The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. 342: Christmas Evil (1980) & Christmas Bloody Christmas (2022)

Episode Date: December 13, 2022

This week, we stay in the holiday spirit with a camp classic as well as the new Joe Begos movie. Cool of the Week includes Chucky, Life After Beth, In Search of Darkness, and Tahoe Joe. Trailers are The Pale Blue Eye and Infinity Pool. The podcast spotlight shines on Big Dumb Monsters. And we get feedback from Xim Vader, Zoey Anneva, Spooky Astronauts, Marcus Wilturner, Matt Wood, Casey Shearer, Heather Powell, Don Anelli, Jerry Herring, and Bede Jermyn. Thanks for listening! The Horror Returns Website: https://thehorrorreturns.com THR YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/@thehorrorreturnspodcast3277 THR Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thehorrorreturns THR Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thehorrorreturns/ Join THR Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1056143707851246 THR Twitter: https://twitter.com/horror_returns?s=21&t=XKcrrOBZ7mzjwJY0ZJWrGA THR Instagram: https://instagram.com/thehorrorreturns?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= THR TeePublic: https://www.teepublic.com/user/the-horror-returns SK8ER Nez Podcast Network: https://www.podbean.com/pu/pbblog-p3n57-c4166 ESP Anchor Feed: https://anchor.fm/mac-nez E Society YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCliC6x_a7p3kTV_0LC4S10A Music By: Steve Carleton Of The Geekz  

victims. For those of you who delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify gore, welcome. You have found the place where the horror returns. Listeners beware. This podcast contains major plot spoilers. and the foulest of language. Join us in celebrating the old and the new, the best, and the worst in horror. Everybody to The Horror Returns. I'm Lance, and with me as always, are my co-host.

Brutal Brian and Fabulous Philip. Back for the attack. Fabulous. Yeah, man. Fuck it. Fuck a day, dude. Own it. I'll take it.

I don't know about Ness, dude. What's going on with nocturnal Nes? He hasn't, he hasn't graced us with his presence the last few weeks. I'll bet they're busy as hell at the airport with a holiday coming up. Yeah, plus, you know, he's got family. Yep. And we've got family. We'd just like to do this to fucking get away from them for a while.

Yeah, but he's been putting out the, the 12 random days of Christmas. Oh, yeah. That definitely takes some time. I can understand that. But you guys did finally put a wrestling show up. Yeah, we're going to do one more, and that's pretty much it for the year.

The event happened yesterday, so we're going to do a wrap-up on that one, and that's pretty much it for any paper views for the year. you. Nice. All right. Well, Brian, you

and I've got most of our Hannibal recorded. What do we have just like two more episodes we need

to do and start getting that up? I think we're down to four episodes of the show, so two

episodes of the podcast maybe. Yeah, that sounds about right. At least maybe we knock out season one,

maybe it offered for the new year or something like that. Yeah, that's our fault. Well,

you know, it's kind of my fault I meant to have the first episode up on Thanksgiving Day. But, oh, well, what are you going to do? What are you going to do, Philip? Philip, you got us loud and proud on YouTube, man. Tell us all about that.

Where can listeners find our new YouTube channel? Yeah, it's just the horror returns. The same as every other horror returns stuff we have. If you hear us now, sometimes it gets on YouTube pretty quick. So I don't really do any editing. I just throw it up there. Nice. If we say something stupid, it'll be there.

Would never happen. Never happen. We've got a few of them. All right, you guys ready to dive into Cool of the Week? Yeah. Yeah. Who's going to take it away? I've got one that I'm pretty passionate about.

Can I go first? Yeah, you're passionate about it. Oh, yeah, man. Okay, so season one of this particular show was absolutely amazing. we from going to Frightmare guys we knew we knew it was coming like two or three years before it actually started Don I know what you're talking about Don Mancini was quite talkative with us about his plans for the show but oh yeah although season one of Chucky was was amazing it wasn't it wasn't my favorite show last year but season two when you take all the characters that have ever been any in any Chucky movie

and you bring them in and you start killing a bunch of them off and you bring people in that like have had just maybe even just a small tiny roll almost like a cameo in one of the movies and they have a big role in this and then you take everything and wrap it in a bow by having them actually you know go to go fucking Catholic Catholic school for wayward children I mean it don't get any better than that man this this this this is solid gold, dude. I said I was going to watch the first

episode on my lunch break Thursday and ended up watching three episodes in a row not getting much work done. So far and away, guys, my cool of the week. Chuckie Season 2, which, Brian, I think you've seen now. Yeah, I'm not caught up, but I've

seen, I think, about half of the season. What is that one on? Amazon? The sci-fi USA Network. Oh, I got you. Yeah. Or as Ness would say, it's out there. Yeah, we try.

Oh, in our show, I know we try really hard to, you know, push these projects for the artists that create them because they do deserve to be paid for what they do. But, man, with the way things are right now, sometimes you just kind of got to get a little extra help looking for things because all these different streaming services. And then, like you take, for example, Paramount Plus, and they don't even stream yellow stuff. you actually have to have like a cable. Yeah. I mean, come on, dude. Give me a break. Somebody bought the rides to it.

I can't remember Peacock. Yeah, well, Peacock. Oh, is it on Peacock? Yeah, but isn't it like a season late? Like, they don't show it in real time on Peacock? I don't know. I'm not watching Yellowstone. I know the first season of Chuckie's on Peacock.

Ah, well, there you go, Philip. At least jump into the first season, man. I knew I was going to have to get the cock. Yeah. That's it. Yeah, so that's your cool of the week, huh? Oh, yeah, far and away. All right.

I'll jump in mind. I had an Aubrey Plaza night. Oh, God, I'd love to have another. Sounds like a good night. No kidding. Scrolling through HBO, just looking for random horror movies, and I came across Life After Beth, which I've always kind of looked at,

but never really actually watched. Yep, I like that one. favorite actors in that one. Yeah. Dane Dahan. Leo himself. Yes. Yeah, I like Life Afterbath, man.

That's a quirky little, I guess we'd call it a horror comedy. Brian, what would you say? I would say more comedy horror. Okay. Zombies, sort of. Yeah. Yeah.

Funny zombies, right? Yeah. Although Dane DeHan gets a little old in it. He starts. He starts turning into a zombie or a heroin addict or something. He's just being kind of whiny. Like at some point, it's like, dude, just get out. And then I watched Ingrid Goes West because it was on the suggestion for after that.

Have you guys seen that one at all? Yep. That's with one of the Olson. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's Ice Cube Sun. The other Olson. Yeah, an Ice Cube son who actually really makes the movie. I mean, it's not an awesome movie.

It's not really horror. It's just kind of weird. Isn't it like someone stalking somebody or something? Yeah, Aubrey Plaza is kind of like a stalker for this Instagram chick who is the other Olson. I can't ever remember. That Olson. And she's like staying at, Ice Cube's kid

He owns a house And she's running it out And he is Like just a kind of stoner Cool guy Through the whole movie And he He I think is really

What makes that movie So it's all right And then I checked out Fall My daughter wanted to watch it And you know You guys had said Good things about it

So It wasn't bad It's worth to watch it It's a fun movie man It's not It's not gonna win any Academy Awards. Oh, actually sure not.

Yeah. But it was definitely worth watching. I imagine on the big screen it was probably a little bit cooler. Yeah, I was just about to say I really wish I saw that in the theater. Uh-huh. Makes a difference, I'm sure. Yeah, because I just remember when I was probably a kid at the time I seen, when I seen Cliffhanger.

Yes, yes. In the theater and that opening scene when that girl falls and you just get that wide shot of where she's falling. Yeah. Didn't they steal that scene from a Jim Carrey movie, Ace Ventura 2? No, the Jim Carrey stole it from him. Oh, okay. He dropped a monkey. Yo, help.

Is that it? Is that it? That's it, man. So what's the cool, man, Fall? Um, yeah, I think Falls probably got to be the cool. Although, I was pretty impressed with Life After Beth. Good movie. Unwatch. we'll call it man the DeHaan factor pushes it over the edge

yeah if it hadn't been for Dane Dahan there you go I've been doing the 25 days of Christmas my way not Lances Oh no okay Yeah so a lot of Christmas horror There's a lot of Christmas horror on TV

Oh I'm sure there is I'm sure there is and not all good I would imagine No, not great. Not great. Like all terrible? Some are terrible and some are terrible in a good way. Okay. Like, if we were all together having some beers, watching it, we would have fun with a couple of them just watching it, kind of ripping it apart.

Yeah. Commentary is ready to happen, man. Yeah, and there was one, sorry to the geeks. I was supposed to, they invited me to come on to talk about one. one. I won't kind of, I won't say what it is because it hasn't come out yet, but I wasn't able to make it. But I'll probably talk about it next week. I'm sure the episode will be out, but it, I'll just say it was a movie. Brian, Brian, is that a cheddar goblin t-shirt? Yes, cheddar goblin.

I didn't even know they were out. That's awesome. Amazing. Yeah, I forgot where I got this. Yeah. Since we're on YouTube, I break out, break out my horror shirts. All right. Well, yeah, AJ is going to be out of town three nights this week, so I've definitely got a container of edibles that I brought back from New Mexico, but I've got a buddy at work that says there may be

some fungus available tomorrow. So we'll see how that goes. I'll catch up on some movies I want to watch. With cheddar goblins in them? That's what to say. You can always do a man to re-watch. Sure. Yeah. You're going to watch a color out of space and look at all the pretty lights.

Yeah, actually, I own that one. I bought it on Apple movies, so I'll own it as long as Apple is around. What is my cool week? I'm not done with it because it's like almost six hours long. I was a backer for In the Search of Darkness. Oh, that's right. Yeah, we got a shout out. yeah um since i was a backer they they said i can uh put my name in the credits and i put all of us in there

so very nice very nice right it's it's just more it's just more of the first two which which is to me is awesome because i love 80s horror movies and you know they they get a who's who of directors actors writers you know just so it's it's it's nice Not out yet because I was one of the backers I got. They sent me a digital copy early and eventually I'm going to get my Blu-ray copy. But yeah, definitely watch the first two. I believe they're still on shutter and I'll let everybody know when the third one's out because I believe that's coming to shutter also. Cool.

Sounds like a must watch. Yeah, for sure. That's it. All right, so we're moving on to horror headlines brought to you by Brian. Take it away, man. Let's see. Saw X. Saw X.

Is this a new one? Yeah. Sounds like the saw we don't need, Philip. Now, I just read that... Porn parody. I just read that it's going to take place between one and two. Oh, God. Here we go again.

We're going to pull a Halloween, huh, and have seven different timelines going on? I don't think they're Red Continent anything. I'm just, I think that's just a story that takes place between one and two, and they're bringing back, what was her name, Shawnee Smith. Okay. I was in the first two. Sure, sure.

So I'm going to assume this is the, we're going to get the story of how she ended up helping him. that makes sense so all right so if they did if they did oh seriously though if they did a saw X and it was a porn

parody do you guys think it would be like a BDSM version where they like put his dick in a trap and start turning well hopefully not that you can't

I imagine there'd be some toys involved You cut in line at the urinal. And then when I got next to you, you kept looking at my dick while I was pissing. I'd see your porn search. It's a cable movie? All right. She was in the last screen. She's also starring in Scream 6.

Melissa Barrera. She was the main girl. Okay. She is teasing that they are going. super gory for scream six more gorier than... Nice. I like that. I like that.

Okay. So, they keep up the same tone as they did the last one and just make the kills more goryer. I'm definitely all with it. Yep. Sounds like fun. Sounds like something we will all be

there for. Yep. Netflix has renewed Guillermo del Toro's cabinet of curiosities for a second season. All right. As well they should. And they said there's going to be a stop motion episode. I'm curious if that's going to be Guillermo's episode that he's doing because he just did the Pinocchio movie that just came out. Yeah, I got the, I watched the trailer for Pinocchio and I had pretty high, I got the impression that Guillermo has high hopes for this one, because I noticed

that he came out and did a little blur before the trailer and said, for your consideration, including best picture. He came around and actually said it. Now, that takes some balls. Is he getting a little too big for his britches? I don't know. I mean, literally, but. Terrifier, too, also put something out for your consideration. Oh, come on, dude. Really? Okay. All right. Well, so I don't know if everybody's just kind of doing it for a laugh. All right. I could see that. I could see that. Lance, you weren't here last week when, you and Phil talked about Mike Flanagan and his partner Trevor Macy

leaving Netflix to go to Amazon. Yep, but I heard you guys talk about it. So where's that going to leave? Is it the fall of the House of Usher that's already been filmed? Is that the one? Whatever's been filmed is still coming to Netflix and whatever he

previously done as far as like the haunting of or the mid, what is it, a midnight club? Which I had to tap out of. I wanted so badly to like that. but way too young adult for me man so basically those are if there was going to be any more seasons

of those those are done and since him and Trevor Macy went over to Amazon they are now reviving you remember they were doing the Dark Tower dude don't tease me Brian don't you do that to me

like as a TV show I don't know if they're doing it as a TV show they haven't said show or movie but the Mike Flammer again or somebody used the word of epic adaptation. Yeah.

They're going to egg. Philip, it would have to be a TV show, man. At least 10 episodes. And let's, I mean, to do it justice, you really need to do one season per book.

So what were there like eight or 10 books? Something like that. This could have some legs to it if it's done the right way. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I was going to watch it when Amazon originally was going to do their version. but then it just kind of dropped out and I was like well maybe that was for the best but now that Mike I like Mike Flanagan his adaptations of Stephen King's stuff oh yeah he seems to do well with the with King's work for sure and it seems like after working on doctor sleep it seems like Stephen King really trust him to adapt his stuff so yep got to be better than the Dark Tower movie yeah and we and we know how much money they were throwing and

at Lord of the Rings. So just imagine what kind of money they're going to put in Dark Tower. I could, yeah. Whatever they can do it's from Lord of the Rings. Yeah, I mean, I hear a lot of bad stuff about Lord of the Rings. I'm not even going to watch it, man. I've kind of heard a lot of good stuff. I checked out the first couple episodes.

It's, uh, yeah. I mean, the only thing you got to get used to is, um, you don't know the characters. Right. As you do in the movies, so. But it's not bad. like House of the Dragon, huh? Same concept there. All right, what else we got?

M. Night Shylaman's Knock at the Cabin will be his first R-rated movie since The Happening. Well, I hope it's better than the happening. The book was the happening. I don't even remember that movie. The plants and the wind are killing people. Oh, Marky Mark. Mark. Okay. Yeah, and he was like, what?

That's a bad one. No. I got to tell you, man, I read the book a couple of months ago that it's based on, and I wasn't super impressed, but that's okay, man, because Zemnott can take the basic plot and put a big twist to it, so we'll see what he does. We need to do a commentary on the happening. We could. See if we really buy Mark Wahlberg as a science teacher. Yeah, it's possible. Did he do the same thing in, like, Transformers, though?

He was a scientist. Oh, there you go. Graduated up. Let's see. The Frank Grillo movie, Manson, is now titled The Resurrection of Charles Manson. Okay. And I can't find where it was. I think his son wrote the movie or something, or is a screenwriter for the movie. Grillo's son?

Or Manson's. Okay. I don't know if they would allow Manson's big. You don't think so? No. Which, that's cool that his son's getting into the business, you know. And I like Frank Grillo. I really thought he should have been the Punisher in Marvel.

Ah, that would have been pretty damn good casting, actually. Yeah. So this is actually a Charlie Manson movie, though? I don't know. I probably should have looked it up. But, because he's got a cool story behind him if you know enough about it. I hope they don't change the Punisher logo, man. I like that old school Punisher logo with the skull.

Oh, yeah. You know, the fucking new one is, yeah, yeah, yeah, come on, man. They're changing it? They've already changed it in the comic books, dude. Check, check it out. Like, there's all kinds of articles. They said it's more, it's more woke. So yeah

I heard that I don't know what was wrong with the first one I mean seriously come on I can't even remember what they changed it to but it was yeah pretty hokey dude that's about dead well that first one that first

is it supposed to be like a dragon or something I'm not even reading the punisher anymore but I read it like back in the in the 80 well I guess what early 90s or whenever did he first appeared with Wolverine or something? I know the Hulk or Wolverine first appeared with Hulk and I think Punisher

did he first appear with Wolverine? I could be wrong. I got all the League of Geeks or the Geeks and you're all yelling at me right now. Yes they are Punisher first Sorry guys I haven't read I have not collected

Spider-Man. I haven't collected about 25 years so. It was Spider-Man. Yeah that's right. Which is pretty cool cover. It's him. aiming a rifle and it was like a target

on Spider-Man with the badass skull logo right? Yeah, that new one's not gonna it's not gonna last

because I don't know if you guys remember like a few years ago they made Captain America secret hydro agent oh yes I remember hearing

about that that didn't last long either right sometimes you just got to stick with a Classics, you know?

Yeah. All right. Let's see if we have anything else. This I'm not happy about. Uh-oh. The Ghostbusters' Afterlife sequel has been greenlit. Happy about that. But their directors...

There he is. So, brother. Can't hear you. Nass! Continue. Yes! There he goes. I think we're on our last little news thing.

Ghostbusters, Afterlife director, not returning for the sequel. That's all right, man. No, no, no. I think that movie, the Afterlife sequel, had a lot of heart because of Jason Reitman. Yeah. You know, the son of the original director and just growing up on the set and being around everybody. Yeah. And now he's not directing the next one.

Is McKenna going to be in it again? Yeah, same cast returning. Okay, that's cool. Naz, what's your cool of the week, man? I just saw a movie called Tahoe Joe. It was written and directed by a local here in Susanville. I think he lives in Reno now. Okay.

It was a found footage film. I premiered Friday night here in Susanville. I'm not sure if it's playing anywhere else, but I saw articles, so I went out to check it out. My son and I was private screening. We were the only ones in there. That's cool. Tahoe Joe, okay.

It's an IMDB. Checking it out. It was cool. It was just found footage. This guy goes missing. Looking for Bigfoot and he disappears. So his son kind of tells these other guys. His dad, the guy that disappeared was a army vet.

so he kind of hooked up his that guy's son hooks up with these other guys and has them go up into the Sierra's to look for his dad and then all hell breaks loose but it was pretty good I liked it I kept my attention I really love the cinematography of course found footage camera all over the place and the ending was a little

trippy so I had a lot of questions I was like, okay, because it kind of just ended. So I reached out to the director, Dylan Brown is his name, and he's going to come on the show. Hopefully next weekend. Him and Mike something. I can't remember the other guy, the other gentleman's name that's in it. But it was cool, man. Michael Rock.

Yeah, these two guys go up. Michael Rock is a military vet. I think Green Beret. And his buddy was the one that disappeared, because I, I think they had a tour in Afghanistan or Iraq, one of those places. He was also co-director? Yeah. So I believe they shot it with two cameras.

Michael had like a GoPro on his head. And the other guy was holding some kind of camera. And the three of them went up into the mountains and then all hell broke loose. So it was pretty good. It kept my attention. I really enjoyed what was going on. because a lot of when found footage films comes out, it's just like it's hit and miss,

depending on how you do it. I think the last one that blew me, blew me away that a lot of people hated was dash cam. Was it dash cam? Yeah, we all laughed at that, man. That movie was hilarious. They just hated the chick that was in it. That movie was a good.

You're supposed to hate her. I know. That's part of the stick. I loved it. I thought that movie was awesome. Yeah, it was good, man. It was good. I enjoyed it as well.

This one, it was pretty good, man. For a local guy, I didn't. My wife knows his mom and his sister. So I just got to support the locals here in town, and I love horror movies. So I thought it was really good. I have no idea. Okay. As soon as I find out after I talk to him.

Hopefully, I can talk to both of the guys that are in it. So we're going to hook up next weekend. and hopefully I'm not going to put out spoilers during the interview but I do have questions for them probably it'll probably be like an off the air

thing because there was something that happened at the end I want to yeah you don't want to give the ending away for the listeners man yeah so I want to ask that what were you guys doing here but other than that it was really good my son he enjoyed it

and speaking of my son we just did rewatches of John Carpenter's of the thing and then that other one the prequel. The 2011. We watched both of those. You got Brian's attention.

I asked him when they were said and done. I said, well, which one did you like? He said you liked the original one just because it was all the effects were handmade. Yep. Yeah. Of course, he knows who Kurt Russell is and he knows who John

Carpenter is. He'd seen all the escape from New York and big trouble and all that. Yeah, it's a shame about that. prequel though, because they actually did practical effects for it, and then whoever was doing the say-so, there was like, no, get rid

of them, we're going to go CGI. Yeah, because there was a few scenes in that one, that there was practical effects, but when the, when the monsters were moving around, you can clearly see it was CGI, and I think, I mean, I like the movie, but

I think when we see that, the monster walking around too long, Yeah. That's when I was kind of like, eh, all right. Overstays it's welcome. Yeah, but for what it was, I still enjoy that film. He liked it. Mike was telling me that they're going to do it.

They might, it's rumored that they're going to do another one. And I think Kurt Russell was going to be involved. And I'm like, they've been talking about that for a couple years now. So was Kurt Russell the one that was the, they're saying that was one of those guys were in Hayman. Keith David, not David Keith They said there's a thing that you can notice, but I choose not to to even look because it ruins it for me.

Because I like that not knowing which one or if any or if both. I just liked it not knowing. Yeah, I always felt like neither one of them was personally. They were saying it was in the eye. You can see something sparkling in their eyes. The only one who had sparkles I watched it, paid attention this time.

The only one who had the little sparkles in his eyes was Kurt Russell. But that could have been lights from the fire. Yeah. I think they also said one of them, you can't see their breath in the cold. Ah, that would be a giveaway right there. I wasn't paying attention to that. The first thing I heard was the eyes. Yeah, I heard that too.

Oh, and I also did, this is going to be a special. 12 random days of Christmas for ESP, A Society. I was watching Night of the Comet last night. I was going to watch that Christmas, bloody Christmas or whatever, but I got sucked into the night of the comic. I forgot that that movie took place 11 days before Christmas. Oh, that makes sense. I'm like, well, I might as well throw it in there. Brian, do you remember that one a lot?

The Night of the Comment? I love Night of the Comedy. We did it on this show, and I think some of the guys here didn't care for it. All right. Well, we're going to do that. We're going to do that one again later tonight. Okay. But yeah, I love that movie.

I hadn't seen it in a long time. Classic kids. Yeah, cool of the week, Tahoe Joe. I thought it was really good. I hope it gets a bigger release once it's doing its little rounds. I was really happy that he, a local here brought his movie here to show at the local

theater. It was in the big theater and Sierra Theater, so that was really cool. Is this going to be... Is this going to be Magnus? No, East Society. Okay. So, but I thought, yeah, again, Talo Joe was really cool for what it was. It took a minute to get going,

but once it got going, it was really good. So, but hopefully when I talk to those two guys, I have a lot of questions about how they filmed it, And they actually filmed it at my work, too, at the airport in Reno. So I got some questions there for that. Were you working at the time they filmed it? I have no idea.

If I was, I was in the bag room. Yeah, I might have been there. But, yeah, that was a really cool movie. So I'm not sure if it's showing anywhere yet. All I know, I just heard about it yesterday. My wife said, hey, did you know this was playing here? And I got to support the arts. So, but yeah, it was a good movie.

To Ajo, as soon as I find out that it's going to be everywhere else, I'll let you guys know so you guys can check it out. You had me at Found Footage, Bigfoot. Yeah, and military. Philip, you used to do special ops, didn't you? Oh, I don't know about special ops. Didn't you sneak into the palaces in Afghanistan? If I told you, I'd have to kill you.

All right. Yeah, it's secret. All right, on that note, Nez, you ready to take that little trip? I didn't see any of them, but go for it. Uh-oh. All right. Brian is going to take a, take us on a little trip down to the trailer park, the big, the small, and yeah, definitely the very weird. Tonight, that's for sure.

So, Brian, what's the first new trailer to talk about tonight? We'll save the weird one for last. Okay. We'll start with the dude. Netflix. I believe this is based on an Edgar Allan Poe property. Okay. I should probably tell the title.

The pale blue eye. Ah. And let's go with... It could be. All right. A world-weary detective is hired to investigate the murder of a West Point cadet. Steinman by the cadets' code of silence. He enlists one of their own to help unravel the case.

A young man, the world will come to know. known as Edgar Allan Poe. Oh, interesting. Okay. This stars somebody. Christian Bale. Gillian Anderson.

Oh. Fred Heinrich. Harry Melling is one of those Harry Potter kids. Okay. Is that... Toby Jones. Um...

He was a little nerdy kid, but then he grew up and everyone loves him. Yeah, that's right. That's right. I can't remember his name. I saw him at Emerald City Comic Con. He's a good-looking kid. Gary Melling. Yeah, that guy.

Who else is in here? Robert Duval, Timothy Spall. Okay. This is directed by Scott Cooper. Let's see what Scott Cooper has done. My phone don't quit. Okay. Scott Cooper has done nothing.

Okay. Well, just having Kristen Bailen and it is going to raise our Netflix by a dollar next month. Yeah, but you know he's going to be the one that makes that thing worth it. I would think so, yeah. I would think so. Scott Cooper is known for Crazy Heart, Out of the Furness, Hostiles. Okay.

Oh, okay. He directed Antlers. Ah, there you, man. Talent's a director for sure. All right. Very dark. Very depressing subject matter in most of his movies, but a damn good director. Yeah, I think you would need that for an Edgar Allan Poe story.

So, Naz, you don't think this is going to be the feel-good movie of the year? I don't know. They didn't show much, so I'll watch it. I like Christian Bale, so I'll check it out. He let me down with that one movie. Was it out of the furnace or into the furnace or whatever? You didn't like that, huh? That was too slow for me.

I thought they were supposed to be like biting or something in the movie. Yeah, that's what I thought. No, nothing. It was a lot of talking. I'm going to kill you. No, I'm going to hit you first. Let's talk about it. I'll definitely check this one out.

I like Christian Vale, Jillian Anderson. Yeah, it's heard anything forever. Yeah, I probably won't go into it. I'm thinking it's going to be the feel-good story of the year. Right. But it kind of, in a way, reminded me of Sleepy Hollow. How they'd bring this guy in to investigate these murders. And it seems like some supernatural stuff's going on.

Because does he find some evidence? Somebody's trying to cast some kind of do some kind of spell for immortality or something. Jesus Christ. Cut the guy's heart out. They were like, yeah, this guy hung himself. But first, he cut his own heart out. Yeah. How the fuck you're going to do that?

I don't think with a heart you can jump up onto a fucking stool and hang yourself. He shot himself in the back three times and cut his own brake lines. Oh, gosh. What do you think? I'm down, man. Do you get Christian Bale? Yeah. I think he had Philip at Christian Bale.

Yeah, it looks really similar to another movie. and I can't think of what it is, but it's sort of, like, I feel like there was another movie or maybe a TV show or something that had Edgar Poe in it. Are you talking about that one with Christian Bail in it where it was like Nik Nikolai Tesla and Wolverine was in it? Yeah. Oh, the prestige, no. Okay. It looks similar to another one. Like, I think they sort of have done this story somewhere before.

I just can't remember what it is. Yeah. The prestige looked like at least the sun came out in that movie. Okay, okay. Was that magic? Magical? Everything's got to be dark. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, it wasn't magic. It's like science that, you know, once science gets to the point where we don't understand it, it's indistinguishable for magic or whatever. Hey, science is magic. You didn't watch Thor. Not yet. I actually am.

But yes, they're magicians. Okay. And the prestige. Yeah, one of them does like a trick, and the other one spends the entire. movie trying to figure out how he did that. Like, he's making copies of himself or something, right?

Spoiless. Oh, for a fucking 10-year-old movie. All right. I believe this one is not coming out until next year. I should start having the stuff pull up. Damn. And it's a direct-to-netflix one, huh?

Yeah. at the moment. January 6. Okay. We're paying for it anyway. So why not? All right. Let's go to

Brandon Cronenberg's new film. The guy, according to Lance, has already surpassed his father with one movie. The better Cronenberg. Although I don't know, man, David got me back this year with crimes of the future. I forgot her name, but I guess he has

a daughter that's going to make her directorial debut? That sounds familiar. Nez, haven't you heard that he has a, Kronenberg, has a daughter? Wait a minute. That kid in the last movie,

he was the mean boy. Was he? Yeah, he was the mean boy and Harry Potter, the one that lives with him. Yeah. I was like, that's not the guy I'm thinking of.

Okay. Yeah, it was Dudley or whatever the hell his name was. Dudley. It can name like Dudley, you know he's going to be a little shit. You're thinking, you're thinking of the,

I don't know his name, but he like, didn't he like show up on Impractical Jokers? Oh, for fuck sake. I don't know. Nass, you guys who watched every Impractical Jokers. You, you and Theo, you ain't doing anybody, baby. Theo, that's him. I've seen a bunch, but I, not as much as him. But, no, yeah, I was thinking of a totally different kid.

All right. Brandon. What was that? I'm all in on this other movie. I don't know what the hell was. going on. Brandon Cronenberg's Infinity Pool.

Let's go with IMDB's fucking lengthy synopsis. Oh boy. James and James and M. Foster are enjoying an all-inclusive beach vacation

in the fictional island of La Togue. Why do they say fictional? Maybe they're like in VR or something. When a fatal accident exposes the resort, resorts, preserves subculture of

hedonistic tourism, reckless violence, and surreal horror. I don't know if I got any of that. It's a lot to take in for one movie. This stars the very awesome Mia Goth. Okay. Alexander Scarsguard, which his ID pictures, him in a tuxedo.

Yeah? But with no pants on. With a kilt, right? Is he wearing a kilt? No, he has no pants on them. Oh, interesting. Rock stars don't wear pants. Thomas Kretchenin

Cleopatra Coleman She looks familiar Like I've seen her in something Not Cleopatra Jones Okay No

All right Amanda Brugier John Ralston and Roger Kill This is of course Written and directed by Brandon Cronenberg I am in

Just for the simple fact Of the part in the trailer Where he gets arrested And they basically tell him the punishment for all crimes is death. And somebody hooks him up with this infinity pool that clones him, and basically they'll just kill the clone.

That'd be nice. See, I'm wondering if that's what's going on. Yeah, I know. Something tells me it's not what you see on the surface there. Well, they kind of drop that line, like they're talking to one guy trying to assure him that he's the original one. Ah, this could be pretty good, man. Yeah, I feel like that you're definitely

some weirdness in here. Yeah, this is, this might be a mushroom night, Philip. It's like the singularity, man, where man becomes machine. Right. It's coming. That's what happens with Nerlink, right? It's coming.

Do you still think he's better than his father? Let me see this one and see if I like it as much as I liked Cremes of the future. is it with my crimes of the future was far and away my favorite Cronenberg movie since the flying. So I know that's saying a lot. And he didn't do a whole lot back in the old days that impressed me. So we'll see, man.

We'll see. Did you watch the brood? I was going to say that. Actually, I'm not sure if I did. I don't think I saw the brood. Wait, is the brood the one that we did where they were all in the fucking swimming pool? No, that was terrible. It's not a

Rabbit or shivers One of those Shivers Yeah shivers That's right So what's the brute about Naz I don't know

It was crazy You watch it and tell us Maybe I'll like that one Yeah You can't ever really tell What Cronerberg Watch it Then go listen to our reviews

Okay Blonde hair kids I will do that I will do that Jesus Christ But I'm in on this movie It's got Eric Northman From Shoeblood

Okay And and uh what's her nuts pearl uh when's max when's max in come out uh they they didn't say i know definitely next year they just put that little teaser out or kind of had that 80s VHS retro vibe to it I'm in I'm all in yeah I I I she you might you might see her pop up in my best best movie of the year best movies of the year I just got this one oh nice I got a good This is the Walmart version

I guess this one has a different cover Okay Nice cover Yeah Um yeah Anything with The Eric or Scarsgard

Garzgard Anything with him I'll see it Because Northman was Helly good I like that movie You liked it a little more Than we did maybe

I thought it was good I have since raised my score on it I've been watching it I was going to say, I feel like I need to watch it again. Re-watching it and then kind of looking up to see how accurate some of his mythology was. And there's like little things in it that people are pointing out that he actually, Robert Eggers, like, painstakingly added little details to the mythology. And not even mythology to actual how people used to live their life and do stuff.

So it kind of... Gotta respect that. Yeah. And Lance, you said you're going to do edibles. Why don't you watch the Northman? Well, yeah, I had some other newer movies that were on my list. But we'll see how it goes. I've still got, Brian, I've still got at least 20 movies or so for 20,

22 that I want to watch horror movies. Did you watch this one? Yeah, that one's good. You know, I don't know if I'd waste the edibles on it. I was just talking about that. I watched it this one. Yeah, that was Phil's Cool of the Week. Yeah. I liked it.

I thought it was good. It was good. Yeah. I mean, Yeah. Hold on a minute. We got a special. It was fun.

It was fun. We got a special guest. What happened? Let me see. Here, show them. See this camera right there? Show them. You got a boo-boo?

You got a booboo? His hand, look. I don't know if you guys can see it. You can't see it. He's got his nail fell off. Oh, man. He got it when that happens. He got it smashed in the door.

And then it's fun. Let me see. Well, all right. He's tough. It'll, grow back. Okay, you go back in there. That's old school, Ness. It'll grow back. All right, you go in there.

Rub some dirt on it. Shut the door. Yeah, rub some dirt on it. Another thing I noticed I can't stop looking at it ever since my wife pointed out. She has no eyebrows. I'm all right. That's what it is. She looks weird, doesn't she? Yeah. I'll pay attention. good but then I'm okay with no eyebrows and I'm just like

what happened? I can overlook that she's a little on it's weird she's a little thin for my for my taste but not not enough meat on the bones huh

that's me I don't see a release date here on IMDB it does say it will come out in January okay it might pop up on the list. I don't know what I pair it with, but

figure it out. Yeah, looks interesting. I pair it with Island of Dr. Moreau, man. Come on. Original or? With Val Kilmer. I can't. Why can't? I mean, I love Val. Don't get me wrong. He's, he's Batman.

But after that documentary, man, it's just like, I know. I just rewatch Top Gun Maverick. Oh. Yeah. Iceman. That's getting some Oscar talk, guys. All kidding aside.

That movie's getting some serious Oscar talk. That is... We didn't rate it when we did it for action returns, but that's like closest to attend this year. Yeah. It's better than the original, Nez. It's way better than the original. Yeah, I love it.

I don't know if it's Oscar-worthy, but... Well, you never know. For some, like, special effects and stuff like that, but... Well, I think some of that. That might be a shout out to Mad Mardigan there, you know? You never know. Speaking of Mad Mardigan, you guys watch Willow?

Has he shown up? Spoiler alert. The old footage from the first one. Okay, all right. They mentioned him. He showed up in the end of the first episode? Did he? I didn't see it.

I fell asleep. They didn't have those typing machines back in the day, though, did they? I'm enjoying it. I talked about it with Phil last week. It's very, that book. movies very nostalgic for me. So, like, when the music kicked in... Understood, yeah.

I just... Missing Mad Mardigan in it, but I heard he couldn't obviously do it because of health reasons, so... Why is everyone having an accent except for the main girl? Because you're supposed to overlook it. She's the only one that doesn't have an accent.

I mean, nothing against her acting. she was awesome in it but i was just like that was bugging me because i kept noticing it like come on keely if you if you can't do an accent then don't do it don't don't do a kiano reeves in the dracula movie yeah or um or fucking kevin costner and robin hood prince of thieves that's not robin hood i was speaking of robin and i tried watching that russell crow one. It's not bad. Oh, where he's not the real Robin Hood? Yeah. Or that other one.

Was it Jamie Fox? Oh, when he was a Perman character? Oh, that was terrible, too. Men in Tights is my favorite Robin Hood. Oh, yes. Can't beat Mel Brooks, man. No.

All right. I don't even think we really talked about the trailer, so we might as will segue into listener feedback. All right, let's do it. This week, the podcast spotlight shines on Big Dumb Monsters. Each week, two Big Dumb Monsters have a few drinks and talk about new monster movies featuring some of their favorite big dumb monsters. And then point out the surprising number of horror actors that have appeared on murder she wrote. Oh.

I listen to their last episode on Starship Troopers and I think one of them was kind of saying some of the effects don't hold up. I think for the time in the 90s that it came out, I think they still hold up well, and the practicals are awesome. Yep. I'm with Brian on that one. That's definitely, was it Paul Verhoeven, did that one? Yes, yes.

And I love the shower scenes where the women took showers with the men. Oh, Co-ed showers? Yeah. And that had what's her name in it back when she was super hot. She still kind of is pretty hot, right? Sure. What are you talking about, Phil? Charlie Sheen's wife?

Denise Richards. Yeah, there you go. Okay. Wasn't she Dr. Christmas in one of the James Bond movies? That's right. Science. They were scientists. I was like, get the fuck out of here.

They ended with the line. I thought Christmas only comes once a year. Yeah. Come on, Nas. I don't know. It's not good. I like Remington Steel, but I don't know. It's no good. And Zim Vader pops up. He says, even though you all shit to bed with your thoughts on The Last Jedi, I guess he liked it. Come on. I'm keen to know your thoughts on... No, I like The Last Jedi.

Trash. Fuck y'all. Ruin the old story. Not trash. But who's seen Andor? Oh, he said, I love. I'd like to know your thoughts on Andor and where you think season two will go. Haven't seen it. Don't say too much.

I'm watching Chuckie right now. So that's my next series. I watched the first episode. I need to go and finish it all. Are you guys watching a Tulsa King? Yeah. Nah. No, I heard it sucks.

The bitch guys got to say it's fucking dumb. It's hell good. I like it. All right. Sly is back. He's back from after that. What was that? Let me.

let me get all my other shows knocked out and I'll check it out. I'm already done with The Walking Dead because the regular series finished, so I'm dropping everything else. So maybe that'll free up my schedule. What was that in? That movie that was on Amazon that he did. Oh, the superhero thing.

Yeah, I don't remember. It was all right. Oh, yeah. That was all right. This Tulsa King's making up for that one. Yeah. It's that good. It's hell of good. Yeah, but somebody said that he shows up in Tulsa because they don't

want him in the regular mob role or something like that even though he stayed quite in prison. I talked about it a couple weeks ago. Okay, but listen, somebody, they were on the benchcast, they said, okay, so get this, the dude has a personal driver, and yet he calls a fucking Uber, just so they can

throw an Uber joke in there, like, oh, I've been in prison for 12 years, what the fuck's in Uber? You know? He didn't know what anything was. Maybe I'll give it a shot. He was a little far-fetched, man. That's hell of good. I mean, I love what's going on.

How would it be far-fetched if you've been in prison that long that somebody's telling you to call a Uber on your app? I don't have an app. But if he has a personal driver, why would he have to call an Uber, Brian? Because he told his personal driver to go take care of these things while. Ah, okay. You got to know. I guess I got at least, yeah, give it a shot.

I'll give it a shot. He basically, the guy dropped him off. And he's, the guy had a shitty car and he gave him some money to basically go. I want, I want you to get a, think he asked him to go buy an escalade, black tinted windows. While you do that, call me a cab. And the guy was like, no, I mean you just call an Uber. Right. And he's just, you know, he's been in prison for almost 20 years.

Okay. Well, I mean, it is, it is, uh, Taylor Sheridan, right? Does he write it or just produce? it. He wrote it. All right. I got to give it a shot then. It's hell of it. I think it was good. So, uh, for your question on Andor, um, watch the Stallone thing. I haven't started it, but I know the guys over on the geeks, uh, podcast.

They're saying it's the, the best thing since the Mandalorian. Okay. And it's really, they said it's really gritty. it feels like something that shouldn't be on Disney Plus, so that's what Theo was saying. He whipped through that whole thing and he says it's good.

I only watched that first episode. I kind of just I'll get to it when I get to it. Yeah. Because I need to finish that and rewark finish Moon Night because that was garbage. Yeah. Yeah, I'm garbage. I'm still watching. I listen

to the episode. I listen to the episode of Marvel and Star Wars honestly. I listen to the episode where you blew Theo's mind and you were like, I hated it. He was like, did you finish it? And you were like, no. He was just like, what? Because nothing was happening.

It didn't keep my attention. I'm not going to lie. I made it to the end. Like that, like, Miss Marvel. I was on, I'll give it the first episode to watch. That was fun. That was fun.

Yeah. I just, I gave it the first episode. Yeah. And if it hooked me and it did. Right. It got me and I zipped through that whole series. That was elegant. good. She-Hulk

it was hit and miss. That was fun too, man. She-Holt started good, but they didn't stick the landing for me. Yeah, it started to fall apart. I mean, but I still enjoyed it, but it was falling apart, so. You know what they should probably

now, if you start doing this Disney, send me a check. But I think they're really kind of knocking it out to park with these special presentations. Yes. Oh, yeah. Like the Guardians holiday special and the Werewolf by Night, maybe instead of taking these characters and introducing them through series, just do like an hour long special presentation. Yeah.

Yeah, because both of those were hella good. Werewolf by Night was my favorite one out of the two. Guardians was good. I was, because I didn't really care for that last Guardians movie. I was like, eh, it was all right. Yeah. But, I mean, I can't, I mean, I love Theo. don't get me wrong, but

he loves everything. You, you can't talk him down on anything MCU, you can't talk him down on anything Star Wars. Star Wars. It's like, everything is good. I mean, I love Star Wars. I love the MCU, but that last Guardians movie was like, eh, it was all right.

Well, get ready to shed a tear in the new one. I don't know. Everyone's talking about the rocket might die. I'm like, he better not die. Give him a TV series. I'm calling it right now. they're killing off Rocket and the Drax.

Wow. Okay. Why would they do that? That's two of the most popular characters. Give Rocket his own series. I thought he was supposed to have a series coming out for some reason. He needs one. No, they're killing him off.

I'll be damn. Kill Star Lord. Kill Star Lord too. I'm kind of over him. I'm okay with that. Aren't they done? They can get somebody else in there. That's like all of them.

They said, Guardians is not done, but this version of the Guardians. All right. He's done. James Gunn is pissing people off over at D.C. now. Is he? Probably should have talked about that news. Basically, the rumor is,

even if the Flash and Shazam and Aquaman or hits, they're revamping everything. Wow. sometimes that's not a bad thing. I guess Patty Jenkins turned in the script for Wonder Woman 3 and they let her pitch in and they basically told her that's not the

direction we're gone so Wonder Woman it's not happening. You're fired. 84 was garbage. Yeah. I've never seen a movie series go from that good to that bad. Yeah, that one was garbage.

Which I think, honestly, I thought that was kind of a dirty move because I kind of feel like they were going to scrap it anyways, and they did just enter pitch it for no reason. And the only thing I'm hearing that is going to carry over is they might recast Jason Mamoa as Lobo, which I don't know if you guys know Lobo or seen the character, but that would be perfect casting.

Yeah, I like that. Yeah, so what's going to happen to Aquaman then? The rumor is they're restarting everything. Because they have a 10-year plan and everything that's been done. Black Adam might be done. Did you guys like that one? I thought it was fun. I liked it.

I thought it was good. I'm done with D.C. Move on. Not me. At the end of Black Adam, I was, oh, my God. All right. Give me more. I know they better do a season two, a peacemaker.

That too. That was fun. That was fun. Yeah. What did you just do? I couldn't see you. You don't see him? You didn't see me.

Oh, man. Hey, speaking of can't see me. I'm sorry, guys. I got to go. Something suddenly came up that I totally forgot about. That's cool, man. The ball and chain. Yeah.

Sorry, man. Always get to have you by, Nez. Yeah, I'll be back next week, everyone. Sorry, you're leaving all. of saying something about John Cena. It's a bloody Christmas. I think you'll like it.

I didn't watch it. Next week's the commentary, right? For. Brian? I think we have a commentary next week. We'll save it for the end. But yeah, Brian, we'll hook up later. All right.

All right, guys. Talk you later. Later, man. Okay. So, yeah, we're not really caught up on Star Wars. No. We got ways to go.

Regarding episode 340, where we covered three new movies, Zoe and Davis, says these are three of my top 20-22 horror movies. How convenient. Nice. That's what we're here for. Spooky astronauts say thank you for sharing. Definitely. Go check out her YouTube channel. Zim Vader says, what was the last horror movie you read?

rented from a video store. Ooh. Lance posted Saw 2 or 3 or 4 or something. One of the saw. Not Saw X. It wasn't the porn parody.

I promise. Zim said he's pretty sure his was cabin in the woods. Man, the last movie was a video store. I've seen this post and I've just been racking my brain. It's hard because I would go

I would go like especially when I was living by myself and all I did was go to work. And I neither went to work, movie theaters or the video store. And I was just, especially like Blockbuster, you get the 99 cent five night for five nights or something. Yeah. I would just grab like, you know, five or six videos at a time. And so it's really hard to even say what my last one was. Yeah, back when Blockbuster was still competing with Netflix They, for a little bit, did a run it online and they send it to you

And you can return it to the store and trade it for something else thing And I took a big time advantage of that We watched all kinds of shit Fucked up Blockbuster I know Netflix would never make it, huh? Well, they could still be around They could still be around if they played their cards right

Yeah, that's still the one. That's, yeah, really. And I also did like the mom and pop video store that was nearby me too. So it's very, very hard to even remember. Well, living a different time now. Regarding Barbarian, Marcus Will Turner says, uh, m's chef kiss. That's a good one. Good maybe.

It is a good one. I was very impressed with Barbarian. Regarding all jacked up and full of worms. Brian, you've seen that one? Great title name. You said you had seen that one? Yeah, it was a little. I wanted it to be just like,

what the fuck am I watching? And it was just so confusing. I was just kind of like, the fuck am I watching? It was no Mandy, huh? Yeah, it's basically people eating worms and getting high off of them and freaking out. But it just wasn't hitting that crazy factor for me.

It was just more, I'm confused. Yeah. But it is a little. It's a little over an hour, so it is a quick watch. Oh, okay. If you got Screenbox, which I do endorse Screenbox, not sponsored, but if you want to sponsor us, the horror returns at gmail.com.

Shameless blood All right And let's see Casey Shear posted a new video to the group A chat with George Booza Of a Christmas horror story Ah, okay The podcast is a deluxe edition

A classic pop culture podcast So yeah Check that out Casey's here Thank you Casey also said The new Christmas story Christmas is so good

Christmas story Christmas? Yeah, it's fun. It's fun. They brought everybody back. Yeah, I heard a lot of people say it's a worthy sequel. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I like the Christmas horror.

I don't know about that one. Okay. Give it a shot, man. Zim Vader says my wife wants me to watch the Santa Claus TV series with her, but we haven't started yet. The hell is that? The Tim Allen one? Yeah, the Santa Claus's. Sounds fun, man.

It's only like, what, six episodes or something? You really like Christmas, don't you? I do. I love all the Christmas shit, man. I've been watching some bonus Christmas stuff. I went to the theater and took the granddaughters to see Violet Night. They loved it. They loved it.

The five-year-old, she's like, look at Santa. He's killing the bad guys. Okay. We tried to guess your score. What would you give? seven, maybe seven and a half. I think that's what we said, right? Yeah, it was up there.

Definitely a fun movie. Yeah, that was awesome. Yeah, well done. Well done. I love the sledgehammer. I don't want to spoil too much. Yeah, I don't want to spoil too much because it's pretty good movie. You just reminded me, I think it's done well enough that there are already talking the sequel.

Yeah, there was a little teeny after credit. it seen there that might have hinted something. Yeah. I think it was just we were walking out and I kind of heard something and it sounded like they were going back old school. So maybe it'll be

more of an origin type thing. That would be interesting. That's what I'm missing from this. Yeah, because they tease some stuff and I kind of was like I kind of want a little bit more of that right there. Or at least how he became, went from that to this. Yeah, I think it'd be fun

man. This is a good movie. I enjoyed it. All right, cool. A whole series. I'm excited about that. After Lance stated in the group that he picks the movies and wears the pants in the family. Heather Powell says, do you, Lance? You sure watch a lot of Lifetime movie for someone who wears the pants. All right. Heather, calling me out. Rightfully so. Rightfully so. Zim says, I think we've been tricked into joining the Christmas and TV movie group. Heather says Lifetime Bot Lance. Do you have a secret Christmas movie Lifetime Group?

How many of them can there be? Oh, God. They're endless, infinite. How many comes out for a day? Infinity pool. Yeah, I feel like I regret that question already. Regarding Santa Jaws, Heather. Oh, God.

How could one not love Santa Jaws? Pretty sure that's Tim Davies' number one movie. Dona Nellie says he hasn't actually seen that yet, but when we did our top shark movies on my show, I had to sell him on watching it. He's not into the cheesy stuff. He likes more serious shark movies, like deep blue sea, shallows, etc. Like Jaws the Revenge? Yeah, there you go. The only thing that could have made Jaws, Santa Jaws better would be if it roared out garbage day.

I imagine it kind of like being wrong. Arbidge Ray, but more Godzilla and less Scooby-Doo-like. Jesus Christ. Let's see. Jerry Herring says, I only watch one Christmas horror movie, and that is Jaws the Revenge. There you go. Full circle. Zim says, everything after Silent Night, Deadly Night 2 sucks, right?

I saw three and hated it with a passion. Four, I don't remember too well, but I know it wasn't fun. I wasn't a fan. Okay. Never Saw 5 or The Remake Thing. Bede says they wrap up the Billy Ricky story with the third film and the next two are standalone series with a small connection between them. They are fucking weird. Okay.

And I'm about to rewatch the fifth one. Okay. The fourth one, I will say the story is fucking weird. has real no connection to the first three, but there are some good practical effects in there. Hmm. Cool. Yeah, Brian, you're working your way through all of them, aren't you?

Yeah, you might hear them randomly, I'll say, on another show. We're ready. All right, and the contest is still going on. What's the contest? Oh, feedback contest. If you email us feedback to read on the show. We know what we're doing here. And include your mailing address.

We'll get you a horror returns coozy. Just email to the horror returns at gmail.com. I mean, technically that's not even a contest, right? Because you don't have to beat anybody. You just have to send an email. That's true. So it's more of a giveaway. It's just easy.

So email us some feedback. We like to use contest. Yeah. Just email us some feedback. you get a free coozy or yeah what was it a sausage holder or some bullshit that's something else jesus dick sleeve one of those i like that better um our show intro and all of our new logos come from steve carleton from the geeks and uh be on the lookout for more great stuff from Steve.

Beyond the lookout for Steve will be appearing quite soon. Okay. Yes, because I told him we need to get him on other than screen movies. So is that before the end of the year or after the end? I won't say a date, but it'll be sometime next month. Whenever the next screen movie comes out. That's going to be a while. And our original skull artwork comes from Natshulani.

check her out on Instagram. And if you'd like to help the show, please consider becoming a Patreon patron. We'll let you pick the movies for a future show at any amount. And for $5 or more a month, also pick out a commentary for a future bonus show. And now we have stubby holders. All patrons will get one for free.

As usual, be patient. Sometimes it takes us a while to get stuff mailed out. Especially with holiday mail going on. I went up to the post office to try to get some. I'm out the other day, and there were people standing outside the door. So I may have to wait until January, folks. We'll see. We'll play by here.

One of my daughters, we get her a bunch of shit for Christmas, but, you know, a couple things are like the big, the big gift. Sure. And I won't say, because she knows we're on YouTube now, but. Okay, okay. All I got to say is a fucking mail system. Yeah, well, and they definitely weren't standing six feet apart. that's for damn sure.

Everybody was like breathing all over each other and holding each other. We've been in the middle of the... You know what? With it without COVID, fucking stay six feet apart for me, motherfuckers, please. I just don't want motherfuckers breathing down my neck

while I'm waiting on line, you know? I know they need to keep doing it here because we got the flu going around. Yeah, that's the flu going around. Sure. Flu got me and the kids. Did it? Oh, yeah, for a little bit of that, man.

Ah, it's a couple weeks ago, it's no big deal. And we've been in the middle of, we had a snowstorm last week. You guys have snow right now, don't you? I was looking at your weather. We're having it now. But I think, I think it was Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. It was so bad that canceled school for the kids. Damn.

To cancel school in Alaska, that's saying a lot, Phil. Yeah, it doesn't usually. go like that, but there was so much snow that they didn't have enough plows and stuff to hit every area. Jesus Christ. They need to plow game. Meanwhile here in Houston, it was fucking 86 degrees yesterday. A ton of fog and mosquitoes out the ass. Sweat my balls up. We're in shorts and flip-blops. That's what I'm wearing. Jesus Christ. All right. All right. On to feature attractions. This week, Christmas continues with Christmas Evil from 1980 and the brand new Christmas Bloody Christmas. Evil.

All right. So let's start with Christmas Evil. But what does it call Christmas Evil? Because my credits had a different title. I know. I was like, I hope I watched the right one. That's when you know the movie's going to be good when it has multiple titles. Okay. Well, we'll discuss that. here in a bit or was it bad fuck I got my rules mixed up hey 1980 Christmas evil or whatever you fuck else it's called yeah um a toy factory worker mentally scarred as a child upon learning is that what he learned is that what is that what we got out of that

um serve suffers a nervous brayna eats pussy i know that after being all the littled at work and embarks the guletide killing spree. But wasn't it a spree? It wasn't one really good scene. Near the end. He went on a did little something near the end. He did kill those four people at the church really fucking quick.

Like I saw him hit one person with an axe and the next thing you know is running going there's four bodies. Yeah. That is actually... I get ahead of myself. That is actually impressive to kill that many people that quickly before. for anybody has the time to react. He leveled up, man. Hey! And,

Phil. Real quick. The director and writer is Lewis Jackson. Real quick. Hey, Phil. Original, originally titled,

you better watch out that's right. That's right. Terror in Toyland. Yeah. But it's on, it's on Amazon. I don't think it's,

dude, I'm not sure which service it's on, but. Oh, man. I don't know what I want. I watched it on 2B, I think. Oh,

okay. well that yeah i think i watched on tubi yeah you could have watched it on amc plus i know but it's easiest for me to log into to be at work and people not know that i'm watching something instead of going through the passwords and the IT director might see it so too be uh be boys and girls the director and writer is uh lewis jackson also known for the deviants um okay all the fake snow was cut up pieces of plastic blast bags blown around by a fan. They had somebody whose job it was,

cut up plastic bags. Well, at least it is not instant mashed potatoes, because I heard that makes a huge mess. I'm sure that's hard to clean up, Ryan. So Lewis Jackson came up with the basic idea

for this film after smoking the Mary Jane one night. Yes. So that's a surprise. A lot of stories come up that way. And seeing a vision of Santa Claus holding a knife. I think he had a little more than weed. More than Mary Jane with that, huh? Kathleen Turner was turned down for the role as Harry's sister-in-law.

What? Now, that would have been a different movie. Yeah. All right. Christmas Evil, let's roll back into it. Crazy. We were already talking about it. Did because I was wondering why he went all freaking nuts from the very beginning.

Because he watched Santa Claus go down on his mom. Oh, right. That was his dad in costume, man. He didn't know. Jesus Christ, man. That changes your life when you wake for Santa Claus and then you see him eating out your mom. He's more interested in eating pussy than delivering the presents, huh? Is he mad at San?

Hey, I don't know. There was no cookies. I don't blame. Hey, that's a cookie. He did it all for the niki. I'm surprised Moose. I'm surprised Moose didn't show up then. We had some songs from that motherfucker.

Is he mad at Santa Claus? Is he mad at his mom? I don't get it. Did his brother not explain what was going on? Like, he gets so weird that he starts cutting himself. Yeah, that... Dad is a very strange beginning, because it would make you think he didn't embrace Christmas growing up and be a super fan of Santa Claus.

You would think that he hated anything involving Santa Claus, but he loves Santa Claus and he loves Christmas so much that he even works in a toy factory. Yeah. Yeah. And that's many years later, right? Yeah. I think it's 33 years later. Oh, that's right, because it was 1947. and then it was 1980.

Okay. I mean, he would look in the mirror and sing Christmas songs to himself. Like, Santa Claus is coming. And they did the little dance like, coming. I actually kind of liked all that because you slowly see him

kind of losing it throughout the movie. Or actually kind of very quickly see him losing it. Well, they do kind of mention there was a time period when started because it actually took place when it says 33 years later this actually takes place before Thanksgiving

Ah, okay, okay, I didn't catch that. Yeah, they kind of sped through it, but it does As we're seeing him kind of loses over that period of time from before Thanksgiving to Christmas. Well, he plays a weird guy actually pretty well. Yeah, and the other thing I didn't really get is that he's supposedly bullied at work. Yeah, but was he?

I mean, no, he's just, I think he's a little over-sensitive. Very oversensitive. That was just the basic ribbing. I mean, the only thing you can get mad at is the guy's lying about him having to go on, goes, gone out trip with his wife, so can you take my shift and then he later sees him at the bar? Yeah. That. I mean, who has that?

hasn't done that. Yeah, but I mean, that's the only kind of bullying I see because I believe he gets, doesn't he get promoted? So yeah, that's right. You could have, I mean, if I, if I'm, if I'm, if I'm the boss of someone, they're not telling me they're going on vacation. Right. Also true.

Like, neither you're going to show up for your shift or you don't have a job. I thought, Brian, I just going to thought it was, it was a little bit funny how, He got promoted, and then all of his, his co-workers like, Yeah, look at the big of Johnny. You know, we're sitting here working on the line, you know, these thick New York accents or whatever. And he's like, ah, you're going to sit in a cushy chair, you know, and he's like, oh, but guys, I'm one of you.

I like working on the line. I'm not a chair guy. I'm not an office guy. So I don't know, man. It was just that to say he was bullied is like, what a pussy. The logic of a lot of this movie doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Not at all. But with the guy going totally insane, which, I mean, he probably started out pretty insane and then just finally fell off the deep end.

Right. Yeah. I did like, because it was hilarious, when he's walking by and he's seeing all the kids and he's like, oh, little Susie or whatever her name is. It was creepy, but I like how she was good. See the next kid good. Then he sees the one kid that's obsessed with Penthouse or Hustler magazine. And he's just like, naughty. Yeah.

And then he's like asking the kids, what do they want for Christmas? And, you know, the little girl's like a doll. And the kids are like whatever. And then the one kid again, he was like a year subscription to Hustler Magazine or Penthouse or whatever. Which it rages him that he grows all the way up in his apartment. Right. I might sit down for the naughty book. But the thing with the little girl was super creepy.

I was kind of creepy with all the kids. Yeah, a little too creepy, man. You're looking, you're in New York, wherever he was, and you're looking with a little spyglass out of your window at little kids. Like, oh, look at that one. He's nice. He's naughty. Jesus fucking Christ.

This is a little too much. I should have been in jail a long time ago. Yeah, no shit. God help him if I see him fucking ogling my kids like that, man. This guy's fucked. What a creep, man. Would you form a lynch mob with torches and all kinds? Frankenstein style.

Where did they put the porches so fast? I don't know. How did they organize so quickly? And then the one father at the end, he's confronting him. him and what's his name, Harry? I think his name Harry. Harry Potter. Let's call him Harry Potter.

Yeah. The one father confronts him and pulls out a fucking switchblade. Yeah. Which I really thought the little girl, because the kids were kind of protecting him, I thought the little girl was going to pick it up and stab her father. I thought she was too. Yeah, there wasn't

much much action, man. Besides the four people he killed at the church and then other than that, like, uh... He killed the killed the one guy that tried to finesse him over the work shift. Remember, he killed him with the Christmas star. He slid his throat. Yeah, that's right. That's right.

Other than that, though, like there was the one old lady, or didn't the one old lady pop in with, she was like wearing a pen or something, and she hit him with a needle. So it had like a little tiny blood blood mark where she hit him with a needle. And I'm like, that's a little anticlimactic. Now, I'm going to ask you guys a question. If you guys want a full breakdown in a movie, go over to the Skater Ness Podcast Network, listen to 12 random days of Christmas. Me and Ness talked about this movie, but I want your guys' opinion.

Did the end when his little band flew in the air? Did that really happen, or was that in his mind? I'm going to say it was probably in his mind, but at that point, I kind of didn't care anymore. I was like, what the fuck? just happened. I'm going to call, I'm going to call that the repo man ending. You guys seen the movie Repo Man? Yeah.

Oh, when they get in the car, yeah. At the very end? Yeah. That's, we still need to do that with Darren, man. Oh, we really have to do that, that commentary. It's coming. Yeah, we put it off too long. Darren, if you're listening, and I know you are, repo man, January or February?

Let's not go any further than that. I call that the repo man ending. Let me do the schedule. I will say it will probably neither be January or February. Okay. All right. But it's happening. Natick you brought it up, and we're just talking about

this fantastical ending to this movie. To answer your question, Brian, I think it doesn't matter whether it really happened or not. It happened in the movie, and it happened in his brain and the brain of whoever is watching the van go away. But the thing that was pointed out to me was his expression when he's flying in the air, like he couldn't believe it's happening.

Yeah. So that kind of makes me lead towards that it was happening. Okay. Well, maybe this was a prequel to Violent Nine. I don't know. I kind of hope it was happening. I do, too. I do too.

I like the thing that it was. I was wondering how they were going to end this movie. I'm like, all right, is this mom going to kill him? Is he going to somehow get away? He's going to fly away in his fucking flying child molester van. You have to admit this was an ending you did not expect. That is very true. The fact that right before this happened, his brother tries to fucking murder him.

Yeah. Why can't you be normal? strangles him to do. Oh, his brother, that actor's been in a lot of shit, man. Yeah. I couldn't tell you his name, but he's kind of like that guy type of thing. Jeffrey DeMun.

Yeah. Oh, the Green Mile, right? Wasn't it like the warden or something like that? Yeah, me and Ness talked about it. I think he's good friends with Frank Derrimont, so he's been in like a lot of... Ah, makes perfect sense. Makes perfect sense.

Been in the mist. Green Mile, like I said. The Walking Dead. Yeah. In this role, though, he looked like he was like dying for more cocaine. He was just like sweating, sweat, pouring off of him. He was like, brother, what are you doing? What are you doing, brother?

What are you doing, brother? Yeah, I think everybody on this set was on some drugs. I think that's a fair assessment. Plus, it was the 80s. Yeah, I mean. It was a fun movie. I can't complain too much about this one. Now, do you guys agree?

Let me see. On review, The Rotten Tomatoes, the film has an approval rating of 75%. Wow. Damn. They saw something I didn't. I didn't like it that much,

but it was a fun movie. Tom Huddleston of Time Out Awarded the film of 4 out of 5. Tom Hiddleston? Huddleston. Huddleston. Yeah, no, I'm not, I'm not getting that. I'm not up there.

I mean, it wasn't, like, I wasn't mad that I watched it. Yeah. It wouldn't have ended up on any, like, bottom list or anything. Yeah. Yeah. But it didn't, it wasn't anything special. It was somebody else's favorite Christmas horror maybe, too, right? I didn't.

Really? I didn't, yeah, I didn't put it into trivia, but, uh, fuck, Eli Roth maybe, or? All right. You guys talk. I'm going to look it up, see if I can find who it was. This was on somebody's favorite. God damn it. Quentin Tarantino, maybe? All right. Y'all go ahead. Let me see if I can find it. Man, I don't know, because it's not like there was really any blood. I mean, I thought that the acting was okay from Harry.

You know, like I said, he portrayed a guy that was going nuts pretty well. But like, there wasn't a lot of blood. There wasn't a lot of action. It didn't make a lot of sense. especially with the ending, which kind of made it the perfect ending for the movie. But when it happened, I went, what the fuck? But I was kind of happy that it was over. Maybe he died. Right.

Maybe that scene where he wakes up in the back of the van on Christmas morning. But if he just froze to death. Right. And that was just all. That would be a dream. Yeah. Well, I figured he crashed and the mob got him. Yeah, or the parents of the kids, he was ogling.

Yeah. Making handprints and stuff on the wall. He did blackface before it was cool. Oh, my God. Careful, careful. John Waters. All right, guys, here we go. John Waters, the King of Trash himself.

That puts Divine in all of his movies. Let's see. John Waters recommends this as his favorite Thanksgiving slash Christmas theme film. So there you go. John Waters, the master himself. Speaking of which, I definitely expect him to show up in the Chucky series. Because he had a pretty good cameo in a couple of the Chucky movies. So John Waters, the King of Trash.

He should show up in Chucky. All right. So it sounds like it's getting pretty good reviews from the horror world. What are our reviews? on it. I think he went first. Me? Oh, okay. I don't know. I didn't go first.

I was the one thought. Doesn't matter. I'm going to give it a five, man. A what? I can't go higher than five. Okay. No, five's fair. Five's fair. Like, I didn't hate it, but I definitely am not planning watching it again. I mean, five's, that's what that five is. It's right.

Right in the middle there. Mm-hmm. Playing? Oh, Brian, go ahead. Yeah, I'll go a little, a little bit higher. I go six. Okay. Okay.

I think mostly based on his performance, because I think him playing a guy slowly, I mean, obviously he was a little out of his mind in the beginning, but just that slow descent into thinking you're Santa Claus and then the whole wacky van flying through the air ending. Yeah. I think that's enough to give it. of six. I can

see adding a point for the van. Lance, what do you think? And that's exactly what I did. Because I was right with you, Philip. I was five the whole way. I'm like, this is fun and it's stupid and it's cheesy, but it's also kind of dumb and stupid and cheesy. So once I saw that van flying

through the air with the eight tiny reindeer, yeah, yeah, six. We're all of, kind of on the same page here. Yeah, I mean, I think it's it's definitely like a Christmas, a horror Christmas movie like cult classic, so

even if you, even if you hear our ratings are a little bit lower than what you're normally here, I think if you haven't seen it, check it out. Take it with a grain of salt, right? Yeah. Well, I think you have to watch it after just having it being

a cult classics, you sort of have to see it. Sure. But don't expect much. if weird al had directed a Christmas movie on a lot of cocaine alright well let's roll on to our new feature Christmas bloody Christmas it's Christmas Eve and Tori just wants to get drunken party but when a robotic Santa Claus

at a nearby toy store goes haywire and begins a rampant killing spree through her small town she's forced into a battle for survival. Director and writer is Jeff Begos, also known. That's my guy. For Bliss and VFW. Oh, okay. Which one was Bliss?

That was the vampire kind of artsy one. Okay. He's done a bunch of good movies. Yeah, no trivia yet, but not so friend of the show. Jeff Daniel Phillips has a starring role. That was just because he didn't talk to it. He was supposed to give us an interview and he kind of blew us off. Yeah, didn't he do the, here, talk to this person and then like disappeared?

Yeah. All right, Christmas, Bloody Christmas. Brian, what did you think about it? I enjoyed this one. It was a little slow at the beginning. Yeah. It was a lot, a lot of dialogue. A lot of dialogue, but it was...

I thought the dialogue was pretty good and really... Yeah, it was fun. It was... You know, I really liked the lead actress. What was her name? Riley, Riley Dandy. Yeah. She just, just the conversation that her and her friend

or friend slash employee were having, I just felt like it was a really fun conversation. She looked like as, you know, cool girl, knew a lot about music, movie, They had good chemistry. Every other word was the F-bomb, but it was like, if these two people were really talking, that's probably how they would talk to each other.

Right? Yeah, I mean, I just, I dug her whole vibe, you know. It was, you know, Christmas, I'm just trying to get laid and not trying to have a relationship. I was like, okay, do you? I get it. Yeah. I thought everybody was fine in it, you know, for the most part,

you know, Jeff Daniel Phillips, you know, he's there doing his whatever he does. Like I said, it was slow in the beginning, but then when it kind of got going, then the fun started happening. The whole robot Santa Claus thing was ridiculous. I'm really glad because it started off as a point of view shot from the Santa's perspective, which I thought it was going to be like that for the rest of the movie, which I probably would have hated the movie. Yeah.

But then it kind of switched from that. I thought the kills were gory and bloody, but some of them were kind of off-camera. Yeah, that's true. I don't know if it was budget or just a choice, but kind of wish there was a little bit more kills. And then the movie kind of breezed after I say it was slow in the beginning, but at the same time, it was, it kind of breezed by because it's only like an hour and a half or a little under hour and a half. Right.

That final little confrontation, I really dug. Yeah, I like the special effects they had going there. All practical, too. Yeah. So will it be. my Christmas rotation as far as horror movies. I got to probably re-watch it another time because definitely Violent Night is in the Christmas rotation.

That's what I'm saying. You kind of can't help but compare it to Violent Night, and Violent Night's just a way better movie. Yeah, and Lance, you know, I like Jeff Begos. Mm-hmm. I like pretty much like the scene. Right. Is this my top of his movies?

No, it's kind of like in the middle there. Okay. But I still think it's enjoyable. And of course, if you don't have shutter, well, you should have shutter. But if you have shutter, check it out. I think it's a decent holiday. It's right there. Okay.

Lance, what do you think? I'm not a, I'm not a, I'm not a, I'm not a, I'm not a bagos fan. No. Yeah, no, no offense to our, our brother and friend of the show and patron and multi-time guest Jack Falvey the fourth because he actually is related

to Begos. Careful. It's family. Yeah, it's family, man. You know, just as Jacks would say, it's the club for the club. But sorry,

sorry, guys. I'm not a huge fan. I think, to me, Begos is Rob Zombie Light. Like Rob Zombie want to be, like trying to pull myself up to that Rob Zombie. As a matter of fact, he is so

Rob Zombie-esque and he's sucking Rob Zombie's dick so much, then he pulls in Jeff Daniel Phillips. Go ahead, Brian. Disagree with me. Change my mind. I know I'm not changing your mind, but I can see similarities. You might.

Are you saying with this movie or with all his movies? In general, but this movie is just to me, I'll tell you what to me out. I can see it in this movie with the dialogue. Okay. Bingo. Bingo. The dialogue for this was, to me, horrible.

Absolutely fucking atrocious. It was just him fucking aping. And in a very, very bad way, Rob Zombie. And that's just my opinion. It's like, oh, go flick your bean. And I could eat pussy like nobody's business. And, you know, you know. Business.

Women do flick their beans. I mean... Yeah, that's what I think. I don't know, man. It was maybe a little over-the-top and graphic, but it did seem kind of realistic from these two particular people. Okay. And they had some cool, like, horror movie talk and music talk and stuff like that.

Okay. All right, let's go to my positives. Number one, this Jeff Bego's motherfucker knows his music, okay? Because when they got to dialogue talking about music, like talking about Van Halen versus Van Hagar and Metallica and how once Lode came out, they were fucking commercial pieces of shit and hoars. Totally true, totally true.

He knows his music. I think this guy must have a musical background. I'm not sure. Was he a musician or something like that? Probably. I mean, he knows his shit. And when he starts talking about is, you know, talking as a fan and talking pop culture,

he obviously knows his shit. He did throw some shots in at Blumhouse in there. And that's cool. That's cool. I enjoyed black Christmas like one. Absolutely. She brought up Black Christmas. She brought up Black Christmas talking about the original one.

He was like, oh, it was not the Blumhouse movie? And she was like, get the fuck out. Get the fuck out. I loved all that. I loved all that. And one thing, you guys, Brian, you said a lot of the kills were off screen or something like that? Yeah. I'll get into it in spoilers.

But there was just something that kind of cut. Yeah, like you probably could have showed them a little bit of it. Yeah, but all right. So for my dollar or whatever I spend a month to get AMC Plus, it was worth it. I love the kills in this movie. Great gore. Great gore. Awesome kills.

Great special effects. They didn't over-relii on computer graphics. And when they had scenes with fire, maybe it was CGI and they just fooled me, but to me it didn't look like that fake CGI fire, which was really cool. You really are a stickler for fire. Yeah, I am. I am. And all those things to me were positive, but I don't know, the little fake commercials at the beginning, it's kind of like, I get it. If this was like an 80s nuclear wasteland movie, like nod to the comet type thing, and they're showing those kind of commercials, it would have been.

funny. But to me, it just kind of seemed like he was trying too hard with these fake commercials, where he was saying, like, Santa, use a military grade equipment now available only exclusively at this particular toy store. And of course, they just happen to end up in this particular toy store, and they just happen to all be partying there together. And these two just happen to go over here. And this one that is with them early in it just happens to be the final one. how it happens. Have you never seen small soldiers? All right. So anyway. That's what happens.

What's really going to happen is Mark Zuckerberg is in malfunction to get mad. Yes. Okay. Well, you know, all that being said, I'm not the biggest Vegas fan. And it's been proven to be time and time again. Everybody loved VFW. I wasn't a huge fan.

I thought Bliss was an absolute piece of shit. Atrocity. Horrible. Terrible movie. And I noticed the chick from Bliss got killed off early in this one, which was kind of cool to see, because she really irritated me in that movie, but I don't know, man.

Something about Vegas just rubs me the wrong way. It's just like he's trying, again, he's trying to ape Rob Zombie without the street cred that Zombie has. That's it. You guys go ahead. He has street cred because he's also a very divisive director.

I don't know, man. I'll tell you this. A lot of people go to see his concert. Oh, we're not talking about music. Okay. All right. Well. Film. All right.

I'm going to say that, like I said, I pointed out my positives. I didn't completely hate this movie. But is it going to end up on my top ten? Probably not. Well, yeah. I guess I can agree with that. Yeah. And I definitely see the similarities there.

And I thought that, yeah, like I said, the... Dialogue was maybe a little much as far as, you know, just being too blunt with stuff. But it also did seem realistic. Like, they're, I mean, obviously it's not realistic, you know, robot killer Santa. But the rest of it actually, as far as the characters. I see what you're saying. Like, the conversations and topics were real, but it could have been delivered in a different way. Yeah.

But it was like they were having a real conversation. And when she had reactions to, like, you know, Santa coming up and chopping shit down, they seemed like real reactions. This chick was kind of a badass. I want to hang out with her. I mean, she has the damn Unsolved Mystery soundtrack. She was pushing that so much that I kind of wanted to look it up and listen to it. I know. I'm sure it's out there, man. It probably does have some cool, like, creepy synth stuff on it.

Right. Well, the soundtrack, by the way, was really good. You want to talk about like a lot of 80s-type synth, like almost John Carpenter-S-type stuff? I enjoyed the sound. It went with the aesthetic, like the colors and the lights in the movie. I thought it was super cool. So I do think this could turn into some kind of cult classic. I think so.

It's a good possibility. I'm not a huge Christmas movie guy, man, and a lot of Christmas horror movies are really bad. and this I don't think was one of them I thought I liked it nice I mean I like I said it's it's it's nowhere near what violent night was

but uh but still still a fun movie I'm not mad that I watched okay okay I had a little bit more fun with this one than Christmas evil I had a lot of fun with this one I

I the dialogue didn't bother me because I do agree with you. It probably was delivered a little more bluntly directly than probably it should have been, but I did feel that it was like real conversations. I like to lead actress. Jeff Denny Phillips. Yeah, he was there.

Yeah, he was there and out pretty quickly. Yeah. Well, and her friend was pretty cool, too. thought they had good chemistry. Oh, the guy? Yeah. Or the girl that got her butt eight. No, the guy.

Yeah, he was, I will talk about him in spoilers. Okay. Lance, you pointed out the music. I did it. I thought the music was good. The whole lighting and aesthetic works for me. This guy knows his music. There's no doubt.

He definitely knows his music. and the practical effects were awesome I always always have to give it up with people that use majority of the effects and practical

so I have to have to give it up so I'm going to give it a seven and a half okay Lance I take it you are not well nobody changed my mind because I'm thinking the same exact score that I thought about halfway through this movie

and for the rest of the movie and leaving it which is not bad. It's about one third. It's about one third good. Three and a half. Jesus. Three and a half. Christmas Evil was better than this one?

Oh, absolutely. A lot more fun. A lot more fun. Just because Christmas Evil, I could see myself taking a hit of acid and watching and really enjoying. This one, I think if I took a hit of acid, I'd just fall asleep.

Did Beggos do something to you? That's tough. We'll have Jack on soon and he can maybe get us an interview or something and I can ask Begos. Jack, surprise us bringing Begos with you when you come on. And don't let Ed Snow, just have him pop up. That'd be great. That'd be like Philip with the guy with the pink hair sucked or whatever. I know.

Well, we won't get into that. Just in case he ever shows back up. No, three and a half isn't horrible. It's again, one third good. That's don't even watch it. I wouldn't waste your time. I mean, if you've got Shutter anyway, why not? But there's better movies out there, guys.

Well, I mean, fun for a Christmas slasher. That's for sure. Yeah, I love the kills. I love the gore. I really did. I'm not sure what the fuck you're talking about when you say kills off screen, Brian. Everything to me looked pretty visceral. Okay.

So good, good strong three and a half. Get strong three and a half. Well, I'm going to go, I think I'm going to give it a seven. Well, I mean, it was definitely better than Christmas evil. I enjoyed myself watching this movie, man. I think the dialogue is cool. The killed. Somebody's broken.

Wait. We got to do repo, man. All right. And I like the special effects, especially towards the end. I thought that was pretty good. The green eyelacers. I thought that was cool. Oh, yeah, dude.

He's a killer robot Santa. They have to make him all Terminator. Terminator. You will be terminated. About, about, about, about, about. A-ba. That's what this movie is. All right.

Santa Claus. They were like, oh, we can make a robot Santa. And why the fuck? Now, that's just a dumb idea. I got to say it.

That's what bothers me about this. It didn't work out very well. No, honestly, dude, at the core, what a fucking stupid idea. Have a Santa Claus toy that is a military-grade robot

that can kill? They did it in small soldiers. You know what? And I love all the guys in Spinal Tamp did voices in Small Soldiers, okay? But didn't love the movie. Spoilers. That's why we do it.

Yeah, I don't know how many spoilers we can have for this movie, but let's go. This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. You've been fucking warned. This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. You've been fucking warned. This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. you've been fucking warned The kills off screen

Okay The brother-in-law was off-screen Yeah, the brother-in-law He snapped the sister's neck Okay And then the brother-in-law was climbing back And I believe Jeff Daniel Phillips I might have looked away for a second

But I believe he and his deputy were off-screen I don't know, but they went down quick Yeah Yeah, Jeff Daniel Phillips was off-screen And then he, like, chucked his body back over the top of the van. They did he, like, a Muppet, a Muppet body or something. But the practical effects were hell of good. Yeah, they were.

They were. It gets an extra point out of me just for that last scene in the movie where it's a, like, robot hands and Terminator style. Ah. I thought that was cool. Wow. I mean, it was. I felt like it was on my mind.

to the first Terminator. Yeah, they could have had a shitty CGI robot. True. That would have been really bad. That would have made my bottom 10. I don't think this movie's going to make my bottom 10. If they had a CGI fucking robot

and shit like that would have been like bottom 2. I really didn't expect the main guy to die. That caught me my surprise. Well, you know, you've got to have the final girl. man, the final girl. Yeah. But yeah, he had a good kill. His head got all splattered.

That's always nice. I enjoyed it. But the kill that really disappointed me was... Okay. The guy that was eating his girlfriend's butt and then banging her.

That, when it was the point of view from the robot Santa Claus, I was like, please do not let this be the whole movie. All the kills are like point of view. Yeah. And it wasn't. Yeah, which thankfully it wasn't, but I don't, what, he got stabbed or something, or, you know, he got axed.

He got cut in half, didn't he? Yeah, but I couldn't really see because it was shaking point of view. And then he, when he chased her down, he grabbed her head and was like bashing it. And I just didn't like the camera going, like, you know, back and far constantly. I can see that. But when, um, we got. passed that and got to the other kills I was like, okay, we're not, that was

just for that moment, we were doing the point of view because there was some good ones. There was a the guy he crushed his head on the stairs with his foot. I love that. That was great, man. You got to, you got to give it a little bump in points. This movie's not afraid

to kill children. I love that too. It would have been a three if he hadn't killed a kid. Oh, okay. Yeah, I've already factored that in, man. The deputy that first came, he just got his head completely split in half with the axe. I thought that looked really good. And then, of course, the love interest.

I thought that looked really good with the axe into the face. Let's talk about his Tommy Wiesel moment for a second, too, because she seemed to really enjoy getting her belly button licked. Yes. I was confused. Were they going to continue or did he, because did he just go down on her and that was it? Well, that's when the robot came. She was happy. So, you know, they kind of. They were taking a break and she was going to come back upstairs.

Okay. I'm sorry, but we don't got time for that. Interrupted by a robot. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm putting in the work like that. and then you talk about I'm going to go flip the record. I'm like, no, you're not. Because, I mean, he did make it a point earlier to say that he can perform that way. So he kept up to his words, so, I mean, I felt like it's only nice to reciprocate, you know. That incredibly lazy screenwriting.

where they said it like point Blake like that, Brian, and then he fucking did it. Point Blake. I mean, yeah, you're right. Sort of. She still had her underwear on and like I said. I know, that was weird. Why do you have your underwear on, man?

You just pull it to the side. Whatever works. It looked like he had her belly button for like at least half the time. It was like that. It was like the room and the Tommy Wise Out thing. Yeah. grinding on her belly button and they're like, he's too high.

What are we? You got to do what works. Maybe that's her spot. I guess so. I've got no spoilers on this one, guys. So, you know, like I said,

what you see is what you get on this movie. Yeah, it's a pretty straightforward movie. Right. You get introduced to the character as you, you get told why this Christmas Santa Claus exists, malfunctions, goes on a rampage,

and then final consultation with the mangrove at the end. Yeah, it's straight that. I mean, like I said, you got the green lasers coming out of his eyes at the end, which I have a fucking idea of wine, since they didn't need for that. Because he had. That was it. Regular eyes. Yeah, sure.

Okay. It's on. You know what? I'm going to change. anything outside of just the green lasers or is it just that little dot vision? I was thinking that during the movie. I was thinking of that too. Like if it's a robot why the fuck can't they design it to see whatever is going on or have heat sensors or something. Because it looked cool.

That's why they did it. Yeah. So yeah so my score firmly stands at three and a half. I'm still at a seven and a half. Oh yeah dude. I'm sticking with seven. I thought it was good. God damn. A top 10 Brian, maybe? This year, no, because there was, I'll just spoil it now. My list is done, my top ten.

Yeah, mine has been done, but I'm willing to open it. This is a very good, my attention. Very good year for horror. Yeah, my dog ate in the homework. Yes. All right, you guys are ready to sign out for the night?

Let's do it. Yeah. Yeah or yeah? Brian, anything you want to talk about, man, before we go? One more wrestling returns coming. There is a stream fiends recorded, which will drop any day. Ah, okay. Been a while.

Yeah, me and there's, but just kind of swamp with family and work. There will be action. There will be one more before the years out. Amityville and quick reviews and. ESP shorts, all that other stuff I do, it will come January. I just don't have the time to do it right now. And go over to the Skater Ness Podcast Network,

12 random days of Christmas dropping on random days. Well, so let's survive the holidays, Phil, and then we're back to normal, it sounds like. All right, let's try it. Okay. No crazy Santa robots. As always, we want to thank you guys for listening to another episode of The Horror Returns.

We would love to hear your feedback and ideas. You can reach us at The Horror Returns at gmail.com. Or you can just go to our website, Thehorrorreturns.com and check us out there. Look at iTunes and everywhere else. And next week it is a Christmas commentary, Brian, with Santa's Slay, starring the rest of Goldberg. Oh, the Goldie. I've never seen it. Oh, wait, wrong one.

This is a great Christmas slasher comedy. There you go. Should be fun. Hopefully we can all find it. So, Phil, until the horror returns again. Good night.