The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #266: Is It Really THAT Bad? Part 4: Vampire In Brooklyn (1995) & My Soul To Take (2010)

Episode Date: June 28, 2021

This week, Matt from Eternal Darkness of Not So Spotless Minds joins us for a special Wes Craven edition of "Is It Really THAT Bad?" as we discuss Vampire in Brooklyn and My Soul to Take. Cool of the week includes Awake, Cooties, and The Cleansing Hour. Trailers are Candyman and Halloween Kills. The podcast spotlight shines on Pod Mortem. We get a brand new 5 Star Apple Podcasts review from Supermarcey. And we get feedback from Anthony Ybarra and Chuck Martinez. Thanks for listening!

You're listening to the horror returned podcast. This is Heather Langenkamp from Nightmare on Elm Street. Greetings, victims. For those of you delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify goal, welcome. You have found the place where the horror returns. Listeners beware

This podcast contains major plot spoilers In the foulest of language Join us In celebrating the old and the new The best and the worst in horror Ahoy, motherfuckers as you've noticed this is not Lance but we're here with Phil and Brian

and replacing Lance today is our good friend Matt Wood, how you doing man? Very well guys, thanks for having me back on. It's been a while, it's been a year, three months or so now. Yeah. Last on, but yeah, good to have me back. Awesome. So where can we find?

you just as a little plug for yourself. Ah, yeah. Well, since we've last spoken, you have mentioned it a few times. Yeah, myself and Kate started up Eternal Darkness of Not So Spotless Minds. Yes. Which you can find on Apple,

Stitcher and Podbean and everywhere else, you know, the usual formats. But, yeah, no, we're on to episode seven or eight. So, yeah, we're just, just chugging along nicely. We're just kind of getting into the groove of things, you know. Awesome. But, yeah, just getting over the kind of teething issues. That happens.

Yeah, sound quality and all that sort of stuff. But, yeah, we're getting there. We're getting there. Yeah, we've had some really great shows that we recorded, and then turns out they did not record. Yes. Watch out for those. The good old days. Yeah, we haven't done that yet. But it's been close.

It's a couple of squeaky bum times where we're just like, that didn't record, yeah? And we're like, oh, thank God. Yeah, ass. We've had complete shows where we've not even hit record at all. Ouch. So now usually there's at least two or three people recording. That's the way to do it. That's the way to do it.

uh well today we're going to tackle um episode number 266 can you believe it's is it really that bad part four this ought to be fun we're going to tackle uh what are we doing vampire in brooklyn and my soul to take so those ought to be exciting sure but first we'll roll into cool of the week uh Brian you want to start us out? We haven't really done cool the week in like a few weeks. I think I will go with a little Netflix movie called Awake. Oh.

Wasn't really expecting much. Netflix hasn't really been delivering a lot of good content lately. I was pleasantly surprised. with this one. Okay. I think I remember watching the trailer. What's it about? The basic plot is a global event happens, as does in a lot of movies, which kind of

wipes out electricity and all this stuff, and people are panicking. Oh, yeah. Not too far after that, people begin to realize they don't have the ability to go to sleep. And then after, after, after. a while, you know, the different stages of being sleep-deprives kind of kick in, you know, the disorientation, the hallucinations, and, you know, once your mind starts to go, then your body starts to kind of break down. And yeah, it was, like I said, a welcome surprise. I wasn't really expecting much.

There's a couple people that you recognize in it. Gina Rodriguez, Jennifer Jason Lee, pretty much the rest of the cast is unknown. I think that was Iron Fist. I don't know the actor's name,

but... Really? Yeah, he's in it. And I was like, oh, good for you. You're still acting after Iron Fist. Yeah. On to better things. So that was a definite surprise for me.

I really enjoyed that one. I kind of put it in that same category as Birdbox. Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking. Okay, yeah, yeah. I would say that I, because I wasn't a big fan of Birdbox, and I just kind of enjoyed this one, just seeing the madness that ensues when you haven't slept for four or five, six days.

and is it basically okay we can't spoil too much but is it everybody in that same state or just one group I believe it's a worldwide event oh wow okay yeah because I actually watch that one too so I'll steal a part of your cool

the week that was it was pretty good man I kind of forgot that I had watched it until you started explaining it but yeah very comparable to bird box yeah I don't think enough of people are really talking

about it. So that one's a definitely good recommendation. And of course, Loki is still moving along nicely. I'm not sure if I've seen the latest one.

Yeah. Check it out. A little bit more action-packed than this one. I'm liking Loki so far. It's pretty good. Yeah, it's good. But I think this one probably

had the most as far as like fighting, action and a little stunt work. and yeah, still good. Still good. I think we're halfway through already, because I think we're only getting six episodes.

Oh, wow. Okay. Okay. Well, then Dr. Strange ought to be coming out sometime in the near future, huh? Yeah, I think that kind of got delayed. I think we, if I get it right here, I think we get Black Widow on July 9th. Then the Eternals, then Spider-Man, which that has a lot to do with Dr. Strange. Oh, I got you.

And then we get Dr. Strange. Sorry, and that's happening all this summer? The movies I just announced, Dr. Strange is next year, but all the other ones, that's all this year. Brilliant, brilliant. Seems like a hell of a lead-up. Yeah. Yeah, it does. All right.

Good stuff. Matt, you got anything for us? I haven't had a particularly good week, film-wise. I've watched a lot of shit. But me and my daughter watch Cooties from 2014. Oh, yeah. On Prime Video at the moment, certainly in the UK. I don't know if it isn't in the States.

Have you guys seen that? Someone with Elijah Wood? Yes. My daughter didn't eat chicken nuggets for a bit while after that. My son wanted to watch it. He had heard about it from somebody else, and he wanted to watch it with me. So we sat down and watched that one. It was fun.

It is really good fun. I mean, my daughter's 11, and there's quite a lot of swearing. Yeah. And quite a lot of gore and stuff. But she's right. She found it funny. there's one scene when

somebody's head gets mashed in which she chuckled that so yeah she's definitely my daughter if that makes it any doubt you know

but yeah no she was chuckling to that when that guy's head got squashed so yeah that's pretty much my only cool of the week really I do have a not so cool of the week which was

George Romero's re-release or found film which hadn't been released I think called the amusement park. Yeah Oh yeah. Okay. You know Matt I'm kind of

there with you. I know a lot of people are kind of I don't know if it's because it's George Romero kind of praising it Yeah. I mean, it's fine for what it is, but I just, I was a little bit bored and just expecting a little bit more. Exactly, exactly. I was expecting, I don't know, I was expecting, like, zombies and stuff. I thought, I don't know what I was expecting, but I was expecting something to really happen,

but it just, it was just like, hey, old men, and just, you know. The place of old people. Yeah. I mean, I get what they're, what he was trying to. explain, but it was just so bloody boring. So, yeah, I don't

I don't get why people are digging him up. I think it's just because George, George Romero stuff, but yeah. Yeah, that whole thing could have been like a five minute short. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. So, yeah, that's the amusement park.

Yeah. I actually did watch that one too, but I didn't know any of the story behind it. I saw that it said 2021 and I clicked on it and I was like, this is some re-release of some old-ass movie? What the fuck is this? Because it sounded familiar.

I knew I'd heard of it, but I didn't know that it was some long-lost movie or some bullshit. And yeah, it was especially with the name attached to it. It was kind of a letdown. Yeah. Yeah, not that it

had a bad message or anything. It was just you know, a little long for what it was, they could have shortened it up by an hour. Yeah, yeah. I mean, the part of the thing it was, I really like the the poster for it, you know. Yeah.

The guy's head and the, um, that's why I clicked on it. Yeah, me too. I was like, oh, this looks good. And I heard a few people say, oh, yeah, George Romero, uh, film. Uh, I was like, oh, I'm straight, straight on that, but nah, it was just, yeah,

not for me, not for me. When the movie poster is better than the movie. wasn't it supposed to be like one of those sort of TV films like an advert to kind of put together to kind of put out to the public so that the public are

you know looking after the elderly yeah I think he I think he was hired to bring awareness to it and then I guess he kind of went a little overboard yeah did his own thing and whoever hired him was like this is a little bit

more than what we asked for. It was supposed to be a public service announcement. What kind of shit is this? Yeah, yeah. Well, that's got weird written all over it. Elder abuse. It's bad. Yeah. Oh, and

one of the other things, something slightly different. We started to watch Wonder Vision. Oh, okay. This is me, my daughter, my wife. We sat down to watch him. like, what the fuck is this?

This kind of... Is it like that? Is that like that all the way through? No, it takes a couple episodes to get there. Yeah. Okay, because we were just like, no, not digging this at all. All right. Well, I'll take over for a second.

I, uh, yeah, so I did watch that one and I kind of forgot about it. Awake was pretty good. I watched that one too. Um, and then I, you know what I had a lot of fun with? I was just scrolling around. on shutter and ran across a movie called The Cleansing Hour. Oh, the fake

exorcist internet show guy. Yeah, so it's some like douchebag preacher dude and they have this like fake exorcism YouTube show or some bullshit and then they really somebody really gets possessed by a demon

and it's not a fucking joke. It was a little cheesy and the demon was kind of over the top Like at one point the demon talking through some girl is like What did she say? You mess with them all eventually you're going to get the fucking horns That's like okay That's a shitty demon But I had a good time with it

At first time I can actually take of a cool little week off the top of my head, so there's that. I just, yeah, I'm trying to remember. I did actually, I checked another one out. We did the trailer for Dimension Part 2. Yeah, maybe you guys talking about that.

Yeah, supposed to be a horror comedy. I think the comedy was a little bit lost on me. I was expected. it to be violent and I think they kind of I don't know

it was a little bit of another letdown for me it's in black and white and from what I heard when they do black and white the blood is not really blood in the movie chocolate sauce yes yes so lots of chocolate sauce

going on in this movie but I did end up checking out the original one. I've not seen it before. I think it came out in 2015. Way better movie. Same director. Straightforward kind of horror thriller. Guy starts to get an

war veteran kind of gets abused by his caretaker and there's some twisty ternies in there and yeah, a lot better than the sequel. So better of an old person movie than the amusement park. Yep. If I had to rank those three from

worst to best amusement park is definitely the worst and the first dimension movies is the best. Well damn. Take that George Merro. All right.

I guess that's it for cool the week. We got any horror headlines? Let's see here. That's another thing. It's been a couple weeks since we did. So Bear with me. Dune. We're going to have to wait a few more weeks on Dune.

Originally got a October 1st release for theaters in HBO Max. It's getting pushed until October 22nd. Okay. So not that big of weight. Yeah. Let's see. The remake of the Trauma movie, The Toxic Avengers, a lot of people are jumping on the cast.

I think previously we talked about Peter Dinklage, I believe, is playing the toxic Avenger, which is weird. How's that working? But I'll take it, though. I'll take it. Yeah, there's Kevin Bacon as well, isn't he? Yeah, he's cast as the villain. I can only see, like, in my mind, like, it's this big, intense scene, and, like, the toxic Avengers is coming out, and it looks like, this giant creature and then Peter Dinklage walks up

and they're like, oh, I thought you'd be taller. You just sold me on the movie. And we just talked about him. Elijah Wood, joining the cast as well. Oh, yeah. That guy does a lot of weird movies. Yeah, he's definitely into the genre, especially horror.

He's trying to do his company because a lot of the horror movies that he's in it's through his company and he's trying to get a hold of a nightmare on Elm Street to do it. Is he? He wants to do a

remake of that and Children of the Corn because he recently just came out like he said Children of Corn has a scary concept so the movies should be scary not horrible like all the 10 sequels are.

That makes sense. Okay, let me see here Kind of scrolling through Sorry guys, I probably should have been a little bit better Prepared God damn it, Brian I know, I know I don't give a shit

I can't make it through 10 sentences without Tripping all over myself So what are we going to do here? Lacular getting a reboot, is it necessary? Do we need it? Why not? I've not seen the original, so...

That's pretty good, pretty good. Okay. But I don't know. I don't know if it's something we actually really need at this time. Okay. I know we had some headlines. See, this is Lance's fault. Lance guts everything.

Uh, yeah, I think that's pretty much it. I can't, unless you guys thought of something recently. Not that I can think of horror-related. Not really. It's been kind of another slow week. Although I'm sure there's

somebody screaming at their steering wheel right now. Yeah, right. you guys talk about this. Yeah. It's the biggest news of the week that I seem to not remember. All right. Well, we can...

Oh, here we go. Oh, there's a way to go. This one falls. We just talked about Lance. Actor Jackson White will be playing a young Judd Crandall in the upcoming Pet Cemetery prequel movie

coming to Paramount Plus. Nothing about that sounds awesome. Why? Because the remake was so good. We needed to get another pet cemetery movie. Especially one that goes straight to VOD. Scarlett Johansson will be starring in a Tower of Terror movie based on the Disney feature film adaption of the theme park ride. That's going to be garbage. Yes. Garbage, garbage, garbage.

And I believe that's it. As far as news, sorry guys, I'll be better prepared next week. It's a very hectic week, hectic week. It happens. But it's always a hectic week down in the trailer park. So we're going to take a little trip down there where we bring you the big, the small, and sometimes the very, very weird. Brian, what's our first new trailer to talk about this week?

There's always something going on in the trailer park. Boy, that's what makes it fun. Yes, let's see. The first one we're going to talk about, we talked about the, I guess they're calling it a teaser trailer, but it's not a teaser trailer when the trailer is over two minutes long. But we've now gotten a recent official full trailer

of Candyman. the sequel slash reboot of the classic how long has this thing been supposed to come out for let's see we would have reviewed it last year October I think it was due wasn't it yeah both trailers we will be talking about tonight we would have already

talked about these movies a year ago good old COVID but I'll start with Candyman. The one thing that I took away from this film that I'm kind of excited for is the scene where the guy is

acquiring about Candyman asking questions, you know, hearing the story and then he asked the question, who is he? And then the guy tells him he's not a he. He's an entire hive. So is it a spirit that can

take over more than one person? Or, you know, is it going to be more than one candy man in this movie? Metamorphosize into various different shapes. Yeah, I think you could be right there. Because from what I understand, the lead actor, I've heard that he is the new Candyman. Tony Todd has also been cast in a movie, but we get a lot of shots of another different actor

kind of in the Candyman get up. So that's kind of where my head is that we're, we're going to get multiple candy, man. I think he can be right. Well, no telling. I'll see what kind of hype this thing gets when it comes out. I've kind of lost my interest in it about a year ago, though. You wasn't a big fan of the original one, was you?

No, I wasn't a huge fan of the... I mean, like, I watched it, but it's never been one of my favorites. Matt, what you think? Well, yeah, I quite enjoyed the first one. Yeah, I like the whole backstory and, you know, the whole kind of street ghetto vibe and the whole, you know, neighborhood and their own kind of personal, you know, you know what I'm trying to say, their own personal, you know, horror story, if that makes sense. Which is another thing that leads me to believe that it's different candy men because we get a backstory, you know, with the whole him giving out candy to children and the candy had razor blades and the police killed them. Come to find out that he wasn't the one giving out the candy, that's not the backstory of the Tony Todd Candyman that we get in the original movie. No, and it looks to me like that backstory was probably a really.

rewrite. Because I don't think that was in the when it was supposed to come out a year ago or whatever. It could be, but the movie's been done for like two years. Yeah. I think it looks good. I think the production

looks really good. We're all obviously going to watch it. You know, whether we want to or not, I think it's just going to be one of those films you're like yeah let's go to the theater to watch that but no I'm looking forward to it it should be good

nice I hope so let me double check on the release date I believe it is in August 27th August 27th they bumped it up okay nice well see and I'm kind of feeling the same way

about Black Widow like I was excited about it but like a year ago. Are we doing this thing or not? Yeah, I don't know. I mean, Black Widow,

I think is going to, I know it's going to be good. Yeah. But I think it'll you'll get that feeling when you watch the movie. I think I'm kind of there with you. I kind of forgot about it. You know what's coming.

Yeah, you get sucked into it as soon as it starts rolling. Get it back in the swing of things. Speaking of getting back into the swing of things, Halloween kills. Finally, finally, got a trailer. After all this time,

all this waiting, I will kick this off again. I think they showed way too much. Oh, yeah. This trailer was almost three minutes. And yeah. I would,

will say, though, I liked everything I saw in the trailer. I think this is going to be a very violent movie. And the one thing that gets me really excited is they're not running from Michael no more.

They're going after him. I like that line where Jamie Lee Curtis's is DeLory is just like, it descends tonight. So I like the whole bring the fight aspect to Michael. I don't necessarily know it's going to pay off for quite a few people, because I know we see a whole group of them. These are a lot of characters from the original

John Carpenter Halloween movie growing up now. So, yeah, I don't think, I don't think they're going to make it into, what is it, Halloween ends is the next one. Oh, okay. Well, yeah and Jamie Lee Curtis I mean maybe it's just because she's in a hospital robe in this one but doesn't look quite as badass as she did in the last one but yeah I'll agree with you I think it uh I'm kind of excited about it probably not as much as I was for the last one but again it's because I've been hearing about this fucking movie for like two years and here we are so I eventually the buzz wears off you can't keep teasing Yeah, but I mean it's going to be in October So the buzz will creep back in again You know

We'll be giving up course it definitely Yeah, we'll have watched a bunch of cheesy Halloween movies And then when this comes out I'm sure I'll be super stoked about it Yeah, definitely looking forward to it Like I said, very violent Because you know they showed us the kills So

We know we don't know we're getting gory kills but uh i matt you're right it's we're getting in in october you know Halloween season Halloween movie new Halloween movie for a Halloween season so yeah I'll definitely be pumped up in the theater hopefully my theater crowd will be a lot better because uh since we did the show that was probably my worst experience in the theater because it was jam packed with i say around the ages of 13 to 18 bunch of dumb ass kids Yes. Halloween kills

October 15th Before we end the trailer park Have you guys seen the trailer for Pig The new Nicholas Cage movie? Not yet. I've heard about the film though. I am looking forward to this one Not because of my fandom for Nicholas Cage

But it looks a very It's beautifully shot Is it? Wow And he's a reclusive truffle farmer that lives in the woods by himself with his pig. What? And then somebody steals his pig, and it kind of gives me that John Wick, you know, the pig probably meant a lot more than, you know, just a pig to us.

Who steals a pig? And then on his journey of looking for him, you come to find out that he was, this is what I'm getting from the trailer, that he was like a famous chef, like a chef chef fancy you know and he something happened in his life to drive him to go live in the woods by himself and uh it's not a 24 uh phil but it gives me those a 24 type vibes okay oh okay what was that sorry sorry i go i was gonna say uh beautifully shot and uh definitely looking forward to that one too and that's that's really fairly recently. It could come out

fairly soon, isn't it? The release date on that one is next month, July 16th. Okay. That's random, man. Dude, Nicholas Cage has picked the weirdest fucking movies to be doing.

And they're all kind of great. I don't they, yeah. He doesn't give a fuck, though, does he? No. Movie about a pig? Sure. Sign me out. I got to fight evil animatronic

Chuckie cheese type characters and I don't say a word in a movie. Sign me up. Well, they're working for him. I'm impressed. More than I thought I would be, especially after some of those. I still rewatch Mandy.

Oh, yeah. Great. It gets better. It's great. Didn't Lance? Not like Mandy. Lance, I don't think it likes Nick Cage.

At first he didn't, and then we watched it on mushrooms, and that changed the story. A magical night. Brilliant. All right, well, on to listener feedback. This week, we're shining

the podcast spotlight on Pod Mortum, a horror podcast. Salutations. Pod Mortum is a horror podcast. dedicated to bringing you a scene-by-scene film reviews with healthy doses of trivia, commentary, and yucks.

Join us as we bring you varying points of view on contemporary, classic, and cold horror films every week. So definitely check them out. Yep, and happy birthday to one of their hosts, Renee. Happy birthday from us. Happy birthday, Renee. I have not listened to the new episode, but the episode before you guys are making me want to go rea. visit audition. Have not seen audition in a while, and it seemed like all of them liked it their first time

watch, but on the rewatch got something a lot different out of the movie than they originally seen. So probably going to get into a rewatch this week. Cool. All right. In-depth stuff. Oh, and we have a brand new five-star Apple Podcast review. Yeah.

One of the greatest, one of the most fun and entertaining podcast out there. These guys love horror and watch everything. Such great chemistry. Love it. Super Marcy. I don't know if Marcy counts, but we'll give it there. Thanks. What do we have for?

Are we giving her some cool gear? Giving her a handshake. I don't know. Yeah, we got something for her. We got something. I can't say we have T-shirts because I don't have a few people

still asking for their T-shirts. But we're getting there. We'll get there. And, oh, speaking of prizes, did I tell you that I'd watch PsychoGorman finally? I think you mentioned it. Okay.

But didn't really speak on it. What do you think? I could remember if I put that on my cool of the week. I loved it. It was fucking great, man. And I've watched it like twice now. And, uh, yeah, it was, it's, it's, it's just a really fun, funny horror movie. I watched it with the kids. They were totally cool with it. You know, there's a couple of adult

jokes, but nothing major. Uh, definitely some gore, but, you know, nothing they haven't seen. Mimi is fantastic. Yeah. Maybe he's awesome. You don't know if you're supposed to hate her or love her. I know, I kind of both. Is that the little girl? Yeah. Oh, fuck, I hated her.

She was like obnoxiously independent. I mean, she's clearly the character's written that you're supposed to hate her. But there's at times when I kind of love her. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I need to watch that again because I, I did not like it.

No. I don't know. I just, yeah, I think I'm just missed, missed it. I didn't find it funny at all. I don't know. I miss me in a really shit mood or something, but yeah, I need to re-watch that one. I do not care for honky boys, or do I? I love when the magazine get destroyed at the end.

he was like no not by uncie boys and uh crazy ball crazy ball is definitely a game uh came that came

was come up with by kids because the rules made absolutely no sense yeah it looked like some dumb ass kid games that she would come up with all right sorry for the interjection just had to throw that in there

because uh we were giving away the steel book copy um regarding the real quick that's gone oh son of a bitch sorry marsy last copy's gone

marcy there is a steel book a shining the shining steel book of the shining and a 4k steel book of the saw but I know Matt I know you guys got different regions for your blue

rays so I don't know point. But, Marcy, we got you. Work somehow. Regarding the new it action figure, Anthony

I don't know how I say Ibarra says need that packaging artwork is killer. I imagine that's a pretty cool action figure. Yeah, they usually action figures are so well

design nowadays. Very detailed. So, yeah, a lot of especially it. Yeah, that one, I see a lot of figures of penny wise and they're usually good.

Makes sense. Regarding sleepless unrest, Chuck Martinez says the struggle, fear, and terror is real. Oh my God, protect us all. I cannot wait to see this. And that is it for listener feedback.

this week. As always. Sorry to cut you off again. Yeah. Got a little Texas Fright Mirror news. What? I forgot about that. Some guests have been confirmed, but there has been some cancellations.

I guess start with the cancellations real quick. David Cronenberg, Justin Long, Virginia Madsen, Bill Mosley, Clyde Barker, Amy Locan, Mink Stoll. Sorry, but I don't know who Mink Stahl is, but that's an awesome name. Sounds like a porn star. Emily Perkins and Lance's favorite scream actor Skeet Ulbridge all have canceled. I was wondering what happened to that guy. But on the lighter side for Lance, his guy, Malcolm McDowell, has just signed on and will be a Texas Frightmare in September.

as well as Charles Seifer from the original Halloween movie Brad Greenquest from the good pet cemetery movie he was the ghost that was following the main actor around kind of warning him about the pet cemetery okay Tamara Glenn and Damien Malfi I think that's how you say his name he was the the sackhead guy in the

Strangers Pray at Night the sequel. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, yeah. And Ed Neil. Because he had a fucking Harry Potter kid. I hate that guy. Sorry. And Ed Neil, he was

the original Texas chainsaw massacre. He was the crazy guy they picked up in the van. Oh, yeah. Oh, right, yeah. But no, Gronenberg. That's no. But they said as far as the people that have

canceled, there is a possibility that they might rebook them. Quick question. What's the scenario with COVID at the States of the moment? You know, is it, you guys like almost back to normal? Up here where I am, everything's back open. Me and my family, we still make sure to put on our mask and, you know, be responsible out there.

But everything's back open. Okay. And I presume you've all had your jobs. I have not. Oh. I actually, even though I was totally against it, I went and got mine. So, yeah, it's... Once they said you can kind of go back to normal after you get the vaccine, I did it. And it is pretty much back to normal out here.

It's kind of rare you see somebody wearing a mask. Yeah. It's back open, full capacity. I have, you know, not to... get on a different topic of a podcast, but I have a couple medical issues. I need to make sure it's okay before I... I think that would be a good idea.

Yeah. Yeah. Considering there's nobody to sue. Yes. That's a... Don't want to do the podcast from a hospital bed. No. Absolutely not.

Well, on that note, Our intro comes to you from Steve Carlton of the League of Geeks with the Z. Artwork is from Nasulani. And if you'd like to help us out, please consider becoming a Patreon patron. We'll let you pick the movies for a future show at any amount. And for $5 or more, you can pick a commentary for a future bonus show. And of course, if you have a chance, please give us a five-star Apple podcast review. and you may win some cool shit that has yet to be determined since we're almost out of steel books.

But Marcy will definitely get you something. That was awesome. Thank you so much. And on to our featured attractions. Is it really that bad? Which seems like strange titles with this one. So first we'll go Vampire in Brooklyn and my soul to take. So vampire in Brooklyn.

Yep, that's the Eddie Murphy one. A ship docks in Brooklyn with all its crew dead. But someone gets off and the killing continues on land. A Caribbean vampire is searching for a specific woman, half human, half vampire. Which totally makes sense because she looks exactly the same now as she did in this movie. Rita is the detective investigating the many killings. Uh, director is West Craven, uh, also known for cursed, red eye, a bunch of other shit. Um, writers are Charlie Murphy.

Uh, Michael Lucker and Chris Parker. Really? Charlie Murphy. Charlie Murphy. Yeah. I hung out with him one time. Did you really? Yeah. No fucking way.

Yeah, was, uh, my friend was, uh, he was, he used to, uh, promote concerts and comedy shows up here. and Eddie Murphy was on his comedy tour, or not Eddie Murphy, Charlie Murphy, and hung out with him at the little after hours at the club. That's pretty awesome. Very nice guy. Yeah, he seems pretty down to earth. Yeah, he kind of actually left early.

He said he doesn't really do the club and after-party scene anymore. And yeah, this was actually, I think a few months before he passed. Oh, wow. Well, you know, after his Prince and and fuck your couch stories. All right.

Sonia Davis and Angela Bassett's stunt double died in an accident on the set. That's not good. It's a good thing she had a stunt double. According to Charlie Murphy, the movie was meant to be a straight horror movie with no laughs, but

West Craven brought a different focus to the film. And it was still for a vampire in Brooklyn that's Eddie Murphy, way more of a serious movie than you would expect. Yeah, we'll get into it, definitely. All right, Matt, what did you think about vampire in Brooklyn? Okay. Now, I hadn't seen this film before. it's my first watch

and when I read that it was a horror comedy I thought yeah okay Eddie Murphy he's funny yeah I didn't find this funny at all

apart from Ahoy, motherfucker exactly I think that was the only funny line and I did spit out my beer when I heard of say that. I thought, yeah, that's brilliant. As soon as he said it, I was like, oh, I'm definitely using that

tonight. Is that John Witherspoon? Yeah. He had a couple great lines when he first, when he first meets Eddie, he sees him, or I'm sorry, Maximilian, when he sees him, he's like, I had the same hair and clothes back at 62. I was like, no, you didn't.

That guy was fucking hilarious. rest and peace John Wood's moon, rest and peace Oh, rest and peace Um Yeah Yeah Yeah

I didn't I didn't really find this funny at all It's vaguely horror based It's just more of a I suppose Romantic comedy He says as inverted com Um

Yeah That makes sense I thought I thought I thought Eddie Murphy was well I didn't really like him as Maximilian I thought he had a particularly

bizarre voice yeah the accent was the accent that was just it was bizarre yeah I couldn't get down with that at all but then I thought he was pretty good as the preacher and as Gido

which I thought was pretty amazing um I don't really know what else to say. I mean, we can talk about the actual film, but yeah, from an overall opinion, I found this film rather lacking, personally. Well, I guess it really was that bad.

No, I definitely see what you're saying. Like the Guido one, I had to do a double take on that one, because I was like, I was pretty sure it was Eddie Murphy. But man, I was eyeballing that guy, and I was like, is that him? They did a really good makeup job. This is like pre the clumps, right? Yeah, this is getting into his. Me and Ness talked about it on, I think action, one of our many, many shows we do.

This is getting into the Paramount years where they were just throwing him money. Oh, yeah. When some of the bad movies start happening. but it didn't matter because he was getting Shrek money and whatever else they were stalked at him so I think this is around that time. Yeah, but like, how did, like on paper, this, who greenlit this thing? They were like, we're doing a movie about what? Oh, Eddie Murphy's in it.

All right. And Wes Craven directing it. Yeah. Like, they got some talent for this movie. and it was Yeah, I mean It's not as It's not as bad as it sounds like it's going to be

But it's also not really very funny Like there's There's a few little comic relief moments But it's not really a comedy It's almost a straight up horror movie With a few little comic relief moments From really only two guys And Eddie Murphy's not one of them

Well until he does his other characters Like The Preacher I thought was pretty funny. Evil is good. Oh, God damn. But, you know, aside from just Eddie Murphy being Eddie Murphy,

and of course, you know, Angela Bassett always look at. Do you find she looks a bit like a transvestite? I, there was times in this much, like the scene where she's getting dressed up to go out

with Maximilian. She looked gorgeous. Yeah. But her, I'm a tough street cop detective look. Yeah, I can see. Yeah. She's, she does have a specific angry face

that she does. That's a little off-putting. Do cops really dress like that? I notice in movies when they call in the lead detectives, they're always dressed, I guess super cool, I guess. supposedly in the 90s.

I don't know. Or they wear they like a... Yeah, awesome suit, yeah. But I mean, she's 62 years old right now and she's on... Yeah, what's one of those fucking... Copper firefighter shows on TV. And still...

She looks awesome in a new Netflix movie. I think she looks better now than she's younger. Um, but yeah, and I, I, I didn't hate it, but am I going to watch this movie again anytime in the near future? No, not at all. So it's just kind of okay. Yeah. Uh, Brian, what do you think? Is this really that bad? I think the question is, or the answer is yes. This movie is bad, really bad. really bad

it's interesting that and you brought up in the trivia that this was supposed to be a straightforward horror movie I think that's the problem of the movie yes because at times I don't think it knows what to be should it be serious

should it be funny they needed some Wayans brothers up in this motherfucker yeah yeah the accents I didn't I didn't get his accent he lived hundreds of lives, but he has this weird, I don't know where he's from, accent. Even the, she's only in the movie a couple times.

I don't know the actresses name. She played the police captain, the police chief. I've seen this actress in many movies. She does not have a Brooklyn accent, and she was laying it heavy every time she said something. Yeah. He was like, oh, we got to leave. You need to get out of here. You know, I'm just, I was like, what is going on?

There was some cool things that they, I felt like they were going with initially. Like when he originally came in, when he killed those two two gangsters in the beginning, how he just kind of, the fog just rolled in. And that's how he came in. That was cool. Yeah. That was cool. But then they went to this, they changed it up. And he was some kind of little flashed.

flashing light that would move around super fast and I didn't like that. It should have went with the fog. Yeah. He looked apart. I mean, looks wild, but the accent was, it

all came, it kept coming back to the accent. And it was just driving me crazy. Yeah, I mean, I like a lot of people in the cast, but I just, I don't, I don't think anybody really knew for sure what kind of movie they were making. Yeah.

Like Dean Hardison, he was in a comedy movie. John Witherspoon was in a comedy movie. Eddie Murphy, Angela Bassett, I think the other actor, the Plater partner, Alex Payne. I think they were all in a serious movie. Yeah. That was a good way to describe it right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. And then they said they brought in West Craven.

to bring the comedic element, which is a little weird to me that you would bring in West Craven to bring in the comedic element. Yeah, yeah, bizarre. Yeah, I can't give this a passing grade. It was bad then,

and it's fucking worse now. The look of, when they're in full vampire mode at the end, they look like Klingons from Star Trek. I didn't get what they were supposed to be going for. I mean, I don't know. Trying not to get angry at this movie because I did watch.

I watched it twice just to see. Yeah, see if I catch anything, maybe something. When I watched it the first time, I just got that. It felt uneven to me. And I was like, maybe it was just me. I wasn't just in the right mood to watch a comedy. And then when I watched it, I was like, I'm not getting comedy. Because it just doesn't feel like a comedy.

It feels like it was something else. And then they tried to make it into a comedy. Yeah, it is kind of just a creepy, romantic comedy. Yeah. Sort of not. Even that, really. With a splattering of horror. Yeah, which is, it's not even scary either.

Yeah, it took them a while to get going. I was like, okay, we need to have, if we're doing this, we need to have some cheesy kills or something. Because, I mean, obviously they did a great makeup job on Eddie Murphy. Yeah. When he was playing his other characters. Yeah. They'd just drop the ball when they made him into a Clingon.

Yeah, that'll do it. All right. So note to self of making a movie, no Clingons. No, especially it. If you're doing Star Trek, yes. Vampire movie, no. Right. All right.

So, Matt, what's your score on Vampire in Brooklyn? Oh, my word. Vampire in Brooklyn, I'm afraid I'm going to have to give three a hoy motherfuckers out of ten. I'm sure there was some other good quotes in there, but that guy cracks me up. That was the only one that stuck. Brian, what do you think?

I'll be a little bit more generous. I'll give it three and a half of aoy motherfuckers. Yeah, I can't go a whole lot higher. I mean, it wasn't just a fucking terrible movie. It was just kind of like a little bit boring. Yeah, it was confused. I'm going to give it a four. Like, I don't plan on watching it again,

but it wasn't like a complete and total waste of time. So there's that, which is nice. Put that on the Blu-ray. Yeah. All right. So now we'll move on to my soul to take, which I had never seen before. Yeah, less than known, he did this, and then he did scream for before he passed. Yeah.

So another West Craven one. A serial killer returns to his hometown to stock seven children who share the same birthday as the date he was allegedly put to That's unfortunate for them. Yeah. In an attempt to promote the film, Road Picture staged a fake stabbing at the movie premiere and posted it onto popular video viewing site YouTube,

which showed a man being stabbed in front of West Craven and the rest of the cast of the movie using a plastic knife. That sounds like a terrible idea. The title, my soul to take was taken from the children's prayer. Now I lay me down to sleep. Pray Lord of my soul to keep.

If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take. And then Freddie jumps out. Which is also used in West Craven's earlier film, A Nightmare on Elm Street. Ah. Daha. And some Metallica. All right. So, Matt, what did you think about my soul?

to take. This has got a lot of people in it. Yeah, I was like, hey, it's you and it's you. And the other guy. Yeah. Well, this one was, it's my first watch again. I hadn't seen this one. But this one is a lot better than last

one. Oh, yeah. Yeah, no, I hadn't see this. So, obviously, West Craven is obviously famous for a nightmare on Elm Street. and actually I hadn't heard anybody talk about this film and I think it needs a bit more discussion because it's actually all right yeah

you know it's quite an interesting take on I think primarily it's about schizophrenia and multiple what do you call it multiple thingy disorder multiple personality personality thank you disorder. Sorry, I'm a bit tired. And yeah, I thought it was a

decent film. I thought it was well cast. I like the characters. I thought they're all pretty decent. Especially what's a guy, bug. It was his name? Bug. Yeah. Max the Row. Max the Row. Yeah. I thought he did

a decent job. And the other guy who played Alex. John McGarrow, is it John Magarro? Something like that. Yeah, I thought it was pretty decent. Obviously, yeah, that's pretty much what I've got to say about it from an, you know, all-round perspective. Yeah, I thought it was all right. All right.

Brian, what did you think about it? I originally, when I seen this, when it first came out, I did not like it, but I haven't seen it since then, and this rewatched completely changed my mind on it. I actually enjoyed this one. Is it really that bad? I would say, no, it's not, it's not bad. It's not West Craven's best. But it is what Vampire and Brooklyn comparing these two, this one is far and above that one.

Yeah. Yeah. And this one feels West Craven. almost feels like it could be in the scream universe. Right. In the same set, in the same world, which I really dug.

I, yeah, Phil, there's a lot of people popping up in the cat. I mean, Frank Grillo shows up. Fucking, what's her name from Walking Dead? Michelle. Yeah, Michone shows up.

I did a double take on her. I was like, is that you? I know. I had to ask my wife. I was like, is that Michelle? And, you know, a lot of younger actors, well, they were younger actors at the time, pop up in here. I thought the overall story, I love the opening, that whole.

It was a great opening. Yeah, the whole, like you said, Matt, the whole schizophrenic, you know, him talking in different personalities and the whole scene with the cops coming in him murdering his wife and and that guy is the prosecutor on law and order SVU. Oh, nice. I had to look that up too because I was like,

who is this guy? He is. He's like kind of like an asshole in that show. Yeah. Yeah, okay. I was like, yeah, I know that guy too. I like the whole aspect of if the kid, what did they call him the Ripper?

Yeah. If he didn't die that night, then he's still here and he's still coming after us. But if he did die, his soul went into one of the seven children that was born. And you just, you didn't know who it was throughout the movie. And I just, I had a lot of fun with it. And, you know, it's as far as the kills, you know, it's a typical slasher, stabby, stabby, the whole, you know, thing to it. But I think overall it was the story that was being told that,

that I had a lot of fun with. And yeah, it definitely gets thumbs up for me on this one. As far as, is it really that bad? It is not. Great. Yeah. I think I'll agree with you. I'm glad they didn't do a million sequels to it.

So there's that. But it's exactly what you would think, like 90s, West Craven, poor teenage kids. Mm-hmm. It fits all of those tropes to a T. The acting is actually really good. There's so many people in here that you've seen before. It's usually, oh, hey, it's that guy from that thing, you know? Yeah, yeah.

And they all did a great job of like the jock douche kid. Yeah. I wanted to kick his ass. I know. Yeah, yeah. When he died. There's no way in any. multiverse ever

that someone would walk up to me and was like oh I'm supposed to give you an eight and that's the level of how hard I'm going to punch you and it's okay I don't think so and I thought he was great that's my purse I don't know you

yeah the the little girl group that was like controlling everything and I for throughout the movie, I didn't know the main girl, what they called, Fang? I didn't realize that was his sister until, like, later in the movie.

Yeah, me too. I was like, damn, your sister is a bitch. Yeah. But then again, I think because he got a, what, a three? I was like, oh, that was probably because your sister, so. What was that whole scoring

thing? That went straight over my head. I guess she can, she's like the hierarchy of the cool kids and if she says you get a you get a I guess they go through

one through ten and ten and being the highest of someone coming up and just beating the shit out of you and she just tells people like oh that that kid is an eight this kid is a six and uh right okay

she's running a crime ring yeah and and so so Brandon's the chap that does the beating for her. Is that correct? Yeah, the guy that... College douche.

Yeah, that has a girl pregnant and was chasing another girl through the woods as if he was going to rape her. I was like, you're doing a whole lot, the high school kid. Yeah, no kid. Well, fortunately, he died. Fuck that kid.

Yeah. Damn right. But yeah, acting, acting was great. I thought the special effects were pretty good. I mean, it's, you know, pretty standard slasher stuff.

There was nothing really super surprising. Stomach stab, throat slit. Yeah. But the story was interesting. It kept me entertained. It had a couple

of little twisty turnies at the end, but nothing major. It was very scream before scream. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Hmm. And actually very nightmare I'm there in Amstreet in many ways.

Yeah. I think... I can see that. You know, just in the writing and the whole and the whole kind of design slash design, you know. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, which makes me think, going back to Vampire and Brooklyn, how much did he really have a hand in that? Yeah. Because that felt like nothing I would ever...

If you didn't tell me West Craven did it. And then after I watched the movie, you asked me, okay, who do you think directed it? I wouldn't say West Craven. Well, and I think Charlie Murphy had a lot more to do with that movie than, I mean, because his name was all over the credits. I bet you he basically directed it too. Probably. Anyo. This one was way better.

This is more West Craven. All right. So let's do scores on this one. Matt, what do you think? I'm going to give this one seven punches to the gut out of 10. Oh, that'll work. Brian? I will also give it seven punches out of 10,

and it has to be to the douchy guy. He gets to seven punches. Oh, that almost makes... That almost makes me want to give him an extra punch. Oh, we didn't even talk about the... the super religious girl. I thought she was going to be a final character. I know. I really thought she was going to be more important.

And then the blonde chick, who he obviously had a crush on, I thought she was going to be more important. I was disappointed with her kill. Yeah. Because you see her feet dangling in the air and then all this blood porn. And I was like, what is happening to her? Yeah. Is he hanging her on a branch?

And that was probably, I would say that that was probably my, most disappointing kill right there but yeah great acting I thought but yeah I think 7 is a fair score for this movie

it was I don't know how I missed this like I remember it coming out and it just never really crossed my radar again I remember it had very little advertising Yeah, it's kind of an underrated gentleman.

Well, except for the fake stabby-stabby. Probably a bad idea. Yeah, I would have thought, as is Wes Craven, that you would hear more about it, but you just don't. Yeah, because I'm looking here right before this, he did red eye, which was decent. Yeah, that was a good one. Curse was okay, but then he did scream three

in Courtney Cox's ridiculous bangs and hair. is in that movie. She just gets weirder and weirder looking as she gets older. Yeah, I like how she can make fun of that hairstyle that she had in Scream 3 now. Yeah, that's true.

At least, at least you know, Courtney. All right. So that one may be not so bad vampire, Bill Clinton? Yeah, it's that bad. Yeah. Yeah. Any last words or comments? I think, yeah, definitely people should check out my soul to take.

I don't hear a lot of people talking about it. And the only times I really did hear it bring up was this was one of his least successful, maybe one of his least like movies. And I kind of think it deserves a rewatch for people who think that. Yeah, I agree. I agree with that. Yeah. I mean, geez, on Metacritic, it's got a score of 25.

Ouch. Yeah, that's wrong. Yeah, that's way low. 4.8 on IMDB. Gosh, that's so low. I mean, I get that. A lot of horror movies get shitty scores to begin with, but, yeah, this one is better than it sounds.

It's really not that bad. They probably, people probably wanted it in it. It was like, we didn't want this. Just do another screen movie. Yeah. yeah vampire Brooklyn with Eddie Murphy's fucking Van Damme hard target

hair we just forget about that one Is that the one he knocked the snake out I was talking about this the other day I don't know how Van Dam popped up But I was like yeah he had that fucking Rockin' mullet Oh geez

I could be wrong but I think that's the one He grabs a snake And then punches it and knock it off. Because he's like Cajun or some shit, right? Yeah. And Wilford Brimley's in it.

And he has a ridiculous Cajun accent. Mr. Diabetes. Diabetes. Well, that's how interesting these movies are. We went on to Van Dam. I mean, that mullet and

knocking out snakes. I mean, come on now. Yeah. How can you now remember that? All right there. Real quick, what was the one where he like, didn't he go to prison in one of them and played like this undercover guy in prison? What was the name of that movie? Oh, here. Somebody's going to pull my action movie card. I know what you're talking about. That was Van Dam though, right?

Yeah, because he was, I think like his brother, somebody got killed. Yeah, that sounds right. went undercover and he was fighting people in prison and Lion, lion, lion something? No, Lionheart was he had to

fight underground street fights. That one guy was always like, Lionheart. I don't know why. Because I was trying to remember the name of that fucking movie the other day. I don't know why. Anyway.

So there's the end of this show. Have fun, guys. As always, we wanted to thank you for listening to another episode of The Horror Returns. We love to hear your feedback and ideas, and you can always reach us at the Horror Returns at gmail.com. Be sure to follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Podbean, all the things. Just search for the Horror Returns. Also, check for us on iTunes or Apple Podcast, whatever. If you'd like what you hear, please write it.

us and review us and you I promise we'll win some cool shit eventually Jeff Weren't There it is God damn it I'm glad you I'm glad you thought of that It's been bothering me for like a day It was going to bother me

Next week we check out the forever Purge oh is that out already awesome July 2nd Oh cool You know if it's 4th of July It's time for the purge and some goddamn America which spoilers

I heard recently that this probably isn't the last purge movie they're still making money so why would it be yeah I don't see why you end something that people just want to go see people get killed in horrible ways it's good

good old fashioned 4th of July fun And a pretty easy setup. You can pretty much do whatever you want. And you've already got a storyline. Yeah. So let out. Crime is legal.

Film. Action. So, until the horror returns again, Brian. Good night.