The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #398: Swimfan (2002) & Night Swim (2024)

Episode Date: January 11, 2024

This week Pedro joins us to break down his best and worst of 2023 and talk some haunted swimming pool. Cool of the week includes MCU: The Reign of Marvel Studios, The Killer, When Evil Lurks, and The Brothers Sun. Trailer is The First Omen. The podcast spotlight shines on Kate Anjou's Book Reviews. Thanks for listening! The Horror Returns Website: https://thehorrorreturns.com THR YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/@thehorrorreturnspodcast3277 THR Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thehorrorreturns THR Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thehorrorreturns/ Join THR Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1056143707851246 THR X: https://twitter.com/horror_returns?s=21&t=XKcrrOBZ7mzjwJY0ZJWrGA THR Instagram: https://instagram.com/thehorrorreturns?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= THR TeePublic: https://www.teepublic.com/user/the-horror-returns SK8ER Nez Podcast Network: https://www.podbean.com/pu/pbblog-p3n57-c4166 E Society Spotify For Podcasters: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/esoc E Society YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCliC6x_a7p3kTV_0LC4S10A Music By: Steve Carleton Of The Geekz

Greetings, victims, for those of you who delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify gore, welcome. You have found the place where the horror returns. Listeners beware, this podcast contains major plot spoilers, and the foulest. of language. Join us in celebrating the old and the new, the best, and the worst in horror. Back everyone to the horror returns. I'm Lance. With me as always, we have Sir Brian.

What's up, Sir Brian? What's up? We have Councillor Philip. How's it going? What motif are we going with here? I'll tell you the motif we're going with the most important man in the room and that's our good friend Pedro is back with us man Pedrio title. Annual tradition.

Nope. Just Pedro. That's all you need. I'm not even having the Google world or anything like that. Dude, that ultimate alpha male only needs his first name. Okay. Yes, I'm happy to be here. My yearly visit to drop my bottom 10 and top 10.

All right. So we'll keep the light on for you, man. and plus the toilet behind you. So thanks for joining us, dude. What have you been up to, man? Oh, just hanging out here. I've been sick lately, so just kind of resting a little bit, catching up on some reading, you know.

I kind of put some of the movie watching away for a little bit. Sometimes we need a break from that, you know? We do that shit year-round, so sometimes, like, I don't want to watch movies right now. So, yeah, just kind of hanging out and trying to get better. Yeah, all right. Glad we got the COVID back here in LA. I don't know how it is over there.

Oh, it's everywhere. Yeah, it's everywhere. Dude, I'm in Florida. Our governor says it doesn't exist. So I can say that now, right? I'm here. But I think your previous governor also said the same thing. So I think so.

You're eventually going to find one where, yes, and they do believe in it. Yeah. Well, you know, but you're here to talk about movies tonight. I'm not. Everybody's really worried about it. I'm not. I'm definitely not worried about it this go around, but I am going to probably get my flu shot Friday

since I'm one of the doctor anyway. What part of Florida are you at, Lance? Melbourne? It's, all right, so look, you can sit on our, the wife and I are here for a while, and you can sit on our back porch and see the rockets launch from Cape Canaveral. Oh, okay.

So we're, yeah, we're one hour from Disney, man. That's cool. so you're in southern southern florida uh kind of south central yeah yeah not the pan-s central we had to yeah we had to get centralized so the wife can visit all her different stores but i've lost her this week dude she's in tampa all fucking week she's gotten three people to quit already wow she remember what the joker said of the batman movie

i'll tell you a lot of her stores she's going to run here need an enema doing the she's doing God's work out here man but yeah dude it's a it's a nice spot I've been to Disney twice with AJ and twice with the granddaughter okay it visited so I'm just waiting for you guys to all get out here for Universal Halloween well I'm in I'm in Los Angeles so I got it down the street yeah that's true that's true we were gonna do it try to do an LA meet up but I guess that's our Vegas meet up I guess that's out now wait a minute we still could we still could That's the one you promised me, Lance.

All right, Brian. What are your thoughts on it, dude? I think you can fly to Vegas from Alaska for $100. Round trip. I don't know. Where are you getting those prices from? Alaska Airlines. We're not in the 50s anymore.

Alaska Airlines with a Van Nu I've never purchased a round trip ticket for that price in my life. I can't fucking drive to Dallas for that. I don't even think I can get one way to Vegas for that price. It's Alaska Airlines, Brian. So door plug optional, right? Yeah, there you go. Well, maybe Texas Primateur will work out this year.

How about that? Yeah. We can hope. We can dream. I can't wait to tell Eli Roth what I think about. Yeah, I was going to say Lance has to be there to tell Eli Roth what a shitty director he is. Oh, shit. I did hear last.

week's show because I wanted to see if I was coming here pissed off or not. And it wasn't too bad. It was, I agree with this list. I think, what was it? I think, um, Pet Cemetery bloodlines, I think were a little hard on it, but I was just my taste. I understand the hate that it got. Yeah, it was okay. It wasn't as good as the Pet Cemetery remake by any. Well, come on. Jesus. When you compare to that, it was a masterpiece. All right. On that, on that, note what's your what's your masterpiece of the week pedro cool of the week man the cool of the week well like i said i've been six i've been doing a lot of reading and i've been catching up on this book called the mc u the reign of marble studios which is an amazing book it really kind of i don't know have you

have any of you read it no no i'm gonna it's on the list i've heard about it yeah it's very detailed and it really gives you that behind the scenes kind of look at how they got to where they got and how they kind of imploded along the way. And it's also, it doesn't, even though you do get some gossip here and there, it kind of avoids going that route, which is good. But it does tackle a lot of the drama, like with like the Edward Norden drama and a lot of the casting choices that they've made. One of the things that really becomes obvious is that we have this perception that,

you know, Kevin Faggy has got it, has had his shit together the entire time. and the guy just really throwing darts against the wall at this point because he's really, he's had a lot of luck along the way. Like, I just, one of the things that was a lot. Yeah. Like, one of the things that was very fascinating to me, and I'll just drop this one because I want people to read it. Like, Iron Man One was just a bunch of like fortunate circumstances coming together. They didn't even have that script ready when they started production.

They were working on it throughout the way. and, you know, now in hindsight, you know, you think about what happened. It's like, okay, so they had this plan on along, and it really wasn't that at all. So, yeah, so it's interesting. I finished it. It's a very, very thick book, and it'll take people at least a month to just finish it if you're reading a couple pages a day. But it was fun, because I'm all about that.

So actually, I have a couple of the bottom tense for me this year are superhero movies. So, um, yes. So, so I'm, I'm very much into, especially MCU. Um, so yeah. So, so that's what I, that's been my cool of the week, just kind of catching up on that reading. And then there was another book that I just started called, um, Taking Shape 2, which chronicles the history of the Halloween sequels, um, you know, going from part three all the way up until the latest one. Actually, not the latest ones. Um, not the, the David Gordon green, green atrocities. God. Because they published a little before those were into production.

So that's also a very good book. It's very detailed in all the scripts that they didn't get approved for Halloween sequels. There's actually one where Michael Myers actually goes into a like a drive-through cinema or like what they call? Yeah. Anyways. And he kills a bunch of people. And the more he kills. The more they try to kill him.

him, the bigger he gets. So he ends up being like 14 feet tall at one. It's sound, you had me at first. Sounded great at first. It's Godzilla, Michael Myers. So that one got rejected, of course, right? So yeah, it's another interesting book, and it's like a behind the scenes book. So yeah, so that's what I've been doing. That's been my cool of the week. Two very, very good books so far. So there's a taking shape, like, which is the first two movies. And then this is like,

the second one? No, taking shape one chronicles the production of Halloween one and that's it. That's it. Taking Shape 2 chronicles all the failed sequels and the rejected sequels for the Halloween franchise. Man, a lot of interesting, interesting reading, dude. I've got to add some of that to my... Yeah, and they interview a lot of the writers and, you know, a lot of the people that developed these scripts that weren't picked up, you know, and you see how every, every write and rewrite left the little breadcrumbs for what it eventually would become whatever we saw, you know? So, yeah, it's good reads. Cool.

Yeah. So that's what I've been doing. Yeah, I always find a fascinating when you hear about all these, like, sequel pitches that never happened and how, like, crazy they, the synopsises turned out to be. Yeah, yeah. But in, but when you, when you hear the description, it sounds absurd, right? like Michael Myers being 14 feet tall at the end of the movie. Sounds awesome. But actually,

actually when you have context, what the writer was trying to do was make more of like a symbolic Michael Myers. So it was pure evil. And the more you fed into that evil, the bigger he got. So the record. I guess the concept, but the representation was, you know,

a 14 foot Michael Myers running around, you know, killing people. So yeah, so that's one of the, that's why we can't watch it because they didn't put into production crushing houses and shit

the movie that never was I crush your head Brian what you got man I got four movies are seen this week Oh back to Brian for him again folks Let's see

Back to the Avenueville Not yet Haven't of your Karen yet Not Not yet. I've heard of that one. Let's see. The first one is, I believe, a screen box exclusive called Onyx, the Fortuitous, and the Talismet and Souls.

That looks pretty cool, man. It's not for me. It's a horror comedy. The comedy just was not work for me. The character, the main guy, Onyx, the Fortuitous. I guess it's, I didn't really know much about the movie. I guess it's based on the character is based off something he played in like a YouTube video. Oh boy.

Here we go. Here we go, Pedro. Everybody gets their 15 minutes, man. The YouTubers. But I respect him. I respect him turning this into a movie and raising the money to make a movie, you know, to get picked up by screenbox and all like that. And he had some cameos in there from Barbara Crampton and Jeffrey Combs. No kidding.

And it's on screen box? Yeah, it just... I have a subscription for. Okay. The humor just wasn't working for me. Wasn't getting you there, huh? No. Well, here is.

I never understand this because, like, as a producer, as somebody who's trying to make money off of these films, that's quite the tongue twister of a name there. Onics and the fortuitous fortune of, you know, whatever it is. Like, when you're searching for that, even if you had a party or at a gathering, somebody says, oh, this is a good movie. shit when you have time. You gotta pop

out your notebook to write that name down. You know, the whole thing. This will probably take a whole page. So they got to fucking chill with that shit and just call it like George or something. Because you could easily look it up, you know? Jesus Christ, it's two hours long, Brian? Oh, God.

It felt every bit of that two hours, too. Ouch. Woo! I mean, if I had to give it a compliment, they did spend some money on some practical effects and some puppetry and stuff like that and not too much cg i but it was it was just

comedy and the main character i just i couldn't if they made a sequel to the movie i probably wouldn't watch it because i don't think i can handle another movie with that character what if it was what if it was a breakout hit um and they made they had like a huge budget i mean i i guess to be a completist i would check it out but if it got the same buzz or word of mouth is the first one and I'd probably I'd probably eventually watch it but it wouldn't be on my list to get to it right away that's disappointing man it looked kind of fun from the poster art yeah uh checked out Zach Snyder's Rebel Moon

on Netflix ah okay bore me to tears that's all I got to say for that movie visually it looks good but just story-wise, it felt like Zach Snyder took bits of his favorite movies and threw them all into one sci-fi

epic. Yeah, it's something you haven't seen before. It's something, and there's two parts to it. So this film, I guess, was one of his like four-hour epics or whatever. And it was broken into two parts, but this first part

is just literally the first act of like a regular movie. He just stretched it off for like two hours. It kind of is. Like they went around just recruiting people that like, I'm like, I, she recruits somebody and I'm like, I don't know who this guy is. Yeah, and we're supposed to care about him. And then he dies.

I'm like, wait, who was that? Oh, no, road one, it's not, huh? And Jackson's in there for Sons of Anarchy with a wacky accent. I think that's the way he really talks. Is it his British accent? Jack Solo. basically was supposed to be no he's got like a kind of Irish accent oh no all right man I was

hoping you'd say it was good I mean if you're over to see right if you want to see the visuals stuff like that then I guess check it out but it's not it's not terrible it's just it's not anything you haven't seen before it's like a of cool scenes from other sci-fi movies. It's like, yeah, it's like he had, it's like he had a big movie night. Yeah. And then like every thing he liked from each movie,

he watched that night. He just wrote it on a notepad and was like, what if you put this in a movie? What if you put that in a movie? Like, I'd be excited to see the Snyder cut and part two. Yeah, because they're supposed to be, there's going to be an R-rated version they're going to put out, which I don't understand.

why didn't you just go ahead and put the R-rated version out. No kidding. On Netflix, yes. Because it's four and a half hours. Or at least simultaneously. I mean, I guess you want the younger audiences to watch your movie, but just have the option to watch the R-rated version. It's Netflix.

It's like free babysitting. Nobody's watching those parental controls, man. It's just fucking... Right, right. Put them in front of the screen and hope for the best, you know? Absolutely, dude. That's, like you said, the Gen Z way. Also, I kind of stayed in Netflix this week.

I've seen the Equalizer 3 was available on Netflix now. That was it? Eh. I don't see, the thing is, I don't know if Denzel's pushing 70. I don't know if he's starting to show it now or if the movie was trying to convey that he's getting older now with the storyline they were given. But a lot of the. hand-to-hand fighting stuff you got with the first two movie. It was kind of went away with this one.

It kind of just, like, he just stabbed somebody or sliced their throat or shoot him instead of... And even the second movie was not as awesome hand-to-hand as the first one was. It was like, remember when Steven Seagal got a little heavy there towards the end? A little heavy. All he could do was that quick, like, hand motion to the throat. and that's how you saw over and over in the later films. Oh, gosh. It's so bad now.

There's movies where he's sitting in chairs doing that. I believe it. But my cool of the week, I'll have to go with, I also checked out David Fincher's The Killer with Michael Fastbender. Oh, yeah, that one wasn't bad. Yeah, who was a decent little action thriller, Michael Fastbender, plays an assassin and you kind of get the inner workings of how he does things and most of the dialogue from him is him just kind of monologuing not monologuing but narrating that gave me a lot of

anxiety though because like our brain is not used to like having that kind of length of time with him monologuing like a like a voiceover and you're watching the movie you're like okay eventually something's going to happen but he just keeps on talking to himself for like an hour you know it's not the the most glamorous portrayal of Assassin's lifestyle because, you know, he's showing you there's a lot of waiting and... Roast Point Blink was waiting and watching. Why, yeah.

It was something original. I, you know, I give Fincher credit for trying. It wasn't boring. I wouldn't say it was boring. It was just very unusual. But, yeah, I would give it a check if anybody wants to watch it. Yeah. I mean, if you got Netflix anyway, right?

Yeah, so. I can't recommend the first three, but I recommend the killer. All right. Philip? It's not John Wood's the killer. That's a whole different. No. Oh, that was a full recommendation.

I did my homework this week. But I'm going to start with Hell House Origins. Okay. Watched that one. It wasn't bad. I don't know if it was as good as the first one. No, I think that's officially like a cold classic that. first one. Yeah, sure, sure. Now, Philip, are you a Hell House aficionado? Did you also check out

the second and the third one as well? I've seen them. Do I remember everything about them? No. But I know that they had the Abidon Hotel or whatever. They got burned down, and then they did a backstory with this one, and they sort of tied everything together, which I thought was pretty cool. Okay. But yeah, I was relatively impressed with it. We'll move on. This is the one. This is the with the creepy mechanical clowns or whatever? Yeah, well, they were mannequins. Manikins, okay, that's right. And then we'll move on to the alien one.

What is it called? No one will save you. No one will save you. Oh, okay. Yeah, watch that one. It was pretty cool. It was an interesting kind of quirky take on it. She's got like two lines of dialogue in the whole movie.

Yeah, I didn't realize that until the end of the movie. Yeah, which was kind of an interesting thing to do. I liked it. I dug it. But my definite cool of the week is when evil lurks. Holy shit. Got to some catching up, huh? That was fucking bad ass, man.

That's a top tenor. Yeah, that definitely would have made it like high on my list of top ten. probably number two had I had I watched it before I made my list but what a great fucking movie that scene with a dog fucking gnarles the girl's face off I'm like holy shit you just got you got to stick with it Philip you got to get past the subtitles brother and hang in there you don't you know you know it's going to happen but yeah I mean you know it's going to happen but you don't I mean, you know it's going to happen, but you don't think it's going to happen, like, the way they show it. Yeah, like, I was like, there's no.

I mean, because, yeah, they set it up where you're like, oh, that dog is the demon. It's fixing to eat the girl. And then you're like, no, they can't do that. Maybe the girl's a demon or something. I mean, and they kill the dog. They definitely won't kill the little girl. And then, sure enough. Brutal.

Argentine, brother. There's no rules over there. It is a brutal fucking movie, man. The only rule in Argentina is no crying, Pedro. And they break that one daily, so there you go. Right. And no scoring on your own goal. Oh, yeah.

You don't want to do that. You don't want to do that. So that's it, man. That's what I got this week, man. I just caught up on some 2023 horror stuff. And, yeah, I think both of those would have ended up on my top 10, probably. but when evil lurks was definitely a bright spot. That was a good movie.

Yeah, it did catch up on some good ones, man. Not bad, not bad. I've got a... I had a Netflix week, too, Brian. Just finished watching the new Ricky Jervais, Armageddon, and Dave Chappelle, The Dreamer. Oh, I'll watch the Dave Chappelle one. Yeah, kids don't watch this if you're easily offended.

If words, if words. Maybe you should. Actually, you should. Fair enough. So a lot of other Netflix stuff too, but I found a series and Al Ramseur. Shout out, brother.

He agrees with me, man. He posted something in the group. You guys heard of this new one, The Brother's son? Michelle Yao. Yeah, Michelle Yao is like the mother figure of the family, but it's mainly

revolves around these two brothers that are like polar opposites. So the movie, He starts out in Taipei, and you've got the one brother that's like a super hard gangster, right? Like runs the triad, and his dad's an old-time gangster. But he loves to watch cooking shows. So he's watching a cooking show. I mean, who does it?

Well, yeah, but he's watching this cooking show and trying to make a souffle not fall down. And then these guys burst into the, I guess the, I don't know if it's an apartment or like a high-rise that they're in. I'm sure it's a high-rise. through the triad, right? And just start fucking going into big time, really well choreographed kung fu battles, lots of gun play. Great opening scene, man.

And then you got that cooking show going in the background, so you kind of got a split screen. So I thought that was kind of well filmed. But then it gets really interesting because he goes to, he goes to L.A. to protect his mother and his brother that he hasn't seen since they were both like five years old, because they left the gangster. life and went to L.A. to get the young one out of that so he could be a doctor.

This all happens in the first 10 minutes, so I'm not giving anything away. But I'll just say the second episode was better than the first, so I'm hoping each one gets better. The second episode is where they crashed a birthday party, and you had a first time I've ever seen it, a Kung Fu, inflatable dinosaur costume battle. You ever heard of anything like that before? Oh. It was glorious, man.

That sounds awesome. It was phenomenal. And then you got a guy trying to yell. It's not far from it. Not far from it. You got the one brother tried to yell through bulletproof glass, and you'll find out why it's bulletproof right after he ducks. But yeah, good show, man. Michelle Yao, she's like box off his goal. I don't know. Her, what's his name, Pedro Pascal? And there was one more. My wife and I were just talking about him.

They're like the Holy Trinity right now. of actors. Jenna Ortega. Well, she could be up. Oh, yeah. Yeah. A kid's in everything.

So, yeah, the brother's son on Netflix, cool of the week. Including Kylie Jenner. Uh-huh. He's in there, huh? Apparently. Right? Can't blame him.

Kind of like a sex doll. That's plastic. All right, Brian. Got any, news has to be ramped up by now, right? It's January. We got some news. Let's start with Stranger Things

has finally begun production on the final season, so we'll get that final season in 20, 26, probably. When they all have gray hair and beards? Yeah. I'm hoping they jump the storyline a little bit to make sense why all the

actors are now adults. Right. So we'll see about that. What's the name of the, what's the name of the town they're in? Hawkins. Hawkins. So maybe it'll be like stranger things return to Hawkins or something.

Like they're all in their professions that they've all graduated college and holding down jobs. It'd be like the second part of it. Exactly. That's what I was envisioned. Let's see. David S. Sandberg. is returning to horror.

He said his next two feature-length films will be based on two of his short films, which he has not said with short films. Hmm. Okay. Well, that's not always good after this fucking... After night swim? I don't know.

But he's good, though. I mean, I know that he was a very disillusioned with, you know, after working on Shazam. But, you know, now that's probably why he came back to horror. So we'll see. We'll see what he does with those shorts.

Yeah, I mean, I thought he did a good job with Lights Out. Oh, yeah, it was good. Pedro, AEW star Steve Strickland, joins the cast of the upcoming slasher Stiletto. Wow. That guy is, yeah, he's getting a big push right now. So he's hot. He's the egg guy. So we'll see.

Hopefully he put the belt on him sometime this year. we'll see i think they want samojo to have a long run so but samojo tends to get hurt a lot so we'll see how that goes he's had a decent run in a w and not getting hurt so uh well let me think about that um yeah yeah yeah you're right i mean i no i think he was injured there for a little bit but he came back ever since around the webley shows he he's been you know he's been on so yeah hopefully you'll continue that because he's the champion isn't he busy with uh twisted metal Well, they are going to start production on season two, right? Or they already did or something.

Yeah, I heard it's a big hit. Yeah, so I never watched it, but... I haven't yet either. Maybe I'll add it to my list. I'm running out of TV shows. Let's see. Ozark Star, and I believe she was in a movie. I think you've seen it recently, the Royal Hotel.

The Grand Hotel. Julia Gardner joins the cast of the upcoming Wolfman movie. She's a Spitfire. She's a Spitfire, Everything. seen her in so you know what but I feel like she needs to fire her agent because she should be way bigger than she is I mean she she came out of Ozark like like the it girl for a while there you know what she's a great actress but then yeah we didn't we didn't see her anything for anything mainstream anyway for a while so I don't know right you have to start having conversation with

bean counters maybe maybe she likes doing indie stuff man but if you you said a werewolf movie is it a universal this the wolf man oh fuck dude there there you go Pedro you just nailed it she fired her agent she got one that's got her hooked up at Universal we're set I mean the next hey you gotta come out here to Florida dude it'll be the haunt that we're going to go through

in October I'm sure as long as we don't get stuck in it like the last time we're together in Salem well we couldn't find our way out of the haunted house you could bet we will man let's see Jason Blum's Blumhouse and James Wan's

atomic monster have officially merged and joined forces So, Philip, a lot more produced things from James Juan coming. Okay. Produced by. He doesn't have the best record, right? I mean, he's batting under five, you know, under 200 because his movies. His movies tend to suck.

Let's be real bum. Especially the produced ones, yeah. The ones he actually involved in, he's usually pretty good. Well, not Aquaman, too, and I'll get to it. Yeah. I hadn't watched that one yet, but I hadn't heard anything good. I don't watch any DC stuff or Sony stuff, but I will watch Adam Webb and Brian, you know why.

Oh, yeah. Why don't you tell us all why? Oh, everybody, everybody knows. Lance ain't talking about Dane. He's talking about Dakota Johnson. That's right. They're both on my bucket list, man. Let's see.

Rodriguez is rumored to be producing a remake of his 1998's The Faculty. Oh, that's a great movie to remake, I would think, you know? I mean, it was good when it came out, but I'd like to see it updated. That was interesting because that was primarily Kevin Williamson. Sure. That's the name I remember. Yeah, and a lot of his fingerprints were on that film. More so than Robert Rodriguez's stuff.

What I do remember about the faculty is that they, like, blatantly stole that scene from the thing. where they're trying to see who the alien is. That's right. Like this is like almost word for word in a lot of ways. Right. Except with younger people. So it is going to be interesting to see what he does because Robert Rodriguez has been on my shit list for a minute. Just because he completely ruined Bubba Fett, you know.

And, you know, because he was in the showrunner for that for that show. But he did direct of quite a few episodes. Didn't care for him, huh? No, I mean, I don't know. And then he did the one with Ben. Affleck, right? The late, one of the... Oh, hypnotic? Yeah, hypnotics. I like that.

Yeah. That movie was not good. I'm pretty sure I watched it and I can't remember it at all. You were probably drinking hypnotic. Yeah, probably. Yeah, him and Kevin Smith are a couple of those 90s directors that that kind of couldn't keep up with the times. I'll just put it out with. Yeah. Man, I hear you.

All right. think that is going to be it. I think we already talked about the past couple episodes during little pauses I threw out Christopher Abbott's replacing Brian Gosling and the Wolfman. And I think I also talked about Christopher Landon officially leaving Scream 7.

Yeah, I heard something about that. Well, you said it, Brian. He said it was a shit show or something. He said his dream job became a nightmare is his quote. Yeah. Yikes. Let's go ahead and play the smallest violin

for him right now because come on. Get over yourself. And I read... Hocopo man too. Look what happens when you get producers that are so involved in the movie. And I read rumored that they

tried to, the studio tried to offer Melissa Barrera her role back. of course she turned them down of course she did yeah yeah yeah did that so everybody that's how you kill a franchise in a few months well people will go see you know people are cheap they'll go see the latest one it's just something when it comes to scream because i'll be honest with you scream six wasn't all that good and i'll get to it in my in my top bottom section of the show um uh you know it just it's like

it's like appointment going to the theater as an appointment right it's like it's a screen movie everybody's gonna go event filming yeah event there you go thank you i'm sick i had night wheel and i just got out of work so that's not a good you know my brain's not quite as a shit you're doing you're doing good so far but let me ask you a question man are you uh are you all geared up you're ready to go down to the trailer park with us you of course all right brian is going to bring us the big the small and sometimes the very, very weird. What's the first new trailer tonight, Brian? The first and only new trailer is the supposed prequel, but from the trailer, I'm not too sure if it necessarily is a prequel. So the original omen, the first omen. This is directed by Arcahasha Stevenson,

and this stars Nell Tiger Free. I believe she was in that Eminich Chamalon Apple Series servant Oh, okay I think she was the Nanny that was hired Okay

Bill Nahi Ralph Inneson And there was somebody else Charles Dance is also in this I don't know this has Firestarter remake written all over Oh no Yeah, I mean

It's a great cast man It's a great cast I don't know, man Girls dance, Bill 9 Look, you guys ever seen that TV show Servant on Apple TV? The one I just talked about? I worked the way to get a beer.

It's funny when you haven't had a beer for a couple of weeks The first one tastes a little weird. The second one tastes like coming home. Is that Florida beer? That's right. Florida man beer. What were you saying about serving? Yeah, no, I thought it was a good.

it was a great show man it was uh you didn't out let me say it's welcome she's awesome so you think she's going to carry this movie i do yeah i do i think she's like super she's super creepy in the in the tv show and i don't think is she supposed to be like the protagonist in this one or is she supposed to be like the wife and a devil or i can't really tell let's see it's a prequel and and looks great rosemary's baby it's like five years old in the first one i don't see here this one Synopsis goes a young American woman is sent to Rome to begin a life of service to the church But encounters a darkness that causes her to question their faith and it covers terrifying conspiracy that hopes to bring about the birth of evil incarnate. Generic. Did they hire AI already to write these movies?

Wait to hear the description for night swim. I think I think you just described the nun too right here. And the nun one. and nuns on the run with Robbie Coltrane and Eric Idol and La Yerona and all these fucking generic More right Phil this is kind of more up your alley

with the religious horror yeah it is but I kind of feel the same way as Pedro man I'm not like jumping out of my chair to go watch it looks very Rosemary's baby it looks very pretty is what it does which is concerning

more than more than the omen at least so I don't know I'll I'll reserve my judgment until it comes out until then I'm not willing to say that it's going to be good because it's probably not Lance everything screams that this is going to be a

utter piece of shit and for that for that reason I've got hope I have faith I think this might be a good watch call me a fool when it comes out and we've all talked about this movie buddy be the devil's conspiracy, Lanzas.

You know what? It's ain't going to be the devil's conspiracy, I hope for crying out loud. So let's go ahead and put it as your number one already, even though it's not going to pop the label. Pedro, did I miss here or did you say it looks like very pretty? Yes, like it's very glitzy. Well filmed.

I mean, yeah, it's kind of like it's almost trying to be a little pretentious, maybe. But it's like, how is this a prequel when the Omen One is very dark and, you know, the atmosphere doesn't match? Yeah, I know. I'm going to give it a chance, guys. I'll give it a shot, mainly because there's just not a lot coming out this year that I'm excited about yet. But I'll give it a shot, Brian. You know what, Lance? I'm going to jump on that bandwagon with you. I think this is going to be a lot better than we expected. Got to use that AMC stuff card, huh? Yeah. In Florida. Lance, have you found your go-to theater in Florida yet? Dude, it's literally right across the street.

I walk to it. Yeah, every Friday I walk to it. And they've got this mammoth screen over there that's like Big D. I was catching shit about the name. But no, dude, it's great sound system over there. It's really funny because you've got this gigantic theater with like, you know, 100 seats and you got three people in there. I don't know how long they're going to stay in business, but I've been saying that about AMC for five years now.

So this is not an AMC theater that you've got. It is AMC. Yeah, it is AMC. So, yeah, I don't know, dude. I'm not, hey, I'm not going to turn in my A-List card quite yet. I'll put it that way. All right. The first Omen hits theaters April 5th.

That's right around the corner. April fools. I thought so much in a bad movie. But we're going to watch it. All right, that's it. All right. On to listener feedback. This week, we share the podcast spotlight on Kate Anjou book reviews.

All right. Finally, some love for the books. God damn, I don't know what to do here between Pedro and Kate. It's like I feel like I'm finally with my people here, you know? I got all I got all I wanted for Christmas was a Kindle because I've got a nooks. I wanted an Amazon Kindle and I got it. So I'm a happy boy. Oh, nice.

Now I got to get the MCU book. Yeah. Our dear friend Kate from Eternal Darkness of a Not So Spotless Mind brings you all manners of book reviews and author interviews. So be sure to check that out. And Kate, gracious as always, says, oh my God, guys. thank you so much. We'll let you know all the info since it's available,

setting up all my socials, etc. this weekend, ready for the launch at the end of the month. There you go. And speaking of Eternal Darkness, their end of the year episode

will be landing shortly, so check that out. I probably already did. Oh, boy. I'll say, we're in the middle of January here. We'll see what all movies Matt bitch is about

because he fucking hates everything. So. And our show intro and all of our logos come from Steve Carlton from the geeks. Be on the lookout for some more great stuff from him. And of course, Natsulani does our original skull artwork. So check her out on Instagram. And if you'd like to help us out, please consider becoming a Patreon patron. We'll let you pick the movies for a future show at any amount.

And for $5 or more month, also pick a commentary for a future bonus show. we'll get to more feedback next week but first before we hit the features pedro how is your 2023 here we go what's your best and worst of list so so we'll go with we'll start with the bottom half right that's how we do it here um so i mean i'll just start with shaky shivers and the last of that was on my top 10 what the fuck Here we go. Here we go. I heard that on a couple of people's top ten, I think.

I saw a skinnamarink in a lot of top ten. Oh, yeah, me too. Well, I mean, it's not underfoot. Okay. So number nine would be Aquaman 2, right? The most... Oh, only nine? Yeah, just very uninspired, generic.

You know, just let's get through this and start this new era, you know? I felt bad for Patrick Wilson, because he's really good and a lot of things he does, but here he had nothing to work with. He wasn't good in the red door. No, he wasn't, which is also on my list. Jason Momoa, he's a very charismatic guy. He's like an innately charismatic,

but here it was missing. And so, I don't know, I just remember I had a watch in 3D because that's the only time that I was in the movie. I love 3D movies, man. No, they give me a headache. It's weird. Those glasses don't work half the time, and you're like fucking with them the entire time.

time and shit. But I am on A-lister, so it's all the same shit to me. So, yeah, so that was, you know, very let down. Just very anti-climatic ending to this era of the DCU or DC or whatever the fuck it's called. Then there was this number eight would be Scream Six. I just didn't forgive that whole just fucking killing everyone and then just bringing everyone back shit because once you, like, once the stuff.

stakes are not that high anymore. It becomes a big cartoon. It becomes a big joke, right? Like Scooby-Doo, basically. Yes, exactly. Or the Marvel Universe. Right. I mean, they haven't brought 40s. So that's good. So I was very just, even

when everybody was on its dick, you know, Scream Six is the greatest shit ever. I was like, come on. Like, you know, the ending kind of sucked and just bringing everybody back, just kind of let a sour taste in my mouth. So there you go. Number 7, there was this

shark exploitation documentary on Shudder that I was really kind of excited for when I heard about it because it's fucking sharks and horror and sharks have a long history, right? But they ended up, there was about a 40 minute. I don't know if any of you guys watched this, but there was about

like a, there was about a 40 minute chunk of time there where they focused on fucking asylum films. Like, what the fuck? I don't care about that shit, you know? Educate me on sharks. and, you know, the history of shark films. So I was a little let down by that.

Then we have the elevator game. Like, what the fuck was that? Like, and I think Brian said last week how that production crew tends to make good films, right? They made a couple of good films that are on shutter. But this one just, it looks so, like it looked like they had no budget. The fucking story didn't make any sense. And I just, I was bored to tears watching it. Um, next we have the Nun 2, which I, I thought I had, I thought I had gone into like a revival screening of the Nun 1.

You know, I'm like, am I at the new Bev and there's, and I went into watching the, it's literally the same fucking movie, you know? And I was like, I don't know, it was just so unoriginal and uninspired. Then we have, it's a wonderful knife. Like, and that's a very interesting story, because. Remember, I don't know if you guys remember this, but I had gotten the dates mixed up, and I went to go watch that atrocity while we're supposed to be doing the Ricky O, the story of Ricky, which ended up being a blessing in disguise, by the way, because we got it done the next day, and it was fucking awesome. I was about to put that film in my top ten, just because I watched it this last year. It was awesome. It was awesome.

So, no, I mean, it's a wonderful knife. Like, I get it. You want to do like those kind of Christopher London. kind of movies, right? Like freaky and all that. I know he kind of got over with the, and he had nothing to do with this film, by the way, but that was kind of what they were going for.

But somewhere in there, like, it just becomes this drama with like a horror thing. There's nothing going on, right? And so it's so boring. The kills were not very original. And yeah, so, I don't know. I just, I didn't like it at all.

Then we have insidious. the red door. Now, we dropped the review on this. I was on here for that review. Just another one of those films that just, they're all starting to just jumble up together. I can't even tell them, I can't even tell which one is which at this point. I just kind of run together. It's impossible. I can, I can tell the last key. The last key with a finger. That one was garbage. That's the movie that all the stuff was in the trailer that wasn't in the movie. Yeah. Ouch. And the studio. And they And then we have... The mystery machine man, right?

Yes. And then we have, you know, David Gordon Green and the franchise destroyer. Because for this round, he decided to fuck up the exorcist. Uh-oh. With the exorcist believer. Again, just very bland. This time they had two little girls instead of one,

and they had different religions. There was an interesting concept there, but the delivery was just bland and boring. So, yeah, so that was... I think that was my number two worst of the year. And then I'm going to close it off with the Marvels. I know I'm cheating a little bit here, but we do cover John Langman. Wow.

I mean, the Marvels was, I don't even know what to say, man. It was like they knew they had a bad movie. Oh, yeah, Lance, you liked it. I haven't seen it. I haven't heard anybody say they liked it. Oh, one of the geese. Oh, one of the geeks liked it, Brian. Who liked it?

They all liked it. I thought so, man. No, I've heard very few people say they didn't like it, truthfully. It's okay to be wrong, and for one they could be wrong, so. So, so yeah, no, it's just very uninspired. Just, there's no fluidity to that movie. It's literally, like, like, scene after scene, and their own rules of their own universe, they don't even follow that, you know.

know, the villain is the worst villain we've seen. Let me see, I don't know, since the yellow jacket and the first Ant-Man movie, you know. So, yeah, so that's my least favorite of the year. That one's the one that really kicked everything in gear for Kevin Feigy and his team to just kind of take a step back and be like, we've got to reassess all this shit. And so now next year, or this year, I should say, they're only releasing one MCU film. I think Echo Drops today. so I'll probably check it all later on today. Yeah, it's just drop.

But other than that, I mean, they're taking a break, and they need to because they got to go back to that war room and figure shit out. Because they really dropped the ball all of last year with other, you know, releases. Well, not all of them because Guardians 3 was fucking awesome. Yeah. So that's it. That's my, I don't have any disarmamentions. So now my top of the year. And I'm just my, I'm trying to pick my jaw up off the floor right now, Pedro.

I can't believe, dude. you come on a horror podcast, okay? And you saw the devil conspiracy. I didn't see that. But here's the thing, but, you know, I want to give people something different. You've already buried that film last one. You know, there's no reason to repeat ourselves.

Fair enough. So here's where I'm going to get some heat with you all, I think, because I think I didn't like this film. So my honorable mentions, no, I'm going to my honorable mentions right now. So the first honorable mention is Thanksgiving. Lance. I enjoy that film. I mean, it's not, I wouldn't, I'm not going to die on that hill. Don't get me wrong. I mean, it's not, you're not going to stand locked, arms locked with Eli when I approach him at Priton. Oh, oh, you're going to take care of business and I'll be filming the whole thing. How about that? Oh, yeah, we're definitely going to talk him up and film it the entire time. Oh, man. Tell me, you didn't like that opening scene, uh, that representation of Black Friday? I thought that was pretty cool.

I don't remember it Walk me through it again Jesus Christ I don't know if Lance liked anything I think Lance gave it a two I didn't give it a two Did I? It was only 10 Out of my

A two on 10? Yeah I don't know Maybe I don't know So that's no I don't remember I've eaten some turkey since then It was It was a cool slasher flick You know what was the last time

We had a like a nice old school Slasher flick at the movie theater And they still don't because this one suck. I mean, it was, you know. It's a wonderful knife. So you're saying there was no wonderful knives in this film is what you're saying. So you're saying this movie was the turkey. This movie was the giblet gravy and wonderful knife is the turkey, huh?

Yes. Okay. So then another one would be no one will save you, which we already talked about earlier in this podcast. So again, fun time, you know. The thing about these films is that I thought no one will save you did a good job of like not, the way they filmed it. Other than a couple of scenes here and there, you never really found a reason for the lead protagonist to talk, you know? Whereas there was another movie that was released, John Wu's Silent Night.

Did any of you all catch that one? Yes. Saw that one at the theater across the street, man. That was the first movie. There was a lot of moments in that movie where it's like, bro, just fucking talk. Like say something. But he couldn't. He couldn't. I know he got the little gimmick on his throat. I get it. Right. But the people around him, come on. You know? Like the detective, for example. Like, he found reasons why not to talk because the script called for that. And I'm like, this is fucking ridiculous. Yeah, I got you. I liked it. I didn't love it. I thought it was good. I liked it too. It's John Wool. Come from. on John will coming back to the States. It's always nice to see that. Sure. So, so this particular movie, though, there wasn't very scenes where it took me out because I'm like, the girl needs to fucking say something, you know?

Yeah, right. That's a shitty marriage, huh? They talk to my cell phone. So then another honorable mention would be knock at the woods. I really, I really enjoy that movie, you know? Very straightforward, but in a good way, you know? I know that when we first saw the trailer we're saying, what's the big twist? And guess what? There ain't no fucking twist. It is what it

is. And so I thought Batista was great in it. I thought Emla Langchamala Ling Dong really directed it very well. So, no, that was a good movie for an early February release. That left an impression on me. I almost put it in my

top ten. Yeah, really good movie. We'll see his daughter's director debut this year too. Oh boy, come on. Although she did do some episodes of Servant and they were really good. Nepotism at its worst here. I know, nepo babies, right?

Gen Z with the Nepos, never a good combination. And then another one that I really enjoyed, but it did have some flaws was Satanic Hispanics. Did you guys catch that one? I didn't watch it. It's a good little anthology. It's decent. I'm a big fan of anthology movies

and we rarely get them nowadays. So it was, it hit the spot for what it was. And then another one is Megan. And I think you guys talked about Megan, right? Last week, yeah, that was another fun movie, you know. So, you know, everybody's already kind of talked it up. So I'll just move on. It was a fun movie.

Evil Dead Rise, another honorable mention. Not in my top ten, but a fun time. I wish with that title, though, because right away, any any at least with me you're i'm thinking like demons too right where it's like you're at a high rise like there's so many possibilities with so many one walking there or the one uh what was it called city of the dead or something like that the romero movie with the high rise in it where that one zombie was pumping gas it was pumping gas yeah they're starting to learn how to pump gas we're in trouble so so yeah so there was a lot of possibilities but in the end it was just kind of it was just a couple

of people. Yeah, just a different setting. But I thought the set pieces were all very good. I thought that cheese grater scene got a little over hype by the director for what we saw. It was bullshit, but besides that, I mean, it was a fun movie.

Let me see here. Any other... No, that's it for my... The Marbles. Wasn't the Marbles? No, no, fuck that movie. Oh, another honorable mention is Saltburn. I really enjoy Saltburn.

Did you guys catch that one? Not yet. I'm going to watch that this week. I've just heard nothing but great things about that. Yeah, it's a really good movie. It's a nice thriller, so I think it fits within the scope of this show that we're covering here. It's a thriller. I thought it was just a straight-up drama.

No, I wouldn't insult the horror in returns by putting a drama on my fucking honorable mentions. No, there is quite a few horror elements to it, and when you watch it, you understand what I'm talking about. So with that said, here we go. Number 10. The Meg part two. I really love that movie. I really fucking love that movie. Yes.

Like that's- Yeah, somebody in my corner. It's a throwback to just a lot of these 80s, like ridiculous. Because the bar keeps on getting raised in that movie, right? Lance, like you're watching it. Absolutely. Fuck, yeah, dude. And the first hour is all set up, right? I mean, they're underwater.

They're trying to fix that mechanism that's keeping the Meg out. I thought it was going to be horrible at first. It took 10 to 15 minutes, maybe 20 to get into it. We're in sync right now, big time, because... That doesn't happen very often. They get it... They go about four or five gears ahead. It's like, by the end, there's all kinds of sea creatures just coming out of the water.

Like, it's not even about the May anymore. You know, there's octopuses. There's all kinds of other kinds of fishes. And it just becomes just a fucking great time. And that's one that left an impression on me, and it's fucked up that it didn't get more attention than it deserves because it was a nice little throwback. The story was pretty good as well. And it was just the characters were, they all got over with me, you know?

So it was a good time. Nice. I'm glad to hear it, man. I'm not the only one. So you're saying, Philip and Brian, you guys didn't watch it? Yeah, I liked it. Okay. Not as good as my top ten.

All right, number nine is Cobweb. Okay, good pick. Another great movie. you guys talked about it last week. Number eight is Saw 10. Okay. It was a really good movie, you know, and there was a lot of dramatic pieces to it, right? Tobin Bell got an opportunity to act finally in one of these fucking movies and show range, right?

It was interesting. There is something that did bother me. I mean, to me, the movie was great. it was a throwback and I know that part of the reason why it resonated with me was because they had a lot of nostalgia which you know always affects people in different ways um but he fucking got all all the shit that he needed for these traps remember he's in Mexico and he's got cancer okay and this and this is supposed to be between part one and part two so he's still in all this with all these like Rube Goldberg like machin machine right but yet like he's

He never fucks them up. And he's got fucking cancer. They work perfectly, right? Yes. He's always a step ahead. Well, yeah, yeah, except... Even when you think he's not. They fuck with him a lot in this one, though, towards the end.

They do, but he still ends up a step ahead, right? Yes. And I appreciate the cameo from the detective from the later films. The detective's Trump. Sure, sure. That was pretty cool. Yeah, that was pretty cool. Fortailing, as it were, right?

Yes. So, yeah, no, I love that. I don't know what you guys thought about it, but I thought it was a great film. I think we all enjoyed it. Yeah, it was in my top. Yeah. All right, so number seven is the blackening.

I really enjoyed that film. Did you guys watch it? We watched it. We were a little bit divided. I expected a little bit more. I love the opening scene with Chris Farrow. I mean, it's a comedy. It's a comedy, right?

It's a comedy. Too much comedy, man. To me, it didn't decide what it wanted to be. I could understand that. I agree with you. But at the same time, I think, you know, I like, there was a lot of, like, you know, it wasn't politically correct in a lot of ways. And it just used certain tropes to really move the story forward.

You know, there's a couple of good performances. It accomplished a lot of stuff it set out to do. I was just expecting, like I said, that opening scene with Jay Farrow and his girl, and they were just kind of like totally unfiltered. And then I thought it kind of got a little bit weird. But I don't know. Yeah. Right.

Well, I really. What's what I was expecting. I just rewatched it again last night. It still hits with me. Number six, now, I don't know. I think I fucked up, but I think it came out last year. But please correct me if I'm wrong. Because bodies, bodies, bodies, that was 2022, right?

Yeah. God damn it. Yeah. It was on my 22 list. All right, so what I'm going to do right now is I'm going to take bodies, bodies, which is a great movie, but people should watch it. You're going to drop the bodies on the floor or what? Yes, I'm going to drop the bodies hit the floor. And I'm going to put Thanksgiving as my knowledge just to fuck with Lance because that's, yeah, so that's going to take over that spot.

All right. So my number five, now I know me and Lance are also in sync in this one. BHS 95 you know that's the that's the one yeah that's the one that was a great movie um that another anthology film right um and and i think it's probably besides part one and two it's probably the best one they've done you know there's a whole shill of them nowadays but uh it's my favorite it's my favorite of all of them yeah we talked about the gji guerrero segment which was awesome you know they were all great um hey gigi g g right yes brine Hey.

And there was, like, the atmosphere was also really good. There was a couple of them that were like legitimately creepy. I wouldn't say scary, but they were very creepy. So yeah, VHS 95. People haven't seen it on Shutter as well. All right. My number four is leave the world behind from Netflix. I really love that film.

You know, I thought, I thought. It's terrible. It's true. Yeah, it's a trippy film. I thought Julia Roberts did a phenomenal job. I thought everybody did a great job. I thought the story was engaging through and through. I don't know.

The ending was a little bit of a disappointment, but it may be it. It was. It was, but do you think maybe it was just kind of like an analogy? I mean, you don't think that literally happened. She just happened to come upon that fallout shelter, do you? I don't know, man. It seems pretty straightforward to me. Yeah, it seemed that way.

A little too straightforward. I don't know. I enjoyed it. I loved it, man. I love those brain fuck movies, you know? No, yeah, it was really good. I really enjoyed it. And supposedly, it's based on, like, a real conversation with somebody in, like, Barack Obama's cabinet or something of how, like, if you want to kind of dismantle society, you do all that stuff. So, anyway.

Barack Obama was directly involved in the production of the movie. Oh, wow. And don't think there's not superpowers all around the world that are taking notes. my number three and this is a great fucking movie so you know my number two and one are going to be just out of this world my number three is when evil lurks like we yeah nice

nice mentioned when evil lurks really really you know just a lot of anxiety right in that first half of the movie you're just you're just following these brothers and they just keep on getting into deeper shit so a lot of it is also like in a lot of ways they should stop while they were ahead but they just

keep on making things worse for themselves, you know? A lot of the cinematography was great. Thankfully, I speak fluent Spanish, so I need the subtitles, so I could really catch what was going on. Just a lot of great scenes. We talked about the dog scene, which I think is the one that everybody keeps on bringing up. And, you know, when they're trying to pick up, like, I think it's the priest, right?

The first one, the first one that has the demon in him, and they're trying to drag them around in the truck. Like, you could kind of feel the filth. You know, you could feel like, God, damn. That was, you know, so I really like that. Yeah. Green pus using out. Right.

Because there is, like, this also, like, overarching theme of, like, infection, you know, and whatnot. So, so all that was really, really well done. The only thing that bothered me a little bit is the third act kind of got away from that, and it went more into, like, this Gothic horror. You know, which is very popular in Argentina, where all of a sudden it was about, like, these kids, and, you know, they spend a lot of time. It became very spiritual in a lot of ways as well towards the end, you know. So it kind of sacrificed the intensity of, like, that first act, like the first two acts of the film.

So, so, you know, but it's, it's a phenomenal movie. And again, there were so many times at the end of it where I was like, what are you doing? This guy's fucking retarded. Yeah. They kept on getting to more shit. So my number two would be talk to me, you know, which is in everybody's top ten. Oh, that's a good one. Really, really good film, through and through.

I like how genuine, like, the, young kids came off in that film. So it almost looked like a documentary. So they got the dialogue perfect. It wasn't like an old, it wasn't like a four-year-old dude writing for kids. You could tell that it was young people writing for young people. and the conversations in that room, when they're doing the sounds and all that, they're very organic and natural, you know,

and I really like that because it's almost like you're watching a documentary instead of like a film. I also like the reactions to some of the characters. I like how it makes sense, like the characters, other decisions make sense from their perspective, even though, you know,

there's a lot of dumb decisions that are made along the way. So yeah, I know, great film, and I can't wait for the sequel. They're probably going to fuck it up as tends to have. with sequels, but it is what it is. Sure. And my number one,

my number one, and it's in everybody's number one, or just about, it's Godzilla minus one. Because... Oh, I got to see this. Oh, you guys have heard nothing but good things. Oh, my goodness. Yeah, same here. It's one of those films that I think it's officially overhyped for all you guys

that haven't seen it, but it does deliver. Okay. It's for the first time in, probably since the first one, the, the, the, the, they got the human characters over, you know, because that's one of the hardest things about a Godzilla film, right? Nobody gives a shit about the humans. It's like, let's see the monster fights. But in this... And the 14-foot Jason. Or I mean Michael.

Oh, Michael Myers, you mean. Well, I had Scars Guard as the scientist. That... All right. No, it ain't get over. So, no, this film has a lot of heart to it. It's very much like a dramatic piece with a monster thrown in there, which is interesting how they were able to get away with that. But, yeah. Check this out, man. The cinematography is phenomenal. The action set pieces is almost like a war movie as well, because it takes place right after World War II.

Godzilla has never... No shit. Okay. They don't even try to make Godzilla lovable or have him some sort of, like, have it be the hero in any way. This Godzilla is a monster through and through and he's evil. The eyes are perfect. Oh, nice. There's a scene where...

And I'm not going to give anything away, because you're going to... guys haven't seen it. Yeah, please don't. There's a scene where they're on a boat and Godzilla's right behind him and he's kind of floating. You see his head and his whole body is on the ocean and the eyes. You'll never forget the eyes like just the way it's filmed. Yeah, so great fucking film. And that's my favorite. Just an apex, brainless apex predator. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. That's what we want. Yep. And so we're going to have that shitty McCollewood film coming up in April I think, which is going to be compared to this one, and it's going to be one big letdown.

I could already see it. So that's my top ten, bottom ten for the year. So no surprise, really. A few surprises, but for the most part, you know, I'm in lockstep with you on most of it, you know, with the exception of a certain holiday film. And I'm not talking about a wonderful knife either. That's another thing that we got to take a break. on like this whole trying to turn Christmas

into like a horror theme holiday let's get away from that there's so many fucking films that yeah they're not going anywhere on that let's just there's well yeah I could go on forever but there's lots of Christmas films out there and they ain't going away either there was a lot of basement horror type films as well this past year

that were that were Christmas themed and it's like no indeed let's get another holiday let's make Father's Day into the next big big horror theme yeah There you go. Have all these fathers go crazy.

Get the guy. Their kids or some shit. Get the guy from lost that was in the wheelchair. Oh, that's stepfather. Never mind. That's a stepfather, yeah. One and two, but not three. And so, yeah.

So that's it. All right. All right. Well, we'll move on to our featured attractions. This week, we begin 2024 with a new haunted swimming pool movie. And a look at 2000. Can you really just say that? Haunted swimming pool, folks.

That's what it is. And a look at a 2002 swim fan, which is not a haunted swimming pool. We're going to start with swim fan from 2002. What's up, ladies? Hey. My swimming buddy. Ben Cronin thought he had it all.

Scouts are coming next week. You might actually happen, huh? Yeah. Can you picture it. Good friends. Oh, breaking one. I just remember why we broke up. She couldn't handle me in bed or?

And a bright future. So, Madison Bell. Dude, she is so smoking hot. You know I'm planning on hearing that little southern accent when she moans my name. I can't get this stupid thing open. Do you think you could? Take a look, yeah. What's the letter for Ben Cronin?

A high school senior with a promising swimming career has a one-night stand with consequences. And a very exaggerated head, by the way. Which is I've never been able to get over. Directors John Poulson, also known for episodes of The Walking Dead and Fear the Walking Dead. Writers are Charles Bowle and Philip Schneider. This film is widely considered to be an unofficial remake of Play Misty for me and or Fatal Attraction. I guess so. Erica Christensen took cello lessons for three months prior to filming.

Yeah, that helped her performance a lot. Sure. Pedro, do you see swim fan? No, I did not. No, you did not. I saw it when it came out back in 2002, and I haven't seen it since. I don't blame you.

All right, Brian, do you see it? Yeah. What's the thing about swim fan? This is the most generic. There's a good description. Late 90s, early 2000. Thriller, paint by the numbers. You already know when you got the guy that's got,

life's good, he's got the girl, in comes the new girl, you know he's going to bang her. She's supposed to be so fucking irresistible, even though there's nothing about this girl that makes me think you need to bang her immediately. She does have a very unique. head. Yes.

Abnormally large. Is this girl Gumby or what? No. I'm Gumby, damn it. I don't know. The movie just portrayed her. Like, the moment you met her, I don't know.

I was supposed to feel something. Some kind of attraction or chemistry between them. It just, when you get to the scene where he cheats on his girlfriend, like he's just so like oh no I can't stop please no yeah

like Willie Wonka no and then it takes another 20 30 minutes for her to even get into the the psycho craziness it's a lot of why didn't you call me why didn't you answer my emails and then 30 minutes there's like 20 minutes

left in the movie and then she starts getting into all the psycho stuff and there's a big love right in the middle. Yeah. And that's when you realize she's murdered a shitload of people and somehow she's still out doing it.

Yeah. Oh, no. They didn't even play off of that whole fact that she's killed before. Right. But they gave us nothing to make you think she's just this evil genius when it comes

to murder and somebody and getting away with it. So I got to ask you guys, did they have a obligatory high school party scene. Yes. Oh my God. I think Pedro, we have seen this movie.

Yes, a thousand times they all suck. It's called name any 90s or 2000s teenage horror movie you want, right? Thriller. Yeah, they have the party scene where she hooks up with his teammate from his swing team that clearly looks way too old to even be in.

high school. You had the guy that plays jigsaw playing the high school student. And nobody questions anything in this movie. She tamperes with his drug test and he gets kicked out of the big meat because he tests positive for steroids. Nobody questions. They're just like,

go get your shit. Yeah. In the locker room. Get out. You're done. They didn't take one look at this guy and go, he's not on steroids. Arnold Schwarzenegger swimming or what? And then when somebody ends up dead, his character has gotten in trouble in the past before,

but when there's a dead body, when there's a dead body, they immediately, he's number one suspect. Of course, yeah. Yeah. I got mine, the detectives, I got my eye on you kid.

I know about your past. I was like, did he murder? He had a guy owner on Home Street. He's the bad kid, huh? And like I said, this is just paint by numbers. There's a hundred psychological thriller, erotic thrillers, whatever you want to call them, that came out around this time. You can just pick a cheese.

Even when he, like, goes to confront her, he's like, puts his hand around her neck and, like, a very sexual way. I was like, what are you doing? Yeah, she even grabs her by the neck. You're not sharing. She's like, yeah, he grabs her by the neck, and her first thing she says is, I didn't know you like it rough. Yeah. So I'm kind of like, you need to go about your method a little bit differently because this is clearly turning her on.

This was also during the time where, like, Jesse Bradford's in this movie, he was getting a little bit of a push in Hollywood. Oh, yeah, I remember that. Like West Bentley, you know, these kind of guys, you could pick you. Oh, sure, sure. They had a pool of them, and they were just, you know, plot them all. out and just put them in these kind of films. Yeah, like I was going to say, you can just interchange them. You can take all these movies and just swap all the actors and actresses and those still

come out the same. Yeah, he's like knock off for a pretty Prince Jr. Well, it's also doing a bunch of these kind of films during that time. Yeah. Yeah, that was kind of the same attitude I had towards it. It was, he was a little over the top in just about. everything that he did. I pretty much everybody in this movie was a little bit over the top.

And it just wasn't really believable. Which, you know, I guess you don't always have to have in a movie. But if you're looking for like a suspense thriller kind of thing, some of it's got to be at least a little believable. And it just kind of wasn't. Sure, sure. Like this big bad, big bad blonde chick is ruining it. your life.

Maybe shouldn't have fucked up. It had Dan Hedaya and a poor guy probably just catching in that paycheck because he's a very good actor. Yeah, he cashed in that paycheck for the five minutes he was in the movie. He was the swim coach.

Oh, was he? Jason Ritter was in this. Yeah, he was the one guy that just kept, he would just kept popping up he's like are you okay that guy yeah I very even vaguely remember him because that's all that's all he did

he just popped up and said are you okay every once in a while there's something wrong bro you all said Freddie Fritz Jr. was in this no he could have been and it would have made a difference it looks like it looks like a guy

what was the girl in what has she been in some save the last dance or something she was no different oh okay they always get those two confused she like white she's she's another one that around that time she was in a bunch of stuff too and she looks like I like three other people they look totally alike

to me like I can't tell the difference like I remember off the assembly line you know when I see her I think of traffic Yeah. Yeah, she was the daughter in traffic. Was she a heroin addict? Yes, she was. Of course. Okay.

Yeah. Anyway, yeah, it was just kind of okay. Very forgettable. Just watch Fatal Attraction or play Misty for me. They're way better movie. There you go. There you go. Yeah. What's the movie we reviewed a year or two ago? Fear with Mark Wahlberg.

Yeah. He hung the roller coaster, right? This is like fear but in a swimming pool. Yeah. And the next movie is going to be the nun too in a swimming pool, Pedro. Oh, yeah, right on there. God, Jesus. Are they allowed to swim in their penguin suit?

Penguins swim, don't they? Are they allowed to have full-blown, like, Aquaman scenes in the swimming pool? like night swim? Or people just say a misnomer, a nature misdomer. Are penguins at the North Pole or the South Pole? I think penguins are at the South and Polaroos are in North, right? They're in Florida, Lance. How about that?

Probably in the zoo down the street I could find them. Now you have everything down the street. Where do you live at? Jesus Christ. There was a zoo down the street. I have a theater with a rocket launch. It's a geographic identity. Yeah, it's crazy. Two weeks away from everything.

All right. Lance, do you watch this one? No. Well, look, all right, in my defense, in my defense, this movie is on Stars, okay? So I go into my Apple TV, right? And I try to pull up the Stars app, right? And it says, you must update your payment method for purchasing through Apple TV. So I go in there and I put my credit card info in.

And then all of a sudden, I look back and I say, wait a minute, wait a minute, I was about to hit Sand. and I was like my grandkids pulled all these fucking Roblox bullshit up and what's that other game? Fortnite, Philip? This is a long explanation for you. I've got this long list of charges waiting to go through on my Apple account. So I'm like, I've got to tie a fucking credit card to that. They're going to come after you now. Yeah, I didn't see it.

So, oh, hold on. I think, is it Steve Jobs is knocking at the thing? door, is that the Apple guy? A ghost. It's all right. The ghost of sea jobs. Oh, shit. Scary your movie, this one, fan.

Okay. Brian, what was your score on this one? This is a two. We don't hear many twos from Brian. There's, acting is mediocre.

You watch these movies because you want to watch her fucking lose her shit. And everybody, everything she does, you can call it out before it happens. Oh, yeah. And even the things that does happen, you're like, well, how the fuck did that happen? That couldn't even possibly have happened.

Yeah. Yeah, too. I'm going to go, I'm going to go four. I didn't hate it as much as you did. Well, everyone has to fucking one-up everybody on his score, Pedro. Well, four still shit, so. Every, every once in a while, I'm the last. man, but it's rare. It's rare. It's rare. Yeah. It was, it wasn't great. It wasn't awful. I don't plan on

watching again anytime soon, but if it comes on, you know. Yeah. It was no Thanksgiving, right? There was no Thanksgiving. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You all right, bro. All right. And we will move on to our new one, night swim. This is the big feature, Pedro. It needs a little work, but I don't think it's going to last long at this price.

There's a pool. I always wanted a pool. Is this everything? We'll grow into it. You all ready? Marco. Hello. Marco.

Mollo. I hear you A woman swimming in her pool at night is terrorized by an evening school Wait It's the first description ever That's just not what happens at all I don't think I was like one time in this film

Uh uh Is that the synopsis for this movie Of the short film? I think they cut and pasted the synopsis IMPD folks Don't don't shoot Don't shoot us We pull this stuff out of IMDB

and it's not always accurate. So bad description. But yeah, that's what the storyline says. It's probably a plot line. Yeah, it's probably a plotline for the short film because that's kind of not what happens here at all. Director is Bryce McGuire, also known for short films Baghead.

And soon you will be gone. For this movie. Maybe he directed it with a bag over his head. Oh, cool, fool, boom. Soon you will be gone and possibly eaten. That's the story of his career after this phone. Ouch. But he won't be possibly eating.

Unless he goes, maybe they should give him the Scream 7 job. See how he does it. They should put it on the table as the Thanksgiving turkey. Like they did that with that girl in Thanksgiving, man. Yeah, that's a great scene. I loved it. Writers are Bryce McGuire with Rob, Rod Blackhurst, also known for Blood for Dust and Stone Debates. Jesus Christ.

Say that again? Stoned Debates. Okay, I don't believe you. Incredible. Let's look this up. What are the stone? Like porn titles. Stoned debates?

Are you kidding me right now? I think you already own it. That's me and Lance with his whole Thanksgiving talk right now. Stone debates. Yeah, watch Stone Debates. Funny or dying? Okay, so it was like an internet. Oh, this is a fucking Gen Z movie, Pedro.

God damn it. It's starting out as a fucking TikTok video. God damn it. That little Brad who couldn't hit the baseball, I knew exactly what I was watching. Oh, no. Give them that participation trophy right now. It's okay.

It's okay. It's not. Hit the fucking ball. It's good, bud. The real life house location used for the family home on screen doesn't actually fully connect to the garage. So the pool can be seen from the front yard. A facade was added to make it look like one full structure to block the pool from the view of the front of the house. This is the best trivia and description we can find for this fucking movie.

Oh my God. does not bode well. All right, Pedro, what would you think about night swim? I was fucking horrendous. It was the longest hour and a half of my life. This movie felt like it was 10 hours.

They didn't have enough story to warn the runtime, and it just dragged down. The middle section just goes on forever. They showed it took a turn there in the middle, huh? Yeah, I mean, oh, it's it.

We have to give you be a history lesson on the house. Yes, exactly. Now, I grew up very poor. I've never lived in a house it has a pool, but is that factual where you could have a pool just off of like a hot springs? I don't think so. Because the pool guy gave a whole history, like, oh, you're lucky. The hot springs, the natural hot springs are going to fill up the pool and it's going to give you like some filtering so you don't have to pay for it. And I mean, that's all fucking, what is it, Brian? the pool guy that they made you think was going to be an important character

and maybe come back in a movie that never does? What was the name of his pool cup, jaws pool cleaning or something like that? You paid attention to this movie a lot. I was going to say, I don't know. I probably did. I very vaguely remember the pool guy.

It looks definitely from a comedy sketch for sure. Yeah, so all the characters were underdeveloped, you didn't give a fuck about any of them, which really hurt the ending because that you're supposed to feel something. And to me, I'm just thinking, this family is fucking, they're dumb.

There's so many questions that were going through my head as I was watching this. But are we going to go into spoilers yet or not yet? Not yet. Not yet. Okay. Yeah, there's just so many things that there are. But there's not much to spoil, right? There isn't. This movie is so bland.

Yeah. And it's just so by the numbers, you know, that there's really not much to spoil here. just nothing happens you know we're supposed to feel for this guy played by wire russell who sounds more and more like his dad as he gets older which is kind of creeping me out um really yeah i kind of appreciate that well it's cool i mean it is cool but it's still like it's not curt you know and it's weird um because he does have the same voice almost uh so yeah so this guy has um is it ms it's ms right we could score it i think that that's in the trailer and yeah that's early early on yeah and so

Yeah, it's just, you know, he, the pool kind of brings them back. And you get a lot of the shining vibes, right? Do you guys get, like, I was kind of hyped up. A little bit. Now that you mention it. They're saying there's some shining vibes a little bit. So I'm into it. I got Amityville horror.

Yeah. Oh, you would, Brian. The Amityville pool. Same thing, yeah. Well, no. You spoke it. It's happening now. Of course.

It's probably already out there, isn't it? None of the Amityville. shark lives. Yes, and the Avenue, Karen, and there's a bunch of Adamie, Avenue. Avenue. So, yeah, so pretty much we follow his character. The family has no chemistry with each other, by the way. You never, you never get a sense of how, like, how much of a loving family they are, how united they are. It just kind of, everybody kind of circles around Wire Russell's character, and we kind of see just the change. I don't want to get into spoilers yet, but we see a change once the pool gets introduced

and that's when you start seeing a lot of the more like hunting stuff happening, right? Sure, sure. And that's pretty much it. I mean, this movie fucking sucked. There's nothing else to be said about it. Thankfully, I'm a laylister and I don't have to pay for it. I mean, I do monthly.

Well, you do pay for it. Yeah, but. And your time. I'm going to hit up some matinees to make up for this, motherfucker. You got to right now. You got to carve up. Yeah. So, yeah, so I don't know.

It wasn't very good. What do you guys think about it? Lance, what do you think? I kind of enjoyed it. Oh, all right. I hate to say it, because I went into this movie just like fucking giggling, just like jumping up and down, like grinning like a little school child. Like, I can't wait to shit on this fucking movie.

I can't wait to shit on this fucking movie. And then I get into the theater, I'm like, holy fuck, is that White Russell? Is that Carrie Condon for B. Anches of Inichiren? So you're saying, Okay, okay, my family came out. So you're saying if Wyatt Russell was in Thanksgiving, you would have been a little more kind to it.

Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. Really? Okay, no, let me get, let me get into the reasons that I kind of like this movie. I actually thought the family chemistry was pretty good. I actually bought in to them. Okay, I did.

I bought into them being a family. I bought into what they went through. I like the way, like, yeah, I don't even think about the shy. angle until you mentioned it. But I did like that part in the pool where they said, let's go, let's go see what we can do about steroid Shrek over there.

And then he's holding the kids' legs. I thought that was kind of sinister. And I... Why? Yeah, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it more than I thought I was going to. So I'm not saying it's like going to be on the top 10 list or anything like that.

But for the first movie out in January, I'd like it more than... It was up there with the devil conspiracy, man. You know what? No, it wasn't that bad at all, dude. You're way out of line, Pedro. Was the spirit also spraying Sanax throughout the house? Because they were all sleepwalking to his entire performance.

I'll tell you that, right? Like, you know, the only one that showed them live was that little kid that wanted to get his dick went. When he's making out with the daughter, he's got a boat because the parents could be. Yes. Oh, the guy, the guy from the Christian swim team. all right so i i i i guess my review is i did not hate this movie although i really really wanted to all right brian what do you think jesus this movie is the epitome of january horror dump month oh january horror is back uh uh it's never left if this is what this is what we can expect

from the Blumhouse Atomic Monster James Wan merger This was one of those Boyd that whole contract right now Because this is This is one of the worst movies I've seen in a while Ouch That says a lot

Wow Yeah There's nothing to even spoil About this movie And I don't see what you The connection between the family They seem like they only just met When they got the casting

For this movie They're all supposed to rally behind their dad who has MS. Right. And I don't even feel like they even like each other. They don't even like each other. I will say why Russell, he did give me the feel of a baseball player. He had to look to me. I will say that.

So that's one thing. But here's the thing, though. Like, he's supposed to be this big shot baseball player from the Brewer. Is he because they mention that he gets traded a whole bunch? Yeah, see, I was thinking that too about the money, but there's a lot of baseball players that don't make what you think they'd make, you know? Well, everybody, everybody reacts to him like he's his big major leaguer, but they also make it seem like he's been traded more times that he can even bring up.

Yeah, I want to hear that story, right? I just, I don't, then when they get into the history of the house, I'm just like, I don't care. Oh, my God. And then the kid comes off as like an entitled little Brad. Like, come on, get it together, dude, you're young. Can I hit a baseball and he gets depressed? Come on. So we just did a show, Pedro, with our bottom 10 movies of the year.

And Brian just said, and I quote, this is the worst movie I've seen in a very long time. enough said to quit Stan Lee, right? A lot of hyperbole there, but I get it. I just, I just, I don't know. I'm struggling to even find anything positive to say about this movie. We haven't talked about the random Asian lady who has all the story in the middle of the movie and then vanishes again. And the sad thing is you can actually spoil it all, because none of it is really a spoiler, right? And I would have, I would have loved, like, Pedro brought up the Shining.

I brought up to Amityville Horror. If that stuff would have happened in this movie, it would have been 10 times. Yeah. Or even like tends to happen with these films. One of the more popular tropes is that this is like symbolism for this functional family, right? We see it all the time. We saw it with the witch.

We saw with the original Amity Horror. Sure. Where the family is dysfunctional and they're creating that evil. I could go with that because that works in a lot of ways. But this family just. They had no chemistry. They had no chemistry together, you know. Pedro, Pedro, you got to admit, when you saw that red title card come up, that that throwback style, you've got a little, your heart fluttered a little bit, right? I think that's when I was dozing off because I wasn't one of the refiners. And I've already said on this show that I've been having trouble as you hit your 40s to stay awake. And that doesn't do with the film. It's just getting harder and harder with those recliners. You know, you just kind of want to take a quick little nap. sure sure you're only human yeah i'm really struggling to find something like you brought up the scene

when he was holding the kid on his shoulders in the swimming pool and you felt like that was sinister well you know his eyes special effects of the black eyes i'm kind of stretching philip what do you think um i wanted to like this probably more than i did um i do you want to like this probably more than i did um i do I wanted to like. See, I wanted to hate it. You wanted to like it. I do like Wyatt Russell. I don't hate him in this movie. And I, like, the concept could be cool. And I don't even mind that they went back through the history of the house. I thought that that part was kind of like, you know, like the ring where they go on this investigation hunt or whatever. But it was only like. Or like smile. It was like taking a page out of that where she goes and meets the guy in prison, Brian. Yeah, but it was like 10 minutes worth of the movie, and it didn't really go anywhere. It was just... It just patted the runtime a little bit, I think. From an eight-minute short?

Yeah, you're trying to make an eight-minute short into a big movie. And I think that, you know, they could have maybe done some things differently and made it more scary. But the scares didn't really hit for me, you know? Like, it was... It wasn't a terribly creepy movie. I had hard time paying attention to it. But yeah, it's kind of just okay for me. Something tells me I'm going to be the high man of the totem pole tonight, guys.

All right, scores, Pedro. Oh, here we go. Oh, he might have walked off for a second. Yeah, I'm back. Oh, there he is. Okay. I'm back. I just got tired of Lance trying.

What's your score on this one, Pedro? I'm going to go two on ten. Two. Atrocious, atrocious piece of filmmaking. This will be on some list. Wow. What do you think? Who's going to shoot me if I say six?

Six on ten. Oh, come on. All right. Six on ten. Is that a real? I had fun. I had fun watching it. I'm sorry. Guilty pleasure. I'm giddy. I'm in Florida. I'm giddy. I must be buying whatever these, all these dealers are selling here. I don't know how you could justify this, giving it a sixth on ten, and you hate Thanksgiving so much.

It's personal. It's got to be personal at this point. At this point. He's coming for you. Remake Thanksgiving with Wright, Russell, and come back and talk. How about that? Brian, what do you think? I guess I got to be that guy this episode. This is a one. I'd rather watch Swimpan again.

Wow. He'd rather watch Swim Fan again. Oh, wow. No, Lance is that guy this time. Just to be a true. Yeah, six on ten. Just to be a contrarian. Yeah, six on ten, absolutely.

It was a fun little watch. I'm gonna go. You can't, you don't believe that. Because you can't even keep a straight face when you say that. Look at you. No, I mean, come on, man. You know, it wasn't. You're talking about the, the, the, the, the chicken fight with the Shrek looking guy.

That was the highlight for you. That was it. That was the highlight of the movie. Absolute highlight. Why do they all fucking leave the house, man? That was an awkward, awkward scene. And they didn't even clean up. many ways, right?

No, they didn't. I noticed that, too. They left all that trash. Oh, man, those rude motherfuckers, shit. You know those trash cans around, too? I'm gonna go... Probably lots of them.

For the way y'all are scoring this movie. I'm gonna give it a four. I think it was as good as swim pan. Ah, okay. Not bad. Not saying much, but six on ten, I can't believe it. Six on ten.

10. All right, Lance is the high man on this one. Yeah. Uh, starting to year off strong. All right. Not much to spoil, West here. This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. You've been fucking warned. This is a motherfucking spoiler alert.

You've been fucking warned. This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. You've been fucking warned. All I got to say is, why couldn't all the, I got to use one of your words, Lance. Sinister quote unquote stuff happen. when he originally fell into the pool. Okay. Why did it take almost an hour for the entity or demon or whatever to enter his body?

It should have happened when he fell into the pool and got trapped in the tart. Came out to pool, evil, talking about we need to purchase this house now. It's ours. And then every time, no, I'm rewriting a movie right now. Oh, okay. And then every time somebody tried to give somebody. kind of information, they die in horrific ways. Like, the first person that should have died was the realtor.

Oh, that would have been great. None of that happened. Can I change my score? Because I like Brian so much better. No, you locked in. Lance, I want you to explain this to me, Lance. How do you, in the third act, they're inside of the pool in the water for at least five minutes. Easily, easily.

Yeah, like going into an altered dimension. Kind of like the elevator game. The wife is juke and jiving with the little brat on her arm. Sure. Like nothing, there's no consequences to that. That kid was dead before she ever got to him.

That kid was gone. And she should have been dead too. That's the matter of that. That was the best acting that kid did when he was dead. So maybe the entire third act was all playing out in White Russell's mind. No, I don't believe that.

Because then he wouldn't have killed himself at the end. Of course not. And then, like, although I did like that. Did he kill himself, or did he just, quote-unquote, go missing and just, we'll just never explain the so-called all-star baseball player that disappeared.

Like, an ex-lives episode. Like, nobody questions that. The guy vanishes. Nobody questions the wife. Nobody questions the kid. It just, the movie just ends. I guess, I guess they don't want nobody else to, like, inherit that house. Yeah, your, your, your husband's missing. why are you covering

why are you filling the pool in with dirt that's the movie that I want to see not whatever we saw before that but the sequel Pedro the sequel no fuck that and then like the the gassy flaccity thing that was coming out like the black goo

or whatever it was yes yes come on that was ridiculous absolute genius what about the Asian lady with the oxygen mask who comes in for two minutes just to tell us because we're dummies. We don't know what's going on in this movie, so Hollywood has to over-explain everything. That was fucking horrible. And then they tease

that the whole water is quote-unquote sinister because she puts herself a glass of water, and they focus on the fucking water. Yeah. I am not, Shyamalan eats your heart out, right? I mean, is it, am I watching final destination where the water is going to kill this Asian lady right now? Like, I don't know what's going on. Like, talk to me here. You know? There's just so many points where he... It should have been Wyatt Russell

just fucking losing his shit throughout the fucking whole movie. Just... Like when the guy kind of strikes him out. Well, that's cut him. He should have, like, hit one right back at him and... Yeah, line's right to his face.

That would have been great. Just his face mangled and destroyed with all practical effects. All the kids screaming and crying, and he's got to use it again, Lance. Just got a sinister look on his face. There's a scene where they start playing Tuggle War with the little handle that lays out the tarp. And it's two humans and they cannot beat this ghost.

So they're playing Tuggle War with this fucking... That's a strong ghost, Pedro. Oh, come on. That's the ghost of the machine, man. Come on. They did. They played it up a lot with this kid. even when they're putting the tarp over the pool and he's cranking it.

He's like, come on, son, you can do it. Another turn, never give up. Yes. Never give up, never surrender. And he still gets a participation trophy, though. He's a Gen Cere, and that's what they all get. Yeah, and I'm going to get this maybe a participation trophy, Pedro. Yeah, you give six of them.

I did kind of like the end, though, where he, like, sacrificed himself for the family. I think that was... I mean, I didn't necessarily like the way that they did it, but I liked the concept. Kind of seemed like nobody cared. But then I know. Why didn't they five minutes go after him?

That's what I'm saying. Where did Dad go? Who was going to be the sacrifice? I mean, this movie would have gone on three, four fucking hours, guys. Come on. You already bitching that it was more than an eight minute short. Fuck. The son could have...

He was already taken. Here, take three. No, and then... And then the mom jipson, no, take me. And then the dad pulls her out. And he's like, no, take me. And then the daughter goes, oh, take the Christian swimming boy. Here he is.

If you want to up the suspense, you could have at least had somebody show some kind of emotion towards the dad going instead of the wife. The wife, calmly watching him walk into the pool. And then one of the kids say, where did dad go? He didn't even say, I love you. He just went into the pool. He was reading it off. He was reading it off a cue. where did dad go?

Ay, aye, y'all. You guys are brutal. No, we're not, bro. We're being fair, as a matter of fact. We're not brutal. And then they cover up the pool, and then this is what Dad would have wanted. No, it's not.

Even though he's in the pool somewhere. Like, we're never going to find out because the cops don't care. The wife just got away with murder, and they're not going to ask anything. Literally. Because Pedro, if I'm not mistaken, they, they, They believe the little girl from the beginning is still in the pool. Yes.

So, well, let's not try to figure out how to get these people out of this other dimensional pool. Maybe they're in the red door. Who knows? Maybe they're behind the red door. You'll merge them. Where's Patrick? Ever and ever and ever? I mean, eventually don't the cops get suspicious when people keep disappearing from the same house?

Yeah. Apparently, not. You're thinking too much. to it, man. Oh, don't go using that one. I'm going to using that excuse now. Wait a minute. Maybe this movie does tie in with the Shining Pedro. The twins are probably in there somewhere, you know?

Well, that would have helped this movie a little bit. You think so? It's been making an unofficial sequel. So why Russell disappears for a big part of the film? Right. When Kerry Condon is trying to, you know, finagle with the pool and playing tug of war with the little handle. And then when he appears, he's got like black goo on his eyes.

Like, like, he's completely gone by that point. Right. What happened to that scene? Like, you know, you don't have enough story, but the story that we want to see. It's the cutting room floor. God damn it. So anyways, one on ten. I just, one on ten.

It just, well, this is a preview. Yeah, preview of our show with you one year from now, for sure. Yeah, we'll see if it still hangs in there. It's a long year, so we'll see. It is a long year. It might be a rough one if this is any indication, huh? I just don't see how anything's going to be worse than this for a while. It was a bad movie.

Careful what you say, right, Brian? Yeah, and I know a lot of movies will try to, like, hide bad CGI by putting it in the dark, and this one does it by putting it in the dark underwater. Oh, devil. And it's still bad. Christian Swim Club. All right, Pedro, thanks for joining, man. You got anything going on?

You want to camp? No, that's it. Thank you guys for having me. Always fun to do these shows with you guys. Always fun, and we'll try to get you on for our Behind the Red Door episode this year. I actually, we already did, so we'll try to get you on for a good movie this year. How about that? Well, actually, the next time I usually come on is for the March Madness, you know.

Oh, no. Oh, yeah, I guess we got to think about that. And before you know it, it's right around the corner, believe it or not. So you guys got to get thinking of what tournament you guys are going to have this year. March Madness may be a little different this year if it all comes together. We'll see what happens. But we'll keep it in mind. I'll talk to you off air.

Okay. We're trying to get something done. We'll see what happens. But you know you're welcome back anytime, of course. Yeah, thank you. And as always, we want to thank you guys for listening to the episode of The Pool Boy Returns. We'd love to hear your feedback and ideas. It's a whole different kind of movie.

Let me get, see, fixes the pool. Fixes other things. And delivers pizza. All right, check us out at thehorror returns.com. Send us an email at the horror returns and gmail.com. Follow all of our Gen Z social links. Next week, are you ready to rock, Philip? Yeah, I guess so.

What are we doing? Check out the brand new Destroy All Neighbors, as well as the classic heavy metal masterpiece, Rock and Roll Nightmare! All right. That's going to be awesome. So, Pedro, until the horror returns again. Good night.

You know, one. I don't know. You know,