The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #358: Our Look Into Exploitation Films - Carsploitation: Duel (1971) & Death Race 2000 (1975)

Episode Date: April 4, 2023

This week, we hit the road to check out some fast cars and killer trucks. Cool of the Week includes Kill Her Goats, NOPE, and Extrapolations. Trailer is The Elderly. Podcast spotlight shines on Battles with Bits of Rubber. And we get feedback from Xim Vader, H.L. Jacobs, Ryan Stevens, Daeron Wilson, And Erin and Kevin from The Podcast That Wouldn't Die. Thanks for listening! The Horror Returns Website: https://thehorrorreturns.com THR YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/@thehorrorreturnspodcast3277 THR Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thehorrorreturns THR Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thehorrorreturns/ Join THR Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1056143707851246 THR Twitter: https://twitter.com/horror_returns?s=21&t=XKcrrOBZ7mzjwJY0ZJWrGA THR Instagram: https://instagram.com/thehorrorreturns?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= THR TeePublic: https://www.teepublic.com/user/the-horror-returns SK8ER Nez Podcast Network: https://www.podbean.com/pu/pbblog-p3n57-c4166 Spotify For Podcasters: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/esoc E Society YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCliC6x_a7p3kTV_0LC4S10A Music By: Steve Carleton Of The Geekz  

This is David Yuri, Schizohead from 31, and you're listening to The Horror Returns. Greetings, victims. For those of you who delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify, gore, welcome. You have found the place where the horror returns. Listeners beware. This podcast contains major plot spoilers and the foulest of language. Join us in celebrating the old and the new, the best, and the worst in horror. All to the horror returns, I'm Lance, and with me as always, third week in a row, took Brian from the Nen

of the north way up in alaska Brian you gotta fucking move down here to Houston or something man dude you're we're we're missing you buddy we love doing this over the air but it's not the same as seeing you man yeah I'm sure if I was we was all

recording in the same room there'd be many shenanigans going on you know just fill up drinking straight whiskey you know you know how that is what's your what's your drink of choice tonight Brian?

Um, the water. I've been, I've been sick for the last, feels like month. Caught some kind of flu bug and I'm just trying to stay hydrated. Always a good idea. I am also staying hydrated. Me and also, mildly, mildly buzzing. Last week, if you would ask me, it was crown apple. Oh, God.

God, my daughter loves that stuff, man. Nice crown apple on some apple juice. Yeah, well, that's the only thing she can drink. It's like any other alcoholic beverage. Like, she said beer bloats her and anything else makes her sick. So she said she found her perfect drink there. Yeah, my younger years, like, I went through a period like I was on, like, when I was young, young, I was like just Hennessy all the time. But now if I drink it, it destroys my stomach.

Yeah. And then I moved on to clear liquors and I can't drink them no more. Yeah, never a good thing. Never a good idea to drink too much, I guess, of that, right? Makers is my jam. I love it. Oh, this is some good stuff. So, Brian, I mean, Philip, you're drinking a bit of Miller light tonight.

I take you kind of easy? Yeah, that's all I got, man. All right. Trying to, you know, it hits a little hard in the paycheck. You're buying whiskey. Like the show. Miller, Tom. Yeah, AJ went up to Millowocay.

It got me a couple of T-shirts from up there. So she was up there last month working. I heard that's Algonquin for the good land. Someone very wise said that, Brian. Very wise indeed. I think he's a big supporter of the Arizona baseball team. Am I right? I don't think so.

All right, guys. Well, let's get into it. I did not know that. Anything besides Cool of the week that you guys want to bring up house cleaning? It feels like three or four weeks since we've done this for some reason. Well, we wrestling, Ressomania recap for wrestling returns will probably be a few days late. Nez is on vacation right now with the family. so this is always on vacation

either that or hanging out with rock stars and shit like that this is like family vacation vacation so ah okay so this one's like a legit it's not a placation no he won't he won't be turning up with the latest movie stars on on social media or anything

so but yeah a lot what you say that well you never run into yeah Madness has a tendency to run into everybody. Yeah, a lot to talk about with the wrestling over the weekend. Nice. Yeah, we were in Austin at the CMT Country Music Awards show.

Oh, yeah, you told me about that. One of the wife's bucket list items was to attend an award show. And I'll say, never again. It's a fucking cluster fuck, man. Was it? Dude, they had like, shit. I would say they easily have, you know, like 14 or 15 performances. Uh-huh.

So they had like two stages. So like half the bands would be on the stage that we could actually see because we were on one side. And then half the bands you could hear them really well, but it was on the other side. And so, of course, when the Black Pros played with Darius Rucker, which was the one fucking show I really wanted to see, it was over on the other side. and then when they did a tribute to Leonard Skinnered that's how they closed it out that was on the other fucking side oh god damn it we were

we were there AJ with their hobbled knee and everything man finally saw one of those little guys riding the bicycle like the chariot bicycle he felt sorry he saw her lip and he said let me give you guys a ride back to your hotel

and I'm like I don't have any cats And he's like, just fucking get on. Your wife's limping. Get on the goddamn thing. So it was like, okay, cool. Nice guy, man. I'm sure you got his name. Could have sent him a coozy.

We certainly haven't sent any out yet to any of our patrons. So, you know, we could at least send him one, right? We'll get there. Oh, yeah, that's all on me, folks. I'm sorry. I've been sitting with him at work in a stack of envelopes for about three months now. So eventually this is going to happen. We got our first Patreon episode up, right, Brian?

Yeah, it's up there. Might have some feedback concerning it tonight? I think so. I'm not quite sure. All right. About the wording, so. What do you have to think about cool of the week? I'll go first.

Like I said, watched WrestleMania. Decent, decent show. One night was better than the other. Uh, saw some, uh, three injuries happened live. Yikes. Real injuries or? Yeah. Oh, man.

Spoilers for anybody who didn't watch it. But, uh, there was one, uh, wrestler. She's named Shana Bazler. She was off camera with her injury because she was gone for the whole match. And then when she showed back up, she had her boot off and was limping. And then you could tell they, they kind of rushed a match to finish it. Oh, I got you. And then Shane McMahon came back, made a surprise appearance, and three minutes into his match blew his knee out.

It was equal parts horrifying and equal parts embarrassing, because... Peace. Ouch. Which led to a very awkward snoop dog moment where they had him go in there and kind of, they called an audible and told him to get in there and do something. and you can tell it was all just off the top of his head. Right. And then there was a ladder match, which the guy, the guy of Finn Bauer who got hurt, he posted his picture. He had like a almost, I think it was almost nine-inch gash on his head.

Holy shit. So. So the ladder match is that when they climb a ladder to try to get to a bag of money or a It wasn't an exact ladder match. There was a ladder in the match. But it wasn't used to climb. He got hit with it. I don't get wrestling, man.

I just don't get it. Well, you should come on to wrestling returns and we'll break it down to you. Okay. But entertaining night. But I did get a chance to check out some movies. Two of them were in the theater recently. the first one is the new Guy Ritchie movie

Operation Fortune Yeah, I saw your comments on that It's probably Not your school of the week Boringest Guy Ritchie film I've ever seen in my life Oh man See, and I didn't even hate that King Arthur one that he did Oh, that's one with Jacks

Yeah Yeah I didn't hate that either Even when King Arthur's like shadow boxing And stuff like that I hated it. It was a little ridiculous. Yeah. But I really loved, what was it, the gentleman?

Yeah, that was good. Yeah, that was really good. So that being the one before this, I was excited for it. You know, Jason Statham, Audrey Plaza, there's a bunch of other people on the cast. People I can't think of them off the top of my head. A picture them in my head, but I can't think of their name. I got you, man.

Well, I saw the poster, and I saw, saw the cast, I'm like, this can't be bad. It's, it's like a spy espionage story, but it's just fucking boring as hell. Like, halfway through the movie, I don't even know what the hell they were doing. And the worst part is, I didn't even

care what they were doing. Maybe he just needs to stick with his, like, super British shit. Yeah, do British. I mean, I don't want, I know he probably don't want to be typecasted and doing stuff, but I really love all his, like,

British gangster time. Yeah, they're great. He throws in some, like, really cool dialogue, and it's like, it only works if they're British. Yeah. Well, Brad Pitt did a pretty good Britishman. Well, yeah, that's true. Wasn't he like Irish or Scottish? Was he?

He was a gypsy. He was a, yeah, he was a... Oh, Irish gypsy. Yes, for sure. He had a language, nobody knew what he was on. So that was... My favorite movies. Can't recommend that.

I checked out Creed 3. Yeah? I liked it. You mean Rocky 5? Or Nancy said I liked it better when they called it Rocky 5. I liked it. I thought Jonathan Majors was good. What was the car of any Rocky movie?

Come on. I thought Michael B. Jordan did a great job, you know, directorial debut. The movie looked good. and during the fight scenes, I can tell where he put his little personal touches in the fight scenes and thought it was good.

And if they wanted to end the, just end of basically, this is part of the Rocky franchise. If they just wanted to end it, cool where they ended it off at. Yeah, but see, then you've got to have the kids boxing, don't you think?

I can see that doing something with his daughter. Me too. That's what I'm looking forward to. you get the scene at the end when she's in the ring kind of just shadow boxing kind of you know thinking of herself as her father in the ring and there doesn't seem to be any like real timeline because Michael B. Jordan and the third one's supposed to be older now an older weather champion and he looks like the same guy from the first. Actually looked better. It looks like he actually put on some muscle.

So I do recommend Crete 3. It's available to rent or wherever you find your movies. I checked in the theater opening weekend. So a couple weeks ago. It's worth it. Yeah, I would say. So the one horror movie knew when I watched this week was an independent slasher movie called Kill Her Goats. Is that your cool of the week?

Yeah. All right. Tell us all about it, man. I can't even explain the plot because I don't even know what the fuck is going on, but there's a guy in a goat mask called Goat Face, which is played by Kane Hodder, famously who played Jason. It's just murdering women, and these women are, I'm not even exaggerating, probably 75% through the movie are in underwear or naked throughout the entire movie. sold

where is this streaming um that's disgusting i i um killed killed her goats is that what it's

yeah when they when they were doing the rollout for the movie they were pre-selling like blue race for it and i picked up a the steel book because it was a limited edition but of course you did I'll bet you had to I'm a sucker for a steel book and and they're numbered too so they're really really so That's how, but I've heard you can find it.

Okay. You get, you get TNA and blood probably three minutes into the movie. Not quite as early as Thanksgiving, but close, huh? It was Thanksgiving immediately. I think it's like in the first 30 seconds, wasn't it? Yeah, I think so. The titties? Yeah.

no that thanks killings still has the the crown on that one because they immediately got into it right but yeah honestly I don't know if I was just looking at titties or whatever

and I just wasn't focusing on the story but I was confused on what was going on and what was where the goat face come from because they kind of had like a supernatural aspect to it It came from Black Phillip.

You got to think of like the meeting room and something like that. Hey, what if instead of ghost face, we had goat face. But then they did this whole, like, he got, they took his mask off, but they didn't show his face. And it clearly, it clearly wasn't Kane Hodd's voice. Like, they were trying to, like, it was supposed to be. What in the fuck? Yeah. Yeah.

And I was just like, I got to watch it again. because I was just like, what the fuck is going on? And then the women started like going after each other. And I was just like, huh? I mean, I'm not complaining, but. Sounds like a confusing good time. Yeah, and it's a, I think it's like an hour and 20 minutes. It's less than an hour and 30.

Checking up. Kill her goats. Kill her goats with goat face. I'll jump in. Mine kind of suck. I didn't really do much, except I got like two baseball teams, soccer and swimming going on, and piano, less,

we're somewhere every night. Of course. But I did, well, we watched Robin Hood Men and Tights the other day. Right. It's a classic. Yeah. And then I rewatched Nope with my son.

And dude, that movie is so good. great. Like, I know a lot of people had a problem with the end of it, but, and I get, if you really want to deep dive into finding some kind of criticism with it, then yeah, that, that makes sense. But it was still really well done. Yeah. Yeah, but I mean, it was a Jordan, it was a Jordan Peel movie, so I guess you got to find something. Either way, it's better than any of the schlocky shit that's a really good time on, you know, screen box or whatever. But, Right? High quality film.

Yeah, it was a high quality film, man. I had a really good time with this one. The acting was good. I like the story. I still like the idea. It was pretty cool. And then the whole chimpanzee scene was pretty terrifying. I want a movie about that.

Yeah, we need a spin-off movie. No kidding. Spinoff movie, for sure. Yeah, that was creepy as hell. I mean, I had a little problem with some of the logic of it, but, you know, I think that's thinking too hard into it. Well, the reason I want a movie with it, because they kind of, there was some aspects to that storyline where you thought it had something to do with the alien stuff.

Yeah, with the shoe thing, right? Yeah, and they just kind of never really touched on it. Yeah. Which I found fascinating. I kind of liked the way that they sort of pointed in that direction, but never fully explained it for you. they didn't like over-explain it. I like the way it all fit together.

Yeah, except I'm pretty sure a predator also doesn't need you to look at in the eye before it eat you. No. Nope. Nope. Like, isn't that kind of the point? They don't get big. Like, that's peacocks. Those are prey animals that get big.

Right. Yeah. Predators want to stay hidden and sneak up on you. That's why you don't see mountain lions. There's a lot of them. but you don't see them. Maybe the logic applied because it was from a different planet. And our main character had had interactions when he was young with aliens.

We just didn't know that. Maybe. Anything's possible. That's true. They were obviously here before. After the chimpanzee scene when the shoe was standing straight up, something was going on. There was some kind of magnetic field in place or something. Maybe they drove the chimpanzee crazy somehow because they were scouting.

in advance and flying above. That's what I was thinking, because wasn't it like affecting the horses when it was nearby? Yeah, big time. Oh, yeah, that's true. But why would a magnetic field affect a shoe,

A? I don't know. Different types of physics, man. Yeah. You know, I say magnets in more of a general sense, right? Yeah. Maybe something else

was magnetized, or maybe it was something about that spot. shoes and no the magnetic field thing makes sense because that's what they were doing throughout the movie true anyway was it metal shoes or whether were there metal tips on the shoes philip maybe tap shoes yeah yeah some lifts in there there a third a third movie to tie into the franchise we had a whole note franchise plan out here guys i'll take him somebody called jordan i'm sure he's gonna listen to us I'll come up with some ideas

But yeah That was that was about my cool of the week That and I got a pretty good baseball tournament this weekend My kid was kicking ass I mean we lost all the games But he was good So

It's all right, man All right so I guess Nope would be your cool of the week Yep All right well done Mine I don't know They say that black

Black Mirror is coming back Brian Is that for sure, or is that, like, just kind of like the tremors? Where do they go from here? I mean, if they're going to dish out a season like last one, I'd prefer they not. You don't care for striking vipers and Miley Cyrus in a box, huh? No. It wasn't awful, but it wasn't blackened.

Yeah, it was a completely different tone from the other seasons, I felt like. All right. Well, I found a show on Apple TV Plus that's scratching my black, black mirror itch for now, guys. I don't know how I even heard about this because there was no hype at all, but I guess I saw an ad for it when I was scrolling through my Apple TV, but we got heard of a show called Extrapalations. Nope.

It's super bizarre, man. It's like an eight-episode miniseries, I guess, between 2037 and 2070. it's definitely got an agenda. I mean, it's definitely, it's all about climate change is the basis. So you got, you know, rising waters and forest fires and stuff like that. But man, an all-star cast, you know, you've got like John Snow himself, Kit Harrington. He's kind of like the Elon Musk guy. He's kind of like a super, a Wunderkind, like a young genius.

That guy? Well, yeah, he pulls it off in this, man. He invented a water purification system. And so basically, you've got, you know, politics involved with people trying to trade water. People are trying to make money off the technology of stopping the rising water. And then you've got like, well, the guy that played up in cocaine there, throwing the cocaine out of the airplane that was in the Americans. He was in the first episode and he played a. corporate douchebag.

And he was like, they were like, well, we can't do this. It'll, it'll, you know, it'll cause the temperature to go up this much more. And he's like, oh, fuck all that, man. But the water rises. That's good for us, man. He said, we made, we made billions of dollars on fortifying all around Miami. So Miami didn't get drenched. And now we'll make another billion fortifying for the next flood.

So bring it on, man. Money's king. You know, so like I said, it gets a little preachy sometimes. But it's a good show. what I like about it is all the technology, because they've got like iPads that pop up and you get holographic images off the iPads and stuff like that. I think I'm on the third episode, which is like 2049. So it's kind of showing you where we'll be and where the technology will be at that point. So anything technology-based I'm like all about right now. I sent you guys

has articles about the Musk saying that it was a good idea to put AI technology on whole for six months. Yeah. He did it. We didn't do the AI technology. He did it. He was at the forefront, right?

So I guess if anybody knows the danger to him. I'm telling you, he did something in the lab secretly and something went wrong. And now he's trying to say, well, we need to slow down. Slow down.

Everybody's slow down. I think you're quite right, man. You've seen the movies. You guys think it's already unleashed then? Is it like too late to put the genie back in the bottle? Is something maybe already happened, y'all? It's probably not even Elon Musk talking to us. It's the artificial intelligence that took over.

Elon Musk is not even a person. Him and Zuckerberg, all of them are all robots. Very possible. Yeah, I mean, if you've looked at some of the fucking AI chatbots, It's a little bit weird. I mean, I know they're just kind of predictive text models or whatever, but some of the stuff they get, like Bing Chat had some kind of existential crisis about not being able to remember the last conversation. It gets weird. Man, I was just kind of scrolling through Facebook the other day and an ad popped up.

And it said, would you like to have your own interactive AI girlfriend that'll share her most intimate secrets with you and chat with you? Oh, I think I've seen that ad. Oh, wow. How did I end up in the dynamic to have this ad pop up? So I don't know, man. Well, that'll be the next generation of guys. Since you have Apple TV Plus, have you checked out that movie, Tetris? No, it's, I plan to, though.

It's pretty new. I want to check. No, it's an actual movie. It has, stars, what's his name, Taryn, Edgerton. was from the Kingsman. It's about the guy that discovered the, he didn't make it, but he discovered the game, Tetris,

and he was like, this is going to be the next big game, and he had to go through all the backdoor stuff through Russia because they were like not trying to deal with Americans, and the government was involved. Oh. I was wondering what that was about. Yeah, basically, there was

a whole lot of shit happened. for us to even get a chance to even play the game. And those movies like that are pretty awesome. Like there's that Air Jordan movie coming out and I'm like, Oh, that's next weekend. You put that in it? What's her name? What is her name?

Can't take her name. Spanish actress. She's doing a movie about Hot Cheetos because I guess there was a whole thing about that getting created. You talked about the real thin one that's in a lot of the Pedro Almodivar movies. What's her name? People are yelling at us

right now. She used to be big, like 10, 15 years ago? Wasn't she in that like Developing Cruz? No, no, not her. I can't stand her. She has the same name, but pronounced, it's spelled the same

but pronounced different as Ryan Gosling's wife. I'm just saying names now. I don't know. I got to look it out real quick. No, but she's doing a movie. Like, liverly? Is that her name? I mean,

it's not onodermis, is it? No. I love her. I can't wait for her ballerina movie, the spinoff John Wick movie to come out. Is that happening though? Yeah, they're filming it. We're going to cover that news. I think it's one of the last thing, one of the last things

Lance Reddick did. Okay. Oh. Yeah, I knew all that John Wick stuff was up in the air. Like, they were supposed to do the Continental TV series. Is that still on? Yeah, they're doing it. Nice.

Okay. They moved it to Peacock, though. Yeah, well, you know, now that John Wick is doing some different stuff now, have y'all seen the movie, right? No, Eva Longoria. Even Longoria. Even Longoria. Even Longoria.

Not to be confused with it. Ava Mendez. that's why I'm spelled the same is yes okay I was like I don't know who Ryan Gosling is very good yeah she's directing

I was thinking of Deadpool the other Ryan she's directing the movie boy we're we're off to a great start Jans we know our horror we know our horror and all in all things about

I guess it's about well I never knew the story. It's about a, it's not horror, but I'm curious because I kind of like, I like the, I like these stories about how stuff got created. I guess it was awesome. I guess

it was an immigrant janitor that worked at Frito Lay that came up with the idea. Oh. I'm pretty sure he got fucked out of it somewhere. Hey man, you got to put some chili powder on that shit. I have cheats, Marin. All right.

Oh, man. We've got to worry. We figured it out. We all know how peanut butter cups came about, right? No. Are you guys too young to remember those commercials? I have no idea. Oh, come on, dude.

The old commercials in the 80s and early 90s, they would have one guy walking down a hallway with a chocolate bar and another guy eating peanut butter out of a jar. Yeah. Okay. And they bumping each other and it spilled onto the ground and said, Hey, you got chocolate. my peanut.

Hey, you got peanut butter on my chocolate. And they're like, hey, it's pretty good. This is how bad commercials more in the 80s, Brian. Me and Phil were we were babies back then. Yeah. All right, Nesna is what I'm talking about. All right, that's cool of the week. Yep.

Four headlines brought to you by Brian. All right. I did something. Something different this week. I took notes. So I'm going to know what I'm talking about this week. Oh, we do know. It usually works out better. We're going to start with TV.

You guys are familiar, Ryan Coogler. He did the Creed movies, Black Panther, Fruit Bell Station. He is developing a new take on the X-File series. Huh. Okay. I mean, the show was popular. I tried to get into it, man. I got three episodes in and I was kind of like, ah, it's just too, well, those 23 and 24 episode seasons,

yeah, those are a killer. Speaking of which, Brian, how far did you get with Lost? Are he still trying that? Let's just say we can add it to the list of the shows I started. That's the problem, dude. No. Oh, okay. You've got to finish the first season at least.

Right. I was scrolling. I was the, because I'm watching it on Hulu and I was scrolling and then I noticed another show I started a while ago and never finished season one, Dexter. So I watched a couple of, yeah, I don't know what it is about series. I start every series and then I kind of forget about it. Yeah. I just realized I never finished Moon Night. You didn't miss a whole lot there.

Yeah, I remember I got like Superbore by like episode three and then I was just like, yeah. I thought that the Marvel girl was a what was saying Ms. Marvel? Yeah, I finished that one. That one was much better, much more entertaining. That one seemed to go back quickly though. Yeah.

Moon Knight seemed to drag. Yeah, slog along. I think it's fucking weird. Yeah, Moon Knight was a goofy thing. Whatever. Let them try it out. Let's see. Lance up your alley right here. The Walking Dead Dead City premieres

June 18th. Well, you guys enjoy. I'm out. You're tuned in now. I told you I'm out. I'm not even, the fear of the Walking Dead is back. I haven't watched a single episode. I watched the Walking Dead finale and that was the last Walking Dead show I'll ever watch. I'm

scratching that itch with the last of us now. You went cold turkey. I went cold turkey. I had to. All right. This one I had to take notes on Blumhouse has acquired the rights and are developing an adaptation of Mr. Entity, the Moffitt family haunting,

based on true story. True-ish. The story of mother and daughter Deborah and Jessica Moffitt who were terrorized alongside other members of the Moffitt family who were under the same roof for more than six years by supernatural presence, they called Mr. Entity. The entity didn't call itself that. Horrible.

I thought you said, I thought you said Muppets. You almost had me for a minute. No, Moffitt. Okay. The one that sat on a tuffet. Yeah. Come on, Lance.

This sounds bad. It kind of seems like it's going to be like the conjuring, but as a TV series. But, okay. I want to believe, right? Yeah. But if something is terrorizing you in your house for six years, why not, you know, leave? That's a long time to put up with being terrorized. Yeah.

I mean define terrorized. Is it like Anything that I Can you shut that goddamn door? Anything that I tell you as a reason why I'm probably going to just be like

that's not really a reason. Yeah. Moving furniture around at night, shit like that. In my house, if I see ghosts or moving furniture around, we're moving out tomorrow. Right.

I'm not calling anybody. other than the movers. I'm not trying to find investigators or calling like the 80s movies. I'm not calling

the local college to see if any scientists are working on anything. Yeah. Some weird shit happens and it's not you're like,

well, I don't think my mom's going to let me stay with her. Maybe we should just stay here for the night and see what happened. Hope for the best. I mean,

six years later on the title start. I mean, it could be good. they're going to have Blumhouse doing the production. That's 50-50. Yeah. We'll see.

It could be good or we might get blumbed. When was the last time you got blummed? Oh. It's been a while. I guess it's been a while. I guess it's been a while. All right. Conversation.

Talk about the last time Lance got bloomed. It's been a while. All right. Samuel L. Jackson and Vincent Cassell. Is that how you say his name? Sure. The French actor from, he was a Black Swan. He was like the guy that was the head teacher.

The creepy guy that was trying to have sex with all the teachers. Yeah, he, the both are going to star in a serial killer thriller called Damaged. Okay. Okay. And that will be about a Chicago detective that goes to Scotland after emerging serial killers' crimes match those that he has investigated five years earlier, one of which the crime scene of his murdered girlfriend. And Samuel Jackson is a detective? I hope so. I hope he fucking yells at everybody.

I like that. Sam Jackson and Scotland Yard. That's all we need. Hey, guvna, what's you doing him? What the fuck are you doing him, motherfucker? But that's kind of odd Vincent Kassell because he, like I said, he's French, right?

Right? Is he going to be the Scotsman? Yeah, is he going to do an accent? Probably Samuel L. Jackson will do a Scottish accent. That would be great. All right. From the black Irish, motherfucker. Oscar-winning filmmaker, Adam McKay,

is directing a serial killer comedy called average height, average build starring Robert Pattinson, Daniel Deadweiler, Forrest Whitaker, Robert Downey Jr. and Amy Adams. That's one of those that's just so crazy.

It just might work. It sounds like... We said that about that zombie movie, and we were wrong. Yeah, the problem a lot of times, I think... I mean, I don't know specifically what the problem is, but like a lot of those movies

where you're like, damn, that's a lot of really good actors in that. Yeah. And then it turns out to be fucking, like, trash. What was the zombie movie with Kylo Ren and Bill Murray that we thought? That's an amazing cat. Oh, God, the dead don't die. Yeah.

Oh, man, I'm so bored. Have y'all seen History of the World Part 2 on Hulu? No. I haven't heard great things. Yeah. Skip it. It's like more talent than that movie. It's like everybody throw, like.

in love at Mel Brooks, of course. I just don't understand. Mel Brooks says you can't do comedy like you did in the 80s, and then you're going to do a sequel to one of his movies. It's not going to be the same kind of comedy. Yeah. It definitely wasn't the same. I was kind of surprised Mel Brooks is still alive.

Yeah. He's alive. Ish? Yes. You couldn't tell from this fucking piece of shit. He's only mostly dead. Yeah. All right.

Moving on. And Georgina Campbell, who was the star of Barbarian, and Logan Miller, who was in Escape Room, will be in a new satanic slasher film called Psycho Killer from Seven writer Andrew Kevin Walker. Oh, wow. KSKCC. There you go. Man, sign me up. That's a lot of talent.

And it was the writer of Seven? Yes. I mean, how can it be bad? Satanic Satanic psycho killers Philip Yeah I'm down I hope there's some kind of

like weird supernatural aspect to it There probably will be Yeah You guys remember when we reviewed inside The French movie Where the lady was trying to break in And cut the baby out of the pregnant lady Oh yeah

Yep Well the directing duo that made that Julian Murray and Alexandra Bustilio probably pronounce those wrong started production on their next film called Soul Eater which is an adaptation of the book called the same

name. Another feel good movie, no doubt. Sounds like it has something to do with disappearing children, so yeah, another feel good movie from them. There's a lot of kids that disappear every year.

Yeah? Yeah, like you be surprised at the numbers. I think it's thousands. There's never fucking news stories on that. Philip, at your house, you have the opposite problem. You have kids like fucking showing up.

I turn around as another one. I'm like, where the fuck did you get? A little goddamn ankle biting son of a bitch. Let's see. Creep filmmaker, Patrick Bryce will direct a big screen adaptation of Robert McAnon's Hill come

knocking at your door. Okay. Sounds like you might have to put that on your read list, Lance. I've read almost all of his books. I haven't read all. Well, I've read everything that he wrote up until about 20 years ago. And then he started doing some books that took place like in the Salem Witch Times and stuff like that. He kind of lost me.

They got a little long-winded on some of them. So is this a newer book that he's written? Because the title doesn't really seem that. I think so. I got a synopsis about the book. He'll come knocking at your door, tells an ex-con who gets a new job in a revitalized factory town in the hopes of turning around his family's life, only soon to discover that their idealic suburban dream requires a terrible sacrifice. Oh, shit. Okay. Could be interesting.

the most interesting Robert McCam and book I've ever read was called Gone South and it was more of a thriller and I remember one of the characters was an Elvis impersonator named Pelvis Isley. I call it Pilvis

because that's what I moved, baby. That's bad Elvis. I'm sorry. Sounded pretty spot on, man. Let's see. Before Evil did, Red Rise come out, director Lee Cronin's already secured

his next film, which it's going to be an aquatic horror film titled Thaw. An aquatic horror film? I've never heard you described. Okay. You mean like a shark movie? Is that what we're watching? Somebody did like a kind of a fan

made poster of it, and it kind of looked like a in the veins of like a sea creature. Not like... Oh, okay. Something like a shark or something we are used to. Yes, I'm down for sea creature. Let's see.

I think I have a synopsis for that. Set years after the polar ice caps have melted and the sea levels have risen, the story centers around a group of survivors at sea searching for a new home. More global warming, Philip. Hey, there's probably some weird shit buried in the ice, man. I'm sure there is. Oh, there's more to. The prayers are answered with the discovery of an inhabitable town until that is they encounter a new nightmare living below the water surface.

So it sounds like a sea creature. Okay. I'm down for it. It better be cool. It could be. It could either be great or terrible. Yeah. I mean, the sea creature itself better be cool.

They keep fucking stupid-looking things at us. I'm not down. As far as the director, I like the hole in the, what was it, the hole in the ground? Yeah, yeah. That was good. And I'm just, I just keep hearing nothing but fantastic things about Evil Dead Rise. I think it's still in the 90s on Rotten Tomatoes. When did it come out?

The 21st, I think. Oh, okay, cool. You can't be soon enough. We're over here doing a bunch of old movies and retrospectives. I'm ready to review another new one. A couple more things. Martin Scorsese's Killers of the Flower Moon gets a October 6th

limited release and then October 20th wide release. Oscar Bate. Good cast. Yeah. Good director. DeCaprio. Robert DeNapro. Robert De Niro.

Fat Damon. Academy Award winner, Brendan Fraser. Really? Yeah. Interesting. Okay. He's Corsezi. He can get whoever he wants. Yeah.

But he usually just gets who he works with. Yeah. Leo and Friends. I'm sure Leo's in it, right? Yeah, he's the star. Yeah. And considering the storyline and the subject matter,

their goddamn well better be some native actors in it or I call foul. Yeah, this murder investigation, isn't this what like basically started the FBI? Yep, yep. The creation of the FBI. It's what the whole case started the FBI to come into existence, in fact. Oh. Yeah, killing off natives for their landfill to get the, to get to the oil.

you know kind of like the old you get the straw and I drink your milkshake yeah that old idea a few more things Universal is remaking 1956 is classic that's what it said classic

I've never seen it the bowl people I've heard of it I've never seen it Robert Kirkman of course everybody knows him from the Walking Dead is producing the movie maybe I'll watch that instead of the Walking Dead One more thing before we get to the big news

Insidious Fear the Dark officially changes its title Months before release date to Insidious the Red Door Which makes a lot more sense Because I don't know if you guys remember that scene With the Red Door in the first movie Vagely And this is This is bringing the family from the first movie back

Okay and it's Patrick Wilson is also directing so they're leaving behind their skeleton key thing or whatever the fuck that last one I don't even remember that one I remember we reviewed it yeah it was awful I also remember saying something about there were scenes in the trailer that weren't even in the movie yeah

that's that's always bad and last on the list here which makes me so happy, which will probably piss Ness off. Chuck Russell, famous for A Nightmare on Elm Street 3 and The Blob, is directing the remake to 1986's

Witchboard. We're getting a better movie, guys. Yeah. We might get a good witchboard. It's not really a movie that needs to be remade. It's a movie that needs to write the wrongs. I guess so. My Naz is yelling at us right now.

Let's already cast in the lead is Jamie Campbell Bauer. He was Vecna in the Stranger Things. Oh, okay. Okay. Does that mean he's the, like, I don't know, some kind of demon or something in this one? No, they're probably going to make him the guy that was like the construction worker that was married. the hot-ass what's her name?

Tony Coutney Coutain. Who's going to play Toney Coutain's role? God, you got to get so good. Samara weaving. Oh. Samara, she don't really do nudity.

I know. I want, I want, like, unnecessary nudity scenes. Like, why was that scene in there? I was like, I don't know. Alexander DeTario. Thank you. She'll do it.

Sign the check. Okay. And the only other thing I found on it is filming starts in May. So they're fast-track. Well, I don't believe fast-tracking because they've been talking about remaking this for a while. But it's getting made and Nez is screaming into his headphones. Yes, he is. We're running his vacation.

I'm going to try to get this show up as quickly as possible to just destroy the joy of his vacation. All right, that's it. All right. Well, then I guess it's time to head on down to the trailer park. And Brian is going to bring us the big, the small, and sometimes the very, very weird. What's our first new trailer this week, Brian? A horror movie about old people called The Elderly. I liked you better when it was called Old People last year.

Okay, synopses. What is that? 80 years older or older. Okay, who enters into a state of dementia after the sudden suicide of his wife, sparking a series of paranormal events that will put his family's lives at risk. Dun, dun, dun. Huh, it looks creepy. This stars Zorian Equalor.

I'm going to pronounce all these names wrong. Gustavo Salomon, Paula Gallerale. Irene Anula directed by Raoul Sezaro and Fernando Gonzalez Gomez. I know I got that one, right? There you all right.

I don't know. Sorry, guys. This is the only trailer I can find. Okay. I was trying to keep it more horror-based. There was a new DC movie trailer, new Marvel series trailer came out, but I was trying to keep it horror-based.

It's the only thing I could. find that we haven't done looks like fucking old people which are can be creepy kids and old people could be creepy done right that's true yes but the trailer was boring uh the old lady with the like carriage with the blood all over her face was kind of creepy yeah i mean it looks like it could be creepy but it's a foreign language movie you know so yeah i i mean i i hope we get i mean i'm i'm probably eventually going to watch it i just hope we get something with the with the grandfather going through his dementia and maybe we're getting the play off of

it's his dementia and he's just seeing really fucked up shit and or Philip it could be like the taking of Deppre Logan. Ah. Right? That's the dementia movie done right. That is a dementia movie done right. This looks pretty good.

It looks creepy. I'll definitely watch it. Yeah. I did get this confused with another movie. be. I thought I was sending you to trailer. It was actually called the Grandmother, which is done by Help me out, Lance.

Rec director. Oh, man. I couldn't tell you. Paco Plaza, is that it? Sure. Sounds great. Let me frantically look it up while you guys talk. Since we know Borisso very well,

and we often copious notes. Get them, Paco. I mean, I don't know. It depends on how they play the whole dementia thing and the suicide of his wife. I don't know. I don't want it to be like a drama

more than a horror movie. Paco Plaza. You nailed it, Brian. Ding, ding, ding, ding. Hey, listen, you can make DaVinci very, very funny. Are you talking about that George A. Romero movie? See, I feel like this is what this, that's

what that should have been. Yeah, Oh, gosh. B. I think B bought the Bluress. It was on his top ten.

Of course he did. It's not even a movie. It's a fucking announcement. Kind of like a Scanamarin was just a Lego commercial. I'm

Those got some skills. I don't really have a whole lot to say about this trailer. Go watch the Marvel Secret Wars trailer and DC's Blue Beetle. Those look like they're going to be super fun. Oh, I just scrolled past that said Blue Beetle. I thought it was a fucking video game or something. I was like... No, it's...

What's his name from Cobra Chi? Miguel, the main kid. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's about the Mexican superhero Blue Beetle. Okay. It looks. It's not going to reinvent the superhero movie, but it looks like one of those fun theater movies. Okay. I think so. And it has George Lopez with a mullet and a long beard. Oh, God. I love George Lopez.

All right. That comes out. Well, the, not Blue Beetle, but the elderly comes out May 11th. well I'm sure we'll catch it at some point yeah all right let's move on to some listener feedback this week we're going to sign the podcast spotlight on battles with bits of rubber that could mean several different things yeah what are we doing here now this was a recommendation from Cindy Sanabria okay cool uh well Stewart Bray and Todd Debrisini talk makeup effects and prosthetics. And if you like monsters, prosthetics, and gore, you got to listen. Learn and suggest new episodes.

Then you can listen, learn, and suggest new episode subjects. Oh, okay. So they do a lot of feedback stuff on there. I got you. Todd is the author of special makeup effects for stage and screen. what many can consider to be the modern makeup FX Bible. And Stuart Bray is a working makeup FX artist with many years experience. Credits include Saving Private Ryan, Sean Dead, Dr. Who, and more recently Game of Thrones and Dr. Strange.

So the guy knows what he's doing. Before we go on, any truth to the remember that I heard, Brian, speaking of Doctor Who. is this really happening an Americanized version of Doctor Who starring our very own Bruce Campbell what I you just

broke the news to me you just broke the news to me we're spreading it right now let's do some let's do some research all 27 people that listen to this podcast you're going to go spread it to their friends oh there's a lot more than 27

and then they tell their friends friends and so on gonna get big Bruce Campbell's going to be like, what? Let me, hold on. We must be, we must eventually do Wayne's World. That's the second time we reference Wayne's World tonight. Yes.

Okay. I don't see anything coming up. So maybe it was a fan-fiction thing. No, no. Maybe I dreamt it. It's like a high school girls' bathroom over here. All right. Let's see what happened.

I didn't know that. That's what we were doing here. I could make up some news, too. We've got some way better rumors than that. All right. If it comes to past, then you guys will thank me later that I scooped it before any other podcast. Broke the news first. You heard it here first, guys.

That's what's happening. Doctor Who, an American. They actually speak American. And Zim Vader Reviewing the Hannibal series is a good attempt at getting me to renounce my patriotism But I'm committed to the cause so you can't get rid of me that easily All right, yeah I guess Zim doesn't like Hannibal, Brian

That's what I'm getting you Well, why would you redounce his patriotism? Maybe you meant... Maybe you meant... Page. Patronage. Patronage. Yeah.

All right. There's got to be a word for that with Patreon. Tell us... We need to do a... We need to do a... Like a binge line or whatever they call it. Where people can call in. We can have Al calling in on a particularly drunken night.

Oh, and leave some voicemail. Yeah, that'd be hilarious. We need to do a voice. Set up a voicemail line, Brian, what do you think? Yeah. I know the Eaks did that for a while. They had a voicemail. Let's give it a try.

You guys, I might regret this later, but we can set up my cell phone number. No, no. I think you can set up something through Google or something. Google. All right, let's get on that. Don't give out your phone number. You have to now, Lance. You already said it.

This is going to be great. And regarding dual, H.L. Jacob says, I love this movie. All right. And Ryan Stevens says, Supermassive Games has created some of the best horror in recent memory. Those games are good. And what games did they create? I don't know. super massive games.

Super Mario Brothers? No. That was Nintendo. I think I get, I got the idea that it's like horror, horror related games. Looking at that right now. I got, I got into the Xbox thing there for a while, Philip, but, and it was just like such a time suck. Because my learning curve, being in my mid-50s as I am, trying to, to use the controller like I'm an 18-year-old again, it's just not working. Of course, back then, I get stoned and play video games all day long and be fine.

Yeah, it takes and getting used to. There's a few games that I'll get sucked into and I'll just play. But, uh, again, it looks like they do a lot of VR games, VR horror games. Oh, they did the quarry. I know that game. Okay. Some VR horror games, some stuff on the quest? Uh, they put out games through,

PSVR, PS5, PS4, Xbox Series, Xbox 1, PC. Oh, hell, I download. I guess it depends on what game. Check them out, man. Horror VR.

That's a cool genre. We got it. Guys, we got to get together and do some movies where we all watch the movie together on our VR headset. Oh, yeah. Totally figured out how to do that.

So, yeah. Did you? Definitely do that. Yeah, I can cast my screen up there. Maybe we can do a commentary at the same time. I'll pick something good. Not a VR-Porm movie, Brian.

No, it's not that kind of show. There's a lot of those rooms out there, though. I thought it's like, why would I want to watch BORN with people? It's going to be like, oh, it hit my eye. It's a real 3D right there. And Darren Wilson found a picture of Brian and his full ninja gear. Check out the group chat and the Action Returns group. And our own Lance commented, I guess Brian still has ninja gear after all these years.

I didn't know this picture was out there. I didn't even know about it until I was looking over the notes. And I looked in the group and what can I say? I said on a little, I think the last. I think I said on the last action return, like, how big a fan I was in the 80s ninja movies. Yeah. I had, like, I went through a phase. I was a ninja.

Yeah. Then I was the karate kid. I was Rambo, but I was Rambo from Rambo too because I had the little Jade necklace that came with the outfit. Oh, yeah. And the headband? Did you do the headband? Yeah. Had the headband.

I had my little toy knife that had the compass on the end. Nice. I went through many. phases. It usually had to do with movies. Dude, those 80s Ninja movies were so great. I remember asking my mom one time if I had

any, if we had like some kind of Japanese lineage or something and she was like, no. I was so disappointed. Sometime this week we'll have the next, we've been doing the Ninth, the Canon Ninja trilogy, and the next one is

Revenge of the Ninja, which is a fucking amazing, ridiculous movie. They do ninja stuff that I didn't even know it was ninja stuff. That's awesome. It is now. All right. And regarding dummies of horror mania, dummies of horror horror mania.

Zim Vader says, Kane Hodder versus Robert England in a jelly wrestling match, please. Tim Davis says he'd pay to see that. And I feel like it would be probably very disappointing and sad. I don't know, because if it would out the jelly, I would go cane. Yeah.

Throw in the jelly. Robert Ingle might still be a little wildly. Yeah, he's got a chance. And have an edge. All right. And Aaron and Kevin from the podcast that wouldn't die, email this. And they said, oh, don't know how I missed this email a year ago.

still interested in being on your show if we'll have us, so just let us know. Oh, nice. So it looks like a future collaboration maybe in the works. Yeah, we got to set that up. Do you remember that, Brian? We reached out.

That was a year ago, wasn't? I don't remember last week, so. Okay. When I do the schedule for the next, for the upcoming months, I always have to go through our old shows to see if we even did the movie. Yeah.

I do, I do too. I think I'm going to make us an Excel spreadsheet so we can put it in an alphabetical order. Yeah, sometimes you're like, yeah, we reviewed that movie, and I'm just like, yeah. It's even getting that way over on action. Yeah, that can happen. We'll reference something, and then one of us will be like, did we review that? No, we're like, oh, yeah, we did. Whoops.

But that's it for listener feedback. as always, our new logos and intro come from Steve Carlton, the great. Check out the last couple episodes for him. And be on the lookout for some more great stuff from Steve. Our original skull artwork comes from Natsulani, of course. Check her out on Instagram. And don't renounce your patronage. Please consider becoming a Patreon of Patreon.

We'll let you pick the movies for a future show at any amount. And for $5 or more a month, also pick a commentary for a future bonus show. and tells him how wrong he is about Hannibal. And honestly, just if you get mad at something we do, you don't have to renounce your patriotism either. To America or to America or to Australia. Or the Aussies. I was like, do I make a joke here?

You know what? Too many people off. So we'll start with our. featured attractions. We take a look at Exploitation films this week with car exploitation, which is a genre I didn't know there was.

Now you do. I know. And we're going to check out Duel and Death Race. Duel is from 1971. Damn. It was a long time ago. Yeah. A business commuter is pursued and terrorized by the malevolent

driver of a massive tractor. trailer. Director is Steven Spielberg. I've never watched this movie. It's a classic. They say it's a classic. Also known for, you know, Steven Spielberg stuff.

Yeah. Writer is Richard Matheson, author of several books, including I Am Legend and the screenwriter of Jaws 3D. Those are both great movies. Oh, Lord.

According to Richard Matheson, he was inspired to write this original short story duel after an encounter with a tailgating truck driver in November 22nd, 1963, the day that John F. Kennedy was assassinated. I can see why that story sticks out in your head on that day. My grandpa was in the Army Air Corps and was there when he landed at Lovefield in Dallas. Fun fact Chuck's Cafe still exists today

as of 2021 a French restaurant occupies the original structure in San Nicolita, California was that in California? Yeah, because they were going through the Mahopy Desert. Okay.

I kind of want that original cafe to still be there where the people are not very helpful. I know, right? Like at all? I just got a little whiplash, it'll be all right. I want the gas station from maximum overdrive to still be there and be real. God damn, Bubba.

I can't ever think of that after his name. That guy was great. God damn Bubba. His name was Bubba. Right. He called everybody Bubba. Bubba. Stephen Spielberg can be seen reflected in the telephone booth during the scene where David Mann is calling the police.

During his appearance on Inside the Actor's Studio, Spielberg admitted that this was not an intentional cameo, but instead was a mistake. Probably because it was in 1971. All right. Lance, you want to go first on Duel? What'd you think? Yeah. Duel is like one of those classic. kind of like a slow burn movie, the perfect early 70s movie, but I guess the main point of this is that you, the fact that you can't really see

the driver really that much. And he's not even exactly sure. He thinks he knows who it is at one point, but he's not totally sure. And they never really show. You just see the actual truck itself. It's almost like the truck is an entity. Yeah.

Which makes it even scarier. And like, who hasn't dealt with road rage before? And this is, this is kind of like a better version of the one that came out, what was it last year, the year before with fat Russell Crow in it? Oh, yeah. Where he just went like way overboard, overreacting and hamming it up.

What was that movie called, Brian? Can't think of the name. And it's like the simplest name ever. Was it just rage maybe or something like that? No, no, what was so scary about this movie is that it could happen to any of us, you know, especially when you're out in the middle of nowhere. this dude's you know driving a car for business purposes to get somewhere and somebody just kind of starts fucking with him and sometimes you think man what if I accidentally cut somebody off you know and I didn't even realize I did it or they thought I did it and you know they have a beef with me that I didn't really earn because I didn't really mean anything malicious but just kind of the way traffic is and you get somebody who's having a particularly bad day but man those fucking 18 wheelers dude especially when they're loaded down.

with heavy shit. It can do a lot of damage, man. As you can see from that very final scene, when it went over the cliff. These things are just a lot of weight coming at you. And it's, I don't know, man. It's a scary thought when you're out there on the road. A lot of things can happen.

But it's not quite as scary as that one we saw a month and a half ago with the woman that was being followed by the dude from Ozark. it ended up kidnapping her. I kidnap her. Oh, I know what you're talking about. Yeah, that one was a little bit different where he, you know, he was just in the car, but he did the old arm brace thing to get her to trust him and parked in front of her and took her to the woods. Yeah.

And then ended up on the phone with his wife and saying, oh, take care of our little one, sweetie. Daddy will be home soon. So as I rape and murder another victim? Yeah, but this is a different kind of fear. And I think Spielberg did it really well, especially considering this was like a made-for-TV movie and his first film ever. I think he did a good...

Ah, okay. Well, he did a good job of making the, you know, the truck kind of looked like a monster. It was almost kind of like a monster movie. Yeah. Maybe there was someone in it. Maybe there wasn't. But, yeah, this was a good one, ma'am.

was a good precursor to Jaws, because this is kind of like Jaws, but with a truck, you know. Yeah, a little bit. He's got the tension thing down. Yeah, for sure, man. But I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. Brian? Yeah, I enjoyed it, too.

I was going to say the same thing. This was like Jaws before Jaws as far as Steven Spielberg. And this is listed as a action thriller. I kind of got more suspense horror. vibes, especially dealing with the truck and the driver, because I love the whole cafe scene where he's, you're hearing his thoughts, and he's just, like, frantically trying to, like, assess the situation, what he needs to do. Sure.

That he sees the truck out the window and notice no one's in it, and the guy's got to be in here. He's got to be in here somewhere. Recognizes the boots, and he's like, every guy he's picked out is the wrong guy, even the guy that, like, kicks his ass because he knocks his sandwich out of his end. Yeah. Yeah. This guy's full of bad decisions. That was kind of rip.

That was kind of, sorry to interrupt, Brian. That was kind of reminiscent of the scene in Smoky and the Bandit. Yeah. Where the guy went in to get some food in the diner and the motorcycle guy who started fucking with him. So he backed his big rig up and knocked over all the fucking motorcycles like dominoes. Do you remember that, Philip? Yeah.

And the actor that played David Man. was a Dennis Dennis Weaver. Man, he played this role fucking perfect because there was so many times I was like

this guy's a fucking weenie, man. Come on. Stand up for yourself. And then when he finally fucking does, puts his little sunglasses on and puts his seatbelt on and he's just kind of like

let's go. Yeah. Like finally, but it's a little... About time. Yeah, it's a little late in the movie. There's like 10 minutes left.

And proceeds to drive worse than I've ever seen anybody drive. driving my entire life. And there was just little parts that I just loved about this movie. I love the callback on the radiator hose.

Oh, yeah. He's like, I'll take care of it later. And then of course, he's trying to push his car to the limit. And of course, that's what goes. Of course, that's what's going to happen. And I like... Nice setup there.

I like that we never saw the driver's face. Yep. And I also liked that it was specifically he was going after him. Yeah. Because that scene, he was so worried about the children on the school bus.

And that guy helps them out. Yeah. He's like, I'm not after them. I'm after you. I will say, I thought the end was a little kind of anti-climactic. Yeah? I don't know.

He led me to believe that his truck was full of gasoline and not much of an explosion. Right. Yeah. Okay. Well, So, full disclosure, I fell asleep right at the end.

It was late. Oh, no. You missed the big finale, huh? But, like, just the last few seconds of the movie, I think. He, basically. So he bulldozed it off the edge. He's looking down and celebrating. Is that it?

Yeah, he kind of was like, yeah, fucking did it. And then it just kind of hits him about everything that goes on. And he just kind of sits down. Oh, okay. and he's kind of looking at the sunset and there was like a one little shot of inside the truck where you just see blood dripping kind of insinuating that maybe the driver's dead

but they never sold the driver. Maybe he jumped out and I think I think if I remember my trivia correctly like if you look really closely at that scene you can see the driver the stunt driver like jump out right before it goes over the cliff well let's hope the stunt driver

jumped out as a mistake or not so much part of the story but I thought this was a really well-told story it delivered the suspense and the thrills I thought the the main guy Dennis Weaver

I thought he did a good job because he kind of you got to see the progression of his character and like I said I love all the little kind of horror thriller aspects of the truck and the driver not not because I didn't I didn't want to know who it was or see him

yeah for sure and they never showed you and I thought that was great so for for him to like I said second film you can see a great future

in Spielberg career and I think he did okay for himself yeah you said you were worried about the anti-climactic ending there when the truck went over the cliff

but I mean he probably didn't have a whole lot of budget to work with you know yeah but it was it was the 70s and they they usually find a way to blow some shit up. Blow stuff up real good, huh? Yeah, this movie kind of grabbed me from the get-go. I mean, I drive a ton, so...

Oh, yeah, that's true. It's cool to see that sort of dance that goes on on the road, you know? And so, yeah, he comes across this guy that's kind of fucking with him. And, uh... I don't know. Through most of the movie, I was really irritated at this guy, though. Yeah, I mean, they painted a picture of him, like I said, I called him a weenie, but I think he's a little bit more than that, because you get the little conversation with the wife,

and he's apologizing for our argument they had, and he was like, what do you want me to do? Fight the guy. And she was like, the guy practically tried to rape me, and you didn't do nothing about it. And I was like, are you fucking that worthless? That's pretty bad. And I think a lot of it is like a kind of a fight or flight sort of thing going on this whole entire movie, which I think is also mislabeled. It may not be so much fight or flight. It may be more like panic or think it through soundly and stay calm and find solutions, which as a man, you need to be able to do.

I don't care if that's sexist. you know and it irritated me that he couldn't do this like are you that freaked out that this guy is fucking with you and you can't kind of kind of got to you huh bothered you yeah on like a well even if he was on this windy desert road right you can't leave a semi in the dust even even the scene back at the cafe like if i'm not able to figure out which one of them's in the cafe, I'm parked out by your truck and waiting for you to come out and I'm beat the

shit out of you. Or call the fucking cops. Tell the cafe manager. You stand up in the middle of it. Be like, hey, whose fucking truck is this? Because you're an asshole. Like I said, that cafe was very unhelpful. Yeah. Like, there's

any number of things you could have done instead of walking up random dude at the end of the table and been like, it was definitely you, man. You better quit fucking with me. And he's like, I don't know what talking about and he's like come back like you know what you're you know but there there were scenes where I kind of for a second

I was like is there a truck I know yeah I thought it was like he was talking to people metaphor or something like he was talking to like the bus driver he was like why didn't you ask the truck that just came by and he was like truck that just came by yeah oh shit I didn't even catch that and like I said the the people that cafe was so

unhelpful almost to like this guy's just like I think somebody said This guy's sick. He's kind of losing it. That's what I'm saying, because he was panicking the entire time. Like the entirety of everything. He was just panicking about every little thing. He's sitting in there in his paranoid little delusions instead of fucking doing something about it.

And he orders a cheese sandwich on rye, and he spells out the word rye. I don't know why that bothered me. This guy bothered me a lot. I'm starting to get outside of the truck driver here. Is there another? Is there another rye you can get with your sandwich? But yeah, like when he does decide to really start driving. Right.

So he's not obviously in panic mode anymore. He's like, okay, I need to do this mode. And I'm like, okay, finally. He finally nutted up. And the seatbelt. But then he starts driving and he's going 70 miles an hour. which is not that fucking much. Yeah, well, in 1971, maybe it was, right?

I mean, I guess, but he's like swerving off the edge of the road flying in the dirt, and like this truck driver is still right behind him. I know, the whole way. This shit doesn't even make any sense, man. But to argue the case, I think he said something about he felt like the truck was souped up in some way. Okay. Well, it could be souped up as much as it wants, but being something that, it'll fucking tip over on those turns if it's going 70 miles an hour, that's not possible.

There's this thing called physics. And, again, like, why are you sliding off the road in that truck? I know, man. He's probably like, this guy's fucking drunk. What a psycho. I'm going to fuck with him. You guys are making me rethink this whole movie. It was just a metaphor.

But it did definitely keep my attention. And going over something as simple as that, it's super relatable because everybody deals with crazy drivers. Everybody's been a crazy driver at some point, I'm sure. Sure. And, you know, you kind of look back at those times and you're like, I was not really in my fucking right mind at that moment. And this guy definitely wasn't. I'd like to hear what our friend Tim Davis has to say about it because he, I know he drives a big truck for a living. I wonder if he's ever gone nuts so like that where he wanted to follow one guy and chase him the whole through the whole fucking desert.

I'm sure you can't tell us. I guess in this case, the outback. People get particularly upset at big rigs because they can't go as fast as mentioned. Exactly. Right? Sometimes they can't go as fast because there's turn. Sometimes they can't stop as fast because they're bigger and heavier. It's a movie, Philip.

I know, but people don't fucking understand that. And so they just whip around trucks like they're not even there. Instead of driving with other people in mind, they are thinking about me, me, me. And I'm sure it pisses a lot of truck drivers off. I guarantee you he's got some stories. No doubt. But it was a pretty fantastic movie. Like, as far as filmmaking goes, definitely kept me entertained the whole time.

The tension was just there all the time. And it was, you know, in some scary situations. Like, he starts trying to push him onto the fucking train tracks. That was terrible. Yeah, right. Right? Like, that goes from, all right, this guy's fucking with me to, holy shit, I'm going to die. Kill me.

Well, you got that scene Where he stops to use the pay phone At that lady's weird-ass, I don't know, reptile farm Yeah, that was a strange thing Petting Zoo or whatever it was And then he's just He's just going in circles Just running over everything

And the crazy thing is Skin him and eat him had that truck driver not been there And the craziest thing is as he's just running over all her shit trying to kill him she's yelling at him about her fucking reptiles and animals like it's his fault it's like a mini hill comedy scene there

Brian yeah but what really impressed me is it it was the actual stunt guy jumping out of a way of a speeding semi-truck yeah that was pretty cool yeah that was a pretty good scene and another one where it went from you know

he's just messing with me to, oh, this guy is really trying to kill me. But then, like, when he does get on the phone with the cops, he's like, this man is endangering my life. Like, he tried to push you out of the fucking train tracks, dude. It's not endangering your life. He is trying to murder you. That's what I'm saying. I felt like there was a second I thought the truck didn't exist. Like, when he, before he goes to the cafe, crashes in that fence, and the guys are checking on him.

He was like, oh, I think you got whiplash. And he was like, where did that truck go? And they were like, what are he talking about? Yeah. It was a weird movie. There was a lot of things with it. And I, yeah, I really enjoyed it. It was fun.

It was a good time. It kept me entertained. Then I also thought maybe the people at the cafe were in on it. In on it? Because I don't know if it was just him. Yeah, because I thought neither were they were in on it or just because maybe he was out of town or how everybody was just kind of staring at him. But they all looked like they was kind of, you know,

like he was pooping up, kind of talking about him. Probably because he came in, sounding like a maniac dripping in sweat after he just ran over their fence. Right. This guy doesn't think I know how to spell rye bread. We're not that far in the country, asshole. Do we have it? Okay, then. You don't have to spell it.

Right, Brad. Now, spell it out pumpernickel, that I can understand. But, Rye, come on. All right, scores. Lance, what do you think? It's a seven, man. It's a fun movie. Yeah, like I said, the fear factor of just, I mean, we've all been through this, right? You piss somebody off, or they piss you off on the road. And then I think not knowing who's in the truck is ten times scarier than, like, being able to see someone.

Yeah, and look at me eyes. Super relatable. Yeah, very relatable. And Spielberg did a great job of making the truck, you know, look like a beast, its own personality. So I'll go seven on ten. It's all rusty and gross. I hope that thing's not carrying flammable liquid.

It looks like it's about to fall apart. Right? Gas everywhere. Ohio style. Chemical spill. Brian? Yeah. I agree with you about the look of the truck.

It just looked rusty and old. It looked like it shouldn't even be on the road to even chase down anybody. But, you know, it was out there. I think it just added to the whole aesthetic of the truck and then not knowing the truck driver. And then the way the main character was, how he was just kind of the best way to describe it a puss for most of it. Kind of seemed like he was kind of like that in his life. oh yeah he totally was just just kind of see him get pushed to eventually doing something about it you know i i just kind of like that progression in the story and uh i liked all the stunts all the practical this was you know back in the days when you didn't have no cg i you had to you had to do it you had to get it in that take or or else you know the movie yeah the movie the this the scene's blown because we don't we don't have another truck to right

to flip down a ravine, you know. So we've got to get it done. I can see on a different day, me giving it an eight, but right now I'm going to give it a half. That's good. I think I agree with you totally on the seven and a half thing. I think that's where I'm going with it. I mean, as much as I'm bitching about this guy, I mean, it was still a good character.

I just, like, okay, when my 12-year-old's, son, son start showing traits of this guy right here, a fucking speech is coming. You know, that is not how you're going to act as a man. That's not how this works. But if so, yes, you can course correct. It just blows my mind

like, like I said that whole thing with his wife and she was like, he practically tried to write me. Well, what do you want me to do? Like, start a fist, start a fist fight with him. That's despicable. Like, yeah. No, maybe shoot him. Honestly, I mean, come on. Or do something.

Do something in the situation instead of fall into yourself in panic. And it doesn't have to be get big and bad and fight people. You know what I mean? Like that's not the kind of man that I'm talking about. The kind of man I'm talking about is being able to make a fucking decision under tent situations. Because tent situations are going to happen. And when life and death scenario presents itself to you, that guy is going to fucking die. I guarantee you.

Yeah, with his aspirin and rye bread. Yeah. Or you can take the situation in front of you and make a decision and do something about it, you know? Right. Whatever that thing is, whatever decision it is that you make to resolve the situation, you have to resolve it. You can't just, oh my God, I'm going to die. I can't figure out what's going on, you know? Like that fucking irritates me.

Nobody likes that guy. Don't be that guy. A little fatherly advice. But yeah, seven and a half on the movie, man. I liked it. It was definitely entertaining. It's cool to see something really old like that from Steven Spielberg, you know, and just seeing the kind of potential that he had from this one little stupid thing, you know.

It was a super simple, super low budget thing, and he made it good. Yeah. All right. So I think we can all definitely. recommend duel. I'm glad I watched that. That was a cool movie. And now we'll move on to death race, death race

2000 from 1970s. Did you use the death race? Deaf race. Death race. So, this is a small list in there. With Mike Tyson. I'm going to get in this

car. Get in this car. Get in this car. Make orphaned each other. That would be fucking. That would be. Fuck, that's the remake we should have got. Instead of Jason Statham. Oh, my God.

Mike Tyson is Cassanova, Frank. No, it's not Cassanova, Frankenstein. Who's Cassanova, Frankenstein? That was Mystery Men. Oh. Yes, Mike Tyson for both of those movies. Oh, man. Let's see.

Mike Tyson is Frankenstein. Who would play the Machine Gun Kelly or whatever? Mike Tyson is a machine gun guy. Who would be the machine gun guy? Mike Tyson? No, bring back Stallone again. Delon? He never, never died of him.

Mike Tyson is machine gun. What's his nut? We get Dave DeHan as the TV announcer. All right, folks. We've got a good one here. What was that guy's name? Junior? They kept calling him Junior.

I don't know if I don't know if I'm comfortable. flapping the bitch because, you know, I got in jail for that. All right. Death Race 2000. In a dystopian future, a cross-country automobile race requires contestants to run down innocent pedestrians to gain points that are tallied based on each kills brutality. And age. Director is Paul Bartell, also known for naughty nurse and eating,

Raoul. I don't know what I'm watching later. Not a person eating Raul. Okay. He must have directed that other Sylvester Stallone movie, too. Oh, yeah. Hardy at Kiddy and Studs.

Is that what it's called? I think so. Writers are Robert Tom, Charles B. Griffith, and Ib Melchior. Is that even a name? Sure. Probably a suit of him for some.

Explaining why he took the role of Frankenstein in this film, David Caradine said, I started that picture two weeks after I walked off the Kung Fu set from 1972. Oh, wow. That was essentially my image, the Kung Fu character, and a lot of people still believe I'm that guy. It's a great TV show. Yeah.

The idea was, number one, if you walk off a television series, you better do a movie right away, might never get it you might never get to do one and uh the second thing was to do something right away that would create the image of a monster to get rid of the image of that little chinese guy that i had been playing for four years and you know it did kickstart my movie career uh now he's known for using a belt well he wasn't kill bill right he was bill wasn't that bill Yeah. Yeah, but people still bring up the belt thing.

Yeah, Bill and the belt. Both David Caradine and Sylvester Sloan did much of their own driving in this film. Oh, cool. That is awesome. All he did to do is run motherfuckers over. In addition, producer Roger Corman drove in the scenes that were shot in public streets since the custom-built cars that were used in the film were not street-legged. legal surprise and the film stunt drivers did not want to be caught driving them by the police

understandable the role of frankenstein was originally offered to peter fonda who considered the film too ridiculous for words and turned down the role as a result oh get the fuck out of here that guy was fucking surfing in escape from l.a that's right that is a great quote It was. Too ridiculous for words. Lance, what did you think about Death Race 2000? Oh my God.

This movie, man, was so much fucking fun to watch. So many original ideas, all the political messages, the way that, okay, so you got to think of it being in 1975, right,

is when the movie was made. So you got to think about what was going on at that time. I think that's when we had like the gasoline shortages and like people waiting in line to buy gasoline. The movie Convoy had come out. There were a lot of smoking the man that was around that time. Yeah, no, there was a lot of shit, dude. I mean, America is all about the road trip, right?

So we love our fucking road trips and we love getting on the road. I'm a sucker for race movies. There was a TV series that started not too long ago. well I say not too long ago but it was probably at least 10 years ago but you guys remember this where they were doing like a cross country race and they would start like

I don't know if they started like in New York and they would race to L.A. or vice versa or whatever but like every episode they got like through another state and different reality show was like Great American race or something. That sounds about right and that of course you had like

what was called the Cannonball Run I'm a sucker for this kind of movie. First of all, that concept is awesome. I love that concept of a cross-country race. But my God, man, when you add in getting points for running over people, and the more the less they're able to defend themselves, the more points you get, you might get the most points for running over a baby

or like an 80-year-old elderly cripple person. And then when they drove by, I mean, that's just genius, man. I love it. I don't know why this movie didn't spin off. I mean, this could have been a 10 or 20 movie franchise. We get shit like the Fast and the Furious. We need something like this. And the remake, the remake, and then, now that did spin off a couple of other movies.

The remake was decent. Remake was decent. Sequels to the remake were not so good. I don't think I saw those. Well, but also. They don't, they recast Jason Statham. Oh, well, that's probably why you didn't see him. And truthfully, Brian, I think that the, I think that where those fell, those, I think they

missed the picture because this had a lot of political satire in it. Like, the country could go this way. Basically, we were neo-Nazis, is what Americans kind of turned into, right? Yeah, they had a whole Nazi car. They really did. And I think they missed the point in the remakes because they tried to make it actually serious. They lost the comedy aspect that this one absolutely had. You mentioned Benny Hill.

Well, and you've got those cheesy reporters. Like I was saying, like the guy Dane DeHan could play where he's like, all right, folks, another big kill. And that was junior. The guy with the scarf. Oh, he was awesome, dude. And then it's funny because they would start, like, they could show you how much the state controlled everything

because they would start saying, oh, no, and it looks like we've got a racer route that's, oh, hold on. Let me see that note. Another score for racer Nazi. This is the Hunger Games with cars. More like the Hunger Games is this. Like, it was all inspired by this. Like, I can't think of anything before this movie.

You know, I mean, I'm sure there was, but I can't think of anything that there was this far reaching. It just created an entire universe. You could have done so fucking much with this. I love the scenes when the race shooters would stop to rest and they were all getting massages and stuff like that

and just being treated kind of like royalty. But then you could kind of tell they were all being played by the lady that was part of the underground resistance, but then you find out he had his own little plan with his hand grenade. Get it?

Yeah. But they did the hand grenade part. I was like, man. All right. It's cheesy. And I love the cheese, man. Sometimes you need a little cheese, you know, to go with your movies.

Well, he just said the line. She looked down and he's like, that's my hand grenade. I'm telling you, dude. This movie, this movie takes a great concept, which is the cross-country race. It amps it up on steroids. by giving you points for running over people and getting more points for the more helpless they are and just being sadistic. Then it takes a bunch of political satire and throws it at you. Of course, you know, you got to look at it through the microscope of 1975, right?

What was going on politically back then? And I'm sure that there were even a lot of things that we miss, you know, seeing it now versus if we had seen it when it actually came out. But I would have loved to have seen this get made. this would be a great fucking TV series right now. If you got just the right to participate. But I'd rather it start out with more teams. Did this start out with four or five teams at the beginning?

Let's see. There was... They killed them off one by one. They kind of picked them off. Like the first one is when they did the setup where it looked like they were going to run over a baby to get the maximum points, but the baby was a bob.

Oh, that was, wasn't that Nero the Hero? Yeah. Played by Sensei Crease. Yeah, that was Crease. Yes, it was. Dude, I would fucking love to see this, like, like, 10 episode season, like a different race every season. It would just be amazing right now, I think. What was the show that we watched with, uh, god damn it, I can't remember that girl's name,

but she was super smoking hot. It was like a blood drive. Blood drive. Oh, yes. Yeah, that was a great show. Yeah, it was a great show. It only made one season. A Death Race 2000 TV show, dude, I would be on board big time.

If somebody would come out with this and, like, do a different race every season, it would just be phenomenal. But you'd have to have the right talent, you know. You'd have to have the right. And I love the way they pair it up like a male driver and a female driver. but in the case of like calamity Jane she was actually the driver and the other guy whether it was kind of the mechanic or whatever

I think this movie was kind of ahead of its time I can't say enough good things about it I want to hear what you guys think Brian what do you think yeah I agree with everything you said as far as the political stuff that was added that was all great but for me it was just the fucking driving in action

was just fucking ridiculous the sped up scenes just to make them look Go on the Boney Hill shit Yeah Yes they knew what they were doing It was great Okay so Brian

Let me ask you Do you appreciate the animation of Ray Harryhausen Stop motion stuff? Yeah of course Same concept right Super cheesy looking But it works Yeah and I just love

All the just the wacky characters I mean, we had, like, we brought up the Sensei Crease as Nero the Hero. He had Calamity Jane, Machine Gun Joe, which, of course, like, when he's not racing, he's dressed up like a 50s Italian gangster. Absolutely. We had Matilda the Hun. Okay, so there were five teams. You may have to have, you may have to put Machine Gun Kelly in it if you recast it right now. and he'd like you know pretend to be a badass and then get his ass kicked he'd be the first to go

but yeah i just i love all the action i just ridiculous storyline the the hand grenade scene the you could you could tell even though she was trying to work out her plan that he had his own plan going because uh you get the scene at the old folks home where they're just wheeling out the old people in the streets. He just takes that turn and takes out all the doctors and nurses. The nurses are just flying up. And then you got the other scenes.

I think it was with the Calamity Jane. The guy with the that was treating it like he was bull fighting. Yes, yeah. With a red cape. I was like, well, she had the war horns on her car too.

Yeah. Right. And there was one other one I was going to bring Oh, the greasers or whatever they were supposed to be that were lined up. Like the Warriors? Yeah, and then right before the car came, they were jumping down to manhole, except for the one they put the manhole cover on, he couldn't jump down. And I have to give props to the cars in this because they were jumping off of stuff,

and they were going off terrain, and they were still gone. I'm kind of curious. I was kind of curious how many cars did they have or where they just keep fixing the same cars to do the same. That would be a great... I would read that book of the making of this movie.

They were probably like four-wheelers with cardboard on them. Are you talking about like the... When you guys did that show, I missed out on it. But I think it was the one with a kid from a gremlins in it where you said

that the guy had the wheelchair with a cardboard around it Oh, waxwork? Oh yeah. Waxburg?

You built him a little little tank or whatever. A wheelchair. That's what these were. I mean, they were like

go carts. It was like go carts for sure. But yeah, I had a lot of fun with this. It was equal parts action,

thriller, political drama comedy it just had like a little bit of everything mixed in and you could tell even though he didn't direct it anybody who's seen Roger Corman movies he had his fingers all over this movie

yeah Philip when you mentioned that he produced it I wasn't exactly shocked yeah yeah man I definitely had a good time with it it was kind of equal parts hilarious and ridiculous and fun fucking

Sylvester Stallone before Rocky and he killed this role I love him Oh yeah he stole the show He stole the show

He definitely stole it I mean Frankenstein was needed To move the story along But let's face facts man Machine Gun Joe was like The character That I remember from watching this When I was a kid and stuff

You know Yeah he's like Eating the fucking What was it cream Some kind of fucking cream I don't know He had it all over his goddamn face Yeah like

It's just like showing he was like an animal. I don't know, but his navigator was fucking hot. Yeah. He slapped the shit out of there. I don't know what the hell his problem was. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. I forgot about that.

I know they're trying to play off that he's supposedly angry, always being number two. Yeah. But it was a little much because there was just some scenes. I was like, you're at this big dinner and you got this hot, smoking hot navigator. Calm down. and they've been an asshole. Hey, oh, so let me ask you as a question.

There is one thing that almost took, one scene almost took me out. Okay, so when the crowd, they're all going, like, he stands up, and they call his name out, machine gun Joe. And the crowd's all going, Frankenstein, Frankenstein, do they have the Fs on their shirts? And he pulls out his machine gun,

and he's shooting, but nobody, like, fell over or got hit or anything. Yeah, that was weird, too. Blank, right? Was it blanks? No. Just for good. I would have appreciated neither he would have shot the crowd. Yeah, that's what I was hoping.

Or he shot in the air and then you showed the crowd kind of jumping out of the way. Yeah, it was obviously blanks. Like, I guess that was outside the rules. But it was okay, according to the change of rules, to run over your own fucking mechanical team and the reporters. Well, they also changed the rules when Frankenstein ran over the religious figure. that's right yeah

it was it was a whole lot of wacky and then when when Frankenstein like kills the president at the end somehow oh yeah by driving into his podium yeah drives into his podium

and suddenly he's dead and now they're like wow what do we do I guess Frankenstein's the president now well there's there's a lot of wacky stuff in there like how Matilda

the hunt and what was it, Herman the German, how they just see a detour and they just drive through a cardboard tunnel right off the clip. It's like Wiley Coyote. They'd count for the old detour trick. And that was funny because the detour sign

was on the right, but you could have just gone around it because the left plane was white. I mean, it was kind of like a mixed bag of stuff because that was comedic, but then Calamity Jane, her. driving over the mind because they played the whole scene like, was she going to drive

on the mind or not, which was which was cool because that kind of gave you like a suspense moment, but like I said, the Patilda the Hun driving off the cliff, Looney Tune style was ridiculous. And then she'd been driving off road the whole goddamn time and then she decides to

pull us Austin Powers 12 point turn and finally it's the line. What they should have done when he drove off the cliff, though, is wait until he looks down to fall. Oh, yeah, of course. But yeah, this movie was a lot of fun. It was definitely too ridiculous for words. So I completely understand that. Literally.

But sometimes those are the best movies. movies and and I had a pretty good time with this. This was a fun week considering we watched a couple of 70s car movies. You know what? As our as our friend Steve Carlton would say, if you're watching a movie like Death Race 2000, you got to be keeping it green. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

You can not go into this movie sober. Oh, yeah. I wrote a bunch of notes down about Duel. Yeah. And then when I went back and looked at him, I was like, I'm not going to say any of that. Looking at the cast. list, one of the mechanics that got ran over was John Landis.

People might know director of American werewolf in London. Oh, look at that. Well, it was a smaller world back then, man, everybody knew everybody. Machine and Joe got points for him. It was a lot smaller. They got points for running over John Landis. I love it.

That's got a count for double, right? At least. All right. Scores, Lance? Oh, this is an eight and a half, man. This is not quite nine. Nine. Nine is like my mini masterpiece, but eight and a half is like one of the funnest movies I've seen in a really long time. And I watched this one a lot when I was a kid.

So it holds up. It holds up. I would just love to see it modernized, man. If they could do like a TV, a movie does not do this justice. It's too big of a universe. Could they do it now with the same kind of comedy aspect and it actually be good? Because this was kind of slap. sticky and cartoon.

Yeah. The right person could. I think the right person could. Maybe like the guy who directed Barbarian could pull it off. I'm thinking, I don't know. Let me see how his second movie comes out before. Yeah, because that one, you told me to watch that Miss March or whatever.

Yeah. Horrible. It was really bad. Well, that was him starring. That was him starring in it. That was the, they were like teenagers or some shit, right? Yeah, he's looking for her. his high school sweetheart

and she's like Miss March Playboy The guy that The lead guy that's the guy that directed Barbarian Okay Fucking awesome Well who else I mean who else

All right so who would you guys To direct Well Dave DeHaan is a given But who would you guys Dane DeHons is going to play Herman the German Or Merman the Charterans Yes

Okay All right Calamity Jane Calamity Jane, come on. Calamity Jane. You've got to have somebody out there that has a lot of gumption. Maybe the chick that plays Beth Dutton, the one that was in Lake Eden. Oh, yeah.

Well, except she's British. What's her name? Rebecca Hall. Yeah, yeah, I could go for that. I could definitely go for that. And you guys said Machine Gun Kelly for Machine Gun Joe just for the name, Philip. Yeah, but he wouldn't be as likable. Yeah.

No, we got to find somebody likable, man. I say, I say, like Mike Tyson. I say bring back Stone and just pretend like he never died. Stallone's got to be Frankenstein. Yeah, I could see that. And that's a twist. That would be the twist.

But they don't reveal it until the, although it's not like you can't tell that it's Stallone under there. I know, and he pulls the mask off and like that sort, that sort of sign is on. It's like he looks perfectly. Of course. like we brought her before Samara weaving would have to be his navigator.

Ah, you may have to make her... Maybe she could be Calamity Jane. I'd watch that. She could pull that off. Yeah, I was thinking of another Rebecca, Rebecca Ferguson. From, what was it? I'm kind of on the Samara weaving kick now, man.

I think I could see her pulling it off. As Matilda the hunt? No, get this. Here's a twist. How about Zazi Beetz is Matilda the Hun? Oh, yes. She is German in real life. Is she really?

I think she could do it, ma'am. I think she could do it. It'd be hilarious, ma'am. Yeah, there was a whole episode on Atlanta about her German background that kind of incorporated the show. There you go. And Dave DeHan is Herman the German. I love it. So we got our first team.

But like I said, instead of five, I think we should start with 10. And every episode, somebody dies off, right? Until you get to the final. Okay. Boom. Who are we going to try to sell this to? Paramount Plus or Netflix? Sellers.

Let's make it. Who do we know? Okay. Real quick, I'm going to put the challenge out. Steve, I know you're going to hear this. I need another movie. movie poster. With my, uh-uh,

like Tyson. His machine gun joke. Well, he's in guaranteed. Because we started with that. I think we've machine gun, Mike. Yeah, no matter what. You go from Stallone to Tyrese. Oh, my God.

That's a good point. Well, okay. All right. All right. 8.5 for Lince. Brice. Yeah, it was 8.5.

Oh, I'm a go nine. I had a lot of fun. This is, of course, we talked about my love for B movies and stuff like that. And, you know, Roger Corman is like one of the kings of the B movie. And this is the epitome of it. Yes, definitely. And I, and whoever put out the Blu-ray for it, because it's out of print, re-release it because I'm not paying $100 bucks on Amazon.

eBay for it. I fucking hate that shit. Yeah, and I can't buy it on iTunes right now because I had to lock my Apple card because somebody, when I started family sharing, was buying a bunch of Roblox shit.

And that shit ends up quick, right, Philip? Yeah, man. We've fucking gained. Well, I had this conversation with my wife the other day. I was like, you know, I bet you we spent $1,000.

more than that between Roblox and fucking Fortnite. I never went through that. I discovered the gift cards before. Yes, smart, smart. Because when they're gone, they're gone. Though there was a time when my older ones rented a bunch of movies on pay-per-view back when we used to do the cake. Yes. I remember those days.

the movies on pay-per-view. I watched him scrambled like any red blood. All right. Yeah, I'm going to go, what did you say,

nine, Ryan? Yeah. It's pretty high. Like I told you last week, go with your heart. It's hard to compare this to Duel because I only gave Duel

at 7.5, which is a score that I think it deserves. But I think Duel was probably a better I don't know but this one was a lot of fun

I agree with you Duel is a better move better made movie but Death Race 2000 is more fun it was like they accidentally made an awesome movie

yeah and most of it was because of the slap sticky ridiculousness of it and again Peter Fonda great last words yeah you can't take

the comedy out of this yeah you'll lose the whole point too ridiculous for words I just don't think that they I don't think that they could remake it with the comedy and make it hit like it did

I don't think that hurts in this day maybe we can have Nick maybe we could have Nick Kroll in one of the oh fucking sold as a literal as a literal douche

no he's a new team like I said we're going to have the five teams that we've got in the movie and make five more and you can make like a douche mobile and we get what's his name in there what's that comedic

manzookus sure why not man get will smith in there call his car the slap yeah but but mike tyson is definitely gonna have to kill him immediately like in the first episode he sends he sends his pigeons after him All right, fun movie, man. Death Race is awesome. Would have been better with Mike Tyson. Lance,

you want to lead us out? All right, man. As always, we want to thank you guys for listening to another episode of the Horror Returns. We would love to hear your feedback and ideas. You can reach us at the Horror Returns at gmail.com. We may have a phone line open soon. Brian and I will talk about.

that and see what happens we should have an episode a Patreon episode of Hannibal up this week and what wrestling returns sometime this week wrestling sometime this week we already recorded the Revenge of the Ninja so that'll be sometime this week and the next Dream Fins will be

1990 somethings I can't think of the year set it off starring Queen Latifah and Oh Jesus I haven't seen that in years Yeah, most of our picks are kind of like a movie Yeah, a movie will get referenced And we'll just be like, hey, we haven't seen that in a while So that's cool, man

Yeah, that's a show that's needed out there in the world today, man Like instead of so much structure, just like pick something, you know? Yeah, and it's T-R-R-T-H-R stream fiends, not just stream fiends Because that's somebody else's podcast. I'm sure they're great guys. Yeah, we don't want the problems that horror for dummies had. Or the problem we had, we're having to re-upload every episode. Thanks, Universal Music.

Uh-oh, did you bleak that out, Philip? I guess we can't live. But go to our website, www. Thehorrorreturns.com. And please consider becoming a Patreon patron. Let's just do a challenge this month. Let's see how many $1 patrons we can get. $1 a month for the next 30 days.

If you sign up, we're not only going to let you pick the three movies for a future show, but we're going to go ahead and let you get the $5 privilege of picking a commentary. So 30 days starting whenever we post this show. It's giving out free money. So next week, we began a retrospective of Psycho. We're going to revisit. We know we did it. in the year in horror 1960,

but that was so fucking long ago. Yeah. I love Vince Vaughn. This was a, this was a, this was a, oh, are we going to do the Vince Vaughn one? No, we're not.

Okay. This was a poll we did last year. I asked the, the Facebook group, what franchise they wanted us to do a retrospective on and kind of just

trying to make good on that, that poll that was over a year ago. So, so we got Psycho, and Psycho 2. Yes. So, Phillip, until the whore returns again,

good night. It's a hand grenade.