The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #360: Dracula (1931) & Renfield (2023)

Episode Date: April 20, 2023

This week, we sink our teeth into the brand new Renfield as well as 1931's Dracula. Cool of the Week includes The Book of Eli, A Lot of Nothing, and On Her Majesty's Secret Service. Trailers are The Last Voyage of the Demeter and Talk to Me. The podcast spotlight shines on The Horror Stans podcast. And we get feedback from Legion Podcasts, Bede Jermyn, Al Ramseur, Monte Light, and Kate Pollock. Let's welcome our new members: Kitty Rage, Kathy Rawlings, Jessa Daisy, Sarah Jane Loberg, Jeff Mohr, and Shephanie Stensrud. Thanks for listening! The Horror Returns Website: https://thehorrorreturns.com THR YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/@thehorrorreturnspodcast3277 THR Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thehorrorreturns THR Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thehorrorreturns/ Join THR Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1056143707851246 THR Twitter: https://twitter.com/horror_returns?s=21&t=XKcrrOBZ7mzjwJY0ZJWrGA THR Instagram: https://instagram.com/thehorrorreturns?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= THR TeePublic: https://www.teepublic.com/user/the-horror-returns SK8ER Nez Podcast Network: https://www.podbean.com/pu/pbblog-p3n57-c4166 E Society Spotify For Podcasters: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/esoc E Society YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCliC6x_a7p3kTV_0LC4S10A Music By: Steve Carleton Of The Geekz  

victims. For those of you delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify gore, welcome. You have found the place where the horror returns. Listeners beware. This podcast contains major plot spoilers in the foulest of language. join us in celebrating the old and the new, the best, and the worst in horror. Welcome back, one and all to The Horror Returns. I'm Lance, and with me as always, we got Brian in the house, Philip in the house. What's up, guys? What's up?

Not much. Beautiful day in Alaska. Snow's melting. temperatures rising sun's out loving it sun's out guns out huh not that weather time yet

but oh man be very very careful guys speaking of guns out one of our patrons has threatened to pick all three

magic mic movies for us to talk about oh hey I'm watching the parts I've seen are fucking hilarious. Yeah. Well, I mean, look, the third one, Salma Hayek's in it,

and she must bathe in baby's blood or something, because she's still looking good. Her and Tom Cruise, they got the same thing going on. Samaheich, she's married to like an old billionaire guy or something. Is she? I think so. His name is Dracula. Oh, there you go.

Just drop a little blood on her, and she's good to go, right? Yeah. All right. Well, while you guys are talking about the trailers, I'll have to be watching them. Try to chime in because I ran out of time. It's been a crazy, hectic two weeks. I think you got, you should have got one of them before your movie. Did I?

The last voyage of the Demeter. Oh, you know what? Dude, the traffic was so bad. We literally got there right when the movie was starting. I barely met. I like, let me put it. you this way. I go to AMC theater and Nicole Kidman,

she was halfway through her speech that she does before every AMC movie that I'm getting so fucking tired of. Who do we get? Because we have Rigo. We get Maria Manunos. Okay. Yeah, like

in a minute or whatever that thing she does. With her stupid pre-movie trivia stuff. That's right. Yes, I've been to some theaters that have shown that as well. She'll have a guest on and she'll be like super surprised they know all these easy-ass answers. Yeah.

What was the third of the three stooges? That kind of shit. Or who played the Last Man on Earth? Surely anybody would know that one. Yeah, but it gets stupid. What current super, or video game movies in the theater that starts with Super. Yeah.

And it's with brothers. And then they'll give them multiple choice like fucking who wants to be a millionaire style. Super butthole brothers or Super Mario brothers. All right. You guys ready for Cool of the Week? I'm going to struggle this week.

I can go first. I mean, you know what? I'll go first. I'm struggling. I sucks all the time. Okay. Oh boy.

This one is a very old one. Okay. Watch Book of El it actually didn't suck. It was pretty awesome. I love the fucking movie. Do you, do you see the twist now

rewatching it? Yes, yeah. Like, knowing what's coming, watching it, and seeing him be blind for the whole movie

is actually really cool because I've never watched it like that before. Yeah. And it just makes him more of a badass. Yeah, very,

very well played. Yeah. Denzel is a badass. Especially if you're watching for the first time and then that reveal at the end. Yeah. And that was a... What's the girl's name from that 70s show?

Milakunis? Milakunis. Yeah. Okay. She was okay in this one. It was early days. Maybe she didn't quite have it. Yeah.

Wasn't fully developed yet. Yeah. But I mean, it was serviceable. It was a good movie. I like this story. I like the message. So you get a good, good strong cool of the week. That's nice.

Yeah. That's about all I've watched. Aside from the Love is Blind fiasco. No, fuck that. Everybody is like watching this show. Well, they were supposed to have like a live reunion on Sunday. And they fucked that up royally. Somebody, somebody didn't show up or what?

Crash the whole system. Like nobody could watch. Oh, wow. Well, they had like big. parties with celebrities and shit and they went hilarious which is kind of funny but

it is what it is that's what you get Netflix it happens that's all I got you want me to jump in Lance yeah you might as well I'm trying to figure out if I know I've got a not so cool so okay let me struggling I'm thinking

Let me start my list with my not so cool Is a new new is shudder movie I think it came out a couple weeks ago Called Leave I've seen that one I just haven't watched it Yeah you can You can put it on that

I'll watch it some other time list Lance It's so fucking boring It's about a girl I guess she was abandoned by her mother as a baby and she grows up and she basically finds where her family comes from. I think it's like

somewhere in Europe, I couldn't even tell you, I was so fucking bored that I didn't pay attention. And the whole finding of the parents and finding out what happened and

all it was fucking so, I was on my phone most of the time. Ouch. That's that's a pretty strong sign right there, man. Yeah. So that one's a skip. All right.

I'll probably watch it anyway for October or something, but I'll, like you said, I'll save it until I'm really desperate. Let's see. Checked out the new, went over the screen box, as I usually do.

Yes. I've been loving screen box lately. Checked out the Japanese remake of Cube. I turned to that on and I fell asleep. Oh, no. I was just tired. I can't say that I loved it. I really can't.

It's almost the same movie with a few added differences to the different scenes for characters. Yeah, it looked pretty spot on, but with like nothing but Japanese characters. Yeah, and I can't say I liked any of the, the, the series. I kind of like the practical effects of the original better. Oh, no, they got all CGII, huh? Yeah, and it, the original kind of seemed a little bit more gritty, a little bit more realistic. Okay. And this one just a little too polished, I think that's the word.

I got you. I don't think Cube was meant to have a polished look to it, you know? Yeah, I think if you're, you know. Yeah. I think if you're a fan of the original one, I say check it out, but if you're just don't really care, I think you can skip that one. Okay. Let's see. Went back to Shutter for my next one.

Checked out kids versus aliens. What did you think? Not a bad. It's not bad. It's really short. It's like, I think it's like an hour and 15 minutes, maybe. Okay. Um, it's a typical, uh, what's the genre?

Uh, kids on bikes type movie. Yes. Yeah. That's, that's the genre. Uh, it takes a while to pick up. You're just kind of waiting for the aliens to come. So, so these kids can do battle with the aliens, which I thought was a lot of fun when it happened.

A very low budget movie. They, but they definitely, uh, got the most out of their money with what they did. And I thought it was pretty cool. The aliens look like typical. aliens that people say they're seeing. So it's not like... Ah, like the grays. Yeah.

Okay. So it wasn't like attack the block then. No. A lot of F-bombs from these little kids. Really? Young kids, too. Oh, shit. Okay.

And I thought for the most part, some of them were pretty good. Some of them you could tell was they just started acting. But there was one little kid. he was just, fuck this, fuck that. That was me. That's hilarious. Kind of respected him. And I thought the main girl, which was like the older sister, I thought she was pretty

badass. Right. She was kind of like to, wanted to be like a pro wrestler and helping her little brother and his friends, like, make their little home movies and was kind of, kind of, basically kind of a nerd, but not wanting nobody to know. she was a nerd and all that stuff that she was doing in the home movies

and practicing being around. That, of course, comes into play when she's fighting the aliens and I thought that was pretty cool. All right. And it definitely has a bully in it that you can't wait for him to get his. It gets sent up into the mothership and probed, huh?

No, he gets something bad half in the house. Cool the week is a movie I found I was searching around by other means and it's a movie called A Lot of Nothing Okay

Doesn't sound cool But it's the opposite of everything Everywhere all at once Yeah it's not really a horror I think I would say it's more Thriller drama Okay And it evolves a married couple

A black married couple They live next door to a cop who had just recently got into some troubles taking the call and he shoots he shoots a kid okay and the wife is outraged and she wants to go confront him and basically confronting him turns into this altercation where they end up kidnapping the cop and throughout the movie all these like situations pop like the the husband's brother and a girlfriend come over for dinner and they're trying to hide the fact they got this cop tied up in the garage. That's hilarious.

And it's interesting because, of course, there's a lot of, you know, a lot of racial stuff is brought up. Right. But it's kind of played as like you hear some of the stuff going on and you're like, you know, I agree with that. But at the same time, there's a lot of stuff brought up that you're kind of like, I can see it this way too, you know. Well, sounds pretty deep then, actually.

The main girl, she was Alexander Scarsgaard's wife in Infinity Pool. Okay. All right. I do recognize the husband in something, but as soon as I seen her, I was like, you were just in Infinity Pool. So she did a big year. Super hot. Yeah. I think her name is Cleopatra Coleman. Yeah, that name sounds so familiar.

I'm sure she's been in a lot of other stuff, too. Her character was definitely, there was certain things that kind of set her off that you understandably. I can see why you're pissed off about things. But at the same time, it was a lot of overreaction. A couple of things. She took understandably things that you, you can get pissed off and then made it a whole, I guess, a lot of nothing.

That's the title. Basically, when you get to the end, there's a thing that comes up about the shooting that if they would have just asked or looked into it. Right. Basically, they made a situation a lot of nothing because. Oh, gotcha. Can I like bodies, bodies, bodies. bodies were just one big misunderstanding at the beginning led to tragedy.

But the way the cop played it and his added towards, basically black people, it kind of made it seem that way. But basically, tempers got flared and if he would have just been able to talk about what happened. And if they, basically, if there was a communication between the two sides.

Yes. None of the events in the movie would have happened. It was a lot about nothing, a lot of nothing came happening. That sounds interesting. About like life. Yes. Right? You know what, Phil?

That's a very good way to put it. Basically, they took something that you would see or hear about in life and they put it on screen. And I thought it was actually a good little, a movie that I don't even think, I even heard of it or posting anything. about it so it was a nice little surprise and I think always more context and I think she after seeing her in this and a infinity pool Cleopatra Coleman I think we're going to see a lot of her in the next couple of years so yeah I remember looking her up after uh after the scars garden movie uh infinity pool but uh like she's done some stuff but she hasn't ever been like

no breakdown center stage yeah um we were talking about about it before we started recording. She was in Last Man on Earth. Oh, there you go. That was like when I seen her in an infinity pool, I was like, I've seen you in something. I looked at it out. And then that show, I was like,

that's where I've seen you. You were the super hot one on the show. That's right. That Will Forte was trying to bang until... Ah, okay. Yeah, instead of the super annoying one that he was stuck with it at the beginning. I think that's the only one he bangs.

He has opportunity to bang. Last Man on Earth. He has an opportunity to bang every woman on that show, but he fucks it up somehow. And she was one of them. And she says, I love her natural accent because she's Australian. She has a beautiful accent. That's a little sexiness to it, doesn't it? I'll take it.

Yes, it does. So a lot of nothing is my cool of the week. Nice. All right. Yeah, well, I've, all right. I think I've come up with one. But I've got, first I've got a, I'll get this one out of the way. This is my mech of the week.

And I, TV show that I like, I like to call the meth fair witches. Oh, seen you post that. I am so, so annoyed, man. It's okay to make a few changes to a book. And I understand you're trying to fit almost a 1,000 page book. The first book in the series is called The Witching Hour. It's almost 1,000 pages. and to try to squeeze that into eight 50-minute episodes, I get it.

But, I mean, they just, like, one of the major characters in the book is not even in it. And they, like, compress his character along with another character that's kind of like with a group, this group called the Talamaska. And what they do is they basically, you know, keep tabs on witches, vampires, different characters like that that are living amongst us in the world. and they sort of, you know, write about them and study them and kind of like always keep in the shadows. Yeah, they keep up with all the supernatural goings on.

So there's a character from the Talamazka that's from the book, but he's kind of like merged with the love interest of the main character. Now, I don't mind seeing Alexandra Dadaria. I wish maybe she'd lose her top in one of the scenes like she did in True Detective. Yeah, that's going to be her thing forever. Yeah, it is, man And I'm just so just so just Really beautiful eyes

Can I see you, Titties? She does She does have beautiful eyes Like that light blue Super light blue With the dark bear killer Oh yeah I really I really wish

I'd love it more I was super happy with the vampire Chronicles so far Even though it's a different time period And all that But this one is just It's so far from the source material I'm gonna have trouble

getting into it. But they're making a whole universe. Was it something hard to translate to TV or did it to you just did unnecessary changes? I think they just did unnecessary changes for, you know, to make it fit within eight episodes. Oh, okay. Which is doing it a disservice. And if the rumor I hear about supposedly Mike Flanagan is going to be doing a dark tower series, like the right way. so like if he does it

and if he needs to do at least 10 episodes of book minimum and if he does that it'll be a winner I think he has a it's going to be at Amazon I think they gave him free reign this one as soon as they snatched them from Netflix they were basically like

what you were doing at Netflix do over here and I I definitely trust him there's no doubt about that all right my not so cool of the week I got to see a little movie through foul means

thank God I didn't pay for this Brian I think you've seen it Philip I don't know if you have Winnie the Pooh blood and honey Yeah yeah we think we all seen it Now we have now we all have Oh my God what a fucking trash fire man Yeah

You guys running around it like first of all It's only two of them It's only Winnie the Pooh and Piglet I understand E.R. got eaten, but there was like Canga and owl and all kinds of I was wondering what happened to the rest of them. That's maybe, my theory is that they're going to pop up

in the sequel or they ate them. All right. What I did like about the movie, it had some great gore and some pretty fun torture porn. And you got to love that, you got to love that head getting run over with the car. Although, where the fuck,

Winnie the Pooh learned how to drive. I have no idea. but no it's just basically a couple of guys wearing rubber Winnie the Pooh and piglet mask with a bunch of petroleum jelly falling out of their mouths like it was honey I know I understand they had a very low budget I'll say all the bud was even all the bud was even CGI Brian yeah I'm I'm expecting because it's

it's made some money so I think with the sequel we'll see we'll see the practicals I think that's what the money I hope so. The head getting squished wasn't bad, though. Yeah. No, that was fun. I mean, I laughed.

Yeah. And Christopher Robin was, Winnie the Pooh was whipping Christopher Robbins with Eor's tail. Yeah. And he was making these big gashes with just some fucking hair. Well, it's got a nail in it, remember? Yeah. Oh, that explains it all. Oh, I love the movie now.

Thanks for explaining that for me. I just, man. Happy to do that. I don't know. I guess I got kind of a. what I was expecting, quite frankly. Yeah, I had fun with it because I wasn't going in

thinking it was going to be a serious horror film. It is, it's a goofy-ass slasher movie. True. And you get, you get some hot chicks getting killed by Winnie the Pooh and

Piglet. I think it lost a few points for me in the fact that the chick in the hot tub never lost her top. I hate to say it. I'm sure they're listening, so with the sequel, well, let's have some topless women. All right, to be fair, if you're going to go low budget.

Uh-oh, to be fair, put a dollar in the box. There it is. But yeah, if you're going to go low budget, you kind of have to, if you're not going to bring it with the stories and the effects, you're going to have to hire some strippers. like killer goats Brian I won't say they're strippers but they were they had some

talented assets yeah talented assets all right I guess I got too cool of the week so I'll save one for the end because it's kind of a shout out but since we're talking about titty's let's keep in that misogynistic vein shall we gents let's harken back to a better time

right are we going to pretend we don't like them? Everybody likes to these. But I do want to harken back to a simpler time, folks. And I'm talking about James Bond on her

majesty secret service, which was the only George Lazzenby, James Bond. And I think he could have pulled it off, man. I know Sean Connery came back after this one to do one more. And then they handed it off to Nez's favorite Roger Moore. But he didn't make a bad James Bond.

I really enjoyed this one. And you got to love it, man, when every, every scene, every single person in the shot is smoking, James Bond walks in to the office and, oh, hello, Miss Money, Penny, let me grab your titties as I pass through. And she's like, oh, James. Is that what happened? No hard done. Yeah. And then, of course, you know, his little hat on the behind as you walk by.

I think it's mandatory. Isn't it mandatory that at least three women shagg bond in each film? Is that the number? I'll say it at least. I think that's the minimum. But it was fun, man. So that's my cool of the week. But I'm going to give a quick shout out to a podcast that we talked about two weeks ago, Brian.

Started listening to it. I'm loving it. And that's books in the freezer. I know. Yeah. And not only did they talk about books, but they talk a lot about movies, too. And freezers. Yeah, you guys might give it a shot.

The episode that I listened to that was so good as they talked about all the horror books come out in 2023. So I made notes on a couple of books that I definitely want to read. So it's going to help my reading list out. Trying to hit 24 books in the year, I think I'm up to three. So as usual, running way behind. Obviously, there's going to be a graphic novels purge coming up soon to get caught up. Books are books. All right.

another shout out to books in the freezer. Catch it anywhere you catch your podcast. That's it. Ken Moore's are great. That's right. All right, Brian. Horror headlines? Yeah, before we get into horror headlines,

I want to tell my youngest daughter, happy birthday. All right. She is 13 now. Uh-oh. Well, you're in trouble. Yeah, she was, when we started this show,

she was like six or seven. I remember that. Yeah. She's been on quite a few shows with us. Yeah. She even was on a show where she said three words and then left. I remember that one. And now everything is stupid. Yes. Addison's about to turn 13 in June, one of my granddaughters.

So we have that to look forward to. Yeah. I do. All right. Let's see. Horror headlines. A lot of universal monster stuff coming out this week. Okay.

Just, we'll talk about the trailer. One of our trailers is a universal monster. I got to watch that. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, do that now while we talk about the news. All right. I'm listening.

I'm listening. Don't worry. Radio silence. You'll get it about halfway through. Radio silence, yes. Radio Silence, who's directed the last two screen movies also did, what was it? Ready or not? Ready or not. Thank you, Lance.

They are, as I'm now untitled, they're directing a new universal monster movie. Huh. And because they work so closely with her, Melissa Barrera, I believe is her name, how you pronounce it, the main girl in Scream that plays Jen O'Rtega's sister will be the star of it. Interesting. So what are all the universal monsters? We got like Wolfman, Mummy, Dracula, Frankenstein. Freacher of the Black Lagoon. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

Right. I think I could be wrong. Somebody will probably scream at me if I am or not. I think the hunchback. Is that what? I think so, yeah. Even Phantom of the Opera, I believe. The Invisible Man, Phantom of the Opera.

Invisible Man, yeah. Okay. I think there might be some of the bride of Frankenstein, of course. Do we know what she's working on? Is she going to be the bride? They haven't said. They just signed on the directive. Just giving some options trying to guess.

Maybe they'll kick it off with Renfield and build around that. We'll see. As long as they bring back Nick Cage for Dracula, I'm happy. They would have to. I don't know if this one counts. I guess we're going to find out. Did we talk last week about the Conjuring TV series that they're making? A little bit, I think, or maybe I read that on Facebook.

Okay, well, they are James Wan and Peter Saffron, who is the head of Warner's are developing new HBO series based on the Conjuring. Oh, okay Well, are they going to get the same actors? I don't know. I was kind of thinking about it. If you kind of go with their, I guess if you go case by case

and you go with their earlier cases, you might have to go with younger-ish actors. Okay. I guess that makes sense. Although I think I brought it up after I watched it, but there's a series on Netflix where it's like ghost hunter's style and they go to all of these places that the what are their names from The Conjuring? The Warrens. And they debunk it? Well, no, no, no, no.

They go there and it gets super haunted and it gets crazy and it's completely fucking ridiculous. Totally fake. I was going to say a different word. you can say it come on we have an e-rating it gets a little bit wild and like it starts out

and I'm like man I really want to believe you guys and then they get a little too into ridiculous territory where I'm like alright what the fuck you they got a rubber mask in the background a whole lot of places that have been haunted

by them well no they just didn't really have any proof. It was just some dude going nuts. Oh, I see the ghosts. Oh, my goodness. What the fuck, man? This one guy put on like a god helmet. Oh, no. Jesus Christ.

That's what he called it. It just had like fucking light over it. Like a Thor? Like a Thor helmet? Nobody sat next to you at lunch today. That's how the problem is. All right. A couple more cast members join. Welcome to Derry, the It Prequel.

Madeline Stowe and Stephen Ryder. Okay. I know Madeline Stowe. I've seen her in many things. I know Madeline Khan. And that one's a movie or a TV show? TV series. Okay.

Yeah. I don't know if I'm going to watch it. I think I got burned with that other king. TV series. You know the one I'm talking about? Oh, help me out here, guys. I think it was on Hulu. I don't think I made it. Castle Rock? Yeah, Castle Rock. It just got me down.

Too far away from the source material. You like Mr. Mercedes. Yeah, love Mr. Mercedes. Well, let's go back to Castle Rock. You can't be too far from the source material when you take all the source material and put them in the same universe living together. Yeah. existed in his work.

I guess that's what threw me off. Well, and I have more faith in a TV series than a movie, to be honest with you, at this point. Gotcha. Yeah, probably give it a chance. Let's see here. This one seemed to anger a lot of people, and it was just one of them things. I was just kind of like, just hold on. It's just to keep.

Kim Kardashian was the cast. Well, that's probably the reason. I heard about that. You know, she joins the next season of American Horror Story. First of all, American Horror Story hasn't been great in a long time. No, I kind of kept out. She's not ruining anything. Yeah.

And for some reason, for some reason, this will be the thing that she's good at is American Horror Story. That would be hilarious. Maybe they'll torture porn her. And then for some reason. She'll die of me. Immediately. Well, I thought, what's his name was pretty good last season? McCauley Culkin.

Oh, you're talking about the season that was two parts? Yeah, part of it was the vampires near the beach and the other one was, was it aliens? Yeah. Yeah, I like that one. I haven't watched New York, though, have you? I started. It was too much of a, that got away from the whole. aspect of the show.

It became more like a police procedural, true crime, which I don't have a problem with none of that stuff. It just seemed like they were getting, from where I watched it up to, they got so far away from the horror aspect of the show. I forgot that show was still on. Well, too many,

too many good shows out there to mess with that one or walking dead stuff anymore, you know? Yeah, and then also they, with Kim Kardashian, they announced, Roberts was on the show, but they announced it. She had not been on, like, several seasons or something. Like, it was a new casting. Oh, yeah.

She goes back to the beginning. Anything else? Yeah, that's why I was like, why is everybody flipping out that she's joined the cast? She's been on, like, eight seasons or something. Yes. And she has definitely done a couple of rom-coms over the last year. How do I know that? Because I've watched them with the wife.

You had to throw in with the wife, huh? Oh, yeah. She's cute. She's a cutie. She's a cutie. She's not a bad actress. I don't know if there was actually a lot of news this week. I know there was going to be some, maybe you want to peak your interest here, Lance. There's been some books that have been acquired for adaptations. Ah, okay. The first one, James Wands, Atomic Monster in Amazon Studios, have acquired Catherine, Ryan Howard's Cyclotivus.

Thriller, 56 Days for an adaptation. Never heard of it. Nope. Let's see. Alexandra Bracken's novel lore is getting an adaptation over at Universal. Okay. And it's described as Hunger Games meets Greek mythology.

We really need more of that. Okay. And with kids. That sounds like... But out of the ones I'm about to talk about here, I don't... I've never heard of lore, but when the news posted, I guess on social media,

everybody was excited about that one. Okay. I may have to go read it then. And the last book that is getting an adaptation is Sam Ripley's horror novel, The Rule of Three, is getting an adaptation over at Screen Jims. Wow. I don't know what that is you. Think I've really heard of that one either, man. Wow. So I added...

They're digging deep. Out of the three I posted on our different social media pages, was the one that was the most well received so I mean I don't know they always when I posted the book cover always says best-selling novels so it seems like everything is best-selling novel but yes the only one kind of sounds interesting is lower 56 days I would of course like James Warren to be more than than a producer. Because I don't really know what you're doing as a,

you might be doing, I was going to say, you might not be doing anything at all, but I think that's when you're an executive producer. I think that's when they just slap your name on there. That's right. Every time I hear the word producer, I think of Chris Rock and Jane, Silent Bob Strike Back.

Makes sense. To executive produce me a latte, Decrackinated. Let me see if there's any other news. There was one thing. We talked about it when we did our DC Roundup news. The James Gunn knew direction. We talked about Creature Commandos was going to be an animated series,

and the cast they hired was not only going to be voice actors, but they were going to show up as live action characters in a movie. Well, that makes no sense, but okay. Well, it does if the animated series is canon with the movies coming up. You want the voice happening. I can see that. I can see

that. And pretty good cast they got. Sean Gunn. Okay. You know, James Gunn's brother. Yep. Frank Grillo, Maria Baclava, India, Varma,

Alan Tudick, David Harvard, Steve Agee. Oh, wow. And also rumored to not be one of the main characters, but to join the show or possibly a different D.C. character is Ron Perlman. That would be pretty cool. David Harbour and Ron Pearlman together. The Battle of the Hellboys. I think Dave Harper loses that one. Probably. Even though Ron Perlman's like 85 years old. Because Ron Perlman might actually be a gorilla.

but according to Frank Grillo he will fuck up anybody yes in acting I believe that he actually came out and said he will be any actor up in Hollywood yeah oh wow

well you might have to stand behind those words for some reason when I heard that I was like nah I was just like you you probably will kick majority of Hollywood's ass oh definitely 95% of it

Yeah, like Matt Dime And I would like to see That guy can't fight His head's too big He just falls out Oh, come on I'm talking about

That Team America World Police I would like to see Frank Grillo And John Bernthal And like some kind of Celebrity boxing match Yeah, that would be great

Yeah Bring back celebrity Death match With real people Instead of claymation You ever play the video game? Uh-uh

A couple times Nothing like the show. No. The show was a fantastic, though. I love the show. Double checking here. No, that's pretty much all the news. I know there's going to be some big news regarding the new Insidious movie that we'll be talking about next episode.

Looking forward to it. The Red Door, right? The Red Door. Insidious, the Red Door. Until you're going to be. remember that the last insidious movie was that stupid key one. Thankfully, from what I understand, I think we're supposed to just, this is a sequel to the original, too. That's kind of what I figured. Didn't somebody's finger turn into a key and I sodomize someone with it or something like that?

I don't remember that. Or did I have a weird version? You might, because that's something I think would stick in my memory. Okay. all right boys you're ready to go down to the park while while i watch and you guys start talking brian bring us the big the small and the very very weird i guess i should have had it pulled up before we even that's cool i still got to watch them so take your time we'd talk about the sootomy key again yeah uh-oh they don't have like a volume down you know you have to try a bunch of

different ones all right the first one we are going to talk about like i said big big week for universal monsters is the last voyage of the Demeter based on the single chapter of the captain's log from Bram Stoker's

classic in 1897 novel Dracula. The story set before the Russian schooner, Demeter, which was chartered to carry private cargo, come on, IDB, private cargo.

And a vampire. Yeah. all the sailors that died on the way to London. That's the right now. Basically, it's a movie about that story in the book. Hmm. Yeah, they changed the name of the ship in the 1931 movie. Did you notice that?

Yeah. This is directed by Andre Overdahl, which you guys have probably seen some of his movies. Troll Hunter. Okay. The autopsy of Jane Doe. Ah, not a bad one. What was that one we did for Halloween? Scary stories to tell in the dark.

Not a great one. Yeah. Rewatch it. Rewatch it for Halloween. I watched it twice in the theater. That's not for me. I don't know why you did that. Well, because I went to see it, and then a week later, my grandson was in town, and he wanted to see it.

So what I'm going to say? Probably enjoyed it more than you did. Probably so. This star is Corey Hawkins, Alicia Fergosi, Liam Cunningham, David Dalshman, Chinn. Sure.

Pocodot, man. Oh, okay. I recognize him. I'm looking at it right now. And a bunch of other people. Bill, what you think of last voyage of the Demeter? Yeah, I started, I didn't. know what it was when I clicked on it and I was like demons on a ship this sounds awesome and then

like a few seconds into the into the trailer I realized what they were doing and I was like oh I know what this is that's cool I can see that like they better have some really badass kill scenes I'm sure they will yeah and it needs to be like really dark and demonic like there is a demon on the ship right And I think if they go that route, which it looks like they are, right? It could be really cool. I mean, because you already know what the ending is. That's what I was thinking. Do we really need this movie?

I mean, we kind of know how it ends, right? Yeah, but. And it's going to end with Renfield coming up to stairs. But it's got Nicholas Holt's face superimposed. I kind of want to see it because visually, we never really got this story in the movie. just basically he Dracula went on this ship and went to where he was supposed to go

and you just heard about all the tragedy that happened on the ship but now we can see what happened I don't know if I'm necessarily remember if I think some people lived like a couple couple people

It's like a buddy comedy where they kill everybody and then Dracula and Renfield have to figure out how to navigate the ship to the rest of the Jesus Christ Christ. It's Nick Cage again. Maybe Rose jumps off onto a door and Jack tries to get on and she kicks him in the face and he freezes in the water, right? Which, I don't know if we talked about it, debunked.

Yeah? They both could have fit on there. We did talk about it. I remember that. That scene always made me mad. I always like, there's enough room for both of them on. Because Rose is a whore. Look out. There may be somebody behind you, Philip.

Oh, not that one. And then she throws the diamond in the ocean. Yes. I hate that movie. That's because she knows she's wrong. But, yeah, I think it's a, do we need the movie? No, but will it be entertaining? I think it will be.

It looks like a lot of nice practical effects. I like the look of Dracula because he well the form we see him in he looks like more monstrous creature So we probably might get him in that That stage when he hasn't fed enough To where he's more Monster than humans

Yes And the cast looks great The people I recognize in there That I know like Dr. Dre The guy to play Dr. Dre's in there I like Liam Cunningham, he's good. So I think it'll be a fun watch. If it goes on the schedule, I don't know what we'll pair it with.

You'll find something you always do. Horror at sea. Yeah, because I kind of don't want to do the Dracula thing again. Although this was a perfect pairing for the movies that we did today. Yeah. Yeah, which I thought was a... It's a direct sequel. Which I thought was a smart choice on their behalf to release the trailer this week.

And I got it in the theater, and it looked pretty cool on the big screen. Oh, I didn't. Well, we'll be there. We'll be there for sure. This comes out August 11th. Okay. And on to our final trailer, which I'm going to say right now, I think this might be this year's smile. Yeah.

surprise indie horror film. Could be. Talk to me, right? Talk to me. Synopsis is, why are the IMD. be killing me with these giant synopsuses? When a group of friends discover how to conjure spirits using an embalmed

hand, that's creepy. What that's the fuck? An actual hand? I thought it was a statue. They become hooked on the new thrill until one of them goes too far and Alicia's terrifying supernatural forces. Huh.

And this is directed by, come on, IMDV. Sorry, everybody, my phone. Danny Philippa and Michael Philippe, which I didn't realize, I guess they have a YouTube channel called Raka Raka, and I guess they are, like, big YouTubers that wrote a script and A-20.

This is A-24 film. And I guess it's... Yeah, this... This gives... I'm watching it. This gives me a bodies, bodies, bodies vibe, speaking of that movie. Yeah, the tone of the, like,

the cast and stuff, I could see that. Yeah, but it doesn't seem quite as comedic. I... With this movie, I hope it's not comedic. I hope it's not. I mean, 824, that's going to give it some credit right there.

Right. I mean, just a... fact that they're involved. But YouTubeers wrote the script. I'm like, although everybody has to start somewhere. Right, right. I mean, how many scripts have we written just talking here right now?

There's been movies we were like, well, this, this, and this should have happened. And I was just kind of like, I'm sold on that. Yeah. But as far as talk to me, I think it looks creepy. I think reading the synopsis and finding out as an actual embalmed hand that they're using to do these conjurings, that's

kind of fucking creepy, and it seems like something you shouldn't be messing with. A bit fucked up, is it? Yeah, I mean, I see how the movie's going to where she thinks she's speaking to her mother, which clearly she is not. She just, as they said in the movie, we might have left the door open and not closed it.

The old bait and switch. The great deceiver. But I think, I think if it plays out the way, I think it is in my head, I think this could be this year's like smile or whatever independent barbarian, you know, basically a movie. We didn't see coming. Now, having said that, if the A24 part hadn't been in the title, I would be like, man, this kind of looks like, you know,

cheese every other generic horror movie that comes out right but well we said that about smile remember yeah lance hated the trailer for psycho gorman oh yeah and i love the movie oh i love the movie probably seen that a dozen times man you were you were standing firm that you were not going to watch that movie and then you watched it and you were like this movie's great just like i'm standing firm that cocaine bear is going to be in my bottom 10 this year Am I right, Brian? I think it's already out. I didn't watch it, but

Cocaine Bears on Peacock, and they also released a documentary about the actual story. Oh, that's the actual story. Not quite as interesting. I think he just ate a bunch of cocaine and died. And died. So if anybody who's has peacock and they haven't seen

the movie, you can watch the movie, and then watch the actual story of how the cocaine got there. Because it just doesn't seem like a great plan to just be throwing bricks of cocaine out of the plane over forest. Yeah, not a good idea. I would eat it all, though. Well, somebody's going to find it. I know what I would do if I found it. It'd be like that maybe true romance.

I'd be trying to sell it and end up in a shootout in the end. Living where I lived, I've had bears in my trash, and they would eat anything they think it was food. That's true. Powdered sugar mixed with cocaine. They had to dig it open to get into it. Right. They're damn well going to eat all of it. And don't bother yelling at them.

They're not going to get up and leave. Right. I've had many bears. I've cussed out many bears in my trash and they just looked at me and then went back to doing what they were doing. Basically. You got to throw shit at them and then run inside real fast. That I, no, I'm not doing that one. But talk to me.

It kind of sounds like we're all somewhat looking forward to it. Yeah. It looks interesting, man. Yeah, it's definitely worth a shot. Worth a shot. Let me see. is a release date? I know it was supposed to come out this year.

I think at the end it said June something. Come on, July 28th. All right, there you go. June, July, what's the difference? You know, resisting the urge for another Jane's album quote. Go for it, man. Too late now. Well, on that note, that is our last trailer.

All right. Listener feedback. This week, we shine the podcast spotlight on the horror stands podcast. Welcome to the horror stands podcast. Join the horror novice Matt and horror expert Steve as we dive into a new film every week. With Steve's knowledge and Matt's fresh take, we hope to provide something for everyone. So grab a drink, sit back, relax, and let's talk about horror movies. Sounds awesome. Horror stands.

S-T-A-N-S, right? Yeah, Stan like Eminem. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That too. Regarding Hannibal Legion Podcasts says, great show and amazing. It was on NBC Public TV, not cable with its content. Subscribe to your Patreon just to listen to your discussion.

Looking forward to the next episode. Thank you. Well, thank you, Guy at Legion Podcasts. That's a lot of people to think, ma'am. Brian posted a poll in the group. Which franchise should we cover next? So far, final destination is leading the pack. So get out there.

As well it should. I kind of can't believe we haven't done that already. We haven't done a single one of them, have we? Yeah. I thought we may have done the first one, but, yeah, I don't think we... I think we were kind of, because we talked about on the news. that they're re-rebooting it. I think we were kind of waiting.

Okay. Oh, yeah. I got to get that spreadsheet together, Brian, of every film we've covered so we don't. Yeah, it's starting to be a lot. I can't even. It's starting to be a lot. Now, who's going to notice if we cover one twice? Yeah, we're coming up on eight years together in May.

If we don't see time flies. I can't imagine they will. Is it eight years? I think so. If my math is correct, I was going off the date that that terrible Kevin Bacon movie came out. That was our first

review. When we did a disservice by pairing it with paltry geist. That's the one. We should have paired it with paltry geist and it would have been more similar quality. Fucking Kevin Bacon in his later years. Uh-oh. Do you see a ghost, Phil?

I did. Sorry. Oh, no. I saw a wife. That's he worked. all right uh al ramsoor uh just watched the longest day uh 1962 no that's a classic and tora torr toer in nineteen seventy two another classic um both a million he says both a million times better than saving private ryan oh debatable but i think a couple people gave him like a emoji of a finger, get the middle finger on that one. I mean, listen, I don't even

know that I've ever seen either one of those movies, but to say that it's a million times better than saving Private Ryan, I can't substantiate, but that's... That's a hard one because I've never actually been in war, but I kind of felt like watching that movie in the

theater at the time. Yeah. I kind of felt like I was there. Yeah. It was rough. Well, Philip, you would know, dude, you were, uh, you were, uh, you were an assassin, right? Weren't she like a sniper or something? He can't talk about it. He can't talk about it.

Did you storm the beaches of Saudi Arabia or Afghanistan or whatever? Afghanistan, storm the beaches of Afghanistan. You just keep going. It's all beach. That's what I was going to say. Just no water. I do have a lot of, well, I don't have it. My dad has it.

My great uncle was. at D-Day. And we have a lot of, like, Nazi memorabilia from dead Nazis. Oh, God. Dead Nazis. Get myself under a lot of people. A lot of people brought that stuff back. A lot of people brought back, I don't know if it's true, but a lot of people would, like, take teeth.

From their, I knew the Nazis took gold teeth from the Jews, right? Right. Well, they had, there's, there's, I think it's like a bayonet that, um, that we have that was like from a Nazi commander and it's like the handle is made of human bone yeah didn't uh

did they have a scene in Sabapur Ryan when they killed one of the Nazis they took his knife because he was like a he was like a high ranking so they took it as like a fee sounds familiar yeah sounds familiar that's what you do man you take the

we got a couple of those That's a good shit. Not only they have to kill him, but you got to shake them down too for everything they've got, right? My dad actually used to have it in like a case. We had just a bunch of like shit that was picked up off of dead Nazis. But then he realized, I think, somewhere along the years that we have a case full of just Nazi stuff. And he's like, well, maybe this is not the thing to display. Hey, we won.

We won. Yeah, I can see what Phil's saying. That's probably something that you have to explain. I don't think I put up an explanation for everybody that comes over to the house. I don't think I put up a swastika flag in my entryway. No, yeah, no, we had like arm bands and fucking hats and shit that were like, I mean, it was all, it was bloodstained, dude. I was about to say, throw a little red food coloring on it. At least.

Wait, no, we were the good guys. and we picked them up off the dead guys Jesus Did you ever find the Ark of the Covenant though? No, it did not. If you do, close your eyes. You guys ever see that candle

that you can buy of the guy that that melts? No, but that sounds amazing. Yeah, it's his face and you just lighted and eventually it just melts. It melts. That's great. And

on a different note Monty Light says when a recovering drug addict named Massimo is bitten by an ancient shape-shifting monster he must fight to save his girlfriend from the same bloody fate blood-covered chocolate

which doesn't sound like that but all is available to be Amazon Prime and more I actually received a screener for that movie so I'm going to try to get it watched and talk about it next week. All right. Blood covered chocolate.

Regarding unseen, Kate Pollock says, where is this showing? Right. And Cindy Sinabria wants to know how it was. Did I talk about this one last week? Yeah. It was kind of bad, didn't you? No, I liked it. I think it was the one, if I'm remembering.

I watch a lot of movies. They get jumbled in my head. I think it was the one where the girl accidentally calls somebody that she doesn't know and she's running from her boyfriend and she's lost in the woods and she doesn't have her glasses and she can't see. And basically the girl on the other line is FaceTiming her. She's her eyes. Okay. I do remember you talking about that one. It is.

By the fettiest means. Yeah. It's available for rent at least? Yeah, we don't promote that. But it may be VOD somewhere? Yes, I think everywhere. Okay. But as I post movies that I watch in our Facebook group,

and I notice on the poster, it said MGM Plus, I am not paying for MGM Plus, but if you have it, I think eventually it'll be on there. I think it's worth the time. It's very, it moves very quick. I think it's about an hour and 20 minutes. it gets right into the story and I don't remember

it got to a point where it ever really slowed down a couple points that may have just to get kind of a little backstory on the characters but I think if you ain't got nothing to watch I wouldn't put it over bigger releases like you need to get to this movie right away but if you see it and you have an opportunity to watch it

and you have the time yeah go ahead all right there's your review And let's welcome our new Facebook group members, Kitty Rage. Great name. Yes. Sounds like a stripper. Awesome. One that I'd be really into.

Kathy Rawlings, Jessa Daisy, Sarah Jane Loberg, Jeff Moore, and Stephanie Stensrund. All right. Stensrud. Welcome. Welcome, guys. Welcome. You said Jessa

Daisy, right? Yes, Jessa Daisy. Okay, I want to read something. She is a part of a movie that is coming out

Oh, awesome. Okay. Called Demon Queen 2. The Indiegogo launches this Sunday, April 16th. So by the time you hear

this, the Indiegogo to support the film will be out. There's quite a few people that are involved in the project that are in our Facebook group so basically part of the family so very nice you want to support the

I haven't seen the the indigo go go yet I'm just sure they have a lot of perks in different levels like our Patreon which we are having a contest not contest for that so support independent horror what's the movie game again

uh double demon queen two and from what i'm reading uh effects makeup genius jesse cites who's worked on uh jacob's wife uh we've all seen jacob's wife oh yeah yeah great movie uh we'll be doing the effects for demon queen too awesome the makeup effects so support that one all right all right support them and jess a daisy thank you for joining our nice little group here I'm sorry I called you a stripper kitty

that's it for listener feedback our show and our intro and our new logos come from Steve Carlton from the geeks for this hat just for you there buddy and be on the lookout for some more great stuff from Steve our original skull artwork comes from

Natsulani so check her out on Instagram and if you'd like to help us out. He's considered becoming a Patreon patron. Let's pick the movies for a future show at any amount, and for $5 or more a month, also pick a commentary for a future bonus show.

But wait! There's more. I think we still have a contest, not contest, going on, where for any amount, you get to pick a commentary and some movies. That's right. Is that right?

Still going on. A couple of weeks. It only cost you a dollar. Can I get a dollar? How much for one rib? Just help him, brother. How much for one rib? And going back to Steve, I know you're not a wrestling fan, but check out the latest wrestling returns. Nez said a lot of special things about the 49ers.

Oh, very nice. Very nice. Just for you. Just for you. Because unfortunately, one of them was involved at WrestleMania. Yeah. Well, our friend Jay Black, our friend Jay Black is also a 49ers fan. As I think Stephen Loeblet is.

Hey, you got to give him a little credit for the football team because, you know, there's like human feces all over the street. Oh, my God. I'm not familiar with the player that Nez was talking about. He kept calling him McGriddle. Okay. Not McGrueber. So, there's that. Check it out, Steve.

All right. And on to our featured attractions. This week, we get to the theater again for Renfield and check out the OG-1931, barely out of silent film era. Dracula. You can't hear what I'm saying, but we're here. We are safe. They must have come through a terrible storm. What's that?

Why? Come from that hatchway. Why he's man. Look at his eyes. Why the man's gone crazy. Barely. Barely. I think the first movie that had sound was like 1920.

seven or 28. Oh, my God. Wow. Well, so we'll definitely start with that one. Some trivia. Transylvanian vampire, Count Dracula. Vends a naive real estate agent to his will, then takes up residence at a London estate where he sleeps in his coffin by day and searches for potential victims by night. And pimps by night.

Directors are Todd Browning, also known for Freaks, and Carl Frund, also known. Frund, fronde. Frund. I don't know. Your great uncle might have one of his hats. I know, right? You're on the wrong side, motherfucker. Riders are Hamilton Dean and John L. Balderson.

Based on a work by Bram Stoker, of course. After playing Renfield, Dwight Frye would find himself typecast. Is that a type? He found himself restricted to playing eccentric or jittery characters that had a manic edge to them or criminal lunatic types. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Always working. Dracula never once blinks his eyes, an effect that in hands. enhances the undead characters otherworldly aura,

abetted by Bella Lagosie's famous menacing stare. Interesting. Yeah, good stuff. 1931 Dracula. Was that the first, first Dracula? I think. On film? First one I know about it.

Well, no, there was Nospheratu. Yeah, that one. What year was that one? That was silent, actually. That was early 20s, maybe? Yeah, that was before this. Or 1980s. Was it 1918? No.

Let me look at that. Great effects, though. It was a while ago. Yeah. All right. So what do we think about the 1931 Dracula? Brian, you want to start us off? Oh, definitely a classic. Bella Lagosia is Dracula. Whether you like the film or not,

the image of him as Dracula is iconic, especially that, like you said in the trivia, that menacing stare he has. The accent. The spotlight on the eyes. Yeah, right there. I always like that. That was super cool. But with all that being said,

as iconic as this movie is, I've never really been a big fan of Dracula, or at least the early adaptation of Dracula. Because for me, in this movie, it's all about Dwight Fry as Renfield. That guy is a fucking nutcase, and he plays it so good.

Yes, he does. That crazy laugh he keeps doing throughout the movies, that... Hmm, hmm, hmm. Love it. The scene, when, I think it's when they first get to London. Okay.

He's talking to Dracula outside his coffin. I think it's the scene right before they discover him down at the bottom of the ship, and that's when he first does the laugh because he's looking up at them from the bottom of the stairs on the ship when they open it up yeah right and you know he's just kind of trying to tell them about Dracula through the whole movie but they're like you're in an

insane asylum you nutcase we ain't listening to you yeah right this guy eats bugs we'll get to the eating bugs in the next week but I kind of felt like everybody else I I say maybe Dracula, Redfield, and Van Helsing. I thought all their acting was pretty solid,

but everybody else was kind of, like the actress that played Mina. Lou, kind of losing me every time she opened her mouth and said words. Like, milk toast, wasn't she, she's kind of funny.

Like the later on when she becomes a vampire, and she's trying to bite Jonathan Harker, just her whole dialogue. I'm just like, can you be like the brides of Dracula, where they don't say anything. They just like stand there. Right.

But, yeah, it... I like your friend better, actually, as an actress. Oh, yeah, sure. Lucy. Yeah.

Yeah, she was better. The nurse, the nurse had funny dialogue, especially with the... I don't know what he was. Was he like an orderly or something? I guess. The guy was like,

everybody's... in here is crazy. And then he looked at her clued in you and she was like, uh-huh. And then he just backed away slowly with his shotgun. It had some comedic moments in it. It had comedic moments that early when I first watched it, I wasn't really

expecting to see that in this film because a lot of it's kind of taken seriously, even though some of the acting's kind of you know, it is what it is. Sure, sure. But super iconic film part of a iconic legacy of

universal monsters and yeah I don't really know what's more to say the story was pretty much straightforward you know he comes to London and he's trying to I don't know

get with women and eat them and they're blood I don't know just when men it doesn't matter. Honestly, I don't know. Just really coming out of this rewatch, I just really enjoyed the

Renfield character more than I enjoyed Dracula. Yeah. I just thought way, what's his name? Dwight Frye really just played this character. But Brian,

do you think maybe that's because you were knowing the other, maybe we were going to see, you were maybe focusing more on Renfield this time, or did he really steal the show that bunch? I mean, Bella Legosius, Dracula,

he does a great job, but he doesn't have that many lines in the movie. Right. I don't know. He plays it pretty stone-faced. He's kind of one note. Yeah. I mean, there's kind of levels to

Renfield in his movie. You get when he first, he's a real estate agent, so you kind of get regular Renfield. Uh-huh. You get Renfield that's kind of turned into his familiar. Then you get who goes to the asylum and he's kind of just trying to tell everybody what's going on, but they're not really.

And I don't know, I don't know what kind of asylum this is because he kept getting out. Just like the ones we got now, apparently. Not very high security. So, like, to me, there was kind of just levels in Dwight Fry's performance as his character. So I just, you might be right, Lance. It might be my anticipation. for that character to have basically his own movie kind of made me focus on him,

but I just thought it was a great character and a great job done by the actor. All right. Lance, what do you think? I think this movie did a great job with what it had to work with, especially with the setup. And there's little details that they really paid a lot of attention to.

Like, for example, when Renfield was showing up in the village, I noticed that they were speaking in a form, language, I think they went out of their way to purposely not show subtitles. And I think that was to kind of throw you off to put you in his mindset, like you're, you know, out of your element, fish out of water. You know, you're not really, you know, he was just so like, he had no idea what he was getting into. Just super naive, right? So he goes and thinks that he's going to, you know, make this deal or whatever on this great castle and make a shitload of money, commission check or whatever. And I guess this was back like during the Depression, wasn't it? Like in the 30s or we were just starting to get into the Great Depression? So it was kind of some hard times back then. I mean, I know it was in America. I'm assuming it was the same way in Europe.

But I don't know. There was a lot of great cinematography. I just, I always love that line when you first meet Dracula and he's, you hear the werewolves in the distance or whatever they are. And he's like, children of the night. What sweet music they make, you know. And I don't know. I thought his acting was great, man.

And I heard, I don't know if it's true. I tried to watch a couple episodes and see if it was the case. And I don't ever really remember her seeing her blink. But like in the series Friday, I heard that in a lot of her scenes, she purposely didn't blink. Have you guys ever heard that before? Like Wednesday, Jenna Ortega. Yeah, that makes sense.

Yeah, there was like, I think I caught her blink. once. Like, because my wife said, hey, watch this. I heard that she purposely doesn't blink in certain scenes to throw you off. So I guess, you know, maybe she was inspired a little bit by this. I didn't notice it until you guys talked about it in trivia. I didn't, I'll have to go back and watch it again. I think he did a great job. And, man, you talk about a fucking pimp, man. This guy's got three fucking wives. They know their place. They're quiet. They're quiet. They're just there to be fed. on. Yeah, they really don't play much of a part movie. They don't play much of a part, man. And then you've got, you know, like you said, you know, he gets to London and starts pimping some more and, you know, Macon and Lucy and then the other, the other chick, Mina, and, you know, like, fuck everybody else. It's just like he takes what he wants.

We're like having the most misogynistic show we've ever done tonight, I think, with this talk, but I don't know, man. It is what it is. That's the movie. It's a different time. As Ness would say, it was a different time, boys and girls. It's like he was slapping, bitches. Well, off camera, maybe he was. I don't know. He might have some of those shoes with fish inside of him that he walked around with a big jacket or something. And a cane. If anybody gets mad, we're not condoning anything. It's just jokes. Different time, different plays for some of these movies. get over here.

Oh, man. No, it was, I thought it was good. It was, it was well directed. Like, yeah, said, some of the acting was definitely wouldn't. I would agree, the main actress, yeah, they could have picked someone better.

That was, oh, my God, here we go again. That was, that was a casting couch decision, I think. No, it's just her delivery of the lines was just so, like, over-jured, like, you can, well, it was a dramatic scene, but it's just like she was like over dramatic. I know. Overacting it big time.

Especially like the scene where she's about to bite Jonathan and he just happens to be holding a cross and she's just and it turns away all dramatically. Yes. I got it. Although that's a third act kind of because Bella Lagosie did it a couple times too. He like went in for Renfield and then he saw the cross and he was like, right.

Yeah. I don't know, man. to me, the movie started out great. It got a little bit slower. And then once he got over to London, like once he got into that third act, I got lost a little bit. So I don't know, man. I know it's

iconic and all that, but probably not my favorite of the Universal Monster movies, I would say. But still a treat. Still a treat. I still like the Invisible Man. That's a great, dude. Oh, and the fly. Don't forget the fly.

The Fly. Well, the Invisible Man. I just like when he goes crazy. And, of course, you don't see him running through town, but he's, like, kicking over, like, baby carriages. That's a great one. That has so much comedy in it, man. So much comedy. They knew what they were doing. And then, of course, you got Abbott and Costello meeting all of them in later movies, which is hilarious.

Frankenstein's a great one. Right? That's what we haven't gotten to you. We haven't done a lot of... We did the mommy. We did the money. I hate the mummy. Oh, Brider Frankenstein is the best sequel of all time. It's written in stone. It won the March Madness contest. Controversially, it won. Not a lot of happy people at that one. Or with the Darth Vader, but you know. Yes, Darth Vader is the greatest horror villain.

Hey, we don't, we don't, we don't pick who's in the brain. No, we don't. The guest pick. We go from there. Everybody has an equal vote. That was my suggestion. Democacy and action. It's all right. This one, Dracula. Man, it was 1931, so it's a long time ago. Right?

There's a lot of detail in it, and I'll definitely give them that. It's very theatrical, because it seems to be based on, you know, more... Kind of like a stage play. performances, right? But there's like a whole scene where he's reading a contract. Right. Like, you could cut

45 minutes out of this movie and you would Oh, come on. Anything. It'd be a 15 minute movie. It was only like an hour and 10 minutes. Jesus. It felt like it was like six hours. Aye, aye.

Fell up. He's not wrong. There's no music or something. I don't know. He's not wrong because I saw the runtime. I, when I used to watch movies I never ever paid attention to the runtime.

Yeah. And when I was going to watch this movie, it was kind of late. And I was like, well, let me see the runtime. I'll see if I'm going to be able to stay up and watch it. And I saw the runtime. I'm like, oh, okay. I can watch this. But it did seem to just go on and on. I'm just like, fucking bite

somebody or something. I know. It liked fucking drag a lot. It was no dash cam, was it? Oh, dash cam. I still like that movie. That movie kind of hilarious, right? That movie moves.

Well, there's just like a lot of silence and dead time in this movie. Like time, like spent walking across the room. And I'm like, what are we doing? Can we not cut this shit out? But no, no Jay and Silent Bob. Oh, wouldn't it be great if Universal did Jay and Silent Bob meet and they could do the Oh, like they do. Like they did Abbott Costello, but just a Jay and Silent Bob?

Right? I would watch every single one of those. Oh, hell yeah. I'd definitely watch that. See, we're creating movies at the horror returns. Yes. They'll never see the light of the day, but we're creating them. Well, if we put it out in the universe.

The carpet match is a carpet match drinks? I'm sure Dracula's asked that many a time. Could you imagine a movie where Jay's trying to hit on the bride of Frankenstein. Oh, God. Yes, I could. I'm visualizing it right now. I just created you can connect it with the other movie. Who plays his baby mom?

What's her name? Shannon Elizabeth. Is it Shannon Elizabeth? No. She was in there, yeah. And she's not the nicest. She doesn't do podcast. She can die in the movie and Jay can bring her back, Bride of Frankenstein. Frankenstein style. Right of Frankenstein style.

There you go. Connected to the universe. But she still won't do our podcast. Right. Philip couldn't get an interview. She might after that. We came up with a pretty great idea. You got to get in touch with Kevin Smith.

Make it relevant again. Got you a job, Shannon. You're welcome. But yeah, no, I mean, it still was great. Don't get me wrong. I just, I do have the criticisms for it. And most of that probably comes from it being in 1931. But, you know, there's movies like The Invisible Man that still really hold up.

Oh, yeah. And I don't hate the mummy. You know, Bella Legosi was awesome. It just, it felt really long. There was a lot of, there was a lot of downtime in this movie. And when it's an hour and 15 minutes, that's saying a lot. Is it an hour and 15 minutes? I don't know.

I think so. This movie had to be at least two hours. It's not two hours, I guarantee you. Because I watched it during my lunch break, man. Because they go through a lot of stories, too. Yeah, they kind of do, don't they? Yeah. But in a snail's face.

It deserves credit because it goes through a lot of story quickly, but makes you feel like it's going slowly at the same time. It is. Like this fucking bat? Is this bad? An hour. An hour and 15 minutes, guys. No, it's not an hour and 15 minutes.

Is that real? Hour and 15 minutes. Oh, man, I thought it was long. I had to try three times to watch this fucking movie. Because the first time I turned it on, I'm like, I'm really not in the mood for this shit right now. 25 minutes of pop. I'm telling you, anytime Mina came on and started talking, and you probably like, I got to go see what the kids are doing.

Yeah. There's got to be something better on. All right. Scores. Brian, what did you think? Well, I don't want to keep bashing on her, but Mina was garbage in this. But Bella Lagosci was good. And we didn't really bring up.

I thought Edward Van Sloan was Van Helsing. I thought he was pretty good in it. Yeah. Sure. Sure. But for me, Dwight Frye's Renfield was the standout. I agree. For 1931, you know, the effects of everything and certain things they did with the lighting,

like Phil, you brought up with the delight over his eyes and him not blinking, that just added to the whole, his whole mystique of being Dracula, being the undead. Set design? Fucking fantastic. Mm-hmm. A little bit of the comedy there I brought up with the people that worked at the asylum That was kind of unexpected

Something I didn't remember Yeah I got it's goodball Not my favorite Universal Monster movie But I do respect The legendary Aspects of the character And the movie And

It should probably be a higher score, but I'm going to give it a seven. Not bad. Not bad at all, man. Seven, seven's commendable, respectable. That's all right. I'll take all the hate mail. Lance, what do you think? Six, six and a half. It's easy. Two-thirds's good, man. The first two acts were great. Third act to me just fell apart and dragged and got slow and yeah, six and a half. Two-thirds good. Then you didn't show him killing Dracula. I think Hammer did it better. when they only had an hour and 15 minutes.

They could have taken out the scene of him reading the fucking lease. You know what other scene that could have taken out or could have shortened when he meets Redfield and they just stare at each other for 15 minutes? Or one of the 15 times he just walks across the room with no dialogue and no music. stage play i'm going to give this one uh being generous i'm going to give it a six

oh that's not bad i bet you're going to do four on ten there for no no no no i still i still i still i appreciate what it was at the time and it is definitely uh iconic um bello logozi as Dracula. I mean, they set the stage for everything that was to come in. So they definitely was the word I'm looking for here. A iconic. A lot of, a lot of other artists, right? Yes. In fair enough. Well, well said. I try to put a new poll question every Monday in the Facebook group. Yeah. I'm interested now. I'm going to put, who's your favorite universal monster? And I'm, I'm, I'm confidently

I'm going to say that Dracula's not going to win. I know he... I think it'll be bright of Frankenstein. I think it's an iconic character and everybody knows him, but I don't think it's everybody's favorite Universal Monster movie.

The movie, maybe not, but the character on the other... I think it's a totally different animal. I think Frankenstein or the wolfman or maybe even bride of Frankenstein. I think one of those is going to win. Yeah, Wolfman was great.

We'll find out. We'll find out. You remember the dark universe that they were trying to do? Yeah. They wanted the rock to be the wolfman. Really? Or not be the human version, but when he turns out. A bald wolfman.

Oh, they were going to put hair all over him and he was going to be the wolfman. That sounds, I kind of have to see that now. Some of the casting I was cool with, like, Angelina Jolie was going to be the bride of Frankenstein. Okay. Yeah, that works. She could pull it off. Scarlett Johansson was going to be the lead actress in the, what is it, The Creature of the Black Lagoon. She was going to be the girl.

Okay. All Javier Berdem as Frankenstein, I thought would have worked. Perfect. Yeah. Oh, well. I totally could have pulled this off. It was just that stupid mummy movie was so bad. Yeah, where Tom Cruise could have been,

they should have made him Van Helsing or a descendant. Yeah, maybe. Maybe Renfield will give us fresh blood. We'll bounce off that. Well, let's get into it. We'll see. All right. So we'll move on to Renfield.

Renfield, this is codependency 101. A narcissist will take full advantage of a codependence, low self-esteem, but You're the one with the real power. And all you got to do is take it back. How do I do that? Focus on your needs. I mean, I just haven't thought about any of my needs in years.

But if you were to stop focusing on his needs, what would happen? If I don't... Yeah, what would happen? Stop focus on his needs. What would happen? He won't grow to full power. Exactly. He won't grow to full power. What? That's so...

weird. Why would you phrase it like that? But yes, he's right. So Dracula was, yeah, sorry. Renfield, Dracula's henchman, an inmate at the lunatic asylum for decades, longs for a life away from the count. His various demands and all of the bloodshed that comes with them. Director is Chris McKay, also known for the Tomorrow War and the Lego Batman movie.

Oh, there you go. Those could not be more different. Not Adam McCain. Writers are Ryan Ridley and Robert Kirkman. Oh, Robert Kirkman. Even with the long history of turning down big movies if it doesn't center on his character, Nicholas Cage, is that real? I don't know.

That seems kind of biased. I don't know, because it kind of seems like he takes whatever role. I know. What kind of propaganda am I reading here? Well, we'll read it. I'm pretty sure it might be. We already know from some past guests that IMDB is not always accurate. Well, B is in close contact with Nick.

Yes. Let us know. Is this true? So even with the long history of turning down big movie roles, if it doesn't center around his character, Nicholas Cage, agreed to play Dracula as if it was a lifelong dream for him. and he loved the comedy parts in the script. All right.

I just, I really feel like that whole sentence was very biased. I don't like it. Yeah. It sounds like the first part of that is not believable, but the last part of a lifelong dream of playing Dracula, I believe that. Yeah.

That's believable. The featured castle is called, uh, what? New Swanstein. There you go. And it was a lot better than what I was going to say. Yeah.

is located in Bavaria, Germany. It's also featured in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and is open to the public. It's not as good as it looks, though, because it was completed around 1886. That's pretty old. That's pretty old. For us, it is. Yeah. I thought you were going to say it was made of human bones by the Nazis, but okay.

No, that's the freaking, the catacom. Catacos. France, right? Yeah. Like made the movement bones. There's some weird shit around the world. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

All right. Brian, what did you think about Renfield? I had a little bit of doubt coming into this movie. Yeah. I am a Nick Cage fan. I do like Nicholas Holt. I know there's some people now all of a sudden don't like Aquafina because of the way she talks or the sound.

I like Aquafina. I think she's funny. I've always liked Aquafina. I've never understood the problem with her. Yeah, she's not doing a black cent. It's where she grew up. It's just how she talks. Yeah, so get over it.

With that all being said, I thought the whole aspect of centering the film around Renfield, I didn't know how it was going to play out. So I had my doubts coming in. But when I came in and by the end of the movie, I had a lot of fucking fun with this movie. is it the best of the year?

No. Is it one of the funniest movies I've seen? Yes, because I didn't think it was going to be so comedic. I didn't think it was going to be as action-packed as it was. Because Renfield kicks a lot of fucking ass in this movie. And I didn't even know what the rating was this movie, but by the 15th time they said fuck, in the first five minutes, I was like, okay, I know.

Yeah. We're gone. But for it being a Renfield movie, man, did Nick Cage steal the movie as Dracula? Yeah. Right. I mean, he was just hamming it up. You can tell reading into trivia about him wanting to always play Dracula and then finding the comedic points of the character interesting. Well, and they even remade some of the old scenes.

Yeah. Sure they did. Like the down the hallway with the light on the eyes. Yeah. They superimposed the faces. This might be a little bit of a spoiler, but you don't need to watch the original film. They perfectly encapsulate the movie in like a little two-minute montage. Which it could have been, right, Philip?

It could have been the two-minute movie. It could cut that that shit and have. But I'm glad that I did watch it before I watched it. Yeah, me too. That was awesome. That added an element to it for sure. but yeah Aquafina I thought she

was funny in this and she was kind of playing the character more straightforward than she usually does you know playing a cop you know or surrounded by you know corrupt cops in her in her force um I thought the one guy what is his name

Ben Schwartz as Teddy Teddy Lobo I thought he was hilarious the guy from Parch and Rec I love that guy Is that he's playing he's playing this kind of he's a mob he's part of a mafia type family a lot of shades of cocaine bear in this movie yeah he he's part of this mafia family he tries to

play it off like he's tough but he's kind of a pussy through most of the movie it's exactly like if his character from parks and rec was in the mob okay okay there you go makes sense then he's in character just like rinfield um i love all the callbacks to all the Dracula or vampire lore and then they kind of added to it we'll get more into it the whole aspect of Renfield eating bugs they kind of

yeah made it useful in this movie and other than the fact of him just eating bugs just because I don't really know what much to say without spoiling anything I just I thought it was a super fun movie all right Lance I don't yeah

I won't give anything away that's not in the trailer until we get into spoilers. Because I was, like Brian, I was also pleasantly surprised. And like you two, I love Aquafina, man. There's nothing she's ever done that I haven't just loved her character. And even animated shit, she's got a great voice for animated movies. Yeah, that's very distinctive. When I hear her, if there was an animated movie or animated movie that I watched, the next movie I watch is animated.

I don't know who any of the movies. voice cast is I will pick her voice out. Like the bad guys. Yeah. That was a good one. That was a great cast, man. Yeah, no, it was, it was a ton of fun. And you guys know I'm a sucker for anything that takes place in New Orleans.

And you know that if you've seen the trailer. That was very prominent. It was very obvious that was going to be there. I didn't really notice that in the trailer. But when I seen it in the theater, I was like, just this has to. peak Lance's interest as soon as I saw the background location. Well, she's got that line in the movie, which is, I guess it's not really a spoiler, where she's like, they've got me doing DUI in a town that has dry...

Their Jackry's. It was a great, like, hey, what are we doing here? Lots of comedy in this movie. It very much earned its R rating. I was shocked with the amount of gore. very, very gleefully, pleasantly shocked with the amount of gore and the way that they pulled it off, which will save for spoilers. But yeah, man, AJ wasn't as impressed with it as I was. She came to see it. Well, she thought it was going to be serious. She said, I didn't know this was

going to be such a comedy. And what? You know, yeah, she said, I thought this was going to be a serious story. She did not see the trailer? I think the only thing she's seeing Nicholas Holton is mostly more serious roles. She's probably thinking of them from the menu, probably the last thing she's seen. I think you're right. That is the last thing she saw with me, with him in it.

So I think that kind of took her back a little bit. But yeah, one of the funnest times I've had in the theater this year so far. So will it be in the top 10? Maybe, maybe not. But enjoyable flick, man. I loved it. Yeah. Nicholas Hold has got some comedic job.

that I kind of know where he's he's really good in that TV show The Great where he plays Peter the Great yeah he's uh he's kind of like he's so serious that he's comedic if that makes sense it's like he he goes full circle he he's he's got range

because you know he did this which was more comedic action he did the menu which what's her name old Far Part I was punched him in the face I wanted to punch him in the face in the face

the way he played it. Old Far Barth Eyes. Even going to what's the Mad Max Ferry Road? Yeah. Yeah. The X-Men movies? Yeah, he's got range.

Oh yeah. I forgot he was in those. Yeah. But yeah, I was totally expecting this movie to kind of suck. Because I was like, Nicholas. Cage is Dracula?

I mean, it looks like it could be really, like it had the potential to be really bad. And it totally wasn't. It was amazing. I had so much fun with this movie. There were so many times where I just laughed out loud, like watching it, whether it was because it was Nick Cage being Nick Cage and like would do something. Even with all the heavy makeup at the beginning. Yeah. would just do something goofy.

You're the boys, though. I can't do beats Nick Cage. Still sort of kept up that Bella Legosi Dracula character. It was like, it was a good, like, tightrope walking thing that he did there. And I love that. And, and, yeah, I think, uh, what's his nut did great as Renfield. Mm-hmm. You know, like, dude, he was.

completely I mean okay so Nicholas Cage really stole the show but Nicholas Holt was was really good man

he was on point all the comedy was pretty good I liked his character I liked I liked some of the messaging that they had you know what I mean

it was like being a codependent yeah like the codependent stuff oh god like the AA meeting yeah it worked because everybody's mostly there for relationships

and then they think he's there because of, I mean, it is his boss. And that's all in the trailer. So, yeah. Well, and then he watches Aquafina stand up to, you know, the bad guy, even though right, right. She's like,

completely outgunned and outmatched. She's like, standing on principle, the good guys fucking win in this movie. She is like the rabbit in Zootopia. She reminded me of the Happen's utopia. Trying to make it on the police force.

That's a good... You don't have enough of that good guys win. You know what? Even in the face of danger, even in the face of everything... Stand your ground. ...is going to hate you. Stand your ground or the monsters win. And I love that.

I like that. Good message. Yeah. What did you guys think? Okay, I'm reading here. Nick Cage mentions an American werewolf in London. A 1998's ring in 2021's malignant as inspirations for his role. That makes no fucking sense at all.

I have no idea what he was. But somehow in Nicholas Cage's mind, it worked. In his mind, yeah. It worked. He had a lot of acid before. Yeah, the dude definitely trips. There's no doubt he trips. And I can't even remember specifically what it was that he did,

but there was this one scene and like in the like mid. line he does this thing and I can't remember what it was but he just like makes a noise and it made me laugh so far it'll come it'll come back to you it was a lot of it is so great it was it was a lot of the

the way he delivered lines and his body movement and stuff like that and just like the scenes where Renfield's trying to stand up to him and Nicholas Cage is like oh poor Renfield you know just kind of yeah so

sarcastic. Yeah, it was so much better than I expected it to be. I had like such a good time. Will it ended up in my top 10? Maybe. I don't know, man. I had a really good time with it. A whole lot more than I, I sort of expected this to suck.

No pun intended. Yeah. Blah, blah. All right, scores. Brian? Right now, this is an easy eight for me. I had a blast at the theater. I took my daughter to see it because she wanted to see Renfield and people did rise.

And I was like, well, we got one this week and we got one next week. Thank God. Some new movies, man. Yeah. Had a blast with it. I didn't think it was going to be as gory as it was with all the – I didn't – Matter of fact, I didn't even expect the action to be that much as it was.

Oh, shit. Action was amazing. Yeah. It was especially one scene towards the end, I'm sure we'll talk about. In the motel? I was like, dude, I was dying laughing while they were doing the action scene. I was like, this is fucking great. Yeah, it's so much more than I expected.

I had so much fun with it. It is a perfect blend of horror, action, and comedy. I thought the cast was great. Even the little side actors, like the, the lobo family the mother of the lobo family with that just crazy and everything she's in voice yeah

I love her I thought everybody was great you know what still would so right now it's an easy eight and I can see this being something that of course everybody knows

I'm a physical media collector that when I when I buy this movie I can see me putting it on a lot it will it will probably come with a pair of Brian it will probably come with a pair of vampire teeth in the box oh I can put in it I can look like Nicholas Cage from yeah it's right that's right uh Lance what do you think eight and a half eight and a half yeah this is holy man wow that's the high score for you yeah it's got everything man it's got the it's got the it's got the gore it's got the action it's got the comedy it's got people that I love. It's got Nicholas Cage's fucking count Dracula, man. Come on. Easy,

eight and a half. Easy eight and a half. Um, yeah, I think I'm going to have to agree with you, eight and a half on this one. Nice. I'd give it a nine. Right. But that may change. It's not perfect. It's not perfect. I reserve the right. It is rewatchable, unlike the 1931. Right. It's my self rewatched this is a lot. I think comedies. inherently are more rewatchable than any other genre. Which is why I don't understand why you get such hate among the critics. Well, fuck the critics.

Yeah. But this one just inserts just enough comedy to elevate it a little to the next level. I think they did a good job with it. I had a lot of fun. I had a great time. Agreed.

Yeah, and laughed out loud many, many times. Even though there were like four people. there. Yeah, that's great. Did you take your pants off? Thought about it. Somebody had to sit in the same goddamn row. Of course.

All right, spoilers. This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. You've been fucking warned. This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. You've been fucking warned. This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. you've been fucking warned This is

Just jump right into the action I mean Yeah I didn't expect that at all This guy is ripping limbs off And using them as like spears Yeah That was my favorite part

Same here And the scene at the end With what was his name Teddy Lobo Right I would have allowed my child To cuss out loud Because she looked like she had that

look, what the fuck? When he spin kicked him so hard, not only did he shatter all his bones in the body. Oh, yeah, it showed the x-ray. Not only did that happen, and he threw up blood. He also shit himself. That's right. That was awesome.

That was great. That is something I just seeing the trailer and thinking what I thought of Renfield, I did not think we were going to get that kind of scene. I didn't either. Not totally taken aback by that, man. Totally surprised. The thing that warned me was that first action scene where he's in there, like,

and he's about to take somebody's fucking boyfriend who's an asshole back to Dracula. Oh, that's right. And then they have some sort of, yeah, like some sort of... Drug deal gone wrong. ...cumns to kill him. Oh, yeah. But it's like some gigantic dude in a mask with guys. And I was like, what the fuck did I get myself into here?

We should have been on acid or streams for this thing, man. Like, what kind of assassin is this? I think I know where we're going at this point. It doesn't take too far in the movie to figure that out, is it? But it was kind of great, man. I love that. I love that part. I love that he punched that fucking head clean off.

Yep. And then, yeah, the best part was when he rips that guy's arms off and then, like, javelings them in to two other guys to save awkward. Killing somebody in a fork in the Cajun restaurant. Yeah. She was like, did you just cut a guy's arms off with a serving platter? He's like, what do you say? He's like adrenaline.

Right. But she did her, she did well in the action scenes herself. She was badass. Sure. She really was. Yeah. She had some pretty cool moments. And I wondered if, because she's, she's in Shang-Chi.

I wonder if she's continued training, because I know she trained a lot from that movie. She looked kind of thick, but like in a strong way. And the way she played her role was, it was serious, but it was just, there was little shit I was laughing, like the way she walked, like the scene where she's arguing with her sister,

who's an FBI agent, and they kind of go to separate waves, and she's just kind of waddling away. She kept turning around. Yeah, I don't know why. It just made me. laugh because her character is so serious, but she's like saying and doing shit that's making you laugh. Yeah.

And I don't think anybody else could have probably got me to laugh like that other than Aquafina. That's why I think she's hilarious. You know, little things like that that somebody else would have done probably wouldn't have got the same response out of me. Agreed. And then there was a whole scene where Nicholas Cage at the beginning, and his face is like half gone. He said that the prosthetics, but you can still hear that Nicholas Cage voice.

But you can't even hardly tell that it's him. Right, right. A lot of practical effects, right? Yeah. So I definitely got to give him some credit for that. I did not see that scene coming. I didn't either. And that was because he got burned, right?

Yeah. Almost got taken down by the Pope or whatever. And you know that the guy playing the Pope was William Ragsdale Was it really? Charlie Brewster from Fright Night. No way! I did not notice that at all, man.

He was in there, and I don't know where she was, but Caroline Williams. She was Stretch and Texas Chainsaw Masker 2, the radio DJ. No shit. She was in the movie, too. I had no idea. And then I loved the support group. I thought they were all hilarious. Like the guy that...

Oh, yeah. You know, because they're in the... It's in the trailers a bunch, and I was like, man, I'm going to get sick of this guy real fucking quick. But, like, the guy... You really didn't. Yeah. I loved him in every scene that he was in. I just love that he just completely just thought he was talking about a workplace boss the whole time.

And he's just like, that's so odd, you would word it that way, but yes. But yeah, that's really weird. Which is a scene from the trailer... I see we're dealing now with something a lot different than what I thought. Well, and it was a line from the trailer that it was like, all right. It was a roll your eyes funny, but it's a whole lot harder in the movie when he said, like, that was funny. That was good at the situation. And the other part of the group where he always kept interrupting that one lady, and she was just like,

I got me and my problems. And I get a fucking share out. Jesus. Is there anything else? I think we covered a lot. I mean, just really see the fucking movie. I mean, it's just not what I was expecting at all. I mean, I knew the comedy would be there.

I knew it was going to be not to be taken seriously. But like you said, Ryan, once you got 15 f-bums. Oh, yeah, the superpowered. I love that he gets, he gets powers. He gets the energy. from bugs. Right. It's just not in the other movies.

It's just not in the other movies where, what does he say he gets their life force when he eats bugs or something? Yeah. Maybe they'll embellish that. Like I said, I'd love to see a universal, Dark Universe was a fucking bomb, so I'd love to see a universal series

starting with this one. I would love to see how they bring, comedy action. I would love to see how they bring Dracula back since they chopped them up. Oh, he'll put them in the subat. It's Dracula, man. He could turn into a wap.

A vape. He can turn into bats. And it's not completely without plot holes. It's, you know, like there was. Well, even the bugs thing, it was like, well, what would happen if he ate a person? Would that not give him, like, more power? Well, he's not a vampire. I mean, I guess. The vampire blood thing was kind of neat, right?

Yeah. Were you before vampire blood? Oh, I was thinking that's seekful, all those. people are going to come back as vampires now, aren't they? I loved the one scene. I had to, I do explain it to my daughter because, you know, she doesn't really know, like, the vampire rules of when he comes home and Dracula's already in his home and then he looks down at his door and says, welcome, man.

That was great. And he was just like, fuck. It said, welcome, come on in. That was really corny. And I had to lean over and explain to her. It was like, the vampire can't enter your heart. Oh. Like when he goes to the support group and the guy's like, well, come on in, stranger.

He's like, no. Well, okay. And when they opened the, the bay doors and the sunlight comes in through the windows. Yes. At the very end. And then for some reason, suddenly, Renfield and Aquafina are someplace completely different. I didn't notice that. movie magic.

Yeah. I was like, weren't they just in that room with all the sunlight? Aren't they like safe now? I'll talk it up to movie magic. Yeah,

like he explodes and turns into a bunch of bats and flies off. Right. And suddenly he's in a different place. We brought up cocaine bear. They made a cocaine protection circle with cocaine. Oh, yeah.

That was pretty good. According to, what was it? Whitchavedia? Or wicket or wicket. Wiccan Pedia or whatever. Any powder you can't have as long as you say the right words and there was cocaine around. Yeah.

I think there was more bricks of cocaine in this movie than cocaine bear. Pretty sure it's got to be salt. Try selling that's a Dracula, man. I guess so. All right. You're ready to close it out? Yeah. Good movie, man.

Had fun. Yeah. All right. Well, as always, we want to thank you. guys for listening to another episode of the horror returns or watching us on the YouTube channel. Subscribe. Hit those like buttons, folks. What do they say?

Like in the movies like Dashcam. Be sure to jam those likes, baby. And, you know, slam that. I don't know what these kids say these days. I found the video of my daughter when she was like five. Doing that? Yeah. She was like, hit that like button and subscribe and da-na-da-da.

We got to get that on here. Yeah. I may have to throw it on them at the end. Well, we need more feedback. That's for damn sure. We're not getting enough feedback. So please go into our Facebook group. That's the best place to go.

But just email us at thehorror returns at gmail.com. Everything we have is at thehorrorreturns.com. Brian, I'm going to get the links up for your newest wrestling returns and your newest action returns. Oh, and thank you to everybody for listening to. of the last episode, The Psycho 1 and 2. That's done really well for us, surprisingly. I mean, not surprising. People love Psycho, man.

Faster than our other ones have done. So, appreciate everybody listening. People love Psycho, man. That's why you listen to the horror returns. You're a little touched. Follow our social links. Please consider becoming a Patreon patron. Even just a dollar a month helps out more than you ever know.

Next week, another new movie. Yes, we're going to check out the brand new Evil Dead Rise. Unfortunately, I didn't realize that Bo is Afraid came out the same week. So I'm just going to have to go catch that one. Maybe that'll be my cool of the week. But we're also going to see 2013, not the original, but 2013's Evil Dead. So see how much we like that. Philip, until the horror returns again.

Good night. Oh, man, I thought you were going to do a Nicholas Cage, Dracula. Good night. There we go. That was terrible.