The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #295: Scary Movie (2000) & Scream (2022)

Episode Date: January 20, 2022

Well, since we've already talked about the other Scream movies, we paired this one with the classic Wayans Brothers masterpiece, Scary Movie.  The legend, Steve Carleton from the League of Geekz, joins us in Lance's absence to let you know how we feel about them.  Check out the newest trailers, news, and of course, the coolest thing we've seen this week, to expand your cinematic horizon.  

Regings victims, for those of you who delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify gore, welcome. You have found the place where the horror returns. Listeners beware. This podcast contains major plot spoilers. and the foulest of language. Join us in celebrating the old and the new, the best, and the worst in horror. Welcome back, one and all, to the horror returns.

As you may have noticed, I'm Philip and not Lance. He is off doing some stuff and it sticks with his mom. Dad came out wrong. But with me is Brian, and, From the League of Geeks with a Z, Steve Carlton. How's it going? What's going on, fellas? Thanks for having me back.

I'm not always. I'm glad you can come on. It's a screen movie. I mean, yeah, it's kind of my thing with you guys, right? Well, what are you guys up to at the League of Geeks these days? Well, you know, things are getting shaken up and changing around a lot. I don't know if you guys listened to the last episode, but our dear friend Alil is moving. from Illinois to Florida.

He got hired by the mouse. Oh. So it's making some changes in what we're allowed to say. Oh, I bet. So, no, but it's good. You know, great for a Lill. You know, he's a Disney freak. So him going and working for the mouse is a good thing.

And he'll be in Florida, so we don't have to deal with snow anymore. And when I go visit him, I won't get snowed in like I did last time. There you go. And free tickets to Disney World. So that's a good plus. But, you know, other than that, we're just kind of, we started doing our show live now. So we're, we changed up the format a little bit. I actually really like doing it that way, though.

It's, I like the listener interaction. And we get comments live. So it's pretty fun. But other than that, like, not a ton. You know, we're not doing the 31 Days of Horror right now. That's over. We tried to do 12 days of Christmas. I think we did two movies.

But that was all when. Alil was doing his interviews and all that, so it was a pretty hectic schedule. So, well, you know, just keeping on, keeping on. Watching all the good shit. Getting mad at Lance for hating on Spider-Man No Way Home because it was amazing. So, I don't know. He's the only person I've heard say it was shitty. Oh, my God.

He was angry about it, too. I was like, where is this coming from? I understand it. Why don't you like joy? Yeah. He watched too many of those hallmarked. Christmas movies. It fucked with his head.

That's what I got. That's the way I'm going. All right. So what's the coolest thing you've seen this week? Let's see. So I finished the season finale of Mayor of East Town. I don't know if you guys have seen that on Paramount Plus. I started it.

Very good. That show is awesome. And the final episode is like balls to the wall crazy. Very good action. very good story. It's just awesome. It does kind of have that Taylor Sheridan quiet ending, but, you know, I'm kind of into that dude right now. I'm like binging Yellowstone like crazy. So

Mayor of East Town was kind of right up my alley. Or Mayor of Kingstown, not Mayor of Easton. That was the other show. Mayor of East Town is a whole different thing. But yeah, Mayor of Kingstown. That's on Paramount Plus. Very good. I may have to add that to the list of shit that I'm going to Check out one day. Let's see. And then I've been watching that book of Boba Fett.

And season one I thought was okay, season two I love, or episode two I loved. And episode three came out. Eh. Didn't really. It's like. Not grabbing you the way you wanted to. That was a terrible car chasing. It's terrible.

Yeah. Little Power Ranger motorcycles. Yeah. I like Power Rangers and that look bad. That's a good point. All right, I can see your point on that one. Because I'll roll into that. I think my cool of the week is definitely Boba Fett,

just because I'm caught up with it now. I'm just enjoying having Star Wars back in my life. Sure, sure. But, yeah, that whole car chase scene was really bad. It was bad. It was really badly done. I'm surprised they just let that go out on. Brian, you see anything?

What are you watching? What are you watching? That's the true, Phil? No. That's not me. I'm in a quiet room. There's nothing on over here. It's me.

Over here. Oh. Oh, hey. Oh, it's Nes. I'm at the airport. I'm at the airport. I'm about to get on a plane. I was about to say.

I thought somebody was watching something in an airport. No. I'm in Las Vegas about to get on a plane. So, Matt, how's Las Vegas feeling right now that the Raiders are out? Yeah, I was just about to say, that's my cool of the week. The bitch-ass Las Vegas Raiders got knocked out. Good. Go Seahawks.

And we beat the 49ers twice. So, yeah. It don't matter. We beat them twice. You're sitting at home. It don't matter. The Niners are going off the play. We won.

You could beat all the other team. You didn't beat us. But anyway. Hey, I'm hoping the Cowboys beat the Niners tomorrow. Oh, that's right, Phil. You're a Cowboys man. Yeah, we went to A Nightmare of Toys here in Las Vegas. We went to a signing for Derek Mears.

The Jason had played, or the guy that played Jason in the 2009 Friday, 13th. He was really cool. Blew all kinds of money on all kinds of stuff I didn't need. But, hey, I'm here in Vegas. about to get on this plane right now. So I just wanted to chime in really quick. I didn't get to see the movie. We're going to go see it once we get back to Reno.

I'll give you my grade for a scary movie. Ten. But, yeah, that's it. But yeah, we're about to get on right now. So, all, Steve, you guys all take care. Talk to you guys all later. I know. Yeah, Lance and Spider-Man.

Come on, brother. You're better than that. All right, guys. I'm out of here. Peace. All right. Well, there goes, Nez. I was wondering where that background stuff was coming from. I'm like, fuck, I'm going to have to address this,

runner. Was it on me, cool, Louie? Yeah, I think so. Well, I had BobaFet, and then I also started to watch Eternals, and then my wife went out. And so I was kind of okay with that. Oh, I. I actually did watch that this week too

because it dropped on Disney Plus so for free why not give a shot Wow that movie sucks Yeah Okay at least I'm not the only one It was What is this? So bad

Anyway There's nothing else really to say about it It's just bad It really was Well I've watched Nothing new this week I did a bunch of rewatches Phil, I rewatched

The Empty Man. I saw it on HBO Max. Yeah. It probably shouldn't have been on my worst list last year, or the year before. Yeah. I actually ended up really liking it. Really? The rewatch got you, huh?

Yeah. It's a different one. Yeah. Maybe I just wasn't in the mood, or maybe I was too much in the mood. You know how it goes. Kind of missed some things. but that was pretty good and I just been

because I seen a bunch of movies that were on my bottom list that were on some people's top list so I've been rewatching those and rewatched oxygen the Alex Aja movie on Netflix

still don't like it still don't like it I mean you know it's a chick stuck in a fucking sleeping pod and losing oxygen I'm used to his movies

where he's doing like piranha and the hills have eyes and these ultra violent movies so still ain't digging it is it like is it the whole movie take place in the pod yeah she wakes up she can't remember she is and the the computer's telling her her oxygen's on 30% and she's trying to figure out what's going on and it's movies like two and a half hours long good lord what happens when you wake up from the If how was that character, it would be two and a half hours of me watching the little meter going all the way down to zero. I'm being like, well, fuck. So, yeah, that's all pretty much I watch. All right.

Well, that was a pretty quick, cool week. We got any horror headlines? We got a few. Still haven't got a trailer, poster, nothing for the Firestarter reboot from Blumhouse. But it is going to be rated R. So. Do they cast anybody like that? You got to make me pull it out.

Well, I couldn't remember if we talked about it or not. I'm drunk a lot. We probably did. I can't remember. Fire starters, stars, Zach Ephron. As the fireman. Drew Barrymore. I don't know this actor.

Ryan, Kiera, Aram. strong. Oh, that is. See, so she was in the Tomorrow War. Okay. And she's the kid?

Yeah. Okay. She's been in some stuff. I'm assuming that out front as a father. That'd be a change if he was, it's like method acting. He's going to play the kid. He's playing it like a 10-year-old little boy.

I said, your little girl. We talked about the Quiet Place Spinoff movie. It's going to be directed by Michael Sarnovsky. He did recently that movie Peg with Nicholas Cage. Still haven't seen that yet. Is that good? Is it worth it, where to watch? It depends on what kind of Nicholas Cage movie you want to get into.

Yeah. I liked it. I thought it was really good, but it's also one of those where, like the ending is not as satisfying as you would like but that's kind of the point of it it has some stuff to say that you wouldn't expect out of

a Nicholas Cage movie all right yeah he's flexing his acting chops in that one we were talking about that I think last week on the League of Geeks it was like we're talking about old actors because like Matrix Resurrections was such garbage and I was just like man

like some of these actors are just only playing the same role And they were like all old actors do But I'm like, non-Niglo's Cage, that motherfucker got range I think those cage is a different person than every fucking movie Yeah He goes from bonkers to slightly less bonkers Pretty easily So

This probably will make Nez Sad Amazon is canceled I know what you did last on or just after one season I watched the trailer for that And that's about as far as I got I was like, nope, not for me. And I love 90s teen slasters, but, ugh.

Yeah, I didn't even know that was the thing. Yeah, I didn't see how they were going to try to stretch it out past a season, which I didn't even get past the first episode. But I think Nez watched it the whole thing. Well, good. Last thing we're going to talk about is Spider-Man director John Watts is producing a new final destination movie for, HBO max

okay nobody really that but in that whole series there are like I think the first movie still the best movie but it didn't have the best kills

that shit got inventive throughout that series they had some ridiculous kills I think one of my favorites was the gymnastics girl that was doing her routine and that thing flipped over

and blew all the smoke everywhere and she just lost her shit and just crumpled into like a mess of nothing. That was very rough. There was a few, the whole highway scene in part two. Oh, I still, I still, whenever I'm behind a logging truck, I take a picture of it and send it to a will and Sean. Yeah.

Like it's happening. Well, they've got a good vibe. So, you know, I mean, hopefully they can keep it going. I guess if you're going to keep recreating the same horror movie over, that's a pretty good one to do it. But didn't John Watts, like, did he get his starting horror? I know he did that thriller. What was it? The car?

Yeah, the cop car. I thought that was pretty good. But, like, he did that movie Clown. And that movie was fucked up. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that one. They kill kids with no problem in that movie. Yeah, we'll see.

I mean, HBO Max, still waiting on that. Still waiting on the trailer for Evil Dead Rise. that's supposed to be premiering on HBO Max. You know what, honestly, lately for my money, HBO Max has been the best streaming service. They have so much stuff. They have a ton of great shows. That Station 11 came out.

I actually finished the season finale of that this week, too. That show's amazing. And they're just getting all kinds of movies and shows and for your money. I mean, like Netflix raised my price again. It's now $20 a month for Netflix and haven't really been watching anything. on it. I haven't even

I haven't watched it since Cobra Car. Yeah. But I will say that Cobra Kai is worth every fucking penny of $20 a month. That's true. But you know, you can watch it and get out. I just don't like having to do re-sign up and all that and answer all the

information ads. I can pay them, give them their goddamn money. My wife has been stuck on Pluto TV lately because they have a a Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders making the team channel. And that's her newest show. And it's the one that I have the least amount of gripe about.

I could imagine. I could imagine. You're like, yeah, sure, let's watch that. Yeah. I don't mind walking in the living room and that's always on. I'm like, haven't we seen this episode before? I know that girl. I'm running through the news.

I think that's it. That actress Storm Reed, she's going to play. I've never played the game, but she's going to play Riley, and HBO is The Last of Us. Oh, you never played those games, Ryan? No. Man, really good. So good. Late and wrong.

Late and wrong. The new geeks catchphrase, late and wrong. Yeah, that's going to be a good show. Can't wait for that. They released a little teaser for Moon Night today. Yeah, I saw some of them. What do you guys think about me? moon night. Well, that's,

like one of my favorite Marvel characters, so. Yeah, he was cool when I was a kid. So, I was going to see something, you know. Fuck, yeah.

I mean, it's Oscar Isaac. You know? All right. It's Oscar Isaac. Kick an ass. Hopefully it's kind of pushes the boundary of what Disney Plus is doing

with their Marvel stuff and interesting to see where he fits into the larger MCU. Yeah. See if they hit the nail on the head. Ethan Hawk playing the villain.

Well, wrong with that? I think we're supposed to get a full trailer Monday. Ethan Hawk and villain role. So he's got this and he's got that, that, this is it a black mask or what is that movie? The black phone. The black phone, that one. That trailer was awesome.

Didn't that get delayed? June. We talked about it seems like they got a lot of faith in and dropping it in the summer blockbuster. I'm going to go to the theater. check that one out. That looks great. Yeah, I'm excited about that one. Other than that, I think that's the news.

All righty. We'll take a little trip down to the trailer park. We'll bring you the big to small and sometimes the very, very weird, which we definitely have today. Brian, what's our first new trailer to talk about this week? I guess we'll start with the weird upcoming movie called Hatchling. Synopsis, a young gentleman. who tries to desperately

desperately to please her demanding mother discovers a strange egg. She hides it and keeps it warm. But when it hatches, what emerges shocks them all. Probably not going to run through these names because they're all born. Yeah,

you probably never heard of him anyway. You just, before we started recording, you just watched the trailer, what did you think? I thought it looked interesting. It looks a little, it looks pretty art house, you know, but sometimes with horror, that's, that's really good.

Yeah. I do also like creature features, and there's definitely a creature of some sort in this, so I'm all here for that. They had that, what was the song they were playing? Like, they were, Mama's gonna buy you a rock. Yeah. Mockingbird, they were doing that, and they put a horse,

but I love when trailers do that. They take songs that are really innocent and sweet and make them sound ominous and terrible. And there was some pretty great visuals, in there. So I also don't mind reading movies. I have no problem with that. So for me, this looks like something I'm going to definitely catch up

with. I liked it a lot. Yeah. Looks interesting was my first thought. Yeah, I mean, it looks weird. I'm sure that they have something to say that's probably kind of ridiculous, but whatever.

It still looks kind of cool. I like the concept. It's different. So I'll take it. Yeah, just go ahead. I was just say the mom was ruthless. She murdered that bird. That's what I was going to say. I think just the way the family's working out here,

we might see the mother might do something a little bit more shocking than what we're going to get with the egg. She seems kind of out there. The whole family did kind of. It was very like Norman Rockwell picturesque, 1950s family kind of everyone's smiling at the dinner table one I don't even

have a fucking dinner table and when we are all sitting around each other eating nobody's fucking smiling so like you know this that that whole thing just looked just creepy to me so all right this one is expected

April 29th moving on to us I'm not sure right now I know it's been pre-the past year it's making the festival around so I would say maybe limited theater yeah the VOD was that IFC midnight yeah nice right our second trailer it's gonna be studio 666 666 the stars and believe made by the food fighters yeah this this one just looks fun you know it looks ridiculous

and out there and hilarious but there's probably gonna be some really great gore and and in kill effects and special effects. I just think that this looks like a blast. Yeah, you had me at Food Fighters. Let's see. Jeff Garland from the Goldbergs, Will Forte, Jen Ortega, we'll be talking about her later on in screen. She's kind of everywhere.

Yeah. Yeah. She's in this one. She's in the next trailer. She's in the movie we're talking about. Damn, she is, huh? Yeah, I don't remember really seen or whether it was the babysitter. The second one, I think, yeah.

Yeah, we reviewed those for 31 days. The second one was good. It wasn't the first one, but it was still decent enough for what it was. Yeah, I should have had a lot more of somebody else that popped up at the end. But that's just my bias, my bias for her. Well, I mean, it's Samara. I mean, what are you going to? Yeah.

Can't go wrong with more her. But this one looks like it's going to be fun. And I think the effects look pretty good. I think there's going to be some good practicals. I know these guys are a big horror fan, so it's going to look like it's going to be fun. And this one's due February 25th, and I believe this one's on our schedule.

Man, that's real close. I don't even know anything about this until they dropped the trailer, and that's coming out right around the corner. Yeah, first I've heard of it. But fuck yeah, sign me up. I'll do it. And our final trailer, which Lance, before I gave you guys a trailer, he was already sending me this one. He got super excited about it.

I wonder why. That's the Ty West's new movie X. Let's see. IMDV has no plot currently. Everybody starts getting murdered when they're filming a porno. Yeah. This stars Jenna Ortega. He said, Kid Cuddy, Brittany Snow, Mia Gough, Martin, Henderson, and so on and so on.

Steve, what do you think? Listen, I love all these all-period horror movies, you know, especially the 70s like this. You know, this just takes you back to like Texas chainsaw and some of those originals. And it looks like they cast it well, looks like it's filmed well. The set design looks great. It definitely puts it right where it's supposed to be. And I don't know what's up with that creepy old lady. Something's going on.

It just looks like it's going to get fucking nuts, and I'm all here for that. I didn't even recognize Kit Kuddy. No, me neither. Not at all. Yeah. Yeah, that was a surprise. I didn't realize it was Kit Kuddy until he said it.

And then, yeah, pretty sure there's going to be some old lady boobs in here, so that ought to be fun. Listen, that's somebody's thing, and for them, this is going to be the movie for it. I mean, it's 824. You know, they're, they still got a pretty good track record. I know they get kind of artsy-fartsy, but this looks more leather-facedy, you know? Like what Texas Chainsaw Mascar maybe should have been. Is that why Lance is excited?

because it takes place in the backwoods. I'm going to say the porn. Oh, got it. I mean, he knows it's available. It's out there. If you have a smartphone, you have porn. And then who is the blonde girl? What's her name?

Brittany Snow. Britney Snow. She's always hot, so that ought to be fun. Right. Yeah, I'm Ty West. I'm kind of up and down with him. Some of his movies I like. some of them I don't

care for. The Sacrament was good. You guys ever seen that one? The suicide cult. Oh, that's one where the It's like found footage. Yeah. And they go back. I tried to watch that several times and I never

made it through. I was full asleep. Well, cult freaks freaked me out. Well, yeah. All right. Let's see, X is due to come out. March 18th. Okay.

That one looks like it'll probably be a theater release, though, huh? Yeah. Might be an awkward theater watch, though. Yeah. You know. All right. All right. I guess that's it for listener feedback.

Let's move on. Oh, no, for trailer park will move to, you know what the fuck I'm talking about, guys. This week, the podcast spotlight shines on. Shaken, not scared. Join Vee and Eric every week as we watch the classic modern horror movies and give our take on what makes them great. Terrible or both while making a drink to go with it. Cheers. Check it out wherever you get your podcast. Shaken, not scared. Good stuff.

And we have two new emails this week. One is from Don Anelli. It says, hey, guys, Don and Ellie here. Just wanting to say, hey, and tell you how much I'm looking forward to working with you guys on the March Madness series this year. year. That ought to be fun. I don't even know what we're doing. I don't either. But I'll figure it out last minute.

See you guys then, and I want to recuse myself from the prize, since I already won a shirt of yours from a previous contest and want another listener to win a beautiful shirt. But other than that, see you all then. P.S. Lance, great white rocks. Okay. Well, we got some new shirts. So maybe staying there.

And we have another email from Elisabeta Vidovic. My name is Elizabeth Vidovik. I'm a producer with almost normal productions. I hope your years off to a great start. We recently released a female-centric horror film that holds the title for most dysfunctional family. Oh, that's a tough title and horror. Officially titled The Accursed and starring Yancey Butler, Goran Vesnijik,

Malora Walters, Isabella Vidovic, and Myra Walsh. Probably said those wrong, but you get the idea. The film held a number one indie horror on iTunes for the first. first months of its release, going toe to toe with multi-million dollar studio films. We've been featured on KTLA, Good Day, LA, daytime, our heart radio, bloody disgusting, and Rue Morg, just to name a few. Better yet, not one person has guessed the ending to my almost normal team consists of a trio of ladies. Catherine, Michelle, is Isabella Vadovic, and myself making movies for women to channel their inner badass.

Being that our film is a supernatural horror uniquely set against an Eastern European backdrop and directed, written, and produced by some badass women who love horror, I thought I'd reach out to a badass horror podcast like yours and see if you might be interested in chatting with us for the horror returns. We're fans of what you do for the genre and will love the opportunity to talk to you. Thanks in advance for taking my time. time to read my message and let me know your thoughts. I really look forward to hearing from you.

And she left the website. It's almost normal productions.com. So, what do you think, Brian? We should reach out and talk to them? Yeah. Yeah. Send us your movie, too.

Check it out. Oh, yeah. We'll definitely check it out and review it. All right. And we have a new five-star Apple podcast reviewed. Damn, we get a bunch of shit flooding in when Lance is not here. This one is from someone named Tim in Australia. Who could it be?

He says, best non-A Aussie horror show. I appreciate you, Tim. And as always, our show intro comes from you, Steve. For me. Yeah, thank you. And our artwork comes from Natsalani. You can check her out on Instagram. And if you'd like to help us out, please consider becoming a Patreon patron.

We'll let you pick the movies for a future show at any amount. And for $5 or more a month, also pick a commentary for a future bonus show. And if you have a chance, please give us a five-star Apple podcast review, and you could win some cool shit. Nice. All right. On to the featured attractions. This week, we check out the all-news Scream, or Screen 5, or Screen 2022, or whatever you want to call it. that movie, as well as

2000's scary movie. Because we already did all the screen movies. We'll start out with scary movie. Nez already gave it a hell of good. A year after disposing of the body of man,

a year after disposing of the body of a man that accidentally killed, a group of dumb teenagers are stalked by a bumbling serial killer. What are you winning for? director is Keenan Ivory Wayans also known for I'm going to get you

Sucka and white chicks See, and Wants put the good movies in there this time Yeah Writers are Sean Wayans, Marlon Wayans and Buddy Johnson The original script

featured a cameo role for Jamie Lee Curtis as Cindy would discover her hiding in a closet in her house while the killer was chasing her out the stairs. Jared Leto was offered to play Bobby during the early stages of casting. He eventually declined in favor of doing Requiem for a Dream, which also starred Marlonne's. Not a bad choice. Yeah, that's true.

But Scary Movie, The Classic, Steve, what do you think? It's funny because, you know, Scary Movie is a franchise. And it kind of follows the screen franchise in a way where, like, the first one's really good. Second one's pretty good. And after that, it's just all drek. And, you know, this, it's been a long time since I've gone back to this. And it was a lot more vulgar than I remembered. Lots of dicks.

Lots of dicks in this one. But it was hilarious. You know, it's just, it's hilarious. My 14-year-old daughter was watching most of it with me, but there is. is a scene at the end, the sex scene, and I went ahead and just, I knew what that was all about. Fast forwarded that one. You've seen enough? I want to explain this one to you with his body getting drained and being stuck to the ceiling.

I just don't want to have this whole thing. Like I already had to, she already gave me a look when the one guy got a dick through his head. Like, I didn't make it. Don't look at me. Come on. That was pretty funny. It was hilarious. It was great.

And then, you know, I hate the person that is his girlfriend in the theater. I mean, those people exist. I have dealt with them. I know. Ridiculous. Today, I wouldn't saw a scream today. There was two other people in the theater besides me. That's it.

They wouldn't shut up the whole time. The whole time they talked. It's like, ah. But, no, this one had a lot of gags. I think, I think my favorite one in this was the Blair Witch little bit. I had completely forgotten about that but all that shit falling out of her nose on the screen that was so funny

but I loved it you know I know we're not giving scores in the beginning but I really enjoyed it so Brian what about you definitely the best one out of what five six of them I don't know how many definitely you can't make this

movie now not not fine nowadays and Steve, I agree with you. I don't remember it being as raunchy as it was. I almost felt like I was watching it for the first time again. Yeah. Some of them jokes, I was kind of like, oh, wow. A lot of dicks.

The one guy that gets a picture in the locker, it's like, I know. That's his little dick. It's so funny. You wouldn't make fun of a guy in a wheelchair. They were ahead of their time, man. Everybody got a head of disability. My favorite character was probably Sean Wayans. Yeah.

Who was, I guess, gay, but not gay. No, he was gay. Yeah, and I... He had his finger on the other guy's butt in the car. With it, too, if you guys notice him running in the background, the way he's running, like, he sticks to character through the whole movie. But everybody does that. There's a scene of Anna Farris running away in the school,

and she's just wailing her arms around and running like an idiot. And I'd rather enjoy the scene with Shannon and Elizabeth getting stabbed because she didn't want to talk to us. She didn't want to talk to us one year, Texas Frightmare. Friend of this show. I still have a hard time hating on her, though, because she's still pretty high. Of course, gorgeous. But you know who else was gorgeous?

at this time when this movie came out, Carmen Elektra. Oh, yeah, always one of my favorites, classic. The boobstab, too. Implant came out with her. He's got a good sense of humor. I think the funniest part about that whole opening scene was that giant popcorn. Every time they cut back to it, it's just bigger and bigger until it's like just this gigantic tinfoil ball of popcorn. So stupid.

hilarious. Let's you know what kind of movie you're in for early on. What's you think, Phil? Oh, yeah, I love this movie. It's almost kind of hard to even talk about it because there's so many things that would be super offensive now. So go back and watch this and spot how offended you are now versus 20 years ago. Weird shit, man.

It's just a weird phenomenon. When she calls nine-on-one and she types it in white woman in trouble and all these cop cars show up. That's fucking funny, man. That triggers somebody right now. But you know what, man, comedy is supposed to be a little offensive, you know? I think it works for it. And this movie definitely works. I love the Wayans brothers and just about everything they do.

I think Sean Wayans doesn't get nearly enough credit for the show. shit that he does. He kind of falls in the background because Marlon is usually funnier. But I like Sean. I've always liked him. What would your last words be to her? Run, bitch, run. Marlon Waynes is a classic comedy character, man. He gets into character and rolls with it. And as Shorty here, he's fucking awesome. Yeah, dude, this is definitely a classic. I always love horror comedies.

It's hard to pick a better, like I can't decide whether I like horrors more or comedies more. But I love both of them, and it's kind of weird because it doesn't make sense. But this one does both together beautifully. There's a way to do, I mean, this is more like naked gun. This is just ridiculous parody. What are you waiting for? The old guy just kills himself. That's right.

What am I? Come on. A suicide joke? That was fucking funny. We didn't even talk about Duffy. You can't do that character. Dudey was fucking hilarious. I love when he walked in.

He was like, here's an ice pack for your hand, Sid. And he fucking nails it right in the face with it. So good. She's like calling him, Doofy, get out here. And someone on the phone and comes out dragging the floor. or he comes out dragging the fucking vacuum. I told you don't have to rob me while I'm cleaning my room. Ah, so good.

Definitely can't do that character anymore. But it was funny when they... What does that smell? It's my ass. I did a poopie. It was good. Did you say you made a pooby? Quotable movie, man.

This is a great one. There are a whole lot of lines where they nail them. And, you know, a lot of them are straight from screen. I'll be right back and stuff like that. But, man, it was... Oh, when they... With Sean Wayans... Sean Wayans...

Sorry. When he, like, channeled... What's his name from the first screen? With his spake coming up with my... Yeah. Oh, that was so good. Yeah. Yeah, I think these are...

These are smarter than people. people give them credit for, man. It's good comedy. All right. Let's do scores. Steve, what do you think? Yeah, fuck it. I'll go with Niz. Give it a 10. For what it is. You know, I mean, for what it is, for a parody, comedy that's making fun of all these movies and pointing out their ridiculousness and then

interjecting dicks and tits into it, listen, it's perfect for what it's trying to do. Fucking damn. Brian, what do you think? Yeah, why not? Ten. I mean, for what it is and it wasn't scared to do the kind of comedy that it did. I got to give it to them, so ten. On the scale of what this movie is. Yeah.

They accomplished what they were trying to do. And I'm going to say, I'm going to say 10 also. I think this is a good classic comedy that after not having seen it for a long time, going back to it was a lot of fun because like you cringe a couple at a few of those jokes and it's like oh wow that that one stung a little man they're doing they're doing some good stuff here all right so tens across the board i wonder what that's four tens so yeah how often does that happen i know well lances number i'm only on here once every couple of years i got to make my score count Lance says he loves it, but his high scores are a bit different from our high score.

I bet he'd be it a 9.5 or something. I bet he'd give it a 7. All right. We'll roll on to Screen 5 or Screening or, you know, they make a joke in the movie. 25 years after the original series of murders in Woodsboro, a new killer emerges. and Sidney Prescott must return to uncover the truth. Directors are Matt Betanelli Open and Tyler Gillette. Writers are James Vanderbilt and Guy Busek.

They also did Ready or Not. David Arquette, who is a certified Bob Ross painting instructor. What? taught several of the cast members had a paint like the legendary artist during the filming breaks. Of course he did. That's awesome. I know.

This will be the first screen movie not directed by West Craven who passed away in August of 2015. Samara weaving was actually approached to be in the film, but she was unavailable due to scheduling conflicts with nine perfect strangers. That would have been good. All right. So Steve, what did you think about the new screen? This one ought to be interesting.

Yeah, I didn't like it. No? No. No, it's it didn't do. The only person I liked was David Arquette. That's it. He was great. I pretty much hated all of the new cast.

I didn't like any. It was just, it was so, I don't know what it was. But like, every time Sam talked, like, she was, it was just, it irritated me. I don't know what it was about her, but I was just like, I don't like any of this. It's funny, though, because I used to live in Modesto. So, like, I was like, oh, look at this. Interesting. But I thought, like, Courtney Cox, she looks bad.

Am I, am I wrong? Somebody else looks pretty bad, too. There's a lot of work done there. It didn't look very good. Nev Campbell was in the movie for five minutes. and really didn't do much. Like, I kind of pegged the killers pretty early. And, I mean, they literally tell you who it is.

And it was funny because I just watched scary movie this morning before I went and saw Scream. And, like, they did the whole, it's me. And then that's, like, the big giveaway. And then the fucking killers, you know, says it. And he's like, it's me. And I'm like, ah, son of a bitch. There it is.

But I thought none of the kills were... aside from a couple of a couple that none of the kills are very memorable they talked the whole time about the problems with doing sequel slash reboots and how to fix it and they didn't fix it they just did it and they they talked a lot about how to fix it but they didn't you know what I'm saying like like they just it was like very self-referential but they didn't take their own advice and I don't know I was just I left the theater feeling very underwhelmed I got you See, but then there's still certain rules to the horror movie,

and they sort of stuck with... It sort of felt like that... Like, with trying to figure out who the killer was, I felt like I was in the poison scene and the Princess Bride. Oh, yeah. It's just, I didn't like any of the kids. You know, it was just... I don't know.

Like, nothing grabbed me about... There was a few good scenes, like, decent scenes. But, like, the one with the boy fucking... with the doors constantly, I was like, oh, come and fuck. Like with the music swelling as he has the fucking door open and shuts it, nothing happens. I'm just like, God damn it. Just fucking do it already.

I don't know. I don't know if I was not in the right frame of mind. I actually was really excited to see this. I'd seen online that, you know, like I think IGN gave it like a nine out of ten. They were like, oh, some very inventive and memorable kills and all this. And I didn't see that. I didn't see any of that. So for me, it was just, it was just,

a little underwhelming. It's definitely not the worst scream movie. I still think that Scream 3 holds that title. But I don't even think this is better than the Scream 2. So that's where I'm at. I don't know who wants to take it after me. Brian, you want to go? Yeah, because I, Steve, I love you, man, but I disagree with you.

I had a lot of fun with this. I think this is the best one since the first one. Really? Yeah, I will. agree with you that the kills weren't advantage but I will say they were more I felt like this ghost space was more brutal yeah oh for sure I yeah and I like the the legacy characters coming back they do look old and I felt like David Arquette just kind of showed up how he is and in the movie I didn't like some of the ways they tried to connect people to the legacy characters

I thought that was kind of convenient. But, yeah, the black, the black twins, their uncles, Randy. I was like, yeah. But I took my daughter to see this, and we had a blast watching this movie. And, yeah, I just had fun with it. The story is pretty straightforward. They kind of, I'll point it out in spoilers, but they kind of give away the killers early on, so

kind of caught that, but I just kind of went with it and just had fun. So, I don't, I'm still confused on, on what I think about this movie. Like they had a lot of, there was a lot

of comedy, and it wasn't necessarily bad comedy, but it just didn't fit for some reason. And I don't understand why. Because I was like, you know, like that uh the arquette kid he was pretty funny on everything that he did i like the way he delivered his lines and stuff but it didn't really match the tone of the movie the arquette kid uh not arquette i was

like david arquette he called him a kid no dennis quade's kid oh jack quade yeah um and so i don't know they they did have me laughing at one point towards the end we'll get into that and uh in spoilers i did like the third act, which they alert you to right when it's happening, because it's very self-aware. But I don't know. I'm still having a hard time figuring out whether I actually legitimately liked this movie or not. I think I could be swayed either way. Because I think it was good. I think they did some stuff that was really clever, and I liked it. But it didn't all hit the way it was supposed to, I think. I don't know.

And listen, I'm ready to be swayed myself. When we talk spoilers, Brian, sway me, my friend. Sway me. All right. We'll do quick scores. Steve, what do you think? Oh, we're doing scores before spoilers? Yeah.

All right. My preliminary score before spoilers is like a four. Okay. Yikes. Brian. Lance would be so proud of you. right now I'm at a seven and a half I had a lot of fun with it

the characters didn't bother me as much I thought the keels were brutal not inventive but I just kind of felt like they went with it or went for it yeah I just felt like when I was feeling it when people were getting stabbed yeah it wasn't just kind of you know pokey pokey you know people were just

No, this was like prison yard shanking. Yeah, yeah. Rough. I'll go kind of in the middle. I'm going to say six and a half just because it seems like a safe score for now. And I'll probably change that by the end. All right. Spoilers.

Let me say off top, they did not spend no money. The aging succeed over it at all. Yeah, no kidding. This don't seem to have aged. And, like, I get that it's, you know, this person has, like, a psychotic thing where she sees him. But really? We're doing, we're going supernatural now. Like, we're adding this whole element.

I don't know. They did in three. Yeah, but I hated that movie. I'm not swaying you already. Not with that. Now, I mean, I thought the Billy Limit stuff, I actually, I was like, well, I mean, they, it didn't look. look great, but it didn't look terrible. He was only in, like, mirror and window reflections, so it wasn't that.

I didn't hate what they did with the killer because they did tell you who he was, but again, it was kind of like that poison scene in the Princess Bride where, well, they're telling you who he is, so it obviously can't be that guy. But they're just throwing you off the track. They nodded at each other when they first met. Yeah. Really? Well, Sam literally walks out of the fucking hospital room, turns around, and Jack Quaid is there, and he's like, hey, it's me.

He's a son of a bitch. There he is. Always the nice guy. Of course. Why would you ever, like, I've shocked my wife walking around the corner, and she's like, oh, and I never say, it's okay, it's me. She fucking knows it's me. I just surprised her. Like, it's just such a weird thing to say.

Well, you're not in a horny. True, true. yet um yeah no but i and he even alluded to that like when when he found out that when we found out that he was the killer he was like i know it's me it sucks but it works right and uh i it was very self-aware maybe even too meta for its own good but like like the killer that that messed up um terra in the beginning of the movie right because jack quit at this point is hanging out in Modesto with Sam.

So that ain't him. And I don't know if that little girl is doing all that damage. I just can't see it. It's a good point. And also, she's not, she's barely taller than fucking Tara. And in the opening scene, the ghost face is towering above her. So it's like, I just get a little confused on like the,

I mean, I guess that's the way the movie wants you to feel, right? It wants you to get confused on who it could be. But it just, I don't know. Like, I thought, I thought Amber was, it was almost like too easy. Like, they introduced the whole group of friends, and they're all bubbly and weird, and then there's her. And I'm like, ugh, it's going to be her. It's obvious it's her. And they're going to try to make me think, no, it's not her because it's obvious, but it's going to be fucking her.

And it was. Well, of course. She's the crazy one from Once Punk Time in Hollywood. She even died the same way. Yeah. Which is the part where I literally. legitimately laughed. Once she caught on fire and started screaming, I lost it.

That was fucking hilarious to me. Oh, is that? I ever saw Once Upon Time, so that's like a thing she does? Yeah. Same, she basically plays the same character in the third act as she

did in the third act of Once Upon a Time in Hollywood and dies the same way with the screaming and the flailing of the knife and all that. It was it. It was kind of great. That part was funny to me. I do appreciate them finally killing another legacy character

the way they did Dewey, because his death was pretty brutal. Yeah. It was, it was brutal. I didn't expect that one. Well, I also didn't expect Ghostface to wear bulletproof vests. Also true. He was updated.

He had a little voice modulator on his mask instead of holding it. That's what Batman uses. Yeah, I don't know, man I mean, Brian, I will give it to you Brian It is brutal Yes Like That stab with the face was great

The stab to the face The stab with that boy from 13 reasons why Who's in all the fucking movies Yeah Slowly through his neck And it pokes out the other side I was like, oh I was just waiting from him to rip it out

Like that was a good one Sideways, you know And just open that whole shit up But That was pretty rough And I kind of felt it when he called the mom You know And she's fucking rushing

back to the house. Yeah. And I was like, you could just tell the adrenaline and all that. And she's running up the stairs and he just pops out from behind a bush. And in broad daylight, we haven't seen that before. Yeah. Broad daylight right in the fucking right in the front yard of somebody's house. Like, good Lord.

Yeah, it seems like somebody would have noticed that. Yeah, like, hey, what the fuck are you doing over there? Pulling out their cell phone. And I did like the, I mean, even though we talked about it, that was way too big to be her as Ghostface in the beginning. but that was brutal the stabbing of Jenna Ortega's character and stomping on her leg and breaking the head.

Oh, when he stomped on her leg, I was like, God damn. Well, and still fought back enough to survive. So she was kind of a badass in the movie. Well, I mean, I don't think they were trying to kill her. Yeah. I mean, they could have. I mean, he was on top of her with a knife. Like, he could have just done it, but he didn't, you know.

or they didn't. I'm not, I guess it was her. But, um, I liked, I liked, I really did like Dewey here.

I liked him his like, because at the end of Scream, I'm having a hard time. I remember, I know at the end of Scream 3 he proposes to Gale. In Scream 4, they were in Scream 4, weren't they?

They were. Yeah. I just don't remember where they ended up after that. I think they were together. It's weird because I actually think I liked scream four and I don't remember anything about it. Yeah, me too. Oh, there was a score Easter Hagan here.

I don't know if you guys seen it. When the Jack Quaid character's doing his research on YouTube, there's a little video on the side of basically saying Hayden Panterre's character survived. Oh. Oh, nice.

Well, I thought it was kind of meta when they did the David Arquette and Courtney Cox talk. you know, of like why they didn't make it. I was like, man, that was, that was a little real. Yeah, you know, it's, it's, that all made sense. For some reason, I didn't remember that Woodsboro was in California. Like, when they were like, like, they're in Modesto, California.

For some reason, in my head, I thought Woodsboro was in Illinois. And I'm just like, they're driving. And I'm like, what the fuck? Why would you drive there? But I guess Woodsboro is like in Central or, gotta be Southern California Well I don't know if it makes me like it anymore

Yeah I just realized I'm not Swain anybody I had fun with it I'm just trying to remember Some of the other Some of the other kills Like there was the brother

That went out To find his girlfriend There was no way to survive that Dude he got Brutalized Like he was losing So much blood from his fucking leg that he

couldn't even walk straight and he get stabbed like five more times. Didn't he live in the end of it? Yeah. That's another thing about this movie. They hardly kill anybody. They killed David Arquette, but everybody else lives. I guess the

Westboy and his mom, they didn't make it out. Yeah. Rough family tree they got. And she was in the first screen movie, I think. She was one of the cops with Dewey. Oh, okay. Well, he's no doofy, but I thought Kevin Arquette, or David Arquette kind of stole his show. I mean, and I did actually, Ryan, I did actually really like the whole hospital scene with Gen O'Ortega getting into the wheelchair, and, you know, she had a knife go through her hand, which was awesome in the beginning.

And she's trying to wheel herself around and there's blood all over the wheelchair from her, you know, struggling with that. I thought that whole scene was pretty good. I don't know why David Arquette didn't stand up and shoot him in the head right away. Right. Where was all the hospital workers? I'm saying. Like, I do work in hospitals. It is never, ever that quiet.

So. Yeah. I mean, I like that it went back to go shooting because, like, you always shoot him in the head. Because that's what I was thinking. I was like, you're just going to leave him there. This is, you're just breaking all the rules. And that was definitely. Immediately.

that was definitely not Jack Quaid because he was there so that was definitely the little girl so I'm just like I'm trying to figure out how like she's dumbass strong she's dumb ass strong she's taking those protein shakes I did like how when she killed him when she killed him she was like this it's an honor

I was like that's kind of cool that was a good scene that yeah you're right that whole scene was pretty was pretty good. They kind of nailed that. It was just like when they were sitting down talking to each other and throwing jokes back and forth. But like they still have the serious music playing in the background and it just wasn't as funny as I think it should have been. Well, it's just like when Sam goes to meet with David Arquette, she's like, let's do this together.

I'm like, do what? You're not talking about doing anything. You're talking about like surviving. I don't know. Do what? And then they go meet up with the friends and everyone calls each other the killer and then they leave. I'm just like, what is the goal? Like, you're not doing anything. You're just standing around talking to each other and pointing fingers.

And I like the, uh, I did like the movie nerd in this one, but her kill scene was kind of dumb. She didn't die either. Oh, she didn't die. You're right. No. The scene where she got attacked, you know, like, uh. Oh, that's the scene. that whole thing that happened off camera.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they wanted to think maybe she was still involved. Yeah. She's telling fucking, she's talking to fake Randy on the movie stab. Turn around, bro. Turn around. Like, oh, man.

Of course. I don't know. This movie's a six. Yeah. We brought you down. I still have fun, though. okay to be high on it. I just...

Yeah, but realistically, this movie's a six. Like, and then the whole thing at the end where they're just fucking going on and on about how you have to make these movies and, like, even Jack Quaid's like, what about my ending?

Like, what? Like, what? What? Yeah. So confusing. Like, I want that fucking dad with the ball gag from scary movie to come popping out.

Like, where's he at? The crack thing. Oh, the bastard He hugged He had drugs throughout the entire house And then, you know, it was kind of cool at the end Where it's all in at Stu's house You know, because like, and they do that slow reveal

Where you find that out And then it does like the camera pan around And it's like, oh shit It is But like, of course it fucking is My wife called that one pretty early Like when they were hanging out on the catch and talking She was like, that's the same now

I was like, is it? Sure enough. Is that also the house where, didn't Rose McGowan get it at Stu's house in the garage door? That was at Stu's house. Yeah. So they were down in that same garage. See, but then I get all the movies mixed up because I was like, yeah, they did the garage desk thing with the fat girl.

Oh, wait, that was a scary movie. Yeah, but the garage door just malfunctioned and everything fell apart. That show was funny. Can't make that joke today either. Nope. But I did like, you know, how kind of everything happened at the end, except for the fact that, you know,

they light old girl on fire and shoot her in the face. And then they're just kind of hanging out in the kitchen. Nev Campbell and Courtney Cox just kind of rubbing elbows while this other main fucking fight is happening throughout the entire house around them. And it isn't until she shoots him that they come stumbling out of the fucking thing. And they have that little Avengers moment where they all stand next to each other? And I was like, where to fuck were you the last five minutes?

You were just standing in the kitchen? But didn't you hear them fall over the stairs? I'm not going under a six. I think I'm going to stick with my six and a half. I wanted to like this more. more than I did. And like my biggest, I guess my biggest gripe is I go, all right, well, these guys did ready or not, which was great, right? But is this movie better than ready or not? Not even close. You know?

Well, I mean, that had some of our weaving, so. Yeah. And it was kind of original, which, you know, obviously this one wasn't, which was kind of the point of it, but still. It's funny. It's funny. There was like news articles that were coming out a couple weeks ago. In the new screen movie, Ghostface has a metal mask and there's like fire and all stuff.

And I was like, ooh, that looks, that's new. That's cool. Turns out it's just some like bullshit trailer for Stab 8 where everyone's mad about it. I was like, ah. I wanted to see that though. Just call it Stab 8. Everyone knows it Stab 8. And I'm totally one of those internet fuckers on that.

that video too right now. Oh, yeah. Oh, well. They nailed it. Yeah. They nailed it. It just wasn't as good as I wanted it to be. I think I'm going to stick with my six and a half.

Still a four. All right. Still a four. So scream is okay. Nothing tops scream. Scream one. Yeah. It tops it.

All right. any last words on screen go watch I think we like we buried it enough yeah I'm sorry Brian I didn't mean it should on your good time

all right well Steve thanks for joining us again where can our listeners find you just anywhere you get your podcast look up the league of geeks that's Geeks of the Z and we're on Facebook Instagram

all that good stuff And every Saturday at 8 o'clock at night, Pacific time, we do a live show. Usually goes for around two hours. And we talk about pretty much what you guys talk about, what we watched. Movie news. We have a toy box segment where we show off what we bought this week and statues and comic books and what have you. And it's a good time. So head on over to YouTube, League of Geeks, and check us out on Saturdays at 8 p.m. Pacific time.

Cool, cool. Well, dude. All right. Well, as always, we want to thank you for listening to another episode of The Horror Returns. We'd love to hear your feedback and ideas. You can always reach us at The Horror Returns at gmail.com. Or check us out on our brand new website, www.thehorrorreturns.com. And follow all of our social media leaks from there, as well as hear the latest episode of the show.

Also, look for us on Apple Podcasts, and if you like what you hear, please rate us and review us. next week we're going to announce the winner of our t-shirt contest we'll also do a commentary for new year's evil all right uh so until the horror returns again brian