The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #443: Children Of The Corn Retrospective - Disciples Of The Crow (1983) & Children Of The Corn: Runaway (2018)

Episode Date: November 21, 2024

Steve joins us again for our next retrospective in this classic series. Cool of the week includes Cobra Kai and Investigation Alien. Trailer is The Invisible Raptor. The podcast spotlight shines on Cinematic Suffering. And we get feedback from Sabrina Voerman, Chanel Carter, Larena Krohe, Darren Roden, James Jack, David Glazener, David Barta, Doug Huxley, Mark Komarzynski, Maurizio Colombo, Steve Loder, Shannon Carrier, Anthony Allen Jr., and Johnny Ray. Thanks for listening! The Horror Returns Website: https://thehorrorreturns.com THR YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/@thehorrorreturnspodcast3277 THR Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thehorrorreturns THR Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thehorrorreturns/ Join THR Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1056143707851246 THR X: https://twitter.com/horror_returns?s=21&t=XKcrrOBZ7mzjwJY0ZJWrGA THR Instagram: https://instagram.com/thehorrorreturns?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= THR TeePublic: https://www.teepublic.com/user/the-horror-returns SK8ER Nez Podcast Network: https://www.podbean.com/pu/pbblog-p3n57-c4166 E Society Spotify For Podcasters: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/esoc E Society YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCliC6x_a7p3kTV_0LC4S10A Music By: Steve Carleton Of The Geekz

Regings victims, for those of you who delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify gore, welcome. You have found the place where the horror returns. Listeners beware, this podcast contains major plot spoilers, and the foulest, of language. Join us in celebrating the old and the new, the best, and the worst in horror. Welcome back, one and all to the horror returns. I'm Lance with me as always, the effervescent, always effervescent Brian and the always I don't either and they always affluent Philip

what does that mean? Who's got a fucking dictionary so we look this shit up bringing your SAT words today all right that's having more sexual than your blue snowball is a microphone all right I'm sorry the most the most important part though

is that we have the electrifying Steve Carlton from the geeks with us again. What's up, man, two weeks in a row.

Man, I mean, if you have listeners out there that hate me, then this is really bad for them. I don't think there's a person in the world that sucks for you, man. They're like,

oh, fucking two weeks in a row. God damn. Yeah, but this for having me back, but this week we're, keep pulling me back. We're back to normal,

though, with our shows with Steve. We're back to Children of the Corn retrospective. Which two did you pick for us this week, guys? And I say guys,

because I don't know if Steve picked it or Brian, so. Oh, we're running through the whole filmography. We got, was it Disciples of the Crow,

the short film, which we should have probably did when we did the original one, but I forgot about it. I never seen it until yesterday. Yeah, me too. What else we got?

Children of the Runaway. Run away. All right. Cool. How many more of these things can than possibly be? We got one more. That's it.

Oh, no. Both of them are remakes of the original movie. Oh, okay. All right. So. Oh, there you get. We'll come full circle. What's on the slate for next week?

Oh, we got a commentary, right, Brian? Yep. A little holiday commentator. Terry, what are we doing Black Friday? Black Friday. Get in line, folks. It's never too early

to start shopping and spending that money. Oh, that's Black Christmas. Never mind. Yeah. No, no. I was like, oh, no. We've been done, bro. Thank God. We reviewed that, too.

That was not a fun time. The original one with Margot Kidder was good. But Which original? There's been like six of them now, haven't there? Oh, I called the Markham Kitter 1 original. That's my original. Gotcha.

Gotcha. All right. Cool. So, we talked a little bit about the geeks last week. Is there anything else new? Because I know we got a new wrestling returns up. So what's in the pipe, guys?

The big thing for the geeks, the only thing new that we've done recently is we did a fight commentary for the Logan or the Jake Paul and Mike Tyson fight. We did two undercard fights and no, I think maybe it was actually just one undercard fight and in the main fight. We were talking and trying to get shit working while one of the undercard fights was going on. But it actually was pretty cool. We all came on in suits. Yes, you looked.

You looked in suits and ties. We had a little sports intro. You probably have more business there than Rosie Perez. Oh, man. Oh, we fancast. I was like, look, it's John Malaney, freaking Maya Rudolph, and who did I call the other guy? Wayne Brady. Brian was there.

Thank you, Brian, for schooling me on who they were actual fighters, because I don't know boxing that well. Which is crazy, because I went to high school with a professional boxer and got in trouble by his dad. It was a security guard. but um now that was a lot of fun doing the uh doing the commentary that might be something we look look at doing even more often than not now especially because uh we had my buddy jason on there jason lino and he was just running the show man he was just that guy he was just constant commentary so that was what you guys think about it oh the jake paul fight is my not cool of the week but the the lady fight before that was awesome yeah they were beating the hell out of each other

The one lady's whole shit was hanging out. I was like, I couldn't even watch it. I was like, oh, I know. The Irish chick kept punching her right in the same spot. Legina on her eyebrow. But, yeah, that Tyson fight. Oof. It was just boring.

Yeah, I don't know what people expected at. Everybody's getting so upset online. Yeah. I don't know what any, I think, I didn't expect him to go all eight rounds. It was kind of got sad towards like round six. I was hoping for like, you know, let's get this wrapped up really quickly. But like he was just gassed and he's so tired at the end. But in watching the replays and stuff, it does, you know, I love conspiracies, Phil, you and me both.

So in watching the replays, there's plenty of times where it sure looks like Mike did not follow through and like had an opening and didn't take it. And, you know, lots of little things like that. I'm like, there were some things like that. But also, Jake Paul could have finished him off in the second. around like well he's he said after the fight he was scared he was terrified to be in there with him oh yeah well sure he's got to say that right i don't know man he didn't have to say that he he had tyson stumbling and he like just stopped stopped swinging stop getting aggressive stop going in there's people pointing out mike tyson's training footage those are a little

short bursts of 20 second footage which is what he did at the very beginning of the fight right yeah i mean i called what i wanted was tyson knocking him out in the second the reason i said that because if it goes past second tyson's not going to have his legs under him sure i looked like he had a bad bad leg anyway boy when that started though with his quick feet i was like oh shit he's gonna knock this boy out and then and plus everybody got to understand this is not killer mike anymore this is lovable he's 58 years old old mike He had a whole Scooby-Doo cartoon. It was awesome.

I mean, after the fight, they made a joke, why don't you fight Logan? And Logan was like, I'll fucking kill you. And then Mike just kind of like, ah, ha, ha, that's not Killer Mike. Yeah. Killer Mike would have beat him up in the ring right then and there. That's true. He was getting pretty dark there before the fight, though. I thought he was actually going to be serious.

I think he was serious with it. The problem is he's almost 60 years old. I mean, Father time is undefeated. dude i did really like that like you know jake pa came out with his fucking in a car with his whole you know big show and all this shit and then Tyson came out by himself yeah old school yeah with his i was hoping for the hood i was like if we see the hood it's going down he came out without the hood i was like oh that's the first yeah but like after that second round when he could have ended him easily i think they both just sort of patty kagged back and forth

I think of Jake Paul let him hit him a few times. But if Jake Paul knocked him out, like, it almost be like, what are you doing, man? Yeah, he's an old man. And I think that's knocking him out. Like, he might not get up. That's a high age to be taken, like, to be going night night when you're not supposed to do. It's just not a good look. It would have been sad, I think.

Say what you want, love them or hate him. Jake Paul is a smart businessman. Yeah. For sure. I'd say so. He came up with this whole. fucking circus. He gave you the real fights before the main event.

And two fights before the main event were amazing. Yeah, both fights were really good. The first one was... Yeah, I don't know much about all the boxers, but the fight before the female fight was good. Everybody was going, coming down on Tyson. They said that man made $20 million for 16 minutes. Yeah. He probably still owes money to dunking.

And then that's the thing. Like, that's what they made. made from the purse, but like all the other crap, like, how much did, are they getting paid for the logos they're wearing on their shorts? And how much did Jake Paul get paid for that little green or yellow candy sprayed on its own when he first walked in the stadium, you know? That's his product. That energy drink, all the boxes were drinking, that is energy during. Celsius or whatever.

I saw this clip where like they were fighting the brothers because like they wouldn't let Logan Paul bring any prime shit and he was all pissed off. Oh. Oh. I'm surprised he held up the can. Like conflict. Those dudes are going to be super rich for a long time, I think. On the wrestling returns,

Nez asked me, I don't know if he asked me or if I was just talking about it, but I think he, Jake only has one big fight left. You think so? Yeah. Nobody wants to see. Jake fight after Tyson. The only fight left is fighting his brother.

If he could, well, yeah, that'd be definitely fun. That'd be a big one. That'd be way fun. But I, dude, Jake Paul's got some hands. I think he could fight a real fighter. Logan Paul can't, but Jake can't. And what I mean by big money fight is he's not getting the 60 million to fight a real boxer. Because he fought a real boxer before when he fought Tyson Fury's brother. And he lost that. one. Okay. Yeah, debatable, but yeah. Oh, it was definitely, definitely could have went either way, but yeah.

The actual only legit boxer he faced, he lost, too. I was just kind of hoping for a Cinderella night, you know, stars aligning and seeing some cool shit and like, we got it just not during the main event. That's all. Yeah. There you go, man. But it was still really good seeing him last that long, man. couldn't do that at 58. Fuck that.

But what was sadder than Mike Tyson being in there was when they tried to interview Evander Holyfield. Oh, I didn't even see that part. Yeah. It came off like he just couldn't hear. They kept saying because of the noise in the arena, but they were asking questions. And he was like, huh? What?

Glad to be here. A missing part of my ear, you got to speak up. Philip, you got to share that video. with him, dude. The interview, the nihilistic Mike Tyson interview with the kid. Tyson was, like, being interviewed by this little girl, and

she, like, asked him about his legacy, and he's like, legacy don't mean nothing. It's just something that somebody made up. Nothing. When you're dead, you're gone. It's just dust. Nothing matters. It got pretty dark. It's like, damn.

Mike Tyson's a nihilist. But I like, I like, you know, Nileus Mike is kind of fun, but I like happy sweet Mike, too. Like, I saw this video of him exchanging gifts with Evander Holyfield. He handed him a little present. He was all happy and giggly and shit. And Evangeloved opened it up and it was a bag of gummy ears. I was hoping.

Cherry flavored. And Van der Holyfield's like, perfect. Don't taste like cherry? Mike's like, yes, they do. Evander wants to finish the trilogy with Mike Tyson in a fight. And Mike just was like, the trilogy is our friendship. Can't do it. Oh, wow.

That's amazing. How old is he Vander, dude? He's got to be like... How old did he look or how old is he now? They'd be out there in walkers. It's the mileage, bro. They put a lot of miles on those bodies. You can't get hit in the head that many times for that long and still be functional.

True. So that's the not so cool of the week, Steve? Yes, yes. Flip the coin for us, man. Please. Cool the week definitely has to go to. To Cobra Kai, part two of season six came out. I'll second that.

I'll second that. So young past me. Binged right through that shit. And, uh, you know, I don't know how spoiler we can get. Because it just came out. Oh, man. Let's let Brian make the call on this one. I mean, I'm not going to say names.

I wouldn't say anybody's names or anything like that. But like, something very bad happens to a child. Yes. part two. Something very bad. Something worse than a broken back? Worse than that? Worse than that? And it's like, I don't know. Something you can't come back from.

Yeah. Like the whole episode leaving up to that. I was like, what is this Mickey Mouse shit? And then that happens and I'm like, oh my God. Are we talking Epstein Island stuff? Oh, no, no sexy time. It's just, it's like, but it's. Children on the show, Lance. Yeah.

There's nothing dirty like that. But like, let's just say that, there's probably a character that ain't ain't gonna be around in part three. Yeah, they do an excellent job of leaving off a cliffhanger because I thought it was

just going to be one of those episodes where it just ends. But they just, the way they left it off, you, what we ain't getting part three until February? Not too long to wait. Yeah, I think so.

It's, it was really, But like everything is silly in the show still except for the fact that like in this whole part two, like it's just about all these kids fucking each other and getting drunk at parties and like getting bites and shit. Like what is happening? It's all part of the grown. They're all in their like late 20s now. That's right. And then you did get CGI Pat Marita, which was a shocking scene. I was like, oh my God.

I was like I like the guy who they cast as the young Pat Marito. I'm like, that kind of works. And then Daniel Son did the thing, and he looked through his hands, and it was like, CGI. Old man, Pat Rayda, like, I would do it. I was like, what? And you know what? It actually looked all right.

It looked on it. Yeah. Better than some of the Star Wars stuff, huh? And what would Cobra Kai be without a whole scene dedicated to two old men beating the shit out of each other? Oh, of course. Of course. I love watching the old guys that can barely walk through a scene.

suddenly like all you can see is they're back and they're doing spin kicks you know art imitating life right philip yeah there it is my wife was watching and my wife is like she's you know she's like it's silly i'm like it is silly i'm like but like i want to live in this world like random karate fights just like that's how people squash their shit like they you know i don't see a lot of drive-biz and copacat i see you know people getting spin kicked in the face and i'd much rather be able i would go head first into the world the worst thing i had to worry about it's like getting a spin kick to the face because like you got to put yourself in that position and I would just put it.

I want to be a lot better a lot better to think of than like maybe you know Putin considering using nukes right? Yeah yeah yeah there's that. World War III. That'll do it. Everybody's like, it's coming out in 2026. I'm like, is it? puts everything in perspective.

All right. So we got two for Kobe Kai for sure, right? Yes. Cobra Kai. I'll jump in. I got some more alien stuff. Oh, here we go. So on Netflix, there's a new one called Investigation Alien.

And it's George Knapp through the whole thing. I don't know if you guys know who George Knapp is, but he is, and one of the original journalists from Nevada from way back in the day. He still works on one of their TV stations or whatever. But he brought Bob Lazar to the world and showed his story. and all that. If it comes from George Knapp and Jeremy Corbell, it's legit stuff. All the other stuff?

I don't know. Questionable? Yeah, but they have real sources. They're not going to put it out. They're not going to put it out unless it's real. And they've got some, it's a pretty comprehensive view of what we know to date. And they even showed a video that I either saw and. and just waved it off as bullshit or I haven't seen it.

But it's this jellyfish video of like a Black Op's site, a CIA site in Afghanistan. They follow it for quite a ways in that video, man. Yeah. And it's just this weird little fucking floaty thing just skimming across the top of the, and it's an IR, so you can't see it with a naked eye. But it's just floating across the whole site, and it's creepy as fuck. And it was released by like some CIA whistleblower who has yet to be named.

But like a legit guy. Like this stuff is fucking real, man. I'm telling you. They're just slow leaking it to the public. And I think this one was the most comprehensive, like real shit that's out there. It's not super duper exciting. It's a little bit slow. But they've got some great stories.

They go to Brazil. There's all kinds of shit in Brazil. They've had all kinds of encounters. Good stuff, man. I watched at least one episode of that. And I like George Knapp. But there was just a couple of times in the show where he would like get told something by somebody. And then he would go tell it, but he would like add something.

I'm like, that's not what they said. And then he would like go back and do the thing. And then like the telephone game. No. Well, no, I didn't say that. I said this. And he's like, okay, okay. And I'm like, eh.

Yeah. It's also one of those where like every conversation is very scripted and it's like you can tell. But it does have good information in there if you want to check out some of the newest UFO stuff. We do need a good new, like we need new shit, some new videos to get leaked out there. Come on. I'm waiting for them to like really give us some. It's like either shit or get off the pot at this point. You got to give me... Like you say you have non-human biologics. Well, what the fuck does that mean? They're always so cagey about their language,

and they're very careful with their wording. And so I don't... Non-human biologics could be a fucking... That could be a germ. It could be a... Cockroach. So I'm waiting for him to... The problem is the AI...

To bring the hammer down. You just never know what's real. You see shit on. I'm like, I know. That looks good. Then I'm like, oh, it's probably a fucking... See, that's... what i'm saying because i've seen a lot of other footage that jellyfish one was yeah that's real i've

blew my fucking mind man uh and there's all kinds of other footage out there of these like people catching pictures of these jellyfish things and they look really similar okay but like higher quality pictures but i don't know how real those are you know really okay yeah well because i some dude took a picture at area 51 is a whole lot different than oh the cia guy fucking it to the press because he was like the public and he used to know this. I want to know what happened at that mall in Miami. Remember when all that crazy shit went down? Yeah, I never really knew.

And there's still like not a lot of information out there about it. It's just like some weird shit happened. Hold on. Hold on. Back up. What are you talking about? Mall and Miami. Yeah, there was a story that came out, but I didn't really get the full story.

I thought it was bullshit. I'm not sure what happened. I remember when it was like it was shut down. Like, they were people live filming them shutting down the mall and cops and fucking all kinds of weird vehicles surrounding that shit everywhere. Like something happened. For real, for real. But, like, nobody says what happened. I don't know.

There's just a lot of weird conflicting reports. They were saying, like, there was some weird creature or creatures there. I'm like, shit. Why? Yeah. For real. I'm like, I don't know, right? But, like, again, I'm a fan of the supernatural stuff.

Like, I would love to live, I would love to believe, you know, and have a world where all that stuff exists. So I'll lean into it for sure. Like, until you tell me there wasn't a creature, you can't tell me there wasn't. See, that's where I have to be careful because I want it to exist so bad that sometimes I can get duped. But I'm telling you, dude, like the government stuff is either, so there's either a conspiracy that they've been lying and hiding it and covering it up, which is, you know, the normal alien conspiracy. or dude they say that it's there they've got ships they've got non-human biologics whatever the fuck that means so your conspiracy theory now has to be well they're lying to us now they're either lying to us then or they're lying to us now there's no middle ground so pick your

poison my favorite conspiracies of the the existing space fleet that we have have had for decades and there's like you know there's like whole stories people come out and they're like, oh, no, I fucking did this whole thing. It was like way over here in this other star system and all this shit. Oh, wow. Like, that'd be fucking tight. Like, could you imagine? Yeah.

That's so cool. Like, alienated coming down and then our government's like, okay, calm down, everybody. We got this. Like, we've been doing this shit for a long time. Like, oh, but you couldn't figure out health care. Weird. Yeah. Brian, you want to weigh in?

I like the ones on the dark side of the moon. Or the whole. The Nazis. The Hades with the... The whole in Antarctica is the Nazis. I like the whatever you get like the footage that's supposedly found, like the archive footage from the dark side of the moon where it shows the, like the structures and stuff like that. You know, half of that shit's nonsense or almost all, maybe all of it. I don't even know. Maybe there's a lot of weird shit on Mars and what seems to be nuclear fallout.

Really? So, yeah. Huh. Like, Brian, Brian, I want to hear Brian weigh in. I want to hear Brian weigh in. Way in on what? On what?

The existence of extraterrestrials. And like, have they come here to Earth? Been here. Maybe been here the whole time. Could be on this panel right now. We wouldn't know. Probably why we're here, I think. That says it all.

Could be one of our subscribers. Let us. know if you have any inside information dude on your couch. That would be awesome. All right. Investigation Alien, huh? Yeah. Pretty good, man.

All right. A little slow bit. Good info. All right. All right, Brian. What do we got, man? I got some shows. I got some movies. Since we were talking about fights, I also want to shout out the John Jones-Stepe-Miochitz. heavyweight UFC fight.

Is John Jones unstoppable? Yeah, I mean, that guy did a spinning back kick to the body to probably one of the greatest heavy weights of the UFC modern era and then did the Trump dance after

to celebrate. Is that blasting or what? Dang, from a tummy shot. Like, wow, and then you get danced on? That's rough. It's a rough out of.

What else, so I got a couple of shows. I finished teacup on Peacock. How is that? I enjoyed it. It's not what I thought it was, Phil. I think you should check it out because it's... Teacup? I'm not going to spoil it, but it's right up your alley.

Okay. Yeah, I'll check it out. We got Peacock. Hopefully it gets the season two. I know a lot of these streaming services are really fun. on renewing stuff. If it's not an absolute hit right out the gate, then it usually doesn't get renewed.

But I think this and hysteria, from what I understand, is going to get to the second season. Okay. Hysteria could if they want, like that story is pretty wrapped up. But if they wanted to push it further, they could.

Going on a different direction, maybe. Yeah. That's a good show, man. checked out the first two episode of the creep tapes the spin-off. Oh, yes. Oh, is that out? Been meaning to ask you about that. It's exactly what we thought it was going to be. It was going to be a little small episodes from each tape.

Awesome. They're probably around not even 30 minutes. They're like 25 minutes, 22 minutes around there. They're basically what the movies are, but just in the short and and it's a different victim every episode. Do they still have time to get from like, you know,

sort of cordial and nice to getting a little bit creepy to murdering? That's the one problem I have with it. I think the episode should have been a little bit longer because it seems like he meets the person and then just instantly he's just fucking weird and wacky. Yeah. The magic of editing. They just cut out all.

Right. So that's on shutter right now. Okay. Damn, I got a lot of shit to watch. Steve, I wanted to bring this one up for you. I know you're a fan of Superstore. Have you seen St. Dennis Medical? I haven't, but I know that Sandra is in it.

A lot of people from Superstores in it. Made by the same people. Okay. Superstores are phenomenal. That show is dirty, too. man in the later seasons that show got nasty i didn't see the later seasons i watched the first couple of seasons and it was pretty fantastic later seasons was all about fucking yeah that was it and especially especially after especially after dina wore the cop outfit on the hollween episode then it the whole show changed after that i was like so uh check that that that possibly could be

a replacement for superstar what's that on uh p-cart okay I will check that It looks funny I've seen a preview or two for it Yeah Beverly from the Goldbergs is running the The hospital So David Allen Greer is in there

Oh Love Deg Okay Gotta have some dag Had seen him in a minute Let's see A couple movies I watched I checked out a found footage movie on screenbox

It just dropped on screen box and it's produced by J.W. From Jersey Shore. What? Oh, produced. All right. No, directed. Directed? Directed? Get the fuck out of here.

So it has to be really good. I'll say if you're into the, like, ghost hunting, put a scenario in where we have to end up with these cameras at some abandoned asylum. If you're a fan of those kind of movies, you'll really enjoy

this one because it scratches all the boxes. You got to get this gross some fucking bronze up in here. Oh, if I remember correctly in the very beginning, there is a bunch of bros thrown back and forth. Yeah. Of course. They got the gelled hair and everything.

But I will say it fell short for me because it, if you're into that, then like I said, you'll be into this movie. But it just, it's the same thing that you've already seen. scene. Nothing new. Just come up with a reason why these random people need to meet up at this asylum with their cameras and walk around searching for something. Okay.

Yeah. That's how they go. I mean, it's not bad, and I think it's like an hour and 12 minutes. It's not even an hour and a half. Okay. So, like I said, if you're into the found footage running around us, Scylum scared in the dark type movies and check it out. Okay.

A lot of shaky kid. Jay-Wow. Another downpoint for that movie. It was fucking hell of dark. Oh, you only get the flashlight view. Yeah. Because, I mean, I guess it makes sense because these are like random average people so they wouldn't have like night vision cameras and all the. So sure.

Did you, did I miss it? What was the reason they went to the asylum? What did they give? They all went crazy. The movie's called Devin. It's the Devin is a girl that went missing at a children's asylum. And years later, the asylum's abandoned. And this mysterious website pops up.

And it's asking people to, if you stay the night at the asylum, you'll get this amount of money. Oh, okay. got to find answers of what happened to Devin and of course five random people want the money for different reasons it doesn't even matter what they need the money for it's just yeah they get there and like i said they'll get there at exactly the same time on the same day they all they all come from different directions of the asylum almost like steve you can make a movie just come What would a scenario why these people need to be at this? You don't even really need to.

Like when we did our retrospective on I Know What You Did Last Summer, like on part two, like, how do we get him onto an island? Like, we'll just make up a radio contest. A radio contest that calls them. That's not why we're watching the movie. Yeah, it's like you don't even need reasons. That's funny. I'm trying to see. I think there was one more movie I checked out.

Oh, Black Cab. on Shudder star Nick Frost. And directed by Snow. Oh. Is that your, is that the cool of the week then? No, it was boring as hell. Wow. Nick Frost is awesome in it.

He plays a cab driver. He picks up this couple. Yeah. A lot of weird shit happens. You don't know if it's supernatural or if he's just fucking crazy or whatever. But it just wasn't enough of Nick Frost in it for me. kind of wanted the movie to be more about what worried about what he's going through

but it's new on shutter you got shutter check it out but cobra Kyle will have to be my cool of the week there you go trifecta they brought back a random ass character from karate kick through when they when they showed in there like

remember him and then I was like who the fuck and then they did the crashback I'm like shut up right I'm like, you're fucking digging now. Hillary Spank has to come in. But Steve, you got to. Oh, you know, I'll watch correct. It was a nothing throwaway character, but it was fucking cool as far.

It was. She just keep connecting the dots. Like, none of these people move. None of them moved away. And like, they're all, but now they're all in like, where are they at? Like, in Singapore or some shit. Like, or I don't even know where they're at. Or they're in Brazil.

Barcelona. Barcelona, man. Barcelona. Where, apparently the entire world knows karate. Yes. I look that way. But it's good fun. Good, clean fun.

Yeah. I did like, there was, like, a scene where, like, what's it, Danielson's wife is trying to get her son to apologize to one of these other kids, and they start fighting. She's in her car. She's, like, looks up. She's like, fucking karate. she's so fed up with this shit yeah she's like the same one walking through this insane world

and then she's watching on the screen as this as this part of the finale happens and i'm just like oh she's for sure for sure done with this shit now good lord so that show's good man yeah good show all right cool so uh brian we get we got to have some headlines this week right we're going to start with some TV news. Lady Gaga joins the cast of Wednesday season two. Okay. Is it going to be a musical?

Yeah. Ask Lance. He'll keep you up on the musical news. That's right. You got your tickets to Wicked already, Lance? Absolutely. Opening night. I knew he was going to watch that show.

I find everything, almost everything about that. like insufferable. It's kind of weird, isn't it? Like all the commercials, especially the Target one where she's like, the girls are singing with their giant platform shoes and all this. They're just like,

I just want to change it. I'll do you. I'll do you guys one better. I actually, AJ and I actually saw it on Broadway several years ago. So there you go. But now, for me to be like,

like, shitting all over it. It's not my cup of tea, but that sure does have its fans. bass and it was a huge musical it's getting really good reviews already the movie i jen gave it a nine but i jend doesn't really doesn't know its ass from its face because he gave penguin three so it's fucking done i heard good things about penguin um penguins fantastic so yeah i did ask my daughter just to make sure like you want to see this movie and she gave me a look that i think i would have allowed her to say

what the look meant because she gave me a look at fuck no well i was hoping that it would be based on the book, which is not a musical. Right. No, it's based on the play. But I'm sure they're going to take some elements from the book. It's a movie, so they're going to have to add some more stuff. You know, it's on a stage production. So I'm at some point going to see it, but I'm not paying to watch that.

I will find it and watch it another way because... I've never even seen cats, so I don't think I would watch Wicked. That one you can skip. I don't want to see cats, but I like... I like the desert of Oz, so, like, as a, as the property, like, all the different takes on it and stuff. So, I watched cats as like a, because I hate myself, I think. Oh, it's horrible. I just had to see it because it was so bad.

I was like, okay, if this is the worst movie ever, I have to watch it. Yeah. And then it kind of was. Yeah. It kind of was. Yeah, it was pretty awful. It kind of was. Because it's that bad and so much money went into it.

And there's so many people involved. like, not one of you motherfuckers looked around. It was like, what are we doing? The fuck are we doing? It's like every time something happens, some new character comes up, and I was like, what in the fuck were they thinking? Doesn't even make any sense. Well, speaking of what the fuck were they thinking, from the makers of,

what is it, the Winnie to Pooh, Blood and Honey movies. Blood and Honey? Okay. Popeye. I heard about this one, yeah. Underrated movie, the one with Robin Williams. I love that pop-bye movie. Yeah, it's funny.

It's funny. It's a musical. What's the name was Olive Oil? From The Shining. Shelly DeVoe. Yeah. See, that's where I knew her from before I ever watched The Shining. Oh, Popeye.

I only remember the opening scene where they were running through that weird town on stilts and shit. Right. That's the only part of that movie that I remember is that. I don't remember anything about it now. But it's been a while. I must have watched it a hundred times when I was little. We touched on, we touched on this on the geeks a little bit on Saturday,

but we were wondering if, like, he was going to, you were going to be, like, on the boat or wherever, I'm trying to hide from Popeye, and you're going to hear, like, heck, cack, cah. Oh, sure. Yeah. Like, I smell spinach. Like, I smell spinach.

Like, oh, no, he's perfect. Give me spinach. His giant forearms Mutant fucking beast That'd be awesome Huge forearm goes right Through somebody's face Yeah

He's gonna like He's gonna have to like say his taglines Like after he kills somebody He's like, well blow me down Or whatever No that's pop by the porn version It's made by the same people They made blood and honey

So we might get a little bit of that Yeah for sure Might get some T&A Let's see Melissa Barrera, she's going to be in a western thriller called The Cradle of Granite. Okay. We need more Western thrillers. Yeah.

Scary Westerns. That's what I was thinking. I was like, I had that thought the other day. Like, why don't we have like a slasher movie, right? But it takes place in the Old West. That would be amazing. It could be. That would be amazing.

All Old West setting, like, just everything's normal, but there's a fucking mass killer running around? Like, how would those people deal with it? And they'd get a posse together and like crazy shit would happen. Yes. Like, why don't we have that? Even something like the witch, but in the old west, you know? Like, that'd be cool. That's true.

Bone Tomahawk was kind of like that. Oh, that was amazing. That was a good one. Some news for you, Lance. The heretic filmmakers have ideas for spiritual sequels. Okay. So, kind of maybe different casts, but sort of going around some of the same concepts, maybe.

No. Spoiler. Well, I don't know. You might have had one final girl, right? But what does that mean? Spiritual sequel. That's what I'm wondering. Like, maybe Hugh Grant had, like, he was, like, part of a group.

They were all spread around. That would be interesting. And you could just drop in random British actors from the 90s and make him do creepy shit. Or he comes back because it's all a simulation. Can have what's his name from Steve from the Kingsman. Oh, Colin Firth. Yeah. That'd be good.

That's a good one. He can pull it off. I think he could pull it off. But Ray finds in there is one of them. Yeah. Why not? John Cleese. Oh, if we're going, John Cleese.

Menace be a silly walks. Then we have. have to go fucking Dane. Fucking Alfred from Batman. What's who? I can't think of his name. Michael Kane. Michael Kane.

So Michael Kane. For sure. You should have said fucking, you know who from Jaws the Revenge. Then we would have known what you were talking about. Hey, he does not hate that movie. No. Bottom of a Beat house, I understand. Speaking of Shark movies,

Under Paris is getting a sequel. I did not. watch that. Is it worth it? I usually wait for you guys to say. It's a fun movie. It's great. It's fucking stupid, ridiculous, but it's fun. But Santa Jaws was stupid and ridiculous, but I had a lot of fun with that too. I thought it was hilarious with the sleigh bells every time that shark game. It wouldn't have been, you know, it would have been like a two. And it was filmed like it up. Would they film it in like a lake or something?

But, like, it knew how shitty it was. No one was trying. Like, it was fun. I can appreciate movies like that. Everybody probably had a blast making this. I would imagine. I'm sure everybody on the set was blasted, too. Any kind of drug they could find.

All right. A couple more things here. I think we talked about, I think we talked about before Finn Wolfhardt was writing and directing a horror comedy slasher called Hell of a Summer. It's getting a. 2025 summer release date. Hmm. All right. Put his big boy pants on.

Okay. We'll see how it goes. Sure. You give a shot. I'm like, just give me the fuck. Finish trainer things. So we can just move on. We're almost there. We're almost there.

Yeah. What is this bullshit teaser trailer of the episode names? Just the names? Yeah. It's like the disappearance of blurry. I'm like, God, just put the, like, you remember how the last one ended, right? The last one ended with the whole group standing there, looking as their time was about to get fucked.

And, like, now you're like, it's been a time jump. What? Yeah, I know. They are prolonging this release date, kind of like, it took 30 minutes for the Jake Paul Tyson fight to start. Yes, at least. Millie Bobby Brown is a married woman. She'll be divorced by the time this is out. They're going to have to wrap this up before she's got a baby bump to hide.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I'm kidding. And lastly, Finn Wolfhard News again, he is writing and directing an idle hands remake, which is being produced by Jason Reitman. Sure. Now, that's tricky. He's got two movies going? Because idle hands is one of my, that's one of my favorites.

Yeah. The VHS in my collection of idle hands is mine from when I was a kid. Nice, nice. It's sentimental value. Yes, it's not a great movie, but I love it. I love, I'm a big fan of Devin Sawa, just like you guys. And also Eldon Henson and Seth Green killed it in that movie. Yeah, Suanisans and Jessica Alba.

Oh, yeah, oh my God. The movie's fantastic. Vivica A. Fox is terrible as always, but it's. It's awesome, you know? Like, that movie is gold. So, there's going to have to be careful. But that movie is a time capsule, too. Yeah.

Well, what do you want to bet Devin Sawah shows up, like, is an older, maybe like one of the teachers or the principal or something? Wouldn't that be great? That'd be great, like with one hand. That'd be awesome. You'd have to have a different role for him. That guy would never be a school principal. No? Well, he played, like, four different roles in Chuckie, the series.

So, who knows. Who would he be? He could work at that burger jewelry. He would be the one-arm janitor. He would take over Viveka A Fox's role. Okay. All right. I can see that. Drawing pentagrams connecting random cities that don't have anything to do with each other on a murder boards in your van. I love with that. She's like, holy shit. What?

So good. Wasn't even a perfect pentagram. either that she drew in a grand age she's like she had she had to like she had to lean a bit to make that circle yes yes like go way out here police work I love well I'm trying to pull up some of my scene devon saw he says he's excited so okay but it seems like an idea that could happen again like yeah sure sure yeah just said in like more of a modern modern timeline I guess Yeah. Oh, man.

All the texting and bullshit. I know. I know. Yeah. I think I like the 90s better. Yeah. Right. It does make sense.

Bring it to a new audience with the new, I mean, because it was very 90s, right? Like the fashion sense and all that shit. And so they're just going to have that with a new version. I like to see what this kid can do since he's seemingly trying to step away from, from what I understand, he's trying to step away from being in front of the camera. be more in the director's chair and do shit with his band. Sounds like he's definitely a fanboy, so, I mean, I think it's going to be good. I'm going to give it a shot.

Sounds interesting. All right. That's the news. Cautiously optimistic. How about that? Cautiously optimistic. There it is. Speaking of being cautiously optimistic, Steve, are you ready to cautiously and optimistically

take that little trip with us down? to the trailer park let's go all right Brian is going to bring us the big the small and sometimes the very very weird sometimes even invisible what's up this week Brian well we definitely got weird

and invisible we got the invisible Raptor the new horror comedy directed by my what was that little little light on the trailers this week are we that's the holidays Well, we could have reviewed the Stranger Things episode titles.

There you go. I think we did. Oh, there's words. This is directed by Mike Hiroshima. And this is starring. The only one I know is Sean Askin. Okay. Yeah.

I've seen character actors in there, there, though, people that I've seen in other things. Yeah. Like the old lady, I'm pretty sure that. She's from, like, might be from like Napoleon dynamite or something. Wasn't the jump to conclusions guy in here? Was he?

I think he was in there. Okay. He was like a security guy or something. I saw him with like a big mustache. Yeah. Yeah. What do you think, Steve? Well, if you, you know, elevator pitch, you're like, here's my idea, right?

It's a dinosaur movie, right? But like, it's going to cost you nothing because it's an invisible dinosaur. So it's like, sounds ridiculous, right? And it is. Right. This, the movie looks like it's going to be funny, you know. Again, this is kind of like what I was talking about with Santa Jones. It looks like everybody here is having a fucking blast.

Sean Ashton's sitting in this weird bat cave with a lab coat. What is, what the fuck are you doing? There's, I love the explanation. I love the explanation from the guy at the end of the trailer. That was fucking perfect. I'm like, okay, well, that sums up the movie. And, you know, you're going to have the paleontologist guy. kicking into the air and you're going to, the camera's going to follow nothing, and then you're

going to see a puff of dust. Like, it's so good. Right. I thought the trailer was pretty good, pretty funny. Bill? Yeah, I, uh, so I first saw the title on the screen when you sent it over and it was like The Invisible Raptor. And it was sort of this serious looking guy with blood on his face and he had a gun out.

And, uh, I was like, ah, what is this bullshit? whatever, I clicked on it, and I'm like, man, you know, it would be really cool if they actually did make a movie about an invisible raptor. I mean, I'm sure that's not what it is, but, uh, and then sure enough it is. I think it's, you click on it thing into some art house movie. I thought it was, yeah, I thought it was giving some stupid art house movie or something. Uh-huh. And then it started going and I was like, oh, I'm down for this a hundred percent.

Yeah, it's like Velocaster. Like, we're here. Like, this is, I'm here for that shit. I love that shit. This probably looks way better than me. Velasopaster. I would imagine. Lance?

Yeah, no, it looks fun. They got good end jokes. Like, he's, you know, starting to talk about the Invisible Man movie. He's like, no spoilers. No spoilers. I haven't seen it yet. So it's kind of cool. Like a nice little, you know, movie that was made probably five fans, four fans for, like you guys are saying, little and now.

There was one scene that kind of made me wonder and scratch my head. So it's an invisible raptor, but wasn't he holding like a visible claw or something like that that that fell off the raptor or something like that? I mean, he's at a museum like zoo thing area. I was just assuming that's just. For comparison, right? Like a raptor claw for comparison. Okay.

He probably grabbed that and took it over to somebody's neck cut and was like, they're going to like put it right next to it. You know, like, look, it fits, right? Did the invisible raptor shoot a shotgun? Yes. Upside down. Okay. That's what I needed to know. That happened.

Yeah. It looks like fun. It looks like fun, Brian. You picked us a good one to watch. I'm sure it's going to be straight to streaming, so hopefully we'll be able to find it, if nothing else out there, you know. It's pretty early. It says it were released October 20th, so I don't know if that was a limited release. Okay.

So I'll have to enter that into the search bar. We have ways to, or was it October 20th this year? Like, is it already out or we're talking about a year from now? There's no way they're delaying this movie a year. Okay. So that begs the question. The guy at the end, that begs the question, he's like, they're like, how did you make dinosaurs? Did you ever see Jurassic Park?

We did that. Right. Okay, that sums up. How'd you make him invisible? Like, you ever see the invisible man? And like, so did they cover him in some juice or do they give him a mirror suit? Like, which one do they do? What did they give him, like, is it the updated movie with the suit?

I want him to be wearing a mirror suit. Oh, that would be great. Oh, no. Somehow they developed a suit for a Raptor to wear, and that's what it is. Oh, my God. I just imagine, like, you know, a Raptor's head coming through the blinds in Jurassic Park, right? So the blinds open up. Sure, sure.

But then just take the Raptor way. So the blinds still open up, but there's just nothing there. Why not, man? You can see the fishing line? Like, when we were in a pinky, pinky. And you see the Raptor at the end, like, on fire. So at some point, they're going to, and they see them a little bit like with, like, predator vision. So at some point they get, like, a thermal camera or something.

So you're going to get little glimpses, but. Well, they do. That jellyfish video was, by the way. They do drop a predator line in there. Yes, they did. If it leaves with a face paint. Oh, they throws him the gun. He's like, there's two shares of town.

He throws them and they drops that. He's like, oh, that could have been so cool. That's going to be funny. All right, that's our only trailer. Okay, I guess that means it's my turn. Since I pull my shit up here. God damn it. All right.

Here we go. Listen to feedback. This week, we signed the podcast spotlight on cinematic suffering. Cinematic Suffering is a podcast that delves deep into the raw emotional experience portrayed in film, exploring the complex nuances of human suffering through iconic movie scenes and character arcs, offering a critical analysis of how cinema captures the depths of pain, loss, and trauma while inviting listeners to reflect on their own lives through the lens of the silver screen. Cinematic suffering. Check that out.

And we've got some... Feel good podcasts of the year, huh? Telling you. Some Hellraiser stuff in there. In regards to Repo, the Genetic Opera. Good luck. Yeah. Sackbrenna?

Sorry. Vorman says classic. In regards to Terror Fire 3. Chanel Cardier says Art. was a smack in the fuck out of the back of Siena's head in this movie, and that was my favorite part. Every time he walked past her, way. And was that before or after she was wearing the crown of thorns? Either way, it was fucked up.

Yeah. Darren Roder says, Darren Rodin says, didn't enjoy this one. Didn't enjoy this one absolutely terrible. Oh, wow. The other two were far better, and they need to up their game for the fourth. What? James Jack said, I bet they had the best laugh ever making that. Probably so.

I don't know, man. I liked it a lot. In regards to Tusk, Larina Crowe says, I could have gone without ever watching this. Aw, Tusk is fine. I liked it. It stuck with me. But I have a bias, though.

I like Kevin Smith. See, and I really like, what's his name? Justin Long. Justin Long, yeah. And Michael Parks. Michael Parks is great. He was good in Red State. He's always great.

What's his name was the friend, Haley Joe Osmond? Oh, yeah. And they were podcasters. Come on. Maybe scratching all the things. In regards to the witch, David Glaziner says, Excellent movie, great period film. Leave the subtitles on.

easier follow. It makes sense. I can see that. It gets easier as you go. But at the beginning of the film, you got to get used to it.

Matt Moon says my favorite movie of the last 25 years. Bam. Okay. The witch? I guess so. Right up there

with the heretic, huh Lance? Not quite, but it's good. It's good. It can be in the top 20 maybe. Is that your number one movie of the year? The witch? No.

Right now it is. We'll see if anything. What do you mean right now? It's the highest score movie. I think that's that the highest score you've ever given? Okay, but what if Night Swim 2 comes out between now and December 301, Brian? Well, that has to win. Day Swim. The only big movie that's coming out from now is the Nospiratu. That could be good

That looks really Trailers look amazing Yeah AJ's even down That could have been in news But they said You will not You will not see

What Nassaratu looks like Until you watch the movie Okay That's cool I like that I like that All right In regards to Abigail

David David Barta Says my favorite film Of 2024 so far Okay Speaking of which Yeah It was

And it does it feel like it. It felt like it was last year. Yeah. Hey, speaking of David Bardo, buddy, listen, man, we, we asked you last week, I sent you an email today. Stop harassing the man. We got to, I'm harassing you, David Bardo. We got to know your picks, dude. I know everything. What does he brought up like 20 movies to recommend for, for his Patreon picks of every single one of them. We've reviewed. So, okay, black sheep. We already said black sheep. We haven't seen. right yeah if you need ideas just email us david just let us know dude we want to get you on the show so bad so we're going to figure this out all right uh and you're gonna keep having me back

until you fucking until you there you go every fucking week until you come on david uh speaking of david he's here on this one too in regards to lights out he said uh love this one teresa palmer is great and have we done that one brine Have we done that? I don't think we have. I don't think so. I'll check the spreadsheet. There's another idea.

It doesn't exist. Okay. That's right. No, I think we've all talked about it at some point. After you get to a certain amount of years doing the show, you can just review it again. That's what we're doing. That's true. We're just reviewing it again.

In regards to Shadow of God. I don't think I've ever seen that. Shadow of God. Another one we haven't covered, David. That's the Willem Defoe Nassirotu movie. Oh, okay. Okay, well, another one. Because he's in the new one, too.

Doug Huxley says, Can you include info on the release date of the movie in your posts, please? I never know whether it's concept art, a movie being made, or one that's already out. Good point. I don't think the filmmakers even know the release date at the time. Look, you have the internet. Reverse image search like the rest of us do.

In regards to slumber party massacre, Mark Komarzynski says a good slasher with a young Brink Stevens, even though she doesn't last too long. Plus Robin Still and a cute Andre Anor. Sure. That is a movie we did cover. Vanessa was with us on that one. That was fun. And the upcoming horror version of Pai Pai Paiai, Maricio Colombo says no, please no. So if Popeye's the villain, will Bluto be the hero?

Or Bluto's the villain? They team up, who knows? Maybe. Or Olive's the hero? Yes, she's the final girl. She's the final girl. That lives the final girl. Maybe it'll go back classic.

Or it's just some chick with black hair and a red shirt and Popeye thinks it's olive oil. Maybe it's like Winnie the Pooh and all the Popeye characters are evil. Ah, that's likely. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah, that's likely. So you have an evil olive oil and an evil pipe pie and an evil Bluto and they're just reeking out. And then you got that hammered up, the guy that'll pay you Tuesday. for a hamburger today? Oh, Wimpy. Yeah.

Oh, I can't wait for him. I forgot the name. What's the name? Wimpy. This is getting worse and worse, guys. What are you talking about? It's getting better. Well, like, what's in the hamburger, right?

What's in the hamburgers? Where's the beef? That's the nice one. He just kills you with poison. Hamburger is made from the victims. Yeah. That's what I'm thinking, yeah. Oh, yes.

And in regards to Devin, Shannon Carrier says streaming only on Screenbox? Yes. Okay, the Screenbox it is. I think you can rent it on VOD, but for the cost of Screenbox, you might as well just get $4.99 and watch a whole bunch of other shit for the month. True. Absolutely. Screenbox is a pretty good deal. Still only $4.99?

Yeah. It's cheap. It's cheap. It's one of the few I'm not trying to cancel. Yeah, me too. They're not raising the price on me too. Not too worried about that one. Yeah, we've let two go now.

And I'm like, but I'm still watching all the shit. I know. So I'm like, how many more of these can we let go? In regards to Terrifier 2. Anthony Allen Jr. says, my favorite final girl. She's pretty awesome. Yeah. And in regards to heretic, Johnny Ray says some people actually walked out during the showing I was at.

I'm pretty sure the religious convo turned them off of it. That makes me love this film that much more, not because it offended someone, but because it challenged them. Stay till the end, folks. Hmm. Okay. Yeah. All right. You could see some uppity people in the theater like, I can't believe they stay.

Well, see, and that's what I would consider myself probably a religious person. Right, right. In a gray area, maybe. But I enjoyed it. I like the conversation. I like being challenged. I like having that stuff out there. But the same people that got up and left, those same people that got up and left,

gladly sat and watched two and a half hours of Jim Cavizio getting the shit kicked out of him. Oh, God. That was a rough movie. That was a fucking tough watch, boy. Yeah. And they're doing a sequel to that one. Are they? How's that work?

Part two. The resurrection. The resurrection. You nailed it. The boulders right there. Boom. He fucking kicks it open and just starts wrecking shit. Bam, bam, bam, bam.

Like 300 style. Fucking tossing shit in slow motion. CGI blood. Yes. That'd be badass, man. Be like, yeah, that's right. Don't fuck with the Jesus. I would go see that in the theater.

directed by Zach Snyder. Yes, of course. And then there's going to be the seven part director's cut, right? Oof, I tried to start that Rebel Moon director's cut.

Brian, you're right. It's like really, like, it's the same movie, but like, boy, like, there's a lot of violence in the very beginning

that wasn't there. Okay. And then there's like this very graphic sex scene right away. You're just like, it just continues. None of this was in the...

What's wrong with that? And then, like, they cut back to... I didn't say there was nothing wrong. They cut back to Yellow Jacket, you know, from the Marvel movies. He plays, like, their leader or whatever with the big beard. And he's like, tonight is for fucking. You're gonna fucking. You're gonna fuck.

We're gonna fuck. What movie is this? And there's, like, the cover of it has, like, a robot with boobs. Yeah. What? That's what I've always wanted. I was like, wow. Well, you can pay for those things now, Lance.

They exist. I was going to say, I figured the first, like, real AI robots instead of the Tesla robots would be like sex robots. Oh, that's happening. A lot of R&D, you know. There's a market for that, for sure. The first person to tap into that market in a big way. Woof. Yep.

All right, that's it for listener feedback. Our intro and logos come from none other than Steve right here. Yeah, all right. On that note, I wanted to let you guys know that the shocker shirt design is live on your store. That's officially up, available now. And I am working on a new one that is going to take me some time. But I did just send you all in the Facebook Messenger. The current status of that picture of where we're at right now with Mr. Jasper Jenkins hanging out with a very specific crew from a well-beloved movie.

Holy shit. Cool. Wow. That is amazing. Yeah, we have a lot of, we have a lot of Clive Barker fans that send us their feedback. So they're going to love this one. And original skull artwork, of course, comes from Natsulani. Check her out on Instagram.

And consider becoming a Patreon patron because we love you. We'll let you pick the movies for a future show at any amount. And for $5 or more a month, also pick a commentary for a future bonus show. Plus you get, you know, to come on the show with us. That'd be awesome, right? That's the best part, right? Yeah. Finally kicked Steve off for a week.

Ah, fuck that. Steve will show up, too. Fuck, we'll do all of us. Fuck it. I had one day last week where I didn't record. I only didn't record on Thursday. Wow, that's a long week, man. Hectic.

All right, on to featured attractions. We'll continue our Children of the Corn retrospective with Disciples of the Crow and Children of the Corn Runaway. Disciples of the Crow from 1983. A couple passing through a small Oklahoma town discover that it had been taken over by Holland. Homicidal cult that worships a crow god and that all the cult members are children Okay

Writer and director is John Woodward also known for good girl bad girl Okay, and the film takes place in October 1971 and 1983 I don't understand what that means I don't know time jump right? I guess the opening the opening scene Oh, okay, okay And then it did the time. jump because remember the kid with that weird smudge on his face yeah right oh that's right then you

had to older guy with some weird smudging that's right so did this come out before chilling of the crow yes uh well yeah children of the corn my bad yeah like less than less than a year before right guys didn't okay like it that had to been early 80s right like early to mid 80s so so i guess it's maybe a little more More like the short story, I guess we'll see. Lance, you're a guy for that. But Steve, you'll go first. What do you think about Disciples of the Crow?

So, yeah, yeah, so Lance, this came out a year before the original movie. Okay, okay, gotcha. But this is basically Children of the Corn, just shortened. They just remove some, like, some, like, story bits. But you got all the other stuff. Yeah. I mean, pretty much. In 20 minutes?

Yeah. I don't know what to say about it, really. I mean, it's Bert and Vicky coming across, was it? Somewhere in Oklahoma. It's like fucking Jonah, Oklahoma. They say Oklahoma so many times. That's half to 20 minutes, huh? It's not Nebraska.

But so. Right. But there's, I guess there's not, there's not really a lot of, like, killing, really. I guess there is no not in this one I keep I'm I'm mashing it up with runaway in my head right now so I'm trying to yeah separate them but uh that's a dangerous thing well it was only 20 minutes it's like hard to what I took away from this was like was like I like Bert and Vicky and the original one because these this couple is a bad couple they have paid each other so much they are so back and forth bickering fighting this lady's just on one

about getting the cigarette the whole 20 minutes. She just needs that cigarette. That's right. That's right. My favorite scene was the radio's playing and then she hears something and turns it off. He's like, what do they say? And she's like, I don't know. And he was like, what do you mean?

You don't know. Arguing for the sake of arguing. Yeah, the dialogue was black eye. The dialogue was all over the place. The editing was smash cut. But I mean, the guy that made this the guy that directed it wrote it directed it edited it he was actually in it he was the older version of the kid with the facial smudge so like you know this is this is grassroots filming making it's a little independent movie you know um it's i thought it was all right for what it was yeah it's a little short film brian what you think it was fine i mean it it's like steve said if you don't got time to watch the original children of the corn movie that's you don't got time to watch the original children of the corn movie that then watch this. You get all the beats in there.

You just don't get those two little annoying kids that muck up half the movie. Yeah, and that's the fun part. You don't get, in the original movie, you don't get the most toxic couple in this entire franchise. That's true. That's yet to be seen.

We're watching a remake next week. Oh, I forgot. Or next time, not next week. But it was fine. You got all the stories. story beats in there. It kind of seemed like they didn't have He Who Rocks Behind the Rose. They had

they prayed to the crow. Yeah. Yeah. So, Lance, is that in the original story? No. This is, this is like a microcosm of a short story even. So, I don't know if that makes it better or worse.

To me, this was like watching a trailer. I mean, this was like, you didn't get any graphic kills. You didn't get any hilarious characters like, Malachi, you didn't get any of that, you know, you definitely didn't get any remote control cars, you know, fucking couple was hilarious. They were pretty bad, pretty bad, man. He takes the car keys and then she cuts his hand and he looks at her like he's about to become the ultimate supervillain. Right, right. When he looked at her and walked away, I was like,

run, get out of there. When he comes back, he's going to kill you. He's going to look for a I thought he would, no, he had one. He kept one of the corn shanks. Oh, yeah. That's right. That's right. That's right. And he was being detective.

He was like, I didn't kill this kid. Yeah. This corn shank did. And it didn't come for me. What was what was the little bird? Like they would put the, the cup of water and then the bowl of corn out, the little, the little bird back in 1970. I think it was blood? Was it?

I couldn't figure that out. thought something was going to happen because, well, they went and killed their parents right after that, right? I think they were, I think they were fertilizing the corn with blood. Oh, God. The bob's back and forth? Okay. I think you know. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I'm probably not the most efficient way to do it, but, you know. It wasn't even touching the water. It's like, that's like a little, like one of those little ball things that like snaps back and forth. It's just one of those little doohicies. Yeah. After the first time it touched the water, it never touched the water again. that's just like that's probably just like her favorite toy it's 71 see I was thinking it was like she doesn't have a lot of water and then dripping a little bit and then sucking up the water and then drip or the

blood and then dripping a little bit. Or you just made the short film a little bit better that was happening. I thought though they had they missed an opportunity I thought they were going to kill all the kids all the parents in the church. I was like oh shit they're going to go down in the church and then it like cut away and I was like Aw, like, they're not going to even going to show it. And then their parents were all still alive. I'm like, what the fuck? I did enjoy the scene when all the kids went crazy at the end.

Yeah. Yeah, but they were bad. They didn't do a good job. Right. They had all the windows broken. She's dead to rights. Yeah. And like, look at her.

Her man comes through with fucking the Scotty Pippen, fucking oof. I know. Yeah. He hits the long three. Lands right on the car. And then one of those kids knocks it in just wildly flound. Ailing an accident. Tell me,

tell me, did you think she was going to leave him? I thought she should have. I thought she should have. I thought she was. I thought she was going to be fucked up. That would have been a better ending, Brian,

because in this one, in this one, they're like arm in arm, you know, and he's like kissing her. I'm like, get away from each other. You know,

but like, like the knife is still in the hood, it's still in the radiator leaking. Yes. So what would have been better is and then the check engine, she left him. and then the car died.

And then here he comes. Wouldn't that be great? With a big ass shake. And then he comes to kill her. Have we said enough? This is pretty weak. Like I said, it's like a very, very bad trailer to me. Like with no gore and no real action.

I kind of felt the same way. It was like the Cliff Notes version of Children in the Corn. It was, uh, I'm sorry. Very man. Mole, mole, moly. It's like, you're thinking when that fucking guy was like, you could have given anything. Give him a fucking scar right here. Do something.

You give him a big-ass brown moor. I'm like, that's your move? I'm like, like, they saw it like, and then the people that made that TV version of it saw that. And they were like, we got to do that. We got to use that. Yeah, hey, it fulfilled its purpose then, right? All right. score Steve what do you think?

I don't know, like on the children of the corn scale It wasn't like offensive Like it wasn't like bad for children of the corn shit Like as far as children of the corn scale, it's probably like a eight on that scale. I mean it's like a two Three right but but like I don't know how do we rate the children of the corn movies like I can't rate it like a real movie Any way you want man I'll give this one of four we'll give just a little little Little bit.

Four and ten. Think of how you guys had to do the band dam. All right. You know what? All right. All right. Okay. Then on that,

if it's doing that, then this gets like a seven. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. All right. Brian? I'm kind of in the middle,

like we all agreed on. This is like, like you said it perfectly fills, the cliff notes of the original movie. And the acting wasn't terrible. There was a lot of hilarious scenes in there, so I'm kind of, I think I'm right out of five. Okay.

Makes sense. Lance? I'll give it a three, you know? I mean, it wasn't terrible. I thought the little knife that looked like a look like an ear of corn with a, I kind of like the ending. I have to say, I do kind of like the ending, because you knew where it was going, right?

Because that check engine light was flashing, and you know, the steam was coming out of the radiator. And you kind of knew where we were going so I mean it's it's a setup right so I'll give I'll give it a I'll give it a three yeah um I don't know it feels like blasphemy to give us a six so I'm going to give it a five just because it's it's the OG you know I mean like sure this is the first children of the corn movie and it wasn't even called journal recording I guess so so I think he it was a little indie film on a super duper low budget that was only 20 minutes long and uh he filled the 20 minutes with stuff man

it was you know what i mean it wasn't boring and the movie that came out of year afterwards lifted some like shots straight off of this one the shot where the car pulled in and parked in that part in that dead city in the parking lot like the angle of the camera the way the car everything was like the exact same shot yeah that's true because if you saw the original Carson and then seen this, you would have clearly thought this came out after. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

In fact, I wonder if they call it Disciples of the Crow because they couldn't get the rights to call it Children of the Corn. You think? Maybe it was kind of like an homage. I don't know, but like Stephen King's known for his doing that dollar baby deal, especially back in the 80s and 90s, giving young filmmakers, as long as they pay him a dollar, they can use his stories. That's cool. So he must not have been too impressed then. Take my name off of this shit. I'm over here making maximum overdrive on cocaine.

Well, but then they rocked it a year later. I think it was all right. It's also on YouTube in case you're looking for it. And yeah, it's only 20 minutes long. Worth to watch. All right. On to the next one. Children of the Corps runaway from 2018.

Don't you ever want to stop? Me, people? No. I don't know. I just felt like we were being followed. I think we're on the deck of the Titanic. Runaway follows a young pregnant Ruth who escapes a murderous cult

in a small Midwestern town. She spends the next decade... Or does she? Yeah. She spends the next decade living anonymously in an attempt to spare her son the horrors that she experienced as a child. child she lands in the she lands in the small oklahoma town uh but something is following her now

she must confront this evil or lose her child i see why you paired this one up it's the oklahoma connection yeah that's it that's it good call bry brine's great at that man he's got layers with brine's like he's like an onion yes uh director is john John Gullager. I don't know. John Gullager, Gullager, something like that. Guliger.

Guliger. There you go. That makes more sense. Also known for Feast and Piranha 3D. What? Yeah. Huh.

Writer is... I'm actually decent, fun movies. I know. Weird. Writer is Joel Swasson, also known for Children of the Corn Revelation.

Of course. Oh. This film was only pushed into production because Dimension Films was about to lose the rights to Children of the Corn series. It did seem like it was maybe a different film and they just sort of stuck the Children of the Corn label on it. Like, you know what you've got to do? You add a little kid killing somebody right here. And fucking children with the cornfield. All right, Steve, what do you think about a runaway? So I'm watching this. I've seen this before and I'm watching this this time and I'm watching this time. I'm like, you know, they're trying something new.

You know, they're taking a different angle. Now it's one of these kids that escaped and what is their life after like? And I'm like, okay, I can actually respect some new things. And the kills are very few and far between, but the ones that they have are actually okay. Yeah. On the children of the corn scale. Although kind of stupid Rube Goldberg set up, right? Like the guy that got piano wired.

That was awesome. And the mechanic guy really gets it. Oh, that poor guy. Yeah, but like it's bogged. I think the movie gets bogged down with a lot of... You got it after you didn't get it. I know. Well, the movie gets bogged down with a lot of weird, like, actual...

I'm like, are you trying to be a real movie? Right. You don't know if I had, like, actual drama and real acting? Like, it felt like the movie was not sure what it wanted to be. I did think that the kids were creepy. And I actually thought that the ending was all right. And did you see the after credit scene? There is one.

Yes. Oh, no, I didn't know that there was one. And it was fucking... Yeah, it was like creepy. I was like, oh, shit. Like, maybe they put this out because it was like going straight to video. The movie was boring in the middle. There was a big chunk of the middle.

It went full life. time, Steve. Yeah, yeah. The highs of this movie for me are really high, but the whole middle section of the movie is just so fucking boring. But then, like, stuff starts to happen again. Once the waitress gets involved, I'm like, oh, shit. Right.

But that just leads me to, like, this whole thing. Like, how big is this fucking children of the corn and coal? I want that answered now. Like, so I'm mixed right now on it. But the lows were low, but the highs were high. True. Brian, what do you think? I didn't hate it.

I don't think it's the worst out of this franchise we've seen. I think the acting was pretty solid. I do agree with you, Steve. The movie doesn't know what it is. Maybe that's the fact that they, like you said, Phil, they kind of shoehorned children of the corn shit into this movie and threw it out there as the next one in the franchise. I thought the kills when they happened were cool.

I thought certain things they were doing. like the blood spray that was not moving kind of just sprayed out there in freeze frame and the whole reversing stuff I thought that all looked cool I don't know why they did it but I don't know why they did it even cool it didn't make it sense but it was it was entertaining yeah maybe she's replaying it in her mind and that's I think She was slowly remembering her traumatized past that she blocked out. That's how I'm going to take it. That makes sense, Brian, makes sense.

And it was just as slowly as she was remembering it, she thought it was happening to somebody else. But then it got revealed, no, this is what happened in her past. And I got to say I didn't see the thing coming with the waitress. Yeah. Me neither. Yeah. I thought she was just another victim.

And that makes me think that your idea of it being like shoehorning in children of the corn stuff. Like this movie maybe was just like about her escaping a cult. You know? Yeah. And then they're just like like film some scenes with some kids and throw them in there. Yeah. Because this whole movie works as her just escaping a cult. Yeah.

And there was some cool stuff with the kids too, like the playground scene when she looks behind her and all the kids are bouncing. and the basketballs and sequence. Oh, in sequence. That was a good shot. See, there's some shit. Yeah, there's good stuff in here. It's just like, I agree, Steve, the whole middle stuff when the stuff

when she's trying to get a job and trying to get her kid in school, I'm just like, I don't care. I'm a good mechanic and I'm gonna do this. The best mechanic you've ever had here. Like, you don't, you just met him, you don't know that. He might have had like the greatest mechanic of all time. I know that guy was helping her out and stuff, but he was sort of a jerked, a whole movie.

Yeah, she tells him no, and he's like, I've been nothing but nice to you. I'm like, you're fired. I know. Like, you owe me a bitch. There's a week's pay. Be out of here. Damn. But there was some, there was some good stuff in there.

I think the good stuff. The most awkward sex scene ever. Ow, my leg, out, out. That's where I was like, is this trying to be like a real movie? Because this feels like too real. I did that. So look, so the boy saw them like in the act or whatever, and then she freaked out.

I was thinking, is this like some kind of an otifice complex thing where like he wants to, the boy wants to fuck her? That sort of get really awkward for me. Like I would have just said, look, I'm the fucking grown up. Get your fucking ass back up to the room. As the man in that situation, that's what you would have said? You would have got you talked out to.

If I was the mom, I would have said, get the hell upstairs. No, I think that her mom probably has had a few relationships with other men as they're kind of drifting around. And it's basically, oh, my mom's doing it again. She's... Here we go again. Well, maybe the living room is a bad fucking idea if you have kids. That's true, too. That's true. In full view of the stairs. Yeah. Like, damn, y'all, there's not a door to be found, huh? Yeah.

I think he handled it well. The kid came down. He was like, oh, there's nothing going on here. Everything's fine. Go back upstairs. We're just to wrestling. Helping me with my bad leg. As he's buckling his belt.

Yeah. The kid's like, he's like 13. I think he's not right. I know. That's true. It's not a four-year-old, right? Yeah. He's like, what the fuck?

Were you just trying to bang them home? He's not done. So did this guy for his leg, did he go to the same surgeon that Matthew McConaughey did in the one Texas chainsaw Massacre movie? Do you have like a remote control for it or anything like that? He looked like a combination. He looked like like ludicrous and Kid Cuddy had a baby. Wow. Right?

But now that you say it, I was like, I can't pin my finger on who that looks like. Well, he looked like two different. Right. But that little girl in the yellow dress just banged this shit out of his leg with that ranch, huh? Like, why did he lower get that close to him? I'm thinking, well, I guess he thought she couldn't hurt him. Oh, I'm sorry. Are we just talking now, or did you guys all?

I guess. I just take outside the box here. Okay, I was just like, I thought that the kill scene with him was great with the girl in the yellow dress. Like, the chase around, like the slow chase because he's crawling. You know, he can't, he gets into the van and locks it. I love it. He's like, locks the door. Bam, she shatters the window.

I'm like, of course, dummy. So good. She's like Abigail. She likes to play with her food, right? Yeah, when she was like, when he looked behind her and she was skipping in the background, like. Yeah. Dude, that's creepy shit, man. That little girl is going to kill you.

She has a very big range. So at the end, is that kid the new Malachi? I guess. Yeah, yeah. He's like the new Messiah kind of. But the little girl was the lady the whole time, right? Or no? See, that's part of my problem.

Was she or wasn't she? And was she even there? It was hard to tell what was real in this movie. Well, the people of the sucked about it. So are you saying, like, did us as the viewer saw the little girl, but it was supposed to be the mom? Right. like a memory? Sure.

Was she really there? I think so. Yeah. Because at the end, didn't that kind of what sort of happens? Like she's, she sees the little girl by the bed, covered in blood,

and then they clip over and she's actually covered in blood. Yeah, she's covered in blood. And then at the very, very end, the after credits, which, you know, I don't know if we all saw them,

but like, she's out there skipping through the cornfields, and then the entity, he who rocks behind the rose, comes behind her and just like, envelopes her. It's, it's his black,

smoke that comes up and then this it's pretty cool looking comes around and it's like it looks like like almost like an elephant arm like the way it comes it was like all scaly and weird I was like the little girl or the lady? No like the little girl. She's in the little yellow dress with her with her hair and she turns around looks at the camera and the smoke comes

from behind her and this black weird arm comes around just like wraps around like a it's a great effect. I was like it was a really good it's the best part of the movie really so she was better than that Shit, we got in Urban Harvest when they showed Hugh Rocks behind the rows as a weird group monster. That's right.

Maybe not as much fun, but, you know. So she was, like, possessed the whole time by this thing, I think. Seems that way. Maybe that's my problem. Maybe the behind, maybe the after credits was like a flashback. But the only reason I don't think it was,

the only reason I don't think it was actually the mom killing those people was because, especially with the man that got piano wired, he called her like a little you know he was talking about her as a child he was like oh yeah that's a good horse you know and all this stuff and like and when she he went after

when she went after the handicapped guy like he would have been saying a whole bunch of different shit if it was the mom you know what I mean yeah also true he probably still would have been talking about not fucking yeah he's like I'm sorry I'm sorry I didn't mean it you can have your job back anything like you know

did you come back here where we have a nice private area to do this? Because that makes way more sense. A little more sense. Like when the sun knifed her, like, right? That was kind of brutal. That was pretty brutal.

There were some good kills in here. I got to admit, man. There were some really good kills. But man, you talk about rocky storytelling. Like, I couldn't tell what the fuck was going on. Yeah. And maybe that was the point. Yeah, but maybe that was the point, right?

Maybe you're not supposed to know what's real and what's in their mind. And I don't know. She's kind of all like it. But you've got to tie that shit up at the end of the movie. You would think so, right? And I just, I thought it was a little bit silly making the, you know, the waitress from the diner being what she ended up being there at the end of the part she played. And I don't know, man, too choppy, too all over the place for me. Yeah, because.

But some fun kills. So they're playing fast and loose with the rules now. Now children are the corner like, we'll let people that are adults help us, like, if we're cool of them. like that waitress was way too old she should have been well but I think I felt like the waitress was like I thought she was one of the kids

she was but like in the original movie they killed those kids when they were 18 so she's one of those kids but she grew up and she's still helping them but I'm like yeah but you're not you're you're breaking your own rules I thought yeah it was just like

he who rocks behind the rows that's what I thought it was it's like just oh you think like She's like the entity taking a human form. She was taking this form. But she was. I don't know about that.

That's a stretch, Philip. I've never seen it. Well, I mean, we've seen it. I mean, she was kind of running shit. He's a smoke monster. I guess that's true. He's a big tree monster. I don't know.

He could be. He's that weird lump in the ground. Right. He's a Bugs Bunny. That's true. It should have taken that right turn at Albuquerque. All in all, though. Like, it's not bad.

All right. Not bad. One of the better of the children of the corn movies, I thought it was, but yeah, it was, it was, it was a little all over the place. But. A little. They tried, they tried something different. And the acting was pretty legit. The story didn't make a ton of sense, but.

And it was real slow in a middle, like Steve. said but yeah that's kind of what it was all right scores steve what do you think six and a half six five on this one right i'm gonna go slight bit higher 6.75 jesus interesting score damn price is writing it all right all right i see you i'm raise you i'll put it right i bet a dollar Lance, what do you think? I've got to give it a two. Ouch.

A two. I mean, look, dude, that piano wire kill was so much fun. This is better. This movie's better than night swim, bro. This is ridiculous. This is ridiculous. Sadly, you're probably right. And that just goes to show you how much I fucked up on my score of night swim.

That's going to be the running theme of 2024 with me was my night swims. But I got to get back to my honest. here in my roots and what did I really think about the story and how did I really like the way they wrapped it up or tried to wrap it up and maybe I just missed something maybe I need to rewatch it but I won't but I get to

give it too sorry so this movie is just as good as Cuckoo sure but no Dan Stevens with a piccolo numbers over here are just wild we try

we try. Our numbers don't mean anything over here. No. It's the same as our... Like you said, we don't get paid, so... I think six is a pretty good score for this one. It's a... I think it's one of the more solid children of the corn movies.

It's not super-duper cheesy. It tries to take itself seriously. No, I don't think it was super cheesy. I think they were trying to take themselves seriously, and it wasn't just like really, you know, hey dude in the alley come over here and act in this movie for a minute right right like they actually

had a little bit of chops the writing was all over the fucking place but yeah I didn't hate it it was a little slow I was I was sort of excited about it when I first started watching it and then I got sort of bored and then they sort of brought it back at the end

so save your excitement for next week I believe the remake and the reboot okay the remake and the reboot all right why not and then we're done it's better than

then we're done but like we're done until they make another one okay no David Carradine you don't know Eva Mendez

at least it was kids in this movie we got we did there was somebody I recognized Eva Mendez made that one a top children

of the corn movie no pun intended I don't know if you guys know if you guys know Clue Gallagher the old man that was looking at the waitress's tits

the whole movie sounds familiar yeah he was in return of the living dead that's right that's right okay uh i think he was also on creep show oh yeah you got some some cred and there's some street cred street cred all right all right if you're ranking these you know this this this is up up near the top man of the children i'm sorry dude it's my least favorite so far you don't remember you just don't remember you have You have selected memory. I just don't remember. It's not possible.

I don't believe it. All right. Well, let's see how the other two turn out. All right, look, before we head out, Steve, if anybody wants to relive the glory of that Tyson fight, do you guys have available streaming anywhere? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's up on YouTube. You can check it out.

Because Sean is pulling up clips of it and making fun of us. Gotcha. All right. Well, we want to thank you guys for listening to another episode of The Horror Returns. We would absolutely love to hear your feedback and ideas. You can reach us at The Horror Returns at gmail.com or just go to our website, thehorrorvreturns.com. We make it nice and simple.

All of our social, you can follow all the stuff post, Brian posts for our socials from there. And next week, Darren Wilson from Psychosomatic Podcasts is going to join us. And thank God, not Black Christmas. but rather Black Friday, which was the one with Bruce Campbell about two or three years ago, Brian, is that correct? Oh.

Does that also have Devin's trying to figure out what the fuck that was? Devon Sawah. I believe, yeah, Devin Saw was a... That's a good one. Sounds like Steve's going to be back next week too, folks, so we're going to have another. So Steve, as always, thanks for joining us, brother. And until the whore returns again,

Until the horror returns again, Steve. Good night.