The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #483: Is It Really THAT Bad? - Rawhead Rex (1986) & Cursed (2005)

Episode Date: August 28, 2025

Once again we dive in the muck to see if it's really THAT bad, or are the critics out of their minds? Cool of the week includes Alien: Earth and Eenie Meenie. Trailers are Bone Lake and Return to Silent Hill. The podcast spotlight shines on Rabbit Troop Sucks. And we get feedback from Dave Duncan, Clair Werk, Martin Pyle, Jhon Candido, Gary "the Goyne" Murphy, Chris Edwards, Rodrigo Perez Addams, and Nureldin Maslu. Thanks for listening! The Horror Returns Website: https://thehorrorreturns.com THR Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thehorrorreturns/ Join THR Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1056143707851246 THR X: https://twitter.com/horror_returns?s=21&t=XKcrrOBZ7mzjwJY0ZJWrGA THR Instagram: https://instagram.com/thehorrorreturns?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= THR Threads: https://www.threads.net/@thehorrorreturns?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ== THR YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/@thehorrorreturnspodcast3277 THR Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thehorrorreturns THR TeePublic: https://www.teepublic.com/user/the-horror-returns SK8ER Nez Podcast Network: https://www.podbean.com/pu/pbblog-p3n57-c4166 E Society Spotify For Podcasters: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/esoc Music By: Steve Carleton Of The Geekz

Regings victims, for those of you who delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify gore, welcome. You have found the place where the horror returns. Listeners beware. This podcast contains major plot spoilers. and the foulest of language. Join us in celebrating the old and the new, the best, and the worst in horror. Welcome back!

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, everybody is welcome here at the Horror Returns. I am Lance. Halloween is right around the corner, and I'm getting really pumped. What's up? I co-hosts Brian and Philips. Philip, what's going on, guys? What's up?

Not much. Everybody's welcome, except you, Dave. All right. Well, I'll start off Cool the Week after I'm... All right. On that note, we do have things to cover. Okay. I watched...

I've caught it. Well, I'm not caught up. I haven't watched the latest episode of Alien Earth yet. Oh, boy. But, man, am I loving the series? It is killer. And... Yeah?

kind of thought provoking considering so there's like three species of robot i guess at this point and you got like the cyborgs which are genetically enhanced humans right you've got the sense which are like AI robots and then you've got the hybrids which are like AI robots but with human consciousness and how far away from that are we and probably doing it now. Yeah, probably not 95 years away from. Well, I know that they've been working on it for sure. And let's say we get there.

Who doesn't choose to do that? You know? Here you are with an immortal body. Yeah, I know. But I think by the time it happens, it's going to be like the iPhone where everybody's like, well, right. Yeah, I want to be superhuman and live forever.

Sure. And there's going to be just a very small group. of like pioneer people who live off the land on their own and that's it. Those characters are so great though because they're the consciousness of children uploaded in these bodies and they're still behaving like children. And pulling it off. Great acting. I love it.

Great, great twist, right? The Indian dude and the black dude. I love those two together. But I haven't watched the new episode. so I don't know where they go from there. New episode is not as action-packed as the previous ones, but it does set up a lot of interesting scenarios going forward. Okay.

Well, you guys are way ahead of me. I've only seen the first episode, and it's like there's no doubt in my mind that's giving my absolute favorite TV series of the year. I'm calling it now, Brian. Yeah. This is a phenomenal. Well, yeah, it's like watching a movie, you know?

Yeah. I mean, they spare no expense. They've got great character development. And yeah, in eight hours, right? There's a lot more they can do than in a two-hour movie. And aliens with grills. Can't go wrong there. Right.

So what's, I'm only an episode in, but what's with all the different types of aliens? Like the little one with the huge eyeball that kind of slithers around? Oh, that was. that's going to be cool shit in the next episode yeah okay yeah

that all came from a whaling utani ship that they basically took ownership this this new corporation

this other corporation and they were doing testing collecting species out in space there's some other cool shit in there too

that you'll get into they're all pretty terrified Yeah. Yeah, I'm looking forward to this. I think we both got it as our cool of the week. Is there any, Dexter's still awesome. I'll tell you what, Peter Dinklage,

if you remember, famously, guys, I was worried how he was going to fit into the timeline. Yeah. He's kind of stolen the fucking show. He's like, he is like so sinister. And I don't know about you. you guys, I'm really looking forward to the new toxic Avenger. Yeah, he's good actor, man.

I'll give him credit. As much as I disagree with him on a lot of shit, he's a good actor. We all disagree with each other on shit, you know? But we're here to enjoy a cool fucking TV show, and Dexter is it. I think I told you, have y'all seen any of the episodes at all in the new season? No. I'm not even caught up with the original season. Yeah.

Yeah, you probably want to see the original show, but then I think those other ones, kind of you can take or leave. You know, like the flashback one when he was young, and then the one where he was like out in the woods, although there is a major character that he meets in that one. So, yeah, you may want to watch them all, but, yeah, this show,

still going on all cylinders. I can't think of anything else I've seen. Before we get into Brian. Is Decliffe's the littlest serial killer? I'm not going to even say this. I'm not even going to say he's a serial killer, Philip. How about that? Okay.

He's even worse. Uh-oh. Than a serial killer. Even more sinister. A serial rapists. I can't even take that seriously. No, getting cold. Getting colder.

Getting colder. No, you got to watch it. You won't figure it out until you see it. Believe me. It's pretty cool. It's pretty cool. I'm trying to think of anything else I've watched. I don't know.

You may want to go ahead, Brian. That's probably all me and Philip are going to be able to come up with. I have a list of things. I figure you might. I'll try to go through them really quick. Checked out the first episode of Peacemaker Season 2. Oh, wow. Didn't know it was out yet

Yeah, only one episode They're doing the week-to-week thing But great fucking episode And the way they kind of retcon The Snyderverse Was hilarious Oh okay So

Okay And this is James Gunn still, right? Yeah, so Peacemaker is fully in the new universe And it does the multi-dimensional thing which is going to lead to a lot of hilarious, awesome things. And then I heard there's going to be some surprises because people that got to review the show,

he only let them review the first five episodes. He didn't give them the last three because he said there were too much happens in the last three episodes. Huh. Oh, man. Yeah, there's at least one character from the Superman movie I'd like to see more of. We'll see if he shows up.

Superman was kind of could take him or leave him, but some of those wacky characters around Superman, I'd like to see him pop up again. I think they fit right into Peacemaker, you know? Yeah. That's true.

I got to check out some screeners. Lance, you sent me two of them. The first one to sell her? Yes. I was completely bored. out of my mind. Uh-oh. Well, darn it.

I was thinking about watching that one tonight. Well, you can put it on in the background and do other things and check in from time to time to see. Ah, well. Basically, this lady wakes up. She's been kidnapped and she's trying to figure out where she's at and what's going on. And it keeps flashing to, like, people in, like, a group, group meetings. Okay. And it just keeps flashing back and forth.

And there's no payoff. The movie's very slow-paced. It just nothing grabs you. Sounds like that... Sounds like that movie was in the cellar. Yeah. Slow kind of works if you're like unraveling a mystery and there's a big payoff at the end.

Yeah. The movie was kind... I knew the movie was coming close to being... over so I made sure I paid extra close attention and there was just no payoff and I was just kind of like the fuck was I watching for an hour

and a half. Kind of like I am Zozo a little bit huh? Pretty yeah great comparison pretty much like that the next one I checked out was ZombieConn volume 1

okay basically a zombie apocalypse happens after these cosplayers get done going to a convention and they got to fight zombies and

now that has promise it was decent the makeup effects was okay the acting was okay for the most part there was one lady her character's name

was Punky and I think that's her real name in real life Punky Johnson okay was the standout character for me and the lead guy

he did get on my nerves but I guess he was supposed to and I won't go into spoilers on why because it's a reason why people become zombies are infected

oh okay I want to see this one so it definitely had a comedy element right yeah definitely it's a comedy horror okay yeah punky

punky has been on SNL for a couple of years so I know exactly who you're talking about yeah Let's see. I got sent a couple screeners. The first one, no seams.

Hmm. It's billed as Get Out meets Candyman. And this is the problem with the movie. There are scenes directly copying Get Out and Candy Man. Oh. Like you can do, you can do like shot side by side comparisons of certain scenes. And there's like a. couple of other movies you'll you'll watch the movie and you'll be like well okay they're just

doing this other movie and then another scene happened they're just doing this other movie so i can't recommend and the acting was cw levels of acting so maybe it was homage you know like a love letter well they really love the hell out of those movies uh he did he's on Next one Next screener I checked out was Pig Hill Uh huh

In this town There's a legend about this area There's this legend about this area They're called Pig Hill About these pig people That abduct women Okay Pretty solid for the most part

I'm about to say that sounds pretty good I was disappointed with the The reveal a little bit I wanted it to be something else But for the most part It was pretty solid movie okay so maybe the

leader of the pack then huh is Pig Hill so far I got three more movies Lance to talk about oh boy

cannibal muckbang have you guys have you guys have you vaguely there's that you can skip this one okay

when you hear this a cannibal horror movie horror comedy you're you want to you want to see some cannibalism. Okay. It was too much of the comedy for me and this one. Huh.

It's basically this guy meets this girl. She's one of those like food influencers that make muckbang videos. Sure. Comes to find out she's a cannibal and he falls in love with her and somewhere along the line, he becomes a cannibal. And then it's just all about the fucking relationship shit. And I just like, I just want to see. see some cannibalism.

Like that other one. I know. Yes. Fuck that guy's name. I know exactly. I'm sorry. The dude that played Trump in the and what else?

Winter soldier. Winter soldier. Sebastian Stan. No? I was talking about the the dude from Dune. Fuck's his name. Oh. Oh, he's talking about bones and all.

Yeah. Bones and all. Okay. Yeah, probably closer to that than the one I was thinking of. But you know the one I was thinking of, where he locked the girl away and cut off parts of her butt? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That was a good one, actually. Those were more entertaining than this one. Okay. I only watched this because I've seen it pop up on a couple, like, underrated 2025 horror movies, and I don't see how it's underrated. Maybe just not your cup of tea. The main girl was good though

The main actress That played the cannibal Muckbang Influencer girl She did a good job But Just not for me Okay fair enough

And two real quick ones I'll check that this movie called Hollow Road With I can't remember her name She was in Gone Girl The one that played The one that went missing

Yeah the gone girl Oh man, we sound like we don't know shit about horror right now, do we? You know, the gone girl. Yeah, you know her. I couldn't tell you her name. I could see her face, though. Yeah. Whatever you're seeing.

It's the gone girl. Her and her husband get a phone call from their daughter in the middle of the night, who I guess earlier in the night had like ran away, and they get a call that she's been in the accident. She's hit somebody. They're in the road unconscious, probably dying. And it's one of those movies where they're driving to get to her and most of the movie takes place in the car while they're talking to her daughter on the phone.

And it was pretty good. And it kind of went places. I didn't think it was going to go because it's labeled as a psychological thriller, but there's some horror aspects to it. Okay. it was a pretty decent movie. And of course, you had the father who was one way with his daughter trying to handle the situation. You got the mom that's completely on the other side trying to handle the situation differently.

And then the girl, the girl, you never get to see the girl. But for her performance on the phone, she did a good job because she clearly had some issues going on before the whole accident. Well, we already know what she did this summer. That mom-of-ed-ed-ed-ed-sounds like my home life a little bit. Yeah, I have to give my cool the week to a new Samara weaving movie on who. Oh, yes. Called Einy Meany. Oh, how have I not heard of this?

Simple premise. She used to be in the life of crime, trying to do good, going to school. still occasionally sees her ex-boyfriend, ex-boyfriend does something to get himself in trouble. And she has to bail him out by it, because her specialty is driving cars. And they're going to do a heist. And she gets tied up in it.

And simple premise, but I thought it was pretty cool. And one of the standout characters is Marshaun Lynch. I don't know what is going on. on every time I see this guy in a movie. He's been entertaining. Okay. He's kind of awesome. He plays like her.

Okay. He kind of plays like her rival because he also is like I guess like a getaway driver kind of guy. Okay. Huh. So. And it's on Hulu? Yeah. Andy Garcia is in it.

Oh, wow. A few other people you'll recognize are in it. So. So. Sean Lynch is more than just a like a side character. Yeah, I mean, he comes in like halfway through, but I don't know what he's been doing lately, but just when he pops up in movies, I'm like, this guy is really entertaining. Yeah, well, I mean, they gave him more than a throwaway cameo appearance.

Yeah. So that's my cool of the week. So is it really horror, do you think, or is it more of a... No, it's a... heist. Okay. Thriller. Einy, meen.

Yeah, that's like her nickname in the movie. Okay. I'll look for that one. I didn't even know there was a new one out with her in it. Yeah, it's Samar Weaving, you know, somebody on the show has got to watch her movies. Oh, for sure. Kind of like Dane DeHine.

Yeah. Oh, that's your job. Keep it up. And that's it. That's all right. Well, that's cool of the week. Condensed version for me and Philip and extended version for Brian. So, Brian, do we have any horror headlines? Not a lot. A lot of TV news, though.

Going off of what you were talking about with Dexter, the prequel series has been canceled by Paramount. Good. We don't need that. Which, well, according to you, you don't need it. but apparently there's a lot of fans going online. Backlash. Protesting. Yeah, I guess a lot of fans liked it and are confused

because I guess they had renewed it for the second season before they canceled it. Right, right. But the reason they're canceling it, they're going to put their whole focus on Dexter Resurrection because apparently it's a surprise hit. They didn't think it was going to be as successful as it was.

Wow. Okay. I can see this thing going several seasons. Pretty happy with it. I haven't been this happy with the TV show since, oh, I don't know, Alien Earth. A couple of good shows going on right now. Yeah. It seems like there's more good TV than good movies.

Then again, there's a lot of good movies this year, too. Yeah, it's been a good year. Yeah, really good year. let's see mGM plus has renewed the institute for season two okay which um i've seen like the first three or four episodes i'm still intrigued to keep going though right uh let's see nicholas cage is reportedly in talks to star in true detective season five that would be amazing that would be amazing

said it will be set in the gritty landscape of Jamaica Bay New York City and production is due to start in 2026 and he probably makes more sense as the bad guy now

I'd love to see him as a cop going like full cage I know a dirty cop like in a court of called New Orleans remember that one Yeah, but they kind of did the dirty cop thing with season two, and it didn't. Yeah, good point. Always says that's the worst season.

What's his name was the dirty cop, Colin Farrell? Colin Farrell, yeah, yeah. Well, maybe he'll be the Boy Scout then, you know. Nicholas Cage has a Boy Scout, you know, why not? As long as he's screaming, I'm happy. I'm just happy he's going to be on it. if this is true. And let's see.

Sophia Wilde and Chase Sue Wonders have joined the cast of Jeremy Solner's upcoming A24 Halloween thriller October. Hmm. Okay. He does know Jeremy Solner. He did green room and blue ruin. Oh, okay.

Good shit. Sophia Wilde was, she was the lead actress and talked to me. Oh, okay. Chase Sue Wonder was in Lance's favorite movie of the year. I know what you did last summer. Apparently, from what I understand, she is cast as one of the new vampire hunters

and the Buffy the vampire reboot. Why not? I'll give her a chance at something other than I know what you did last summer. Yeah, I still don't think, I think Lance is way off. That movie's not a one out of ten. I don't think anybody was that horrible. Sure had a lot of fun in the theater watching it, though, Brian.

Yeah, one out of ten. You were entertained. Put it on a T-shirt. That's right. Only in Florida. And today we got our first look at the Hand of Rocks the Cradle. Images were released of Michael Monroe and Mary Elizabeth Winstead. Who is it?

Michael Monroe Michael Monroe Elizabeth Winstead I'm watching it just for those two actresses I know they're gonna do a good job I just

it does it really need to be remade I mean does it really that much of a classic I guess I know I know what you did last summer certainly didn't need to be

um poltergeist they even fucked that up remember they had some great talent in that movie and they still fucked it up yeah they had a

fucking what's that guy's name Sam Rockwell Sam Rockwell in it Who's one of my favorite actors I know But the movie was no good

Yeah Oh well I still remember that scene It had Or that movie They had scenes of Like people staring At the power lines

And zooming in On the power lines And then You never go back To the power lines And I was just like The fuck is going on Red Herring I guess

Uh Hannah Rocks the Cradle we'll be streaming on Hulu October 22nd. Well, then it's free to me anyway, so okay. And that's the news. All right. On that note, we're going to take a little trip down to the trailer park.

Brian is going to bring us the big, the small, and sometimes the very, very weird. What's our first new trailer this week, Brian? we're going to talk about the psychological erotic thriller bone lake bone lake which i'm seeing on i'm seeing on i'm db it's also the categories listed as splatter horror so sounds like it's going to be pretty bloody oh nice all right well yeah i know that has two meetings doesn't it depends on what they mean by splatter what did you guys think of Bones, like, I made sure to send you guys the Red Band trailer.

Oh, yeah. Looked fun, right, Philip? I got a boner. I mean, let's face it. This, I mean, this idea has been done a million times, right? You know, a couple in the same place. I mean, a lot of comedy movies have this thing. There's a couple of rom-coms that I can think of that have this set up.

But I don't know, man, this looks like a lot of fun. It really does. It looks like I didn't necessarily recognize any of the actors, did you guys? No, but sometimes that's a good thing. That's what I was kind of thinking. I'm all in for this one. Two people running through the woods nude and looks like there's going to be some good old-fashioned wife swapping going on.

Nothing wrong with that. Yeah, let me see. The synopsis goes. A couple's vacation. Actually, by definition, there probably is. Yeah, a couple's vacation at a couple's vacation at a couple's vacation. secluded estate is upended when they're forced to share the mansion with a mysterious couple. A dream getaway spirals into a nightmare's maze of sex lies and manipulation, triggering a battle for survival.

Wow. And bones. Could be worse. You know, I mean, at least go out with a smile, I guess, huh? Yeah. Death by snoo-snoo. this is I believe releasing in theaters in, let's see, October 16th. Kind of a Halloween release then.

All right. In theaters, all right. I'm surprised to see that too, Philip. And our final trailer, which is just a little teaser of the soon to be released eventually return to Silent Hill.

Director Christoph Gons, I believe how you pronounce it, he's the director of the first Silent Hill. He's back to direct and return to Silent Hill. Okay. What did you guys think? Who was the guy that was in it? Let's see, Jeremy Irvin.

I don't know who he is. I don't know. I'm not sure who that is. He looked old familiar. Yeah, I couldn't tell if he looked familiar or not. I didn't get a clear look at his face. I thought when I first seen the teaser, I thought it was one of those.

those supernatural guys. I thought it was too for a second. Right. I liked the first one. I didn't really care for the second one. And I'm glad to see that the director of the first one's back. My only problem was

this one looks a little too slick, polished, shiny. A little too much CGI fire, maybe? That doesn't really bother me. It just kind of look. The side of the first first Silent Hill was kind of dark and murky and creepy and had good, like, atmosphere to it.

This one just kind of looks shiny. Yeah, but I like the, I like the fog everywhere. That seems pretty neat. I mean, there wasn't really much to the trailer, but. Yeah. True. More of a teaser. We'll see.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've never played the game, but this looks fun to me.

I mean, to me, Brian, it does look kind of creepy. I mean, I don't know. I guess we didn't get too much, did we, to go off of? I know what you mean, but it looks like it's, like, super polished, and they did a lot of work on making the trailer, you know, look like a, or as our friend Pedro would call it, Mac Hollywood type movie, but I'm in, I'm in, it looks fun. And that, yeah, that pyramid head looked pretty frightening, you know, when he came out.

One promising thing is it's going to be released in theaters by a set. Cineverse, which is, did the terror fire movies the next week's, uh, Toxic Avengers, the upcoming. Okay. What's that Christmas slashing movie that they're remaking that's coming out? Oh, Silent Night Deadly Night. Yeah. So Cineverse is putting all those out in theaters un-related, so that's, that's promising. That's a good sign.

Okay. return to Silent Hill we got a wild await expected January 23rd hmm January horror is the how it goes I know that's not always a good thing

but we've had a few good surprises too that's true you know so you never know that swimming pool swimming pool movie I can't ever remember as a general rule what does that movie call? Night swim.

Night swim. I try to tell people not to watch it, and I can't ever think of the movie. I keep on to say swim, fan. That's not a good sign. I think we watch that with it. That's a good movie about a swimming pool. I think we watched that one with it. Yeah.

All right, on to some listener feedback. This week, we shine the podcast spotlight on Rabbit Troop Sucks. Good name. I don't know what that means. Very original. Transmitting from Denver, Colorado, lifelong friends, Paul and Mike, and guests. Examine obscure, forgotten, and often overlooked films. Rabbit Troop sucks. Take it out.

I believe this week's episode is on Reanimator. Ooh, good one. All right. In regards to burnt offerings, Dave Duncan says, crazy shit. Love it. Claire Weir, Claire Work says, Der chauffeur is the heartte. I don't know what that means.

Brian, translated. Speak German. Are we, are we there yet? Where are we at? So about the chauffeur, Brian. The chauffeur is the heart. Oh, I didn't translate that one. I don't know what it means.

Okay. Whatever. I didn't see that one. I think it translated to the, the chauffeur is tough or rough for something like that. That makes sense. He's hard. Aren't they. That's fine how you pronounce that.

Where's a? I think that's Spanish, but okay. Rawhead, in regards to Rawhead Rex, Martin Pyle says, got it on DVD, brilliant film. To each their own. To each their own. It's a tapad? I don't know. In regards to Texas chainsaw, too,

uh, John Candido says top movie. All right. All right. It is probably my favorite of the series, I think. Oh, far and away, my favorite.

What do you think, Brian? You like the comedy elements and the chili cookoff and all that good stuff? Yeah, I like how it's completely not what the first movie is. Yeah. And I think it stands on its own that way. Yeah. Yep.

Dennis Hopper's amazing in his cocaine-fueled. Oh, yeah. Love the first movie, too, I got to say. But the second one is super fun. The guy had too many chainsaws. Yeah. In regards to Blade, Gary the Goin Murphy says, good film.

Thanks, Goyne. All right. Chris Edwards says, love those VHS tapes. This one was... All right. What's that about, right? I posted a picture of a bunch of evil dead

VHS tapes. Oh. You had to choose one. Ah, all right. I lost the context on that way. Do you like the first one or the second one better? Second. Same here, second.

I think I like the first one. Really? Yeah, but you... get Pete Bruce Campbell in the second one. That is true. And the hand. It goes overboard. I don't know. The first one's got some magic though. It's kind of like alien and aliens. Do you want more horror? You go to the first one. You want some action. You go with the second one. So if you want a little bit of more straightforward horror, then I guess you go with the original evil dead. Although the second one is basically just a remake of it, but with like better stuff. Yeah.

More money. Yeah, more money. And a Bruce Campbell that had a lot more confidence, right? By that role. Yeah, very true. Let's see, we got Rodrigo Perez-Adams says, La Méhor interpretation de Tom. Now, I double-check this one.

A better interpretation. I got that one. The best. This is for interview with the vampire, and the translation is the best performance by Tom. Oh, I agree. Well, maybe not the best of his career. I don't know.

It's pretty good good. What is the best of his career? I mean, God damn. You could actually, yeah, you could go way back, right? A few good men, classic, if you want to go really dramatic. Super dramatic, though. The Mission Impossible stuff is still great. I really like Top Gun and Maverick a lot, you know.

His last samurai. Risky business. Risky business. Days of Thunder, that one doesn't get. Days of Thunder, yeah. Classic. You got a movie a long time. John C. Riley's in that

way before he was in Ripiky Bobby. Oh, he was like the wheel guy or something, right? Yeah. Oh, man. Yeah, playing it straight. I got to watch that movie. Playing it straight. I hadn't seen that in years.

Yeah, Tom Cruise's got some. He's got some, like, A good resume. Yeah. What do you, some of the classics of all time have Tom Cruise in. What do you guys think about the Mission Impossible movies? I've never really gotten into them that much,

but they're fan favorites, you know? I have not seen the last two that came out. So the one with Superman and it was really good. Okay. That might be my favorite. Right. I've heard this last one. is really amazing.

Ghost Protocol with Jeremy Brenner was pretty good too. Like, they go all out on the action on those movies. It's one of the last, like, old school, real action movies that's not Fast and Furious level junk, you know? So,

I'm down for them. I'll keep watching them as long as I keep putting it away. When are we going to find out if all the Fast and the Furious guys died in that plane crash. I mean, that was like six years ago, wasn't it? Part one. Just hoping we'll forget. I'm just mad that I'm hearing because my favorite part of Fast 10 was Jasonamoa. Right. Yeah. I heard he's not even going to be the villain in the next one. He's too busy doing Chief of War, I guess. Well, maybe they recruit him to be a good guy against a bigger

villain. Well, that makes sense. That's what they do. What's that, Brian? Jason Statham killed Han and they made him part of the family. That's true. Yeah, it's I don't know. That's some crazy stuff.

That's kind of like the Fast and the Furious formula. By the way, I did start Chief of War, and I think I got three episodes in. I got to the point where he was kind of like in Alaska for a while and like hanging out with some of the you know some of the people that were from Europe and things like that and learning how to shoot a musket that was interesting but I don't know man I was having trouble sticking with it just because there's so many fucking

subtitles because they're doing everything in the actual language a little rough man so I dropped off after three episodes you guys keeping up with it yeah I am I like kid, I think he, they made it as authentic as possible. And that's the problem for me, you know? I mean, I love the language, right? Like when you're Hawaii, it's like every

it's like three consonants to every vowel, right? I thought you're about to give us a Hawaiian accent. I'm a Bukapukataka, takakakata I can't do it, man. Kaluapua.

I don't even know what that language really sounds like. Oh, watch the show, dude. You'll know. You'll know. Watch Chief War on Apple. You'll know. Yeah, I don't know. I'd love to see Jason Mamoa sit down in a room with Ludacris, like, his character.

Oh, God. Because, like, Jason Mamoia is so, like, flamboyant and weird, but, like, witty, too. So, like, with Ludacris coming at him, I think that'd be hilarious. He has a movie coming out. I don't know what it's called. but it's with Batista It's a buddy Act, no, Jason Mamaa.

Okay. It's a buddy action comedy and they're like brothers. Okay. That has potential. I don't hate that idea. We'll see how it goes. Yeah. All right.

And our Patreon Nareldin reached out and he wants us to do another commentary with us. All right. He says, you know I'd be down for another commentary even this new war of worlds that's Brian

if we're not trying to suffer for entertainment sake I'd be down to watch Maniac Cop a classic might be that might be a little more down to Earth I still haven't watched the War of the Worlds I think I have to at some point that's gonna be one of my one of my last things that I watch

for the year just so I can put it on a list I honestly don't think you should watch or wait to watch it. I know. You should watch it immediately. Watch it tonight.

I'm going to check it out. Well, what do you guys think? You guys want to give Norelda a second round on the commentary? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think everybody should get a second round. Let's do it. And Dave Barta should get to his first round.

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joining us. All right. On to featured attractions. We ask once again, is it really that bad? I always love this show. We'll start with Rawhead Rex.

2015? Is this from I don't think so. 1980s. That makes more sense. I was like, did I watch the wrong one? How many of these can there be? They may have a, they may have a porn parody. Raw head rex?

That is a good porn name. Raw dog Rex. An ancient creature called Rawhead is awakened from its slumber near an Irish village and goes on a rampage killing anyone in sight. Director is George Pavlou, also known for Little Devils the Birth. I don't know what that is. Sure. Writer is Clive Barker, also author of many books including books of blood,

Imagica. Imagica. That makes more sense. And the thief of always. and all kinds of junk. That's a good one. Books of Blood is about to be re-released in a three-book collection I just seen.

Yeah, grab that one. Yeah, I'll bet it'll have some new stories in it then, Brian. If it's going to be like a re-release, he'll probably add more stories because they're all compilations. Is he still writing? I remember he's supposed to stick or something.

I mean, he was at Frightmare last year, wasn't he? The year before? Yeah, but I think he had to do the Tim Perry thing, have like a separate rooms. Yeah, gotcha. What about that? Imajica. They're going to make a movie out of day? Imajica.

All right. Imajica. Apparently, Clive Barker hated the film. Uh-oh. Well, he wrote the screenplay. It is mostly faithful to the original story. He was very unhappy with some of the acting, especially with Rawhead Rex's ogre-like design.

As he intended the monster to look like a giant fallis. Oh, okay, well, that's way better. The dissatisfaction inspired him to take a more central role when making Hellraiser. Oh, okay. Well, that worked out, actually, right? I'm not mad at this movie then. Giant phallus

That's funny Ah, it's the penis monster Now you know where the name comes from Brian, what did you think of the giant Fallis for raw head wrecks I didn't hate this movie It's not a great movie But it's pretty simple

straightforward story Like somebody's fucking with shit at Burial grounds or ruins or whatever and they unleash evil. And it's slowly infecting people, making them their followers, like the one priest guy,

Declan, or whatever. Oh, God. Did he piss on him to baptize him? I think so. That guy was weird from the beginning. I was like,

uh, you may want to not let him around kids. Yeah. Oh, shit. Does he like this because he's following raw head wrecks? or was he like this before? I think it's because he's following him.

I think that's what it's supposed to imply. I don't know. But he was sure ready, right? When they moved that rock and Rex came out, he was ready for it. So he'd been preparing for that. So which came first, the chicken or the egg, right? Yeah, you got a lot of death scenes in here, which was cool.

I don't think the acting was bad. Some of the people did a pretty okay job to me. Okay. But the look of raw head brex was hilarious. Yeah. That's a great word. The mask or whatever prosthetics they used. Right.

Latex. His mouth and facial expressions never changed. Like they never moved or anything. And then the weird eyes. Well, and you can tell he sees out of the mouth because every time he like runs the order. heads all tilking. But there's some scenes I liked. The movie had the balls to kill a child in this movie.

Oh, yeah. Near the end, which weird parenting. They pull over because the daughter needs to go to the bathroom. Back in the bushes. They tell they go behind the bushes. And the mom's like,

she needs to, she's old enough, she needs to go by herself. I'm like, the girl is like five years old. Right. And you guys are in the country that you're not from. I'm American, Daddy. You must watch. They already know there's a killer on the loose, right? Yeah.

At that point. And then the commotion happens and then they go check the daughter and then leave the son and then he just gets straight ripped apart. I mean, they leave him. in the car they're half a mile away from him at that bush through a fence that a gate that you have to open the gate really hard to push it open yeah because it's rusted shut like dude there's nobody around just let her go on the side of the road right he didn't even try to save his son though because he heard he heard his son screaming and then he walked to the gate and then he was just

like no I know he better hop over the gate like while he stood there I'm like, oh, now you can't get through it. But I had fun with this one. I always heard this was my first time really watching this. I've seen clips of it and I heard it was like super bad. And I mean, if you compare it to like Hellraiser or Nightbreed, it doesn't really hold up to other Clive Barker movies or stuff that he's written. Definitely not on that level.

Well, but if you get. But, hey, Brian, if you'll recall, we had a guest on the show that gave Nightbreed a 1 on 10. Remember that? Yes. No. Okay. All right, so we've moved on. Continue.

Who was it? Who gave Nightbreed a 1st? Oh, I can't recall, man. It was another podcast that we had them on once. And I think she gave both films a 1 on 10. Oh, yeah. There was Nightbreed, and I can't remember. the other one. I apologize. I can't remember your name, but the podcast was the podcast that wouldn't die.

Yeah. That's it. That's it. That was the one. Yeah. Yeah. I was a little, I was a little salty over that. I love night break. Yeah. But overall, I had fun with it. I don't think is really that bad. It's just bad in comparison to what we know when we talk about Clive Barker. Fair enough, yeah Yeah, if this was like some Especially if he wrote it Like low budget first time movie Then it'd be a different story, I think

You think? And I don't think we needed a fucking dick monster running around That's true I kind of like how awful it was Right For some reason in Lance I'm picturing Bow isn't afraid Right

Yeah Where he went in the attic. Yeah. I've seen that maybe four times now, Philip. Yeah. All right. I've seen that movie one too many times. I've only seen it once.

Have he seen Eddington yet? No. No, it's on the list. It's out there now. I saw it in the theater, but I'm going to, it deserves a rewatch. There's a lot to, as usual with an Ariasster movie, there's a lot to unpack, you know? Another. another Pedro Pascal movie

yeah the guy does not take a break that guy's in no kidding he definitely was on to deal with the devil yeah and AJ's kind of kind of pissing me off because now all of a sudden every time he pops up she's like

oh I don't know Kevin Costor's getting a little old I think Pedro Pascal's my new hall pass he he he he and I'm like Pedro Pascal like 50 he's kind of up there in age too Yeah, but isn't Kevin Costor like 80 now? Yeah, that's true. It's like all the girls who are in love with Sean Connery,

and now he's like... Sean Corrie. I haven't even seen him in a decade. Is he dead? I think he's dead. Oh, well, there you go. He guys remember him on Saturday Live. He's like, I haven't seen him in a while.

Yeah, remember Saturday Night Live on the Jeopardy skits where he said, Trebek, you fucking cunt. Swords for 500 All right Lance what did you think about raw headwrecks Is that it for now Brian Yeah All right

Well we'll circle around a little bit Because there's probably more to talk about That we didn't even get into But yeah it's not like You know the greatest movie of all time You know But I don't know why they would say it's Is it really that bad?

I mean, all right, so I enjoyed the schlock factor, right? Good. Well, look, dude, the raw head. Okay, so here's what I liked about it. I truthfully think, and I maybe thinking, or I had a theory, which maybe you just blew away with the trivia, and that's bullshit. So maybe Clive Barker didn't know what he was doing here. But somebody, maybe it was the director, I think they kind of did a wink and a nudge.

You know what I'm saying? like with the creature design and with how over the top the characters were. And Jesus Christ, have you guys ever seen a more angry movie? Like the guy walks into the Catholic church and the priest comes up to and says,

fuck you, you fucking cock-sucking American. Fuck you and fuck your wife too. Go fuck off, you know, and I'm like, what the shit? And then he goes into the police station and he's yelling at the cops like, you fucking idiotic Irish, bastards. Fuck y'all.

You ought to do it the goddamn fucking American way. Fuck you. Shove it up your ass motherfuckers. And I'm like, holy shit. This is like the most verbally violent movie I've ever seen in my life. Everything's a little over the top. They even have that scene where he's like making out

with his wife in the middle of the street and the old lady walks by and they're like, I wonder what her fucking problem is. Excuse me. Maybe it's that you're like having sex at the intersection. They're the first, the first act, the first 30 minutes of this movie

had more gross kissing. They even had a scene where two people were fucking kissing like completely tongues down the throat and then behind all the TV, there's a couple kissing. It's like Jesus Christ, what is the message here?

With the kids sitting there? Yeah. I don't get it. It's a weird message. And let's talk about... And the guys like what did he tell his wife? He said, uh, did anyone ever tell you you have dirty eyes and she's like almost everyone

almost everyone I wouldn't want to hear that from my wife I don't think I'd say that to her but definitely wouldn't want to hear her say it all right we got to talk about the ending so what better to defeat an evil penis monster than a vagina that

shoots lightning you know out of a little female statue somebody explained to me I thought it looked like a weird demon with down syndrome at first. Maybe it was that. Maybe I was seeing something my mind thought. But I think it was supposed to be a penis,

and that makes more sense. What do you think, Brian? I have no idea what happened in the ending. Well, they said only a woman could dispel the mighty beings. Well, they didn't say it. She picked up the weapon, and it started working.

And then just came to the conclusion. Only the power. of the badge can stop the penis monster. Everything was really just seemed to come together super easy at the end. I know. Which is a message that makes sense. Only the power of the badge can stop the penis monster.

I like it. This might be a pretty deep movie. This is like an A-24 masterpiece, right? There it is. the symbolism of the monster that his face doesn't move at all. The mouth just moves this way. Everywhere it moves, and it has zero expression in the eyes except for, like, spinning wheels.

How weird. You know, that would be a badass Halloween costume, though, I've got to say. Kind of. This movie is, I think this movie is prime for a remake. Yeah? But Clyde Park would want it done the right way. going to look like. Is it going to be like more of a penis?

Yes, a straight dick. Thick and balls, huh? The balls go on the ground and move it down the road. Phil, watch ball ain't afraid. That's what it'll be. Right. But with like a little face on the side, like that, uh, that, you know, the meatball thing and that cartoon network deal.

Oh, yeah. You got to give them. his voice too. I think it'd be great. I think we figured it out. Oh, Philip. Come on, man. Talk about this movie a little. Yeah, man. Is it bad? Yes. But is it so bad that it's good?

I think so. It was definitely a straightforward story, which I appreciate. Like, you didn't, there wasn't a whole lot of nuance and twists and turns. or anything. It was, you know, monster summoned, you gotta kill it. And I kind of love the monster. I sort of laughed every time he came on the screen because it was ridiculous. But at least he was there, and I didn't hate it. Like,

it was kind of funny. And that's where I'm at with this movie. I enjoyed it for what it was. How about that? Okay, let me ask you guys a question. because this really bothered me too. So have you ever seen glass break before? Like a stained glass window break? I mean, you probably haven't seen the same. Unless you were a bad kid and you threw rocks at the Catholic church.

It's not like a stained glass window, but yeah. I think I was ever throwing rocks at a church. Okay. But when glass breaks, like, let's say there's, let's say there's a painting of someone that's holding a bowl in their hands, right? Does the glass tend to break around that, bowl where you could pick it up and move it over to another paint of glass to create a jigsaw puzzle for someone or does it shatter well it is separate pieces of glass and it's stained glass window

and it and it's okay i'm wrong glass so i mean no you're probably not wrong but i don't know threw me off a little i don't know there could be something there every like i said everything was very convenient yeah yeah that's true kind of scooby-do ask right where they yeah They solved the mystery. At least they found the vagina statue. There you go. Save the day. Always does.

Accepted Black Christmas. Yeah. Now they use their vagina powers for bad. Yes. In this one, they use their vagina powers for good. Okay. That's what we want. You can stop the evil penis demon, but leave the good little penises alone.

they're not all bad right all right scores Brian what do you think I'm gonna go five I'm right there in the middle not bad at all very fair score I think I'll go I'll go three

you know it wasn't great it wasn't great but it was it's kind of fun because I felt like I was watching one of those 1960s monster movies like where the monster is a gorilla suit with a TV with antennas on the head. That's kind of what that suit reminded me of. So I had some fun. I have to say I had some fun.

It was a great costume for like a person to have. Maybe not a great one to put on the screen. Yeah. But if I saw that walking around at Comic-Con, I'd be super impressed. Yeah. But no movement of the facial muscles, man, you know? Yeah. I just, I thought it was great at the end.

Like when he starts running at people and like, I know, it's all tilted back. I didn't even notice that. I was like, oh, he must see through the eyes. That makes sense.

Right. Through the mouth. Through the mouth. All right. I'm going to go, I think five is a, is a high but fair score for this movie. So a very generous five.

Right on. offense. Yeah, like, I did kind of have fun with it, mostly because the monster looks so ridiculous. I thought, I kind of thought it was great. Sure. So it's worth it for that in case you've never seen it, which I hadn't. Rawhead Rex. All right. Now we're going to move on to a West Craven movie. I had forgotten about this one. cursed from 2005 a werewolf loose in Los Angeles changes the lives of three young adults who after being mauled by the beast

learn they must kill it in order to avoid becoming werewolves themselves three young adults I guess so well they were in high school but you know it was a different time it was a different time boys and girls oh yeah that's true Joshua Jackson maybe

that grown man no Yeah. What was he, about 40 in this? I don't know. Or the 30-something-year-old G.D. Greer? Yeah, whatever her name is. The blonde one.

Or you've got a young Milo in here. Yeah. I love a guy. Director is West Craven, also known for Nightmare on Elm Street, and The Last House on the Left, and a slew of a. other stuff.

Writer is Kevin Williamson, also known for Scream, and I know what you did last summer. Also makes sense. In 2014, Judy Greer spoke of the film in an interview. Greer states, I don't know why that movie got so fucked up. I don't understand it. I thought the script

is fine. Honestly, God. I didn't get the big deal. I don't know who kept making them fuck with it. She says, she goes on to say, then we shot the movie for like seven years and I think they said we had four movies worth of footage it was so fun but so weird I don't get it I couldn't figure it out

that's quite a quote yeah and didn't know that Rick Baker did the werewolf effects for the original version of the film but once Bob Weinstein and Miramax ordered reshires all the starting to make more sense now isn't it Brian all the they wanted to fuck the werewolves right

with Baker they wanted to wear them with with Baker's effects were deleted and the KND oh come on had to take over but even most of their work didn't make it into the final film because of Miramax

and Bob Weinstein thought that their effects didn't look good so they added a lot of CGI into the film to cover up all the practical of course Great call. Suck. Like death scenes and almost all the werewolf scenes. There are some promotional stills that were shown in magazines like Fangoria at the time of production,

which shows some of the removed practical glory effects. Well, and there was, I noticed one of them laying on the table was like an actual practical thing. And I was like, well, why can they just use that? Whatever. Now you know. Yeah. All right. Now you're now. Brian, what do you think of cursed? This movie is garbage.

But now we're hearing the trivia, it makes sense why it's garbage. The story is horrible. You've got this young cast of, I'm going through it. Christina Reachie, Jesse Eisenberg, Joshua Jackson, Judy Greer, Milo. The, Janet, Janet, Janet, Elizabeth. I remember this. R&B singer Maya. Who's who?

Oh, yeah. Who, Brian? Maya. She was a big R&B singer at that time. Yeah, I knew she looked familiar. Michael Rosenbaum. Nick Offerman shows up as a police officer. Yeah.

A very young Nick Offerman. Scott Bayo, Craig Kilbourne, Lance Bass. Yeah. And then it says Derek Mears, who I believe was, yeah, he was Jason in the Friday to 3rd, the 2009 Friday of 13th. He was in the werewolf costume.

Okay. Where was he in the werewolf costume? Yeah, I was going to say, you mean under all the CGI? Maybe that scene Phil was talking about when he was a werewolf just laying on the table. Yeah.

Maybe that's the scene they didn't cut out. But the comedy didn't work for me. It felt disjointed and uneven. Yeah, forced. The big thing about a werewolf movie, you've got to have a good-looking werewolf, and the fucking CGI was trash. It was garbage.

Yeah, it was really bad. Like that one scene when the werewolf turned its head. It was like watching at a video game. Yeah, early 2000s, CGI. And for some reason, when Jesse Eisenberg starts to get his werewolf powers, he turns into Spider-Man, he's leaping over. Yeah. That was fun, man.

I like that. I like that. When do werewolves climb up walls and ceilings? I mean, they can when they're magical. When it's magical werewolves in L.A. You've heard of the werewolves of London. This was the werewolves of Hollywood. I guess.

Go on, Brian. And they did a horrible job of playing, because you knew Joshua Jackson was the werewolf the whole fucking time. They tried to do a misdirect. And then they came right back to it. I know. Yeah.

Very next thing. And apparently Judy Greer is a werewolf because she slept with Joshua Jackson and... Bodily. Bodily fluids, I guess. Yeah, I guess you can fuck a werewolf into somebody. They may have had. It may have gotten a little rough. They exchanged some blood.

Yeah. But I just think it was a total misuse of this cast. Right. They got rabies. Yeah. I don't know what else to say about this. You're not a fan. It just shows you what studio involvement can do when you got someone like West Craven.

You got West Craven. You got West Craven. You got Kevin Williamson who have cranked out hit movies. And then you got this young cast who at this time was up and coming and popular. Sure. And just studio just jumps in and just fucks it all up. Everything from the story and to the effects. I mean, you had Rick fucking Baker, a fucking special effects legend doing the effects.

And then you just say, we're not going to use none of it. Delete it all. We're going to CGI it in because that sounds better. And then, yeah, like the trivia, you have this other company, K&B, which also is a well-known, makeup effects company. Right.

And they do stuff and then you come in and say, you know what? We're going to put CGI over that. It's terrible. I don't understand.

Kind of like the stories you heard of that that newer version of the thing, the one that was kind of the prequel. Oh, yeah. They did the same thing with that, didn't they?

Yeah. They did all practical effects and just scrapped it all for CGG. Weird. Oh, man. All right. Well, never fucking again.

Don't do that. That's crazy. All right. Lance, what did you think? I'm laughing because I'm about to night swim, y'all, on this one. Oh, get the hell out of here. I had so much fucking fun watching this silly-ass movie, watching Jesse Eisenberg, tame the rude, crude.

socially unacceptable Milo and show his true colors, which we knew from the beginning because he was telegraphing it. And then when he made that announcement, it was like, ah, okay. That scene was hilarious. Yeah.

When he came to meet up with him at his house and he was like, I know what you would understand. It takes one to know one. Jesse Idle knew. It was like, what? Oh, my God.

All right. You have some great lines. lines. Yeah, that's true. He called Jesse Eisenberg a dodgeball crotch target. That's a great line. That's, that's, yeah, that's a, that's got to be from the original script, right? Before they messed everything up.

But, uh, all right. So let's see. Yeah, the movie started, you know, kind of like all these werewolf movies start, right? Like with the car wreck and, you know, I had more fun with this one. I'm going to tell you right now. I had more fun with this movie than the wolf. Wolfman. I thought Christina Ritchie was

really interesting as this character, and I don't want to say, how old was she in this? Because I'm going to choose my words carefully here. Was she of age? I think so. Yeah, she is. Yeah. This movie was 2005

and she is 45 now. Okay, close enough. So, the way she looked, I liked I liked her costume and makeup. I really did. I thought she could play. The first thing I thought of is she could play, she could pull off Morticia now, probably.

Oh yeah, that's true. You know, and I'm- Or if they decided to do like an older Wednesday. I mean, because obviously she played Wednesday. Yeah. They've got to get older Wednesday, right? On the Netflix. But she still looks like, I mean,

if they did like a middle-aged Wednesday. I agree. She still looks like Wednesday. day all grown up or a weird alien person. But pretty. I, uh, I, I, I kind of like the cast here. Look, this thing was so fucking politically incorrect with some of the words they used and the, the innuendos and things like that.

Well, the way that Lex Luthor was being such a super creep in the office, right? Like trying to get in all the girls' pants and he was just, you're red herring. I just remember. How the fuck did the dog? become a werewolf dog. I don't know, but that was kind of a fun scene. I enjoyed watching the dog

in all its CGI glory become a werewolf. Apparently, it was because he bit Jesse Eisenberg. Yes. I thought it worked the other way around that. I thought you had to be bit. How we become werewolves. Very fast and loose.

Yeah. Yeah, very fast and loose. This is not a movie you take seriously. Any, okay, anything Judy Greer is in? I mean, she's, She's good in everything. I mean, the new Halloween movies weren't good, but the first one was, I think.

The second one wasn't a great movie, but it had a lot of good kills in it. The third one was a travesty, right? But, yeah, Judy Greer's always good. And, yeah, she kind of tricked you, right? Because first she was just that catty, you know, competitor in the office that was being such a bitch to Christina Ricci's character. An amazing bitch. I think she probably is a bitch in real life. I'm just wild guess.

She actually kind of looked kind of sexy, huh? Yeah, a little bit. And I've never thought of her as sexy. Yeah, no, me neither. So I think this film did a pretty good job of, you know, making the people look young and attractive, right? So, because I never really considered Christina Ricci hot, but in this I did.

And the same thing with Judy Greer. So I don't know, man. I'm going to night swim this one. I really am, Brian. I'm with you. You're totally correct. Brian, no, no. Brian is right. I'm wrong. I'm totally off the fucking reservation. For whatever reason, I just had fun watching this movie. And I loved all the old universal monster set designs that they have at that place that they went to. What was it called again? When they showed you what a real wolf man looked like? Yeah, absolutely. And the cane. Oh, and it's funny that the cane replica burned one of their hands, right? Like, why would you put real silver in a fucking cane replica?

It was just set up as as decoration. That made no sense, right? Well, but it was in that guy's like personal. It was in that guy's personal collection and he appears as a millionaire. So I assume that he's a werewolf. I guess. He's a werewolf. Why would

he have silver anywhere near him? Well, that's a good point. Another great point. Look, this movie, this movie's a travesty. It's a piece of shit. It's absolute garbage. But I'm going to give it a nice swim score because I had so much fun. I can't help it. Sometimes you just got to have those guilty pleasures.

Once a year, I'm going to pick one of those movies that I know by rights. And if we're going to critique it, it's not very good at all. But I'm going to give it a higher score. So that's my consensus. Thank you. You're welcome. All right. I feel like Lance kind of talked me up a little bit on it.

I mean, it's still bad. It's definitely not my favorite West Craven movie. No, this isn't the pinnacle for him? Well, I mean, so it's like got all the elements. And it sounds like Miramax just fucked it up. Because it's got like Justice League level comedy timing on it. Justice League. Or they say a joke and just leave, like I did at the beginning of the episode.

or just leaves you hang in and you're like, all right, well, never mind. You hear two minutes of silence, huh? Bomb. And so there was a lot of that. Christina Ricci is like, she's hot in like her own weird way, I guess. She's got that giant fucking forehead that doesn't make any sense. I know.

I know. But whatever. I mean, she's cute in her own right. I'll take it. I kind of liked everybody that was in this, but some of the acting was a little cardboardy, particularly from Joshua Jackson until the end.

Oh, he was collecting a fucking paycheck. Going on name recognition, huh? He saw what they was doing with this movie, and he was just like, fuck it. Yeah, I guess he's done that many scenes to begin with. Now, when he turns at the end, then he gets a little more animated. But yeah, do like the first half of the movie, man, he is totally phoning it in. He's kind of a creep during most of the first half.

He's always lurking, showing up places. Yeah, now that you mention it. Yeah. Yeah, but he's a werewolf. He's allowed to be a creep. Oh, okay. that's that's the least of his problems um i

don't plan on watching it again but i don't hate it i also am like so sometimes jessie eisenberg bugs the hell out of me but i sort of love him and everything that he does same here he's a good actor he's just kind of an asshole yeah he plays like this weird Michael Sarah-esque asshole.

Except when he played Lex Luthor, that was awful. That was not good. That was a stupid idea. Oh, we had two Lex Luthrs in this movie. We had two Lex Luthrs in this movie. Oh, we did have two Lex Luthor's in this movie. That's a good point. That guy's weird too.

Maybe he was just playing weird in this movie. But I was like, man, like, just looking at his face, you can't trust him. Rosenbaum. Yeah. And then you got Nick Offerman. I was just watched one scene and just in a few years, man. I know.

Yeah. I know. He didn't know it at that point, right? And it didn't even click to me who it was until he started talking. Yeah. And I can't. Yeah. Not recognize that voice.

No, shit. Of his mouth and his voice. And I was like, oh, shit. So it was kind of fun to see all those young. characters and sort of go back in time a little bit. Man, this was definitely a time machine because it had that early 2000 CT-C-G-I. And they, Philip, that was the last years.

They were allowed to say a few of the words that Milo said, right? Yeah. Well, I got all the words in. But it was okay because he actually was gay. Yeah, but I don't think even now that would, I don't think that's how they justified that. yeah probably yeah but that was 20 years ago um and and and the the the bubblegum punk music playing in the background that early 2000s era rock stuff it was fun right fun in its own right

but it was definitely bad and i'm gonna just assume that miramax fuck this movie up fucking miramax yeah all right in school Brian, what do you think? Three. Three. That's fair. That's fair. I just can't get, the CGI just bothers me.

Yeah, as well as should. We have scenes and we have trivia and we have an actor that plays these kind of characters and Derek Mears in a suit. And I can't, I can count on my hands and still have fingers left when I can tell you there might have been a guy in actual suit that wasn't CGI. Maybe. Yeah, no, I can't even think of any. I don't think there was.

I think the only scenes I can think of is the one Phil brought it when the wolf was laying on the table knocked out and then the scene when Judy Greer comes out and gives the double middle fingers. Yeah. Those are the only two scenes I can think of where there was a guy in a suit. I wonder how good this could have been if Miramax had me involved. I'm trying to think. We'll never know. Like, could this be a West Craven classic? No, I don't think. Maybe, maybe.

Or could this have been? I mean, obviously it's not. All right. It could have been. Well, I don't know, because he was putting out some... Stinkers. Yeah, they all do. You know, that wasn't horrible.

I mean, at least it was comedic, you know? It wasn't good. See, I... Maybe. West Craven needs to like not go for comedy. Yeah, because this one definitely had some attempted comedy, right? Yeah, attempted. Jesse Eisenberg doing his best Spider-Man.

God, that was so fucking. That was a little ridiculous. I think it was sort of supposed to be funny. But I was like, all right, I guess I'll just go with it. same tired old thing that they always do where the dirty kid all of a sudden does all these amazing fantastic things and nobody questions and anything.

Yeah, we see it all the time. Suddenly he knows how to wrestle and like starts WWF and these people. Yeah, he's someplexing people. All right, Lance, what's your score? Night swim on 10, 6 on 10. who six on ten sorry

I'm gonna go four on this one you know what I'm gonna give it a five oh wow yeah I'll give it a little extra because the cast is good the comedy's there it's just not great

you know what some of it's kind of funny I bump mine up to a four because I think it wasn't it wasn't the cast's fault yeah it definitely wasn't the cast fault. But like, but I didn't know all the trivia stuff before. So I'm thinking, man, if Miramax

had kept their grubby ass hands off of it, fucking Weinstein and their big fingers, maybe. Um, then, uh, you know, maybe it could be good. I mean, it's Wes Craven. Yeah, unfortunately, Wes can't bring us a director's cut, but wait, Kevin Williamson's still around, right? I mean, I don't know. He's, uh, directing the new screen movie. that'll I don't know

that could be good or bad right I mean it'll probably be good I mean if they still have some of the footage or something

but I think that would be too big of a project for something that's not going to make a whole lot of money yeah you would

you would think all right so so Brian raises it to four ding ding ding ding ding all right

I should bring it back down to a three the fact that all right two they had Rick Baker who did an American

werewolf in London Brian, I think you gotta keep your three, man. You gotta, you gotta balance my bullshit out. Warwolf in London is still the best cinema werewolf, I think. You get that guy to do the effects, and then you just like, no, we're not gonna use none of it. Anybody can run a studio or this these days.

What do you? What are you gonna do, you know? It is what it is. All right. We want to thank you guys for listening to another. Your Max Fuchs. Another episode of The Hore Returns. We would love to hear your feedback and ideas.

Email us at thehorror returns at gmail.com. If you get your podcast through Apple podcast, it would be a really good time to leave a review. Preferably five stars, but it's not mandatory. Be honest. And yeah, we want to hear from you. And let us know. so we can get your t-shirt to you.

Next week, Tavares, our buddy Tavares, is going to be joining us. So I'm sure after the Rockets Returns segment and our NFL warm-up segment, we'll slide at some point into the Toxic Avenger. So we're going to see the original. Have you guys been able to find a theater that's showing the new one where you live? Because I'm wondering if this is going to be. Excuse me if this one's going to be a challenge

Man, I would think this would be a widespread release. I don't know why it wouldn't be. You would hope so, right? With Peter Dinklage. I just read something they added like two or three hundred more theaters because of the reception is getting. Let me check my little local. Caught stealing the roses.

Ah, toxic Avenger, there you go. All right. So Toxic Avenger next week, the original and the remake, Brian. Is that right? Yes, sir. Cool. All right. In that case, Brian, until the horror returns again.

Good night.