The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #319: Uncle Sam (1996) Commentary

Episode Date: July 4, 2022

Happy Independence Day from The Horror Returns! Pedro Nunez joins us from The Kayfabulous Lucha Bros. podcast, to get patriotic. We bring you a commentary for 1996's Uncle Sam, and we bring plenty of fireworks, BBQ, and more red white and blue outfits than you've seen in any movie...and stilts! Cool of the Week includes The Black Phone, The Outsider, Hannibal, The Walking Dead, and Watcher. The podcast spotlight shines on Destination 180°. Thanks for listening! The Horror Returns Website: https://thehorrorreturns.com THR Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thehorrorreturns THR Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thehorrorreturns/ Join THR Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1056143707851246 THR Twitter: https://twitter.com/horror_returns?s=21&t=XKcrrOBZ7mzjwJY0ZJWrGA THR Instagram: https://instagram.com/thehorrorreturns?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= SK8ER Nez Podcast Network https://www.podbean.com/pu/pbblog-p3n57-c4166 ESP Anchor Feed: https://anchor.fm/mac-nez E Society YouTube Channel https://youtube.com/channel/UCliC6x_a7p3kTV_0LC4S10A Music By: Steve Carleton Of The Geekz

Hi, this is Don Mancini. You're listening to The Horror Returns. Greetings, victims. For those of you delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify go, welcome. You have found the place where the horror returns. This podcast contains major plot spoilers and the foulest of language. Join us in celebrating the old and the new, the best, and the worst in horror. All right, welcome back, one and all to The Horror Returns. I am Lance, and with me as always are my co-host, Brian and Philip, Kevin may step in later.

I think hopefully he will, but it is what it is. And the real bonus tonight, though, as we've said before, our very first guest ever. And I guess technically, man, you're part of the show at this point, Pedro. Wouldn't you consider yourself a brother to the show? This is family right here, and I'm with family here on the 4th of July. That's right. Blast those fireworks together.

He has a permanent seat at the table. Yes. Let's go ahead and play baseball out there like the sand lot when they don't need any lights because fireworks give the lights for them, which was bullshit when I saw it when I was 12 and it's bullshit now. Well, look, Pedro, we've got Philip with us just a little bit, just a little history. He was in the Army. He actually rose to the ranks of a four-star general. he spent about 28 years in the service.

Wow. And he put, Philip, you were telling me you put marks in your helmet for everybody you killed. And he had to get a second helmet, right? Can I say something? Phil, you look amazing for serving that long in the military. I know, dude. I'm kind of a vampire. I put those little marks right next to the peace sign from a full metal jacket.

There you go, man. No, no, but I was not saying that it was bullshit because of the celebration. I'm saying because of those not-nosed punks needed lights. You can't use the fucking fireworks for life. As your light source. That's right. Well, Pedro, what's up with K Fabulous, man? Tell us all about.

I was in Vegas partying it up with the KLB crew. We went to see Double or Nothing, AEW, and we had a great time. We've been doing some shows. we did a 2002 retrospective show because 2002 was a very important year in wrestling. A lot of the first class of Ohio Valley wrestling, which had like Randy Orden, Batista, John Cena, Brock Lesnar, all these guys, they debuted in 2002, and they're the ones that kind of carried the company to this day for better or worse. I'll leave it at that. They're still there. So yeah, so we did that retrospective.

We've been doing some just weekly news updates. So yeah, it's a lot of fun. And we've been getting some good reviews. So we've been doing that. So if you're go to Apple podcast and type in K Fabulous Lucha Brothers, we should come out on there and check us out. Nice. Yeah, our wrestling returns show, we get a lot of listeners.

Guys, I've told a couple of people that I work with about it, and I'm sure they're checking it out now. So, wrestling's big. We'll be back. We're on a little hiatus right now. And then I got, I got WrestleMania coming here to my hometown next year.

So it's going to be a lot of people here. and we're going to have a good time. So, yeah, there's a lot of good stuff on the horizon. All right, long as we don't get a, like, big COVID-slash-monkeypox slash, you know, black death. Yes, all kinds of stuff, right? All right. Well, Pedro, you know how this works, man. We're doing a commentary, but we still hit Cool of the Week.

So you want to chime in first? You're technically our guest, even though you're a... full, a full-blood member. Yeah, well, I've been watching some stuff. I started way back, and I'm revisiting the Walking Dead again. Oh, nice. I'm not the only one. He's watching it from the good years. Yeah, no, I went all the way back. I started way back in January,

because I knew this show was about to end this year. So I wanted to just kind of ask, because, you know, for a long time, I know now it's kind of like, you know, it's become a parody of itself. There's memes about it. It's kind of, it's like the red-headed stepchild of the horror community, right? We don't talk about the Walking Dead anymore. But for a long time, it was something that, it was a cultural phenomenon. I mean, I was looking, I was doing some research and looking at some of those ratings.

These shows were doing like 13 million watchers a week. You know, now they're down to like two to three millions. Are you serious? They're still good. They fall off that much? Yeah. When Negan came in, everybody boled. Yeah.

That's essentially what happened. Oh, man. And, you know, as I'm watching this show, I mean, it goes, it's a really fucking good show, especially like, like everybody says those early years, right? I mean, just the character development. It's not just this mindless show about zombies. It's so much about the people around it, right, and how they deal not only with the zombies, but also with the people around them, because I'll tell you what, like, if this shit

happened in real life, like, we would go, like, into Lord of the Flies territory, like, fast, right? I mean, people would be getting killed and eating by other people and looting all over the place. So just seeing all that stuff just kind of puts it in perspective. And so I've been doing that. I'm about to start season nine. I just finished season eight. So I'm about to go to season nine. And then hopefully by the time I watch that, you know, they're going to drop the last half of the final season, which I think there's only like eight episodes left.

And so I've been doing that as well. So yeah, so definitely. So for the people that have only heard of the myth of the walking dead, for the younger folk. Go ahead and check it out because I think in a few years people are going to change their minds about that show. I've also got to see another movie called

Terror on the Prairie. Have you guys seen this movie with the recently canceled Gina Carrano? It's like an old Western. Yeah, I've seen the trailer. Yeah, it's pretty good. Yeah, it's pretty good. It's kind of like a home invasion movie in a way.

She kind of takes, you know, she's got a protect her and her son. So it's a good time. I definitely recommend it. Does she use MMA to protect her son? No. She does. Okay. And that would have been, you know, in the Wild West, that would have been the sight to see. So then I also saw, I've seen crimes of the future. That was a decent movie. I enjoyed it. It was, it wasn't too bad. I started it. It's not because I wasn't enjoying it. It was just that it was like one in the morning and for me that's like three hours. Save your thoughts, Lance. Okay, I'll save my thoughts.

Yeah, and that's not the kind of movie you want to throw on at one in the morning when you're sleepy because it's not going to work out. Exactly. And then I also got the chance to go to the other new Beverly Cinema and played a odd Chucky Marathon. So I got to see all the child's play movies. Fucking amazing, yeah. They played one through, not the direct-to-video ones. Okay. They stopped at a seat of Chucky. Yeah. So that was fun too. I know the writer was going to be there, but I guess he's working on the second season,

so he couldn't be there. And the new Beverly, I mean, it attracts all the cinephiles from L.A., right? All the horror fanatics are there, cosplayers. There was a Chucky doll running around for some reason in the Iowa during the movies. It's just a good time.

It's a good time of the movie, so I got to do that. But the best movie that I've seen over the last couple of weeks is the Black Phone. And I don't have... Ah, I've heard of that movie. Yes. I'm not going to get into it too much because if you want to hear other people, shit, I can say, I was going to say oral sex it.

And go somewhere else because they're not. We're not on YouTube. We're trying to take ourselves for 10 minutes here. I'll just say that I thought it was very original. I thought it was, there's a couple of scenes. And again, no spoilers, that kind of almost. There's one scene in particular where I did get a little upset where I was like, That is not plausible, but I went with it because they had already grabbed me.

Okay. But I loved it. I loved it. I think it's my number one movie of the year. Possibly that would... Wow. Wow. You and a lot of other people, too, man.

Between that one and X, I haven't really decided yet. I have to watch X over again. Yeah, all the guys on horror news radio just fucking loved it. They all gave it five out of five. Yes, I also give it five out of five. Yeah. That's awesome. I sure wish I can.

I'm going to re-watch it before the years over. That I promise you. Maybe it was just a bad theater experience. I don't know. I was out of town, out of my element. Or maybe it is you, Lance. Maybe you have to re-valuate your situation. We have the Spider-Man phenomenon.

We have the old phenomenon. I haven't forgotten that you loved old for whatever reason, okay? Okay, so let's take it all the way back over there. Oh, yeah. Old was not a masterpiece, but I had fun with it. I did have fun with it. Yeah, so anyways, that was possibly my number one movie of the year. Depends how the second half goes. Yeah, a lot of stuff still come out, though, right?

Oh, definitely. We have a lot of stuff still on the back end. And that's pretty much it. You know, I saw other bullshit, but not, you know, not particularly. to this show. So I've had a lot of fun watch catching up on movies. That's a good, that's a good week, man. It sounds like you've had a good week. Yep, definitely. Well, speaking of the Walking Dead, I'm worried about the next pandemic.

I watched the stand. Oh, okay. You mean the Paramount Plus one or the... Yeah, Paramount Plus one, the series. Okay. It was pretty good. I felt like it probably should have been better with the amount of talent that I had. Right.

Yeah. Still, a pretty damn solid show. I like it. I was impressed. I'm kind of disappointed. They left it a little open-ended. And I think they were supposed to have a second season, and now they're not going to. Understand?

How the fuck are they going to do a second season of the stage? I don't know. I think there was supposed to be a second season, and they canceled it. Okay. I think it's not so much open-ended as much as you can't kill that demon. So it's just the demon is going to go on to the next, whatever. I guess in Stephen King's novels, that demon pops up in different forms throughout the entire, you know. So I guess it was that, you know, but I just, like you said, I mean, I don't know, it should have been better than it was.

But I think the editing was kind of shady a little because I feel like that whole going, they had the whole timeline thing, right? Where they were going back and forth different timelines. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that took a lot of people off. It took about the first three or four episodes to really catch on to it. Yeah. I think I was just so happy to see another version of my favorite novel of all time, you know? Right, right. And then also, like, Randall Flagg, like, he's hardly even in it. He's probably, the last two episodes, he's not, it's really where he takes, you know, front and center. But he, and for an actor like that, you know, what is it, like Alexander Skars God, you know, he needed to be in it a little more. Because, because actually, a lot of the marketing was around him. I don't know if you guys remember. So much of the. marketing was around him.

And, you know, for him to just be in, it's just, you know, that's like an eight-hour miniseries, and he's probably in it for like an hour tops, you know. Yeah, I would agree. But he definitely played the character a lot better than, because, you know, in the Dark Tower movie, that Abomination, yes. Matthew McCona, his character was basically the same, you know, Randall Flag. He goes by different names, Pedro. Right.

So, even just, I'll take one hour of Scarborough. Garzegard over 17 hours of McConaughey acting the way he did in that fucking horrible movie. Which sucks because it seems like McConaughey would kill that character. You would hope. You would hope. Yeah. And then I also staying with the Stephen King thing and what started me on this little journey, I watched The Outsider. Ah, okay.

a kick-ass show. It's a great book, man. It's, um, Hedra, you check that one out? That's a, uh, Jason, Jason Bateman produced thing. Is it? Yeah. I guess that makes sense. He is nailing it, dude.

Brian, you saw it, right? The outsider? I have not finished it. I was going to finish it. I know it was super popular and then it got canceled. And it took everybody by surprise. Well, then Stephen King's, I guess short or novella collection that he did last year

there's a sequel already in it with a couple of the same characters yeah I know the whoever has the rights to it the show they're they're shopping it to other okay so it might not be done yet okay see I wasn't mad that that one was done because they cleaned it up all nice and neat and and that was the end of the story and I wish they would do more TV shows like that like little one season.

I guess it's basically a miniseries, but I kind of like that better than one long fucking movie. No doubt. I question I question whoever runs HBO sometimes, because they canceled that and they canceled

I can't think of the show. It was based off a book. They had the guy that was the villain in Loki. Spoilers. Oh, yeah. Lovecraft country. Lovecraft, there you go.

Super popular show. Cancelled after one season. Outsiders. Right. Popular show canceled after one season. They're notorious for that. Well, and they're keeping fucking Westworld going, and I tapped out like halfway through the second season on that way.

Yeah. And I tried to watch the third, but it... I've heard nobody talk about the new season. Way over my head. Yeah, it got... That first season was pretty amazing, but then it got crazy. Yeah. First season was good.

But, dude, the outsider. Wow. All right. So that's your cool in the week? I was super impressed with that one. Yeah, it was like a supernatural crime drama. Yep. Holly, I love.

Holly Gibney shows up, too, from the Mr. Mercedes books. Oh, yeah. She was bad ass in that show. I love a character that got to play her. As per Stephen King's modus operandum. die, he'll have the same characters show up across all of his books, whether they have the same

name or it's just the same character. I love the way he does that. A lot of good versus evil analogies in his stuff. Sure, sure. It was cool. I was very impressed. Okay, well, my cool of the week,

I'll knock it out because Brian's probably got a laundry list of Amity Bill movies, so going through the something I never this was a blind spot for me Brian you and I have some plans to do something with it soon

I think but Beat and Marcy told me about this show Hannibal the TV show and I never yeah I never thought that I would start enjoying a different actor playing Hannibal Lecter but God damn it

he's given Hopkins a run for his money now I'm a little mads Yeah Mads is fucking amazing and he's every single show there's a line he says that I write down because it's so fucking deep and he has a lot to say so yeah

definitely uh my cool of the week is is going finally going through the TV show Hannibal and and hoping that they find a way to bring it back you know by the time I I finished rewatching or for the first time watching seasons one through three Lance just don't uh don't turn so accountable on us now because you know this guy's kind of hitting you where it counts here too late writing shit down and too late is that a grinder i see behind

in your that is that is back yes correct it is and a waffle maker so okay do with that what you will all right brian hit us man uh no amniville this week uh i only got two things uh one thing i'm not gonna get on my soapbox and call people out, but I didn't think the movie was garbage or a piece of shit or all this other stuff. It was a revealer on

Shutter. It wasn't that. I didn't hate it. I didn't hate it either. Yeah. I know we got some comments on it and people were like, oh, it's a piece of shit. And then I was just about to watch it. And then when I watched it, I was like, it's not that bad. I mean, not the best thing I've seen. I dug

the 80s retro feel to it, the colors. One character I'd like throughout the movie, the other one grew on me by the end. Yes. That end scene during the credits, I kind of wanted to see what was up

with all that, and I found out they're doing like a continuation comic book on it. Oh, nice. All right, cool. I'm like you, man. I kind of enjoyed it. So it's not top or bottom 10, but it's probably like in my top half, you know? You know, sometimes when I see these kind of movies,

like I think about the heart that's into these movies, right? I think about the people that are making them and how much they want to make these movies, because a movie like that one, you could tell like they had like no resources, right? It's just two people, it's like one or two locations. It's actually one location, but they kind of move around. And so to me, I'm thinking, okay,

because, you know, me having like a filmmaker background, I'm more like, these people really love movies to get off their asses and make this movie, right? And so I kind of look into that as well. And not to say, like, I'm not going to stay here and say that there's no bad movies or that. There's no piece of shit movies because there is. But there's other variables that I take into play whenever I'm judging that, right? Because it's like these people, that's probably their labor of love and they did it. So that's good.

Yeah. Yeah. Like me personally, if I see like a big blockbuster and an independent movie within the same week, I'm not going to critique them in the same way, you know, those different levels. And Pedro, I like that you brought up that, you know, they are fans of film because they're definitely fans of horror films because there was references throughout the movie. Yeah. And you could tell that that came from the writers and whoever directed it. I've had his name, but I don't have it now.

But, yeah, I thought it was a decent movie. You know, I was at the end of the day, you know, I just want to be entertained and I was entertained. I didn't come out of this thing and this movie's a piece of shit as I'm you know social media is an evil evil place and yes

we can't we can't think we could all agree on that's true my second movie I watched I'm going to reach out to him actually guys and see if we can get an interview yeah

yeah that'd be fun I think it's yeah these independent filmmakers like you said, putting a lot more love into it, you know? And my second movie I watched, I checked out. It came out, I believe, a couple months ago in theaters, and then it just got a VOD released a couple weeks ago,

and that was Watcher. Oh, I really wanted to see that when it was in the theater. I missed it. Okay. I know we got to get to a commentary, so I'm going to keep this short. Okay. Well acted, well directed, it looked good, but the scenario, the whole synopsis of the whole movie was nothing we haven't seen before.

Oh, man, okay. She thinks somebody stalking her. Sure. And they make you think, is it real or is it not real? Okay, well. But I will say, let's see if I fuck up her name again. She's not. Micah Monroe from the follows.

And the guest, yeah. Yeah, then the guest. She was good in it. I always think she's, you know, she always. She always brings it in most stuff she does, not the Independence Day sequel. That's a whole other conversation. She's a horror fan. She's good.

I like the whole setting, the fish out of water scenario of her being in a different country because I think it's her husband, her boyfriend, her boyfriend gets a job. I think he's from, I think they're in Hungary or somewhere. But essentially he gets a job. He goes back to work there. she leaves everything to come back with him. So you got that whole, she doesn't speak the language and she doesn't know her way around. And then you introduce this aspect that she thinks somebody's looking at her from the building across the street.

And then you add into this story that somebody's been murdering women recently. And she's like, okay, this is happening. This guy is watching me? Yeah. So they go into the whole, like, is he really watching? her, is he not watching her? Like I said, it's a decent movie. Well done.

Well acted. It's just, I've seen this done many times before, so. It's like the 100th copy of like rear window. We've seen this a dollar. There you go. Perfect. But I think it's still worth a watch, but if you come out

of the, you know, like feeling like you've seen this before, you know. It's because you may have. Gotcha. So is that your cool of the week? Yeah, I'll go. I'll go to watcher. There was a whole list of things that came out that I'm trying to get to,

but I got a new work schedule and I'm not used to working super early in the morning, usually a night worker, so I'm trying to adjust to this new schedule. Yeah, it takes some adjustment, that's for sure. But I will hit you with a whole bunch of, I got a whole bunch of stuff lined up to watch, so. next week. We can't wait. Amityville.

Amityville is coming back. We can wait. It's coming back. Okay. That's when Fonzie shows up. Oh, Jesus Christ, man. Mark for Morg. All right.

So I think we're skipping news and trailers, but, Philip, do we have a shout-out? We do. We have a podcast spotlight today. It shines on Destination 180. The Horror Movie Podcasts taking you on a ride. Link up at the park with Horror Honey, AJ, and newcomer to the genre, John? John?

Yeah, okay. Jay O'NeNe, I'm sorry. Yeah, correct as if we're not right on that, guys. As they explore different themes, play games, expose themselves. Oh, okay, wait a minute. Where is this one again? Wait a minute. My wife is named AJ.

I know. Oh, shit. I think I just put two and two together. Does she go by the horror, honey? Did you know this? I, you know what, man? I need to start doing, I need to hire a private investigator. Pedro, can you get on that? I know you stalk a lot of people, right? No, Danny Lewis talks a lot of people. That's right. We'll get Denny on it. So apparently they expose themselves while discussing horror movies, scene by scenes. It's like a fun-ting-church poker.

That's nice. I like that. That's a great original idea. So Destination 180, guys, check that out. All right. It's his wife. All right. And feedback will return next week.

But our intro comes from Steve Carlton of the Geeks. our artwork comes from Natsulani and please consider becoming a Patreon patron we'll let you pick the movies for a future show at any amount and for $5 more a month also pick a commentary for a future bonus show and if you have a chance

please give us a five-star Apple podcast review and I know we sent out our last steel book but we should have some more cool prizes to come very nice all right on to featured attraction singular. To celebrate

the 4th of July, we're going to bring you a commentary for Uncle Sam, which I've never seen. We'll rectify that, won't we, Pedro? Yes, we will. He's already here. He's got no choice. Fuck you guys. I always have a choice. I'm out. Uncle Sam from

1996, Desert Storm vet, who was killed in combat. Rises Philip. I went to a desert That's what happened. Oh, no, no, that's how you got to serve for 28 years in the year. Okay.

Rises from the grave on July 4th. To kill the unpatriotic citizens of his hometown after some teens burn an American flag over his bureau. Oh, boy. Oh, man. We're going to have to reel this one in, guys. Well, this whole movie's going to set some people off. It's going to be interesting.

Yeah. And I'm very happy it's from Desert Storm because I feel like they're very underrepresented in the horror genre. You usually get World War II or Vietnam. It's like, come on, that's a storm. Well, and it sucks. None of those guys got combat patches because it wasn't an actual war. Ah, that's not there.

Yeah, the combat patch thing was like a, you knew that a bunch of young guys had combat patches when I was in. Right. See, we're getting the insider information from. somebody who served the military. That we are. That we are. 28 years. All right. Director William Lustig, that's not true.

Also known for Maniac Cop and Hot Honey. Uh-oh. Hot Honey. Is that my wife, A.J. That's what she got the name. Ryder is Larry Cohen, also known for Q, the winged serpent. and it's alive. Oh, nice. It's a couple of

masters of their craft, Fedra. Yeah, well, both of you guys teamed up. I mean, the aforementioned Mania Cop 1 and 2. Three was a big mess, but 1 and 2 was definitely the team of Lusting and Cohen. So, yeah. They were brothers in arms for many, many years. Yeah, and they pulled it off. Shortly after the film was released on video in the United States,

states a apix entertainment wanted to green light and Uncle Sam too but the

plans fell through. Oh, man. Madison Leora only agreed to do her

brief nude scene so watch it with this guys. If she got to keep one of the Uncle

Sam masks after the film's production was finished. Wow. Fair enough, right?

The cast includes two Oscar nominees, Robert Forster, and Isaac Hayes. Oh, okay. It'd be great. Only Hayes won the award. All right. So we're going to watch it on Amazon because it is uninterrupted. Yes. But it's also available on 2B for free if you guys would like to follow along and skip through some commercials.

All right. And as always, I'll play. the I'll play the audio so you guys let me know if it's too too loud or too quiet and Let's see let me start at let me actually start at zero for once Why does it keep going to ten seconds? All right. There we go. I'm at one second. We can make that work right Cool me too All right, you guys ready? Yeah, yep, yes. Okay, three two, one

Everybody's got the gable production. Right. All right. No fancies mancy big logo for this one. Just right into it. Boring all the white over black. Oh, man. I hope my volume's working. I don't hear any yet. Ah, there we go. Car pulling up.

Okay. Oh, Kuwait. I'm going to have questions for Philip throughout this commentary because that man's mustache, those handlebars that we saw coming down in the jeep right is that a military approved uh no you can have it can't go past the edges of your lips oh well what about the what about the character in uh captain america there's the bowler hat come well maybe the they were different back then no they definitely

make it cut that i think you put the pull-ups off of this guy's uh mustache man, look at that. Right. Can you guys hear it okay? Yeah. Somebody smoked a lot of cigarettes. I know. Can you hide him?

Oh, look at that. What did the special effects for this movie? Oh, man, we need to look that up, but I can't because I've got my cell phone going for the sign. I don't want it more. He has had a couple of cigarettes in his lifetime, you know, said, huh? A very 90s inspired flashlight there. Is that way? That thing.

Right? Shit, did you see that? Oh, no. Zombies. He hit both of them with what shots. I don't think the angle makes sense, but I'm not going to question those things. He said it's only friendly fire. And he went back to sleep.

Right. Jesus. By the way, that guy is. That guy's name is only Major. That's his name throughout the entire movie. Major. There goes old handlebar mustache. Right.

Here's good. There's some fireworks. America. This reminds me of Lex Luger's push from 1993 in the Lex Express. Oh, wow. Brought me back for that one. Is that before or after he was the narcissist? That was after.

Okay. But he was always the narcissist, the guy I'm talking about. Oh, okay. What are those puppies in PPS? I want to hear about those pumpkins. Remember Pearl Harbor. And Isaac Hayes is Jed. All right.

As Jed. Right. Is that the Ku Klux Klan? Did you see that? Yes. I think it was. It was. Isaac is a ship, right?

Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Where's Captain America? Frozen. He's right there on the long way. He got me on that one, Brian. Good old Uncle Sam, huh?

Now, did this country ever have the same guy be Uncle Sam? Or was it like Ronald McDonald where he's like different guys doing the character? Because they all look the same to me, but it just Arnold Sanders. I don't know that Uncle Sam was a real person. and I think it was just a poster to drum up support for the war. Yes, that's right. Let's see here.

Are we in Haddonfield or? Looks like it. Twin Rivers, USA. USA. USA. Twin Rivers anywhere, USA. Oh, man. July 1st. Springfield.

Yeah, this does have a Halloween feel to it. Yeah. So was this filmed in L.A. then? Pedro, you think? Probably Pasadena up the street, my house, like every other movie that's supposed to represent Western life. When in a regular neighborhood. Look at this kid has all the toys. Yeah.

He doesn't have that little guy that had the parachute, though, that the ice cream truck man used to sell back in the day. Oh, you throw him in the air? Yeah, you throw them in the air. I love us, man. They weren't the grab bags. Remember the old grab bags? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

But that styrofoam plane that you build, there was two pieces. You just connect them and you have a plane. Right? And they ever didn't, they had one with a rubber band on it, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. You should. And the plane would go flat.

Uh-oh. Well, that's going to get infected. That looks really, like, dangerous. Yeah, it does. It's not just like one piece of glass. It's like a whole walkway. It's like Dee Wallace. little bit.

What is that? I got hurt. He's getting blood all over all over her carpet and the floor. He doesn't even know to put on a fucking band-aid. Jesus Christ. I was not freaking out about it. I don't think he'd survive Desert Storm. What do you guys

think? He wasn't dead. He'd be marching enough with the July parade. He'd have trench foot. the first day, like you're waiting through the water. Kicking up, blood puddles. This lady has like multi-purpose pajamas on. She could, like, go to sleep on them and then I also go to work at the library in it, too. There's no way I could stretch my entire body in that bed.

No way. No? It wouldn't work, huh? Like a little house on the prairie bed. Right. Like a chucky accessory. I didn't mean to bother you. seemed a little flirty with his mom there didn't he? Nah, we're going there already.

She's trying to do some foot fetish with him, so. Oh, she's in deep thought now. Oh, boy. This is actually filmed really well. Yeah. You know, it looks like a Spielberg. It has a Spielberg look to it. Well, it's William Lusting.

I mean, he's always going to give you good work, you know? Sure. See, this is another one. I remember Walken Pass and like Blockbuster and like liking the cover because it was pretty pretty deep. Right. But never bothered to pick it up. I thought this was a young George Clooney for a second. And that guy does pop out in the weirdest like random obscure B movies.

So I wouldn't be surprised if it is. The Killer Tomatoes movie, Grisley. Oh, that's right. That's right. You're supposed to be on TV. I guess E.R. was his big breakout role, right? Oh, it was Roseanne.

Ah, okay. Okay. He was what, Roseanne? Yeah, the five episodes he was in. He had a story art. That kiss. Can I at least get a good night blow job? He looks pissed.

He's going to go home and whack it. He got to watch Beavis and butt. He's got to get an Uncle Sam blowup, Bill. Oh, yeah, that was my other kind of cool of the week. I finally, I did check out Beavis and Butthead, guys. You went to the multiverse, huh? Yeah, it was as good as, as y'all said. Uh-oh.

That's never good news. It's now for three years. Legendary Bull Hopkins. Wait, her husband's name is Sam? Yeah, I think so. That's what it sounded like. I wonder who's a little bit. going to be Uncle Sam.

She calls him Uncle Sam because she's got childhood trauma. I was like one of those porn angles or storylines. Now there's a place for him that's his mother he lives. Stay on.

This motel if you need any assistance on my part. That's that a creepy too, huh? I'm staying here at this motel. You need anything at all. I mean, fuck, your husband's been in the ground for three years.

Shit. So that cop trying to pick up on her. This guy's trying to pick up on her. Sure. Go ahead, Lance. No, is she the one who's going to do the nude scene, Brian? I have not seen this.

Okay. Don't ruin it for me. What were you going to say, Brian? Didn't Bob Hopkins? Didn't he die recently? Yes. Yes, he did. Everybody in this movie's dead, huh?

Not Bill Lusty. He's still around. Yeah, all right, all right. He actually, he created Blue Underground, which is like a huge, like, Blu-ray distributor. And so a lot of these movies have been finding new life on Blu-ray and 4K over the last three, four years.

Including this one that just recently came out in 4K. Oh, nice. Okay. Bo Hawkins died in May 28th this year. Oh, wow. Oh, okay. He's also freshly in the grave like Uncle Sam. Yeah.

In this movie. He may be back. What is that a pair of brass balls? Some real balls, if you ever need him. Love Sam. So with that Iron Cross. What's going on here? There he is.

Yep. Sergeant Jed, they didn't give him no respect. the credits. I don't think that beard's also not military approved, but I don't think that. They didn't have enough zeros on those paychecks to make him shave it. I'll tell you that right now. He's got a, God damn it, I can't remember what they're called. You can get like a shaving exemption.

Oh, yeah? Can you? For real? Yeah, it's, you can't let it. You can't grow a beard like that, but yeah. well i mean it's not a like big thick bushy beard well plus obviously he's ex-military trying to fit back in his uh okay

all right so the rules don't apply uh he must kid must be drawing his own comic books huh kids today would be like what the fuck is this kid doing like they can't relate to any of this shit now i know using imagination reading what what's that What? You're not in front of a gadget?

What's his electrical device? Yeah, no kidding, man. You just had a giant conversation about that today. You can't leave the video games alone for 10 seconds. Oh, man, what a shame, huh? I can't get my grandkids to read for anything. I bought them all, all kinds of books, and they just sit on the shelf. He's supposed to read, buying books online.

Ah, okay. All right. Well, maybe I'll try that. It better make a video out of it. He's going to tell me that he was still alive. I thought about that so many times about him coming in the house, walking through the door, and all starting all over again. Why can we have to send a telegram?

They're arranging for the body. That military career of that Sam had paid pretty well. Look at the size of that house. It's going to react to all this. I thought I almost forgotten the way he made me feel. The fear when I knew he was in the house. Maybe I can still tell them not to send the remains back. Louise, if you don't do the right thing, people won't stop talking about it.

These two women look identical. I'm going to have a hard time. I know. I was just thinking that. I'm like, now I'm kind of confused. Wait, who's, that one's son got his foot. The woman's pants on. Yes.

Yeah, the one with the blonde hair is his mom. Oh, oh, okay. I can't know, hearing that Uncle Sam has died. So that's why it's called Uncle Sam, because it's in relation to him, I see now. Because I guess that's his uncle, right? I think. Oh, that makes sense. They're sisters.

Okay. Crandall? Yes, Jody. Something happened at her house. I was such a kid. You're that kid's teeth right next to him. Sam Harper. Got some chicklets.

No, he was a student in my class. How the guy did killed? He was gun and an entrepreneur and got shut down. But. At least they're real kids. They're not like 30-year-olds playing kids. Like you would

during this time. Why would we shoot her on helicopter down? 12. It's called friendly fire. You know, that stand. Mistakes are made in combat. It's always a tragic situation.

Mr. Crandall ever been in combat? What's that? What's that? Is this teacher? you ever been in combat? Probably, right? He's doing a good job of showing us how much he hates his job, though. I'll give him that much.

He's not enjoying it. He was miserable from scene one when he turned around. Was he? Man, I used to have a GI Joe that was in a box like that, and it came with, like, rifles and, like, a backpack and a canteen and all kinds of stuff. That's when the G.S. And an AMPL? G.I. Joe's were like this tall back.

then it wasn't like the ones that came back out in the 90s or whatever it came in like an ammo can yeah and it was these things are worth a shitload of money now you can look it up online it's like the G.I. Joe's from the from the 70s yeah if you if you like have everything with it is lots of money like myself protested you used to have some of my dad laying around think you could find them I don't know I'll have asking him. They smile. It's worth some bank, man. I feel like this teacher goes home and he's got like a dog and like a bottle of jack every night just waiting for him. He just sits there in the couch and ponders what happened.

Good, I have to smile one time. Oh, man. So it's like you said, he clearly hates his job. Yeah. And he looks so irritated. He goes, please, just take your seat. He did. Actually, I don't think he mind that he interrupted them to do Sean Tell. That's good idea. Let's make the rest of a class like that. Look at the flag in the back. One of the kids fucked it up. Look at where the stars are at. They're all over the place.

Oh, I see that. I see that. But we don't want to fuck the kids off his team, so we'll display it. It's no problem. Right, right? Because he knows better. So this was in the 90s. Did everybody get a trophy back then just for participating? No, not yet. That's sort of later, right? That was way later.

It's like when my son was playing football, he's 20 now, but when he was playing football, like at 11, 12, 11, that's when they started giving out participation. Philip, do you do that on your baseball team that you coach? No, like actually the only, okay, my son did get a trophy in T-ball. Okay. But that I can kind of understand, you know. technically we weren't even keeping score, which we were. Right. But no, they did win a little tournament championship last year.

And so he got a little like Super Bowl looking ring. It's pretty cool. Oh, shit, a ring. It's plastic. There you go back with that creepy uncle concept again. This is all right. my uncle is it all right if i touch you why would they roll the entire coffin and everything into the living room of the house i don't know like a lot of more work than didn't they used to do that though

like back of the day drop it off in your living room i mean the kid just walked in from school from that depressed as teacher and there's like a coffin they're just just waiting for them well she said she wanted the remains with the flag well there you go no i think she said she didn't want him because I think Uncle Sam used to be like an abuser or something like that. They just brought to the names anyways. With that accent, he reminds me a little bit of Ricky Morgan from a lot of our other podcasts we like to listen to. And yeah, I tried to meet up with Ricky when AJ and I went to Nashville last year,

but he was working in Kentucky. So it's like I went the exact wrong week to actually be able to meet him, which kind of sucked. Man, she looks like about a million other people. I know, I know. And then he is super creepy. Look at him. You know he wants that.

Kind of like that the girl from Adventures in Babysitting and... Oh, yeah. The wife from a mother family. Yeah, that's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. The kid was to go see Uncle Sam firsthand.

He's trying to open up that coffin. Right. Does he try to open it up? for creepy little kid and then he got madly ran to his room must to see his uncle I guess is this how he's laid out

I might think I'm a little ahead of you guys yeah just barely though Uncle Sam's all fucked up look at him yeah that's messed up get him out of my living room I guess he was burnt alive definitely not having an old succession listen he's talking to make it a piece of that action

i mean it's not married no more look at that lighting trying to make a little cinematic for us yeah i like you i appreciate that no it's it's a well-filled movie there's no doubt this movie had a two million dollar budget well you know what you don't see movies like that anymore either they're like they have no budget or they have a hundred million dollar budget. Nothing in the middle anymore like this.

I wonder if you were to tell like a 10-year-old now to turn on that TV, you say, kid, I'll give you $100 if you find a way to turn that TV on. I wonder if they don't know how to do it. Oh, God. Alexa, turn the TV on. That would be his first try. Alexa. What's going on?

Oh, man. There's no color. Yeah, right? That kid would be like, that's not a TV. What is that big bulky thing? My mom still got the base of like one of those gigantic piece of furniture TVs that used to sit on the guy. It still kind of comes on, but it's just a tiny little circle in the middle. Gotcha.

Well, no, this isn't the same chick, right? This isn't the kids' mom. This is the other blonde that looks just like her. He looks just like every other blonde, right? I think so. Okay. Are they... I want to say one has longer hair.

Yeah. Okay. But then one always has their hair pulled up, so you can't really tell. Can't really tell for sure. They're not worried about the mortgage. How are they going to pay for this house? Now that Uncle Sam is dead. None of that.

Right, right? Well, they'll get that sweet... Don't they get a check after you get a military, Philip? From Uncle Sam. Right? Uncle Sam by Uncle Sam, there you go. Uncle Sam. Can you just make a plate and take him upstairs?

No, you cannot. I'm sitting out. And eat your dinner. That kid's haircut is probably about $60 a pop in 96 money. Just to trim all that. It's great. His hair is starting to bother me, actually. Oh, yeah.

Is that a wig? Like the hair has too many bristles for like... Yeah, that's weird. Look at that. That's not real hair. What the fuck is this guy? Maybe the kid got double booked, and then the other movie had to have different kind of hair. Right.

Ball. Maybe he was doing one of those carnosaurus movies that were around back in this day, too. That's possible. Highly possible. Maybe his head's just weirdly shaped and he's doing the best he can to cover it up. Okay, well, now look, they're saying a lot about America, right? Because the way he's saying, ah, we just found legal ways to get around and not pay our taxes. And, you know, it's not theft.

It's the American way. So they're making some political statements here for sure. No, thanks. If anything is theft, is taxes in general. Just saying. What's that? If anything is theft, it's taxes in general. I'm just saying.

Yeah. And what did they do with all that money that they get from us when we pay taxes, guys? Because we know they just print new money to pay for shit, right? So where's all that money actually going? Show me. A lot of places. They're not your pocket. Not the roads I drive on.

I'll tell you that right now. No shit. I was thinking the same thing. Hey, Destro. There we go. They're like, this shit was fun when I was a kid, playing with the toys like that. Oh, yeah. I did that.

I had so many Star Wars action figures. I used to take little GI Joe's down to the creek. Right. We have like four games, like, unreal terrain. Yeah, I remember one time when I put my Darth Vader in the hot coals in the fireplace, acting out the scene where he became burnt. this whole house started to smell of like burnt plastic and my mom ran in there

what the hell are you doing? And she was pissed Does the helmet look like the helmet from Force Awakens? No, this was, well now it did, yeah. After I got done with it. But this was like one of the action figures probably around the time that Return of the Jedi came out. Sorry, Mom.

I see Uncle Sam. At the high ground. Is that a little safe he's got or what? It's the thing with the bullets. The Chantelle thing you took to the school. Gotcha. The thing that you said you had. Oh, look.

He's trying to open up. Oh, yeah, yeah. Because he had a little green metal box, right? Dude, those nails on Uncle Sam, they were already like that. I had nothing to do with him being off right. Look at how fucked up they are. Looks that way, doesn't it? He just didn't take care of him when he was alive either.

And that shirt looks awfully familiar. Does it? Yeah. Wow. The dinosaurs are. Yeah. It's going to leave it. Yeah, for some reason, back in the 80s and 90s, dinosaurs were really over with kids.

They're not like that anymore, but they used to be. Right, right. I used to love dinosaurs, man. We went to a dinosaur theme park. What? Well, not really a theme park. It's like up in North Texas, Oklahoma area. I can't remember where it is.

but there's like a bunch of like fossilized footprints and shit and they built up a little theme park type thing around it oh didn't they film a scene from peewee herman's big adventure there probably i think so you can like climb inside one of the dinosaur sculptures or something yeah he sat in there with the chick from the diner that she just wanted to go to paris france that's right i've been there a couple times and that's a cool place Sounds like fun There's Jad right there

Yep Overacting as always Right That fucking hair I can't unsee it now That she gets brought it up Oh damn Wait a minute

Wait a minute That sounds I don't like how that I think he meant the dead body Right Where is he taking him Uh oh He's strapped on

I think he's priming the kid He said wait I thought you were going to show me your purple heart. Not your purple heart. I never trust these little, like little slide. What are they? Like swing clothing things on the... Oh, yes.

I don't trust the physics of them. Hilled up by one bolt. Okay, it's a fake leg. That's what... It's a peg leg. That's what we go. He must have been a pirate before he was in the military. I allow the kid has to knock on it just to make sure not fake.

I said he's just cashing in a paycheck, I got a tower ready. I don't think they call it that, but... Yeah, they call it. Like what? Phantom? Yeah, Phantom Lake or something. Something like that. Close enough.

But all Sergeant Jet has been through it, so we can't fault him too much. Sure. I wonder if Bobbitt gets that. He made a porno, right? Did he do a porno with a sewed back on dick that they put a popsicle stick in it or something so stay hard? I don't know. Some Star Wars technology. Star Wars technology.

I don't know if I should be in the Army, Marines, or the Air Force. Go for the Space Force. The Navy got no love in that, though. I know. I was just thinking the same thing. At first, making a lot of statements in this movie. Hey, now we're back to World War II. Yeah, this is pretty cool.

Somebody's got to be soldiers. Somebody's got to kill. Philip, you just wrote a $40 billion check to Ukraine, didn't you? That's so did everybody else. There goes a gag order that we had to put ourselves under. Right? They've returned this political. Oh, we're way past 10 minutes.

We're good now. Well, the movie's doing it, so we're just going to play along to it. Sure. He was in Korea. Well, he was cutting promos on Mussolini right now, so I guess he was also in World War II. Sounds that way, doesn't it? He spent almost as much time with the military as Philip did. Isaac Hayes' last film role was in return to Sleepaway Camp.

That's sad. That is. That's kind of cool, man. Have you seen Return to Sleepaway Camp? No. I don't know how big the check was, but it wasn't that big. Wasn't much, huh? I think he's a chef in that one.

He got typecast. They suck on his chocolate, selfie bowls? Well, I mean, it was kids' camp, so. You know, he's actually got some wisdom here. He's actually telling the kid how it really is in the military, right, Philip? Yeah. He said, there are no heroes. He said, when the finding starts.

Well, there's, you know, that kind of person, though, you know, we're going to have our warriors in society, whether you like it or not. It's part of people, and we need those people, you know? Yeah. Hey, man, it's like the Dick, Dicks, Pussies, and Assholes, Speaks, Speaks, and Assholes, speech from. from Team America. You're always going to have a dick. Are you, no, what was it? Man, we got to find that speech.

It's kind of the same as the bull, the sheep dog, and the sheep. Okay. Right? But Dick's pussy's and assholes. I love it, dude. That speech is buried somewhere under your Hannibal notes, Lance. I think it is. Let me go see if I can go find it.

Entitled kid. In this country, you go right after them. No matter how big they are. People who don't respect the American way of life deserve to have their butts kit. Can you get an autograph from his uncle? Yeah, it looks so. He analyzes them.

Look, he even has that letter. Can't live by the American. The way you deserve to get your ass kick. That's what he said. It's our words to live by. He's so protective of that box and he doesn't buy a lock for it. I don't understand that. He's got all kinds of secrets in that fucking box.

Right. I mean, let's be honest. If this was real life, he'd have at least one Playboy magazine in there, right? It's under the mattress. Under the mattress, okay. Oh, is this July 4th already? Or at least a Sears catalog. or a national geographic

Why is he still in the house? It's been four days. Are they having a funeral there? Maybe it's like an urn. They just decided to keep the body just there forever. Like a never-ending vigil, huh? That's why I'm getting crazy. I'm not turning into it.

Uh-oh. Not good. Somebody's going to pay for that. Yeah. That was a... But here's a good difference between Nazis and the people you call Nazis.

Right, right. Here we go. These are 30-year-olds playing adolescents. Right, right. Oh. Right on Uncle Sam. You don't fuck with him. Right.

They're not living the American way, so guess what? You get their ass kicked. That's so fucking weird how he's like his caskets in the room but they've got his grape site open. And that's what's waking him up. Come on.

Really? He's actually woken up like three times already. He just takes naps. Like I don't know if they fucked up and I've seen him open his eyes like three times and nothing comes of him until right now. So he has to walk to the gravesite. now?

Yeah. This is a bad directing decision or writing decision, I think. They're that big as thermostat. Oh, man. Is that a thermostat? Jesus.

I don't have smartphones yet to tell how hot it is outside. With the murky bayon and everything. Can't even sleep weird. Look at Zan. What's he doing? He's coming for the G.I. Joe. He just knew where it was at, too.

He hasn't been there in months. He just went right to it. Right next to his skateboard. He just woke up from the dead. That's what you're worried about? Right. I just got to pin his medals back on. But not his metals back on. On the inside of the uniform. On his burned skin.

There's the difference between back then and now. What's that? The metals pinned on. you in the old days, that's what it would like. Ah, there you go. When men were man, huh? Well, when metals had pins, now they have Velcro. Do they?

On the BDUs, they have Velcro. So they just kind of punch it on you instead of stabbing the fuck out of it. Okay, gotcha. Live before participation trophies. I miss it sometimes. Yeah. He has, like, teenagers Akele?

What is he doing? He's going to try to rape him now. I like how Uncle Sam got burnt, but he still has a mullet. Like, how does that happen? And fingernails. And one really, really long pinky nail. Helps that uncle I'm stuck.

I'm stuck. Twin Rivers, the Twin Rivers, USA. USA. Could be Iowa, could be California, could be Texas. Those little flags took a lot of worse.

I could see it on. Oh, is this the nude scene? Come on. She got to keep one of the masks. Everything's been leading up to this, huh, Lance? Yes. That got labs going right there. Oh, man.

Look at this guy in the house. He's not really being sneaky about it, is he? No, he's not. In full costume. Yeah. If you were going to pick something, blend it. That's probably not it. Wait a minute.

He was a lot closer than that. No kidding. Well, that hairy kind of looks like Vince Neal a little bit. Out of context, this is like the creepiest thing somebody could ever see if they're just passing by. Right? Yeah. He's some stilts. That's why did that pop up there.

It's a big ass stilts, man. Yep. Oh, there you go. There you go. I was going to say what happens when he's got to run away. Christ. He's fucked. He got, he didn't get wood, he got more wood because of the stilts.

Where can he go and hide? I mean, look, this is no CGI right here. There's a dude actually doing this. That's pretty cool. Yeah, this is real. This ain't CGI. Uh-oh. I always wonder how those guys got down from that.

Like, how do you even begin? Oh. I guess there's a ladder somewhere. Can you imagine if the car hit his legs? Dude, he would have gone flying. I like how he's still in a rush and he's like far away from the house already. Right. Is this going to be the first victim?

Not the kids burning the flag? Well, if you're going to describe the perp, he was about 20 feet tall. Look, he's going to cut him down to size. Jason Voorhe says kind of shot right here. Right? Yeah, it's well filmed throughout. Some of the story, the story ideas aren't that great. And that's how you get down.

He's probably dead now. I don't know what Uncle Sam was going to do with those shears if he wouldn't have his head on that tree, but I guess we'll never find out. Was he just going to kind of just kick it there until he got tired or start clanking on those stilts? What was he going to do? I guess. And he's got to tease them too. That's a pretty maniac cop looking scene.

Right. Or the burning. I hope you got an eye full. Oh, so he's like Freddie Kruger in the later movies, where he's got a little funny saying for everything. So did he sew the outfit back on? It looks like it, right? Okay, this movie is not officially grounded anymore.

That's impossible. Is it? With those hedge clippers? Are you kidding me? Cut off the licks. Oh, these are the punk kids, huh? Here we go. They got to get their comeuppance now. And that grave that's been there for days, even though he's been in the living room the entire time.

Right? I thought that was Count O. Reeves for a minute. He's taking a leak. Spray paint They're not as where he got it from because that's not a concern Well, they were spray painting the tombstones, remember? That's right. Oh, that's right.

That's right. That's right. Okay. Spray painted to death. Mm-hmm. That's the first. I don't think I've ever seen that before. He barely has any spray paint on it.

I know. There's none of his eyes. Right. Oh, boy. That doesn't look good. I hate it when Jello spills out of my pocket. Right? That's what it looks like.

Getting all mid-sumar with this camera work here, going upside down. You got no money. You got to improv. When you only got two mills, you got to improvise. They're doing a good job. The music sounds a little mid-sumar. That's a big asshole for one person.

Maybe this film inspired Ari Oster to be a filmmaker. guys. You think if this came out today, this would be an A-24 film? No. His friends suck. Where'd they go? They're off burning another flag.

Well, no, he told him, y'all, y'all head out. I got to take a leap. Remember? Yeah. That's when Sam said. Ten seconds later, you started getting the shit beat out of him and screaming. There they go. They ain't going to get away with this shit. They are.

Yeah. I got you back from my gas sober. I'm gone. 35-year-olds. Right, 35-year-old douchebags, huh? With the same exact haircut. Yeah, exactly. Hey, I'm going to go audition for me to twirl later.

You want to come? They're talking about how the... Say, by the bow, the cottage years. You want to go? They're talking about how they get older, but these high school girls stay the same age. Like he has something up his ass or something. Like a twinkie and he's afraid to break the cream filling.

That is a well-film scene there, huh, with the fog and everything? Why somebody's backyard or something? Probably, yeah. Some Halloween decorations. Oh, he's going to raise the flagpole. Oh, there we go. It ain't no sleepaway camp too, but I'll take it. Right.

They're playing taps. Is he going to let him go and smash his head into the concrete Or is he going to do him up there? He should leave him up there, right? I don't think he's choked. Oh yeah, I guess there it goes. There we go. We even get the sound effect.

Yep. A little bit he had strength. So I guess he's got superhuman strength too when he came back Because it makes zero sense any other way. Why wouldn't he, right? Yeah. That's what happens when you come back from the dead, obviously. I'm not to reload on some distance.

Philip, you look like you're on the set of hosts. There's somebody about to creep up behind you. Is it the press teacher again? He says, remember, no waving at anybody? Stay in line. I thought it was a beer. I thought it was, too. What an asshole, huh?

You know this guy's got to die, right? I think he's looking forward. to it. I don't think he wants to be alive anymore. Yeah, right. The fact that his tie doesn't have a tip is bothering me. There's no tip on the tie? No, look.

It's just like flat all the way in. Uncle Sam sniffed it, huh? Where's that hatchet? Well, that's not foreshadowing anything, is it? Oh, there's Uncle Sam. Why is he at the school? There you go.

They got a cannon at the school? Come on. Yeah, he said real cannons. Real fire, real everything. What's going out of here? Is this an ACVC concert or what? Look at that. The nose about to rock. We salute you.

It's first the cannon and accidentally shoots one of the horses. What city is this Twin Peaks? Twin Falls. Twin Rivers, I think. Twin Rivers, yeah. Does it feel like they've already been celebrating Fourth of July, like days before? I think they have been. It feels like they're in a perpetual loop of Fourth of July. That's right.

Groundhog Day, Fourth of July. Are we sure that M-Ni-Ni-Samon on a Ling Dong didn't direct this shit, man? Are they going to run into traffic at the end? It doesn't be a regular city? He was a ghost. He was a ghost writer for it. Yeah, there's going to be a twist. It just seems like they've been stuck.

in this lifestyle for more than like three days. Well, for sure, yeah. Because it's supposed to be Fourth of July now, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why was the guy in his costume and stilts the night before? Because they're all trapped there. They're in purgatory.

Maybe it's like this year we're Fourth of July comes on a Monday. Look, there's, there's, there's some, man, this kid has it real bad. That guy's just like Clark Mcorrin. What the fuck? It's got nothing to do it

Fourth of July. Uh-uh. Is that Cynthia Rod Rock? It looks just like her, dude. He would be wearing something like that, too, before she kicked somebody's ass. That's poor kid. He's blind, he can't walk,

and he's got this. There's a walking country song over here. Look, and his dad is like a knockoff Vincent Enoprio. I got knock off everybody in this movie. Oh, man. That belt buckle is a statement itself, a political statement. Hey, PJ Souls. Oh, yeah.

Okay. I don't think so. That point is like a Chucky doll or something. Chances. Cheer them up. How much of the local economies tied up to this day, man? Look at that. That's what Brian was talking about.

He sunk all their money into this. It's a Fourth of July town. The whole town in a file for bankruptcy on July 5th. They do jump there slapping the base. Jesus Christ, the corrupt mayor every time. He's like, now we're going to pass around the hat and we're collecting money for all the veterans. Too small gas station straw hat Is this Spicoli?

He says, man, those guys are, oh, I can't say that. I almost got tweeted on Facebook for putting that on the binge media page. That little scene. Where's Simon Cowell when you need him, right? Oh, geez. Oh, he pissed off Uncle Sam. Uh-oh. Uncle Sam.

Yeah, he didn't approve of that. He was going to let him slip with that horrible rendition of, what was he singing? It's a star spangled banner. Yeah, he was going to let him slip with him. And then he just saw him moon the crowd. Like, can't let that one slide. Yeah, can't let that one slide. Let it slide from bad singing, but moon in the crowd.

Right. Out of go. He went too far. Look at this, because that's the spirit. He's all fucked up, but he's still patriotic. Look for him. Something tells me he's going to make it. Oh, shit.

Oh, maybe not. Well, maybe not. Maybe those glasses can make them see shit like they live or something. I don't know, man. That touch on the face is about 80% sexier than it should be. I like how there's adults around him and nobody's noticing this. He's over here fondling this blind crippled kid. Just to looting the flag.

Oh, man. And that's a nice smoker back there. The walk away from the boy was creepy, too. Right? Kind of walking away. I didn't do nothing wrong. Cotton candy. Oh, that's not for him.

I shut up, kid. You eat your popcorn. You get popcorn. We're eating the cotton candy, you little shit. And a giant fucking. steak? What the hell is that? Is that what it is? I don't know.

It is America, you know. He's going to go off and play the kingpin in a few years. He needs to beef up for that. Right, right. Oh, there's, oh, there's the man. Talking about collecting a paycheck. All right. Rest and peace.

Yep. All these guys all ended up in these kind of movies during this time, though. That's all the work they can get. And I believe he worked with him. with Larry Cohen and Vigilante, I want to say. Wouldn't surprise me. Well, I guarantee you they had bad fun on the set of this movie, right? There's no doubt.

You ought to be able to be bargaining that or listen to you. There you go. Lance, you get underwater moves. Yeah, there we go. Oh, yeah, that is, it's supposed to be Abraham Lincoln, right? I'll give you 50 bucks. Yeah. That's what Isaac thinks.

President UD. Abraham Lincoln. Francis former professional wrestler Abraham Lincoln, by the way. That's right. He was a professional. Also vampire hunter.

That's right. That's right. He did it all. Uh-oh. Big stare down. They got them Pennywise eyes. See, he's just a little shout shock, that's all.

It's not all right. He just had a stare down on a man with yellow eyes. But he's challenging his thoughts. Those are the demons from Korea and World War II. He had yellow eyes. Those bricks aren't cooked on that fire. Attitude right there.

Nasty ass hands. I was about to say no gloves. Palm and the meat. Well, that sounded weird, but holding the meat around. He's all stained now and shit and smoke break. Wheat break, it looks like, because it's all rolled up. there's George Clooney again where did you get the shit

from was that a pocket legal here in California now this is Reefer Fats Of course he did It's not done I would take a free burger at this kind of gathers I wouldn't trust the person

giving us There's too many pictures Damn, that was in a damnere sleeping bag almost. I was about to say, why is the sleep? Why is the bag so pulled up? Don't cover your arms, though. What happens to me? Did someone really get hurt?

Like that guy. Right. Yeah, that's how you win the race. That's how that one kid ended up in the wheelchair, right? He was the champion last year. Guy on the stretch, he was having too much fun. Well, he was having. Hey, you, watch out.

Hey, he's a little too old to me in that. There's a, that's a man right there. That's no kid. I was going to say, I'd be goddamned if I let some fucking 16-year-old pump knock me over. Right. He looks like he's really like 40. Now we're seeing what happened when you put the whole body in the sack. Look at that.

Oh. This is great. Seriously, that's, this is great stunt work right here. No shit. That's not CGI, Brian. That's not C. I got back up and get going. Yeah, but he needs to get out of the...

Why is he still in the sacto? Why is he still respecting the rules? Right. They must be in Florida. I've noticed there's oranges on the trees everywhere. That could be California, too, right, Pedro? It could be. You'll have a lot of citrus growing.

The story completely makes sense. We don't have no Twin Rivers, California. California. Oh, so you could teleport, too, now. Okay. Yeah, I saw that too. Oh. You didn't even swing the knife? I was going to say that was a clean cut, right?

I know how the sack tucked into his little stub right there, the leftover stub. Bottles down. Oh, it's a game. I thought it was. I thought it was where you'd get your alcoholic beverages. That's what I thought. That's what I thought. It was like a beer stand or something. Have you all noticed? Nobody's actually drinking alcohol

with this thing. It's either sodas or popsicles or candy. But there is the reefer though. Hi. I missed the reefer. George Clooney just confiscated it. Ah, okay.

He's got it in his pocket now. Yeah, I missed a minute there. I had to go get a beer. That's exactly what attracted anybody ever got in his way. She can definitely suck on that popsicle, can't she? That must be Uncle Sam.

You got like dead aim. It is Uncle Sam. Yeah, it's him. Oh, no. Y'all heard that, huh? Yeah, the way you shoot, you should get a job working at the post office. That's fucking terrible. That's a good joke.

God damn. Sometimes it's going to somehow put real bullets in that rifle later on. Yeah, kind of like Charles Play 3 at the military academy. Or Alex Baldwin's late smoothie. Oh, God. Oh, she was like. She knocked. She knocked down Abraham Lincoln. Yeah, but you guys shot in the back of the head, get it.

Right. Oh, I told you guys about that. Yeah, I think we, didn't we talk about this last week? I was telling you all about that sketch show, the whitest kids you know. Oh, yeah. Pedro, have you ever seen that or heard of that? The white as in white or white as in white? The whitest.

Like the whitest kids, you know. And they've got a, you can't click it up on YouTube, dude. It's about Abraham Lincoln's and John Wilkes booth. It's fucking hilarious. I'm not going to, I don't want to spoil it, but it's really funny. Very funny skit. He's supposed to be the president? Robert Forster's the president?

I'm asking. I'd buy like the shady mayor. something. I would definitely vote for him over anybody else we've got running these days. That's for damn sure. Yeah, I don't know. This guy can't figure out whether the glasses on. Well, he's dead now, so I wouldn't

work for him at all. I can live with that. It's Robert fucking Forster, man. Come on. Shit, I'd vote for Isaac. I'd vote for Isaac Hayes for president, man. You get Robert Forrester from an alligator to be president? Yeah, that's right.

Is that the barn from like, Probably a 13 part 3. Is it? Oh, fucking A. It is, isn't it? I think it could be, because that location is around here. He should have waited to hang the guy in this one then, huh? Instead of on the flagpole. Could have done a reenactment. Sam was wrong.

This would never happen. This kid disappeared for a big chunk of the movie, and he's the lead. Yeah, where is he did? He wasn't even at the celebration. There is no Uncle Sam. He's the real killer. Oh, that's going to be the M-night. part of the story, right?

And they're not take off that wig and it's going to have like long hair or some shit. Doesn't she look like that chick from Adventures in Babysitting? Yeah, very much so. The one that You hit from a certain angle and it's like, oh, crap. Oh, not from her name's escaping. Oh, her name's

escaping me. Yeah, wasn't that the one that? From Karate Kid. Yeah. I think so. The one with the shorter hair, wait until she kind of turns her head to a 45. Not straight on, but when she turns her head to a 45, it looks just like her. Philip, you're obsessed, man.

I don't know. It's weird. I cannot remember her name now. Well, because I keep trying to recognize these people when they come on the stream, they look like everybody else. Right. I know what's an awful thing to say. But I was so happy the day that he was.

they shot this scene in Lances's garage because everything looks the same to me in the background. Elizabeth Shoe. Elizabeth Shoe. You get Elizabeth Shoe more credit. Yeah, if she was standing here, I'd pick her out.

Wasn't she in that Nick Cage movie, right? Where she was a hooker and they were in Vegas. He was drinking himself to them. Yeah. That's it. That's it. Yeah, Elizabeth She had a movie. She was in a

season one of the boys. I just met. Oh, that's right. Oh, that's right. She looks good at even older. Yeah, she was a nursing Homelander. Homelander was getting

the real mother's milk, huh? She was also in Piranha, the first piranha, not Piranha Double D. No shit. Wow. Okay, that's quite a resume, guys. See, like sometimes she makes the same faces.

Right? I don't know. So is one of these blinds the mom and the other one's the aunt? Or what is this? Yes, that's what's going on. All right. I think this is the mom. Okay.

And it looks like the mom wants to fuck the little kid. Okay, wait. It looks like the little kid wants to fuck the aunt. I don't know about that, but. We're more than 10 minutes in. So who's upset? He's obsessed with the uncle, right? Yes.

Oh, that's right. Where the hell is his dad? Did he even mentioned? That's a good point. Is George Clooney the dad? Is he? It might be. Maybe the uncle is the dad, too.

Ah. He'd be like, what's his name, Lance from Claus, Uncle Daddy. Oh, yes, right. Did you see the finale of that, Brian? No, I got to catch out. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that last scene with Uncle Daddy and it's pretty, pretty phenomenal. Oh, shit, the Smoker paid off.

Right. Man, these guys jam all day and all night, huh? With the clothing choices, I'm trying to figure out what part of USA this is. I think it's like Adam Ant invading the USA or something like that. It looks like. Vincent Donofrio was playing we've ever handled it I said, okay

Vincent Donofrio just believed them right Vincent Donofrio was in the babysitter movie Philip brought up right he was Thor oh yeah

damn I do look at this is the corrupt mayor he didn't like that dude kind of looks like the guy from scrubs mixed with. We're really, we're really stretching now, guys. Is that a killer clowns from outer space circus death behind him? It might be.

I wouldn't be surprised. They got all kinds of props from different movies. Looks that way. I think they called in all kinds of favors for this movie. Yeah, it looks that way, man. Oh, the big, the big main event right here. That kid had a Confederate flag. That's all his head.

No, did he really? Yeah. Pedro. Are you serious? Yeah, I'm sure they'll show him again. The crowd's not going to like salute or put their hand across the chest or something during this moment? Well, no, because I think they saw the guy burning alive right there. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Or maybe they should all just do like the Nazi salute or something. I don't know. The kids look impressed. The kids are having fun. That is on fire. And for the grand finale. That stunt guy just ate shit right there. Yep, yep, yep.

Great stunts in this movie. And he's still gone. That ain't CGI. Oh, that was a big. Oh, pretty good. There goes George Clooney. Why did he kill him? It's George Clooney.

Let's try to get late the entire movie. Why not? Because he's still like girls' wheat? Yeah, for himself, not for... Everybody ran in the left of the kid that... Oh, they got you. Okay. Let the blanket behind. You got to say PJ Solve first.

Right, of course. He'll come back for the blind cripple kid. With the Roddy Piper glasses. Oh, yeah, he's going to tell him. Put these on. Put this on. He's going to fight Isaac Hayes right now for eight minutes. He does kind of look like a young, blind scarlet.

Roddy Piper? Yes, he does. My uncle Sam. Those are the exact glasses, aren't they? Okay, Isaac, put on the glasses. Ten minutes. 10 minute fight scene. Was that a legit guy set on fire?

I don't think so. Because the way he kind of fell off the thing, it kind of looked like a guy was, like a stunt guy was on fire for that one. It was Kane hotter. They would always pay him for all this shit. Right? Seems like a waste of special effects money.

I'm too old for this crap. Well, Philip, he spent 40, what did they said? He spent, 40 years in the military and all he became was the sergeant. Amateur. Yeah, you were a four

sir generals. Good ice man. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's only a captain. Mad, Maver's. Two years later. No, Maverick was only a captain. Right, right, right.

Iceman was, uh, how far did Iceman get away? Yeah. Yeah. The Maverick was being Maverick. Yeah.

Yeah, he has to be in the Averick. That's why, like, in the Army, they have a warrant officer. Because once you go above, like, captain, you don't really fly anymore. Ah. So if the guys really like to fly, we'll just go an officer instead, which is technically into motion. Well, you can't like to deal with people, and they just get to do their job. That would be awesome, right?

Iceman was an admiral. Wow. Man. Well, no wonder everybody listening. listen to him, huh? Well, but he should have been more than that, probably. Look, I like how when Uncle Sam got out of the coffin, he tucked it right back in, look. It's not open, it's not the flag's not on the floor, he just set it right back up. He's cleaned up after himself.

Pedro, I think you're right. I think they're keeping this like, kind of like how people keep irons. There's no, there's no reason why this coffin should still be in the living room. Oh boy, here we go. Definitely fucking weird. Maybe his real dad's in there now. Paul Hopkins was his dad. So that wasn't a briefcase in Pulp Fiction. Okay, now we know.

I don't think is Jesus he, dude. My dirty laundry. They just shot it again. And the cripple case just, they left them outside. They forgot about him. Oh, no. Hey, Kay's, what are you doing here with my son? And why does he have that smile?

What do you mean you showed him your wood? I said, don't ask any questions. He's like, I showed him my strap on. What? My strap on leg! The kid in the wheelchair is just like a prop in the entire movie. They just kind of lug them around. They look him around and he does nothing.

Hold on. Wait for the M-night twist, Pedro. It's coming. There's an M-night twist coming. Like you said, they go outside the city limits and they're in like 20-22, right? Everybody's on their smartphones. Thanks, Ron is signed. What, aren't you? Vincent's an oftener who came to pick up his kid.

He just took off. a bottle of whiskey a long time with PJ souls so he's with what's this kid's name Jody Jody

Jody will watch him he'll watch him he's good Yeah but remember they don't know that He went to the car and they just He came back and the kid was gone He's watching the fireworks He's fine

Uh oh What The hell was she just walking around the house that I? She's girl of Uncle Sam. What's that way, yeah? Deleted things. We missed this whole part.

Don't hesitate to use it. She was about to stab you in the face, dude. No shit. That's bet to say, maybe not the smartest thing to say to her. Give her a gun? Why not? Rotary phone. Oh, nice.

Gens the days. Yep. What is it? Here's the M-night twist, Pedro. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. She's sneaking. That's a nice shot right here. Yeah, very nice. John Carpenter is. Are we seeing Obi-1 and Anakin go at it right here?

What's going on? They're talking about you made me into this. You kill for the love of killings. Oh, Isaac. Oh, boy. Isaac didn't even sell it. Right back up. I guess not. They're playing a real-life version of the guy was a worm.

Oh, boy. Just got to throw that at his head. I guess not. Neither were you, Isaac. We saw him. Right? This man has a wooden leg and he just got up like from that being thrown through a wall. Nah, we'll leave a kid in there.

It'll be fine. They just left the kid in there. He looks kind of like Jeff Goldblum in like stage five of the fly. That's what I was just thinking, man. I was just thinking the same thing. Not so much close up, but like with the shadow, yeah, with the light behind him. And they really left the kid behind. They went to, they went to Emnight Town.

They crossed the city limits. Here's where that real cannon comes into play. I like how they made, they made the assumption of hopefully the kids still are wrong when I get back. That is not how you hit your cannon to your trip. Yeah, I know. I'm thinking that's a bad idea. Yeah, I think the axle would have come off. With the chain dragon behind it on top of that. He kind of says like Michael.

Keaton. He's having a casual conversation with like a corpse. Right. He's not freaking out or nothing. That blanket is still outside. I'm telling you, it's just a prop. They just dug him around. This is like a 30-minute Twilight Zone episode that they stretched into an hour and a half.

Or monsters or tales from the crib. Tales from the dark side. Remember that one, Pedro? I love that one. I have all the seasons on DVD. Those are awesome, man. That kid is back on the escalator. He's putting in jeans shorts.

I know he's the 90s. He's playing the military marching drums. He's great watching the kid. He's my friend. Now we're going to the Monster Squad territory here. Why is he walking like the living dead now? Earlier he was walking fine. He was teleporting.

He was pretty, pretty. He was rigging pyrotechnics in like 10 minutes. Now, he's an extra from a George Ramarra film. Not much consistent. Oh, look, look. Isaac is about to blow him away. Right? He's going to hit him with a cannon with the kid right there right next to him.

Fuck it. That is, I guess that is friendly fire. What kind of canon did he have? Right. And I think how they just had extra bombs lying around. Wow. Oh, we know the blind kid didn't see what happened. Oh, he's smiling.

Brian. But he feels it. Oh, there you go. Right. It's Michael Myers. Uh-oh. He's got more than one. He brought all the cannonballs, man.

He reloading his cannon. Yeah, he's reloading. Uh-oh. Opie has a fresh wick for. it. Yep. There we go. Now the lighter works.

Your lighter sucks. But I like how the kids still within firing range and Isaac Hayes doesn't care. He's like hyper focused on Uncle Sam. Whoever's around him be damned. Because it's just right for the kid. He's going to do like a drop and roll out the way. Oh man. Oh, man. What do you do when there's a nuclear bomb about to go off in your vicinity?

Just get under your school desk and duck and cover. Well, that's a nice thumb right here. All right. That was more of a candidacy. Right? Yeah. Until that happened. He just burned down his aunt's home. Right. Is Laurie Strode in there or what?

No, but let's all keep in mind that just on a regular day, on a regular 4th of July for a presentation, he says, off a cannon. Where does that go? Do they like sacrifice a house every year? I don't understand this. Because he started with the presentation. I thought it was a blank, but evidently is not. He found he found some fucking exploding balls. It doesn't want to be a soldier anymore. Whoa, is he burning his G.I. Joe's. Yeah, and that's sad. That could have been his college fund right there. What an idiot. Yeah, right. That little storm shadow figure.

I always wanted him. Yeah. There goes a thousand bucks. There goes 300 bucks. And this is not realistic. If I was in the back burning my toys and my parents just walked out and just be so calm about it. I would have slapped the shit out of you because that's money. She's so proud of him.

He has boxes of this shit. Like a future serial killer and she's all proud of him. Right. Next he's going to throw the family cat in there. Yeah, look, Mom, I'm burning your paychecks. This kid has PTSD and she's laughing. And look, they do give you that idea.

He's got those eyes. Oh, yeah, he's going to be the next Uncle Sam. See, look. Just Dade the Hahn as a child. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Had to heard about that guy. a long time. For Lucio.

Luccio Fulci. I read that trivia. All right, guys. What's everybody's thoughts? I am the Marine. It wasn't shocker fun, but it was still a good time here sitting with you guys. Yeah.

People should check it out. It's a fun movie. You know, it's not too long. It's a... Yeah. No, it's fun. It's fun. Yeah, and he kind of mostly kills assholes anyway, so... Right.

We never saw the payoff to Robert Forstone unless we missed it. He just kind of vanished. He was the guy that got set on fire with the fireworks. I see. Okay. He was the fireworks display, man. Where his head was on fire one scene, and then they cut back to him, and he was like, oh, I have a flagged.

He was perfect design. Man, that stunt list is like short. compared to like the Marvel movies now where it's like a three-minute stunt list. Sure, sure. Maybe there'll be an after-credit scene. We got to stick around. We still haven't got the M-night twist, so. Yeah, I mean, pretty straightforward.

It was definitely a forgettable movie, but, uh... Was it? Oh, yeah. I mean, I won't remember that I watched this. And, but... Oh, come on. It was fun, man. It was fun.

It was fun. It wasn't bad. I didn't hate it. Brian, Brian, what's our next holiday that we're going to do? For a commentary? Yeah. I know we have, we did one last year. We'll probably do another one back-to-the-school themed horror movie commentary. Nice, okay. Billy Madison.

There you go. There's a bunch of horror movies that have to deal with Back to School. shit. Oh yeah, definitely. Definitely. All right. So Pedro, thanks for joining us, dude. Thank you for having me. It's always a fun time here. Yep. And I know we talked about what's going on at the show, but where can everybody find you? Well, yeah. If you guys want to follow me on Instagram, I'm on Dead Boy Lost in LA.

And then, again, Apple Podcast, Kay Fabulous Lucha Brothers, give us a shot and give us some feedback. And give us a five-star review. That's the only reviews we take five stars yes yes everything else gets kicked back right well unfortunately it doesn't that's the problem but you know we like to think that it does yeah well i don't think we've ever gotten any actual written reviews that aren't five star but somebody went in and gave us like gave us one star but didn't explain why i don't wait a minute that that's like that's too much of an extreme not to say why you would think so right i probably said something stupid to piss him off.

Ah, yeah, we probably pissed them. Yeah, like saying Spider-Man suck. Oh, yeah. I think that's right when it happened, too, right after. Maybe I sleepwalk my way onto the internet, and I wrote that review once I heard you say that. That's why I don't remember. I guarantee you I've got some hate mail

coming for the black phone, so, you know. Find out next week. All right, well, as always, we want to thank you guys for listening to another episode. sort of the horror returns. Oh, there is a post-crant. It was just there.

The guy ain't shit. Oh, fuck, man, I turned it off. I didn't see what happened. The guy still fell down. It was an outtake. It was an out-take. Now I know how he got off that thing. He just fucking ate shit.

That's how he got off. Oh, man. All right. Well, check us out at thehorror returns.com or email us at thehorterterms at gmail.com. Next week we're going to be joined by Bede and Marcy from the Super Network. Awesome. You know them, Pedro. Of course. They're awesome.

And we're going to discuss dead ringers as well as crimes of the future. Okay, there you go. So, Brian, until the horror returns again, Good night.