The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #395: Sint (2010) & The Mean One (2022)

Episode Date: December 21, 2023

The holiday spirit continues with Sint and The Mean One this week. Cool of the week includes Halo, Gangs of London, and Tron: Lightcycle Run. Trailer is Destroy All Neighbors. The podcast spotlight shines on Bloody Good Horror. And we get feedback from Ariel Wellman, Reviews That Scare, Jerry Eberts, and Robb Pollock. Thanks for listening! The Horror Returns Website: https://thehorrorreturns.com THR YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/@thehorrorreturnspodcast3277 THR Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thehorrorreturns THR Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thehorrorreturns/ Join THR Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1056143707851246 THR X: https://twitter.com/horror_returns?s=21&t=XKcrrOBZ7mzjwJY0ZJWrGA THR Instagram: https://instagram.com/thehorrorreturns?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= THR TeePublic: https://www.teepublic.com/user/the-horror-returns SK8ER Nez Podcast Network: https://www.podbean.com/pu/pbblog-p3n57-c4166 E Society Spotify For Podcasters: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/esoc E Society YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCliC6x_a7p3kTV_0LC4S10A Music By: Steve Carleton Of The Geekz  

Hi, this is Fiona Duref, and you are listening to The Horror Returns. Greetings, victims. For those of you who delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify gore, welcome. You have found the place where the horror returns. Listeners beware. This podcast contains major plot spoilers and the foulest of language.

Join us in celebrating the old and the new, the best, and the worst in horror. All right, welcome back everybody to the horror returns. This is the three, the three, the three amigos los tres caballeros it's uh philip brian and lance what's up everybody thanks for joining us what's up with you guys

same old same on waiting for the holidays to be done and over with oh do as uh as willie wanka would say do tell Christmas sucks Christmas does fucking suck man Christmas is awesome Yeah. Although it is

It is hectic. It's hectic, man. I went to get like one item at a little shopping center around here to take an hour to half to get in and out of the parking light. Yeah, man, we went shopping a day too, and it was, I get like anxious when there's that many fucking billions of people standing on top of each other. That's terrible. Yeah, and then like somebody will pull out and somebody else will like get the parking spot real quick and then some idiot will start honking and then like you you start backing out and you look over and there's somebody like 50 yards away from you and then all of a sudden you backed out two feet and they're like right behind you hitting their horn yeah like come on we're all in this bullshit together so brian you get it you get it you think santa's gonna bring

everything on your list or what's the coal coal or is scent going to bring you coal or what what to rub all over my face we'll talk about that that aspect of the movie little little problematic if you don't if you don't know the lure but we'll get to that okay philip a different cultures right yeah sure Philip which cowboy's team showed up today The sixth graders masquerading his cowboys showed up today, man. Yeah, that's for sure my not cool of the week. Oh, no. That defense doesn't show up.

The whole rest of them doesn't show up. Yeah, they follow suit, huh? Yeah, we'll see. At least it's focused mostly on one side of the football this year. So we'll see how they do. But that's definitely my not cool of the week. I do have a couple of cools of the week, though. Is that the Shining Christmas movie?

No. Somebody make that. That would be awesome. Yeah, a shining Christmas meme. It was like, he's obsessed with work. She's looking for love. They'll find each other. They're snowed in.

Oh, that sounds great. I watched the Halo series. You liked it? How was it? Because I've heard. I've got mixed feelings. That's exactly what I've heard. Yeah. So, like, as a show, it's not bad.

Like, the first couple of episodes, I sort of wanted to hate it because, like, Master Chief kept taking his helmet off. And I'm like, dude, what are you doing? That's not the whole first game, you didn't even know if he was a fucking robot or a person, you know? He did a Stallone and Judge Dred. Yeah, yeah, there you go. He did a Stallone and Judge Dredd. Or Carl Urban. But the first Never took the helmet off. That's true.

Ah, okay, Stallone did, though. There you go. That's why he pulled the Stallone. I think Stallone had the helmet on for maybe 45 seconds that whole movie. Hey, I can't see you. That was, I believe. I don't even know who I am.

I believe that was his first line. Did he say I can't see? It's instructing my vision, I don't know. But no, it was, by about episode four, I was kind of hooked on it, and sort of finished watching the whole thing, because I think they have a season two coming out pretty soon here. Yeah, they just dropped a teaser for it. Yeah, and, yeah, like, wasn't bad.

You take the Halo name off of it. Uh-huh. I don't know. It's just, it's, it's, it's not really Halo. Ah, okay. There's Halo characters, but it's not really Halo. A real gamer knows, huh, Philip? Yeah.

Well, at least the first few games. I don't know if they got off in the sticks towards the end of them. Um, and then I checked out the, uh, first few episodes of Reacher season two. Mm-hmm. Drop that. Don't spoil. I'm about to start it tonight. Yeah, which is how I ended up on HALO, because that was the suggested afterwards.

I was like, all right. Okay. But, yeah, it's pretty good. My only complaint is that they only drop three episodes. Like, why not just do the whole thing? So, like, it doesn't finish the second season until, like, February. Oh, hold on. Aside from that, it was good.

Sorry, guys. Is that all you got? Yeah, man, that's what I got. What you got, Brian? Not much. I'm catching up on some series, because, you know, I never finish anything in the years coming up to an end.

So, finished the Reacher season one. So, like I said, I'm about to start season two. Really, really enjoyed season one. Yeah, I never... My only, like, issue was like when he was like

oh this thing is on the ground that must mean all of this other shit right where it was like sort of a little stretched to him Sherlock Holmes yeah he seemed to just see see something that means nothing

and just completely broke down the whole crime scene based off of this but it seems less yeah exactly it seems it seems less implausible in season two so far Oh, okay.

So that makes it better for me. All right. Finishing up, I never finished the boys, season three, finishing up that, so I can start Gen V because I heard a lot of good things about Gen V, which based off the... Six foot tall penis. Thanks for spying it, Lance. I would have been so excited to see a six-foot-tall penis. That was literally the first 10 minutes of the first episode, man.

Which I heard Gen V was such a success. They're doing another spinoff. Wow. This one's going to be based in Mexico. Oh, are they going to be like wrestlers? Like Lucille, Lucillebra? That would be great. Awesome.

That would be phenomenal. That has a Lucidor mask. They have to. Oh, yeah. That'd be great, man. Also catching up on, I never finished season two of gangs of London. Catching up on that. That one's still fantastic show.

Gangs of London What is that? I haven't even... It's an AMC, isn't it? Yeah, it's British crime Thriller. Yeah, kind of like that, but like modern day. And the guy that made it

made the raid movie, so there's a lot of that style kind of action fights in there. There you go. Which took me by surprise, because as soon as one of those fight scenes happen, I'm just like, what the fuck is going on? I thought this was a crime thriller show. Yeah.

Right. This guy's like killing people with darts from a dartboard. Which it doesn't ruin the show. I'm all in for it. All right. Well, I will tell you, Reacher Season 2, slightly unimpressed with the fight scenes. Oh, no. I don't mean that they're bad.

They're just not awesome. Because I was all in on that first episode in season one when he, uh, when the guy, tried to intimidate his cellmate. Yeah. And he's just like, I'm going to count the three fat, so. He likes to use the elbow a lot. Yeah. He's still a badass, and he actually looks more fucking action.

He looks like a goddamn GI Joe. It doesn't make any sense. I like how they constantly pointed out. People refer to him as like Sasquatch or... Yeah. Well, because he's supposed to be like 6-5. Tom Cruise the Aine, huh? Yeah.

But there's like, there's a couple, it's not so much the smashing scenes. He's really good at Hulk smash. It's the, it's the like choreographed fight scenes between a bunch of dudes where they're like, oh, yeah. And, you know, he'll stop it. And, you know, and it's very, yeah, it's very like, oh, well, this is how they teach you in this. I wonder if it's him being so big. Maybe he's limited. Because now I'm thinking of his fight scenes he had in Fast X. They were very like Hulk smash. Yeah. Or arm shots and elbows. Nothing, nothing too spectacular.

Yeah, he's ridiculously huge. And he's only gotten bigger. Like, dude, I, like lay off it a little bit unless you're trying to win like Mr. Olympia or something. Yeah, I just I just read the He I guess he wrote like a heartfelt note to Tom Cruise Basically thanking him for like Bringing notice to the character With the movies Basically paving away for him doing the show

And I guess the studio wouldn't give his note to Tom Cruise Really? They're like, we're not giving it this note Oh, they're going to make him more enrage Hokesmash I mean That should be Tom Cruise's decision to get that

well maybe I kind of took it as maybe Tom Cruise don't want your shitty note oh no wow that'd be shitty I kind of felt like Tom Cruise is not going to read your note

so we're not going to get it to I wouldn't be surprised unless you're a member of the cult I mean the oh the Scientology I wouldn't be surprised that Tom Cruise could take him out

as Tom Cruise is a psycho could Tom Cruise take him out couches and shit. Tom Cruise comes up to like his belly button. Quick to punch him in the nuts real quick. Take his knees out. He could just bite them. Or his Scientology crew will take him out.

Get this little fucker over me. What was that scene in, what was it, Talladega Nights? Uh-huh. I'll come at you like a spider monkey. Yeah. That would be Tom Cruise. yeah so i've just been trying to catch up on these shows so uh i guess my cool of the week would be tv shows tv tv okay there's just so many like i think one of my favorite shows yeah one of my

favorite shows that i did of course beef was one of my favorites that was a good one yeah still watch that one uh phil you would probably enjoy um Tulsa king was Stallone, where he's the old mobster. Yes, I keep forgetting about that one. I really want to do that. I like Stallone, man. I know you. He's so believable as just this old school mobster, just, you know, try to adapt to the new age,

but he's still stuck in his old school ways. Yeah. It's a fun show. All right. I'll check that one out for sure. That's on my list. Lance. Man.

Besides having a dog here that we got to get out of barking or he's going to have to leave our new apartment. We've already gotten one complaint. Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah. Unfortunately, this dude needs to, hey, you need to settle. I got a collar weird for him, like a shot collar.

Oh, yeah. Bark ones. Well, it's like bark activated, so we don't have to be here, like, hitting the button. Like, it actually. Okay, give me. All right. All right. Talk about yourself.

Hold on. Lance has an emergency. everybody. Somebody's about to get an ass whooping. Whereas my fucking dog gets scared of everything. She's so awesome. She's so good. Like, I can take her anywhere. She doesn't even

to leash. She stays right beside my side. But, uh, she gets so scared and she pees. Like everywhere. Like, my dog. My dog's problem is we have to make sure the gate to the yard is closed or takes off. Oh, yeah, we had it.

We had a neighbor fish art chocolate lab out of the bay the other day. Oh, no. That's a good neighbor, man. A couple years ago, my bad. That's a good neighbor, though, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, he didn't even know whose it was. It was just some random dog in the bay.

What are he going to do, man, dogs? He may be taking a trip back to spring here in a couple of weeks if he didn't settle down. But hopefully that collar will work. know. But I guess it's, it's bark activated. So I don't think it actually shocks it, but it makes like a high-pitched wine. And like, the more he barks, the worst, the high-pitched sound gets. They're not bad. Yeah. Because I put one, I put one on me one time and tried it. Well, did you use it on the dog? And if so, did it work? It was, it was my mother-in-law's dog. Okay. No, they eventually took it off. And she's still a,

yappy little thing. Oh, we're going to keep this on. We have no choice. Yeah, she's little. Okay. Did it work when it was on? To the best of your knowledge? Yeah.

All right. Well, it's worth a try, man. It's either that or we're going to keep that dog stoned on something, man. Did you, T.HC. Gummies or something? Did you guys see the fight that broke out at the UFC pay-per-view last night? No. What happened?

It's one of the fighters. they're scheduled to fight next month. One of them is Sean Strickland. Go listen to his Joe Rogan interview. The guy is a fucking psycho. Is he? Uh-oh. Yeah. And I guess the guy he was fighting was a couple

rows behind him. And he was talking shit and he turned around. Oh. And Sean Strickland's a psycho, but he's a considerate psycho because another fighter had his kids there and he told the guy to move your kids over just a little bit. And as soon as the kids

moved over. He jumped off, he stood on the chair and then lunged off of it and started just throwing hell of punches on the guy. Got the kids out of the way. Was that the, who was fighting last night?

Leon Edwards and Kobe Covington. Kobe give up the whole Donald Trump stick because he just keeps like Donald Trump's going to be here to put the belt around my waist, which he didn't win the belt. So Donald Trump wasn't even at the arena. In the building?

Yeah. And at the way he had the Donald Trump mug shot on his suit on the back suit. Jesus Christ. Was it orange? Was it an orange jumpsuit? It was like a white suit. It was like a suit.

Bud Light started sponsoring the UFC so he's like, all right, well I'm going to make him sponsor everything. There you go. Yeah. The fights were okay. it was the main event was kind of anti-climactic I guess you could say

because Kobe Covington was talking about the other fighters' dad that was recently murdered or something oh that sucks but the fight ended up going to decision and it was just kind of bad but the exciting part was the fight in the crowd but that's sort of what

Connor McGregor did that time after he like won and then he jumped out in the crowd and was calling some people out. Unless were they like really fighting? Yeah. Or was it just kind of a scuffle? A gentle slap. The interviews I've seen Sean Strickland, like he's not, I don't, he seems like a person

that's not for if you're going to fight, you're going to really fight and it's not going to be for publicity or media. So. It's like if he attacked them and everybody like pulled them back. or whatever, that sounds like a publicity thing to me. Well, the other guys, the other guys hyping the fight up. Yeah. Because he's like, oh, that's as hard as you're going to hit. Then this fight in January is going to be easy.

And I'm like, well, there was a crowd of people pulling you apart. So it's going to be a lot different, but it's just a two of you in there. Wasn't exactly a ring, was it? No. But I did appreciate that he had the kids get out the way first. Yeah. Just his mannerism when he was telling the kids, you know, move over just a little bit. I thought he was going to go talk to the guy.

Yeah. So I can jump over you and punch the student a face. So we can have a conversation. Yeah. So. Man. All right, Lance, what's your cool of the week? Well, I did rewatch because the granddaughter is here in town for the week.

So we did a movie day the other day. We did rewatch a movie that was a lot better, even on the second computer. talking to me. That's a good one, man. It's going to be hard to knock that one out of the top spot this year. It's just, there's so much to it, man. All the characters are just,

it's very, very difficult to find a horror movie with characters at that age that are all that believable. I would say, like, I just really felt like these were like buddies that were making a movie and people wanted to be in it and act themselves, you know, and not like all this

over the top teenage bullshit. Like you get in a lot of the horror movies. So, yeah, talk to me is up there. But Michael of the week's got to be. I took the granddaughter to the Magic Kingdom today. And we did 18 rides, guys. We were going for the marathon. Yeah.

18 more than I would have did. Well, the icing on the cake was our final ride. We got in the virtual for the new truck. front light cycle ride. And you walk up to the virtual queue and I don't know, we might have been in line 10, 15 minutes and they just run you through it and you get like you, it's cool because when you first walk into the building where the, it's an indoor roller coaster. It's kind of like space mountain. But when you, when you walk into the building, you can actually see the first leg of the of the coaster track kind of spins around and sort of twist up. down a little bit and you can see that when it first comes out and I think it shoots you

out of about 60 miles an hour. Give you some anticipation. You see people. Just some anticipation. And then you walk through there and they've got like a bunch of really cool animated sequences like they're training you, right? It's to be the blue team. Yeah, it was just, it was a lot of fun.

It was, it's cool. They're so interactive the way that they put you into the motorcycle and you have to kind of bend over and grab the handlebars and pull them towards you. So it's not, yeah, it's like not like just passively sitting in a, in a chair on a coaster or something. You actually feel like you're on a motorcycle. Oh, that's cool. And it's fucking badass, yeah.

Granddaughter loved it. I loved it. We'll be back for more. So that's my cool of the week, Tron. I think it's called just Tron light cycle race. Sounds like they've about got that line situation figured out. They do, man. Maybe this is a better.

method. Yeah, beats the fuck out. Because we were the snow white, one of the first things we rode, we were in line, I don't know, over an hour waiting for the snow white roller coaster ride. And that's kind of a bummer, dude, because you're in line and, you know, the kids are all looking at their phone, right? And you're like, God damn it, this is an hour we could have been doing something else. So it's, yeah. Especially in the summertime when it's the way to go. It was perfect today, though, dude.

It was beautiful. If we'd gone yesterday, we would have been in a storm, but A.J. had a great idea for us to move it back a day. So we're doing Animal Kingdom tomorrow and Universal Tuesday. So Wednesday, I'll be completely fried at work. I'm sure. Yeah. But that's it, guys. So, Brian, we got to be getting some headlines, right? Yeah, you got a little.

stuff starting to come up a little bit a little bit let's see a third orphan orphan movie is an early development that's funny

the grand daughter and I watched that one too the first skill yep same director coming back same actress I would assume so is this going to be

a Benjamin Button deal where this one takes place even before part two I mean aside from her face obviously looking a little bit older.

I think with the when we talked about when we reviewed it when they did the size ratio of the aspect, you know, with the bigger furniture, bigger stuff. I think they did a good job

of making her look smaller. They can do this for like the baby and Roger Rabbit with like a big oversized bottle. Let's see. Where did they go from? here, you know. She's gonna be like, she's gonna be like

50 years old and they're gonna do orphan part by, or she's a fetus. I don't think this is gonna be a prequel to the prequel. Well, she didn't die in the first one, did she? Yeah, Lance. Oh, okay, well, there you go.

That's why they made a prequel. Ah, but maybe she didn't really die. Ah, they could bring her back. Like in the Marvel universe. Like, she's going to adopt an orphan now. She's been under the ice for years. The ice preserved her. With the thing.

The orphan multiverse. Yes. Let's see. Naomi Scott is going to star in Smile 2. Okay. Naomi Scott, I know for fact, she was in the live action of Latin as Princess Jasmine. Oh, she is a good-looking woman.

I very frankly remember that movie. That was terrible. That bad movie, but a very cute young actress. And I... I think she's overage. Whoops. Why would she be underage? As you were, Brian.

Sorry. What just happened? I like the thing that was at least a pause there. There. And I think there's rumors of, what was her? named Sosie Bacon. I think she may return in some way.

Okay, I can see that. She's going to be the one like the guy that was in prison in the first one, where she's only in it for like five minutes and then commit suicide or something. Oh, she died, Lance. Oh, God. Don't remember anybody that dies in these movies.

I keep thinking we're in the Fast and the Furious universe where it just doesn't matter. They all come up. Oh, you're dead. but you get to come back like three sequels later. Yes. Let's see. There has got to be some kind of news.

Something. No. It does not look like. Does anybody care that Jennifer Love Hewitt says she would definitely 100% return for her. I know what you did last summer sequel? Sure. Yeah. That would be cool, man.

Then passing up the torch, right? She passes it off to her daughter or something. in this one. Does not sound like a movie that I'm stuck about. Because those movies... Those movies... The first one is okay, but the series as a whole

just felt like a lesser screen franchise. If you're going to do something slocky, man, bring back a monster. Let's... scrolling through news. No, looks like that may be...

all the news Brady talked All the news that's fit to print, huh? Let me check. I think there was a Texas Frightmare update because I know we talked

about Eli Roth and how you were going to tell him he's a piece of shit director. Yes. What happened to you? You used to be so good, Elon. Oh, wait, Elon. We'll make a scene about it

and like hold you back and stuff. You're a bitch shit. Fuck you, man. Really get kicked out of that place, huh? No, no Texas Frightmare Update. Okay, well, I've got a, I've got a I've got a, uh, universe,

now that I'm a Floridian, man, I've got to come up with my universal Halloween Horror Nights rumor, you know? So you guys heard the rumor about what the, uh, the haunt is supposed to, because you know, every year they have a, a Bloomhouse haunt?

You guys heard the rumor about what it's supposed to, be this year? No, I didn't know they did that. Give you a clue. Five nights. Oh, that makes sense. Five nights at Freddy's. Okay.

That actually might be kind of a cool, kind of a creepy one to go through. Yeah, it depends on how they do it, I guess. But yeah, that'd be a cool one. It's the rumor. It's universal. They'll do it up big. Yeah.

I was always more impressed with them than Disney. anyway. Are we going to have a Megan 2 by then, Brian, or is that coming out this year? I think it was... I think 2025. Okay. Well, they didn't have a Megan haunt last year, but they had

a Chucky haunt, and they had the dancing Megan show. Or like 12 of them came out and did the Megan dance. So maybe they'll team those two up together. Tiffany could come out and call Megan a whore and get away from my man. Yeah, I'm scrolling here.

There's nothing. It's the end of the year. There's going to be nothing. All right. What's our January horror movie going to be this year, Brian? Any idea yet? Night swim is the only... Oh, God, that looks so bad.

It looks so bad. Oh, my God. Yes, a killer swimming pool. Swim fan? you haven't you got it we're doing it we're doing it

oh there you go but as far as any big releases that's the only well and that that's like the first week of January so

get it get it out of the way get it out of the way who knows Lance it might be your sleeper hit of the year it's possible it's possible

I mean that the second trailer had at least some interesting stuff in it. Oh, have you guys seen that trailer for that one called, I think it's called Imagination or something like that? Oh, the Ryan Reynolds, John Krasinski movie? Is that what it is?

No. I'm thinking, oh, that's something different. You're talking about the one with Chauncey, the Bear? Chauncey the Bear, yeah. We talked about that trailer, last. Did we? What's going on with your memory? It died, remember?

I guess so. All right. So, hey, my memory can recall this much, man. I know it's time to go down to the trailer part. Brian, you're going to bring us the big, the small, and the very, very weird? Yep. Our first and only trailer. Sorry, everybody.

It's, like I said, it's getting to the end of the year, holidays, so not much coming out, but we do have a new horror comedy. I believe it's a Shutter exclusive called Destroy All Neighbors. Okay. Let's go with the synops.

And I'm going to watch it while you guys talk. All right, I'll read the synopsis. My memory went and I forgot to watch it. Let's see. A struggling Prague rock musician, William Brown finds himself in a living nightmare when he

accidentally kills Vlad. the neighbor from hell. Oh, boy. Accidentally. That's your thing, huh, Lance? Prod Rock. Hell yeah, dude. That's my favorite genre of music. This is going to be great, then.

Can't believe I've already watched this trailer. This stars Thomas Lennon, Kumel Nanjani, Alex Winter. Oh, no kidding. Bill, from Bill and Ted. Oh, this is going to be great, man.

I knew I knew the name. John Dave. B'Aley, a bunch of other people. This is directed by Josh Forbes. Let's see what Josh Forbes is done while Lance is finishing the trailer. Josh Forbes is known for nothing I've ever seen. But that's okay. At least it's not some weird, obscure foreign porn movies.

This looks great. This looks great. Does it give you psycho-gorman vibes? A little bit. And then also that looks like the cryptic. deeper. Yeah. Maybe.

It looks just quirky enough to be good. Like, it could be really good, or it could suck a lot. Alex Winter is Vlad. But, I mean, they've got enough of a cast in there where, I'm... Sure. Like, there's a couple people where I'm like, you know, if it was really bad, maybe they wouldn't have signed up to this. No, this looks great, man.

I'm calling it now, Brian. Yeah, that's true. This is going to be the sleep for the year, Brian. I'm calling it now. Well, I'm looking at the release date. Because sometimes stuff that goes to shutter gets theater release, limited theater release.

But if this is coming to shutter on the 12th of January, we might just throw it on the schedule. Cool. Oh, yeah. I'm down. What are we going to pair it with? Rock and roll nightmare. That'd be great.

Philip. You're ready to watch the Starfish again? Oh, is that that one? Yes. The Starfish Battle. Yeah, I'm into it. It looks like there's some great practical effects. Some visuals look cool.

A lot of recognizable faces. Oh, yeah. So I'm definitely in. All right. I can't wait for this one. We reviewed that on somebody else. show I've yes yes yes all right I think we have to review it at some point because I think so and that awesomely bad let me let me double check to see if

this is coming to shutter on the 12 but yeah it looks like if Peter Jackson old school Peter Jackson did like I can see that totally see that yeah but Yeah, I'm in for this one. All right. Let's see. January 12. Destroy our human shutter. Yep.

Thrown it on schedule. Can't wait. Deal. Let's watch it. And rock and roll nightmare. Yeah. I'm stoked about that. All right.

That was the final trailer. Make sure to be feeling really good when you struck that movie. Yes. Nice and green, right? Yeah. All right. Let's roll into some listener feedback. This week we shine the podcast spotlight on Bloody Good Horror.

An eclectic crew of misfits bringing you the best, the worst, and the downright weirdest of the horror genre since 2007. That seems like an obscure place to start, but okay. Bloody Good Horror. Check them out. Oh, and I chose them from the last. list that we made we made a list guys let me it is on the hell did it go it's like a beat spot dot com 100 best horror podcast you must follow in 2023 and we made number six yeah i'm sure they were in no particular order but i'll take number six in my mind it wasn't in order i know that's awesome man even though i did see some podcasts that were lower on the list i was like they're

low it might be better than us right just to be mentioned is an honor right yeah yeah well and bloody good horrors another one to check out go check out that list just listen to everybody on it be awesome uh regarding uh monarch legacy of monsters uh Ariel wellman says I'm in one scene in a subway tunnel as a homeless person hiding under some blankets. He does a lot of, I don't know what you call it, background acting or supporting. Okay. Not just a random homeless person. Yeah.

Okay. He does. I know that he's always posting, like if somebody posts or watching something, I swear he seems to be in like almost every movie. there it is it's a career man regarding Texas chains are two reviews that scare

Dennis Hopper was great but apparently he absolutely hates the fact that he was a part of it that sucks because I love that movie oh yeah that's my favorite of all of them I think Jerry Hebert says well he doesn't care anymore

oh is he dead to? Dead as Hopper? Yeah. Yeah. He died. That makes sense. He was old when he did that movie. Regarding St. Sent, Rob Pollack says every year.

Really? I had never. We'll talk about that one. Maybe I had heard of it. I know it. Well, we'll get to it. We'll get to it. And that's it for listener feedback. Of course, our logos and artwork come from Steve Carlton from the Geeks and Natsulani. Check, if you want to help us out, please consider becoming a Patreon patron. I think I know how to read this shit by now.

We'll let you pick the movies for a future show at any amount. And for $5 or more a month, also pick a commentary for a future bonus show. We appreciate you. Uh, feature attractions. Uh, well, scent is the one we're going to start with. You have to take action as a police force. We're here to protect the people. Prohibition of all St. Nicholas activity. Everyone thinks it's his birthday, but he died on the 5th of December.

He was murdered, horribly murdered, and now he's back for revenge. St. Nicholas Eve is nice, but you always get junk you don't really need. Christmas Forest. stuff. A horror film that depicts St. Nicholas from 2010 as a murderous bishop who kidnaps and murders children when there's a full moon on December 5th, which I'm sure has some more meaning to it that they don't really explain

why December 5th, but it's a Dutch movie, you know? Yeah, I think it's a Dutch thing. And Philip, if there's one, go ahead and get it started, man. If there's two things I can't stand, it's people who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch. I'm from Holland. These in that weird. Oh, there'll be more of that.

Oh, yeah. Director and writer is Dick Mass. Also for Amsterdam and Flodder. Let's talk about this name. Is this real name? That's what I'm wondering, dude. Christmas, dickmas. Or my dick has mass.

Oh, the Dutch. Each a massive dingga donga. On January 4th and 2011, the movie poster was awarded the TV Cramt Film Poster Award 2010. is a pretty good poster. Yeah. The annual Dutch Award for the Best Cinema Poster of the Year as voted for by the Dutch audience. Now, wait a minute.

Best Dutch... We have one of those? I don't think so. Okay, is that Best Dutch Cinema poster of all time? Or Best Dutch Horror Cinema Post? I think it's just Best Cinema poster of the year. That's quite a quite an honor. It's a pretty awesome poster.

I mean, to be fair, like, if I, I see the cover of this movie, I'm like, oh, that looks cool. Watch it. Some scenes with the horse running on the rooftops were shot at a clinic in Utrecht, where the movement of horses is studied. They have a treadmill at the facility for animal health. Oh, a horse treadmill. Interesting.

Why not? At Utrecht. Utrecht. Brian, what do you think about this movie? I have mixed feelings. Mixed feelings. Okay, I'm a bounce back and forth with the positives and the negatives. Positives, I do like this is a different take on Santa Claus and Crampus.

You get like a whole different mythology with St. Nicholas and, what were they called? Black Peter's? Black Peters. Oh, yeah, Black Pete. Or Black Peter. Black Peter, yeah. Sure, sure. But on the negative side, you get no kind of backstory really other than they...

That they were bad, and that was it. Well, that's what they got to do a prequel now. It would have helped with the whole blackface shit that was going on. Okay. All right. Yeah, I was like, wait a minute. What is he doing? If they would have better explained the black peats when they went down the chimney, they got to sit all over their faces and that's why they were called. Was that what it was?

See, they don't, I didn't know that. I had to look it up. I had to look it up because I'm like, this guy. I thought it's because they were from Spain. He's like a chimney suit. Well, if we're going by that standard, then Mary Poppins had some black face going on too. Oh, that's it. So I thought, because nowadays that, you know, we live in an age where people get mad at everything.

They might think this is for other reasons. which the color of their black face they could have went with a different I don't know shade that wasn't yeah like I said problematic but at the same time I think if they would have better

that sounds like you're intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch I think they should have did a better job of explaining the mythology and because this is like a

not based on a real thing, but like a real thing they celebrate in Dutch. Yeah, I know that Black Pete is a real thing because I looked it up too. I didn't like go into detail. But I was like, wait, what is this guy? Honestly, I don't know if it had to do with the soot from the chimney, guys. I think it was like, I think it's making fun of the Spanish. Yeah, I think I read that too. I think it's what they told the children.

I think it's what they told the children. Well, they said they're going to put them in a ship and take them off to Spain. Oh, yeah, that's true. There are some, there are some like inter-country rivalries, I guess, in Europe. And like the Spanish are most hated by somebody. I don't know, but I'm not sure exactly what they are. I just wouldn't like more of an explanation, a little more, backstory because they

pull up in basically a pirate ship Yeah, Luton, Robin, and then they get burned on the ship alive, and I'm just like, okay, we're moving really fucking fast here. Yeah. Let's, let's learn about these. How much do you really need, though? More than what we got

because after they get burned alive, we get we shoot to the present where a girl's opening a package in class and pulls out a dildo, and it's just like a Oh, yeah. Okay, thing. I love sex education class.

Yeah, the teacher's like, well, that's the six one of the year or something. It's six one of the year. It will talk today. I thought some of the- I thought some of the practicals were kind of cool, but then on the negative side, they kind of ruined it because they tried to mix in some interesting visual effects that don't quite hold up to now. I guess.

There was some decent kills. There was one where St. Nick, he hits someone with his little spear, I don't know, baton thing, and spins it around their head and chops their head off. I thought that looked pretty cool. Yeah. Yeah, that was a good scene.

That was definitely one of the more memorable ones. I like what one of the Black Peets get chopped in half with the pole that's sticking out the window. That looked pretty cool. Uh-huh. Not all the visual effects were bad. it just maybe it looks bad now when you see it. A couple sit down.

But yeah, it's also, you know, 2010 era CGI kills. Right. Like, it doesn't look out of the normal for that era of movies that's not, you know, something with a high budget. And I had a problem with some of the characters. They introduce

some of the characters like they're going to have something to do with the story. and then the main female character, she gets introduced in the beginning, disappears for the rest of the movie. Oh, that's true. And then shows up the fuck the guy in the hospital bit at the end. Oh, that one, yeah.

He finally gets unwrap his present. The other one that gets killed, you know, like, I kind of forgot who she was. Yeah, they date. Really, it's the female characters. They introduce them like there are going to be a main plot of the movie, and then one, I know, I remember, one gets killed immediately, and then the other one just kind of, like I said, disappears until she,

like you said, Lance, lets her boyfriend open his present early. Sure. I mean, he had it coming. He was the hero. He got his reward there at the end, finally. And I see this, this always pops up on the- But he can't tell anyone. On, like, top ten horror Christmas movies that you should watch.

I don't necessarily think it's something you need to watch I mean I'm glad I checked the box and it's something off the list but I probably will never watch this movie again so but to the person that gave us listener feedback

that said they watched it every year more power too. Maybe you got something different out of it maybe you knew the lore a little bit better but there was just little parts of the storytelling that was just kind of making it a little boring to me. I'm wondering if that was

like, because Justin Trudeau has some sort of black face where he looks just like that. I'm wondering if he was dressed up as that character. Yeah. Interesting. Okay. But yeah, maybe

if they just wouldn't have went into the movie, just thinking we already know the mythology of the character. Fair. Fair enough. Yeah. A little bit better in the, in the Because, like, I know that sometimes European Santa is a little bit evil. And although it's a Dutch movie, it's not made for American audiences, I guess. You got crampus too, right? Yeah, crampus.

But, like, you kind of have to explain crampus if you're going to put him on the screen, too. Right. Because American audiences are like, wait a minute, Santa's a good guy. What happens? Well, in the crampus movie, you get the whole, you get the whole scene with the grandma tells her story. like the whole animated scene. Yeah. That was fine for me.

You didn't get that here. No, I mean, I think me and Phil had to look stuff up after we watched the movie. Yeah. Yeah, I could understand that. Because I thought the same thing. I was like, is this dude who picks into blackface? And then he does. And then they call him like Black Pete or whatever.

Yeah, I was like, why is this in the movie? Is that a real thing? It is a real thing. I think I'm going to look this up. Yeah. It is a real thing. And then I look it up and then I'm like, okay, that's part of their culture. Yeah. Something that happened a long time ago.

Tell me that way because I'm not a person that's just going to get upset about something. But like I said, living in our time now, there's a lot of people that are not going to get the explanation and just going to immediately just get fucking pissed off at this movie and just turn it off. Right. Although it's also from 2010 before the world explains. Well, I don't know, 2010, there was already a lot of political correctness by then going on. Yeah, but my theory is 2012 and we hit like some kind of different universe or something. That's where I go with that. Because it's gone. But I can see that.

As a Christmas horror movie with all that aside, it's, it's a, it's not a bad watch. It's just something I, now that I watch it, I probably never will watch it again. There's nothing, there's nothing really in the most. movie that's going to make me. Like, I need to see that scene again. Right. I need to see these high school kids get dildos as gifts. I did seem completely out of place.

And now what I'm thinking, were they high school or were they college? I assumed high school. They looked college. It's typical. It's just like American movies. The actors they get are not high school age. Right? I know that professor, he was just like, if he sees another dildo again, he's just going to quit his job.

Every day with you more dildos. There was, and there was just little things. There was just little things in a movie that just, it was just like everyday shit that just happens. Like the one guy that came in firing a gun in the class. Right. Nobody cared. students, everybody just kept walking. Kind of weird, huh?

Like, oh, it's this asshole again, shooting up the classroom. Must be Thursday. Yeah, the movie was what it was. Lance, what should you think about it? I kind of love this movie. Yes? I really did, yeah. So I think they gave us just enough at the beginning, Brian,

so you could you could kind of it made you a little bit hungry for more for sure I would kind of like to see a prequel where it took place back in those olden days that that would have been nice and see what made this bishop Santa yeah evil pirate bishop Santa

right that was going from house to house and raping and pillaging like the Viking and then but you did then you had the 1968 flashback so now you know why that cop and by the way Ryan that that that was my favorite part of the movie was you've got this completely out of his mind cop that comes into the

into the police station and starts, what did he shoot? Was it like a gift rep present? Is that what he shot the police station? Yeah, yeah, at the police station. Why was that okay too? It wasn't. Remember his sergeant?

Hey, man, negligent discharge. The sergeant said, I'm giving you the month off. If you go back and watch the scene, the people walking in the hallway, they stop, they look. Right. After he shoots and then they're just like, oh, go back to the business.

Yeah, back to work again. But no, I like, I like that story because he was the little boy from 1968, right? Yeah. When like, you know, I wanted to keep,

I keep wanting to say crampus, but when, St. Nicholas. Yeah, St. Nicholas showed up back then and did his dirty deeds, which I guess that was a full moon, December 5th.

fifth or whatever, and I kind of like the way they tied that into it all. Man, you had the perfect opportunity to have some great politically incorrect jokes in this, because after all, when they got into the boat, Bill Burr, wasn't Bill Burr? Is it just me or was that the guy that was driving the boat? He looked just like him. I don't remember. Did you notice that? No, I didn't click.

Now that I'm thinking, now that I'm thinking of the same. Now that I'm thinking about it. No, but man, I thought I thought this movie was fun. I fucking go ship. Come on. I love the, I love the fucking scene where the horse was galloping along the roof there. And then they shot the horse down. That was good.

And he fell onto the ground and got up and moved on later. And yeah, you guys talked about a couple of decent kills and stuff like that. But I thought this was kind of a fun little. action movie. There was a lot going on. I love the cop that was completely off his rocker. And then, you know, you've got the young man that kind of helps him save the day. But then, of course, at the end there, they do the clockwork orange treatment on him where they, you know, he's in a hospital bed and they said, uh, you, you know nothing. You saw nothing. You say nothing. Um, because, you know, then all the people in the town are like in on it and stuff like that because it's kind of like

the Jaws thing with the mayor and we may get into the next movie a little bit too but you know we can't we can't you know spoil Christmas you know you know don't don't let it out that every full moon on December 5th cent comes and kills everybody

you know kind of keep it quiet you know why December 5th that's I that's I heard about that when I heard about Black Peter on a travel podcast there December 5th isn't that when like Christmas season starts

in Holland or Europe or something like that? Is that what it is? Yeah, I'm going to look it up. I don't know if I'm... There's something to it. You're kind of bringing my score down. I don't know if I wanted to do that much

homework when it came to this movie. Yeah, everything I'm looking up is talking about Russia oil being for sale in December 5th. Oh, well, there's that. J-12 for Christmas. I don't know. I guess that was just the date in this show then or something. and maybe somebody can write in.

Lars from Denmark, you're close enough to Holland. You can sneak over there and tell us what's going on, you know. But I enjoyed it. I thought it was a fun romp, you know. It's a nice little action movie at Christmas Horror Action. Yeah, I mean, I think as far as Christmas horror movies go, this, it's, I think it's as good as Crampus. The biggest problem is that it's in Dutch,

and it's hard for me to follow the subtitles. There is that, yeah. You didn't watch the dub version? No, I didn't know. Was there a double version? Oh, dude. It's hilarious. Is it poorly dubbed?

Kind of like Rikio? It's not that. No, it's not that bad. Okay. Do they have an accent? They should have an accent. I think they do. Yes.

Smoke and a pancake. we watch it right now. There was one scene in this movie that was in English, where they were taking the tourist around the Red Light District, and they said, Ah, you must go into the greatest bar in Olive Holland with us. Yeah. You had the ugly American scene there.

I paint it is you who gold. All right. Enough of that. No, but had I not had, had to deal with the subtitles. I think it probably would have been up there with Crampus because I feel like that's sort of the

style of movie that it was. Okay. And I liked the look of the evil St. Nicholas with his upside down cross, the bishop. I wanted a little bit of backstory with that more than just

he's an evil bishop. But like, why? But other than that, there were some pretty good kills. It was pretty straightforward. I mean, it wasn't anything, like, super extraordinary. I didn't love it. But I didn't hate it.

I mean, it was definitely worth watching. It's, like, as far as Christmas horror movies go, it's not bad. That should be the tagline. Put it on the blue, right? That's a good one. So, that's what I thought about it. Brian, what do you think? Scores.

It's a five. It's just right there. Okay. Yeah. Not bad. Not bad. Not great. The negatives and the positives kind of weigh out evenly for the movie. Yeah. I thought the idea was cool, but I just wanted a little bit more explanation.

I thought there were good practical effects in there, but some of the visual stuff kind of heard it for me that was mixed in. Yeah, a little bad CGI. A little bit, maybe. And part of it I was watching on my phone, so the bad CGI didn't faze me a whole lot. bother you as much. Yeah. Okay. Some of the camera angles were pretty cool, so it was shot pretty decently, so I'll give it that.

But I just, I didn't want to, for this type of movie, I didn't want to have, take a test after, do research. Right. Like, had they explained the whole story a little bit better, it would have been more engaging. Yeah. Now, something

like, something that pops to my head, like, when we reviewed Hereditary with all the little stuff that was popping up in the background, the little Easter eggs, that made me want to go and research what was going on to

better understand the movie. This movie just seemed like something... That was part of the point of that, I think. Yeah, this movie I felt like they should have just told me. Yeah. Okay, fair enough. So, but it's not a bad movie. I'm glad I check it off the box.

So, five. Five. Lance. I'm going seven and a half, man. Whoa. I really enjoyed it, man. Christmas classic. Well, think of it this way, dude.

When you've got a scene where the... The police aren't believing. The cop that they put on involuntary leave and the young kid. They're not believing them. And you've got all this shit going on. And then all of a sudden they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they've got all these fucking zombies shambling. And, and, and, and, and, and, by the way, all these zombies, weren't they, like, bleeding?

And, like, there, there was, like, breath coming out, like, they had heat inside of them. And it weren't they using those cameras, those heat-seeking cameras? Yeah, they saw, like, the heat. And they saw, like, yeah, I thought that was weird, too. I was like, aren't they dead? Why would they see the heat? It's not the predator. But it was fun.

It was fun. It was fun. I have to admit, this was, this was not what I was expecting. Seven and a half might be a little, a little too high for it in all, in all truthfulness,

but I don't know, this was just kind of, you know what it is, Brian? It's the Hallmark factor. I've been forced to watch a bunch of shitty Hallmark movies over the last three weeks. Can I understand that.

Yes. I see why your score so high. I'm going to give it a, six, I think. A six. A ghost ship, mate. Yeah. Evil, evil pirate St. Nicholas. It sort of looks like the lead singer from Ghost. Yes. Maybe by design. Ghosts

Yeah. Which came first. I don't know. More we're talking about it, I want more of that. Because he was on a pirate ship. And he was a bishop. Bishop Nicholas. Maybe we have Zim Vader make the sequel. There you go. That's some death punk. But, yeah, I thought it was okay.

I thought the effects were pretty on point with something like Crampus. Not horrible for 2010. Yeah, it wasn't horrible. Yeah. I sort of expected the dude to die. I, so the rules were not explicitly clear to me, because I figured as the St. Nicholas story goes, I mean, maybe I'm unfamiliar with it, but doesn't he, like, reward the good kids and, like, kill the bad kids? Yeah.

Or take them to Spain or whatever. Black Peter puts him in the bag and takes him to Spain, right? Yeah. Yeah. So, but like. Get some over the head with. But did he not just like murder every kid in the orphanage? Yeah. What kid did he?

I think they said he did murder all the kids in the orphanage. Like everyone who I was like, oh, they ought to be okay. They seem like good people. Oh, no, no, now they're dead. Except the one kid who cheated on his girlfriend, whatever. Right. Percentage wise, one of those kids in that are orphanage should have been good. Which I got to say.

the other one was hotter than I expected her to be once she came in with the sweater. But aside from that. Gotcha. All right. We'll move on to our next

one. We've got the mean one. Remember that story about Cindy, you know who. When her Christmas was stolen, she knew what to do. Why, Santa Claus? Why? But what if I said? That's not how it went down.

Watchdown! You're going to be okay? Because we can turn around right now. No. Poor girl. Her mother was killed in my mind snob. Did you ever find the Christmas killer? Never got a reliable description of the man.

Not the Grinch. They didn't say it. Not once. No. They made sure. From 2020. Somebody named Mr. Finch. Yeah.

One scene. Shots for Mr. Fanch! So, for legal reasons, the mean one. In a sleepy mountain town, Cindy's parents, she doesn't have a last name, are murdered, and her Christmas is stolen by a bloodthirsty green figure and a red Santa suit. Green figure.

Director is Stephen Lamort, also known for Burt Me Twice. I don't know what that means. means. Riders are also Stephen Riders Why is that like a Burt Kreis or comedy special?

I know. Burt me twice? That sounds naughty. Writers are Stephen Lamort with Flip Cobler and Finn Cobler. What are these movies? Those are not real names.

None of those. Those are names? Yeah. Flip cobbler and Finn cobbler, or cobbler, maybe. There are multiple references to Dr. Zeus. Oh, Seuss. Sorry, in the movie, it's Zeus. The old guy was named Zeus, but they called him Doc. No, no way.

Zeus. You guys didn't catch that? Yeah. I wish I hadn't. He had to explain it before I went. Oh, no. And Cindy's listed in the credits is Cindy, you know who. You know who.

Yeah. Oh, there you go. In Newville. Yeah. There are multiple references to Dr. Seuss and some of his works. A restaurant is named Hortons, like Horton here's. Oh, I didn't even catch that one. Okay.

Oh, here it goes. A character being called Dr. Zeus. rhymes with Dr. Seuss. Actually, it's pretty much the same name, but with a Z. Yes. Yes. And a character, they even point that out when they name him. Right.

They're like, Zeus, like the God of Thunder? And he's like, yeah, call me duck. And a character drinks from a bottle named Gisels. Dr. Zeus's real name is Theodore Seuss. Oh, somebody really thought they were being clever. Guy Searle, Jazeel, I don't know if I'm pronouncing that right, but you get the idea. All right. The mean one, Brian, what do you think?

I thought this movie was so fucking stupid. That I actually had a good talk. Oh, yeah? Yeah, it was just so... You weren't a mean one about it, huh? No, I knew what they were doing. Yeah. I know this movie got...

gets a lot of flak, but I just, I knew what they were going for the whole time. So I was just going along for the ride. I caught all those little references. The biggest drawback to the movie is a friend of the show, David Howard Thornton, is the mean one.

Don't get a lot of him in the movie. And you can't tell that's him. It's just like the man. Then when you fully get to see him, I felt like he had the mannerisms down of the Grinch. Oh, yeah.

Sure. But. It looked like Jim Carrey in there. Yeah. But you don't get him at all really in the movie. Even in the kill scenes, which are really badly done because really a lot of stuff. Very badly done. When he's killing people, it's just like quick flashes across the screen.

Like he's moving like the flash. He's so fast. And I'm just like, no, I want to see David Howard Thornton murder people. We love him as art to play. clown killing people. Yeah. You got him in this pretty decent looking Grinch

costume. Yeah. Let's see him murder people up front and personal, but it's all just quick camera movements and stuff like that. I didn't like that. But like I said, I had fun with the references. It made me chuckled just because it was so

fucking stupid. And I just like, I don't know. I just, maybe I was just in a better mood watching this one, and I did scent. Or maybe it's the fact that I didn't have to pull out my phone and do research on this movie. But I had

fun with it. I thought some of the characters were fun. They were stupid. Their characters. Cindy, you know who. I love that she got a whole kind of 80s, 90s action. Oh, yes. The montage.

Where she goes from not knowing anything. to being a Grinch killer. To be like some fucking UFC fighter. Yeah. And there was no dog. Doesn't the Grinch have a dog? I know.

Max. Yeah, Max. Yeah, Max. You should have had, like, you should have had like some kind of vicious dog. I don't know. At least they worked in the mayor of Newville. And they gave it the Jaws storyline there. Yes, they were kind of like working together to cover it up.

Christmas can't be canceled. Oh, but the whole town had canceled Christmas. It's so ridiculous that they create a web page for hikers to come visit so they could basically sacrifice them to the meanwhile. Right. But that's what I'm saying. I'm kind of into these so bad it's good movies. And I just, I knew what it was from the trailer.

And I just, like I said, went with it. I got to say, I appreciate it. the final kill. Oh, his heart grew three times. Yeah. Yeah. His heart grew three sizes and it exploded and he died. That's what would really happen.

And I love the narration too. The not... I'm glad you did. Not Malcolm McDowell? Because that guy kind of sounded like Malcolm McDowell. Yeah, on purpose, I'm sure. Yeah. They should have gotten Keith David in there to do it.

That would have been better. Oh, no. then I would have been mad because I wouldn't need to see Keith, not David Keith on screen. Should have been Morgan Freeman doing this. A little bit of a Morgan Freeman-ass voice to him. He was channeling something. Yeah. All right.

Lance, what do you think? Man, I didn't like this one as much, right? This is pretty rough, man. David Howard Thornton You can do a lot better than this That's what I kept thinking is like They totally Misuse his character

Like you said he's not on screen Much at all and you know Costume was okay But I didn't think it allowed enough Facial movements for him And he didn't talk either The facial movements didn't really talk You know

Maybe it was a Not I'm thinking about it maybe it was a scheduling thing Maybe they only had him a certain amount of time to shoot the movie. And they might have even had like backshots of him. Might have been other people in the costume, right? It's certainly possible. But it would have been cool to have him more, like, with a little bit more screen time.

Because the character design on it, I really didn't hate, man. Like, he was kind of killing it. Yeah, he was, the way he was moving around. Not just because he's been on the show, like, because it was legitimately good. Yeah, the way he was moving around, the little hand motions he was doing with his fingers and stuff. I just kind of felt like he was kind of killing it as the mean one, the Grinch. But he was probably in the movie, maybe what, 20 minutes? And that was definitely the best part.

And I kind of enjoyed the bar scene where you had all the Santas in there, like in their Santa costumes. And then they methodically get killed off one by one kind of serial killer style. But I don't know, man. It's a pretty rough movie. There just wasn't a whole lot in this for me. The montage was kind of fun just because it was so out of place. And so ridiculous. So ridiculous.

She was one type of character. And then a little of a sudden she was a totally different type of character. And yeah, I mean, yeah, the storyline about luring the hikers out there was just kind of over the top. But I don't know, man. She like sets up the punching bag and she's slapping? Yes. slap it. And then like 30 seconds later she's like

doop do do do do don't totally dressed like Linda Hamilton and Terminator 2 with the time of everything. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I'm like damn, dude, she went through some hardcore training in that montage. Like in early scenes like when you see her

driving with her dad and you know, they're like hanging out and stuff like that, I definitely didn't think she had that kind of body. So it's kind of nice sceneer in the outfit. dressed her down. They definitely dressed her down in the beginning, the first half of them. And let me say her dad completely got over his wife's death. Yeah, pretty quickly.

It didn't click that that was her dad at first, like, when they got pulled over and the cop was like getting on her. Oh, I thought that was her husband. I thought that was her boyfriend. Yeah. I was like, dude what the fuck is this cop doing you don't know who that is right all right what did you think about it philip um yeah no it was definitely pretty bad but uh uh but it was it it bordered on this so bad it's good i think um they had a lot of really schlocky jokes like the where they wouldn't call him the grinch and then the doctor right zeus thing. Like, I totally rolled my eyes, but I laughed.

Like, we're there in the bar and he said, you're a mean one, Mr. and then the lady comes out, bitch! Yeah. Two shots for Finch! So every time they tried to make a reference that was, you know, lawfully protected, they covered that up pretty quick. Yeah, they knew what they were doing. The movie does know what it is, I have to say that.

Yeah. Um, and I, like I said, I enjoyed, uh, I enjoyed that final kill where his heart grew three sizes and it exploded and that's how she killed him. Uh, and, and, and, and the montage was so ridiculous that it was funny. Um, the, the montage was so bad that it was good. How about that? Okay. Uh, but it, it's, it's definitely not a movie that I'm probably going to watch again. It's, it's, it's sort of like what that Winnie the Pooh, who. horror movie should have been. A little better than that. Yeah. Yeah. Like that, that one was pretty bad. But had they gone to this route with that, I think it would have been great. Well, I hope they go that route with, what's it, Lance?

Bambi, the Reckoning. This is the next one they're doing. Oh, yeah. Coming out. Next year. Yeah. And I'll watch it. I think the old school Mickey Mouse is entering.

into public domain pretty soon. Oh, no, that's going to be rough. That guy is definitely, because he's also doing the guy that did Winnie the Pooh. He's doing the Bamby one, and he's doing... Peter Pan. Yeah, Peter Pan. Which is already horrifying by itself.

It kind of is, if you think about it. I think it's called Peter Pan, Nightmare Neverland or something. Sure, why not? I think it's already been done. It's already been done. It was called Peter Pan. we're going to never land kids

oh no not that never land no my name is p. Oh my gosh what if that's the movie

that would be great I think that I think I was just figured that calling it Peter can monkey you can play with

and everything the most controversial movie of 2004 for. Bubbles? Was that the monkey's name?

Yes. My monkey's name is bubbles. What's your monkey's name? You can pet my monkey? Can I catch your monkey? All right. Scores on the mean one. Brian, what do you think?

I'm going to give it the same score as scent, which is five. Five. I will say That is rough, dude. Based off an entertainment value, I'd rather watch, rewatch this.

Uh-oh. It was at least funny bad. Shots fired, man. I feel like if you're a fan of David Howard Thorntons, which you should be, he's an amazing actor, super nice guy. And I'm not, like Phillips said,

I'm not just saying it because he was on our show. Well, he's by far the best part of this movie. Yeah, you should. You should see it for, you should see the movie just for his, it's, it's not a long performance, but you should see the movie just for his performance in it. Yep. We can confirm he was in it, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Although Terrifier Santa's coming out pretty soon, right? Oh, that's right. Yeah, that would be great. Lance, what do you think? Maybe the main will, we'll show up in that one. Yeah.

I'll get this four on ten. I mean, it's. How bad. It's horrible, but it's not horrible, horrible, because that montage was hilarious. That montage was hilarious. Yeah, the, you know, plays on names are okay and stuff like that. But at the end of the day, it's not a very good movie. It's really not.

Yeah, but I think it does at least sort of know what it is. It does know what it is. And it plays to that, and I respect that a little bit. I'm going to give it a five also. which is probably more than it deserves. It's not a very good movie. But it's at least kind of fun. If you've never seen it, I put it on the list.

It's one to watch. All right. Well, there you go. None of us really recommends it, but we kind of say see it. So, Sant and the mean one. Where can we go from here, guys? Let me just put it this way. obviously thank you guys for listening

to another episode of the horror returns. I think we're due for a Christmas commentary. I think Sint might have been kind of a fun. Brian, I think if we had done commentary for Sint, you would have maybe had a little bit more fun. Because you did have these... Fused on what the fuck was going on.

Well, we probably could have talked to each other through it a little bit. Wait, hang on a second. Who the fuck is Black Peter? Why is their black face of dildos in this movie? me. What has

Christmas come to? I think it's time for a commentary, guys. So, in great horror return style, maybe we should reach up to Sean, see if he wants to do this with us,

or Tavares, or shit, let's all get together. Let's get Lars on here. We're going to do 1988 Scrooge, which,

how did that end up on a horror podcast? Brian. Classic. Because it's ghosts and Christmas Christmas present in future. Indeed. Okay. Makes perfect sense.

So Brian, until the horror returns again, good night.