The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #43: March Madness: Greatest Horror Baddie (Re-upload)

Episode Date: October 21, 2021

Our first ever March Madness episode. Who is the greatest horror baddie ever? Joined by Marc Chevalier, Christy Wooke, Patrick Lear, and the Nez. Thanks for listening!

Regings victims, for those of you who delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify gore, welcome. You have found the place where the horror returns. Listeners beware. This podcast contains major plot spoilers. and the foulest of language. Join us in celebrating the old and the new, the best, and the worst in horror. Greetings, listeners, you have found the horror returns.

For all of you who delight in dread, fantasize about fear and glorify gore, welcome home. This is the podcast that proves the horror never ends. Typically, each episode we seek out a review a brand new horror movie and then we go back and find a classic one. But this week, we are doing something different in the spirit of March Madness and all the insanity that comes with it. We're doing a best-of fight-to-the-death show with basically the 32 biggest horror icons, villains, baddies, whatever you want to call them. Everybody on our show, our special guests have all

picked five of them, and I think we picked just a few more to kind of fill it out. Uh, we'll go around the table here. Oh, oh, we will continue to use four letter words. Guaranteed. I get to be an explicit, uh, show as always. So that, but, but mother, motherfucker. That takes care of that. Uh, so we'll start with our, uh, with our esteemed guests, because everybody, I think if you're listening, you probably already know me and Brian and Philip. So first of all, we have, uh, from the Great White North, our guest, Mark Chevalier. How's it going, Mark? And doing good, Lance. Thanks for inviting me to March Madness. We appreciate you being here. What was your first exposure to this thing that we call horror movies?

The earliest memory I can think of is that as a kid, my dad rented child's play, and I would go running, hiding under the bed. And the first few times I got scared, but after a while I got into it. And what mostly got me into horror was when we started renting the Friday of the 13th series. And from there I was just hooked. Nice. Yeah, it's... Chuckie was some scary stuff when we were little, man.

Yeah, man, a doll that can kill you. Yeah. Creepy dolls. All right, and then we have a good friend, someone that I've known for a lot longer than we've been doing this podcast because I was on a few shows with her before called Geek Fight's.

Christy Woke, how are you? Hi, I'm doing good. Thanks for having me on. Yeah, we appreciate it. I've been trying to get you on since episode one. So I think we're on number 43 here, so that's not too bad. I guess not. What first got you into horror?

Well, when I was a kid, I was always into scary stuff, so I watched, like, those Disney scary tales, things like that. But I think my first exposure to an actual horror movie was probably like a late-night TV edit of Camp Sleep Away, which I'm sure I didn't see the actual ending of until much later. and was very shocked, but I don't think I loved it. I think I was just shocked into I got to see more of this. So, yeah. Cool. And our contributing editor, apparently, Patrick Lear, who writes into us pretty much every week, probably our number one fan.

Patrick, how are you doing? Doing great. Thanks for inviting me on the show. Oh, man. It was inevitable, I think. what was your horror movie exposure? Well, I actually shared a little bit of this on a comment on one of Kevin's post here a while back. But actually, my dad played country music on the weekends and bands and stuff.

So he was always gone until like four in the morning or something. And my mom used to let me, when I was about five or six, would let me stay up late with her because they would show reruns of like Star Trek and Space 1999 and Colcheck, the Nightstocker. And I would try my best to stay up. when I could, but I remember some of the Colchette's Nightstocker was one of the scariest things I'd ever seen. And I still have a few images of that show burned into my mind of that I'll just never forget that whatever it is. And for whatever reason, it's kind of cheesy now when I go back and look at it, but it scared the heck out of me as a kid. So that was kind of my first introduction of horror.

That and Star Trek actually were kind of married together. Oh, pretty good marriage there, I would say, wouldn't you, Christy? You're a Trek fan too, right? Mm-hmm. Definitely. All right. And then finally, we have the one, the only, the world famous Kevin Ness, of about 60 different podcasts every week.

How's it going, man? Yeah, I'm doing good. Hey, Patrick, man. Thanks for those kind words, dude. Yeah, I'm with you on all that stuff, man. Late night stuff, watching it with my dad and everything. Dude, that was an awesome comment. Dude, thank you so much for listening to the show.

Absolutely. I enjoyed it a lot. All right, cool. So introductions have been made. We've gone around the table. Now it's time to fight. So we're going to start out with our first fight of the evening. The big card here, this is just kind of like to wet your whistle a little bit

until we get into the main events. But first round, and we want to go in this order, the order that I introduced everyone. So Mark, we'd like you to go first. Tell us who you think would win or tell us who's better and why. And that's going to be the first round, which is. is the deadites of evil dead fame versus the exorcist captain howdy all right well uh i think i think i think i'll go with the deadites because uh i mean both are like like demons that can possess people right but i mean the deadites they can possess multiple people so right there just

strength and numbers can beat out one multiple demons can beat out one demon that's my quick uh quick All right, vote for the deadites. Christy? I will also be voting for the deadites for the same reasons, and they're probably of this entire list, the most relentless. All right, Patrick, what about you? Well, I have to pick the deadites since that was one of the people I nominated. But yeah, same reasons.

I mean, those, they are relentless, and they show up everywhere. All right, Kevin, are we working for to clean sweep? Yes, I'm also going to go. with the Deadites. When I saw Captain Howdy on here, I wasn't sure if you were talking about the Exorcist or the, or Dee Snyder from Strangeland. Take your pick.

Either way the Deadites would be both either Captain Howdy, so it's going to be a sweep. All right, cool. Well, Philip, you're our last vote. Are you also going to go with Deadites? God know it is not going to be a sweep. Captain Howdy would whoop their ass. You can't kill that, dude?

He is pure evil All right, fair enough So we didn't get our first sweep of the evening All right Next round is going to be the blob Take your pick from any film Versus Candyman Mark

Going with the blob Because it seems like nothing can stop the blob All right, Christy I'm also going to be going with the blob Because I really don't think anything I mean it's going to consume everything it will definitely consume Candyman

be pretty sweet too huh what I can't believe you just said that it already kind of looks like Jello well you know what maybe they're a marriage maybe they're I mean they're gonna it's going to assimilate him so really we're just going

with both of them it was meant to be oh Patrick well a little torn on this one because I agree with everything you're saying, but I just have to wonder if Candyman be smart enough to use cold against the blob, because that was the one thing that

slowed it down, if they actually could freeze it. So I'm not sure if he's smart enough to do that or not, so I'm going to go ahead and lean toward the blob to take over on that one. Okay. Well, we've got some one-sided battles so far, Kevin. I'm leaning more towards the blob

just because they could just consume Candyman, but then Candyman, is he a real man? Right. Is he a supernatural being? That was a question I had. Yeah, so

I think I'm going to go with Candyman. I think you can overthrow the blob. All right. Cool. Philip? This was one of the harder ones for me because of that exact thing. I mean, if Candyman's just a dude running around, I think the blob

takes him no problem, but I don't know that he's an actual person. Although he did get set on fire there at the end on that one. I don't know. Maybe the blob. So you're going with the blob. I'll go with the blob.

All right. So shoot, that is two, four to one. Hopefully it'll get a little bit more exciting here because these first two have gone pretty quickly. So who's... Could you roll wrong on the first one. Well, the one person we invited that I think at last minute she couldn't make it was Marcy from Australia. Ironically enough, the next villain is Mick Taylor, also in Australian.

Going up against Voldemart, who I think is from Harry Potter. Is that correct? That is correct. Who is that? I'm just kidding. All right. Mark, what do you pick here? Oh, well, for me, this is an easy pick because Mick Taylor is just a...

man and Voldemort is the ultimate wizard and master of evil so Voldoort would disintegrate Mick Taylor in three seconds probably. All right, Christy? I was going to say Mick Taylor because a bunch of kids brought down Voldemort and McTaylor lives in the bush. Like, that's scary to me in itself. I agree. Good point.

Very good point. What do you think, Pat? Well, that's what I was just getting ready to say. I mean, Voldemort was brought down by a 15-year-old wizard. Mick Taylor, you know, he's kind of a Bushman. A wizard, Harry. So, Madden. What do you know how to deal with magic?

I don't know, but, you know, I mean, shotgun to the head or something like that might take care of Voldemort just as easy as anything else. So I'm going to go with Mick Taylor on this one. All right. That's one for Mick. Kevin. I'm going to go Voldemort. I mean, Mick Taylor is just an ordinary man. Yes, he's a Bushman.

and he is awesome, but I don't know, Voldemort, he's the Lord of Wizarddom or whatever they want, whatever they call it. I think just one quick spell, we'll get Mick Taylor out of the way. So Voldemort was who I would say. Okay, now that's what I'm talking about. Now, Philip, you finally get a chance to get your first tiebreaker here.

It all ends on my shoulders. Okay, well, I know he's from a kid's movie, but Voldemort's kind of a badass. And you're dealing with magic versus non-magic, so I think I've got to go to Baltimore on this one. He wins. Mick Taylor is dead.

That's your final thing? That is my final answer. Okay, now we're talking. So we got the abominable Dr. Fibs going up against Freddie Kruger. We're definitely getting up into the big leagues now. Yeah. Mark? well i'll be honest i'm not familiar with dr fives what uh what kind of abilities does he have

he was basically like if you really think about it he was like an original jigsaw okay but it's kind of like phantom of the opera too it's like a mix and he is also undead or was he i don't know he seems to not be able to be killed maybe just a psychopath all of these things Well, yeah. Okay. Okay. So even with that, I think I'll still go with Freddie because you can enter, you'll go in your dreams and mess you up and you can't really do much to stop them. So I'm going to Freddie.

Which way are you leaning, Christy? Yeah, I really do like Dr. Fibbs and I really like more classic things in general. But Freddie Cooner is one of those, you know, childhood fears of mine. exposed to it as a very young kid and you have to sleep. Like if you don't sleep, you die. So if you sleep, you die. I don't know. It's just, it's very disturbing. So I'm going to say Freddie Cougar. All right. Another vote for Freddie. Patrick. So I was a little torn on this one when I saw this one kind of lined up because, yes,

Freddie is definitely one of the king of scary villains or whatever. But after watching Dr. Fives, I'm, you know, I picked him because, you know, he's Vincent Price and he's actually a home-grown Missouri, and so that was part of the reason. But he's also, when I watched the movie again, because I want to kind of read from where, he was the original jigsaw. I mean, this guy was the one, I mean,

and also the seven-killer, because he was killing people based on plagues and stuff like that. But at the end of the movie, he was actually appeared to be undead. So I don't know if he was actually undead or just, you know, didn't have a face or whatnot, but I almost wonder if Freddie gets in the side of a mind of someone like that,

that maybe he's a little scared. So I'm going to just step out on a limb to make it interesting, and I'm going to go ahead and go with Dr. Fibbs on this one. I like your argument, too. So that's two to one. Kevin, what do you say? I am leaning towards Dr. Fibbs, but I will pick Freddie Kruger only because Dr. Fides, man.

It was awesome movies he did, and I love Vincent Price, but he wasn't much to it. I mean, but then again, Freddie Kruger, like the only way he can get Dr. Fives is if Fives falls asleep unless Fives comes up. But he got, like, Fives was a smart man. Maybe he'll figure out, hey, if I fall asleep, grab Freddy Krueger and pull him out of my dream,

then he could probably deal with him because then Freddie's just a normal man with a glove. Right. He didn't sleep much either. Yes, that was another thing. You know what? After saying all that, I'm going to go, Dr. Fibes. Oh, right.

Cool. Got us another tie going there. And here we are again. Okay. Question. Did Freddie ever enter the dreams of like an adult person? Sure. But we did all just a bunch of kids?

Wes Craven's New Nightmare? Does that count? all right yeah it's canon hmm yeah because I think the obvious answer here would be Freddie but

if I don't know man doctor five's mind is too strong to handle him I think I still gotta go Freddy on this one that was that was my gut

but you almost swayed me halfway through there Freddie Kruger final answer all right so that's it that was a that was the tightest race so far. Freddie came out on top.

So moving on to the next round. It's going to be the Killer Clowns versus Carrie. That just seems so wrong. Mark, what do you think, man? This is an interesting battle. I mean, Killer Clowns got some cool gimmicks, cool weapons, but I think

Carrie, once she snaps and goes completely crazy is one of the scariest characters in horror movies. I think her psychic powers would overwhelm the killer clowns. All right. So I vote for Carrie for sure, Mark? Yeah, I'm going with Carrie.

All right. Carrie, it is. Christy? This is kind of hard just because they're so different. Right? I guess troubled teens are scary. Not to be, like, I don't know. That sounds kind of awful, but I mean, her whole thing is, you know, she was abused.

marred in tragedy, desperate, it's very scary. I think that's more, like, I think she could probably, well, I don't know,

space clowns, like you don't know what their actual powers are because they're aliens. Like, who knows? I, you know what?

I'm going to say killer clowns from outer space. They definitely kill and eat people. Yeah, I mean, I mean, yeah.

I mean, who knows what they actually are. They could be relatives of like the blob and actually consume something eventually. But I'll just say killer clowns. Okay, that's one vote for Kerry, one for killer clowns.

Patrick? Yeah, this one's definitely a weird match-up. I think I'm going to go with killer clowns only because there's more than one of them. I think if it was just a one-on-one deal, I think Carrie handles it no problem, but because there's multiple clowns, and again, they are from outer space, so we don't know how susceptible they are to certain things. I think I'm going to go with killer clowns on this one. All right, Kevin.

What about you, man? I'm going to go with Carrie. I believe she can take them all on at once. Just the old Carrie, Sissy's Basic Carrey. I love Chloe Moretz, but Sissy's Basic can be a little more. She's more powerful. Yeah, I think she can. I mean, we only seen a little bit of what she can do in the movies, but

I think her mind power is that much stronger to where she could handle multiple clowns. So I'm going to go with Carrie. All right. So that means it's tiebreaker time again, Phil. And here we are again. This is becoming my favorite episode. I'm going to say, I think, okay, if you look at it like if they were actually fighting, right? Killer clowns come in and start messing with Carrie.

It takes her a lot to get really pissed off, obviously. but I think the killer clowns are so fucking stupid she would lose her mind over them and then blow them out of the water. I got to go carry. I hope that she makes it past like the next bracket too so maybe she'll go up against Freddie because that would be interesting.

Ah, maybe headed in that direction. Oh, that would be interesting. All right, so Carrie it is. And I think this next round might be a tough one. It's going to be the tall man. Hopefully not in the newest film. The Old Man. The Tall Man versus Dracula, Mark.

I'm not very familiar with The Tall Man. I mean, he's from Fantasim, but I can't ever ever seen those movies. What? But I'm going to go with Dracula just because he's legendary, and he's probably one of the earliest horror characters that's ever existed. I think you could beat a lot of people on this list. So I'm going to Dracula.

All right. Christy, you may have a different opinion. Dracula is just a horny asshole who wants to fuck girls, and that's all he's interested in. Tall man wants to take your bodies, steal your brain, smush your body into a little

person, and send you to another dimension. And I think that's what he would do to Dracula. So, Tall man. All right, a vote for the tall man, Patrick. Well, I think that's a good argument. I think Dracula can actually do all of those things, except for maybe send him to a different division to anybody he wanted to.

And he's just, you know, there's so many incarnations of him. But, I mean, if he were to take just the basic incarnation, yeah, he's that. But I think Dracula as a whole, I mean, the whole vampires, you know, that's got some weight there. and I don't think vampires are that easily killed. So I'm going to go with Dracula. All right. Another vote for Dracula.

Kevin? I'm going to go with the tall man. The only reason, I mean, there's the, um, Dracula, he can have the army of the undead. But if you, according to Fantasm Ravenger, the weakest one of the series, there is millions of tall men. And there was billions of those spheres. So just one quick move.

boom boom, each fear can go into the heart of any of Dracula's disciples as well as Dracula, and that would be the end of it. Yes. Plus, I mean, as far as being traveling into other dimensions, I mean, he could do that with a blink of an eye. So I think tall man would just easily roll over Dracula. Okay, so we got, I guess we're just waiting to hear from Philip now to break another tie. That was what the what was for, not because he chose a tall man, because I can completely understand that one.

This is actually another really tough decision, I think. But, you know, does the tall man ever actually do anything? He's just sort of this ominous presence, man. He's there, but, you know, he's just like standing there with a harvester. Right. But you can't kill him. He will kill you. You can't kill Dracula either, except with a, I guess, a steak.

Or sunlight or. Yeah, Dracula does have a lot of a lot of deficiency. I think I still got to go Dracula on this one. Yeah, yeah. He's my boy, man. That guy's classic, and I think that he's got way more abilities than those two hippies had that he was trying to fight. I think Dracula feels tall man.

Oh, in a little bit of an upset here, Dracula takes the tall man. I'm a little bit surprised on that one, but hey, that's why we played the game, right? Any given Sunday, ladies. Any given Sunday. So we're moving on to the next round, and it's going to be the mysterious Babaduke versus Jigsaw.

Mark, is it Jigsaw or is it the Baba Dick? I knew you'd say that. Okay, jigsaw is actually one of my picks. But the thing is, I mean, to be honest, jigsaw is a dying guy, cancery guy. can't do much. So unless he catches the Babaduke by surprise

somehow, but sadly I'll have to go with the Babaduke, I think. Yeah. All right. One vote for the Babaduke. Christy? I think that the screaming that the Babadook instills in

children could kill anybody, including Jigsaw. So, I mean, I don't really find either of these. Like, these are neither my picture. Like, I don't, I'm whatever about these, but the screaming child in that movie would kill me.

So, I'm gonna go with them, Papa Duh. So you're right. Hang out my house for a little while. No, no, no, no. It's not, it's not like any kid. It's not just any kids screaming. It's specifically, that child's scream is like, you're introducing.

It makes me want to murder everyone. Okay, so your votes for the, Bobby Duke, Christy? Yes. Okay. That's two votes. Patrick? I, too, I'm going to go with the Bobad Duke

because the Bobadook's kind of a supernatural sort of being, if you want to call it that. And whereas Zig-Saw, you know, is more physical unless he can somehow capture him and put him in some sort of device, which I don't know that they could.

That'd be the only chance he really have against him. So I'm saying the Bob Duke on this one. Okay. Okay, Kevin. Yeah, I mean, it's a no contest. Babaduke would, like Pat said, it's supernatural. Jigsaw is just a man.

Supernatural always take over just regular men. I mean, Jigsaw is smart with all the stuff that he's doing, but he doesn't have the strength to do much because all the movies we've seen pretty much, he just sat there. So I think Bobby Duke would just take him over and that would be it. All right, Philip, we have our first clean sweep. uh you know my initial reaction was to go babadook because of the same reasons that everybody said but doesn't the bobadook like it doesn't he build his strength from that fear like it if you're not if you're not scared of him and jigsaw is not going to be scared of him he can't really do anything to you right because i mean that lady i don't want to spoil a movie or anything oh come on me It's like a five-year-old movie.

Didn't that lady, like, kind of capture him at the end, and she was treating him like a dumb-ass dog, you know? That was, like, her pet because she wasn't scared of him anymore. She just told him what the fuck to do. I think I got to go jigsaw, because I don't think the Bada Duk, but the Bapadut could do anything to him. Okay, one vote for Jigsaw.

I was actually kind of surprised. I thought there may be more votes for him, but, uh, all right, let's move on the next. I thought way too much into that for a four-to-one win, but... Yeah, well, that's okay. That's why we're here. How about this one, guys? Mark, you're going to tell us what you think about Chuckie? Oh, this one I guess is timely with the new show on FX right now.

It's Baby Jane, from whatever happened to Baby Jane. What do you think? I'm going to go with Chuckie on this one, because Chuckie first has the element of surprise by being a doll. And second of all, he's small and he can run and hide everywhere. And he's just hard to catch in general. So I think Chucky would take out baby Jane.

I think that Jane Hudson has such a psychosis with fame that she would just stomp on Chucky. It wouldn't matter how he was coming at her with a knife, with a blowtorch, with a gun. I don't... She's on this whole list. she's like the scariest, like for real scary.

I'm going to go with Baby Jane. All right. A vote for Baby Jane. Patrick? Well, I hate to say it. I'm not as familiar with Baby Jane. I was just trying to look up something on it there. And Chuckie.

Chuckie is sort of supernatural over the way. However, he does get thwarted in most of his movies at some point. Yeah. I'm thinking Baby Jane, just reading up on the character here a little bit, could probably handle Chuckie just because I don't think, you know, Chuckie, while he's maniacal and everything, I don't think he would have any effect on any scare factor on this other, on Baby Jane. So she would just see it coming and take him out. Like swat him away. Yeah. All right. Another vote for Baby Jane.

Kevin, you're watching Feud, aren't you? No, Theo is. I'm not. You're not into that. Well, who do you think would win this one? Baby Jane, easy. She should just take that act she used and chop off Chuckie's head like she took in the movie. Yeah, I mean, I love Chuckie. Only the first three movies.

After that, they were no good. Only the three. There's like 27. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, Chuckie's just a doll. I mean, he just kicked that thing. And, I mean, he didn't have all kinds of, well, he had the power of voodoo. He couldn't, like, do stuff with it.

And the only, pretty much the only thing he did was be able to get inside bodies. But baby Jane would easily just take out Chucky. You said he had the power of voodoo? Yeah. Power of voodoo? All right, Philip, what's your vote going to be, man? Don't fuck with the Chuck. I think that Chucky, you, you.

You can't kill that dude. He's going to keep on coming back. Like I said, he's got 27 movies. I'm sure there'll be another one pretty soon. So he's a spirit that just happens to live in the doll. You can kill the doll all you want to, but the spirit's not dead. So, Chuckie wins. All right.

Well, Phil, you vote for Chuckie, but Chuckie doesn't win this round because it's three to two. Lucky, I win. Baby Jane is moving on. So we are now, we're halfway through our first set of fights. and at this point Brian is going to be kind of taken over the hosting duties Okay

We are going to switch it up And we are going to start from the bottom of the bracket And work our way to the middle Our first fight is going to be Victor Crowley From the hatchet series Versus Jason Voorhees

Mark This is a good fight Because these two guys are very very similar Right They're both Backwoods Giant to almost unkillable people.

But I'm going to go with Jason because no matter how many times they've tried to kill him, he's come back. I know Victor Crowley can regenerate every night, but I think he can in the end to be defeated with some kind of magic to reverse the spell. And I don't think Jason can be defeated

in any way, shape, or form. So Jason wins. Okay, that's one for Jason. Christy. Yeah, this is basically like a lake monster versus a swamp monster And I think the lake would win against the swamp So I'm going to say Jason Borges All right

Patrick Yeah, I'm going to say Jason too Because he's just a machine I mean Nobody brings him down for whatever reason They can slow him down or whatever He always keeps coming So I think Jason wins this one

all right I think I already know where Kevin's going to go his name was Jason but then again which Jason do you want do you want the Jason the human Jason do you want the zombie Jason

the hell Jason or do you want Uber Jason either way Jason will come out on top so doesn't matter what's going to pick Philip yeah no that queen's sweep I got to go, Jason. He,

it is kind of a closer battle than it sounds, I think, because Victor Crowley is, you know, kind of the same concept is Jason. But I think Jason is a little more supernatural and vicious and soulless. And he's got more movies. And he's got more movies. All right, Jason,

goes to the next round. Next fight. be Michael Myers versus Dr. Frankenstein. Mark? I mean, Dr. Frankenstein, scientist, smart guy, but Michael Myers is a almost unstoppable killing machine. So Michael Myers. Would Dr. Frankenstein have the help of his monster in this case, or is it just a man,

Dr. Frankenstein? Just a man, I would think. Okay. Well, then Michael Myers kills Dr. Frankenstein. All right. Yeah, I think this is interesting because, like, really, they could team up, you know? But ultimately, Michael's psychosis would, I mean, he would just kill anything in front of him, really. So, I mean, Michael went because Dr. Frankenstein doesn't kill things.

He makes things. Hey, Patrick. Okay, so we are talking about Frankenstein and not Frankenstein, correct? That could be a different story. Yeah. Yeah, it's definitely Michael Myers in this case because while Frankenstein, you know, it was a genius of a doctor, allegedly. He's no killer. So Michael Myers, on the other hand, that's all he does.

So definitely Michael Myers. Kevin. Yeah, it'll be Michael Myers. I mean, Dr. Frankenstein is just a man, so he would just run through him really easy. Billet. Yeah, same reasons. Michael Myers. You know, if it was his monster, it'd be different, but this one's not fair.

All right. Michael Myers moving to the next round, and this next fight's going to be pretty interesting. We got the worm from Poultergeist 2 and Bruce the Shark from Finding Nemo. How did this happen at these people? The one from Joe. From Jaws. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Jaws, Bruce, the Sharks.

That's it. I was going to say, isn't it, Johns? Wait a minute. That would be a very different fight. You can continue with that. Just keep thinking it's been. No, I know. That changed the story completely.

Yeah, right? Okay, so one of my biggest fears in life are actually sharks. I constantly. nightmares about them and the main reason is that is because of Bruce the shark. Yeah, once I started watching the Jaws movies as kids, sharks became my greatest nightmare. So anything, it's going to take a lot to beat Bruce the shark for me, so Bruce eats the poltergeist worm. There's a flaw in your logic because the whole thing is if you consume that poltergeist tequila worm,

it's going to be vomited out of you and then it's going to come out and attack you, which is one of my greatest fears, is consuming something that I then vomit up and then it attacks me. So I'm going with that weird poltergeist worm that Craig Tee-Nilson vomits. That's really one of your biggest fears? It's not yours? That's a strange one to have. You're not scared of those tequila worms?

I thought the vomiting was the actual attack. Well, it would gross the animatronic shark out so much that it was short and die. that's true so yeah this one's yeah I had to admit when I saw rooster shark I was like a Nemo too so yeah this one's kind of weird

because like so does it take place on land does it take place in water I mean does the shark have to come up with an underwater breeding apparatus to come up on land to take it or you know so that was kind of my thing but as far as just being I'm gonna base this one just on what's scary

and just because of that I definitely got to go through the shark on that because Jaws is pretty damn scary. All right. Kevin. I was kind of thinking the worm, but

I think Jaws will just chew them up with all those rows of teeth and there won't be much of the worm to come back. So I'm going to go to Bruce the shark. Bruce! I got to go Bruce the shark on this one, man. That guy is

the beginning of a whole lot of Shark nightmares. It is kind of a weird situation. Where does it take place? Because obviously Bruce the shark, I can't even say Bruce the shark now because I'm finding me both. But obviously, if it takes place in the ocean or in the water at all, because I'm afraid of sharks in my swimming pool.

I think that the shark wins. Yeah, I still got to go Bruce the shark, hands down, man. All right, Bruce. advances to the next round. All right. Hannibal versus the dwarf in red. Mark. I'm going to go with Hannibal

because this guy will get an amazing mind and can get in almost anyone or anything's head. So I think Hannibal would get this dwarf to go nuts and kill him. Christy Okay, so I'll explain this a little bit

because I put it on the list, the dwarf in red. So I'm specifically talking about, but it can be including, like, a couple other things. I was specifically talking about that Donald Sutherland movie, Don't Look Now,

where, have you guys seen that movie? No. Silence. Okay. Well, briefly, he, like, loses his daughter, his young daughter in the beginning of the movie, and he goes to Italy with his wife in Venice and he keeps seeing this child running around the city wearing a red raincoat, which reminds me of his daughter.

Yeah. Yeah, I've seen that one. Okay, okay. Well, spoilers, everybody here. Sorry. At the end in the movie, he finally, there's this, during the whole movie, there's like somebody is killing people in Venice. And at the very end in the movie, he finds, finally follows his daughter. and it turns around and it's a dwarf in red who stabbed him.

And that's the person that's been killing people the whole time. But it's kind of like a running theme in the late 70s, early 80s, because I was thinking of the brood also, because I didn't know if that would qualify. Don't look now. The brood? You guys have seen this movie, yes? The Codenberg movie?

Yeah, yeah. Okay. And also, like, even in phantasm, There are bodies being compacted down. Yeah, they're creepy little guys. And in red, red hoods. Like, it's just like this weird theme that was, I don't know why that was popular at the time. But.

So evil little people. Well, yeah. And it's like just a distortion of what we think of ourselves. It's not like just not talking actually about little people. So deranged too little people. I suppose. But I'm going to go with Dwarf and Red just because I think that like me, they would, in any incarnation, disturb Hannibal Lecter.

Patrick? Yeah, to me, this one's, well, I'm interested in, and I'm going to go check out those movies, but nobody kills people like Hannibal Lecter kills people. This guy, in my mind, is, I mean, he's a genius, he knows how to get in your head, and he feeds people's brains to them while they're still alive. So, in my mind, Hannibal Lecter wins this one hands down. Kevin? Yeah, it would have to be Hannibal Lecter.

I mean, either version, even if you got the young Hannibal Rising or the guy from the TV show or even the classic, what's his face? Thor's Dad. Yeah, the Thor's Dad. The classical actor. What a legacy. Yeah, it would be Hannibal Lecter. I mean, the dwarf in red was just. just a dwarf.

It wasn't anything powerful or anything. So, I mean, yeah, I would have to go with Hannibal Lecter. But in that movie, the dwarf, the dwarf was pretty creepy, especially when it turned around. Was it a little old man? I think it was a woman. Like, I mean, it was just so quick and scary in that, that rag red color, that super opaque red color.

It was just all that. I mean, it sticks with me today. makes my stomach turn. Yeah, even when I see little kids wearing red raincoats, that's the first thing that pops in my head. I don't want to see how they look when they turn around. Oh, man, I love me some Tyrion, Lannister, but I think I'm going to have to go with Hannibal Lecter.

Terry, Lancaster. I've been watching Game of Thrones lately. All right. Hannibal, moving on. next fight will be between Ghostface from the Scream series and John Ryder from Hitcher. Mark? Okay, so these are both characters that I like to play mind games with people,

try to mess with them a little bit. But I think when it comes to that, Ghostface is a choir boy next to John Ryder. That guy is completely bashed insane, and I think he eventually takes out Ghostface with a shotgun blast in the face. Christy. And my thought on that is that once he takes out,

let's take him out with a shotgun, there's going to be another incarnation, because it's just people wearing a mask. Like, I don't, there's no real end to it. It's not even about being immortal or anything. It's just people taking up the torch. So I'm going to say ghost face. Interesting.

Patrick. Yeah, I've definitely got to go with John Ryder on this one, because for one, ghost face is not seeing what John Ryder has seen with his eyes. but anyway now John Ryder was just freaking nuts man that guy I mean that movie for what it was was pretty scary

and just the idea of ripping someone in half with a truck and you know ghost face was basically a bunch of high school kids who thought it was fun to go around and stab people and things like that and yeah it did kind of carry on and whatnot but in the end I think even if the ones that kept carrying the torch

that John Ryder was to attack them all down I think we'd be able to come out on top on it every time. So I'm going to go with John Ryder. All right, Kevin. Yeah, I'm going to go with John Ryder. I mean, I love the ghost face character, and I loved all the movies as well as the TV show. But John Ryder, Rector Howard John Ryder,

not that we make one. Yeah, it'll be John Ryder on top. All right, Philip. Yeah, for everything that I think, Patrick, just explained. I think I got to go John Ryder. I mean, ghost face is, while good argument, though, with

ghost face being, you know, more than one person, so does the idea ever really die? I think either way, it's just a bunch of kids facing a true killer. John Ryder. That'd be a good movie. I would. John Ryder, moving on.

Okay, now we're getting into some interesting ones here. The Thing versus Damien. Patrick, or I'm sorry, Mark. Okay, this is a special matchup. You got an alien fighting the son of the devil. I guess it depends how developed Damien is, like how strong its powers are and whatnot. But I'm going to go with a little kid Damien from the first omen.

That's what I'm thinking of. And I think the thing eventually consumes them. So you're saying the thing. Yeah, I'm saying the thing. Okay. Yeah, I'm not even going to talk about this because I know the thing is going to make it to the next round. So, perfect. All right, Patrick.

Yeah, this was kind of a tough one. I mean, that's for sure. I mean, I was thinking about that, too. I was like, man, well, Damien does have certain things. But the thing, I mean, the thing is what makes the thing scary is that they can imitate anybody. And so you never really know who it is. I don't know if Damien could detect that or not. But I'm going to go with the thing.

because I think he mentioned the thing we get to him. All right, Kevin. Yeah, as much as I love the Son of Satan, as we all. I don't think the thing, I mean, well, yes, it's another being from another planet, but it could easily get in him and spawn into other.

sons of Satan so yeah I would just be the thing Philip yeah man I think it's gonna be another clean sweep uh yeah interesting argument could he detect him

I think we're gonna run into that later because the thing wins this one all right the thing moving on our next fight will be the Joker versus Darth Vader This is funny. Oh, wow.

All right, Mark. Two very different people. One guy all about silliness, the other one who takes no silliness. I don't know. He's got some pretty wicked puns he'll throw out there. Oh, yeah, don't choke on your ambitions. But I think the dark side of the force is too much for the Joker. I think Darth Vader eventually kills the Joker.

All right, Christy. Yes, I think that the Joker doesn't have Middocrarians, so Darth Vader would conquer him. Patrick. Okay, now you guys are really messing with me here because I'm a huge, huge Batman fan. And not a huge... I mean, I love Star Wars, but not like I do by Batman.

But this one's tough because, you know, yes, the Joker doesn't have the power of Vader, but the Joker is smart and would he find a way to use Vader's power against him? That would be my question. So, you know, brute force is definitely in Vader's hands here. But I don't know. I mean, I'm going to say the Joker finds a way to come out on top somehow. Whether it's just a matter of outsmarting Vader,

And like I said, using his powers against him somehow. But, I mean, he's made to get past Batman all these years. So I'm going to go ahead and say the Joker. Kevin. This is the snow contest, man. Lord Vader would just go over. He wouldn't even move. He would stand still and just get him with his mind and that would be it.

I love the Joker. Every version of Joker, I mean, Caesar Romero was Joker to me above everyone else, but, um, yeah, this isn't even a contest, Vader would win. Did you see the end of Rogue One? He would roll over him the quickness. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

It was like I said, it would be, it wouldn't be much of a fight. But like you said, unless the Joker knew he was coming, I'd be the only way he'd have a chance. I feel you, Patrick, man. I wish, uh, I wish the Joker had gone up against somebody else other than then Vader, the first round, because I think he may have been victorious somewhere else. not here. Darth Vader takes this. No contest.

All right, Darth Vader, moving on. And the next one, I'm not familiar with this one. Krug? Am I saying that right? Last house on the left. Oh, that guy. Okay. Okay.

And he's going against Leatherface. Okay, well, for me, it's no contest. I mean, Leatherface wears people's faces. Like, you can't get more kind of crazy than that he beats Krug. All right, Chris. Okay, now I realize

that Latherface is going to win this round, but let me just sing my praises for Krug only because of all those almost snuff film feeling 70s horror movies of which both of these are. Last House on the left is my favorite, and

I think it's because I love the Virgin Springs so much, and that is very, very well represented in this movie. I'm going to say Krug, but I know that he would be moving on. All right, Patrick. Yeah, I'm going to go with Leatherface on this one, just because you're talking about a chainsaw-wilding maniac. Krug has definitely got some skill, but I think in the end, and plus Lederface has got

his crazy-ass family with him, if you, you know. he knows grandpa might sneak up on Krug or something while he's in the fight. I'm going to go with Leatherface. All right, Kevin. Yeah, it's going to be Leatherface, man. Leatherface is big in size, and he's got numerous chainsaws and cleavers and mallets and all. They just throw something at him and get him. A chopper, the hitchhiker could take out Krug.

So, yeah, I mean, I love Krug. He was awesome. He wasn't so awesome in Swamp Thing, but yeah, Leatherface would win this one. Philip. Yeah, no, I got to go Leather Face, obviously. He's definitely the one that wins. But I got to say, dude, that remake of the Last House on the Left, man, that rape scene was the most uncomfortable thing I've ever watched in a movie. And I love horror movies.

Krug is a bad dude. And not in a good way. to see him die. I'd be happy to watch Leatherface chop him into bits. We should have put her family on the list instead of crud, really. Oh, I know, right? Because they're bad asses. Mm-hmm. All right, Leatherface moving on, and that is the end of round one. All right, so on that note, I think we're going to take a little five-minute break.

Oh, got out. We have a smoke, go to the restroom or whatever. We'll meet again. We're back. So now it's time for our second round in our March Madness show. and we're going to start out with our first fight, which is the Evil Dead Deadites, taken on the blob.

Philip, who do you think would win this one? Deadites. There's too many of them. We can handle them. Kevin? That'd be the Deadites. Hands down, huh? Yep, I think so.

Patrick? Yeah, I'm going to go with the Dead Ates on this one as well. Pure evil. Okay. Christy. Now, I'm going to posit that, you know, when the blob consumes something, it gets larger. So no matter how many deadites come out the blob, it's just going to get bigger and bigger and eventually consume everything. But can the deadites possess the blob?

Hmm. I don't know. I'm just going to say the blob just because I like sci-fi just to be a contrarian yeah and you're one of those people who just likes to argue that's what I just said

yeah wrong any of you guys want to change your vote no okay Mark yeah I'm going to with the blob too because as as Christy said the more it eats, the larger it gets.

And I don't think the Deadites could figure out how to beat the blob. They would just, I think, just run at it and try to kill it and just get dissolved into them. So the blob wins, in my mind. Okay. So it looks like the Deadites are moving on with a three to two victory. And the next battle is going to be the Wizard Voldemart against Freddie Kruger. Philip? Hmm.

Interesting. I think I've got to go Voldemort on this one. He's a little more magic than Freddie Kruger and I'm not sure how it would happen but I think he would win. Yeah, it would be Voldemort. I think he could take out Freddie but then

hmm yeah, I don't want to think about too much. Yeah, Voldemort will win. All right, Patrick. Yeah, I kind of want to not to I mean, you know, because obviously if Voldemort goes asleep, Freddy's all over him. But we don't know that magic doesn't work in a dream world either, so I'm guessing the Voldemort by win this one.

Okay, what do you think, Christy? Okay, well, one of Voldemort's most known powers is Occlemans. He practices acclimacy. He can ward himself against Freddie from coming into his mind. So I'm going to say, Voldemort. Okay, Mark. Queens, is it a clean sweep? Yes, it is, Lance.

Voldemort wins. Wow. We're all going to be murdered. Five set of sugars. Voldemort's looking pretty good moving forward, guys. All right. So it brings us to our next battle, which is going to be Kerry against Dracula. That's interesting, I think, man.

What do you think, man? Interesting social commentary. Oh, yeah. Is it me first? It's you first, Philip. All right. I think Dracula takes this one because I think that he is smart enough

and can charm Carrie enough to not piss her off into her carry rage. Because if she got there, I think that she could kill Dracula. But I don't think that Dracula let her get there. He's too smart for that. Dr. Louis wants. Kevin?

I think Carrie would just hit him in the chest with a spike, or hit him in the heart with a spike, with her mind powers. So I'm going carry. Sounds like a quick fight. Patrick? Yeah, this one, to me, I mean,

how strong a mind is, Carrie? I mean, yes, she's very strong telekinetically, but, you know, it's like what Philip is saying. Dracula has the ability to, you know, hypnotize, sort of, and sue, and if he were to get to her to do that, then I think he would win. I just don't know that he could. That's a tough one.

I'm going to go ahead and lean a little bit toward Dracula on this one. Don't lean too close. Yeah. Okay, Christy, your return. I think that everyone's underestimating how twisted carries pure Christian soul is. I don't think she'd be swayed under Dracula's hypnotism powers. I think she'd be like, he'd be trying. trying to work his magic on her and she'd be rolling her eyes and he'd crush his brains in.

I mean, really, yeah, Carrie. She was dumb enough to think that the pretty boy at the promul. Not anymore. And she was right. Like, I mean, it wasn't, he was doing that. I mean, he was doing it to be nice, sure, but. I think she's naturally passive, though. Like, she's got to be pushed.

Well, I think after that one incident. Yeah, that's true I mean, it only takes one To like traumatized forever You're doing post prom, Carrie Okay, that's a different story She would be safe She had all those crucifixes in the house

Exactly, you are so right You are so right Everybody change your vote It's carrying hands down Dracula wouldn't even be able to touch her That's, yeah, there is a truth to that All right, will we change any votes before Mark goes in for the final tiebreaker?

No, I still, I still think the same argument applies, Dracula wins. Yeah, I'm gonna leave it, let's stand. It's a tie. Oh, it's up to me now? Jesus. Mm-hmm. See, when I started this, I was firmly Team Dracula,

but after all the carry comments, oh, I'm having a hard time deciding now. Okay, because she is very Christian, so she might have a cross-hanging. around. That might weaken Dracula. Sure. But he might charm her. You know what? I'm going to carry. Yes. There you go.

She's pretty powerful. All right, Carrie for the win. I think that's our toughest battle yet. So we'll move on to the Babaduke versus Baby Jane. Man. Baby Jane, I guess. For the same reason that I said that I think Jigsaw would beat the Bobbadook, because he obviously would not be scared of him and would put him in his place. Okay.

So that's a vote for Baby Jane. Kevin? I'm going to go with Baby Jane. I think a crazy person is a little bit more scarier than a supernatural force, especially Baby Jane. I mean, Betty Davis did it the best, and she just looks creepy. But, yeah, baby Jane. Another vote for Baby Jane. Yeah, I'm going to have to go with baby Jane because she is the babe with the power.

And like I said, if you're not scared of the Babadook, he doesn't really have any power over you. So, baby Jane would win this one. Christy? Yeah, I don't think that Jane Hudson has the capacity to be afraid of something like the Babadook. Like she's not going to waste any time thinking about anything other than her end goal. Yeah, and she'd probably do away with that creepy little kid. kid really, really quickly, wouldn't she? Oh, my God. I would watch that movie

the second time if she was in the house. Okay, Mark, is it a clean sweep? I'm just going to go with the Babadook because I feel like saying a Bobba Dick one more time. There you get. All right. So moving on is

Baby Jane, and now we move on to the next battle. Now, this is an interesting one. It's Leather Face against Darth Vader. Philip? I don't know how interesting. that gets. I think Darth Vader kills him no problem. Okay, Kevin. It would be Vader,

leather face. I mean, if we just put weapon to weapon, his lightsaber would just cut right through his chainsaw. Yeah, even if he didn't have powers. Yeah. Patrick. Yeah, I'm going to have to go with Vader on this one because even with the creepy family, I don't think they can stand up to Vader. All right.

Vader, Christy, how about you? And if you take away weapons, entirely. Latherface is a simpleton. I mean, there's no way he's going to beat Vader. All right, Mark, is it a clean sweep? Definitely. Darth Vader wins.

All right, that was a quick one. Moving on, it's the thing versus the hitcher, John Ryder. Philip? Yeah, I've got to go with the thing on this one. I don't think that John Ryder could do anything with this, with the thing.

Kevin? It would be the thing. I mean, the thing is a space alien, John Ryder, just a man. And the thing ran through everybody with Kurt Russell and all those guys. So as well as the Norwegian people. So he ran through at least 20 of them so he could run through one man. Yeah. Okay.

Next is Patrick. Yeah, the thing definitely wins this one. I mean, there's really not. much of a contest here. Christy? Can you imagine the thing version of John Ryder?

Because that would be the scariest thing. The thing gets suddenly super creepy. Yeah, right? Only now does it get super creepy. Oh, yeah. Poor one bad. It was like a puppy. So that's a vote for the thing?

Yes. And Mark, is it another clean sweep? sweep. Yeah, I mean, the thing eventually eats up John Ryder. Okay. Speaking of eating up, let's move on to the next one. It's

Hannibal versus Bruce the shark. What? That's pure talent there, buddy. I like that. This is an interesting one. I don't know. I can go Hannibal Lecter just because he's so smart. I mean, unless

you drop him in the middle of the ocean with jaws and that's really the only way Joss wins. Oh, I don't know about that. I think he's still fun to him. A vote. A vote for Hannibal Lecter. Kevin. Just keep swimming.

All right, Kevin. I wasn't paying attention. What was it again? Hannibal Rector against Bruce the shark, and not the one from a fish tail or whatever. I need emo do. I didn't know. Geez, not the same?

Well, if Hannibal stayed away from the water, he would win, but he would have to battle him. And even if he did, he'd have to be close to the water on a pier or a boat. Bruce would just chomp him up and that'd be the end. So vote for Bruce? Yes. All right, Patrick? Yeah, I got to go with Hannibal, Lector on this one. Roy Snyder

Shider found a way to beat him and Hannibal's way smarter than that guy and the only thing that Bruce would probably not have to worry about is Hannibal might not eat him so I think that Hannibal finds a way to deal with shark

Christy You know that Hannibal Lecter probably has like a PhD in how to slay and cook a shark I don't think this is any question of who wins Hannibal

100% Mad for Mads right here Woooo Yeah there you go All right Mark What's it going to be Okay so

I mean Hannibal is an extremely smart man But I find he's smart When it comes to Human Psychology And seeing how people think And none of that works against Bruce the shark

So I think Bruce wins But he's also a culinary expert He is that When eating human flesh, the first thing you start out with is shark. I'm just saying. Why do you know that? Come to my house and I'll tell you. Okay, so if I've got, if my math is correct here, I believe Hannibal took it.

Philip, you didn't vote for Hannibal, right? Yes, sir. All right, so Hannibal's moving on. And another close one. And now it's going to be a battle of a couple of movie Titans here. It's Michael Myers versus Jason. Now we're getting somewhere. What do you say, man?

Interesting one we've come across yet, man, because I, honestly, I hate to be first in this one because I don't know where to go. I think I go Jason because he's like, is he already dead? I think he's already dead. He came back from hell. I'm pretty sure it can be Michael Myers. So that's going to be a vote for Jason? Yeah. Kevin?

Of course, Jason. I mean, you don't even need to ask. You already know the answer. But they're like the same thing. They're not the same thing. Jason is way better. Plus, all his movies are way better than the Halloween movies, except for the first three. But, yeah, Jason all the way.

Another vote for Jason. Patrick? Yeah. As much as I, I mean, this is definitely one of those where your two Titans are going at it. All I can think about is that from Jason 6 where he's standing on top of the RV and the rain after he's done to sit on the side, victorious. And I just see Jason come out on top again because he's just too badass. Another vote for Jason.

Christy? Yeah, Jason is supernaturally immortal. I'm not sure that, I mean, I don't think that Michael is. Did we ever, he's just a dude, right? He just keeps getting up after we get died. up. He's just capable of doing that. But I think Jason would for sure

outlast him, I guess. Michael Myers is a little superhuman. Jason is a lot. I'll give him credit. Michael Myers has survived two Rob Zami movies. Oh. But Jason's been to space. I liked those.

Oh, yeah. I didn't like that one. None of us good. Leprechaun's been to space too. I was wondering why leprickon wasn't out here. I really wanted them to go up against each other. Jason and Leprik. Anything that can go into a penis through pee and come out their body is going to win this entire bracket.

Mark, another chance to make it a clean sweet, man. It's got to be Jason. He's my guy. He's always been. And he's come back from the day. He's come back from hell. And like Chris said, he's been in space. So Jason beats Michael Myers.

Thanks. Okay, so another clean sweep. Jason moving on. And now, Brian, take the microphone here and call the shots, man. All right. Next round will be the Dead Ikes versus Baltimore. Mark? Okay, so he got some demons versus the ultimate wizard.

Hmm. I think I'm going to go with Voldemort, even though the deadites would upnumber him, I think his magic would eventually defeat him. All right, Christy. I'm going to say the deadites because I think Voldemort's too prissy. Like, he would be like, oh, what's going on? I don't understand what's going on?

What are all these things coming at me? I think the deadites are, like, gross and American and just nasty. Fuck yeah. that was a great argument Patrick I'm going to go with the dead eyes on this because Voldemort well he's pretty powerful he doesn't shop smart

he doesn't shop at us smart and that's the only way you're going to meet the deadites so I'm going with the dead heights on this one Kevin I'm going to go of Voldemort I mean Voldemart he just

he's got the power of the dark art and he fought with Hitler and he was also the Red Dragon. So, I mean, Voldemort easily would win. Lies. Fake news. All right. Terrible. Philip.

Tiebreaker. I think Baltimore has the power of the dark arts, but the Deadites are the dark arts. And there's too many of them. He couldn't survive the horde. deadites But the dead eyes were all stupid I mean they There was nothing

Even when they are like in the second one When they all became human Yeah but if you got a thousand stupid people on top of you You're not going to stop them And they get in your brain They know everything about you They wouldn't get in his brain He just one spell boom they're all gone

One at a time yeah But a whole bunch of them at once No And they wouldn't be afraid to speak his name Oh very true But wouldn't that give him more power I know. Maybe.

See? Dead ice win. Dead ice. Dead ice. Okay, now wait a minute. Are you sure about that? I thought Mark voted Voldemort. I voted Voldemort.

Am I off on my numbers here? Oh, I made a mistake. I demand a recount. Oh, my bad. No, wait, wait. Is it the electoral count or the popular count? No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no.

No, no. to two, right? I get like three votes because I'm the only woman. Ever. All right. It was two to two, yes? Oh, man, are you serious? Brian. I'm on your team. You voted dead ice, yeah? I voted deadites and I think

I voted deadites and she voted dead ice, yeah. Okay. And I voted deadites. That is three to two deadites win. That's what I thought. All right. You're trying to confuse us. Controversy. God damn Hannibal Lecter over here. All right. Our next fight will be Carrie versus Baby Jane.

Very good fight. Mark. Mm. Going to go with Carrie, that rage. I'll just think that I will overtake baby Jane. Christy. I think that they met. They'd be very nice to each other because they're kind of outcasts.

They're both women. both, you know, look down upon for various reasons, and Carrie would be nice and try to be friends, and Baby Jane would be like, who the fuck is this? I'm not going to let her in my spotlight and chop her head off. Baby Jane. Nice, Patrick.

I'm going to go to Carrie on this one, because Carrie doesn't have to be in close proximity to baby Jane to cause her harm. Whereas baby Jane has to be there, you know, some next to her in order to do anything to her. So I'm going to roll the carry on this one. All right, Kevin. Yeah, Carrie, she can kill baby Jane from across the room.

So it'd be easy, no problem. Carrie. Philip. I'm kind of glad I wasn't the deciding factor in this one, but I'm going to go carry too. I think she wins. All right, Carrie, moving on. Moving on to the next fight, Darth Vader versus the thing. That's a good one

That's one you got to think about Okay I know I think Darth Vader would beat the thing Because I think He'd be able to tell Who is the thing

And if a lightsaber It could chop them up In a bunch of pieces And he'd find a way to To burn it So I think I think Darth Vader'd be the thing

It would come up later Yeah Yeah and like The thing is kind of like a worm if you chop it in half it's like still alive so like he'd really have to burn all of it. Right.

And I'm predicting now I want Deadites versus the thing of the last last bracket. That's what I want. Oh Jesus. Amazing fight. I'm voting for the thing and I'll talk about it later. Come on. All right. Patrick.

Yeah, this would be tough because I agree I think Darth Vader would be able to know who you know because he's in the force he would know who's the thing and who isn't uh the question is though is would he be able to get rid of all of it in one sitting without it because you know what the thing does have a survival factor of taking you know pieces of it taking off to survive on so that would be the question um i think though with his ability and everything else i think he could do it. So I'm going to go with Darth Vader.

Kevin. Darth Vader easily. He's got the power of the dark side. He'd be able to sense who has it. Plus, he'd be able to sense it being around even when it's invisible. And it would just be no problem for him to take it out. And yeah, and chopping him up, chopping up the thing. Yes, it will come at you in more pieces, but he still has that ability to know where it's coming from. So Vader's going to win this one. Philip. I completely agree with you, Kevin.

I think that Darth Vader wins. It's a shame that the thing gets killed, but it would be a travesty if Darth Vader went out this early. Can I make an additional argument? No, the thing is dead. No, just like reconsider. Okay, Darth Vader is never alone. He always has minions all over the place,

and those fuckers are stupid as shit. You know all of them are going to get assimilated or turned or whatever it is doppelganged. That's a verb, right? Oh, my God. It's a porn genre called doppelgangang. Okay, I'm so sorry. That'd be a great movie.

I'm pretty sure there's pinnacles. I don't know. So, I mean, I just think that he'd be surrounded with the thing before he even noticed. Yes, I think he could sense it. But would he, he wouldn't even be aware of it because he's just not, he's not paying attention to his minions because he doesn't give a shit he's paying attention to the forest he can see Luke Skywalker in another shit

see he's paying attention to Luke Skywalker and not his minions have you seen the end of Rogue One yes he was by himself thing I'm okay so I'm just saying I just think you all are wrong and he went through all those all those super's wrong and I'm not

I'm not going to talk to you ever again the thing only had three movies the biggest alien badass ever. I'm pretty sure could kill an alien monster. Vader had seven movies. No, this is not how this. Come on, guys. This is your chance to take your bones here.

You're going to kill the thing. The thing had three movies. Vader had seven movies. Vader did shit. Fired. I'm out. Bye guys. Bye.

See later. All right, final chance. Anybody change in vote? No. Nope. All right, Darth Vader, moving on. On to our final fight of the round. Hannibal versus Jason.

Ooh, Mark. Going with Jason. I mean, Hannibal, you'll try out smart Jason, but I don't think he'll be able to figure out, well, you know, Jason does his mommy complex. Damn it. No, I don't think Hamble figured that out. I think Jason gets them.

Jason wins. Christy. This is kind of hard because I don't really relate these two together at all. So I'm trying to come up with a reason for one together. It's quite an odd matchup, isn't it?

Yeah. Some things are very similar and that's hard, and some things are very different and that's hard, but these are just too different, I think. I'd say that I would also, while I like Hannibal better, I would probably vote for Jason in a straight up physical fight.

So that's how I'm going to decide it. All right, Patrick. Yeah, this was a tough one for me because Jason is the unstoppable machine. But to me, Hannibal Lecter is scarier when it comes to what he is and what he does. he is smarter. Maybe he finds a way to hack Jason his little pieces. You know, Jason keeps coming. That's the only problem.

But it's hard for me to find an argument for Hannibal in this one as much as I want to. I'm going to have to go with Jason, even though I hate doing it. I'm just going to have to. Yeah, I'm right there with you. It sucks. Kevin. It's going to be Jason, of course. I mean, it doesn't matter if you cut him up into billions of pieces.

If you saw that garbage piece of crap, Jason goes the hell, they blew him up in the beginning. And he still came back. As black ooze. I just wonder if Hannibal would eat him or not. Rotten-ass meat, man. I think Jason would probably become Hannibal if he ate him. Yes, because even if Hannibal ate him, and Jason goes the hell, that doctor ate that Jason's heart, and that's how he became Jason. So Jason is an unstoppable force, so that there's no way.

Even if Bruce the Shark ate Jason, Jason would be a shark. I want to say that too bad. I wish they would make that movie. I think you need to pitch that to the sci-fi channel. some luck. Maybe they can get that guy from Incarnate to direct it. Oh, no.

Any of you artists out there, please draw a shark with a hockey mask because I would love to see that. I will do it tonight. All right, Philip. Yeah, no, same thing. I think it's going to be a sweep. I love Hannibal Lecter

way more than Jason. I think it's incredible that a just regular person made it this far, but that's how evil and deceptive he is. But you can't, there's no way he stands up to Jason. All right, Jason, moving on.

All right, so that leaves us with just three more battles here, guys. It's getting a little bit exciting. I guess I'll... We can take a break, and then we'll come back, and I'll hit these next two, and then Brian can bring it home for us. All right. Okay.

Awesome, thank you. I'm so excited about Deadites v. later. You guys ready to move on to see who's going to win this? Roger that. Sure. And we're back. It's the Deadites versus Kerry.

And Phillip, what do you think, man? The Deadites versus Kier. Man, I don't know. That's tough, dude. I think I got to go Deadites. don't know why, but that's who I'm going with. A vote for the Deadites, Kevin. I love Carrie, but I'm going to be different, Carrie.

It's hard to picture how that fight goes, huh? I'm going to explain it to you when it's my turn. Okay, we can't wait to hear that. Patrick, what's your vote? I'm going with the Deadites because I think they would just overwhelm her. what it would really take was we're one of them to come back as her mom, and that would probably fuck her up pretty good. Yes. And so I'm going to say the deadites take this one.

Christy? That is exactly what I was going to say. Like, they're going to totally fuck with her. They're going to come at her through her mom's body, and she's going to be, she's so emotionally delicate. And I'm not saying that that's a bad thing, but I think that they would overwhelm her before she could gain control of herself again. So vote for the deadites.

Yes. And Mark. Yeah, I'm surprised. This is a semi-final match. I'm going to go to the Deadites. I think, like everyone said, they'll overwhelm carry in the end. Okay, nobody's changing their vote. Nope.

All right. Deadites moving on. And the next battle is definitely a heavyweight match. It's Darth Vader versus Jason. Hmm. I got to go with Darth Vader on this one. I think that while Jason is pretty unstoppable, if there's anybody that's going to stop him,

it's going to be Darth Vader. A vote for Darth Vader, Kevin? Of course. I mean, I love Jason. He's my man since I was a kid. But Vader's been my man longer than Jason. So easily, I mean, no matter what form, whatever form, even the Uber,

Jason came at Vader, Vader would still win. Just the power of the force, man. He could feel him. So he would easily just chop him up into little bits. Yeah, he would still put himself back together. But Vader would win. Patrick?

This was kind of a weird matchup, really. Yeah, I mean, the obvious choice is Vader. But I just have to wonder, does Jason get the machete in there one good time beforehand? and, you know, but, no, I think you kind of have to go with Vader on this one. Darth Vader, Christy. Okay. Jason and Vader come face to face, and they take off their masks. They look exactly the same. Oh.

I think that Vader is going to be freaked out and see, like, how fragile humanity is and, like, hesitate. and Jason is a supernatural badass who doesn't think about anything because that's not driving him he's just like an animal and he's going to just thwack his head off with a machete so Jason

a vote for Jason Mark or what if they're the same person man it's a fun it's all in his head oh my God you guys new series this would be a great great fight to see, to be honest, but

much as I love Jason. Jason's already, they've both already been in space, this is the perfect matchup. I love Jason, but I I'm picking Vader. I mean, I think he has a move to counter all of Jason's moves, so in the end Vader wins.

Wow, okay, in a surprisingly lopsided victory to me anyway, Darth Vader takes Jason. Brian, bring it home, man. All right, I want everybody's strongest arguments. This is for the championship. The Deadites versus Darth Vader. What a show that would be.

Amazing. Amazing. All right. Mark. Okay. I think I'm going with Darth Vader on this. I mean, you could bring in hundreds of Deadites after him. I think he'll get them all.

He's not phased by numbers. as we've seen at the end of Rogue 1, he'd just do that for an hour on Deadites and kill them off. Doug Vader. All right, Christy. Again, my same argument against Vader with the thing

is the Vader with Deadites. Like, I don't think that he'd be paying attention to the underlings, and I know you're giving me this argument that, of course, you can take out a zillion people at a time, but I just think the Jedi's, they have no logic.

Like, Vader ultimately has a goal, and there's something to be said about having, like, no logic at all. Like, I don't think there's a lot he can do about it with not just numbers, but also the only goal being, like, to take him out in a swarm. Swarming, I think, is worth a win.

So Deadites were swarming. All right, Patrick. I'm also going to say to Deadites, and here's why. first of all, Vader is definitely powerful. I mean, there's no doubt about that, but he's also fragile in one way.

He has some good in him. He's a conflicted character. And I think the Deadites would play upon this mentally. And in that distraction, they would find a way to get to him and take him out. Wow, good argument, man. Excellent point.

We're all stupid. That's just because he voted with you. Because as powerful as Vader is, his body is actually very fragile. It's true. He's basically a body in a jar. Yeah. A badass jar. I won't say that jar ain't cool.

All right, Kevin. This is why he would win. Vader would win. I don't know if you guys have played the video games or read any of the expanded universe books. Numerous people have came at him. And with force pushes, boom, all the dead eyes would be. he pushed out of the way, much less vaporized. So, I mean, there'd be no way, even if they tried to come out with him, like maybe

someone, one of them, uh, coming back as Vader's mom, as Shimmie Skywalker. I mean, there'd be no way. Vader would just, just run through all these guys like, like it was nothing. So, I mean, Darth Vader is probably the strongest one in the galaxy. So, I mean, I don't care what anybody says. There'd be no way that no one can stop Vader. Well, I don't know. He did have that one movie where he was a whiny little bitch.

Oh, thanks. Only one? Well, a couple of them. He was a Darth Vader yet. That's Anakin's guy. Hey, man, it's same guy. Like, it's all part of the psyche. Like, shit can fuck him up.

That's why he hesitates and says, Luke I have your father. Like, spoiler. Like, he was Annie, then he was Anakin, then he was Darth Vader in Revenge of the Sith. And that's the Vader that can kick ass. Yeah, if you try to put him up against the first two, Yeah, dead ice would run through the little boy.

I think as he gets older, there's chinks in his armor. Like, he's regretting his life. I mean, come on. Yeah, that's all very true. Whatever. Not changing your vote, Kevin? Hell no. All right, Philip, break this tie.

And the winter lies on my shoulders again. When I went through this whole bracket, just in my head, head, what I came up with was Vader versus, I thought, Captain Howdy against the Dead Knights, actually. And that became kind of a more interesting battle because Captain Howdy is not actually a physical being, you know? Deadites, on the other hand, well, they're kind of not. I mean, they take the form of a bunch of physical beings. If they're not in that physical being, they can't do anything. And if they're in a physical being, Vader's going to whoop the shit at them.

So even though I'm kind of countering my argument against Deadites versus Baltimore, I got to go Vader on this one. I have a question real quick. Yeah. I'm sorry to hold this up at the very last minute. So you know how sometimes in Evil Dead objects come to life? Right. That's not considered a deadite. It's only when they inhabit bodies.

Or what? Tell me. Is it? I don't know. Because if that's true. Yeah. Because I always kind of wondered if they, I mean, the whole evil force itself. A whole, yeah.

It's part of the dead eyes. I felt like the dead eyes for just those like. The zombies. A whole bunch of little zombie demon baddies, you know. There's just a bunch of them. I think that there's an argument for the inanimate object angle here. I think you all need to reconsider. Even the time to take over.

Just think about it. Come on. They did take over. Ash's hand. Who's the saying they couldn't take over Vader's hand and he'd make itself? Oh my God. That is such an amazing parallel right there.

They can't take over Vader's anything. It's over. No, no, no, no. This is where I'm going to prove you guys wrong. Vader has mechanical hands, so there's no way they could have took over his mechanical hands. They can take over inanimate objects. Where have you been?

I just said this like five seconds ago. But they don't have, they don't have the power of the dark side, so either way, yeah. Does anybody change in the vote? Some person arguments here. He would not win this fight.

He cannot win this fight. You guys. Yes, he can't easily. He could win it with his mind. He could win it twice now. That is, you're wrong on so many levels. All right. He's the winner.

I protested this. And then it's only our four movies, Vader has seven. Yeah, but Star Wars isn't a horror movie. I guess I can't really see those first three. No, but I didn't see the second three. Those are the best ones. Hey, I do love Eagle Dead, though. Man, that's that's one that holds a close place in my heart.

Okay, whatever. Finish. Just finish it up. All right, I think we All right, we have our champion. It is Darth Vader. Ding, ding, ding. I think everyone

Everyone who listens to this is going to be so disappointed in us. In Darth Vader winning. I think everybody's going to be surprised. Next week, you're going to have to do a special episode just on the seven movies plus expanded universe. Oh, eight movies?

Oh, we had a Star Wars episode already. I didn't listen to all of them. Shit, shit, shit. Yeah, we did, we've only done, we've only done Rogue One so far, but we'll definitely be doing the new movie this year. I did all of them. Yeah, there you go. You know I need to be the first two in Rogue One. Okay, so.

No. I can't believe you're doing this right now. Yes, that's a sound of victory. And, of course, our winner, Darth Vader, because he's from a science fiction movie, and we're a horror podcast, right? That makes sense. I kind of go hand in hand.

Okay, real good. Well, we really, man, we can't thank you guys enough for being on the show with us. It means the world to us that you guys were willing to come on. So we're going to, we'd like to do something that we start out all of our shows with. And we'll start with you, Mark. First of all, we want to ask you, what was your cool of the week, man? What was the coolest thing you've seen this week?

The coolest thing I've seen this week. Okay. Well, I went to go see Logan in theaters this week, and that was a pretty cool movie. That's pretty cool. It was a very different X-N movie. It's weird hearing Professor Exxie. Xavier say fuck. But I mean,

there's a movie that does tug at the heartstrings, and I enjoyed the experience. All right. Christy, what about you? I'd say this kind of, I'm cheating a little bit because this is last week, but I read that Get Out will lead to five more social commentary horror movies.

Oh, wow. I'm excited about that. Yeah. So that's mine. So you saw Get Out this week? I saw it last week. Oh, cool. All right. Yeah, that was, so far you guys have just mentioned two things that we rated really highly on the show. Patrick, what about you, man?

Yeah, that was actually, I was going to say, it's probably my cool the week. I did finally get out to see it out. Not that I was dragging my feet. I just didn't have time to get around and get into it. So I did go see that earlier last week and thought it was great. Kevin, what about you, man? The second to the last episode is Season 3 of Black Mirror. the episode Men Against Fire. Yes. Out of all the, all 13 episodes, I think that's my number one favorite.

I just watched that one yesterday. That one was amazing. The one when those soldiers had those implants and they were chasing the people they were calling roaches that look like monsters in the countryside. I got it. Yeah, yeah. The social commentary behind that one was amazing, I thought. I think that was my favorite.

episode. That was the coolest thing I've seen this week. All right. Well, Mark, before we say goodnight to everybody here, you got any final things you want to say, and do you have anything to plug? Nothing to plug. I mean, I had a blog, but that's pretty much dead now. So if anybody wants to talk to me, you can just find me on the Facebook.

And I just want to say thanks for having me. It was great to play this March Madness of Horer villains. And look forward to hang out all of you again. Awesome. Can't wait to have you back. Christy, how about you? I don't have anything to plug necessarily, but thanks for having me on. It's super fun to revisit the old geek fact days. I guess just listen to more the horror returns, question mark.

We're going to erase the question mark. I can just say, yeah. Patrick? I don't really have anything to plug. I just want to say thanks for having me on the show. Kevin, it was good meeting you too, since I'm a recent listener to your stuff. I did want to say I am doing, there's a Comic Con coming out here to Kansas City next month. It's like the end of the month.

And I know Lance has sending me some horror return stuff. And Kevin, if you want to get with me and send me if you got any cards for your stuff, I'd be more than happy to pimp you guys out too. But that's about the one thing I've got going on this month. I'm just looking forward to future episodes. All right, Kevin, what do you got going on, man? Other than my show, we just dropped episode 34 of the East Society podcast. We just did kind of like a special episode about all the black mirror. I just put out a McNez podcast, my last episode, episode 66 the other day.

When Phil, we talked about a Nightstocker on that one, the Colchack TV. series or not CV the movie um and that's about it just listen to the macnese podcast as well as the east society and uh check out my other segment on horacopias um on their podcast when i do the native side with nez when uh blind frankenstein and i talk about whatever we come up with and other than that man uh can't wait to get to texas fribear in another month or so and uh we'll definitely do some stuff down there and uh hey everyone thank you for letting me be a part of this and meeting all of you. This is awesome. I hope we can all just do this all again someday. All right. Cool. Well, as always, listeners, we want to thank

you guys for listening to another episode of The Horror Returns. We'd love to hear your feedback and ideas. You can always reach us at the Horror Returns at gmail.com. Be sure to follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Podbean, et cetera. Just search for the Horror Returns. Look for us on iTunes, rate us and review us so we can bring you guys bigger and better stuff. Next week, we're going to be reviewing, again, because we're a horror podcast, we're going to be reviewing another sci-fi movie, Ghost in the Shell, and also talking about the original The Matrix. So, Patrick, until the horror returns again, good night.