The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #414: Arachnophobia (1990) & Infested (2024)

Episode Date: May 2, 2024

Creepy spider week at the horror returns studio! Cool of the week includes The Spider, The Stranger, The Big Lebowski, The Walking Dead, Boy Kills World, and Monkey Man. Trailer is Trim Season. The podcast spotlight shines on Sarah of Horror. A VERY SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO OUR NEWEST PATREON PATRON: NURELDIN MASLU! Thanks for listening! The Horror Returns Website: https://thehorrorreturns.com THR YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/@thehorrorreturnspodcast3277 THR Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thehorrorreturns THR Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thehorrorreturns/ Join THR Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1056143707851246 THR X: https://twitter.com/horror_returns?s=21&t=XKcrrOBZ7mzjwJY0ZJWrGA THR Instagram: https://instagram.com/thehorrorreturns?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= THR TeePublic: https://www.teepublic.com/user/the-horror-returns SK8ER Nez Podcast Network: https://www.podbean.com/pu/pbblog-p3n57-c4166 E Society Spotify For Podcasters: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/esoc E Society YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCliC6x_a7p3kTV_0LC4S10A Music By: Steve Carleton Of The Geekz

Heidi fucking ho, boys. This is Dana D. Lorenzo, aka. Kelly Maxwell from Ash versus Evil Dead. And you're listening to The Horror Returns. Download that shit, motherfucks. Greetings, victims. For those of you who delight and dread, who fantasize about fear,

who glorify gore, welcome. You have found the place where the horror returns. Listeners beware. This podcast contains major plot spoilers and the foulest of language. Join us in celebrating the old and the new, the best, and the worst in horror. Welcome back, everyone. To The Hore Returns, I'm Lance.

With me as always, my co-host, Brian and Philip. How's it going, guys? It is gone. Oh, pretty good. Less sick this week than it was last week. Philip, I see you on video. You look like you're over there at a furry convention, man. What's going on?

I'm telling you, I got this little fucking rabbit hanging out here. Yeah? He's basically a giant airball. I think Brian, Brian described it as a triple. Is that right, right? Yeah, it's just a big ball of fur. Yeah, it looks like a giant-ass tribble. He just kind of hangs out.

He's the most boring pet I've ever had. But whatever, my daughters. Kids love them, right? I remember we had to bury two rabbits in the backyard. I don't know why. like they took care of them and fed them and everything. I don't know if they maybe got some kind of weird disease or whatever, but they like both died within two or three days of each other.

It's kind of depressing. Well, we ended up with this one because we, uh, my dogs found a, like a little nest of like brand new newborn baby rabbits in the backyard. And they were eating those motherfuckers like chicken nuggets. And we saved one of them. And he lasted for a couple days and then died. So then my daughter wanted a rabbit. Sure.

You sure it wasn't a nest of spiders? No, I hadn't seen too many of those out here, actually. Maybe you're lucky, right? Thank God, yeah. Not a whole, well, I mean, there's some spiders, but whatever. Let them eat the mosquitoes. And not too many, like, wasps or anything. So, can't play.

What are you going to have? What do you all have in Alaska, Brian? I don't know. Insects? You still have insects? They survived the permafrost? Yeah, the mosquitoes are out now. It's about that time.

See, if you got mosquitoes in Alaska, you're never going to fucking get rid of them. They're eternal. They never want to leave, huh? I'm telling you. It's like they could be buried under. I bet you, I bet you, if the ice ever melts in Antarctica

mosquitoes will be there oh no it's kind of like the thing huh just mosquitoes okay all right you're ready for cool of the week get the show get the show on the road

yeah I'll jump in and go first because I only watch two things the first is a brand new fan film it's a horror version of Spider-Man that me and Nez dropped to

HR quick reviews of it. I'm not going to go into it because, of course, go listen to the review, but I 100% recommend everybody go check this out. Really? I was real curious about this one. It stars... Like a Spider-Man? No spoilers.

Ah. Okay. It's very... Cronenberg, The Fly. Yeah, okay. And it stars a... Chandler Riggs, who

everybody knows him from The Walking Dead is Carl. Oh. Yeah, that's a big name. So this is not too low budget then, huh? No, actually, it's very well made and the effects are really good. And essentially, it's just it takes place after he gets bit and he

goes, you guys seen the Ramey Spider-Man, right, with Toby McGuire? Yes. Yeah, it just basically picks up mostly from when he goes to his room except in the Ramey Spider-Man he just kind of gets sick and goes

to bed and wakes up and he's Spider-Man. And this one he's kind of going through the changes and you get to see all that and I thought it was well-made. That's cool. Yeah. And I'm glad to see he got to play Spider-Man because I know he

was up for Spider-Man and he lost out to Tom Holland. Oh, no. So, was it it was kind of American werewolf in London asked Brian you gotta watch transformation okay you're not gonna get

you're not gonna give much away it's a short we get it yeah and it's not long it's only nine minutes okay so me and Nez both agreed we kind of left us wanting more where'd you like it was maybe we'll get more

YouTube oh okay it's called the spider the spider yeah i looked it up philip it's out there the man you too youtube it's not very far out there right no but i will go with uh a movie i it was a series and just got re-edited into a hulu movie that i know where this is going told uh lance to check it out because stars his boy dand danaughan oh no stranger it's on Hulu Brian I couldn't find it anywhere man

I guess I'm after we record Yeah it originally it was a Quibi series You guys remember Quibi? Yes Short segment Yes Yeah Hulu got a hold of it and they re-edited Into a movie

So it's all edited together into one movie And I will say Not a big Dain Dahan fan But this is one of the roles he's very good at because he's a creepy little fuck. He's a psycho, huh? And it stars, he's the stalker, and he's stalking Micah Monroe from It Follows.

I wouldn't mind stalking her from time to time. I shouldn't have said that. So I'm going to be suspect number one. Okay. Yikes. People are going to come talk to you now, Lance. they're going to want to know about them letters she's been getting. Let's hope nothing happens to her.

But yeah, I like that there's a couple Quibi series that I hope gets the feature link edit, you know, wherever they pop up. There was a few gems on Quibi. But this one is definitely a pretty decent little thriller, kind of psychological thriller, stalker. slasher type movie with day dawn perfect for the role little sleepy-eyed little fuck he is kind of creepy so yeah that's all i got short week all right good ones uh let's see what did i watch i uh i i went back and watched the big lobowski i can't remember why i'm not mad i did It's one of my favorites of all time. Have you ever seen the sequel?

No, I didn't even know the was terrible. Terrible, terrible, terrible. Really? I can't think of the actor's name. It focuses on one. Oh, yeah. What is his name? He was in the one courtroom movie.

Oh, no. Anyway. One of the lesser characters, not John Goodman's character. Oh, okay. That's who they should have did a movie on. No shit. Walter is like my favorite character. He would have done great, man.

And by the way, China is not the preferred nomenclature. It's Agent American, please. Yes. Always remember that. And John Tutor.

Oh, don't fuck with Jesus. Yeah, that character got a movie. Eight-year-olds, dude. and my wife dragged me back in my life kicking and kicking and screaming I finished up season 10 of the Walking Dead because I had never finished it I just kind of stopped watching once Rick died I still haven't finished it yeah well it's so it's it's got a lot of episodes that are not bad man like

It gets really rolling in the story, and it drags you in. But then they'll have, like, four episodes in the middle of all the action that are about some fucking random-ass character's existential crisis for the whole goddamn episode. They're just time fillers, like some fucking... Dragging it out, right? Yeah. Like some fucking flashback episode or something. And then by the time they get back to the action, you're like, oh, yeah, I forgot about that.

They kind of tease you a little bit and then really get back in, huh? I think maybe that was the problem, especially towards the end of it. Yes, I agree. But I was having a good time. Like, once the story gets rolling and, like, it actually is progressing and they're dealing with the outsiders and all that other stuff, instead of their own little existential bullshit, it's kind of fun. So I'm probably, I mean, there's only 11 seasons. right I guess I'm going to go ahead and finish it are there 11 I thought maybe you were on the last

season let's uh let's take a look here I think 11 is you shouldn't even be looking at up yeah I should know right and I and I tried to get into the Rick and Michean thing but only watched the first episode so maybe I'm being a bad walking dead fan um yep you're right 11 so I'll go ahead and finish this one and we'll see how it goes what was the last season we What was the last season we actually reviewed on the show? That's where I left off. Eight? Maybe eight?

Okay. That's when Niggins showed up, right? Nekin's fucking. Might have been nine then. Okay. Yeah, they had this whole flashback episode with Negan and like, I don't know if they just put makeup on him or they de-aged him. It almost looked like an entirely different person. Some scenes.

but then he started talking and I was like oh no that's the same dude so I don't know what they were doing weird yeah I would say I'll have to rewatch it but that'll never happen yeah so

I guess that's gonna happen for the week yep what is your daughter is that your daughter in the background uh probably she playing VR yeah where game is it this time oh it's still gorilla tag for sure

okay Every time, huh? That's her jam. She had a gorilla tag cake for her birthday. Okay. With a big gorilla hand coming out of it? No, it's just... A big furry gorilla hand?

Stupid legless gorilla on top of a cake. Okay. Did you design it? Yeah, because that's what they are. They're like legless gorillas. Yeah, they move their hands, right? Use their hands to move. Yeah, it's a weird game, Brian.

Have you played it? No. I keep seeing her in the background, and it looks very exhausting. All the time. Maybe it's a good workout, right? It better be. I got so nauseous playing it with my grandson, Brian, that I was just like, I had to take the headset off for I was going to throw up, you know?

Yeah. It's very kinetic. All right, Lance. All right, cool of the week. I had an action day. See, I got to do two cools of the week, too, guys. I guess we're doing two each this week, because I went to the theater and checked out,

well, these are both movies we saw the trailer for that Brian showed us. I checked out Boy Kills World with Pennywise, or soon to be the new crow, Philip. Oh, yeah. To your disdain. Yeah, I mean, I'll give it a shot. We'll see. Boy Kills.

world was fun. It was not at all what I was expecting. I thought it was going to be pretty much a straight paint by numbers revenge movie, but it involved like people rearranging memories of other people to like make them remember something that didn't really happen. It got super, super weird.

And I was kind of like, I was pissed off at first because I wanted just a straightforward revenge movie. And you kind of get that the first two acts, but then in that third act you're like, oh, so everything we think has been happening has been the exact opposite of what really went on.

And it's kind of cool. I enjoyed it. Great, great photography. I don't know who did the stunt coordination for Boy Kills World, but there were some great shots. There was one scene that was like, it was real surreal. It's a surreal movie, but it's like on a stage. And there's all these characters, right?

But they're battling the main guy. And the camera just follows him, like all around the stage, different set pieces and stuff. like that. There's like a pirate ship and it goes through, the camera goes through the pirate ship and then you see them fighting and it makes it look like a single shot. Very well

done. A lot of fun for that, for sure. And then we got home that night and I watched a movie that was available. A really good copy of it. Monkey Man. Oh, yeah. I was curious. Dev. Dev. It was

good, man. It was not I don't know. Maybe I like Boyle Kills World a little more. Yeah, I've heard some mixed things about Monkey Man. Now said it was very slow. Is it directed or produced? He starred, directed, and wrote it. Oh, okay.

You said Jordan Peel, right? Yeah. Oh, Jordan Peel produced it. The Deb Patel guy starred and wrote, directed it. Okay, I thought it was. I'm sure he had some input. From what I understand, he got a copy of it before it came out. And I guess it was going to be a straight-to-streaming movie.

But he helped to get a theatrical release because he said it needed to be a theatrical release. Well, be that as it may, I watched it on my TV. It was still awesome. It was still cool. Yeah, it was not the fastest-paced movie. like there were a lot of kind of like, you know, slow times and stuff like that. But it was pretty cool. It was introspective.

I don't know too much about the politics in India, but it definitely like approached some political topics and stuff like that, which I thought was a little out of place, maybe in an action movie. But, you know, the revenge motif stayed true to its nature through the movie. And I enjoyed both of these for different reasons. Boy Kill's World was just like playing a video game. reading a manga comic book all at once and then Monkey Man was kind of like going on an acid trip and watching an action movie

all at once so they each had their high points and it was it was a fun action night I was I was ready for a couple action movies did you go kick some ass you go to fight club not me no

I'm a lover I'm a lover one fight for Brian yeah yeah that's the first rule All right, Brian has got some horror headlines for us. Take it away, Brian. Who are? Let's see. The Faces of Death remake earns an R rating for strong, bloody violence, and gore.

Okay, as well as it should, right? You guys interested in a Faces of Death remake turned into a feature-length movie? Totally. 100%. Millions. We used to watch those. We used to gather in high school and watch those fucking movies all the time.

My brother... Oh, go ahead. Go ahead. I was going to say, my brother went to... Because we couldn't... You know, you remember Lance? After a while, they just became hard to find. Yeah.

So my brother would go to, like, every video store and rent them and just never bring them back. That's how he got the whole set. He just kept them. That's awesome. You guys have... See the blockbuster

Philip did you see the one with the guy That was that was parachuting He was just getting lower And lower and lower And he went into that That crocodile Like lake in a zoo or whatever No but that's kind of awesome

It bummed me out to find out that those were not real That was... Oh, you don't say Brian Because I was like I was pretty sure Because I remember watching one of them And I was like There's no way this is fucking real

but everybody had told me that it was real. It was real to us. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't find out until I was like an adult. Yeah, same here. I found out like a year ago, Brian. That's probably when I found out.

Let's see here. YouTube movie reviewer, Chris Stuckman's upcoming horror film Shelby Oaks will now be executive produced by Mike Flanagan. Oh, wow. Damn. I like that.

Chris Duckman, I've been watching him for years. He's been a movie reviewer. He's turned to film. He's turned into a filmmaker now. His movies, I think, was Indiegogo or one of those Kickstarter-funded movies. And somehow Mike Flanagan is executive producing it. So that's pretty major right there. That's especially.

major for him. I mean, for a YouTube guy to, for his directorial debut, that's pretty awesome. Let's see, what else we do. Looking at the guy right now, he looks, he looks like a bigger nerd than we are, guys.

If Chris can make it. Yeah, no, we get a long great for him. I'm to add, I've been watching his reviews. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah, he, he recently took a lot of flak because he didn't want to he didn't want to bash Madam Webb Oh

I didn't see that part Well he's got a different outlook He just said now that he's a filmmaker It's kind of hard for him to go bash other people's films Fair enough He didn't say he liked Madam Webb He's not going to bash it This is true

Maybe he thinks he fuck the Cota Johnson Okay Or he just doesn't want to talk too much shit because he may end up working with these people at some point. I think that's probably very true. But he's also being super gracious. So that's cool. He seems like a really cool guy.

Terror Fire 3 moves up its release date from October 25th to October 11th. Okay. A couple extra weeks maybe. You don't want it? No, I do want it. You would think it'd be released. right around Halloween, but I mean, that's cool. October, October, a couple weeks earlier, why not, right?

Well, you think it would be released in December. Because it's Christmas themed. Yeah. Okay. Oh, good point. I could see that, yeah. Good point. All right, well, you know, we'll all be there, that's for sure.

There was something I was going to bring up. It had to do with the, oh, that's right. we talked about the evil dead spin-off movie from the director of infested that they announced okay they announced a second evil dead spin-off movie okay and i can't find what is that mean spinoff they're going to be in the universe right right are you using any of the same characters or is it just a completely different story different story but he he wrote a Bible to Evil Dead to all the director

because I guess from what his goal is is to find up and coming directors and have them give their take. A lot of bad idea. Yeah, well, just usually when I think of spinoff, I think, okay, well, we're going to take a character from this movie and then make their own movie about them.

And I'm like, I don't really care about any of the characters that were in the last couple even in the movies. Oh, no. None at all. Wow. Bring back Ash. Not that they weren't... Yeah, not that they weren't decent movies, but... I mean, everybody that was worth a shit ended up dead anyway, so...

I want to see the characters from the TV show to a movie. Oh, now that I would watch. Yeah. I mean, nothing's ruled out now. They're trying to make this universe bigger. And the director for the second spinoff movie is Francis Galupi. he's an up-occoming filmmaker his debut film doesn't say his day I can't find not not Francis Ford Coppola okay got you yeah which I don't know no real

description of what his movie is going to be like but the the infested director said his evil dead spin-off is going to be painful and very very French and very French right Where is he Like from France or Quebec or Haiti or what? I think France, right? And the infested director. Yeah. Should probably know his name.

We're going to talk about his movie. I think he's French. Okay. His name's not Steve Zissu. Is it the life aquatic? Never mind. That was bad. Okay.

Moving on. I never finished that movie. That's a good one. It's a good one. good one. I don't like, what's his name, the director. Wes Anderson? I can't get into. He's great, dude.

I saw, I saw him, I saw him when I went to see an Ian Anderson concert where he played Jeff Rottal's entire 48-minute, Thick as a Brick album. And Wes Anderson was there. And I talked to him a little bit before the concert.

Really? Austin boy. Yeah, he's an Austin boy. So there you go. Local boy makes good, right? You got him, and then he always works with the Wilson brothers that I think they were born in Dallas and what I've went to UT. And then, of course, you got, I guess, Matthew McConaughey in that group, you know, kind of like the Texas click, right? Okay. And Wes Anderson was very much a part of that.

They need to all do a movie together. It could be a good one. But Brian doesn't like him, so. Have you seen his shorts, Brian, that he just did, like the rat catcher and all that? stuff. I'm like, what the fuck are those all about? No, I've seen Grand Budapest Hotel and then I've seen the

other one with the Boy Scouts. With Little Moreno in it. Yeah. What was the one he did with the Boy Scouts? Was that? Something moon or Okay. Not paper moon? I don't know. I know. Totally. Yeah, I'm not

his biggest man either. Moonlight Kingdom, maybe. Yeah, I can get into some artsy-fartsy shit. He goes a little off the rails. He does get some talent in there. Speaking of fight club, he always even works with the supposedly unworkable actor.

The guy that played the Hulk, help me out, Brian. Oh, I was going to say. Edward Norton. I was going to say, Dwayne Johnson. You guys hearing all the stuff coming out about him? No. That whatever Netflix movies, that he's been working on

the budget ballooned up to $250 million because I guess he's constantly seven to eight hours late to set every day Oh no Oh no And I guess I don't like the rock And I guess it started like this thing where

One person came out to talk about Them working with him on movie sets Then like another person came out Then another person came out Then another person came out Well, I guess he did have that issue with Vin Diesel. Yeah. Fast.

Yeah. I guess he shows up when he wants to. And I guess the guy that is the producer of the movie is like a friend of his and the guy has never produced a movie before. Oh, no. Let me guess, Brian. The director came up to him and said, you eight hours late. You know what I think? And let me guess the rock said, it doesn't matter what you think.

As if he was there on set. I guess he takes like three hours to work out. It's hard work, right? They need to break Kevin Hardin to set him straight. He seems to have him. Yeah, there you go. He's sort of the rock whisperer, it seems like, right? Both those guys seem to work nonstop.

Yeah. I just been reading a lot It just seems like The quote unquote Hardest Working Man in Hollywood If the allegations are correct He might not be the hardest working guy in Hollywood Oh boy

No uh no And I guess he uses Allegedly he uses movie allegedly Don't come after us Because we don't we can't pay you you do Allegedly he takes Some of the movie budget To film like

ads for his other businesses. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Allegedly. Ouch. I hope he makes one of those little manscape ball-shaving razors. One day. One day, Philip.

Keep your rocks clean. That's a good tagline. I'm telling you. You ought to go pitch it to him, man. But we're not here to bash the rock because he came back to Rust. and he was fucking awesome. These guys. Hey, hey, Dwayne, it's these guys.

Clean your rocks. Then you won't have to smell what we're cooking. That's great, dude. That's like that writes itself. All right. All right. That's the news. All right, Brian is going to bring us the big, the small,

and now the very, very weird. Philip, we're headed down to the trailer park. Ready? Here we go. let's do all right brian take us away man just like cowgun absolutely slow week for trailers but i did find one called trim season about some young people going to a marijuana farm that are probably going to get murdered and that's the premise of the movie wait is it poison marijuana is it kind of look like some witchcraft going on and they're the end of the trailer. Yeah. Witchcraft.

I don't know. Lance didn't watch the trailer, I can see. No, I watched the trailer. I didn't get witchcraft. Well, the lady looked like she was doing some coming. Was she?

Okay. Well, poison. Poison weed don't, don't come out looking like that purple mystical smoke. Brian, you've never been to a Florida

a medical dispensary, have you? They got the good shit. I've got the good shit in Florida, but I've never been to a dispensary. Just put it like that. Oh, my God. I hear you loud and clear, dude. So look. Well, hell, you're legal and Alaska.

My hats, yeah, recreational. We're voting on that here in November, but my hat's off. Oh, that's right. You've got to have a card. My hat's off to the, whoever the bright boy or girl was at the DEA that has this week announced that they're going to be moving what marijuana from a schedule three which is like a super dangerous super addictive narcotic the schedule one at least schedule one where we can actually maybe get more of it prescribed so one to three is what you're saying yeah because

the schedule one three three to one whatever they've got it up there with heroin right now yeah schedule one's where it's at right now right next to heroin and fucking cyanide and shit. Sionite. They're moving it to a one. What's going on in Florida? Well, I don't know, man. That's a federal thing, but we're

voting on recreational in November. And I think they said 60% of the people vote for it it passes or something automatically. Yeah, here you don't need a medical card. You just need money. Money. There it is.

Money. I got the money. Yeah, I remember that, Vegas vacation. at the very end my number's hit I finally got that was my kind of that was my kind of

pick a number right that was awesome and then Brian cousin Eddie said I'll have some of the green some of the blue now don't be

don't be greedy there now fill me up just putting the slop on his plate at the all you can eat buffet then cousin Eddie went crazy in real life. Oh, yes. The Hollywood Star Fuckers or whatever

it was called or star killers or whatever. We talked about that before didn't we? Yeah. But we're here to talk about trim seasons. I knew I knew that was going to get Lance the moment I saw trim season.

It does sound like a porn. Get some trim. Get some trim. Come into our barbershop. some trim while you get a trim. I do recognize somebody from the cast. Alexandria, Esso.

Didario? Oh, okay. She was in Dr. Sleep. Dr. Sleep and Starry Eyes. You ever see Starry Eyes? Weird movie. Weird movie. Weird casting couch analogy movie, right?

Yeah, basically how far will you go for stardom? type of movie. It's a good movie, Philip. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, she played Deval's character

in the flashback scenes. Yeah. Yeah, she's pretty good actress. Mm-hmm. It's the only one on so far recognition of the chaos. And apparently stoned A-F. Isn't Bex in this?

From, uh, what was it called? The movie, we interviewed the writer. Remember, um, the fucking amusement part. Hell night or whatever. Help me out, guys. I'm dying on the vine here tonight.

I don't remember last week. No, this was... I know what you're talking about. This was the movie that we saw about the amusement part and there was a killer. Oh, yes, that is her. Yes, that is, excuse me, that is they.

Because Bex Taylor, yes, is now non-binary. So get your pronouns right there, brother. I'm still learning. Well, that's where this movie loses. It's all right. Your heart was in the right place. Your heart was in the right place. Once it stamps a big... Is that where it loses you?

Once it stamps a big... It's an exploration to gender, magic, and marijuana. I'm like, all right. They have to go there, right? This movie is not for me. Well, maybe it is. Maybe it is, Philip. Oh, I doubt it. I don't care.

I don't care if you have some... some non-binary folks in there or whatever. I just don't. Right. Don't fucking preach to me in the movie. I don't want to hear about some political shit. Do you think maybe, though, they just put that in there in the trailer to get people's attention? And they're like, oh, okay.

Like we were talking earlier. I'm sure that a lot of reviewers initially went there. And so maybe they specifically picked that review because it was really good. Yes, gotcha. Okay. Not the tagline I'm looking for right now, man. These aren't the droids you're looking for? Huh?

These aren't the droids you're looking for? Yeah, it's not the tag. Move along. Right now. It's like, oh, okay, all right. Well, never mind then. Fair enough. Yeah, fair enough.

It kind of looked fun to me, Brian, but it also looked like, what the fuck is happening? To quote Ammon, what the fuck is happening? You know, that's so weird. weird. It's like, is it killer weed? Is it poison weed? Like you said, Brian, is it a magician? I don't know what the fuck is. I don't want to see a magician pop up. I want to see no magic tricks.

Just don't look at what I'm doing with this hand. But no, I, but part of me kind of enjoys the concept. What if? Killer weed? Well, depending on. Dude, Charles Band has done this maybe 16,000 times. Well, right, but depending on where they go with it, because it is like a weird, magical fucking plant. Like it maybe didn't come from this planet or something. And if they went off of something like that, that would be cool. Yeah.

I like the idea that there's young people being lured to a marijuana farm with the idea that they're going to make some money. They just get killed by. Chinese mobsters. Oh, no. Do I have this right? They trim, like, part of the leaves off each plant. They get to pocket that or put it a little baggy for themselves or something as long as they keep pulling the buds out for the...

I don't... What's going on here? Well, trim season. It's the harvest. So you harvest the flowers. Ah, okay. And then it, you know, blooms again next year. I'm assuming they're going there to work.

Yeah. And... Okay. the people have other motives to get these people there that's that's where i found it kind of interesting what the witch looked like it looked like witchcraft i could be wrong but the lady looked like she was performing some kind of ritual at the end it looked that way like the egyptian magician you remember that from but she might have just been really high or we might have been really high watch at the trailer right

well this comes out I think this is getting a theater is select theatrical release in June why yeah this definitely seems like a straight to the OD movie this is this is

this is stretch to me but okay well Lance you don't don't like anything. We can all agree. That's not true. Night swim was not horrible. See, that's where you lose me and Phil. It's weird the things that you absolutely hate and then you're like, yeah, night swim was pretty good. All right, all right. No, no, we all, didn't we all agree last week? Wasn't it eights all the way across the board? for Abigail, right?

Yeah, that was... Okay, and then we had Spider-Man into the Spider-Verse. Let's... Less than we forget that, Brian? Five years ago. Mr. Lance hates everything. Abigail was like this year's Megan.

Yeah. And Spider-Verse was like four or five years ago. Imaginary tried to be this year's Megan. I'll be shocked if they don't do a universal horror haunted house about Abigail, right? Would that not make the perfect? like you go under the rooms and there's scenes from the movie it's a universal movie yeah but you got to get really good kids to be ballerina vampires you can't just have random kids true that is that is that is that is for sure a problem

and one of the things i don't even know if i mentioned it last week when we were talking about it but i was like you know what this is a a child actress that like didn't annoy me at all she did really well yeah and that's like yeah no lulu no lulu no Lulu syndrome for you. Right. I'm talking about Trimpsies. I watched an interview with her. I think it was done by IMDV on YouTube.

The Abigail girl? Yeah, she is a legit kid like in real life. Like, it's just kind of amazing, like seeing a movie, how she played this kind of basically someone pretending to be a child.

Yeah. Yeah, that's what I was that's what I was thinking. I was like, maybe she's older than she looks. No, when I was seen in the interview. She's a legit kid? Yeah. That's impressive. Like they were like playing

like in the interview with the cast. They were like playing games like naming vampire movies and like she didn't know shit. And I just based off because she's so fucking young. She hasn't seen anything. They should have taken her to a couple of good vampire movies. Like the Lost Boys definitely not Twilight.

Lost Boys is great though All right That's the trailer On we go Philip Killer Weed That's favorite movie title we've ever had Okay yeah no I love killer weed And I love those Charles

Band movies like evil bong and all that stuff But this just seems like a rip off You know anyway Moving on right All right. Listener feedback. This week we shine the podcast spotlight on a YouTube channel, Sarah of horror.

That's Sarah with an H for horror. Oh, is that all the feedback we got this week? Awesome. All right. But anyway, all of our logos are from Steve Carlton from the geeks. We actually just got a couple of new t-shirt designs on the website. So go check that out Steve got them on there for us

And they are pretty cool We got a whole new little Little little character We got past some Copyright shit Yeah We're names coming soon The guys Lance asked me

To name him And I couldn't come up with a name And I didn't want to give him something stupid So If anybody guys has any suggestions Is like Email us Oh, good idea.

We need a name contest to name our little guy. That'd be awesome. Let's see if Lance agrees. Yeah. Lance gets his shit together. What's that? I had to go get a beer. Y'all were talking about killer weed.

I had to go get a beer. Name contest for our little mascot. Yes. Oh, name contest. Fucking A, dude. All right. Nice. I like it.

That's, I mean, because like, I would, I'm sure. could think of something that I would think would be really cool. And then somebody would suggest, oh, you should have named him this on Facebook or something. And then I'd have been like, damn, you're right. All right. My idea is Keith David Key. Keith David Key. The little skull guy.

All right. I don't know. I don't know. Keith David's Pete. I don't want to piss off that guy. That's true. Oh, I met him. And he wouldn't give us a sound bite.

He said, look, man. And if I did it for you, I'd have to do it for everybody. I'm like, somehow I'm okay with that, Mr. David. Yeah, but how would they know which one we're talking about? Is it Keith David? I don't know. Good point. Good point.

Unless they both, too. Anyway. But, yeah, so I'll be on the lookout for that and some more great stuff from Steve. And, of course, our original skull artwork comes. some Natsulani. We still got some t-shirts with that stuff on there. Some with just a THR lettering that looks metal as

fuck and it's cool. But yeah, go check out the website for that. www. www.thehorroriturns.com. And if you'd like to help us out, please consider becoming a Patreon patron. Let you pick the movies for a future show at any amount. And for $5 or more a month. Also, pick a commentary for a future bonus

show. And that's not all. If you join it, at the $5 tier and stay with this at least three months, you'll get six coosies, a T-shirt, and a pop figurine of our choice, Uncle Pock. Yeah. Be good shit. You want to surprise you.

Yeah. We'll base it on your personality. It's like a really awesome fortune cookie. All right. And it really works. We're happy to announce our brand on patron patron. Noreldin Maslow I probably fucked your name up

but thank you so much for And be sure to send us your three With PCuonics to cover as well as a movie for a commentary And we hope you can join us on the show And I think we got them right Brian Yeah Yeah we got the picks I got to work it in the schedule somehow

All right And we had a couple of guys up to them membership, so we appreciate y'all. We won't call you out. Thank you. You know you. Thank you so much. On to featured attractions. It's Spider Week at the Horror Returns as we talk about the brand new infested

as well as 1990s arachnophobia. We'll start with arachnophobia. The Jennings family has just moved to the small town of Canaimel. Oh, gosh, smell that air. Oh, God. In search of a simpler life.

Want to blow up a bullfrey? Okay. It's the perfect place. Goodbye crime. Goodbye grime. Except for one pesty little problem. Come with me and look at the web. The web?

I have terrible fear of spiders. Come on, we live in the country now. It's time to work through this irrational, paralyzing terror. It's not irrational. Hollywood Pictures and Amblin Entertainment present Jeff Daniels. And John Goodman. From 1990, a new species of South American Killer Spider Hatches in a, hitches a, son of a bitch. A new species of South American Killer Spider hitches a lift into a small California town.

I don't even think that makes sense. In a coffin to start to breed, living a trail of death that puzzles the test. terrifying young doctor newly arrived in town with his family. I don't know why that was such a hard sentence to read, but it doesn't. I think it just grammatically, it doesn't make a lot of sense. South American Spider

hitches a ride down to the mistake. It's like a joke. I know. You guys walk into a bar. And one of them is dumber. Oh, boy. All right.

Director is Franklin. also known for Congo and 8 Below. Oh, I did get kind of a Congo vibe from this movie. Did you? Okay. Writers are Don Jacoby, Al Williams, and Wesley Strick. The safety of the spiders was paramount through the entire production. What the fuck is wrong? Okay.

Paramount. So for one scene where McClintock, John Goodman had to spray an arachnid with insecticide, then squash it with his boot. The production went to extreme measures to first a dummy spider was sprayed, then Goodman Donned special boots with a hollowed out sold for the squash shot. Come on. So that the spider would just curl up inside and wait next take. But if he's off by a quarter...

But Philip, if Goodman's off by a quarter inch, that spider's gone, baby. That's true. I don't know. You ever tried to step out of a fucking ant? Those motherfuckles are these like train spiders? That's what I'm saying. Are they? That's the only reason I could see why they would. They make more they make more a year than we do. I wonder what kind of spiders they really were. Anyway, the sound of a spider being crushed by John Goodman was made by the Foley artist crushing a couple of potato ships. It worked. It worked. It did. It did work, but I figured it would be a lot grosser than that. Just crushing a couple of potato ships doesn't...

Right? Somehow sounds less impressive. Doesn't do it for you, huh? No. All right, Lance, you'll start us out on arachnophobia? I mean, look, so this is, this was on my blind list or whatever. Like, I've never seen this movie. Really?

This is like, yeah, this was a big, big release. I remember when it came out, they had, like, glasses at McDonald's with the characters on them and all kinds of bullshit. So I was like, okay, this is going to be awesome. And it starts out very Raiders of the Lost Art, but you've got like Julian Sands going to fucking professor, nutty professor or whatever, going to try to find this stuff in the South America, wherever the hell they were. And then you're like, well, I know what's going to happen here.

You know, it's like all these different weird. first they show like it's going to be in somebody's boot and then it ends up I guess with a dead person or whatever so okay fine and then it gets there and I'm kind of like I'm pretty non-plused by this movie I've been really told that it's a fun movie it's really cool you know it's got a lot of horror elements

it's really scary kids but didn't do a whole lot for me man and yes I could not stop thinking of dumb and dumber the entire time I was watching this movie And then, of course, Goodman shows up for like 32 seconds maybe in the whole fucking movie. He's fantastic at it, though. He was great, but I thought he was going to be in it a lot more. I was very disappointed that he wasn't in it that much.

I guess the special effects were great. I mean, sounds like apparently they used real spiders and mock-ups and everything else. No expense was spared saving these spiders from destruction. That's good to hear. but wasn't super impressed with this movie. I hope you guys took more away than I did because I can't even really think of any scenes that stood out for me, quite frankly.

It is what it is. All right. Brian, what do you think? Again, I am incredibly disappointed in your review. I think it would be. This is like one of those 90s staples as far as horror movies for me. Yeah.

I've seen this in the theater when it originally came out. Might have made a difference if I had. I've watched it many times since then. I don't like spiders, but I'm not to the point where I can't watch them on TV. And this one watching it just kind of made me feel just kind of gross. It got a lot of scenes of spiders. Also warm and fuzzy, though, right, Ryan? Your memories of watching the movie?

Yeah. because it kind of felt like you know not liking spiders and checking this movie out on the big screen was kind of like facing my fears type of thing and I clearly I didn't even have to rewatch this movie I've seen it so many times

I thought Jeff Daniels was great Julian Sands you only get him for a minute but you know you're right like he's kind of like a wacky kind of scientist like not really caring about anything else but but his research. Yeah, this movie, Brian, was like 80%

Jeff Daniels, right? Like, he was in it a lot. Like, a lot more than I thought. Well, it needed to be. Yeah, it needed to be because he was the guy that was deathly afraid of spiders. And of course, you had to have him, you know, your main character is definitely afraid of spiders. So you know there's going to be some kind of showdown at chance. Right.

and a lot of the scenes still stick out in my head from the kid like when they go to the coroner's house and him and his wife are just sitting there and spiders start coming up their nose and mouth oh yeah yeah gross out stuff right that was super creepy what did you think about the like the in spider design it was fine

the big one in the yeah the big ones it was fine up close but when they did far shots of it jumping it doesn't really hold up now i guess i can see that i thought it was pretty good though it didn't freak me out yeah yeah i mean but yeah what you know you're seeing the like the starfish stuck to what's his name's chest in that heavy metal movie oh no he's like oh no the spider ah wasn't that bad no it wasn't that bad no no it was It wasn't quite that healthy. Like your whole nightmare level.

Yeah, but that did happen. All right, fair enough. And there's just a lot of scenes that stick out to me, the girl in the shower scene. Yeah. That always, for many reasons, stuck out to me as a young man. Didn't just creep you out, huh? Yeah. Where's that?

A bitter in front of bite her. but yeah I just always Trim season I just always like the story of the spider coming to America and then mating with the

common house spider to create like some kind of new breed of spider that's very venomous and just kind of spreading all over to this town which I always wanted a sequel because I know they

when they burnt the house and I know that just wasn't all of the spiders yeah I'm surprised it never got one. Trying to see here. I was going to say, I mean, it seems like there would be one,

and I probably just don't know about it. No, they never, they're supposed to be remaking it with your favorite director that doesn't direct, Phil, James Juan. Oh, all right. Producing. Producing.

Producing. If all you're doing is paying for the shit, you have no creative control. Let me just, let me get your name off of it. Jordan and P.L. is also just producing, right? and am night

no Jordan feels just producing the people under the stairs not directly that's right I love that one at the theater Tarantino got me with a couple of those too was like a quitting Tarantino movie I know I know

yeah they cocktees you they cocked you fuck that's false advertising but John Goodman he's great I like him almost everything I've seen him in he was the comic relief character in this one.

I think he was in it enough, Lance. I don't think. I think if he, if that character was in this movie as the main character, the whole tone would have just shifted. It would have been more comedy than horror. Okay. Although I kind of wanted that.

Like, the way this movie was described to me, having not ever seen it before now, I thought he was like the main star. So, anyway. He's just the standout. He does that a lot, though. Yeah. Oh, brother, where art thou?

Steels the show, as it were, right? Yeah, fucking the Big Lobowski is, he's really not in that movie that much. And he's awesome in it. That's true. You're right, man. He's just kind of like there, but he has that kind of presence, I guess, right? He seems like Walter from the Big Lobowski meets Bill Murray from Caddyshack in this, in this movie. That's great.

That's great. A goofer? But yeah, this is maybe it's just me being nostalgic about it and just growing up with the movie, but it's just kind of won't. If I had probably had to make a top ten at 90s horror movies, this definitely would be

in the top ten. Probably number ten. Okay. I'll give it another shot, definitely. I just respect that they use for majority of the movie they use real spiders yeah that's what i'm saying i'm kind of wondering what kind of spiders those actually were because they were pretty damn creepy and i'm kind of thinking maybe maybe the reason why they were so cautious about them getting

hurt maybe they're kind of easy to train and very rare or something yeah yeah so they're worth a lot they probably have like an insurance policy on each spider if you think about it right well and animal rights stuff and let you burn down a bunch of spiders for a movie. Although maybe not as stringent in 1990 as now. Yeah. But, you know, who knows? I remember smoking indoors in 1990. Fuck, I think I remember smoking on an airplane in 1990.

I remember ashtrays on airplanes. The different world. Different world, boys and girls. That might have lasted until 1990. Probably not wrong. I think so. that mid-90s is when things really started changing, Philip. All right.

Yeah, I, I've seen it before, but I don't really remember it. I think I only saw it when it first came out. And I, for some reason, thought that the movie was going to be much goofier than it was. I did too. I expected a big comedy. Yeah, I was thinking. like eight-legged freaks style insanity. And that's not really what I got,

but what I did get instead, I actually really enjoyed. I thought it was a pretty solid movie. Like, I'm like, oh, this is actually pretty fucking scary. There's a whole real plot behind this, and they've got the spiders that are attacking people, and they're, like, just extremely aggressive. And they've got the animal experts here

to tell you why they're extremely aggressive. John Goodman was definitely my favorite part of this movie. Like I was just saying, I was thinking about it while we were talking about it on the show, and I can't think of a thing that he's done that's been awful. Like, John Goodman is a damn good actor. He's a national treasure, Brian. He always plays a standout role. Because he can play comedic, but then you got something I rewatched recently.

10 Cloverfield Lane. Oh yeah. He's fucking menacing in that one. Yeah. Dude, John Gilbert is a great. Fucking the big Lebowski, man. He makes that movie. Oh, yeah.

And he makes this movie, even though Jeff Daniels is in it, who I also love. But, yeah, after Dumb and Dumber, it's almost hard to look back on his roles and take him seriously at all. Okay Which is how good he did Yeah, I got that too But I still I still like that he was the lead

And he played the role well I didn't hate anybody really in the movie Except that old-ass doctor That kept trying to blame it on him And Oh, the guy that was like You know He got a physical from him

Just before he died Yeah that fuck I'm glad he got bit he's a dick wow poor guy poor guy

that guy had him had Jeff Daniels move his entire family to the country and then said I'm not retiring not only that but you're killing people but yeah

no, it was a much more serious movie than I remember, but I still enjoyed it a lot. I have to think about what I'm going to give it for scores, but I'll let you guys go first. Lance, what do you think? Oh, man. Don't do this to me. I'm going to night swim it. Six on ten. Six on ten. Yeah. Okay. I respect that. Yeah, that might be a legit fair score for this movie. Brian, what do you think?

I got to see it again, though. especially after hearing Brian talk about it. It's an easy Ape for me. I think I'm going to go somewhere in between and hit seven and a half. It doesn't hit as much of a nostalgia factor with me because I think I've only seen it once. But a better movie than I thought it was going to be going back into it since I couldn't remember anything. It's been. Fucked that was 30 years ago, right?

I mean, let's just put it this one. When Infesta came out, I didn't have to think, because there's many spider horror movies out there. Araknophobia instantly came to my head. Of course. Yeah. And amazingly, we'd never covered it before, which is strange. Always iconic. And they use the spider well and spiders are still creepy as fuck.

Like, I don't have, like, a serious fear of spiders. But when they start jumping at you. They're fucking creepy, man. He just are. Jumping spiders. Like, I'm cool with the little ones, you know, that eat all the bugs and shit. You get those, like, those big-ass spiders, they're scary.

Oh, yeah, like the ones you dealt with in your boots when you were on special ops in Afghanistan. The camel spiders? I do have a, I don't know if it was a camel spider. I'm assuming it probably was because it was fucking huge. I do have a camel spider story. Did you burn your boots immediately? No, no, no, they weren't in my boots.

Thank God, oh my God. It was, I was in the, it was like in the middle of the night, and I was up doing watch or some bullshit, and I'm sitting in the little radio room to, it's called the talk. Anyway, so I'm sitting there with like, you were in charge, you were in charge of fixing the time machine, so one of the soldiers could go back and kill Hitler, right?

Exactly. Yeah. But you can't talk about it. No, no. That's black op shit. Anyway, so we're sitting in there just man on the radio and all that bullshit. And then, yeah, I turn around and there's this fucking spider. I swear to God. It was at least a foot in diameter on the wall.

Oh, wow. Did he immediately shoot it? No. Well, probably would have been in some shit for that. But I've got to want it to. No, I got a, I got a, I got a, I grabbed a fly swatter and I was like, I don't know if this is going to do it. And then I grabbed another fly swatter and doubled them up, right? And then, so it was kind of a thing, right?

Because he'd been hanging out on the wall for a while and ever, like nobody else is willing to go near it. And I'm fixing to go hit it with this fucking doubled up fly swatter. Which saying it back sounds really fucking stupid. but that's what we did and I hit it with this fly swatter and this fucker falls and starts running I apologize

Nez I know you're listening oh because he's a spider guy yeah yeah no it was it was it was terrifying I screamed like a little girl those big ones man

your black cops buddy's never I'm telling you when you see like a fucking spider this oh yeah foot big that's insane and that's not good and that's not good when you hitter plate and that's not good when you hit it as hard as you can

and it's just kind of oh yeah it falls in shrugs it off yeah no somebody opened the door and he finally ran out that way oh my god he's going into my fucking bed oh man what are you gonna do All right, so we'll roll back to, I forgot where I was, infested from 2024. Brian, what was it called when we saw the trailer?

Vermez. Vermes, Vermes. Vermes. Vermeis. Vermeer. I can't speak French. I guess if it's in French, it's, yeah. Viernes.

Vermines, I think. I don't know. That sounds more Spanish. He said it off like, Vermeus. You sounded like, what's that fucking cartoon cat with the sword? Pussing boots. Pussing boots. You sounded like, Batman.

All right, I still don't quite have my voice back. Residents from a rundown French apartment building battle against an army. It's forged! Of deadly, rapidly reproducing. spiders. You ain't fucking kidding. Director is Sebastian Vanisak, also known for the short film Crocs.

C-R-O-C-S. Is that like the shoes? Definitely. Yeah, I was about to say this director has a shoe Spanish. I was just about to say I need to watch it, but then when you said, is it the shoes? I don't I don't know why I hate Crocs. It probably is.

It's some fucking artsy, partsy bullshit. This is just This is the guy that's doing one of the Evil Dead remake or spinoffs. Oh, that's right. Oh, same guy. Well, there will be some shoes that show up in the Evil Dead then, I guarantee you. Because this guy definitely has a shoe fixation.

But anyway, what were you saying, Philip? Oh, there is a shoe thing in this one. Okay. No, you said that. It threw me off. I had to think about it. All right. Writer is Florida.

writer is Florent Bernard, also known for Le Fombo and Les Adventurers de Chupacabra. Say that again. The Adventures of Chupacca...

Les Aventurers de Chupacabra. That has been broken. All right. That's a Mexican. thing, isn't that Chippocopatra? Did it get on Daryl's motorcycle with him or what? I guess so.

All right. Writer and director Ribb that. Writer and director Sebastian Vanisek really wants to show the low income housing community in France differently. According to

him, whenever it's shown in movies, it's either a drama with drug dealing and all that or a corny comedy. All of all of which was predominantly in this movie. That fucking drug dealer was shaking them all down.

All right. Sorry. I did not see him deal no drugs. He was looking for fucking hash and shit in the shoebox. He said, you got the half of the shot. You got the cocaine. No, yeah. I assume they all had drugs. Right.

So they weren't dealing drugs, he thought they were. Anyway. So he just wanted to be drugs, gotcha. His perception is that in real life, it's mostly humming along just fine with a few issues here and there. Like spiders. Many killer spiders. First feature film from director Sebastian Manusect, who had directed a few shorts before. He pitched the movie to producer Harry Torchman, who loved.

and introduced him to Netflix. They loved it as well and thought the movie deserved a theater release before ending up on Netflix, which is a big deal in France. And this was on Shudder here, right? Yeah, they have different deals depending on

countries. Okay. Yeah, because I almost thought it was like a Shudder original the way that it opened up. Anyway, Lance, what did you think about infested? So this started out a lot like arachnophobia, right?

It's just that it was in the desert rather than in the rainforest or whatever. So I'm like, okay, this is paying like super homage to it, like to the point where I'll bet this movie's probably going to be a beat-for-beat remake of arachnophobia. Obviously it wasn't,

but they definitely had some of the same beats. So that I noticed right away. I was getting a little bit bored with it, quite frankly, guys. I mean, it was, you know, it took a long time to be. build up. You have the shoe box fiasco

and you get the guys that are you know in the apartment and doing their thing or whatever and then all of a sudden something weird happened and for whatever reason these people just started fucking fighting cops and cops were like

kind of like that movie wreck that was filmed in Spain where they block off the apartment building I thought a lot of wreck and I thought they were going to go there more and lean more heavily on that. And I don't want to spoil too much, but when you get to the scene where these

people just start fucking randomly fighting with cops that are in like full bulletproof vest and helmets, I'm like, okay, now it's fun. This fucking movie is going somewhere. And at that point, this movie became just a fucking fun house for me. There was that

one scene in a hallway, and I won't say anything to spoil up, but where the camera was spinning, right? Like the whole time of the camera slowly spun. That was a beautiful shot. It was a really well-filled movie. I mean, it really was. I don't have a lot of

negative things to say about this. It went quickly. Like I said, I started getting a little bored with it, because there was so much build-up with like, what's going to happen. We've only got one spider. Granted, did they take liberties of how quickly these things could reproduce? Probably, because I don't know how

realistic that is. Could go back to Phillips Alien theory. I don't know. but oh that was about me not spiders. This was for sure alien spiders. It felt that way. Yes, yes. It totally felt that way. And they did a good job with it.

So I enjoyed it, man. This was a fun movie. It was like that beginning scene was really cool out in the desert. And then it got super slow for like half an hour. And then you got that one scene with the ridiculous, you know, cop bullshit, which where the fuck did this come from? But I'm loving it. If I'm in that situation and they're not letting me leave,

and fight some cops. That's right. They said you're not, you're stuck in here, right? I'm fighting my way out. I'm going out to fire escape. I'm going out some way. And it was cool, man. It was a great, really got out of control fast. And after that, like I said, it was nothing but just bigger and bigger and

uglier and uglier and gnarly and gnarly your spiders. Great filming effects. Really good acting. Like, I believed everyone that was in it. So it was a fun movie. I enjoyed it. I'm glad you picked this one, Brian? All right, Brian, what'd you think? I had a blast with this one. I liked the beginning.

I thought it set up just how dangerous and rare these spiders are by what happened to one of the people that caught the spiders. Yes. On the job dangers, I guess, right? Yeah. Who would have thought that would be a good idea to catch?

I know. Fucking stupid, weren't? Uber deadly spider and then sell him to some jackass. I like the I like the introduction to the characters. I felt like, yeah, it kind of took its time introducing us to the characters, but it kind of just gave us enough time to get

to know these characters. So when they were in some kind of situation, we were neither rooting for them or rooted against them. Like we kind of spoiled one part with the with the guy accusing everybody of drug dealing and having drugs on them you just knew that guy was going to get it in some way yeah he was kind of a dick though guess guess i said a little too much on that one you know sorry um i like the use for for the most part the the spiders do grow and obviously those those aren't real the bigger giant spiders but for most part again just like arachnophobia they use real spiders in this one

which it was creep me out there was there was so many scenes where when I seen multiple spiders I was like you just got to fucking burn this building down that's yeah that's the only solution kind of like arachnophobia style huh yeah unfortunately there was some harm to a dog in there that I didn't appreciate I kind of felt like I thought he was going to make it but when I seen the dog do something I was like I know exactly how this is going to go for you this is going to go down huh and you have a pity too right

yeah so I was just kind of like fuck for the most part I can't say nothing bad about none of the characters none of the acting in here I felt like everybody did what they needed to do cinematography was great I can say something bad why the fuck could they have just spoken English. Why did they have to all speak France for fuck sake? Because they're in France.

Oh yeah, there is that. Okay. Okay, I do have one little gripe. The copy that I found out there, I guess I should have watched the shutter, had I known it was on shutter, but my copy, the words were like a minute and a half

after the scenes. So like I would get the scene and then I'd get the English translation and out a minute and a half later. Yeah, that was rough. That probably makes it a lot more difficult. You should have watched it on Shutter when your copy, the movie started

and the Shutter logo came up. Yeah, that should have tipped me off, you would think, right? Yeah, but I thought this movie was a lot of fun. Kind of wanted more out of the ending than what we got. Yeah, I have questions about that. Well, we don't want to say too much.

I was going to say something I should have, so yeah. Yeah, I'll just leave it at that. and pass it up to you, Phil? Yeah, no, I think it was... Is it going to be, like, super memorable and iconic? Probably not, but it was a really fun spider movie. It was pretty creepy when it needed to be really creepy. There was many, many spiders, like, a lot,

and it was a little bit terrifying. And there's a couple of scenes in particular, with some bigger spiders that we'll talk about spoilers that were pretty fucking awesome and you had and you had the insect nerd right that like he nerded out over all the insects and snakes and shit yeah well there was like two of them really I guess yeah the guy that was his friend that they had a falling out with

and and so I really liked where it went I mean I got a little annoyed with the main character dude like at some point I'm like oh my god just fucking kill this guy is he supposed to be young or old I think he's supposed to be young he seems young his face he had an old face I think an old face

from him I got an old face from all of his friends though really like 40 year olds playing high school that one that one lady was annoying the cop The one that the lady was supposed to be a cop, but she was completely useless in every situation.

Uh-huh. Yeah. Oh, man. We're getting into spoilers. All right. But anyway, I enjoyed it. It was pretty creepy. It was pretty action-packed.

It actually had a pretty decent storyline to go along with it, if you don't mind following along with the subtitles. Right. Preferably not a minute and a half late. I'm sure that probably fuck things up. But yeah, if you don't mind the subtitles, it's actually a really, a really good movie. All right, scores.

Lance? I'll still go 7 on 10. I really enjoyed it. I love the camera angles. Love that one hallway scene. And I thought everybody reacted the way I would react if, you know, there were these fucking spiders that were multiplying 10 times faster than nature should normally allow.

like they were multiplying faster than the speed of light and I think that Einstein told us that's not possible. That's like not only is not only a good idea but the law. You end up with eight shit lotus spiders by the end of this movie. Yeah, we got to throw that out the window and just enjoy the movies. So it was fun. It was fun. All right, Brian. I think this is the show first two weeks in a row. I've got the same score as Lance. All right.

Seven on ten. Yeah, no, I think I think I'm right there with you. I think seven is a good score for this one. I gave, at least I meant to give arachnophobia seven and a half. I'm pretty sure I did. I'm going to get this one to seven. All right. Not quite arachnophobia, but close.

Right. All right, cool. Just because arachnophobia is kind of iconic, this one is brand new. You have to pay your dues to get that half a point. Fair enough, yeah. Makes sense. All right. Spoilers.

This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. You've been fucking warned. This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. You've been fucking warned. This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. You've been fucking warned. Okay. The main scene where I said you needed to burn this fucking building down is the guy that got the brand new shoes.

Yeah. When he got bit and he saw the spot. and he went to smash it with the shoe and then it burst into many tiny little spider I was like... Yeah, that was a trip. Just forget your belongings.

Have you ever done that, by the way? I've seen videos of it. Okay, I've done that before. No. There was like it, what looked like this giant hairy spider, I squish it, and millions of teeny tiny spiders because it was just

it had babies all all over its back that's why it looked so furry yikes terrifying and then another scene was when you guys remember when he found a little egg sack and he put it in the shoe box

yeah sure and then they opened it later and it was fighters and that one guy had the best reaction that the guy that was supposed to be like an MMA fighter how he just immediately grabbed the roll of tape and just duct tape tape. That was perfect.

Which I'm glad we got to see him do some MMA when he was fighting the cops because I was like, why are you guys mentioning he's an MMA fighter? And then for the most part, he's not really doing nothing. And then straight up puts an arm bar on a cop.

Yeah, it was a good one too. Yeah. But they, although I didn't I'm not sure I agree totally with the very end of it though where they were like Yeah, well, we're the guy who had obviously already been bitten and this is like almost zombie spiders because I guess if they if you get bit they They somehow implant teeth semen into you and Like alien, huh? Yeah, that is a good description.

Teeth semen. It is. It's like it's like the little, uh, the little spidery things from the alien. Alien movies. The Facebook. Sure. Yeah. They bite you and they shoot their load in you.

Yeah. There you go. That's exactly what they do. I'm going to face fuck you. And so it was like a lot of those guys. But yeah, when that guy who had already been bitten was like, yeah, I'm going to run out of this fucking building after they already had it kind of quarantined. Although if you're going to quarantine it anyway, just burn the fucker down.

But I have questions. Yes, he let him out. I have questions about the quarantine. What are the questions? Because I thought it was going to go full wreck, but they didn't quite pivot all the way there, right? When they quarantine the cops, when they quarantined,

did they quarantine themselves inside the building? I guess. Yeah, I assume. I mean, they were in there, right? So they took one for the team. Kind of sloppy organizations is this. They quarantined themselves on the outside to block the doors. That's why they were in the parking garage.

Oh, okay. Yeah. And I guess they had all the exits closed off. We talked about the wreck vibes. Did you guys get a few Evil Dead Rise vibes from this movie, too? Like with the parking garage and all that? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

And then the big giant spider when they're trying to drive out. What was that? Hold on, Phil. Lance, when you say the wreck, do you mean the raid? You know what? No. That's a thought, too. I mean wreck.

the Spanish movie, right, that they remade with the girl from Dexter in it. The found footage with the Yeah, the found footage. Okay, I thought you had. Yeah, wreck with demons. W.R. But now that you mentioned it, the rage, I mean, yeah, they're trapped inside of an

apartment. I can see that too, right? And they're trying to get out. Yeah. So, I don't know. It's kind of its own thing, but it does kind of borrow from a few different movies, right? Yeah, and Lance, you brought up that hallway scene.

Yeah, with the spider webs. Boy, did they act fast, huh? Yeah, they had all that shit set up within an hour, right? No, I'd have open that, I'd open that bitch up and been like, nah, fuck this. There's no way I would have gone through that shit. They had like the worst...

I would have jumped out of window. They had like the worst flares ever. Yeah, no shit. They lasted for all the 10 seconds. I was like, are those fireworks? And then that fucking light. And they showed it early in the movie, right? where the one guy spun the thing

to make the light come on and you're like, okay, this is a McGuff and this is coming back and sure enough, hey, leave the light on. Why the fuck did they have to have the light on just so they could see that they weren't walking into a timer, I guess, right? Well, I know, but why did it even have to be on? Couldn't they have just ducked and dodged?

Because the lights were, the spiders didn't like the light so they were staying away. Yeah, they didn't. It almost like. I get it. Go ahead. They didn't really make that rule until about halfway through the movie.

It almost like froze them. Yeah. And then suddenly when the lights were on, they were frozen. It was like the ghost in Mario. Because in the beginning, when they were hunting for the spiders, they were underground. So maybe they're sensitive to light and they can't see. That makes perfect sense, dude. You just brought it full circle.

Kind of like maybe like the creatures from the descent. Yeah, except I don't feel like they were doing that in the first half of the movie. No? And then they thought about it after, maybe? I don't know. It felt to me like they just made a rule up in the middle of the movie. They were like, oh, we can use this as a gimmick. Yeah, it was a good scene, though.

Kind of. Because you had the one girl that volunteered to hold the light. Yeah. And everybody had to, I would have, I'm sorry, I would have left that girl, the cop. Oh, come on, dude. I couldn't do that. Well, and, well, because she was like, I'm really fast and agile. And then, like, as she's.

No, not that girl. Oh, okay. The one that was screaming hysterically the whole time. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. She got to, she gots to go. She's done.

Yeah. If she's in my group, bye. If you're going to become a liability, you're going to be left by. And that's the one I'm talking about. She's supposedly a cop. Wow. I don't want her for protecting my street. She like had no kind of skills, nothing.

Yeah, no cop skills, huh? Even when the other police showed up, she was just like, she said something like, I'm not that kind of police. I was like, what kind of police are you? The fuck? A pencil pusher? He sits at desk and. fills that forms all day or what?

I mean, I guess they need them too. Hey, no offense, if anyone listening does that. What did you guys think of the look of the spiders when they got full size? Very good. Very well done. I liked it. Okay, so the part that I want to talk

about, actually, was the spider coming out of the fucking guy's mouth when he was cocooned up on the side of the fucking wall like alien. That shit. was terrifying. It was for fun.

My fucking God. Go, go run now. Get out of there. Were those real spiders? Did they just, like, made the picture bigger? Or what?

They could have. They could have just enlarged them for the screen. That one looks pretty CGI, I think. Okay. Gotcha. But you never even really

saw the whole thing. You just saw most of the, like, the legs coming out of the mouth and stuff. but then what about the one at the end the giant one yeah why did it go away it was like

hey guy you're cool go ahead that's I don't know that's how it works felt like they they wanted me to think

and I was like well that doesn't make sense that would lend to the alien Maybe that was the original spider. Maybe that was the original spider and O-Gy. And he was like, hey, you tried to give me a home. You're cool and gave each other a quick app. And then walked away.

Man, I guess so. All been revealed in the sequel, maybe the big spider was, maybe he was like, I saw you fighting these cops. You're on our side. You're cool. You can leave. I'm like that. You're on our side because you're fighting the cops.

Why not? All right, you guys ready to bring it on home? Yeah. All right. As always, we want to thank you guys for listening to another episode of The Hore Returns. An extra special thanks to our new Patreon patrons and those who decided they want a piece of that pop figurine action. And we do have awesome new T-shirts that Steve made, by the way. Just let you know. and we still got a shitload of the coosies.

I've got to get rid of them. That didn't sound good, did it? We have a shitload of great coosies. I want to hold on to them. But you guys who want them. So, you know, what are we going to do? So, you know, I can't keep them all. I can't make like a tower of coosies.

Brian, what are we covering next week? Man, I think Al wants to come on with us, if possible. We are covering the brand new. 2024 taro as well as the GIF from 2000 The GIF

or the GIF? Damn it, Lance. The GIF. Yes. Is it Mike Tyson or what? Which is pronounced the exact same way as GIF. Because it's spelled

the exact same way, minus the D. Well, that sounds like a great couple of this. these, man. I've already had a couple of people message me saying that Tarot top, bottom five contender. Now, how can people know that until they've seen it, Brian? Come on.

Let me guess. P.G.13. Curse? I think a lot of people judge stuff by the trailer, but I've seen many bad trailers for good movies. That's true. Smile, Brian. We thought we were going to hate it, remember?

Yeah. Yeah, it looked like it was going to be cheesier than it was. I mean, we brought it up before. Megan. Yeah. Who thought that was going to be like a pop culture phenomenon that it turned out to be. Oh. Apparently the people making the trailers did, because they put some money into that shit.

Yeah, fair enough. All right, Brian. On that note, until the horror returns again. Good night. I don't know.