The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #27: House (1986) & Abattoir (2016) (Re-upload)

Episode Date: June 6, 2021

Come inside for this week's episode. Thanks for listening!

Hi, we're the Saskas sisters, and you're listening to the horror returns. Greetings, victims, for those of you who delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify, go, welcome. You have found the place where the horror returns. Listeners, beware. This podcast contains major plot spoilers and the foulest of language. Join us in celebrating the old and the new, the best, and the worst in horror. Fight and dread, fantasize about fear and glorified war, welcome home.

This is the podcast that proves the horror never ends. Each episode, we seek out and review a brand new, horror movie, then go back and find a classic work with similar themes looking at both similarities and differences. Our goal here is to explore how our perceptions of fear remain the same from generation to generation, but also to point out how the presentation can change based on the social and the political climate of the times. Based on listener feedback, we do include spoilers for the new film. However, we will wait until the very end of the show to spoil the new feature, and we will let you know before we do so.

If you don't wish to hear the spoilers, simply turn it off at that point, and we promise you won't miss a thing. We generally assume you guys have already seen the classic film, so there will often be spoilers when we're discussing anything that's been out for at least a year, which House definitely has been, right, guys? Yeah, a little bit. Maybe a little dated? Just a month.

We'll get to that. Fair enough. Fair enough. The other thing we may do from time to time, and if you've listened for any length of time, you know we will, is use a few four-letter words. Yeah, because it's usually in the first five minutes. Yeah.

That late, huh? Skip that. We've been using a lot of them here. Just FYI, a little behind the scenes, we've been a time of year we're all having trouble getting our schedules together and these audio issues we're trying to get them just perfect so we were using a few letter four letter words over the last hour or so but we think we've got everything just right so hopefully this will sound good for all you guys who listen to

us but as you know this is a horror podcast and since horror movies tend to be R-rated you can pretty much expect us to be too I'm Lance and with me as always are my co-hosts, Brian and Phillip. Other than the regular Christmas or pre-Christmas rush, how's it going, guys? It is going pretty good.

Going pretty Feliz Navidad over here. So, what's the weather like in Alaska, Brian? It actually warmed up today. It is, I believe it is one degrees outside. so pretty much always the answer to that is cold as shit

absolutely it was definitely cold as shit last night it got it got close to 10 below oh wow you can't even go outside in that good night yeah unfortunately I have to work outside in that so oh suck

yeah it is a bitch man no wonder the thing is one of your favorite horror movies you can relate man yeah sometimes my mustache and beard ends up looking like Kurt Russell

it's all frozen and stuff I'd like that happen just once I'll go visit I don't want to live there yeah good good place to visit well I'm curious

what's it like in the in the summer up there temperature is usually around like 75 Oh, see, that's perfect. Meanwhile, we're sweltering down here with like 100% humidity and like 98 degrees and like sweating our asses off. Well, we're flipping out now because it's like 30, 40 degrees. It was like 71 on Monday.

Yeah, that's true. It sure was. And it probably will be again by the end of the week. Right. Yeah, I think I've already seen where it's supposed to be. be. I'm great. Texas.

What are you going to do? Right. Well, I guess one thing we can do is check out something that's cool this week, right? Alaska is pretty cool. Oh, then Brian, you get to start. As we were reviewing House, I had to check out the sequels.

There's sequels to House? There are three of them. Well, why not? And I will say I had a better viewing experience and the Exorcist sequels. Wow. Okay, cool. Yeah.

I've actually seen House 2 a bunch of times as a kid. It's actually a pretty fun movie. It's a pretty good sequel to the first one. Are they kind of comedy-based? Yeah. Okay.

And the second one also has a Cheers alum show up. John Ratzenberger. Oh, I was going to ask you if there were any more tears characters just as a joke. Yeah, he shows up in a movie. He plays an electrician, but he gets involved in some of the action. There you go, Philip, you can relate. There you go.

And let's see. And then I checked out the third sequel, which is not an official sequel. and I was watching the movie and there was just something familiar about this movie. Have you guys ever seen West Craven's shocker? Yes. I don't think I've seen it.

This movie is almost, could be a direct sequel to the movie. And then I looked it up. Both movies came out months apart in the same year. Really? But are almost, almost identical.

That's pretty weird. Yeah. So how are you going to incorporate House with a guy who gets put in the electric chair and comes back? Yeah, which is weird because I guess originally it wasn't called, because it's supposed to be called House 3, the horror show. But originally it was just called The Horror Show. And it's not even has nothing to do with the previous two. What?

Yeah, it's weird. it has no relation whatsoever and then I checked out the I checked out House 4 which is I guess technically the third sequel which is the worst fucking movie one of the worst movies I've seen

oh no it has a it has a yeah I don't know why I don't either well that sequel sucked better watch the next one makes sense well the third one because it reminded me a west craven shocker it wasn't completely bad but when you get to the fourth one i have no idea what is going on it has nothing to do with anything the first two movies the first two movies are good back to back but the last two they just completely go off the rails and that you're not so cool

the week. Which yeah which the fourth one has the main guy from the first one. Yeah William Cat. Yeah but in the fourth one he is married to a different woman and has a daughter okay. The same character

but make no reference to the first one. Oh my God. Are you saying he's not in two or three? No. That's super weird. That's bizarre, man. Yeah, but I guess that would be my... Alternate dimension.

Yeah, I double-checked characters. It's got the same name. Right. Roger, what was it, Roger Cobb? Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, but... Yeah, but that would be my cool, and I guess not so cool a little week. All rolled into one, huh?

Yeah. Shit. Philip, do you do any better? Man, I don't know if I have a cool of the week. I started watching Gremlins last night. That was kind of awesome. We have a little family movie night, and then I started looking up like top ten Christmas movies.

And Gremlins was on almost all the list. I'm like, I guess it does happen during Christmas, and I haven't seen it in forever. So I started watching it, and I mean, the kids are in the room, and they're, you know, six and three. So I didn't know if it was going to be a little too intense for them. but about the time they started turning into Grimlins, Logan was like, I don't want to watch this anymore.

I was like, all right. So we put on the nightmare before Christmas, which is cool too. So I had a half of Grimlins. That's my cool of the week. Yeah, that's pretty cool, man. I mean, Grimlins and Christmas go together big time, kind of like die hard. And I don't know. Can you guys think of some other good, you know, Christmas movie?

that maybe aren't Christmas movies, or the question is, are they or aren't they? Oh. I don't know. That was two of them that were always on the list were Die Hard and Gremlins. Right? Yeah, I guess those were my go-to, too,

for not your traditional Christmas movies. Yeah. I asked you because Jack Falby brought that up with me. He was, we were messaging, and he was asking if we were going to do a Christmas show, and I said, we really hadn't planned on one specifically, but, you know, we'll probably do some Christmas-related stuff. And he said, you know, why don't we do something?

And he said he would want to possibly come on and talk about, like, is it or isn't it a Christmas movie? So, you know, between all this other shit we got going on, maybe we can, you know, squeeze an extra show in or something like that. I don't know what we have planned to that way. Yeah, it's a possibility. They're kind of fluid. Yeah, kind of have to have. to be this time of the year. Yeah.

Speaking of Jack, he actually turned me on to a show that I started watching that is my cool of the week. And I'm curious if either of you guys have seen this, because I usually am not a big animated show guy. You know, I watched The Simpsons the first couple of years it was on. I know where you're going with this. You know what I'm getting at? Yep.

What do you think, man? I believe, is it Rick and Morty? It is Rick and Morty. Oh, I got you. It is Rick and Morty. Yeah, this is, it's different from anything I've seen before. The basic plot is you've got a, this kid's grandfather is a scientist, and he's also like a raging alcoholic. And everywhere he goes, he carries a little bottle around with him.

And he drags the grandson around on all these weird interdimensional adventure. They had one called Anatomy Park where they actually, he and some other scientists built a theme park inside of a person's body who offered to allow them to do that. And then he had a machine to shrink people down so they could go in. And, you know, they had rides in their like liver falls, you know, and, you know, the heart carousel and stuff like that. So obviously it was kind of like playing off Jurassic Park a little bit because the, not. Not to spoil too much, people who haven't seen it, but they have, the guy is apparently not the healthiest person. He's got all these diseases running through him that escape and start chasing people down, like hepatitis C and things like that. Ages after me.

Well, that's not to spoil it, but there's another cool episode, lawnmower dog. Do you guys remember that old, really shitty Stephen King adaptation, that movie called Lawnmore Man? I love that movie. Oh, okay. It had nothing to do with the book. That's what I think I disliked about it. Well, it's also been 20 years since I've seen it. Well, this one is kind of the same concept, but with their family dog. And the dad gets tired of the family dog pissing on the carpet and stuff like that. So the scientist, the grandfather kind of hands him a device that says, here, just use this.

And the dog starts being able to listen to and understand speech. And he goes on his adventure. Rick and Morty go on their little adventure and kind of leave the dad and family at home with a dog. And the next thing, you know, the dog's starting to build these machines to make other dogs smart. And they're kind of starting to take over a little bit. it's a pretty good show I'm thinking of like five episodes and I'm trying not to watch them too quickly

you know they're only like 22 minutes each because it's a half hour show on adult swim so I'm trying to kind of take my time but it's definitely my cool of the week it's a fun show have you guys seen it? No I've been an episode

yeah I've been meaning to get into it I've been I heard a lot of people recommend it yeah it looks pretty fun I was surprised. I usually don't like animated shows, but this one was really good. I was narrating my dog's voice earlier today. Hey, George, what you doing? God damn it, Mac. My name's not George. Hey, man, he's a dog. What do you expect, right?

He's a big dummy. Well, as with every show, it's time to take a little trip to the trailer park. Our first one we were going to talk about is the new Netflix movie, Spectral, starring Emily Mortimer, Clayne Crawford, Max Martini, Bruce Greenwood, and others, directed by Nick Matthew, I believe, is how you pronounce his last name? This actually was released yesterday on Netflix. Really? Yeah.

And you said Clayne Crawford is in it? Claim Crawford, who is on one of the worst movie to TV show, Lethal Weapon. Yes, he's the Mel Gibson character, and he's the one that I was telling you is on that show, Rectify? Yes. So we're not liking the Leitha Weapon thing. You know what? I've seen probably the first two episodes. If it was something other than Lethal Weapon, it would.

just be a generic okay buddy cop show okay but since it's trying to be lethal weapon and I you know we're getting off subject but I don't I don't buy this guy as crazy Mel Gibson okay and I definitely don't buy

Damon Wayans as Danny Glover What do you think about the preview? Huh? What'd you think about the preview of the spectral? It looks pretty cool you know it kind of reminds me of what was that Tom Cruise movie

that came out a year or two ago You're talking about Live, Die, Repeat? Yeah, instead of aliens it looks like it has like ghosts and paranormal stuff. Well, I'll tell you what, I'm adding it, you guys talk because I'm adding it to my Netflix queue right now,

but I have not seen any of the trailers this week, so this is going to be kind of like one of our movie reviews tonight, this is going to be all you guys. Yeah, basically, just to sum it up, it looks like soldiers going against some kind of paranormal entity ghost-type deal going on. Yeah, they take it very seriously, it looks like. Yeah, and it looks well shot, too. I think so.

Like, if it was a series, I don't know if I could hang with it. But to be a Netflix movie, I'm... And one of the... What was the... Yeah, one of the... One of the actors, I believe, is Max Martini. I've seen him in a few things. He was in Pacific Rim.

Okay. He was, you guys see Pacific Rim? Oh, yeah. Yeah, he was the one in the Yeager. It was the father-son team. He played the father. Oh, okay, no shit. Okay.

Yeah, yeah. But it looks like it has some good action in it. And like I said, it looks well-made. It doesn't look like it was made. deeply. Yeah, definitely. And I was a little worried that it was a series when it started out because I was like, God damn it, now I'm going to have to invest a whole, you know, week or two into this thing to watch the whole series.

But no, it's just a movie. And I think that being just a couple of hours, man, I'm totally invested in this and I'll absolutely watch it. Yeah. You think we'll see you by next show? I just put it in my queue right now. I'm playing out watching it. I've got a pretty dense Netflix queue right now, though. To get a little off subject, if you guys don't mind.

Do you guys remember the trailer that we watched a couple of months ago? What if I do mine, Lance? Well, fuck it. Just move on then. I'm kidding. You guys remember the Good Neighbor trailer, right, with James Con? Yes. That's on Netflix.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. there's a there's a lot of good shit on Netflix right now that new that new kickboxer remake is on there I saw that too I've been meaning to check that out too like Van Dam yeah where Van Dam's the teacher

oh it's got a yeah it's got Batista as the as playing the villain what okay I have to watch that just on the principal of the thing yeah definitely okay let's see

it was a lot a lot of big trailers dropped this week our next one we're going to talk about is a Transformers the last night star

what I wanted to talk about starring Anthony Hopkins starring Anthony Hopkins Mark Wahlberg Laura Haddock Hell at the moon over Anyways

where was I it's got a bunch of people in it yeah Anthony Hopkins does the narrating in the preview right? Yeah I didn't I didn't even know he was in this movie I didn't either but it sounded

like his voice yeah I see it he pops up in the trailer so yeah yeah but then again you know after the last few Transformers movie I probably really wasn't paying attention to any news about this movie I will kind of say I

I do like the tone change it looks a little bit more darker, a little bit more serious. It looks like it's going to be good. I mean, it's Michael Bay, it's Transformers. It's got Mark Wahlberg. There's explosions. I mean, I'm sure it's going to be awesome.

It's just not, it's not on my radar as, oh, my God, did you see this preview, you know? Yeah, and watching, there's a thousand Transformers movies at this point. Yeah, and watching the preview, they brought back Josh Dumal from the first one. He was one of the main soldiers. We've been in a couple of us, too. Yeah, he wasn't It basically It kind of seems like he wasn't in the shitty ones

Yeah Oh yeah, that's a good point And I like the end of the trailer It looks like we're getting a evil optimist Prime Yeah, that's what it looks like So, yeah, I mean, I'm not I'll probably end up seeing it in the theater

But, you know, it's not, I'm not going to Go opening night Right just because I... That's kind of the attitude what I had towards it. It's not... I'll watch it.

I'm definitely going to watch it, but it's not... I'm not super stoked about it, you know? Yeah, I just hope it's not... Because the last one felt like it was like three, four hours long. I just felt like I was sitting there in a theater forever.

And I love Mark Wahlberg. Yeah. You guys still talking about Transformers? Yeah. Yeah. Quick question. Yeah. Quick question, Philip.

Our dog that represents the podcast is back. Okay. Quick question, Philip. Yeah. Do you buy Mark Wahlberg as a scientist in these movies? No, I don't. I really like Mark Wahlberg, but I didn't like him in that last Transformers movie, like, at all. So hopefully he does better in this one.

Yeah, we got to, let's see. got a June 23rd release date on this one. Yeah, I like Mark Wahlberg better as a military guy or a cop or a sniper or whatever kind of action that he's doing. Yeah. Definitely does not. Yeah, I totally agree. How do you like him as a lead singer of a 90s pop band or dance music band?

Awesome. He's believable. I like that movie. Yeah. All right. Just checking. Moving on to our next big trailer that came out is War for the Planet of the Apes, starring Andy Circus, Woody Harrelson, which I did not know he was in this movie. I didn't either. Judy Greer, Steve Zon, Amaya Miller, and others directed by Matt Reeves.

Man, that's a good cast. Yeah, this movie looks like it's going to be amazing. I know, right? I really dug the last one. Me too. I've really enjoyed this latest reboot of the Planet of the Ape stuff with James Freiko starting it off. Right. Yeah.

And man, it's been just nothing but awesome so far. And I'm really excited to see this one. I love Woody Harrelson, especially in his latest stuff that he's done, he can totally pull this roll off. and this is going to be probably one of the best ones, I think. Yeah, do you think this is the last one? Because he had a line in the trailer where he said this is the final confrontation or something like that. This is Mankind's last stand. Yeah, so do you think they'll have another movie after this one?

I don't know. I think they're leading us up to believing that this is the last part of it. and it may very well end in a planet of the apes type situation because so far everything has just led up to the planet of the apes and they haven't actually had a planet of the apes yet yeah and we got a July 14th release date on this one it's going to be a pretty big year 2017 it was cool I was stoked about that one

yeah I'm looking forward to this one and it's the it's the same director who did the last one as well. Yeah, he also did Let Me In in Cloverfield. Yeah, great, great director, man. Cool. And our last trailer was a trailer that pretty much almost broke the internet when it was released. Spider-Man Homecoming, starring Tom Holland, Robert Downey Jr., Marissa Tomei, Donald Glover, Zendaya, Michael Keaton. Logan Marshall Green, John Favro, and a whole bunch of other fucking people.

Because I could not. Disney's got that kind of money. Yes. Who is directed? Who is Donald Glover playing? I didn't even know he was in this one. Nobody, I guess they haven't released it yet. The latest thing I read is he might be playing a villain, possibly, or someone that is

going to later on become a villain. Okay. But, uh, but uh, yeah. And, uh, this movie.

Back into superhero movies. Yeah, he looked badass in this movie. He did. Yeah. He's gonna be good. And I like the, uh,

I like John Favreau, you know, popping up. Yeah. That was a good call back to the Iron Man movies. Right. And Tom Holland,

Tom Holland, Tom Holland, I think is, is the best Spider-Man we've ever had. Think so? Yes. Well, it's hard to tell because he hasn't actually had a standalone movie yet, but I think that he definitely pulls it off. And I like this young high school Spider-Man that they've got going.

Yes. And I like the Spider-Man. It's cool. And I like the Spider-Man in the world of the Avengers. You know what I mean? Yes. Where now he's in the Marvel universe. and they have that kind of backing.

And the Marvel Universe movies from Disney have not done me wrong so far. So I'll definitely take a look at this one. And I have no doubt that it's going to be awesome. Yeah, they've all just been home runs with me. And this trailer was just, it was awesome, you know. And did you guys get a, did you get a chance to watch the international trailer? Okay, so I think that I watched Okay, the one that I watched first and the one that I liked better

Had that MGMT song in the background Okay, I think that was the Yeah, that was the regular one Okay, see, I think I like that one better And then the other one that I saw I had a lot of the same scenes with maybe a few extra ones in it But it was, you know, real dramatic music the whole time Yeah, they said we're supposed to get a glimpse of a secondary

villain in there somewhere, but if he was in there, it was a quick glimpse. I didn't get to see him. It looked like basically the original trailer just, you know, maybe with a scene or two changed. Yeah. So we've definitely got

the vulture. And I think, from what I gather, that's the Michael Keaton character. I don't know who else would be in it. And from what I'm reading, Spider-Man got a lot of villains.

Yeah, from what I'm reading, it seems like they kind of backed off of this, what is the girl's name, Zendaya. She was rumored to be Mary Jane, and there was a lot of people that got mad because Mary Jane's white, and I guess they needed to cast a white actress. Yeah. You're telling me she's not going to be in it? Oh, Mary Jane or the actress? Zendaya.

Yeah, she's in the movie? She's in it, but IMDB has her listed as a different character. Ah, okay. Is she still going to be a love interest, or do you know? Um, she pops up in the trailer for a second. Right. Which I, they kind of, because she's a beautiful girl. And they kind of, I want to say, dulled her down, her looks, because I almost didn't.

She has one quick scene in the trailer, and I almost didn't, I almost didn't recognize her. Right. I didn't recognize. Of course, I haven't seen that chick since, because they, she was in like a Disney thing, right? Yeah. With a redhead chick that could probably play Mary James. They could play Mary Jane. Just saying. Yeah, what was that show called, like kick it out or kick it up or something like that?

Oh, man. I think that, like, I can kind of applaud them. Shake it up. Shake it up. for for changing the, uh, ethnicity of the, of the, of the, of the main character,

whatever. But, you know, at some point, you know, political correctness has got a, there's, there's a limit,

man. I mean, you got, you got to, you try to stay true to the character. And yeah, they should, they,

they change that, they change the ethnicity of, uh, Flash Thompson, his character. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Um, I don't know the actor. A lot of characters. I mean, look at Samuel, yeah. is Nick Fury, you know? Yeah, well, you know,

they wanted to get away from that. You ever see the Nick Fury movie from the 90s with David Hasselhoff? Oh, no. I didn't even know there was fun. That's funny. Yeah, it's bad. Matter of fact.

I'm kind of glad I don't know that. Matter of fact, if anybody wants to brave that, you can find it on YouTube for free. I say we review it for the next show. And the director, John Watts. Lance, I believe you've seen one of his movies, Copcar.

Oh, yeah, that's right. And, oh, we saw another one of his movies for our show, remember? Yeah, this is a same-guided clown. Cop-car was awesome, though. Oh, clown. Yeah. Okay, well, clown was disappointing, but was clown as disappointing as that crap we watched last week?

What crap? What are you talking about? I don't remember watching a movie last week. Exactly. Oh, no, we saw The Exorcist. That's right. Well, that was a good one. That movie was amazing. Oh, man. Let's get the show on the road. I want to hear you guys talk about abattoir since I didn't get into it.

See it since I was fucking running all over the place playing Santa Claus or the elf. Okay, everybody real quick. Spider-Man Homecoming comes out July 7th. And that is our last trailer. All right. So that's it for the trailers then this week, huh? Yes. Brought to you by Brian.

Take it away, Brian. Okay. We're going to report. Remember, I believe last show we talked about Alien Covenant getting a May 19th release date. And it was the same date as Annabel 2. Oh. And we had talked about it probably would have been a good idea that Annabelle would move release dates

well it yeah it ended up happening Annabelle 2 now is moving from May 19th to August 18th that's probably smart and also smart for the Baywatch movie which was coming out the same day is changed release dates

for a week later so really I guess yeah I guess nobody's trying to compete with Alien Covenant huh I guess not I'm not sure what to think about this Baywatch thing man It's not the Rock. It looks pretty damn funny to me. You guys see the trailer?

Yes. No, I haven't seen it. But are there any chicks in this movie? Because that's... Oh, it's... What leads you to Baywatch, right? Oh, they got a smoking hot one. What is her?

Alexander Dodario. Oh, she's in this. Yes. The one who played the Rock's daughter in San Andreas, right? Is she his daughter in this one as well, do you think? She played in a... True crime. Is that what it is called on ESPEL?

Yes, yeah. And there is... You do that shit. Yeah, I got you. I'm way ahead of you, buddy. Hell of yeah. And there is a reference to her boobs in the trailer. No.

Better be because she's got some monsters. But, yeah, I would say, I would say Baywatch kind of reminds me of the direction they went with the 21 Jump Street. Right. But I would say Baywatch has a little bit more action than comedy. Well, and a little more star power. Well, I don't know. But it is R-rated, so they're not, uh, so. Well, the rock can do no wrong.

And I really like Zach Efron. So, I like it. Yeah, because he pretty much, in the trailer, he comes off a little bit, kind of like his character from neighbors. That's cool, because I like his character. character from neighbors. Cool. So, yeah, Alien Covenant is, uh, got that spot locked down.

Nice. All right. I, you know what? I really didn't think that that one was that well anticipated, though, to get two different movies to change their release date. I mean, is it really going to be that big of a deal? Um, I didn't think Baywatch would have moved. I thought it was very smart for Annabelle, too, because as a horror fan.

Right. You go to the movie theaters. You got the new alien movie, and then you got Annabelle 2. For me personally, I'm going to go watch that new alien movie. I'm going to go watch the aliens. They don't need the same kind of publicity that Annabelle 2. And probably they watch also. They don't need the same kind of publicity that either one of those has.

So, yeah. Yeah, I think it was smart of movies. Mutual beneficial decision, huh? Yeah. Can we go back to Baywatch just for a second? Okay. Because I was looking through the four main stars, and you guys were talking about Dodario, and nobody can deny her charms.

But what do you guys think of this other lady that's in the movie? I'm going to pronounce this correctly. Priyanka Chopra. Have I seen the show, but she's the main star in a show. She's an Instagram chick, isn't she? Hey, she's in a show called Quantif. have you guys heard of this? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, sorry. Correct me on that, man. My oldest daughter's been trying to get me to watch this show, but I keep asking her, how was this beautiful woman doing all this FBI stuff? And I don't know. It's one of those. She's a pretty girl, and she never gets messed up at all.

Her hair or nothing. That's a TV show, man. Come on. I'm sorry, I can't buy it. If you're doing a lot of action shit and you're rolling around and getting shot at and you still look like you just came straight from the makeup chair. I can't buy it. Right. I am I am IDB.

I am IDMBing her right now and she's definitely hot. So I'm down. Or an explosion can go off and she still looks that way. Yeah. Pretty far-fetched, huh? Well, it works for Baywatch. Yeah, I'll tell you this. The slow motion running across the beach scenes are going to be really nice with this.

Oh, they... Matter of fact, they have a reference to that in the trailer, too. I mean, I never really watched the show. I've seen a couple episodes, but there are some funny references to the original one. I still love to watch. Oh, Pamela Anderson's in it. Yes, she has a cameo. And Charlotte McKinney.

Okay, deal. There you go, man. I think the Hoff is in it too, right? Yeah, the Hoff is there. Yeah, I'm sure he was free. Okay, moving on to, let's see, director Brad Payton coming off one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Gave a little bit of news about his movie adaption of the video game Rampage.

It says it's going to be more emotional, scarier, and realer than people expect it to be. You mean he's still attached to it? You mean, they didn't knock him off that project after inconsolable or whatever that movie was called? I don't know. I think they're still going off of what him and the Rock did with, what is it, San Andreas? Yeah, which a lot of people love. yeah so i think that's why he's i mean after what was it unconscious or whatever it was hey wait a minute let me ask you guys a question now now hold on

hear me out if the rock had played erin ecchart's part in that movie what would it have been a completely different film or would it have been just as bad yeah because the rock would have been kicking some demon ass that's true was that the same guy the director yeah yeah that made yeah he's doing the rampage video game movie

oh no yeah I don't know I felt like the rock could be only one listed on cast right now yeah I felt like the direct I felt like he could do a one-man show

I felt like he came out with this quote because coming off of what incarnate is getting horrible reviews really so I think he came out with this comment just to reinsure everybody

right he had to say something huh yeah but I mean you don't really have to say I mean if anybody's played the video game they know it's you know basically giant Godzilla like monsters and then you got the rock in the movie that's I'm sold

yeah what more do you need except Peyton oh man I'm nervous man I wish they I wish they would fire him and put a different director on it, a la, kind of like what happened with Ant Man, where it changed directors like that.

I sure wish somebody would wise up and do that, but, well, they have a release date of April 20 of 2018, so there's still time if we keep our fingers crossed. It just seems like a weird movie to make. We'll see how it turns out. Mm-hmm.

Okay, our next bit of news, we got three movies that are getting remakes, and one of these lands it might kind of surprise you really so I'll save that one for last okay um New Zealand uh the New Zealand movie Housebound

oh yeah it's getting an American remake from New Line that doesn't does not surprise me in the least yeah but I kind of like the the way the original movie is done I'm not I'm not with you I'm with you out of these three I've only seen two

and that one was the one that I felt like did not need a remake. I really like the original. Yeah. Oh yeah. There's no way they can improve it. If anything, they'll water it down. Although I will tell you this,

to go back to the director we were talking about earlier, I will say that that let me in the American version was really, really good. Yes. So, you know, I guess it all just depends on, you know, what they do with it.

You know, I mean, I'll definitely watch it. I'm with you guys. I don't know if it's necessary. Yeah. Little Shop of Horrors is getting a remake. Again? All right. Yeah, but this time it's going to be, hey, okay, let's see.

Where's my notes? Greg Berlanti, who is executive producer of DC shows The Flash Arrow and Supergirl will direct the remake. he's actually going to direct it? Yes. And this is,

this remix coming. Oh, wow. This one's coming from Warner Brothers. It's going to have a C.W. Flair to it then, huh? Youngsters in love and all that? It most likely. Interesting.

I can see I'm going for a younger audience here. Right. And the one that I thought would probably surprise you is Train to Busan. Oh, wow. getting an English remake, an American remake. Man, that didn't take long. I still haven't had a chance to watch the film yet.

Have you guys? I was, were we going to review it still? I thought we were going to try to. Wait a minute. I think we were talking about different stuff around Christmas time. I think we were wanting to try to review this one around Christmas time. Yeah, and I was going to wait closer to when we were going to review it. But, yeah, this movie is fairly new.

That was Kevin's idea. He had a real big, he's a huge supporter of this. And, yeah, I do remember now, Kevin and I were talking about maybe doing a show with this one and Terror Train, the old one with the cheesy one, Jamie Lee Curtis. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And we were going to try to do it around Christmas. So I guess between that and Jack's idea about the other, we got plenty of ideas, that's for sure. Yeah, and there's a big movie in the theater's coming out closer to Christmas, too.

So, what was it? Assassin's Creed. That's what I thought were going to say. So, yeah, train to Busan and it kind of really surprised me because I'm hearing this is like the horror movie of the year. Really? And it's already getting, it's a Korean zombie apocalypse movie. Oh, it's that one, okay. With fast zombies.

Yeah, from what I, somebody told me, basically if you took Snowpiercer and 28 days later and mashed it up into a movie. Okay. Man, that's... I watched that.

That's a great way to describe what I was visualizing. Yeah, and it's getting a remake from a French studio, Gaumont. I'm not even sure if I'm pronouncing,

but I guess they, have an LA branch that is going to be handling all the production. Really? Yeah, but, you know, the last big hit from Asia that I heard was getting an American remake was the Raid movies. Yeah, but didn't they do that and call it, they called it, they called it something different. the movie that Carl Urban was in. Oh, Dred? Yeah.

Wasn't that basically the same storyline? Yeah, kind of. The movies actually were being filmed at the same exact time, which was crazy. Really? Yeah. Which Dread is... I like Dread. I thought that's cool.

Dread and the Raid, Raid Redemption. Those are amazing movies right there. Mm-hmm. Which is a shame. Again, we're getting off. that Dread never got a sequel because nobody watched it. It was awesome, though.

It was better than the original Judge Drey. Yeah, I think that's why that's why no one watched it because of the whole Stallone Judge Dred movie. Yeah. But, yeah, those

are remakes coming soon. A couple of them, I don't understand why, but we're getting them. Yeah, kind of kind of a head scratcher on a few of those, huh? Yeah. Okay.

We previously reported that they was doing a Tomb Raider prequel movie, and they are in talks with Walton Goggins for the villain. Is he going to play a straight-up guy, or is he going to be a cross-dresser? I don't know. I mean... You guys remember his character and sons of anarchy? Yes. Oh, that guy.

I don't know He's a pretty good actor You know He always surprises me You guys Who's playing Laura Cross? I forgot We had talked about it

I think last week It's a Zendaya probably right Oh I'm sure the internet Would explode again Alexandra Dadaio

I'm just throwing it out there I mean I know she's not I'm just saying You just sold a whole bunch of movie tickets Hell yeah. But yeah, he's in talks to play the villain, and I've seen him in a couple movies where he, I can see him doing a good job as a villain. Oh, yeah.

I mean, it's not blowing me away that he's going to be the villain. But he plays a good villain. He's definitely not going to hurt the movie. Yeah. Okay. And our last news item here, we're getting a third film. in the Cloverfield universe, and it's going to be called God Particle. Right. That's all news, though, isn't it?

Yeah. It's got a release date. October 27th of next year. Okay. So we're getting closer. And we already have a cast. Oh, really? Daniel Buell, Chris O'Dowdowd, Elizabeth DeBecky, Zee-Zang, I believe that's how it. She's the young girl that was in the, what was it?

What was the, oh, shit, I can't even remember the movie. I'll come back to that. But, yeah, this movie's moving along pretty fast here. Okay. And another thing I had found out is the name's probably going to change. It's probably not going to end up being called God Particle. It's probably going to have something with the Cloverfield theme to it. Right.

Yeah, because that would be, A, a little too much of a departure from the, uh, uh, for the sequels. And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, it's going to raise some sort of stupid PC stink. Yeah. But, um, yeah, so, that's, uh, pretty much all the news we have for this week. All right. Cool. So, uh, Philip. You know what that means?

What's that mean? Listener feedback. Oh, listener feedback. I got you. We're on it. By the way, you guys were wondering who was going to play Laura Croft? Who's that? Does the name Alicia Vikander ring a bell?

It does now because I just found my notes. Ex Machina. Oh, okay. Yes, she was the. All right. Yeah, she was the main robot in Ex Machina. Okay, I can get down with that. Ava.

I think Ava was her name. Like in Wally. Okay. So, listener feedback for this week. We got some feedback from one of our good friends, Patrick Lear. Patrick writes, hi guys, just finished the show on the arrival and close encounters a third kind. He put it in some weird abbreviation. I can't remember what the hell it was. EE3K. You had thrown around the idea of splitting the show with sci-fi as well, and here's thoughts on it.

He says, I like the idea at the whole. However, I would give the approach some thought. For instance, keep the schedule flexible to coincide with movie releases, i.e. maybe in October it's more horror-based, since more horror movies released then. Also, if you know a specific horror or sci-fi movie you want to review is coming out, don't feel that you have to adhere to every other week's schedule. The other thing is I'm not sure

if I'd change the name of the show except maybe this. Come up with an overall name for the show and have horror returns and your respective sci-fi names as sub-show titles depending on the content. That way, people would only have to search

for one show title. Lance, you can call me if you have questions. He says he's a fan of both genres and fantasy as well, so I like the idea since there's not always a horror movie to discuss. Which I totally agree with him there. I'm going to say that

we should keep the name of the show the way it is and then just do our sci-fi stuff when sci-fi stuff comes out. Because typically horror movie fans like sci-fi stuff too, so I think that we're still hitting our range, you know?

Our target audience, huh? Right. Yeah, a lot of people that have talked to me about it, they don't think we should change anything. Just, they told me just, you guys do whatever movie you, yeah, do whatever movie you guys want to do.

Fuck you guys, we're doing what we want to do. I'm kidding, I love you. Or as Kevin said, he said, people who want you to have to change the name or something. He says, I've got one thing to say, and it was a wrestling term. Do you remember that? Two words?

Oh, yeah. What are those two words, Brian? You remember? Suck it. He says he's a... Okay, let's see. I would also like to hear

more retrospective shows, like your 1960 show, which was a lot of fun. We did that with Marcy. You remember that one? Mm-hmm. Yeah, I've had a few people say they want some more retrospectives. They also want us to do, they also want us to do some top ten shows.

Oh, that'd be fun. Interesting. Interesting. Okay. I believe Josh Young, I'm sorry, cut you off. I believe Josh Youngblood said we should do our top ten, I think he said villains. Oh, wow. Oh, that'd be fun.

Top ten villain all time? Yeah, I think he said. I think it was villains or horror? No, I think the top 10 list would be cool. I mean, it kind of takes away from the structure that we have on the show, which I actually kind of like. But, you know, maybe I like your idea of the once-a-year top-10 list. Or maybe we could do two top-10 lists,

ones with the movies and then one with the villains. That would be fun. Yeah. Hey, it's a good, it's a good problem to have, guys. Lots of feedback and lots of ideas. So, you know, every week's adventure. Yeah, definitely. And the rest of his feedback was just one more thought or one more thing.

Oh, son of a bitch, hang on. With this audio shenanigans, you're feeding right into his next point. I'm telling you, man. I had a whole intro going for it and everything. Okay, so the rest of the feedback. He says, oh, yes, one more thing. On your audio, Brian's feed is much louder than Lance and Phillips any way to fix that. We're working on it right now.

Yeah, yeah. Hopefully, every... We're working on it, man. Hey, look. We got a lot of podcast buddies out there. Lance, I know a lot of them personal. Man, if there's a, like, some sort of audio software that we need to pay for that is going to fix all this fias that we deal with every single week

behind the scenes, then please let us know I will gladly pay for it. Aside from that, man, thanks to everyone who reaches out to us. We love the feedback, good and bad, behind the scenes, and in front of them. As always, you can reach us at our Facebook or Pied Bean page, or you can email us at The Horror Returns, at gmail.com. We have an email address, so we are for real.

We don't hear from you. Let us know what's up, and we'll mention you on the show. Maybe you'll get a t-shirt. What the hell is that? Is that clicking noise? It sounds like somebody is using a ratchet over there. Is it? I'm sorry, dude. Am I the only one you doing that? It may be my headphones moving around.

Oh, man. You got Ratchet and Clank over there. I heard they remade that video game. I think it was a movie. Did they make a movie out of it as well? Yeah, I don't think anybody watched it, though. Okay. Is he still doing it right now?

I don't hear anything. I guess we're good, man. Okay. So does I guess I think that means it's time to move on and discuss this week's featured attractions. What do you guys think? Let's do it. All right. Let's make it happen.

This week we move in with a brand new feature, Abitoir, as well as 1986's house. So we'll start with the first film. 1986 brought us the, I don't know, would you guys call this a comedy horror or straight-up horror that just didn't mean to be a comedy or a straight-up comedy? I mean, how would you guys describe this? Yeah, they have the guy from Nightcourt in here. Right. Yeah. It looked like freaking Eddie from Iron Maiden.

Well, you guys should definitely recognize the director's name, Steve Miner. Is that ring a bell? Sounds familiar. He also directed a little movie called Warlock. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. As well as Halloween H2. and numerous television episodes.

The writers were Fred Decker, also known for Night of the Creeps, as well as the Monster Squad, and also Ethan Wiley, who also wrote House 2. According to Fred Decker, the script was originally inspired by Twilight Zone the movie.

After seeing that film, Decker and his friends, which included Ethan Wiley, Steve Minor, and your friend Brian Shane Black, and when I read this, you'll wonder how this would have been. But they all plan to make their own independent anthology movie on video. The project was never completed.

Decker used the idea for his unproduced segment for this film. So could you guys imagine an anthology with these guys and also a segment directed by Shane Black? I can see it. I can see it. Hitting up the anthology before it got big, huh? Right. This is going back to something you guys were talking about earlier. Brian, I think you mentioned it.

The Cheers, the fact that the Cheers movies are connected to these. Yeah. So the next door neighbor Harold is played by George Went. Best known for his role as Norm. And as Brian said earlier, House 2 the Second Story features an appearance by John Ratzenberger.

He's the mailman in Cheers, right? Yeah, the Mailman in Cheers and apparently an electrician in House 2. Oh, he was awesome in House 2. Yeah? No real explanation on why he knows how to sort fight. House 2. You learn a lot of stuff being a mailman.

Other than his, when he leaves, he hands him a car that says, electrician and adventurer. Nice. That is what I... I'm putting that on. You're inside. I'm not joking.

Like, I've got some cards in the mail. I'm going to reorder them. Yeah, House 2, you've got us interested in checking that one out, Brian. I mean, it has a good tagline to the most called House 2 the Second Story. Yes, I like that. I thought that was pretty clever. Kane Hodder, who was the... the stunt coordinator for the film

is known to horror fans as the one who played icon Jason Voorhees more than anyone else. Four films total. Director Steve Minor also directed Friday the 13th Part 2, by the way. The first to actually feature Jason, as well as Friday

the 13th, Part 3, the first to feature the famous hockey mask. So House, 1986, and I would say that it has 1986 written all over it. Oh, yeah.

This is dated. Completely. It's dated. It looks like the labyrinth meets poltergeist. That's a pretty damn good description. You might get that on the box of the of the reissue or something.

Although I know that I know that all four of them were just reissued recently on Blu-ray. So. Yeah, I'm definitely picking. I'm a movie collector myself. And I'm definitely picking that up. If you're definitely a movie collector.

Yeah, but I will probably never watch the fourth one ever. You probably never watch any of them. It'll sit on your shelf. I will definitely, I don't know, I have a lot of memories of the second one as a kid. Right. It's a fun movie. I mean, it's also dated and kind of cheesy, but, you know, in a good way. Well, see, I had a lot of.

of not childhood memories, but like, you know, later teenage and early 20s, kind of more the age that I was at right after this movie came out. But I've got a lot of memories of really enjoying this one. And it's kind of weird because when I was re-watching it, believe it or not, I actually was able to talk AJ into watching it with me, which she almost never does. and she wasn't too disappointed that she saw it with me. We got a lot of laughs out of it. And like I said, I wouldn't really consider this a straight-up horror movie. I mean, there's really no fear, not a whole lot of tension in it.

I think a lot of the stuff is, I don't know if it's purposely all played for laughs, but I know some of it has to be. Yeah, it's definitely a little campy. Yeah, a little campy, just a little. but but yeah no I mean it's a lot of fun I I remember in my in my memory I didn't recall the special effects being quite as as cheesy as they were but I but I do appreciate the fact that going back to something you mentioned earlier Brian on another film we watched a lot of this stuff I think when we were talking about scare campaign you really appreciated the fact that they didn't depend on CGI that yes and yeah this this one really didn't uh a lot of the the practical effects were really fun. Yeah, I really like them. I think if anything, when they brought in the

because most of this movie, they didn't have like music playing in the background. And then all of a sudden they have this cheesy, almost kind of like an Ash versus Evil Dead type feeling. Yeah, I know, right? They've got like this montage scene or whatever and they've got this cheesy 80s. You're no good.

You know, good. I have a tiger movie. Yeah. Yeah, that was a lot. a little off-putting when it got to that. Yeah, it was. I thought so, too. It totally didn't fit with the rest of it. It was funny, I guess, but... It was funny. Did you guys notice this?

I don't know if it was intentionally funny, though. Well, I think it was supposed to be just like... I think the sound editor honestly thought it went perfectly with it, but... Did you guys notice that the film ended on a freeze frame? Yes. And that's nice. That's always cheesy. man. Yeah.

But, you know, that happened a lot in the 80s, though. It did. It did, for sure. Right up through the Breakfast Club, right? Yeah. But, I mean, overall, it was a really fun movie. You know, I really enjoyed revisiting it.

I think I only pay like $2.99 to rent it on iTunes, so I thought it was, you know, really a bargain, considering that me and my wife, who hates horror movies, actually both had fun watching it. I do remember one thing that she said. She just started laughing when William Katz came out in that sweater. Oh, the be-neck sweater?

The V-neck sweater. And no shirt underneath. How could they find a more 80s sweater for him to come out wearing than that? Yeah. But yeah, I mean, overall, I really, you know, we had a lot of fun watching it. As a piece of art, a piece of filmmaking, make no mistake, you know. I mean, this isn't up there in rare air any way, former fashion. But, no, I had a whole lot of fun,

a whole lot of fun re-watching this movie. Philip, what did you think, man? Man, I kind of had the same sort of thing going. Like, I thought it was actually really fun to watch. You have to completely ignore some of the stuff. Like, his neighbor comes up in the middle of the night with, like, fucking pie or some bullshit and stops him from doing some

super intense thing. And it's like midnight. I'm like A, why the fuck is your neighbor just walking into your house and B, it's midnight. Yeah. What the hell is you doing? This movie definitely took the concept of the nosy neighbor to a whole different

level, didn't it? Yeah. So it takes that stupid people thing and throws it out there. I mean, some of the stuff doesn't doesn't really make a whole lot of sense. Yeah, like, how did he get his ex-wife's phone number to call her up? That too, yeah. And not to mention she's a famous celebrity. Yeah, you just get her direct line and just call her up.

Yeah, look it up in the phone book. The internet. But aside from that, though, it was definitely really fun and super campy. And I don't know The thing is, I don't know if it was intended to be that way Or if it just happened to be that way If it was just, if it was just so bad that it was funny Because it was, it was funny

I always felt like it was intended Because just from the look of some of the creatures Were kind of comical Oh yeah, like I said And like I said, Bull from a night court his whole performance was comical. And that is the only thing I know that guy from, but as soon as he popped up,

I haven't seen Nightcourt in 20-something years. Right. And as he popped up, I was like, that's bull from that court. Yeah, pretty hard to make him. Miss him, huh? Yeah. Just every time he was on screen,

it was just over the top, everything he was doing. Yeah. That's... I loved the character that he had. had at the end. I'm telling you, he looked like he was straight off the Trooper album. Oh, that's right. Yeah, they aren't made an album.

Right? I'm telling you. And the practical effects were great. It looked like the labyrinth meets the Pulture Guys. And I could not describe this movie any better than that. Well, I think this movie was all

about something that's really no laughing matter, which is PTSD. You know? Yeah. When you get right down to the bottom of it, you know? If you really think about it, then yeah, absolutely. Because it kind of leaves you guessing the whole time, whether this guy's got some PTSD from the Vietnam War

or if this stuff is really happening in the house. Yeah, because it's been a while since I've seen it, and there was some things I forgot. Like, I thought he actually killed his wife. Right. Yes, it sure looked that way. Yeah, and then it just had me wondering, is this all in his head? Mm-hmm.

Right. Yeah. That was one of the scenes that really did you think about it. Yeah, this movie could have taken a real sinister turn. Oh, yeah, very easily. But I think I like that they kept it kind of comical. Brian, what are your thoughts, man? Um, you know, it's been a while since I've seen it.

You know, like I said, there's a lot of, it is. completely 80s all the way from his amazing perm hair yeah and when he does come back in the fourth one he still has that hair nothing's changed

it was like Ian Deering from Beverly Hills not to what else but I enjoyed it I thought it was funny like I'm of course a sucker for practical effects right yeah me too Even the one when he was crawling down the rope through the mirror and a little Terradactal skeleton looking thing.

Oh, yeah. That thing looked like an avenged sevenfold skull coming in. Oh, yeah, for sure. I think this movie was very influential on a lot of the artwork of a lot of bands that are around now that you guys talk about it. Which that was a funny scene for me when it, when it snatched a shotgun from him and spun it around Arnold style from T2. I really remember that one from when I first saw the movie.

That scene stood out for me quite a bit. But overall, I really enjoyed it. I like the whole concept how each door was kind of a doorway somewhere else, which they continue that into the second one, which, you know, if you go on a fireplace, you're in like an Amazon forest-type place and you go out one door and you're in the old Wild West. You know, I dug that about this movie.

Well, as long as a guy in a wheelchair didn't come in and say, what's your favorite color? What's your favorite color? Now visualize a door in that color. You know, as long as that didn't happen, we're okay. But like I said, this is completely 80s. There's a lot of, like when the cops come by, apparently you just have to drop your name that you're a novelist.

Oh, no kidding, right. Yeah, they're just... They're just... Absolutely. Gave him his gun back. Didn't work for Judge Reinhold. We got searched by TSA through a fit. Well, there were probably a lot more readers back then than there are now, too, you know?

Yeah, that's true. And he also had, like, the weirdest, like, in the beginning when he was doing... his book signing. He had like the weirdest fans that I wasn't even sure were fans of his or not. As they seemed to be really irritated with him. That kind of fed into the comedy thing. I thought it was, yeah,

it was super creepy. They were like, oh, your wife is awesome. But we're here to get your signature. Yeah. Yeah, my ex-wife, thanks. No problem. I'll sign you book. What's your next book going to be? Oh, about my experiences

in Vietnam. Like, oh, great. that sounds like it's going to be a great book you know they he had like the weirdest yeah a bunch of assholes all right so you ready for ratings on this one yeah I think I think we're we're about ready for ratings

sounds like sounds like a plan if I had rated this movie back in in 87 or 88 whenever I first watched it I probably would have given it a much higher score but I think so

I, yeah, I do. Because my memories of this movie, like I was saying, that scene with the winged creature, that I really, really remember that one. And I remember a couple of other kind of funny scenes as sticking out. And they just didn't have quite the same punch this time. And I don't know if that's just because it's, you know, we've had a lot of great movies this year. I mean, it really has been a good year for horror movies.

You can't argue that. It's been a really good year. It wasn't last week. Well, but I mean, overall, it's been a good couple of years. You know, plus the special effects, yeah, obviously not quite what they would do right now. Although, heck, maybe that's a blessing, you know, because they'd probably rely too much on CGI now. But I give it over a halfway mark for sure. But the cheesy, I would give it a higher rating, but the cheesiness factor and that,

that freeze frame at the end and the, you know, the, the, the, the really bizarre mixing of the song, you're no good and all that kind of weird stuff. Eh, I'll give it a 5.5. So, so it's better, it's, it's more, it's more good than bad, but just barely. But is it worth watching on a night? You bet your ass it is. Yeah. Oh, we, can I bring something up real quick?

No. Okay. I'm getting, go for it. Oh, we didn't talk about his other neighbor, the blonde chick. Oh. Oh, yeah. Strange. Worst parent ever.

Worst parent ever. Right. No kidding. A, worst parent ever. And you're telling him. Best single mom ever. I mean, you're dropping your kid off to a stranger. Right.

And you're telling him to give him a bath and everything. Yeah. Wow. Hey, weird guy that I've met twice that I really want to have sex with. Here's my kid, I'm going out. Bye. Oh, boy. I'm sorry.

I just had to bring her up. I thought that was really strange. I'm glad to do. None of us. That whole situation is something that would not happen today. Right. I'm going to say, I kind of agree with Lance on this one. And I wasn't sure what to give it.

It's somewhere between a five and a six. is what I was thinking. So 5.5 sounds pretty right on the money. And for a lot of the reasons that you just said, like it was definitely fun to watch. But, I mean, you know, there were obviously some plot hole line or some plot holes and some really super cheesy parts.

And it's a movie from the 80s, man. How often is somebody going to pick this up and actually watch it, probably not. And if you miss it, it's probably not that big a deal. But if you never seen it before and you want to go back and watch it,

it's fun to watch. If you want to watch something campy and very 80s, then this is for you. There you go. Brian? I'm going to bump it up a half a point to a six.

All right. Just for his fucking sweet moves he had in his fatigues going down the stairs. straight to a knee slide right out the front door. Right. Right. He had the whole freaking Vietnam throwing the, like the rock move, right?

Yeah. So I would give, you know, I like the practical effects. I think they went comedic on purpose for most of it. Yes. Like I said, I'm going to, just for them sweet moves he had, I'm going to give it an extra half a point. I'm going to say six. All right, cool.

But I got to say those practical effects are scarier than any of the CGI bullshit they've come out with lately. Yes. Especially that main monster that was coming up in the closet. That was creepy. Yeah. All right. Well, there you have it. So I think we would all say it's worth it's worth a watch.

Yeah. I'm not upset that I spent $2.99 renting it in the least. Yeah. If you don't have anything else to watch, this is definitely worth watching. Yeah, I say definitely check it out. Definitely watch the second one. The second one's a little bit more fun. Right. Stay away from three and four. All right. So now we move on to our main feature, which is the brand new film Abattoir, or Abitouis, or however you pronounce it. The director is Darren Lynn Bousman, also known for Saul.

two, three, and four. The Mother's Day remake, and have you guys ever seen Repo the Genetic Opera? I've seen probably about 20 minutes of it and shut it off. Didn't make it through it, huh? I'm not really, I can't really do musicals. Right, and it was definitely a musical in every sense of the word. It was different, you know?

I mean, it was worth watching, I thought. But if you ever get a chance, you might check it out again. just mainly because it has a lot of horror icons in it. Yeah. Some in large roles, some in small roles. But yeah, it was definitely different, no doubt about that. The writer is Christopher Monfet, who has written some episodes of the sci-fi channel show 12 Monkeys. Have you guys ever seen that?

I've seen the first season. I have not seen the show. It's a decent show. Yeah. Yeah. I enjoyed the movie. much. I really didn't want to see the show because I was afraid it was going to, you know, kind of, because I mean, after the way that movie ended, how in the hell are you going to keep the storyline going was my thought. But then again, I guess if you can do time travel, you can reset every story, right? Yeah.

Writer Montfet grew up in Massachusetts as a lifelong lover of genre fiction. He began his career as an entertainment journalist for mainstay geek institution. IGN and G4, and a transition to comic book writing with IDW's Seduth, his debut collaboration with Horror Master Clive Barker. Actress Jessica Lounds, who plays Julia, is an accomplished musician. She got her start in music when she was seated on a plane next to a music producer. She handed him her demo. Six months later, he bought one of her songs. She has played the piano since age 10 and loves in,

incorporating it into her music. She can also play the guitar. Dayton Callie, who plays Jebediah Crone, had a recurring role in Sons of Anarchy as Charming's chief of police, Wayne Unser. And last piece of trivia,

an abattoir is a facility where animals are killed for consumption as food products. So, you guys are going to have to take it away on this one, because I, with all my running around, didn't get a chance to see this one. in time.

Man, I totally didn't realize that it was that guy from the sons of anarchy. Yeah, how fucking old is he? Because he looks old as shit in this movie. He looked super old. He had a very tall man vibe. Yeah, I agree.

Yeah. You want to go ahead and take it away? Yeah, I guess so. I don't know, man. I thought it was fun. It was kind of like an old school film noir type thing

like with the detective and all that she came in and yeah it was it was a bit confusing at times yeah but then it was it was that sort of detective thing mixed with mixed with a horror movie

and I don't know how like it was super cheesy at first and then and then it got kind of creepy and then it got kind of campy. So it sort of spanned the globe on the horror movie thing.

Yeah, I totally agree with everything you just said. I'm trying not to spoil it before we get into spoilers. It sounds pretty interesting. It has a good concept. Right. Yeah. But at times it was kind of like

the motive for what was happening. kind of got lost a little bit. Definitely. Yeah, because that part didn't make a whole lot of sense at all, really. Yeah. The collection of the rooms. Yeah, that's where I got lost. Yeah, and even at the end, they didn't really explain, you know, what was going to happen.

Not to lead into spoiler territory or anything, but, uh. Yeah. The acting was fine. The main, what was her name? Jessica Lowndes? How do you say her last name? No idea. Good question.

It looks like it's Lowndes, maybe. Yeah, she was fine in it. I mean, she wasn't the best thing ever. I didn't really have a problem with the acting, I don't think. Yeah, like I said, maybe it's, because, you know, like you said, it was kind of like a noir type of. thing in the beginning. I was very confused at the time setting. Yeah, me too.

It seemed like a throwback, but, you know, they had iPhones and shit like that. Right. So I think, and I'm not sure if they just were trying to say that this particular chick really likes old things. Or if maybe the beginning was set in the past. Huh. I don't know. Yeah. They didn't really explain it very well.

I think that she just likes old things and was driving old cars and stuff. Yeah, because she also had like a, like a kind of a throwback look to her the way she did her hair and the way she dressed. Yeah, very much. And I thought the movie was set in like the 50s until, uh, until they started pulling out, yeah, cell phones and stuff. But I will say, uh, when they get, when they get into the more horror aspect of the show, you're right you know it gets creepy like that whole town is creepy with the townspeople oh yeah and and then lynn she pops up lynn she is awesome yeah she's kind of creepy without trying to be creepy so but she she works it yeah overall you know it was a decent movie it just i think the movie itself was just kind of

confused on what it was trying to be yeah that makes sense. And it didn't really explain. I like the way you described that. Yeah. I think we should just go ahead and get into ratings because it's really hard not to spoil this movie. Yeah, because there's a lot of little twist and turns in it.

And with any sort of detective kind of thing, it's hard to really get into detail with it without giving away what the next plot twist is going to be, you know? Yeah. So you want to go ahead, give your writing first? I'm going to give it a six. I think that it was fun and it was worth watching. But if it's like on Netflix, if it pops up on Netflix and you've got nothing else to watch, check it out. Oh, man, that's disappointing.

I was hoping out of here you guys give better scores. You know, I don't know if I go out of my way to go watch it. Yeah, I really wanted to like this. When I seen the trailer, the trailer is a, it feels like it gives off a completely different vibe than what the movie is. The trailer looks super creepy. Yeah, because I've seen, I can't, I can't even think of the podcast that they was talking about this trailer. And the guy basically said the movie should be called Frankenhouse because of all these different rooms put together. all these, you know, where these horrible things happened.

And I don't know. I just, you know, like Phillips said, it was like a detective movie that turns into a horror movie. And I think that's, I'm just going to get my rating. I'm going to give it a five. It was okay. Damn it. I just, I just think it didn't know what it was trying to be. Yeah, but the way you guys are describing it, I mean, you were really selling me on it.

You know, it's like, you said it starts out as one type of. film and then it gets campy and then it, you know, it changes again. There's a lot of, there's a lot of ups and downs. There's a lot of peaks and valleys. It's like, yeah, one minute it has my attention.

Then the next minute I'm kind of lost and not understanding what's going on. Sure. And like I said, the whole, the whole, the whole concept of the, the rooms and everything, the purpose,

I just, I didn't get it. I mean, maybe, I don't know. I just, I didn't get it. And it wasn't explained at the end, and it just kind of abruptly ends. Yeah. And the beginning of the movie, it looks so cheesy that it's, it's just, like, I kind of really wasn't paying attention to the first 20 minutes of it. Yeah, because the whole, the whole detective throwback kind of, the way they were talking, I thought they were doing it on purpose. Well, they were doing it on purpose, but I thought they were being funny.

like they were joking around but is and I thought that in the past at first you know with the way that they were talking and everything especially the main the main guy yeah that dude he was basically like yeah he was basically like Dick Tracy yeah I don't I don't think that I liked that character

I don't think he's a very good actor did he have the yellow hat and the yellow overcoat and everything no he's a kidding little guy That's all he was missing. Did Madonna show up? This probably would have been a complete... It probably would have been a little bit better.

Okay. I bet you would have. That was a kick-ass movie. All right. It sounds like you guys are ready to spoil. Yeah, let's get into spoilers. All right, I'm dying to hear. This is a motherfucking spoiler alert.

You've been fucking warned. This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. You've been fucking warned. This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. Because I'm probably not going to see the movie Unless it shows up on Netflix now Yeah, I don't know if I would, man It's I mean, unless you just have nothing else going on

And with this podcast, you're going to have something else going on So Yeah All right guys, so let's hear it Was there a twist or what? You know, there all just wasn't even a twist I just, it irritated me that they didn't explain anything in the end So he's putting all these

these murder rooms together in this house because it apparently he came from hell it's what I gather. Yeah I believe Okay I think him and his family were shot and killed Yeah I'm not sure I thought he shot his family and then went to hell Okay see that did

It was very confusing I thought he was building this house to I thought he was building this house to bring his wife and kid back. Oh, yeah, I didn't get that at all. I don't know why. I don't know. But that would have made more sense than any of the shit that I was watching.

And I don't know. I feel like changing my rating now. I know, right? Oh, boy. So, yeah. But he creates, point is, they had to find some sort of backstory. so that he could build this room with a bunch of houses of dead people

and create this rift between the living and the dead. And apparently, from what I gather, maybe he wants the dead or the underworld or hell or whatever you want to call it to come up and take over Earth. And that's why he's building this thing. But then they don't really, even though when he's, like succeeds in his mission because at the end of the movie he does, they still don't really

show anything. Yeah, it just ends. Yeah, it's just the end of the movie. He's like ah, I win, bam, done. But I mean, I will say I like the whole concept of the house when you walked into each room, the ghost of

the people that got murdered there. Yeah. You basically, you basically, you would see them basically reliving their death over and over and over. Right. Which I was a little confused. I was a little confused at some of the death scenes.

Did the person that killed them also die? Because their ghost was there too? You know, I think on a lot of it, well, that's a good point. I was to say on a lot of them, I think it was murder suicides. And that seemed to be the theme to the whole thing. except that in the very first scene where it was supposedly the husband that murders the family

and they never explain even why he does that because he does not seem like the kind of person that would do that. There was a lot of things not explained. Like, yeah, he seemed like he was possessed or something and that's why he did this, but then they never dove any further into that. Yeah, and... And he's still alive, but, yeah. you're right

I think his his ghost was in that room right yeah I think so this might be this might be the worst review we ever did because this movie was very confusing and

yeah the more we talked about spoilers the more I'm like maybe we gave it a little too high oh no is this going to be in our bottom five oh it it's creeping in there the more we're the longer

we're talking about it. Well, because the more I'm talking about it, it's like, oh man, I think I kind of missed this part. Maybe there was something I didn't see. What did you see? And he's like, I don't know. Oh, no. So it just went nowhere. Is this the movie, the horror movie

version of Seinfeld? And instead of a show about nothing, it was a movie about nothing? It's a movie. Seinfeld was awesome, by the way. You have, Lance hasn't seen it. Lance, go. Watch Signfield right now. Yeah, I've seen it.

I've seen a couple of episodes maybe here and there. You have to go watch it. It's awesome. Way better than this movie. Yeah, we probably should review Seinfeld because... Yeah, I'd be down with that. Because, I mean, the way we're reviewing it, it sounds like it's one of those movies you've got to go back and watch. But I kind of don't want to go back and watch it again.

No, I absolutely don't want to go back and watch it again. I think that if we went back and watched it again, it would make about as much sense as it did the first time. Why? Why are all these people from this town dying? Yeah, I don't understand. They sold their souls for what? They have, like, the B-pline going to the whole soul.

Okay, okay, let me explain real quick. The main guy, Unser from Sons of Anarchy. Right. It comes to this town that I guess the town is broke and sick and dying. or something. And now that I realize that's answer, he's way less scary. Yeah. And basically, instead of preaching about God, he's preaching against God.

And I guess they sell their souls. They basically, there's a fire at the school and all the kids get killed. Basically, they pledged their children as sacrifices. Right. And they never explain what, yeah, they never explained what they got out of it. right but now all the people are in this town and they are I almost thought they were dead for a minute but I think that they're still alive and they have some sort of

connection with Satan and this tall man looking unser character I almost I almost thought that because I guess the main actress and her sister who died early in the movie I guess they were two children that were supposed to die, but they got away somehow? Yeah, I don't know if they didn't even explain that. Maybe they stayed home sick from school that day, but apparently they got adopted or something. When they both died in the movie, I thought, okay, this is where we're going to see what

I guess they were supposed to, the town was supposed to get, but like I said, it just ends with no explanation. Yeah, that was the part that I had a problem with. I was like, that was the end of the movie. and I still Because Because they Yeah they pledged sacrifices for all their children And the town still looks broke and sickly and

And there's like 15 people in the entire town And I do see where you say you thought they were dead Like the scene where she's at I guess a steel mill or something And they just kind of like you know walk past her and she's calling them and they just keep walking. You know, I did think they were kind of, I thought they were ghosts. They had a very ghostly feel to them. It was this super

tiny small town, but it's in like New York or some shit, huh? Yeah, I think so. So, how a little bitty-ass town like I had to exist in New York anymore? I don't know. The whole thing just kind of didn't make sense. I mean, he's in the middle of

these woods and he's building this big house. How he got all this money, apparently from Satan? they don't really explain. There's not really a whole lot of backstory to the whole thing. It's like when they wrote this script, they had good ideas, but no way to explain any of them. Yeah, they were like, here's going to be some really creepy visuals.

How do we back this up with the story? And then they hired some third graders to write it. Wow. I think I'm I'm gonna I've never done this before I'm gonna go back and change my rating yeah you're gonna drop it a little bit I'm gonna drop it down to a one I gotta drop it down now that I've seen it no but you know what it was the visuals were good and it was like that you know I think that it was a I think it was a better movie than that piece of trash

who watched last week I had a way higher well Brian you're scared me dude you know what I mean I just

like I said the more we talk about it the more I'm more confused now I don't know I feel like we're talking

about a whole bunch of different movies Brian yeah that's a good away from the light stay away from the light oh this is like

you're giving us the same score you gave incarnate it is it might be just just might be a bad couple of weeks. Oh my God. It's not too far off of Wingarten.

That's what I said, man. Oh, boy. You've got really nothing else to watch then check it out. But if it's a... If you've got anything else on your cue, man, go with that. Jesus. All right. I don't feel so bad that I miss this one now.

No, and I was going to tell you that in a text earlier. Like, I was like, okay, well, it's really not a... as scary as the preview make it look. But then I was like, you know, it's also not as good as the previews make it look. So you might just want to skip it. Wow. Yeah, because the trailer looked really good. It did, right?

Yeah, Lance, honestly, I think if you would have went in this based off of the trailer, I think you would have been disappointed. Yeah. All right. Fair enough. Fair enough. Well, guys, I certainly hope whatever we watch next week is best.

better than what we've seen the last two weeks. Yeah. So, um, what are we watching next week? Well, next week we are going to have a special guest, Denny Lewis, from the After Midnight podcast.

Oh, and, uh, yeah, we are going to be doing a, well, I don't know, what, would you call it,

uh, chapter 3.5, maybe, Brian? Yeah. Saga. Definitely. Uh,

Yeah, we're going to be reviewing a little movie called Rogue One. Oh, slick as hell. I got tickets on Thursday night. I am super excited. I've never, I got tickets for IMAX 3D, and I've never been in IMAX 3D ever. See, our IMAX, it's not like IMAX was when I was a kid. I remember IMAX being like all the way around when I was able. Okay.

Right? But now it's like the screen is slightly curved. Like, oh, wow, thanks. I'm glad I paid an extra two bucks to this. Yeah, what's the big deal, huh? It's kind of a curved screen, so what, right? What is the deal with these people? I know that's not told us.

All right. As always, we want to thank you for joining us this week. Next week we'll be covering the new road. Rogue One, as well as the old school movie Fanboys. Yes. Hope to see you all. We'll be there next week. But as always, good night.