house full of. forensic, so hey, what the fuck. So you're not

own a car? He whistling at it. He walks everywhere, which is weird because in Seattle, I don't think people do that. They bike. Drive. Is that that whistle

from like, uh, what the fuck was it? That Quentin Tarantino movie. God damn it. Oh, Kilbill. Yeah. Is that that whistle? Uh, kind of sounds like it. All right, kind of sounds like the one from Hannah. Remember?

The killers that were the jumpsuits that were from Europe, the Eastern European killers. Do you remember that, Brian? From Hannah? Yeah. Hi, Dad. That's a bad news about Dr. Bondering. Oh, Lord.

Well, he had to die. I shouldn't do my hour tomorrow. And why is he telling her this? He's the one that knows. Why don't we have so much fucking firewood back there? Look at that. He has to have order. He has to have everything the way he wants it to be.

Okay, that makes sense. That makes sense. And you know he was chopping that wood all crazy. Right. Getting out his anger. What do you say? He has control of his car. I think he's supposed to be.

someone that's got like dissociative identity disorder or like multiple personalities but he he comes across so shitty in his performance that it's really hard to tell

that's the director and the writer or at least going for right? Yeah yeah exactly and he's just kind of like well you know I'm just apathetic oh man terrible terrible

like he just does not express like Lance have you watched that Luca yet with your with your kids or grandkids did we lose Lance I'm here oh okay hey I was asking

did you watch that Luca yet with your yes yes on Disney Plus yeah I was going to I was going to do that later with my daughters watching it together. It's not too bad, man.

No? Okay. Every once in a while, I'm going to have to sneak away to piss, guys. Just FYI, I agree this is like. So. If you ask you a question, I don't answer. Just move on. Yeah, but it wasn't too bad.

You guys are going to watch it tonight or what? Yeah, I think, yeah, once we finish recording, I think I'm going to watch it with them. They were asking about it. At least it's included. have to pay the extra 30 bucks to get it. Exactly like Corella. I mean, I went ahead and paid for it. But it was really good.

Yeah, the wife and I went to see that at the theater. Oh, okay. But the kids went with us to see Quite Place too, and they love that. Oh, nice. I still need to go see that. That was a family affair. We all kind of went to see that one. What the fuck?

How high is the fucking postal service going to deliver a goddamn, envelope for fuck sake. I'm the only one that noticed some coldness? I'm sorry. Oh, it's a birdhouse. Oh, for fuck's sake. I thought it was a...

Oh, you thought of the mailbox? Oh, my God. Mailbox. Oh, yeah. Poor mailman, if that actually was. You got to try to throw it up there. I want my $2. Barry the hatchet, he said.

They had a breakthrough. As the psychiatrist would say. Isn't that sweet? You'll outgrow your problems. He said you're busy juggling boyfriends. Is that what she said? What are the boyfriends does she have? She's juggling more than just

boyfriends And she's showing a braw too Because she definitely Said don't grow up too fast now You hear Does get cold in Seattle Yeah it does That's true

That's true There is a scene you guys will love With our hearing a little bit FYI I got to go Take a piss, guys. Okay. Good luck.

Go to ransack the public library. Did he somewhere lose his mind, too? I know. He's got that crazy look as well. In American towns. So, I guess this goes with his whole ideal of a perfect family. You have to live in a perfect town. A town.

Yep. I don't think there is such a thing as a perfect town. that that's adorable and who gets that dressed up for Thanksgiving dinner Terry O'Quinn's family

yeah I don't I've never gotten that dressed up I I didn't think of this turkey stuff I could have like a hundred family members over but I'm not going to wear a suit and tie

wait wait wait wait you are the drumstick type You're a drumstick type Oh You know Until this moment

You know what all about Okay And screwing over Native Americans Hey what That was a weird Is this one of her boyfriend she's juggling?

It must be He's got a mean scooter What is dangerous you Come on Oh, God. That's definitely how you pick up girls is with a scooter. Yeah, stop being chicken shit and get on my scooter. Oh, my God.

All right, Brian. They're okay. They're going 10 miles per hour. Yeah. Oh, helmet. That's cool. All right, Brian. This is it.

This is the first episode. of our new podcast, The Lifetime Returns. All right. Who are you going to get to host that one? I thought you would do it. No. Not so much, huh? No.

I'll host it. There you go. Oh, although I do have some news for you, Brian. Huh. A.J., she's a $5 contributor, so she gets to pick a commentary. I didn't mind her picks last time. Yeah?

Yeah. Well, she wants us to do a commentary on Elvis Presley's Jail House Rock. That would be interesting. Yeah. Yeah. Might not be too bad, huh? Yeah, I think I could power through that one. And I think Lonnie is planning on

having to go's do one on Mother. The Jennifer Lawrence one? Yep. That's going to be a conversation. I don't think I like Mother either. You may have to revisit it to get my feelings on it. Dude, that's one of, there's only three movies I consider ten.

That one, The Exorcist, and Clecklech, Orange. Maybe I'll do Cleckberg, or I mean, not me, I'm sorry. Maybe Lonnie will be a lot to discuss, too. That would be a lot more fun, right? Yes. It'll be fine except for the rape. Yeah, that is a graphic fucking graphic. He's your father now, and you'll respect him.

I'm out of him. Well, at least he was a climbing through a window, right? That's true. He was at the front door. He's lost it. Uh-oh. Yeah, I kind of saw something come in hands there a little bit. Maybe this isn't the perfect family.

There's only one way to take care of that. Invite everybody down to his basement. He has nowhere to go. God, guys. The AC here in the portable AC in my garage is finally starting to kick in. Oh, nice. It feels so good.

During the day here in Texas, forget it. We ain't like Seattle. We don't have those mountains, you know? Yeah, over here in Panhandle, Florida. Oh, yeah. It gets to get hot, too, don't you? Oh, yeah, except for today,

but that's only because there was the damn tropical storm that pushed through. Brian, you're in heaven right now, aren't you? No, I'm in Alaska. No, but I mean, it's fucking heavenly right now, isn't it? Weather's perfect, isn't it? Yep, it's hot and steamy 41 degrees. Oh, God.

Are you fucking kidding me, dude? Yeah, it's weird because the last two years, two summers, like our summers have been way hotter than, they've ever been before, but we've just not been getting that at all this year. Ah, okay. Maybe it's running a little bit late this year. Yeah, it's been getting a lot of rain, too. Okay.

You know, the weather's fucked up all over. The West Coast has been, like, way in the hundreds. Like, Tucson was, like, 108 at, like, 8 a.m., I think, on Friday. Yeah, I think, on. one of my friends I was talking to, I think they're in, I want to stay Sacramento. Okay. And it was 118. Oh, my God.

118? Yeah. Right. That's... Wow. Man, I think it's safe to say that that chick in the last scene wanted some dick. Yep. And again, it's cold. Is this Brazil all of a sudden or what? That's kind of looked like a Freddie Krueger movie, doesn't it?

The filming and everything? Yeah. And it amni-bill. Mm-hmm. Weird. She's sitting in her therapist office, mowing. Maybe masturbating. Who knows?

Yeah. I called, I called, I called, little friend here, little sparky. This is such a weird. Wow. You missed it earlier. The Thanksgiving dinner scene where like the whole family was dressed up. He was dressed up as a turkey?

Is that a piece? That did look like a dick. What the fuck? like it, isn't it? Was he dressed up like a turkey or what? No, no, they were all, like, the whole family was dressed up like super nice, like the dad in a suit and tie. And I was commenting, I was saying, like, who the fuck does that? Who dresses up in a suit and tie for Thanksgiving dinner?

Nobody now, that's for sure. Exactly. So weird. I thought maybe they dressed up like pilgrims and Indians. I wouldn't put it past it with this guy. Yeah, no kidding. Is this the Terminator? Sarah Connor?

He figured out that he's been going, he figured out Terry O'Quinn's been going to, I guess this magazine had a list of the perfect towns to live in. Ah, okay. Potation there. He's got his suit ready. Yep. That's a huge shitter for a...

Let's change in identity. All right. It's putting on the spirit gum to put on the fake mustache. Oh. Got the creeper stash. Oh, that is a pedophile mustache. Yeah, no shit. Or as they call them in the military,

the molester stash. There you go, Lance. It was a hairpiece. I told you it was a fucking wig. That was a damn good wig. I got to give him that. I think so. In loss, he's like totally bald.

Is she crawling on that taco? Did he get rolled up into a taco? It looks like it, right? What the fuck is she doing? Walk on the paper. On the carpet. Oh, boy. This may be that scene where she does go to masturbate somewhere.

They're all wearing sweaters. Every fucking person in this movie is wearing a sweater. Cold. Wool sweaters. I fuck that. Even when I'm cold, not wearing a wool fucking sweater. I mean, I get it at Seattle, but they're not in fucking ice laugh the fuck. Whoa!

You're interrupting my baby. masturbating. You interrupted about masturbating. Rosdale, Washington. A great place to raise a family. Ah, looks like he's in Ireland. Jalliegel, Ireland. I'm Bill Orchkins.

Hey, you also got a creeper stash. Me too. How many little girls have you taken down? I don't know. Oh, God. Oh, God. Ouch. Oh, 20, 30.

I know that, baby. That's what I believe, man. Fucking the family. They're both creepy as shit. Ouch. It's not like a teacup or coffee or what? Murder flannel. Yeah.

Now he kind of looks like Dennis. copper a little bit somehow. I'm reading here this is loosely based on the story of John List, the New Jersey man who killed his family in 1971 and was on the run until 1989.

Holy shit, that's a long time to run. Yeah. I guess he was caught when his picture was put on America's Most Wanted. Who was that host that did that show, guys? Robert Stack. That's right.

He just looked like Robert's tact through a little bit. He sure will. He's going to murder you. Hey, children, I hate you. Somebody playing a piccolo or what? It's drawing him to his next family. Yeah, like the Pied Piper. Daddy's home

Oh boy Here we go I can easily replace this guy Yep Looks like Ed Begley Jr. For some reason With his electric car Right

How creepy Man What the fuck? What about did that? That is definitely not any of my kids. Fuck, no. Mine are like, don't look at me. Hell

no. This guy truly does not own a car. No, I don't think he does. Okay, movie's over. Oh, wait. Never mind. Nice land. I could have swear that fade out was the end of the movie. Whose car is this in this piece of shit?

The sister of or the his sister is the one that was murdered. She was the wife. All right. He's turned, he's turned into a vigilante private investigator. Yeah, the soap opera star, right?

Yeah, he circled in Seattle. Yeah, he did a big circle on Seattle and figured out. It was in that area. That's a big fucking search. Oh, shit. Well, not to forget, he found that magazine of the 10 best places to live. so he's just going to go to every single one. Yeah, that's not going to take, you know, months on end.

But hey, you know. Let's start with Seattle and we'll end it, Anchorage, Alaska, right? Does nobody ever realize he comes out of this bathroom, a different person? I know. It's not, man. It was like 20 people sitting there. Go in looking one way and come out, look in another. People are instantly going to be like, is this guy going to commit mass murder?

or like bomb or something or like what? I was like, what the fuck's the deal? The way he's dressed, I keep expecting to say, I'm ridden the house next door, ma'am. Can I do you do chimneys? Is this his new victim?

I mean, family? I guess. Has he already moved on? I'm not even paying attention at this point, maybe he's setting up a family ahead of time. You know, like, before you quit a job, you kind of look for a new one.

Yeah, while you're with that job Yeah, exactly. You look for the next one. That means... I'll have this family set up and then he'll go murdered the other one. Okay. I think you correct the code, Brian.

Oh. She just fucked up. Uh-oh. He's just left several days ago. Does she think he's the limo driver or what? Oh, she does think he's the limo driver, the camp driver. The bearded snoop, but he looks something like the guy who saw his house. He sells houses.

Yeah. You're still going to give her a ride. Oh, he's so close. So close. Wow, this is a 1970s action TV show right here. Yes. D. D-da.

Bap-ba. A little mystery in there. Oh, he just fucked up there. They're long. Bap-da-pump-pum. He almost murdered on people. Oh, man. Look at that European-licking house.

All right. Sorry about that. I had to go piss. Do I hear a dog marking? Yeah, that's my two dogs. Sorry about that. My German Shepherd's going to ape shit for some reason. Oh, man.

It adds to the show. Yeah, exactly. We love having dogs and kids on the show, right, Brian? All the time. He's not going to actually work there? Of course. Where else would I be? No, what I've got? I'm sorry.

This is very upsetting. I'm old man, Grace is still there. Get it. You should probably just see that. He's not going to actually buy that. Like, any intelligent, semi-intelligent person would be like, yeah, you're full of shit. Yeah. The director, Joseph Rubin, originally

wanted Jerry Blake to whistle the Barbara Streisand song the way we were. But the rights were too expensive. Oh, we just fucked her day up with a damn phone. Holy shit.

Sweetheart. No, she's not all right. No, you just beat her with a fucking phone. Oh, it's turned into a lifetime movie for sure. Oh, my God. Why was she going down there

anyways. You should escape him? I don't even know. Why? What the fuck? No, it's a lot of knives. No. No.

Yes. That one. Is that the one? That's the one. Fuck that. If you're gonna... Oh, no. Don't go for the dog.

Run! No. Oh. There's the poor dog alone. No. Don't come. Bad dog. Go. You didn't do anything to you, you piece of shit.

Go murder the wife. It's okay, murder. Not the dog. Not the dog. What the fuck? Do you see that? Yeah. He is hauling ass. Uh-oh. You let Toto go.

I think he was going to murder the fucking dog. Yeah, I guess. I mean, but why? To what end, right? He has to get rid of the entire. higher family. Very bad girl. Oh, got to let the nun cross, right? None of the kids, man.

That's a piece of shit car. Yeah, that thing's not going to go quick at all. I can believe it on. Up, there's that scene, Lance. Oh, boy. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-ha. Bapah Dada

Dada da da da It's all right guys I looked it up She is 24 Because I was The first time I was like I am incredibly uncomfortable Because she's supposed to be

Under the age of 18 Yeah But now that you You're a lot less uncomfortable Right Yeah Yeah Yeah

Dude, this is lifetime on steroids, Brian. What's what you set us up with here, man? It's a lot better than Phantom of the Opera. You do have an excellent point. All right, next week we're doing in the Heights, okay? Okay. Wait a minute. What am I saying?

Brian is the dude who schedules the show. I mean, you can't. That could be your cool of the week next week. I don't think so. Looks like he's holding a big dildo behind it. Right? Oh, yeah, I did. Uh-oh.

Oh. That's what you get. That is what you get for not being prepared. He's saying suck it. He didn't just stab him. He stabbed him and went up. Right. Trying to gut him like a fish.

You got enough. Come on, man. You got enough to, never mind. Take the fire. Is this the really end of this character? We fucking followed him through this entire movie for this. And then he fucking dies like a little bitch. Yeah, he said next time call before you come by.

that is true there's the 80s music I don't like people showing up without Collins well I don't either but I won't stab them hi pumpkin ouch

what the fuck he's gone low yeah that was that was weird yeah more than just weird yeah

oh they nobody can hear you Just fucking jump, man. Break the fucking window, bitch. Fucking stands there. Jesus Christ. Do something useful. Aye, they.

Here we go. Uh-oh. What? Okay. Fucking breaks through it like it's nothing. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, that dude's

Anyway. Hey, guys, AJ just came home and I went and took her a beer and she said, you've been drinking, haven't you? You guys ever got that speech before? Yeah. No. No?

You like that bastard. Oh, damn it's super nightmare on Elm Street. Look. Oh, my God. I mean, seriously, guys, did they not fucking rip off West Craven here or not? Yeah, they did without question. It's not a homage. It's a straight, like, rip off.

There's that fine line between ripoff and homage, and this one's just a rip off. Yeah, homage is the guy standing at the door and conjuring three, right, Brian? Remember that? He's holding the briefcase wearing the suit. looks just like the priest. I have not seen the conjuring three yet. You ain't missing nothing.

I gave it an 8 on 10. What did you give it, Brian? Five? Or something like that? Six. It's well made. It's just, I don't know. It's well filmed. I wanted more into the investigation

and a little bit more in the courtroom stuff. It definitely ain't no conjuring to or Conjuring, right? Yeah. That's kind of what I liked. It takes you out the haunted house thing. Yes.

Which I was all four. And it just kind of, for me, it dropped the ball. It's not a bad movie, though. It does sound interesting. I'll check it out. I mean, I've got HBO Macs, so why not? Yeah.

25 more days or whatever, right? I think till July 6th And while you're at it, check out in the Heights No, do not No, I will not I will not Any other recommendation, absolutely all I'll be open to

It's pretty bad and I like musicals, am I right Brian You love them And I didn't care for it Oh. The mom fucking shot him. There you go. Shoot him again. What are you waiting for?

What's that? Same again. Liz Cheney or what'd you say? Oh, right. Near the ass cheek. Ouch. Jelly hack. Jelly hack.

Why did I think Liz Cheney? Where did I get that from? Republican, Senator. I don't know where that kid I'm not sure Dick Chaney's daughter Yeah Okay

stab him in something Here we go He's still walking I know He's a persistent Fuck No shit Yeah it's literally in his heart

I love you Okay so Guys explain to me how there is a stepfather two and three. That's a great question. Somebody help me here. It's a matter, right? Oh, you know what? I think they nicked it, right?

It was just to the right of his ventricle. Yeah, I'll go with that. Okay, just checking. That's been shot and stabbed, and if he's not dead, I mean... Yeah, kind of like Jason, right? Yeah, exactly. well let's just sit here and reflect on the events of today my god

father's day oh yes I thought she was going to say that right Brian happy Father's Day from the horror returns yeah but I thought that's what she was going to say at the end right well since we're wrapping up the movie

to all you fathers out there God bless you God bless you damn right goddamn bullshit you put up with somebody back me up here yeah

and I'm gonna let all you fathers know that after after they're 18 to move out it doesn't stop it's worse oh God that's so much to you get a little bit of

freedom. Oh. You don't. Yeah, happy Father's Day. And at the end, the two women walk off, having cut down the big

erect. I know. It's so emblematic of like a ballast, Jesus. The two women were happy now that there were no men in their lives.

So, Sean, thank you for joining us for part two. Thank you for having me. This was amazing. I cannot appreciate, show enough appreciation of being able to come on again. Yeah, we definitely had a good time, man. I kind of wish Philip Inez had been here, but, you know, shit happens, right? Yeah, exactly.

It's all good. All right. Well, Brian, is there anything else coming up that you want to talk about for Stream Thienes or the action returns. Action returns. We announced, we don't usually do this, but we announced our next three shows. We are doing infinity, infinite.

I keep saying it wrong, on Paramount Plus. Okay. With Mark Wahlberg's new sci-fi action. I heard about me. I know what's talking about. After that, we were doing Rath of Man with Jason State. That was awesome. Some.

Yes, yes. And we had to do it. So we're going to do I was going to say Mr. Nobody. Nobody. Oh, yes. Another amazing movie. I watched that in theaters.

Same here, dude. That movie got me into the theaters again. Literally. No, I will buy it on Blu-ray when nobody comes out. And as far as stream fiends, we are got to think we just, as of today released House Party, and the next

episode is House Party, too. Why not, right? Yep, and there's wrestling returns out this week. We'll have another one out next week, I believe, and we got more bonus episodes, and of course, over on the Skater

Nes podcast network, they have East Society episode 222, I believe, they dropped. Damn. All right. Well, Sean, thank you for joining us again, man. Thank you. If you guys ever need me, just give me a shout. I'm happy to come on. You might be our go-to commentary guy, because I think we'll be doing more of these. Oh, hell yes. I am game. Like, seriously. This is a blast.

All right. Well, as always, we want to thank you guys for listening to another episode of The Horror Returns. We would love to hear your feedback and ideas. You can always reach us. at The Horror Returns at Gmail.com. Be sure to follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,

podveing, etc. Eventually, I started working on it today. Eventually, you're going to find

www. Thehorrorreturns. com. It's coming. Look for us on iTunes. If you like what you hear,

please rate us and review us. Next week, again, we ask the question. I think this is Brian's baby here.

We asked the question, is it really that bad? Part 4. And we're going to cover Vampire in Brooklyn. Is that Eddie Murphy? Oh, my God. Yes, yes. That'll be interesting. And my soul to take, is that like a West Craven abortion or what?

Yes, I think it was, spoiler. It might be his worst movie he's ever done. But thankfully, before he passed, he did screen for before he passed. All right. We can discuss that, but we are going to, is Matt coming on? I believe so.

His co-host is not. We'll probably get her another time, but Matt says he's definitely down to talk about these amazing pieces of cinema. So our brother from the UK, Matt, uh, would, will be on. So,

Sean, until the horror returns again. Good night.