The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #315: Lamb (2021) & Hatching (2022)

Episode Date: June 7, 2022

This week, we are joined by Adam Thomas of the Double Edged Double Bill podcast to talk the brand new Hatching as well as 2021's Lamb. Cool of the Week includes Dog Day Afternoon, Stranger Things, Top Gun Maverick and basketball movies. Trailers are American Carnage and Mid-Century. The podcast spotlight shines on Happy Horror Time. And we get feedback from Xim Vader, Tim Davis, Jerald Turbeville, Ahtziri Tanganxoan Chavez Ramos, and Steven Lowblad. Thanks for listening! The Horror Returns Website: https://thehorrorreturns.com THR Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thehorrorreturns THR Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thehorrorreturns/ Join THR Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1056143707851246 THR Twitter: https://twitter.com/horror_returns?s=21&t=XKcrrOBZ7mzjwJY0ZJWrGA THR Instagram: https://instagram.com/thehorrorreturns?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= SK8ER Nez Podcast Network https://www.podbean.com/pu/pbblog-p3n57-c4166 ESP Anchor Feed: https://anchor.fm/mac-nez E Society YouTube Channel https://youtube.com/channel/UCliC6x_a7p3kTV_0LC4S10A Music By: Steve Carleton Of The Geekz

Hey, this is Amanda Burst at Texas Frightmares. Keep listening to The Horror Returns. I'll come and get you. Greetings, victims. For those of you who delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify goal, welcome. You have found the place where

The horror returns. Listeners beware. This podcast contains major plot spoilers and the foulest of language. Join us in celebrating the old and the new, the best, and the worst in horror. Welcome back, one and all to The Horror Returns. I'm Lance and with me as always are my co-host Brian and Philip and Naz is jamming out of the concert, sent me a bunch of pictures.

So he's having probably more fun than we are. But tonight we've got special guest Adam Thomas from Double Edge Double Bill podcast. How's it going, Adam? I mean, it was going good until you insinuated that I suck because Naz is having more fun. That's just, that's the life we live, man. We always have to be... We're overshadowed... Yeah, we're overshadowed by Nez's adventures.

This motherfucker works for a goddamn fucking airline so he can fly anywhere free. So wherever something cool is going on to the U.S., you can sit your Nezometer, and he'll be there. Right on. No, I'm good, man. Thanks for having me on. It's been a while. It's been a while, dude.

What have you guys covered over there lately? Oh, hell, man. We just got... Besides Tom Cruise Week. Yeah, right, right. No, last night we recorded this week's upcoming episode. We did an episode about amusement parks because of the new Jurassic World movie. And we covered Carnival Souls and Action Point.

Ah, okay. You know, way back for that one. Action Point. The Action Point is a fucking just a cluster fuck. It is terrible. Is it a joke? Who's it? Oh, is that the one that's based on a true story? Yeah, it's starring Johnny Knoxville.

Oh, well. Okay. Yeah. Right, exactly. I like the guy, but man, yeah. Yeah, right. Yeah. Not what I would call a Thespian. Yeah.

Well, yeah, but that was, where was that, was that in like, fucking New York, New York State or something? the real yeah the real one was in Jersey Jersey okay got you yeah this is loosely based on that loosely

it's fun dude I mean come on check your brain at the door it's like a documentary based on it on HBO Max yes that was good I watched that that was good man a lot of like six people died at the

real park and there was hundreds of injuries and all that shit it was crazy yeah Well, that's when you know you're having fun, right, Philip? Yeah. When you're dead? This is a bleak-ass show.

We just started. Well, I never realized that, you know, I could see Lance right now. I didn't realize how fucking gophe is. Really? Yeah. I know. The horror movie, dude. Yeah.

Now, just sunburned from being a, at Action Park all day to me with my nephew. Right on, man. You look like you were fucking belonging cradle of filth. I'll take that. I don't smoke.

You look like filth. That's what I meant to say. Well, that's, yeah, it's more like it. That's the Adam I know. All right, brother. You know how the show starts out. You're our guest, so cool of the week.

you go first. What do we need to watch that we've missed? Man, I'll tell you what I did. I went back and watched like old Pacino movies that I've either seen a long time ago or haven't seen before. So I did a night where I watched Dog Day Afternoon, Serpico, and Cruising. And holy shit. Those are some movies. Cruising especially. Talk about some dark shit. I don't know. It's nuts, dude. It's it's five. the guy who directed The Exorcist.

And it's with Al Pacino as a young cop who's trying to be a detective so in order to earn his badge he goes undercover in New York in like 1980 and he goes to all the gay S&M clubs because there's a killer

killing all these gay S&M guys. He's cruising. He's cruising. Exactly. And it is especially for 1980, pretty graphic. I was really surprised at what they got away with

then. But it was a super solid thriller movie and, you know, Dog Day afternoon is kind of the same thing. You know, 1974, whatever, great movie, but I didn't realize it's based on a true story of a guy who robbed a bank to pay for his boyfriend's sex change. Wow. Yeah, I

knew that's what the theme was. I didn't know it was based on a true story, though. Yeah, 100% of true story. Yeah. Holy shit. Okay. I don't know that I've seen it. that one either. It's good, man. That's a classic, dude. I only never watched Serpico because I'd

seen impressions of it and stuff, and I wanted to watch some more Al Pacino movies. Boy, he got stuck into that cop roll for a while, didn't he? Oh, a long time. Yeah, yeah. I mean, still really, you know, up until very recently, he still was. I mean, look at, like, heat and, you know, insomnia and all that. He was still a cop, yeah.

But she knows the shit, though. So out of those, which one is your cool of the week? What was the best one, man? Oh, Dog Day afternoon, for sure. Okay, yeah, nice. That's the one I've seen out of those three. That's a classic, man, for a reason. Yep, for sure, man.

Philip? All right, I got a couple of cools of the week. My wife has me watching a series on Hulu. It's called Under the Banner of Heaven. You guys heard of that? Yeah, man. Yeah. None of it.

It's got a bunch of fucking people in it, man. Okay. It's got the chick that played in Fresh with a winter soldier. Yeah. Sure. She's in there. A bunch of people in there. It's like true detective, but.

With Mormon. Mormons. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Andrew Garfield is doing the weird religious role. all of a sudden seems right. Doesn't like the case get like super deep

to where he like questions his own faith or something? I think so. I'm not entirely done with it yet. But I've watched like five episodes and man it's a pretty pretty good show. It is kind of...

Legit, huh? Yeah, it is kind of a true detective sort of series. Very, you know, true crime thing. And it's a true story, apparently. I don't know. Right. And my cool of the week is I finally went and watched Top Gun Maverick. Oh, yeah.

Holy shit. It was awesome. No political bullshit. It was like just a bunch of really kick-ass fighter jet scenes that they all really did. And, I mean, I'm sure they didn't actually fly those routes. I don't know, man. I mean, I heard there's a lot of real flying event. Yeah, there's definitely some real flying.

But, you know, were they really pulling, you know, 8, 9, 10 Gs? I don't know. Probably not. I believe Tom Cruise did. Tom Cruise probably did. That's the kind of guy that he is. And, man, a lot of respect for that movie. They paid a lot of, like, homage to the first one without being too cheesy.

A lot of respect to Goose. Yeah. I felt like that didn't give, give, uh, we. got a review coming out on action, but I felt like they didn't give the proper respect when he died in the first one. It was just kind of a thing that happened. And let's get Maverick out there flying again. You know, he'll get over it. And I felt like they did a better job in this one.

Yeah, I mean, it's kind of what the whole movie was about. Okay. Ish. You know, that was the backstory to the whole movie with the cool planes and actually flying missions. So. There was this fake news. article that came out that caused controversy. It was totally phony, too, but

it said Method actor Tom Cruise bombs a small village in Yemen preparing for top gunned. Oh, come on. People were like, I swear, oh, of course they did. You put anything out there that some idiot's going to believe it.

That's funny. Oh, sure. Like, send him over to Ukraine, right? Solved the whole problem. We've got a lot of wars going on right now that are dumb. that is how it is what else is new

what else is new all right Lance you got anything that's it Maverick huh oh yeah because we got to let Brian save up

for the we've got to let it simmer a little bit for the um amityville movie of the week I guess but

those reviews are coming I'm a little late on those gotta record them still all right I uh I stayed I stayed home last Sunday

and watch the entire season of Stranger Things in one day. No spoilers. I'm not done. Yeah, dude. It's definitely my favorite season since the first one. I think it's very back to basics. And, I mean, it's no, Brian, it's not a spoiler to let you know that a certain character is back that you thought might have died last season. So you knew that already, right?

Yeah. I mean, they revealed that in the trailer. Yeah, from what I watched so far, I think the delay helped the show, really, to kind of go back and rewrite and tighten things out. Sounds like the delay helped top gun, too. Yeah, that couldn't hurt. And the thing that the thing I really like about this season of Stranger Things is you guys know that I'm always a sucker for an ensemble cast, you know, where they go back and forth and, you know, you get a 10, 15 minute scene of this group and then you switch on to the next group and a different. place and then you go to Russia for a scene and then you go back to Indiana, then you go to California. That's what I love about it, man. It's like that episodes are like an hour and 16

minutes each, but they feel like 30 minutes. They just fly by. So couldn't say nicer things about stranger things this year, Brian. But you're going to tell me why it's not the best thing right now, right? Well, let me jump in wrong here. Except that they stopped in the fucking middle of it, and I didn't know they were going to do that. Yeah, they kind of did. They left Jim a cliffhanger, for sure. Well, yeah, there's only, you got a couple more weeks. Yeah, I know. They said the last two episodes are going to be movie length. Okay. Well, yeah, that's fair. I'm not mad about it. I was just disappointed when it, when it popped up. I was like, wait, what? I know. I know.

Yeah, Brian said the season, or episode nine, going to be two and a half hours, right? Holy crap. Did I? I think you did, yeah. It's like a fucking movie and a half length. Isn't me. Somebody said that.

Maybe it was Nez, but somebody said that. I don't report false news on here. It's all true. I'll bet it will be, man. What do I got? I only got one new movie. It's like a micro-budget. What do you?

call the internet like creepy pasta type movie it's called we're all going to the world's fair I've heard of that one not for me very very slow not until the week then huh

not very slow I'm never you're nervous there's only a couple people I've heard of it basically it's I guess it's like one of those internet things where you basically do the little ritual

while you're posting your video and then like creepy stuff supposed to have and she's documenting like changes she's going through and basically the movie plays like is these things really happening or she just doing these for views on her videos

and there was a couple decent little creepy moments but it was just like they mentioned paranormal activity in a movie and I think it's a great comparison because when you watch those movies you're just kind of waiting for something to happen and then you're just waiting

and waiting and then something little happens, and then you're waiting and waiting, and that's how I felt through it. For a micro-budgeted movie, I think they spent their money right, and it was well-made. It just, I'm not into the creepypasta stuff,

and it was just too slow. But there was a couple legit moments where I was like, oh, that she's kind of creepy right there, you know, what, what, that's something she was doing, in her video and I was like okay but not for me I can't recommend it

even though when I posted posted watching it there was a bunch of people like oh I really enjoyed this movie I was like oh cool let me let me check it out then and as I was getting into it I was just like oh no not for you no

Adam have you seen it no but I've heard literally almost exactly a friend of mine saw it and says the exact same thing Brian does he said It's just kind of the budget really shows, which, you know, I don't have a problem with micro-budget movies. Some one can be done really well. But you've got to have something in it that appeals, whether it's a decent actor or an interesting creature or something.

And I heard this pretty much falls flat. Yeah, exactly. Oh, I do want to comment on Stranger Things real quick, because I watched them all as well. I don't like it as much as I like season one the best, then I go three, then this one. so far and the only reason is without spoiling it at all it's very much kind of nightmare on Elm Street

which is fine that's a great thing well it's also it's also a lot of it you gotta admit the dead lights in the house and all that yeah that's true but I mean the thing is about the first season and even season three there is multiple influences

you know a ton of different stuff this feels just very much like one or two things kind of being copied I got you. I agree with you. I agree. But I'm loving it. Yeah, so far so good.

Did I watch anything that I actually enjoyed? I had a night where I watched a bunch of basketball movies. I guess that would be my cool little week. Basketball movies. All right. Let me write that down. First one was blue chips. I did blue chips because I haven't watched that since.

It's probably done like 20-something years. Right. Nick Nolte, right? Yeah. I thought that was a... I think it paints a good picture of, you know, college athletes and, you know, what goes on to recruit them and the money that goes that's exchanged and stuff like that. And I thought Nick Nolte was really good in it. But, man, it made me feel old because I remember seeing that in the theater when it came out.

Right. It brought back some memories, did it? Second one was Coach Carter. A great true story That's Amy L. Jackson, right? Yeah, great. And the third one was Hoop Dreams, documentary.

That's okay. Great, though, man. Great documentary. I was hoping you'd throw a white man can't jump in there. Stream fan's coming soon. Oh, there you go. Yeah. My grandma took us,

me and my cousin, to see that at the Dollar Theater. And my grandma's very religious. And, uh, Yeah, so she had no idea what this movie was about, and we were like, I'm 13. If you want to feel real old, it just celebrated its 30th anniversary. Oh, that's... Well, yeah, she...

We had to leave the theater early in that one. Oh, come on, man. You guys didn't stay for the... Yeah, I was about to say you didn't stay for the Woody, Rosie sex scene. No, I think that's not. Yeah, that's when she got up and left, huh? she doesn't like the word screw she likes make love or fuck right

didn't she go on to play jeopardy or something like that toward the end of that movie yeah she knew seven foods that started with the leather cube right fucking rosy for us man that's a great movie man I gotta go back and watch that I gotta go back and watch that on uh Hulu all right

stream fiends it is huh I'll watch it along with you guys then there's a there's a good little um for the 30th anniversary i think if you go on youtube to the ESPN's uh channel i think they did a reunion with Woody and Wesley nice yeah right back to the to the playground that they played at yeah I saw a clip of that look pretty good man Wesley Snipes looks different right now man yeah I don't know about this remake coming out I'm just not I'm just, the cast so far, I'm just like, really, this guy is going to be the Wesley character? I don't know if you guys...

They're remaking white men can't junk. Nah, yeah, I hadn't heard that either. What the fuck? What? Yeah, the guy, I don't know. Have you guys ever watched Power? Yeah. The guy that was the main character, Ghosts, like his chauffeur, that actor, I don't know.

I don't know what it's mean. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know you're talking about. That's going to be the Wesley character. Oh, God, six. I'm not... Just bring back Wesley, man. Not saying nothing bad about the actor. It's just I don't see him.

And I've seen him in one other thing and nothing says... I mean, maybe he'll surprise me. Maybe he's got range. But, yeah, I would have loved to see the characters come back to... To do like a sequel because you kind of don't know what happened to him after... You don't know really what happened or what he? Did he get back with Rosie? Did, you know...

Next, you're going to tell me Jenna Ortega is going to be playing Rosie's character, right? She's busy playing everything else. She's big. Well, that sounds pretty fucking terrible. Yeah, it really does. God. That's too bad. I watch it anyways.

Yeah. Yeah, we'll be there. Yeah, of course you will. You watch like Amityville Vampire and shit like that. You're not going to pass up white, but can't jump the remake. I can't wait for Amityville in space. Oh, no. Is it coming?

Yes. Oh, God. I saw the, like, the cover art for that. And I just, what the fuck is going on? I love public domain movies. It's my favorite thing. Yes. Well, dude, I've still got listed at Y'all stream fiends episode about Top Gunn and

try to wrap my head around why Ness has such a problem with the homo erotic volleyball game scene. They gave him another scene and the new one. The football, touch football. And my favorite character emphasis on touch. And my favorite

character was the goose. Bob. Yeah? Because he had he was the only one with a shirt on. Yeah, little, little goose. Yeah, Bill Pullman's son. He was kind of the goose in this movie, wasn't he? I guess.

I love that his call sign was Bob. I know. Yeah, that was pretty funny. That was good character. Yeah, they definitely had cooler helmet graphics in this one than the prior. Oh, yeah. I'm going to get that asshole guy, but that's right. He did this job.

Yeah. But, yeah, basketball movies, I enjoyed all three of them. All right, all right, Brian. I think that that means now it's time for horror headlines. Brought to you by Brian. What's you got for us, man? Let's start with a little bit of TV. Raised by Wolbs, the series by Ridley Scott, canceled after two seasons.

Never got into that. Did you guys? I watched half of the first season. I tried, man. It's just, I like Ridley Scott a lot. Sure. A lot of times, man, his shit can come off pretty pretentious. And I found this to be kind of pretentious, like Prometheus level pretentious.

Too bad, too bad. See, and I like Prometheus, but is Ridley Scott lose this touch? Man, I don't know. I think he's still consistent, but I don't think we're ever going to, I mean, I'd be very surprised when we get another, like, Ridley Scott masterpiece. I will say the last duel was pretty fucking close. That movie was pretty good. I liked it.

I liked the way it told it from three different points of view. and every story was a little bit different. Yeah, but then like the same year you got fucking house of Gucci and you're like, what are we doing? Yeah. Is it him? I know, man. Yeah, that was him.

Lady Gaga had trouble keeping her hairpiece on when she was getting on the table there. I heard she had trouble keeping her accent. Oh, yeah, probably. Jared Lato is literally doing like a Luigi accent the whole movie and he's the best in it. It's a me, a Jeroletto. What do you mean? Oh, the Papa. What do you mean?

You're like, oh, what the fuck? You sound just like him, dude. It was great. Not Jared Letto. Not Jared Letto from the hit movie Morbius. I forgot to mention I watched that piece of shit. I did too. I just watched it.

I'm going to have to watch it just so I have a favorite sandwich. Oh, yeah. It's... It's not even... Yeah, it's not even a bad, it's good movie. It's just... It's just bad. It's boring.

God damn it. He's going to have to... He's going to have to watch it. Yeah, he's going to have to come back with something strong to, like, save his career. The past few movies seen done have been not great. He should... Hey, he should play the Joker. Wait a minute.

We already did that. How about if he just loses it? is 100 pounds and plays an AIDS patient again. Oh. That's usually good for, that's usually good for an Oscar. Yeah, but he's done that, man. Like, we need to get back to something. I know. I know.

In that range of acting, though, man. Jared Lettos last few weeks have been shit. Or he could just stop. I'd be fine with that, too. Yeah, I'd be good with it. He needs Pirates of the Caribbean. boot with Jared Leather. All right, where do we

goes? Scream 6, Durham Maroney. Did I say his name right? Or is it Dylan McDermott? I always can't. No, not that guy. I don't like that guy. Yeah, you got it. It's Dermit Moroni. All right. Yeah, the other

guy you just brought up land. Isn't that the American Horror Story guy? Yes. Season one, yes. That guy. He's horrible. He joined the cast of Screen 6, which we'll be getting... Oh, we're still doing that, huh? Yeah.

I guess we're still doing that, yeah? So we know who the killer is, I guess. Yes. Right, exactly. Let's see. Happy Death Day Director, Christopher Landon, will be making an Araknophobia remake. Also.

Why? the first one still holds up really really well the original is still a solid movie but they didn't get a chance to they didn't get a chance to use cg i spiders that's a thousand percent what it's going to be that is a thousand percent of all right and a thing a thing before the movie will pop up saying no spiders were hurt and they're making of this Yep. Yep. Dude. Those

Gendamas over here. Terrible. Why doesn't he just do Happy Death Day 3 and finally finish the trilogy? Jason Blum says it's back when they said it wasn't going to happen. He just recently came out saying

basically it is going to happen but it's not going to happen in our lifetimes? It'll happen. I bet. I bet. It's going to ride on the success of this arachnophobia thing. True. If it's successful, it's going to be successful?

I mean... Fuck, no. Well, I mean, it's a Blumhouse movie, so probably everything they do is successful because they have a million dollar budget. To quote the Black... To quote the Black Saint, we're going to get Blummed again, Adam. Yep. Yep.

Christopher Landon, he actually has another movie that time travel slasher movie coming out, so... I wonder if that bomb... Okay, somewhere in time. If that bombs will... I think it's been done.

Malcolm McDowell plays this last year. All right. Showing my age now. Never mind, guys. Ellen Bernstein has suggested she's already filmed her scenes for the Exorcist. I called a recall. You're already out, Lance?

I'm just so mad about this. This is like remaking jokes. dude yeah no why would you remake the exorcists it's a 10 how are they remaking it it's a sequel to the original right it's a sequel trilogy why do we need it we've had a bunch of

exorcists do we need anything in life and they were all 50 too oh my god chill the fuck out Lance god damn it guys leave it the fuck alone man no they should have left pets and we're raping the Yeah, I'll give you that one. I'll give you that one.

Pats Cemetery. Quit raping the corpse. Come on. Raping the corpse. That's coming on a T-shirts. I guess we know what Lance is into. That's called necrophilia. Yeah.

Oh, he's really into it, too, if he gives us the proper term. Hey, man, don't kinkshame. It's called necrophilia. buddy. Don't get it twisted, brother. Attracting persons. Thank you very much.

We're all about proper terminology over here. Right. Yeah, especially when it comes to fucking a corpse, apparently. That's right. Going back to TV, Amanda Pete joined a cast of Paramount Plus's

fatal attraction series. Speaking of raping a corpse. Amanda Pete raped a corpse. What the fuck has she been in lately? Jesus Christ. man. You know, though, she's always been pretty solid.

So I think if she's doing playing, yeah, I think so. She's playing the Glenn Close part. I think she'll be all right. Okay. Yeah, I definitely. Is she that old yet? Oh, she doesn't be old. Glenn Close wasn't old in the original.

Your sense of time is all over the map. Well, Glenn Close has looked like she was old since she was. probably 30. Fair. I say mature. Yeah. Amanda Pete. 90-year-old skeleton.

But as far as Amanda Pete acting-wise, I can see her pulling off of like crazy psychotic. Yeah, me too. Yeah, wasn't she the Kant in saving Silverman? Or am I thinking of somebody else? That's her. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

I want to use that word, but. I would. I would. We earned our e-explicit rating, guys. Yeah, but we don't want to listen to our, we don't want to lose our female listeners. We have a close relationship with a lot of Australians. Cunt just happens to come along with the vernacular. Yeah, but people can use the excuse we're not in Australia. All right, well.

Let's see. Lionsgate is actively seeking new pitches for, I guess they're bringing back the Cube series. Why? Again, again. Why? Yeah. Good God. First of all, first of all, does anyone give a fuck about the torture porn genre anymore?

No, it's dead. Not at this point. Second of all, the first Cube movie was pretty good. the rest have been shit why are we bringing it back it'd be like it'd be literally be like it'd be the same you feel like yeah lion's gates also bring it back hostile

you'd be like why they will they will now you just always have suggested it will a hostile prequel it's on the docket they're remaking what motivated the Germans to get that people they'll

they'll slap Eli Ross name on there whether he likes it or not yeah I hate to tell you this buddy but historically the Germans, not great people. Young Hitler. All the people wars were their fault. I bet young Hitler, I'd never said cunt, though. And we're going to finish off with some book news.

Stephen King's new novella rattlesnakes is an actual sequel to the book Coojo. Huh. Okay. All right. That's how you get rid of a rabid dog. It's just rabid rattlesnakes. Do the bats, are the bats biting rattlesnakes? Jesus, dude.

What is he? What is that? Nothing makes sense tonight. Nothing makes sense tonight. A fucking UFO is going to show up at the end of it or something. It's fucking Stephen King. I swear to not. Phillips in.

If there's UFOs, I can say. So I'm going to go on a limb and add on a limb and say movie coming shortly after on Paramount Plus? Oh, without a doubt. Yeah. Without a doubt. Or Picard? Yeah.

Start Patrick Wilson. Yeah, right. And that guy's career has kind of gone downhill, huh? Oh, Lord. Well, it's not Patrick Wilson. It's going to be fucking Aaron Eckhart or someone like that. Oh, God. Oh, boy.

He started out like he was supposed to be a fucking star. No Thomas Jane in there? I was going to say, just throw the three of them in there. Oh, excuse me, Tom, Tom, Jake. Thank you for smoking, Tom, Jay. Right, right. Yeah, it's a weird quasi-three Amigos remake, too. I know.

Cizarre. Except none of them are funny. Well, no, not intentionally, anyways. All right, that's the news. All right. Adam, you ready to go to the trailer park with us, man? I absolutely am. All right. Brian, bring us the big, the small, and sometimes the very, very weird, man. What's our first new trailer?

The first one is American Carnage. I have no idea what this movie's possibly about. I guess I'm going to read this lengthy synopsis on IEDB. Thank God, because it may shine some line on what I just saw. After a governor issues executive order to arrest children of undocumented immigrants, I'm already out because I don't see no political. Yeah, sounds like that governor's got his work cut out for him. The newly detained youth are offered an opportunity to use. What's a youth? What is a youth?

I'd hold you in contempt. you know. It made me lose my spot. Oh, Mr. Gambini. We should talk about that movie instead of this trailer. All right. We should talk about that movie instead of a lot of things we're about to talk about tonight. Okay, this is too much.

Basically, it looks like... Spoiler alert, Adam. They get offered to work at old folks home, and crazy shit goes about. on that's the synopsis. I don't know what's going on in this movie because the last 10 seconds of this movie, when that guy started contorting, I was like,

this turned into a totally separate movie than what was being so I don't know what's going on. I do. It's called shit. You know, this might do this. But I got to go be, so it looks pretty mad.

Okay. There's been. review, I get a piss. I'm not going to be part of this. Nah, this looks horrible. Horrible, man. It looks like it could be maybe entertaining in a bad way.

I don't recognize. So bad. It's good. The only, Lance, the main actor, wasn't he in that vampire movie on Netflix? Isn't that him? Yeah. Oh, Black was right?

Yep, yep. And then Eric Dane. Okay. Eric Dane, the guy who plays the main, like, the main, like, professor or whatever. the hospital is the guy from um oh god the first feast movie and then he was in um yeah he was in one of the ex exsman last stand i want to say is a multiple man like he's been around for a while

oh that was him yeah yeah yeah nothing nothing about this gets my attention because it looks so unfocused like there's no story here it's like it starts off as one thing and then it changes into another, and then you got all these little trite political comments that may or may not mean anything to anyone, and then you get this old motherfucker contorting. So, I don't know where this movie's supposed to go,

you know? And everything that they do show on it that's supposed to grab your attention, I feel like we've all seen it a hundred times. I know, man. Like, it doesn't look original at all, which, you know, I'm all fine, you know, paying homage and stuff like that's cool, but it just looks like a bunch of

their influence just slapped together. Like, here you go. Here's a really, really shitty sort of half-baked political theme about it, about racism and things. Okay, great. Great.

Yeah, probably, don't get mad at me for what I'm about to say. Probably directed by a white person. I'd say that's probably a safe bet. You know, I mean, I think this would probably get some people's attention, but I don't know.

It looks terrible. It, like, guess, like Brian said, all of a sudden the guy contorts at the end. It's like I mean, now if we, if they'd shown that through the whole trailer, I'd be interested. You know? That looked kind of cool until his skin started rippling,

which that effect didn't look great. No, that did not look great at all. Well, you know how sometimes they, you know, tighten up on the special effects, though, after the trailer. So, I mean, if the whole movie was like that, great. But it's just so unfocused. So unfocused.

Yeah. She-Hulks not going to do that either. It's going to be trash. What? We're all going to watch it. We're all going to watch it. You're going to come back and you're going to say it's fun. What are they going to pick the CGI?

I mean, it's Disney. They'll do whatever they want to do. I might just not. This is what you get. Love it. Yeah. Oh, shit, dude. It says Marvel.

You love Marvel. I got to throw this in here, man. I got two things to say about Six Flags, man, since I was there all day today. Yoga pants and short shorts. That's all I have to say. You bought some? No, but I definitely felt like that dirty old man in the Six Flags commercial that dances and where's the glasses and... To Vanga boys?

They make me feel pretty. Leave me alone. All right. Anyway. All right. So nobody is interested in American Carnage, which comes out. You heard me changing the subject. I think we talked about a bunch of things. I hope it's going to be good.

I like Jenna Ortega, but I... She's in this movie? Yeah. Is she in it? Yeah. Dude, Brian, you're right. She is in literally everything, man. Yeah.

Why is she not in the cast listening? She's not even top build. Wow. Really? The link to the... trailer you said and said her was her first name. Are we talking about a different movie, guys? I mean, I didn't see her, but...

Maybe you guys saw someone that looked like, Gena Ratega. I think we're drowning here. What's the next, yeah, what's the next trailer? I don't see a release date. You don't watch it. It don't matter. Yeah, nobody's going to watch it. Nobody gives it. The next and final trailer is a movie that probably shouldn't be watched.

either, and that is mid-century starring Stephen Lang and I believe Bruce Stern. Shane West and Bruce. Shane West. I haven't seen Shane West. The last thing I've seen him in was that show Salem. Oh,

that's right. Salem, yeah. Show? I know he played it was a good show. I know he played a shitty version of Bain and Gotham. Did he? Yes, he did. Yeah. Yeah, I quit on Gotham after the first season. that's completely fair

yeah people move into a vacation home that's a murder home that's the synopsis I'm going to give for this movie very very house on haunted hillish from the 90s that's the vibe I got from it all right yep I can see that

not in a good way not a good way yeah not in a good way no it just looks like again the same old dumb shit like let's let's take the stuff that you know, didn't work in all these movies like in the American Horror Story the show. Let's put it in a movie.

Let's get Shane West. Who the fuck? What? Unbelievable, man. Yeah, I don't know what's going on in trailer. I can't tell if he's, is he in this vacation home alone or

with somebody? Because at times it seems like he's alone, then he's like calling somebody saying there's shit happening in the house. And I'm like, if shit's happening in the house, get the fuck out. Right. I mean, 100%. And then I could already tell you know, it's such an easily telegraphed thing, too.

Right. You know, you know somehow he's going to be related to Stephen Lang or some bullshit. And Stephen Lang, you're better than this. Yeah, he's just the perennial bad guy now, I guess, huh? Stephen Lang? Yeah, he's like the new Sid-Hake. He's like the new Sid-Hig. Oh, he wishes he was.

God God forbid you say Compared to Sid Hey Adam's shame on you Shame Shame Well I don't have a problem With Stephen Lang

No wasn't he nominated for an Oscar What the fuck Lance Take it easy A lot of people have been nominated for an Oscar That doesn't mean they're That's true Stephen Lang is also in one of the top grossing films of all time He has retorted for its sequels

Sid Haig is dead Avatar Oh my God Alex Are we laughing at Sid Haig or Avatar? We can't laugh at Sid Haig Respect guys, come on I can't take Stephen Lang

serious anymore after What was the commentary you were on? Don't breathe two or whatever That gave him a name Yeah Can we move on guys? Like Norman Normanson or something? I'm getting

mad now. Hey man, I'll tell you what, though. Stephen Lang, best things ever done, Ike Clanton and Teamstone. You know for the longest, I didn't know that was him. Oh, wow. You got me. He did such a fantastic job on that. For the longest, I didn't know that was Stephen Lang. Me neither. Just like, just like I didn't realize it's Billy Bob Thornton as the dude's gab. Slapping the dealer. Favorite scene ever. Yeah, it's a great scene. skin that smoke wagon to see what happens. Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot you were there.

You may go down. I love it, man. It's great, great, great, great. Stephen Lang, he don't take no lip from no bartender. Nope, nope. He'll cut your Pips heart out. Well, that should tell the listeners how we feel about these T trailers because we talked about She-Hulk and... Chubstone.

Yeah. I thought it was like a my bad guy, my dad is a serial killer kind of a thing. That's what I, that's what I'm thinking that's probably. Probably, yeah. It's probably one of those movies where none of that is even really happening. Yeah, probably. Oh, God. If it's a fucking dream.

Oh, God. I hate that shit so much. It's such a cheap tactic. Bobby Ewing 2.0, huh? Oh. Who shot J.R. You know what, though? Why do I care?

I'm not going to watch the fucking thing. Yeah. You don't want with it. Go wacky. Go fucking nuts. Well, you know, in fairness, Brian has brought us some great trailers the last couple of weeks.

So we were due a couple of turds. So, you know, it all evens out. Can be winners every week. No, not every week. Hey, for every week. A for effort, buddy. Thank you. At least someone here fucking recognizes all the work you do.

Thank you. Or E for explicit. I don't think anybody cares what IMDB says this movie is expected this year. Okay. You could expect it all you want. And that's the last trailer. All right. On to listener feedback. This week, the podcast spotlight shines on Happy Horror Time. Happy Horror Time is hosted by Tim Murdoch and Matt Emmert to off-the-wall gay guys who love scary movies.

We discuss new horror films spoiling everything along the way and interview horror stars and insiders. We're unpolished, unscripted, and a ton of fun. And we get a shout out. from them as well. Truly, really appreciate it so much. Yeah. It seemed to have a really cool operation yourself. Thank you. Yeah.

Yeah, they were very appreciative of us kind of shouting them out there. And they do a good job over there. Yeah. Dude, two gay guys talking about horror movies? How awesome can that be? And Zim Vader, listening to all the old episodes that I missed.

and it's awesome hearing them, but I also like being in a little time machine. Hearing the news section talk about the upcoming, It or Halloween remakes, and all the rumors about what they will and won't feature is an extra layer of fun in these old episodes. Yeah. Wow.

Curit of music, Adam. Courtesy of Universal Music, Adam. Yeah. We got butt-fucked by Universal Music. We had to take all of our musical cues out. So unfortunately, it finally happened to you guys, huh? It happened. Hey, you went for a while.

Figured it went. Yeah, we did. We did. I look, I try to find a bright spot out of it. I know a lot of people have been saying they've been enjoying getting a chance to go back and listening to old episodes and kind of seeing where we started and where we are. That's cool, man. Yeah.

Talking about movies that never actually came to be, right? Like, oh, this one's coming out in a year, and then it never happened. Yeah. I wonder how wrong we were about Halloween. Probably very wrong. We're probably wrong about a lot of things. That happens. Tim Davis says, love you guys.

Also from Tim, regarding the upcoming film Z3. This will be the movie I watched the most this year. Z-3. Adam? It is a... Nope. It's a Disney zombie. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Disney zombie. So, like, all the Disney princesses turn into zombies? I don't know. That sounded kind of weird, Lance. Lance, you got... You got issues, bro. No, that'd be awesome, dude. Elsa has the power to freeze you

and bite you in the neck and turn you. She could just do that anyway. She doesn't need to be a zombie. She could freeze your invite if you wanted to. How is that spelled, Brian, or Phil, Z3? Z3. No, well, I tried the number, and it's just, I'm not finding it. I got a letter Zeta and the number three.

I don't know what that is. Yeah. Or for our Canadian listeners, Zed. Yeah. uh dim nose though uh i i'm just glad my my kids my kids are grown out of the the whole disney young shows or whatever yeah well does that yeah i've i've seen clips of the the other ones it's disney channel young people oh 100% i'm looking at it right now some of that stuff is fun fun though. Apparently, yeah, there was

two other ones. I don't know. I've heard the Enkanto songs about 100,000 times. Well, oh yes. Hey, guys, guys, I remember when my kids used to come home on Friday nights and watch Sabrina the teenage witch

and I always had a crush on the two aunts, her two aunts. Okay. If I have to see a fucking red panda one more time, I swear to God. Oh, turning red.

Turning red. Oh, my God. Oh, my fucks. Yeah. It's a good movie, though, man. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Do you have a heart at him? No, yeah, I do. I like to, I like to two the first three times. Right. It's when you have to watch them 50 fucking time. Yeah. Look at me, Daddy. I'm a red panda. Oh, great.

Right. Yeah, awesome. Yeah, yeah, sure. I want to be a red panda when I grow up. Yeah. Great. Yeah. I understand the red is like for blood.

like you two will have a period young girl when you grow up you know I don't think I'm gonna have that I'm not gonna have that conversation with my six year old yet I'm gonna tell you're not too too soon too soon a little bit I mean I don't know how you do that well and it's that's probably the mom's responsibility frankly it's not it's not something you've been through Adam unless there's something you're not telling us there's some girls that started like eight I'm telling you oh yeah it's her She's all heavy flow. No joke.

We got one on our soccer team. Oh, boy. Yeah. She's got to take like puberty blockers because she's like, like, aye, aye. That's enough. That's enough. I have no idea.

I talked about a, about a Disney movie. Is that how we got here? That's how we got here. This is bad. Disney brought us to maturity and girls. Oh, my God. This episode's going to go down in history as, well, hell, Universal music will probably find a way to

fucking sue us over this episode. Just what we're saying. Or Disney. I mean, all you got to say is, you know what, all you got to say is, I wish that I could pee like the cool kids. Welcome back, Adam.

Thanks. This is the least offensive shit that I've said in a while. Oh, boy. Well. All right. Let's see. Regarding the action returns, American Ninja episode

I used to love those movies I fucking love those movies so much Zim Vader says I'm a bit late to the party with this episode but it's amazing oozed nostalgia Nice nice Adam if you're not listening to the action returns On our network you need to man

Fucking Nets will take you to the entire movie scene by scene We are a spoiler podcast Yeah, super Unless it's new. Unless it's new, we don't do spoilers. I wanted to be a ninja so bad when I was a kid. Because Michael Judacoff?

Maybe you were. Yeah. Maybe you were, man. There's a fucking ninja with the laser in this movie. It's amazing. Did you know that back when canon films had the rights to Spider-Man, they wanted to make Michael Dudacoff, Peter Parker? I wouldn't have watched it.

I would have watched it. I would have watched it. I would 100% watch that. I would watch that right now. It's not too late. It's not too late. He'll be the old Peter Parker. Hey, we got the multiverse.

Everybody can be Peter Parker. Yeah, why not? Stephen Lang can be Peter Parker. No, Stephen Lang's a bad guy. He's Doc Ock. Sid Hey, could be too. It'd just be the Zon. Yeah, why not?

I have to do a, you know, do computer graphics and recreate him, right? No, just string them up like a puppet. He'd say, God damn, that's some good fried chicken.

Oh, that's way better than my joke. All right. Regarding the Horror Chronicles podcast, Gerald Tuberville says, thanks for sharing. Horro Chronicles podcast.

That's a mouthful. Probably because I'm drunk. I can't fucking read this name. Oh, you're going to have a lot of that tonight. With these fucking Nordic movies. Yeah, you're in trouble, buddy. Yeah. You're fucked tonight, Philip.

I'm going to try it, though. At Siri, Tangan, Zeran, Chavez Ramos. No, the Chavez Ramos, I got. All right, you got that part. Happy birthday, Ferruza bulk. Yeah, all right. Yeah, some witchcraft going on. I can't stand her.

Oh, come on. Yeah, I've never been crazy about her either. Bobby Boucher's mom was right. Yeah, yeah. You know, not to us. Who is Farooza? The crazy one in the craft. Oh, from the craft.

Okay. I was confusing her. her red verruca salt but you know speaking of which I mean if you see the last craft movie yeah unfortunately no I've missed it on purpose

did did you like how they they try to connect it to the original one because the new one's called legacy yeah yeah David Ducovney is a sexy psychiatrist there you go that's what sold me originally that's what got me 100% not the shitty special

effects or yeah a little little California case and going on. Yeah, right, that's what I'm talking about. David Cupney. Hey, he's still making it. I guess. It's got more money than any of us or all of us combined. Yes. Also very true.

I want to argue with you on that one. Regarding Amityville, too, Stephen Lobelad says the best one out of the bunch. Brian? Do you agree? You'll hear the review. All right. Come to Patreon first, then to the public.

after that. There you go. You're an expert. You see more Amityville movies than anyone on the planet, so. I'm thinking about

I'm also going to do some documentaries about the actual I think of them. Do they actually have those? Oh yeah. About the, the Fayo murders.

Oh, are you serious? Oh, there's a fuck out of them, dude. I should. I would be playing more inclined

to watch that. Did you? Brian, have you seen the one my Amityville horror? where it's about the boy the Lutz boy? Yeah, it's the actual son from the Lutz family.

Okay. And he tells the story. Huh. Okay. It's pretty fucking good. It's definitely on my lengthy list of Amityville movies. Yeah, it's a good one, man. Yeah.

I think Philip would watch my Amityville UFO. You'd have him at UFO. Well, I like the true crime kind of shit, man. I'd totally watch some documentaries on Amityville. Yeah, especially with the brother that was actually there. That sounds pretty cool. What if it was aliens the whole time, Philip? Amityville in space.

It's coming. Bill in space. There's only one way Amityville got there. You were both. It seems to be the way religion works. Right? Maybe. Heaven's Gate.

Heaven's Gate. Heaven's Gate. There it is. Well, and that's why I was mentioning the Heaven's Gate guy, right? Because I watched the Mormon true detective thing, which is very culty. I. No offense, Mormons. Just saying.

No, offense, Mormons. They're not. They're not listening to this. Don't worry. I work for a Mormon. Worst businessman I've ever worked for. Really? I would much rather work for somebody that's been.

like a vicious, you know, profiteering business man, because they'll keep the company open. The Mormon I worked for just let everybody run all over him. Like, half the staff sued him. We just lost our Mormon fan base. I was going to say, we lost on one bottom.

Off the fucking rails so many times. I couldn't, I couldn't care less, man. We lost our Mormon fan base and our two female listeners. And any pretexts. We'll never lose our female listeners. Oh, I don't know. I think we lost them last week when we started talking about the misogyny and then it went straight to talk.

Marcy, Heather, Samantha, you guys know who you are. You'll never leave us. Hell, the Sid-Hag appreciation society. You knew who we were. You knew who we were, guys. You knew who we were. And you're still listening. So they're not going to get turned away from this.

God forbid there's any red panda zoo handlers. You guys are fucked. We did lose them, didn't we? Fuck. I'd get a red panda in a second if I could. They're adorable. And they're probably very expensive.

Yeah. And illegal to own. Not in Texas, motherfucker. All right. That's it. Stop it. Stop it. Hey, you heard the Joe Rogan episode. There's more tigers in captivity in Texas than there are in the wild period.

What about Lance? Segway, segue. What about land? We'll find out soon. But if you'd like to help us out, please consider becoming a Patreon patron. We'll let you pick the movies for a future show at any amount. And for $5 a more a month, also pick a commentary for a future bonus show. If you have a chance, please give us a five-star Apple Podcast review.

Or send some hate mail. What the fuck ever. And don't forget, we have comments asked going on. We love hate mail. Have we ever gotten any? Don't call it a contest. Oh, yeah. We've gotten some hate mail.

You're welcome. I don't think so. Maybe once. I promise you're going to get some after tonight, so don't worry. And... I hope so. I hope so, man. It won't be from St. Hague.

Hey! I was going to say Rob Zobby is going to be super pissed off. I know, right? Stan Lee might write along with St. Haig, you know. We know he's an avid listener. He's probably pissed at our Lawrence of Salem, because that's probably one of my lowest reviewed movies ever.

Would you say like how old? Like six feet under? Like Sid Haig? Nice. We really do love Sid Haig over here. I fucking love that guy, dude. I've met him like several times.

I got a bunch of shit signed by him. He's awesome. He was awesome. That's why it's a joke, man. Adam, Adam, you know who we don't love? Because he's a cock sucker and an asshole. Jesus.

And I'll say it right now. I don't be Jesus. No, not Jesus, although he could be too. Jeff Daniel Phillips, fuck you asshole. You wouldn't give us an interview. You send us along. I know you listen sometimes,

cock sucker. So fuck you, man. And if you want to fight that, come on to the show. Yeah, that's real enticing. Because you're a dickhead. Lance has got a surprise for you. No, especially now.

All right. Herbert Monster himself. Hey, Herman Monster, how's it going? Let's use the Ouija board. It's Sid Haig. Oh, God. No Ouija board movies. Despite what Kevin Mazz loves.

Fuck Ouija board movies. All right. And don't forget, we have a contest going on. So email us at the horror returns at gmail.com. Over. Over my bed. Okay, so who won? Who won?

That will be announced next week. I have to get all the names together. I'm not going to do it right here because we've gone off the rail. Gone off the rail a few times. I think Jeff Daniel Phillips is in there, so he may win. He's qualified. Disqualified. Do you guys give out like posthumous surprises?

Does he go? The Stan Lee Award. Nice. All right. On to our featured attractions. These ought to be fun to talk about because we've got a couple of fucking weird movies for you. This week we go to Europe. The Center of Weird to check out Lamb as well as the brand new hatching.

The Center of Weird. Yeah. Zicenta, Beard. I like gold. and the Dutch. We're going to start with Lamb, who's from Iceland, right? Yeah, that's Icelandic. All right.

So I don't know how Europe and Iceland is, but... Well, it's still Europe. Does that count as Europe? Trust me. Trust me, Russia wants both these countries that we're going to talk about tonight. They want them big time. If they join NATO, I will nuke America if you join NATO. That's the worst Russian accent ever.

Is that what that was? I was trying, dude. I tried, man. I know. I thought you were having a stroke. I apologize. I truly apologize, man. You know who else had a stroke?

Who's... Which one's better? All right. All right. Lamb, 2021. A childless couple discovers a mysterious couple discovers a mysterious newborn on their farm in Iceland. Mysterious is not exactly word for it. Director is Voldemir Johan.

Here we go. Valdemort. Waldemar Johansen, also known for his short film Don, as well as camera work on Game of Thrones and Oblivion. Why didn't we have Lars from Denmark on this show with us? I know, right? pronunciations, come on. Writers are the same guy. You cheated.

I know. I don't know what happens when you put an S next to a J. So I'm going to say Joan Nalso, known for the Northman and Rick Javik whale watching massacre. It's no joke. It's pronounced Reckievic. Reciovic, okay. No joke. Adam.

Adam, did you hear Adam? He said, no joke. No, I really did it. I promise you, I did not. guys just stick to... It's up in that, right, right, you back. Too many consonants in there right next to each other that don't make sense. Yeah.

The highest grossing motion picture in the history of Icelandic cinema as of 2021, earning over $1 billion on the first weekend alone. One million dollars. And... I like how Lance is surprised by the notes that he sends everyone. This also makes this film the most attended Icelandic film shown in U.S. theaters ever again on the first weekend alone. And this, despite being pitted against big-name blockbusters like the James Bond franchise, which premiered in the USA. James Bond.

On the same. We've broken lands. Jesus. God. We love it. We love the bond, James. Is that Italian? Yeah, I was going to say,

now you're being Italian. What's going on? Are you Luigi or I said? Good Lord. Are you Jared Lido in the... Yeah. Oh, I fucking love Iceland. I like it.

Oh, good Lord. He said Hagen. He's Sid Hagen. All right. In preparation for her role, Nomi Rapace spent time on an Icelandic farm and even learned how to help a sheep birth a lamb because that was the important part of this.

I don't know what that means. This is how you inseminate. This is Italian, isn't it? I'm embarrassing my Nordic ancestry. You see my blonde hair. Uh-oh. Yeah, you got lost your fucking mind. I guess so, man.

I guess so. This show pushed me over the edge, Adam. Were you doing shrooms on those roller coasters? I wish. I wish. It would make it better. Icelandic is a weird thing, though, right? Are they, like, they're like Norsemen mixed with, like, Slavic, right?

I don't know. It's like a hundred days of day, right? Bjork is from Iceland. It's got like where Brian lives. Like Bjork is from Iceland. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the band Cigolins is from Iceland. I don't live in Iceland.

What are you talking about? She dressed up like a swan for the Academy Award. Very good. Very good, Lance. Go get a cookie. All right. Lamb, let's talk about the movie. Adam, started up, man.

All right, look, I'm not, I like slow burn horror. I'm really, I think it can be done really well when done right. Like House of the Devil or, you know, great, great, the witch, you know, great stuff. Yeah. This just felt unnecessarily slow. Yes.

Yeah, I mean, dude, the acting's all top notch. Numer Pace is fucking fantastic in it. Yeah. It looks amazing. Like the cinematography, the setting, everything's beautiful, green, lutch. Well, this is our 24 one, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So, of course,

it's beautiful. Yeah, absolutely, of course. but after, you know, an hour of them, you know, looking at the sheep baby in the crib or eating dinner with the brother, you're just like, okay, what the fuck is? I mean, what are we doing here? Like, what is happening? Like, and the thing is, like, they, first of all, if I was out of farm with somebody and I birthed a half sheep, half human, I'd be accusing that other person of. fucking the sheep, right? Like, honestly. You wouldn't just be like, I accept this.

Right. Oh, this is. Whatever. It is what it is. It was all in her right to look at him. Like, did you fuck a sheep? A thousand percent. A thousand percent.

But, you know, ultimately, the reveal of what it was, Odyssey is so out there. I thought it was kind of cool. Like, it's so bizarre. Like, what the fuck is this? But I thought it was kind of cool. But it's way too little, way too late, in a way too slow a movie.

Yeah. Okay. Lance, you want to go next? Are we going to do the spoiler alert here? No, this came about last year. This came by last year. Okay. So I can talk about the final scene then? Talk about whatever you want.

Yeah, I mean... As long as it's about the fucking movie. For God's sakes. Well, yeah, dude, no. To be totally... truthful man. The movie itself was I'm completely agreeing with the Adam that was incredibly like way too slow burn. The brother was incredibly

annoying. It's like what the fuck is this idiot even doing here? It was kind of like irritated me that he was part of the movie and I don't know man and then you find this baby sheep. The only the only cool kind of cool scene in the movie was that final scene with like the weird sheep god or whatever that came in, you know, took back to nature or whatever. I don't even know what this movie's about. To me, it makes no sense.

I think you just kind of said it. Yeah, I agree with you, though. I really never got it. I really didn't. Truthfully, you guys know I love my A-24 movies, but this one, to me, didn't, it definitely didn't have that kick for me. and there was nothing in there that made any sense. Yes, beautifully filmed.

The acting was certainly okay. Again, the brother showing up just kind of threw the whole story off for me, and I was like, what the hell? I did kind of get this feeling for a little bit that something sinister was going to go on ever since he showed up, but it never really came to fruition. There was no payoff. So I was quite more, guys. I really was.

Not a great movie for me, guys. Not a great movie. You know, real quick to interject. I think, you know, it's such a simple one-note idea that they really try to make a lot seem a lot smarter than it actually is. That's how it felt. There you go. There you go, man. That nailed it.

Yep. Brian? So far, I'm agreeing with everybody. Beautifully shot. The scenery looked amazing. The, this director, I would definitely watch something he made again.

Yeah. Because I think he has a good eye. Numi repose, I love her and almost everything she's in. Of course. But it was a little too slow. There was too much time of, I thought I was watching a day of a day

in a life of a farmer. Like, I'm going to watch everything he does for 24 hours. Yeah, I agree. I agree. Except fuck the sheep. Yeah. And another thing that I was kind of taken back by was when the sheep human is born, the reaction kind of was weird.

Like they were not as weirded out by the half sheep, half human child. Yeah. Yeah. It's a half-sheep, half-y-em-out. Okay, cool. Like, wouldn't you immediately crush its head with a rock? Like, honestly. I don't know.

It's a baby. But it's not. Not really. Holy shit. Maybe we should call a doctor or a priest. Yeah. I was a little bit. Not by it rain boots.

Yeah. But there, but there was times where it, you, You know, there was moments where I felt that it was really sad. The fact that she named this child after her dead child, I thought it was kind of sad, which I really wanted to find out what happened before. I mean, I guess I can see. There was something here, Brian. There were something here. The way they lost the child.

I guess I could see why she was so accepting of taking in this child because she had just lost the child. And I think that's why he was accepting of it because it, because it may. made her happy. Yeah, I agree with that. I think that's exactly what they're trying to say. And obviously, it's a fantasy. It's not anything real, but, you know, all good fantasy is based somewhat in reality. Yeah.

In no fucking way. I don't care how grieving a parent is. Are you going to take it a half sheep, half human baby? Yeah, like, you're going to, maybe not kill it. Like, it might be a little extreme, but you're going to call the authority. or get a scientist or accuse your husband of fucking the sheep or something

like something. And the brother, he didn't bother me. I think you need and kind of needed him because he was the only person that was kind of like what the fuck is that. Yeah, but it took him He almost didn't. I mean, it wasn't a rock at him,

but he was going to take a gun and take the shit out. Which, you know, probably a little bit more, you know, I guess. nicer but yeah well but like it seemed like at the first dinner when the fucking human with the sheephead showed up

he'd have been like what the fuck is going on here guys by the way making it wear a wool sweater is fucked up yeah yeah yeah but I I think having a brother there was necessary for that moment but that's what he was supposed to be the guy

was like, all right, let's bring it back to reality. What the fuck is going on here? This is not okay. But then he's in an 80s synth pop band. Also? I love that. I love that he still knew the moves, even though he claimed he had never seen the music video before, but then he just busted out in a routine.

Yeah, that was fun. Icelandic flock of seagulls. But overall, I mean... Run so far away. there was some enjoyable moments in it but for the most part it just it took too long to get where it needed to go and like it was cool to see the the sheet man pop up at the end it was like oh okay you're the one fucking on the sheet but then whoever that was was a big motherfucker yeah and then the movie just ends I mean he he kills he kills the husband she finds him and then she just is standing there and closes

or close her eyes and it's just done. Yeah, that's the end of the movie. So, I think what we need to get to the bottom two here is the weird centaur guy who's fucking all the sheep. Uh-huh.

That's about his sheep. Show up, fucking sheep. Uh, yeah. I know, where's, where is he from, Kentucky? Um, um,

Probably Texas, Adam Well, I mean We got sheep fucking Italian We had sheep in Texas He's probably Lance His Lance's neighbor Some weird sheep fucking commune

They all live in With horns on his head Yeah No, I mean But the thing is That part I actually thought Was the most original cool idea Because it's like

Oh, what is this? Yeah And I'm cool Probably got my attention a little bit. And I absolutely love that there's zero explanation to it. Good. Right. And then the movie ends.

Right. Because any way they would have explained it would have been, like, I don't think it would have worked. If it's some, you know, Icelandic deity or if it's, you know, a fucking sheep man's minotaur or whatever, it had just been, this is stupid. But the fact that it's just this weird thing that happens, comes out of nowhere, is carrying a rifle and then walks away. You're like,

This is, all right, cool. I'm with it. It wasn't like Thor. I think it's the same. I think it's the same rifle the uncle had that he was going to shoot. Yeah. Is that what it was? Yeah, he got the rifle out of the ship.

Yeah. See, there's probably more to this movie than we're getting, guys. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. You don't think so. No, I don't think because it's pretty straightforward, man. All right.

It takes him so long to get. get there, if there was more to it, it seems like they would have fucking told you. I think it's simplest. I think it's simplest. It's a movie about loss and grief and the sort of extent people will go to to replace something or something they loved or lost. I get all that. Yeah.

See it a thousand times. But that's literally all it is. Yeah, but it's a weird one about that. And I feel like when you have, it's sort of a modern. folk tale, right? But typically folk tales have some sort of moral to the story,

and this one kind of didn't. I completely agree. Actually, I think, I think, no, I think you kind of hit it on the head. I think if it would have gotten that moral, it would have made for a much stronger movie. Yeah. Instead of just sort of black screen at the end,

oh my God, I lost everybody again. Yeah, there's... It's so bleak. Almost always something underneath. that's telling me what this story is. Like that fucking movie we watched with the guy that was given birth to himself 100 times, whatever the thing.

Right. Okay. So they may have had some sort of story that they were telling you. Obviously, that was it. But they were telling me. I enjoyed that one, dude. I made up my own story for that one. You know that.

I love that movie. And I think that's five. This one won't. I'm not even that angry at it, but like, yeah, there's, there's almost always some sort of pretty obvious story there that they're telling you, some sort of moral to the story.

And this just seemed like a story. And it wasn't not interesting, but it was really long for the... Yeah, let's face facts. This movie was fucking boring. Yeah, I mean, yeah. Like this, you can describe this movie in a couple of sentences and, and you're good, right? Yeah, this should have been a straight to shutter movie, right?

Yeah. Or, or. I shouldn't have gone to the theater to see this, but I did. I just, I feel like there should have been something more to it. And there was. It was just, it was, it was as straightforward as it presents itself. And it was, it was very simple. And it was interesting.

it was just, they strung it out over two hours, and there wasn't that much story there. I much prefer Black Phillip over this lamb. Well, yeah, and which was kind of a slow burn, you know? Oh, yeah, but it was good. It was good. Well, and they were leading to something, and they kept building on it. Yeah, they kept giving you something a little bit on the way.

This one. like I said, you're just watching a farmer's life for a good portion. Yeah. It's a farmer's life for me. That's why I kind of appreciated when they were partying and dancing to the music video. I was like, okay, this is a nice change of paints right here. Yeah. Doing something.

Right. They're doing fucking something. Again, it just feels, it felt sort of needlessly cruel at the end. Like, I don't think the Numi repase came. character, like, she wasn't like a terrible person. You got the idea that maybe she had an affair with the brother at one point. Maybe. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I get that. I think that was heavily implied. Yeah, right. Something was going on. Still, like, and could you blame her? You know? I mean, he's in a fucking, he's in a sweet-ass band. Of course she went to him.

Right. Yeah. How it goes. But it's just, so that means the husband dies that her surrogate child gets taken away and now she's left with nothing

it's like that just doesn't seem fair I guess even though it's a movie I get it but it just seemed just needlessly cruel yeah weird ending yeah like there's no finality to it sounds like none of us are huge fans

right I don't think it's a bad movie I just too slow yeah like there's something there They just didn't hit it. But the one, you know, the one thing you could say about it, too, whether it's slow or it's boring, it's not forgettable. That's true.

You're going to remember it. It's a weird fucking movie. Especially that last scene, right? Exactly. Exactly. That's a pretty good, that's a pretty good little button that scene. It's just, in all honesty, if it would have ended with him walking away with the cheap child and then went to black, I'd have like, all right, cool. I think the extra three minutes you get of her coming up, finding the husband, crying, close her eyes, and I'm going to black.

You don't need it. You don't need it. I agree, man. I agree. All right. Let's go scores on lamb. Adam 1 to 10. You know, a letterbox because it's a 1 to 5 system, I gave it like a 2.5 or a 3, I think.

So 1 to 10, I'd probably go like a 6 and a half. Like I said, it's legit. It's legit to look at that final button with the Goh character. It's super cool. No member pays is really good in it. But it's just, you know, it's a, hey, it's original. Yeah, that's true. At least it's not a remake of some bullshit.

Yeah. Right. No shit. At least they tried something new, for sure. Lance? Four on 10. Four on 10. That sounds about right.

Brian? It's not horrible. It's not horrible. I think I'm leaning towards what Adam said, six and a half. Would I recommend this movie? I would. I would tell them if you want to watch something strange, but I would warn them about the super slow burnness of this movie.

Right. But I 100% agree with whether you like the movie or not, you don't forget what you've seen in it. Fair enough. And I think the director, as far as visuals, I think it looked great. So kudos to that guy. And I definitely, what was his name again, Phil? Waldemar Johansson.

Yeah, I would definitely, like, if I read he's got another movie coming out, I would definitely check it out. That means son of Johan. Yes. just so you know yeah I'm gonna go I think I'll go six on it

I think that sounds fair it's I mean it was definitely well done it was just it was more of the writing than anything else I think that was a problem

it was just it it took too long to get to the things that they were trying to get to and I'm not sure what the point was when they got there. You know? Like, I, I, I feel like there's some better things ahead for all of the people involved in this.

And, of course, Numer Pace is fantastic. Well, she's been in a lot of good stuff. Yeah, she's great. And she does. I love her. So, uh, I, I, I don't think that it necessarily hurt anybody. Like we were talking about with, uh, Jared Letto earlier. Well, hopefully Finland and Sweden won't join NATO so we don't get nuked by Putin, right?

We shall see. We could be playing this in four weeks, and we're all nuked, and it doesn't matter, right? We get nuked. Oh, wait, this one was Iceland. The next one's from Finland, right? The next one's from Finland. Okay. Way to alienate Icelanders and Finlanders.

saying one fucking sense. I'm doing it all tonight, Adam. We love you, Björn't everybody. You're just as fucking weird as this movie he is. Next movie is Hatching, 2022. A young... I don't know what you're doing.

A young gymnast who tries desperately to please. her demanding mother discovers a strange egg. She hides it and keeps it warm. But when it hatches, what emerges will shock them all. Oh, yeah. Okay.

Director is Hannah Bergholm, also known for Puppet Master, but not that Puppet Master. Okay. Which one then? Yeah. Which Puppet Master? Is there another puppet Master? that we don't know. Wait a minute.

Who wrote the notes? Who writes the notes? You know who wrote these notes. Lance. They asked you which puppet master. You did he? And you go, yeah, which one? Come on, dude.

We got to keep it interesting. I don't know what puppet master do y'all? Was there a fanlandian puppet master? I don't know. Was there? Apparently. Lance. All right.

Fuck you, Lance. Writers are Elja Routsy also for Knight of the Living Dix. There you go. Now you're talking Adam's language.

Are you kidding me? That's why that's so solid. The film currently sits at 91% on rotten tomatoes. Which is something for that. Okay. That's such bullshit. Wow.

Oh, hello alert for Adam's review. Oh, wow. So this puppet master that Lance apparently doesn't know what the fuck he wrote. What? Is a 15 minute short. Okay. From a 2018. So it's not even like a...

I'm not even like a... I'm not even a thing. Nobody even knows what it is. Why would you include that? I wrote a 50-minute short when I was taking a shit last night. A thousand percent. All right. Where is Charles banned when you need him?

Here's another name. I'm going to fuck up. Series Solalina, who was only 13 years old at the time of filming, stated that the selection process was long and exciting. Okay. Fucking, seriously? First. I'm guessing if she's the younger gymnast.

First, as an applicant. You wrote these. You fucking typed this out. You took the time to type this. And make sure we all got it. and sent it to us and all have it queued up in front of us

and you have no fucking clue what it is. Adam, I was praying that you would know the backstories to all these trivia points, man. Why does it matter? You don't. You're the guest.

You're supposed to know all the... You're the host. You're the host. Jesus. First, as an applicant, She made a two-minute test video. She had to roar scream and perform gymnastic movements.

Based on that, she got the first test shot shot, followed by two more shots. Roar shots? Like the worst shots? Now it was time for the casting directors to choose from the top six candidates. So apparently she won. Apparently, end of story. Good job, Lance. Adam, you were in there, though, weren't you?

Adam, weren't you one of the six? No, no, because you would have put that in the notes. If you know that, then it's clearly not in the notes. After the first shot, Adam was like, I'm out. Yeah. This is too much. When they asked Adam to start molting, he said, I'm done. Yeah, well, in my head, I'm like, I better get out or else this drunk hillbill.

He's going to write a bunch of notes about me. I got no way. All right. All right. Hatching. Adam, you just watched it, right?

Yeah. Yeah, I finished it about 20 minutes before we started. Nice. I don't, I don't remember much about it because it fucking sucked.

I absolutely hated this movie. Oh, come on, oh, yeah, not for me. not at all.

It's just, it's so fucking, like, you know where it's going all the time. Right, right. It was just weird thing. The little, the kid was good, good, a little actor, she was fine. The mom was, everybody was capable. But then once that fucking puppet

came out of that egg, I literally audibly went, oh, what the fuck is this? It was... I know, dude. It's looking. It's not weird. Bird skeleton.

It looks, yeah, right, sure, from Five Night at Freddy's. Like, it looked ridiculous. It looked fucking ridiculous. And then, like, yeah, it starts to change and all that into, like, a weird version of her because of... I know. The blood or the tears or whatever the fuck, the vomit, whatever it is. So bad. Yeah.

And, by the way. I like doing the beat came off. Matthias or Matthias or whatever. I want to kick that kid through the... upright. It's like a fucking field goal. Fuck that kid. That little shithead. Was that the little dude that looked just like

his dad? I know we're not in spoilers, but why didn't he die? It seems like should have. Both of them should have. They were comic relief. Oh, the dad too, yeah. Yeah. I'm glad the dad didn't die because he was completely harmless.

Well, I know, but they both were. Adam, would you agree that this was like the asylum version of Jurassic Park? No. No, I would not. Was it that bad? No. But in no way was I watching this going, this is just like Jurassic Park. That never happened.

I got to tell you. But, Jesus Christ. No, it's terrible. No, it's really, the thing is, there's a kind of, a weird, cool idea here. You can see where they maybe, like, it compares in to our last movie,

I think this has a really solid idea that they couldn't carry off, where the other one had just kind of a simple idea, but a lot of stuffing around it. This one is like they're trying too much with very little. Because even like the makeup effects were kind of piss poor.

It's just, nah, nah, I'm good. I don't, you know, I don't give a fuck about gymnastics. All right. Lance, what do you think? There's nothing else I can say.

Adam said it all. Pass. All right, we're going to pass it on to Brian. All right, a couple bright spots. I thought, I actually thought the little girl was pretty good in it. I heard for her to play dual roles. I thought that was pretty good for her only being

what 13 at the time I don't know why that's how old was she That's what that's what they said in the notes right Who ever read the notes? 13 years old at time yes But I do agree There was an idea in here That I thought was a good idea

But they didn't stick it right And yeah You've seen everything coming You've seen what was going to happen There was no explanation on where the egg came from, what the, because when it, it's kind of hard, not spoiled, but basically, it's a doppelganger of her that it turns into. And you don't, you don't understand why it's happening or what the connection is. And another thing that kind of just really bummed me out about the movie was when you see the trailer, I was sold that the mother was way worse than she actually. turned out to be. I mean, she's pretty

shitty in the movie, but the trailer just made this family seem like they're fucking just strange. Strange. Strange. She's like pushy, but is she an awful person? She's like a dance mom. Yeah, exactly. That's really it. And she's kind of fair

that the husband knows about it's an open sort of relationship. Yeah, the husband even says the guy's a good guy that wife's with. And I'm going to tell you a hard reality. Sometimes kids, especially when they're 12, 13 years old, need to be pushed. It just is what it is. You can let them live on their own prices, but.

I don't know. You push until they got blisters on their hands. Well, yeah. She went a little over board. Everybody parents different, I guess. She went a little close to board, but it always plays off as like a negative thing. And it's like, Mm-hmm.

Yeah, that's what I'm, what you're there for to mold your child. That's what I'm saying. Go ahead. No, I was going to say the, the, if y'all think about it, the nails from the,

the bird were kind of like the same as the nails from the mother, right? So, yeah, I'm sure she was kind of seeing that in there. Yeah. Yeah,

it's, it's, I was just sold on her being way worse in the trailer, but Adam, you said it right, but she was basically a dance mom. and you know trying to trying to push her YouTube channel

and you know she had this whole image and oh yeah that's true yeah which that was the most realistic part of the whole fucking movie to be honest those people 100% exist yeah that's what's going on now right those people dead ass exist for sure hi everyone

welcome to my house in our perfect family just got back from Trader Joe's I got some, I got some, I got some cum quad at Whole Foods. It is delicious. Here's my child that I'm living my life through. Oh, is it she perfect? Honey, pirouette.

I said, pirouettes. See, there was times when I thought the movie was going to take a left turn, like when you get introduced to the new neighbors. kid that, yeah, when you get introduced to the neighbor's kid and she's basically better than your daughter and just the way the mother would throw looks at her, I'm like, okay,

this is where we're going to get the crazy mom. She's going to do something. She's going to sabotage. I thought she was going to fucking snap, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Never really happened, right? Once Johan, or whatever the fuck his name is, took away his probably giant uncircumcised member. That's when

she finally got upset. So that the guy with the leather suspenders? Yeah, dude. Come on. You know that guy's hanging dog. You know for a fat. Jesus Christ, man. Come on. Look at that guy.

His name is definitely Johan. Dude, he's making shims using a hatchet. That guy hangs brain for sure. Yeah, he's definitely slinging dick. Big vainy, son of a bitch. Yep. Yo hung. Yep.

That's him. Uh, yeah, no, I, I, I, I thought it was a decent movie. Um, it had a little more behind the surface, I think, than lamb did. Uh, it was, uh, yeah, no, I think this was, uh, Tina's unbridled hormones. I mean, I think that's all. I mean, yeah, clearly it was an allegory for puberty at the same time. Yeah. Yeah. So this was also, turning red then, right? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Much like your face, Lance. But yeah, very much a turning red thing, but just much more serious.

And they threw the mother allegory in there where she was pushing too hard. And I'm not sure where they were going with that because they didn't like specifically say anything. about it but it had something to do with it so they weren't exactly clear on the comparison but i i still think it was it's pretty decent see i'm i'm looking at the poster right now they're all wearing them them paper machet mask being all weird and you don't get none of that in the none of it yeah oh no yeah no by the way how blind are these fucking adults when they see the doppelganger and she got scars all over her face white eyes yeah teeth growing out of her cheek and they're like start Well, really?

And all she does is like, yeah, Hansen Crab Walk across the floor. Well, I mean, it tells me a lot when they don't even know it's a giant fucking egg in her bed. I guess that's true. I guess that's true. Also, I don't think eggs grow. Just, well, this one does. You know what, though?

This one does. Hey, by the way, there aren't doppelgangers either, so I guess fuck it. Right. Like, let's just go with it. There may be Adam. Are there? Fat Damon. I mean, I guess so.

All right, scores. Not a terrible movie for me. Adam, what do you think? Oh, man. I'll go, I mean, honestly, at best, three and a half. Ooh, ouch. It's worse than lamb. Oh, yeah, I hated it.

At least Lamb looked good. Yeah, also true. Lance? Four on ten. Four on ten. Yeah, it's not terrible. It's not the same. Yeah, about the same as Lamb for me.

It's not terrible. But, I don't know. Not a cup of tea. Brian? I'll give it a five. I didn't hate it, but I definitely didn't. love it. I probably won't be revisit it. I did

think the main actress for her to do dual roles and kind of play two different versions of herself. I thought she did pretty good. I didn't really hate the puppet effects when it really looked bad to me as when they threw some CGI

on top of it. Yeah. I thought you could have just left it alone with just a puppet. Yeah. And there was a good idea in there, but like I said, earlier they just they didn't stick the landing on this one and I really wanted a crazy family aspect to the movie like the mom was just completely psycho but she was just a

like Adam said a dance mom a YouTuber you know a whatever you call them social media whatever and then you just got the typical shitty little son and then the dormant husband and that's it and Apparently they'd never go into their child's room ever. It's like they made a movie about me. Yeah, I'm going to go, I think, five and a half on this one. Ah, okay. I think it was definitely not as well made as lamb,

but it had more substance and interesting shit to the. the story than that did. I like where they went. I think it maybe could have been a little different, but at least they had sort of a moral to the story-ish. I don't know. Don't find eggs? Nah.

Your daughter's about to be a monster, and there's nothing you can do about it. Too close to home, maybe. Yeah. Um, I, it was okay. It was an entertaining movie. I wasn't mad at it. Spoilers.

This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. You've been fucking warned. This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. You've been fucking warned. This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. You've been fucking warned. What can you spoil on this, Anna? I mean, really.

not much right the you know the mom accidentally kills the actual daughter and then the other one stands up and somehow face freaking out i guess because the other girl's blood got to her mouth or whatever is that what it was i think so i have no fucking idea i did i did of course it had to do with blood i i didn't like that but i did like the actress how she pulled it off though just the way she was yeah she was good man i mean and the thing is okay she did look like two different different characters, even though it was clearly the same actress. Or a 13-year-old girl, that was good. Yeah, I agree. The way she was during the movie, she was just kind of meek and, you know, timid and just constantly trying to, you know, please her mom. And then when you get that final shot of the doppelganger becoming her, you know, she's just, she looked more confident and just kind of sinister with the way she was looking. And I just kind of really liked that performance out of her.

You know, was this our only movie, Lance? No, take it. Jesus God. Who took the notes? Adam, didn't you take all the notes or what? Wow, Lance. Keeping the joke alive. What was their name?

Sebastian Shiko, Cheshachas. It's Siri Solien. Fuck if I know, man. No, I have no idea. I have no idea. Siris Salilini. No, this is it. I'm looking right now.

I'm looking. This is the only movie. All right. All right. somebody's got IMDB for fun yeah no man yeah but they're there they do your job that's cool it is a thing Adam I am he is a thing yeah I know I use it you don't but there was there was there was times in a movie where like I said I wanted the mudd her go crazy like when right the other girl was in the gym and she was basically just outshined her her kid and then the coach was all like oh you're

you're great and then she was to shoot her look I'm like okay she's gonna do something to this other girl but just because you You get some of that in the beginning when they catch the crow, and then she takes the crow and snaps the neck. Right? Yeah. Like, okay, this is where we're going to go with this character, and we never get anywhere close to that throughout the movie.

Yeah. I mean, that's a good point. I just feel like if they were going to have this sort of storyline, then they, like, they should have had something more. positive with it. Like, does she have to be a monster? Can we not find some kind of heartwarming thing at the, I mean, I know that's cheesy, but

some kind of heartwarming thing at the end between the mother and the daughter. Eggs at the end or something like that? Oh, yeah. I hate the mother. She's actually a monster too because she went through the same shit, you know, something like that. Right.

I don't know. Yeah. I know. According to IMDB, this is all she's done. So there. I literally answered that question fucking five minutes ago.

We had a whole conversation about IMD. Yeah, but I didn't hear you answer it. I'm going to need more whiskey. Oh, Lance. Okay, I guess it's the mom that's been in a lot more stuff. But not the girl. So yes. We have to give her hats off to the 13-year-old girl for a good performance, right?

She was really fucking good, man. She was really fucking good. And maybe she'll be in some other movies, right? That last scene where she was standing there staring at the camera was pretty fantastic. I'll give her a lot of credit for that. And I want to point out... It was different from the character she'd played the whole movie. I want to point out, just like Lamb, I was taken back by everybody's reaction to anything that's going on.

is just to stand there and just stare blankly. Especially the father coming in and seeing your dead daughter on the floor. And you have nothing to say. Yeah. You know. That dude didn't look like he'd have a lot to say for anything. Yeah, a bit of a schmuck, right? What is it you want me to do?

I do it. He had good things to say about suspenders. Yo-hum. Right. but I didn't get enough of the family I just I just I thought like I thought going back to Disney I was gonna I thought the son was gonna be more like

Sid from a toy story just like destroying shit and wanting to hurt people just something something man like even like a cool even like a stepford wife sort of idea anything yeah yeah sure you got nothing you got just This dork wearing fucking buttonups all the time with his son wearing the same shit. Who knows?

Who knows? Who knows and actively supports his wife cucking him? Yeah. And then, you know, it's just... Fucking nerd. Yeah, he's just a big fucking nerd. What do we do to nerds? What do we do to nerds guys?

We smash them. We smash nerds. I thought he was going to flip out at the end on his wife. Well, you would hope so, right? I mean, yeah. Give us something. You know what? If you kill my daughter, we're going to have a problem.

That's what I'm saying. How fucking cool would have been, honestly, if he would have walked in, seeing the daughter dead, grabbed the mom and choked her ass. Yeah, that would have been great. That would have been a much better ending to the movie. They're fucking,

they're fucking looking for the doppelganger with fucking kitchen knives. Yeah. And she tells him to watch, what's his name, Matthias? Yeah. Right.

So they're chasing somebody wanting to kill them or whatever with knives and your first thought is to go lay your son in bed. Right. Better stay out of this one. That's the first place to go. Every time. Like Adam City's being actively cuckolded.

You know how your mother gets. We better stay out of this one. Well, that was probably this. She likes strange cock. She likes strange cock. Let it just go get it. Yo Hong was probably the smartest guy. Yeah.

That's true. He was probably the smartest guy in the movie because he recognized. He was like your daughter has fucking problems. Yeah. She needs to get the fuck out and you need to take your sheep to go. Seems like your wife. I'm going to wear my son. And he's wearing glasses. God damn it. Seems like your mom and sister might be on their mensies. You know what I mean? And see, and then there's another scene we get with the mom freaking out by bashing her face into the steering wheel.

Which was fucking great. Give me more of that. I want more of that. Yes. Yeah. But why did that happen? Like it played no part in the story. I don't understand what happened there. It didn't even tie together. Like she totally lost her mind for a second. And that's the problem. Because she was really good at that too. Like when she was screaming and staring at the daughter with the blood coming out of her nose, she's like, oh, she snapped.

Right next time when she's putting makeup on her forehead and doing another YouTube video, you're like, oh. And I loved how she comes back to her husband and she just kisses him with blood all over her face. Like there's nothing. And his fucking ass. good to have you home you're like oh shit all right

like oh yeah you've watched too many that's exactly the worst too many frozen movies at this point

now man that's the chef dog from Sesame Street you're a Muppets sorry the Muppets who and gutt and gotten gloating

do put the chicken in the basket do to do all right man my my score is going to down the more we talk about this.

So you're ready to move on? I suppose so. All right, Adam. So tell us what else is coming up on your podcast, brother. Come on. All right, man. Well, we got...

You got Tom Cruise. I know you got Tom Cruise. You got Tom Cruise on your podcast? Yes. Yeah, man. It was surprisingly very easy. So the next couple episodes, like I said, we got Carnival Souls and Action Point. It's awesome. I just need a tall chair.

Don't be so glib. Don't be so glib. And then we got Toy Story 4 and Brave. And then we're doing wet hot American summer and sleepaway camp. And then we're doing First Reformed and Assault on Precinct 13. Ah, okay. So Ethanahawk won't. because of that black phone movie that's coming out, which looks pretty good.

Makes sense. All right. Yeah, I know Thomas was a big fan of first reformed. Yeah, and I... I had legitimately just in the past six months to become an Ethan Hawk fan. I always hated that fucking guy. Really?

He's so pretentious, dude. If you watch him... No, dude. Come on, man. Oh, sure, he is. Oh, he's super pretentious. Of all the people that I was called... He was great in Exploers.

Dude That's been a year or two He's the only good thing in Moon Night In my opinion Okay Really fucking good in the Northman Really fucking good in the Northman Yeah

Fantastic Yeah And so it's just like Alright I guess I'm swinging his way a little bit So Yeah Give my chance

No dude I had I unjustly hate a lot of actors For no reason Like you know Like fuck Dennis Quaid And I have no idea Why?

Come on, man. I can not explain why. I fucking hate him. But you got to love Randy Quaid in his, like, a star killers theory. You heard about that? If that's what, if you want to love him for that, that's fine. I actually feel terrible. Yeah, he's a, he's a complete nut, dude.

He can't heard about this, right? Oh, yeah, for sure. The Hollywood star killers or the store whackers or whatever. Yeah, him and his wife moved to Canada because he was convinced there's some secret society that kills celebrities. Yeah. And he really believes it.

You got to see the documentary, Philip. Oh, wow. So he's like legitimately nuts. Absolutely. He's like suffering from like severe delusional paranoia. Yeah, you never seen a video clip of him? He met his wife wear the mask of, it was like the face of the studio head,

and he was like fucking her from behind. I did hear about that I don't know enough about Randy Quaid What the hell It's one of the reasons you probably Don't see him in movies now The shitter is full That's what I remember

All right Well as always We want to thank you guys for listening to another episode The Horror Returns We would love to hear your feedback and ideas You can reach us at the horror returns at gmail.com. Please find us at thehorrorreturns.com, our website, and follow all of our social links from there next week. It's the episode you've all been waiting for, a commentary of cannibal women in the avocado jungle of death.

Yes. Adam, have you seen that one? No. No, I can't say. have. All right. Well, next week. Okay.

Avocados are stupid. I know that. I'll have better than next week. I promise. Hey, Phil. Hey, hey, Phil, they're a superfood,

dickhead. You show them some respect. Yeah, those are nuts, right? Yeah. Like Randy Quaid. And pomegranate it. Yeah,

pomegranate. So, yeah, Phil promises to do the entire show in Bill Mar's voice. Right? Oh, that sounds like a bad idea, but I'll try. New rules.

New rules, so. New rule. All right, man. I'm going to work on that. Real quick, Lance. Yeah. We've got action coming out with Top Gun Maverick. Uh, T.H.R. Stream Fiends.

Uh, that one's going to be a very special episode. Uh, we did the, the movie, uh, Catch the Fair one. Uh, a movie that has a topic that I think. think is very important and I please everybody listen to the episode especially NES's thoughts on the subject and then

we got a wrestling returns coming out which I am after we get off here I'm going to go watch Hell on a Cell so we got that episode coming to I'll tell you. That's the fair one that's the MMA fighter right? I got to get on that fucking wrestling one. Yes

I fucking love wrestling. Lance should too. Yet is Kitt's the fair one about an MMA fighter? Callie Reyes. She is legit in real life a boxer. She's the first indigenous woman to become a world champion. And she co-wrote this movie. So she will punch your dick in half.

I mean, that I see it like clips of her. Like, holy shit. Right. Mm-hmm. And for her to, I'm not going to. to get into her movie. But for her to be, I believe this first time acting, she did a great job.

Oh, see, I haven't seen it yet, but that sounds, wow, good. Good, good for her. Very heavy subject matter, though, just letting you know. Well, yeah, I'm sure. But good for her, man. You know, that's the type of people you want to succeed, not fucking Dennis Quaid. Sounds like Ethan Hawks.

Yeah. Ethan Hawk. Yeah. Randy Quaid, guys. Nathan Hawks dropped a couple of numbers down. So now it's like Chavolta and Dennis Quaid are like the top two, you know. You don't like Dennis Quay's dog movies he does like every year? No, I'm good.

I'm totally good. Yep. All right. So Philip, until the Hollywood Star Wackers return? Ah, good night. It.