The Horror Returns - THR - Ep #378: Killer Klowns From Outer Space (1988) Commentary

Episode Date: August 23, 2023

This week we are joined by our Patreon Patron Sean Henry to cover his commentary pick, Killer Klowns from Outer Space. Cool of the Week includes Special Ops: Lioness, Oppenheimer, Mayans, Twisted Metal, Shattered, and Blue Beetle. The podcast spotlight shines on So I Married A Horror Fan. AND A HUGE SHOUTOUT TO OUR NEWEST PATREON PATRON HEATHER POWELL! Thanks for listening! The Horror Returns Website: https://thehorrorreturns.com THR YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/@thehorrorreturnspodcast3277 THR Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thehorrorreturns THR Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thehorrorreturns/ Join THR Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1056143707851246 THR X: https://twitter.com/horror_returns?s=21&t=XKcrrOBZ7mzjwJY0ZJWrGA THR Instagram: https://instagram.com/thehorrorreturns?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= THR TeePublic: https://www.teepublic.com/user/the-horror-returns SK8ER Nez Podcast Network: https://www.podbean.com/pu/pbblog-p3n57-c4166 E Society Spotify For Podcasters: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/esoc E Society YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCliC6x_a7p3kTV_0LC4S10A Music By: Steve Carleton Of The Geekz

Hey all you clowns out there, stay tuned for the killer clowns commentary coming up on the horror returns. This is Mike Martinez, Slim from Killer Clowns. We're going to be doing a commentary on thehorror Returns.com. Thank you. Kings victims, for those of you delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify go, welcome, you have found the place where the horror returns. Listeners beware. This podcast contains major plots. Spoilers and the foulest of language. Join us in celebrating the old and the new,

the best, and the worst in horror. The horror returns. I am Lance, and as always, co-hosts Brian and Philip. Nes might stop by. We'll put him down for 50-50 right now. But this is a Patreon show. This is we finally get around to our commentary for Sean Henry. What's up, Sean?

Hey, what's up? Everyone. I appreciate the opportunity to be back on again. I always love it. Was it the forbidden zone or did you do the Bay with us? Oh, you didn't do the Bay. You did? No, no, I did.

Yeah, I did the Bay. And I was like, holy shit, like 10 minutes in, yeah. All right. So we're ready. Did you do the Forbidden Zone with us? shit that's a good question i think i think i did actually i'm not john you pointed out the blackface 10 minutes into or 2 30 seconds into the movie yeah first scene in the forbidden zone yeah that's right yeah that's right so oh man all right this movie i've ever watched for sure yeah our friends at the

podcast that wouldn't die, Brian, didn't care for it very much. I wonder why. It's not awesome. But it's definitely the weirdest movie you've ever seen. That is for sure.

Well, Sean, you're kind of our commentary guy, man. So we're finally getting around to yours. What a shocker. Thank you. I love this movie, and I just figured it would be hell entertaining to quote Nez

and just a lot of fun. Nice. We're glad to have you, dude. What's up with you, man? You're in Tennessee now? Yeah, so I moved up to Tennessee. I recently finished my master's, and now I moved, I had to pivot to, from working for the airlines to now I'm a mental health counselor. So I'm dealing with crazy people in the airlines to crazy people in real life. You know, just getting paid to talk to them. But I'm getting either way, I was getting paid to talk to crazy people, you know, to be fair. But maybe slightly less dangerous. Yeah.

Yeah. Actually, I think the airline people are more dangerous than most of the crazies that I've dealt with so far. That's what I'm thinking. Yeah. Yeah. You can be our official podcast counselor. How about that? Okay.

Yeah, absolutely. Happy to, you know, provide some therapy. I have a mental health day. Yeah. All right. So Killer Clowns is on the agenda tonight, folks. But shit. Sean, you know how this starts, man.

We got anything's going with Cool of the Week, man. What's you got? Cool of the week, Oppenheimer, for sure. And I also got to give a shout out to Lioness, the TV show on Paramount Plus. Ah, Taylor Sheridan, right? Yeah, I'm not big on the rest of his shows. I'll be honest. My wife loves him.

I don't. But that's just my jam. But Lioness, yeah, it's badass from the first episode onward. So I definitely suggest people to check it out. That's what Zoe Satana, right? Yes, and she is fantastic in it. And it's got Nicole Kidman, and she's great at playing an asshole. Shocker.

Shocker. That's true. At this point, I'm like, I wonder what she's like in real life, because I imagine a total bitch. There's no way she could be a nice person. I'm sorry. I know that makes me liable for, um, allegedly, she's not a nice person. Let me say it like that. It's just a guess.

Maybe she's just a really good actress. Probably not, though. She's probably a, probably a royal bitch. Yeah, I think so. So, yeah, those would be my coolest of the week. Not cool would be still trying to find a place to live in the Knoxville area. And it is, it's hell of hard. You know, it's not easy, huh?

No, the market's saturated and everything's gone up in price after COVID. Like, tons of people moved to East Tennessee. so it's not cheap like it used to be. All right. I'm going to throw mine out real quick and get it over with because I finally found one, guys, between all the shit I haven't been watching,

but Mayans, I got to give some love to final season of Mayans. So you're the one still watching. It's so incredibly bad. It's, um, let me put it to you this way. If you guys think, uh,

Sons of Anarchy jumped the shark, two or three seasons, toward the end. Mayans jumped over the shark, went back and grabbed the shark, got into a helicopter with the shark, threw the shark out of the helicopter and paraciled all the way down. This TV show is so incredibly badly fun. It's a lot of fun to watch. So picture this, if you will, you've got the Mayans versus the sons of anarchy, okay? No. So there's a, yeah, there's a motel scene, right, where they're having a, they're having a fight. Yeah, it starts out as just kind of like a little bit of a brawl in the lobby. So, you know, the guy's kind of like, okay, you guys need to

cool it down a little bit, sit behind the desk, and they turn around and shoot him. They turn around and shoot the guy at the desk in the motel. And then all of a sudden, everybody pulls out like automatic machine guns. What guy throws a grenade? I was going to say, their gun owners, they probably got like a rocket launcher's and trapped his lungs. Dude, it's a 30 minute fight scene. Not one cop shows up. The fire

department is nowhere in sight. Not a single ambulance to be seen and there's at least 50 casualties. Yeah. You thought John Wick was far-fetched with going, you know, backwards around the Arch de Triomp and no cop showing up. This takes

the cake, man. So bad. You thought John Wick was far-fetched. I love John White for it. That was amazing. It was pretty awesome. My Cool of the Week, the Mayans, so bad it's good. This is the final season? Thank God.

Well, I'll jump in. I am not entirely caught up. I haven't finished the whole season, but I've been watching Twisted Metal. Nice. Perfectly good things. It's pretty good, man. It's pretty good, man. a whole lot more fun than I expected. I totally agree with Brian. Maybe Captain America is not,

I mean, I don't know, maybe it's just written that way, but he's seen... I heard he's trying to be too goofy, right? He's trying to be quippy. Yeah, it's trying to... It's like a little more lighthearted, like that character is a little more lighthearted than like the whole rest of the show. Yeah. Maybe that's on purpose. I don't know. could very well be but it's it's still a lot of fun to watch and I do like the guy

and uh yeah and it's got the chick from Brooklyn 9 9. Okay. Who did the Disney movie. She voiced the Encanto character.

Did she really? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, interesting. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. The main character from Encanto. She voiced, her and and so she's like the other main character in the show and it's they have a lot of

back and forth it's a lot of fun I really like her too so uh yeah I'm enjoying it nice and I don't even I don't even hate the voiceover for uh oh for the the rest of the place the Twisty the clown or whatever yeah like yeah that that was a personal thing for me I'd just so used to Samoa Joe listening to your promos and I'm just like, he's a great talker on the mic, so why, by, he's not a name like Will Arnett. Yeah. It's still, I don't understand quite why you did that, but it doesn't take me out of it because it's not like you can see the guy's mouth moving when he's talking anyway. And he's super, like, goofy and fun, but incredibly crazy.

Yeah. I like it. Is that it? Yeah. Okay. I was, I did watch some things. I'm saving newer release horrors. I'm trying to stockpile them up for October.

So I'm going to be watching some older stuff that I didn't get a chance. And we were all supposed to guest on Matt and Kate show, so I'd watch some a little bit more extreme titles. Sounds that way. I'm sorry. But Kate got sick. get better. So we'll postpone that show. So I'll wait to talk about some of them. But I tried to

get in some quick things. I watched a couple short action movie shorts. They were actually pretty good. One was called Uncharted versus Indiana Jones versus Tomb Raider. All right. And this was all, this is about an

eight minute short film. Okay. It's clearly it's all acted by stunt performers because the choreography and the stunts were on point. And it's just essentially what if Indiana Jones, Laura Croft and Nathan Drake all met at the same place, trying to get the same thing.

Sounds kind of funny. It's kind of like the epic rap battles a little bit. Yeah. And it was pretty good. As far as them portraying the characters, it was pretty good. I'm not familiar with Nathan Drake, so I don't know if he's supposed to be as goofy as the guy was portraying him. to be.

Indiana Jones, he had the little hat tilt. Of course, he wanted the artifact because it belongs in a museum. I thought that was a pretty good

one. I'm going to post it in Action Returns on Facebook. Then I checked out another one. It's more of an action comedy.

It's called Speed Dating. It's a short film. Okay. That's an action comedy. That has promise to it. Yeah. Like the 40-year-old version where a boob pops out?

Actually, it's a very, very attractive young lady. Goes on to speed dating, you know, where it's like they're on a date for like five minutes or something. And they kind of go to the next person. Everybody's a dick. She's just kind of over it. And some people show up looking for someone called the, Silver Fox, which is a special agent.

And it turns out to be her. And she kicks a lot of ass. And I had to look her up because I had to know, because she did a pretty good job. And I had to see if she was a stunt performer. I think her name, she's not even top build, which is crazy.

Elise Lavel Andrade, I think, is her name. And not a stunt woman. Used to be a model. But trains and boy tie. So I guess that helped a lot with her fight choreography. So a lot of fun with that one.

Okay. I'll post that one in the Facebook group too. Yeah, they need to make that into a full movie, man. That's 10 times better than half the shit they put on Netflix these days and call it. Is anybody seen the latest Indiana Jones? No, I'm waiting. Oh, you have? Was it any good?

How does it compare to Oppenheimer? The CG is really bad, CGI. A lot of fire. Yeah. Oh, boy. Yeah, I figured. It's like crystal skull. A lot of D-Aging.

Obviously, it didn't do well. I was expecting a lot of CG because Harrison's like, what, 97 years old? 97? I don't know. I think he's in the 80s, but yeah. 185. He's a horrible pilot at this point, but yeah. Is it at least better than Crystal Skull?

Yes, it is better in Crystal Skull, definitely. I heard that that's why he wanted to do it. He didn't want to go out on Christmas School. A lot of people trash it and say that it's just, it's the exact same. And it's not as better. It's just the CGI should have, for the amount that it had, it should have been better, or they should have just done practicals. But that's my biggest scribe with it.

The story actually was kind of interesting. And then the ending, you're either going to love it you're going to hate it. Ah, okay. I'll leave it at that. Yeah, I think it's going to be on Disney Plus in like a couple weeks. Oh, okay, sweet. Can wait.

Cool, the week will go to a thriller. I was kind of searching Tobey just to see what it had on there. And then I've seen the poster on there for a movie called Shattered. And on the poster was a couple of actors I recognized, John Malkovich and Frank Grillo. Oh, wow. But they are not the main stars, though. I don't recognize the main guy. Cameron Monaghan.

That sounds familiar, I feel like, but it may just be the name. And then the main actress is Lily Krug, and on the postage has her acting debut. And essentially, it's this super rich tech guy going through a divorce. he's kind of a what do you call it antisocial so he has this big house he like I said he's going through a divorce

and the wife has the daughter and just one night he goes out to the supermarket to get some ice cream and he meets this woman they spark up a conversation and then they get involved and then she's basically the wrong woman to get involved with because she kind of kidnaps him

and keep the prisoner in his own house. Whoa. Okay. And this is before Frank Grillo and John Malkovich even even show up. Yeah, so I thought it was a decent

thriller. The main actress, Lily Krug, played The Crazy Lady. I thought for her first movie, I thought she did really good. And she just kind of not over the top crazy, but just you kind of knew like she had

ulterior motives because she's basically she knows he's a rich tech guy so she's after his stuff and it goes into some other things and she does some some torturous things to him with the drill gun

oh no yeah so that sounds uncomfortable I thought for something that I came across on Tooby I thought you know because there's a lot of good stuff on 2B, but there's a lot of shit on 2B, too. Yeah.

That's fair. What was the Australian one, Brian, where they kidnapped the guy because she wanted him to take her to the prom. So they had their own. The loved ones. Yeah. Was it like that? Sounds like it a little bit. No, it wasn't as extreme as that drill scene.

Okay. But I just would hate to have that happen to me. Yes. And his, at the state, he was in. have children again. Oh, well, it wasn't like that. Okay. I was going to say, wow.

Oh, real quick, I watched, because we were watching killer clowns. Sure. Yeah. What is it, Keoto or Chioto? Keoto. Keoto. You'll hear the intro. Yeah, I wanted to get some Keoto brothers in, so I'll rewatch Critters.

Oh, I love Critters. One of their creations was the Critters. Okay. If I was going to do Cia brothers, it would definitely be Team America World Police. The good old film actors guild, which you're currently in the truck. I actually watched that a couple weeks ago. And it's classic, man. Still holds out, but you can't make it today. No, not at all.

Dicks, Pussies, and Assholes. Three kind of people of this world. See, I remember specific scenes from it, but I'm going to have to re-watch that movie. Yeah, very extensive love-making scenes. Yes, I definitely remember that one. Multiple positions. It was pretty funny, though. But, yeah, that's pretty much all the other stuff I'll say for a Matt and Kate show,

because I, those were a couple of movies, a couple of movies that I, I didn't feel good watching after. I'm not talking about the main ones either. Just some extras. We'll talk about it. Yeah. For Matt and Kate's show is that apologies to Jaws the Revenge for giving it my first zero. It didn't deserve it because it's about to get knocked out.

And I'll leave it at that. Wow. I won't say which film, but. Yeah, I may have to get away from you guys because I can't find it. I can send you a link. And then I'll hate myself in the morning, but I'll send it to you. There it is. All right.

Hate you for sending him that link, too. Well, I guess I just didn't watch it then. You'll be okay if you never. If anybody wants to know, we're talking about Silo. It'll be a replay of Last Voyage of the Demeter. Oh, crap. Where nobody watched it. All right.

But tonight won't be. Well, we're going to skip some horror headlines in Trailup Park, but they'll return next week since we're doing the commentary. But we do have a little bit of listener feedback. We have a podcast spotlight that we're going to shine on So I Married a Horror fan. A husband and wife horror podcast, Simon loves horror. Lee, not so much. Or Lay, I'm not sure, sorry. But join them as they go into this horror journey together.

And we have a brand new Patreon patron. So thank you to Heather Powell. Hey. All right. Heather, don't forget to send us your three movie picks as well as a commentary. and our show intro and all of our new logos come from Steve Carlton from the geeks and be on the lookout for some more great stuff from him. Of course, our original skull artwork comes from Natsulani.

And help us out by becoming a Patreon patron. We'll let you pick the movies for a future show and pick the commentary for a dollar. Yeah, just a dollar. Just a dollar. Can I get a dollar? Let me just hold. Featured attractions. This week, we're going to do killer clowns from outer space.

Some trivia from 1988. Aliens who look like clowns come from outer space. Is it the aliens that look like clowns or is it the clowns that look like aliens? I think we need to be specific. We're going to find out. What came first, the egg of the chicken? and they terrorize a small town. Director is Stephen Kyoto.

Writers are Stephen Charles and Edward Kyoto, also known for the effects on Team America World Police, Critters, and Theodore Rex. Wait, Theodore Rex. With Whoopi Goldberg, right? I remember that. I don't even remember that movie. I don't know what that is.

A break dancing dinosaur. With the kid from, was it last action hero oh yeah it was I didn't know that he did anything else he was the male version of Lulu Wilson I gotcha yeah that makes sense although when I was a kid

and I watched live last action hero yeah I didn't hate it near as much as everybody else did that's an underrated movie before it's time it's the kid that killed it's the kid that killed it. Yeah, it really is. He's not good.

He even snuck it up and I'm doing deep cuts here. My Girl, too. Oh, right. Oh. He was terrible. He was that too. He should have stayed doing

Theodore Rex movies. Yeah, there it is. Seems like one of those kids. All right. The scene in which a car is thrown over a cliff was initially intended to be a far more spectacular scene. But the car was to fly over a cliff and crash down to the ground. Unfortunately, the

sling rope snapped because the special effects crew members neglected to remove the stoppers from underneath the car's wheels. Uh-oh. The result was what is seen in the final film, and the car slowly tumbles over the edge and becomes caught by a tree. But they only have the one car, so, you know. Yes. The $2 million budget went primarily to production costs. The clowns and visual effects were created almost entirely by the filmmakers at very little cost. And it shows. All right.

So let's get started with killer clowns from outer space. We're going to watch it on the free YouTube version. So some ads are going to pop up. But we'll skip them as quickly as we. can and talk shit about the movie while it's while it's going or you know maybe not it's it is kind of awesome but it's fun to talk shit about so what are you going to do all right killer clowns from out of space yell at me at the volume is weird it's weird no i'm just glad we have brisk for walking back killer clowns from out of space the clowns

we have a black screen Oh, no, dude, really? Here we go. Oh, shit. Oh, because it's free on YouTube. Motherfuckers. I think... It's because they paid for it.

All right, hang on. I'll fix it. Maybe the method that we... Yeah. Yeah. It's just going to take a minute. Sorry, guys. I can bring up some of the cast.

All right. Good deal, because I'm not going to edit this shit out. This starts. Grant Kramer, Suzanne Snyder, Josh Allen Nelson, John Vernon. What was it? What was the officer's name? Mooney. I thought you said John Burns.

Like, okay. Yeah, the older cop was funny because he's such an asshole. Yeah, he's such an asshole. Everything he's in. And the late great Royal Dano. Oh, yeah. Whenever I think of him, I think of, oh God, the name of the movie just left me, but it's, uh,

uh, yep, completely gone. When I come back to it, I'll let you know, Jesus, Blankin. Oh, God. Is that one time with the guy? Yeah. Well, he's got a long list of movies. He's been acting since the 50s. Sure. It was in the 90s and it involved little green spacemen. You can't think of the 90s. Oh, uh, space, space invaders. Yes, yes, space invaders. Fuck a duck.

That was bad. Yeah, it was. Hey, here we go. Hey, all right, and no interruptions. Okay. So forget about the thing I said with the ads. Okay. I hope.

I love the music. It's like, you can tell it's an 80. is probably. 1988 was a good time. Oh, yeah. Especially if you like cocaine. John Vernon, Officer Mooney. Is it too loud or we good?

That's great. Yeah, we're good. We're in a jazzercise class. The music. So most of the $2 million went to making the song. for killer clowns. Is that what it was? Yeah.

These clowns are going to make you die. Everybody's running. I'm reading the lyrics. When the circus comes to town. Yeah, probably did. And then like four locations. Right? Proton.

Coffee mug to Big Top Burger. Get some coffee. Sure. Sure. I got them fuck around. Yeah. God damn cups. he looks like an asshole cop

like yeah I'm not taking your cup I bring my own and it better be free I took his hat off to get in the car to put it back on what's he buying beer at the Goodwill store I like how it's beer brand of beer

yeah what was that movie Lance repo man everything was just generic tuna beer. I remember in Austin.

I lived in Austin. They had a bar. It's not there anymore, but it was called Joe's generic bar. And all they served was that white, white, pan with the black lettering beer on it. That's awesome.

Check in with you, Lady. Make out point. Anybody's hometown actually have that because we definitely did not. Are you sure? Maybe just, just right with the cool kids.

It's a very good possibility that maybe I just didn't know about it. Yeah, we had a place, but everybody, of course, fucked it up for everybody else. Of course. That's why we can't have nice things in Alaska, brain. That's what I always say. This reminds me of Cheech and Chong's nice dreams. Yes, it does have that vibe. Right?

It's like an ice cream. MC. Right. Oh god. Wow. You drink a champagne? Yeah, champagne made in a toilet, I'm sure. That's what it looks like, yeah, prison champagne, huh? Yep. See, but if they had beer in there, I bet you they'd sell the shit out of it.

Oh, no doubt. Or weed. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Oh, there you go, a weed truck. Like ice dreams. Yeah. Hey, what are you guys trying to pull here? Hey, man, you guys want to bomb pop? Yeah, you said we could have all the ice cream we wanted, but you didn't say anything about parking. What kind of girls you think we are? Jesus.

You want you to take us home right now. Yeah. Take it easy. Keep your shirt on. Don't worry, we intend to. We intend to. Well, this worked out just great. Don't blame me.

I didn't want to come here. Hey, I want to we try to drive it? Oh, that's dumb. I want to have a good time. I call Rich and Paul. School. Is that where you throw a beer cage, Adam? 10 years ago.

I know, this looks like that dude looks like you already graduated college. Right. Witchboard time, right? Where they all look 10 years older and then they're supposed to be. Kissing you. It's like my kids in school. Hmm. Like a life, right?

back there. Yeah, they're on a life raft. Let's go investigate. There he is. Meteor shit. Did you see that little sky jockey zip down in there, poo? What came first?

Brian, what came first? This or the one with Stephen King in it? The lonely life of Vernon Bells or whatever it was? Creep show. Yeah, what came first? Because one influenced the other air.

I'm definitely going to say Creep Show probably came for it. I think the Kyoto saw Creep Show, man. Debbie, it's a waste of time. It's got to be a thousand miles away. We ruined a whole evening. Don't give me that. You saw how close it was.

It landed right over the hill. Now, that is not a thousand miles away. And more like hundreds of miles away. Come on. You find it, Mr. Adventure. Do you want to finish our shampaign? Champagne. Take it with us.

That's probably sham pipple. Well, now I got to deflate this life raft. Right. Okay. So this is more of a call back to, uh, fuck. What was it, Brian? The one where it got into the movie theater, the blob. Oh, the old man wanted to go poke it with a stick.

Yes, yes. It's one thing I learned from the blob as a kid is don't go poking meteorites with sticks. Yeah, but it's kind of instinctual, huh? Y'all get those in Alaska all the time, don't you? What, meteors? Yeah, meteors coming through. Like in landing? I thought so.

News to me. Am I off? Okay. It seems like it'd be a problem. Yeah, I'd hear about it, Lance. Oh, blue. It's pretty. Pooh bear. Boo bear.

They must just be treating this thing for termites. Look at the cowl of the clown. Oh, poor doggy. Don't take the dog. Take the humans. Right. Who? Exactly.

Like his sad, slobary face. Aw. Where is that dog? You know what that means? Who? Snatched him right out of his bandana. You don't take a man's dog. Nothing funny is happening right.

What in Tarnation's going on here? And a Tarnation. I haven't heard Tarnation in a long time. You know it's serious business when you say Tarnation. There it is. And you're in the middle of nowhere, usually. I love this guy because that's going to be me. and like

oh no don't say that the old angry guy did you take my fucking dog I'm gonna tear this thing apart with my bare hands

when you come over to install my EV charger Philip I'll probably host the right I'll try to avoid it oh come on

same old Two typical punks from 1980, huh? The rest of these guys were having a good time. Right? That's some bullshit. That flock of seagulls over here. Right. Why do you have to come into town?

We live in this town too. I mean, we don't have to just stay on campus. This blonde dude looks like a young version of the actor that played Green Arrow in Smallville. Remember that guy? I've never seen that show. Me either. It was fun while it lasted. I think it went 10 seasons.

Which one looks like a young version of anything? Because the youngest guy out there is that cop. Yeah, that is true. Yeah, I'm going to have a question to ask you guys in a minute. This dude's balding already. He's got like fucking a Mohawk. 40. That's exactly what I was looking at, too.

I was like, holy shit. You can even see the bald spot on top. That's that angle. Bad, really bad. He can't hurt my feelings, man. What was the charge drinking in town and not on campus? Is that what it was? That's what he said.

He's like, why do we got to stay on campus? campus. I don't know. It seems like 40 years old. They'd be kind of creepy if they were on campus, wouldn't me? That's good point. Unless they're applying, though, we're supposed to think that they're

college kids. Yeah. Yeah, only, you know, 18 years old. You're going for their Ph.D., huh? Good old Mike Tobacco.

And yes, that is his last name in the movie. Wait, is it really? Yeah, Mike Tobacco. Holy shit. Lead the way, Chief running at the mouth. Chief running at the mouth. Wow.

Jesus Christ. I don't know why you need that flashlight. It's pretty well getting those woods. Pretty backlit, isn't it? Yeah. A tent that's like, it's got lights all over like Vegas. You could see that tent from space. Oh, shit.

Holy. Fuck. Now he wants to go and she wants to go back. It looks like a big ass cell phone flashlight. Yeah. Oh, wow. They were ahead of their time. I know.

Oh, we should be more scared. If you are going to love this, don't you be. She looks old as shit. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just looked older back then. I don't understand. Oh, no.

No. She's, she looks like. She looks like she is legit in her 40s. No, no. No, I'd say 36, 37. I'm sorry. Either way, well, into her 30s. Yeah.

Legit. Oh, come one, come all. Step right up, little lady. Don't be shot. Don't be stupid. Come see the incredible Miss 50-50, man. See, and that guy's just like trying to get. With her and pretend he doesn't have a wife and kids at home.

Mortgage in three cars. He might have grandkids. He looks like he might have grandkids. Yeah, no, patty. Somebody will catch us. They're just cosplaying as like teenage kids. There you go. This is some weird marriage stuff.

Oh, their fantasy life. Gotcha. Now it makes sense. Keeping things spicy in the bedroom. There you go. He should have put on a foot. helmet and she could have put in a cheerleader's outfit? Yes.

This guy is very confident that they'll have fun here. I don't know if he's ever been to a circus. Especially one in the middle of the woods for no reason. Yeah, seems like a perfect place to get kidnapped. It was a different time, Brian. You know?

Yeah. They're in the Matrix all of a sudden. That is a very beautiful mat painting. It is. I keep expecting Neo to show up now. Tell them to take either the red or the blue pill. Do they still use Matt paintings? I don't think so.

I think everything's CGI. I think everything's CGI so they don't really need to, which is sad because Matt painting, you know, they can add some ambience to, you know, through a movie. They did a lot for Star Trek over the years. Yeah, like that clue documentary I was talking about a week or two ago. Like those far shots of the mansion. Okay. It wasn't real. It was a matte painting.

That doesn't surprise me too much. It was well done, too. Yeah. Okay. I look like pink nut sacks. Yes. That's exactly what I was thinking. I was thinking of Lucky Rabbit's foot.

Oh, yeah, I could see that too. Okay, so pink testicles or, you know, pink rabbit's foot. I was like trying to figure out how to word it where it just didn't come off awful and then you said it. And I was like, well, that's it. At least I'm not the only one. I mean, especially look at the fleshyness behind her. Oh, yes, I see that. That's bad.

Okay, she just eliminated herself from Phillips list of women to date. She said, I don't believe in UFOs. So for Philip, it is now officially a non-starter. Oh, it is. All that is is a challenge. Let me give you some information. Right? That's fair.

He's bringing a nut set in. Got a nut, no. Another one. They even look all vainy. Like insane. Like insane. It's like some insane compound. would do, right?

It looked like they would smell funny, for sure. Oh. Like, like popcorn? No. Why is he doing that? Did he say Joe Lombardo? Yeah, you know, Joe Lombardo there? Yeah.

Wow, okay. What are they going to have Elvis Presley next or what? Do you thought he died. They're not running very fast. No, they're not running at all. They're just like hopping along. Come on. Fucking popcorn, this is going to be in my teeth for weeks.

Yeah, that's a stick to popcorn. So is it just to be able to track them? Is that what it is? Probably, yeah? I can see that. Okay, that's pretty cool. Actually, I can see that. That is hilarious.

See, I've seen the mask too many times. I thought he was going to make a Tomahon. He's in the goddamn hole. Oh, no! The poor dog! They've killed two dogs. Astros. Oh, no, they did.

This is terrible. That's seriously fucked up. Did he have a boner when he fell out? Looked like he had a big boner sticking up. I wasn't noticing, Lance. I didn't notice either of Lance. I'm sorry, buddy. That's what they tell a tent pole, isn't it? Look.

Oh. We have to tell the police. Oh. Hey. It's the pleats and the pants. It's air bubbles. Believe us. He said I wouldn't even believe us.

Okay, so they must be in California, right? Because they're growing legal weed, see? Fast as a Zawak's going to take them forever to get the town. No shit. Yeah, no kidding. See you in next week. Oh, God. Come on, really?

How did they make it this far? They've actually been able to travel to another planet. That's a good question. I mean, seriously, man. There's the green arrow again. And that was unnecessary. Well, sorry about that. Okay, you crazy 40-year-old kids.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. There are two people dead. Who, Debbie? Who's dead? Joe Lombardo, he's dead. And it's a old man, too. They could play his parents. They were hanging there, wrapped up.

Codding candy things. These cocoons. Cuccoons. Yes, cacone. They look like big ball sacks. All right. right everybody called out big pink vany ball size i'd like to help you before i can i've got to understand what's going on here myself this is when he faces on oh my gosh somebody's having a bad trip

yeah no shit this is great old time values it said hey i want some of the drugs in this store They give that old school Coca-Cola. Oh, yeah. From the beginning, all right. Look at him. Let's start from the beginning. Yeah, he's definitely not trying to make a move on your chick, guy. Read the room, man.

Come on. He just put his leg between her legs when she pulled the shirt up. Yeah, Dave, it was not a circus tent. It was something else. What, what? It was a spaceship. And there was these things, these city of the, killer crime. He's like, okay, you go away, boy.

I'm gonna finish questioning her. Clowns. He said the thing. Shit. We are telling you the truth. You've gotta believe us. Let me tell you something, honey. I was just over there.

There's nothing going on. Excuse me, please, but we're talking to Dave. Yeah, just hold on a second, Mooney. They say some people are dead. Let's hear them out. Right, Dave. Okay. Clowns, cotton candy.

Flying popp Corn? Go ahead. Let it make fools out of the police department. I told you I was just over there. Who are you gonna believe me and this little trance? Oh damn. Mone does not like anybody. No, he's that asshole cop you just see and avoid. You go to school together. You two were up at top of the world together. Yeah. Little fart. You have a sell ice cream from that goddamn truck those hoodlums run around in. Well, now I really believe this. Well, you better go now, Dave.

Before the clowns take over, huh? And when you get back from saving the world, I want a full written report so I can give it to the chief when he gets back on Monday. You're not the chief? Look, everything happened just the way we said. We are telling you the truth. All right, all right. You two come with me. The city of a population of like 18 and they've got 80,

87 people in the police Yeah Make a dummy out of yourself But you're not going to make a dummy out of me Sure Here you get the front seat You kid I don't care where you sit Get the fuck out of here

I'm gonna go I'm gonna go fuck your girlfriend What about you in the back Where you can't get out Without me opening the door Let me give me some handcuffs while you're back there You little shit Yeah.

What the fuck? This is an ambiguous looking person. Who is this? I don't know. I can't tell if it's a kid or an adult. I know. It's bizarre, man. So, of course, he's going to sit there watching a puppet show, right?

Well, one thing about it, Brian, it definitely looks like the youngest person in the cast so far, right? That is true. We have that going. for it. The time I look at him, I'm not sure. It's hard to tell. Oh, wow. Uh-oh.

And that's so funny now, is it? Testiclay. I think their teeth are the scariest part of them. Right? Okay, here's the high school valedictorian. Working in the drugstore. Pipes. You remember when they sold pipes? And you didn't have to go to a weed store to get them?

Mm-mm-hmm. Different time, boys and girls. It's that like adult diapers? It is a drugstore. Toilipers, a little shampoo. Condoms. Check this out. First I'm taking you hold of it.

Tell me what to do. Debbie, just listen to me, would you? I don't. He's trying to mansplain it to her. He's like, dude. Oh, man. Okay, here's the question. Uh-huh.

Do this to me? If they're supposed to be college, right? They go home or I'm going to take you back. College high school. They just said that they used to date. Yeah. When did they use to date? This is clearly a grown man, the officer.

Is the officer really clearly a grown man? she look look at her eyes she looked stoned as fuck yeah and then they turned her into a nutsack yep that's that's sad because she thought she would have been a lot of fun that is a gross ass clown

oh shit it's so romantic what's grosser the clown as lady you sent this obese motherfucker to give me a card you're so nice where's Bede when you need him it's the red lasa you get my red wine I always love the trope in movies where the cop car has no divider

between the front and backseat it's okay oh there wasn't one in there no no not at all clowns you gotta worry you can see when they were talking about when they used to date Mike was sticking his head right in between. You guys really have the worst cop cars ever. Pretty bad. I had more incidents where the cops ended up getting stuck in the backseat like in Super Troopers.

I've seen that one. I have actually. Yeah, we should do that. That is an amazing one. For great things. Super troopers, you've never seen Super Troopers? Ever. Oh my fucking God, I cannot even right now.

I've seen Clubbredd, I've seen Beer Fast. Dude, Super Troopers is the most amazing movie of all time. You watch Club Dred and Beer Fest, but you haven't seen. Oh my God, dude. The one that can't eat. The original one. Wow, you got to watch it, dude. It is amazing.

I thought I knew you, man. Oh, I feel terrible. terrible. Just don't watch the second one because you're not really missing anything. Yeah. Yeah, it's not great. The one in Canada, right? Yeah.

It's like the second Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, but not as good. Really? Okay. Yeah. Was that cocaine that they got into? Uh, I think it was like makeup. Make up? I don't fucking know.

I'm just guessing. So they got that scene from Hocus. Pocus 2 from this then okay when they went into the Walgreens yeah I'll tell you what the facts are mister you watched Hocus pocus too but not super troopers that is a good oh shit that is a good burn every time I say something to my mom about Super Trooper she's like oh I hate that movie with the bugs that's not really how my mom but it is in my head sometimes. He did cuff him.

He finally cuffed him. I was like, no, Mom, that's Star Trip, Starship Troopers. It's not the same movie. These are like the most weak-ass-looking motorcycle gang ever. Don't fuck with the guy on the tricycle. Exactly. Watch this, baby. Uh-oh.

Uh-oh. Mean bike you got there. Can I take a ride? Mm-mm. Can I beep the horn? This guy looks like a poor man's army. See, that's just mean. It is just mean.

He kind of had it coming. Yeah. To be a dick for no reason. Kind of looks like a, I don't know if you guys know, Sunny Landum. Yeah, yeah. I can see that. I can see that. Where'd it go?

put them up put them up my block off lock off got a little Jason goes to Manhattan five going here push that motherfucker's head clean oh

yep big like it's all his friend had to say was damn well yeah the one that looks like Craig Robinson.

Like a young Craig Robinson. That would be great. I always felt like this scene was creepy. Oh, yeah. A very little girl. Yeah, that's immediately creepy. Dude, my wife doesn't trust the construction workers in my neighborhood. She would lose her fucking mind.

Yeah, this definitely has an art the clown vibe to it here. I don't trust my neighbors that live. next door. Right? What about Brian, do you still have the one that Moses yard at fucking 6 a.m. or whatever?

Oh, oddly enough, we met and talked and he's not as annoying as I found him before. Of course not. Man, I'll tell you what, moving out to the middle of nowhere,

I've met all my neighbors and I know that they're at least looking out for our house because my wife definitely looking out for theirs. That is good to know. The nosy bitch in the neighborhood. Actually, she's not even. There's a couple old ladies that...

Oh, yeah, I can imagine that. That parole the fucking place, but, you know, or patrol it. Mike's still got to ride the back. Looks like it. Even though the chick's none of the car anymore. He's riding bitch. Man, he's under arrest. what's that shown he's riding bitch because he's under arrest

you just make sure you stay back there even though there's no divider exactly well at least he's got him cuffed this time does he cuffed? He cuffed him earlier yeah he did where the tent in the tent scene where it was supposed to

be there and it wasn't he's like alright mister Oh, okay. Yeah. You mean the one where the clown fell down and had the tent pole sticking up? No. That's seen? Okay. Different, different tent.

Is it spider webs? Oh, it's the cotton candy. Okay. Oh, yeah. The nut set juice. What should you do? Oh. Should touch it.

Don't touch. Why should try eating it? See what it tastes like. Yeah, well, you're going to have to put your tongue on it, right? Like a truck. It's like that scene from You guys seen the fake Thanksgiving trailer from Grindhouse Yes

Yeah When the sheriff like touches the blood And taste it He's like god damn it It's blood I'm sure what you think it was Maybe he thought it was Cranberry sauce right

Hey it could be So Joe Lombardi's glasses I guess so I'm gonna Sotomize you Oh wow That's

Whitting real darn Damn man I'm gonna release you from these hands But there's nothing I can do about your sweater That's the stuff That's the stuff that I was telling you about That's the stuff Oh Lombardo

Oh you know That's McReed's Jeep Bob McReed But you know Bob. Yeah, right. There's 87 people in the town. You know, Bob. It probably does.

Here, penthouse. Is that Penn House? He's reading Penn House letters. Yeah. And House with guns on the back of it. You goddamn kids. Ah, fucking kids. Get off of my lawn.

Oh, wow. Rodham Jack. He said rich little bastards. I'd shoot them all. Wow. That is not who I want running my police department. I think they're good. They need to vote somebody else in.

The sad fact is when I was at the University of Florida around UF, a lot of the locals kind of had that attitude towards, like, if you were a student. Oh, no shit. Yeah, oh, yeah. Like, Alachua County. Like, they love UF because it provides jobs, but they also hate the students because they're like, oh, you're snotty, you know, you're a rich kid. I'm like, no, I'm not. I'm on a fucking scholarship.

Fuck you. I'm poor. I'm fucking. I got in here because I was lucky. Like, fuck you. At the University of Florida, bitch, I'd be at fucking Harvard. Yeah, exactly. Stanford, Harvard.

MIT. Well, fuck one of that. What are they like legit rich? kids schools. Yes. The games messing with the wrong guy. Okay, what are you going to do about it? Sit there and read

Penthouse. That's pretty good special effects. Jesus! Come on, Joe, get going. I did always kind of love this scene for some reason. Yeah, it is pretty good. Was that the scene?

the one they were talking about. Stephen King has some short stories that are kind of like this. So is that the scene there? Yeah, they had to go put it off fire half. That was the scene they were talking about in the trivia. So it was supposed to go flying, weigh the fuck off, and then it just kind of fell down and landed in the tree and they just set it on fire, I guess. Ceremoniously.

All right, here's Tony Catan getting into a shower. Come on. Come on. No. No, nothing's happening. Come on. Give us a witchboard action at least. Come on.

They'll show you her ankles. Oh, God. You heathens. You haven't. Dude, this was 1980. They could get away with it. Show them. They could go full bush.

Yeah, come on. The 80s boobies were nice. They did not pay her enough. I guess not. All the money went to production costs. Yeah. Okay. The popcorn.

all talking to each other. What the hell is he doing? He's going to grow corn from popcorn. Is that what's going to happen? I can't remember this part. I just don't get it. All right. Here we go.

Come on. I don't get your hopes up, man. Yeah, don't. You're going to be disappointed, dude. Just creepy popcorn pieces. Oh, they can teleport. Are they like popcorn kernels like alive and they like can kill it? Is that what it is?

No, you guys will see. Okay. I've watched this movie. A ton. I just don't remember this. It's been a while. I don't see the logic behind doing a couple of kernels of popcorn in a trash can. You're looking for logic in this movie?

Yeah, I was exact. I was going to say that. There is no logic. again. Just go with it. That sounds crazy. I should crawl in and look at it. Oh, come on, man. You'll call the state police and tell them what. Oh.

So maybe he's letting him sit in the front now. Maybe go ahead and radio them. He's got a fucking radio. You know, call the state police. You don't have to use a phone even in the 80s. That's what I grew up in the 80s Stephen we used to Our saying used to be you can't outrun radio

No matter how fast you went Asked a cop up Still the same Can't outrun the radio even now The hell do they What is this the graduating class of the year prior Houndstabro? Do you remember we saw That's clown.

Look, it's molesto the clown. Ooh, this guy's got some killer hand puppets, man. Right. Big top, be we. Aw. Oh, Paul, too soon, Sean. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. So aliens don't have the best dental hygiene. What is that George Washington across the Potomac? Yeah, I think so. How did they know that? That's a good question. Now, we're overthinking it.

Jessica Rabbit. Get out there and shoot him. Get him, Dave. Kill him. Get out there and shoot him. Wait, I want to see if he kills these people. Does he lure him in and kill him? Or does he just provide a really good show?

Get your souls. Oh, the popcorn kernels are all the souls of the people they've captured, right? Ah. You see this is why you were in the backseat, you jackass? No much paperwork he's got to do now. So much. I don't see him anywhere. It went straight up.

Hey, yeah, he did. Mike Tobacco. I thinker five. This is Mooney speaking. I was a little worried about you. I thought the big bad clowns got a hold of you. Mooney, I want you to listen to me and don't say anything. I want you to call the state police and get help.

There are clowns and they are killing people over. Okay, let me get this straight. You say there are clowns and you've seen him. Okay, Dave, that's it. Screw you. I've had enough of this from you and from everyone else. I know what you guys are trying to do. Break me down, drive me out of the force.

Well, you should have retired like 20 years ago. Brian, Brian, he was just about to retire when these clowns took over the town. He had five days to retire. Five days left. Fuck you guys, I'm going to get my watch. This damn kids. How does he not know anybody in this town? I mean, he didn't even know Joe Lovardo.

The shittiest cop ever. Everybody knows Joe Lovardo. All the cops in this movie are shitty. Pretty bad. Yeah. Yeah. Three stooges. I'm glad to see you guys.

Mike, how you doing? You want some ice cream? The cop pulls up and he's like, oh, those fucking guys. I know them. Guys grew up together. Yeah. These guys are clearly from New York. Yeah.

Like the three burnt, the Bernstein brothers. I scream. These popcorn guns and this is a circus tent spaceship, right? But it's not there anymore, but we were there. We saw the whole thing. And they say we're crazy. So. Oh, come on, you guys, I'm not fooling around.

Hey, Mike, what do you want us to do? We have ice cream to sell tonight. Paul, this is more important than selling ice cream. There's clowns going around killing people. We're all in danger. I haven't sold that much ice cream tonight. We haven't told any. Come on, guys, will you help me?

At least take me over to Debbie's house, okay? I think she's in danger. Does you have any roommates? Ah! Jesus. Mep-Man! Brothers. Big boobs.

Do they like ice cream? They love it. we waiting for? Whoa. Wow. Primal nirple each other. Definitely. Definitely. There's a real friends.

We're excited. We should tickle each other. All right. Hey, Brian. I'm at the point now where if I didn't have my phone cell phone to watch this movie on, I'd be seeing nothing but just a blurred

screen right now on my surface bro. Oh, fuck. Suck ass. This really sucks. Pulling out his cigar now. He's living it up at the station. Yep.

Nine millimeter. Reading about a nine millimeter. A nine millimeter challenge. I like how nobody's shocked when they see clowns that look like this. Especially since people have been calling him all night about clowns killing people. Yeah. And the clown shows up and he's like, look at this piece of shit. My first instinct is to take my service revolver out.

Oh, shit. Yep. Oh, he just splooged on him. Hey. That was kind of thick. Is that what that was? That didn't look like water. That wasn't water, was it?

Money shot him. Oh. Oh. You think this is sexy, you son of a bitch. I'll show you. I don't know what stranger that he's telling him to turn around of clowns actually complying. Oh, he's got a trick up his sleeve, doesn't he?

Or in his pants. Sorry, that was too far. Ah, son of a bitch. Every goddamn time. Gotcha. Why ought to avoid you? Yeah, we got to be here all night or what? Yeah, we get one phone call, don't we?

Are they asking him? Right. Because he's a clown, he must be the cop, right? Oh. Get your stubs up. A wise guy, eh? Let me turn you with my back on you. Right.

First thing you can do as a cop, turn you back on someone. Nor in general. All right, this client is kind of funny. He fucking, police briefs. reality, man. Mm-hmm. What the fuck? He's like

these bars won't stop me, bitch. That's the two 48-year-old punk rockers. What are you in here for? Is that what he said? She's still in the shower. I haven't seen a single nipple.

Oh, God. You fell up. You said somebody, teleport. it into there? I don't know. Well, they just did it at the same time that he was dropping the popcorn in the dumpster. I'm like, did they teleport? What is what are we doing?

That actually may be a possibility. Clown footprints. Bloody clown footprints, done, done, done. Come on. Really? Well, how else is he going to find him, Lance? Was that a swastika on the map? I don't know, it looked like a swastika

on the map on the wall there. Is that, am I seeing things? No, I didn't see it. I didn't see it. I missed that one. Okay. Must be this Surface Pro screen that's like vibrating up and down

while I'm watching it. I got a good new laptop, guys. Yeah. Somewhere that way Hmm These don't seem like footprints Yeah, they're going up the wall It seemed like question marks

Redo made this Oh no Is he gonna run into the Batman? Oh no, another nutzack This one's extra hairy at least trim it up oh this is the 80s even the women didn't trim it up back then

speaking of which speaking of which he's found the vulva what is that a hand I didn't think that was a hand I thought we were getting I'm sorry. Hmm.

Well, those punks, they deserve to die. Did I just see a clown over there? Oh, he's going to do a puppet show. Got it. Yeah, remember when he said nobody's going to make a dummy out of me. Oh, boy. That was a lady. That was my wife. Where does he have his hand?

You know. I don't want to know. Break them. Damn near killed them. Oh, you're squelty noise. All right, dude. You're the green arrow. Go find Superman in back.

That was a terrible shot. Okay. That really was. He's like three feet away from me. Yeah. And he's like lower abdominal area. The center mass no longer applies. Ah.

Oh, that's a. That's the kill shot. It's the news. Are you standing there? Oh, fireworks. He exploded into glitter. Never gonna get all of this out of the station. These clowns aren't people.

There's some kind of creatures, things from another planet. Jack, they're killing people. Officer Mooney is dead. I know I saw it. He was killed. I repeat, Officer Mooney is dead. All right. over?

Now all of a sudden he's serious. Yeah, we'll send somebody out. Do y'all think that's a clown talking to him? All kidding aside? I believe that was Jack. Okay. That we never met. He's just like, yeah, sure, buddy.

Alien clowns. All right. Pop goes to weasel. This guy sounds like a young Joe Pesci. Ah, yeah, I get that, yeah, this definitely is that New York vibe to it, that wise guys vibe to it. You remember hidden lake? Take the buttons, leave the ice cream. There's nothing to do with hidden lake.

We would have to be total morons to believe this clown invasion crap. If there are killer clowns running around here, then I'm porky pig. Abidi, how aboutee, ebidi, ebidi. Nutsack. I will never look at those cotton candy balls the same way again. Worst hiding space ever. Having a ticker tape parade or what? They actually sell.

Oh, wait, who was that guy? A little replica guns. Do they? And what's that store? Spirit Halloween. Oh, of course. I think those should be open. pretty soon shouldn't they yeah I think the the website is like always

opened okay I got it I got to get one they sell those and see this I just I didn't want to tell you what the popcorn was oh that's right ah okay okay that's kind of creepy this could be a whole sequel into itself the little ones I don't know how popcorn got in the medicine care that's good point Trans-transport or what did you call it? What? Teleportation. Teleportation.

Teleportation. Yeah, those are ten times scarier than the break of them. Is it coming in at the toilet? Yeah. Yeah. It's super gross. Uh-oh. Turn some water on.

Have it. You know what happens. That was the greatest, greatest weakness. Shelf curtain. It's Mike Tobacco. See, they can imitate voices. Damn it. I don't think that was Jack.

That's a good point. They are going to send the state police. It's going to be seven more UFOs. Oh, boy. She is getting the royal treatment. I thought he was going to eat her. Oh, he is. Just not in the way you think.

She wearing boots or is that leg warmer is over her jeans? Did she just get out of the shower? Yeah, she got out of the shower and she was fully clothed. Jesus Christ. Blame to Kyoto's. White House head over here? Take a right. Right.

Right. Right. No, laugh. Left. So why did it turn her into a balloon and not a ball sack? They got other plans for her. I think I know what their plans are. They got to have little baby clowns too, right?

Ain't no probing. It's probing time. Have they ever made a video game of this? They got one coming out soon. Yeah, it is coming out. They have because they need to. Have you guys... Yeah, it does.

Have you guys played that new Texas chainsaw mask here? No, but it sounds amazing. I'm curious if it's going to... be like you know um Friday 13th the game like it looks like it yeah it's where it's a great game but like you just can't find anyone or you just can't find enough people to play with one or the that did not look real no you didn't you said stop oh you didn't you said stop oh if you meant Pull over you. Looks like his car is on fire.

Mm-hmm. I'm really sorry. I was feeling a little queasy. In my control, where they're hitting. See, that was responsible. Mm-hmm. He had his license and insurance all ready to go. Right.

All right. In his Velcro wallet. Keeps the sandwich in their pocket of their jacket. Somebody that loves to eat. He's been looking forward to lunch all night. I love to eat. I mean, but I don't, what the hell? Maybe not as much as this guy.

Yeah, true that. He's a professional. You're interrupting my sandwich time. It's the only time I have. It's my happiest time of day. The old clown's getting out of the clown car. Yeah. Now wait just a goddamn minute.

This is when you leave. sir. Yeah. Like, all right. I'm leaving. That's not whipped cream. What are you with those pies, boys? You just got baby battered.

I'm sorry. There's a shitload of pies. Like walking through prison. Oh, oh, God. That's gotta be a shitty way to die. What did I miss? I had to go take a... Oh, you had to put a cherry on top.

They turned him into a Sunday? Oh, no kidding. Yike. Yeah, they threw pies at them, but they weren't whipped cream filled. Oh. They didn't look at it anyway. They were cream pies. Oh, God.

I just ran into the house for him as I had about three grandkids, say, asking if I can take them to six flags as soon as the haunted houses start up. That's awesome. I'm like, I'm going. You guys may not go with me, but I'm going. I miss being close to Halloween war nights, man. Like being in Florida resident and getting that discount. Hell yeah.

We're going to try to do that next year. We'll see if it works. It ain't cheap, it ain't cheap, dude. It's not. Even with the Florida discount, it's not. I still have my Florida license, but. for but I gotta change that change it over we've Phillip and I've been trying to get Brian to come here for

six flags for what four years in a row now Philip uh that would be fun and Brian and Brian is like fuck you guys I just want to say here last this is exactly what I say every year it's too fucking hot fuck you it's hot in Alaska I don't want to fucking go to Texas that's fair Actually, it's pretty nice there right now, isn't it, Brian? See, my laptop says it is 66 degrees outside.

Oh, dude, that's not my ball. What I wouldn't give. It's 92 here, like today. It's 106 here right now. With a million percent humidity. Yeah, we've got much humidity up here, too. Like, it didn't used to be like this. It didn't used to be really hot, but climate change.

It ain't a rumor There's something to it So I missed all this We're bullshit And they're talking about the dinosaurs The clowns are descended from the dinosaurs Or what? I don't know

I see dinosaurs in the paintings in the background And they're talking about Where the clowns came from I put two and two together I thought Maybe they've been around since the dinosaurs That must be it Oh that makes sense

I didn't even think about that. The descendants and dragons. I wish DeNaris Targaryen would put me in fucking candy and eat me. I'd visit her pink testicle balls. Oh, wow. Wait. That didn't come out quite right, but no. It's okay.

Should I push this big red button? Oh. I love that that's what happened. I didn't do anything. What a pointless button. Nobody else has a weapon. Nope. I don't believe in that.

No, but they are jumping in the pile of balls. I don't think they have ballpits anymore. I don't think so. They're not very sanitary, right? No. I guess not, but they were sure as hell a lot of fun. Yeah. You can buy, like, mini ballpits for, like, young kids at Walmart,

because I got it for my youngest daughter. Like, it's a little small, like, very tiny ball pit. Would you? Hell. By the looks on their face, they are going to. Based on how desperate they are, yeah. I think they're all in, Philip. I think they're all in to answer your question.

Oh, yeah. I mean, why not? You know, at this point, you're going to die anyway. Yeah, I mean, I have some alien cheeks. I mean, it's better than the alternative. Right. Bang these female. clowns or you get turned into pink testicles.

Yeah, I'd go for the pink, the female clowns. Yeah, for sure. Mm-hmm. That's not a hard one. We'd rather be a sex slave than a dead one. True, true that. Get these testicles to get strong. Gonna.

Da-da-da-da-da-da. Rocky, maybe that's not the best way to practice. You know, that's an illegal hit, you know? That's right. Can't hit the testicles. Even if it does look like hanging meat. That's an awful lot of low blows. Oh, man, I think we found our Sylvester Stallone for when we do skits, Brian.

Just like him, dude. Oh, I can do a mean Sylvester Sloan if I really get into it. I'm not great at a lot of them, but semester slow and I can do. I think Brian can do Arnold really well. Nah. Pull me in, coach, where are we? What up, hey, what's up? Speaking of Arnold, what's up, Arnold?

What number? Where are you? We're way down. We're almost done. Or like an hour and 10 minutes, I think. It's not on your screen. Oh, okay. Here, I'm trying to get it on.

Yeah. It's a straw in the pink testicle. Yeah, they're sucking the juice out of it. Sucked the blood out of it. Boy, we have given a whole new meaning to this movie, Naz. All right. He's got a silly straw, of course, right? here at

what yeah one 11 and 17 seconds he's juicing the nugs oh I got a funco coming out with the one of the clowns

and he has like a little cotton candy cany cocoon yeah it's perfect sense did you see did you see them at Texas plants

yeah we got some sound bites if I can figure out how to get them off of my phone we're going to play him before this show hell yeah I can't wait. Did you guys see this in the theater?

I saw the drive-in. Oh, dude. You're so lucky. I was two years old. I was old man. I'm sorry. Nas was 48 playing a high school student, just like half the people in this movie.

It looks like it's made out of that super balance shit. Yeah, it does. Yeah. Oh, Nez, you know who I'm talking about? this blonde cop does he look like the original greener small bill oh Justin Hartley I don't look like him yes that this guy looked like him a little bit oh I remember I met her I met her in Sacramento oh really at 19-seption 2 when she was 20 no sinister creature con she was there yeah was she nice yeah she was cool I was

talking to her about um return the living dead too Wait, was she in return? Was she? She was, um, that guys. Yeah, the little, the little, the little,

the little kids, uh, sister. Oh, no, she. Isn't that her? No.

Let me see. Now we're going to have to look it up. Yeah, I'm trying to. Nice. I was talking to her. Yeah, she was a return of the living dead too.

Oh, she was in Remo Williams, the adventure begins. Oh shit. She plays the nurse. That's awesome. I don't remember that. I remember her. She was Tom Matthew's girlfriend, return of living dead too. Okay, I got you.

I'm definitely gonna have to go back to Mawkser. She was in the last starfighter. How did you guys stop here? Was she? What did she play? Oh, what the cheerleader? Yeah, that's, I just remember she was really nice and she was like super skinny Here's a night of the creeps.

Holy crap. Did a lot. Yeah. Good for her. I get it now when you when you were talking about trivia, Phillip, you said they spent all the money on set and sign. Yeah, I was gonna say this is probably right here. This is like a color version of of what was the one we did earlier?

Forbidden Zone. Yeah. A little bit. You love that movie. I'm a fan. I picked it up on Blu-ray. I probably never open it, though. Never open it, huh?

They're still supposed to come out with a sequel. We'll see if it ever happens. I'm glad we watched it, though. It seems like a good movie to have watched once. Yeah. Yeah. Or if you're tripping on acid, and then all of a sudden it's in color. instead of

Oh, there it is. All right, how are you guys doing all this? You have to show me how to do it so Brian and I can use it for wrestling. I just share the screen on Skype. Come on Mike. I don't know if we can put it on the YouTube's, but we'll see. Well, I can do.

He always fade out, right? You said. Yeah, I'm going to try. We're just going to do Indie. wrestling clips. No one cares about folks. There you go. Somebody they filmed into somebody's backyard.

Those are usually amazing. See something like this, making a film like this would just be just nothing but a good time. If you had good director and all that that wasn't a Stanley Kubrick, rest in peace. You had a fun

atmosphere, yeah. Yeah. Because I just You know half of their budget was drugs. They came with their own. I wonder, Nass, I wonder what it's like working for Ari Auster. I watched Bo is afraid again this week. I'll bet he's pretty particular.

What do you think? I'm sure there's a lot of asking him a lot of questions on what's going on in this scene. What's my motivation here? All this stuff had to deal with relationships. Right. Have you seen Bose afraid? Not yet. When you have like three hours to spare

check it out and then explain to me what happens. Well, goddamn, I'm not to watch it. Is it like, um, yeah, same. What was it? What was that movie? He did. Hit Samar? No.

The reptitary. Skinnamarink. No. Yeah. God. It's no Scyndhamer. There's stuff that happens.

Like, how hot were these guys inside these clown costumes? No doubt. Yeah, they had to be miserable. If you want to see Skinnamarink, too, Nez, check out that movie called Ennis Men. It's on Hulu now, I think.

That is the most boring piece of shit I've ever seen. They said it was Hulk War, but it's just that's the wrong camera sense. Look at it, man. covered in lipstick. They got like some death by snoo snoo from them female clowns. They fucked those clowns. They did. They got some clown love, huh? Oh yeah. But they're alive. Can you blame me? See? And according to IMDB, this is

Charles, Charles Kyoto. Really? When I saw this, I didn't see it when it like first originally came out. It was already out for a while. But we went and seen something else, and this was the second movie that played with it. Oh, nice. Sounds like fun. This was the only one I remembered because it was. I appreciate it.

Yeah, I appreciated it for what it is, and I love the effects and the set designs. And the colors and everything of it, yeah. Yeah. I mean, it wasn't the greatest movie in the world, like some people think it is. But I can appreciate what they did to make this film. Yeah, sure, sure. It's irrefutably a classic. Yeah, absolutely.

If nothing else. And at the time when I saw it, I mean, I didn't think, however a billion years later that people are going to like really, really love this film. Yeah. I can't imagine that anybody making this film thought that anybody would love this film. I better be turned into a video game. That's a much better effect than the car falling off the cliff Speaking of clowns in cars like this did you guys are you guys watching twisted metal?

Yeah yeah I was talking about that earlier it's not bad That is I got to agree with me they should have just let Samoa Joe talk Yeah I didn't understand why they got some a Lego Batman guy to do it Yeah, Forte was it Will Forte? Will Arnette, I think.

A Will Arnette. Especially since it doesn't even really sound like Kim. Over here. Right? Yeah. Honestly, it kind of sounds more closer to Samoa Joe, what he really sounds like. Really? So what's the point then?

Yeah, why dub it? Because it's Will Arnett. Now they've got a fucking roller coaster there, too. But it's like they're literally paying money just for the voice. because like otherwise why do it because it's not like anybody notices he gets stopped billing in the crowds really yeah he does which makes those sense oh consider it a revolver for you dumbass need some unbelievable man I was always want to know magazine McFarlane to make these figures like make all of them not just

yeah yeah the main the main couple because that's all Funko did. They just made three of them. Now the cops are there. They got more coming. Okay. Dradle,

Dreadle, I think they also got those. They called Nets, the Tarrant tunes, tiny tunes, whatever. Oh, the terror tunes. Yeah.

I didn't get the Funker ones, but I'll get those. I am trying to figure out why the roller coaster and everything is there all of a sudden. was always there was it okay yeah no it no it wasn't oh that seems too easy that's what I love about the 80s

effects oh yeah they do the best so much better than the cgia fire that we've got down it's better than the death star exploding the best they can with what's available as opposed to

whatever's the cheapest. Okay, I have a question here coming up that I always wondered ever since I was a kid. I'm dying to know. They would have already been firing. Yeah, no. It's green arrow,

is. Like, where are these these little cars they made? Are they, did they junk them? Are they in a, warehouse somewhere are they covered in jazz are they covered in jazz Brian is that what your ice creams

ice cream oh they hit in the freezer clown jazz he's got it all on his hair uh tear gel those missiles must be fake I'm sure they be melting under all those hot lights you would think so

That's a good point. It's going to be a white Christmas. I like how the main two are just not even dirty, and the cop guys is all hell of dirty. Right here. Never mind. Are they dead? Are they going to die now?

Is that your question, Brian? Yeah, because of the security guard got all the pies thrown. I mean, that's true. Yeah, I guess so. I guess that's what the sequel. We were wrong. It wasn't the jizz pie. is dropping a deuce on him.

A poking bird. That makes sense. All right, Naz, so you missed cool of the week earlier. What was your cool of the week? No, Blue Beetle. You guys haven't seen that year. Oh, shit. All right, you may add it to the list here.

I liked it. Tell us about it. I heard a lot of good things about it. I heard it's not the greatest comic book movie of the year, but it's fun. It was better than I thought it was going to be Because I wasn't expecting much out of it I just figured the kid From

Cobra Kai I was like, all right, cool, I like him That is the Cobra Kai kid I was like I recognize it from somewhere And George Lopez I mean he's kind of He got a little crazy Later on in his career

But he was funny He was awesome A kid from Cobra Cye The grandma was a little was probably my favorite. She was elegant. And what I loved about it, it was I think they were Mexican.

I think that's what they were. It was like a whole Mexican crowd in my theater. I saw it Friday night after work. A lot of it is in Spanish, but there are subtitles. So I thought all that was cool. And even the parts, when there were the little sidecrack jokes that were in Spanish

and there was no subtitles. I don't understand Spanish, but everyone was laughing, so I assumed it was good. That's one thing I kept hearing in reviews. It felt like an authentic Mexican family. That's cool. Yeah. Did they say, chinga to mother? Chupala me verga.

I don't know what they were seen. But it was funny, though. Speaking listeners get it. They know what I just said. It was way better than I thought it was. gonna be because I didn't I didn't think much of it I was like okay is a mediocre character um right well yeah there's tv shows and stuff though Blue Beetle haven't they

I think in the cartoons there's there's two extra scenes okay um the very the very last scene is in Spanish so I don't know what was said but um it was it was good there was no real ties into anything else with the DCE or whatever you want to call about it. That's good. James Gunn said James Gunn said it is a part of the new

I think that's probably good that it didn't really tie into anything that you can bring it into the new. Yeah, same. They mentioned Superman and Batman, but that's about it just by name. They don't tell them. What else?

I mean, the action was good. I thought it was really good. It was really violent, so I love that. Sweet. It just like a blue iron man. That's all my... PG-13 or R? I think so. It was PG-13. Okay. It was more, it was like a family-oriented film because his family was so close. And he just, this just happened to him and then he became this, the Blue Beetle.

It's like they all in this universe of it, they all knew who the Blue Beetle was. He wasn't the original one. He was just someone that's taken over the beetle that gets onto his back and just kind of digs itself into his skin. That's how he becomes it. But it was really good. I was shocked on how good it was. I wasn't expecting much. That's nice to hear.

That's nice to hear. I said, I'll just watch it and take it for what it is. but yeah for a character that a lot of people don't know who it is because everyone knows Batman Superman and Aquaman and all that it was cool that they brought this in and George Lopez said he goes hey we finally get a superhero that looks like us I'm like all right cool right on I can agree with that so but that's awesome overall it was a really good film if they make more I'll see them

uh I assume at some point these new superheroes that they're bringing in will all Justice League again and I don't know who's going to be Superman or who's going to be Batman. I don't think Edward's going to ever slide into this universe, which I don't want. I said that's a different universe.

Good. Keep that Batman. You don't think you'll have Joaquin Phoenix coming in as the Joker? Those movies are too serious and grounded. Yeah. Is that coming out this year? The Joker?

It's a musical. if they already made it. That's the question. Yeah, they filmed it. Okay. Everything's pushed back. Yeah. Yeah, that was the last new...

Oh, I saw that in Oppenheimer. That was good. Yeah. John, both movies we've talked about tonight. So that's cool. What other new movie did I see? Oh, Turtles. That was good.

I heard good things. I heard really good news. Mewan. Um... It's hashtag not my turtles, but it was still pretty good. I appreciate the artwork that they did to put what they put into it to make it. It was really good. I did live the little live action stuff that they kind of put in there.

The four guys that the voice the turtles, I thought they were perfect because they sounded like teenagers. So I thought that was really good. They are teenagers. I thought that was cool. What an idea. What a concept, right? Jackie Chan as Splinter. Don't get me wrong. I love Jackie Chan, but he's not Japanese. Maybe not as a voice actor.

He's not Japanese, but okay. Ice Cube as Superfly, he was cool. John Cena as I don't know if he was Bebop or Rock Stadium, whatever. I had no idea these people were in this movie or that it existed until like last week. There's a lot of... Yeah, I heard of...

Seth Rogan threw money into it, right? Yeah, I think it was his producer. He was... And he was either Bebop or Rock City. I don't know. That makes sense. But all the voices they got... I guess Post Malone was one of the

mutant guys, too. And... Really? There was a lot of people in this movie. So, but... Why not? Why not? I enjoyed it. That was another... thing. I've watched Post Malone on Joe Rogan

a couple of times. He's a pretty cool motherfucker. When he's stripping on mushrooms or when he's not? Yeah. I'll be hoping he doesn't do hard drugs anymore. I hope that guy's all right because he's gotten super skinny, like fast. Yeah. Apparently he's not doing drugs and stuff. That's one of the things that he talked about. Yeah. So he's, I think he's doing all right. So not doing drugs makes you skinny.

okay. He must be super mellow because every time I see him he looks like he's high as fuck. All right. Well, thanks for coming by, Niz. Sean, we appreciate it, man. Yeah. Thank you. I finally got around to it, dude. I loved it. And I love to come back. Just give me a shout whenever you need someone for commentaries or whatever. Yeah, man. All right. Well, as always, we're going to thank you guys for listening to another episode of the horror returns. We would love to hear your feedback and ideas. Be sure to check out our other shows in our network, the wrestling returns, the action returns, and stream fiends. And what's coming up, Brian, on those shows? Action, we got the expendables, stream fiends. We got Freeway, which

the one starring Reese Witherspoon. I vaguely remember that. I'll have to rewatch that one. I haven't seen it, so I still need to watch it. Well, you will. wrestling we got payback coming up WWE payback and we got a bonus episode we're going to be working on nice all right well next week

next week here on the horror returns we've got special guest Chad Christopher and we're going to be talking about the year on horror 1990 part two or part three Brian I don't know anyway we're going to do

Franken Hooker and Tony and we're going to do Tony Todd's version of Night of the Living Dead. So, uh, Philip, until the horror returns again, good night.