The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #4: Jaws (1975) & The Shallows (2016) (Reupload)

Episode Date: April 6, 2021

This week, we bring you a review of the brand new Blake Lively film, "The Shallows." We also go back for a discussion of the classic "Jaws." You may want to stay out of the water, chill on the beach, and just listen to the podcast. Don't say we didn't warn you...Also discussions of "Game of Thrones," "Slasher," and "World of Warcraft." Let's hit the beach! The Horror Returns Website: https://thehorrorreturns.com THR YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/@thehorrorreturnspodcast3277 THR Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thehorrorreturns THR Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thehorrorreturns/ Join THR Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1056143707851246 THR X: https://twitter.com/horror_returns?s=21&t=XKcrrOBZ7mzjwJY0ZJWrGA THR Instagram: https://instagram.com/thehorrorreturns?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= THR TeePublic: https://www.teepublic.com/user/the-horror-returns SK8ER Nez Podcast Network: https://www.podbean.com/pu/pbblog-p3n57-c4166 E Society Spotify For Podcasters: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/esoc E Society YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCliC6x_a7p3kTV_0LC4S10A Music By: Steve Carleton Of The Geekz

Greetings, listeners. You have found the horror returns. For all of you who delight in dread, fantasize about fear and glorify gore, welcome home. This is the podcast that proves that the horror never ends. Each episode, we seek out a review a brand new horror movie or book. Then go back and find a classic work with similar themes, looking at both similarities and differences. Our goal here is to explore how our perceptions of fear remain the same from just. generation to generation, but also to point out how the presentation can change based on the social and

political climate of the times. Although we always do our best to avoid spoiling the new release, sometimes it may be necessary to talk about certain details during the course of our conversation. Now, we generally assume you guys have already seen the classic film, so there will often be spoilers when discussing anything that has been out for at least a year. The other thing we may do from time to time is use a few four-letter words. This is a horror podcast, and horror movies tend to be R-rated, so you can pretty much expect us to be, too. I'm Lance, and with me, as always, are my co-host, Brian and Philip. All right, so let's start out with a discussion of some of the highlights of what we've checked out this week.

Brian, you want to go first this time? Yeah, before I get to that, I just... want to say, RIP to Anton Yelchin. That was really tragic what happened to him. We were just talking about that. Yeah, that's crazy, right? Yeah, and it's really sad to find out that he,

that his cause of death was probably due to a factory recall on his vehicle. So what happened? He just, like, gets out of the car and it rolls back on top of it? Yeah, okay. From what I read, he pulled into his driveway, which is at an incline. He got out to check his mail, which is, I believe they said it was like a brick mailbox connected to the gate. And then his car just rolled back and pinned him up against the mailbox. That's insane, man.

Yeah, and they're saying that he had one of those Jeep Cherokees, and I guess there was a factory recall on something on the car. So he might a-c motherfucker in park? Yeah, he might have got, they said he might have got out thinking he put it in park. and it was still in neutral. That's crazy. Yeah. That's some fight club shit, right? That's what the guy did in Fight Club, right?

He did recalls, and then if the amount of damage or death or whatever didn't result in more than it would cost for the recall, then they wouldn't do it. Yeah, so I just wanted to give a little RIP to him. He was a phenomenal actor. Oh, yeah. I like that guy, man, a lot. Alpha dog He was really good Yeah he started an alpha dog

Right wasn't that his first big role That's the first one I remember him in Yeah Obviously I know him a lot for Star Trek Right But I thought he was I thought he was really really good In the Fright Night remake

Yes absolutely He was kind of one of the best parts of that movie actually Yeah Because the rest of that movie wasn't awesome It definitely wasn't the original That's for sure Yeah But I just wanted to say something about that.

Yeah, man, good call. Because he was a good actor, man, and he died way too soon. I think he could have been big eventually. You know what I mean? I mean, he was already in the Star Trek movies, and he was definitely gone places. Yes. Yeah, and he was in one of the newer horror movies that you were telling me about Brian, the Green Room. Yes, I am.

That is actually going to. be out on Blu-ray here in a couple weeks. I'm very interested in checking that one out. Got to check that out. So you got Chekhov and Captain Picard in it, right? Oh, yes. Going on to highlights of the week, I checked out a movie called The Gift. The Gift.

Ah, Joel Egerton. Yes, I believe he directed and wrote this movie, too. Jason Baton. Haven't seen it yet. I recommend it. I recommend it. It is not going to give anything away. It's a kind of rather new movie.

It's kind of a little thriller-type revenge movie. Yeah, I definitely call it more of a thriller than a horror. Yeah. I like it. It was enjoyable to watch. I mean, it wasn't super special, but hey, it was different for Jason Bateman. Absolutely, absolutely. So you've seen it too, then?

Yeah, I saw it in the theaters, actually. Oh, cool. Yeah, I haven't. I haven't seen this one, guys. I've heard a lot of good stuff about it, though. Kind of surprised. I'm looking at IMDB a little bit surprised. He's not tagged to direct anything else at this point.

Because I understand he did a pretty damn good job. Yeah, I would say so. Yeah, I got a lot of buzz when it came out. And besides that, I'm caught up on preacher. Mm-hmm. Love and preacher. Yeah. You like it?

Yes. I'm digging the preacher. caught up on the outcast still loving that show yeah i recommend it if you're into like demonic possession type of shows and yeah and it uh stars uh the kid from uh almost famous if you ever seen that yeah yeah yeah you mentioned that dude i still haven't uh gotten around to checking it out yet yeah okay always and uh finally finished american horror story hotel oh lucky you I haven't watched it at all, man. I need to watch that one.

I don't recommend it. It was kind of all over the place and not in a typical American horror story way that makes it. The guy got it did all right, man. Yeah, I would say she's a welcome addition to the cast. Yeah? But everything else was just kind of jumbled together.

Oh, that sucks. Well, they put it up there, and I was thinking the Shining. Yeah, it had a little bit of the shining A little bit It was a mess Hopefully next season will be better From what I'm understanding It's going to have something to do with the opera

What? Yeah Oh boy We'll see how that goes I don't know man I feel like it's probably just going to keep going Further and further down at this point So is it going to be like American Horror Story

Meets Glee next season or what I don't know And there's no more Jessica Lang. She's officially done. Right. Which one is she? Oh, come on, man. She was the best part of like the first four seasons.

The older lady. Look, dude. The Southern male in season one. Oh, okay. Was she the one with the two heads? No. No. Oh, the older, older one.

Yes. Oh, I know who that is. Okay. Yeah, I think. I'm good. I'm sorry. Yeah, she's been wanting to retire. But.

I guess they kept giving her scripts that intrigued her, but I guess I think she might be almost fully retired from acting period. She's like, no, I'm done with this shit. That's about it. She was in the 70s version of King Kong. You guys remember that? Oh, yeah. Okay.

I know, yeah, yeah, yeah. Quite a bit younger then, but yeah, she was my favorite part of the first couple of seasons of American Horror Story. And I thought the first two seasons were genius. Yeah. And then I think the third fell off a little bit. Yeah. And I think it's been downhill from there.

That's just my opinion. Yeah, I agree with you. I can kind of agree, too, because I only saw three quarters of that circus season. I keep going to say psycho circus. You're talking about freak show. Go kiss. That season started good, but it just ended poorly. Yeah, it had some decent parts to it.

I kind of liked when Jessica Lang sang Life on Mars. I thought that was kind of an interesting take on that song, but yeah, not the best. Now, I do know one thing for sure. I know that Philip is dying to talk about his highlight for the week on television. Oh. I have to go Game of Thrones, brother. So you see last week's episode again. All right, look, by the time that this comes out, man, I know that the finale is already going to be there.

But, okay, the episode before the finale that happened last Sunday was a, Amazing. That's probably one of the most satisfying TV episodes I've seen ever. Are you talking about the Battle of the Bastards episode? The Bastards episode, The War of the Bards. Yes. It was. It was amazing. So you're caught up too, Brian? Yes, sir. All right, so we can talk.

If we're able to give spoilers on that or not, I mean, what's the rule? I think we can give some mild spoilers, you know? I mean, it's a TV show. It's a little different from a movie. It's been a week. out about getting the throne. What do you think, Brian? Let's let me, Brian. Brian, you can make the call, man.

It's, it's been a week. We can, we can put it out there. Done. It's been judged. Spoilers. Spoilers was out the night it came out anyway. Oh, no doubt. That's just kind of the kind of show it is, right?

I'm going to ask a question, right? Okay, who do you hate more, Ramsey or Joffrey? Oh. I don't know. That, that's a tough one. That is a tough one. I wish that, Joffrey had died the way that Ramsey did, although Ramsey was very fitting.

That was a pretty satisfying death. They were both pretty satisfying. Yeah, I might say I hate Ramsey more. You think so? After the feeding his baby brother to the dogs. Yeah, but he was at least dedicated to being evil, man. That guy was obviously evil. Joffrey was just a little shit, man.

I wanted to punch that little shit in the face. I think everybody did. I think it's especially Sansa. Hey, she's the one who's been through the most with these fuckers, huh? Oh, yeah, that was a good moment for Sansa, man. Oh. That whole episode was kick-ass. I was, like, really worried that John was going to die again.

Kind of looked that way from a while, didn't it? Yeah, I really thought he was. I was like, oh, no. Because, all right, I didn't see it the first night, and then I heard him talking about on the radio. Right. And they were trying not to give too much away, and they said a lot of death.

And I was like, Lots of carnage. Some giant-sized death scenes. There's not too many people more that can die. Yeah, I thought, I can't think of his name, the red-headed guy, the wildling. Yeah, I thought he was going to die. Oh, yeah. He came pretty close.

Yeah, I'm digging his little love story with Big Night. Oh, Briann. Yeah. Okay, so he looks at her and then she looks at him and then it looks like, she looks at the camera like she's in the office or some shit hey still about in twilight right and from what I've heard this is one of their

most expensive episodes yeah wouldn't surprise me too much I noticed that the pretty epic I looked up the director it was the same guy who directed that hard home episode that was that took place in all the ice with all of the white walkers attacking

oh that makes sense so very battle-oriented. Very much so. And that was probably my second favorite episode after this one, but this one took the crown. Well, this was very, like, in the middle of everything.

It was realistic, wasn't it? Yeah, it's the first episode that they've ever showed where they were in the middle of battle and showed, like, the stresses of actually being there and the piles of bodies that they had to climb over

and all that stuff, man. It was pretty epic. It wasn't. sugar-coded, was it? No, I was super impressed with this one, man. It had my attention the whole time. Because, okay, there's some games of Game of Thrones episodes where it gets a little slow. Right.

This was not one of them at all. Yeah, this was, I think we can all agree this is one of the greatest hours on television ever. Hell, yeah. Yep. For sure. Yeah, and that one continuous shot that they made that was just following him through the battle. and the camera didn't waver or a move and I really thought he was going to get crushed

That was really awesome Okay and then the other stuff I've been watching Because I'm not going to let you guys talk yet Pop Star I'm going to throw that in there, man Okay I guess you could consider that horror Okay it's not Lowly Highland did they definitely have some horror elements

Hey Give it a watch man It's not as bad as it looks that's probably a terrible review for it, but it wasn't a bad movie. It's super predictable and stuff, but it was funny, man. It was it was, it was, it was the nothing I think it's going to be. It called me crazy, but I like his other movie he had,

what was it, a hot rod. Oh, yeah, that was funny. So I think I might check it out. Man, I really like that guy. Have you ever watched Brooklyn Nine-N-N-9? Yeah, I've seen a few episodes. That's one of my favorite shows. Oh, what is... The big black dude from the Old Spice... Terry Cruz.

Terry Cruz. Oh, wow. I love that guy. Oh, I love that guy. I love anything that he does, and he's in Brooklyn 9-9. He is awesome. Yeah, but he's not the dude from the Old Spice commercials. Yeah, he is.

You're thinking of... Great, if I'm wrong, Brian, has Terry Cruz been in the Old Spice commercials? Yes. Yeah, he's in the... There's two different guys that are in it. I don't fucking remember that, guys. You got to have to pull it up on YouTube. All right.

He's also an incredible artist, by the way. No kidding. Yeah, he's playing the NFL and he would paint pictures of, like, he had a picture of Lennian Thomason that he sold him for like $3,000. What? Yeah, old LT. He went to TCEB. Hey, folks, this is, this is trivia.

This is trivia. You don't get anywhere else. It's a Brooklyn 9-9. I had no. No idea, man. Oh, horror show, but you didn't know. Sports and art. I can't think of any more new release stuff that I watched. All right, guys.

Well, this week I finished the TV show that I'd watched the premiere last week. It was called Slasher. Ah. The one that came on Chiller. Okay. So I do appreciate the fact that it was eight episodes. And toward the middle, they really got you interested in knowing what was going on because the murders in the show are based on the seven deadly sins.

So it's kind of like seven in a way or it's trying to be. But it takes a little bit from that. It takes a little bit from the Silence of the Lambs. It takes a little bit, believe it or not, from Room, the movie that came out last year. It just takes a little, you know, dib here and a dab there. But I would say having completed all eight episodes,

that an eight-episode TV series is definitely the wrong format for this story. Dude, that's the wrong format for any story. That shit pisses me off. When a series that I really enjoy is only six or eight episodes.

Oh, no, no, I love that part of it. It makes me insane. No, dude, I love the six, eight, 13 episode arcs. As a matter of fact, I won't watch anything else that's like 22 and 24 episodes anymore. Really? It's overkill.

But here's my point on this particular show. An hour and a half format for this story would have been perfect. Get the seven deadly sins. get the six murders out of the way pretty quick, like in the first hour, right? And then in the last half hour, you could build up to the seventh murder and the reveal.

Well, they did the reveal, not to spoil anything, but they did it pretty early. And so the way I would put it is this shows more than anything else anticlimactic. They ended up having a whole final episode where you kind of already knew who it was. I kept expecting a twist. The twist never materialized.

So anyway, not much to it. another movie I watched this week, which is a real classic, is a 1937 movie. Disney's first animated feature film, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. Why? Why? Why? I would insist that this... Let me bring to the judge and the jury that this is a horror film. Have you guys ever seen it? Those motherfucking dwarves are scary shit. Nah. The dwarves are great, dude. there's a scene where she's running through the woods

and all the trees are coming alive and grabbing at her all the animals eyes are lighting up in the forest and she's running and then you've got the evil queen that takes a potion and turns into like an old crone like a witch yeah yeah so yeah I mean I don't know how the fuck kids can watch this thing without shit in their pants

good point anyway it's it's a classic I enjoyed it my three-year-old was watching Jaws with me yesterday so What do you know about kids' minds, man? Kids love it, man. All right, as with every show, it's time to take a little trip to the trailer part. We take a look at the big, the small,

and sometimes the very, very weird. Brian, what's our first new trailer to talk about this week? We're going to talk about before I wake. Did you guys get a chance to check this one out? I only have one thing to say about this. What's that? One, two, Freddy's comment. for you.

Little too close for me, guys. A little too close for me. I can see that. The dream stuff actually has me a little intrigued because you can kind of go anywhere with that kind of stuff. That's true. And it is by, I believe it's directed by Mike Flanagan.

You guys ever seen Oculus? Oh, yeah, I liked Oculus. I really liked Oculus, yeah. And he also did Hush. Okay. I don't think I don't think I've seen Hush. Yeah, Hush wasn't too bad.

That was the direct to Netflix movie that came out last month. Oh. Okay. It's about the deaf, was it a deaf girl or a blind girl? See how well I remember it, huh? It's a deaf girl. It's pretty, it's it. I'll check, I recommend it to people to check out.

It's, it's, okay, so the kid that goes to sleep and has the dreams in the trailer looks a whole hell of a lot like my five-year-old son and it scares me a little bit. You did mention that. I kind of want to just watch it for that because I like being scared and why not be scared of your own children? Yeah, the only thing that has me a little leery about this one,

this movie was supposed to come out last year. Oh, well, that's not necessarily a bad thing, man. If they pushed it back a year, maybe they put a bunch of extra shit into it, you know what I mean? and said, hey, it's not ready yet. Let's make it right before we put it out. Yeah, this movie is supposed to come out September 9th. Okay, that's doable.

And the next trailer is The Woods. The Woods! I saw that trailer, man. It was... Can you tell me what's going on? No, not a chance. Okay, when you first sent us that trailer over to watch, I thought, I've seen this movie.

Isn't that that chick from, I don't know what the hell else she's been in? But I was thinking the forest. Yes. I mean, because, you know, the woods of the forest, right? Same thing. Okay, so we went back and watched the Woods trailer. It was the wrong trailer because it was from like 2006. Yeah, there was a movie from 2006 called The Woods, Brian.

You fucked with us, dude. And then we watched the new trailer. And then there's another movie called The Forest. God damn it, dude. Fucking thing. Well, you shouldn't be so, guys. damn babe. Anyways.

So we start watching the trailer, right? And it looks super epic, right? And it says, you know, the best horror movies since blah, blah, blah. And even Jimmy O had a quote on there from Joe Blow. Yes, I've seen that. These big scenic swoops in from like the mountains and the woods. And I'm thinking, this probably should have been called the mountains. And then they had the police song in the background, the remake of the police song.

A remake of a police song, and the only line that you recognized was from the chorus. Right. Sure. It looks like it is going to be super cool, but I'm very skeptical of it. They're building it up so much. I don't expect it to be much. Yeah, this is from director Adam Wingard. He directed...

Oh, no shit! You're next and the guest? Have you seen any of these movies? Dude's good. I've seen everything he's done, man. What is he? Even the anthologies that he's done part of. The most recent one was called The Guest.

Yes, I love that movie. Does he really come back from the military with their son, or does he just pretend that he was in service with him? I think he was. I think he was. And he's got water loose. And basically he got reprogramed. Well, it's over a year.

I can spoil it. He got reprogramed by a section of the government to be a killing. machine. It was a great movie. Okay. So he's done some good stuff. Yeah, I love Adam Wingard. Absolutely. Okay. He's directing that I'm in, man. Yeah, I also loved his other movie, Your Next.

Yeah, your next was great. You remember that one? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've definitely seen that one. That was kind of like turning the tables on the killers. Because it was like every horror movie that you see and you're like, no, no, no, don't do that. That's stupid. And this chick is like... Absolutely, man. Yeah, I'm not doing that. That's stupid. I'm going to stab you in the eye instead.

Yeah, and from what I understand, that's really close to a film called The Aggression Scale. I've never seen it. Have you guys heard of that one? No. Yeah, the aggression scale, apparently that has, you know, kind of a similar, you know, kind of like home alone gone amok. Yeah? Yeah, where the guy kind of sets up traps in the house and stuff like that. But I think Wingard did it a lot better in your knacks for sure.

Oh, yeah. Horror movie. history right there. Yeah, this movie is also coming out in September, I believe, September 16th. That's probably a good time getting a little closer to Halloween. Well, dude, you change my mind on air. Oh, watch it. Yeah, we're checking. I mean, how much can you get from a teaser trailer? That's the other thing. It's only a minute and a half long.

It's not like it really matters anyway. And now it's time for horror headlines brought to you by Brian. Brian, what's the, what's in the news this week, my friend? Okay. First, up. We're going to talk about, you guys heard that Universal is bringing back their original monsters. How much have we heard this? I've been hearing it like every week for the last three years. Yes, they're trying to do... I think I know where this is going. Is this going to be kind of a rocky story or what? Yeah, we're going to get in a little bit of that. They're trying to build

like a, kind of how Marvel has their universe, their little cinematic universe, but they're trying to do that with their classic monsters and you're right on the nose there. They want the rock in the Wolfman movie. They want the rock and the Wolfman. If they can get him, why not? Okay, hang on. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Define classic monsters. Wolfman, Frankenstein, Dracula, the mummy. Very cool. Invisible Man. Okay. I'm down to that. From what I have found out, rumor to be in the Invisible Man is Johnny Depp.

man johnny depp has had some he's had a long shelf life hasn't he like he's he's cool when he's on but when he's not on man it's bad Tom cruise is confirmed to be in the mummy uh well they're definitely spending some money well that kind of makes sense because

you know he's he may as well be a mummy anyway he's not the actual mummy uh they're actually going a different direction with that what um have you guys have you I've seen Kingsman. Of course. The actress, I'm probably going to say her name wrong, I apologize. Sophia Bautella.

Okay. Sounds close. Sam Jackson's henchman, the one with the legs. Sure. She's actually going to be the mummy. Okay. What? Yes.

I don't know what to think about that. I just keep thinking about her in Kingsman. Yeah, she was brilliant and that. I'm sure she can handle it. any role, but that's, that is kind of odd. I'm gonna, I'm gonna save my judgment until, because she's gonna be in the new Star Trek movie. That's right, that's right.

In heavy makeup, just like Idris Elba, right? Yes. Well, Star Trek, heavy makeup, that's kind of how you work. That's true. That's true. How do you guys feel about this whole shared universe with the monsters? Dude, I'm getting sick of hearing about it, to be honest with you.

I mean, I heard about it when they did. Dracula unbound or whatever the hell it was. Didn't that have one of the Hemsley brothers in it or something? Or am I thinking he was? I can't think of his name. I don't like he's anybody big. Yeah, I just know that they, I can tell you this, I listen to quite a few horror podcasts,

and I've heard this bandied about for the last three years. No lie. Man, so I'm just tired of wait and just fucking either do it or don't do it, you know? I'm going to be, I'm going to play every guy here and say that, This is the first time I heard it because it is. And I think that it sounds kind of cool. It's different. Hey, it sounded really cool to me three years ago.

Three years ago. Once they actually make it happen. I mean, if they'd get the shit off the ground, I, yeah. I mean, guys, obviously we're all going to go see the movies. Let's have you to be kidding. Right. Yeah. But do I want to see it?

I mean, yeah, I'd like to see it take a chance. I love all universal movies. Yeah, I don't mind the shared universe or the best. big stars in it. I just, I just don't want a shitty movie. Right. There you go, man. Yes. Like the last Wolfman movie would, uh, who was it, uh, Benicio del Toro?

Yeah, man. And I really like Benicio Polaro. I was super disappointed in that one. Wow. I was, I was really excited about that too, man. I went and saw it in theaters and I was like, and, uh, I think, uh, what was it, uh, what was the Dracula unbound,

Dracula untold, whatever it was. Whatever it was, man. I, There was nothing about that movie that made me want to go watch it. Okay, so I saw that one, and I thought that I put that in the same category as like a Van Helsing or something along those lines. It was going to be like action horror type of. Was he a superhero in that movie? Pretty much. Yeah, kind of that sort of thing.

And that's where I put it before I watched it. And now, I didn't pay money for it. okay right this was that makes that makes a difference maybe i watched it on demand i don't know but i watched it on demand all by myself and that's what i had in in my mind when i watched it and i was like okay this is enjoyable to watch yeah i looked it up guys uh luke evans is who played dracula so yeah that's why i got them confused with the fucking hensley brothers because they're all just about they they look exactly the same not one of them can fucking act they're just there for eye candy for the wives when we go to the movies.

Fuck you, Thor would whoop your ass. But there were a couple of talented actors in this movie. Dominic Cooper, you're a preacher fan, Brian, and Charles Dance from Game of Thrones. Okay. So, you know, it looked like they had some pretty good talent

in there was. Which dude from Game of Thrones? Because there's a lot of guys. Oh, he was the Lannister father. He was Tyrion's father that Tyrion shot him with a crossbow while he was sitting on the toilet. And Dominant Cooper is the main guy in preacher, right?

Yes. All right. He is the preacher. They had some actors in that one. They had some actors before they were actors. So it wasn't too bad, then. It wasn't good. But it wasn't bad.

Hey, that's going to end up on the DVD box art, huh? Yeah, moving on to the next item here. We're going to get another adaption from a comic book called Alistair Arcane and this is going to be directed by Eli Roth. Executive produced and starring. I'm out. I'm out.

Wait. Wait. Wait a minute. Executive produced and starring Jim Carrey. Guys, you guys finished a podcast on your own. I'm fucking going 10 miles down the road. I'm getting as far from this fucking shit as I can. Is he walking?

You've got to be kidding me. 10 miles is a long way. Not a fan of Eli Roth, I take it? Not lately. after the clown? Dude, it took more than just the clown to bring me down. I got a little synopsis

for the movie, and it is a Los Angeles weatherman named Alistair Green, who returns to his hometown to host a midnight horror show a la Elvira. And that's Jim Carrey? Yes.

Under the... It just shoot me now. Hey, that's a big name, man. That'll bring some... That'll bring some audience there. Just Jim Carrey. I'll watch that. Under the guise of mad scientists named Alice Arcan, Green performed little skits until the local sponsors balked at the gore.

An incident with two kids leads to him being put on trial, breaking his spirit and into an early grave. Not long after grisly activities begin to occur, and only the kids have the power to tort. the court, excuse me, curse he has laid upon their town. Jim Carrey in a horror movie. Yeah. Number 23 was kick-ass. I was thinking about that movie. Oh, fuck, dude.

I was just about to say, I liked it. Am I the only motherfucker in this podcast that has seen the fucking atrocity called the number 23? I've seen it. Wow. He plays a great psycho-momatic.

Oh, wow, dude. Okay, then you're, this is custom-made for you, Philip. Oh, Philip. Phillips already bought his ticket, dude. While we were sitting here, he just went online and bought his ticket. I'm going to do it. I'm watching it. I'm a little intrigued a little bit.

Not so much to Eli Roth, because, you know, as you heard my review of clown, and also I was disappointed in the Green Inferno. I want to see Jim Carrey make a comeback in some way. And from what I understand, this is going to be, have elements of comedy in it, too. Well, anything he does is going to have some sort of elements of comedy. He's just so over the top for everything. Like, I really love Jim Carrey. I feel like he would bug this shit out of me as a person, like if I knew him personally,

that I would be like, I can't be around this guy anymore. But if he does a movie, I think that he's good at that, man. I would totally watch him in a horror movie. I like the idea. Jim Carrey was great in living color. After that, not so much. Oh, come on. All right.

Come on, give me three or four good Jim Carrey movies. Come on. Ace Ventura. All right, I'll give you that one. I'll give you that one. I'll give you that one. Cable guy. Okay, cable guy.

All right, and I'm looking at the list here. Dumb and Dumber. Now we're just poking fun. The mask. Hey, Dumb and Dumber was pretty kick-ass. Yes, Dumb and Dumber was excellent. You're right. You're right. Lyer, liar, liar. Not too bad.

Yeah, liar, liar was breaking. Okay, you guys are right. You guys are right. Me, myself, and Irene. That was funny as well. I like that one. All right. So he's a great comedian, but how's he going to be in an Eli Roth movie? Well, you saw the Truman Show, man. That was a pretty damn good movie. The guy can be, okay, it's not horror, but he can be serious if he wants to be. And I really liked that movie, man. I was really impressed with it.

Because that was his first big attempt at, like, serious stuff. Right. And it was pretty well done. I would agree with you. All right, well, I might not be 10 miles away, guys. I might go walk 8 miles and hang out. Whatever you're wrong. Go 10 miles away and don't watch the movie. I mean, I agree with you the whole Eli Roth. Yeah, Eli Roth is, he's with me, he's hit or miss. A lot more misses than hits, but. Well, Jim Carrey's kind of hit or miss. Yeah, lately. I don't remember the last, last good movie I've seen. him in. It's been a while. Bruce Almighty was pretty good. Well, that was a long

fucking time ago. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. Kickass 2, he was horrible. Incredible Burt Wunderstone, he was horrible. Mr. Popper's Penguins, we won't even talk about that one. Okay, guys. I like him better than kick-ass too than I like him. Yes, man. Yes. Our final news item here

is, do you guys ever check out a movie called Steakland? Absolutely. Dude, I loved it. No, I haven't. I have... It's a really, really cool vampire movie. It's kind of like the vampire's on me hybrid. Is it on Netflix? I'm not really sure, but I will find out while you guys talk.

I really wanted to watch it. I haven't seen it yet. Yeah, if you enjoy The Walking Dead, it's essentially the Walking Dead with vampires. Okay. It's excellent, dude. Hey, Brian, what do you think about that? This is my favorite show. Brian, you like that scene with a helicopter?

Yes. I never see that one. before. It is on Netflix. All right, boys and girls, anybody listen to the podcast, Stakeland, on Netflix. Hey, we need to do a horror movies on Netflix show, by the way. I'm down.

Yes. I'm down. I'm down. Yeah, yeah. I wanted to watch it a couple of times, and I haven't actually hit the button to say play. Yes. Filming has wrapped for the sequel to Stakeland called The Steaklander. It was actually filmed in secret.

It came to a surprise when it announced that it was a filming had rapped because nobody knew there was going to be a sequel to it. So I'm definitely interested in checking this one out and it is going to premiere on the sci-fi channel.

Cool. That's not a... That's not the ideal format. At least it's going to be on there. But then again, have you guys seen the expanse? The newest show on the sci-fi channel? I've heard a lot of things about it.

Dude, yeah, I actually watched the full season in under a week. It's excellent. I'm going to tell you, my mom. I love a lot of shit on sci-fi. Well, they say that 12 Monkees show is pretty good, too. I haven't seen it. I haven't either.

First season was pretty good. Yeah? I haven't checked any of the new season out. The movie's one of my favorite. Stakeland, yeah, it's going to premiere on sci-fi. There's no date and time yet. But from what I understand, everybody that was involved in the first one

was involved in the second one. Even Nick Demichie, the guy that played father? I have to check that one out. I don't see how he couldn't be. Oh, I did see that. You have seen Stakeland? Oh, man, I just got to ring a bell, huh? Yeah, you did.

I was, I probably was super job. You remember when the guys dropped all the zombie vampires out of the helicopter on the people that were all in that little village? Remember, weren't they having like a little dance? Like, it kind of like, kind of reminded me of a Wild West show or something. That's right, because they didn't kill that jackass guy when they had the opportunity. Okay, I think we've all seen it, Brian. That's what happens when you don't kill the bad guy when you have the opportunity.

Lesson Learn, take note, just in case. Right. So other than that, that's all the news I have for this week. And now on tonight's featured attractions, we start with a review and the discussion of the shallows starring Blake lively, and then we review the original movie that kept audiences out of the water for years, Jaws. So we'll start out with trivia and information about the shallows.

We talk about the director and the writer, and then we go into trivia topics. Director was, I'm going to probably destroy this name, but I'm going to do my best. Jomey Colette Serra. Also known for House of Wax. We just can't seem to get away from this movie,

can we, guys? Also, Orphan, which I thought was pretty good. And most of the film in the last three years starring Liam Neeson. A writer is Anthony Jaswinsky, known for killing time of vanishing on 7th Street and

Christie. This movie was originally titled In the Deep. Louis Le Terrier was originally set to direct but exited the film due to creative differences and the reduction of previously told budget. The screenplay for this film was featured in the 2014 Blacklist.

You guys ever heard of the Blacklist? Yes, I have. The Blacklist is a list of the most liked Unmade scripts of the year Oh So you know It's not what I thought it would be in all Yeah it definitely yeah

No kidding With a name like the blacklist You would kind of think it was the opposite But uh you guys mind if I kind of start with this one Yeah go ahead I would say my description of this film overall Is pleasantly surprised I was not expecting the movie that I saw

And I'm not really sure if it had to do more with Blake Lively's acting or if it had to do more with the script. If it was on the blacklist, obviously it had to be pretty good. The camera work was pretty good, and I like some of the things that they did when she was on social media and on her cell phone. I kind of liked the way that they filmed that. I hadn't really seen it done that way before in a movie,

but I thought it worked pretty well. I liked the photography from the beginning. In my opinion, there was quite a bit of tension throughout the movie. She definitely sold it for me. I think really most of it comes down to her acting. And I don't know why I was being so hard on her. I don't know if it was because she was on Gossip Girl or if it was because she really hadn't been in that many feature films.

But after watching this one, I kind of looked up her career a little bit more. And she had been in a pretty damn good movie last year called The Age of Adeline. You guys seen that one? I've heard about it. Oh, I hated that movie. A lot of people do. A lot of people do. But I liked it.

I liked it. I thought she did pretty well. What's that? Was it better than Green Lantern? Well, I would say so for sure. That was the one I kept thinking of when I was... That's why I was kind of dreading going into the water on this movie, Green Lantern. I'll watch Green Lantern again.

I don't want to watch Asia Van der Leyen. I didn't like that movie at all. Well, I thought she did a pretty good job. And I also thought that the makeup work was good. It made her look pretty... By the time she had been on that rock all day long and the sun was shining on her, I thought they did pretty well with making her lips look chapped and making her face look like she was sunburned and she was in a whole lot of pain.

I thought that when she injured her leg, it looked pretty realistic. And basically the first two-thirds of the movie were pretty entertaining by my standards. As it got further on, it got more and more unbelievable, particularly when she swam out to the buoy, which I kind of like the scene. of how she counted 30 seconds for the shark going around the rock and then finally made her way over there. I thought that was pretty neat.

Spoiler alert. But I didn't really think that I think once she got over there they kind of overdid certain aspects of it a little too much. Yeah. You don't have a comment somewhere. Yeah, for sure, for sure.

But I found the first two-thirds of the movie to be pretty believable, very suspenseful, a lot more well-acted than I was expecting. And not too poorly filmed. What did you think, Brian? Okay. This is when I wish we did a spoiler podcast. I had quite a few problems with this movie.

The first part of the movie, I thought I was watching the sequel to Blue Crush. Okay. I don't know. I mean, she was good in it. I'll give you that. I don't know. It was the whole. the whole thing with the father on Skype and everything.

I kind of just threw it off for me. And I wanted more suspense, more action, something. You know, what we got at the end was also a problem for me. I don't want to spoil it, but it was the most fantastical, amazing conclusion. Dude, I had a problem with that, too, man. I actually really, well, I'll let you finish, man. So I'm going to let you finish. All right.

Yeah, Brian, are you saying that it took a little too long to get going? For me, it did. Okay, I kind of thought the exact opposite. I kind of enjoyed having all that in the beginning. I like the build-up. I thought it kind of told you who she was. It sort of built her character up a little bit. I was a little surprised when she looked at the island,

and this was really early in the movie, so it's not a super spoiler. But they were talking about it being the island of the pregnant woman or something like that. Yes. And for some reason I thought we were going to find out while she was on the wrong, rock that she was pregnant or something, but that never seemed to materialize, did it? Well, that's where she was born on that island, right?

Was it? Yeah, I think that's what they were talking about. Oh, fuck, dude. See, I totally missed that then. Okay, I think that's what they were talking about in the beginning in the movie. Yeah, I think they said neither that or her mom was pregnant with her. Okay, maybe that's... Okay, so they felt she felt like it was her and her mom's

island. But that was all like, you know, character development backstory. It's not something that's super important. I kind of thought we Minor spoilers In the beginning of the movie I kind of felt like The truck ride there

When she was going through the pictures I kind of felt like we got a little bit of backstory Right And we didn't need to go into the whole thing With the sister and the father Interrupting the phone call I kind of enjoyed that man I kind of thought it built it up a little bit

I was okay with that I'm gonna take a more neutral approach Than you guys man I think that it was I'm not polar opposites, you know? I think that it was... I think that it was good.

I think that it was good that they had that character development in there. Was it necessary? Probably not. Because, I mean, the whole essential part of the movie was the whole shark attack thing. But, you know, it's important to have some sort of character developed. It was like they crushed

castaway and jaws together. You know what I mean? Because it was just this one chick sitting out there the whole time. fighting off the shark. Yeah, which I had no problem with that, that whole premise of the movie. Yeah. Right.

I just, I just wanted more of that. Yeah. Well, see, guys, I found it to be more like 127 hours, which I kind of thought it might be, you know, with the single person surviving. But you know what? It also kind of reminded me of her husband's movie, Buried. Have you guys seen that one? Yes. Because that was a, that one was totally a one-man show.

Yeah? Yeah, it was totally Ryan Reynolds. he was buried literally underground and he had nothing but a cell phone. Bet you Deadpool would have killed that shark. The same. Probably. After telling it a few jokes too first, right? Yeah, it just, I don't know.

I just, I wanted less of the buildup. No, I want to say the buildup because to me it didn't really build anything up. I thought we established that on the way to the island. You wanted less stories so you're wrong. I'm kidding. But, Philip, how did you feel about this movie? No, man, that's what I was saying. I'm going to take a more neutral approach to it.

I think that it was good. I think it was worth watching. I mean, it wasn't, it's not Jaws. Okay, the only reason... Spoiler alert. The only reason this movie exists is because of Jaws. You know what I mean? The only reason that fear and tension exists is because of Jaws.

Yeah, it's, I don't know. Maybe now that I'm thinking about it, because you mentioned 127 hours, Yeah. And then I mentioned Blue Crush and, of course, Jaws. It felt like, as I was watching it, it just, I was thinking of all these different movies. And it just seemed all jumbled together. Yeah, I can see that.

They definitely took some notes from a lot of other movies to make this. But it was, it was basically a Blake lively movie on her own. She may well been the only credit in the thing. Her and the shark, you know. And that was. That was the deal. They could have shaved 10 minutes off the front, 10 minutes off the end, and it could have just literally been a one woman movie and been just as good, right?

It's her versus the shark, you know? Which I will say the, I like the special effects of the shark. Oh, yeah, very much so, man. No, I think it was, okay, so full disclosure, I have an irrational fear of sharks, mostly because of jaws. Like, even in swimming pools, sometimes I get a little freaked out. So when I watch movies about sharks, especially something like this, it does totally bring me out. And I think that I'm not going to give it like a 10 or a 9 or anything like that.

But I think she did a really good job, man. I think it was her doing her own acting on her own, man. It was very believable. I really like Lively. I liked a lot of the underwater photography too, especially when there was a lot of blood involved. Brian, you remember what I'm talking about? Oh, that was cool. Yes, yes. I thought that was pretty well done.

Okay, I'll give you this, though. All right, there's a scene in the movie, and I'm not going to give away a spoiler, but it's, she's from Galveston, right? Right. All right. I know what you're talking about. We live in Houston, right? Okay, so we go to Galveston a lot. I'm actually going to Galveston in like two weeks from now, and there's a fleshading bacteria out there, and it's kind of freaking me out a little more.

a little more than sharks. Okay. So they bring up the Galveston scene and there's like these beautiful blue waters and this white sandy beaches and everybody in the theater started laughing. And I was like,

holy shit, we should go to Galveston. Yeah. Kind of like it for you, Brian, if they had a scene that they said downtown Anchorage and it was Vancouver or something, you know? Yeah. Yeah.

Because Galveston in real life is mostly seaweed driven. It's not white sandy beaches and the water is green and nasty. So you'll hear that first, folks. Our first, uh, Hey, and I love Galleson. I want to live there. That's my paradise, man.

So it's, that's Costa Rica. So it's not the Caribbean in Galisian. No, my, no. Look, look, my, my goal in life is to be a surfing beach bum. I don't know how to surf, but I'll learn.

Blake Lively can teach your thing or two. Blake Lively can teach me, man. I'll be down for that. Look, I want to go to Costa Rica and learn how to surf and just live there forever, right, and be a beach bum. All right? I've known some surfers from Galveston. The water does not look like that. I promise you. So, Lance, what do you give this as a rating? I give this a 6.5, man. I actually really enjoyed it. I was, like I said totally taken aback. I expected to go into this movie

and come back with a two or a three rating. 6.5 for me is a big victory. I enjoyed it. Yeah, I'm also going to give it a... I'm not going to give it 6.5. I'm going to give it 6. Wow. I thought it was going to be lower from what you were saying, man. Yeah, there is a lot of good points in this. She did a good job

acting in this movie. As you brought up the makeup. She looked beat to hell by the end. of this movie. And also, the effects on the shark was pretty realistic to me. I'm going to give it a six. Cool. Makes sense. I think I think I'm going to go 6.52. That sounds like a pretty good rating. And the only reason I rate that is because you guys went first. But I think it's a good movie. It's definitely worth watching. It's not at all going to go down in the history books. And it will be forgotten in probably five or six years.

Be like, oh, the shallows. Oh, yeah, probably lively, whatever. Yeah, but you don't remember the movie. All right, not bad. Okay, so we got our ratings in, guys. I think it's time to move on to the next film. I don't think anybody will give me too much trouble if we move on to Jaws. No.

We will start with trivia. Director, a little independent filmmaker named Steven Spielberg. This guy. whose name needs no introduction. But in this case, I figured I would just point out the other horror suspense movies he's done. So Stephen Spielberg was also known for Duel. Have you guys heard of that one? Yes.

That was actually one of his first films. It was a made-for-TV movie about a guy that was being chased by a really pissed off 18-wheeler driver. Oh, that one. Duel was really, really good. He also made another made-for-TV movie called Sucet. something evil, and many would consider Jurassic Park a horror film, or at least suspense. I certainly would. Absolutely.

So here's one of those really, really weird things, guys. The writer was a little fella named Carl Gottlieb. Anybody heard of him? This is really odd. His other works were primarily in comedy. He was one of the headwriters on the Smothers Brothers Comedy Show, as well as the George Burns Show. He wrote the screenplay for a movie.

called The Jerk with Steve Martin. You got seen that? Yeah. Comedy classic. And he also wrote the screenplay for Dr. Detroit. Dan Aykroy. Dan Aykroyd. Dan Aykroyd. Dr. Detroit was a Dan Aykroyd film. The shark doesn't make its first full appearance

until 81 minutes into the movie and only has four minutes of screen time. Fuck that shark. Hard to believe, huh? That's what I say. The shark in the film was nicknamed Bruce. Anybody know who Spilberg named Bruce after? Ash? Bruce Campbell?

Yeah. Good guess. Do you have a guess, Brian? Took my guess, so no. Spielberg's attorney. I was way wrong. The man's voice on Quince's radio when he's trying to call for help is Stephen Spielberg. Oh.

The reporter on the beach is Peter Benchley, who wrote the novel Jaws and also co-wrote the film screenplay. So guys, I don't think we're going to have too much trouble talking about this one. Brian, your thoughts on Jaws. Amazing movie. It holds up today. Yeah, it

totally does. It pulls you right in with that, the first thing you hear is that music right off the bat. Yeah. I mean, the cover of the freaking movie is pretty kick-ass.

and I'm totally fine with not not seeing the shark for a while because just his presence is you know it's very ominous and creepy I find the ocean creepy period that's what's scary about sharks yeah everybody was good in this movie Richard Dreyfus and um blanking on his name that played uh sheriff brodie oh yeah man I don't you know me man I'm not bad I'm not real good at names I couldn't tell you the dude's name but yeah Yeah, he's awesome. Everybody in this movie is pretty awesome. Richard Dreyf is effing incredible. Yeah, a little bit of a comedic relief in the movie. Yeah. Well, because it's not something that you would expect from him, man. It's kind of a departure from his normal kind of roles.

Right. But Spielberg obviously loved him. He used him for Close Encounters of the Third Kind, one of his other best. Yes, yes. Yeah, yeah. But I love this movie. I hate the sequels, but this movie is amazing. Like I said, the music is iconic.

Right. The music is still scary to this day. One thing I want to point out that I pointed out last week from the killer clowns. Right. The people in this town are stupid. Here we go again with a stupid die. Because I don't know what's with these towns and these movies, these people are stupid. Corporate?

People are dying left and right and they don't want to close the beach. It wasn't even an option. Yeah, it doesn't seem to make a lot of sense, does it? Hey, maybe it's not a shark attack. Maybe there's a V-shaped boat that just cuts people a half. Yeah, wasn't that the explanation with the lady? We get that boat out of the water, but it's probably not a shark attack. Yeah, that was one of the few things that kind of went a little bit too far with this movie, I think.

Definitely dumb townspeople for sure, huh? All right, so yeah, Brian, I mean, there's a lot that you said that, you know, is obviously true. This is one of those movies that, well, they say it was the first summer blockbuster, so obviously it started something. But I don't know what it is about it, but when you first start watching the movie, like you say, with the music and then you're seeing everything through the eyes of the shark. And then you got that beginning, which is kind of like the classic, horror movie beginning, right? At the beginning of the movie they're showing at a campsite

and everybody's sitting around having a good old time, smoking, drinking, you would assume they're having sex, you know? Skinny dipping, right? Everything you could imagine. Yeah, absolutely. That was the first thought that I had when I watched the, re-watched the movie was it was kind of like the classic horror movie setup.

But they did it before anybody else did. Yeah. And the other thing about it was that once they started getting to the scenes where in the beginning of the movie where the girl was running out of the ocean, the guy was too damn drunk to go in and follow her in, there's some of that classic Spielberg comedy. Because he always has light moments mixed in with all the tension. And I thought the fact that the guy couldn't get his pants off and he just kind of passed out there while she was out there eating by the shark. That was pure Spielberg, for sure. Oh, I could totally see it being neat. Then you got the slow build up to where the town starts kind of learning about what really happened. And like you guys said, there's the deniers.

There's the people that are like, you know, our entire town is built on, and our economy of our town is built on all these tourists coming in here for the holidays and stuff like that. But it's got to be the boss hog looking motherfucker. with the cigar. Man, we can't close the beach, you see? Well, that's a little bit of a southern slam to it, even though it took place up in Massachusetts. As a matter of fact, there was a...

I mixed a whole bunch of different ones right there. There was a scene early where Roy Snyder and his wife were making fun of the New England accent, even though he was from New York City. Yeah. Yeah, he's... Yeah, a pack of a cat. absolutely

oh fuck i kind of lost i kind of lost my train of thought man just want to jump in jump in real quick uh uh the budget on this was nine million dollars the box office

was 470 million dollars holy shit that's a success man so this is definitely a blockbuster Spielberg man look i thought it was really kick ass i i uh i think

just like you said it holds up today. The tension is there. It has so many different aspects to it. You know what I mean? The sheriff of the town or the chief of police or whatever the hell he wants to be called is torn between closing down the beach

and doing the right thing because there's been a shark attack or listening to, man, the corporate fat cat, see? And trying to leave the town open for more money. I mean, because for Christ's sake, tomorrow's 4th of July. Yeah, literally. It's in the middle of summer, and that's when their busiest season is, and that's when everybody in the island makes their money. And so he caves to that and lets the beach open,

and that's when people start getting killed. He caves to it, but it's eating at him the whole time. Oh, yeah, it's definitely eating at him the whole time. And then he runs into this crazy shanty-signing, Sailor, who is a shark hunter and has had some sort of USS Indianapolis horror story with sharks before, where a thousand of his fellow sailors have been eaten by sharks. And so he's got this vendetta, like this Moby Dick thing against sharks. Oh, that's a great point.

Yeah. And so that's why he smashes the radio. He wants to kill this shark. There were some scenes toward the end there when they were on the boat that I swear to God he wanted the shark to eat. He was either going to kill that shark or that shark was going to eat him. Period. Nothing else would satisfy him. He wasn't going down.

He wasn't going back without that shark. Wow. That's a great angle, man. So that was, I thought it was a really cool movie, man. And even watching it the other day, it really holds up. It's really, I mean, it's long. I don't know what the length of it is. Oh, yeah.

I didn't realize it until I was re-watching how long it actually is. Yeah, but it's worth it's totally worth another watch. Yeah, it's one of those 1970s slow burn movies that takes a while to get going. Yeah, it was definitely slow burn. I actually kind of thought the action started a little bit earlier than most of the 70s movies. Well, it did. It just took a while to really grow. It was a long story.

And guys, let's let's face facts here. It's two movies and one, right? The whole first half movie is a horror movie about, people being victimized and eaten one by one. This classic serial killer setup, like you say at the end, they're smoking, they're drinking, they're sinning, the lady gets killed, right? And then you've got the townspeople that are getting picked off

one by one by one by one by this serial killer. That's the first half of the movie. The second half of the movie, I put up for you guys to consider, is an action-adventure movie. Yeah, but it wasn't Jaws fucking two. Here's one that I watched earlier in the week that I forgot to mention,

because I wanted to talk about it. I watched Warcraft. Oh, shit. Okay. Well, I hope you enjoyed it. I did not. Tell us all about it, because I have no intention to ever see it,

even though I love Duncan Jones and the other two major movies he's directed. The movie wasn't terrible to watch. It was super predictable, but Jesus Christ, it was one of those endings where they, like, stopped it in the middle of the fucking movie and said,

Alright, well, to be continued. Dude, you can't do that with a movie. It's not a TV episode. And they're expecting this to be a franchise, and it's bombed. Wow. It bombed very... Oh, I hate that when they do that shit. Yeah, it was very well-deservedly bombed.

You know what I mean? Like, it wasn't... I guess it wasn't terrible to watch, because I don't want to say anything is bad. Because you've listened to me for a minute, then you know that I'll... like about everything. But man, the ending was awful. So you weren't,

you aren't wowed by wow. No. But, okay, Jaws took those two movies and combined it together and actually gave you an ending. So,

Jaws is pretty awesome, especially compared to the fucking World of Warcraft. Dude, Jaws is awesome compared to anything, guys. So everybody watch Jaws.

Do not watch Warcraft. Right. Jesus Christ. Ringing endorsement, man. Unless you just want to... Like, you may as well be watching a cartoon on the Disney channel if you want to watch World of Warcraft. Was it that bad?

Yes. Okay. Also, go watch The Shallows and do not watch Warcraft. Right. Go watch the Shallows. Don't watch Warcraft. Because the Shallows run bad, man. It was a good movie.

Let me ask you as a question. How many Alfred Hitchcock films have you guys seen? Uh, actual films? I can think of two, maybe. Have you seen Psycho? Yes. Has anybody seen Rear Window? No.

Has anybody seen Vertigo? I saw it. I don't remember. Okay. Yeah, I'm probably right with you right there. I'm just mentioning a couple of his biggest films, but Hitchcock was kind of the master of his day as for suspense. They weren't really considered horror, although obviously Psycho was in a way. the birds have you guys seen or heard of the birds yes seeing the birds i'm gonna say that uh spilberg was very very highly influenced by alfred hitchcock for having watched this movie there's a lot of the same beats a lot of the same camera work as well i thought kind of a genius you can't get the same camera work as hitchcock man he does everything in all one shoot how many times has he done that you know that's what he's known for and uh spilberg is when you see

said that what was the other super suspenseful movie that he did? You're talking about Vertigo? No, no, no. The Spielberg. Oh, the other Spilbergen movie? Yeah. Well, I mean, he did Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Is that what you're talking about? Jurassic Park. Jurassic Park.

Right. This one is very similar to Jurassic Park to me, and I didn't realize it. Oh, you should say Jurassic Park is similar to this one. And it is. It's very similar. It's got that same sort of suspense to it. I mean, Jaws is obviously a little more of a horror movie because everybody's afraid of sharks because they're real, they're here, they're alive. You know what I mean? Right. And anytime you go into the water, you can't see necessarily what's underneath you and sharks are

fucking scary. If dinosaurs were still around, dinosaurs would be scary as shit. And Spielberg would have honed in on that. You know what I mean? Right. But thus far, no one's been able to replicate dinosaurs in this age, right? Says you. So you want to talk about what we were mentioning earlier when we left up rotten tomatoes? The fucking sequels. I've never even seen the sequels, man.

Philip, I'm going to give you the honors here, man. I want you to tell us the rotten tomato scores for all the Jaws movies. So here's what we've got. All right, 1975, the original Jaws, 97% Rotten Tomatoes. Totally earned. I like it. Jaws 2, 55%.

in 1978. Jaws 3 in 1983 11%. Ooh. Jaws the Revenge in 1987. Zero percent. Zero percent.

Rotten Tomatoes. And well earned. A single fucking person like this movie. Brian, have you ever heard of a zero percent on rotten tomatoes before, ever? No, but like I said, well deserved.

All right, nice little aside there And they all have They all take that iconic shark coming up Out of the water in that like Upward motion from the poster And put it on their movie cover And it's Oh, it makes me so mad

Because it's so scary in the first one And then in the rest of them it's just marketing It drives me insane It's like that corporate It's like that stupid corporate fat cat in the first movie that they hate and they turn into that. Right. Going for the for the almighty dollar.

There you go. That's what happens. So what did you guys think about the scene where they were in the town hall meeting? And they were offering $3,000 for whoever could find the shark. And then you hear those famous nails on the chalkboard. Ah. What did you guys think about that? That's just classic, isn't it?

And then Quint says, I'm not going to do it for three. thousand dollars you cheap skates for ten thousand dollars i'll bring you the head the tail and the whole damn thing how classic is that i know i've seen it in the family guy before have you guys seen in other movies he said it all sailor rar i'll bring you the head and the tail the whole damn thing so how about the chemistry of these three guys man it's pretty good you know i mean they were they were sitting there singing the song altogether. Right. And it was something, I mean, okay, grand, they've been drinking together and that's sort of where we come in.

Right. But when you listen to like the sound board of it and you just listen to them singing together, it sounds super awkward. But when you're watching the movie, it makes sense. You know, they're all drinking together. They're having a moment. they're relaxing. They're, I mean,

they're trying to catch a shark that's the size of their boat because they're going to need a bigger boat. And it all kind of flows very naturally. And I think that they totally would have gotten a bigger boat

had that dude not gone on Moby Dick. Just saying. Yeah, I also enjoyed the scene where they were comparing all their wounds they've gotten over the years. Oh, yes.

I really felt like, because at first it just kind of seemed like those guys were at odds with each other, but by then, when they were relaxing, having a drink, kind of seemed like they bonded, like they got each other. Yeah, and then they asked him about his

one scar, and he got all way too serious on him. Went in a direction they didn't think, huh? Yeah, I totally forgot about that whole... I did, too. Yeah. It's like... Got really dark here, really quick.

Oh, yeah. That's probably not the guy I want to hang out with when I'm drinking. Yeah, the scene that I forgot about, because I've seen the movie probably at least two dozen times, but the scene that I didn't really remember until I rewatched it this time was when Hooper went out with Brody, and they were on the boat, and they found the remains of the fishing boat

that got basically bitten into, and then when Hooper went down there, the corpse popped out of the boat, the face? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. Out in the, on the ocean, there was like some fog out there, and it was really creepy looking. And he dropped his giant sharp tooth. Oh, yeah, absolutely.

I'd forgotten about that part. And that was actually a really effective part of the movie. So I think maybe because it happened almost right in the dead center of the film, is why I had forgotten about it. So what was kind of cool about this movie is that at the early part of it, they showed you Brody when he was in his office, and they were going out of the way to show you how it was small town with small town problems.

Yeah, yeah. Like basically, his secretary was coming in talking about problems with the karate, the kids in the karate class. Oh, right. Doing their karate on other kids or something like that. Did you guys catch that? Yeah, they're karateing everywhere or whatever. Caradding everywhere.

That was like the big news of the day. Karateing the fence. And then when he told his wife to take the son back home or whatever, she was like back home to New York. And he's like, no, back home here. Right. So that was kind of an interesting contrast. And then I noticed he talked about that later too. When he was on the boat, he was talking about how New York City was kind of tough with the vandalism and the street gangs and stuff like that.

And that they were in a nice, quite little town here, little white town. They hadn't had like a murderer or something along those lines in like 25 years that he's... Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. So that was kind of, that was the setup there, you know, and that was all part of what painted the picture for making it such a great film. Is this in New York State? I think it was filmed up in Upper New York, but I think it's supposed to take... This fictional town of Amity, which stands for friendship, was supposed to take place somewhere in Mass.

If I'm not mistaken. Is that right, Brian? I believe so. Okay. But it was filmed like in the Hamptons, basically. Like northern New York? Yeah, I'm pulling it up right now. It's Amity Island, fictional New England summer town.

Okay. Okay. I said, I bet you if Tom Brady had been there, he'd have deflated that motherfucker. Yeah. They're one of my favorite teams, man. All right. So, Cowboys. Fuck you, Texas

You can live in Houston Be a Cowboys fan, dumbass I grew up in Dallas, man I like the Texas too I know, I know I'll dig on the Texas too, I like them But Cowboys to the heart

Got anything else to mention about the movie, Brian? No, that's all I got Better be about the motherfucking Cowboys I think we get enough in it To me it was kind of funny When Dreyfus was getting off the boat And the old man said hey they're a young fella.

And if you look at Dreyfus now in the movies, that dude looks like he's about to die. No, man. He was still a young kid. That was just, dude, it was 1975, man. The beard was the fashion. I know. That's the thing, man.

That's the point I'm making. It's just fucking such a trip. Yeah. How 1975 he was considered a young fella, and here we are now, you know? That was, Richard Dreyfus was looking pretty young in that movie, man. I thought he was pretty awesome in it. Oh, he was great, man.

He was great. Like you said, kind of the comedy relief, but in a way, he was kind of dead serious, too. Well, yeah, and he was the official, you know what I mean? He was like, okay, well, I'm the motherfucker who knew what was really going on. Right. You know, and I'm going to tell you what's up. And if you don't want to listen to me, then all your people are going to get eaten. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. When he was examining the, uh, the first attack victim, he got dead serious there for a minute. He was like, look, this is some serious shit. She got eaten by a shark, I'm telling you right now, you motherfuckers haven't closed the beach? What the fuck are you guys thinking? Yeah, he definitely was dead serious.

It was basically like shut the beach down or I'm out of here. I'm gone. Pulling that license plate out of that shark's stomach is one of those things that will stick with me forever. I remember that. That was one of the, uh, that was one of the, uh, that was one of the scenes. that I remember as a kid and pulling at Louisiana played out and he's like, no, this came up from the Gulf, man.

He's not, was it a Louisiana license plate? I think it was. You fucking noticed that. Wow. Yes, it was. He said this is, this is not the shark that we're looking for. Right. Yeah, I think he mentioned that he.

It's in a license plate. Yeah, I think he mentioned that he knew that it had swam from somewhere else. Mm-hmm. And basically the license plate confirmed. affirmed that it wasn't from there. And that was the tiger shark, right? Yeah. Yes. Cool.

Uh, what? All right, guys. So let's all give our score for Jaws. Phillip, you want to go first? Um, man, I gotta go 9 out of 10 on this one. This is a, uh, a classic movie. And it still holds up today. And it's absolutely, if you've never seen it, absolutely go see it.

You have to see it. Brian? I'm going to go ahead and give it our show's first 10. Wow. What the fuck. I really, I really, I haven't seen this movie in a while, but watching it, I really wish that I watch it more. And it did its job because like I said, my six-year-old watched it with me. Yeah.

She does not want to go to the beach and swim. She said she's going to stick to swimming pools. So I feel like it still holds up. I was totally freaked out about my three-year-old watching it with me. I mean, it was 2 o'clock in the morning, and she just couldn't sleep, and she came in there and sat in my lap. And I was totally freaked out because we're going to Galveston, which I mentioned earlier.

In the other movie. In like three weeks, right? And we're going to spend a week down there. And I was like, oh, she's not going to go in the water. Because that's the kind of effect that this movie has. You don't want to go in the water after draws. Yeah, and it's... Like I said earlier, the music, everybody, if you haven't seen the movie, you know what the music is.

Yeah, right. Yeah. Hell, if you haven't seen the movie, you know what half the lines are in it. And, of course, you know, you need a bigger boat. You know, those are all lines everybody knows, like I said, seen the movie or not. The acting, everybody, I loved everybody in the movie. Right. Especially the stupid townspeople.

That might be a thing on this show where I point out the stupid townspeople in these movies. That could be a running gag. Stupid townspeople alert every week. Brought to you by Brian. That's some bad hat, Harry. I love it. Hey, that's one of the ones, I don't even remember what the hell it's from, but that's one of the ones from a current TV show.

And it's off of one of those producer credits, you know, at the very end. That's some bad hat, Harry, and they play it. Badhead Harry productions, dude. Yeah, there you go. Yep, the usual suspects, X-Men, X-2, Superman Returns, Valky, X-Men First Class, Jack the Giant Slayer, X-Men Days of Future Past, and X-Men Apocalypse. Are all brought to you by Bad Had Harry Productions.

House. There you go. That's it. After every single episode of House, they said that's some bad hat-haired. There you go. But yeah, I'm going to give it a 10. This might be in my top 10 all-time favorite movies. That's some high score.

Ryan? It had to come sometime. Right. Well, I'll never give a movie a 10. Or at least I haven't found the movie yet that I will give a 10 to. What? But this particular film, I will give a 9.5. Okay. A strong 9.5. Jaws is definitely one of the classic horror films of all time, one of the classic suspense films of all time. Spielberg, everybody knows what he's done. This was when he was kind of just getting started. he had probably only done four or five movies before this one. But this was definitely coming right out of the starting gate. A really, really good thing.

He did extremely well to, I think, match up with John Williams to do the music for the film. I think he got a lot of really talented people on board. He made it, I think he was one of the few people that's been able to make two successful films that are one movie that's actually two films together. Like I say, the first part is just straight up horror. slasher film basically

before there were any slasher films and I think the second half was an adventure film with three guys that were bonded together and going out to complete the mission that they were on. I think it was more the first third and then the second and third well

the second and third third. Regardless of what it is I think it was two kind of two movies together. Yeah no I'm absolutely I think he did it well. I think he mixed him really well. I'm feeling bad about my nine out of ten score now I think that y'all kind of nailed it dude it's a pretty kick-ass movie but nine out of ten's a good solid score any way you look at it and this also just kind of puts it out as sharks are assholes

both of these movies really confirm that right they're majestic and amazing and scary as shit all right so we've all pretty much given our score for jaws and I think it's pretty safe to say it was every for every one of us it was one of our best films all right folks now it's time for listener feedback. And this week we have an iTunes review. And this is from Kristen, I believe, if I'm not mistaken. Phillip, you want to give us our listener feedback for the week? I will, man.

Okay, so Kristen says, on iTunes, this show is great for all you horror fans. Love hearing all these awesome reviews. Can't wait to hear what's coming up next. And that's from Kristen, who is awesome. All right. Thanks, Kristen. We really appreciate that. Yes, thank you.

Thanks, guys. You can reach us with your comments, ideas, and questions at The Horror Returns at gmail.com. Please, please, please, email us with anything that you have, questions, comments, whatever, because we will be happy to discuss it on the show. The Horror Returns, that's two hours right in the middle there, at gmail.com. Or you can message us through our Facebook page. or leave us an iTunes review. Hell, we might even get you on the show if you got to send us an email.

So we really want to hear from you. We definitely want the iTunes reviews guys and the feedback. That's how we can keep it geared toward what you guys want to hear. So as always, we want to thank you for listening to another episode of The Horror Returns. We'd love to hear your feedback and ideas.

As Phillips said, you can reach us at The Horror Returns at gmail.com. For up-to-the-minute news, reviews, and interviews, visit our Facebook page at www.com forward slash the horror returns. And follow us on Twitter at Horror underscore Returns. You can always find us on Podbean

at thehorrorreturns.podbean.com. Also look for us now on iTunes. And if you like what you hear, rate us and review us so we can get our numbers up and continue to bring you bigger and better stuff. Next week, we are going to be reviewing the entire Purge franchise. And in two weeks, we're bringing you a special show focusing on the written word, and we have an interview with British horror author Sam Stone. So until the horror returns again,

good night.