The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #279: The Year In Horror 1987, Part 1: The Witches Of Eastwick & Near Dark

Episode Date: September 27, 2021

This week, we go back to 1987 to check out The Witches of Eastwick and Near Dark. Cool of the week includes Midsommar, The Dallas Cowboys, and American Horror Stories. Trailers this week are Stranger Things 4, V/H/S94, and Army of Thieves. We shine the podcast spotlight on Dark Night of the Podcast, and we give a special shoutout to Sarah of Horror! Thanks for listening!

Greetings, victims, for those of you who delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify goal, welcome. You have found the place where the horror returns. Listeners beware. This podcast contains major plot spoilers in the foulest of the world. language join us in celebrating the old and the new the best and the worst in horror all to the horror returns i'm lance wait no that's not right lax lance is out in the middle of nowhere right now and not getting great reception he's here obviously but uh it could be interesting just in case uh and of course brian uh uh

How are you guys doing today? Doing good. Awesome. I'm doing real good, man. My mom's been working me to death out here at the house. Building all kinds of shit, mowing the whole yard. And Phillip, you've seen this yard. This is a big yard.

Yeah, I got my steps in, guys. Writing lawn mower, bro. I bought one. It is a game changer. I know. I need to get one. I definitely need to get one for our house. She's moving to new.

Mexico, which is why I'm helping her get all this shit together. So maybe you should get one up there. Oh, and she's going to have five acres up there. You boys like Mexico? All right. Well, so what's the coolest thing you got going this week, Lance, seemed to be a little out of pocket at the moment. Can you guys hear me? Yeah, yeah.

All right. Michael of the week is a couple of movies that I watched for a podcast I'm going to guest on later this week. Tomorrow, in fact. So that should be bad reception too. Our friends Kate and Matt over at Eternal Sunshine of Not So Spotless Minds. Oh, yeah. So they let me. Well, maybe I'll try to pick up on it too and join you.

We'll see. Please do. Yeah, yeah. Please do. They're wanting as many of us as can make it. All right. We'll be recording at noon tomorrow. I know the Saints are playing then, so I'll be in and out of the house.

And the Cowboys playing then? Ooh, I don't know. I've got to check Cowboys time. Okay. We'll make it work, but we're doing American Werewolf in London. Classic. Yeah. Get it.

Because, you know, we're from America and, you know. So you're the Werewolf? So I'm the Werewolf. And they let me pick the other one. So not Clock Quark Orange, not Mother. So what movie do you think? think it was, Brian. Cats.

Escape room tournament of champions. You're very close, dude. Mid-Sumar. Mid-Somar. Good call. Another good one. Yeah. That's my school of the week.

Cowboys play at night, so I'm able to make that. That would be great. Although I'm doing yard work tomorrow. So, well, we'll go with the coolest thing that I've seen this week, which is not a goddamn thing except cowboys. That's really all I got, man.

Work and sports and that's all that's going on in my life right now. Well, they look very competitive this year. Well, they did against the Chargers and they did against the bucks. And I'm just a little bit afraid to say anything because the second I'm like, yeah, fuck yeah, we're going to go stomp everybody. They're going to come out and shit's bad. against the horrible thing that the cowboys do what did I watch

I had like a triple feature female led action movies this week I'm glad you went with action yes was one of them Kate yes oh what did you think

I didn't hate it I think the only drawback I felt was I think it was a little too long because it was almost two hours and I think it could have been like around an hour and a half but yeah she's uh what is her name Mary Elizabeth Winstead she's uh turning into a nice little action star because she had this she had this in the Harley Quinn movie she was in oh that's right yeah she was good in that one too I liked her yeah not bad um what else does I see

a triple feature gunpowder milkshake I still haven't watched that yet isn't any good a little disappointed yeah yeah I was too so I was waiting to hear you say it

yeah it had some good action scenes in it but I kind of wanted more with the I guess the I don't want to call them old but the older I guess I have to the older women assassins

from the library you're fucking fired the night the the 1970s uh now what would you call them because every one of them's odd right but uh like you say

a little little older than yeah you had uh you had Michelle Yao Angela Bassett uh Carla Gagino and you only got them probably a total of maybe 15 20 minutes in the movie seriously yeah yeah that was

disappointing why would you have a cast like that and not use it I don't know I would have made it I would have had them guns blazing throughout the whole movie but my movie probably would have had less

on the story and more on the action yeah yeah see and that's my concern with Kate like the action was cool but like I thought it was going to be I don't know

you know how some of those really quirky cool action movies have things that are like gonna make it a classic Yeah, sure. I felt like there weren't really any of those moments in Kate, and I sort of expected them to be there. I just didn't meet my expectations.

Yeah, like I said, I liked it, but it could have been great. Right, yeah, it was so close to being great. It was good, but it could have been great. And then I checked out Amazon Prime's jolt, starred Kate Becassell. Well, I saw that one, too. I liked it. I like it. I like it.

But. Again, I thought this one ran a little too long also. I think all three of these movies were almost two hours. Gunpowder milkshake might have been over two hours, man. Yeah, I felt it. But I like the premise of jolt. She has like this condition that she basically is a compulsion, like she gets angry and is going to beat the shit out of you. And she can't help it.

So she has to wear this vest. That when the compulsion happens, she, like, jolts herself. Like a shock collar. Yeah. That's kind of funny. It is. Yeah, they kind of play off. I know there's some jokes in there, and I'm this close to them.

I just can't rattle them off. Yeah, they kind of play some of the scenes for laughs. You know, I mean, you can't take it too seriously. But she's another one that kicks a lot of ass. You know, of course, people know her from Underworld. as whatever her name was in the movie. I can't think of it right now. Yeah, her.

Kate Beck and Sale in leather. That's who she was in the movie. You don't really know anything else. Very, very pale leather, vampire teeth. That was her character. And I finished off American Horror Stories, the one where each episode is on Story. Yeah, I've only watched the,

couple, which were one story. Yeah. Really weird, right? Yeah, I was entertained throughout. I know I got greenlit for a second season, so I'm looking forward to the second season. I like that format better. Yeah. I'm actually, I'm still liking, what is it?

It's double feature, the new season? Oh, I'm loving that one. Yeah, which I think we're at this part in the season. I think it's about to go to the other story now. Yeah, because I think the next step. episode is called Take Me to Your Leader. Yeah, which is, Phil, I'm going to have to do aliens and shit.

Aliens? Yeah, I got your attention. Told. Is that it? Yeah, that's all I watched. I'm kind of saving all my horror shit for next month. All right, so what was the,

what was your favorite, man? I think I'm going to go with the American Horror Stories. Cool. There was quite a few episodes in there that I enjoyed. I think the worst one I didn't really care for was the one with Princess Leia's daughter. It's a name. Yeah, I'm not sure if I can get into her. She just seems kind of one note.

Yeah, she was one note throughout the episode she was in. Great. Well, the new Sarah Paulson, huh? Yeah, but Sarah Paulson is great in the new season. Yeah, she's good actress. Yeah. She just plays a bitch and a half every time. Karen.

Yeah. She plays a Karen. She's a great Karen. She was good in... You're right, Brian. She was good in... What was that series she just did? Where she was the nurse.

Oh, Ratchet. Yeah, she was good at that. Okay. Yeah, I think she's got some acting chops. I'm not sure that Princess Leia's daughter does. I can't. Is it Billy Lord? That sounds right.

But she's there because of the name, you know? Yeah. She's in the new season of American Horror Story, too. But she's not like a main character. Yeah. And I'm sure she's an awesome person. Just maybe she'll get there. Give it time.

Yeah. That's my cool. week. All right. Well, we burn through that one. Let's roll on to horror headlines. What are we pushing back? Nothing right now.

Thank God. As far as I see nothing. But I think we're kind of at the point where I don't think anything's going to get pushed back. I think it's just going to get dropped on some streaming platform. Yeah. Unless it's like a major blockbuster. And it may be, you know,

we have to change the way that we think about movies or something, but man, this shit ain't going away anytime soon. Yeah. Yeah, I think my state is in the top three. Oh, that's right. I heard about that. It's just guard completely sideways up here. Yeah.

Our hospitals are at capacity. The governor's declared crisis in our hospitals because we don't have enough care for everybody. You know, I hear a lot of that is because of staffing shortage. Yeah, well, I guess they're flying like 500 out-of-state healthcare workers up here. Yeah. Wow. There's a shortage of everything right now.

I didn't know y'all had 500 people in Alaska. We got many people in Alaska, Lance. We can take over the United States. That's funny. news news i'm going to mess up this guy's name piloo asbeck he was um oh yeah he the theon grayjoy's uncle in amethon oh that dude's badass yeah yeah the the the the the the seafaring old guy no the the the younger brother oh the one that tried to take over the asshole yeah yes yes he's joining the

cast of the James one produced. I got to say that. Salem's Lot. So the Salem's Lot, so far, looks like it's going to have a great cast. And I hope it's good. Do we need another Salem's Lot, though? I mean,

come on. Well, if you're going to rehash a story, why not? I guess. Yeah. That's kind of what everything is that comes out right now. It's just a twist another story that came before it. I don't know if I really have any news.

It's just been kind of a slow week. This show's going to go quick. Let's see. Adam Wingard says his death note sequel will address all fan criticism. What? Why are you? Who pushed that project through? I don't know.

What are you doing? Adam Wingard, man, we love you. Stop. I think we need to rewatch the anime series now, Brian. Hell no. I think you need to have an intervention for Adam Wingard. Let's see. Let the Right One In has officially been ordered to series by Showtime.

You talked about that five years ago, man. Yeah, I guess they shot the pilot. I'm assuming they shot the pilot and was pleased with what they have. Is it like a continuation or is it just rehashing the same? Sorry. Retelling. not to keep the same fucking drum that we do every week. Come on, Phil.

What are you expecting? Yeah, that's about what I was expecting. Kevin Bacon joins the cast of Blumhouse's upcoming LGBTQ plus horror movie, which is untitled at this time. That could mean almost anything. I was going to say, I don't even know what that means. I don't even know where to go with that one. You know what?

I'm not stepping on those landmines. No. Bacon needs to go back to tremors, though, right? We need that tremor series. That trailer he put out looked fucking amazing. I don't understand why nobody's picked it up. It must cost way too much. If we're going to do something that's rehashed with Kevin Bacon, let's trimmers.

You know what? Those LGBT people? in there too. I mean, you know, probably not the tremor itself, but whatever. Right. Well, you never know. You never know. We don't judge. Hey, whatever it is, maybe it's in nature. Is that it? Yeah, I think that's it. All right. I think that's why I went a little heavy with the trailers today, because news is very... That's cool. And I imagine we'll have a lot to talk about about these movies. movies.

God, because this is first watch for me on both of them. Oh, nice. Nice. Nice. I'd never even heard of near dark. So we'll move on to trailer park. Let's take a trip down to the trailer park where we bring you the big, the small, and sometimes the very, very weird. What's our first trailer this week, Brian?

I think we are going to talk about, let me pull up my list, sorry. Uh, let's go with Stranger Things Season 4 teaser. What did you guys think? Are you guys kind of done with Stranger Things because of the way? Or? Again, man, I was just going to say it. You took the words out of my mouth. I'm a little Stranger Things out at this point, man. Um, although this looks like it's definitely ripping off the haunting of Hillhouse and, uh, American Horror Story season one, big time.

Yeah. Yeah. But you know what? with those characters, they're pretty good. And maybe that's part of the weight, is that I'm not really stranger things out, you know? Like, we haven't seen it forever. And so it'll be nice to see those kids pretty much grown up at this point. Well, they did a smart thing with what we're going to see because I guess there's going to be a time jump.

Okay. So I think this takes place with them in high school. Yeah, the next season, we're going to have to deal with them going to college and getting married and having kids. This little scene, little teaser here is called the Victor Creel House, and I guess he's being played by Robert England. Why do all the haunted houses look exactly the same? Let me read this here. horror icon Robert England is playing Victor Creel in season four, a disturbed man who is in prison in a psychiatric hospital

for a gruesome murder in the 1950s. So I'm assuming the clip we've seen was the guy was probably playing a younger version of Robert England. Yeah, that makes sense. England himself doesn't appear in a new footage, but it does seem to spot like the character at a younger, you know, like I said, a younger age all suggests season four, Strangin Things is going to unlock unique new horrors. Keep it going forever, huh?

Unique is a strange word there. That place has got to ride that horse till it falls down, huh? There you go. Well, I heard they have an end game for this. I think it's going to, from what I read somewhere, I think after this one more season. Okay.

So I think they do have where it's going to end. But we'll see. this could be the most popular season ever and they'll green lighted for five more seasons. Yeah, that's true. Like they've done with American Horror Story already. That'll never stop. I mean, plus they skip three or four years in between,

so by the time the next one comes around, could be a totally different thing. No release date still. It just says 2022. I'm excited to watch them though Like Oh we all are Yeah that

The funny kid with the teeth Fuck is his name Uh shit My daughter would be yelling at me right now But you know I'm talking about Yeah That guy

Yeah Like I like him a lot I'm kind of amazed That he hasn't been in more stuff And I'm excited Basically to see him And you know The whole crew back together

Fuck is his name maybe maybe david harbor will show up as a ghost yeah all right what is that kid's name how many fucking people are yelling at us when are we going to have those t-shirts i for some reason can't remember any of the kids's names oh i remember lucas

jesus christ save book of jeopardy god damn it the redhead girl is max and of course 11 i can't remember or can't forget 11. Okay. Dustin. She's like 27. There you go.

Dustin. Yeah, right. I had to get the old wheels turning. All right. Moving on to our next trailer. This is the next installment in the VHS series, VHS 94. We're going to have segments from David Bruckner, Simon Barrett, Timo, Tejanto. said that wrong.

Chloe Okuno and Jennifer Reeder. And also Ryan Prows, Lance Ryan he worked on low life. I love that movie, man. It was a

short little trailer, but what did you guys think? Man, I'm more excited about this one than I have been any of the others. Really? Yeah, I think so. They say that a lot. Yeah.

Well, and it's normally, you know, I'm not going to be like chomping at the bit to watch it. I'll have to watch this fucking movie. But like it's, it looks like it's worth to watch. Yeah. Yeah. Looks very haunted housey. Yeah, I had a better appreciation for, I love the first one and parts of the second one. But you can go over to the Skaternez podcast network and here are 31 days of horse.

where we did all three BHS movies. I have a better appreciation for them, and I'm looking forward to this one. Got a lot of good, young, some of them unknown directors here. Give us hopefully something that we haven't really seen before. And I'm really looking forward to Timo Sejanto. He did that cult one, Lance. Oh, not the, not.

not the one that we had to watch with the you're thinking of the Japanese movie that we were forced to watch by Matt? No, he did the Samurai police or whatever. No, he did the VHS segment with the cult, the death cult. That was probably

one of the best segments of the entire series, I thought. Yeah, he's done a lot of good stuff. May the devil take you, the night comes for us. Oh, okay. The night comes for us in Headshot are fucking fantastic, violent action movies. And they're all on Netflix. Yeah.

Looks like they got some talent. I mean, how bad could it be? They're like 10-minute little segments. It could be the worst thing we've ever seen. I'm looking forward to it. I've enjoyed every single VHS, even the ones that people like to shit on, like the little kid with a magic cape or whatever. every head. Ah, yeah, that was kind of goofy.

I liked all of them, though, man. And like you said, you only got to sit there like a 10, 15 minute movie each time, right? Yeah. Yeah, they're not long, so. Yeah. Well, and I like the, like, the, there was like a, almost a video game scene in there where it looked like a shooter. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. And, like, taking out the bad guys or what, I like, that one looks like it's interesting. I'm surprised they haven't done more movies like that. There was, there was that one where they did the whole fucking movie. movie that way. And first person, I can't remember the name of it. Well, there was the Maniac remake, but you're talking about more of like the shoot-em-up. Yeah, no, it was straight up video game style. It was a really cool movie. I liked it. Hardcore Harry.

There you go. That was a cool movie, man. And this sort of looks like that. Well, at least that one particular story does. Yeah, that'll probably be the coolest story. You guys remember the black, what is, Black Mirror episode? I was going to say Black Mirror episode with Kurt Russell's son, where he did the video game one. Yes. I always liked that episode. Yeah.

Boy, the further we go, the more Black Mirror we get. Oh, yeah. Too real. VHS 94 will be here just in time for Christmas. I was the Christmas season. Got me thinking of Black Christmas. now. God damn.

October 6, VHS 94. Is Imogen Poots in it? I hope so. She's cute. As she is. She's cool. I like her. It's going to, we're going to have to start calling that the movie that shall not be named.

Is it Emojin or Imogen? I have no idea. I think Imogen. That's the way I say it. Definitely, no last name's Poots. Yeah, definitely poots. Definitely poots. It's an unfortunate name, but it's grown on me. All right. Now to our final trailer, which is a prequel to Zach Snyder's zombie movie Army of the Dead.

This is Army of Thieves. And looks like it has nothing to do with zombies at all. Yes. This star is Natalie Emmanuel. Oh, another Game of Thorn star. Oh, yes. Oh. Oh, that's who that is. Oh, yeah.

Ruby O'Fee, Stuart Martin, Gus Khan, Jonathan Cohen, and Naomi Nakai. Alongside, I'm going to buck his name of. Matthias, the guy that I'm not going to even try your last night. Yeah, that guy. What did you guys think of Army of Thieves? and do you care about a prequel with no zombies in it? I mean, for me, this is another one where it's, I'm glad it's coming to Netflix,

because I don't know that I would, I don't know that I'd jump to go watch this in the theater unless it, you know, had a whole lot of buzz behind it. But on Netflix, I'll check it out. I mean, it looks interesting. That was my favorite character in Army of the Dead. so yeah why not yeah I like this character too

and I like a good heist movie bank robbery movie you know and that's his forte is crackin safe so I don't know it's just being listed as action and romance comedy huh

okay why not it's an action romcom Well, and I think maybe it was a cool move to not make it so obvious that it's a prequel to Army of the Dead. Because they don't really mention it at all. You'd have to go, hey, wait a minute, isn't that that guy? Is this the same fucking movie? What are we doing here?

Well, there is going to be a prequel to the Army of the Dead called Army of the Dead Los Vegas. Yeah. So that's still coming, but. Well, and it looks like there was maybe some kind of zombie shit happening. Like maybe in the background of this movie. Like maybe the very beginning of it. Man, I kept looking for that. I couldn't see that.

Maybe they didn't want to focus on that. Yeah. Obviously, it's not focused on it. Yeah, because this is a different story. So maybe it'll be there, but not as prominent as, Army of the Dead. So. Well, I watch it. Yep. Netflix.

When is it coming out? When the fuck are you coming out? October 29th on Netflix. And I will be... Go ahead. I'll be looking forward to it. It seems like an odd choice, you know, for Army of the Dead tie-in movie, for sure.

Especially if I'm out like on Halloween. Yeah, it's like something's got to pop up in it, right, that we're not expecting. that they're obviously keeping out of the trailer, I would think. Yeah. But it looks good. It looks like it's beautifully filmed. I don't know how they were able to go film and all those different European cities with COVID,

unless it was all just like C2I cities or. They went to Canada. Did they go to Canada? I don't know. They always go to Canada or. Oh, they speak French in Canada. Fuck. Okay.

Or they do like the Marvel movies because they're all filmed in. Atlanta, Georgia. That would make sense. That wasn't Wakanda. It was Atlanta. Movie magic. I had some serious movie magic. I don't know the last time I saw, like, deep jungles in Atlanta.

For sure, Black Panther was filmed in a fucking green screen. Yeah. You got, you got that Disney money. Right. Speaking, hey, speaking of green screen. I want to see a TIG Nataro prequel for this series with her doing the helicopters and everything.

That's what I want for my money. Oh, yeah. I mean, you never know if this one is as popular as Army of the Dead. You know, they can spin off with, you know, there was a lot of different characters in there. Well, and it'll be interesting to see because it seems like Zach Snyder had a plan

for Justice League and stuff. and just didn't really get to follow it through. Right. So they just didn't allow him to or? Yeah. For whatever. Well, yeah. They definitely allowed.

Yeah, the Snyder cut was basically his swan song. Right. But I think he had a plan for more shit even after that. So we'll see if he can put together the same big plan to do something with this one. You know what I mean? Like maybe there's a couple other movies you must to do in the universe. and then bring them all together. That would be cool.

It's definitely, definitely, no. Can you guys hear me? AJ's calling on the same cell phone here. I lost my, I lost my train of thought, the wife called. But yeah, no, I'd like to see, like, all the characters get their story and have him expand the universe, especially if he's not doing any DC anymore. Yeah. As far as I'm concerned,

Army of the Dead was like better than 80% of the DC movies out there anyway. Yeah, that's not saying a lot. Definitely better than Wonder Woman 84. All right. That was the final trailer.

All right. On to listener feedback. This week, the podcast spotlight shines on Dark Night of the podcast. A new episode out now. Troy and Roger put on their pineapple dress ensembles. Okay. To head to psychology class and discuss the 1986 slasher flick sorority house massacre.

Oh, okay. Join the guys as they chat. Highly ineffective knife raises a second week of shoehorned in boobs. Do we have problem with that? Awkwardly placed lime jello dialogue. and a magical second story window jump and our friend Roger Conner says thanks for sharing

anytime any time man anytime and we also want to give a very special shout out to Sarah of horror she says I am Sarah of horror filmmaker and actor most known for rotten love mimes and sargod

wounded I am also a horror review viewer and I only review horror movies from my own collection. I have a physical copy of the film and I'm going to review it. That's cool. Yeah. Yeah, very cool setup. Upcoming movie projects are Create Your Own Killer Again and Attack of the Bee Film,

a comedy series, of course. That's great. I can't wait. Is it YouTube or is it audio or does she do both? I think she's you too, aren't we? We got to get on YouTube somehow, guys. Yeah, that's the only way to make a B-film. You've got to have some comedy in there.

Yes. You can find my latest horror comedy, Create Your Killer, here on my channel. So definitely check that one out, Sarah of Horror. And the host, Sarah, I'm sorry, I can't say your last name, Gerski. Also gives us a really big thank you. So shout out to Sarah from the Horror Returns. All right.

That's it for listener feedback this week. Our intro comes from Steve Carlton of the League of Geeks with Z. Our artwork comes from Natsulani. So check her out on Instagram. And if you'd like to help the show, please consider becoming a Patreon patron. We'll let you pick the movies for a future show at any amount. And for $5 or more month, also pick a commentary for a future bonus show. And if you have a chance, please give us an Apple podcast five-star review.

And you may win some cool shit. True. There it is. On two featured attractions. So this week we're going to go back to 1987 and talk about the Witches of Eastwick, which somehow I've never seen, as well as near dark, which I've never heard of until now. What? I know, right? Believe, man.

It really is because I watched it and I will, well, we'll get to it. That's like a cult classic, man. It seems like it should be. And I was like, how have I never seen this movie? Okay, so we'll start with the Witches of East Week though. Three single women in a picturesque village have their wishes granted. I don't know if it was a village more small city, but you know. This wasn't the prisoner, huh?

Yeah. At a cost when a mysterious and flamboyant man arrives in their lives, Jack Nicholson. Director is George Miller, also known for Mad Max and Happy Feet. All right. That guy is very versatile. Yeah. Great movies, both of them. Writer is Michael Christopher, based on the novel by John Updike. What's Updike? Among other things, John Updike has written the Rabbit Run series.

The Rabbit Run series, I don't know what that is, and the Centaur. According to George Miller, producer John Peters suddenly decided he wanted aliens to appear in the movie. Sounds like Philip. You don't make this show greater? Aliens. even though it didn't make sense with the story Miller thinks that Peters was influenced by the box office success of aliens and he even showed up one day on set with a stunt man dressed as an alien

and told Miller to put him in a scene, any scene. You're making this shit up, dude. Come on. Miller and Jack Nicholson then left the set until Peters gave up on his fix. You see fucking studio interference. That says a lot.

Aliens, it doesn't make sense, but stick it in there somewhere. A life-size animatronic puppet was made of Veronica Cartwright for the cherry pit vomiting scene, really?

It gathered a lot of attention on set because it could realistically thrash about convulsively and spew out massive amounts of vomit. Wow! Man, we need that for our yard this Halloween. I can do that. However,

preview audiences found the secrets too disgusting, and all of the shots involving the puppet were cut out of the... That makes me sad. Oh, no. Man, I'd love to get a director's cut of that. I know, right? Where's the fucking cherry pit vomit robot cut? Oh, shit.

It's got to be a... there somewhere, right? All right, Lance, what did you think of the witches of Eastwick? I've seen this movie several times. Like when it first came out, I saw it. I think I saw it at the theater. And then I've seen it a couple of times since then. But I don't know, man, it's kind of like now that I'm a little bit older.

And, you know, especially now that I have daughters, granddaughters, stuff like that. You know, women in my life that are, they're employ. to me. I don't know. I kind of think of male and female roles a little bit differently than I used to. Yeah. Matured a little. Yeah, this movie, this movie has a lot to say. I mean, it's, oh man, it's kind of like right off the bat, when you start unboxing it, you think, okay, this is just going to be kind of like your typical, well, first of all, it was kind of like a New England village, and then you had the one character that she was kind of like the town Karen type, or, the overly religious zealot Veronica Cartwright. That would be Veronica Cartwright. And King uses those

characters a lot in his story. And I thought when Jack Nicholson showed up that he was going to be their salvation, little did I know that this movie was going to turn that on its ear and just like completely show us what I guess they refer to now as toxic masculinity. Where, you know, hey, well, are mansplaining. You know, the list can go on and on. But it's

just, I thought that it was, it was kind of like the, the wrapping of the film as I thought it was going to be one thing and it turned into something completely different when Nicholson lost this cool and went that shit crazy stomping at the end, doing his best Joker impression. Oh, that's great.

I just want someone to take care of me. Yeah. He's stomping around. Yeah. He's a nut in this movie. I like how he was ironing. Yeah. Well, yeah, because nobody will do it for me. And the Oriental's down at the Oriental store aren't any good at Arning.

Or what do you say? Not enough Oriental's in there with us or something like that. But, yeah, no, I liked what it had to say about it. I thought that all of the performances were great. I mean, you know, all three women were sexy at the time. You know, Cher has probably said in the plastic surgeon chair way too many times. times by now to consider her sexy anymore, but, uh, or she's a vampire. Or she's a vampire. Um, you guys know how I feel about Susan Sarandon. Like if we did an old school, um, you know,

Hall Pass episode, you know, she's going to be there on there for me every time. Yeah, she, she gets better with age. You know what? I would do. Her daughter's hot too. Yes, she is. Um, I, you know what I like, I liked about the character. was that they were kind of like each of them had their own problems. But they were all at the end they were lonely. And they thought they needed a man, right, to fulfill that loneliness in their life or whatever. And so that was like one of the stories. And then like I said, you get the religious zealot.

And is it just me or did these people have fucking church services literally every hour of every day? Seems like they meet at the church a lot. Yeah, that's a good point. Like footloose. Well, I think the way they did it with Nicholson was perfect. I love the sublime part of having, you know, of course he's the devil, right? Or he's a demon or something like that or some kind of warlock. I don't know what the fuck he was at the end of that movie.

Oh, shit. Yeah, that's the one they kept in the movie. That's animatronic that kept in the movie, I guess. That shit went nuts. I think to me, the reason that I like this story so much is because it was kind of like, this was sort of like one of those girl power done bright type movies unlike our black christmas the way they fucked that up and i just i like the fact that when when he showed up they were all you know so desperate to uh you know not be lonely and to have you know somebody else in their life again and stuff like that and they all wanted to kind of be witches and i think they saw him as this character that could help them develop spells and be much better at witchcraft and stuff like that so you know He ended up seducing them all in. There were some incredibly sexy scenes of the three chicks laying on the band.

That was hard to not notice. But yeah, no, I thought it was, it had a lot to say about, you know, when you get into relationships, and it works both ways. I mean, believe me, I've been in relationships with women that have just gone bat shit out the door crazy, where I couldn't wait to get out of that relationship. but I thought at its core it was just kind of a story about how they brought him in

we all thought or at least I thought in my mind oh okay cool he's going to be like this hero and he's going to be ethical and treat them fairly and be cool to him and then come to find him he's just this little fucking stammering angry kid at the end that wants it all his

way so that's pretty deep movie I like this movie every time I see it yeah and you know what Brian you go first yeah this was a movie when I was younger I watched a whole bunch this was on cable all the time I don't believe I saw it in the theater because I was

probably like seven years old at the time so I probably wouldn't remember but did you get it watching it as a kid I agree with everything Lance says but at that age no yeah I thought it was you know I'm a young kid you know, hot women up there. Right. And I didn't really get the witch part because I didn't really feel like they became witches. But now watching this, it kind of seemed like they kind of had a little bit in them before he, Jack Nicholson came.

Because of the whole scene with the wind in the beginning, the storm. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. How they all kind of wanted that guy that was, you know, going on and on. his little speech. They kind of wanted it over and they all just thought of it and it happened. So I get it now. But Jack Nicholson. Like the magic was already there. Yeah.

And Jack Nicholson, he fucking stole the show in this one. He just, he had me dying, like I said, with his, what about me rant. Yeah. Um, I mean, he's vulgar and inappropriate, but I mean, fuck he made me laugh when I think it was share when she was like, are you trying to. seduce me. He was like, no, I'm not trying to seduce you. I'm just trying to fuck you. Fuck you.

I like a little pussy after lunch. Right. Oh, yeah. I can't believe they said that in the movie back then. That actually kind of shocked me. And I know Jack Nicholson is great, but like not the most attractive man anymore. Oh, and they say that in here. Oh, sure. Sherr tells him straight to his face how she really feels about him. but, you know, I get, he, you know, he's charming.

He has the gift of the gab, so. Yeah. Right. And probably a magical spell he cast over him. Well, that helps. I'm guessing. The help of the devil, right? Yeah, and I like the difference between each woman, women, the chair, Susan

Sarandon, Michelle Pfeiffer, you know, they were, they were best friends, but they were all different. And like you said, Lance, they all had their different problems. But man, did Michelle Fiper have a lot of fucking kids in this movie. At that young age, right? Yeah, and where did they go at the end of the movie? Great question. And beautiful, as always, it was fun to see her, you know, back in the day when she was kind of in her prime. And, you know, she was never really my cup at the day.

None of these women ever really were, actually. I never thought Cher was attractive as a kid. But, man, she was pretty hot in this movie. Although, I mean, she was probably already fucking 400 at that point. I don't know how the fuck old she is now, but she looks exactly the same. Yeah. Real quick, I like the supporting cast of Veronica Cartwright. It was like you said, the zealot, the over-religious.

Yeah. And I'd totally forgotten about Richard Jenkins being. Richard Jenkins, Carol Struckin, is that how you say his name? Lurch from the Adams family movies. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Mr. Home. Yeah, Mr. Home from Star Trek. Yeah.

Good seeing him pop up. Yeah, classic. Yeah, this was one of my, I would say it was probably one of my favorites when I was younger, because when it was on TV and I always watch it, no matter, you know, you turn a channel, whatever part it was on, I'd just watch it throughout. So it was a good rewatch for me. I haven't seen this in years. See, and the, the wacky ending of this when he turns into that big long neck demon weird thing was actually kind of familiar. So maybe I watched it when I was younger and I just didn't get it. Right. Yeah. So, and just forgot about it. Maybe you saw just that. scene or something. Yeah. But it was kind of cool watching it again. I think it did have a lot to say. And

the beauty of this one is it's sort of like a classic novel where you can interpret it really whichever way you want to interpret it. I mean, were they saying one specific thing? I don't know. You know, I think that they were saying a bunch of different things and it's up to you to figure it out. And, uh, like, part of it was Jack Nicholson coming in and being this like male feminist type. Who's like, yes. That's how he came out of the gate, right? Yeah. Women are, women are oppressed and all this stuff, but I help me. Right. And a lot of it was, uh, you know, I think that there was probably more, um, religious undertones in here. even you would think about because, you know, the lead us into temptation kind of a situation.

But I thought it was a pretty good movie, you know? It's not something that I would probably watch on my own, but I'm glad that I got to see it because it is sort of a classic movie. And Jack Nicholson is fucking crazy. And he's like the Nick Cage of his time, you know what I mean? Oh, yeah. But with a whole lot better supporting acting and better scripts. Big budget, big budget Nick Cage. In most cases.

Oh, yeah, that's true. Well, Nicholson did a lot of big budget stuff for sure. You guys had a long career. Well, and not everything he did was totally batched it insane like this was. But this was like, oh, you know what? If they redid this movie, Nick Cage would be him. I think he started working with Roger Corman. So he did like Little Shop of Horrors.

and some of those other cheesy, really old Corman era movies. But yeah, no, I mean, I was pretty impressed with it. I liked that everything was sort of open to interpretation, and they talked about, you know, the differences of the men and women and how he sort of tried to inch his way in there. Right. Still was the asshole at the end of the day. I even liked the ending where he pops up on the TV and is talking to his kids.

Oh, that was a creepy ending. Yeah, it kind of was. I think that was a great way to end the show. The kids was excited. Yeah, and he almost ended on kind of a funny, lighthearted note because they just sort of smiled and turned off the TV and he's like, oh, come on girls. But yeah, everybody was beautiful. It was a fun movie. I enjoyed myself.

I see Bill Murray was originally cast as Daryl Van Horn. Yeah. Really? He probably would have been good. Not that good, but he, I can see Murray pulling that off. Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of hard, though, like when you like someone's performance so, so much that when you hear somebody else's was up for, it's kind of hard to see them in it.

I can totally see Bill Murray in this. He could totally play that character. Yeah, I like that guy a lot. How about Nick Cage? And Nick Cage, man. Well, but like Nick Cage now. Yeah, imagine Nick Cage now doing the What About Me? Right.

They should redo this one, but with the little boys. Oh, where they've grown up. Well, see, and I sort of thought that's where they were going partially in the movie, is that, you know, maybe he was awakening this ancient coven that was there or something, you know? And like these girls had some sort of bloodline or they'd been alive forever and they just don't remember it

or, you know, something like that. If it was like the boys grown up, who would be so would? Dane to Hunt. That's not where I was going. Would the Jack Nicholson's character be a woman then? Oh. Nick Cage.

Nick Cage. As a woman? Man Horn. Yes. It could pull it off. Happened. Okay. Man, who would be like a woman to lead that show with the three warlocks, I guess?

Hmm. Okay. I might be just going out there, but Kate Blanchett. Yes. Good call. Yeah. Okay. I'll go with that one. There's not a lot of women that just play total crazies. And she can ham it up like she did in Thor Ragnarok when she was hella.

Yeah. Although she wouldn't take a whole lot of talking to get the guy. That woman is beautiful. All right. All right. Scores. Lance, what do you think? I'll give this 8. and a half out of 10. This was, again, seen it quite a few times. It doesn't get old. And I picked a lot of new stuff out of it at this time. Yeah. Brian? I'm going to give it a seven and a half. It would have been a little bit higher because I'm reading here. Pam Greer was considered to play with one of the witches. Oh, that would have been good. So it would have been eight, but Pam Greer wasn't in there. So I give it a seven and a half. She's still around. She could be the female warlock. Oh, there you go.

I think she's a doctor now or a psychologist now. Is that real? Yeah, Dr. Pan Greer. Wow. Reality show, here we come. Yeah, you know what? I was pretty impressed with Cher's performance. Although she's done some stuff that was really good, I guess.

Yeah, yeah, I kind of liked everybody in it. I guess I'm going to have to give it an eight. I think it was pretty good. Nice score. And real quick, just speaking of Cher, because she does music and stuff, I don't know if she did any music for the movie, but I thought the music was good in this too. Yeah. I'll tell you what, her acting is better than her music. I will take your pipe and smoke it.

Oh, take your word for it because I could not name you a share song. No, I couldn't either. Oh, do you believe that life after love? Life after love. That was the one I was thinking. That was it. All right. Well, now we'll move on to the cult classic that I had never heard of near dark.

Burt. I know, right? Maybe it's a name that popped up and it just escaped me, but I'd never seen it. A Midwestern farm boy reluctantly becomes a member of the undead when a girl he meets at a bar turns out to be in a band of southern vampires who roam the highways and stolen cars. Part of his initiation includes a bloody assault on a Hick bar. Can we say Hick? I don't know.

What could go wrong? They're white. What they can do? Director is Catherine Bigelow, also known for the Hurt Locker and Strange Days. Point break. Right? She did a point break, I think. There you go. The remake?

No. A good one. Yeah. Did I make that? Hold on, I got a double check. Go ahead. I'll double check. All right.

Yep, she directed. She directed point break. Directed point break. Killed it. No idea. I M. F.B.I. Agent. Whatever, dude. He was perfect for that role.

Writers are Kathleen Bigelow and Eric Reed. Eric Redd. Future husband James Cameron suggested to Bigelow that she used the Reddy-made ensemble cast from his recent hit aliens. That's coming up a lot tonight. Here we go again. And thus Lance Hendrickson, a friend of the show, sort of. Bill Paxton and Jeanette Goldstein all appear in Bigelow's film.

Michael Bine also had an appearance in aliens and was considered but declined to participate. Michael Bean. There you go. My bad. During the filming, the casting crew had to deal with a train that would stop at the same intersection every night. One night, Bill Paxton in full makeup, with half of his face missing, saw one of the train

workers leave the diesel engine and went up to him saying, hey, man, there's been an accident. If you think I'm bad, wait till you see the other guy. Oh, ye. Now, is that true? that sounds too good to be true that sounds like a Bill Paxton thing to do yeah man

that is awesome uh so all right Lance what do you think about this one um yeah I'd seen it once before in high school and hadn't really seen it since them and like I'm

I'm totally fucking sold on this a lot of people say I guess the lost boys is the you know the quintessential 1980s vampire movie I'm not I mean. Well, it's neither this or lost boys. Yeah, I love lost boys, but I don't know, man. I think I've actually kind of like, maybe like this better.

Really? Yeah, there's so much action in it. And the creative things they had to do. Ness is throwing things right now. I'm sure he is. But the creative things they had to do, like, you know, put black paint over the windows since they were kind of like nomadic and, you know, went place to place and basically lived in cars or motels.

That seemed kind of reckless to me. Yeah, they're not very good at being vampires, huh? Yeah, that's, I mean, that's pushing it. Like, you know when the sun's coming up, because every time they said it, the sun's coming up in five minutes. I know. They're like, oh, shit, we better get ready. You know, you guys have planned a little bit better.

You would have to deal with this every day. I mean, some of them have been doing it for fucking a long time, so you think they would. Right. I don't know. Maybe spend a couple hours at night, and then let's head back now. Let's not wait until see the sun on the horizon. Yeah, especially since, you know, it kills you.

Yeah, because in every other scene, one of them was like smoking, right? Because they were running through a sunny field or something. Yeah, that seemed like a lot. Yeah, they did that with like, I heard they did that with like cigar smoke. They had these like tubes under their clothes. and it was like pumping cigar smoke out of their clothes. It doesn't seem like the most efficient way to do it, but all right. It was the 80s.

Oh, man. Cigar smoke is good for you. Even with the cigar smoke effects or whatever, I still really enjoyed this movie. Did it get a little hokey at times? I mean, was this kind of like, in a way, Twilight before Twilight? Yeah, maybe. but I don't know. I really enjoyed it.

I thought it had a lot of great action sequences. And, yeah, some of Bill Paxton. Paxton's lines were awesome. That guy was definitely the best part of the show. Lance Henriksen, no offense, you're great. But, yeah, Paxton's still the show on this one for me. Yeah, I think they were both great in there. But, yeah, Paxton was money.

whole movie. Every scene that he showed up and he stole. Yeah, almost as bad as when he played Chapped. Oh, it's that big of a dick. Brian, what do you think? Yeah, I'm a lost boys guy, but

as far as 80s, vampire movies, this is a close second. I would have to really think about the other ones that came out of that time. But, yeah, I love this movie. Great performances by Lance Hendrickson. which is crazy the whole southern civil war background confederate soldier like from what i understand he came up with that to give his character a backstory so he can play the character better okay

that makes sense and i thought that was really cool bill paxton definitely steals the show um i thought the main guy adrian pastar that played calum yeah thought he was a little stale yeah yeah well Well, he played that sort of country, Corden Fred dude pretty much to a T. Yeah. But, yeah, having said that, there was something a little bit boring about him. Yeah, I just felt like maybe somebody else could have played. I don't, I think I read somebody else was. Johnny Depp and D.B. Sweeney had auditioned for the roles, but they passed on them to go with this guy.

Really? Interesting. That's strange. Yeah. Johnny Depp would have been an interesting choice there. I don't know how that would work. Yeah. I mean, Adrian Pastard, he's not bad because I liked him in that one TV show, Heroes.

Yeah. He was the politician that found out he can fly. Oh, yeah. It looks like the same guy. Yeah, he didn't really age. Yeah, besides him and maybe the character that, of May, Jenny Wright.

I thought they were just their whole kind of love story just kind of sometimes took me out because I thought it just happened too quick. Right.

Yeah. Yeah, they didn't put a lot of thought of that. They had a shoehorned in there, right? Yeah, and I think I felt sorry for Homer

having to be in it. No, never feel sorry for that guy. That guy gets donuts all the time. But. And he's a morgue. Homer,

the Joshua John Miller, the one that's forever trapped in a child's body. Oh yeah, that would suck. And then it got weird. Yeah. I thought that was the little newspaper boy from Better Off Dead when I first saw it. I want

my $2. He looked dislike him to me. Yeah. You ever see that movie, The Final Girls? Yeah. Yeah, he wrote that. Really? Yeah, the screenplay. Still in the child's about a yet.

Every movie I've seen him in, I guess he just has that look, that younger look. Yeah, he does. So he was kind of perfect for their role. But I did feel sorry for him. But I also can sympathize with Bill Paxton's character talking about I have to fucking hear you say that every fucking night. Yeah. But Bill Paxton was fucking amazing in this.

He stole it the practical effects on his makeup work, like when he was neither burnt up or when he got ran over by the truck I thought it was really good and that whole bar scene was fucking amazing but I would have to put the stupid people mark on this one you could have anybody could have ran

anytime if I can find the audio I'll do it yeah I know I know the guy he ended up jumping through the window but I don't know that could have happened a lot sooner I don't know why you were standing there yeah they sort of just stood around and watch these people kill everybody.

Yeah. And another quick fact before I pass it to you, Phil, they've never not once said the word vampire in this movie. Huh, that's a good point. I didn't notice that. And I guess they also played that the

normal rules for vampires did not apply here, because I guess Lance Henriksen had crosses on his pistols. Oh. Gotta love that. So I guess they played they play loose on the vampire rules in this one.

I'm okay with that. I did have a problem with the transfusion shit. Yeah, that guy. I don't think that's how that works. Yeah. I don't think so either, man. It'd be great if it did. Yeah, because you can use it for anything.

Right. I was like, wow, his random-ass dad sure cured him of his vampirism very quick. That wasn't that silly? Wasn't his dad doll, man? And those Empire movies, or full moon? Yeah. Tim Thomerson. Yeah.

But yeah, that's probably my biggest problem with that because it doesn't work like that. I'll just take your blood out and put clean blood in and now you're not a vampire. Right. If only we had known this. Yeah, there's definitely some cheesy bits in here. But I think with,

with the cast, you know, that aliens cast, fucking Bill Paxson in particular, hamming it up in every scene that he was in and stealing the show, they totally pulled it off. I kept thinking while I was watching it, how have I never seen this movie? It's great. And the crazier that it gets, the more I'm enjoying it. I definitely did have a problem with the blood transfusion thing at the end. I kind of ran out of ideas.

is and this is how we're going to end the film. Yeah, they should have taken that part out. Yeah. Well, then you'd have to come up with a different ending. Yeah. Caleb suggests they try giving a blood transfusion. The transfusion unexpectedly reverses Caleb's transformation. Unexpectedly.

It wasn't that unexpected if they tried to fucking do it. That's kind of what I was thinking. Caleb should be a fucking doctor or a scientist, or something. Put that motherfucker in charge. Maybe we'll get rid of the shit. Caleb, you got a new job head of the CDC. Just fucking thinking of random things to do and it works. Bye, Fauci. But yeah, no, it was a really fun movie. I enjoyed it a lot. Is it better than Lost Boys?

I'm not going to say that. But I'll definitely go back and watch this one again. again. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm glad that I got to watch it today or yesterday. But, uh, had fun. Scores. Lance. Or Lance. Oh, did I go first? Yeah. Oh, okay. All right. Did I do that? Fuck, man. It's kicking in. Okay. So, uh, oh, scores. Is that where we're at now? Yeah. I am out of the country, guys. So, you know, country living. country living.

Yep. And I'm not doing the moonshine these days, so I had to go with something more natural. I was going to ask, is it kicking in? Is that what's going on? That's what's happened. Do you know where you are now? Did you wander away from the house?

That may be why I spread it out at the end. We're good to go. Score for near dark. I'll give it the same score, eight and a half. You picked two good ones this week, Brian, thanks. no problem all right a good score damn uh brian what do you think i'm gonna go a little bit higher i'm gonna give an eight i thought the cast was great um last get it eight and a half oh he gave it eight and a half man come on match me yeah i'll match you eight and a half all right there you go

eight and a half. It's not better than Lost Boys. Lost Boys, that was like one of my childhood movies that I still watch to this day. I watch it every year. Probably going to be watching it for October here just as a movie that I could throw on. I got the Funko Pops. I got the comic book from the movie. So.

Put Bill Paxton in Lost Boys. Huh. as keep i mean not like a new one i just you know thought experiment can't put bills in a new one he passed away yeah but like if you that vampire character into into one of the crew in lost boys oh you mean like a mash-up movie yeah boy i think he would have been great in that Kiefer Sutherland's crew came across Lance Hendrickson's crew. There you go.

Oh, and formed one big redneck glam metal. Like Corey Hames said, or Corey Feldman, it's the blood-sucking Brady bunch. Yeah. There you go. But yeah, I love a lot about this movie. I just thought the main character was a little stale

and the whole transfusion thing was kind of dumb, but the rest of the movie, it doesn't overshadow the rest of the movie. Yeah, well, I guess you talked me into it, too. I was probably going to go eight, but I think eight and a half is pretty fair, man. I really enjoyed this. Like, I was, you know, Wishes of Eastwick I hung with,

and I was watching it, and I was like, oh, well, this is cool. You know, I'm glad I finally get to watch this movie. But like I said, I'll play. probably not watch it again. But near dark was fun, man. I'll probably watch this again next month with my wife. Nice. Yeah. I had a good time, man. It was good for me. Lots of action. Lots of stupid people. Lots of stupid

vampires, but lots of action. Yeah. It was just, it had a, there was a lot of fun in there. There was a lot of stupid people. Yeah. Not necessarily comedy fun, except, you know, stupid people, but But like that scene where, like the cops come to get them in the motel. Like, I can't think of any particular that could have been done differently there to not have them in that situation. Not from like a movie perspective, but like from a being in that situation perspective. But it seems like there was something that that sort of seemed like a dumb thing to do.

Oh, they're going to be chasing this. Let's go to the nearest motel and crash. They won't find us there. I like Lance Hendrickson, though, because you think he was, you think Caleb was in the crew after that rescue. Yeah. Right.

Lance was like, it bought you a day. Yeah. You still got to get out there and kill, so get out there. Well, and as close as they cut it with the sun every goddamn day. I imagine a lot of them died off. I'd just All they got to do is came out of the van

In the middle of nowhere Sunrise, five minutes We got to find somewhere Quick I know we're in the middle of the desert With no vehicle or house Anywhere nearest But we got this five minutes

Yeah maybe not the best place For a vampire to hide It's a good thing There was a motel like Every five miles, I guess Right Not a tree inside The old no-tale motel.

All right. I guess that's it. Any last words? I am a physical media collector, and I believe there is neither one of these are on Blu-ray. I think the DVDs are out of print, too. So please, somebody. I'm putting it out in the universe.

get like a special edition on both of these. We'll get the train rolling. I can't believe there's not a Witches of Eastwood DVD. That sounds like it would be. I'm sure there is, but it's probably... Yeah, I'm sure there is the DVD, but it's probably like out of print and probably you can probably go on eBay and they're probably jacking up the prices. Yeah.

And Near Dark was great, man. I cannot believe I've never seen this movie. Yeah, and it was weird because Shutter had put it on. on their streaming platform and then they took it off after a month and this is rather hard to find. Yeah. I hate it to do that. Yeah. They do that a lot, man.

All those streaming services do. Like, you got to find a movie that you saw on there like a month ago and it's fucking gone. Yeah, but usually there's somewhere to watch it. That's the downside of this one. There's no place that streaming. No option, huh?

Yeah, they make weird deals because I notice the Harry Potter movies. They bounce from HBO Max to Peacart like every other month, which is weird. I was like, what kind of deal did you guys make?

It seems counterproductive. Very much so. All right. Well, as always, we want to thank you for listening to another episode of the Horror Returns. We'd love to hear your feedback and ideas. You can always reach us at the Horror Returns at gmail.com.

be sure to follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Podbean, all of the things. Just search for the horror returns. And also on Apple Podcasts, iTunes, whatever you want to call it. And if you like what you're here, please rate us and review us and win some cool shit.

Maybe. Next week. Yeah, next week, let the Halloween month begin. We'll have our annual Halloween kid special featuring the 2019 movie Haunt, awesome, and some very special guests. Now, Brian, you can pick that for the kid shows. Isn't that an R-rated movie? That'll be all right.

Yeah. It's good, it's good, it's good R-rated. That's true. There's no boobs or anything. Right, that's what I was going to say. I don't remember any boobs in there. Violence I'm okay with. Every time the three-year-old comes in business, she has to watch Psycho Gorman, so there you go. Great fucking movie.

So, until the horror returns again, Lance, you want to take us out from Moondola Nowhere? Yeah, let's see if you can hear an echo. Hold on.