The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #304: Irish Folk Horror - The Devil’s Woods (2015) & The Hallow (2015)

Episode Date: March 21, 2022

We continue the St. Patrick's Day party this week with some Irish folk horror from 2015. Cool of the week includes The Seed, From, and Archive 81. Trailers this week are Watcher, The Cellar, The Innocents, and Umma. The podcast spotlight shines on The Horror Friendly Podcast. And we get feedback from Xim Vader and Franklin Correa. Thanks for listening! www.thehorrorreturns.com Patreon https://www.patreon.com/thehorrorreturns Facebook https://www.facebook.com/thehorrorreturns/ Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/1056143707851246/ Twitter https://twitter.com/horror_returns?s=21 Instagram https://instagram.com/thehorrorreturns?utm_medium=copy_link SK8ER Nez Podcast Network https://www.podbean.com/pu/pbblog-p3n57-c416/ E Society https://anchor.fm/esoc E Society YouTube Channel https://youtube.com/channel/UCliC6x_a7p3kTV_0LC4S10A

I'm Chris Owen, and you are listening to The Horror Returns. Greetings, victims. For those of you who delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify go. Welcome. You have found a place where the horror returns. Listeners, beware,

This podcast contains major plot spoilers and the foulest of language. Join us in celebrating the old and the new, the best, and the worst in horror. All right, welcome back one and all to The Horror Returns. I'm Lance, and with me as always are my co-host, Brian and Philip. How's it going, guys? It is gone. I was doing yard work all day. Brian, you there yet where you can go out there and fertilize the yard and shorts?

I have a guy to do that, so. Okay. Do none of that. But no, we're not close to that. It keeps snowing, and then the weather gets super warm where everything melts, and then a couple days later it snows again. So our weather's been super off this year. Yeah, well, you know, is it going to, like, is it,

it warming up any there or is it still pretty much cold day and night? It's warm. Well, probably cold to you guys, but I mean, I got a hoodie on right now, but I'm shorts outside. So the snow should be all gone by next month. All right. That's a real man outside in the snow and shorts. Oh, that's how I live my life, shorts. Yeah, I do too, but it's a little different when it's 100 degrees versus 30. All right. You guys ready to jump in Cool of the Wheat? Yep. I guess I can go first. I only got two things.

Nice. All right. Of course, you know, Amityville Watch. I'm not going to really talk about this one much because I'm committed. I'm not a quitter. No shit. That's shitty as hell. This one actually wasn't bad. I'm not going to talk about it because you can go over on Nez's network. for 31. It's the Amityville murders. It's the actual case. That actually sounds like it could be good. Yeah. It's pretty decent. They kind of touch on the fact that it might not have been

supernatural because there was evidence that the father of the Defeo family, that he owed money to some bad people, and that's who came and killed everybody. Because if you remember, How the murders went, everybody was shot in their bed, and they're like, well, how did nobody wake up when the first person got shot? And the theory is that people, multiple people came in the house and shot everybody instead of, you know, one bedroom at a time. Okay. So. That probably makes more sense, but it's not near as fun. Yeah.

And, you know, we wouldn't have had this amazing Amityville franchise that's never ending, which I just saw on IMDB. there will be more Amityville. The Amityville Thanksgiving coming soon. Commentary. It's got votes out there, Jason Turkeys and shit. Commentary coming soon. Ah, okay. Well, we'll keep our ear to the ground for that one.

I'm still waiting on Amityville in space. That one looks completely horrible. Is that a real thing? Yeah. Jesus Christ. I'm convinced it's the name Amityville. like, I don't know the word for it. Like how anybody can sing

Happy Birthday and not be sued for it. I think anybody can do an Amityville. Public availability or whatever. Yeah, I think that's Amityville. Okay, makes sense. Amityville in the hood. Already watch that one. I already watched that one.

Yeah, Jen Nagel was in that, right? Yeah, Jen Nangle's in it. So that's why I said watch that one to support her. but if she wasn't in it, you can skip that one. How about the Amityville Lepricon? Is there an Amityville Lepricon? There will be now you put it in the universe. I think the only thing I, I think you and me touched on this earlier, the seed, Lance.

Yes, yes, yes. I was bored with most of this. It took a long time for it to get where it needed to go. Okay. All right. I got bored. I mean, this is strange to say, but, you know, hot women talking about their Instagram pictures and stuff for almost 45 minutes.

I was just kind of like, come on, get gone. It's an alien monster land. Too much talking and too many clothes. Yeah, there you go. When the alien came and started laying his seed. Yes. This is the right way to say. that's when it kind of picked up for me.

So I would definitely say I like the second half more than the first half. All right. Fair enough. The first half just dragged. But second half, it was interesting. Got a little gory there in the second half, some good practicals. So I think for that, it's worth the watch. And it's on Shutter or AMC Plus. So what's the cool of the week?

Let me double check because I kind of. I don't want to say that movie. I guess I'm going to have to say that movie. I didn't watch anything. All right. Well, I'll jump in. You're going to say The Seed? Yeah.

Oh, no. Okay. All right. Shit. You have to settle. Are you not watching any series or anything, Brian? Oh, I don't know if I, did I mention I talked about from on epics? You mentioned it a little bit last time.

Yeah. It kind of makes me want to get into Lost because it's by the same people. Right. Well, it has that lost feel, but also, like I was saying earlier, I think it has, I feel like it's a Stephen King feel. And my brother just got epics, and he shared his password with me. So I will be finishing it. Great pacing. They don't answer all the questions right away.

They kind of leave you. Okay. Wanted to go to the next episode. I told my wife, I was like, check out the first episode. I think you'll watch it. And then she binged the first seven episodes. Nice. Yeah, we watched the first episode.

episode because Amazon gave it to you as a freebie. But now that I've got an Epic's login, we're going to check out the rest. Cool. So I'll go with From because I don't want to say the seat. Okay. I forgot about that one. I watched Archive 81 on Netflix. Oh, yeah.

You guys seen that at all? It's on the list. It's on the docket. Yeah. It's not bad. It's a little slow moving and kind of, kind of like lost in the way that they present you more problems than solutions

in the beginning and so you're kind of guessing all the way through so I was thinking man they really got to stick the landing in this one and uh boy they definitely swung for the fences on it at least it was it was not bad I enjoyed it they went a little nuts at the end and I kind of like that all right well that's nice maybe not as satisfying as I wanted the ending to be right

Okay. But maybe they're setting it up for some future stuff. Now, is that on Netflix? Yeah. I think it's a Netflix original. Well, I'm not sure. Yeah, I think so. Yeah.

See, Netflix has a lot of great stuff, guys, but I might be canceling my Netflix account. Reason being, I don't know how they're going to do it, but I read an article that you're not going to be able to watch it from different households now because they're trying to cut down on. So if that's the case, because I watch. it, my son watches it, my daughter watches it, and the kids upstairs watch it, right? So I don't mind paying the fucking twenty something dollars a month if, you know, I've got my family watching it, but if they can only have one TV. You guys got the email that they're up in the price again. No, in addition to fucking you with not being able to watch it on. I just got an email.

Yeah. The gas prices. Yeah. They got to drive the movies to your house to watch. Sure. Okay. You got to pay the Rock and Ryan Reynolds for all their Netflix movies. Yeah.

And I get that. But for fuck's sake, man, if I can't share it with my... How are they going to do that? They're going to have it where it's literally just one user now? I don't know. I'm sure there's ways around it. There's smart people out there. Yeah, I was good say.

So what if you're... I'm actually you can pull it off in the same household. Well, yeah, but, dude, what if you're on vacation in Florida, right? And so you're at an Airbnb in Florida? You want to watch your Netflix? You mean to tell me you can't log in? I got to see how this thing goes, man. I might just, you know.

Yeah. Cobra Kai was probably the last thing I watched on Netflix, and that was, what, December? Yeah, I'm watching it right now. I'm late to the party, but I'm finally on Cobra Chi. Oh, it's so good. That's awesome. I got me a Cobra Kai t-shirt.

Yeah? Eagle Fang? It's an Eagle Fang t-shirt. It's just so fucking funny, man. Yeah. You're a cool kid, Philip. Eagles don't have fangs. I didn't tell that kid to shut up.

Put this shirt on. Yeah, that. And I'm still stuck on UFO shit. Naked and afraid, man. Oh, I fucking love that show. People who probably.

probably should be in UFOs mentally. Well, yeah, and there's a ton of UFO documentaries I've been watching. One of them on YouTube, no, not YouTube, Hulu, I think it is. Okay. And it's just called UFO. It's produced by Oliver Stone, I think. Holy shit. Yeah, that one's not bad.

Okay. It's kind of like most of the other cheesy UFO documentaries you see, except this one actually is okay, here's stories from people who are legit, things that we know. And then they just do some animation and shit over top of it.

But the animation and this one's pretty good. That last one I recommended the animation was terrible. Yeah, but it's not just for the animation, right? You're watching it for the story too. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I like to make my own theories about it as it goes along.

Gotcha. All right. So Archive 81? Yeah, I think that was definitely my cool week. I was impressed with it. Real quick, I watched that, what was it, hell is empty? I just remember that. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Not bad.

Pretty good. For the interview last just did. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Religious people are fucking terrifying sometimes. So just leave it at that. Yes, and especially chain smoking religious leaders, right? Yeah.

Because I don't think there was a scene where that dude didn't have a fucking cigarette, did he? No. No. Yeah, that was an impressive movie, man. Good production value. I was pleasantly surprised. Yep. And you can catch our interview up right now.

If you want to listen to us, talk to the writer, director, and main actress. Yeah. So I'm going to circle back around for my cool of the week, Brian, because to me, the seed hit all the notes I was looking for, man. I understand what you're saying. about it being like really, really slow. I would even say for the first two acts, it's like super slow even when like the first girl gets affected or whatever.

But goddamn, dude, I thought it was really good special effects, man. I really enjoyed what they did. And I don't know if I've ever seen a woman have sex quite that way where you're like literally in the middle of a big old batch of goo or slime and like orgasming with your legs spread apart. She was enjoying that. enjoying it. So, uh, I don't know, man. I thought it was fun. It was a, it was a good treat. You know,

I didn't have to leave the house to watch it. It was on shutter. It took too long to just get to the I'm okay with that, dude. Yeah, but it was only, Brian, it was an hour and a half movie, dude. Come on, man. I know, and it took 45 minutes to get there. And then the, all right, well, the main, not the main girl, but one of the three girls was, so unlikable. Was she? Yeah, but they were, but they They were all at least cute, man. Yeah, I guess. Well, you know, dude, they had to spend... She wasn't cute by the end.

They had to spend 20 minutes explaining why their cell phones wouldn't work, right? And they couldn't get Wi-Fi. So, you know, that's necessary in all movies now. It's a main plot point. Exactly. I liked it. Fun. Just put it back in the past.

The four cell phones. That's the easy way out. Oh, I thought that one kid, though, the dude that was doing the yard, that was a was like some of the worst fucking acting that I've seen since to Jennifer or whatever it was called. He was clearly the director's brother or something.

Yeah, that was bad. Really bad. But I thought the acting from the girls was pretty good, man. Especially the one that, I guess, like, the main blonde hot chick, the one that was the big influencer. Oh, she was in a...

No, I liked her acting, dude. Like when she started screaming for no reason and staring off into space. She did what she needed to do. I agree with that, but I just, I didn't want to listen to it for that long. All right, man. Fair enough. Fair enough.

That's cool of the week. We got any headlines? Yeah, we're going to start with TV. True Detectives coming back. Really? It's been a while. They are retitling it, True Detective Night Country. And have you guys ever seen a film called Tigers Aren't Alone?

Yes. It was on Shudder. The director, Issa Lopez, is writing and directing the new season of True Detective. So it'll be very depressing. Probably. Lots of children in peril. Who's in it? They haven't announced.

Oh, okay. This was as we're recording, it's just announced today. But probably different people than. any of the other seasons. Yeah. Will they be masking and social distancing? Probably not.

Nobody is, so. Greg Nicotero, Lance will direct the series finale of the Walking Dead. Ah, okay, good, good. As it should be, right? And we already know

who all's not going to die because they've got spin-off shows coming. So who really gives a fuck at this point? Just like any good junkie, I'll continue watching them all. We talked about they confirmed Scream 6. Courtney Cox is confirmed to come back. And the release date is March 31st, 2023.

I'm convinced Courtney Cox is dead and something has an happy. The seed. You know, she looks at the star show, Shining Bell, she looks a lot better than she did in screen. I don't know they made her look like that for screen for some reason, but... The swelling goes down eventually before they go back from new shots. True. We got a release date on the Resident Evil Netflix series, July 14th. Okay.

Hope it's better than the last movie. Hopefully so. I got to look back. I know we had a couple weeks with... No news. Oh, we're going to talk about the, well, when we get to it, Ty West's X. He recently screened it at South by Southwest,

and I guess he showed, I don't know if he showed the whole movie or a clip, but they secretly filmed a prequel to the movie. Oh, yes, I heard about that with Mia goth in it, right? Yeah, which my wife pointed out that she has no eyebrows. Okay. I couldn't stop looking when I noticed she had no eyebrows. Yeah, but it's a 70s.

You know, they're filming a porno in the 70s, Philip, so you can guarantee that they won't be manscaped. You'll be able to see if the carpet matches the drapes. Let's put it that way. See a lot of... Not anything else. Yeah, right. Seen a lot of Kid Cuddy's ass in that movie.

Right. Well. I wasn't sold the floor, but now. I'm trying to go back a couple weeks. I think that might be it. Is that it for the news? Yeah, nothing really big. All right.

Philip, you ready to go to the trailer park? Let's go. All right, Brian, bring us the big, the small, and yeah, there's some weird in here this week, right? Yep. And the dog agrees. Uh-oh. These are all movies that just recently screened at South by Southwest over the past couple weeks.

First one is Watcher. This is from director Chloe Okuno. She did that VHS 94 segment with the Rat Monster. You got to see that one? Oh, yeah, Ratma. Ratma or whatever. Let's go with the synopsis. young woman moves into a new apartment with her

fiance only to be tormented by the feeling that she is being stalked by an unseen watcher in an adjacent building. Well, definitely seen that before. I'm only going to say, make a Monroe's

in this because you don't really see anybody else. Okay. So, this movie kind of gives me the vibes that maybe nobody's watching her. Ah, all in her mind. Yeah. Right. The woman in the window next to the boy in the door, in the bubble, in the cake,

and the... Two windows down from the person on the left of the person in the bus. Isn't that Netflix show? Something like that. The trailer gives me nothing to make me want to watch it, but I did hear this was kind of the crowd liked it at South by Southwest, so maybe they're just not giving us everything. South West Southwest is in Austin, Phillips,

so maybe they were all stoned. Well, yeah, but as long as they didn't fall asleep during this movie. Yeah, right. I thought it looked boring as hell. There's nothing interesting to me at all. I can't believe it's coming to the theaters. In this trailer? There's got to be more to it than they should.

Yeah, it looks pretty, pretty lackluster to me, boys. Yeah. I'm not excited for this one. on the strength of me liking the director's segment in VHS 94 and I do like I do like I don't even know if that's how you pronounce her name Mika Micah Munro she was in It Follows and the

Oh yeah she used to be really big in a lot of horror movies for a while Yeah so off of that I'll watch it But this this trailer was more like a one minute teaser And it just of her looking over her shoulder and thinking she's seen somebody that just didn't really do anything for me.

I've seen that fucking story too many times. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure they're doing something different with it, but I hope so. This is getting a June 3rd release. So, I'll probably let you guys know how it is. Next one.

I'm sure we'll watch it. is it on Netflix or oh I think it's a theater release it okay it might be VOD because I've seen

midnight and they do a lot of BOD but it might go both okay that movie's not gonna make any money in the theater no you don't think so

no okay well I heard studio 666 didn't make as much money and that movie was fantastic yeah

didn't. Oh, yeah. It's worth the watch regardless of how much money it made. Yeah, I definitely need to go see it. It's available. That's all I needed to know. HD. Ah, okay.

All right. The next one is The seller. This is directed by Brendan Maldowny and stars Elijah Cuthberth. And watching this, she forgive me, but she has gotten old.

Yeah. I didn't even recognize her. She's the mom? Right. That means we are getting old. She is now playing mom rolls. The synopsis, Keira Woods' daughter mysteriously vanishes in the cellar of their new house.

She soon discovers there's an ancient and powerful entity controlling that home and that she has to face. Yada, yada, yada, evil. This didn't catch me either. Daughter goes, like you've said it about the other movie, Phil.

I felt like I've seen this story before. Yeah, probably a lot. She most likely got lost in the doorway to another dimension. Okay. mom Elijah Cuthbert's just going to be chasing around the house looking for her sure the son's going to get lost because you know they're going to completely forget they have another child and right like poltergeist yeah you know what I get the poultry gas vibe a little bit Phil but

I also got the vibe of like the the book house of leaves the one that they tried to make that terrible fucking movie with God damn it I can't remember who was in it. We're either in the house where they measure it and it's bigger on the inside than the outside and there's an alternate dimension. Kevin Bacon?

The one with Kevin Bacon. Yeah. I never watched that. So terrible. The house on the other side of the lawn or... That's why I never watched it because you guys both said it was terrible. Yeah, yeah. But the book was good. House of Leaves was good. It was like in the same into madness. Great idea.

done horribly. Well, maybe this will rectify that situation, you know, if it's the same basic plot structure, but it's actually good. Yeah, this one's getting a different release. This got snatched up by shutter. Ah, so we will watch it. April 15th.

Cool. Yeah, and this one's kind of interesting to me. It does look like I've seen this movie a million times before, but I just like the premise better. then, you know, as long as there's some supernatural shit going on and not just some dude is following you, because I really don't care. Agreed. This guy keeps thinking at me. I don't care.

It's over there. Wait, he's not over there. I feel like there's going to be a lot of that. Yeah. I'm not crazy. We're going to hear that a bunch, too. our third trailer is a new Nordic film The Innocence

This one actually looked pretty cool Yeah The synopsis goes During the bright Nordic summer A group of children reveal That they have a dark and mysterious They have dark and mysterious powers With the adults aren't

When the adults aren't looking In the original and gripping super They're throwing in Trying to sell you in the synopsis I'm not going to run out of that. The synopsis, this is the elevator pitch, huh? Out of respect, I'm not even going to try to read these names. A bunch of consonants all shoved together.

And they all got three names. All right. A bunch of jays and zs and shit all in there. This looked interesting to me. These looked like they're either mutants, like the X-Man, or, um, Something from some characters that the people from Stephen King's The Shop are trying to get kind of like a fire starter. So I'm all in on this one. Yeah, I'm into, this looks like, of course, giving children, young children, these kind of powers.

You know, something can go terribly wrong, super quick, which I think it'll probably happen. Yeah, my only concern with it is subtitles, but normally it's never as bad as I think it's going to be. Yeah, agreed. You just kind of got to be in the mood for it, you know? Let's see if the director has done anything we've seen. What language are they even speaking? It says Nordic summer. It takes place during the Nordic summer, so.

They dug up some ancient Nordic language. The director's from Oslo, Norway. Oh, okay. All right, so we're going to move on to the last trailer, is in theaters as we speak, new release. And that is Uma, which I am half Korean, and that is Korean for mom. Let's see.

Synopsis, Amanda and her daughter live a quiet life on an American farm, but when the remains of her estranged mother arrived from Korea, Amanda becomes haunted by the fear of turning into her own mother. I think that's a fear everybody has. Yeah. Join the club. She's anything like my mother. I'd be scared to.

This star is... Where did my page go? Sandra O. Sandra O's a great actress. That's a big one. Yeah. Right. Yeah, it's a big name.

IMDB's doing that weird thing where Sandra O is like seventh build. Really? Yeah. Because she was all up in the trailer. Dermont Maroney. I haven't seen him since we interviewed young guns. Was it Dermott Maroney or Dillon McDermott? Because, you know, those two get confused a lot.

I'm always excusing him. Which one's Dylan McDermott? Is he the... They're the same person, I think. Isn't he the American Horror Story guy? I thought that was Dermott Mouroni. I don't know. It's not something about Mary.

Oh, that's Matt Dillon. Never mind. Oh, okay. Dermont Moroni. Yeah, he's in this. This is directed by Iris K. Shrem, and she has directed Nothing I recognize. Okay, well, got to give him a chance.

Dermont Mulroney, yeah, he's like that guy that he's seen in a hundred days. Yeah, every once in a while, right? He'll pop up. Actually, my daughter saw him. in a Starbucks when they were filming, I guess, near Georgetown or something like that. So, you know, there you go. Take a picture of him.

Did she say, can you give me an autograph, Dylan McDermott? Yeah, I think so. And he proceeded to spill his Starbucks coffee owner. Yeah, I got to see this trailer in the theater, and it looked like it'd be pretty good. I'm very interested to see what this how her mother was because she is definitely

this was somebody you can tell she spent her entire life trying to stay away from and not even mentioning it to her daughter. So definitely and it kind of hits home because some of the cultural things that happened in the movie I can understand what's going on and

definitely I'm going to check this out. I don't know what's up. Yeah, don't know what's up with the bees. You can't drive your car into a beekeepers home or something? I don't know if you guys remember that in the trailer. I don't know, man. Bees get a bad rap, man. I've known a couple of people that have been beekeepers either because they wanted the honey

or because they wanted to get like an ag exemption on their taxes. I don't know that bees suck. Yeah, from what I understand, man, if you work around them all the time, they're not really that aggressive. And I guess you can use them a little smoke or something. Oh, well, fuck, never mind. You must have sweet blood or something. Something happened when I was a child. Hornet you got to look out for.

Ouch. What's that, Phil? It's the hornet you got to look out for them. Yeah, fuck, hornet, man. We had one of them. They built their little nest like in the corner. preface of our front door frame. Yeah. Like a little opening

and would never come out, but then when you open the front door, then that's when all of a sudden they want to start swarming around. If I can dive bombing you, huh? Hornets. Tomicazi style. But I definitely am going to watch this.

Like I said, there's a lot of things that hit home for me, and it looked creepy enough, and it's in the theaters. And I'm going to try to have a review. for you guys next episode because I still need to see this and the Batman

which hopefully I'm going to go watch that tonight. Oh dude you got to watch the back. You still haven't seen the Batman? My wife wants to go. She's been going to the movies with me. She went to go see X, which I told her what it was about and I didn't think she was going to go watch it.

Yeah, AJ and I had a date night with X too. So I guess when we review it, we'll talk about how the wives felt about it. Yeah, it's a good idea. But yeah, I'm definitely going to check this out. And I think Sandra O's a good actress.

Yeah. Cool. Yeah, I like her. Asian horror is always cool. I like it when they go back into like traditional shit that I don't know about and explain it. So I'm excited. We're all going to give this one to watch. Are you going to try to work it in the schedule, Brian?

Or is it already out? It came out. same day as X. Okay, so let me see if I can find it at the one AMC that sometimes shows indie stuff. Maybe a bonus episode, maybe? Yeah, if I can get to it this week, I will. I'm taking a look right now. All right, that was the last trailer.

All right, on to listener feedback. This week, the podcast Spotlight shines on the horror-friendly podcast. Welcome to the horror-friendly podcast, exploring the horror genre one film at a time with one novice and two enthusiasts. Catch it every other week. Hey, that's like what we do on our show. Three novice, right? Or two novice and Brian. Regarding Escape the Field, Franklin Correa says, I've never heard about this one, but it looks really interesting. What is that, Brian? It's a movie.

I don't know. It's a poster look. The most dangerous game and yet another retelling of that, or what? It's a bunch of people on a poster, and there's like a field in the background. Okay. There was no trailer with it, so I just posted a poster. It's like a sequel to the Field of Dreams. Oh, wow.

This time Kevin Costor's character is dead. He's the ghost. He's the bad guy. Oh, no. All right, and we got some feedback from Zim Vader. He says, hey Lance, listening to the Leopardcon episode. You said to let you know what I thought was underwhelming about from dust till dawn. It was just regarding the poster art you guys posted, the film itself is fantastic.

Okay. So it's not the movie, it's us. Mystery solved. And send us some more feedback, guys. need to leave me stuttering on here for a little longer. Man, that's a bone dry feedback segment this week. It was. That was some extra.

Everybody on spring break or what? Yeah, well, that happens. They definitely are down here. Fucking traffic sucks. Yeah. Oh, it's easy up here, dude, but I'm going to be working from home this week. We had a case up at the office, so they gave us the option. So option, let's see, work at home.

Or 70-mile commute. Uh-huh. That was a tough one. I don't know why they don't just let you work at home anyway. Did we not? I probably could. I'll at least learn that little bit. It was okay.

Although, you know, I always want to work home. Right. Yeah, I like to get out once in a while. All right. Well, that's it for feedback. Our show comes from, our show intro comes from Steve Carlton of the League of Geeks with a Z. The Geeks. Geeks.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. We got to change that. Rebranded. That's right. Yeah, they're on episode two now. Yeah, new name, new logo. They still, they've been having some problems getting their feet up on like certain platforms.

Because of, I forgot what they said, the size of the, their logo to upload. Yeah, the story of our life and trying to make new t-shirt design. right? Yeah, so, but you can go to YouTube and watch all their live streams. Check them out. The Geeks. Our artwork, as always, comes from Natsulani, so check her out on Instagram. And if you'd like to help us out, please consider becoming a Patreon patron. We'll let you pick the movies for a future show at any amount, and for $5 or more a month, also pick a commentary for a future bonus show.

And if you have a chance, please give us a five-star Apple podcast review, and you could win some cool shit. The aforementioned T-shirt would be one of them. It is pretty cool. All right, Tavares, I'm going to hook you up, man, because I don't think I'm going to be able to get that red teeth logo. Brian, I've tried and tried, man. Just we got to figure, we've got to get an artist on board to help us here. Who knows? We're reaching out.

which of our listeners knows how to help us with artwork and centering and getting it in the right file and shit like that to upload it to a t-shirt reach out if you can help us you'll definitely get a t-shirt. We'll cut you in on the billions.

Steve, I know you're listening. I know you're listening. You're an artist. Help us out, please. Yeah, please. All right. And on to our our featured attraction. This week, it's St. Patty's Day as we delve into Irish folk horror with the devil's

woods and the hallow. No leopard, why did you say, I thought you were going to do a pirate there. Ar the hallow. No, like a half-ass thought about doing an Irish thing and then I was like, fuck, I can't help and raise that. Decided to go with pirate instead. Okay.

Yeah. Well. Close enough. It does sound pirate, though. They had pirates. Right, Irish pirates. Maybe an Irish pirate. All right.

So we're going to start with the devil's woods. Both these movies were in 2015, if you're looking for them. The Devil's Woods is on Tooby. And the hallow. And that says a lot. Yeah. The hallow is shutter. right yes yeah okay all right so we'll start with the devil's woods that just sounds bad

okay a a group of friends trying to repair their strained relationships decide to spend the weekend camping at a music festival i didn't get the straight relationships a plot i didn't get that either are we what did we watch the right movie brian i don't is this the right What happened? Yes, they were going to a music festival. Ah, okay. You guys remember they were like, we're going to camp out, we're going to listen to music. Yeah, I got that.

Where was the fucking festival? They were going to, well, we're jumping into the review already. They were going to stay in that, I guess it was a castle. Okay. For what was left of a castle. It was tiny stonehenge. Oh, yeah. In danger of me.

He had Crespa and dwarf. All right. Well, in route, they stop off at a small town in the middle of rural Ireland. That's hard to say. Rural Ireland. It's a lot of ours all together. Rule Ireland. However, the seemingly idyllic country town is darkened by a history of strange events.

Can a town that is inherently eat? evil literally tear them apart? Can they survive the devil's woods? Okay, who wrote that? That was the first fucking description of this movie I've ever read. Writer and director is Anthony

White, also known for shortcuts to hell, and Columbine Bonesaw. Oh, like an interesting movie. Ouch, boy, making a I think making a movie, making fun a Columbine would be a road map to hell, wouldn't it? And Stephen Cromwell was another writer.

During the shoot, the crew drove past the dead fox on the road. Seeing this, director, Anthony White, used the opportunity to pay homage to the famous armadillo scene from Texas. Oops, excuse me, sorry. From Texas chainsaw masquer. There was a lot of homageous to horror movies in this. Yeah, sure. you had a little damn it

what was the guy's name? Oh Captain Spalding Captain Spalding there you go Captain Spalding Bobblehead And when they I looked at the Going where do I get that They

They seen the locals They made the Deliverance reference Oh yeah Yeah that was over the top I mean A little bit on the nose Right?

because he literally said squeal like a pig or something like that. Yeah, I mean. He was playing the banjo thing. Right. That was a guitar. Let's see. Actual pig hearts and innards were used by the special effects department. My number one, the song that is playing in the drug dealer's apartment,

also features in Dario Argencho's trauma. So there again. More love for the horse. genre, Brian. What drug deal? The guy they were doing drugs with? I thought that was them. Wasn't that just the two friends?

I thought it was, but I think the guy in the beginning, I think he was just coming to do a couple lines. Irishman looked the same. Oh, Philip. You're going to get his cancel, man. I'm Irish. I can say it, right? Oh, okay, that's true. That's true.

Somewhere in there, I think, fuck, I don't know. Is your name Philip McKenzie? Or what? Hensley's pretty Irish, I think, English. Yeah, okay. Hadn't spitting a tube and sent that in yet. Right. A little DNA thing. Oh, I've done it.

Yeah, I'm like 87% Irish in UK. Yeah. Like Dublin and London are like where most of my, probably 50% of my people came from. And then a little bit of Viking, of course, with a blonde hair. Oh, that helps. So I can make fun of the fucking Irish all I want to come to think of it. At least it's not completely, here's generic white. Right.

All right. The Devil's Woods. What did you guys think about it? I'll go first. I have to review this on a different level. This is definitely low budget. Yeah, for sure. I'm reading in the trivia that to work around all the actors' schedule,

they work like one day out of a month for a year. Really? Wow. Yeah. And I do appreciate the nods to different movies. You know, you can tell the director was a fan of horror. I do like they work with what they got as far as like the pig hearts and intestines for practical effects. Right.

Yeah. They did a pretty good job at the kills and stuff, considering we're all off-screen. Yeah, I would say I did buy the relationship of the two guys as friends because they felt like they really were friends. I'm sure they really were. I would imagine. The two girlfriends, not so much. But then again, they did kind of come off. They were only friends because of the boyfriends.

So maybe they wouldn't have that kind of relationship that the boyfriends had. Yeah, yeah. It was short and sweet to the point. This was a little over an hour, so it didn't really drag on. But I would have liked more explanation. I'm assuming they were being killed by a cult. I mean, the only thing I can think of is that little ghost story that he told by the campfire. Yeah?

And I can't even remember what it was. It was just like it was a bunch of elites that would come together. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah, the Hellfire Club. Hellfire Club, yeah. Right. And they all got killed and now they hop the woods. I guess.

And is this an Irish folk lore, folk tale or something? what was happening in the woods because... I kind of doubt it. I've seen this movie pop up on different movies for Irish folk horror. Okay. So... Well, it's a stretch. I mean, you had people in fucking costumes that were chanting and shit, so...

Yeah. I did have a good laugh because the first killer that you see, he seems to be unstoppable. Yeah. He's getting hit with everything, but when he gets... Yep. He was just like, oh! Well, plus they sped up the footage just a little bit when she kicked him in the...

Yeah, I think so. They played fast and loose with the photography. He's a little Benny Hill all of a sudden. I think for what they did and the money they had to spend on it, I think they did a okay job. It's not the greatest thing I've seen. It's certainly not the worst thing I've seen. Okay. All right.

What do you think? Dude, Philip, you and I could have made this movie, man, when we were at Rock La Hama, because this was kind of like the same thing. We're just go out into the woods. You know, of course, they dragged their women along. We didn't have to drag our women along. They weren't going to put up with that shit. Sleeping in the fucking tents and mud for, you know, four days.

No, I'm still trying to get my wife to go camping. She's not having it. Yeah, I mean, I can relate. You know, I mean, this is probably how. guys would act, you know, hanging out like this and, you know, dropping a couple of tabs of ecstasy or acid or whatever it was. And the girls weren't too happy about it, which is another reason not to bring women when you go on drug trips.

Word to the wise listeners. You just don't tell them. Yeah, but sometimes it's hard to maintain. Philip, do you remember that time we were at the Renaissance Festival? Yes, I do. And we stumbled upon the Greek, was it the Greek area? Oh, yeah. Stage show, huge production.

Yeah. And I thought, I fucking walked into Vegas or something. And it was probably just some little tiny wooden stage, right? Oh, you don't. Answers and shit. You don't want to be in that mind state in Vegas. I'll tell you that right now. Fear and loathing, right?

That's where that came from. Take advantage of you real quick. Yeah. Stay away from medieval times when you're under the influence. I'll tell you that right now. things become super real super fast yeah and they get mad

when you kill the horses yeah well philip how how long do you think it took for rose to figure out that I was tripping oh I don't know you're pretty fucking loud about it so it

so she was like what let me and then she came and looked at my eyes and she's like your eyes are huge all right so we've so we've we've established

the realism of this movie, right? Like it could really happen. But here's the thing, man, I expected something. I mean, I'm sure this director thought that they were making the next Wicker Man or something like that. I mean, honestly, because you've got those crazy shots early on where it kind of like shows double, you know, double film, film over film. And then you get like the weird colors and they stretch out a couple of the scenes and stuff like that to make it, you know, look like it's a camera person that's really. doing, you know, something that's never been done before in film. But let's face facts, guys.

When you get right down to it, you know, and you come down to the, who the killer is, it's like some fucking, um, it's just some dude out in the woods that's playing like weird 1970s, like folk music or something or like when, well, yeah, what was that? Like candles all over the place and like they kidnapped the chick and I, I don't know. man, I got thrown off. I thought that they, with the same amount of budget, I thought they could have made a more cohesive story. I just, I just kind of thought the story sort of fell apart there. It's like you didn't really have a true, a true, you know, villain or cult or anything to be afraid of. It just looked like a bunch of fucking rednecks out in the woods that were wearing

mask and fucking with people. So I was kind of underwhelmed with it. I was, I was hoping for more. It started out fun. It started out like it was going to be a lot of fun. my calculations are right, calculating Irish pounds to the United States dollars, they barely spent over $1,000 making this movie. Well, shit, okay, so they just went out

for a weekend. Probably, you know, three-fourths of the budget went toward drugs anyway. Yeah. I thought that... Plus you just, yeah, got that friend that knows somebody. Yeah, I thought...

I thought the scene in the pub was, like, completely unnecessary. I mean, what was up with that? The guys, like, making those lewd comments about the guy's girlfriends in front of them. He wanted to blowjob. He wanted to know how much of it was done. I guess so. I can't argue with that logic.

All right, you got me on that one. I don't know, man. To me, this movie sort of was a bit boring. It kind of seemed like much ado about nothing. I mean, at the end, I expected to see, you know, something that was at least going to, you know, echo back. to the Hellfire Club or elite out there in the woods or something like that, but you get these local

rednecks. Even though I said it was short and sweet, like to the point, you know, with it being a little over an hour. If they probably would have spent 15, 20 minutes more, I probably would have enjoyed knowing more about all those people that showed up at the end with the mask.

Yeah, they didn't say a goddamn thing. They were just up there all of a sudden. Yeah. Have they been doing this for years, generations? you know. Yeah. Are they into black magic? Because they had that line when they were burning the girls saying,

now you're going to be here with your friends in the forest forever. So I kind of want to maybe see like people wandering around the forest as ghosts or something. Like they're just trapped in that forest forever. Like maybe we would have seen the girl from the beginning of the movie. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay, I can see that. Look, they were already $200 over budget.

we gotta wrap this thing up guys right and like I said they only had a day out of a month so right yeah how could you even make a cohesive movie dude like you filmed for a day and then 30 days passes and then you're like okay pick up where we left off last time

like where the fuck did we leave off last time I mean I don't know about you guys but my memory's not that good yeah I mean like I said it wasn't bad you know right I've seen worse, you know, with the name to Emily Bell. This is definitely not too Jennifer. But, yeah, it's very low budget. The story is barely there.

Yeah, I guess. It's like they just had to have a reason for them to get to the woods, and then once they got to the woods, there's bad guys. But there's no real explanation for any of it. It's like they were filming themselves going to a music festival and then it was like, you know what we should do? We should make a movie real quick. And that was like the last 20 minutes of the movie. Right. On the way to the festival.

Yeah, because I never saw a music festival, guys. I don't know. Yeah, no. And then, like, yeah, when those guys pop up at the end, like, so I watched it on 2B, and there was a commercial break. And she stabs the first guy after the speedy kick to the nuts, which was hilarious and made the movie. His reaction was hilarious. I was like, oh, so that's your weakness. Oh, I laugh immediately.

Same weakness as every other man. As every other person. Apparently the devil has nuts too, right? So she stabs him, and then she like, is out in the field sort of running away. It cuts the commercial. It comes back. And she's like asleep on the fucking ground.

Yeah, did we miss him? She needed to get her rest. That's the time you want to rest. Don't you still have the keys to the car? I hate to bring this movie up, but that scene, that element in Black Christmas when they were under,

no, where they were. We can't do a show without mentioning it. So, okay. Well, it's been a while. where they were under control by a supernatural forest. Oh, yeah. I would have bought that with these people. Okay.

As much as that guy was getting with like tree branches and box. Yeah, because that dude like took some home run swings to his head and he just stood there like it was nothing. And then get stabbed with a piece of glass and now he's dead. Maybe that was filmed like one of the weekends where they lost the film. something, you know? Yeah. They were doing one weekend per month or whatever. Maybe you're right, Lance.

Maybe them only having certain time frame to film. Maybe it just, it didn't come together like they wanted it to. Possibly. Yeah. Then again, oh, hey, and did you guys catch, uh, I don't know if,

well, obviously if we all watched it on 2B, we saw the same copy. Were there, were there segments where you'd hear them talking like it was normal talk, like you could hear the dialogue? in real time and all of a sudden it was almost like it was dubbed. Like somebody would say, hey, let's get in the car.

And then he would say like, I would get me. Well, I was confused by, well, she wasn't, I guess she was kind of the final girl, the one with the nice booby. Yeah. I was confused if she was Irish or American. The one of the yoga fans?

Yeah, it seemed to come in and out. So I don't know sometimes she was dubbed or? Well, I think a lot of the movie was dubbed. Yeah. And it was not good dubbing. It was like Conan doving. I hear you.

Clearly the people at the pub were Irish, because some of them I didn't understand what it was saying. Yeah, that's your telltale sign. If you can't understand every other word, they're saying they're really Irish, right? Yeah, I was really looking for subtitles. I couldn't find them. Right.

Yeah. Does Tooby-Doo. subtitles? I think it does. Because Marcy was talking about it on the troll, too, that her subtitles kept disappearing. I just wish Tooby would stop with the commercial when there's like 10 minutes left in a movie.

Oh, they always pop you right towards the end there, don't they? Just had to get that one last ad in. Oh, yeah. Just double them up in the beginning. Don't let us watch the damn movie. All right, I think scores? Scores, yeah.

Brian, what you think? I'll be generous. And like I said, I just now seeing what the budget they had in the time frame they had to do it, you know, this seemed like just, I don't know if he, I don't want to put the director down. Come on, Brian. Like, maybe this was not a full project that he was dying to get done. Because, you know, one day out of a month for a year, you know, I'm sure you could have. found some other actors that worked within the schedule. I'm just got it done.

Not for $1,000. True. I'm going to give it a four. It wasn't the worst thing. I didn't hate nobody in it. Nobody was a horrible actor to the point where it just was hard to get through. I like the nods to certain horror movies, and I like their attempt at practical effects with the pig intestines and hard.

and yeah so four four and a half there generous oh wow damn almost as good as good as not good then yeah the extra happy point is wow holy smoke yeah the yoke a pants girl huh this st patrick's day making five out of ten holy shit all right lance what do you think

i got to be real man this is this is a two on ten man so so okay i'm not really bad that i i i i I totally understand that, but that is so close to, too, Jennifer. No, I think I gave that one a zero or a point two five or something. I might have got negative with that. No, this one's, yeah, this was head and shoulder. This was head and shoulders. Head and shoulders above to Jennifer.

That's the worst accent ever. It's better than you're British. That's head and shoulders. Yeah, I kept waiting for a leprechaun to pop up. I'll tell you what, though, man, where you guys is, as, were you guys as bothered as I was when they let those guys make them uncomfortable in the pub and they left their fucking beer full? They left the goddamn pub with their beers full.

That's a fucking, that's a mortal sin in Ireland, isn't it? Can't you get arrested for that? The girls hadn't even taken a sip. And they paid for them too. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, shit. I mean, I don't know about you guys.

I'm not in a habit of paying for drinks and just leaving them there. Yeah. Oh, never, never. They're like, all right, I know those guys are assholes. will go, let me finish my drink. Yeah, like I said, in Ireland, I think that's a felony. So, you know, just the fact that they didn't get arrested was kind of, you know, kind of stretching believability. Yeah, they wasted the Guinness. That's no good. Um, you know, I think fours a pretty fair score.

Ah, okay. I can go with that. Man, you guys are being nice tonight. Well, yeah, because I mean, festive mood for St. Patrick's. Well, and yeah, I mean, you can tell they tried. And for what they did with the amount of money that they did it, it was just so much better than a lot of other, like, really bad. A lot of budget. I'm not taking anything away for the budget.

I just thought nothing happened. Nothing of constant fucking happened. I'll say this. This would have been a really awesome short film. if they would have went that direction. And it kind of was. Yeah, maybe, but still, dude, there was no, if they,

at the end. Well, if they kind of shrunk it down, so maybe like a five, seven minutes short film. Yeah, like, they could have been the whole first half of that while they were camping. True.

And the whole thing could have taken place at the campsite. It was kind of key. I thought it was kind of funny when the guy jipped him out of, you know, 50 quid or whatever when he said, I bet I can put my,

my tent up faster than you? He said, and the cat's working, he's over smoking a cigarette. He almost finishes and he just throws a tent up in the air and it's one of those self-building tents or whatever. A little pop-ups.

Yeah, that was kind of funny. Still only gets two, though. Sorry. No, I understand that score. I'm definitely being generous with a score. It was not a great movie. But better than I expect,

it to be when it started, and the dubbing wasn't quite as annoying by the end. Plus, nice ass. Yeah, yoga, yoga pants. Always works. All right. On to the hallow. The hallo. No, no, would you say?

Ar, the hallow. A family who moved into a remote mill house and I, Ireland finds themselves in a fight for survival with demonic creatures living in the woods. Director is Corrin Hardy, also known for the Nun. Uh-oh. Yeah, I guess you got that job from this, right? Movie sucked. Yeah, it did.

Riders, Corin Hardy, Felipe Marino, and Tonee V.A. God damn. How many writers did it take to write this fucking story idea? Uh, let's see. Some trivia. The baby scene in the film is a mix of animatronics and real twins that were digitally shot in front of a blue screen. Hmm. Uh, director Corin Hardy sent a rough cut copy of the Hallow to the same studio which developed the crow, the reboot.

And consequently got the job to shoot the reboot. She is no longer a part of anymore. Oh, really? Well, maybe they saw the nun and said, Dave, they're trying to reboot the crow for the eekers. Yeah. Probably I'd just leave that one along, too. Probably.

All right. Brian, what did you think about the hello? I think this falls in more of the Irish folk horror aspect. Oh, definitely, yeah. What were they changelings? Is that what they were? Yeah, that's part of Irish mythology, that and the fairy folk and all that. Yeah, they kind of incorporated all that, I thought, really well.

Yeah, and they sort of just threw in like a new little twist to it. Yeah, I thought all the practical effects were awesome, you know, the creature designs. I definitely see, even though I wasn't a fan of the Nun, horrible movie, I see that he's a talented filmmaker, you know. And I dug the story. It was, the guy was pissing me off, though. the main guy. Was he? Why would you bring your baby into all these places?

Stupid people. Especially that first one, when he's like picking up the dead deer. Yeah, because I'm assuming he worked for the logging company to kind of go out and make, you know, do tests and stuff?

And I was just, why do you keep bringing your child, your infant baby touching dead deers and mold? Oh, yeah. Really, really stupid. And you always got to listen to the locals. when they say, you know, you need to get out of the forest, get the fuck out the forest.

Didn't want to listen. I liked the throughout the movie when he got infected the changes he was going through. I thought they looked pretty cool. And I'd done the story. It was pretty straightforward story, you know, not supposed to be where they're at. And they're being chased down by these changeling demons or whatever. And he gets infected. He's changing.

and got to get their way out of the forest. You know, pretty straightforward and awesome practicals. All right. Lance, what did you think? Yeah, I thought the special effects were fucking phenomenal in this. I really, really, really enjoyed the special effects, especially one scene with some potential eye trauma, which the arm coming through the attic door.

Yeah, and I thought that the whatever special effects they did with the babies, was really well done. I mean, it was, I couldn't tell it was animatronic, you know? I mean, it looked, it all looked very real to me. And I thought, yeah, I thought that the creature effects were really good. We were

talking about the cursed earlier, and I told you I really liked those creature effects, but I thought they were even better in this movie. Now, that being said, plot-wise and story-wise, there was fucking nothing subtle about this at all. I mean, this is just

Like, I can see why he got the job for the nun, because this was like nothing but jump scares and total predictability. As much as I loved the effects of that scene where the finger came out and then the little thing got closer and closer and closer to her eye, was there ever any question, guys, whether she was going to get away from it just in time? Yeah. Or he was going to turn the lights on just in time, like right before that thing touched her eye. and it seemed like it took 30 fucking seconds for that stick to get like an inch to where her eye was. They definitely slow bucked that one. Yeah, big time, man.

I mean, the whole story was predictable. I think there wasn't too much. And I'm the world's worst. AJ will tell you she always figures out the ends of movies and I never do. But I saw pretty much every fucking thing in this thing coming from a mile away. I kind of was a little let on. I thought at the end she had the wrong, she had the wrong baby.

Okay, so. Yeah, I figured as much. Well, here's, okay, well, here's one thing that, here's one thing that, that, that kind of bothered me. They sort of mugffined you to death on this thing, right? Because every time you'll notice, every time they would, they would close in on something, like a gasoline can or whatever,

it was going to come into play, guaranteed later in the movie. Usually sooner rather than later. And that one part at the end where he's got the sickle, that he lights the end on fire. I don't think fire works that way. I think if you don't have like a wick that's that's actually connected to a fuel source, I don't think you can keep it burning like that, especially when you're fucking swinging around.

It's movie fire. Movie fire is always convenient. It's like movie bullets. I got you. Movie guns that never run out. All right. Well, I think, okay, so here's the other problem I had with it. I don't know if it's because I was watching it in my office at work.

with all the lights on in my office or whatever, but I probably should have turned the lights off for this one, dude, because there were some really dark scenes, like where I couldn't see what the fuck was going on. And I know that, I guess that kind of had to be part of it, because the story was centered around, especially like that final act,

where it's kind of like all in one night, and it finally ends up where the sun's starting to come through the trees and stuff like that, which always indicates to you in any movie that they, you know, survive the night and now it's morning time. But, you know, I found some scenes really hard to kind of see what was going on and that bothered me.

But, yeah, again, great special effects. I'm not going to say very good acting. You know, like you said, Brian, the fucking decisions that this guy made, I mean, Jesus, fucking Christ, who would have made those decisions? And then, like, the part where he's crawling through the backseat of the car, because I guess the entity locks him in the trunk or whatever. That was, that was kind of cheesy. To go through the backseat, like Ace Ventura squeezing his way out of that rhinos ass.

Yeah, absolutely, man. Just to be silly, everything was real predictable. Everything was just kind of like, they kind of like just shouted through a bullhorn in this movie. I would have loved it if something had been sublime and just like a little bit not so on the nose, you know? just maybe that was just the way I watched it, but I don't know, man. I just think it was a pretty weak, you know, super weak story. It was a good premise. He had the neighbor that you thought at first was going to, you know, trying to do something

sinister or whatever, but was only just trying to warn the guy and help him. You know, and then, you know, they're toward the end where the girl tries to get help and knocks on the door and he's like, oh, yeah, that's not the real baby, which I thought was kind of. I got a predictable. He did exactly what you should have done. Bitch, I fucking told you. Yeah, I know, man.

I know. I wish I liked it more because I really love the makeup and the monster effects. But I don't know, to me, a pretty goddamn silly storyline, man. I just, I didn't get into it that much. Not as much as I wanted to. I actually kind of did. I see what you're saying with the storyline. it maybe was, you know, could have done with some fleshing out and stuff like that.

But I like what they did with it, man. I like it kept me entertained the whole time. I love the little creatures. I like the whole woods atmosphere. I was yelling at him about the baby. What did you guys think about not Carrie Mulligan? Did she do a pretty good job? Yeah.

You know, I wasn't really mad at any of the act. acting in the movie. It was more so the decisions that we're making. Right. And I guess it's more writing than anything. It could have done with some better writing this movie. But I thought the special effects were good. I like the idea behind it.

I like what they did with the fungus to make it more real and less supernatural. Yeah. You know, like a... But they still kept that aspect of it, though. Yeah. The forest that when they were going through it felt very fantasy-like kind of, I guess. I don't know if that makes sense or not. Yeah, and I see what you're saying, but it's like they throw that fantasy-like thing in there,

but sort of make it realistic with it being a fungus instead of just, oh, the phoenix. The fungus among us, huh? Yeah. The black goo returns. Oh, don't. It shakes a black Christmas again, Brian. Now, we're going with the original X-Files, Black Coop. And, yeah, I mean, it kept me entertained the whole time.

I kind of like what they did with the ending, at least this kind of asshole dad. I mean, maybe he wasn't really an asshole. He seemed pretty chill. Just an idiot. Yeah, just a fucking moron. But he has kind of a redemption thing at the end. so yeah because he was fighting

being taken over by the fungus or whatever yeah and then fortunately she did choose the right baby which would have been right baby take a both and then stick them in the sun

right I mean we still got kind of a little bit of a downer ending the logs they were taken away had the fungus all over them oh yeah so Like they were thinking about coming out with a sequel.

I did think the jump scare at the very end was stupid. Yeah. Well, and it was a lot of jump scares and stuff. And that's, you know, like Lance, like you said, it was a lot of what happened in the Nun. Yeah, Jump Scare Central, huh? Yeah. But it was at least creepier. So I'll give it some credit.

I enjoyed this one. Yeah, I liked it more than the None. That's for damn sure. Yeah, I like this one more than the Nunn for sure. Well, you didn't have a guy going through the house fucking burning incense and shit. You could have like an Irish guy. Instead of throwing holy water, throwing Guinness beer or something like that, you know. Here we burn shades that's a little spiked.

So what was that dude doing out there? Y'all said he was working for the tree company, the lumber company? He was doing some kind of test, which I think if he wouldn't have changed into a a changeling, I guess that's what they were. He probably would have been able to tell him about the fungus, but I guess he never... He's probably the environmental guy. Yeah. Maybe marking which trees to cut down or which trees not.

Which, like, a lot of tree companies, apparently it didn't matter because they didn't need to test or even realize that he just all of a sudden disappeared. Yeah. Yeah, right. Yeah, they went out there and cut them down anyway, right? Like you remember that guy who you paid a bunch of money to him, bought a house? Whatever happened? Was that an after-credit scene with a tree sap, or was that before the credits?

That was before the credits. The truck was pulling away with the logs. You saw the fungus spreading. There was an after-credit scene, though, right? There was a mongchangling jumping at the camera going on. Oh, I missed that. Yeah, it was. You didn't miss anything, dude.

Like the after-credit scenes at the Batman, Brian. Oh, I was so fucking pissed at Nez. Because he posted on Facebook, he said, Hey, be sure you stay all the way to the end of the Batman's. I sit through 15 minutes of fucking credits when I've got a bunch of shit I need to be doing at home. And we get a little computer going, goodbye or someone. I guess the geek said there's a website, Brian, you can go to now. It's a countdown, maybe to the next Batman movie.

For the riddler, I guess. Okay. Okay. It's supposed to be deciphering his next riddle or something. The way that cares about Dana, the way Dano acted of that, I was nicknamed him the riddle and ridder. The riddle and riddler. I guess that dude was really fucking spastic, man.

Especially toward the end there. Oh, I wish we could talk about Batman. now that we're getting back into the Batman let's uh go scores on the the hallow uh Brian um

seven I think the the practical effects really did the creature design really did it for me I think uh I do agree that it was a little bit of a lack of story because the story was pretty straightforward it's nothing that you need to really sit there and think about what really happened

but I I liked all the creature designs and thought it was a good take on Irish folk horror way better than the devil's woods. You've got to say the S. Make sure you say the S on that because... Is there one called the Devil's Wood, or is that the porn parody? That's a different video. We'll do that one with Marcy. Yeah, that's a different show. Lance, what do you think?

Oh, man. See, I kind of got over the special effects on this one did push me over the edge, where I'm actually going to go five and a half. And I'm in that territory of I actually liked it more than I didn't like it, just because it was a treat to watch. And some of that shit toward the end, like with the baby and all that shit, when it was changing, it kind of looked like something out of a tool video, which was kind of trippy.

So, man, my hat's off to whoever did the fucking special effects. on this. I definitely need to research that and find out and see what other movies they've made because this is one where great special effects to me pushed a totally lackluster script with really,

really bad, you know, wooden acting over that five-point mark, which is really hard to do with me if the story's not there. So, yeah, man, hats off to the special effects big time. Well, that makes sense. That was a good review. Uh, you know, I'm going to go seven also.

All right. I really had a good time with this one. It was, uh, definitely worth the watch. Yeah, the creature design was, was kind of everything in this. Mm-hmm. Indeed. You know, sometimes once they bring out the creature, it's like, all right. Mm-hmm.

I quit. And in this one, they were still really creepy the whole way. Yeah. Yeah, I enjoyed that. They were, yeah, there were some good sense. Yeah, I was going to say, you felt the tension. There was definitely some suspense. So just that alone.

Again, you know, it's so we all pretty much recommend it. I mean, right? If you've got shutter anyway, why not? But did it give you the devil's wood? Could very well be, me lad. Me laddie. All right, cool. So as always, we want to thank you guys for listening to another episode of The Horror Returns.

You can find us at Thehorreturns.com and follow all of our social media links from there. Brian, what else is going on with action and wrestling, man? Wrestling, you won't get an episode until WrestleMania, of course,

which Nez will be there. WrestleMania is going to be two days again. He'll be there for one day. I keep telling him he just needs to be there for two. Right. Yeah. Action. Action on next episode is Lady Blood Fight, which if anybody's ever seen Van Dam's Bloodsport, it's just essentially the female version of the Kumatee.

Okay. Stream fiends. We got Thunderheart coming out with Val Kilmer. Thunderheart. What is that? Name sounds vaguely familiar. Listen to the review. Okay.

Not Thunderdome. No, Nez drops a lot of facts in there about the... Thunder Heart. Yeah. Okay. Definitely check that episode out. All right. Yeah, we'll check it out.

I got my many reviews coming. THR quick reviews. Got more coming. Don't know which movies I'm doing next. And my new show on Nez's network, ESP Shorts. All right. Short films. got a lot coming

so yeah that's a lot man we'll check that out if all goes well Brian you and I have a couple of side reviews we got the cursed and also X coming out did you see that one Phil I haven't seen it yet

check it out you can be on there too man and I think Bid and Marcy are are going to be joining us so hopefully we'll get that up in the next what couple of days we can record that I hope it's a porn movie that turns into a horror movie Yeah, sort of.

Yeah, okay. Well, it didn't go as far as I would have liked, but then again, you know. Who could blame me, right? They were three pretty hot chicks. I had no eyebrows. Oh, my God, though. The one, the one that's in all the movies lately. What is her name, Brian?

Jenna Ortega. Oh, she's something else. She's an up-and-comer. Definitely an up-and-comer. She's in that. She was in Scream. She was in Studio 666. Studio 666, just this year.

Yeah. She was in the babysitter sequel, I think. Right. Yeah, Killer Queen. And she's... What did I see? She's going to be Wednesday in the new Netflix Adam Family series. God damn!

I saw her in something else, too. My wife was watching. Yeah? She's in a lot of stuff. Yeah. She's working her ass off. She obviously loves horror movies. So that's important.

Either that or her agent does. But we don't care. We'll take it, right? Absolutely. And then we got an interview online with all the guys from hell is empty and working on hopefully setting up a couple more interviews in the next month. So yeah, man, lots of stuff going on. We'll hopefully be going video here. My granddaughter is actually schooling me on how to do YouTube.

who's who's going to know. Or maybe we'll reach out to Desmond. I'm sure Desmond would be happy to help. So we'll make it work. But all right, next week, courtesy of Brian, our programming director, we once again asked that age-old question. Is it really that bad? But this time it's a Stephen King edition with the mangler and thinner.

So why Stephen King, Brian? This is early Stephen King movies. So there was a. Not a lot of good ones. All right, well, we'll be the judge of that, right? But, spoiler, one of these I do really like a lot. Ah, okay. Well, we shall find out.

So, Philip, until the horror returns again. Good night. I don't know what that was. I thought you were going to say. Aye, good night, mate. And have a pint of Guinness. It was going Irish and then it didn't. A little counteracta there.

Right.