The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #272: The Faculty (1998) Commentary

Episode Date: August 9, 2021

It's our back to school special as we do a commentary for The Faculty. Cool of the Week is The Suicide Squad. We skip feedback new and trailers but they will return. Thanks for listening!

Hi, this is Don Mancini. You're listening to The Horror Returns. Greetings, victims. For those of you who delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify goal, welcome. You have found the place where the horror returns. Listeners beware This podcast contains major plot spoilers In the foulest of language Join us In celebrating the old and the new

The best and the worst in horror Greetings listeners You have found the poor returns And for all of you who delight in dread, fantasize about fear and glorify gore. Oh, I'm saying it like we don't have an intro anymore, like the old days. That is kind of the cool. That's a cool thing, though, about pulling up those old episodes that we did like way back when.

Yeah, I thought we were going old school for a minute. Well, we've come a long way, guys. I think, I think we have. I think we got a lot fewer pregnant pauses now. And of course, we still don't know horror. No, we don't. We've at least been around for a little while. How's that?

There you go. A day or two, man. But I'm here with, this is Lance. I'm here with my co-host, Brian and Philip Nez. I got called into work at the last minute. But I am sure he'll be back next week. But Brian, what did you pick for us this week, man? I thought you honestly believe we were going to do a commentary.

for the Rodney Dangerfield classic back to school, but that's not the case. No, that's a totally different show. If we did that, then you can truly say we don't know horror because we're doing a comedy. Do you know the triple

indie? Yes, we do. We are doing the faculty in honor of all the kids, well, hopefully going back to school with, you know, you never know the way things are going right now, but it's back to school time

back to school time get your masks ready well yeah this is one I haven't seen since it first came out so this should be fun I do remember Fomke Jansen and Salma Hayek being in this movie that's what I remember oh really

yeah that was the high points for me man this one always falls into one of those categories where it's kind of like three or four other movies. It is a little bit, isn't it? Yeah, class of 1984 and... Yeah, I think one of them weird things is, like,

no one ever really realizes that Robert Rodriguez directed it. Oh, wow. I had no idea. It's a trip, right? There you go. All right. Something new every day. Well, since that's what we're getting into tonight, we're going to kind of skip most

of our regular segments, but we got to go into cool of the week, so you guys think we can knock down three quick cools of the week? Yeah, I've got mine. Oh, yeah, for sure. Step up. I'll go first because mine always sucks anyway. Although this week it doesn't.

No. Um, I'm going to go with the suicide squad. Okay, so there's two, so I don't even need to go. I see. Probably y'all's two. That was fine, too. I guess we're doing the hat trick here. Yeah.

Big improvement, huh? Yeah, and what is so shocking to me is there is quite a few people that hate it. Doesn't make any sense, dude. It's got the gore. It's got the adult language. It's got the adult jokes. It's got Harley Quinn out Harley Quinning herself, I think. What's not to like about this?

Maybe they were pissed because the Joker wasn't in it? I don't know. Well, I mean, again. Yes, I don't know. I saw someone commented on your post. I think it was Ryan Stevens, said he was bored, and he walked out an hour into the movie, and I'm like, you were bored and you walked out. I don't get that. Each host is entitled to our own opinion.

But I'm kind of wondering if people are thinking they're talking about the first one, since they're kind of similar titles. Yeah, I wouldn't think so. but yeah i mean i didn't really see anything i mean it's not the best movie you know it's not like avengers or anything but it's a huge step up from the first suicide squad oh yeah and they pretty much kept it lighthearted and fun the whole time uh fucking shark i love him that's right no uh nanaway yeah voice father that's Vesta Stallone.

Yeah. This reminded me so much more of the cartoon that Art had us watch, the apocalypse thing. Oh, yeah. And that's what it should be. This is what the comic book

movie should be. Probably going to be land on my top ten, guys. Yeah. Those cartoon ones that we watched were better than any of the movies that we've seen. No doubt. Yeah, this was, I actually watched this one twice.

Big step up from the original. And it kind of makes me look at the Guardian's movies a little bit different. Okay. How, you know, how different they could have been if, uh, because you,

you know Marvel don't really give their directors complete control. Right. But James Gunn, you know he had complete control with this movie. Yeah. Yeah, this reminded me more of his early stuff, right? His trauma stuff. Yeah.

Definitely. Definitely. Yeah, I like his silliness and the use of music and stuff like that. He's got very kind of a Guy Ritchie feel to him almost. Oh, yeah. Hadn't thought about that. And I, honestly, I enjoyed all the characters. Like, Philip, like you brought up, I think I need a King Shark figure. Yeah, buddy.

I ended up really liking Pocodot Man. Yeah. I didn't know because I knew a little bit about him. But I wasn't really knowing what to expect with him in a movie because, you know, it's a silly character. Yeah. But I ended up really enjoying him, a rat catcher too. Yeah. She is, I don't know the actress's name.

She's a Portuguese actress. Very cute. Very easy on the eyes. Yes. Very, and you wouldn't even really think about it. she's technically like one of the most powerful characters in the movie

yeah I mean I guess so more rats than people and you know what I like John seen his character I thought he was funny in this oh peacemaker and the tidy whiteys yeah that's racist man we haven't had a hat trick

in a while have we yeah which he's getting his own series they've already filmed to. Really? Yeah, it's going to be a limited series on HBO Max. Oh, man. Well, we're all in.

I'll take it. Yep. All right. I guess we will move on, right, Phil? Yeah, let's do it. I think it's all you now, brother. Who, me? Yeah.

We're doing a little trivia and stuff before we go into the movie, this time, I think. Oh, shit. We got feedback? Hang on. I was not prepared. It's all right. I was like, oh, okay, are we starting a movie now?

All right. Oh, why are you pulling that up? I want to send a congratulations to a friend of the show, Carl McCullough, got married. Oh, congrats. She tied him down at last, huh? You. Welcome to our world, Carl. Blink, three times if you need us to come pick you up.

All right. So we'll get into a little trivia on the faculty. When Casey Connor, Harrington High School's newspapers photographer, witnesses the murder of a nurse and sees her alive again, he decides to investigate the bizarre happenings. Or she's Jesus. Director is Robert Rodriguez, also known for Machete and Planet Terror and many other things. Writer is Kevin Williamson, also known for Scream.

and teaching Miss Tingle. That sounds sexy. And many other things, including the following TV shows. You guys watch that with Kevin Bacon? Oh, yeah. James Purifoy. Yeah, kind of.

It's a good show. Yeah, I think I only watched the first season. I can't remember. Yeah, I sort of fell off after the first season. Y'all saw the best season, but it was still a good show. Yeah, like you said, James Purifoy. Solomon Kane. Solomon came himself

So you know he's got the chaps Still wait for those next two movies A lot of the filming was done At the high school in Lockhart, Texas The football team was used in the city Was told to show up for a football game And we're giving fake t-shirts to wear in the stands Also

Jessica Alba auditioned for the role of Delilah Prophet Hmm I couldn't have made a very different movie Okay, well, I guess then we should have had a dummy bar in this movie too then, I, if she was in it. I respect the man. All right. If you're ready to go, you set your time to one second. Okay.

You guys ready? I'll turn up the volume, but not too loud, just enough for everybody to follow along. You want to give us a countdown, Phil? Yeah, okay, so let's go And three, two, one, go Oh, mirror, mix You guys can hear that, but not too loud? I think it should be fine,

maybe a little bit down. A little offspring. Oh, yeah, this was a 90s movie, wasn't? That's the T-1000. Oh, yes, it is. That's my kind of coach. Yeah, that's a rough coach. Is that how you coached little league dude or what?

Sometimes, God, if they don't fucking pay attention. You little cock suckers. Yeah, Usher. No, just my kid. Is that Usher? Yeah. Oh, shit.

Well, I remember when this first came out, yeah, I remember when this first came out, like the whole cast had like a Tommy Hill figure ad campaign, because they were all supposed to be like the, uh-huh. the next, like, young, hot actors or whatever.

Right, right. I don't think most of them really made it here. Robert Rodriguez, man. He's definitely going on until a lot more since this. So, of course, it had to be filmed in Texas

if it was Robert Rodriguez, right? In high school football. I'm surprised if Matthew McConaughey doesn't make a cameo. I know. No new computers, huh? It was fucking 90s. What the hell were they using

TRS 80s or something like that? I mean, no new computers. They didn't even have fucking computers back then worth the shit, didn't they? Oh, shit, I don't remember. I remember in high school we had those little Apple computers that were

like a little square box and a floppy disc went in it. You guys remember those? Yeah, the Or. Tram. Yeah, the Lurgin Trail. Good old text-based games. Texas football.

Yeah, I was about to say, sound like she's not really in favor of sports over education, huh? So now, Brian, what was that movie that you and Nez? Because y'all did Class of 1984, but then you also did class of 1999. Okay, that's the one that I get confused with this one sometimes. It has nothing to do with the previous one. I know.

And those were robots, right? And this one's aliens, if I remember correctly? Yes. Okay. So it's kind of like a little bit of a throwback 50s creature feature type movie, I think, if I remember correctly. I guess we're going to find out. That is a giant computer. Yeah.

Right. 28 inch monitor 28 inches deep too so much for flat screens Philip do you ever go do any install jobs and put up TVs that are like old school TVs like that or is everything pretty much flat screen now well you're not going to hang a cabinet TV on the wall

not going to happen huh I'm sorry we still got one in the back room of my parents' house though do you? Yeah, one of those big ass ones Things last forever, man I don't think it works much anymore But I've seen people like hollow them out

And put plants and shit in there This always makes me uncomfortable in movies A little rapy No, when people You ever notice in movies How close people stand to each other When they speak to each other Yeah, right?

What the hell is up with this? Is he already an alien or what? It reminds me of that old Van Halel on song Hot for Teacher. And he says, I brought my pencil. I don't think that's what he meant. I would spend the first five minutes trying to get it synced just right. Right.

Turning on subtitles and all that bullshit. Are you good to go? Yeah, I think so. Can you hear, y'all, y'all can hear it a little bit, right? Yeah. Yeah, that's how I was gauging it. And it's not too loud? That's good.

Yeah, it's good. So fire has he? Yeah, no shit. He can't just chain the doors in the school. So have y'all seen that teaching Mrs. Tingle? Is that me, Matt Damon? Was it Matt Damon? I can't remember who was in it.

I remember I think of something else. That was another one that was kind of similar to this one, I think. I don't know why. I think because they kind of came out at the same time. Yeah, that's true. I was talking about idle hands. I thought you were talking about this one. Oh, idle hands.

There's another one. Yeah. I think teaching Mrs. Tinkle had Tom Cruise's wife at the time when he was jumping up and down on the couch on the open show. Yeah, it was Katie Holmes and Helen Beren. I don't remember seeing that one. I don't think I've seen that one either. I've seen it, but again, years and years ago. Man, people suck at keys when the pressure.

Yeah. Let's see, I have 48 keys on this key ring. One of them's got to work. Maybe put a backup. Hey, wow. Almost made it. Mm-hmm. Strange way to open a movie.

It's going to be very interesting to see where it goes from here. And some Pink Floyd. All right. I'm digging the soundtrack. Oh, here we go. The curly-haired kid from Stranger Things, right? No. GTO, huh?

Josh Hartley himself. Ah, okay. I forgot about that guy Is he done anything lately? What was he just in? That one about robbing the armored trucks? Yeah, he had like a weird name in it. Boy sweat.

The one that Mother's Milk was in. Yeah. Josh Hardin's name in the movie was Boy Sweat. Yeah, this guy's going on to some big things. That sounds like a porn name. What? Casey? Voice wet.

Oh. Oh, yeah. She's been in, she was in a lot of movies. She was in the craft, right? No. I'm thinking of somebody else. Oh, was that Kyle from the Child's Play 2? Oh, that's the fuck is right.

We don't know horror, folks. That's a Clea de Ball. I know she was in, uh... All these damn nine is white people look to see. Same. Yeah, what has she been in, dude? Because she's been in several. Looks very familiar.

I know she was in that, what's her movie we did a few years ago? Identity. Okay. Yeah, the one with John Cusack. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. And that has definitely been a day or two.

Little gorgeous, this lady. That sucks. Ouch. What a shitty high school. Yeah, no kidding. It's no wonder the teachers start killing everybody. As well they should, right? Oh, what a nice girl.

Guys, I think with this HBO Max deal, taking up with stuff, we may actually start seeing some good DC movies now. Watch your account, man. My shit got hacked. Hacked? What do you mean? Yeah, somebody hacked my HBO Max. account. What?

Because I went in and tried to sign in on another TV. Okay. I could not figure out the password. And then went through and the email was totally wrong. Oh, shit. I don't know what they had on me. I couldn't sign in. I couldn't sign out.

I had to cancel everything. Oh, okay. So just somebody basically tapping into your account watching shit under your name. And probably selling the password online somewhere. Yeah, in Russia, I'm sure. Yeah. Hey, the new world we live in. Dude, Josh Hartnett has got the worst hair I've ever seen.

It bothers me. Me too. It's got like a weird helmet thing. It's like he's got that dumb and dumber bowl cut. And it sticks out in the back. Yeah. And you know it's all on purpose. Ah.

Oh, Samahag looking at her best. Mm. And the police chief from Super Troopers. Is that who that is? Yeah. Oh, shit. John Stewart. Yeah.

Oh, wow. It's an all-star cast, guys. Seriously. Oh, there goes fan kick. John Stewart. Have you ever seen the faculty on weed? Why have we never covered that movie, Brian? That's big.

We might. That would be a fun one. We got to get really stone first. Yeah, we do, guys. We got to start doing an annual 420 show, right? Yeah, there you go. I think our listeners would like it. You want to put something out on the social media, Brian,

and see what people have to say? No, they're going to recommend something like evil, Bong man. Evil Bong? Kevin went in there drank like 12 beers for free, I think, at Frightmare and we were all playing out to.

Probably had to, probably had to get through that movie. I'm sure. That one in Velasapaster. Oh, God. I've heard nothing of the good things about that one, so. Yeah, we didn't stick around for that one.

I like how Josh Hardin is just holding his drugs in his hand while he's sitting at his desk. that is fucking terrible who let him on the set like that you know that was probably cool and edgy back then I'm pretty sure it was still stupid well they didn't want to tell him that you know he'd star the movie

got my drugs in my mouth right how many models are we going to slap some glasses on and pull their hair up and be like oh she's a nerd now yeah very homely until they take the glasses off can pull down the hair, right? It'd be like a Superman walked in with his glasses on. Yeah.

Like, wait a minute. A little studly for a reporter. So this guy's the star football player. Hey, it's Texas. He's the same line as that chick right there. He's not actually on the team. He's the guy that moves the chains. He's the water boy.

He wasn't getting young. out by his coach in the beginning. Ah, that inspired him. Okay. He's having way too much of an existential crisis here to be a star football player. Come on. Just play the fucking game. Four syllables. That's supposed to be your girlfriend.

Aye. Go play football, Stan. You too stupid. Oh, boy. Even as the star football player, she's above his pay grade. Yeah. Seems that way, doesn't it? Is that like a beer, Stein, that he's drinking his morning coffee out of, or what? Yeah, I think he added something to it in the faculty lounge.

An Irish coffee, as they say, huh? That's my kind of coffee. He sure is drinking it. Somebody, who's in an air tunnel? Is that you, Philip? In an air tunnel? I don't think so. Every once in a while I hear It sounds like we're in an air tunnel or something

Oh, sorry Is that just the fan of it? Man, I've got to have some kind of air blowing Oh, I know, dude I'll get that you see on out here in the garage Are y'all getting hot at all there in Alaska, Brian, or just like... Yeah, it's been in the 80s. Sounds like heaven, doesn't it, Philip?

Oh, shit, 80s sounds awesome. It'll be in the 80s for a couple days, and we've been getting a lot of rain. Although, according to my computer, it's 88 degrees right here right now. That's not too bad. Maybe in the shade. Yeah. Somebody has no friends.

Kind of going out of their way to show that, aren't they? Of course, it's the Hobbit himself, right? And he's the photographer. Oh, God. That's three strikes. I was the photographer in high school. I knew people. Were you?

Yeah. I was the school paper or school newspaper editor in high school. Which basically meant we just had to go out to hit up all these small businesses and try to sell fucking ads for the newspaper. It was my primary job. I got in trouble way too much for them to give me any kind of responsibility like that in high school. They knew better, huh? Yeah. Oh, the photographer thing was awesome.

Man, like I was never in class. was always off shooting something somewhere, whether it would be a sports game or some sort of event at like a middle school or whatever. Or the girls' locker room? Well, you got to do what you got to do. Look at this guy. Jesus Christ. You definitely got your band of outcasts in this movie. Am I right?

Yeah, you got your emo goth girl. You got your nerd, your jock, your popular girl, and whatever, Josh Hardinett, I guess he's the cool kid with his haircut. Isn't he the school drug dealer too? Yeah, he was selling drugs in the bathroom to what's his name, old rapy guy. And they snorted out of their ballpoint pens, right? Yeah. Am I think of a different movie?

Yeah, yeah. He calls it a scat, which that's an unfortunate name. Scat. Want to be lab partners? Sure. Well, that's one way to say I think I'm ready to experiment. Oh, you're not? Well, fuck.

Oh, go find another partner. She's like, because I've really been wanting to try pussy. That's what I would have did. If I found a find of a century, I would have brought it to my high school science teacher. Well, my high school science teacher was John Stewart. Well, that's true. Whatever it is, just put it in a bowl and smoke it. You gotta do something, right?

Oh, yeah, I sure. I forgot he was in the movie. There was a haircut. Oh, the cool kid's smart, too. Oh, Lord. That's why he sells drugs, because he's bored. Well, I guess he understands chemistry, right? Uh-oh.

Let's all get closer to it. Yeah. Right. Okay. That's a good idea. What could go wrong? Throw a little alien specimen in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, in a, uh, aquarium and see what happens.

Wow. You always got to stick your hand in, too. Tick is prostate. Goddamn crocodile hunter over here. Hmm. Ah, did it turn into two? Yeah. Hmm.

Oh, boy. Yeah, not a good idea. I'm okay. I'm fucking bleeding. I want to put a cover on that thing. And stop touching the tank. That's your problem, Stan, you keep thinking. This guy's the quarterback.

He's four feet tall. A leprickon quarterback, huh? And Doug Flutty. Let me correct that. He says star quarterback. Right. The star football player. This guy. Is Doug Flutie super tiny or what? Do you like 5-11 or something like that?

I'm 5-6. The dude's a fucking giant compared to me. Of course, I'm not trying to be a quarterback either. Yeah, you definitely got to be able to see above all the defensive players that are in front of the guy you're trying to pass to, am I right? That's just not a big guy either. is the shortest quarterback ever gotta be flutie you think so yeah I'm gonna Google it

could have been what's his name it's gonna be what's his name if he played football ah Devy O'Brien he was 5 foot 7 huh now that's that's short yeah Doug Flutty 510

Doug Flutty 510 you got it man there you go E.D. LaBaron 5-7. Of course, these were way back in the old days, I think. Looks like they were actually wearing those leather helmets. We've come a long way. But yeah, Doug Flutie, I guess you're right. As far as the modern age, Phil.

That's when everybody was kind of shorter, though, huh? So, like, are we growing as a species? I guess we're going to be giant. Maybe it has to do with, you know, diet and stuff like that. now this is weird I was Casey still hanging out in the

locker room okay that's all right yeah yeah yeah you fight oh that's

man that kind of had vibes of like drag me to hell or what was the Stephen King one

where they got the gypsy curse thinner oh thinner I like thinner I like thinner I didn't you know

you didn't you didn't you didn't like white man from town? But you can hear me talk about it with Beda and Marcy on the King's Own from a couple of months ago. You want to go listen to that.

This is a lot better than trucks or whatever that movie was. Yeah, well, just stick with maximum overdrive, man. If you're going to go campy, go campy. I'm not crazy, but I think something might be wrong with the faculty. I'm getting that feeling.

What is this? time? He saw porn tapes? No. Is he? He said Jennifer Love Hewitt. Is he sex tapes, maybe? Yeah. Or sex tapes for a thing? No. Not that

I'm aware of. Nobody complained to you. Mind-altering substances. Somebody played, was it NAS that played this on his podcast a couple of months ago? This back and forth right here? I heard it on a podcast. I've been a podcast recently.

Seriously. Huh. I don't remember the context for it, but they definitely played these lines. Your two tents need to try some drugs or something like that. Offering the teacher some magnum-sized condoms. Well, it's worth to try. Probably would have worked if his haircut wasn't stupid.

Yeah, that's true. She's like, I definitely would have banged you, except your hair looks ridiculous. Now that's Georgiana Brewster, right? The Fast and Furious chick? Yeah. Okay. She's a baby too. Golly. This one was a long time ago.

Been a while hasn't it? What was it about? 20 years ago? Yeah, I guess so. What is she? An investigative reporter? She needs to investigate those cherry-flavored magnum condoms. Cherry-flavored magnum condoms,

huh? The wife ran off of the baby sitter. The wife ran off with the babysitter. Okay. Well, that might drive me to drink, too. Who was the babysitter? Is this for the school paper? I don't know.

Yes, it's a pretty kind of story. She's what's the kind of articles they're running. Pretty deep investigating, no thing. She's out of your league too, Casey. Those blinds are really wide open for them to be hiding. That's a good point. That's creepy. Very interesting.

I guess she likes creepy. Sure. Why not, right? Is it just me or does Samaheimai just get better with age? Oh, yes. Yeah, no kidding, man. She's been pretty amazing for all of us. ways.

She's like 5'2. She's got to be almost 50, right? Yeah. Almost 50. I think she's past it. I'm sure she's way over 50, dude. Yeah. I know her husband's way over

70 or something. Is he like a producer or something like that? I'm looking at it out right now. I wonder if they have some kind of an agreement. Maybe he's got needs. Salma Hyac is 54 years old. Mm. Actually, younger than I thought.

And her husband, uh, apologies to her husband. He's 59. Hey, man. Hello. Hello. Don't listen to that teacher. He's drunk. Oh, Casey.

Collie. Elijah Wood, you suck. Use those big ass hobbit feet and get out of it. Those hairy hobbit feed, huh? Hey, that guy eats pieces of shit for breakfast. Hey, Casey. Sorry about that mix, so. Sorry about the dead body.

They give resuscitation to his names. It's all creepy. She's choking. No, yeah, she's not. Ooh. Oh. She had to the medicine back. So we ran.

I took her home myself. It is procedure. Casey would never make it in Texas football. Is that the Happy Gilbar guy? Yeah, Shooter McGavin. Okay. This movie sure did hit a low-up part now.

Is it? No bizarre series of events. It's our fault won't have any. Bump, bum. I better start killing people. That's not where I hit my drugs. That magazine says boob. It's a classic.

I thought he said no internet. Go back in. Oh, damn it, Casey. He really is a gluts, huh? Why does he still have his boob magazine? Wouldn't you? You know, he doesn't seem like the kind of kid that's ever had really any issues before. Uh-huh.

You'd think maybe they'd listen to him a little, even as crazy as he sounds. Well, you would hope so, right? Maybe it's time for a drug test. The truck driving around with its trailer doors opened. Lost a package. I got was drunk. Is that the teacher that was drinking the Irish coffee? Yeah.

Is that Jordana Brewster? I can't tell. Yeah, it is. Now they've got her looking like a nerve with the glasses and all that. She's in disguise. Right. Yeah. It doesn't work.

It's still hot. Oh, there she is. Clark, Jordana Kent. There we go. I had a ponytail in glasses so they wouldn't recognize me. Do you guys kind of get a weird, not being on Elm Street vibe here, where it's like the kids and the parents don't believe them? and they're the ones that were going to have to kind of save the day.

Yeah, there's a... Seems to be a lot of influences here. I've been getting a little Sam Ramey. Yeah. Ah, okay. Okay. It gave this guy a lot of slow emotion scenes. I've got to stay hydrated.

I think they'd get bigger cups. Stan's really trying this cool thing. I give him some credit. He's trying. Sorry, I see him. that in your lap. Is that a flashlight? Is that a flashlight? You just happen to see me. The four foot seven quarterback. I mean, I guess. I don't know. I just look at him and I just imagine him getting destroyed on the field. Yeah, like had they switched out his character and Elijah Woods character were to work just the same.

Sure you did. He definitely deserves the D. I snuck that Tommy Hill figurine. Guy sure wants his D. The guy who's drinking more in water. That's how you can tell something's wrong. That hair's fucking killing me, man. I know. It's like between dumb and dumber and let me...

Hope I didn't miss much, guys. I had to go for a quick little beer run. You just missed another shot of his haircut. Oh, no tithes? No. Okay. What are they all lined up for? I think they're supposed to be getting...

checkups. Are they getting tested? Like, is this going to be a scene out of alien with the blood and the wire? I mean, not alien. The thing. They're getting... We don't know horror.

Yeah, I think they're getting ears checked and getting infected. Bugs in the ear. Oh, okay. That would be the absolute worst way for an alien to take over. Kind of dumb. Well, I mean, just

It bothers me You know, like Something going inside your ear Yeah, fucked up For someone that's a nerd And doesn't have any friends He sure does know everybody Is that that guy?

He's like the coolest nerd on campus, right? That guy looked familiar too Oh, there's a lot of people popping up In this movie that I've seen in so much stuff, man Yeah, that's that dude, right? What the fuck is this? And I have a lot common. That's definitely him.

You know, that kid. You've seen him in a bunch of shit before. The only thing I could think of is, what was it, meet the parents. Okay. Gotcha. He was Robert De Niro's son. I was smoking weed all this time. Look, and what was his name?

Danny something or other. Yeah. From that 70s show. From his latest. Who's his little buddy? He looks kind of familiar too. There's a bunch of fucking people in this movie. A bunch of narcs.

Somebody got hot. Oh, my gosh. She got that Courtney Cox screen three haircut. Oh, no! With the super short bangs. That looks like an accident. That's all. How old boy.

And you should be a bastard mistake. You're shocked. What are you are? And this is a teacher? I think she'd be fired on the spot Yeah Well this was the 90s

So Probably could have gotten away With a little bit More back then Oh he'd like it Oh With her I might try it

Fogg's You don't have to stick your foot up my ass For that I'll suck I know Right But hey Whatever you're into

Did she say He did a wet and wild In the boys locker her hair bothers me too miss her misheard that hmm dingus

what's the last time you heard dingus it is a good comeback I think we I'll start using dingus

a little more dingus again you remember the fungus among us yeah Casey you're being kind of loud

with your conspiracy theories mm-hmm what the fuck does that sentence make any sense to you guys at all?

Everybody gets hung up on the science part. They're getting us with the fiction. What in the fuck is that even supposed to mean? They're getting to you from the back door.

I mean, dude. Is this an info wars or what? They're turning the freaking bogg's gate. Lizard people or what? Oh, I started watching that documentary guys on HBO, the Q,

QAnon thing down the rabbit hole or whatever. Oh yeah? Yeah. Have y'all seen any of that? Yeah. No, I started the Miami cocaine one. Yeah, that's probably more exciting. This is pretty fucking boring so far. It's like, you know, you and they get into those documentaries

where you know they're not going to give you an answer at the end, but they ask all these questions. It's like, okay, great. Because they're like, oh, who really controls QAnon? You know, we're, follow those. the money, follow the money. Well, that's, yeah, okay.

We don't talk politics on this podcast, so. I didn't, I didn't mind it. I like where they went. Did you kind of like it? Yeah. They didn't explain what the fuck it was. I still don't know. How far are you in?

I'm only two episodes in. I watched the whole thing, I think. Did you? Okay. Well, maybe, maybe it gets better. But that's, uh, no, it just keeps doing that every episode in the middle of the end. Well, the one dude with the brittle bone syndrome, like, the glass, like glass has.

Yeah. Even is an interesting character, right? Definitely. The little guy? Yeah, it's obviously a genius, right? Oh, yeah. They all are. It's super smart. It's just like, I don't know, man. I expected a little bit more,

but maybe I'll give it the rest of the, I think there's four more episodes. Yeah. It's all about who's behind it, though, and not so much what it is. So it still doesn't really shed a whole lot A lot of life. Exactly.

Yeah, it's like a lot. Speculation, right? All speculation. Smoking a cigarette, guys. Oh, he's a bad boy. Yeah, you can see how he lit a cigarette. What is Zippo? Uh-oh, what's going on here?

Is this real or is he faking with him? What is this girl from? Oh, yeah, he's faking. Is that, um, is that, um, is that, um, No, it's not who I thought it was. God damn it. I have no idea, man. Probably nothing.

No, she's definitely been in some stuff. Now, is he an alien now, too? Has he been taken of this one? That would explain his haircut. They can't take the main character. Right. Maybe he's the one teacher they can actually trust. So, I'm a hyac.

Why haven't we fucking seen her in a while? She's an alien now. She's giving air exams now. Well, she can give me an air exam. Just show up and preferably take your shirt off. Oh, the Avengers have assembled now. Oh, no. Here we go.

Man, the only person in this school. What the fuck? Fuck them up, Casey. Well, finally some good practical effects, man. Look at those fingers. Holy shit. Now that may be. is getting good is this really happening wait where are you at john stewart right

yeah kind of sounds like you're past us did you skip something wait a minute okay john stewart's got the uh the pin in his eye right with the drugs in it oh no are we all if i'm worried phillips that he's just now throwing down all the kids oh man how did i fast forward I'm going to have to back it up a little bit. Oh, here we go. And now he just took the paper cutter. Okay, let me know when y'all get to where he cuts his fingers off. I'm backing up.

I don't know how that happened. Oh, there it goes. There goes this finger. Must be a showtime thing. And these fingers are running around on the ground. Okay. Now we're getting close. Okay.

Now it makes more sense. Now it's becoming a good thing. Oh, that was gross. We are, how far are we in that we just now got some action? Yeah, he's doing the way for him right now, right? Yeah. Okay, we're on this, now we're together. That was weird.

It's like mine skipped ahead fucking 20 seconds or something. That was bizarre. I was like fingers. Did I miss something? Where did his fingers go? This is my figure out the drug and the pan fucks them up, right? Remember kids, sometimes drugs are the answer. Hey!

I'll stand, you puss. You know, throw the paper cutter to... What is his name, Zeke? The star quarterback, or what? No, the star quarterback threw the weapon to somebody else to use. Oh, he said, yeah, I'm out of here, man. I don't want anything to do with this, man. See, Josh Hartman looks more like the star quarterback.

They cast this thing all right. Right, yeah. Yeah, because the guy that plays... Stan, you guys ever see that movie Providence? Something Providence where he was like the towny drug kid that was trying to go to

fancy school or something. Yeah, sounds familiar. Outside Providence or something. Yeah, that is. See, he should have been the drug dealer. Yeah. They could have flipped those two characters and it would have been fine. Right. But I think Josh Hartnett's playing the

part pretty well, so. Definitely got the fucked up haircut, right? So what's the end game? They're all aliens and they're still going to school and hanging out? I guess. Hmm. Are they just trying to get everybody in control here? Drink your water, raise your hands, read your books.

They wanted to have an army of high school kids. These aliens suck. Yeah. Very weird, man. so you guys are the part where all the football players in their shirts are walking out yeah right now sure this football team sucks so yeah you know what maybe we should just start having some side conversations at this point guys something's got to happen but we've gotten one big action scene right with the aquarium

and the fingers and that's about it where did the fingers go uh uh something to tells me we're going to find out. Maybe? Maybe that's where Salma Hyatt comes. Maybe they're looking for some Salma Hayek.

I don't know, man. These movies with the rich white kid problems, you know? I don't know. Like aliens in the ears. That's definitely a witch white kid problem. That's an awful

big house you live in Zee. No shit, man. That's the fucking garage right there. Let's go hang out in my party room, man. My dad's building a fucking yacht. You know, this is a drug laboratory. Yeah, he's got a drug laboratory. Really? This guy should be like Stan's Idol. This is a real smart kid here. You know, kidding. Heisenberg.

Yeah. So these big expensive drugs that he's selling all the kids in the ballpoint pins is nothing but a bunch of fucking no-dose tablets. Great. Just go buy a coffee, get the same effect. I don't know about you guys, man, but I'd rather have real drugs. I do have a quick story for y'all. Look, I think we have time, right? Yeah.

So after I graduated from high school, we did a senior trip to Hawaii, right? And we went to, what's the big city, like where Pearl Harbor is? Is that Oahu? Sure. Okay. We don't know. The Oahu's definitely in Hawaii. I don't know.

Anyway, we went to Hawaii. And so everywhere you walk down the street, they're like, Maui-Wawi. Maui, come here, come to the side. Buy some Maui-Wawi. Really? So, you know, maybe in a dumb fuck, you know, 18-year-old recent graduate from high school. You get some long clippings? Uh, close.

It was oregano. Oh. So we got back to the room and proceeded to get super pissed off. And of course, we went back to the restaurant. I think I was standing in front of and he was long gone. So, yeah. That was that. I imagine the sentence he sold it he had to get.

Yeah, yeah, move on, move on and get some other fucking sucker, huh? Yeah. Because otherwise somebody's going to come back and kick his ass. Now, this is pretty gross. It's a parasite. These kids are awfully smart for high school. Well, I'm not saying. Well, I mean, I slept through most of my high school science classes.

I don't know about you guys. I did like the dissection day, though. That was fun. Did you? Yes. My main memory was, we made a small, like, three-by-five card of the periodic table of elements, and we would put it on our chair. and put our legs over it, right?

And when the teacher wasn't looking and we were doing the test, I would move my legs and look down at the periodic tail of elements and cheat. I did that with my multiplication tables when I was young. Did you? We've all got a story like that, except Brian. Brian's a genius. Yeah, I was Casey back in the day. He had your own meth lab going, or what?

right so far. Hey, it didn't blow up. Universal music can't sue us for talking about a meth lab, man. So her whole purpose is because she likes science fiction. Huh. Well, they did have a guy like that and scream.

Go where? They sure did. I don't think she knows science fiction. Why, be I understand you've been acting in the past couple days. There's another big word. You want to talk slightly odd. Shit that flew 20 years ago, huh? It's a whole different world, right?

Here we go with the blame game, right? Like, who's really one of the aliens? This is so much like the thing, isn't it, Brian? You got to have that moment of stress amongst the superheroes. Oh, not bad. Dropping shit. So what do you guys think about? Lonnie Langston's

pick for our commentary. Can't say that I like it. How do you know? You've never seen it, have you? You told me it was a musical, so... It's a musical-ish. Do they dance and sing? You guys know who Danny Elfman is, right? From Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo?

Oh, from that movie. Yeah, there's... No, there's a band called Oingo Boingo. Boingo. Yeah, they had that song, Dead Man's Party. Oh. You guys remember that? It sounds familiar now.

Okay, so his brother directed this film, okay? What is it called? It's called Forbidden Zone. Forbidden Zone? And I have access to it, so I could, if nothing else, sends you guys a link if you can't find it. But it's definitely one of those. where you do not want to go in sober. Oh, it

doesn't look like it. The bizarre musical tale of a girl who travels to another dimension to the gateway found in her family's basement. Oh, he's got that little dude from fantasy. Herbe village is. Ziplaine! Ziplaine! He plays the

king of the forbidden thing, man. Casey's highest shit. You guys are going to love it. I promise you. I promise you, you guys will love it. I'll put money That is yet to be determined

Why is he going to shoot him? Because he wants him to do his own drugs Ah See in this In this movie if you do Doing drugs is good Because it means you're not an alien Yes

So this is totally ripped off From the thing, right? Yeah But I don't I don't want to do the comparison Because that would make Josh Hardin at what? Kurt Russell

No, don't even blasphemy Okay I get it Fair enough So that means Stan is Keith David Not David Keith

Right I meant to tell you guys Somebody said that on a podcast I had heard I think I heard that too Dude Keith David not David Keith Yes

I heard that man About two or three weeks ago Yeah I can't remember which one it was. I was like, hey, it's a lot of thing. You know what? We might have been listening to the same podcast or, I mean, fuck, bro, we know that. That's a conversation that might go on all out in the universe, man.

It's got an interesting reaction for a bunch of chemicaled up, no-dose. That seems to be really working on Casey. Mm-hmm. Oh, they high-fiving each other and everything. Drugs has brought everybody together Right We should definitely do it before we go kill these aliens guys You have to take it man

Showdown Nice it would Is she a bad guy We can't get a thing seen here Oh no Everybody's sold it up super quick There we go Didn't see that coming

I didn't either She's still hot Oh man You're gonna blow up the lab I question his lab From the lack of chemical reactions Yeah I know He just runs it through some water and boils it

Why was that taxi just waiting there It was the student driver car Oh Was it okay Yeah it was the teacher that used to get drunk Who's the queen? the football coach. While you guys are watching this movie,

on my other screen, I've got a new Cardi B show where she's doing gymnastics. The girl's got a body, man. She's doing gymnastics? She's definitely got a body. I guess it's probably... She paid for it. It's some kind of tie-in with the Olympics or something like that.

Yeah, she does look a bit on the plastic side for sure. See, now this is accurate. Hey, this is Lampas, Texas or Lamarck, Texas or whatever. You can tell this town shut down to go to the game. Yeah. More Pink Floyd. Fish. Well, how did they get the money to get a Pink Floyd song?

Oh, look at him. He's stuck in the other guy. Is he? I don't know. We'll put this thing on your ear. That's where the school budget wants. went to fireworks.

Yeah, I guess so, man. Oh, man, I'm looking forward to the new Jackass movie. Is that going to be streaming anywhere, Brian? That's theater. Okay. So you gotta... Hold on me got to... You gotta go to the theater to

check it as real time, huh? As much as I love those movies, I kind of wish some of them guys would stop. Really? Yeah, because I saw this interviewer against Johnny Knoxville got another concussion. filming the movie. Well, I mean, they know what they're signing up for. It's not like it should be a shock.

Yeah, but kind of like those guys. I mean, what are you going to do, man? You can't control his life, right? Yeah, this one's going to be weird, though, no ban on Jerry. Yeah, right. It looked like a lot of new people, huh? Yeah, they're mixing in new people.

with the original cast. Do you think anybody's going to actually see it? I don't think it's going to make any money. I'll see it, man. I'll like wait a few weeks. Still streaming somewhere. I guess I could have been my cool of the week. I'll re-watch the first movie.

Ah, nice. Okay. Yeah. Back when everybody was young. If you've done that, we wouldn't have the hat trick, though. Yeah. Well, Johnny Knoxville's not going to have to dress up to play grandpa before too long.

Yeah, no kidding. huh? She's super high too. Oh, the principal? Yeah. Do you guys have like any hot teachers when you were a kid? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I had one that actually was a sex ed teacher. And I'm not lying. She was pretty close to this principal right here. Yeah? Wow. And so you watch your get to put a condom on a banana or what?

Oh yeah. What trouble. Huh. Get any little better explanation than that. I don't quite get it. Can you help me? Snips this. Stabber in the eye like you did it earlier.

You can't get it now. Yeah, that'll prove she's an alien. Mm-hmm. Stabber and then we'll shoot her. Oh, yeah, that she did the trick, right? Oh, well, she was a human, but she's dead now. Oh, well. A little bit out of control, man.

The Elfman's done a lot of scores for movies. Oh, no shit, dude. Yeah, that... Batman and... Edward Sizzahans, Spider-Man. Yep, yep. Even like some TV shows, like Desperate Housewives and stuff like that. I guess she was an alien, okay.

That's gross. Well, they did good then. I was going to say she's still hot, but never mind. Not with all the bugs growing. out of her forehead, huh? Awl she there, didn't she? That's a mess. Why did she melt like the wicked witch?

Did we just change movies or what? We changed movies a few times. Mm-hmm. I need some scat. That's a stupid name. What's the gilless, man. So what do we do in next week? Don't Breathe to?

Don't breathe to the creepy blind rapist guys. supposedly a hero. I think I'm going to go do a commentary with Pete MC man this week for Don't Breathe the first one. That should be fun.

Nice to see it before watching the sequel, right? Can't wait to hear you guys' reaction with the turkey baster. Well, you know, I mean I'm probably sure that since I'm not doing anything else right now, I'll probably

have a couple of bowls of, you know, something green, I would imagine. When you guys get to the turkey buster, don't forget to mention the hair that was in there. Was there hair in it? Yeah. Oh, God. I was like, they put a little too much thought into that. Did they did that on purpose, or was that just like maybe a... Well, I hope it wasn't real.

That is kind of bizarre, man. But I think Don't Breathe 2 is going to be some twisty ternies in there Because I just don't see them making him a good guy Well, you wouldn't think so But I mean, they sure are going out of the way to make it look like he cares about this girl You know I'm gonna call it now I think that girl is the product of one of them girls

He tried to get a good Oh, no! Oh yeah, y'all. Oh, wow. Ouch! Ouch! That's very possible now that you mention it. So he's daddy, huh? That's when it gets weird. Oh, boy. Well, could there be a redemption arc for this character? Or no way.

Eh. So much better. Turkey baster. So if Stan's an alien now, is he still stupid? It looks that way, doesn't it? All I know is he works hard for the D. And do you think D?

Do you think if Zeeke became an alien, he would calm his hair? That's how he'd know the difference. Best actor goes to Stan for running away. The football star. Man, for a Robert

Rodriguez movie, there is a serious lack of action and gore in this movie. Yeah. You know? Like, originality. It just not seem like, like, did they just say, hey,

dude, we got a movie, here's a million bucks. Do you want to do it? I don't know. This movie costs 15 million. It doesn't feel very Robert Rodriguez-ish. Yeah. It's like somebody else directed it,

and they just slapped his name on it to sell some tickets. Let's see. He did from Dust Till Dawn before this one. Which was brilliant. And then he did Spy Kids after this.

Which was a fucking fiasco. Okay. I see where you're going here. Now you got the Jeepers, creepers, uh, two feel to it. Is that the creeper? Which one?

Monster, the director. Yeah, exactly. I think there's so much. throw boy yeah I guess that new Jeepers creepers movies they filmed it yeah but he has

nothing to do with it right yeah that was like the big argument because I guess people were boycotting it but then they found out that he they completely cut him out which makes perfect sense yeah it's it's very odd the convicted

pedophile gets to make a billion dollar movies still yeah well Ned, Nez went to see the third movie at the theater. I don't think he was super impressed from his review. I was, the movie was trash.

Well, I don't know, man. If I could either be raped by Jordana Breester or raped by Victor Salva, I think I'd take Jordana. Or this teacher. Or Pamke. Oh, yeah. Where is she from? Is she?

Fomke Johnson, it's a sound like she's her from somewhere up in Norway. Oh, baby, Lars from Denmark knows her. I don't know. That's the worst accent ever. Lars is going to get me. Famke is from the Netherlands. There you go. All right, so she's Dutch.

Legal weed, man. They were on it way before we were. She's 57. Huh. She still looks the same, too. I think she still looks hot. I haven't seen her in anything in the last couple of years, but let's see.

So wasn't she in like that vampire TV show? She was Jean Grey, right? Yep, Jean Grey X-Man. Damn. Honestly, I don't know what she's been in the last five years or so. Okay, now we're getting in this action. Buckle up for safety. That doesn't even look like, that doesn't look like CGI.

That looks like a real explosion, right? That was a little excessive for running a car into a bus. I like that scene in Suicide Squad. Pete Davis was getting help with a seatbelt. He buckled it in and he was like, now you're safe. It's going to be one of those like, what was it, Army of the Dead? came out on HBO earlier this year. Oh, they've got the sequel or prequel coming out next month, right?

Yeah, it's mostly about the Safecracker guy. That should be cool, man. I love those little heist movies. And what's the names in it? It's like the thing, except it's not a spider, it's an octopus. Yeah, it's very, borrowing very heavily from the thing. Speaking of Army of the Dead, do you guys, you guys ever watch that Apple TV plus show, C? With Aquaman?

Oh, Mamoa. I haven't seen it. Yeah, I guess Batista's the villain in season two. What? Because I've just seen the poster for it, and they're, like, on the poster, like, going at each other, staring each other down. Interesting. I might check that out then. Yeah, I've only seen a couple of...

He seems like he's... Yeah, I guess he's after the next Guardians movie. That's it for him. For acting? Or for playing drags. Oh, I got you. Yeah, I'm...

We got into Ted Lasso a couple of nights ago. Have you ever seen any of that one? No, but I want to. I like Jason Sadeke. Pretty good, man. Yeah, it's pretty good. Very lighthearted and don't take it too seriously. I'll just put it that way.

but it's speaking of this movie being kind of a rip-off of the thing it's definitely a little bit of a rip-off of Major League I mean like big time like a female owner

wanting the team to fail basically so yeah it's good but they borrowed very heavily from Major League I think the new girls are alien you think so possibly what is the fuck is she the queen

because none of the other ones did that yeah where's Ripley when you need her huh you're taking her right into the water that sounds like a great idea there's the slow motion ouch I look very painful yeah yeah what the fuck are he going to do about it

you can't even stay standing up for more than 10 seconds Try some hobbit magic, I guess. I don't know. She's still alive. There's a chance. There's a chance. That's worse than a shark. Whatever happened to her mouth seemed to have healed.

Are you serious? How did it drag her underwater and not kill her? Yeah, I know, man. Come on. Now it's the size of the fucking swimming pool. Right. Huh. Oh, that's weird.

I wouldn't call it weird right about now. Maybe we finally get that, uh, top of the scene. Now, was this PG-13 or R? Do you all know? I would say 13. Yeah, I'm a little mad right now. With the use of the word dingus. Yeah. Jesus.

I forgot about him. So what do we have coming up next, next one? week, Brian. It's don't breathe two and panic rooms. Okay. Boobbies, Lance. Yeah, but look how dark

it is. Where are her nipples? It's kind of like we're still in PG-13 territory. Covered up my pasties. I feel like that's not her body. Philip, you remember that time we went to Austin and hung out? We went to that

titty bar there. The yellow rose or whatever it was called. I was about to say, I hope the story has something to do with pasties. Oh, it does. Because they were all wearing pasties, man. Is that what they were in Texas? I think so. Not normally.

Philip, do you remember? I don't remember I'm wearing pasties. I'm sure there was a couple of them, though. I might have been like super, super, super drunk by the time we got. Seattle's got some horrible. not horrible rules. I want to say horrible, but you have to be like five feet away from the stage.

Okay. Well, that's, you know, social distancing, right? No, this was like five, ten years ago. So it's still going on, huh? I think in Seattle it's illegal to you can't go up and put a dollar in their G-string or whatever. Really? It's dumb.

That you do whatever you wanted to in Seattle, shit. Yeah, that makes no sense, man. How do they get paid? You throw the money out of them from a distance. Jesus Christ, you make paper airplanes out of the dollar bills, huh? Take your money, whore. Yeah, that might be the dumbest thing I've ever heard of. I don't know, but there was a different one I went to.

where they had like a shower room and I made my own pasties for the young lady with some dollars. Brian, that's called a whorehouse. That wasn't going on. So there is a place when you're driving into Galveston, Philip. Yeah, I've never actually been to that one. I have many times. I had my bachelor party there. It's full nude, dude. It's, you bring your, you have to

B-Y-O-B, right? You can't buy alcohol there. You have to bring up to eat some beer. I've been the one in Houston. I think it was called Harlem Knights where you bring your own bottle. Yes, sir. Nice.

Same there. Yep, same concept. Same concept, man. So, we had a buddy named Cameron that was with us. I went with my friend Peter and Pat Lear. You guys all know Pat Lear.

Yeah, I met him. Yeah. We were all, we were there my bachelor party. And this fucking asshole, Cameron, gets into a car with one of the strippers. And she's like, oh, it's okay. I'll drive you home.

We get a phone call like eight hours later. Galveston County Jail. We have a guy here named Cameron. He gave us your phone number, said, uh, you all need to come pay his bail and get him out. Apparently this, uh, this stripper like literally dropped him off

on the side of the road somewhere in the middle of nowhere. Really? Yeah. He should be an asshole, man. But you know, he's one of those guys where you say couldn't happen to a nicer guy. Yeah. But I feel a little jealous, or not jealous, I feel a little bad talking about him

because he did die of a drug overdose about life. He was a kid. So, speaking no other dead, man. Listeners, you can tell how disinterested we are in this movie. We're telling strip club stories. Hey, but there's a topless chick on the screen. I don't think that's her body. All right.

When they show her full body. Right. Oh, get the fuck out of here. He's not out of no alien. I got that impression, too, Brian. It's not like real tities, is it? I think they put her head on a different person's body because it looks like CG, kind of. Yeah, yeah.

Like late 90s, CG. it to boot, right? Look, Casey's not falling down all of a sudden. I know, now he can climb through. Well, there he goes. There he goes. Oh, those things are so dangerous. That can't be a thing.

We had those in my high school. Really? They were fucking dangerous. It closed up automatically? No, you're supposed to push a button. Oh. All right. Are we going to rate this movie, guys, or just move on to the...

I give you mine now. I remember this movie being a good solid seven, seven and a half. That's good. That's good, man. This is more like a four or five now. How many Garrett Collins is it, man? Oh, that looked fucking painful. It's not horrible, but it's definitely a Garrett Collins.

What about you, Phil? Yeah, we'll go five and a half. for the star power and the hotness. Did they wait till now to do all the practicals? Looks that way. But like,

man, that's a shitty alien. Like, he could have made that thing look way scarier. Yeah. It's just a big bug. Oh, shame on you,

Robert, Rodriguez, shame on you. God damn. From dust till dawn to this, really? Oh, he did to give us machete. Well,

That's a masterpiece, man. But you want to talk about CGI. There's so much CGI blood and firing that movie, man. It's almost like a cartoon. I'm convinced it's got to be so cheap. So just do everything CGI now. Right? Yeah, that's the only answer.

But then again, if you look at something like Psycho-Gorman, they didn't spend a whole lot of money on that movie. No, no, but they knew what they were doing, man. Yeah, and they had people to do practical effects that could do it on the chief, you know? Mm-hmm. Like Stan Winston, where are you these days, my buddy, right? Uh-oh. Now, here's the final showdown.

Ah, I forgot he was still here. So who's the alien? Is it David Keith or Keith David? The blonde chick. His fucking hair is still the same. One month later. Aye, aye, aye. The coach is still around?

I thought he was alien. He was, uh... Oh, look, now he's on the football field. Yeah, now, see, now they want to correct it at the end. Yeah. Still fucking... How is his hair still like that after taking up the helmet? Usher is probably, uh...

Usher's right in front of a shoulder walking. He's probably wearing, like, high heels or something behind us. He'd look taller. Oh, yeah. teacher's head off. You don't see the thing around her neck? Oh, wow. That's real healthy, man. Smoke cigarettes while

you're the starting quarterback. That makes a lot of sense. Stan, you're stupid and you don't play football now. She's not a emo gosh chick anymore. Ah, okay. I don't know how through the casting process

you looked at this guy and went stark quarterback. I don't know, man. I think it's the quarterback that bothers. Should have had a tattoo that said no rag rats, right? How does it feel to be a hero? He was kind of tingly. Oh, God.

He's kind of combed his hair, too. Oh, she has a big ass head. Does she? No, Elijah. No. It's like twice the size of hers. Oh, maybe Elijah should team up with her again to be the next Fast and Furious movie. Well, you know, I heard a famous person head, right?

Right? Like the giant dome. Yeah. Figure the head, the more famous. Yeah. Like I saw something with the, God damn it. for machete. What's his name? Ah, Danny Trejo.

Yeah. I saw something with him in it the other day, and the only thing I can ever think of is how unbelievably short that guy is, and he's got a huge Yeah. Yeah, now he's closer to my hide, actually. No, he's way shorter than that, for sure. Well, he's like

borderline little person territory, I think. Have you guys watched his documentary yet? I don't think he got fucked with in prison. I really want to see that, dude. Yeah, he definitely, nobody was fucking with him. No. Yeah. Well, you know. And he, he went to prison when he was super young. Right.

But yeah, they use all these camera angles and stuff. So every time they film him, they're shooting him from up underneath. And then they'll, like, film the other person. It makes sense. Kind of like Tom Cruise. Yeah. Right. That does make sense.

All right. Well, Brian. I guess school is officially back in session, man. So thanks for picking the movie, dude. Any last words, guys, about this one? I mean, we gave our scores and everything, right? Disappointed Robert Rodriguez. Yeah, it's a good young cast.

But you can tell this heavily borrowed from a lot of movies. Yeah. And a lot of the CG does not hold up. Yeah. but it is it is one of those 90s movies that I think it's of the time and if you like if you like that era of horror science fiction and check it out

yeah it's not it's not awful if you've never seen it might be worth to watch but if you're going back for rewatch and you really have fond memories probably don't yeah stick to the memories you had. Yeah.

So do we have a guest next week, guys? I do not believe so. All right. Well, hopefully Nes will be back. So as always, we want to thank you guys for listening to another episode The Horror Returns. We would love

to hear your feedback and ideas. You can always reach us at thehorror returns at gmail.com. Eventually, we're going to have a website. I'm going to say within the next month, Phillip, what do you think? I don't do what I can, man.

That didn't sound very promising. I'm supposed to be off today. I still got fucking people calling me left and right. What are you going to do? All right, well, next week we're going to check out Don't Breathe 2 and also 2002's panic room. So, Brian, until the horror returns again.

Hold on. Got to plug the actual turns. Yeah, there we go. And stream things. You can follow us. on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter. We are still trying to get episodes out. We got a lot of stuff going on, but definitely,

Suicide Squad's definitely on the agenda. So I have a full breakdown of that. Still got to do the nobody movie. And, yeah. I haven't come out of that yet, huh? No, we got a lot of things going on. I mean, fucking Kevin's been literally fighting fucking forest fires, dude.

And you can also go check out the East Society anchor feed for videos, or not videos, new episodes. Speaking of videos, check out East Society's YouTube channel. Oh, cool, man. We need to take a page out of Nez's book, Philip.

There it is. We'll do it. Sad to plug those real quick. So does that mean it's time to say those final two words? Good.