The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #415: The Gift (2000) & Tarot (2024)

Episode Date: May 8, 2024

This week, Al Ramseur joins us as we all read our fortunes. Cool of the week includes The Roast of Tom Brady, Late Night with the Devil, Humane, and Chucky season 3. Trailer is Mind Body Spirit. The podcast spotlight shines on Sledge Hammer Horror. And we get feedback from New Horror Express, Dave Long, Kev Angus, Kaan Soler, and Wayne Aaron. Thanks for listening! The Horror Returns Website: https://thehorrorreturns.com THR YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/@thehorrorreturnspodcast3277 THR Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thehorrorreturns THR Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thehorrorreturns/ Join THR Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1056143707851246 THR X: https://twitter.com/horror_returns?s=21&t=XKcrrOBZ7mzjwJY0ZJWrGA THR Instagram: https://instagram.com/thehorrorreturns?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= THR TeePublic: https://www.teepublic.com/user/the-horror-returns SK8ER Nez Podcast Network: https://www.podbean.com/pu/pbblog-p3n57-c4166 E Society Spotify For Podcasters: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/esoc E Society YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCliC6x_a7p3kTV_0LC4S10A Music By: Steve Carleton Of The Geekz

Greetings, victims, for those of you who delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify gore, welcome. You have found the place where the horror returns. Listeners beware, this podcast contains major plot spoilers, and the foulest, of language join us in celebrating the old and the new the best and the worst in horror the horror returns i'm lance as and with me as always got uh brian and philip in the house how's it going guys hey hello and uh straight from the club it is no not jacks but it's one of our original Patreon patrons. Out Ram Sur, man. You've been with us from the beginning. Thanks for joining. Thank you for having me. Of course, thanks for having me.

So what drew you in this week? You got a fascination with tarot cards or what? No, not really. I mean, no. But it's just, I mean, I don't know. You wish you were psychic. I'm stumped. Yeah, you can stomp you right there. No, not really, but I mean, I just want to be on a show with you guys. I mean, you guys got great content, and I like to talk shit. So, I'll watch a shit movie for you guys. On that note, how about a good movie? Spoiler alert.

Spoiler alert. How about a good movie, man? What's your cool of the week, Al? What is the coolest thing that you watched, Red, listened to? Well, you're in the Bahamas. You're probably going to outdo all of this. The Tom Brady, the Tom Brady Roach from Sunday night

was my core of the week. That's awesome. It wasn't as good as Dom Rickles back in the day when he used to fucking roast like Sammy Davis and fucking, who's other guy? Dean Martin and then, yeah, yeah, the rat pack.

But it was good, though. It was pretty good, bro. It was pretty good. I liked it a lot. Yeah, all I saw was clips, but, man, Tony Hinchcliffe was murdering motherfuckers. He was, dude, he was, he was. They even brought out Ron Burgundy last night. I was like, what?

But fucking, um, not cool of the week. Yep. Same, same spot. It was Netflix. It was, um, Cat Williams is live, dude. Oh, no. That shit was weak as hell, dude. Damn, I wanted to watch it, too.

It was weak as hell, bro. I had a feeling. I didn't like it at all. Shit, I like Cat Williams, too. I like Cat Williams, but that show was trashed. Yeah, not a great, not a great special. No, not at all. He's with this shit, he's with this, Phil.

He's with this bullshit. Oh, I'm woke. I'm so woke and this and he's going to tell on everybody, but he doesn't tell nothing. come on man oh yeah he's big into like the illuminati thing or something yeah yeah yeah it's terrible yeah it's terrible damn right brian did you did you spend your time watching it i don't watch a lot of stand-up comedy specials i i like comedians better when they're doing like podcasts when they're kind of going off of off of the head instead of prepared material

makes sense makes sense i haven't seen too many that i've loved loved lately. I watched the Cat Williams special he had before this new one and that one was kind of trash. It was trash too. It was trash too. We've got

something going on here. We've got the train going now. All right. Moving on. Who's next? I'll jump in. I finally got to watch Late Night with the Devil. Oh, okay. And it is for sure

my cool week. It was pretty fucking awesome. Yeah, very original. Even though some of the special effects towards the end get a little weird, it works the way that they do it. Does that make sense? I don't know. I like the story. I thought it was super original. It really sucked me in.

It was a good movie. My wife was upset when it ended because she thought it was like a series. She wanted She wanted more, huh? Yeah, I guess so. We're going with that. And then I also checked out Speak No Evil.

The original. The original. Well, because I know they're doing a remake, and I'm excited about it. And I couldn't remember if I had seen that movie before, and I guess I just heard you guys talk about it because I definitely happened. We talked about it a couple times. Yeah. But, yeah, man, good movie.

I mean, it pissed me off towards the end. But, uh... Yeah. Well, because the guy was being such a fucking weener. I'm talking about at the very end when he jumped out from behind the, where he was hiding. He said,

Yeah. They're from Holland. No, I think Phil means throughout the entire movie. Well, yeah, but like it's almost understandable in the beginning of the movie. But like towards the end, you're like,

what the fuck are you doing? Where is your line, dude? Brian, we got pissed off about the end. too. Brian. Yeah. Did you watch this movie where

they put these like time bombs on like kids when they were out camping? Have you seen that movie? I think I put it in it. They're like being hunted? No, but they had time bombs on them and they weren't being hunted but they were fighting each other

once they knew it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I've seen that one. Yeah, that was pretty good. I like that one. Yeah, that was pretty cool. I can't remember the name of it. Yeah, I can't remember. marinate, but that was pretty good, though. I'm sorry to interrupt you, bro. Somebody's yelling at us. I've heard Tim and Heather talk about this movie.

They had, was it called Blasted or Blasted? Yeah, something like that. It was something similar to that. Yeah, blasted or explode or something like that, yeah. It was on a lot of top tens. Yeah, it's kind of like a generic name. It should be called Cut the Red Wire. Ha ha.

See? I'm good at this. man. No, it was basically like these collars that they had to wear. Yes. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Okay. I think I know. And the whole setup was that if you kill them, then you get their time that's left on their clock. Yeah. Oh. Okay. Okay. I can't think of the name. I'm picturing the poster because I remember first seeing the poster and I thought the name in the poster was like really generic. But then I was surprised. how much I enjoyed the movie. It was such a good movie. Like, I watched it one night, late night. I was like, what the fuck is this going on here?

And then I was like, oh, shit, it kind of hooked me in. And I was like, oh, shit, it was really good, bro. Was it called spontaneous? No. Okay. All right, never mind. Catching on fire. Living on.

No, and then I tried to watch Dune 2, but my internet went out like 10 minutes into it. It looks cool. Oh, no. Oh, hey, can I give you not cool in it? week? Can I get a knock on the week? Fucking, what's his guy's name, dude? Fucking Part 2 of this

fucking Netflix movie. This movie was so fucking trash, bro. Rebel Moon, yes. Rebel Moon, bro. I forgot to even talk about that. Yeah, I've seen that. Fucking horrible. It was so boring, so slow, so stupid, like, why I mean, I try to watch it, but

fuck. yeah i didn't hate it but no look i heard that uh good motherfucker said uh part one that that was decent but then they watched part two they even they came back around was like yo was number one good i know no i was thinking the same thing i was like man that was kind of garbage there's like people that with no character development that you're supposed to suddenly give a shit about i'm like i don't even know who that guy is. Exactly. Yeah.

I don't give a shit. I think I'm just going to wait because they're supposed to be putting out the R-rated versions. Okay. Oh, okay. Of course they are. Don't let him trick you, Brian,

to thinking that every movie he has to make has to be a own director's cut type of shit like they're holding him back. No, they're not. They're not holding him back, bro. They're not holding him back. This was his choice. I, all right.

But that's all I got. I only got one movie this week. I checked out a Kronenberg movie. Which Kronenberg? Caitlin Kronenberg's movie. Oh. Inhumane. We checked out the trailer a little while back.

What was it about? The government is asking people to sacrifice their lives for population control. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. I didn't know this was out yet. Yeah, with politics aside, I thought it was a good, good movie. Okay.

I'm mostly focused on the aspect of, because the parents agreed to volunteer themselves, and then the wife ends up skipping out, leaving. And the government, their people show up. And essentially, they're like, well, we're contracted for two. so we need two and then the father goes ahead and goes through with it but he signs over the fact that one of his four kids his four grown children they have to pick amongst themselves and who's it gonna be and that's that's go ahead sounds promising i kind of like the idea yeah i just like the the the back and forth with the with the children well they're not children with the

siblings I guess you can say. Gotcha. All right. A lot of them, there was certain ones of them that were like, okay, you can get it and I wouldn't have a problem with it. But then they would bring up something that, okay, well, maybe the sister can get it. Or the brother, you know, it was kind of going back and forth until then. A lot of dialogue then, pretty dialogue. Yeah, very, very different what I expected, because she didn't go to body horror.

route that her father and brother did okay so she's good enough yeah she's placing her own trail then yeah it's more of like a dark comedy with little thriller and horror aspects in there wow talk about family drama huh i do see it i do see it out there available so i might have to might have to check it out tonight what is this called inhumane in humane all right i got you bro Caitlin Cronenberg, huh? Yeah. Okay. Is that it then?

Is that the cool of the week? Yep. That's all I had time for this week. All right. I'm going for my cool of the week. I'm going back to a classic. Chuckie, season three. I thought you were going to Kirkkeeper.

Oh, yeah. Oh, speaking of which, guys, we got all get caught up on those lost, those missing tales from the crypt files, that we forgot to record. Oh, yeah. But get back to Chuckie, it keeps it fresh. I don't know how much of this stuff Don Mancini is actually writing now. Probably most of it.

But like every time I think, okay, well, they've kind of like gone meta on that, they can't go back to that character. They'll introduce another one. Yeah, kind of like they do a lot in Cobra Chi where people keep coming out. Like, Brian, is this the year? We're going to get Hillary Swain. The next karate kid or whatever. it's the final season so um i would say so they pull out all the stops for this last one

may as well bring out the will smith kid no no oh that would be the multiverse they're doing the movie with uh jacky chan and uh ralph macho oh okay but they're not they're not bringing jaden back um can i jump in real quick i'm sorry lynz i'm sorry phil i'm sorry Brian. That's what we do right here, man. Come on. Have you guys watched the fucking X-Men 97? No, we've heard nothing but great things. Well, I haven't seen it. I haven't seen it either. No, me neither. It's dope, bro. It's really good.

Is it animated? I don't even know what the hell is. Yeah, it's anime. It's anime. It's really fucking good. Bill, did you ever watch the original X-Men animated series? Like the Saturday Morning cartoon one? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a continuation of that, but it's in that 97 style. Okay, that's cool. And the graphics is so much better, just the whole art style is so much better.

I mean, it's legit, dude, that's what I can say. It's legit. Speaking of which, dude, Deadpool, the Deadpool Wolverine movie that's coming out, I'm so 100 million percent therefore. I love the trailer. We couldn't tell, Phil. Oh, man. I'm like, okay, this is a fucking guy movie.

This is what Marvel's supposed to be. Look at Phil. Phil is like, I hate these movies until I got to watch them all. Yeah. All right. Well, that's cool of the week. So, Brian, got any horror headlines this week? Yeah, I guess we'll start with the biggest as far as TV news that happened last night and then got up.

dated today. Last night it was reported that A24 had pulled the plug on the Crystal Lake Friday of the 13th series. Bloody disgusting today had an exclusive saying they have not pulled the plug on it. So if anybody's heard that it's over, it's not over. Okay. It's almost like, who do you believe, right? Where do you get to your media? Isn't that what they're always asking you? Yeah, I have a question. If that, pull the plug because we talked about a while ago how 824 wanted to get into bigger projects and franchises you think if they pulled the plug maybe they kind of bit off more they can chew

oh good question they seem to be trying to beat everything right now right yeah yeah weird did that stay maybe staying there on lane a little more i don't know maybe they got too big too fast seen that happen that happens because that's uh Happen to Pete Floyd. Doing a Friday to 13th series where each series is basically going to be a remake of a movie. That's a lot of money and time.

That's weird. So what is it like every episode was supposed to be like Jason's killing new people? No, every season would be like the first season would be the first Friday 13th movie. That sounds terrible.

That does sound terrible, dude. Well, you guys haven't seen it. True, true. And Lance, I can't, I was really thinking about last episode. Uh-huh. You tried to bring up the Equal Bong movies as entertaining and good. You know, I can't say I've ever watched them. I don't know if I went that far, Brian.

I think I said I liked them better than this trailer. You had us watch. You're just mad because they compared it to hereditary. Yeah. And same thing. Oh, I didn't mean the one for tonight, but that did piss me off when I saw that. I'm like, just be your own fucking thing.

Don't be a found footage version of this. What trailer then are you talking about? The one from last week with the fucking weed witch or whatever she was. Well, you didn't even think she was a weed witch. Yeah, I'm saying evil long is probably better than that movie. You have this evil mom? What the fuck's his name? Evil Mom?

Evil bong. Evil bong. Evil bong. Evil bong. Yeah. Al, it's one of those. It's a Tubby movie. Hey, I watched so many Tubby, I watch so many Tubby fucking, fucking, like, Sasquatch movies, dude.

I watch some of these motherfuckers, dude. Al, it's one of those, like, they intentionally try to make a bad movie. Yeah. Yeah. It's, yeah, it's like. So, so bad. Sounds like it. Super B-movie in and it knows it, you know.

It sounds like it. That's why I can't appreciate them when you intentionally try to make your movie bad. Okay, fair enough. You got me on that one, Brian. You got me on that one. I went way overboard in comparing those movies. You're right. Bad choice of film.

Fun movies. Well, they are fun movies. Especially when you're naz and you go to fright mirror and watch. it in the in the theater words all you could drink beer oh when you guys left him by himself yeah that time he went to go play trivia or something

didn't we fell up or what was that I don't know I didn't know they had free beer yeah Phil he said that was the best thing about the evil bong movie was the free beer that was Des his review all right Michelle yeah

was going to star in Prime's Blade Runner 2099 TV series Hmm Well She can tell me Lance I believe that show you That was your cool

The Week on Netflix as she was in I think you guys said this about two weeks ago Fallout Oh hell yeah Yeah What? Everybody's picked Fallout out so far I think What's that show you were watching on Netflix

Lance The brother's son Yep, canceled. Oh, really? Oh, no. That's a shame. That was fun, man. Yeah, that was good, bro. Inflatable dinosaur battle, Al. Yeah, that was good, dude.

And then, and then she turned into like a fucking, I don't know, she came from like a house mom to like a goddamn. But you knew it was there the whole time. To the goddamn head kingpin at the end, dude. She was just holding it back, man. That's what I'm saying. Netflix. They don't know what they do.

That's stupid. They jumped a gun on everything. They don't let nothing find its audience. All right. Let's see. We got any movie news. We've got another cast. Remember joining 28 years later, Jack O'Connell.

I don't know who he is. Joining what? 28 years later. Oh, okay. Zombie movie. We're getting a third, 47 meters down movie from Patrick Glacier. Yeah, I assume they keep making money.

Yes. Yeah, there's no shortage of shark movies. Yeah. Al, you probably see no shortage of sharks out there. Am I right? Man, I've seen fucking maybe two wells in my life. I mean, I've been on the water for so long, but I've seen two wells.

These motherfuckers are a fucking elusive as fuck. They're elusive as fuck. But yeah, shark movies suck, dude. These shark movies are terrible, dude. I kind of hate them. Well, except Jaws, right? Even that one's not, they're good. You're crazy.

Even that one's not that good. Don't press my hand in and tell me that I like that movie. I got to tell you you to like it. I'm just going to tell you you're crazy. you can address your emails too right Al put on these sunglasses

man and then look at those people no no put on these sunglasses now quit fighting me put on these sunglasses now you're talking about some like in the ocean you're talking about some like giant octopus

or some shit like this dude have you seen anything like that or they probably don't come to the surface right well I've seen I haven't seen no giant octopus you know that's very rare but I've seen like lights. They got these things called like, I don't know, it's like the lights,

but it's just basically the, the ship going with the current, and it's creating like electrostatic. And so the ship lights up. It's pretty cool, it's a pretty cool site. Any UFOs? I've heard they're underwater sometimes. I mean, they call them UFOs still,

you know, but it's really just electric current. Oh, for the, for that stuff. Never heard of it. It's called the, what's that movie called with the fucking people? Something likes, fuck. I'll think about it. All right, all right. Get back to it.

St. Elmo's Fire. It's called St. Amos Fire. Yes, okay. I know what you're talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's called Seymal's Fire. All right. It's just electric, just electric currency.

Building it through with the ship. And there's some of this atlance. But it looks nice, though. It's fucking beautiful, honestly. Probably wide open out there. You can see all the stars. Yeah, bro. I've seen the Southern Cross.

I've seen all the stars. I've seen all the, uh, the whole. I've seen them all, bro. Southern Cross is the best one, though. All right, Brian. On with the news, man. All right. Another crazy role for Nick Cage.

He's going to star in a Jesus-based horror movie called The Carpenter's Son. I'm going to go ahead and assume that Nick Cage plays Jesus, right? Maybe he's God. Okay, that works, too. You're selling them short, Philip. Oh my God, now I've heard everything. Beed's going to love this one. Let's see.

Hugh Jackman's going to star in a darker reimagining a Robin Hood called The Death of Robin Hood. Is he going to fight Winnie the Pooh, Blood, and Honey? I don't know. Oh, that's another one I got to watch. Have you watched Unfrosted on Netflix? Yeah, it's silly. Jerry Seinfeld? Yeah, did you like it?

I liked it. It was funny. It's just very silly. It's funny, dude. It's just a simple comedy. It's funny. It was funny, though, to me. Yeah, I wouldn't mind seeing Seinfeld some more. It's been a while. Let's see. We talked about that last week. I don't see any another casting for Zach Krigger who directed Barbarian.

He's an upcoming movie starring. Josh Brolin Benedict Wong from Three Body Problem joins the cast Okay, well you said several people dropped out, right? Originally it was Pedro Pascal But you all know he's Mr. Fantastic now So

Yeah, he can't be no No kidding, easy choice there, huh? Well, they said it was with scheduling Because of filming a Fantastic Four and the last of us Season 2 is no way he has time for other movies. So that's how he got replaced with Josh Rowland.

See that. And there was somebody else in the cast. Julia Garner. Alden. Ozard. Okay. Yeah. Alden Enrique. Is that how you say his name? Name sounds familiar.

Is he kind of like the next Dane to Han or what? So he's going to start in every time. Star in a bunch of movies and then quietly just go away. Into heroin. What movie is this, Brian? What movie is this you're talking about now? Weapons. Weapons.

Did you see Barbarian? Yes. This is the director's, his follow-up movie. Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So is it going to be a horror or is it going to be, like, some kind of suspense or? Mystery horror. All right, cool.

Yeah, I'll check it out. Definitely. Go for that. And I hope it goes. Go ahead. I was going to say Barbarra was good, but, I mean, it was pretty good, dude. It was really good. They just, they do so many different things at you. Like, they hit you at one, and then it was, like, three different segments of the movie.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Want to say when I say that when I say that? I like that part. I kind of like that, too. I really did like that. I really did like that. Especially when all of a sudden the dudes out there driving on the Pacific Coast Highway.

That fucking silly music playing in the background and he's some douchebagging is convertible. And I'm like, what the fuck? We were just in a basement. Yeah. That was, I got to say, that was great casting choice. It was. Because that guy's Justin Long was known to be playing nice guy roles. Justin Long is one in one of the,

of my favorite movies ever waiting with Brian Reynolds oh that's a good one that is a good dude yeah that's funny if you've ever worked in food service you really get it right yes no it's not a good movie you don't get it waiting to

oh I didn't even know there was one that's what they made that yeah oh shit that sounds horrible waiting to waiting two I might watch it tonight, dude. I'm going to have to Google that tonight.

Rebel moon, right? I'm checking here. It's another slow news week. All right. But we got comic stuff coming up, right? Is it with comic book convention season right around the corner? Yeah. Maybe.

I don't know. I don't know. going on anymore we we may hear something good but Al you're a you're a fellow Floridian so I know I know for a fact that you know what a trailer park is I told you I got a fucking goddamn one right behind my house I just told you that like two shows we're hit we're headed over there then because Brian is about to bring us the big the small and the very very weird what's our first two trailer right mind body and spirit. And I picked

this trailer because I know Phil, you like to found footage movies. I do. I love the found footage movies. I love those too. Lance, when I seen that they said this is hereditary meets

the streaming age or whatever they said, I knew this was going to piss you off, so that's why I picked this trailer. Why would they have to say that, though? I mean, why compare whatever you're making to something else? Well, when we review movies, we say this reminds me of this,

and that's not the people making it, comparing it, it's the people that are reviewing it. Okay, true enough, true enough. So you've just got a reviewer then that's trying to make these comparisons then. Maybe she waxed people with telephone poles and their heads pop off. Oh, good. Did you ever think of that, Lance? That could be the twist.

That may be the twist. but I see heavy influences from her hereditary and other movies and I do like a good found footage movie every now and then as long as they're done right yeah and it kind of makes sense to make this think she's a yoga influencer so she there's your reason why the cameras are rolling all the time yeah that makes sense well cameras are kind of rolling all the time everywhere anyway I mean, well, how does that make sense? Found footage and then hereditary. That's not even in the same sentence. It does seem odd, doesn't it?

Well, I think somebody's going to find the footage of her doing some kind of ritual that she discovers in the house that I think from the trailer said she inherited and finds stuff in the back room. Yeah, it looks. What is this movie called, Brian? Mind, body, spirit. Mind, body, spirit. I got you. All right. I'm going to watch the trailer later.

I've been hearing some good things about it. Yeah. Because I think this has been doing the festival run. It doesn't look bad. She definitely looks creepy when she looks at the camera a couple of times there at the end. Yeah, she pulls that online yoga instructor thing off pretty well, though. And you know they're going to do some creepy stuff with the yoga positions. Yeah, for sure. Bending in certain different ways.

Yes. But for me, this is all going to rely on her because it seems like she's going to be in majority of the movie by herself. Probably. What was that one movie a couple of years ago? Was it called Superhost? It was pretty much just her the whole time. And she pulled it off.

I enjoyed that. Well, she went bad shit crazy in that one. That's what worked for me. But it's super host is the one where they, were like an Airbnb and they're like in they're like they're like YouTubers and they review like Airbnb's and hotel and stuff and

and she was crazy. Yeah, that was a good movie. I like that movie too. Yeah, I really like that movie too. Yeah, I really like that movie dude. She was super crazy. Let's see, release date on this one. Like I said, I know it's doing the festival runs. It says should be out now.

Oh, all right. Go check it out. See where we can find it. Platform it may be on. Well, didn't it say streaming? Like on the end of it, I don't think it said in theaters, right? It said streaming.

I don't pay attention there. Yeah. All right, hold on. It did say streaming somewhere. For the third time, right, what's the movie called? Rest, repeat, Rents? Yes. Exactly.

That's washing your hair, mind-body spirit. She looks like, she looks a little like yoga with Adrian on YouTube, which is a fantastic channel, by the way. Check it out. Okay. Are you doing yoga, Phil? Oh, yeah. Yoga for a long time. There you go, Phil.

Get them. No joke. I know. We believe it. We believe you. We just don't want to visualize it. trying to see if I recognize her from anything. I do know this game that she did the voice for.

Life is strange. Life is strange. Never heard of it. But I do like, I don't know, I got a thing for like women with short hair like that kind of, dude. I mean, it kind of gives me going, dude. It does it for you, huh? I do, I do, I do. I do.

You said, I fucking hate it. I'm going to have to go with Phil. I don't like it. You don't like it. Don't like it, right. I can go either way. A bunch of gay women in fucking Alaska, huh? Yeah, it looks like May 7.

On to listener feedback. Lance, you still looking for where it's at? Okay, we'll move on to listener feedback then. This week we shot in the podcast Spotlight on Sledgehammer Horror YouTube. channel. Reviewing, ranking, interviews, and just talking about horror movies and media in general. Check out Sledgehammer Horror. New Horror Express posted, we are back briefly. Join us for our penultimate, okay, episode where we talked to George Daniel Lee, Leah, about his 21st century horror favorites.

regarding Savini and Dustal Dawn Dave Long says Come on, Sex Machine Regarding McHregan Kevin Angus says Good film spoiled by a silly ending I don't even remember the ending

I know, but he's kind of right, probably I don't even remember ending at all Yeah, which says something. I remember I enjoyed it, but yeah, I think the ending got a little out there. Let's see. Regarding Friday the 13th, the final chapter, Khan Solar says, I never realized the cute nurse that dies early in the chapter and chapter four is the same actress in the Back to the Future movie. She plays Leah Thompson's best friend when Marty jumps back to 1955.

she never had any lines but I always thought she was very cute that's a fun fact I know you know to that point one of these girls in this next movie's gonna talk about is one of those girls that like she's always like the side chick or something but she's very cute she's like that girl in the movie yeah regarding 28 years later Wayne Aaron says the British rage virus trilogy comes to close.

Or eventually. Or does it? I believe this new movie is the start of a new, well, not even a new trilogy, because there was only two previous movies, but. Oh, wow. But yeah, you know it is,

because it's going to make money. They're going to start a franchise. They got Ray Fines to be in the movie. Yeah. Fucking, what's his name, Voldemort. There it is. All right. Our show intros and logos come from Steve Carlton, from the geeks.

Be on the lookout for some more great stuff from him. And our original skull artwork comes from Natsulani. You can find both of those, both of the artwork stuff on Thehorror Returns.com and buy a t-shirt with it. It's pretty awesome. And if you'd like to help us out, please consider becoming a Patreon patron. We'll let you pick the movies for a future show at any amount. And for $5 or more a month, also pick a commentary for a future bonus show. And that's not all. If you join the $5 tier, stay with us at least three months, which is how long it'll probably take us to get you your shit anyway.

Also get six coosies, a T-shirt, and a pop figurine of our choice. We're going to read your fortune and send it to you. How about that? How, you got something, did you? Yeah, man, I got my shirt. I got my fucking, uh, my Funko Pop. Yeah, yeah.

I just went on to fucking, um, the shot glasses. All right. Just get it hit the Coosies, huh? Maybe when we, I'll see you. Oh, the shocklaces or the coosies, right? Yeah, coosies, coosies, not shot glasses. Do we have shot glasses?

I was like, I didn't get none of those either. I know. I was thinking that. I was like, maybe. It's possible. They're out there somewhere. Special edition.

No, but the shirt is fucking fire, though. Fucking the shirt. But I was so surprised to see that motherfucker today. You know, that was like one of my favorite shirts, bro. That's one of my first shirts. That's a rocked ass shit everywhere. Yeah, man, it's a good shirt. Good material.

It's real comfortable. Definitely. And we have brand new designs up. I do. Go check them out. I like the old. old school retro from Natsalani, the old school retro,

just the fucking face on this thing, THR, that's it. That's my lady. Yeah. All right. On to featured attractions. We check out the brand new tarot and 2000's The Gift.

We'll start with the gift from 2000. Because, you know, I'm sure there's 15 fucking movies with that name. What's mad? You see something? bed. More unusual than a

disappearance. We got to the end of the road in our investigation. We looked under Everroctor's to look under. Is there anything you can tell us at all? Is that the only witness wasn't even there?

I can read for you. What I'm seeing is split rail fence in a pond. I can smell flowers. Um, a fortune teller with extra sensory perception is asked to help find a young woman who has mysteriously disappeared.

Director is Sam Ramey, also known for Evil Dead and Dr. Strange and the multiverse. I didn't know that. Yeah, I didn't realize it was Sam Ramey. Writers, get this, Billy Bob Thornton with Tom Epperson. Hold on.

He wrote the fucking movie, dude? Yeah. What? I guess so? You learn stuff every day here. Yeah, didn't they work on another movie together? What was it?

A simple plan? Ah. That would make sense. That's a good movie too, though, girl. I guess Bill & Barton's doing this thing, dude. Telling you. Smart guy. Yeah, that's what's up.

Andy's car is the classic, the Delta 88 Oldsmobile that appears in every evil dead movie. I fucking thought so. and nearly every other. Yeah. I'll be darned. To prepare for her role in this film,

Kate Blanchett visited five fortune tellers in one week. One of them told her she needed a bodyguard. Okay. Maybe she saw Keanu attacking her in her vision. Maybe she got a glimpse of Giovanni Ribisi's character in this movie. You need someone by your side at all times. Probably not that guy. I love it.

I love him. All right. Well, Al, tell us what you thought about a... Classic. Classic, classic early 2000s. Everybody could think about in the early 2000s was in this fucking movie, bro. Seriously? Breconier.

Fucking got even Kiana wheat. Keanu Reeves beating on women and shit, dude. It was good, dude, it was good, it was good. I mean, and then, can I say this? This guy, as soon as you've seen him in the second act and his eyes had the raccoon eyes, I knew he was a ghost, dude. I just thought it was going to be earlier. I didn't think it was going to be at the very last five minutes of the fucking movie, though.

But you know what I'm talking about, right? Yeah. It was a Giovanni Rubisi? Yeah, Giovanni Rubisi. He's always kind of got circles around his eyes. I was about to say, I think he just looks like that. Yeah. But it was a good movie.

And then, Kate Blanchett, I mean, I mean, she's in an act her ass off, but, I mean, it wasn't terrible acting, dude. You know what I'm saying? Like. Sure. No. And then you got fucking this other guy who was the lawyer, and they tried to set you up, like, he was going to be the bad guy,

but he really wasn't. He was just a lawyer. Sure. And then he had a scumbag lawyer who was representing fucking Keanu Reeves, and he was a shit lawyer. Right. It was a good movie, though. I mean, I fucking liked this movie.

I mean, I kind of like it, bro. I mean, it was really good. I like it, bro. I like it. I can't say nothing bad about this movie. I mean, I was really surprised. I mean, when I really watched it and I was like, gave me like a day or so to watch it.

And I was like, oh, this is my bad, bro. It was good. And Kate Blanchess is a good actor. And then he had, what's her name from, the girl's crying louder. What's her name? Hillary Swin. Keanu Reese's wife.

Hillary Swing. Hillary Swing, dude. Come on, man. Hillary Swing. Yeah. I thought she was a killer at one point. Yeah. Yeah.

Especially when she pulled her hands back when she had those cards, right? Yeah. Yeah, it was really good, dude. I mean, I'll give it a six. I'll give it a six. I mean, I don't mean to jump to gun on me, but yeah. Oh, that's okay. All right.

Brian, what do you think? Yeah, this was a good rewatch. It was almost like the first time watch, because the only thing I remember from this movie was Keanu Ree's playing a different character than he's ever played. For the only time ever, right? Yeah, and I only remember Kate Blanchett. I didn't remember Giovanni Rebiz.

I didn't remember Katie Holmes, Greg Kinnear, Hillary Swank. And then the two lawyers are like you know who they are. Ricky Bobby's dad. Yeah. Hey, hey, hey, Brian, Katie Holmes, Titties. Is this the movie from Harold and Kumar where the roommates had to stay home because this, a movie was coming on? they got to see Katie Holmes tithies?

I think so. That's right, dude. I think so. She was kind of playing off character because she was sleeping around quite a bit. She was super loose. Wasn't she? And then was Gregorne?

Was he just a simp? Or was he just a cuck? I don't understand what he was doing. I think he was. She kissed the man right in front of his face. And then walked to the bathroom. Right? What the fuck?

you're doing record here you gotta start dude that man no one was you would ever cupped her dad's balls in her hand and when when he started to do something about it he went a little too far

right barely but yeah it's a fantastic cast kiano i think he did a good job because when i hear him do accents i always go back to dracula

or halfway through the movie he just gives up He kept up. That was kind of great. But I thought he did a good job with his accent, this one, playing out of character for, you know, because he's known as one of the nicest guys in Hollywood. And I don't even think people even talk about this role he played. I just have to imagine that on set.

Like, does the director eventually go, you know what? Just never mind. Just do your own thing. Just be you. I kind of felt like Sam was trying to motivate him and it was like, I don't know how to do it. And Billy Bob was like, I got this. Yes, that makes perfect sense. That makes sense.

And I like the whole fortune teller mystery aspect of it, how she was able to see things, but not necessarily as they happened. She had to put them together herself. Yeah. Okay. Because, you know, I've seen other movies. when they had psychics, how they just outright seen everything. Yeah, like watching the movie or something. Yeah, except for like that one little thing.

But this thing, it was all like jumbled up visions that she had to figure out for herself because J. Jonah Jameson, Sheriff. Oh, yeah, yeah. Another one. Yeah. I don't know what town this is in, but apparently the murder suspect. beat up a woman in front of you. Alabama. It's in Alabama.

It's okay. All you need now is a lawyer to come to say, Yana, the two Utes, they were just driving through. It's like, I'm sure it's the same county, right? What is a Ute? That guy was, what is that guy's name?

He was great in that movie. Joe Piscopo? You're talking about Joe Peschi? No, the other lawyer. Oh, I'm thinking about the lawyer who was like. instead of saying heinous he was like hyenas how heinous

how he did Al Sharpton but yeah I thought it was a fantastic cast Al I agree with you this isn't one I would bring up

as Kate Blanchett's movie where she's just putting in work into acting because she was she was playing the part as it needed to be played but it wasn't something

that if I had to make a top five you know, this definitely wouldn't be in there. But, Phil, I have to agree. Giovanni Rebisi was fucking my favorite character because he was so unhinged in this movie. Yeah. I love him. As soon as I've seen,

my bad, Phil, as soon as I seen Giovanni Rebusy in like the second act, and he had the fucking raccoon eyes, I was like, oh, this nigga's dead, dude. I didn't even write me on the first. I thought it was Giovanni Ruisi Halfway through the movie And they did a great job

Giving you so many different suspects On who you thought the killer was Yeah Because it could have been Hillary Swank Could have been Giovanni Revis Could have been Keanu Reeves Yep So I definitely recommend this

Especially if you want to see A kind of a different A different direction style for Sam Ramey because if if I wouldn't have been told that this was Sam Ramey, I wouldn't have known from watching it. I didn't even know. I didn't even know that was a Sam Rame movie.

One of my favorite Sam Rame movies is for the love of the game. With Kevin Koster, where he pitches the perfect game. You guys seen that one? Hell no. He directed for the love of the game? Mm-hmm. I think my favorite Sam Ramey has dragged me to hell.

Yeah, we haven't done that one. you have it? Oh. Oh. That's how we do. All right. Lance, what do you think? And I, there's, there's very little in this movie that, you know, you would say it's not acted well, it's not written well, you know, the story doesn't move along.

But like, it did, like, totally grab me as much as I was kind of hoping that it would for, you know, rainy. I was a little bit like, you know, slow buildup and everything. But, like, did you know. was ravey before you watched it? I think I probably did, man. That might have messed it up. Might have messed it up a little bit. Because I think like you, Brian, I have seen this before.

But it's been, it's been such a long time since I've seen it that I really honestly couldn't tell you. Yeah, you're probably like me. It's probably been a good almost 20 years since I've seen this movie. I didn't know what Sam Ramier at all. Like, it doesn't even look like his shooting style

or nothing like that. I mean, I didn't know it all. But this is the second time I've watched this movie in a few months and and I've had no idea with Sam Ramey. It was a good movie to me. I mean, Lance, you found a song. I just, I wish this movie had grabbed me a little bit more. Like I was kind of, you know, looking for that plot to just, you know, run away from me and then all the twists and turns. And, you know, there's like basically there's nothing about the filmmaking that you could put to fault.

but for some reason it just wasn't, you know, super exciting to me. I got you. A little bit long in the tooth. I thought maybe if it was an hour and a half or so, we probably would have had, you know, a little bit more action. You know, there at the end when Kinnear started acting weird, you kind of knew where everything was going at that point, which it was a good build up to it, but it didn't totally grab me.

If we're already giving scores now, I'm also going six on 10 on this one, which, as you know, Brian puts stuff there with night swim. So this is top 10 of the year then? Probably not. Question, Lance. Did you watch this with AJ? I did not. Do you think it might have helped?

No, I just because you told me you always tell us how she's good at spot in the twist. I just wanted to see if she caught the Giovanni Rebesi. Was it ghost? The whole time? Was it ghost? Yeah, I didn't

I didn't see that coming But he really wasn't though But he really wasn't though He was like a ghost for like the last Ten minutes of the movie dude But I knew he Or was he Or what he was

They said he killed himself that day At the hospital Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah They nailed it down It was kind of weird When he set his dad on fire though I'm like shit That was kind of weird

Oh yeah that was fucking off the fuck Like what the fuck I love that scene. Giovanni Rubisi is fucking amazing. I love him as an actor. He's not an enough shit, man. I mean, he always played a crazy person. It was definitely

quite a role. Yeah. And if anybody's seen Ted, he has some sweet dance moves. Yeah. Well, and he plays a crazy person in Ted. There you go. He just wanted a friend, Phil. Yeah. He's a

friend. He's a weird dude, and he leans into it. I like I like it too yeah man this was my cool of the week a few months back and so it was kind of a fun to re-watch it again even yeah man the cast is just

overloaded like overloaded like every single person that's in this movie you're like holy shit that's that person and they all did pretty phenomenal I'm surprised this movie didn't get bigger because

I don't feel like I remember seeing it when it first came out in my wife. I know. It was under the radar big time, right? Yeah. Like, you know, I caught it on HBO or something, but God, that's been a long time. I kind of feel like some of these actors

weren't who they are now then. That is true. Like, J.K. Simmons being the last name on the last fucking nameless is crazy, too. I noticed that too when the credits were rolling in the beginning.

I'm like, holy fuck, who's not in this movie? But yeah, no, it's your classic suspense thriller, Kiss the Girls,

Law & Order SVU kind of thing, right? Yeah. Yeah. It plays just like that. I paint my numbers. Yeah. Well,

except, which is fine because I love those movies and it throws in a little bit of a supernatural aspect, which puts it a little bit in like X-Files territory. Yeah, I can see that.

Okay. And yeah, man, it's a great movie. I had a really good time with this one. Classic. Classic that went under the radar. It didn't get its love when it came out, but neither did a lot of movies. True.

Oh, what's her name? I forgot she was in this movie. Kim Dickens from Fear of the Walking Dead. Oh, Fear of the Walking Dead. Oh, yeah. Oh, hey, Brian, this is Kate Blanchet's friend, right? Yeah. Yes.

That's the one I was talking about, dude. She's like... Oh, okay. She's got like a face and she's kind of cute, but she's like, always the side girl. Oh, you're right. Okay, I see what you're talking about. But I can fuck with her, though. You know what I'm saying?

But that's the one I was talking about, though. That's exactly that's the exact this fucking one. talking about them for real. Yeah, and her hair was nuts in this one too. I hated it, but she was still cute. She had like the fucking goddamn, what the fuck? She had like a Mohawk, dude. Like a mohawk? A country.

In Alabama, a mohawk. She had an Alabama mohawk. We call this a mullet hawk. We call this a mullahawk. All right. Brian, you want to give your score first? Yeah, I'm kind of at a six and a half, seven. Six and a half?

Yeah, mostly it's for the cast. Yeah, sure. Because it's kind of just crazy going back to just see these actors, like I said, before they rose to the fame that they are now. And seeing Keanu doing this role that I actually wouldn't mind see him do more. kind of step out of character. He's a good actor, dude. He's a good actor.

He has to stop selling himself short. You're good actor, bro. Like, instead of doing John Wilk, John Wilk. Yeah, John Wick tank. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, just the show of the wrist on again, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. He'll be shooting some presidents.

Yeah, John Wilkes. He's back. I was about to say he played John Wilkes booth. I'm going to go a little higher. I'm going to give this one a seven and a half. I think it fits right in there with those Ashley Judd thrillers of the era. But those were a little bit better. Fair enough.

Yeah, that's good. But for me, it's a solid six. It's a solid six. Yeah, it's a solid six, dude. I mean, and then like early 2000s, everybody was in this movie, dude. Every early 2000s actor was in this fucking movie, bro. And I don't hate it. I love it.

But solid six, bro. All right. On to tarot. That's a big fun. Twelve cards in the circle. One more at the heart. With this final card, your reading will start.

That's terrifying. That's all decks kind of strange. Where did you find them? It's an unspoken rule not to use somebody else's cards. Who cares? Who's going first? Follow one rule to stay out of danger. Hello?

You're never to deal with a deck that's shooting. Be sure it's not tarot. Territ! Territ! When a group of friends recklessly violates the sacred rules of terror... It wasn't even grammatically correct. They unknowingly unleash an unspeakable evil trap in the curse cards. An unspeakable.

One by one, they come face to face with fate and end up in a race against death. Director is Spencer Cohen and Anna Hallberg. Writers are Spencer Cohen, Anna Hallberg, and Nicholas Adams. Oh, we don't have any trivia for this one Because this is brand new, I guess But they decided to make it a theatrical release So Al, what did you think about taro? Trash

I'm not trying to watch it I try to watch it, bro I just couldn't get into it, dude, I mean Did you walk out of the theater? I didn't even watching it, dude I found it by other means. I did too. Air quotes.

Air quotes. Other means. Air quotes. But, no, it was just so dumb, dude. I mean, I try to watch for like four nights straight, dude. Oh, no. I couldn't get through fucking the first fucking 35 minutes, bro. Oh, was fucking sleeping in this shit. No.

It was just... All right. Not loving from Al. Brian, what did you think? It's not good. By far, it's not good. But I will have to say, it's not the worst thing I've seen this year. Thanks.

What's the worst thing you've seen this year? It's on a certain somebody's top ten. Because I by far would watch this movie again, the Knightsman. You know what? I think you're right. I did think the design of some of the monster, some of, what were they, demons? Sure. Card characters, right?

Yeah, I thought some of the designs were kind of cool. I just didn't like the execution of how they made them look. Yeah. Pretty much for me personally, an unknown cast, except for Jacob Battalon, who played Ned in the Spider-Man movies. The only person I recognized them. Yeah, yeah, that's what I recognized, dude. Didn't they have one character from the new Stranger Things season? The one who got killed first, I think, wasn't she?

Probably, I don't know. I wasn't paying attention. What the fuck? I don't know what the movie. So he didn't watch the movie. Well, we have two walkouts. We're open to, Al. We're so far, we're over two.

There were some almost cool kill ideas in there, but they did the PG-13 cutaway. Yeah. You stole the words right out of my mouth. But they made it great. Yeah, but at the end of the day, this is like that

kind of late 90s, early 2000s, young person, horror movie, like, I could see my youngest daughter and her friends going to watch this in the theater. And then hating it, right? Probably my daughter hates a lot of movies.

This is like, this is like, I know what you did last summer at light. Yeah. Kind of making the same thing. Some of these, yeah. Lance, what's that movie? One Miss Call. This is like in the vein of that.

Oh, yeah. That was really bad. Yes. That was really bad. Was the movie? Yeah. Earlier this year where they had like a monkeys call. Where they kind of a monkey's call?

Yeah, like this is like that. I'm like on crack, bro. They tried to make a talk to me and it didn't work. Oh, the human hand? Yeah. Al, is it what you're talking about where they had that, that disabundance. The hand, Monkeys, Paul. What's a difference.

There's a big difference. There's a big difference. Short story. Be careful what you wish for. Okay. No, this movie was terrible. bro, I couldn't get past 35 minutes, dude. And the only person I knew when I seen this kid,

I was like, okay, that's fucking a fat kid from fucking Spider-Man. And then I fell asleep. I have a question. When was this film? Because I swear he lost a whole bunch of weight. Dude, it didn't age a day, huh? If anything, he looked younger, right? No, I was wondering if this was filmed a couple years ago.

Probably. Probably. I mean, like, like, right? But like, what the fuck was up with his eyebrows? Did he not have eyebrows? Was that just me? I don't remember. I think I read he has to shave his head for, I think maybe what do you call it, alopecia or something? Oh, no. So if he's got alopecia, that makes sense. That's, I don't know. I don't know if that's my hundred. Don't say something you're not sure. Yeah.

Well, that would be it. It was weirding me out the whole movie. I'm like, what? is this like a new look that he's going for? I don't understand. Wait, did you just say Ned will slap me? Who said that? Will snap? Oh, I thought you said. I was like, I will fuck Ned up.

Fuck Ned up, dude. I can't imagine he runs very fast. But at the end of the day, oh, I said something I shouldn't have. At the end of the day, this movie's not geared towards me. is definitely for a younger audience who probably probably would

recognize people in this cast so it's just not for me. Not the worst thing. It's not a night swim. It's not even a fucking two-be movie on fucking Wednesday dude. It's not.

Too-be Wednesdays. I love this movie, bro. Lance, how does it compare to night's? Lance? I think I okay, no, I think you guys are being a little bit harsh. I do. And here's why, because Brian touched on it. I think the creature effects were pretty damn good.

I have to say the way that they shot the effects of the creatures that were coming towards you and the world were they with lighting and shadows and everything. And then they kind of just showed you part of the weird face. And it was like just uncanny valley enough that it sort of looked like a human, but it definitely wasn't a human type thing. I thought they got all that right. I think the acting and dialogue in this should be thrown in the fucking trash. This is like one of the worst-acted, worst-written movies that I've seen in decades.

I mean, it was really, really bad. But you guys are saying it's pure trash. I mean, the effects were fun. I'm going to say it right here right now. I think the costume work was good. And I think the CGI they used was effective CGI. What really pisses me off is that they cut away from all those. fucking kills. Just like Brian said, they had to go the PG-13 vanilla chocolate route,

and they ended up cutting out all these great opportunities for wonderful kills. So, like, if there's an R-rated version of this movie out there, I really want to see it, especially if they cut all the dialogue and quote-unquote character building. But other than that, you know, that's the only redeeming quality. So, yeah, you guys are kind of spot up. It's kind of trash. Um Yeah, this was It's one of those

Generic Teenage they die one by one Paint by Numbers movies You know? Like you said, One Miss Call or fucking any of the other 50 of them that they've done Uh

God damn what was that one before Smile That was so terrible that we thought was going to do Well, smile was pretty good though And still And Phil. And Phil, that's exactly what it is. Dude, it's just generic and fucking die one-by-one teenage. But these guys are, they're fucking, come on, man. This fucking movie, mm. It was terrible to me, bro. Oh, no, bro. Yeah. Yeah, it was the acting reminded me a little bit of bye-bye man. um uh ned was okay in it i enjoy seeing him

he seems like a good dude uh but that and i do i did like some of the cg i did the thing off in the shadows and all that um the gesture thing that was after ned i guess that's spoilers but i'm not sure i liked the way that looked that was kind of a dumb monster but I guess we'll get into that. All right, but yeah, it was, it was, it was, it was just okay at best, probably, probably less than that.

Fair enough, right? Scores. Al, what do you think? Yeah, man. Three. Three, Al. Higher than I thought. Brian.

I mean, Jesse, you make a movie it's hard to make you at three but fuck brian's a four what a four yep one on ten it wasn't sorry if you hear any noise in the background um trying to be like but it's four out of ten i didn't hate it but it's definitely nothing i'm ever going to watch again the the dialogue is horrible it's clearly a grown grown older people trying to this is how young people talk and interact with each other

I get it you're right greetings fellow kids and Phil you what you said you put that on the blue ray cover this movie was paint by numbers yeah it totally one by one

they get killed off until they figure out something and save the day at the end yeah and then they got to be convinced right before they can do that. Yeah. Takes one more death. Oh, I'm convinced. Oh, I'm sorry to interject, but have you seen a movie on Toby called Low Lives?

I've heard good things. Yeah, I've heard good things. Yeah, I mean, I can see the whole ending coming, but it's a good movie. The whole, I mean, it switched me up from the start. So I'm just, I'm not going to say shit else about that, but like, it's a good movie. It's dope. Yeah, Tube has some good. stuff, man. It's like, what happened? You gotta watch. You gotta watch. I mean, like, some shit is

crazy, some shit is stupid. Some shit is good, though. Does this mean that now Tooby's getting more I guess quality stuff? Are they eventually gonna start charging us? Oh, no. Don't say that. Oh, no. Please don't say that, bro.

Because I'm noticing like this. If Tobey tries to charge me, bitch, I ain't fucking pay for shit. Fuck that. Oh, they will. That was the original shit that pissed me off about the fucking NPD one. Yeah.

All access, CBS. Because it was like, oh, we're going to charge you and we're going to show you commercials. I'm like, ah, you can do one of the other, but not both. There's a same word, bro. There should be some kind of discount bundle. Yeah. It probably is. Like somebody that acquires.

It's called. It's called $15. It's called $20, little man, for fucking, the past. No, I mean, like, somebody, somebody acquires all these streaming services, and then, like, you get to pick and choose which one in a bundle and pay a discount price. Yeah, we've got to be headed there, don't you think? Because it's basically like cable now. If you want all the cable.

If you want all the streaming services, it's your paying. Amazon, I mean, Amazon, I got, I'm watching. I'm watching basketball right now on my Amazon right now, dude. Oh, yeah. And then baseball on Apple TV Plus. Yeah. You got soccer. Paramount.

On Paramount. On Paramount. Excuse you, Liz. You mean WWE? And in WWE. I don't even know what Teno that is, but because I don't watch. What? Brian could tell you.

Peacock. Soccer. it out of here. He said peacock. Hey, what happened with the fucking rock, man? Did he crash out? Brian, did the rock crash out? What happened to rock, bro?

Is he all right? It's just kind of looking like maybe he's not who he really is portrayed to be in Hollywood. He might be kind of a piece of shit, allegedly. He's definitely a piece of shit. A real time heel, huh? Hey, when he came back to wrestling a couple months ago when he was playing the heel,

it was the fucking best thing I've ever seen in years. That's what I've heard. The Rock as a bad guy. Yeah, pretty awesome. He was dropping F-bombs on live TV. Of course. But the Rock,

the rock, like in the early, what, 2000s when he was a hill playing against fucking, yo, he was great, dude. And I don't, I don't know, bro. I don't watch wrestling like that, but I mean,

they said he showed up like five hours late to doing this movie shit. Like, come on, Rock. Brian, you were talking about that. Yeah. That was on multiple days. Yeah.

Or they're basically the studios paying people to just sit there waiting for him. Yeah. That's terrible. Too much of his own tequila or something, huh? I know. Probably dead. Probably dead.

All right. Did we all give our scores? You didn't give a score, bro. What's your score? Oh, wait. Yeah, Lance. You go. I feel bad because I told you guys that y'all were being a little harsh.

And then y'all gave a three and a four. So when I give a two and a half, I'm going to really look like a heel. You're using your ratings. Don't always match up. There was no night swim, Brian. Did not see that. I really thought you and me were at a four. together.

Did you? Yeah. I'm at a four with you. So close. There you go. I think it was like it was almost good, but we'll get into a little more of it. Spoilers. Spoilers!

This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. You've been fucking warned. This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. You've been fucking warned. This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. You've been fucking warned. Spoilers. So the gesture thing was chasing.

That was, he was chasing Ned through the parking lot, right? Yeah. Yeah, when for some reason, they stopped and stared at each other, and the gesture was turning, head was turning upside down. Yeah. Ned, for some reason, tried to imitate him. I don't know what was happening there. It was kind of cool when he was in the parking.

Right, I think he had to ask him, right? No, I think Ned was part of his comedic character. Yeah. He was definitely the comic relief. He was kind of cool. He was a fool. Get it? When it was far away in the parking lot,

and it was like, he was kind of did a little spinning around thing. I liked the way they did those special effects, guys. I really did. When they got the elevator, though. I know. It was close up. It's not.

The motion bullshit. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I meant when I said. I like the design, but I didn't like the execution. Yeah. Okay. I totally get it. that.

The creepy lady in the attic was pretty good. Yeah. And that would have been a great kill if we would have seen it when he was bashing her with the attic ladder. Yeah. That was fucking great, dude. That could have been an awesome scene. Like in a Charles Band movie, where it just shows like a watermelon painted like

somebody's head. And they just slammed the fucking ladder into it. And then the evil bomb comes along. What are you talking about? That's Charles Van. That would be great. No, that's the only thing this movie was lacking. If it had gore, I would have easily given it a four.

But, you know. It can't make up with that cheesy dialogue. I love you, babe, but I don't love you. But we were Star-crossed. But I was told by the fortunes not to love you. But yeah, babe, but I love you. Oh, babe, okay, cool, I love you. That was terrible.

Yeah, the writers were like, yeah, this is how young people talk to each other. Oh, Lord. Wow. I thought Twilight. I don't even think regular people talk to each other

like that. Hey, guys, this is lit. This is lit. Oh, it reminds when I heard that line, it reminded me of, what's them?

Countdown. You guys remember we were reviewed the movie countdown about the killer app? Yes. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

When somebody said, when somebody said Yolo, I was like, fucking wrote this movie. Yolo, what is the 0.68 year.

2013, dude. 60, 60 year old screenwriter in a writer's room. No, love. It's going to be great. All the kids are saying it now. Hey, that's really cool.

Far out, dude. I got a lot. Not much to spoil, though, is there? I mean, just there's no spoilers. Just, I mean, the movies just trash. There's no spoilers you can.

It's, just trash dude they fuck around with some tarot cars they find right yeah somebody reads their fortune their I don't even know what the fuck you call it their fortunes or whatever they fucking all died by the way their car or where their fortunes were read final destination yeah exactly and then you got I don't know the actresses name I did recognize her he was from Mandy oh okay Hey, Brian, can we do a rewatch on Final Destination if we haven't done it already? I think we did one.

We did like the first two movies, right? Yeah, we're going to do three and four. All right. Yeah, yeah. These are good, bro. All right. It sounds like you guys are ready to wrap up for tonight and move on to watch something else. Yeah, I was just going to say that just you get to the part where they find the old wise lady who conveniently has been looking for the cards because she wants to destroy them.

and then they defeat evil and then you have that horrible after credit scene where I'm gonna just call him man because I don't remember his name in a movie yeah where he faked it all huh they put an after credit scene in this movie

dude it's not really after credits it's like oh my god I wouldn't say like 30 seconds into the credits yeah but you didn't you didn't miss anything out I'm sure 35 minutes in I was sleeping. Brian, there's your answer, Brian.

I think we definitely need a stupid people segment on this fucking show. Because everybody was completely ridiculous in this movie. It started out like a cabin in the woods where they were like parenting. Yeah, the fool, the joc, the whatever. Yeah, a horror movie. And then they go down into the basement looking for beer. and happened to come across a and then the blood

like the stones right with the blood trickling through the stones where the ruins are scraped into the stone just like in fucking cabin in the woods right? Yeah but it was like they were I don't think they were trying to be cabin in the woods I think they were really taking themselves

seriously and it was just bad Was this? They were just falling back on that. Hey Phil was this or two people we were watching where the what a book was blinking at them, didn't they like... It was probably a Tooby movie.

The book was blinking at him. I don't know what the hell? You got to tell us the name, dude. Maybe... In Cabot in the Woods? Was it produced by Charles Band? It was a TV, probably. Probably, yes, probably, yes.

Hey, you need to tell Beed and Marcy and crew about that for their Tooby Tuesdays. That's why Tubeby is so big now, guys. Bid and Marcy fucked it up for all of us. They made Tupi so incredibly popular that now they're going to be so cocky they're going to charge us.

Well, they have to charge us. Cswatch movies. Yes. And then Florida. That's it. Sasquatch film footage on Tubby. It's the best. I'm down.

Sign me up for that shit. It's always hard to find a good one, though, because half of them are so. fucking terrible. This is true. All right. All right. Thanks for joining us, dude.

I'm going to go watch something good. I got to cleanse my palate. I literally just got out of the theater guys, so I just saw this movie. Where you were at? You're at Merritt Island or are you in Coco Beach?

You're a Merritt Island and Cocoa Beach. Closer to Cocoa Beach. Yeah, closer to Cocoa Beach. Like Vieira, it's like right between Melbourne and Coco. Nice. So right on the space coast.

How do you like the beaches over there? Have you been surfing yet or what? Hell, no. Philip needs to come out here bringing a surfboard because our man Philip here happens to own, what, two surfboards, Phil? I have two of them. I might be too fat for him at the moment. You got to serve, bro. He got to serve, bro.

He just got a paddle. You just got to paddle, man. You got to work on your arm strength, and you'll be straight. just jumping you'd be good all right well Al was our official O band of the sea guys from here on out

Al is like a little salty captain the old salty sailor The rest of us are just SpongeBob Patrick and Starfish right SpongeBob Patrick and Who's the other one? I can't remember Patrick I don't know Sure

I'm going to watch basketball bro Hey, man, I appreciate you guys. Look, we appreciate you. Lance and Phil and Brian, man. I appreciate you guys. Appreciate you. Yeah. You guys, man, this is fun, man.

This is fun every time. Man, I appreciate it, bro. Thank you, guys. Next week, we're going to check up the Tripper and Founders Day. So, Phillip, until the horror returns again. Good night.