The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #429: Dead & Buried (1981) & Cuckoo (2024)

Episode Date: August 16, 2024

It's Strange Town week at The Horror Returns as we check out the cult Classic Dead and Buried and the brand new Cuckoo. Cool of the Week includes Huesera the Bone Woman, Fire Country, and Sting. Trailers are The Monkey and Scared Shitless. The podcast spotlight shines on Gruesome Magazine. And we get feedback from Cameron Sullivan, Barbara Murphy, Kurtis Smith, Simon Douglas, Miche Strole, Denise Bigger, The Hathaway House of Horror, Rober R Barney, and  Simon Andrew Luke Slattery. Thanks for listening! The Horror Returns Website: https://thehorrorreturns.com THR YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/@thehorrorreturnspodcast3277 THR Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thehorrorreturns THR Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thehorrorreturns/ Join THR Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1056143707851246 THR X: https://twitter.com/horror_returns?s=21&t=XKcrrOBZ7mzjwJY0ZJWrGA THR Instagram: https://instagram.com/thehorrorreturns?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= THR TeePublic: https://www.teepublic.com/user/the-horror-returns SK8ER Nez Podcast Network: https://www.podbean.com/pu/pbblog-p3n57-c4166 E Society Spotify For Podcasters: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/esoc E Society YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCliC6x_a7p3kTV_0LC4S10A Music By: Steve Carleton Of The Geekz

Greetings, victims, for those of you who delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify goal, welcome, you have found the place where the horror returns. Listeners beware, this podcast contains major plot spoilers. and the foulest of language. Join us in celebrating the old and the new, the best, and the worst in horror. Welcome back, one and all, to the horror returns. I'm Lance. With me as always, my co-host, Brian and Philip.

How's it going, guys? What's up? Good, man. Same shit, different day, you know. Yeah. All right, well, Brian, it's official. You and I will never get together again. You're literally on one end of the USA and I'm on the other.

We're going to set roots down here in Melbourne. We're staying in Florida. I appreciate you said we'll never get together. Dude, what is it like a 12-hour flight from Alaska to Melbourne, Florida? I guess it's about as far away from Alaska as you can get. It's like a flight to Europe or something, right? Not as bad as Asia, at least. He can see Russia from his backyard.

Yeah, I don't remember how long it took me last time I've been to Florida. I know I got there within the same day, so. So you have been to Florida before. That means at least there's hope, right? Yeah, I've been to Miami, Orlando. I think somewhere else, too. I can't remember. That was like almost 20 years ago.

Probably New Smyrna Beach. Have you ever heard of New Smyrna Beach, Florida? No, I don't think I'll be able to forget that name. The world's most dangerous beach. It has a 76.4 out of 100 scale on hurricane probability, and they average 184 shark attacks a year. No, wasn't there. Seriously?

Hey, where we are, it's like the ninth most dangerous beach in America. They average 19 shark attacks a year. here. That's like some Australian numbers, man. Why do you think they call it Melbourne, mate? We got nothing but like black tips out here. They don't really mess with you.

Although there was a six-foot hammerhead, like up on the bay. Yeah, like came up on the fucking, like beached himself and then went back in. Oh, shit. You got to bring your board out here, man. This is the best surfing in all of Florida. Oh, okay.

All right. Melbourne is the surf capital. of Florida. All right. I suck. We'll have fun. Brian, are you a surfer? I can't even swim, so I don't think it's, I'll take it's wise for me to get on a surfboard. Hey, I'll bet Ness could do it.

He's a skateboarder. It can't be that much different, right? Yeah. Except for the seasickness element. We need to ask him, has he been on a surfboard? We got to do that, man. We've got to do it. You guys have been pretty hot and heavy with the,

the extra shows lately. Tell us all about what's on there on the network. Yeah, me and as we do action returns, wrestling, returns, stream fiends, bonus episodes here and there. We used to put out a lot of extra shows and content, but lately just our lives wasn't just lining up and we managed to get two shows out. Well, that works. So what are the shows that are up right now? We did the brand new Roadhouse remake.

The Gilli-Hollong. That was a fun movie, man. It was. I'm going to watch it. And we were trying to catch up on wrestling. We did Money in the Bank, which was a couple months ago, and we are in the next couple days. I know last episode I said you probably hear of SummerSlam,

but we didn't get a chance to record it. It's my fault. But that's the next one up. All right. We'll check it out, man. Appreciate all that extra content. Keeps the network strong. That on all your Facebook shit that you're doing, dude.

You're getting reels up and everything else, man. What's up with that? Yeah, I'm just trying to... We've gotten a ton of new followers. I appreciate everybody that follows and comments and likes and shares all our new content. or so I'm just trying to supply the demand for there it is stuff for people to I guess to look at I don't know right do you know scrolling some shit that's not politics

yeah let's not go there yeah basically we got extra extra people so I just kind of up our our stuff that we post all right well that works nice yeah It's taken off, dude. We appreciate everything you do over there, man. That's your baby. All right. Cool of the week. Who's going first?

I'll go first. I only got two. I watched two very depressing movies. Okay. The first one, I think, came out last year. This was on a lot of top ten list. Cusera, the Bone Woman. Yes.

Oh, yes. Yeah, okay. I've seen it, but I was really drunk, so don't ask me if the plot was... It's subtitled in Spanish, so you do have to read some quite a bit throughout the movie. It's a woman going through a pregnancy, and she's got this entity attached to her. Oh, that's right. That's right. Okay.

There's a lot of body horror in it, and it's very well-filled, well-acted, the main... actress did a phenomenal job the body horror stuff was cool but it was just a lady that in my opinion probably didn't want to get pregnant or at least thought she did and what she did probably didn't want to and started going through all the you know depression during pregnancy and postpartum depression and she's got a possessed baby that'll happen little damien little damien Yeah, there was a lot of interesting stuff in there. It's definitely one of those, like, you know, she goes to some women to help, you know, fight the demon and they do some rituals. And it does make you want to, like, look up some stuff.

It's, like, fascinating. Uh, the bruhas. Yes. That's right. I like it. Then I watched another depressing movie. This one I think came out this year. It's on Shutter called The Dead.

devil's bath. The devil's bath. I've heard of it. This is a period piece. It's like, I don't know, set in like the 1600s, 1700s, something like that. Queen Victoria trying to give her cat a bath?

Now that's scary. I don't know where this takes place. This is again subtitled. It's some European country. This young lady, she gets married. It starts off like she's super happy with life, gets married, and then life isn't exactly how she thought it was going to be getting married,

and stuff happens to her. I don't want to really spoil anything because I think the movie just came out within the past month or two. So in the 1600s, would she even have a choice? Whether she wanted, weren't most marriages like arrangements like arrangements? range back then or it doesn't whoever is in your village or whatever

it kind of starts right when she gets married okay she's like she's definitely in my opinion happy to get married happy to who she's getting married to until he takes her to the house and then he explains I just bought this

house and she's like with what money and he's like the dowry I got for your wedding and plus I borrowed money so we're going to have to pay that back too all of a sudden Did he turn her out or what? No

There's an interesting plot twist with his character that I didn't see coming Okay And then there's the aspect That she thought They were going to live close to her family Which they don't

Where the house is It's not close to her family They live more closer to his mother And his mother Think she's pretty much useless Because she's not necessarily the hardest worker uh-oh

well that's that's a deal breaker in the 1600s yeah you had to do everything by hand and the movie starts with a fucking depressing why did we have to do that in the first 10 minutes scene they killed the dog

spoilers for everybody go ahead skip like 10 minutes it's a baby being thrown down a Waterfall and they show it from behind where she tosses the baby. I'm like, oh, that's fucked up. And then they cut to the beginning to the front and you see the baby tumbling down the waterfall. And that baby was Hercules.

He got out of the water like this with all of his fucking pecks. Which this, this was a separate lady that doesn't have nothing to do with the lady. But it comes back later in the movie. Gotcha. A lot of baby trauma. A lot of baby trauma in movies this year. Yeah, that's what I was... That's Lance.

I'm glad you brought that up. This one, Nightingale. Jesus Christ. Yeah, I was telling my daughter, I'm like, I don't... We need to watch some comedies or something. She's like, why? Yeah, no kidding. Because I've seen, like, in the past few months, I've seen three movies where babies

have getting killed. She's looking at me, like, what are you watching? Like brutally murdered killed. Yeah. Not like they died by natural causes. Yeah. Throwing off waterfalls and smashed with rocks. Slammed against a wall.

Yeah. Oh, man. Woo. Never going to get the blood out of this place. So that's all I got this week. Oh, I watched that first episode of the new Hard Knocks show on HBO. What team are they covering this year? Dub Bears.

Oh, nice. Okay. Okay, okay. Which is good because I'm interested in this new quarterback. Caleb Williams, I think is his name. Okay. This is a big superstar draft pick they drafted. It's supposed to be a quarterback.

They've never had the type of quarterback they never had in the history of the team. Hmm. Yeah. A lot of pressure on him. Yeah. Could be a big year. I'm trying to get back into football, but. Or not.

Everything I read about the Cowboys is awful. I think we have more teams here in Florida than you guys have in Texas. So there's that. We have three, right? Miami, Tampa, Tampa. Jacksonville. Jacksonville, yeah, that's right. Yeah.

So take that, Texas. San Antonio needs a team, except they're just. I know, man. They should have done one years ago. Yeah. I thought Redmond's got to bring on there. all right well i'll jump in mine's are oh hold on so brian which one wins out

for most depressing yeah most depressing is devil's bath but I would say I like you sarah the bone woman more all right but I do recommend both

to watch I wanted to check that one out I just kind of have to be in the mood for subtitled movie. Yeah, they're both subtitled, and I think I watch Hugh Serra on Shutter also. I think they're both on there. Okay.

But yeah, mine are not horror-related at all. And I actually only have one that I can think of off the top of my head, although I'm sure I'll come up with something at some point in the middle of the show.

But the only one I can think of is my wife has been watching Fire Country on Netflix. Oh, That finally made it to Netflix. Yeah. Man, what a cheesy. It's super cheesy.

What's fire country? So it's these, so it's like the, you know how they have like incarcerated firefighters in California? Yeah. Yes. Yeah.

So, all right. So like the story is based around and it's the brother of the dude from the Bates Motel. Okay. Oh, okay, I got you. Okay, yeah. And so he's, he's all royd

it out and got long hair now. Does this at one point take place in the forest? Yeah. It's a lot of what you're talking about. Yeah, because that's what they do is they stop the forest fires, right? They're digging lines and all that shit. And it's a stupid, cheesy, like,

CW-style show, but it's fun. It's like, it's easy watching. Yeah, it makes me go maybe I should have been a firefighter because I got a buddy or a convict, right? And then be forced to be a firefighter in California.

Even better. It was almost a cop. That's right. But no, my best friends are a firefighter and he'd been trying to get me into it for years. I can be it, I'll know. Yeah, my daughter's mom, her cousin, was one of those firefighters where they dropped them

into the forest fires. It's pretty cool. Oh, wow! Right in the middle of it, huh? Yeah. Forgot what they're called. Something jumpers, right? Like flame jumpers?

Oh, yeah. Fire jumpers, something like that. There was a movie about it. Yeah, with the... What's his name? Ex-football player? How we... How we...

How we went down? Yeah, I remember that one. No, this actually is... I thought I had already seen it because I thought it was a movie at first, because there's a movie that is just like it. And I can't remember the name of it. But it's kind of the same concept.

This ex-con comes into this fire jumper academy or whatever. Right. You're never going to make it. You can't follow the rules. And of course, it's him not following rules that saves lives. Of course. As happens. That kind of situation.

Anyway, it's fun, but that's about all I've watched this week. Oh, wow. So Fire Country is your Cool of the Week on the Horror Returns. Yeah, that's all I got. That's all right, man. Cool of the Week is Cool of the Week, right? It could be anything. It would be a rock concert, right?

So it's cool. All right, you guys ever seen that movie that's been out a couple of months? So it had a limited theatrical run here, a Spider movie, Sting. No, it's on the list, though. It's a fun movie, man. It's really fucking fun movie. It's directed by Wormwood, the Wormwood director. That it is.

That it is. It's not as out there as Wormwood, like with all the, you know, using zombies to fuel your cars and shit like that. It's not that far-fetched. But the opening sequence, you would enjoy, Philip, because it's obvious that it's alien. in nature. If you watch that very first opening sequence in the show.

And then once the little girl starts raising the spider, it's like, this little fucking kid is evil, man. It's like, one of those little girls like, Mommy and Daddy, I must kill you. I get a big spider. It's like, this chick is something. But there's some heartwarming stuff toward the end with her and the stepdad, and that's cool.

Then you got some really fucking hilarious bug inspectors. I got a little bit of a vibe of, um, what was that one we saw with um help me out here Brian erachophobia oh no arachnophobia

yeah it had some of that with the with the you know people that were trying to eliminate the bugs and stuff but I gotcha

you know fun movie I don't want to give away any of the kills it's uh it I'd call it almost a horror of comedy but Brian you're gonna you're gonna enjoy it

you're gonna enjoy it I'll try to check it out before next week all right or save it for our 31 days if you want. Oh, well, trust me. We'll have plenty.

You find out every year there's always plenty of bullshit to watch. I'm going to do what I did last year, Brian, in 2024 movies only. Yeah, me too. So it's working out pretty well.

All right, cool. Brian, you got us some horror headlines? Horror headlines. Let's see. Crawl 2 is currently in development with Alexandra Ajae returning. What's the hell we're going to do after that?

There's plenty of hurricanes somewhere. Yeah, here in Florida. Seems like an awful way to wait to make a sequel to that one. Yes, that's kind of weird timing, huh? They didn't jump on the bandwagon right away. Last week, we talked about the horror video game until Don Peter Stormer was reprising his role. from the video game for the movie,

production has begun. Nice. Okay. Always love Peter Stormair. Yeah, he's a great actor. I like him. Especially when he has a Russian accent. Yes, he does that, kill it.

Did you guys like Zach Snyder's Army of the Dead? Loved it. Love it. It was in my top 10 that year. That wasn't bad. His sequel Planet of the Dead is reportedly no longer in development at Netflix. Oh, no!

We were going to get a TV series and everything, man. Yeah, supposed to get an animated series, a spin-off series. Like, they had a whole universe planned. Bummer, bummer. I don't know that that's all necessary, man. I never even watched the one with the Safe Cracker guy. That was pretty fun. Was it?

Brian, I think that's where they fucked up, though. It was fun, but it had nothing to do with the apocalypse except they kind of mentioned it or something. Yeah, they should have stuck with the storyline. Yeah, you're right, Lance, because you would hear about it, like on news reports on a TV in the background, or somebody would mention something going on in this city, but you'd only know it was connected. If you watched the Army of the Dead, then you would know the Safecracker Guy. It wasn't quite as disconnected as like the Cloverfield movies to each other, but it was close. That's a different story because they, from what I understand, what was it, 10 Cloverfield Lane and the Cloverfield Paradox were completely different movies and they just had it rewrote it to be Cloverfield movies.

Well, especially the Cloverfield Paradox. That had nothing to do with anything. Yeah. It's not that great either. Good marketing, though, because I remember seeing the trailer for what was it, the Super Bowl? Yeah, because it came on like right after the Super Bowl or something. Yeah, it was like, watch the Cloverfield Paradox right after the Super Bowl. And I was like, shit, all right? Yeah, no kidding.

I was like, all right, give it to me. That was one of those moments when your Netflix account went up $2 a month, right, in one fail swoop. Oh, not cool the week. Fucking peacock is going to $2. What? The cock. what a bunch of cock What else did you expect

It to get fucked from the cock I'm like I and you know what I thought about cutting it But it's me and Nez Do the wrestling returns And that's that's where the WWE network is

So gotta keep it But Yeah Ted got some pretty decent stuff too Man I'll give them some credit I'm probably more than Netflix At this point Like Netflix is easier to scroll through for me

but I guess I kind of get bored you know like Netflix the Netflix has been cut over here yeah what do you mean I only get Netflix now if I have something I want to watch oh I got you so watch

Cobur Kai yeah done with Cobur Kai killed Netflix didn't renew it the only thing I'm interested next to watch is Squid Games 2 and that's not even until December So. Oh, well, there you go.

Yeah, plenty of time. Save some money. Which, yeah, Squid Games, too, uh, coming in December. I think late December and they already announced the third season and the third season will be the final season. Oh, Squid game. Okay.

Yeah. Okay. I know they need to hurry up and bring back that a Squid Game show because that was pretty fun. That actually was a lot of fun. Yeah. That same dude was on some other Netflix thing, too. Oh, the athletic guy?

Yeah, I think it was a dating show, though. Yeah, my daughter just told me about that. She was like, I just seen him on some dating show, and I was like, what guy? She was like, the guy we have both hated. I was like the football player or whatever he was. The douche. Yeah, but you knew he wasn't going to go far. Yeah.

He was making way too many enemies. That's true. He was definitely way too loud, but I totally got along with this guy. All right. Phil, James Juan, and talks to actually direct something. What? He's still doing that? Preacher from the Black Lagoon Remake. Okay. Well, he's got to take that one. He can't just give that one to somebody else. Yeah. I think it would be a good fit.

His writing buddy, Lee Wannell. He's currently directing. the Wolfman remake for Universal so why not have James Wine? All right. I'll take that. Evil Dead Rise star Lily Sullivan is set to star in the

Mithregan spin-off Soulmate. Okay. The one we kind of speculated might have to do with like sex robots or something. Oh, well that makes sense. I mean, because you know

if the first like realistic robots are 100% going to be sex robots but I don't know if you guys seen that trailer with Megan Fox they've this I think it's called movie of subservants

or something they've already beaten Soulmate because she plays an android and in the trailer sex worker the guy no it's like a replacement for his dead wife to kind of take care of the house

and help take care of his kid. But in the trailer, it clearly indicates that he fucks Megan Fox and she wants to take over. So, so made... That's exactly right. My ex-wife looks like Megan Fox, too, and I need a sex robot of her right now.

I mean, a cleaning robot. And, of course, the internet is undefeated. They've now, after the trailer, dubbed her Mithrigan Fox. My three... Oh, God. That is hilarious. That is hilarious. but it looks it looks pretty interesting movie i just feel kind of bad for soulmate because

it kind of looks like what soulmate was supposed to be well they should have done it a year ago then mithridan made a lot of money for them that you know i imagine we're going to have a bunch more ii movies here pretty oh yeah yeah as as it gets more prominent suddenly the matrix is not looking so sci-fi ah yes true let's see final destination blood lines last time we talked about it they were talking about it going straight to max okay something has happened

because now it is getting a three theatrical release and it will be an iMacs oh wow that's be a good movie yeah something happened maybe they screen some of the footage and the exec was like

this cannot go to max directly this needs to go to theaters which one was this Final Destination Bloodlines. Oh, dude. Sold. A final destination movie in the theaters? Let's get it. And finally, just announced a couple days ago,

we've got a Friday the 13th game. We've got a Texas Chainsaw Masker game. Last year, I think last year, we got an Evil Dead game. Coming from the Evil Dead, the game developers were getting two Halloween games. and John Carpenter is involved with the development also. Okay. You played the Evil Dead game? I bought it.

Never opened it. It looked pretty cool. I know it has the characters from like the show. And I think you can pick which character you want to be. Oh, that's cool. All right. That's why I stopped buying video games because I never have time. they end up sitting on the shelf and the plastic.

Yeah. I keep like, I'll get a video game and maybe play through it. Like, I'll be obsessed with it for like a week. And if I can't beat it that amount of time, then it just stops. So. So we get playing through Spider-Man now. So that was a worth ball by. I want to play Spider-Man so bad.

My daughter just, she didn't just get it. It's at her mom's house. But she got a PS-5. Oh, nice. And I'm just like, your mom doesn't even know how to operate a PS5, so it's probably just sitting there. Mm-hmm. Bring it here. Bring it over here.

Yeah. I'm sure your daughter knows that operate it, right? Oh, she, sometimes I got to ask her stuff. Oh, yeah, that's how it goes. That's how it goes. I had a problem on her Instagram page, our show's Instagram page. I had to refer to her. She was like, oh, you need to go on settings and go to this and switch that.

I was like, oh, thank you. Good thing she's there, huh? Thank you, intern. All right, that's the news. All right. Philip, you ready to go on down to the trailer park? Let's go. All right, well, then drive out to Florida, man.

There's plenty here. All right, right. Now, until the next hurricane comes through. That's right. Brian is going to bring us the big, the small, and sometimes the very, very weird. Brian, what's our first new trailer we've talked about tonight?

First one is a teaser, fresh off the success of Long Legs, Osgood Perkins. Oh. Stephen King's The Monkey. Lance, have you read this short story, right? Yeah, I have read it. I don't remember it because it was like

in one of his very first anthologies, so I probably read it. I'm going to say, Jesus Christ, 35 years ago 30 years ago I am showing my age man we're old get off my lawn

and I believe this is also not only directed by Osgood Perkins but is produced by James Wand there you go of course

you produce me a fucking latte the cracket this stars Theo James he looks familiar Theo James Osgood Perkins

is going to be in the movie Yeah He does so much Oz or Osgood It seems like it just switches it up Right He goes back and forth doesn't it I think he goes by Oz

Because I think there's another Famous person from back in the day Name Osgood Perkins Okay That makes sense Let's see who else Yeah that's the old school name Although Oz is pretty cool

Got to say Tatiana Mislani, She-Hulk is in this. Okay. Elijah Wood. All right. Head and see him in Wall. And a bunch of other people. I've always been an Elijah Wood fan, man.

Like, he's such a little weiner, but, like, he makes good movies. He has such good ideas because he was asked what, if he can remake a horror movie with his company. I think it's Spector Vision. Mm-hmm. Okay. And he's had such a good idea for a nightmare on Elm Street, because he's, like, a true, like, horror fan.

Oh, I bet you he would do a good nightmare on Elm Street. Yeah, I think his cousin, not his, he's a company. I think they did Mandy and stuff like that. Hmm, good stuff. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah. Good stuff. He's a cool guy, man.

He's involved in a lot of stuff. Yeah, and apparently, according to Nez, because Nez met him at Comic-Con, I think, was on the elevator with him. Do not stare into his blue eyes. Okay. He'll steal your soul. And my daughter agrees. He just dyes his hair brown.

My daughter agrees because we were, well, we watched some movie, and he popped up in it. And she was like, his eyes are so blue. And I was like, no, stop. Don't stare at his eyes. You'll fall in the pit and never come out. But what did you guys think? A little short teaser. Don't really know what to make of it.

It's Stephen King, Oz Perkins, James Wan. I mean, that's got me sold. Yeah, I don't think you can really put James Wan's name on it if it's James One. You're getting pissed now. You're taking the person. Well, I'm just like it's not really fair. Like, he's produced a lot of shit when he has no say in anything. Somebody has to pay for the movie, Philip.

Yeah, I know. But that's all he does. He's the money man at that point. Right. Oh, that sounds like a good idea. He's the pen. He's the penit. Yeah.

But that doesn't mean that he had anything at all to do with the movie. The creative part of it, yeah. Yeah. True. Let's see. Cheat. When twin brothers Bill and Hal find the. find their father's old monkey toy in the attic a series of gruesome death start so would this

theo james be playing dual roles lans could be i don't okay now that kind of struck a chord now the what i do remember about the book is or the story novella whatever you want to call it is there was one scene where like the guy was laying in bed and he could hear the symbols from the monkey and he would turn around and the monkey wasn't there and then like they were getting closer and closer so it's creepy joy yeah it is really fucking creepy so um yeah on this movie man you had me at osgood perkins this this dude can do no wrong by me right now that's fair os perkins is is like yeah he he's been killing it lately so uh can't complain too much yeah i agree i don't know there would be much james juan influence because if you go back and look at os perkins movies they're so specific to what he does

that I don't know if maybe James want to just help get the movie made I don't know if he's going to have any input No I'll tell you that right now So this is due to hit theaters

I'm sorry Phil February 21st 2025 Well I guess that's not terrible At least we're rolling up on that time Yeah. I did actually check out Monkey Man at one point in the last couple of times. And I was a little disappointed, I was. A little bit, too. I was a little bit too.

I expected more action. Like, it had pretty cool action scenes, but it was kind of long and slow. It had a lot of that Hinduism that like, you know, be one with the universe type weird shit. Well, which is cool. I don't mind that. But like, it took forever to get there. Like the acts, the badass action scenes were all like in the last 20 minutes in the movie. Yeah, I was going to check it out. I was sold on the trailer. Then a couple people told me that basically the same thing you did.

It was more of a slow burn than the John Wick action. Yeah. It wasn't bad. Yeah, it wasn't horrible. I should probably watch it because it's on Peacock and now they're up in $2. You get everything I can out of it. you gotta get every drop out of the top as well i think that's where i watched it i was like oh i always kind of wanted to watch that what is on peacock that is fantastic is abigail oh yeah yes i

rewatch that last week with a j great movie all right our second trailer is scared shitless brian did they show us guys in this trailer? Yes, dangling when he was sitting in the toilet. Is that allowed? I just say my daughter was watching the trailer with me, and I felt a certain way when I did. They showed the nuts.

I looked over at her, and then she had just like, ugh. Yeah, we just kind of just didn't say nothing after that. A male genitalia is not particularly, attractive, especially the sack. They show to the nuts. The daintling of nuts. Lance, the reason why I chose this trailer,

because I believe Stephen Kazanski, who directed Psychogorman. Oh. I believe he did all the practical effects for this movie. Did he make a fake nut? I bet he made a fake nut sack. You know he did, man.

Knowing Knowing from what we've seen of his movies, definitely. For sure. And something's going to happen to those nuts. And the only person I recognize from the trailer is Stephen Og from The Walking Dead, Lance. Okay. I don't remember who that is specifically. He was one of Negan's right-hand guys? The guy with a disfigured face?

I can't remember. We don't want to go down this rabbit hole, man. Yeah, I'll take your word for it. He was one of Deegan's guys. Stephen Og. Oh, the guy that plays the plumber. Yeah. Okay.

Oh, right. With the mustache. Okay. Yes, yes, yes. He was good. He could have fucking killed Nagan and taken over. He was pretty fucking scary. Yeah.

And who else? Oh, Julian Richings. he's been in a lot of war movies Oh yeah Oh yeah So they got some recognizable faces Some good practical effects I know you were taken back by the CGI fire

I get to say I'd go on the limb and say Not all effects in this movie were practical Just a wild guess from that opening scene But I'm a big fan of Stephen Kazansky A lot of if you go back and watch live His movies If you like them or not you can't deny

The practical effects are amazing Oh, for sure, for sure. So I'm definitely going to check this one out. And I like a good horse. This is probably going to be so bad it's good, but it might be so bad. We'll see. Yeah. But at least they're shooting for the comedy aspect of it.

So how bad can it be? They know what they are, right? Yeah. This one, I don't think it has a release date yet. Looks like a direct video to me. It is doing the festival rounds. Okay. Pick up a few awards and then go to TB.

Yep. Seems like the way to go these days. All right. I think there's some people making bank on TB from what I hear. Is it just the... Where does their money come from? Just the advertising revenue or what? Well, they show enough ads during movies.

That's the shit. be coming through like that. Yeah. I wonder if they get paid more than we're getting paid for our reels right now, which is zero. Ah,

we'll get them. All right, that's it. All right. Listen to feedback. I was not prepared. Here we go. This week, we shine the podcast spotlight on Groo.

magazine. All right. Cool. Yeah. Old horror news radio days, Brian. Yeah. There it is. The grew crew behind

Grusome magazine.com gathers to review the latest horror film available on BOD streaming and from independent filmmakers. Searching for the diamond

in the rough. If it is scary, gory, and creepy or just blindly, what the fuck, gruesome magazine will suffer the bad and champion

the great Yeah, but listen to many a show Haven't we, Brian? Yeah. Oh, definitely. Rest in peace, Black Saint. Oh, man. Yeah. Then they've got

the decades of horror show on there now where they do the 70s and the 80s and all that. They're all over the place. And I've never seen podcasters who diligently go to so many horror conventions. These guys are always somewhere. Oh, yeah.

All right. And in regards to the films covered in last week's episode Cameron Sullivan says nice mixture all right thank you well thank you stage fright was a wild one although I guess it sort of made sense

oh yeah the killer out was that the same owl from late night with the devil from the bohemian grove looked like it that's right that's what it gave me

thought so I think that's where they got the idea from, don't you? I wonder if it's the real bohemian grove owl. Could be, man. Barbara Murphy says, Hi, guys, I just found your podcast and listen every day starting from the beginning.

Oh, wow. Then I found you on YouTube and love watching you as does my cat. Great show, definitely five stars. Cool, that's humbling. That's humbling. That was pretty awesome. Love to hear that.

You even went back to the dark days. Yeah. Yeah, the ones where we had to. Take all the music out. And thank you to Barbara's cat. Yes. There you go. That maybe came out wrong. You could have said it a different way. It became not really wrong, but it would be.

Brian posted a poll. Who is the better final girl and why? Cast your vote, leaving us a comment and like and follow us. Jamie Lee Curtis is killing it over Heather Langham camp right now with 85% of the vote. But there's still time to cast your vote. And I believe that has grown even more, so I think it's pretty well decided.

Yeah. Well, go check it out anyway. Maybe you can make a fourth quarter run there. Check out the Horror Returns Facebook page for that. If you're not a member, please become one. It is awesome. Post all kinds of good stuff. Well, Brian posts all kind of good stuff. Let's

be fair. In regards to long legs, Curtis Smith says, worst film I've ever seen. Wow! Respect your opinion, sir, but I think you are completely wrong. It's a fucking guy, yeah? It was a weird take on a

like crime thriller. You know what I mean? Like it was just, it was a little bit slow and archie for that style of film. So it was a little bit... It's been out long enough. I think we can say, or I'll say, I was totally surprised by the supernatural element. Yeah, I actually liked that. I thought that was pretty cool. Yeah, I, Kate from Eternal Darkness said that there was like a whole mythology that

Osgood Perkins wrote up about the backstories of Long Legs and the characters. You've all heard about this? Oh, no, that's cool. Yeah, like, we're... Just whole stuff to characters that we didn't even get in the movies. that's how far he went into creating this movie. Nice. And apparently what Nick Cage's character used to be like a glam rocker,

they get too much plastic surgery or something? Oh my God, he's Vince Neal. Oh, no! It suddenly makes sense. Now you get it. In regards to House of Usher, Simon does. Douglas says loved fall of the house of usher genuinely thought it was some of Flanagan's best work Nice it was really good man he's been he's been killing it with every TV series that he's put out and I'm really excited for the Stephen King thing if that happens is that a thing?

He's doing The Dark Towns Yeah, that one When is that coming out? Do you all know? They're filming it right now What's he filmed? Life of Chuck. That's a different Stephen King story.

Oh, okay. Well, I don't know if it is. It's got Tom Hiddleston, Loki. Oh. All right. Boy, you put those two together. I think they'll create something pretty cool. Yeah, I mean, Mike Flanagan and Loki.

Yeah. Yeah, right. Can't complain about that. Let's see. Pan's Labyrinth. Michael Stroll says one of the best movies in my catalog. Nice. is a classic.

Silence of the lambs. Rob Cave says, Vote Lecter in 2024. That might be a hard sell. Maybe not. He'll just eat the other candidates. He'll eat through the competition. They'll have to keep replacing candidates,

and not just because of him dementia. we're going to rule the world though oh man in regards to the others um anthony cadiz says uh one of a handful that you could not see the plot twist immediately very well made

agreed I like that movie a lot and I'm not a huge what's her name fan Nicole Kidman yeah but I will say it's one of those movies I don't think it's a great rewatch Yeah, kind of like the sixth sense.

Yeah, exactly. All right. In regards to session nine, that was good. Yeah, a little obscure. The Hathaway House of Horror says, Love This Movie. Denise Beggars says it's one of the best very underrated. Yeah, it actually is.

Session 9 is a great one. If you haven't seen that one, put it on the list. Let's see, Dead and Buried. Hey, the movie we're covering tonight. Robert R. Barney says this is one of the very few horror movies that actually scare me. What? Okay.

Simon Andrew Luke Slattery. That's a lot of names. Says, great movie. And that's it for listener feedback tonight. Intro comes from Steve Carlton Geeks. Original skull artwork comes from Natsulhune. check both them out. And if you'd like to help us out,

please consider becoming a Patreon, patron. We'll let you pick the movies for a future show at any amount, and for $5 or more a month, also pick a commentary for a future bonus show. And I guess we're still doing it. For now. Join at the $5 tier and stay with this at least three months. You get six coosies, a t-shirt.

They're pretty badass t-shirts. Really super comfortable. I lost mine. I don't know where the fuck it went. How do you lose a shirt? I don't know. Good thing you can buy another one. Oh, yeah. I have to. You'll know when you find it when you see somebody wearing it. I know.

There you go. How did you get my shirt? I think you're talking to my wife. But yeah, great shirts. And a pop figurine, which is probably worth more than the 15 bucks you're going to spend on three months worth of a Patreon. I'm saying that's a phenomenal deal seriously the shirt about the money it's about the goods it's about the moistened ice yeah

great shirts very comfortable I'm a t-shirt guy most of the time even though I'm wearing this bullshit today all right dead and buried onto our featured attractions all right this is the road to potter's bluff

maybe you've been there clean, picturesque, full of old-fashioned friendliness, the kind of town everyone likes to visit. This is the road to Potter's Bluff. There is no road out. Welcome to Potter's Bluff. From the creators of alien, terror brought down to earth, dead and buried. Is there any way whatsoever to reanimate people after they have died to get them to walk around? That guy, the one you came to see me about last week, but to die. Sheriff Dan Gillis investigates eerie deaths in a sleepy coastal town. All right.

Director is Gary Sherman, also known for Pultureguise 3. Writers are Jeff Milar, Alex Stern, and Ronald Shusset. That's a hard one. And Dan O'Bannon. I ran out of space. And Dan O'Bannon. Stan Winston's special effects went beyond creating gore for the film.

The figure in the full body cast lying in George Le Moyne's hospital bed was a mechanical dummy built by Winston. A lifelike detail and elaborate movements of the dummy was rigged to make it give the appearance that a real person

makes the... that it's a real person and makes the infamous needle eye stab all the more startling. I thought that was a person. I thought it was too. They did a pretty damn good job. Look at that, practical effects from 1981. Yeah, beat CGI fire any day, right?

That's your fucking excuse. And I think, I don't know if it's Dan O'Bannon, I think he wanted to be left off as one of the writers. Really? Because I think he... Regretted it after? No, I think what he contributed, they didn't use. Oh.

And he was like, if you didn't use what I wrote, don't put my name on there. And I think it was too late by then. Fair enough. I would feel the same way. I think it's Dan O'Bannon or one of the other writers. Dead and Buried. Lance, you want to start us off? Yeah, this is really cheesy, man.

Like that very opening scene where the dude, the photography. on the beach and you get the porno music playing like with a saxophone and shit she's like that was great it was pretty fucking great dude yeah it was pretty fucking great man this this is one of those movies that like kind of knew what it was i i thought there were there were like some kind of slow parts leading up to the to the ending but once you got to that third act like for me that third act made the movie like all bets were off. It was just like one Twilight Zone episode that, okay, cool, so that's how it's going to end, and then they have another

twist, and then you're like, oh, shit, wow, they're burying him, so that's how it's going to end, and then you get another twist. And it was like, oh, no! That was fucking nuts, man. So, yeah, this was a really, really original movie. It was, I don't know,

it was so much fun to watch. So, okay, so what all were they making commentaries about? Obviously, plastic surgery, right? Was was plastic surgery just starting to be a big thing, like when this movie was made or what? I'm not too sure. Yeah, because I think the 80s, right? Like repairing the zombie stuff?

Yeah, I definitely saw some like, it kind of like death becomes her sort of picked up on that later. But I definitely saw some of those vibes and then like, you know, following the leader. Like, you know, this, this old man, you know, that looks like a friendly grandpa. in fact it was grandpa do from charlie the chocolate factory yeah it was his uh final final movie oh man he died he died a couple months after but did he but did he all right he would say i'm i'll be dead but i won't be gone ha ha ha ha ha ha yeah man this was a lot of fun this was a lot of up from his hospital bed in hell. Yeah, that's right.

I had no idea that this was going to take the turns it did. It started to lose me a little bit, a little over halfway through, and I'm like, that's not how zombies act. And then you saw the teacher in the school, the, you know, the ship, their deputy or sheriffs or whatever wife talking about the ritual and all that. It's like, okay, well, we know what's going to happen. This is for sure. We know she's one of them.

But, yeah, the final twist got me good. I didn't see that coming at all because I was. Oh, yeah. How come this one sheriff is the only person in this whole town that seems to be sane? And then at the end, you find out, hmm, okay, all was not as we thought it was. Yeah, he just didn't remember. He couldn't remember. I was going to say, it seems like that it killed the sheriff at the beginning, but I guess.

Well, it was cool seeing Freddie Krueger in an early role, right? Yeah. Yes. Yeah, it took me a second to realize that was him. Yeah, he just looked like an all-American boy. Remember, Romero changed what zombies are. True. Before that, it was like this.

They were like... Just like hypnotized or whatever. In your will from like voodoo priests and shit. Yes. New Orleans. Very true. That's a good point, man. That's a good twist.

What did you guys think about the movie? Brian? I loved it. I had a lot of fun. This is my second time watching it. I think I watched it for the first time a couple years ago. I heard it was kind of like a cult classic. It has some rewatchability, that's for sure.

Yeah, I have not heard of it, but if it's called a cult classic, it has to be for a certain reason. And I agree with you, Lance. This is a lot of fun, especially that opening sequence. Like, I agree with you. I loved it. The slow, sexy porn music that was playing, I'm like, this guy's...

Right. he's about to get it in with this lady that comes, for a second I completely forgot how the movie went, even though I've already watched it. I thought they already knew each other and they were playing some kind of game.

Yeah, well that would make more sense than what happened. Yeah, she kind of lures him in and then they beat the shit out of him. Yeah, I fucking burn him. I love practical effects. Right? Stan Winston is definitely

a legend. What was the pictures? I'm assuming for for the, for Grandpa Joe to do his repair work. Oh. That makes sense. Yeah. Well, he was a very talented mortician, huh? To take a burned husk of a body and turn it into a fully walking, talking, sentient, you know, fully skinned human.

Well, you find out later he's been doing experiments on corpses for a long time. because he used to be like a high level whatever I forgot I forgot what kind of doctor but he had a high level job before and he got in trouble with doing experiments so he's been doing this for a while so he's a master

of the game yeah the only thing that kind of takes it out a little bit for me is the actor that plays the sheriff I couldn't tell if he was like really putting into acting or if he was just

fucking being over the top. There was... Coked out of his brains. Yeah, there was James James Farentino a share of Dan Gillis. There's some scenes where I'm like you're putting, you're doing a pretty good job

of acting and then other scenes he's just flying completely over the fucking top. That's a good point. And I just couldn't understand it. 1881 baby he didn't he did not see his uh he just couldn't believe he couldn't see his wife as being a little odd Yeah especially with the whole teaching voodoo and stuff to children in class That's when you're like wait hold up what? Because clearly she's not done stuff like this before and now it's just a great idea to teach death and voodoo and all

kinds of stuff, raising the dead. With the sacrificial dagger? Yeah, maybe don't take that to a bunch of kindergartners. Which, it did lead to a great scene, though, with the reveal that she is one of them and he shoots her. Right. Yeah. And then later, she's just begging him to bury her because she doesn't want to be that way no

more. Right. I thought that was a great scene. And then, of course, the reveal that he. is one of them. He turns around in his hands, his fingers are falling apart and Grandpa Joe's just like I can fix that for you.

A little lip here, a little tuck there, huh? There you go. But super fun movie. The effects are good. I say it's not so bad it's good, but it's kind of bordering on that level. It's a fun

one. Yeah, maybe. but I don't even know that I'd call it bad like this is a movie that that started out and I was like ah great

an old 80s jeezing for movie here we go and then man this one sucked me in it had me paying attention to it which is great

because some of them don't yes it's the rare one but yeah I'd like there was so much wild stuff going on here um

I don't even think it was really that bad. I think it was just really interesting. They had a good storyline that was kind of unlike anything that I've seen before. Yeah, pretty unique, right? Yeah. And really the only thing killing it is that it's from 1981. Like, if they re-made this one today, it could be a really good movie. Yeah.

It's out there now. down the universe for i would like them to kind of put more emphasis on um because basically they were like people that would come into town they would kill them and then make them like them to add to the city this small little town i kind of would like to see what happens if because it's it's a small little town now but what if they keep adding people the town grows and grows and grows Why were they murdering people? Because, like, I feel like the sheriff seemed to have his own little, like, his own free will. Seemed to, yeah.

The rest of the townspeople were just like, oh, you're like an alive person. We're going to have to murder you. Doesn't seem to make that much sense. That's a part, is it? Well, I think they'd rather make people like them instead of just because... normal people probably won't react well to being around a bunch of zombies well that's probably true and i think he he was the sheriff was just the one that just kind of it took him a while for some reason when he became one of them he retained all his old memories up until the point he died so he just

maybe he was the newest member it had a little bit of a town that dreaded sundown kind of a feel to it. But yeah, man, I actually dug it. I thought it was a pretty good movie. I was surprisingly impressed with it, especially from, you know, 1981. Right. All right. Scores, Lance.

Seven. Seven. Okay. Yep. Brian? Seven and a half. Seven and a half. All right.

Yeah, I think seven and a half is a good score for this one, man. I thought it was pretty interesting for what it was. Like, it totally grabbed my attention and sucked me in. And that doesn't, like a lot of these older movies that are pretty cheesy, man.

I'll start playing with my fucking phone and I'm not paying attention to it. And this one made me put the phone down and watch it. I liked it. All right. On to the next one. The brand new Cuckoo!

If I were you. Why did you bring us here? Your family belongs to you. That's a fucking weird way to put it. You told the police that you were chased by a woman. I think I'm crazy. Nature is quite remarkable.

It feels so good. Species need our help. Our quest for preservation. From 2024, a 17-year-old girl is forced to move with her family to a resort where things are not what they seem. Director and writer is Tillman Singer, also known for Luce and El Fend de Mundo. Originally scheduled to release on May 3rd, but it was delayed until August 9th for undisclosed reasons. Uh-oh, I think we have a conspiracy on our hands.

I think that had to do with the strike and stuff like that. well that probably makes more sense but why would they not disclose it huh aliens brian that's why you've cracked it open all right well since lance ran off do you want to start us out on kuku yeah um i actually ended up really liking this movie i thought it was weird to the point not to the point where i couldn't follow anything because i think if it would have got too weird then i would have kind of checked out with it. I thought the lead actress Hunter Schaefer, I thought she did a great job.

Dan Stevens, again, this guy, killing it. Every fucking role, he is just, he's now, okay, let me stress this first. He is a great actor.

I've seen him put to work in, but when he hams it up, he is a lot of fun, and he was hamming it up in here. You think? And just, just, Hunter Schaefer with her being serious and then

Dan Stevens on the other side being kind of kooky and wacky. Right. It worked for me and then you got the Jessica Henwick. I don't know if you guys have seen her before, but I did not even know that was her in this movie. She played the ball. The one from Daredevil, right? Yeah. It was it not Daredevil? Iron Fist, I think. Yeah, Iron Fist. Okay.

I did not recognize her as the mother Wait a minute, that was the mother? Oh, holy fuck, I didn't recognize her either. She's grown, or she looked older somehow. I think they just made her look older than the mom. Wow, I did not even realize that was her. And I thought the production was good, the cinematography, the direction, the direction. Love the story.

I think I was able to figure out what was going on. were you a little bit quicker than I should have but other but that didn't take the fun out of me and then the the reveal I thought was pretty cool and I kind of wanted that's probably the one little drawback I kind of wanted more on what was going on with the experiments I guess that's all I can really say about that I have a lot of questions but I'm going to save them to sweat up okay well i'll just pass it over to lance because i feel like i'm getting close to spoiling some stuff it's going to be hard not to spoil this one i i would say yeah brian everything brian said is

is is true well most of everything brian said i thought was true i you know i have some questions about the story but we'll get into that but yeah actress was phenomenal like totally channeling a young, a very, very young Jody Foster. Like, you've seen a lot of those older Jody Foster movies like Candlewick and stuff like that. That was fucking spot on. I see it now. Not that you say it. And a trans actress, right, Brian?

Yep. Yep. From Euphoria. At one time, she was a he. And you couldn't really, there's no way you could tell, you know, from looking at her. So, yeah, it was a great performance. for sure from Hunter is a great performance. Dan Stevens doing Dan Stevens stuff, man. This dude, man, that fucking piccolo that he got from Ice-T

from Leprood in the hood, that was great, man. That little... He said some lines. I should have wrote them down. Uh-huh. I can't remember what he said, but it was near the end. And I should have wrote it down. But the way he delivered it, I'm like...

Nobody but Dan Stevens right now in my head could have delivered those lines better. And he's British, right? Yeah. Yes. Okay. Philip, there is only... Did he have an accent in this one or no? Oh, you didn't see it.

I didn't see it. Not only did have an accent, but he had a very strong German accent. Well, welcome to the comedy. You may be assimilated. Aye, from a. He might be the MVP. year he will be because I mean think about it honest horror actor going right now you get you get wacky Jim Carrey type character in Godzilla and Kong yep you get like Jim

Kerry mixed with Brad Pitt yeah you get somebody that you completely disliked in a good way it wanted to punch in the face and Abigail right yep yeah and then you get this character and cuckoo And yes, that damn flute. That's almost like a Nicholas Cage type scenario, right? Like where he could play any kind of part. And he, yeah, he's definitely coming into his own. I want to see where his career takes him from here, you know?

And Lance, there's rumors that they're going to do the guest, too. They need to. Yeah, they definitely need to. And that one, that is a completely. different character than the three I just talked about because that is a cold calculated killer, very serious. Yes. That one seemed more in line with the Marvel show that he did.

What was it called? Legion. Legion. Yes, that's right. It was a pretty good show. I don't think I ever finished it, but... I couldn't finish it. It was too deep for me, man.

Yeah, the first... It was like going off on tangents and... Yeah, it was. The first season was pretty awesome, though. I'll give them credit for that. True, true. All right. So Brian, all that was great, dude. Like you said, the cinematography, the beautiful Bavarian countryside and all that. And then the really weird, like, institutional looking place. Like, when you go into this, it's supposed to be like a really warm, welcoming place. But you go in and it's like you're in a mental institution or something, you know, or a hospital. Yeah, it's completely, it's supposed to be a resort. But when you're looking around you're like this, exactly how you described is.

it looks like. Not a very comfortable resort, right? And then you've got these odd people kind of walking around having some kind of reaction. And Dan Stevens, like, oh, that's normal. Okay. Well, I was going to say something. See, I don't want to spoil anything. But did you get a little bit of a vibe of a cure for wellness here?

The setting and everything? So you remember that one, right, Philip? You just wanted the great Dane to Honda. With the great name to Hyundai. Isn't it funny how he just worked that in there? Yeah, but all that stuff was really well done. Like technically, it was a gorgeous movie, and it was very well-acted. And, you know, you're telling me that that was, you know, the chick for Iron Fist.

I'm like, wow, holy shit. And now I'm thinking back, that was, that was her. I'm like, that's crazy. But at that point, this maybe completely loses me. Because you have this little thing called script. You have this little thing called Story. story. And to me, this movie was a fucking absolute total fucking hot mess. I didn't know what the fuck was going on.

At the third act, it became even worse. It got even more convoluted. People were doing stuff that's like, okay, that's really kind of neat up front. I wonder why they're doing that. Then they explained it. Like, they wouldn't do it like that. They wouldn't, if somebody had prayed. You all ready for spoilers? Well, Phil's got to give his opinions first. Well, I don't have any opinions because I haven't seen it yet.

All right. Oh, right. Scores. Philip pulled the Lance this week. Yeah, man. The closest theater that was showing it was like an hour and a half away. Oh, okay. Yeah.

It's not worth it to see Dan Stevens playing a flute. I know. Well. You missed out. Depends on what kind of flute it is. I'm waiting for the means, man. And Phil, those flute sounds Lance was making, that's exactly how it sounded. He was playing.

We had Grandpa Joe in the first movie. and then we got Willie Wanka and the flute in this one. Yes. The Oopalupa. That's what I was thinking. It's all connected. All right, score. Seven and a half.

Wow. I thought this was a really strong movie. Oh, I can't wait to hear why. I can't wait until I get to ask you a few questions and you tell me if I'm all wet. Maybe I'll change my score after the spoilers. We'll see. We'll see. What's your score right now?

Two. Oh. Two. You, after trash, dude. Trash. Yeah. Night swim is a master. Night's,

Night swim is citizen cane. Out of here. Night swim is Citizen Kane compared to this. After basically almost an entire, your entire review was kind of gushing over the movie. You give it a two? Absolutely. Yeah, because see, I like, I like,

this thing called plot and story Brian. This little thing called plot and story and it kind of has to make sense to me for me to enjoy it. So you're going to explain, you're going to Brian explain to me. No, wait. Before we get to spoil, you explain to me why

you're getting so many compliments. Right. And then give it a two and then say night swim is better. It is. And it's all about the story, man. It's just like I couldn't follow it. What story was a night? For no reason. that you've got this creature

with the red eyes and the sunglasses that was like Cyclops from the X-R-R-E. Okay, are we in spoilers? Yeah, spoilers. This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. You've been fucking warned. This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. You've been fucking warned.

This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. You've been fucking warned. All right. Why the fuck? Brian, why the fuck? Were they throwing up everywhere? Dude, help me with this. The people that were walking around the resorts?

Yes, because they were pregnant. Because they were being experimented on. Okay, so it wasn't just a pregnancy. It's because it was like the drugs he was given them and the weird. Well, probably a combination. I'm starting to understand a little bit more now. They were, of course, I mean, we don't know why Madman do what they do, but he was trying to alter and improve on humans.

make better whatever. About halfway through this movie, Brian, Dan Stevens started to remind me of that guy on the Netflix special where he was like sneaking his jazz into all the little cups and shit like that

and impregnating all the women so that he's got like 16,000 relatives all in one town or something. Remember that? It was crazy. And that's what he was doing, right, Brian? He's not necessarily, dude. Not necessarily.

Oh, my. God, please explain. I was so lost in this movie, dude. Well, that little girl wasn't his. The little girl wasn't his. Okay. Okay. True. Hunter Schaefer's sister. But yeah, okay. All right. Was he impregnating the bill with his sperm at some point or no? It was like Lerzden. If that's what was happening, I totally missed that part. Yeah, I don't know, man. I mean, okay. And then what about the way? that fucking weird creature, the chick out in the woods with the red eyes and the

sunglasses? What was that all about? Was that his first experiment gone wrong or something? That was where the eggs were coming from, the fertilization. Like an insect man? I'm down to one and a half, guys. Sorry.

I can't with this. Wait, hang on. I'll stick it to. I'll give it some respect for Dan Steven. So there's a weird chick in the woods with red eyes that's like the queen bee and she lays all the eggs basically

okay like I said this movie gets weird in a good way it got very weird in a bad way for me in a bad way Brian well then I don't I really honestly

I don't understand your two good because you said nothing negative about the movie yes I did I said the plot the story sucked that's all you needed to know that's supposed to important part of a movie to me.

And you must have broken your rule for Night Swim. Yeah, big time. Busted. Yeah, if I had a chance to review Night Swim again or rewatch, that I guarantee

it it wouldn't be a six. I'll never live that down. But this ain't no seven and a half, dude. Come on, man. Really? Just because of the visuals. I get, no, I get it. Oh, not for the I thought it was creative.

It was definitely creative. Whatever the lady was, creature, whatever she was supposed to be a hybrid of something. I thought that was creative. I thought the connection to the children that were supposed to be part of the experiments.

I like the connections they had. There was one really cool scene, Brian, in a library where they both had guns. and the people were holding each other up against each other. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, because each person, Dan Stevens and the detective, they were there to kill. The other one.

That was pretty cool. That was creative. I'll give you that. That was a great shot. Was it creative? I think so. I think so. Have you ever seen that before in a movie?

I don't know. I don't think I've seen that. Honestly, I'm kind of blown away by your review right now. Yeah, I just didn't enjoy it, man. I mean, like you said, it's opinion, right? I might go back and rewatch it a month from now and come back just drooling about it. It'll be my cool of the week, you know? Phil, I don't think so.

I'm interested to see you watching it. Yeah, Phil's got to be the tiebreaker here. Yeah, because this movie blows night swim out of the water. Well, that's... You gave... That's not hard to do. And you gave this one a two. I did.

All right. I'll watch it as soon as I get the chance when it's out there. It might be out there pretty soon. Yeah. Did it do well at the box office, Brian, or do you know? I think it made a few million, but I don't think the budget was higher on this one. Yeah, I doubt it. Obviously, limited release.

Yeah, if you weren't able to find it. That's a plumber. Yeah. That's a bummer. I think I did see something on it. All right. Brian, I think this is a case of my expectations were too high for it,

because I really wanted to see this movie, man. I was super pumped about seeing it after the trailer. And to me, it just didn't live up to the hype. But, yeah, like I said, I may go back and rewatch it next month. And if so, I promise, I'll bring it back as cool of the week. And I'll say, Brian, you were right. And Lance, you were wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

Won't be the first time, won't be the last time. Guarantee you that. Let's see. Hunter Schaefer's horror movie Cuckoo debuts with 3 million opening weekend. Okay. Well, that's probably a lot more than they spent on it. Yeah, that's respectable. Respectable, right?

Although, I wonder how much, I wonder how much Dan Stevens is going to cost to get him into a movie after this year. A lot more. That's a good point. They might have spent most of that on him. Yeah, or the flute, or Ice Tees flute. Because they had to go, think about it, Brian. They had to go and raid whatever movie, you know, movie memorabilia museum has the leprechaun stuff.

They had to take that fucking magic piccolo, and they had to pull it out of ice, ice tees, hopefully not cold dead hands, and give it to Dan Stevens. He's still a lot. With his German accent. I think I just saw him. I haven't actually listened to it, but I think he had like a new body count song. Oh, dude, I love body count, man.

Yeah, they were like a hunk-wrap metal thing. You can't even classify him. They're their own thing, dude. They're their own thing. Cop killer. Uh-oh. It's got to be edited off YouTube. Anything else, Brian, to add?

You have a total defense, but I might re-w it. I am going to re-watch it. You've absolutely convinced him much. Once you said night swim, there was no convincing you. I guess not. Trying to pull up Dan Stevens to do what he's got coming up. I was kind of curious about that, too. Is he going to go full Nick Cage where he does like 12 movies a year now?

I think he should. I think he should too. And just having it up and all of them. get this guy's Dan Stevens and Nick Cage in the same movie together and Dane Dahan is the villain that they team up to go after Well you had a good idea there Until we got to that huh

I don't know man Dane Dahan does play a pretty good villain True Yeah that little series he was in Oh he's gonna be in the terror The new season of the terror Dane Dahan No, nobody

Oh, Dan Stevens, okay. Yeah, he's got some... That'll be back to serious, Dan Stevens. Got some movie called The Ritual. Sounds serious. Isn't that already a movie? Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure it's already like 10 movies.

Yeah. But the ritual, he'll be in the movie with Al Pacino. Oh, all right. Fucking Al Pacino and Dan Stevens. So, So, No kidding, man. So,

but Brian, is it, is it in the movie with Al Pacino or Alpa Chino? I just hope it's not Dunkicino from,

uh, what was it, Jack and Jill? Oh, God. Holy shit. Wow. That's a blast

from the past, man. Gosh. Al, you're a legend, but I hope you seriously got paid a lot of money for Dunkachino.

Wow. Hey, man. Adam Sandler's my boy. I like him. Yeah, he can do no wrong, right? He's done plenty of wrong. You guys ready to sign out? He's also got some greats. Yeah, fair enough.

Yeah, with a big old ass. Weren't they supposed to do a sequel to Billy Madison? I think they are, right? The older Billy Madison? I heard somebody talking about it. I hope so. Yeah. All right. I think he'll probably burn through his millions and like he's on Skid Row and has to go to school again. Or he has to go to trade school. He has to be an electrician, Philip. Maybe. He was just on Rogan. I haven't watched it yet.

Right. I'm interested to watch that one because I've always been an Adam Sandler fan. Absolutely. All right. Anything else, Brian? No, that's it. All right. Well, as always, we want to thank you guys for listening to another episode of The Horror Returns. and be sure to check out all the social media pages. And Brian's reels that he's making that we may or may not be getting credit for.

So we can look into that. But, you know, just go to thehorroritraterns.com and you can pivot from there to scroll down. You can pivot to any of the social pages, any of our episodes. It's all right there. Even our store. You can buy a T-shirt. Yeah. So please support the show.

We love you guys. Next week should be fun, and Philip's going to be in heaven, because we're going to check out the new Alien Romulus. Fuck, yeah. As well as Gay Over, man, otherwise known as aliens. I think I'm going to watch the documentary, the six-hour documentary, Brian, to prep for that. Okay, reviews are starting to come out on Alien Romulus, and the reviews are really good.

Oh, okay. A lot of them are saying the ending, the finale is, crazy. Okay. But they are saying before, if you, if you can, before you watch the new one, watch Alien and Aliens. All right. What about Alien 3?

They have that same exact scene with the thing coming out of it. I mean, if you, if you want to, I mean. Yeah, I know. That was the only thing I was like, all right. We're, we're recreating some Alien 3 scenes here. What are we doing? but that's what a lot of reviews I've seen that said if you get a chance to watch the original two movies

because this movie takes place between those two oh awesome yep so probably watch the original and then this and then aliens right and if anybody if anybody has Hulu they have every single alien movie that's been made on there awesome I do too on DVD Dude, one of the few DVDs I've gotten. The alien movies are all pretty solid.

Like, when they get off into the Predator Universe, they get a little squirly. But like that... That's based on the comic books. Right. But the alien standalone movies are all pretty good. Right. All right. Well, on that note, Brian, until the horror returns again.

Good night.