The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #357: Is It Really THAT Bad? - Troll (1986) & Troll 2 (1990)

Episode Date: March 28, 2023

This week, we are joined by our good friend Daeron Wilson from The Psychosemantic Podcast to ask that age old question: Is it really THAT bad? We cover the original 1986 Troll as well as Troll 2. Cool of the Week includes Ugly Americans, Holy Shit!, Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey, and Servant. Trailers are Malum and The Black Demon. The Podcast Spotlight shines on Kill the Cast Presents: The Friday Nightmares Podcast. And we get feedback from Matt Wood, Heather Powell, Mike Batchelor, Ryan Stevens, Al Ramseur, Bede Jermyn, and Marcus Wilturner. LET'S WELCOME OUR NEWEST LISTENER: JAZMINE MEARNS! Thanks for listening! The Horror Returns Website: https://thehorrorreturns.com THR YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/@thehorrorreturnspodcast3277 THR Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thehorrorreturns THR Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thehorrorreturns/ Join THR Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1056143707851246 THR Twitter: https://twitter.com/horror_returns?s=21&t=XKcrrOBZ7mzjwJY0ZJWrGA THR Instagram: https://instagram.com/thehorrorreturns?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= THR TeePublic: https://www.teepublic.com/user/the-horror-returns SK8ER Nez Podcast Network: https://www.podbean.com/pu/pbblog-p3n57-c4166 Spotify For Podcasters: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/esoc E Society YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCliC6x_a7p3kTV_0LC4S10A Music By: Steve Carleton Of The Geekz  

This is Phil Finding Carol, and you're listening to The Horror Returns. Greetings, victims. For those of you who delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify goal, welcome. You have found the place where the horror returns. Listeners beware. This podcast contains major plot spoilers and the foulest of language.

Join us in celebrating the old and the new, the best, and the worst in horror. Guys and gals and everybody else, welcome back to the horror returns, as always. I am your host, Lance, and we've got Brian in the house. took take two this week. We got Philip with the Cowboys cap. But we got a special surprise visitor at the THR studios here. And we've got Darren Wilson from Psycho-Samanicast, fresh back from the House of Mouse.

What's up, dude? We'll say Zara, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah. I'm doing all right. How are you doing? That song stuck in my head all day. But other than that, I'm doing well. Yeah, well, look, dude, you know how we start with Cool of the Week? Do you want to make yours the birthday trip?

Sure. It's totally up to you, man. You may have a movie in mind that just blew you away, but I want to hear more about it. There's quite a few things. Well, it's your show. You ask me the questions and I'll answer. It's our show. It's our collective show, man.

Come on. Okay. Well, okay, so a cool thing was that I took, two airplane trips and was not randomly selected by TSA for I think the first time in 15 trips. I'm always getting randomly selected. Always fun to not get fondled at the airport. Exactly. And, you know, traveling with a kid, one time I didn't even have to take off my shoes.

It was weird. Wow. Wave me through. It was nice. But, yeah, we took a little dude. to Disney World for his birthday. And that was the flying. That was flying from here in Columbus,

down to Orlando, and then missing a bunch of snow that happened here in March. Okay. And, yeah, coming back. Did you have some questions about that? I have actually watched a few things, even though the massive windstorm that ripped through yesterday knocked out my internet.

Oh, no. Snow and windstorms? What the hell? Yep, fun stuff. And we're not even, you know, usually it's Cleveland because they're up by Lake Erie. That gets the worst weather, but it ripped right through Columbus and pulled some siding off the house.

I had to find a siding guy on a weekend. Oh, not fun. Yeah, weekends are hard to find. hard to find people during the week even sometimes. I'm sure weekends are worse. So you, uh, what, what were the, what were the, what were the, what were the, what were the, like, what was his, what was his favorite part? Uh, little Dan, is, this was off for little Danzig, of course, right? Yes.

Yes. Not at all for Darren, right? No, actually I, you know, I'm not a Disney person. I, you know, since we're all friends here, I will say, I was sort of tainted by it by, my family went on a trip to Disney World when I was 10 and when we got back from that trip was when our parents said they were getting a divorce they wanted to have like one last good family trip but then that's that's what I sort of attached to going to Disney World

I was like okay we're going to show out of a movie man yeah so I was like you know a bit of a weirdos like okay my wife's going to leave me when we get back. Oh, no. How traumatic. Well, yeah, it was for a little dude. Like I said, he's, he's been talking for about two years. I mean, he's a big Disney fan.

He's a big Star Wars fan. So for his actual birthday, we went to Hollywood Studios. And it was the earliest any of us got up. And his favorite part of that was probably Rise of the resistance. Understandable. He had a total blast with that. He tried to join the First

Order. Yeah. He definitely likes the baddies. Cool. The dark side. Yeah. That was probably his favorite. Some little lightsaber thing that they were doing that you had to sign up with the Jedi Order or whatever.

Oh, that's right. I was trying to sign my kids up for it. And I didn't make it. I got one grandson into that when we got out of all of them so yeah we lucked out

to get up on the stage and like fight Darth Vader and shit yeah so I did you see anything really cool this week or done any good reading or checked out any new podcast that you want to

tell yeah I've got a few things I'll try to be fast I just rewatched the series Ugly Americans I don't know if you've seen it It was on Comedy Central back in the day. I've heard of it. Brian,

is that one you've seen? No. It's on Paramount Plus, I think, or Showtime. It's a social worker in New York. It's animated. And there's vampires and zombies and like all this other stuff. And he works in the social work office with a wizard. And my wife's a social worker.

And she said it's the most realistic depiction. of social work is just the factlessness and just, you know, there's the depressed alcoholic wizard and like all this other stuff. You know, there's, there's an episode with zombie Abraham Lincoln. And there's, yeah, it's, I would totally recommend that. It's very, I think it's from, originally from the early thousands. Okay. So yeah, that, a lot of hockey lately. My team is chasing the last place in the league to get a good draft pick.

Sounds like the Rockets. Yeah. Except for they do every year they lose the season and then when it doesn't matter anymore, they start winning and get like fifth or six. Of course, right, right. Yeah. All right. Brian, you want to jump in? Yeah, I got a few things.

I rewatched. Now, the only reason I rewatched it because Screenbox put out two short films that go with it. I rewatched the Outwaters. Yes, I saw you saw that on Facebook. They,

where is it? The first one is called Card Zero. You watched that one before the movie. Okay. And then the next one is File VL-624 and you watch it after the movie. Interesting. And it was a complete

waste of time. It adds nothing to the movie. That sucks. Even the one after? It's like a lost file or memory card that's found that they tried to piece together

stuff so it's just images of the vacation and a couple of images of what was going on. Yikes. Sounds bad. You have a new appreciation. for the movie at least?

No, it kind of made me hate the movie. I don't know. They were just kind of screenboxed just kind of let me down on that one. They were kind of advertising it, you know, as add-ons to the experience. And I just, like, I explained one of my problems with the movie was too much of the trip getting there.

Okay. Yeah. That was the prequel short film. I was just more of that. I don't want to see any more before it. My biggest problem was the damn... Flashlight Cam, where it's just this one little circle

that you can see in the entire goddamn screen. It makes an appearance in the second short film. Of course it does. I kind of figured that the prequel was going to be nothing really added to the story. but I was really let down with the last one because it was supposed to be a memory cards found. So I thought they were going to piece together something that was going to give you some kind of hint of what was going on. But no, I can't I can't recommend either.

Alternate dimension. That's what I'm kind of stuck on. it's altered dimension or aliens invaded. And that's what the sounds were in the background. Yeah. Or maybe that's what aliens are. There you go. I don't know.

Next up, I watched, finally got a chance to watch Winnie the Pooh, Blood and Honey. That was mine. Good. Did you like it? I don't know, man. It's exactly what you think it is. Is it?

I don't know. It seemed to me like a. Slash a movie and they just like To go into video game terms slash to Winnie the Pooh's skin On it. Yeah, I kind of dug the explanation. I mean, it's wacky.

Yeah. But I like how they explain the existence of these characters and why they're killing people. Right. And it's kind of fucked up what happens to Eeyore in the beginning of the story. You get run over? Has it got to be Eeyore?

It's always got... Uh, I mean, if you guys want me to spoil it, it's just... Yeah, because I missed that part. All right, spoiler alert. I'm good with it. Because I saw the Eeyore rest in peace. Yeah, because essentially Christopher Robin leaves the gang and kind of leaves them alone by themselves, and they end up alone and starving, and so they basically turned to cannibals,

and the one they choose to eat was Eeyore. what about Kanga and all them they're supposed to be making a sequel so maybe they'll pop up in that one or let's say they didn't really even address them because they might have ate them

I don't know maybe there was some pretty good there was some pretty good kills in there it was Eey or his tail he was whipping him with right yeah okay I get sure I had a good time with it because I took it for what it was.

You know, I didn't take it too seriously. And there was some pretty good kills in there. There was some head crushing and some slasher kills. There's some women in hot tubs, I think, and things like that, right? Yeah. Practical effects or CGI? Practical. Yeah, they had some actually pretty good kills.

So, I mean, I'll give them that. It was basically just a slag. Slash movie, but with one of the Pooh characters. But it wasn't a bad slasher movie. Yeah. And my cool of the week, I'm going to go with, I'm going to go back to Screenbox. And it's labeled as an action thriller, dark comedy. And it's called Holy Shit.

Oh, okay. I think I've heard of this one. Now, basically, the premise is a guy wakes up. He's in a turned-over port-a-potty. He can't get out because he's got a piece of rebar stuck in his arm, and he can't get it out. Oh, there's definitely going to be an infection on that. Yikes. And throughout the movie, he's trying to, his memories, he's not like, he doesn't have amnesia where he can't remember who he is.

He just can't remember how he got in that situation. Oh, wow. Because basically the porta-potty fell into a construction hole where the rebar was sticking out. and throughout the movie he's trying to figure out why or how this even happened and so it was it was pretty cool a little tame than I was really expecting it to be yeah not as much on the comedy aspect

but there was some comedy it is subtitled because it's I believe it's German holy schneitz in there however with it. Shiza. I think out of all the ones, I would probably recommend that the most. Cool. I'd check that out then.

All right, Port-a-Potty style. Well, yeah, and I'll jump in on that because the Winnie the Pooh, Blood and Honey was about the only thing that I've watched. Oh, no. Aside from Love is Blind.

We're not going to do. Oh, no. Ouch. Which is worse? I mean, what's your cool little? You didn't, you guys didn't check out John Wick for? Come on. Watch them with my wife.

They're fun. I know, get to the theater. Okay. But yeah, the blood and honey, it was, it was all right. It was, it was not as awesome as I wanted it to be, but I think I was right. Right. Maybe going in with higher expectations than I should have. And, uh, quite possibly.

It definitely wasn't terrible, but I was like, And it's just a dude with a poo mask on. You know what I mean? Kind of like troll, too. But he cried real tears. Well, I know, but he's got like people hands and fucking work boots. Because they're supposed to be like part animal, part human mutations. Jesus.

Yeah, he's mostly escaped his animal head. escape from the island of Dr. Moreau or what? That probably would have explained it. They're just lost in the 100-acre of woods or whatever it was called. And I get he didn't need a giant reason to make this movie happen, but it was like, he went off to college for five years, and so now they're like murderous beasts. Crazy. It was a weird turn.

Yeah, that didn't really. give me enough to figure out why they just became cannibalistic murderers. I mean, you guys couldn't feed yourselves. How are you feeding yourselves before? Yeah.

Lots of honey, I guess. He had honey. He did. And he controlled bees. He's like Candyman. Sweets to the sweet. Anyway.

Oh, no. So that's your cool of the wait, dude? Yeah, man, that's about all I got. The rest of it is not fucking... It's... It's a tip of my finger off, so that was funny. Oh, that's not cool. Hopefully it'll stop bleeding at some point.

I'm going to have to get the frying pan out and cauterize it, mustler. Rambo style. Yeah, what's you got to do, man? Rambos style. Like, go to the doctor. What is he going to do? Cotorize it for me? Oh, man.

Yeah, all right. Well, um... I did... I did make it to see John Wick for. Oh, is it out already? Yeah, it came out Friday. I went to see it. It's a three-hour-long movie.

So brace yourselves. It takes a while, but I won't give it. I won't give anything away about that one. There's a lot that happens you might not expect. So I'll keep quiet on that. But you guys ever, ever seen the Apple TV Plus series servant? Is it awesome or no? Yeah, you can't just.

John Wick, four? Yeah. You got to say it. It's 95% on rotten tomatoes. What does Lance say? Yeah, what percent is it on Lance? Uh, it's not six and a half. Oh, my God.

It's no ghoulies or no Pet Cemetery, 2019. It's no pet cemetery too. Yeah. As, as a base scoring mechanism here, what was your favorite John Wick? The first one. So I kind of like the back-to-basics, minimalist story. I don't know, man. They just, I thought they expanded the universe a little too much.

A lot of loose sins. What would your sense be on the first one? Probably an eight. I'm a little confused because that was some of the aspects you liked to the other one was the world expanding. Yeah, but they kind of took it a little too far out on this one, man. I don't know. I mean, if they're going to do some spinoff movies and, like, finally do the TV show and all that,

I can kind of understand why they brought in what they brought in. Yeah. I will add Yellow Jackets season two, episode one. Oh, it starts back strong. I haven't seen it yet. I haven't started it yet. Yeah, we tend to bend, so I'll probably wait a few weeks to start that. Is there only the one episode out?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I may have to wait on that. Okay. Yeah. Thanks for bringing us back up after Lance brought us down. The only person that I've heard that doesn't like John Wick 4. No, it was a cool movie. 95% of rotten tomatoes, come on.

But you just gave it a 6. Not officially. Let me think about it. I'll come back and talk about it again next week. You might come back and say it's a 5. I'll tell you what I did really love, though, guys. A TV show that just wrapped up on Apple TV Plus called Servant. little

En Night Shyamalan vehicle that actually his daughter is directing and writing several of the episodes in this fourth season but this was I think this is one that Jack would really love because he was disappointed with all the loose ends that

lost never quite wrapped up and this one brought a lot of loose ends out and each season kind of had its own little story and they tied everything up magnificently at the end. Like there were no questions left at all. It could have been interpreted a couple of different ways, the ending, based on whether

you're religious or not religious. Like you could take, you could look at it one of two ways, but you can't deny the fact that I think it was a really nice, nicely encapsulated four-season arc and only 30-minute episodes too. So they're like fly by. Like half the time we would start, we would start an episode and before you know it, the credits are rolling. And look at AJ and I would. looking at each other and like, holy shit, that's it. That's the end of the episode.

So it flies by. Flies by, you guys might consider checking it out. So is it over? Yeah, yeah, it's officially over. They wrapped everything up perfectly. No magic mic review. Check that out. Hey, man, Salma Hyac.

What can you say? The lady doesn't age. She must bathe in baby's blood or something. I know. Something about it. If that's what you're going to tell us, Lance, it was because it's not my right. Yeah, well, you know, I thought, you know, the wife might want to see it and, you know. I will tell you this.

Be careful what you wish for, Brian, because AJ is a fresh patron because she doubled her Patreon pledge. So we might have to let her pick three movies and you know how dangerous that could be. I didn't, I didn't hate her picks last time. Okay. More worried about this Longing, Winkston or whatever his name. Yeah, he's still thinking of through.

Musical picking motherfucker. Oh, is there a musical action movie? Oh, maybe we have to do a Bollywood action movie. Maybe Lingu will pick RRR for you guys to do on the action returns. Funny enough, I think at one point we had talked about doing a Bollywood action movie. Well, there you go.

It's a marriage made in heaven. All right. That's it for Cool of the Week, guys? Yeah. All right. Darren, you're ready to... Oh, wait. Not trailer park yet.

Headlines first. Sorry about that. All these years are doing the show and you forgot how it goes. Yeah, only, what, 365 episodes in? So, God damn, there's that many days in a year. We've been doing this a while, guys. this for a year's worth of weeks. Well,

what do we got on the headline front, Brian? Hopefully some Star Wars news for Danzig. No, Star Wars news. Has anybody even been watching a Mandalorian? I'm waiting to binge.

No, I don't even realize it was out. About halfway over, I think. I heard nobody talk about it. I know. That's not a good sign. I've heard several people talk about it. let's see we got some casting news for the new Ghostbusters

this is the sequel to Ghostbusters After Life After Afterlife Is that what it's going to be called? It's got a what do you call it working title Ah Okay They put the title on the little

Clapper thing when they say action It said a pirate house Huh That makes sense I think they're going back to New York to the old headquarters. I like it. I like it. What do you think, Aaron?

Go ahead. I would, well, I didn't watch Afterlife. I've, I met too, but since nobody has rioted in the street about the announcement of the sequel to it, I imagine it's at least half good.

Half good idea. Yeah? Yeah. The first afterlife is pretty good. I mean, it was, uh, that was the girl that I was trying to tell you guys about that. The show with the pedophile that I watched, I can't

remember the name of it. Okay, and that was a girl from Ghostbusters after life. Yeah, she's really good. Like a real pedophile or a show about a pedophile? A show about a pedophile. A show about a real pedophile. I was

confused for a second. It took weird two different rooms. Yeah. The newest additions to the cast are Patten Oswald and Kumel and Johnny. Okay, that could be cool. Is he still buff from, what, internals? Or has he gone back to regular size?

I guess he, when he got buff and changed his whole diet and lifestyle, I guess he really got into it. Oh, cool. That motherfuckers on steroids. you're not going to convince me otherwise it's part of lifestyle I mean and it's a change in diet right one could argue one could argue

let's see Linda Blair is going to be in the the Exorcist movie officially announced official okay how old is she well she should be she is I don't even want to say

because I don't know. She's up there. I don't want to put numbers on her. But I mean, she's got to be at least 50s, right? Huh. Okay. Interesting. Yeah, I think so.

Let's see. Robert Downey Jr. 64. Wow. Okay. She looks pretty good for 64 or two. Robert Downey Jr. is in talks to star in the remake of Alfred Hitchcock's Vertigo. Hmm. Okay. It could be interesting. I'm not trying to sure I like the idea. I know, man. Is it going to be a shot for shot remake like Psycho was or is it going to be like a change on the story?

No idea. I think it's a lose-lose situation. Uh-oh. Yikes. Actually, I think that might be it for news. Is that it? Darren, do you get any news to talk about? Oh, none for this show. I follow... Gotcha. Okay. All right. Now we're ready to take that little trip.

So, uh, if you're ready, Darren, trailer part. Down to the trailer part. Brian is going to bring us the big, the small, and sometimes the very, very weird. Brian, what's our first new trailer this week? First one we're going to talk about is Malum, which, uh, I've only seen posters of it, before I've watched the trailer because I usually don't watch

trailers unless they're for the show and I finally checked out this trailer for the show and found out that the director is Anthony de Blassey he actually this is a remake of one of his

older films Oh he's I was wondering if it was the same guy Yeah the original film was last shift Masked Wasn't that like on a TV show? No, it was a movie that came out.

Okay. I knew it looked familiar. Yeah, it kind of... Go ahead. Well, I thought... I had heard that they were remaking it. And then when we were watching this, or we didn't watch it,

but you know what I mean. I was like, this, I wonder if this is it. And then they said something was like, take the last shift. And something, something, when they were doing the taglines in the trailer. I was like, oh, okay, it is that. But I didn't know it was the same guy doing the remake of himself.

Oh, but damn. So you know, I'm making it. I guess he didn't like it last time? No, I, what I think, I enjoyed the original one. Yeah, it was freaky. It kind of makes me feel like he's doing the Sam Remy thing. Like, he got a little bit more money. Gotcha.

Okay. Some production value and updating it. maybe expanding on the story of what happened to her father. Because the way they're playing it out, I don't know if you got seen last shift, but the father dies. He gets killed by, what was it, a cult? Oh, geez, man.

Wow, this is. Yeah, this sounds terrified. I kind of get the impression in this version. He might have had something to do with the cult. What? It's what it looks like in the trailer. you know what's one of the Randy Randy rules from Scream about

sequels having to bring stuff up from the past or whatever but right it it looked pretty cool and it definitely I mean what last shift all takes place in an abandoned building pretty much that was what almost 10 years ago if not 10 years ago 2014 okay so I'm I'm interested I mean I like both versions of funny games

games. That was the same guy remaking himself. I mean, it looks interesting. Hey, occult stuff. I'm always down. Especially supernatural occult stuff. It looks a majority of it looks practical as far as the effects. Yeah, if he's got some more money

to throw at it and he's expanding the story and I like the original, I'm down for it. Yeah, I'm all in, man. This was a trailer that this would kind of took me by surprise

Brian but not so much as when you told me that this was the same guy

that did the story before that's that is kind of bizarre that doesn't

happen too often so yeah it's got all the stuff I like

man looks like a lot of fear factor you got a you got a cult involved so

count me in this one will be in theaters it's getting a theatrical release next week

March 31st. Very nice. So it's either that or Dungeons and Dragons. I heard of hearing some fun things about that one. Yeah, that's got to be fun. Yeah, it's just a fun fantasy action. Yeah. Kind of look like your highness

or whatever that James Franco, Danny McBride movie was. Yeah. Yeah. Popped up a Dungeons and Dragons is a top five movie of the year. Never say never, man. It could happen. All right. Our final trailer is the Black Demon

based on a Mexican legend. About a Megalodon shark? Any of you guys heard of this legend? I have not. Nope. Surprisingly. This one stars. My wife told me about the tooth rat,

but I'm pretty sure that was just her family making it up. I don't think it's a Mexican thing. I was going to say, hold on that because I want to come back to the tooth rat. Okay. This stars Josh Lucas and Fernanda, you Jola, probably pronounce that wrong. This is directed by Adrian Grunberg. That sounds familiar. Mm-hmm.

Oh, he directed Rambo Last Blood. get the gringo Apocalypse Oh wow He worked on Apocalyptic Oh shit Okay He's done a lot of action movies

Ah This one looks like it has potential Don't you think Darren Yeah I mean I'm pretty easy sell On animal horror Yeah Especially since My sister-in-law is a giant fan

Of all the shark native movies So I've seen all of those Anything is no offense don and nellie if you're listening but anything that's better than shark nato right it looks pretty aggressive as far as like megaladon shark movies go

like i feel like there's going to be a lot more shark in this movie and less people which you know yeah is what you want yeah that's what i was thinking it looked we of course we have a smaller cast in the meg which was the big block Buster. Oh, yes. Mega budget release. Right.

I think this will work better with the smaller cast. And the Meg also looked like it was not looked because we've seen it. If I remember, it was a little bit more comedic than this one. Yeah, nothing comedic about this one, man. A lot of paranoia, small setting. Not, like you said, not a large cast. There may be some eco-horror element.

here of course dealing with the oil rig and yeah this is this is cool man has a lot of good elements I was really worried when I saw that you said this the trailer because I said oh fuck another fucking shark movie and I was like I'm gonna hate this before I even see it but I gave it a chance and I'm glad I did this is a looks like a shark movie done right anyway has a pretty pretty good cast so I'm all in Uh, this one, I believe, is also getting a theatrical release, April 28th. So now that we're done with trailers, can we hear about the tooth rat?

The tooth rat? The tooth rat. I don't know if her dad made it up or if it really is a legitimate Mexican thing. But apparently when she lost a tooth, her dad, if she threw it over the house, the tooth rat would come and bring her another tooth. What? Instead of, you know, putting the money under the pillow, maybe they didn't have the money to put under the pillow. Okay.

I was like, because, yeah, one day she started talking about it, and I was like, the what? That's not a thing. She's like, yeah, you know, the tooth rat. I'm Googling it right now. I don't know. It's one of those things that you think everybody knows about. Yeah.

And then you just watch the people looking at you while you're talking. Like, oh, okay. Oh, that was just a weird thing. I don't know. The two, the two, accordance of this first thing that popped up, the tooth fairy is a mouse in Spanish culture. Oh, okay. There you go.

There you go. So maybe it is the thing. There you go. Works up the new every day, guys. Play a popular figure who replaces a child's lost baby tooth that has been placed under the pillow. I don't, well, it doesn't say you have to throw it over. You have to throw it on the roof. Some weird shit, though, when she was kidding.

Did he go out there and look for it? Or did he just like, let it stay out there and leave it. No, no, no, no. You throw it over the tooth and that way you don't have to do anything with it. Oh, okay. Brings you on another tooth. Jesus. Okay, sure.

We're going to. I wish I would have heard that earlier. Yeah, a little too late now, right? All right, well. Well, I don't know. He plays hockey, so he might lose some more T's. Ah, okay. You may get your chance yet.

Yeah, as soon as we're done paying for the braces. Oh, yeah. That's when they'll start coming out one at a time. All right. Let's do some listener feedback. This week we shine the podcast spotlight on the kill the cast. presents the Friday Nightmares podcast. Jerry, J. Kenneth, Scott, and Heather look into every aspect of horror as they create a podcast for werewolves and cinnobites alike.

Find it on Legion Podcasts. All right. Friday Nightmares Podcast is what we're looking for. Legion podcast. Yeah. Or as they say, Darren, the whole is more than the sum of its parts. Yeah. Proud home to two of my podcasts. Matt Wood gave us some feedback for last week's show.

He said a girl walks home alone at night is a fucking boring artsy shit wank. Pass. He would say that. Hey, I'm not going to yuck anyone's yum. That sounds terrible. I know that sounds dirty. But yeah, this one's not. for me. Love under the shadows, though. I'm the total

opposite to Lange Longsteen. Okay. Heather Powell says, I dig that movie. Matt says, Stop being so angry. Regarding Blood rage, Mike Bachelor says, Lois. Louis Lassert is it.

I don't know. You guys remember? Oh, yes. The twins, the one that went into the asylum and the other one that was doing the real. You remember, Phil, the Thanksgiving commentary we did? Oh. It's not cranberry sauce. Oh.

Vaguely. Probably very drunk and I've already blocked it out. An attorney bracket. Al Ram Sur posted Jurassic Park. Yeah, I didn't, what was that tourney? Brian, did you see that? Or what podcast that was for? No, I think it was for Nightmare Junkhead.

They do a March Madness bracket every year. I thought it was for elevated horror. I'll take it. No. That wouldn't have surprised me if somebody snuck that on there. And if anybody would, guys, it would be Al. right and then don would get mad that was even on that don would have a 30-minute diatribe over that one about the semantics of Jurassic Park Brian created a poll says which one would

you rather watch troll or troll two good question troll two right now is running away with it though no I think I think troll one is making a comeback Brian? Is it? I think so. I don't know. I looked at it this morning. It looked like it was three to two troll now. So, okay. I don't know. We'll have to watch this one. I have to say something. That's disappointing. Is it? Three to five votes. Oh, yeah. Yeah, no shit. That's all the people that are there anyway. You can get the vote. I voted. Come on. There you go. You can't vote.

If you don't vote, you can't complain. That's what they say. B, Jermine says, I voted for troll too because you don't piss on hospitality. Sure, don't. Let's welcome our new listener, Jasmine Merns. Yes. Thank you. you're awesome jasmine

uh marcus will turner says uh forgot to share so here it is regarding the last of us um so on a bittersweet haunting an incredible note the first season of HBO's last of us comes to a close not going to fall into the misinformed rhetoric of uh that the video game curse has been lifted

because that was the case a long while ago uh with the sheer excellence of Netflix's castellvania aware of wolves within Sonic the Hedgehog and other titles lifting the aforementioned cursed taking video game

adaptations out of the CD dredges of future irrelevance that you bowl left them in but I will empathetically jump on board with the celebratory claim that VGAs are further solidified as a legitimate

subgenre, capable of doing absolute justice to source material, introducing non-gamerers and casual audiences to these incredible stories and characters they wouldn't otherwise experience. This series is a freaking triumph in more ways than a dozen. 9.5 out of 10. Damn! What?

It's... I don't know, man. I kind of tend to agree with them. I mean, I love the show. I've never played the video game once. Yeah. Probably could have a clue that in the news. The second game, they're going to split into two.

seasons. Okay. Nice. Okay. So was that the entirety of the first game? I don't know. Darren? You're our gamer, man.

If I remember, it was pretty close to the whole of the first game. Okay. I guess that makes sense. They had a pretty good finale. But did sort of leave it open-ended, you know? So.

Yeah, and it was kind of, did he say heart-warming or heart-wrenching? I thought it was kind of hard. wrenching. I remember the second game was more depressing. But that's all I really, really remember. Ah, okay. So look, look, we've got

that to look forward to. Yay! It's over now, right? Yeah. The game series? No. No. You put out a new game in a while. Oh, the show. Yeah, the finale was last week or the week before. Okay, I guess I can binge it now.

Check it out now, man. Yeah. My list of not finished series. Yeah, I know. I just finished Wednesday today. Oh, nice. Okay. I started that months ago.

What did you think about it, man? What was your takeaway? I enjoyed it. I feel it's weird. Like, everything I watch has Jenna Ortega in it, which I'm not complaining about. But, like, oh, she just, she's in babysitter-killer queen. Oh, she's in. American Carnage, that movie I covered on the show.

Oh, sure, sure. Last month. I was like, oh, shit, yeah, there she is. It's pretty cool. Yeah, she pops up a lot, man. I like the way it started. I thought it got a little C.W.ish, young adultish for me.

I don't know toward the end there, but, hey, man, my granddaughter loved it. All of them geared towards. That's all I care about. Yeah, that's true. That's true. I really like that first opening sequence, though, with the piranhas and the swimming pool. I wish there were a few more opportunities for that. But it was a good way to get the show started. Maybe next season. Maybe next season. All right. Well, that's it for feedback. Our intro and new logos, of course, come from Steve Carlton of the Geeks. You can find him on last week's show the week before, whenever that was.

and be on the lookout for more great stuff from him. Our original skull artwork, of course, comes from Natsulani, so check her out on Instagram. And if you'd like to help us out, please consider becoming a Patreon, patron. We'll let you pick the movies for a future show at any amount, and for $5 or more a month, also pick a commentary for a future bonus show. We'll watch anything you want us to. We are your slaves. Featured attractions.

We're going to roll into, is it really that bad? Okay. Troll and Troll 2. So we're going to start with Troll from 1986. A wicked Troll King in search of a mystical ring that will transform him to a human invades a San Francisco apartment complex where a powerful, which lives. Director is John Carl Beechler, also known for goleys, go to college.

Oh, go to college. That's the name of the movie. Another classic, right? It's, don't worry, it's coming to the show soon. And Friday the 14th, Part 7, The New Blood. Art 7. Isn't that the one most people hate? Or is that...

I got to ask Nas about that one. He's our Friday the 13th fan, right? This was Friday the 14th. I don't know if that was a typo or if that's what... That's the name of the movie. You guys never seen Friday the 14th? Saturday the 14th. I've seen...

I've seen Friday. I think it's a misprint. Okay. All right. Well, that makes more sense. I thought he did some kind of crap parody movie or like a porn version of it or something. Well, it's the new blood. Isn't that the one where it's not? Okay. I looked at him.

He directed Friday the 13th, Part 7. Okay. There it is. We know our horror. Writer's story by John Carl Buechler, written by Ed Naha, also known for Doll man and Chud too, Bud to Chud. Classics going on here. Yeah, big time.

Big time. Definitely 80s. Julia Louise Dreyfus has admitted to being embarrassed by her role. In April 2013, Jay Leno showed her a scene as a nymph on the Tonight Show. And Louise Dreyfus

was surprised and visibly annoyed that Leno had stretched up for Connection to the film. Although she remained covered in the film, her transformation into the ferry, an onset photo of Julia Louise Dreyfus was published in the March 1986 issue of Cine Fantastique magazine. That's a title for a magazine. That's just like an elevated horror magazine, if ever I heard one. Well, here's a reason to buy it. Her bare breasts were visible.

What the heck? It's pretty hot in this movie. Oh, yeah, she's gorgeous. She's gorgeous, man. I don't see anything about her performance that was embarrassing. That's just like the thing. Jennifer Anderson doesn't like her appearance in Lepricon. There's just a handful of people that are like,

well, I don't want to have anything to do with being in that horror movie that people still kind of like from their childhood. Right. Maybe your start. Yeah, I just found out, what's his name from ER? That was Batman. Clooney, he was in Grizzly 2. Yeah, and I thought he was in a prom night or something like that also.

And attack of the killer tomatoes, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, horror movies are a great place to, get your practice in. We haven't started talking about troll two yet, but you know, this one, yeah, it's a good place.

Yeah, I don't know why some people have just distance themselves so fast. What did you think about troll? Yeah. The first one? Yeah. It's, it's hard to separate because this is one of those movies that I watched a billion times when I was a kid.

It was on a VHS with, I'm not even sure what. But are we comparing it to troll too, or are we just talking about troll itself? Troll itself. Just troll. Okay. Troll itself, things I liked about it were the practical effects. I like the puppets even. The puppets were better than the people or than just somebody.

running around in a mask. Yeah. The stop motion, they did a lot of really cool stop motion stuff. Yes, they did. The music. The soundtrack, what's the troll song?

It's called like Cantos profane or something like that. Is that? Sure. They're raw. I was thinking of the like my singing monsters app. Have you guys heard of that? Uh-uh.

Yeah, you like, put little monsters down and they sing. I was like, I thought this is what they got that idea. I'm sure it was. And I mean, there's things that, well,

I guess continue with things that I like about it. I like the way the story goes, the references within the references, like the pod people and stuff. Anything with practical effects sort of has me. I remember seeing Julia Louis Dreyfus pretty much naked was very important. important to me as a child.

A very poignant moment. I didn't miss a lot of the things about the neighbor Duke, the ex-Marine. Sure. He's got a picture of Richard Nixon on his wall, which I noticed now, which I obviously wouldn't get when I was a little one. Yeah, it's one of those movies that it's hard to just dissect critically because It's one of those picturing the video store. Trip as a child.

There's the troll with the spirally ball and, you know, oh, brother elf. And just like a bunch of shit that would be corny as fuck now. But when you see it when you're six or seven or eight, it's one of those gateway drugs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I took some edibles and fired up the vaporizer the other day. and just sunny bono swinging sunny bono swinging sunny it's like I knew I was that guy it's a corny as fuck movie but I like it

I guess would be how I would stop talking and pass the baton before I interrupt somebody in a few minutes Brian what did you think I kind of still love this movie this was like a like Darren said

this was like a staple in the video store like I still remember walking down the aisle and seeing that cover and watching this a whole bunch of times and what's his name is fucking awesome in it Michael Moriarty

from the stuff yeah that's right that's right no the father Harry Potter the one that went to buy rat burgers oh Harry Potter senior Harry Potter's Harry Potter Harry Potter

His dance scene was incredible. Hey, when that man needs to dance and just get it out. Shout out to his wife, too, because she was coming to tell him to turn the music down and just saw his passionate dance and was just like, no, I'm going to leave you alone. Yeah, I haven't had this moment. What was it, summertime blues? Is that what you're listening to? Yeah. Yeah, I still think the practicals are good.

I think the director, I think, and other. the movies he did direct, he did a lot of practical effects and that it shows in this movie, the puppetry, the stop motion. I still love all that. I don't know. I never got into like Dungeons and Dragons and stuff,

but I always loved like fantasy horror, fantasy action movies in the 80s because I felt like during that time, I don't think it's still done like that to this day, how it was in the 80s, and I miss those days. Yeah, when some of the parents thought that you were satanic if you played Dungeons and Dragons. Yeah.

But I still have a nostalgic place in my heart for this one. All right. Lance, what's thing? What, Harry Potter Jr. was a Treyu? Yes. I never connected until this week. Okay. Lance, what do you think?

I kind of love this movie, man. I actually, after all these years, I think I've seen bits and pieces of it, like maybe like, you know, late night cable or something like that, but I don't know if I've ever like actually sat down and watched the movie. And, you know, definitely back then we didn't know anything about Harry Potter. That's got to somehow subconsciously, I guess, inspired J.K. Rowling to come up with a name? Do you guys think?

Or is it just... You're saying this was her favorite movie as a child? Maybe. She said she never put it together, but she says a lot of things that are just like, well, maybe you should be a little bit more introspective. I'm not going to take it too far, but her pseudonym that she uses and she writes books that aren't under JK Rowling. You know some of the accusations of some of her anti-trans statements. Of course, yeah, of course. Well, her pseudonym that she accidentally came up with is like a pioneer, the name of a pioneer in conversion therapy.

Okay. She said she accidentally came out with it. Yeah, she just accidentally came up with the name that's exactly the same name as like the top name in conversion therapy. Well, there you have it. So she accidentally came up with Harry Potter. Understood. Gotcha. Okay, cool.

This guy definitely doesn't have enough money. to sue her. Well, she owes this was the Empire, so she owes Charles Bann some money. Oh, yeah. Well, yeah, I mean, you can, this movie definitely had that,

had that, uh, full moon feeling to it, you know? It had, it was kind of whimsical, sort of childlike, but yet, you know, that they,

they had a couple of gory moments and a couple of tense moments. The, I thought that the special effects were phenomenal in this one. I really, uh, Phil Fondacaro stole the show, you know, in his dual role.

He's a legend. He had a dual role here, man, because I guess he played the original troll as well as the neighbor. I thought that the little daughter did a great job acting. Yeah. She's like, more rat burgers! Yeah. It's like, what is this? What did you put on here?

Har-har! It's just... More works. Yeah, it's like a possessed little girl acted like. but it was actually a troll inhabiting her. Well, and I initially thought that that was Carol Ann from the Pulitzer. Oh, she just looked down for her a bit. Yeah, she looks so like her.

I thought everybody did a great job. I'm with you guys. Michael Moriarty, like, knocked it out of the park on this. I mean, yeah, I guess, yeah, pretty good actor. And he's probably, I'll bet he's not embarrassed of this movie. I bet he kind of looks back at it fondly and says, I've enjoyed the experience, you know? Sure. embraces this movie along with the stuff.

Yeah. I would think so, man. I like the stuff too. But yeah, I really enjoyed this. I thought it was well done. Good effects, good makeup. I hate to say it, but good acting. I mean, I thought it was decent acting in this for a, you know, B-grade horror movie.

So, and yeah, I played tons of Dungeons of Dragons when I was, you know, in high school and whatnot. And so I was big time into fantasy as well, as well as like a lot of those fantasy-tinged Led Zeppelin songs and Jethro Toll songs that kind of had that Woodlands-type sound to them. So I enjoyed this one, but glad we watched it. Glad I had to see it all the way through.

Yeah. I had the attention span for Hero Quest. I didn't have the attention span for Dungeons and Dragons. I remember Hero Quest. Do you remember Gamble World? No. That was another game kind of like a spinoff. from the company that did D&D,

but it was survival in a post-apocalyptic post-nuclear war wasteland. So, you know, you had to find canned foods that weren't going to poison you, and you ran into roving bands of cannibals and all kinds of stuff. They also did a game called Car Wars, where you would actually customize your car Mad Max style with all types of weapons. And you could have like, you had a certain amount of money you can spend based on what your roll of the dice was. You could get like oil spills and, you know, tires that had blades that came out and

bazookas and the old nine yards. Damn. I have no idea what you're talking about. I remember the old. Game me, man. Old school gaming. I remember the Oregon Trail. Oh, yes.

How could we forget that? The original. The original. The original. The original. Yeah. Fraction munches. What else was on those computers?

Yeah, the frog thing. Anyway. Yeah, man, I will always have a soft spot in my heart for slimy puppets. I guess they, it was the thing in the 80s. I don't know if they did that to make them look more real or. what and it's gross they all look like they're like covered in snot but it worked

I mean that there's some good practical effects man I really like that and Torok often had a stream of snot yeah I was like why do that

I noticed it's all of swinging sunny bono's leftover KY jelly I guess yeah Makes perfect sense. I like that the troll has kind of almost a like redemption arc thing that happens in this movie. Okay. It was a lot of fun.

Is this elevated horror? Is that what you're telling us? I think so. I mean, I think there's some background stuff to it, you know, like some really internalized rage or something. No, I don't care. And he was wearing a waistcoat. Yeah. Yeah.

The girl goes back to her young girl. That's got to say something, right? Did anybody explain the ending? Because everything goes back to the way it was, and the potters just pack up the car and the police just tell them, make sure you swing by the police station and make that file that report. Sure. He was like, sure. In the 80s. Well, they had to leave it open.

for another, yeah. Oh, fuck, I stepped on a needle. Oh, man. They had to leave it open for another movie. Well, yeah, that's kind of what you would have thought troll two would have picked up right there, right? But apparently not. But no, I think this was like a legitimately decent movie.

Like, I don't even know that it was B-movie. It had a pretty good cast to it, and they did a pretty good job. I thought so, too. had some serious production value. Great neighbors. Great neighbors, right? Like every different type of neighbor. Like the cranky landlady.

And then, of course, you know, you had the physical guy that was always working out. Yeah. Duke. Duke. I say it looked like John Wayne. But also in 80s, he was really into fitness. Yes. Sonny Bono was a leftover from the 70s, I would say.

Yeah. Okay. In life and in regular life. Yeah. But Eunice, yeah. But it was a fun movie, you know? Like, I don't think that it was necessarily a B movie. I mean, it wasn't awesome.

The story was silly, but it was fun, you know? And I liked it. I had a good time with this thing. scores Darren from 1 to 10 what do you give it oh minus nostalgia

or can I add in nostalgia whatever you want yeah I'm giving it an 8 wow I'm good you know

that's fair if it's totally critical I would say between 6 and 7 but yes yeah I mean this

this one's just I could watch it again tomorrow and be fine. Yeah. That's a good acid test. Brian, that's an acid test that I'm going to use later. Just spoiler. On acid. Yeah, I'm right there with you.

I'm going to give it at eight because I just, it just took me back to 10 year. I was, no, I was when I seen this, I was probably like eight when I first seen this. And I just remember my mom wasn't really allowing me to rent whatever I wanted, but you know, you go with my, you go with your dad to the, to the video store. And he let you just grab a couple of, you know. And this was one of them. I still picture that VHS cover in my head. Let you grab a couple of porns, you know. Get back to the back curtain.

Go through the beads, son. All right. Sorry to throw you off there, Brian. Sorry about that. So, eight on ten. You didn't throw me off. Nice. Eight on ten.

That's great. Your John Wicks score earlier threw me off. So I'll rewatch it, man. Give it a real score. Or if you guys cover it on the action, action returns, I'll chime in, man. Man, man. I'll send some listener feedback or something. We got a list of recommendations.

All right. That's looking more and more like triple R at this point, man. Got to get some Bollywood, I think. But I'll go with seven. Seven on ten. A lot stronger than I thought it was going to be. So I enjoyed this movie a great deal. Thanks for picking it, Brian.

Yeah, I'm going to split the difference. I'm going to give it a seven and a half. I think it was a nice, fun movie, man. I had a good time with this one. And I absolutely would watch this again today. Like, I turned it on and had a really good time with it. It was like, oh, this is awesome. Did you question, Phil, did you watch it with the kids?

Yeah, they were in the room. They weren't like actively watching, but it was on. Cool. Yeah, it seemed like the kids would like that. You know, some super gross pod people scene would pop up or whatever, and they'd be like stuck on it. This is interesting here. They were going to remake it. But the issues.

with financing largely because of legal issues involving the use of the name Harry Potter led to long delays. And how unfair is that? Like they did it first. They had it first. Seems like a pretty. Yeah, that is truly, truly unfair. It should be a common name.

Harry Potter sounds like a John. I mean, he's not doing witchcraft or sorcery. Yeah. And you're right. They had it first. It's just a. Yeah. if anything, they should sue her.

Could you imagine how much fucking money you could get if you successfully sued J.K. Rowling with all the books and all the movie sales? Jesus Christ. You know how many Eagle Bong movies Charles Band would do? We got that in the studio budget.

Evil Bong 6,66666, right? So, all right. So definitely watch the first troll. see about the second one. From 1990, troll two.

A vacationing family discovers that the entire town they're visiting is inhabited by goblins, disguised as humans who plan to eat them. Director is Claudio Fragasso, also known for Karate Man

and Terminator 2, but not that Terminator 2. I don't know how they didn't get sued. Writers are Claudio Fragaso with Rosela Drudy The entire cast went into a casting call

hoping to be extras and ended up in lead roles Well that makes sense The hell you say Director Claudio Fragaso and his wife Rosela Drudy Oh that's why she's a writer

Who only spoke Italian Wrote the script in very poor English On set the actor suggested they ablid their lines to make the dialogue sound better. Forgasso forbade that, and all of the lines had to be read as written. Which is probably why the kid when he was about to pee on the table was like, I must! I must!

In Best Worst Movie from 2009, Don Packard said that he was in and out of a mental hospital during filming. When he watched it later, he realized he wasn't acting in his scenes. He was really as disturbed as his character. All right. Troll 2. Darren, what did you think? This was the second time I watched it. I didn't get any extra deeper layers this time through, watching it with a critical eye.

I mean, I've never made a movie, so good for them for that. But it's one of the most obvious we're going to say that it's connected to this other movie that is not connected to at all kind of movies. I mean goblins are connected to trolls? Well, maybe they shared affinity for like, corn erotica or whatever the fuck is going on in this.

There's so much sultry corn scenes that I've never even seen in my life and I'm from Ohio. Yeah, it's, I'm trying to think of something nice to say or not saying anything at all sort of thing. but it's like, yeah, they, they showed up. They made a whole movie with drippy green corn porn, and everyone will always remember the, oh, and they're going to eat me. Ah, seen. That'll be remembered forever.

And I've blocked out most of it, actually, and I just watched it two days ago. No. Not that it's, like, bad. Bad, bad, but it was just kind of okay. It's definitely bad, bad. And sorry that I missed some of that, Darren. I've got an injured wife that I'm dealing with.

She's probably going to need to have knee replacement surgery eventually, so not good. The basic summary is troll two, not as good as troll one, in my opinion. Not to yuck anybody's yum or whatever as our dear friend Matt Wood says. about the girl walks home alone at night, which I like personally, but, yeah, um, the,

they just decided to say that it's related to troll. Even though it has nothing to, nothing to do with troll. Except for there are some short people. There are some short people. There are definitely short people with masks. Yep. And Turok,

Tarak, maybe was, uh, leader in the world of corn erotica because there's a lot of erotic scenes with corn and i was i was saying yeah the corn porn and i'll have to send you uh there's a weird field out in the suburbs here of these weird corn statues that i thought of and uh there is that and i have it's not even suggested to me whenever I allegedly log into any porn site. There's never

so much corn porn as there is in... When you're missing the wrong one, you want to go to Corn Hub. Yeah. Ah! All right. Perfect transition. Brian, what do you think?

I think, just like the documentary said, this is the best worst movie. I think you have to watch it because it's absolutely ridiculous. Not only is it ridiculous, but you learn things from the father. You said it earlier. You can't piss on hospitality. And when you're hungry, when you're hungry, you just tighten your belt and it gets rid of the hunger pains.

That's such a weird scene. Yeah, good to know. Good to know, I guess. The effects, the makeup effects are laughable. the acting is laughable. The story makes no sense. Just this family going to this place called Nilbog, which is Goblins felt backwards.

Nilbos. Because if you're going to hide that your goblins, just make the town Goblin backwards. So clever. So clever. It's like Monster Squad. Yeah. Dr. Alucard.

That's right. Darren brought up the corn porn, which was always hilarious but you can tell when ever they are done having sex the corn turns into popcorn popcorn

I thought that was in the middle of it that's when things heat up oh my God kind of like a little fireworks sequence after sex that they did in the old movies you got just strange parts of the story like

the boyfriend with all his friends in the Winnebecco they're all sleeping together Man, I forget about that, yeah. But there was also a scene where, like, the two dudes were sleeping together. Yeah. They were both like...

Yeah, I was like, what? What's happening right now? Well, I mean, there's only so much room in an RV. I mean, come on. I mean, I guess. Do you have to take your shirt off, man? You got the weird side... Corn Corn Storm.

You got the weird side story of the grandpa that you think is there reading him a story, but he's actually dead. I forgot. all about that too. It's like a princess bride rip off, but he's dead. Just listen to y'all talk is like seeing the movie for the first time because absolutely

nothing made any fucking sense. So it's like... There's just little things you gotta watch for the when they meet the witch. You got to see her excellent acting with her eyebrows and her facial expressions. It's amazing. I've seen better acting in community

theater, quite frankly. I figured that's where they got them. And then Phil brought up one of the best scenes is the only way he can stop everybody from eating the food that's going to turn them into food is to whip his dick out and piss on everybody and everything. That was the longest 30 seconds I've ever seen. And I was like, this is the conclusion you came to. That is bizarre. So, yeah, this holds a different place in my heart for different reasons. on a film level, it's not as good as the first troll,

but on a so bad it's good level, it's up there. And I don't know. I just, I love so bad a good, so bad it's good movies. So this is like Bird Demick? Have you seen Bird Demic? I don't want to. After we did it a couple of years ago on the March Madness, I think I heard enough.

Oh, coming. It's coming to an episode soon. Oh, no. I think my favorite so bad it's good movie was the heavy metal movie we reviewed. Is that what it's called heavy metal? You know what I'm talking about? Rock and roll nightmare? Rock and roll nightmare.

That was it. There you go. What was the main guy, Thor? Or whatever. The starfish fight at the end. He was all roared down and shit. I think so. That's been a minute.

dude fantastically bad didn't we find out at the end that Thor was really like Jesus or something or Satan or something else or something like that I think that Jesus in a long cloth fighting puppets so it was

I think that guy wrote and directed the movie also that starred in the movie right yeah it was like the first meta movie right it was like a film within a film so what do you think about yeah what did you think plants.

Oh, fair to that? About troll too? Yeah. It's fucking horrible, man. I understand why, no, I think I do understand why it has the cult following that it has. But I don't think it deserves it. I mean, I think there's plenty of other bad low-budget movies out there that would probably be much more entertaining to me that I just, that just don't have the, I guess, like the feedback. that this one gets maybe because of the

documentary or the fact that they made a national what were you saying to the trivia about they gave them the key to the city or something like that one day or they had a Nyborg or Nielborg or whatever the town was called Dave. No. No.

No. Boog. I don't know. Dan Baggard said he was in and out of the mental hospital during the best worst movie filming. I can believe that. He looked pretty kooky but guys, really? I mean,

it's just, I mean, is this deserved to be mentioned, like, along with say Tommy Wisehouse, the room? You know, it's, I don't know. To me, this one was just so bad, it's bad. Nothing made sense. None of the plot lines

held together. Why did the witch, was that the same actress that was the, see, I don't even know, that was the same actress, right? The toothless or the black tooth witch and all of a sudden she was the sexy corn corn hub girl?

See, you got a mistake and she didn't have a black tooth. It's supposed to be colored in so it looked like she didn't have a tooth. It probably was, except they were all like that. I was like, see, this is what happens when you don't brush your teeth kids.

Or do too much math. One thing's for sure, man. That scene where they were sitting around the dinner table and that that famous pissing scene you guys were talking about. I don't know about you guys, but like they were all supposedly, for whatever reason, the grandfather

gives them 30 seconds where they don't move. Dead grandfather has the power to stop time. Well, then how come the guy like was moved last visibly the whole time? Well, we all agree it's not the best acting.

Why were they fixing it into a bunch of green goo? And why was some of it white? Like some of it was fucking white. And did they run out of budget for green food color? They had to just use mayonnaise for some of the scenes or what? It's like he said about the notes on the door. It's hospitality.

You don't turn down food. It's hospitality. Good Lord, man. I've never seen this before and I'll never see this again. enough said enough said all right they they had a 700

000 to 1.1 million dollar budget and they made 5.5 million dollars well no no sorry that's the first toll oh okay that makes more sense I was like there's no way this thing

had a million dollar budget well this one had a hundred thousand dollar budget did it have a hundred thousand dollar budget did it have a hundred thousand dollar budget? Because if it did, I think 98,000 of it went to cocaine and marijuana.

Went to that guys. We know a whole 50 of the costumes. A lot of cord. Yeah, this was a really fucking bad movie, man. I started watching this. This is the first time I've ever seen it.

Same here, yeah. I saw the like the screenshot of it and like the picture of the goblins or the trolls or whatever. Sure. Well, I guess they're goblins because there's no... It's just people wearing fucking masks. Trolls in this movie. There was no motion in the

in the, I mean it wasn't even like rubber. I think he took this movie a little too serious, Lance. But I was thinking when I saw this picture I was like, there's no way after just watching troll one with the awesome special effects that these are the

trolls in this movie. I don't know trolls. I didn't look like trolls because they were goblins. Oh, okay. Well, goblins apparently don't move their eyes. Or any other facial features. But people put into stasis through a grandfather's spell, do. Moving like I was shaking the cup like this.

Yeah, it was just like people in potato sacks and masks. And it was such garbage, dude. And the whole time I was like, this is going to get better, right? And it keeps getting worse. And like, the special effects keep getting worse. The whole soundtrack is done on like a Cassio keyboard. The actors are, I'd never seen any of them. Thank God.

Normal you ever again. Yeah. Like, there was that one guy who was literally set on fire and, like, could, not convince me that he was in pain. It was not a great movie. But was it so bad that it was good? That's the question. I think so, man.

Uh-oh. I think it was so fucking stupid and ridiculous. I kind of had fun with it. Like if I had to watch, here's my litmus test that I was talking about earlier, right? Would you watch it again? If I'm comparing this to like two Jennifer, right? I don't want to watch again. This one, I would watch it again.

Okay. So I think it scores slightly higher, you know? As a legitimate score, it's awful, and we'll get to that. But kind of a fun movie, man. I'm sort of glad we watched this. It was a good time. I'm glad we watched troll All right

Darren, what's your score? Score for this I mean, it's It's a hard sport to give. It is definitely so bad that it's good, but I would give it a two or three. That makes sense. A two or three.

Somewhere in there. I mean, it doesn't matter when you get down there, but it's like, if you want to watch a weird shit movie that a lot of people say is a weird shit movie, Troll 2 is for you. I feel like I'm not mad that I watch it. It seems like one of those that you sort of have to watch at some point in your life.

I guess, yeah. So much hype around it, right? Brian? I graded troll on a nostalgic level. I'm a grade this on a so bad it's good, level. It's an eight. Whoa. Oh my God.

Ever got ever. Woo. Awesome. Oh, man. Lance, what do you think? I'm going to bring us down. This stuff is all over the place. This is a fucking one.

One. At least it made the scale. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, It's a one. Fake masks, burlap sacks, people that don't know how to read without looking at cue cards the whole movie. It's a one. It's a one. Not the Blacktooth chick.

She was pretty over the top. She'd like go right along with a Jim Carrey or something. Yeah, she was doing her own movie. Yeah, right. I would never see this again. I'm done. You'll see it when we do the commentary. Jesus.

This seems like it would have been a good one to do a commentary on, I think. Sure. I'm going to give it, okay, as like a realistic score, I think it probably deserves the one. What is your heart saying? What's your heart? There go. I'm going to score it with my heart in a so bad it's good level, and I'm going to give it a six. Not bad.

Not bad. Yeah, I had a pretty good time, and I would. totally watch this to laugh at it tomorrow if I was very inebriated. Yeah. Or in another mental state. Correct. All right. Well, that's the scores then, right?

That's it. So, uh, Darren, thanks for joining, man. Hey, thanks. Thanks for having me back. Oh, we appreciate it. What, uh, what movie are you covering next? Or have you figured that out yet for sure? Uh,

It's up in the air. There are a few that are being discussed. Oh, the George Clooney. Gotcha. Oh, for mine. Yeah, you know, George Clooney. He's going to be a special guest. But since it hasn't been recorded yet, I'm not going to say.

Cool. All right. Fair enough. And where could listeners find you? Psychosimantic. Search that pretty much anywhere, as mentioned previously, in the spotlight. it's on the Legion Podcast Network. And yeah.

Cool. That's probably easier than listening all the places that it is. I'd be surprised if you didn't find it somewhere. Nice. All right. And that's psychosomatic, not psychosomatic or anything like that. Symmantic. There you go.

Simple enough. All right. Well, as always, we want to thank you guys for listening to another episode of the horror returns. We would love to hear your feedback and ideas. Check us out at www. www.thehorror returns.com. And if you like what you hear, rate us and review us on either Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. Please consider becoming a Patreon patron for a dollar a month or more.

You can pick three movies, as said before. Can I get about true? How much for one rib? Oh, that Chris Rock special was phenomenal. That latest one. Have you seen it, Darren? No, but I'm in meaning to. Yes, we will not spoil anything.

One of the greats, man. Stick around to the very end, for sure. Next week, we're going to take another look at exploitation movies. And this time it's going to be car exploitation. Was it Stephen Spielberg that directed Do It? Brian? I think so. I think so.

So we shall check out Spielberg's duel as well as Death Race 2000 with, isn't it a sly Stallone that's in that one? Oh, Sylvester Salon and David Carradine. Yes, sir. That's right. If you've seen rock and roll high school, the principal from that, she gets naked. Ah, we'll be there. So.

Take a principal. Sign me up. Bill. Philip, and she might whip you with Eeyore's tails. So, Philip, until the horror returns again, good night.