The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #382: The RETURN Of ”Is It Really THAT Bad?” - The Happening (2008) & Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013)

Episode Date: September 21, 2023

This week we ask that age old question...with a few modern day "classics!" Cool of the Week includes Chucky, The Dallas Cowboys, Seven Psychopaths, and The Electric Kool Aid Acid Test. Trailers are Dark Harvest, Pet Sematary: Bloodlines, and Totally Killer. We shine the podcast spotlight on Epic Film Guys. Thanks for listening! The Horror Returns Website: https://thehorrorreturns.com THR YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/@thehorrorreturnspodcast3277 THR Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thehorrorreturns THR Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thehorrorreturns/ Join THR Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1056143707851246 THR X: https://twitter.com/horror_returns?s=21&t=XKcrrOBZ7mzjwJY0ZJWrGA THR Instagram: https://instagram.com/thehorrorreturns?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= THR TeePublic: https://www.teepublic.com/user/the-horror-returns SK8ER Nez Podcast Network: https://www.podbean.com/pu/pbblog-p3n57-c4166 E Society Spotify For Podcasters: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/esoc E Society YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCliC6x_a7p3kTV_0LC4S10A Music By: Steve Carleton Of The Geekz  

Regings victims, for those of you who delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify gore, welcome. You have found the place where the horror returns. Listeners beware. This podcast contains major plot spoilers. and the foulest of language. Join us in celebrating the old and the new, the best, and the worst in horror. The horror returns.

I'm Lance and with me. We got Philip and Brian. How's it going, guys? So. Awesome. And so. Mr. Hula man.

You look a little browner, dude. Yeah, I feel a little. little browner, man. Or as they say, a little bit more ripe like a coconut. That's what they say in Hawaii. Hey, man, you're looking ripe like a coconut. Oh, dude, I kept doing that fucking Jamaican accent is driving A.G. crazy. Yeah, which has nothing to do. I'm in Hawaii. Not even close. I swear to God, though. Hey, I got, you know how we got our hall passes, right? And she says, run into Salma Hyac. I got, I got free, right? I got the, I got the, green light, right? So you're about to tell us she ran into South of a high?

Oh my God. No, unfortunately not. But no, I got the, I got, I got another hall pass. I got the green light to take psychedelics with me the next time we go to Hawaii. Oh, nice. Oh, yeah? Yeah, fuck, dude. We did the volcano tour and stargazing and all that. Don't take them at the volcano. You might reenact Joe versus a volcano or something. Oh man. Just. You start sacrificing kids.

No, I would never do that. But not a purpose anyway. No, just to sit by the, and the waves and all that stuff and just the breeze. It's just, I don't know, it's a whole other world. Brian was telling us, listeners, everybody, be aware. Brian was just telling us he's about to move to Houston. So, uh. Yeah.

Sure. so look it's still what about 97 high here philip or something like that are we doing we're doing weather check yeah we're doing the weather report weather the weather returns still fucking hot but not crazy hot i mean i'm still pretty crazy hot but not like the sun's trying to kill me hot yes at least i haven't had to mow my yard all summer brian because it's been literally dead all that All that rain, you guys have been hoarding in Anchorage. We haven't gotten any of it. Oh, gosh.

It felt like it's been like a month. I have a little septic mound in the back that's pretty green, but all the rest of the grass is dead. Oh. So that's the, is that the Russell brand? I had to go there. We were talking about it. No, let's not weigh in. Let's move on.

It is 52 degrees here. Oh. Oh, man. That sounds awesome. When you go work in addicts in 52 degrees? Oh, I know. I like it. I don't mind that.

I just got to lose a couple pounds again. It was easier to do it 40 pounds ago. And it was, as much as I missed you guys last week, it was cool listening to the show. Yeah. It's kind of like an outsider listening. You loved our glorious reviews of both movies. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely.

Both are most Watched Most needed to be watch movies Well I really I really actually did want to see the older one I never got around to it though But Lance

Your excitement from Reading the synopsis Yes That's probably as far as it'll go Yeah It was not good All right Well I picked the right

I would more recommend Than Nun 2 over that one Even though I probably gave it a higher score Yeah and that kind of sucked too hey is number one at the box office yeah yeah not much competition well I read an article article that was asking if horror was back

because I guess number two was what is that movie the haunting of Venice yeah oh I kind of wanted to say that right yeah for a mystery yeah I guess the nun two and that were one and two in the box office Yeah, there's not a whole lot out Within the next

Starting next week You got Saw and then you got the exorcist Yeah, that's the one I'm looking forward to Five nights at Freddy's Yeah, that's right Your son's gonna love that, Philip Oh, I know, he already asked me if I could take him to see it Plus his birthdays that weekend

Trying to talk my daughter into coming Because she was pointing out like she she watched the trailer and she feels like the movie is a mixture of more than just one game oh you're gonna have a I looked at her and I was like huh all right

hey we're all gonna talk about it on our how much different are they because every time I've tried to play it I've played like one or two episode or like levels and then just kind of quit oh no I've tried it like two or three times and I'm like man I don't get it She hasn't played the games in a while

But she definitely wants to see it Because she's a big Matthew Lillard fan Because of Screams And she's been watching Inger games And it's got What's the name? Peter Bread

Oh, that's right Yeah, yeah Just the main guy, right? Yeah Yeah, I don't know, man You know, you... It's better when Nick Cage did it I was about to say, Philip

You ought to get some energy drinks like Nick Cage and they'll stay awake through the game. Play some pinball. I like the Nick Cage one because it was like, it was like an old man playing five nights at Freddy's. Oh, they show up and they're all scary and he's like, right? Get their fuck out of my face right now.

And he does not say a word in that entire movie. It's just no nonsense. But the whole attitude of the movie is I'm too old for the shit. He picks interesting roles. I just watched a trailer called Brutal or something, the Western one, where he's ball-headed. Yeah. He's like a mountain man or something that gets hired to take this guy. He wants to go into the wilderness or Wild West to, like, go buffalo hunting and the cage is like some kind of mountain man.

He's ball-headed. I was like, you pick some interesting roles, man. Yeah. There's definitely a Nick Cage speech or two in there for sure where he like has the opportunity to go full Nick Cage. But maybe with a little bit of pig in there, you know. It's going to be a scene where the young guy has a chance to kill the Buffalo and he doesn't. And the Buffalo almost kills him. And then Nick Cage is going to go off on him, Nick Cage style.

Oh, probably. And he's got to give him a speech how it's neither you or the Buffalo. Yeah. I can see that in the head already. Oh, man. Well, it sounds cool. It writes itself, guys. We've got to write a fucking movie.

I mean, how can be much worse than the happening, right? Wait a man. We'll get there. We'll get there. Come on. Marcy already wrote us a movie, remember? We never acted it out. We've been on YouTube over a year now,

and we still haven't acted that fucking sequel to the fanatic out. I bet we can get Nick Cage. He seems to take any other. I bet we could. Well, you can't now. He'd be a scam. Maybe we'll pay him in drugs. We're an independent movie.

Ah, okay. Are we, so we don't fall under the rules? Yeah, but he's probably part of the, what is it, Screen Actors Guild or whatever. Oh, for sure. Yeah.

I could I could just I could just see it right now man Nick Nick Cage does a movie and people start calling him a scab and he owns it Scabham! Scab! Scab! Let me get him! Oh man, let's move on to Cool of the Week. What you guys got? Brian did you? Yeah, I'll go first because I haven't, you know, we were talking off camera. I've been having a really trying week this week so I didn't have enough

time for TV or movies, but I did catch another episode of season two on Chuckie after I went on my rant about about it not being on peacock. It showed up on peak, yeah. I'm liking it so far. I'm still kind of, I'm in the middle of it, so I'm not really seeing where all the insanity is leading to, which I did catch the poster for season three. And looks like in season three, Chuckie's headed to the White House. No. I'm really interested to see what this. And I did catch a little clip.

It didn't be any worse. I did catch a little teaser clip and it is confirmed. And Devin Sawa is back for season three to play another character. But he's giving me the president. Actually, he'd probably be better than any of the choices we'd say it. But I'm saying. I'd give it a shot. I do like, in season two, he plays a priest.

I do like how the show knows what it is. Because when the main character meets him, and after they're done talking, he's walking away. He was like, that guy really reminds me of my father. Oh, God. They're self-aware, huh? Yeah. And I'm almost done with season one of Tulsa King,

which I 100% recommend that show. Really? All right, I guess I really need to watch it. Same here. Because I know Ned is talking about it forever. It is, I really love Stallone as this old school gangster that he gets out of prison for doing his time for, you know, he doesn't talk, he shuts his mouth, does his time, and kind of gets out and everything's kind of moved on. And he's still holding on to these, like, old school ways, but still trying to adapt to life as, as it is now. And I'm glad it doesn't, each episode is not like him, like, trying to figure out technology or how things work.

You know, he had a couple moments early on, and, you know, he's adapted now. So it's not like every episode. He's like, what's Uber? What's, you know, what's the interim? Yeah. Yeah. They did that demolition, man. Yes, it did.

And a lot of great characters in it. Good story. The one guy is the showrunner and creator. Taylor Sheridan? What is he not the showrunner of right now? I was going to say, I know I've heard him. I bet he's writing like a madman right now, being in lockdown.

Oh, yeah, that's right. And how many dames? I was about to start Yellowstone, but how many spin-off shows does it have already? just just the two so far yeah it's not I know they've got the 1883 yeah 19 in 1926 1926 but then they've got another one yeah where it's like a black sheriff or something it looks pretty fucking cool is that four sixes ranch the one that takes place in texas because I think that's going to be the next one because one of the ranch hands went off they

they sent him down to Texas. I was just about to post about that. And it's actually filmed on TV. No, this one is like an old way. I think it's a spinoff from 1883. Yeah, it's called Lawman Bass Reeves. Dude, it looks good. Yeah, I cut the trailer for that one.

Holy shit. Just from the trailer, it looks good. I'm like, damn, I don't want to watch that. I haven't watched any of this. spin-offs, but I do love some Yellowstone. Yeah, that's all I got this week. Still, I

almost got my 31 list filled out, kind of passing on a lot of movies. Was going to watch Blue Beetle. I saw that it's available. Does that qualify as a 31 days of horror? I was curious about that one. Ned,

everybody I talked to says it was good. Nez says it was good. He says it's not the best superhero movie, but it's fun. Yeah. It looks like it was going to be fun, but more like a kid's style movie. And they had a lot of confidence in the character

because as far as I know, that's the only one that's going to be in the new DC universe that they're keeping over so far. That's what they say, right? Well, they signed that the Cobra Chi kid to a multi-picture deal. So, I mean, you might not get another

Blue Beetle movie, but you'll get him in something. Okay, Justice League or something like that. I think they're going to wait a long time before they do Justice League. Yeah, no kidding. Just see how the Superman movie works out. Right. I have faith in James Gunn.

Who's the new Superman, right? I don't know. He looks like a young Clark Kent. Okay. He's not as big description. He's not as, he looks like. he looks like he could be related to Henry Cavill, but just not as big as Henry Cavill. But you know what?

When they did that in Smallville, I think it totally worked. It worked, yeah, it worked. So we'll see. I have faith in James Gunn. He writes some good shit. He's directing it, too. Yeah.

Watch him bring in Brightburn, right? Oh. That movie. I'll just say it now. Save it for news. Oh, you got it. All right. I'm listening.

I'll just say it now. They're developing the sequel. Is the rumor? Oh, to Brightburn? Is the weird rumor true about it? What? I heard a weird rumor about the sequel. What was that?

Brightburn. I think somebody's putting me on. They said it was going to be entirely written by AI. Oh, wow. I don't know. I don't know. It seems like, I don't even. That was probably a joke, but.

Uh-huh. By the time it comes out, it probably won't be. I don't know. I think people are starting to use this AI to sell, to market things. Like, I just saw, like, I like to try different snacks and stuff like that. So I follow this Instagram page, and I guess Coca-Cola is putting out a AI-created, like, they created AI created a recipe for what Coca-Cola would taste like in the year 3000. And I think that's a bunch of bullshit.

Yeah, that's probably simple. Sounds horrible. Just marketing. Throw poison in it. Just like the pesky humans. The prompts that you can give it to create some pictures are now turning into little videos and it's getting like better by the day. Oh no. Yeah.

It's a little creepy. You have to agree on what was it? Secret invasion, not secret invasion, invasion. Okay. What was that Marvel show? That was so great that I already forgot about it. The secret invasion. You got to admit that opening intro art that AI created bullshit was horrible.

Well, that's why I'm saying it's getting better by the day. Because when it first came out, even if they created a picture, like, you know, people's arms would bend weird or something. It didn't make any sense. And you could tell you're like, all right, something's wrong with that. An uncanny valley. Whatever, whatever technology that was, that's what we used for the intro to that show. Secret Invasion. That's why it's AI, dude.

It's the same fucking technology. It's just getting better. And then we'll go to war with it, just like in that movie, I think it comes out next week, the creator. Yeah, like probably 10 years. So like in a year, we're going to be like, holy shit, these AI little short, videos are amazing. Oh, yeah. And five years, they're going to be making

movies and take over the whole industry. That's what they want us to believe the takeover is going to happen when that movie created drops. Everybody's going to be in the theater watching it when it happens. In 10 years, fucking SkyDap. I'm not convinced we're not already in it,

guys. We might be. I've met some people I thought they were robots. Or like seriously in PCs, right? Nobody's controlling that person. He's just programmed to do what he does. Or it could be the alien.

Phil, you need to give me, I probably already have it, but send me your email. I got a screener for you to check out. Oh, an alien one? That's a documentary. Yes. It's all true, Phil. I love the documentaries, man. I think that was in the email.

Is it all true? Most of it, I really think is. I have to sort of watch myself because I want to believe so hard, so I'm still sort of skeptical. But there's a whole lot of shit where I'm like, okay, it's fucking real. One of the things that didn't help was Mexico bringing out those alien bodies. Did you guys see?

Yeah. Stop it. We've had these the whole time. Well, that guy had already been like busted in the past with like a fake alien thing. It turned out to be like a mummified child. Oh. Yeah. That's not these.

That was like 10 years before this where he had brought something out and it turned out to be a mummified child. So he doesn't have a whole lot of credibility. mummified aliens El Chapo's wife released from prison already Well, and then I think I saw a picture of the mummified aliens Like standing next to somebody and they're like, this big Like, wait a minute Is this like literally the alien that was in the face in men and black?

I'm sure What we think aliens look like is probably not even close to what they they probably put it actually an octopus they'd been here the whole time yeah that's all I got hey I was listening to the scary dads podcast I can't find the article they were talking about

they found some kind of a new element here on earth like little discs that they took it to a research facility and determine that it's absolutely not of earth origin all kidding aside yeah Ivy Lowell He's a... Okay, all right.

Yeah, no, I'm telling you, man, I'm into this shit. Uh, yeah, he found some, some particles. It's from like a meteor, so it's not like... Yeah. But it's like these weird alloys and shit from a meteor that don't make sense. Vibraneum? Yeah, no, I don't know what it is, but... In Black Panther, isn't that where Vibrinian came from?

Oh, I just say a meteor hit hit, hit Waconda. They've been trying to tell us forever. That's the one place where it exists, right? Because that's where the... That must have been a big fucking meteor, huh? As much shit as they make from it. But, like, he was saying that because of the alloys, it was not a naturally occurring thing.

It had to be created. And if it was created, it had to be created by somebody else. That's not us. Well, maybe it could have been naturally occurring, but from elsewhere, Philip. Probably. That seems like pretty reaching for something like that. But according to him, it was something that had to be created elsewhere, and it wasn't a naturally occurring thing, even in space.

Very interesting. I know. Anyway. How about them cowboys? All right. How about them cowboys? We'll go with my cool of the week because that's definitely my cool of the week, man. I got a lot of football.

Jesus Christ. But we'll start with the Cowboys. All right. Because, man, I know they say every year, this is our year. But, dude, I have never in my life seen a defense play the way that these guys are playing. Michael Parsons is the best player in the NFL, period. Wow. He is tearing shit up every play.

Give that man a bonus. Seriously. As long as he doesn't get hurt, I think nobody can stop him. I mean, that line four guys up on him, and he's still right there. It's like one, two, three, job, and he's still in your face. It doesn't make any sense. Maybe he's an alien. That would make sense.

I've never seen somebody like this. Or AI. He's the Michael Jordan of football right now. Yeah, man. It's crazy, yeah. So loving that happening My son just started playing football And they've been tearing it up too

There was almost a fight between one of our players Oh, you should have let it play out And the kid holding the fucking first down stick Because he was like talking shit the whole time And then this kid finally started walking him down And then his mama came out Yeah, you bad not they shut it down but we were fixing to get some shit

I had been there I had to volunteer to hold those first down markers and I just got into one of the parents because the play was coming towards me so I had a choice of neither drop it or stand there and knock these kids down

so I dropped it and the kid tripped and fell over it And the parent came at me saying it was the other team that I tried to injure their team. Oh, yeah. No, well, and the parents of the kid that ran on the field was they, the whole time were screaming. It was, it was pretty comical. Yeah. Is this his first year plan?

Yeah. You'll see him. Trust me. My son's like Pop Warner for five years. You'll see a lot of fights with parents, fights with parents and coaches. Yeah. Fights with coaches within the same team. Like, baseball was relatively civil.

I mean, we had our moments, but, yeah, football is a whole different animal. Different animal. It's fun. A lot of accusations thrown from back and forth. But, boy, they've been tearing it up. far. I mean, we're only two games in, but they've, they beat some big ass kids. And, uh, my unathletic ass kid is actually doing pretty good. Oh, stop. Sometimes it's, uh, not, not about being the biggest on the field. Right.

Yeah. I see we, my son played against some pretty big teams, but they were just big and slow. Yeah. Just kind of ran around them. Heart wasn't in it as much. It's like Rudy, man. It's all about heart. Rudy. Rudy. But, but, but, yeah. But, That's good your son is he's adjoining it, right? Yeah, he actually said he was having a good time. I figured it sent him running back to baseball, but he seems to be liking it. He's on the line, right? Yeah, he's a right.

He's a right tackle, and, man, he did not let a single guy get by him. I was really proud of him. That's good, because I know a lot of kids that get put on the line and they just kind of get bummed out because in their mind, they're going to play quarterback or running back. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, he's not a kind of guy that wants a ball. And I played on the line.

And so I've been teaching him some stuff. And, man, he's using it. And he was not letting those kids get by. It was great. He's not like knocking him over. Like, we got one kid who will put a shoulder into somebody and just send him flying every fucking time. It's crazy. He's not knocking him over.

He's like, oh. He's not knocking him over yet. Yeah. It will be. That's what it. Once he gets that aggression in, he doesn't. doesn't really have a lot of aggression in him he's well once he gets that first

could pop on somebody yeah and sees that reaction from everybody yeah he's gonna want to do it again he probably will well and he's still he's still 12 so he hadn't I don't think he's quite hit that like angsty kid

thing yet but yeah so those are my cool of the weeks for sure also checked out seven psychopaths. Just kind of had it on in the background while I was doing some shit. Hadn't watched that one

in forever. You're going to do a Christopher Walken, depression? Yeah. It's crazy. I was a great movie. The acting, fucking Sam Rockwell, dude. I love that guy.

I love him. And everything that he's in. And on top of that with Christopher Waltz, it's great. Oh, All right. Well, yeah. I know. That's the one. That's the one.

We're not revealing that movie, but I'll just say that was a complete. I'm just here to collect a paycheck movie. I always think of him in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. That's one of my favorite roles that he played Zaphyde Beul-Rog. It's so awesome. I always think of him from Charlie's Angels, where he was the villain. Oh, yeah. He gets that introduction when you know he's the villain, and he's, because he's always dancing in the movie. Yeah.

dancing when he gets truly introduced as the villain or uh green mile yeah green mile oh yeah green mile i forgot he's in that one um freaking uh that one that one that one that one that he did with anna kendrick did you guys see that one oh the assassin yeah he's like it man yes okay i can't remember the name of the movie i vaguely remember it yeah that one was pretty good and moon where he Moon was good. That's right. Choke. Choke was good, where he was the con man

pretending to, pretending to always be somewhere where he's choking on something. And then he gets somebody to, he gets somebody to help him. And then after he kind of plays to their sympathy and kind of ends up conning him out of money. He's just, I like seeing that guy on screen, man. Every time I see him on there, I want to see more.

Yeah. He's awesome. Christopher Walker. It's awesome. There's a shitload of great people in that movie. They're supposed to bring his character. They're supposed to bring his character back from Ironman. Oh, yeah.

See, and he was great in Iron Man, too. Anyway. So, yeah, I had a good time watching that one. I always enjoy it. That may be one of my favorite performances from him. Christopher Walkins got a lot of good ones, too. Colin Farrell in that movie? Yeah, Colin Farrell.

in it and he's actually got the Irish accent going. Okay. Somebody else is in it too. And I can't think of their name right now. But anyway. Woody Harrelson. What the fuck, dude? That cast would cost you a lot right now.

Seriously. Although not right now. It's a great movie and it's like it keeps it lighter toned the whole time. It's super inappropriate jokes and they're all hilarious. Mr. Wright. Mr. Wright. That was the one. Dude, totally underrated movie.

I showed my mom and she hated it. I don't know. It's okay. But yeah, that's all I got. And how many TV shows do you guys think they've already got written out and filmed in the can ready to go? Because I don't know about you guys, but like if you look at what's coming up on Apple TV Plus and prime and all that, It's like they're not slowing down. Are they really doing a strike?

Are they filming shit in back rooms? I think what they're releasing was already filmed. There's a lot of it, man. So we're going to have like a dead time coming up? I think so. Because I think we're going to have a lot of Patreon sponsored episodes in November and December. Weird how that happened and now like the auto industry is going on strike. Yeah.

Because Tim Burton came out. He said Beetlejuice 2 is 99% done. 99%. And then they shut down production. So he's like, we were fucking this fucking close. Oh, man. So they fucked themselves because there's so much material that's already stashed away, right? Yeah.

We're not feeling the pain right now. I think I read that John Wick spin-off movie, The Ballerina. I think they said that movie's filmed, but they were in the middle of editing and stuff, and they had to completely just stop what they're doing and walk away. They're not doing an editor strike, right? Well, I think it's a, if they're supposed to be like reshoots and stuff like that. Hmm. Interesting. We may start getting some real garbage, huh? Yeah. Or.

It's October. Or it lightens up. the load on the big fucking blockbuster which would be great really super huge movies and let some creativity into the industry again so every movie's not a fucking remake or reimagining or see or see invasion or whatever you know it's not a part of some kind of goddamn franchise yeah right maybe i i think i think the struggle end soon because i read the studio is kind of getting

They're kind of feeling it right now because they can't promote anything. They can't. Oh, that's right. There is that. I imagine everybody involved is pissed off about this. The people that can't work and aren't making any money and the people that aren't making money off the people that aren't making money. Makes sense, yeah.

And you got Ron Perlman at the picket lines. You don't want to piss that guy off. He looks more like a gorilla than any human being I've ever seen. Yeah, he looks like a gorilla that. Every time I see him, I think, hellboy or clay. Clay. I think about the eight from Congo. You guys, do you guys remember back in the day when he was the Beast?

Yes. It was a beauty of the Beast like TV show. Oh, yeah. That was a long time ago. Yeah, Linda. Yeah, Linda Hamilton. I thought you were like X-Men Beast. I was like, what's it?

I got the thinking. yeah he missed all right cool of the week what you got what you got Lance first I'm going to start with I was on the airplane I was in the wrong place to be watching this episode but I got

the Star Trek Strange New World's musical episode in Brian just for you just for me just for you and I was okay this is not the best musical ever but it's

it's part of Star Trek canon so I'm going to keep watching it. But when they got to singing and dancing Klingons, everybody on that fucking airplane thought there was something wrong with me. They were looking at AJ. She was like pushing me, like to have a scow on the face, started punching my arm. Were you dancing or something?

I just could stop laughing, man. He was being ridiculously loud. It happens every time. So the musical episode broke you. It literally broke me, dude. You got to see it to believe it. It was only like 10 seconds. We got ripped off.

It was only 10 seconds of the Klingons. But we're not doing a musical number, man. And dancing in their shiny outfits. Aren't they like rapping or something? Go see it, Brian. I cannot see. Plingons do not sing and dance. I cannot hear about a musical, Lance, I swear, without even thinking about you.

I've seen the trailer for, they're doing. a remake of the color purple and it's a musical. I was like, Lance is probably going to fucking watch this. Well, I will. But that's not my cool of the week. That's my weird of the week.

That's my broke of the week, right? I got broke. It was fun. It was fun, though, especially with AJ. I got bruises on my arm. She hit me so hard. Shut the fuck up. Shut up.

All these people in the airplane seats in front of me were like getting up out of their seats. This guy had to be. Yep. Oh, why does that not surprise me at all? It was like the last five minutes of the episode. Was this coming from Hawaii? On the way, too.

Oh, I was about to say you could have told everybody you rocked that Maui-Wawi. I don't do well with planes. I'm on a lot of drugs. Oh, yeah. I know a lot of people probably do that, right? Yeah. I would not want to be on acid. on a plane though, dude.

I just can't. I just can't sleep. That's my thing. Even if I'm like, if it's going to be like a super long plane, I'll just be up the whole time. Same here, dude. We left it like, oh, we had two flights and a seven-hour layover. So we had the day from hell.

Yeah, like the wife, she hates to fly. So she'll, she'll take something to make sure she's at least on the way of falling the sleep before the plane takes off. Smart move. Smart move. I can't do it. I get excited. I want to sit by the window. I want to see the plane take off. Yeah, it is kind of fun. Yeah. Until you get in the clouds and you can't see anything.

Yeah, no. Once it's a super long deal or you're sitting squished up against people and you're like, I'm just going to sleep. What's your cool in a week? Hold on. My granddaughter's texting me. Let me respond back. She said, do we have any pizza sauce at home? I said, not sure I'm podcasting. So, okay, I did read the new...

Who doesn't have pizza sauce, Lance, come on now. We got to have some pizza sauce. I did read the new Stephen King novel, Holly. So I didn't realize this is her sixth book, Stephen King book, to appear in. But do you know who this character is? Holly Gibb. She was in The Outsider. She's really kind of a flighty chick.

Okay. Weird. And she's like, so she started out in the book, Mr. Mercedes, and she was in all three of those books, the Bill Hodges series. Did you all see the TV series, Mr. Mercedes? I caught a couple episodes. Okay. Well, you haven't seen it, Phil?

No. It's great. It's great. Brian. Check it out. Yeah, Brian Gleason plays Bill Hodges. But, yeah, no, she's quickly, rapidly, becoming his second biggest character since Roland.

Although they say the man in black is in almost all of his books. If you know where to look for him. So, yeah, but it's, it's okay. It's not my cool of the week. It's my okay of the week. It's not my favorite Stephen King book. Pretty short, like 400 and something pages, so short for a King book. But he's coming out with a short story series next,

which he's kind of due for because he did the, like four novellas a couple of years ago, but this is going to be like a full-on short story collection. Again, it was okay. I don't want to give anything away. It was some very, I guess it was the type of villains in it you don't see all the time. Definitely not the people you would expect to be villains in a book. So it kind of makes you rethink that.

But it's less than a year, so I'm not spoil it. But I did go back and read. He has ever heard of Ken Kesey? the guy who wrote One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest? Yeah. So this dude, he has ever heard of the electric Kool-Aid acid test.

Oh, it sounds fun. It is definitely proving that the truth is stranger than fiction. So Kim Kesey gets together. This was like right before they outlawed LSD, which was in 65. I don't want to not know what this is. This sounds like right up my alley kind of.

It's great, dude. It's a book. They're supposed to finally make a movie of it. They've got a documentary, but they're supposed to actually make a movie of it that I think Gus Van Sant was supposed to direct. But the book is pretty cool because it talks about, so this dude with this dude, I don't get it, man. It's weird. I couldn't live like this, but he did. He made a lot of money off. One Flew of the Cuckoo's Nest. And he took all of his fucking money and he bought like rolls and rolls of film and a couple of cameras, a bunch of recording equipment. equipment and an old school bus. And he got like 12 people and they all rode together

and toured the country. So he made the original bang bus. They weren't banging though. They were true. That would have been a totally different. Oh, and they just filmed each other and like traveled around the country

and did a bunch of drugs and shit. Yes. Okay, I know what you're talking about. That's the true story. And like back in his He bought a house out the middle of nowhere in Northern California just to, like, be on his own. And they just, he, like, met people like Hunter S. Thompson and other kind of, you know, weirdos that were out there. But he invited the Hells Angels out there. And everybody was like, this is a really bad idea.

This can't go well. And it went beautifully. Like, the Hells Angels, he turned him on to acid. And his descriptor was the guy named Owsley that made, like, the best acid in the world. and it was coming from the West Coast. So he would distribute this stuff, and then they would take, like, capsules of it, which was like 10 times what we're taking now,

like on a paper tab. But he's working for the fucking government, man. I don't know. Some MK. Ultra shit. Well, you know what? There's a little section there in the beginning of the book that makes me believe that's how he got started. I think he got started that way, and then he took it with it.

That's a thing that happened. Yep, that's a thing that happened, man. So just like, you know, just like Native Americans actually being here first, that's the thing that really happened. Yeah. So, yeah, it's a trip, dude, because they, like, cut out the top of the bus so they could move the, they, like, sawed it out, and then they had a removable, or movable roof. And they would all get up there and play flutes and piccolo's and shit. And they would, like, if they saw a guy walking real, like, he was sad and looking down at his feet, they would go, look right at him

the people would flip them off all the time and yell at him you fucking dirty hippies and this was before hippies it's like 64 so they were ahead of their time it's a it's a fun book it's a fun book you should read all about their adventures in the electric Kool-Aid acid test I just can't believe no one's made a movie out of it yet

it's like way overdue because the book was written a very long time ago but that's that's far and away my cool of the week. It was a lot of fun reading that. Nice. All right. Brian, what's up in the world of news? Not a whole lot. I've been going to look for pizza sauce.

Hold on. Get the boring stuff out of the way first. Yeah, we'll start with the boring shit right here. Len Wiseman teases that the underworld TV series is still in development. Because, you know, we were all waiting for the underworld TV series. Oh, yeah. I was like, oh, they're still doing those? alright is Kate Beaconsel still in it? I mean, if you want people to watch the TV series I'm going to have to

Yeah Still hot Still super hot She's yeah, hooties Oh shit No news Lance might be Lance might be coming back to

Just us talking about other stuff Because I would want to say his his like electric coolade acid whatever I think that is the going theory is that MK Ultra funded that

and started the fucking hippie movement or something along those lines I may be mixing some things up I haven't heard that one in particular in a long time but I think that makes sense yeah the government man I'm telling you

Okay, let's see here. Rob Zombie's House of A Thousand Corpses has returned to the theaters for its 20th anniversary this October. Oh, I got... I got looking into some Bill Mosley stuff because of the movie that we were watching this week, and I didn't realize how much stuff he was in. Oh, yeah, he's probably...

He's probably able to still act in something right now because he's always in those kind of low budget Yeah, Dane Dahan. Did I miss anything? Dane Dahan's too good to be in a low budget horror movie. Almost friend of the show, Bill Moseley. Almost friend of the show.

He's like, nah, you guys can fuck off. Right. All right, thanks. Well, we almost got Lance Henriksen, but remember how that went. I don't know if I would go watch. um rob zombie's house of a thousand quarters it's coming back lans to the theaters for its 20th anniversary i think that'd be a fun one to are they gonna yeah are they gonna add any totally i mean i'm just

saying that because i i actually watched the movie opening day on its original release yeah i took i took my brother and he was so pissed off because of the movie because he didn't understand what the fuck was going on oh really yeah but now that it's kind of a cult classic i think going back to watch it on like a Halloween day or something would be super cool yeah yeah I would I'd check it out oh news news news is there any news they ought to do some Exorcist free releases every year for how yeah yeah they should the sometime I think the week before or during the week of the new release of the new movie the Exorcist is going back into theaters oh nice That one in the theaters is something to experience.

I've never done it. Oh, my God, yes. It's so fucking amazing. On acid. Well, no, but on the re-release, when they did the 2000 re-release, I went to go see it in the theaters, and I, like, jumped out of my fucking seat when she came down the stairs backwards

because it was a scene I'd never seen before. I guess we got to go if they do it. Yeah. I am struggling here. Paranormal activity of the found footage horror franchises getting a stage play. Hello. Mike check. Brian.

Yeah. Come in, Brian. Getting a what? Mike check. Hey, Brian, can you hear me? Yeah. Pedro wanted me to ask you a question. Okay.

He said that if we do a Vegas get-together next year like we're supposed to for the podcast, promise to be there? Yeah. I like L.A.S. just decided, oh, yeah, this is the thing that we're doing. No, no, no. I thought you had some breaking news. Oh, I wish. Thought Pedro had some insider movie news that he just happened to text you right now.

Probably does. Let me text him while you guys are talking. Oh, gosh. I am scrolling here. Well, I guess we have to now. Brian is doom scrolling, the news. Check for president. John Carpenter John Carpenter. Yeah, he says to Brian Fuller.

He said to Brian Fuller, Christine remake is still happening. But, of course, not now. Philip Hay. I kind of don't care. Like, why? I know. I'd kind of like to get a better version.

I didn't love the movie, honestly, guys. That is right. But like, do we really need to make another one? Like, cars aren't even fucking cool anymore. They all look the same. Oh, an electric Christine, an EV. Great. I don't want to watch that movie. It goes in shocks people. They put their hand on it.

So you defeat it by not allowing it to charge up? It's an evil smart car, those little, like, pregnant roller skate looking things. Oh, my gosh. You just cracked the code. It's going to be like it's going to be like the Child's Play remake where it was a AI doll. It's going to be an AI brand car

that's going to malfunction. Now I would watch a movie about that not called Christine. Oh, like how they remade Child's Play and called it Megan? Yeah. Although,

consensus says it was pretty good. Yeah. I liked it. M.3. M. 3. I'm ready to see her and Chuckie get together and get it on. Oh, it'll happen. If you can come after her. Popularity of Chuckie. Oh, yeah.

But Thregan puts out one more hit movie. I'm not sure I want to think about that too hard. Then when the franchise jumps to shock. then you and Annabel for some reason. She'll just be in the background, not doing anything. She's the jealous ex. A gun,

I don't even known a gun. Oh, Tony Todd is going to return for Final Destination 6. He has to. Yeah, because there was one movie. We'll eventually get to that retrospective, but there was one movie,

which was probably the worst out of, of the franchise. He was not in it. There you go. That's what happens. Take Tony Todd out of the equation and that's what you get. I think it was the 3D one. Oh, God. I like Texas Chase's off. Oh, wait, we'll get to that.

Let's see. Upcoming Nicholas Cage horror movie Long Leges. It'll be the next big thing. Is rated R for bloody violence and disturbing images. God, he's got like a Daddy Longlegs movie or what? Let me click on it

See what it's about I know I didn't watch it There was a trailer for a 24 movie that he's in It's supposed to be like a kind of horror Esk Yeah He's doing he's also I'm telling you he does everything

He's doing 824 movies now I believe that He's really doing a shitload of movies, isn't he? Got to pay for all them Mansions at the IRS took and comic book collections and dinosaur skulls. But he did this before and got

really shitty. Sympathy for the devil wasn't great. Brian, you were right. It was kind of man. I mean, it wasn't bad. I guess he's just playing the odds at this point. They just kind of teased you on something that never happened or something he

not was. You know, to be fair, it's kind of the same thing that Samuel Jackson does. Is it? Well, like secret invasion that guy takes everything yeah until like very recently

Samuel Jackson was in every fucking movie out there I was like one of them was bound to hit I don't see what the synapsis is oh no they're making a they're making a sequel to that Nicholas Cage movie where he was the

arms dealer this was called God of War That's a great movie This was called Lords of War And his son is His son is going to be played by Pennywise You got me looking here Brian

Really? Yeah Is that a real thing You just thought it's a real thing Yeah that's happening Oh this Long Legs movie is directed by Osgood Perkins Oh wow

Okay How good is the Lords of War going to be Lord of War is the name of his movie I believe it's that was the movie. No. No. I think it's horrible.

No, I'm doing the scene in the movie. Yeah. He was like, I believe it's warlord. He was like, no, I like the way I say it better. Great movie. I've only seen it once and it was, you know, when it first came out. Sure. What's his name was in the movie doing all the cocaine?

Oh, God. What's his name? I haven't seen. Joker. I've seen it. Oh, really? Not, not Joaquin, but, uh... Oh, not Joaquin. The Joker from the Justice League.

What the fuck is his name? Oh, no, the Joker. Jared Letto? Jared Letto, yeah, he was doing... Nichols-Cage's brother, and he was doing all the cocaine in that movie. Oh, yeah. Dude, I got to watch that movie again. He did, in the, there's a scene in a movie.

He takes a key of Coke. He makes an outline of the country, uh, Ukraine because that's where they're from. Oh, God. He's like, I'm going to start at this city and make my way around. Wow. Man, everything comes back around full circle, huh? Isn't that supposed to be based off a true story?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that was the guy we just tried it back to Russia. I think so, man. Yeah, matter of fact, I think you're right. Yep, yep. Or they just called him the same thing. I could be. I'm not sure if it was the movie based on him, but I think so. The Russian cocaine beer. Russian cocaine beer.

But I can't find the synopsis for long legs, but it also has Michael Monroe from It Follows. Sounds good. Ozgood Perkins. I'm in. I can't find any news. All right. You want to move on? We got a lot of trailers, too. So we got a full show tonight, even without feedback. My bad, sorry. Oh, no, that's okay, because we've been talking a whole lot of shit the whole time.

We're running long anyway. Oh, man. Oh, those guys in the electric Kool-Aid bus, like, if they saw somebody, like, was walking real fast or running to get somewhere, there you go. Dittledoo, dittledoo, like Waze World. Did you imagine? What a fucking trip to live like that, huh? That's when you go back in time. No, they went around the entire country.

Different chapters were like different parts of the country they were in. That's what I was saying. I think that that was the one where that may have been a government started thing. I don't know. Like some sort of M.K. Ultra thing and that's what sort of started the hippie movement. You know what? I think he was with MK. Ultra, right? And I think that's where he got introduced to acid.

And I think he stole some. and like distributed it out. They're like, oh, this is a mind opening. Because like Charlie Manson has some MK. Ultra fucking ties. There's probably people we wouldn't even imagine that do, right? Jack Ruby, the guy that killed Oswald. What a, yeah, I know. Everything comes together, doesn't it?

Yeah. It's all one big pattern. Anyway. Anyway, trailers, Brian. Yep, we're going to start with Dark Harvest. This is directed by David Slade. This is based on... David Slade.

David Slade, Jason. No, Slade. Lance. Oh, man. I think I want to see the one directed by David Spade. This is based off of the novel of the same name by Norman Partridge. And the novel is basically the book is set in Hamlet, where the young men must confront a creature each year in the hopes that they will.

win a desirable prize. That's what the book was based off. It would kind of look like maybe the trailer was something else. Because it looked like their crops were affected by something. So it kind of made me think that maybe

if they don't kill this, whatever it is, that their crops will be affected. Interesting. Children of the corn. I don't have a little children of the corn in there, huh? I don't know what that was. Nobody I recognize.

Ah, hey, speaking a friend of the show, Dark Harvest is published by Cemetery Dance Publications. Hey. So there you go, full circle again. No, they didn't give you really what was happening in this one. It does look kind of interesting. It does look cool. I love a good Halloween scare movie.

Yeah. Yeah, if it's the movie I created in my mind, I'm kind of interested into it, where instead of trick-of-treating every year they get, like, the young men or boys to go fight this creature or else something bad's going to happen, and they have to do this, like, every year.

Kind of like the Hunger Games, but with pumpkins. But that's probably not what the movie's about. I like the way you think. Yeah, but they sort of left it very ambiguous so you could kind of guess, which makes for a good trailer. So, we'll see what the movie's actually about. Yeah, like I said, I don't really recognize anybody in the cast.

Yeah, it doesn't look bad, though. Let me see what does David Slade. I have to say it right, because Lance will get excited. David Spade, what has he done? David Slade has directed films like, or he's worked on films like hard candy, 30 days a night. Yeah. Oh, wow.

What a resume. I've heard some breaking back. American gods black mirror. Yeah, I knew he did some TV shows. I'm all in, man. This is gonna be good then. Yeah, and this looks like it's getting an Alamo Draft House Cinema's one day release

on October 11th, but is going wide digital October 13th. Oh, okay. It's the Alamo draft house, man. They have all the cool shit. Yeah, they do. It's the only movie theater that's actually fucking doing something. Oh, Brian, what another thing? Pedro asked it for doing the new VHS movie.

He said he wants to do that one with us. It's not on the schedule. We can do it as a bonus episode. Okay, cool. Let's set something up. Or we'll do it as one of our 31 days maybe. Yeah, because. And Pedro and Philip on.

We'll make it a three-hour. Yeah, man, I want to watch it for sure. Because I think it comes out on October 6, which is, there's like three or four big, horror release is coming out on the same day and the biggest one is The Exorcist so I think that's why it didn't get on the schedule

but yeah I'm down to do a bonus episode cool all right all right moving on to our next trailer which is already looking better than that horrible remake from a few years I was just going to say let's hope it's as good as

the remake No, let's shoot higher. And we're talking about Pet Cemetery Bloodlines, a new Paramount Plus release. This is, let's see, this is directed by Lindsay Anderson Beer. And this star is Jackson White, Forrest Good Luck, Jack Mullen, Henry Thomas.

Pam Greer, David DeCuffey. I thought that looked like Pam Greer. Okay. I believe she's a PhD now, so it might be Dr. Greer. Oh, shit. Wow. Yeah. Lance, we'll start with you since you love the remix so much.

I think this looks great. I love the scene where the blood splattered on the girl from the side. That was kind of cool, like throwback to 70s and 80s horror there. But I'm a little worried. guys because they may have jumped the shark on this. Isn't the younger guy supposed to be Judd Crandall? Yeah, it's supposed to be that

story he told about how he had to bury his dog. Okay, so his story was he had to bury his dog, but this looks like it's got people coming back and all kinds of shit, so I don't know. Yeah, but you have to have the evil happening. Yeah, I always

kind of felt like there was more to the cemetery that the town knew about, not just Judd Crandall. Oh, and they weren't Because they had like a whole Windigo thing in the first one. Oh gosh. Don't bring that up in the remake

when they teased they were going to get the wind to go. And they just heard something in the forest. And then they were like, what was that? I don't know. All right, let's keep walking. And that was it.

But I think it looks pretty good. The cast looks good. I'm interested to see this story that, you know, we got told in the original and the remake about Judd Crandall and his experience, and maybe it just goes much deeper than what he went through.

Maybe it's something that the town was kind of covering up, and everybody knew not to mess with this cemetery. Well, we've all got Paramount Plus. I know Philip, when they first, what do they call it at first? CBS All Access, Philip? Yeah. Well, my only big issue with them was they were the first to do it.

And then everybody followed suit. And now we're all paying $200-something fucking dollars a month for TV instead of just paying $80 for cable. I will say, though, right now. You can't even get cable anymore. I'm sorry, Brian. Go ahead. Right now Paramount Plus is probably putting out the best content right now. They do have some good stuff.

AMC is pretty good because you got shutter. And IFC? Yeah, I'm talking about just a single, because those are like add-ons when you get AMC Plus. Right, right. Because Paramount Plus has all the Strong Track stuff, all the Taylor, Tyler Sheridan stuff. True. Yeah, Tulsa King. That's right.

I'm hearing everybody I've heard that watch that lioness show. Oh, yeah, I've heard great things. Yeah, so that's great. The geeks, the geeks loved it, man. They were, they were spoogeing all over it, man. I don't even know what that is. I'm going to have to look them. Lioness.

Zoe Saldon. It's like a special ops. I think that's the full title, Lioness, Special Ops. It's what you were, Philip, in the military, but you can't talk about it. Yeah, he can't. We'll go with that. We'll keep, keep up. Dead silence cover.

Special ops. Keep it. We don't want to get her podcast. Keeping the generator. She will shut off. We're already talking about MK Ultra. But yeah, the trailer looks fun. The movie looks cool. Get ready for a sexual assault? Accusation.

This also comes out, like I said, that October 6th release date, which is a bunch of horror releases. But we will be covering a week after The Exorcist. Nice. All right. All right.

Moving on to the final trailer. And as Blumhouse's new horror comedy, totally killer. This is directed by somebody. I cannot pronounce his name. So we'll keep moving. This star is Kieran Shipka, which a lot of people know her from Sabrina's on Netflix, the Teenage Witch. Oh, I do.

I recognized her. I couldn't place it. And speaking of Osga Perkins, we were talking about his Nicholas Cage movie. She was in that movie The Black Coates daughter. You guys ever check that one out? Interesting. Yeah, of course, I've seen it. That's a pretty

good movie. I feel like I have. It's like witches. But I don't remember it. It had to do with witches, so it was kind of like perfect. She got Cass's Sabrina. Yeah. Ah, okay. this is being described as Back to the Future meets screen

Meets what was the movie that had tree in it The one that Tim Davis hates so much Yeah yeah it looks very happy death day to me Very happy death day Which is not a bad thing Very final girls Yeah not a bad thing at all I did It looks funny I like it

I'll watch it Trying to see what she's done the director. Maybe this is... Go ahead. No, this might be what we're going to start getting now that the strike has really started to affect us. No, it looks fun.

It looks fun. No, they've been talking about this movie for a while. Yeah. Because I think... Four years. They probably filmed it in 87. I like the trailer. It caught my eye. I like the Back to the Future thing.

I know why they said that, but it still looks very happy death day. Yes, it is. I'm just, it's a slasher movie. I'm just hoping for some good kills. The cast looks fun. That the comedy could make or break the movie for me. Yeah, like, if the best jokes are in the trailer, we have a problem.

It should very well be, because there's a couple of pretty corny ones in there. Let's be honest. So, we shall see it comes out same day as VHS. All right. Exorcist. Damn. Oh. Totally killer.

All this shit's coming up against each other? That's dumb. This one is going to be a prime release. Okay. That's a little bit different. So we got... We got Totally Killer on Prime. VHS.

What is it? 84. Yeah. VHS on Shutter. Pet Cemetery Bloodline on Paramount. on Paramount Plus and then you got the Exorcist which will be coming in the theaters

Right That's a heavy That's a heavy month boys, heavy week Halloween, man About fucking time It's not a million degrees outside We got some spooky shit Yep

Already I got people coming in here That are grabbing a pizza oven That go make a pizza Oh so you did have pizza sauce You're holding out on everybody No, I wasn't holding out on the pizza sauce I think she had to go get it from the store

But they're gonna make it work They're gonna make it work That was my special pizza sauce Oh, I can't talk I wish I could talk about that Stephen Kingbug Holly What the bad guys are doing Pizza songs in that movie It involves cannibalism

That's all I'll say At the most unlikely Cannibal you can imagine I probably should ask you fingers if you can't dip them in some air and air. Probably should have asked you when you were talking about the book. Do you think that's possibly a new adaptation coming? You mean a movie?

Yeah. I have no doubt any fucking Stephen King things can be made into a movie. Just give it, what, a year? Yeah, but the most part... Maybe I should change the question. A good adaptation. I don't know. I see.

We've gotten some really good ones recently, but... We have. The older stuff wasn't so great. Well, I don't know, man. I really like the Mr. Mercedes series. I think you guys should go check it out. I'll put it that way. And if you like, did you watch The Outsider on HBO?

Lance, you know our start shows and never finish him. Oh, Holly's in the outsider. They bring her in about halfway through to help solve the case. Yeah. The outsider was Jason Bateman. Yeah, I've only seen the first episode, but I just remember Jason Bateman was acting so guilty. It was, it's, it's one season, just, I can't believe you didn't binge the whole goddamn thing. It's so good.

I just remember it, that and Lovecraft Country. Yeah, see, and I haven't watched Lovecraft Country at all. It shocked everybody when they canceled, HBO canceled both shows, because everybody was excited for season two for both shows. for both shows. I'm cool that there was no season two of The Outsider. Well, but there's another Holly Gibney story that was

in the four-part novella book. And that's cool, if it leads. The fact that it was only one season and it was just a nice... It was a self-contained story. Fucking tied the bow-up story. Just was great.

That makes me go, that's one of the best things on TV. Just do a new series called Stephen King's Holly. Yeah. They could do that. I like that. Make it a little mini-series. Tie it up into a bow, no cliffhangers, no none of that bullshit. Yeah.

Fucking tell the story and give me an ending. Make it on prime. Because that's where Mike Flanagan's at now. That's right. They're going to do the dark tower, hopefully the right way over there. I probably should have added that trailer. I haven't seen it yet. they finally put out a trailer for the fall of the House of Usher.

Oh, okay. Which, Lance, that's coming October 13th. Of course. We're going to have a busy October. Chuckie Season 3, I think, October 5th. Of course. So, October is actually... They're unloading everything.

They're loading up, yeah. And then there'll be nothing, right? From November through next November. Which could be a good thing, right? Like you said, Insigilip, a purging. We got Thanksgiving, November. The purge, the next purge,

the purge, shh. The purge, Hollywood. Ah. I think that's what's happening. Russell Brand is the first casualty. I don't think he's Hollywood anymore. That's why he's not protected, man. That's the problem.

All right. Feedback. Feedback. And on that note, on that note. This week we shine the podcast spotlight on Epic Film Guys. Thanks for keeping me on track, by the way. In-depth film discussion with a heaping help of comedy since 2014.

A proud member of the indie podcasting community and working hard to make a difference. Tune in and don't be shy. Epic Film Guys. Yeah, I've heard a couple episodes. They're pretty fucking good. They're entertaining. I think they have, I think, Lance, I don't know if it's their current episode or one of their current episodes. Speaking of Stephen King, I think they're doing their top five or top ten Stephen King movies.

Okay, I'm adding it right now. All right. Let's see what we got. The Nun. Oh, the Nun two review. You boys want to hear that one. I think I heard. I heard enough of them.

Top five Stephen King movies. I'm downloading it right now. All right, cool. All right. This is where I learned about new podcasts on the horror returns every week. All right. Let's see. Oh, that's all we got.

Feedback will return next week because Lance was in Hawaii. And I... You sound like Christopher Walken. You sounded just like Christopher Walken. Say that again? I don't think I can. Oh, Philip did. Oh, Lance.

He was in Hawaii. Too busy. Anyway, all of our show intro and new logos will come from Steve Carlton. Listen, there's going to be some more impersonations that are terrible throughout the rest of the episode. I promise you. No doubt. No, no. All right.

Steve Carlton. No, no, we got Marky Martin. It's coming. It's not a good impression. I do it every time. You guys hear he's, I guess, about to retire from acting. Is he? Yeah.

Close his time. Probably because he's so fucking rich now. Can't blame him. Maybe he's going to be a director now. Maybe he's going to be flipping burgers at Walburgers. Maybe. I'm surprised they hadn't fucked him up with all this. Anyway.

Oh, they can't do that. No. Oh, it'll happen. Nobody will believe it. And be on the lookout for some more great stuff from Steve. Our original skull artwork is from Natsu Lining. And if you'd like to help us out, please consider becoming a Patreon Patreon. You get to hear more bullshit like this, which will be awesome, right?

Right? Yes. Yes. Absolutely. And we'll let you pick the movies for a future show at any amount. And for $5 or more a month, not $5, which is not what I'm. I said the first time. Yeah, $5.5. Come on, guys.

Is it $5? All right, the special is over. You can give us $5. You can give us more if you feel inclined to. At least $5. Like I said, like I said last episode, if you... Listen, we have standards. If you're a Patreon donor and you haven't submitted your picks, your movie picks,

get them in now because I am doing the schedule for the rest of the year. We're cutting you motherfuckers off, you freeloading sons of bitches. Yeah, since October, after October, our schedule will be free of due releases. All right. Anyway, also pick a commentary for a future bonus show. Yes. All right. Featured attractions. This week, we ask once again,

in-depth film discussion with a heap of comedy since 2014. What? This shit makes... What just happened? I don't know. We're in the Matrix. I'm reading this and I'm like... It's Groundhog Day again.

Philip, did you have a stroke? What just happened? I did, well, I was reading what I was supposed to read. Oh, my God. Feature attractions we're going to do, is it that bad? Once again. With the happening as well as 2,000. 2013's Texas Chainsaw 3D.

I don't remember. Like, do you want to read it? I'm going to read it now. I have to. I think I just exiled cut and pasted something wrong. Probably. But now I have to read it just for context. This week we ask once again,

colon, in-depth film discussion with a heap of comedy since 2014, proud member of the indie podcasting community and working hard. to make a difference. Tune in, don't be shy. Is it really that bad?

With a dive into the happening, as well as 2013's Texas chainsaw 3D. That's why I was confused. Oh, man. Just for listeners who just maybe weren't paying attention, Philip did not have a stroke. There was just a little mishap with the notes. Anyway.

Oh, man. All right. We'll start with the fapening. That was a different movie. Christopher walking just came back. What's happening? It's not happening. From 2008.

I hear you whispering. Planning on stealing something. No, man, we're not. Plan on murdering me in my sleep. What? No. Trivia. A science teacher.

Played Mar-Mart. by Mark Walberg. That's who they chose to play the science teacher. His wife. May I also add, he was also a scientist in a Transformers movie. Oh, that's true. Yeah. No, he does. He does great. So maybe stop having him. And a young girl struggled to survive a plague that causes those infected to commit suicide. Directors, M. Knight Shammala Ding Dong, also known for Knock at the Cabin and the Fifth Sense.

Mark Wahlberg admitted that he regrets working on this movie, but said... Can we pause real quick? Yes. You said the Fifth Sense. I did not say the Fifth Sense. I said the Fifth Sense because... You said the Fifth Sense. Because fuck you, San Diego.

I'm going to read whatever's on the teleprompter. What is going on with these notes? Lays just came back from Hawaii, man. The Sixth Sense. All right. That's a different movie. Anyway. Thank you.

So Mark Wahlberg admitted that he regrets working on this movie, but said, hey, you can't. blame me for wanting to try to play a science teacher at least I wouldn't play in a cop or a cook a redsock a redsock man a redsock man Mark Wahlberg's line

be scientific douchebag was improvised okay so he did add to the movie a little bit all right the happening uh

Lance, you want to start us off? Man, I'm a huge Jim Knight fan. You guys know that. I've loved old, right? And what was the one everybody hated? The village? Even the fifth sense? The fifth sense was great.

Four cents, though, man. He doesn't see dead people on that one. That was the porno rip-off. That's right. That's right. I don't know. I mean, this is bad, but is it that? But is it really that bad?

Right? That's the question. we're here to ask. So I thought it was a bird box rip off until I read that Birdbox was written in 2014 and this came out in 2008. So I don't know. This probably inspired a few things,

birdbox among them, with the suicides and everything. But they were like, hey, you remember this shitty movie? Maybe we can make it good. Yeah, it's like, M-night, there wasn't really a twist in this one, right, guys? Or did I miss it?

There's no twist. There's no special character because in his movie, like, most of his character have some kind of special ability or something special about him. Right, right. There's no explanation. No, not really. Not an explanation. The dialogue is atrocious. Oh, wait.

And I know it's not my turn, but I wrote down this. No, it's your turn. That's how it works here, man. It's your turn. I've said enough. I'm done. what I was going to say too, though. This interaction with

between Mark Wahlberg and Zoe Day Chanel, they hear gunshots from another group over the hill and she, he says, oh, no. She says, what, oh, no. He says, what, no. What? No.

Yeah. That was an interaction. Yeah. Really bad. That was one of my main concerns in this whole movie was like, man, they've got some talent. Listen, as much as we like to make fun of Mark Wahlberg. Oh, I like Mark Wahlberg. I like Mark Wahlberg a lot.

And I really love Zoe DeCette Cheneuve. She was good at an elf. Other than that, what is she really done, right? Well, the new girl. Yeah. I never watched that. Oh, dude, fantastic. Yeah.

Good show. She's got a great singing voice. Yes. She's cool, man. I like her. She's got a very furry face. I noticed when they had the light shining behind her. She kind of looks like she could be related to Katie Perry.

Oh, God. Russell Brand's going to go nuts, Philip. I know. Hey, I'm going to hop. She, but like to have. Russell Brand was framed. I totally was I think so

I'm gonna go too far into it but yeah I but with actors like that in this movie and I mean John Luguizamo wasn't too bad but even he had

some really shit lines he had to deliver I think a lot of this comes down to writing yeah I think I think Shama Lahn I think he's a fantastic director but I always felt like there's a lot of times

where maybe he should have had someone come on to help him write Yeah Like the dialogue is so stupid He has great ideas But I just always felt like There was there was times When it just needed somebody

Who that's their That's their main job is to write Not to write and direct and produce And juggle all these different things and even he sometimes pops up in his movie, so he's acting too. Yeah. Was he in this one? I don't think so.

I don't remember seeing him. I didn't. I couldn't point him out. He was like, I'm not putting my name on this piece of shit. It's all over it. At the very beginning in big letters, written, produced, and directed by. Well, I know that he had came out and said this was probably the easiest and fastest movie he's ever done. Maybe that's not the way to go.

Not a good sign. well it was like from the very first scene with mark walberg when he's like hey you guys seen these bees they're just that sounds great man disappeared it was in the new york post what do you guys think happened with bees huh i i was like what this is not convincing at all i don't know why he's doing this voice and this goody two shoes kind of happy go lucky positive. Oh yeah.

Like he was trying to be the cool teacher. Yeah, set his character in Boston and have him do his accent he did in, what was that movie with Leonardo DiCaprio? No, Leonardo DiCaprio.

The departed. Ah, yes. Have him do that accent and cuss out the kids. That'll be the old Bostonian. Listen to you fucking kids. Yeah, I think you're I think you're spot on, Brian. I know what, I think I see what he was trying to say with some of this stuff.

Like, he showed like a little clip in Jacksonville, Florida, and then he showed a clip of West Virginia. And it was all these guys, all right, boss, he-ho! And they were all getting their rifles together. Yeah, because I seen a video. It was, it was one of these videos where it kind of takes looks at movies and creates their own kind of fan theories. And it kind of made sense because they,

said a lot of these suicides and stuff that happened in the movies it's all reaction off of somebody experiencing fear or something or some sort of stress or emotion like they see somebody committing suicide then that idea gets into their head and then

the neurotoxin affects them Dr. Evil neurotoxin which this video I think I probably should post it in the group it goes into this deep fan theory that that this is a

part of a trilogy that M. Knight put out. It's the middle movie. And the first movie is Signs. Okay. What's the third? After Earth. Maybe it's got such a bad reputation. I've never even seen it.

The theory is that the aliens, that the aliens we saw in signs were just kind of like scouting aliens. that were sent out. And then he points to the scene where when he knocks out the girl, he uses that gas. Oh, yeah. And then nobody ever really seen the aliens except for that one little clip on the news. Yeah.

So then you go to the happening and the neurotoxin is killing everybody. And then you go to after Earth, which would be set a thousand years after the happening. when I think they talk about plant life or something was killing people. No. Did they say it in? I don't know that I saw it after. I don't know.

But his fan theory, it was crazy, but it made a lot of sense. Makes more sense than M-9 in this movie. I love those. One of my favorites is that, that annoying guy from the first Star Wars prequel. Oh, Jar Jar Jar. Jar Jar Jar Binks was like a Sith Lord and controlling the whole thing

I heard that I heard that was fucking awesome It's fantastic It's really worth listening to That whole He's a Jarjabinks That whole thing was all an act And he was just the most ruthless evil

Sith Lord ever Yeah What would he say like Mesa so horny Was it at his line I think the I think the The theory was he doesn't even

He doesn't even talk like that. Yeah. It was just, it was all the ploy. I can see that. But yeah, the happening, I think it's, I think M. Knight purposely made a B movie. No, you think you knew what he was doing? You really think so? This doesn't seem like a B movie. It's got A actors in it.

Yeah, it's, it's a A list cast, but it's a B-level movie. And I think, I think, I think. The Meg, the Meg, too, was self-aware. This isn't. My opinion. I think M. Knight knew what he was doing, and nobody else thought they, they thought they was in an A-level movie. He was, well, except Mark Wahlberg, because I've seen clips of, like, behind the scenes. He was kind of, would go up to M. Knight and, like, why would I, why would my character say this?

That was, because that's my point. There's a lot of times where I'm like, why would he say that? Like, this writing is just bad. And it's fucking weird. Like the whole scene with the guy talking about hot dogs. Yeah. The one that actually knew what was going on. I know.

That's the twist. His opening line is, hey. But see, that's why it doesn't really, that's where it kind of loses me. Because like you said, Phil, he knew what was going on. Right. He was great to plants. But yet later, him and his wife were affected. by it.

Also true. So the movie, I don't know, it kind of, because I remember when I first seen the trailer before it came out, I was sold because I thought this was going to be a serious movie because the trailer had that scene in the movie with the guys jumping off of the building, the construction guys. Which was a great scene. It is a great scene because that one guy that is almost in tears because of what he's seeing, all the bodies dropping everywhere. that sold the movie to me

and then like you said again Phil you get into this fucking ridiculous dialogue and everybody's Mark Wahlberg and Zoe Dachianel are fucking not real people right they are so fucking happy go lucky and positive

through the whole and the theory in the video was like that's why they were never affected because they're in BCs in the Matrix no because it pointed out the, you know, the scene with the old lady, how she also was, she takes care of plants, but she wasn't infected until she thought they were in her home to do her harm and she started

losing it. Then that's when she was affected. Yeah, okay. I was trying to figure out why they even put her in the movie. What was the point of that? Brian, you got to, I think he figured, I think Brian figured it out. That makes sense. Like, she was fine until they showed up, right? Well, yeah, and I wish it had made more since because like I you know Mark Walberg's it's happening to smaller people now because I mean she was all by itself and yeah

oh and then that amazing scene where everybody in the group is like what do we do he's like shut up let me think oh so if I think about this and then we do that and then I don't know what to do well and then at the end of it and they just they're like I screw it

let's just we're gonna go out and nothing happens. Yeah. Because they were super positive people. It's a good thing it was over. How about Rename this movie the not happening. That was the problem is nothing really ever happened. But with all that being said, the bad dialogue and the situations the characters were in kind of makes this movie entertaining.

in a not in a it's so bad it's good way sure sure man I have a hard time with that because it's I don't know that it's bad enough to be that's so bad it's good that's kind of what I was thinking I feel like there's a good movie in here

and they just fucked it up the first five minutes of the movie was pretty good yeah the opening of the movie until Mark Wahlberg showed up Uh-oh. And I love Mark Walburd. But the first, the opening to the movie with the guys jumping off the thing and the chick killing herself in the park.

And wasn't the girl sitting on the bench? That was somebody, right? Yeah, I've seen her. Yeah, the one sitting with the girl that stabbed herself. I've seen this. But then there goes back to that theory in the video. The lady didn't stab herself in the neck because she was reading a book. she was reading a horror book

I forgot what book it was so she's got the fear in her and then she hears that scream in the background oh then it kind of set off a chain of events sounds like somebody thought this through better than M-night did if I need a conspiracy theory

video to explain why the fucking movie happened that's a problem that's a problem and like I said earlier although I do need to watch that because it sounds amazing There is no special character in there because you think back to all his movies. Yeah. They all had some kind of special, something special about them.

I don't know. Mark Wahlberg is pretty special. He knows, he has an awful lot of knowledge about bees. Yeah. And science. Him and Jesse Peekman should do a movie. This John Leguzaama's a math teacher. Yeah.

So everything, everything had a, there was a reason behind everything because of his mathematical knowledge. And he, I feel like he delivered his lines with a little more like gusto. But even some of his lines, if you take away his acting ability, were really bad. I think he made them look way better than they were. And the lead up to his death scene, that was an awesome shit. Well, it was an awesome, but it was a great shot of all those people hanging in the tree. and stuff. Like, there was good moments in here. There was definitely good moments.

There was a real good movie in here. There was a tonal imbalance to the movie. There was, like, really dark scenes in this movie, and then somebody would say something, and then you would laugh or, like, question what the fuck are they talking about? I thought the only part of this movie

that I enjoyed is when they did kind of poke fun at it, right? They had some kind of humorous lines. I don't know. I feel like the death scene, and the scary moments, like, towards the beginning of the movie. Right. Or when, you know, things were actually happening and people started killing them.

Like, I feel like those were pretty impactful. Like, those were done really well. And it was, but, like, the in-between moment, the character building was not really there for me. Like, I kind of didn't. A lot of not happening. Yeah. I didn't really care about these people. I just couldn't buy how just positive they were throughout all of it.

Like, they showed no. not that they showed no fear or nothing it's like they had no emotion to what was going on yeah they were talking about like stupid random shit when like life and deaths and things are they're all being killed off and they're like hey hey honey did you did you remember to get cheese at the store yeah exactly i think i left the oven on oh the happening What did you guys Real quick, what did you guys think about the death scenes When we got them

I liked them I mean it wasn't graphic The opening part was cool Yeah the guys coming off of the The construction workers Coming off of the tower Is the one that really sticks with me That was a great, great scene

It's not the tiger's tearing out the guy's arms And he's just walking around like I don't know what I'm doing Yeah that was a little good thing horrible. He was just looking there with a blank look. The arm just comes off. It wasn't even attached by any tendon.

Here, here. Grab it. That was horrible. Brian, I'm glad you mentioned that. You just brought up a pretty bad. I thought that was hilarious. And I thought the lawnmower was hilarious too. I love the lawnmower one.

I thought that was great. Stephen King movie that he directed. Law and man. No. No. sink took over uh help me out brian maximum overdrive the steamroller yeah no i thought the lawnmower one was okay

was pretty good um i i like the guys hanging from all the trees with the ladders and shit that were up there i thought that was cool um the teenagers getting killed was kind of dark too yeah it was sort of dark but they were being like dumb asses yeah but i kind of wish they played off of that whole aspect of how would people react, especially you trying to get in their house looking for shelter or something? Oh, those teenagers. It was. Once they got shot, I thought you meant they had a cutaway scene with, like, teenagers making out or something.

No, Lance. No, I, like, that one was one that almost really didn't fit into the movie with me. Like, it didn't. Out of place, huh? Yeah, it felt out of place. It didn't exactly make sense. the reactions didn't make sense. The reactions to most stuff didn't make sense.

No, the one scene was fucking hilarious when he was telling the plant how nice he is and he's positive him and then it was a plastic plant. See, that's where I thought the humor kind of worked. Hey, fuck you, plant. Say a lot of your mother for me. Marky Mark's back, guys. Reunion.

tour, Funky Bunch Reunion Tour. All right. Lance. Score on this movie. It's a three. It's a three. It's okay. No, that's not bad. That's one third good, man. Three is not bad.

It was a little fun to watch it. It's not good. But really rough. Rough stuff, guys. Rough stuff. My least favorite M. Knight movie. Least favorite M. Night movie. But I haven't seen. I haven't seen after Earth because I heard it was that bad.

Really? I guess. Now I got to go see it to complete the trilogy. I forgot it existed. It's been on Netflix for a minute. I'm kind of half tempted sometime this week to kind of watch it as that video said, these movies as a trilogy. I'm going to watch it. I have to now.

I'll send you the video to see, to show you what he was talking about. Brian, what do you think? I was entertained in a bad movie way. I thought the dialogue was weird and funny. I thought their emotionless characters they played were hilarious. So we day Chanel and her fake-ass crying? I was like, she's better than this. I'm surprised she didn't sing in this movie.

I know. I'm like, you know what? I'm going to give it a six and a half. All right. I was, I was entertained. Maybe not the way. they initially wanted me to be entertained. Six and a half? What did I just miss?

I was just adding after Earth to my Netflix Q. What's six and a half? Did I miss hear that? No, six and a half. I was entertained. But it's definitely not a good movie. To me, this falls under the category. It's so bad. It's good. Thanks.

But it is, if I had to rank the Shyamalan movies, this is probably down there. There still is a couple I haven't seen. Well, actually, there's only two I haven't seen it. That's after Earth. And the Lady in the Water, I still haven't seen that one. I love that one. I love it. And most people hate it. Paul Gianmani. Yeah, all right.

I love the ensemble cast in that. Good call, because Lady in the Water is worse than this movie. So, Brian, you have to see it. You have to see it. All right, that'll be my movie homework this week. That's my second favorite after the village. How about that? What? Yes. There's nothing about that. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Yes, this is why you must see it.

The village is your favorite Shamanian movie? Absolutely. Far and away. Nine on ten. Village is nine on ten. Lady in the Water is eight on ten. What? You're going to make me watch these movies because I really, really want to disagree with you on the village.

I hope so. The village is better than Unbreakable? yes what six cents what is happening oh wait a minute i forgot about six cents okay six cents is gotta be his best one uh it's i actually really like signs maybe we signs is good well philip you would yeah that makes mostly because it was an alien thing of course of course uh but this one i'm gonna go with I don't know that I can give it any higher than a five. I think there's a good movie in here. I think it was...

I love Zoe Day Chanel, and I love Mark Wahlberg, and this is the worst performance for both of them I've ever seen. You know what? I feel I agree with you. There is a good movie in here. I think it was just executed wrong. Yeah. Like, he had a great idea.

Which... Yeah. Like you said, Lance, coincidentally, a few years later... was written into Burbox. Yeah, true. There was just so many moments that it took me out of it

because, like, one of the characters would say something, and I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? What? You guys don't like hot dogs? Like, yeah.

That has no place in this conversation. Everybody is evacuating. They're getting their stuff, and this guy wants to tell you how hot dogs, misunderstood. Misunderstood. Yeah.

They have protein and all the good stuff, right? The plant guy wants to tell you about the fucking how awesome hot dogs are. If y'all

damn, give it above a five, really? After your claims of what was the best movie, I might get this one is seven.

I know. If Ness was on he'd probably give a 10. Oh, I saw he gave you the thumbs up. Yes,

he did. I'm telling you, is going to say 10 on 10. It was an entertaining movie. I also didn't like the ending was one of my biggest problems. It just kind of ended. Exactly. Why would it be over?

Because it didn't kill you two and it's just over for everybody. It just stopped. They didn't explain shit. You know? And then they're like, oh, maybe it's coming back. But we're still like. I kind of did like that it happened in another country. that it was a global thing

which kind of makes me go back to the fan theory that maybe it was an alien toxin introduced to the world they're dropping their alien spores and that sounded worse

than it was supposed to be no that's exactly you can make it be a little better you might sell me on it Phil if I'll go up to three and a half oh calm down three and a half All right

Texas chainsaw 3D Oh Oh, look who's back From 2015 Do you think cuz Fucking very, very young Alexander Dodario Who is smoking hot

Oh Like I kept telling AJ watched this with me and I kept saying Hey I know where the 3D comes in. I know what I mean. I know where the 3D comes in. That is really all the

synopsis you need from this movie. But a young woman travels to Texas to collect an inheritance. Little does she know that an encounter with a chainsaw wielding killer is part of the reward.

Along with 3D boobies. Director is John Lucy. Hop. That's probably not how you pronounce that. That's all right.

Sounded good. Also known for Takers and Lockdown. Sure. Never heard of either one of them. I've actually seen both of them. Oh. Okay. They're like,

Takers is like an action heist movie. Okay. Lockdown is like a sci-fi prison break movie. I think maybe I actually have seen that one. Uh, writers are Adam Marcus, Deborah Sullivan, and Kirsten Elms. Oh, so it's their fault. Yeah. This is the direct sequel to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre original, 1974, and ignores the sequels and does not include the remakes produced by New Line Cinema.

Huh. So this is the movie that started at all, the current trend. Uh, is, this was Gunner. Hansen's final film. Sorry, Gunner. Yeah. All right. Liz, start us off.

I'll pass to Brian. Oh, you want me to go? Yeah, I'm passing the baton, man. This is bad. You thought the last movie was bad? The dialogue? Come on. Oh, whoa. Keep jockein. I'm going to get more whiskey.

This is going to be fun. All right. The dialogue in this one is way better. What? The happening. Than the happening for sure. Oh, my God. Okay.

All right. Well, you did have Clint Eastwood's son in it. So, he's got that good. This movie is nothing. What happened to him at the end? I don't remember. Where's the sequel? Well, it's weird because the sequel is that prequel leather face, right?

But is it? Yeah. Is it in your? universe? Yeah, it's the prequel to this because it explains she inherits that home. Okay. And I think

Leatherface explains how she came into that money. So they are kind of bringing it all together then, huh? It's just they're creating their own offshoot universe like the guy that wrote Pineapple Express is doing with Halloween?

Well, it's Texas change. saws got a tricky timeline because they don't even get the name right most of the time because they've been the Sawyers, the Drayton's, the slaughters.

And then they were the Carlton's or what was it also in this one? I don't, yeah. I don't. And also then in the remake they were the Hewitts. Were they the Hewitts? Well, it's Texas, Brian. There's a lot of

inbreeding going on. Yeah, but so. This is supposed to be a direct sequel to the original one, but in the original one... I resemble that comment. In the original one, I believe Leatherface's name was Bubba, but in this one, he's Jedded Eye. That's right. Well, Bubba is an endearing... I did know Bubba when I was growing up, and that was not his real name, for sure.

Bubba and Sissy. They live down the street. They got it in the cast list as Bubba, Bobbo Sawyer. They were trouble. wasn't supposed to hang out with that. And Jabadaya, Jedediah, whatever, sounds like fucking Amish Paradise, the weird Al-song. But see, that name was the little weird-looking kid, and the remake was Jedediah. Oh, now it all makes sense.

Philip, everything comes together, man. But, like I was saying. Brian was telling me how this is in the universe with Leatherface. Yeah, that prequel movie. Oh, okay. We can't talk too bad. We interviewed the writers, so. Yeah, that...

Dude, I didn't hate... Like, there's some... Like, I didn't hate the idea. How about that? Yeah. Leather face or this movie? Leather face. Okay.

I was about to say, I don't know what you're talking about, because everything I hated in this movie, this whole opening, when all of a sudden there's all these extra Sawyers that just come out of nowhere and they're at the house. and this is where we get Hunter Hanson. That was weird. But you got Chop Top in there.

He now he did an excellent job recreating. I forgot the character's name from the original one because he did a spot on impersonation of that guy. I love the opening scenes sequences, by the way. Did they re-chopop? The movie? Yeah, he... I don't know if they recreated the whole scene,

but that scene where they're dragging what's her name to the to that little tub and Bill Mosley's in the back jumping up and down. Salmi. Yeah.

That was recreated. Yeah. Oh, really? I like that. But it was still Bill Mosley, I think. He was, I think he got there. Yeah, it was still Bill Mosley. Yeah.

Okay, this is just like the happening. The first couple of minutes were great, right? What? No, I like that. I like that. That they all easily just die in a shootout. No, no, no, no. Once you get to that, it's... Oh, okay.

Well, and my question from that one is how, how did the townsfolk suddenly realize what was happening and decide to come and fucking pitch for them? Oh, that was so much. They're on the same radio frequency as the sheriff's department. All of them? I don't know. We're Texas, man. We're geniuses. They have a shootout.

Everyone dies and a houseburn. somehow leather face disappears. Yes. And the baby. The baby makes it out a lot. The baby makes it out. The mother of the baby dies from getting kicked in the face. In the face?

That wasn't. He should have like shot her brains out or something. This movie happens in the 70s. Oh, that's a present day, which would make Alexander Dodario in her 40s. But they play her off to be in her 20s. 20s. That is a good point that I did not even think about. I mean, there was good moments. Like, most of the kills were pretty fucking good, except for that horrible one at the end, which it was completely CGI and looked horrible. That was bad. That

looked like a saw. That looked like a saw advertiser. The guy that, the main mayor guy that got grind it up in the machine. Oh, yeah. That's where they got the idea in the new Halloween movie. See, they are watching each other's movies, right? I thought, like, the kill where Leatherface bashes that guy's head in with the mallet

was good. The guy that got that was on a meat hook and got cut in half, that looked good. There was a lot of, because I watched the behind the scenes of it, the guy that did the effects, he's basically one of these guys that says, fuck CGI. It's all about

practicals. So I'm like, skill. I don't think he had anything to do with that kill. Oh, no. I'm sure you're right. Well, and hey, you cannot ignore their taste in ladies. Yeah, gotta at least say that. Because, God damn. That's where the 3D comes in, Phyllis.

I mean, yeah, man. Both of them. I mean, to be fair, like, everybody cast in this movie that was young, young, good-looking people. You have the Super Network a dollar. Yeah, it was. It was a bunch of just young, good-looking people. But I was, Alexandra Dutari was so fucking smoking. So was her friend, though.

And her friend was so smoking eyes. Honestly, I think I'd take her over Alexandria. You're... I don't know. Those fucking eyes. Those eyes are mesmerizing, man. Yeah. Like, the only thing that gets your eyes away from her boobs are her eyes.

Oh, and that magical tape that was holding her shirt together. at the end. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I know. I was like, what the fuck? All he could see was the birth mark, right? Everything. Why?

Is that why we had that scene? Because there was no reason to have her shirt on button. Yeah, for the birth mark. If the shirt's just going to magically stick right here. I can't imagine that's the actual reason for having that scene. But, um, yeah, we'll go with that. Well, I don't get it because she was full topless and true detective. So.

Yeah, but that was lame. that was yeah that was maybe that was earlier no I think it was later I don't get it why why did she have oh maybe it was a money

yeah maybe it was a money yeah maybe it was a money thing definitely a money thing because otherwise she definitely would have been topless in this one because that would have been a huge selling point two of them there are some good moments in there

like I said they they recreated some original moments in there. I thought they did a great job because that's not the original Sawyer house. They rebuilt that. Wow. And I thought they did a good job on that. It's just the fucking story is outlandish. But didn't it burn down?

No, I mean, for the movie, they re- created it. No, no, no, but I mean, like in the beginning of the movie it burned down, right? And then she inherited a different house? Same thing. Yeah. It was... I thought they were all dead. Had they rebuilt it? The grandmother or the whatever she in leather face she marries somebody for money and that's where she that estate came from Phillip we gotta go rewatch leather face

no you don't yeah oh okay okay okay so it comes from the leather face thing though yeah you know what I didn't hate leather face I just he's not the fucking victim he murders people yeah yeah because at the end they really try to make him sympathetic when she's like feeling bad for him and try to try to clean his wounds and yeah right for some reason she attempts to take his mask off

and he grabs her like bitch come on leave my face on well now is it burned because of that whole fire situation like how did he even get it? It depends on what timeline you go through because there's the original mask it's burned because he had the mask on

well yeah because there's the original there's this and then there's leather Then extra crispy leather face. But then they got the new timeline, which is the original and then the one that came out on Netflix, which kind of overlooks these ones. And then if you go with the original timeline with the one, two, three, and four. Right. And we got to do the amazing next generation with Matthew McConaughey. Matthew McConae and René Zell Wigger.

Hilarious. That's a great movie. I don't hate that one. I honestly wanted to watch that. It is hilarious. Matter of fact. It's also got Jessica Beal. Dude, they have gotten some

No, not that. Really talk to your women in these movies. No, I'm talking about... That's yet another one. That's a reason. You're right. You're not sure women, Phil. Oh, my bad.

We're talking about the older one from the 80s. Yeah, the one that... Matthew McConaughey, one of his... It was, like, shelved. That wasn't the one with Matthew McConaughey in it? Yeah, no. Yeah. The one that...

Shelled. Jessica Bill. Well, all right, all right. It was Matthew McConaughey and Rennell Zell Wigger. Oh, you've seen it, Bill. You're thinking of the remake. Yeah, no, I was thinking of the remake with Jessica Peel. I forgot about Matthew McConaughey.

Next generation is Matthew McConaughey, where it did. There's 15 of them. Yeah, that movie didn't come out for a while, but then when he became a star, that's when they were like, we should release this movie. Right. that's hilarious the saw is family right

but yeah I thought this the story was ridiculous there was no I didn't like any of the characters we didn't even we barely even got to know and they're honestly

they're all kind of unlikable even Alexander Didario's character is kind of stupid yeah she just fucking read that letter and she like fell down a lot but her shirt miraculously never came off.

And then I thought... Did you gotta get some different shoes. I thought the 3D shit was stupid. Terrible. The chainsaw going... Like, house of beef. He throws the chainsaw at, I think, Scott Eastwood, and you're supposed to be all like...

Whoa! Wow! So bad. And then you have probably one of my top five worst movie lines of all time in a horror movie. Do your thing, because...

Oh, that's so bad. Just that's so bad. Yeah, murder that motherfucker. But I, to be honest, I kind of wanted to see a sequel because I wanted to see why the sheriff just because he kind of let the mayor get killed and just walked off, like, yeah, do your thing,

does? Yeah, he really did. Not only that, but the mayor told his son, Scott Eastwood, this ain't police stuff, boy, go. and then you'd ever see him, they get into the whole fucking movie. Because if this movie was a hit, he would have been the new mayor. Mayor Eastwood. And then he would have had Fourth of July on the beach,

even though they were warned. Yeah. But, yeah, this is probably my least favorite. People will say the moment Matthew McConaughey is the worst, but I get entertainment out of that one. Yeah, that was fun. This one is just fucking stupid, pointless. Really?

I had a good time with it, man. Phillips says, not pointless if you know what I'm ring. There were some points for sure in there. I had a pretty good time with this movie, man. Nice. Okay, I like to do it. Yeah, like, okay, it definitely is not the best one. And you're right.

His mask even looks stupid. Yeah, especially at the beginning. When they... He sewed it into his own real lips and shit. Yeah. Well, like at the beginning when he had like the... Like, I know the original mask sort of had more of a makeup-y thing going on with it. That guy said, this fruit cake, he had makeup.

But it was like... It was creepy as fucking the first one, right? It was. And in this one, it was like, what the fuck's going on with his mask? Like, it didn't like. look right. No, it didn't look right at all. I mean, say what you want about the new one that came out.

That mask actually looked like somebody's face. And it was badass, for sure. Yeah, that's what they had to remake it yet again, Brian. Yeah, you know what? And I feel like I remember giving a lot of shit to the new one, and I regret that. I think that it was definitely better than this one. Heather loved it from Friday Nightmare. She was like all over that one.

I loved it, too. A lot of annoying people got killed in that movie. And that's a good thing, right? Yeah. I mean, that bus scene was amazing. The massacre on the bus. Yeah, but it was just kind of, I thought it was a dumb storyline, right? These social media guys come to town to make the town famous or whatever.

Like build a video arcade or a VR thing or whatever they were going to do. Yeah, whatever they were. And a Starbucks. They were going to bring in a Starbucks. Well, we can always use more video arcades. I guess we can talk about every chainsaw movie, huh? Well, but this one, I feel like it's fun to watch because you go back and you see people like Alexander Dodario and that other girl. Oh, yeah, she's somebody too.

I've seen her and stuff. Yeah, she's somebody. The boyfriend was Trey Songs. He's an R&B singer. Yeah, okay. like I knew I saw some He didn't last long either Yeah

I knew I knew some of these people He lasted longer than most of them They just they just hired He fucking died stupid He died in that band crash Yeah The band flipped over for not having a wheel Oh that's right

Then he just wasn't there anymore Yeah I was like That accident wasn't that bad for you to die How bad How bad was it that they pick up this Beefcake look at it. Like I said, nothing but good-looking people. I know. He was in the rain. This was for the ladies.

He was in the rain with a shirt or button. Can you guys help me? I know. It's like on his way to Chippendales, right? Yeah. And Alex entered in Arios, oh, here's the key. We'll be in town. We'll be back in two hours and 39 minutes. No, shit. Here you go. Have the keys and fucking take free right of the house, homeless guy that we picked up at the gas station. But we did get that, like I said earlier, that awesome kill scene with the mallet.

Yes, that was pretty cool. Because he pulverized his head. The cutting in half was cool, dude. It was no terrifier, but it was all right, you know? Yeah. Oh, nothing's like terrifier. Yeah, I don't know if the story made a whole lot of sense, but it's cool to see some of these younger people early in their careers.

and mostly Alexander D'Dadario You started doing the Arnold I hate you I Yeah It went to the chop

It was It was great I didn't I didn't hate it I actually did have a lot of fun watching this movie I didn't hate either one of these movies near as bad as I hated

either one of those fucking none movies last week. I got to say that. Fair enough. But none. And there's probably going to be another one because that movie made Bank. Oh, boy. Young, dumb, and full of now.

Vera Formiga's sister had better fucking do something soon because if that's her only character to play, it's not going to work. She can always go back to American War of Story. That's fine, man. Do whatever, but not that. Yeah, instead of Kim Kardashian.

I'm going to call it now. She's not going to be bad on that show. Kim Kardashian. That's strong words, Bill. Unless she's an influencer that gets fucking murdered. She's a manager of an influencer. So, like I said, she's not far too awful what she... Yeah, that's true.

Well, because she deals with that shit every day. Her mom's manager. I think we talked about this last week. I remember people, said McCulley Calkin was going to be bad when he was on a previous season. I thought he was pretty good on it. I don't hate McCulley Cooley Cooleman. Dude, all of the Colkins are kind of awesome.

Yeah, that movie we saw about the metal band, the death band. Oh, with the Rory. Rory is badass. The other one that was in fucking. Cieran. Curing Coulkin. Yeah, he was great. Succession. Yeah.

Like, I think McCulley Culkin can still act. Like he gets a lot of shit because he was the big giant child star But I'm telling you if he made a comeback I think he could make a comeback Yeah I think America this is how interesting Texas change saw 3D is we're talking about other stuff But I think I think I think McCauley being an American horror store I think he was just kind of testing the waters to see if maybe that's something he wants to get back into Yeah I think he just got burned out because he was in charge

proud star. Like a fucking rape, big guy. Didn't he have to, like, didn't he get emancipated and, like, had to raise his brothers and sisters or something? That's a weird story. That's insane,

because they're all in Hollywood. Maybe that's why they're in Hollywood. He raised them right. We'll go with that. Because I don't, I don't ever hear them talk bad about him. Oh, of course not. Is there bread and butter, right?

Yeah. Well, mostly because he was their bread and butter, for sure. I mean, now they're doing the own thing. Also, he took all the rapins. Allegedly. Tell me Charlie should she get hold that kid. Ouch. Ouch.

All right, scores. It's a joke. Lance. That's great. Jokes are great. Jokes are fun. All right. Let's see.

The other one I gave a three. I'm going to give us. Very rightfully, a two. Ooh. For two wonderful sets of breasts. Ouch. Well, all right. And nothing else.

No, I thought some of the kills were pretty good. Well, that deserves a four, at least. I'm telling you. I'm torn. I shit I now I plus the other girl had an ass

that was in the Darrio does not have much of an ass but the other girl I'll kind of give this one a four god damn fucking asshole yeah she was fucking hot as fun man

she was let's move on I think you'll watch the fascinating that's one didario is one hot 40 year old in this movie oh yeah no doubt

no doubt hanging out with all these young kids The abs are fucking fantastic. You guys like to call back to who her family might be when she's making little artwork with animal bones at the butcher shop? Yeah. She's a butcher. That's weird.

It's in the blood. It's in the blood. She grew up to be a butcher. I know. She's born to be a psycho. The scores back down to this, Brian. Scores down to three. That opening sequence was fucking horrible.

worst dialogue ever in this when her friend comes over oh are you done cutting meat for the night can we go hang out and drink and make out oh boy yikes was that Mickey Mouse I guess all right

my score is going to be you know what I'll give it a five because I thought the practicals were decent I thought the kills were pretty good other than that final kill with the mayor was complete bullshit it. Yeah, that's a good point. I forgot about that one. That's bad. The cast wasn't good, but they

looked good. The Dario, fuck, you know, fuck the magical tape. Let them free. Yeah. Say it now. Free the nip, or whatever that was back in the day. Yeah, right. Women's Libb from New NL.A. Leatherface's mask was fucking

horrible. I think it may be one of the worst ones. Yeah, for sure. Fair enough. Especially since he had the same through the whole thing. Like, I feel like they could have changed it up or something. Even when he cut the other guy's face off. He still went back to the... Yeah. The story was just stupid.

Had stupid people. Like I said, everything could have been all taken care of. She would just read the letter that the lawyer, the guy that created the jump to conclusions, Matt gave her. Yeah. Her friends could have survived, possibly.

The only one that really... kind of deserved it was the hitchhiker that was trying to rob them. He was asking for it. But yeah, the storyline was just not good and that's probably what really did it for me was the storyline and the lack of

character development because I did not care about any of them. Five's pretty damn good then. Right in the middle. Not bad. And the 3D was fucking stupid. Yeah. Well, that was in that weird period of time where 3D was like going to be a thing. I'm so glad we're out of it because

it does not hold. I mean, it it's funny in Friday 133 or Jaws 3D. It's funny because at that time, that was like a major thing. But then when they do it in the newer movies, it just looks fucking comical. Like I said, when he throws the chainsaw and the guy ducks and it flies at the camera, you know, am I supposed

to be like, oh, shit. Well, yeah, if you'd have been in the theater with 3D glasses on. It looked cooler in Friday the 13th when arrows and stuff. Yeah, it looked better then. I don't know why it looks so stupid now. Different time, boys and girls, as Ness would say. Yeah, it was, I think they,

because this was one of those based just on the title Texas Chaitesaw 3D I was like oh that was one of those 3D movies that happened yeah one of those 3D movies that happened

right in that like couple of year time span where it was just my bloody Valentine 3D yeah which is just chinty as fuck and yeah, they definitely did that

and they played it up. But, hey, if you're going to get somebody to play 3D, can't go wrong with Alexandra De Nario. She was so amazing in this movie. I got I like, I feel creepy being like, oh yeah,

she's really a good part about this movie, but she's well-a-age. She was kind of amazing and it was worth it to watch that. You're good. You're good. She's, yeah, I'm going to give a movie of four. Damn, I thought you were going to do it a lot higher than that. Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

It definitely was not a good movie. But I didn't hate watching it. I kind of had a fun time with this. I kind of had, like I said, I kind of had a fun time with both of these movies. I haven't seen the happening in forever. And it was, although with the happening, it was more like watching it and seeing these, like, really good actors. deliver these really fucking awful lines and I'm like, how did this even happen?

Like they were scabs during a strike or something, right? And then with this one, it was just, it was just watching it. I think this is the first time I've seen this one. And it was just, yeah, it was just watching a new Texas chainsaw movie. And it's no worse than any of the other goofy remakes. I mean, you've got one and two, which are pretty iconic. Everything after that sort of blends together. Three has, what's his name from Lord of the Rings that becomes the king?

Frodo? Vigo Mortensen. Oh. Does it really? Yes. Yeah, does anybody give a shit, though? I do remember that now. That movie had that awesome trailer where the chainsaw came out of the lake, like the Excalibur.

Excalibur. All right. We'll see when you tell me about scenes like that. I have to go, all right, well, this is... Maybe it doesn't exactly blend in with the rest of them, but that's what happened. If Vigo Mortensen was in it, does that mean David Cronenberg had a hand in it, Brian? There's no body modification in it. That'd be great.

A chainsaw, his hand turns into a chainsaw? A David Cronenberg, Texas chainsaw movie? Can you imagine? Canadian chainsaw massacre. Boy, he would like slice body parts up into everything. I know. It'd be great. All right.

Let's get some special effects out of that one. I like it. Y'all ready to close this one out? Yeah. All right. As always, we want to thank you guys for listening to another episode of The Horror Returns. We would love to hear your feedback and ideas down here in Texas. You can always reach us at the, oh, shit, Adam's going to have a feel.

day, Brian. Thehorror returns.com at gmail.com. You can find us, little cowboy and cowgirl at thehorrorterms.com and follow all our songs. Oh, man. You can hear the latest episode on there, too. So next week, not very Texas.

Brian, what are we doing? We're going elsewhere next week, right? there's another international horror movie we are going to India with the new it lives inside in 2008s oh boy tom tubbed I don't know I'm just a blind spot with horror movies I same here but Philip Philip can go ahead and start the accents now oh no we're for we're gonna for sure have some really terrible impressions so be ready for that one right right get us out out of here, man.

Until the horse turns of him. My head will be shaking all the time. Good night. It would be a great show. Wait, wait, are you? You're using to my pride.