The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #493: Ghoulies III: Ghoulies Go To College (1990) & Critters 3 (1991)

Episode Date: November 7, 2025

Steve is back this week to continue our little creature retrospective. Cool of the week includes It: Welcome to Derry, Shelby Oaks, and Halloween. Trailers are Stranger Things 5 and Scream 7. We shine the podcast spotlight on Radio Rental. And we get feedback from Anna Barlow, Wanda Price, Natalie Box, Aimee Massey, Roy L Estrada, Agnieszka Smilowski, Tony Webb, Mike J Marin, Joe Hanlon, Michael Arnaz, Jeremy Whyte, and Markus Webber. Thanks for listening! The Horror Returns Website: https://thehorrorreturns.com THR Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thehorrorreturns/ Join THR Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1056143707851246 THR X: https://twitter.com/horror_returns?s=21&t=XKcrrOBZ7mzjwJY0ZJWrGA THR Instagram: https://instagram.com/thehorrorreturns?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= THR Threads: https://www.threads.net/@thehorrorreturns?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ== THR YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/@thehorrorreturnspodcast3277 THR Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thehorrorreturns THR TeePublic: https://www.teepublic.com/user/the-horror-returns SK8ER Nez Podcast Network: https://www.podbean.com/pu/pbblog-p3n57-c4166 E Society Spotify For Podcasters: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/esoc Music By: Steve Carleton Of The Geekz

Regings victims, for those of you who delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify gore, welcome. You have found the place where the horror returns. Listeners beware. This podcast contains major plot spoilers. and the foulest of language. Join us in celebrating the old and the new, the best, and the worst in horror. All right, welcome back, everyone, to The Horror Returns.

I'm Lance, and as always, we've got Brian, looking brutal as always, with his Jason Mamoa hairdo. Looking brutal, that could be an insult, too. I guess it could be if you take it the right it's all in how you perceive it man so

we'll take it the right way so we don't have Phil or we might we might have Phil later he's on his way he'll jump on when he can he might have to jump on a tag team with me

the wife's wanting to come in here and get to get to sleep in our one room we've got here so we'll we'll play it by air But as always, just like every week we're here. And better yet, we got Steve from the geeks.

What's going on, man? What's up, fellas? Thanks for having me back. Must be time to talk about some shitty little creature movies. Possibly. Possibly. But I want to talk about the cap, because this week you're Sasquatch Steve. Oh, yes.

Well, I mean, I can't match Brian's hair aura that he's got going because that's glorious. But I'll do my best with this. I mean, that's... That looks like a shot from like a shampoo commercial dog. It really does. It really does. No, no, no. Don't put it up.

Don't be ashamed of that. You need to show that shit off, man. So many people wish they had that. Yeah, you're killing us, Brian. I'm over here balding. I have to shave my head. There's a reason I keep my hair short. Yeah, I was lucky I was able to grow this beard, guys.

Although it's, I guess I'm trying out for Santa Claus this year with a gray. But, uh, Steve's, your sense. is still immaculate. Do you, do you color it, or is that natural? Oh, no. It's just, I have bad lighting here. If you were to get real close, you can see how much white I got. It's slowly taken over. Starting

over on the right side, it's slowly taken over. I'm going to look like two-faced for a lot. Kind of creep. Kind of creeps. All right, what's up with the geeks, man? What do you guys up to you? I've been released a lot of stuff. I guess 31 days is over. 31 days is over.

That was a lot of fun. We had, you know, the New York guys did not disappoint. Every year we have a couple of guys from New York that jump on. They're part of the CCD Podcast Network over there. And they always pick some weird shit. And this year I got to watch something called Sweet Home, which was like a Japanese movie from the 80s that was an inspiration for Resident Evil. I've seen that with a weird.

Not very good movie. But really cool practical effects for the time. Really cool. So, you know, there's some highlights there. And then what did Tommy have us watch? She had us watched like sorority babes and the slime ball or the ramma. Yeah. That's a good one. So when that imp came out, I was like, okay, well, where are we going? Some Linnea Quigley action. Of course. That was it. I finally saw. I'm like, oh, that's where Static X got that sound bite. It makes sense after all these years. So that was cool. And then after that, we actually went, we all met the geeks, the geeks, we all came together.

We came together over with Ed over there, who co-hosts the Star Geeks podcast. And we all, me, Sean, Alill, and Ed all went and hung out at Ed's house in Pennsylvania. I went to New Jersey and did some toy hunting, went to. Oh, wow. Delaware, went to, we went to the Baltimore Ravens versus Chicago Bears game, which was really funny. and all the pictures that we were able to pull that the Ravens sent a little a little just looked sad.

So, you know, that was good. Everybody around him is screaming because, you know, Ravens are doing good. A little just looks so sad. I'll bet that was a tough crowd, dude. No, it was pretty decent. It was, yeah.

It's weird. And whenever I go to NFL stadiums, they're always so much smaller than they look like on TV, you know? Everything's so much smaller. But that was good. It was a lot of, fun. I hate flying. I hate airplanes.

Oh, yeah. It sucks. Layovers and delays. It took me 12 hours to get there of total travel time and about 16 total travel hours to get back, including delays and changing flights and flight planes and all the stuff. So not looking forward to any more flights anytime soon. Well, you know, the government shut down right now, so that's probably part of it, right? could be no your traffic controllers so yeah that's a problem but yeah um right now we're doing the only other extra special thing we're doing is uh we're reviewing the series it welcome to dairy episode

by episode um so that's fun nice love that show so far it's so good spoiler alert love it but you know I love the movies too so what sucker did you uh did you make it to secret stash While you were up there? I did not. I did not. I wish I would have thought about to ask them. We went to this place called the House of Fun. And it was a huge, like four-room store of, I mean, they had so much shit there.

They had action figures pinned in the ceiling tiles. That was just everywhere you looked, there was something. I walked away from there with the VHS tape as I do. As you do. Sounds like Ness's garage, Brian. Action figure stacked to the ceiling. It was hell coming back. Sounds like his background.

It was hell coming back. I had my backpack filled with VHS tapes that Sean L gave me. Plus, I bought a full-size prop replica Omni Blade from the Mass Effect game series, so I had to carry that through TSA. Jesus. It was an adventure getting back. But it was a really fun time. But you made it.

Was the Delaware tour hunting everything you thought it would be? Or does it just work like that for Sean? Oh, yeah, the swap meet. So we went to the farmer's market, the thing you always talked about the farmer's market. And it was so good. There was so much stuff as far as you could see. There was lots of figures and Nintendo stuff and old stuff like that laying around. I'm not really hunting for that.

I did actually buy some shoes while I was there. I bought some Nike dunks, and they were in the Freddie Cougar Colorway. So I was like, were 50 bucks and they were legit I was like I kind of need them so I picked those up from there but it's cool it's an indoor slash outdoor farmers market so the outdoors have got all this stuff and then you go inside and there's all sorts of indoor stores it was old school shit like they had puppies in the window like you were you walk by and there was puppies for sale in the window like in the little with the little shredded paper I'm like oh my fuck yeah it's been

since I was in middle school since I've seen something like that So, it's a little backwards out there. It was good. I think on the East Coast so far, it's like, you guys' roads are real thin, like real narrow roads. Like, man. Yeah, not as bad as whales, though.

Like, if you make it over to across the pond. Like in Wales, it's like, yeah, it's like less than one lane. And two cars have to figure it out of pass each other in less than one lane. This makes me nervous. I drive like a Dodge Ram, Supercharged, 2,500 work van. It's gigantic.

You know, so I get nervous on these little tiny roads. Wow. So that was cool. That's pretty much it for the geeks right now. Culture shock. All right. Cool. Well, what's up with Cool of the Week, Steve?

Got anything hand-picked? You know, besides it, welcome to dairy. That's really all been the only thing I've been watching. I've been doing a lot of working on stuff on the side. And one of the things, I'll just talk about. I put out a podcast called the Calaveras Campfires, and it is a horror show, a narrative horror tale show where an old man kind of tells you scary stories. And we dropped episode one on Halloween, and that's in partnership with a local horror film

festival that I'm working with. So, yeah, that dropped. That's kind of my cool of the week. It dropped on Halloween, and the reception's been really good so far. I have some things I need to work on to fix for episode two, but it's been really cool getting the reception I've gotten so far from it. You heard that, Brian? Yeah, me and Steve were talking about it before we started. It's pretty cool.

While you were waiting 20 minutes for me to get here? Okay. Yeah. Yeah, that's what, an 85-year-old dude that narrates him or something? He's 95. Legit? Yeah, his name is Cedric. Okay.

He's great. He's a sweetheart. He's really cool. And he loves horror stuff. And, you know, he's just this really cool, sweet little old man. And he brings a lot of character. And he's got a great voice. So, yeah.

Yeah, I was telling Steve, I thought it was like a voice actor doing a character. And he told me, no, that's his legit voice. I was like, wow. Yep. I found a real pioneer old man to record this stuff. You got a winner, man. Keep using him while he's still kicking, man. You know, I mean, I didn't even know people got to me that old anymore. Oh, I know. And he's with it, right? He's like very aware of things.

Yeah. And the concept's pretty simple. I take real life kind of legends and stories and stuff from the area that I'm from in the Calvarez County of California. And I kind of take him and I give a little bit of history, but then I do my own spin. So like in the first episode It's about a guy named Black Bart And he's He's a real person Real stories or real everything about him He very easy to look up

And he never killed anybody He left poems and stuff When he robbed stage coaches But then I was like But he had a really scary look Very creative Thief right Yes

But he had a really scary look He had a long black trench coat Black clothes He wore a black bowler hat and a white mask, like a flower sack with holes cut out for the eyes. So like it just gave me that always made me feel like the town the dreaded sundown kind of. That's what I was thinking. Yeah. It gave me those vibes very, very easily.

And so after I give a little bit of history, I then embellish and turn the character into something scarier and then tell a story about that. And so that's kind of it. It's mixing fantasy in real stuff. Nice. Brian, do you want to go next? you want me to go. You got a lot this week. Yeah, I'll go real quick. Checked out the second episode of It. Welcome to Dary. Solid episode.

Lance, you need to get on this show. Yeah, I'm afraid something's going to be spoiled if I try to wait, right? I'll try to be careful, not spoil anything, but Brian, in the beginning, when a little girl woke up, I was like, it's the one time I wanted shit to be a dream. And then it wasn't. Yeah, yeah. It wasn't. I was sad that it wasn't a dream. It's like, fuck, moon. That's the one time I would have been really okay with the show telling me that that didn't happen.

But it did. I know, but I liked them. They had a good crew going. Yeah, but I like that about the show. Nobody's safe. Anybody can go at any time. Yeah, I've seen some online complaints about, like, the CGI. Okay.

the baby monster and stuff and I don't know that shit looks scary as shit to me the baby monster huh you'll you'll know what I'm talking about okay it looked really creepy to me I didn't need anything else

and then that that weird memory in episode two Brian the umbilical cord the ambillicorne scene like all of that sure it was CGI mostly but you hope it was scary shit

Man, shit is. It looks cool. And they definitely have a theme going. There's a lot of downstairs business going on in episodes, one and two. Really? Well, I heard there's some other keen characters that show up, like Dick Halloran from The Stand, or I mean, from The Shining. From The Shining. The Shinnings.

It's really cool seeing his, like, they talk about it, like, his, like, he can sense things, and they're like, I don't know feelings. or we can find something here. Oh, man. And I wonder, I wonder, because episode one, the intro, the title card, was just that pacifier flying through the sky and then the drain. Then episode two was like a five-minute Norman Rockwell painting montage of Penny Wise doing fucked up things in this theory. And I know that the car at the end, Brian, was part of that montage.

So I'm wondering if the intros are going to be different every episode or if the Norman Rockwell one's going to be the one moving forward. I just don't know. Yeah, it could be either or. We'll see. Finished the devil in the skies, John Wayne Gacy on Peacock. It slowed down a lot, but it was just really interesting how just flat out the police. fucked that whole thing up.

And they could have caught him way earlier. People didn't have to die because they got a lot of missing people reports and they were just kind of like these are just little badass fucked up kids. Nobody's going to miss them. And they were turning in like

one to two page reports with barely no questions asked on them, nothing. Ouch. I guess they even dropped a ball on his because he was in prison before and he got paroled. And I guess they dropped a ball on that. That he should have never been paroled.

O'ee. So there's a lot to the story then, a lot more than just him being a lunatic. Yeah. Oh, he's a complete psycho. The guy that played him, I thought, did an awesome job. Because he would just say things.

And I'm just like, are you trying to get caught? Like, he denied, he didn't deny murdering, like, over 30 different men, young boys. But he tried to say it was self-defense in every case. And he stuck to that up until the last point. So real sociopath then. Like, he had no qualms at all about what he did, it sounds like. And he wouldn't manipulate prison guards to get, like, special favors. And, like, he wanted, he always painted, like,

clowns and stuff because you know he was a clown sure and they were like we're not allowed to have paints and stuff like that he would manipulate them to get he had his own tv and stuff well yeah i mean that's the corrupt you know that's the thing like in every instance of these sort of real-life serial killers like it's not just them it's always the ineptitude of law enforcement and fucking other things that also play into how they were able to do the things they did and when you start thinking about it. It's like, even in the movies. Like, scream, right? Those are some, sure. You should have figured that shit out. Art imitates life. What are we doing? Like, so many kids killed. Like, they killed the principal in the school. Come on. Like, we can't figure this out.

Yeah, this inept police officers. Everyone is really sad. Yeah. Also, go ahead. No, what you were saying, Brian, it almost sounds like they were like purposefully sweeping the shit under the rug because they didn't really care about the victims too much. It's like making their job easier. It really didn't really crack off until this one kid went missing and he came from like a good family.

Oh yes. The little rich kid. Yeah, it's amazing what happens when you throw some money behind it. It's almost like if you have a lot of money that laws, certain laws don't apply to you. It seems that way, doesn't it? It seems kind of like that's the,

case. Yeah, because one police chief goes to Chicago and he's basically saying if you guys would have did your job, he would have been, this people would have never died. And then he, the Chicago police chief basically was like if the kid that started you guys' investigation wasn't where he was from, would you guys even look? Ooh. They actually, they went there. Yeah. And I don't know. I'm kind of interested now. You said it's on peacock. Is it like 30, 30 minutes? episodes, hour episodes. 45, 50 minutes. And there's eight episodes.

I'm kind of intrigued. I usually don't get into these true crime shows like this, but you're, you're kind of selling me on it. Yeah. Brian, did you watch Task? No, that's on my list. Task. I've heard about it. It's really good. It's another true crime.

Kind of feels like a Taylor Sheridan. Might even be for all that. It feels kind of like that. I very well be. but it's really good you follow like there's like a there's like a home invasion

kind of thing that happens in episode one and they tell you that in the premise of all that but do you follow one of the guys from that home invasion and you follow

the FBI guy after him so you're seeing both of their stories happen simultaneously it's really good is Mark Ruffalo right yeah and you know what Mark Ruffalo is kind of the same

and everything he's playing nice guy every Mark Rovalo role he's played Right Right Let's see Squid game

The Challenge Season 2 started I love this dumb show Because I just There's just so many fucking people That I just want to see lose That don't know how to play the fucking game You hate watching it

Did they hit them with paint balls I haven't seen an episode Do they hit them with paint balls in that They got squibs in their chest So when they get eliminated The squib goes off But it's funny because they don't tell them when it's going to go off. They couldn't be in the middle doing a monologue about how they wanted to win,

and it'll just pop. That's hilarious. Damn. I was hoping it would kind of hurt a little bit, like, wipe out, you know? Yeah. You saw those people get knocked off those red balls or they get punched out of the wall or something. Like, you could tell that rung the bell a little bit. Maybe take a finger off at least, right?

Let's see. Checked out a first episode. Talamazka, the Secret Order. Ah. What did you think? I only watched it because I heard you didn't have to watch the other series. Okay. But a character that I do know

was from the other series shows up. So I stopped because I was like, wait a minute. That's what I figured. Walking Dead, eat your heart out, Steve. Like, you got to watch every fucking series to know what the hell's going on. I can't believe Brian actually went through and watched all that again. I can't either.

I mean, yeah, you know, being a dad is a hell of a thing. You do what you got to do. That's true. Not bad so far. I'm not to the part where I dropped off, so I'm kind of dreading getting to that part where I just like, okay, this is dragon. I didn't last much longer after Negan showed up. It was a little bit I watched.

It got rough. He made fun of a bigger lady. And that was kind of towards the end. What I saw, I was like, yeah, that's about it. We are taking a break from it. we got to the Carl episode and that kind of got my daughter.

Just the way they played the episode with the vision of the future, everybody working together and it turned out of the Carl's vision. That was sad. So. Yeah.

Try to tell her. Don't hold on the characters in this show. It's hard to do that. Especially because they didn't kill them in the books. They just did it for the show. I know. Totally changed it. My cool of the week is going to be,

I did get a chance to check out Shelby Oaks. Shelby Oaks, nice. Yeah, Philip had some good things to say. Solid, solid directorial debut for Chris Stuckman. I like the bounce around from found footage and regular, I guess, standard movie. And I like the true crime aspect. And, yeah, I agree with most of what Phil said.

last week. And of course, it's got Keith David in it. Of course. But Phil was wrong. He's not a police chief. For a day's word. Former prison warden. Close up. Philip worked in the prisons. He should know better. Come on. That should have really spoken to him. Solid debut for Chris Duckman. Nice. Yeah, I have my reservations, which means I really need to see it. What do you think, Steve? Have you checked it out yet?

Not yet, but it's on my list for sure. I want to see also that, what was that one you were talking about, Laneson? This is on your 31 days. It was like Monster Island. That was good, man. This is the very first one I watched. Yeah, you'll love it. It's CGI, but it's not terrible CGI, wouldn't you say, Brian?

It's like, not like way over the top. Oh, man. Yeah, it's a fun movie. Well, you've seen an enemy mine, right? OVHS commander at you are. Kong Skull Island had that same story, basically. Same vibe. Yeah, that's true.

I think this one did it better than Kong Skull Island, but just my opinion. John C. Riley, come on now. Just my opinion. All right, so Shelby Oaks, Brian, worth to watch. Yep. All right, my cool of the week, I can't pick one. I've got a, we did the Halloween trifecta. AJ and I are getting a little uppercule.

in years, right? So we don't go out and party and do it up at the Halloween parties. I feel good, you know, happy for you youngsters that Halloween fell on a Friday, go out and party your asses off or whatever. Kids can trick or treat and throw, uh, throw eggs and their toilet paper till 2 a.m. What's the party mean? Yeah. Yeah, I know. Well, I'll tell you what our, I'll tell you what our, I'll tell you what our party was. All right. So we had, we had the original John Carpenter Halloween going in the background and AJ made a feast like all kinds of like finger foods like got some freezer egg rolls and stuff like that's what you handed out to trick or treaters you can't do that we didn't have dude we didn't have a single fucking I'm just kidding we'd have a single trick or trick or treaters show up

man we uh no she made you imagine these kids ring his doorbell and he's fucking throwing egg rolls out of mozzarella sticks and shit that'd be great I would love that as a kid, man. It's all hell of greasy. I would have loved it. All right, so like, you know, meats and cheeses, olives, pickles. You know, you get it, like little stuff. You know, bread and jam.

A little shakouterie board. Thank you, Brian. That's the word I was struggling for. So we had a Halloween going on in the background. After that, we watched Hocus Pocus. Not Hocus Pocus, too, but the original. Still never seen the part two. but I do have a sauce Oh, it's bad.

One's awesome, dude. You go to the rest of your life without watching it, you'll be okay. I disagree. I disagree. Was life-changing for a young Steve, okay? I'm telling you that right now. She can still get it. All right.

We wrapped it up with trick-or-treat, which I guess they're never going to do a sequel that they talked about. He got stuck doing all the fucking King Kong and Godzilla shit, dude. Why did we never get a trick-or-treat too? It's perfect for that, right? He only did one.

I know. Why didn't we get a second one? No, he only did one Monster First movie. Did he do the first movie? I thought he did like 10 of them, Brian. Well, I mean, he throw millions of dollars at me. I'll do 10 of them. I guess that's a good point.

He gets hang out with Dan Stevens, who's a giant ape dentist. Come on, man. That sounds like a dream come true. Dan Stevens is dressed like Ace Ventura. That's right. Oh, shit. His arms broke, yo, conveniently enough. What arm is it?

The right arm? Oh, shit. Not for another. We got something for that right here. I love it. I don't care. I like that it's dumb. I still like Fast and Furious movies, too.

They don't make any fucking sense, but they're a blast. Sure. And they all crashed into a mountain, and here we are 10 years later and we don't have part of it. Dude, the rock. row of an ambulance off of a bridge and crashed into a helicopter and then got out of that end and pulled the minigone off of the helicopter and shot another thing out of the sky.

It was glorious. It's not realistic. So you're saying they may still be alive in the next part. Okay. All right. Yeah, well, there's going to be somebody just off screen that we didn't see

in the last movie. Right. But they'll show us in the next one that if we just would have had the camera a little bit to the left, we would have seen Jason the most. They've been there the whole time. That's right. And it's going to be like Kevin Spacey or something. He's going to say, I'm back. He would crush because Jay's Momoa crushed in that role.

So it's so good. He was pretty good, man. Pretty flamboyant, to say the least. So, uh, all right. Cool of the week. Brian, horror headlines this week, man. All right. Start with TV news.

Woody Harrelson has officially shut down any chance of him, returning the true detective, saying him returning will tarnish what he thinks is a perfect first season. I can't disagree. How do you ring? I think I go one, three, three, four, two. One, four, three, two for me. Oh, you liked, you like the... The Alaska.

Yeah, that was pretty cool. Pretty dark. Real sinister, man. It was good. I just liked Marshall Alley and Steven Dorf. They were so... I did. too. I did too. Yeah, I'm going to have to go with Lance's ranking.

Not because I'm from Alaska, because that's 100% fictional. That wasn't Alaska. It's nowhere I've ever seen. So he's like, oh, it's Alaska. It's like, that's a fuck. It's like the fro. It's the tundra, you know? It's the barrier landscape of icebergs. Yeah. Brian, Brian takes his sledding team to the post office every day, 10 miles down. I'm out. Mush. How much dog food you got to buy every week, Brian?

Come on. Be honest. Breaking the bank. Okay. Let's see. Mike Flanagan's upcoming carry series might not be just one season because there is a set photo. You know how when they wrap the whole cast and crew get together, take a photo. Sure.

Bottom of the photo says carry season one. The only what, here's how you do it. right. It starts off right where the movie Carrie ended. What? Show me the show from there. I'm, okay, I'm listening. I'm tired. I don't want to see the same

Carrie show again. Yeah, no, I like that idea. I spend of a whole season watching this poor girl get bullied, watching her mom be a psycho. We already know what's going to end up happening. What's going to have happened? She's going to lose her shit. She's going to get pig blood dumped on her, and she's going to burn the whole fucking place down.

And that's great. But we've never seen what happens after. that. So, show me that. Well, let episode one be the movie. Oh, I like that. The high school. I mean, I can be okay with that. Just the high school scene, right? I can be okay with that too.

I just don't want to, it just feels like I, I feel like they're going to do the movie and they're going to drag it out for two seasons, you know, over three. That would be rough, yeah. Although Flanagan, I mean, if anybody can do it. he's on the pendulum swing for me I was I was on I bet I'm on the in the minority group of not like in midnight maps so but I was one of my favorites I loved um the other one the the post usher yeah the house on oh that one was really good all right uh let's see

American Horror Season 13 cast revealed Jessica Lang Sarah Paulson Evan Peters Angela Bassett Kathy Bates Emma Roberts, Billy Lord, Gabberee Sidibe, and Leslie Grossman all returning with a new cast member Ariana Grande

joining. Oh, God. She's playing a zombie. She's actually pretty funny, though. Like, have you guys ever seen her own Saturday Night Live? Yes. Yeah. She's, yeah, she's kind of funny. And, you know, other than that,

I don't know. I don't know how that's going to fit. But at least they want to have Kardashian, right? She was not actually bad in that one season. It's just the story was not good. Not great, yeah. I think the big That's true. What can you do with it? The big cast

member is Jessica Lang because she said she wasn't doing it no more and she hasn't been on the show for seasons. She was the best part of it. Have you guys watched all the seasons of American Morris? Yes. Well, I don't think I saw New York. I tapped out of New York. I

after two episodes. I watched the first season. I watched like episode one of season two. And then I was, yeah? And then I got, I was like, really intrigued by, they were like doing a summer camp, but like a, and I was like, all right, 80 summer camp season. I want to watch that one.

Yeah. And then I was like, okay, I'm good. I don't need any more of this. I don't need any more of this. I get it. I understand. And they pushed me right back out of the door. Yeah.

It's the opposite of the mafia. All right. movie news Godzilla minus one sequel officially titled Godzilla minus zero sure take place before Godzilla minus one huh

takes place before minus one yeah I think he's gonna be that little tiny monster for that whole movie because he was like remember he was like a super scary he was like a super scary like 20 foot tall Godzilla in the beginning

it was like a Jurassic Park scene kind of Yeah, but there could be other monsters, right? Because maybe on that island. I call it a Godzilla movie then. We'll have to wait and see. They didn't fuck up the first one, so I'll give them a shot. Yeah, I really liked minus one.

I did too. Brian wasn't as impressed with it. Did the story, I don't know, the human storyline didn't bother me as much with this one as it did with the other ones? No, Dan Stevens. I know, but that's the thing. Maybe he'll be in this one. This felt more realistic because shit was just happening to the guy while shit was happening with Godzilla. It just happened to be, it was like almost circumstantial that it was around like happening together.

In those other movies, the human people try to pretend like they matter to these creatures in some like. Oh, yeah, that's the worst, man. And it's just like they don't care about you or your cute little mute daughter. They don't give a fuck. Very true. Beast, they're millions of years old. Let's see, before Osgood Perkins' next movie comes out,

he is already filming his next one. The young people. He has Tatiana Mislani joining the cast, along with Heather Graham and Johnny Knoxville. Oh, gosh. That'd be interesting. Yeah, why not? Johnny Knoxville could reprise his role as the ringer.

The trailer for his new one looks great. Yeah. I like the monkey and I like long legs. So give him a shot. I'm ready. All right. The Mummy 4 happening. Brendan Frazier.

Rachel Weiss returning. Wow. What? What about Arnold Voslu? Tell me Arnold Voslou's coming back. Bring back, Emotep. That's the only one is confirmed. And this one.

will be directed by radio silence. The guys who did to scream and ready or not. Crazy. He doesn't make any politically activated or charged statements on social media. Otherwise, this movie might be in trouble. You think?

Does that happen? That's what happened to the scream franchise. That's why they're not directing screen seven. Well, I guess we'll find out. Oh, we were when we talked about the conjuring last rights, Lance. Mm-hmm.

We were thinking it was going to go a prequel route. It officially is being developed as the prequel, The Conjuring movie, the next one. Okay. Who's going to be in it? I'm going to say not the couple that played a young version of them in the movie. Hopefully not. They were so bland, right?

I mean, they didn't do it for me. Because Patrick Wilson is going to seem the theme song, so whatever, whoever's going to be in it. We know what I say that. I say Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande. Then I will not watch it. You would too out of curiosity. Don't you lie.

You would have to. You'd be like, son of a bitch, I gotta see this now. They got me. Probably be the first one to watch it. Probably. And finally, this just came out today. We are officially getting Gremlins 3, not a reboot, not a remake, a sequel. Directed by Chris Columbus and produced by Steve and Spielberg.

Wow. Okay. Wow. I mean, it's going to be good. I think it's going to be good. Yeah. Will Trump show up in a cameo in a hotel? I hope that it's good.

Just like, you know, these legacy sequels have not been. Not always the best. You know, the Matrix. We're coming back. Ghostbusters. Yeah. You know they're making another Matrix? Why?

With new people? With John Wick from the Wick universe. The Matrix of the Wick universe. They're making another John Wick. And he apparently said he'll do it. You just got to make it understandable why I'm still alive. So they're going to take this. Well, because this one takes place between three and four.

Even though those movies back to each other, what you're going to do is you're going to find a way. They got a ballerina in it. Yeah. You got ballerina in that universe. You got nobody is in that universe, right? Who knows who's next? He said technically, the director said technically Atomic Blonde,

Charlize Theron's characters in that universe. She was just in a different time period, the 70s or the 80s. There's a lot they could do that, right? I mean, conceivably. You imagine if they did like an Avenger-style movie and you had like Charlizees? I know it's a different time period. Yeah, but could you imagine Odin Kirk showing up and giving people

the fucking business while John Wick is handling shit with gung-foo in the back? Truthfully, I'd love it. Truthfully, I'd love it. Fucking get Christian Bayle from equilibrium in there too. Let's keep it going. Let's keep it going. And that is the news.

All right. So that means, Steve, it's time to take our little trip down to the trailer park. Brian is going to bring us the big, the small, and sometimes the very, very weird. And we got Philip in the house. What's our first trailer, Brian? Stranger Things Five, final season. Stranger Things Five, all right.

If you're seeing the show and you know who's alive, they're coming back. The only one that I know is new to the cast is Linda Hamilton. Okay. So what did you guys think? It's an awesome song they picked for the trailer, too. The Queen song. I'm a Highlander. Oh, yeah.

They always pick good stuff, man. Oh, and as far as the trailer goes, it's fantastic. It's going to be great. The show's going to be awesome. I love it every season, so I'm a sucker for it. My man, I've been talking the whole time. I've been muted. Who was singing that song, though?

That wasn't the Queen version. No, it wasn't. They always find someone to do the covers and stuff. I'm not sure who that was. Terrible. Maybe Kate Bush. So, Steve, what did you think? Loved it.

Can't wait. I'm going to be here, going to watch it, I'm just going to burn right through it as soon as it drops. I'm not even taking a day off of work. I did that for the last season. Who's dying?

Who's dying? Steve Harrington's going to go. Okay. You know this for sure? You just speculate. No, these are my speculation. Steve Harrington's going to go for sure. 11, definitely.

It'd be easy to say. No. You think? Final season. Kill 11. One of those kids. One of those kids. But there's going to be a spinoff.

It may be destined because all those other kids are paired up. So it might be destined. Okay. Be of a good gut punch. Either Joyce or Hopper could go. I mean, you know. Or both. But I think, you know, I think 11's safe.

I think Mike is safe. I think Will is safe. Everybody else. Unless, oh, but Will, you know, Will could do the ultimate sacrifice thing. You know, he does play that kind of. that kind of piece in the I think he's I think he has powers

and he's gonna sacrifice himself well I saw something that I never put together before and it blew my fucking mile I was like oh my God how did I not even notice that that like Vecna was the one that took Will in season one episode one like I always just thought it was a demigorgian

no they're redcomans don't have fucking tele... No they're not they showed you the door opened with telekinesis. Demigorgans don't do that. They showed you the silhouette of Vecna. When he was standing in the woods, it was Vecna, right? In the very first season? Yes. I didn't catch that. I didn't know what I was looking for either back then, too. We didn't know what we were looking for. We thought it was just one of those creatures. Well, that's cool. I don't think I realize that. I definitely didn't know. Who's dying, Phil? I don't know. I think a good bet would be

11 or, uh, what's his nut? The fun, the fun kid. Which one? Yeah, the one with the teeth. I mean, I think like y'all said that and I was like, no. What? Well, it's the final season. I mean, maybe they.

They wouldn't do that to him, man. Maybe they swing hard. I don't know. Dustin's a very passionate character. Yeah. And it would be a great story. for him to sacrifice himself. Although Will

makes sense also. But nobody cares as much about Will. That's true. But do we get to see Eddie in some way from season four make a I think so because they're going real hard on trying to say he's not.

Okay. All you need to do is not one time. Not like every time chance you get saying he's not in it. Yeah. Like damn, I didn't even ask you. Why he just keep just volunteering that he's not in it. Plus, he sort of caught fire and then like took off after that last one. So, yeah.

He was in other movies too, right? Yeah, but fantastic. I play a hard time and believing that they wouldn't put him back in it. Fantastic Four might have humbled him a little bit. Oh, yeah, possibly. Not the best role. I heard a theory Eddie is in it, but he's under the control of Beckna. Yeah, but then you got to have Dustin.

be the one that gets him to see the light at it. Yeah. Instead of a guitar, he has like a sword. Hmm. Ooh, that'd be fucking sweet. Wouldn't be surprised. What do you think, Lance? I don't know, man.

I think they'll probably kill a character and then like bring them back. You know what I'm saying? Like either they'll say, ah, we just resuscitated them. They weren't really dead. Or it'll be a thing where they use some kind of otherworldly power to bring them back. I don't see 11 going. I think she's going to be pivotal. They say that the characters aren't going to be in the spinoff.

Is that correct? Well, that's what I was going to say. My theory is they all die. Because they release the trailer for the animated series. Yep, which is awesome. None of those actors are voicing the characters, cutting them all loose. They all die and save the world. Could be die saving the world.

I think 11's going to be in the in the spin-off series somehow. I will tell you this. I was watching this trailer, and it's like pretty sad when Winona Ryder looks like the youngest actress in the trailer. What the fuck is going on here? They killed off Iron Man in Avengers. Yeah, I know, but how's that working out for Marvel? Well, they brought him back.

I don't know. He's Dr. Dume. Yeah, they killed him off. after over 10 years of Iron Man. Stranger things been about 10 years, Brian, hasn't it? At this point, I mean, it feels like it. These kids are freshmen in the first season and now they're saying they're seniors? Or what's going on here?

So they can kill off 11. If they don't kill her off, I could see something happening where she has to stay in the upside down to keep it closed. Ouch. Oh, yeah, that's rough. That's even worse than death. I mean, they'll definitely hit a main character And if they're gonna do that It's gonna be one that you care about

Destin Who everybody loves Yeah You're not you're not gonna go Fair enough I see you're gonna Well, at least it was that guy The only reason I don't think

The only reason I don't think Hopper The doucheback Spent so much time with Hopper's not death You know Like she's dead And then they all dealt with it But then he wasn't dead And we had to go to fucking Russia

Yeah See that's what I'm talking about Another cop out like that, man. Plus, Hopper's a main character, but he's not one of the kids. Those are the main characters. So it won't be the same gut punch, huh? I don't think it's, I don't think he's going to be hopper. I think he's going.

You know, they better not touch Murray. Oh, Murray's going. Murray's done. Murray's going to have one more karate. Murray's done. You'll leave Murray alone. I think what's her name's done for? I think she'll be throughout season.

No. Max. Oh, not Max. I think Max, I think Mac. I think she is going to come out of her coma only because Beck was going to possess her body. Dang. She's going to come out of a coma and die. Yikes.

She's just in time to die. Well, we know you didn't get much screen time last season. All right, Sadie, you're... We got bad news for you. For season five, you have no words. You're just going to lay there and get carried around. Sadie's going to say that's fine because I'm filming Spider-Man. right now.

Ah, okay. All right. Part one of season five comes out November 26. Part two comes out December 25th and the finale is December 31st.

Okay, three sick days for Steve it sounds like. Yep. Well, one's a holiday, so. Steve, you don't get holidays, do you? I don't get holidays off. It's California. There's nothing

makes sense here It's the upside down All right Trailer number two Screen 7 Directed by Kevin Williamson Sounds like Lance is out So we will throw this to Steve

Why did they give the whole fucking movie away in the trailer I don't think they gave anything away All the news of They gave all this they gave so much much she's we know the ghost face kidnates kidnaps fucking her daughter right like

they're pretty young daughter so far it hasn't been his MO has not been kidnapping then who's ghost face oh no no okay well they didn't spoil that part it's dewy ghost face is dewy he's not really

dead why know isn't what's his thing supposed to be in this not not the not not Skeedorege the other one back Matthew Lillard's David Arquette's in it

Shaggy? But the guy that played Sidney's half-brother from Scream 3 that Ghostface is in it, but I noticed when he was talking, Ghostface was talking to his victims, he was in the

voice of Matthew Lillard and Dewey, David Arquette. So I think people are thinking they're going to show up, but I think they just came to do voice roles because I think he's using the voices. Oh, that makes sense.

Yeah, it's got some AI voice change. Oh, no, it's all going to be about AI, isn't it, Philip? I bet. It's going to be an AI ghost face. It's not even a human under there. Oh, boy. It's a Tesla robot. There's a lot of, like, lines in the trailer.

I'm just like, I want to be a fighter, like you. Cheesy. I know. That was bad. That's why Sidney's daughter's dying in this one. It gives me a werewolf's vibes.

Like, men. Oh, yeah. Let's get him. Nothing could be bad as that. Frank Grillo's going to show up with his shirt off, Steve, bathed and sweat. In front of his dead brother's

wife. Yeah. Fucking weirdo. You can do it. That was the best. Yeah. I was the best. I forget about the part until you guys were talking about it.

That was in all our top five, Philip, remember? You mean bottom five? Yeah, I'm sorry, bottom five. Thank you for correcting me, Brian. Well, I don't want people thinking we like that movie. I'm pretty sure you see Joel McHale bite it in the trailer. So, you know, there's just some things. That's good.

There's some positives. You didn't get. Well, I mean, that'll make people happy because everybody want to, Patrick Dempsey to be your husband. Oh, that's true. That's true. But he can't because he went over and started killing people over in another town as the sheriff over there in Thanksgiving. True. Oh, boy.

Connecting universes. That's right. The multiverse. He escaped that warehouse and ran back home to Sydney. It is Scream 7. I kind of don't care. Well, especially because they're not continuing the storyline. They set up on five and six, which on one hand I'm upset about,

but on the other hand, like, I really didn't care about ghost ski Ulrich and his might be a killer at some point. But I did want to, because I did think both sisters were going to be ghost face. Yeah. Because there was some moments there, Jen Ortega was looking like she was enjoying stabbing people. Oh, yeah. There was somewhere to go with that. at least, right, Brian?

I mean, they could have expanded on that. I think they need to have Scoot McNary Ghostface, and every time somebody punches him, he goes, leave me alone, no. I don't know. Just a thought.

I didn't get that one. Brian got it. Yeah, that guy's a weenie in every role. All right. Screen 7. hits theaters February 27th. I guess I'll be on seeing you guys around February 27th.

I guess so. Retrospective screams. I guess so. Got to continue. Our scream aspective, huh? Gotta keep the continuity. Don't cross the streams. If they did that even with the movie.

That's the problem. But we'll see. Oh, but there are characters from those movies. The twins from five and six or in seven. Are they? Okay. They're in the trailer. I guess I missed their hair.

I mean, they might have changed their hair. You know what happened, Brian? They changed their hairstyle. So Brit Lans didn't recognize them. That's right. I didn't recognize him. I didn't recognize him. Uh-oh.

Well, easy to zone out. All right. Listener feedback. Okay, listener feedback. Let's go. This week, we shine the podcast spotlight. on Radio Rental. Radio Rental is a horror podcast

produced by Tenderfoot TV and Cadence 13. The show is created by Payne Lindsay and hosted by Rain Wilson. The name of the podcast comes from a cockney rhyming slang for mental.

Radio rental is mental. Radio rental. I don't know. That is not the description. Yes, it is. That tells you nothing about the podcast. Uh-oh. Tell us all about it, Brian.

It is Rayne Wilson, right? Is that a wrong podcast all together? Did A-I operate? It's like a weird video store, doesn't he? And he plays, like, the stories. It's like a pre-stravers. Sounds cool. It sounds cool.

I like it the way Philip described it. It's not. interested. I'm kind of intrigued, especially if it's Rain Wilson in there. Yeah, I know. I was like, oh, that's a surprise. All right. Righty, right? Right. You know, retell of being the cognate for mental? That part might

be an embellishment. I don't know. Maybe I'm missing some words there. I don't know. But that's what I got. Say it in Cockney. It's mental. In regards to the upcoming American Horror Story season 13, I did not know they were still doing. There we go, yeah. Anna Barlow says, can't wait.

Love Jescalang. Wanda Price said the Supreme has returned. Coven was my favorite season. That's a lot of people's favorite season, I think. I think so. I think so. Mine was the Looney Asylum. that they were in.

I thought that was a pretty good season. Oh, season two? Yeah, that was my favorite one, I think. I really liked the first one. I thought that was pretty awesome. Yeah, I like the first one, and I liked a freak show. Yeah, that was a good one. Oh, this is a much better description.

Okay, hold on. Let me hit that rewind button on the VHS, Steve. Discover Real Life Horror Stories. Yes, Discover Real Life Horror Stories from Bizarre Crimes to paranormal activity. These true stories are set inside the fictional world of radio rental and 80s video rental shop. This imaginative cult classic inspired horror brand

blurs the lines of reality. With cutting, just like we do every week in my brain, with cutting edge documentary storytelling and a splash of comedy. So that is it, but that is a 16 billion-time-better description. It was killing me. Thanks, Brian. Okay.

Same show, different words. Much better to spread. Let's see. We'll go back to Natalie Box. On American Horror Story, she said, Jessica, still beautiful. Love her. Amy Massey says, I agree. Lily Rob, Rab, I don't know.

Raib. Should be, yeah, Lily Raib, there it is. Should be in it. She was one of the originals, so looking forward to American Horror Stories, he's 13. And Roy Estrada says, can they bring the maid back

from the murder house? Now, which one? The old one or the young one? The young one. The redhead. I don't know this guy's taste. Well, that's true. Teach their own. Teach their own. Hard to say no to that one.

Remember the scene where he was banging the young version and then the wife walked in? and seen it with the old version and I don't think I was trying to figure out was she more shocked that she caught her husband cheating

or that it was an older woman oh that's a good point that is a really good point let's see in regards to the Robert England speculation uh

man I'm sorry I'm gonna butcher your name Agneska Smil-Smilowski? Kabador-Schmet or Smetlap. There's a lot of continents there. It's just speculations. He knows what he's done and where he wants to head up.

And that comment makes no sense because he wasn't, Robert Engel wasn't speculating on everything, on anything. He just said, I think it's Ronnie Yu, the director of Freddie versus Jason. He just said he would, he would like to see him do more horror movies. Okay. Okay. He wasn't specular.

I like Freddy versus Jason. I did too. So I think this guy misread the post. Okay. That makes sense. No way. Somebody commented on something without fully reading it and comprehending what's going on. It would have been a first language.

In regards to Robert Edgar's. Robert Eggers' Wehrwolf. Tony Webb says another one of his films to fall asleep watching. I still haven't watched Nosephara to yet.

It's so boring. It is. I don't want to watch it. I liked it when it came out. I enjoyed watching it in the theater. Right? I kind of don't want to watch it again. It's talking, talking.

Right. Lily Rose-Dubbs. British Angles. Dracula Shlong and then Big hand of our mustache Aaron Taylor Johnson's in it for some reason

even though he's hardly in it Well he's the werewolf now right Yeah I'm afraid of this one too Like Yeah Man first we got Wolfman Which was terrible

And then now we're going to get This Werewolf movie And it's maybe there's a cool Weiralf design But we're going to have to sit through Two and a half hours Of people talking in British Dialogue

Yeah before we get to it. Costumes and dialogue and dancing and king and queen. They should bring Keanu Reeves in and have him not do a British accent. Hey. That wolf bit me, man.

If he was John Wick, he would fuck that werewolf up. That'd be a short film instead of a movie. Imagine if John Wick was in werewolves. That would have been way better than Frank Grillo. Really? Yeah. Some gun cato with silver bullets.

All right. In regards to Hill House lineage, Mike Marin said this movie sucked. I didn't watch it. I heard nothing good. It just sloped down, didn't you? I've heard nothing good. Yeah.

Yeah, like I like the first couple, and then they kind of kept going with it. I was like, all right. Problem was they kept going with it, huh? Yeah. People got to eat it. All right. The Witcher season four,

Joe Hanlon says the flames indicating they burn this series to the ground is a nice touch. Liam Hemsworth looks terrible as Jarls. Yeah. I'm just going to say, I'm going to put it out there.

Pretty bad, huh? You let the world have Henry Cavill, and then you just swapped in Liam Hensworth, like nobody was going to notice. Right. Like, nobody said it. It's not like they did it quietly.

They made it was very loud announcement, but I'm just saying it is. Yeah. We get it. I know what you're saying. It is, it is crazy, huh? Yeah. I'm not interested at all.

I couldn't get into it. I even tried reading the books. I never played the games, but. The games are fun. Yeah. Yeah. The third one is awesome. Play it.

Yeah, I got like four hours into a mission I couldn't finish. I had to go backtrack a bunch, and I was like, I don't tell with this game. Yeah, that'll frustrate you. It's one of those where if you go into the wrong area, you are fucked. Yeah, and it doesn't tell you. Don't go here yet. Yeah, it just lets you bury yourself even deeper. You show up and get your ass whooped.

All right. In regards to Nightmare on Elm Street 2, Michael Arnais says classic Zim, there he is. Zimvader says such a good poster. I thought he was saying classic Zim Vader. That could be true. Classic Sim. Could be.

Welcome to Derry. Jeremy White says, just watched the second episode and it was really good. Yes, it was. There you go. You caught up on the umbilical cord. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I watched the second episode.

It's got my interest. I'm sticking with this one. Except those jackoffs that trying to jump that duel while he was asleep. They are terrible. That's not. That's not cool. Yeah. Because they all lost.

That was the worst. What are you bumbling around for? Yeah. Well, I won't say anything to spoil the end of the first episode because it's pretty awesome. Yeah. Yeah, please don't. All right. to the last night in Soho.

Mark Weber said, oh, the shit, best seen is the end. I don't remember it, do you guys? No, I mean, it's like as soon as credits roll, it's like, oh, thank God. Yeah. That was not Edgar Wright's best, was it? They'd have a good soundtrack or something.

I don't know. All right. That's it for listener feedback. Intro and logos. Come from Steve. Hey, Steve. All right. And our original skull artwork comes from Natsulani.

And if you'd like to help us out, please consider becoming a Patreon patron. You can pick the movies for a future show at any amount. And for $5 or more a month, you can pick a commentary for a future bonus show. All right. Featured attractions. So it's time for another retrospective, Steve, you're here. So that's the deal. So we're going back to Critters and Goolies.

There's more of them. so far the series is all tied up we'll see who who pulls this one out it'll be interesting because i think this one's going to be the most divided i can i i could i could maybe be swayed i don't know well all right we'll start with critters three uh from nineteen ninety one classic leo decaprio movie uh the tiny furball aliens that will eat any

or anyone set their sights on a Los Angeles apartment tower. Director is Christine Peterson, also known for Slaves to the Underground and the Redemption Kickboxer 5. Did not know that was a movie. Writers are the Chiodo Brothers, also known for killer clowns from outer space. Leonardo DiCaprio was commented on this film stating, I admit, I've done a few lousy roles in the beginning of my career,

like my role in Critters 3, but at that age, you'll do anything for attention. Oh my God, shut up, Leonardo and Caprio, nobody cares. I was in some bad movies when I was, shut the fuck up. Yeah, dude, you guys start somewhere. I hate when, like, what's his name? From the Neutron movie, Morbiased. Yeah, says he was never in Urban Legend.

Yes, you fucking were. very clearly the main character or like Jennifer Anderson's like I don't want to talk about Lebercon I'm like why not it's cool it's fine yeah well especially

Jennifer Anderson and Leopardcon that's awesome that's like where she got her start you were rocking LA gears bro it was great hell yeah all right critters three

Steve what do you think okay critters three didn't keep hardly any of the cast one character And you get a little bit brief cameos, a couple of them towards the end. But I actually kind of like this one. I thought this feels both this one and the Goose Street felt more like kids movies than the other two did.

Yeah. But this one, I think, succeeded in the sequel territory of you set it up in a new area, introduce new characters, you know, a new setting. We've been in this like mountain or forest town or whatever this, whatever town we have. Whatever town we were in, it was like in the plains or something. There's forest all around it. Here, now we're in an apartment complex. It's much different.

You get some colorful characters, that smarty guy. Kind of like the children of the corn, urban harvest. Hey, I like that. You change the setting. I like that one. The basketball scene in that one still slays. But, you know, I thought you get that smarmy guy who was like stealing people's underwear and shit and, you know, being a creep. it's critters it's they they bounce balls that are covered in fur on camera and they throw them at people

and people have to hold them against their tummies and go ah you know but it had very cartoonish or memorable characters and um i thought it was for for critters this is good this is good i like that i thought it was fine fair enough Brian what you think i hated this one They didn't lean too much into the comedy All the adults are shitty people Well you think this one leaned into comedy Wait till the next one Yeah

And full disclosure I watched this before Goolies 3 I do when we get to Goolies 3 I will disagree with you Steve That one's not a family movie Right Oh I wasn't gonna claim that one Oh I guess I get what you're saying

Because I just been to need it It's sort of is with some parts that are definitely not. The showers and the pillow fights and... I think this was just... There's lots of boobs in Goose, three. I think they lean too much into the comedy in this one, and we're getting away from the sci-fi horror aspect.

I do like... We didn't get the bounty hunters. Yeah, I mean, we kind of did with Charlie in there, but he's technically not a bounty hunter no more. He's just a crazy person trying to hunt critters on his own. Right. succeeding. We do, I mean, we do get a cameo from Ugg at the very end.

But let's be honest, that was like a fucking screen grab from one of the other two movies, you know? They didn't get that guy on set. He didn't even move his mouth. Oh, he didn't, did he? I just didn't like any of the characters and none of the effects. I think this is a step down from the first two as far as the effects. Okay. I can't say that anything you're saying is wrong.

For me, I watched this more. For some reason, I was able to tap into the kid kid version of myself. And I liked it. I was like, this is the kind of movie I would have watched over and over and over as a kid. Yeah, I thought the kids were fine in this. They were a lot better than any of the adults.

I wish we would have just cut most of the adults out of this and just had this been the kids dealing with the situation. That would have been really cool. It reminded me a lot of like an 80s commercial, like especially with an old man, that little boy were hanging out with that little green crystal and like just stand there looking at it it just felt like an old toy commercial or something yeah yeah basically in my opinion they should have kids on bikes yeah that's what i was about to say it's hard when you're basing the entire

moving in an apartment complex well they didn't have to go that right like they could have kids on bikes thing i think i think that would have actually been how the fow way better how the Fuck did that guy get all the way through the city to the front of his building with no brakes? When did they go out? Knit picking. And then he crashes in the homeboy's car and he gets out and he's like, oh man, I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do? And he's like, no, it's fine.

No, I don't worry about it. Sorry you're trashed my car. It's cool. Like, holy shit. Yeah. And that's the other thing. This was a live action cartoon. This is the same reason why I give a lot of runway to like Batman and Robin.

of course it's a terrible movie but it's a live action cartoon that's all it is there's even the cartoon sound effects and boing and bong and all this other stuff it's just a live action cartoon cartoon and they had that in this haven't cool coolies three but like every character was like a caricature that the big lady neighbor you know aha she's loud of her ass she's wearing a big fucking moo-moo the whole time her hairs and curlers people don't look like that dude if you were to draw that person in a cartoon that's what they would look like and they also don't follow the rules they set up

like when people get hit with the little darts the little spikes and the past movies they're just passed out immediately in this movie you're getting shot with multiple acting woozy and you're still yeah because these fucking guys their tolerance is well this is the city maybe to like this is the city

We do Coke in the morning with our coffee dog. Right. These little darts and shit. I get him the big city folks. The critters wasn't ready for it. I do like the critters recognize Charlie when he shows up there like, uh-oh. Like all that stuff is. Did the critter go and lay eggs underneath the truck?

Is that what happened in the beginning there? I think so. Yeah, it looked like it. One laid eggs and then completely disappeared. Yeah. I was like, wait a minute. We just saw like a P-O-V thing of a, what seemed to be a tired critter and now there's eggs.

Maybe it was a P-O-B of the eggs rolling. Could be. All right. Maybe Leonardo DiCaprio was mad about his role because his first time on screen, you see a manhandle a stranger's child. You're like, what are you doing? Are you grabbing that kid? When that girl walked out and was like, get your hands off, my brother, you pervert.

Oh, are you lucky? Like if I was like at a rest off and some kid put their hands up like You're not catching hands right now bro Yeah Don't touch the kid It seemed to be in good intentions Hey don't fall off this

But he's like grabbing him by the arm Yeah Why are you not falling off the edge? And then the kid almost fell off the roof At the end right? Yeah Oh no, don't roll down the hill Lance

What'd you think? Yeah it was fun I disagree with Brian on some things because I don't know. I think at least these three have all been kind of consistent. You know, I like the, I love the practical special effects. I think I was a sucker for that, like when they were, you know, in the kitchen and going crazy. And I don't know. It was kind of cool because a lot of the creatures looked like super evil, like those, that really black look to them and those red eyes and the teeth and everything.

and that was kind of creepy looking. They had a really cool shot, too, or one of them was rolling towards the camera, and then right before I got to the camera, it opened its mouth like, bah, like, oh, ooh, that's a new shot. But then we got a trash can being bowled down the stairs at them while we cut through. Yeah, we did.

But Brian, you can't forget to add that you also got the pins being knocked down sound when the trash can hit them as well. Okay. But then, that's live action cartoon. Live action cartoon. Yeah, I like Steve's point of view here. It was like a live-action cartoon. It was kind of fun seeing.

It was fun seeing Leonardo DiCaprio in there. Like you guys were talking about. And the trauma. Like, oh, well, I don't want to admit I did a movie like that, but it's kind of fun and it got them noticed, you know. Yeah. The trauma that Leonardo DiCaprio's character is going to have after wishing death upon his stepfather, who then immediately gets eaten my monsters. Who immediately dies?

That was pretty harsh. It's going to be some shit to unpack in a couple of decades, you know? It's going to be sitting in a session somewhere. I tried not to think too much about this movie. I just, you know, I kind of had fun with it. I thought it was just the right amount of comedy and then it had a little bit of...

I just... I thought the special effects were top-notch, right? Like super late 80s, early 90s special effects. Pop-notch. didn't go crazy. Like, all right, I'll give you an example. We're watching the, we were watching the Stranger Things trailer, right? And I get it why you guys are excited about it, but man, it's like watching a video game with all the fucking CGI.

And with this, you got the slimyness. Yeah, well, I'm bringing it up now. So I wanted to compare and contrast the styles. So it was fun. And the Cheota brothers, you can't go wrong. I mean, I'm sure they had a lot to do with the creature creation and special effects. So I'm all for this. I'm all for this.

I'm going to say, I'm going to say these three are very, what's the word for it? They're consistent. I'll just say they're really consistent. I think you're way off base. This is just as good as the first two. Yeah. Yeah, for me. It was a different set design.

I think they do. I think I actually like this one more than Critters 2. I can see that. I like the Playboy. The Playboy Bunny in Critters 2. That was cool. For different reasons. But what do you think, Philip?

I don't know, man. I can kind of see both sides of this one. I think I could be swayed either way on either one of these movies actually to be on. I'm interested to see how the ghoulies talk goes. But this one, it was okay.

It was, I see what you mean about the live action cartoon thing. And it's fun to see Leo in this one. Really just for that. But it was a little more cheesy and they definitely did get away

from the like sci-fi space stuff. Leonardo de Cabriel was wearing the clothes of every kid in middle school in 1991. For sure. Like, holy crap. I think I had that shirt, bro. As soon as those kids popped up in the bright-ass colors, I was like, dude, I used to have like some like neon purple shorts that went down to my shins. I was that age.

Oh, yeah. So it did have some nostalgia to it But I don't I don't know that it was as good of a movie Just just different Just different I don't want to go with it Yeah okay Still undecided

Steve what do you think about a score I'm gonna go six and a half on this I liked it more than I didn't I thought I was better than it was bad Six and a half's get score Okay Brian I'm going to have to go four

I think this is a drastic drop off from the previous two in effects characters story oh harsh I liked the change it was fine I was okay with it uh Lance

I'm I'm six and a half also I think it was two thirds fun I just I kind of like the fact that they got out of the country Like the little, you know, sleepy town and got into the city for a change. They always do that. Culture guys. But they do. You wouldn't have been able to tell they was in a city.

They was in the damn building the whole time. Yeah. Well, that is true. Brian, come on, man. Give them a break. I will not give them a break. You went from having a whole farm with acres of land to. That was when they had D. Wallace money, bro.

Yeah, true. the two apartments and a laundry shoot. Man, I'm gonna go somewhere in the middle. I think it's a five for me. I can see the upsides. It's definitely a lot sillier,

which is a weird thing to say about critters, but this one is. It does feel like more of a silly kind of kids movie. They even did like a a gremlin's thing with one of the critters

who gets like his eyeburned. I was like, oh, that's true. Yeah, that's true. That's true. A lot of borrowing from gremlins, that's for sure. So it was fun. It's not as fun as Gremlins.

No. It was fun. For a critter's movie, it's fun. All right. Let's see. Goalies go to college from 1990. College teacher brings the little critters back to his campus where they proceed to terrorize the faculty and students

Director is John Carl Bueschler also known for Friday the 13th The New Blood and Troll Which troll Not troll too It was definitely the first one Troll that had actual trolls in it Yeah

There you goblins Oh, that one, okay, yeah All right, writers are Luko Berkovich, Berkovichi Jeffrey Levi Yeah, something like that Jeffrey Levi and Brent Olson The movie is the film

The film debut of actor Matthew Lillard Was Matthew Lillard in this? I had him. She was one of the The frat nerds Of course Was he? I didn't notice. Is he the one wearing that at all?

Was he the one wearing the crown, Brian, at the beginning? No, he's part of it. Okay, you got the Asian one. That actor was Bruce Lee and the Dragon Bruce Lee story. Okay. Oh, my God. And the tall one that's always with him is Matthew Lillard. Man, I have to go back and look at this.

Yeah. I didn't recognize him. It's not going to change my score. All right. Well, Steve, what do you think about this one? I didn't like this one. You didn't like this one? Now here's the thing.

I've never seen this before, so I don't have any nostalgia for this. Okay. I thought the main actor here, I just couldn't stand his face. Kevin McPherson, the old guy? He's got into white eyes the whole time. I just couldn't stand it. He's talking about Skip. Oh, a preppy guy.

Okay. Skip. Yeah. His face bothered me the way like Glenn Powell's face. bothers me now. Oh, that's bad. I can understand that. There was lots of boobage.

You know, that was good. That's a plus for sure. I didn't like what they did with the goolies. For one, they're all twice the size I ever have been. And now they talk. They fucking yuck it up. And not only they yuck it up, they yuck it up

over the top of each other, so you can't ever fucking tell what anybody's saying. They got the most annoying voice actors. Too much kibits. Too much kibitzing, right? Too much. And then this professor guy is just over to, and I get it, I was just talking about it. And it is.

This is also very much a live action cartoon. Oh, yeah. They fucking have the hollow coconut sounds when they bonged their heads together. It is, you know, it is very much a live action cartoon with boobs. But I just, I didn't like it. I don't know. I just, I wasn't getting anything from it. Yeah.

I didn't think that the. there was any real particularly cool kills or anything um not were there any kills i was going to say did they even kill anybody i don't think they did they kept telling them to go kill dynamite they were going around or the gullies would come back and they'd be like you know in more college swag you know like every time so there was there was that security guard that had a bomb go off and oh that fucking god and he was still and he was still kicking talk about live action cartoon i guarantee you you that if this was something that I had seen a bunch of times when I was a kid, I would have nostalgia. I could tell why people like it if you grew up with it. Because it is. It's silly and it's

campy and it's fun. And you know, maybe I need to watch it again. I probably do do because I didn't notice Matthew Lillard. And you know, I'm not saying it was bad. It just wasn't what I was expected. It took it, Brian, you were talking about how much the other one changed from from the first two. This one is like feels like it's from a completely different franchise borrowing ideas from the first two grueless movies including some terrible comic book art so that's basically where i'm at but you know i'll chime in here and there brian what do you think kind of loved it oh nice nice it took me back to late 80s early 90s when yeah ronchy college movies were yeah oh yeah oh yeah Yeah, I got that deal.

You would sneak to watch them. Because this was live action cartoon. You're right. College wretchie movie. Mixed with critters, uh, gremlin shenanigans.

And they talk like they were the Ninja Turtles in the 1990 movie. And then you have boobs. The body count wasn't high. I think maybe two people died.

Okay. There's a guy in the beginning. I think that chick that kept trying to fuck him on all the exercise machines. I think she got it. She got it more ways than one. Okay. See, you are reminding you. She got nailed.

Like, when that guy left the room and he looked down, he's like, we're safe now, bro. It's like, oh, man. I do agree. I do agree. The goolies did look kind of weird because they looked like they were double the size. But there were some cool practical effects. It was low budget. Like when the professor, Kevin McCarthy, he changed into whatever thing he had with the mouth on his stomach.

Oh, yeah. Well, yeah, because he said in the beginning, right, if you eat me, then I will, my body will consume yours or some shit. Yeah, from a comic book or something, wasn't it? Or a toilet? I don't know. And I like that it was in the form of that that was in the form of that was awesome The demon toilet The demon toilet and then

If you had that at your house that would be fucking sweet Like that would be such a cool conversation story Oh my shit for real A demon toilet and then green light in there And then the comic book idea Smoke machine Right Because you didn't have to be like

An occultist or an expert to read from this ancient book you could have just read it from this comic book yeah you just pick it up and read it it's all you need so i like that idea i don't know i just had more fun i know i agree what you see this just like critics three is way off base from the the first couple movies but i just had a lot yeah it feels like all my complaints are your praises and vice versa and vice versa it's like it's like exactly this opposite and the same at the same time i feel like we have we're We're like two minutes off from meeting in the middle, you know. But like it is in an alternate universe.

It's different from the Gullies franchise, but the Gullies franchise never really took itself seriously. It was silly from the beginning. True, because you can honestly say all three movies are different in some way. It's true. I liked Gullies too a lot, but then again, I'm mostly like that for the carnival aspect of it. Yeah, because the Critters franchise. We all love that one.

one and two were more similar than three. They were like trying to be real movies, and then three seemed more. Cash grab. Yeah. Yeah, well, two and Critters was a direct sequel. Caternity include. Gullies was a completely different.

Yeah. It's been different every time. Like Critters, that Critters 3 could have totally been like a Saturday morning cartoon. Mm-hmm. And they could have got away with it. All right. Lance, what do you think?

I don't know. Brian's kind of swayed me here a little bit, the more I'm listening because I, I went in thinking this, this thing was a fucking piece of shit. I thought this movie is fucking horrible because you've got, it's not a horror movie, right? You've got the, the critters that are like. There was a panty raid that went bad and they got jumped by the half-naked women. Did it go bad? That's not horrific. Mission-wise, it went bad, but that's fair. spectacular failure. I think it went about as good as it could have gone.

I don't know why they ran away. They were getting their pants ripped off. I was like, yo, what is happening? You're like, we're going to steal their panties, and then they all come out, like, half naked, hitting them with a boost down pillows and trying to take their pants off. I'm like, this, this is,

have I died? This is the college I missed. Yeah, if I was, if I would have seen this when I was a kid, I definitely would have gone to college. Oh, no doubt. No doubt. Yeah, I don't know. I was thinking the goolies were all wrong, you know,

because they're like you guys say, they're yucking it up. Like they're, I don't know, like a bunch of old Jewish comedians and the Catskills or something, and they've got all these corny jokes. The old men in the corner of the Muppets. Why are the goleys? Why are two of them from New York?

You know, I don't understand. I know. Yeah, it makes those sense. What are you doing here? Yeah. Yeah, it makes no sense. But yet somehow, as Brian points out, it kind of works. Because I would have stayed up and watched this movie fucking every weekend for a year.

I would have loved watching this movie. It's got like everything in it you love, you know? Perfect movie for a 12-year-old. Absolutely. I missed the mark. That's the thing. I missed seeing it when I should have. That's probably it.

That's my fault, not the movie's phone. Yeah, I think that's my problem too. I'm over here trying to critique this movie like it's a real movie. Yeah, what the fuck? I didn't give that same amount of critique to Critters 3. Why the fuck, all of son am I over here like Goolies 3? Where's your bar?

Where's your standard? There's no fucking standard. It's Golly's three. I don't know. I'm kind of in, I'm of both worlds, just like both of you guys. So, Philip, you're going to come in and put us on five again or what? No, I. I actually had a really good time with this one.

The big nerd is Matthew Lillard. Oh my gosh. That's great. And that is Bruce Lee. Oh, my God. I kind of have to, I feel like I have to go back and watch it again, and I'm not mad about that. It's not a bad idea. It's not to see the scene where that one girl comes out and has a weird deer head.

She can't get off of her head. Yeah. What was up with that? The girlfriend The girlfriend walks in She's like, I didn't know this was a stag party Stag bird Yeah

That was rough Yeah This was like Revenge of the Nerds Mixed with Exactly Mixed with critters With little creatures in there that Talk over each other

Yeah Yeah Because I couldn't even really remember anybody dying And then like when the When the security guard blew up And he literally had like black smoke and his hair was, right, looked like a cartoon.

That guy should have legit died five times in a movie. That's what you see on the Flintstones where he's like, Flansdown! He's all kind of, you know. I just, I kind of giggled and I was like, okay,

this is where we're at. And then the, the, the, the, the panty raid scene was, sure, kind of fantastic.

Like, it didn't need to be there at all. It was completely ridiculous. Which was the whole point. right yeah and and and and and it was kind of glorious it's like why are we doing this yeah you know what i don't care and the adults knew all the people that worked at the school knew they were like you know this is going to happen right like you better lock your shit up because like people are going to come and they're

going to bring and that security girl's like i'll take them i'll keep them until monday i mean i'll have them back by friday this guy is wild this guy should not be working at his school he needs to be No kidding. It's silly. It is, it's a live, it's a live action cartoon that took itself less seriously than than Critters through, I think. What about when the critters walked up and there was like three chicks in one in each shower? In each shower? That's a big shower.

Aren't they like one of them staring into this? They were like, this is happening. And then one of those shower curtains opens up and it's like, well, that's a lot more than just, all right? We're just doing there. You're right, Brian. This movie does have a lot to offer. It really does. Brian sold me. It's fun and it's silly.

And it is like a kid's movie, but with like a lot of boobs. It's like a coming of age, a young boys movie. Like, I would have, if I'd have known about this movie when I was 12, I'd have probably watched it 100 times. I'm sure you would have. Yeah. Not one that they showed on Cinemax, though. All right. Let's go score.

Steve, what do you think? Yeah, I guess I'm kind of now that after we've talked about it. Like, I had this thought about it going in. And now I'm just more upset that I didn't watch it when I was younger more than anything. I know. So my score was going to be different at the beginning of this, but Brian's words of sway me, I'm going to give Goolies 3 on the Gully scale an 8. Damn.

Nice. I don't know if I go there. Think about it. Think about it. On the gully scale. On the gully scale. And think about it also. But you got the carnival though in the second.

Yeah. Come on. Yeah, but the boobs to fun scale is way, it lings way over on this. This is way sillier. This has got, this has got puppets doing puppet stuff and lots and lots of boobs.

Yeah. Jesus. If you turn the air, eight sideways what do you get? Brian, what do you think? I was already at eight. You had me at eight. And my boat is Goolies takes this round.

Damn. It has to for me because it's higher than the six and a half. Yeah, easily. Lance, what do you think? I'll go six, and I say Critters takes this round. Oh, all right. But I was at a four. I was at a four until Brian started.

For me, definitely takes this round. So I guess it's a three to one, but I guess so. I guess so. This is the one that I was wanting to talk about. And I watched it first. And I was like,

oh, this is so ridiculous. It's going to be fun to talk about. And you were right. And then you guys reminded me of a bunch of stuff that I kind of forgot about. it and I really have to go see Matthew Lillard now and

I'll send a picture in the message feed oh yeah man I gotta watch it yeah I barely recognize some of the dialogue though is just where it's like oh sure it's ridiculous yeah it's it's ridiculous it is so stupid and so it has to be on a like on a

real movie scale it's probably it's like a three but okay that's generous on a gully scale I'm gonna go eight too damn that's how it's it's I like this is our next into the Spider-verse or what?

Well, no. Into the Spider-Verse, you have to rank that as like a real movie. You have to actually rate that one. You know, this isn't a real movie, Lance. This is Goolies 3. Like, this is, I think this might be my favorite Goolies movie so far. Oh, yeah. Strong words.

Two is mine far and away. The carnivals. Yeah, if it wasn't for the carnival, this would be. Yeah, that's fair enough. Yeah, Nez, I'm sorry. Definitely better than the first one is. First one sucked. Yeah.

Yeah, kind of. It was slow and weird. And the problem of that one is also that Critters One was actually pretty good. Yes. It's hard. Yeah, Critters One was definitely a better thing. Okay. All right, so.

Goolies three wins it for me. So far were Critters, Goolies, and Goolies. Right? Yeah. So Critters One, Goolies, too. I never would have thought that, but okay. I know. All right.

All right. How many more there? Yeah, I don't know how many more there are. I know there's at least two more critters movies, right? And some TV series. Two more Critters movies. No, one more Critter movie. Two more Critter movies in a series.

And one more Goolies movie. Let's fucking go. Huh. We might have to make another Goolies movie. All right. I'm having fun with these. all right until the next one we want to thank you guys for listening to another episode of the horror returns

we'd love to hear your feedback and ideas you can reach us at thehorreturns at gmail.com or www.w.w.com next week we're going to do some predator shit right predator two and double check this time badlands all right i'm going to go think i'm going to go try to catch badlands tomorrow so Steve until the whore returns again. Gooo!