The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #496: The Last Thanksgiving (2020) Commentary

Episode Date: November 26, 2025

This week, we celebrate the season by watching The Last Thanksgiving. Does this movie have all the trimmings, or is it a real turkey? Catch the movie streaming on Prime, Plex, or Tubi and watch along with us! Cool of the week includes Texans Field Day, IT: Welcome to Derry, and Keeper. We shine the podcast spotlight on Plastic Fangs podcast. Feedback will return next week. Thanks for listening! The Horror Returns Website: https://thehorrorreturns.com THR Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thehorrorreturns/ Join THR Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1056143707851246 THR X: https://twitter.com/horror_returns?s=21&t=XKcrrOBZ7mzjwJY0ZJWrGA THR Instagram: https://instagram.com/thehorrorreturns?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= THR Threads: https://www.threads.net/@thehorrorreturns?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ== THR YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/@thehorrorreturnspodcast3277 THR Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thehorrorreturns THR TeePublic: https://www.teepublic.com/user/the-horror-returns SK8ER Nez Podcast Network: https://www.podbean.com/pu/pbblog-p3n57-c4166 E Society Spotify For Podcasters: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/esoc Music By: Steve Carleton Of The Geekz   

Greetings, victims, for those of you who delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify gore, welcome. You have found the place where the whole, the horror, return. You have found the place where the whole return. Listeners beware, this podcast contains major plot spoilers and the foulest of language. Join us in celebrating the old and the new, the best, and the worst in horror. Welcome back, everyone, to the Hore Returns. Thanksgiving edition. This is Lance, Brian, and Philip. And we're all sitting around sharing the Thanksgiving feast. Brian brought the cranberry sauce from the frozen north.

Philip brought the jambalaya from Galveston. And I brought the gator meat from Florida. You guys ready to eat? Sure. Cranberry sauce is from the frozen north? I don't know. Ours usually comes in a can. Okay, well, it's the same here.

Welcome back to the horror returns. We're glad you guys joined us for Thanksgiving. We're doing it a little different this week. We're doing a commentary. Brian, how did you find this movie, is what I want to know. I looked up lists for Thanksgiving horror movies, and 95% of them we've really, already done.

So this is the process of elimination. Last Thanksgiving movie standing, huh? Yeah. I mean, it could be fun. It's a horror comedy. Could be fun. Could be really bad. Could be both.

We'll find out. We don't have a lot of options. All right. Oh, shit. Cool of the week. What am I thinking? Who wants to get, who wants to get started? The cool of the week.

I got a list, so I'll go last, I guess. Yeah, I'll jump in real quick because mine are kind of same old, same old. Well, sort of. Welcome to Derry, definitely, McCool of the week. I've still been catching up with that one. And then I went to, I had a customer that gave me a tickets to Texans Field Day. So we got to go and hang out at the stadium. Yeah, like, there was only like one former player there.

He was Cecil Shorts the third. We got him to sign of football. That's cool. Yeah. Someone was wrong with their uniforms that last game. No. You know what? It was kind of growing on me towards the end.

Yeah, when they were winning. When they was on the field. Yeah, for sure. I saw a meme about it. And, you know, like when Seinfeld is walking into Kramer's apartment and he's got that red light in there he's like what is going on in there like it's the texan's uniform jerry uh but yeah so that that was definitely my cool the week got to hang out with the kids

found out that i am no longer faster than logan on a 40-yard dash it happens certain age it happens yeah i still tied him but he's gotten faster and that's all i got lance what he got All right. I'm, I'm finally on the bandwagon, but don't please, guys, please don't spoil week five, if you've already seen it. But I'm, yeah, I finally got it into Welcome to Derry. The first two episodes were directed by Mochetti, which I didn't realize that, but they were like the second one I thought was almost movie length, wasn't it? There was a lot of stuff in those episodes. Yeah. No, I mean, it was a lot of stuff, but I think. I think it was still like a 45-minute episode. Yeah, I enjoyed it more than I thought I was going to because it's like it did something to me that, you know, we get pretty jaded in this every week, right? We watch a lot of horror movies and then, Brian, you're watching them year-round, like a lot, and then at least for October, I'll hit 31 new ones and all that.

But we see a lot of extreme shit, but that first episode, man, just, I don't know. No, I was shaking after I saw that movie theater scene because I didn't think that was going to happen. I was like really shocked. I thought maybe one thing would happen, but I don't want to spoil anything. It's just like you think that you're going to be like have a certain, certain character arcs throughout the series, right? Stranger Things style or whatever. And then that you kind of get surprised when things happen and it sort of changes and shifts around a little bit. but I haven't actually been that scared watching a TV show in a long fucking time.

I was ready for the next episode after that for sure. Yeah. I've got, well, I've gotten as far as the first part of the third episode where it was the flashback to 1908 at the freak show. I thought that was pretty crazy, man. Pay attention to a lot of the flashbacks because those are possibly be the time settings for future seasons. That makes sense.

Is it supposed to be three seasons? Is that they're not going to go Game of Thrones, right? And go like seven or eight seasons? Last thing I read, it was three seasons planned. They're going to go back every time. Yeah, that would work pretty well, man. I hope they cap it off at that. But yeah, I'm super impressed.

I do want to watch a new show called Pluram. us. Have you guys heard anything about this? Yeah, I checked out the first two episodes. Nice. Very science-y. Really? Yeah. And what's her name is not too bad in it?

Forget the actress's name. She was Saul Goodman's love interest and Better Call Saul. That's right. Is it Ria Seahorn? Is that, I think that's her name. I think you're right. Yeah, she will, I don't want to, if I keep talking about Derry, I'm going to spoil something and I don't want to do that and I don't want you guys

to talk about it because I have I've I'm only a little more than two ends so what else you have Brian the latest one was good though it goes into some of the lore yeah and kind of gives you some backstory I like it and I really like what they're doing with Dick Halloran

yeah with his character oh yeah I didn't I didn't even know that whole angle was going to be in there with the Air Force and base and all that stuff yeah let's see I checked out a

anthology horror show called Tales from the Res I think this is from the Blackfoot Nation I've heard of that yeah they're quick little watches probably about a little 20

to less than 20 minute episodes I think like six episodes so it was a quick watch It's basically like little short films Is this streaming or where can you find it? This is on, it's neither on, I get AMC Plus through Prime So I can't remember if it was through AMC Plus or through Prime So AMC Plus

I had to pull it up All right So it goes pretty quick, huh? Yeah, it's like probably Last as long as a regular movie runtime probably less okay Pedro mentioned

a found footage movie he wanted to check out last episode called Dream Eater produced by Eli Roth oh that's right my man Eli checked it out it's basic

found footage okay this guy suffers from sleepwalking psychosis or something I forgot what the proper term for it was and him and his girlfriend go to like a cabin to like get away from things and his therapist recommended

that they filmed everything his like when he goes to sleep and the girlfriend wakes up and he's like talking to somebody and doing things walking around and it's got a supernatural edge element to it but just kind of felt like something

I've already seen before. I mean, it was shot well and acted well, but it just, the basic premise was, felt familiar and done before. Okay. Well. Was it, would you say it was kind of like back to basics found footage? Or was it like, did it have any different type of angle to it?

Yeah, but it did that thing because at times I was just like, why do you still have the camera? I mean, when the camera's mounted somewhere or on a tributtive, pod okay i buy it because you know he sleepwalks and the therapist wants you to you know take notes and video video him while he sleeps so that makes sense but when she's has the camera running around with it i'm just like fucking drop the camera and run yeah that is frustrating man yeah uh my next one is on screen box. It's a movie called Killer Rental

just came out last week. Basic premise is a group of people go to like an Airbnb out in the desert. They're hanging out partying. They want to watch a scary movie. There's a videotape

and a VCR they put into tape and it's the Airbnb they're standing in and they're watching a group of people. people basically get murdered by a killer. I like that concept a lot. I feel like I've seen a movie like that.

Yeah. That's a cool concept. This also felt familiar the way it played out. Oh, no. Okay. Well, shit. And from what I remember, a lot of the kills were kind of cutaway shots. Somebody was about to get stabbed and then it cut away.

Which may not. no sense because like they showed two dead bodies laying in the bed like in the very beginning the movie and the practical effects look great so i was like you know kind of sat up like okay this this might be good and then the the kills were just not up to par with what i thought it was going to be damn you had they had a good thing going why not just stick with that Yeah Stayed with Screenbox for my next one

I watched this one because I've seen websites We're talking about it It's Dutch's first Horror movie that was rated NC17 and it's called What is it called? Meat kills

Okay Basically this girl sneaks into a slaughter house and films the animals being mistreated and stuff like that inhumanely killed and tortured and she takes it to this kind of activist group that she's trying to be a part

of and they arrange like a thing where they're going to go protest and stop what they're doing and when they get to the slaughterhouse all the animals have been killed and they kind of get upset set and want to take revenge. Oh, no. Things kind of go left. Killer animal rights activists, huh?

Yeah. But like you said earlier, Lance, I think I'm getting jaded. I think I'm getting desensitized because I didn't see anything. I don't know how they do their movies and how the Dutch do their movies, but I didn't see anything that had to be NC17. Well, hell. it's a pretty decent movie though okay meat kills

yeah if there's two things I can't stand it's people who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch smoke in a pancake I got a screener for a documentary a Texas chainsaw masker documentary called Chain Reactions

okay Oh, I think I saw you post that. Yeah, I recommend this one if you're a fan of the movie. Chain reactions, okay. It's got people like Stephen King, Tukashi Miquet, Karen Kusma, like a lot of filmmakers on there, like, talking about, you know, what the movie meant to them and how they felt when they first started watching it. Pat and Oswald, the comedian.

Oh, nice. Okay. People talking about his reaction to first watching it and what the movie meant to him. Of course, Stephen King, you know, gets deep into his own background. It's like, the first horror movie I watched was Bambi. I think I've heard him say that before.

That would be some shitty say. Yeah. Yeah, so that was a pretty good one, too. If you like documentaries, you like Texas Chainsaw. but I guess my cool of the week will have to be Keeper I got to watch Keeper All right, all right, welcome to the club I'm not going to spoil anything

I did like it I still think Long Legs and The Monkey is a better movie than Keeper But Keeper is definitely better than The Black Coats daughter And his other ones Yeah I did have to do like a deep dive and find like a YouTube video to explain some things.

I didn't quite understand what was going on. I can understand that. Yeah, I get it. But I did find a video. It kind of broke it down. And I was just kind of like, okay, that makes a lot of sense. Like the title keeper kind of relates to a bunch of different things. Yeah.

He's a little bit vague in his filmmaking. Yeah. And the review, Lance. Mm-hmm. the thing look pretty fucking cool looking yeah that's very trippy that was a combination of things

if I'm trying to be not spoiler you're trying to be as vague you're trying to be as vague as our man is huh yeah so yeah I don't know if it'll be in my top ten I do want to watch it again after watching that video to see if

it makes a lot more sense the second time watching it yeah sure man she did Tatyana Maslani did a good job and uh other Sutherland brother i don't know his first right he was creepy at times because i knew there was just something up with his character the whole time something was off right yeah too too nice right too easy to get along with yeah it was just like just too perfect of a situation and then he kept leaving her at the cabin alone

I was like there's something well I'm about to start spoiling it there was something definitely going on with him got to check it out man yeah yeah it's it's up there for me for sure and that's it's all I got all right so uh i guess that's about it right we're going to skip i think we're going to skip most of our segments tonight but oh we do have a podcast uh shout out so let's see oh i love this name man

plastic fangs fangs you guys remember those when you were kids dressed up as dracula plastic fangs podcast your host ramsie and rodney present a cornucopia of talk spanning pop culture movies VHS, drive-in theaters, and love of all things horror. So, yeah, I'm in, man. I'm going to give this a listen. Just from the name, they got me for a couple of downloads for sure. So I'll check it out. Phil, you want to take over, man? Yeah, so I guess that's it for releasing her feedback.

We got Steve Carlton from the Geeks with all our logos and T-shirt designs and stuff. Original skull artwork from Natsulani. please consider becoming a Patreon patron. We'll let you put the movies for a future show with any amount. And for $5 or more a month, you also get to watch us do this again for a non-commentary.

There you go. With you. Yeah. And now is the time to pick up some T-shirts if you haven't picked up any because I believe T-Public has Black Friday sale that just started. Black Friday, www.Haworrorterms.com. Check it out. There you go. All right. Our commentary is

for the last Thanksgiving. Oh, oh, oh, hold on, hold on, hold on. Before we go on, sir, sorry to interrupt, Philip, but tell us a little bit about our YouTube channel, because we've added a link to our website finally for that, and we're rolling a lot of stuff out there. What are we doing? We're doing that every week, Phil. We're doing it every week.

I'll try to put this one up on YouTube. We'll see if it stays, but it might get copyrighted, so, but the normal shows are up there. yeah like and subscribe and all that stuff very nice check us out all right uh so we're going to do the commentary for the last Thanksgiving from 2020 so not an old movie a family of cannibalistic pilgrims attack a restaurant that stays open for Thanksgiving fantastic clean I like it as happens director and writer is Eric Laurent also known for I Am the Devil

Hmm I can't remember if I've seen that That sounds familiar but that also sounds like the title For 10 other movies Yeah The cast and crew were mainly undergrad students At the University of Miami and Miami locals We just got some dudes off the street

Florida man Florida man I can relate All right let me see if I can't share my screen and we'll make this happen. See if that works. So far, so good. The last Thanksgiving. All right, and we're starting about now,

if you want to follow along. About now-ish. Loading, there it is. Check our audio settings here. A Peak Jerry Productions. Okay. Classic production company. Yeah.

I like the font. Yeah, it's got like a kind of old school. Yeah, definitely throwback. Welcome to Terra Pass Established 1988 182 Okay

Very Very Stranger Things-esque music Yes Definitely Speaking to which Does that premiere tomorrow or Thursday Do you know?

Tomorrow Yeah All right that's what my granddaughter was saying she's going to stay up all night for I hope it posted midnight so she's not disappointed Linnea Quigley got some crad here are they dropping it all at once or is it just one episode at a time oh you said they were breaking it up into like two parts or

something right yeah I think four or five episodes tomorrow oh okay shit's line are these real names brand what did it say gabriel spamiato something like that a spam a needle your daughter's gonna be like your daughter's gonna be like for work oh god that's our new puppy's name lisa marie is our new puppy's name oh nice lisa maria we get that's it take me jesus i'm ready you guys hear it okay yeah okay okay

Lisa Marie! Hey! Oh! There you are. Aren't you going to be like for work? Don't avoid the issue at hand. What time period is this supposed to be in? Oh, yes, I can't.

Is it modern day? It's kind of hard to tell. Yeah. Which in Florida is kind of normal, Philip. Yeah. Our house is from the same. Our house is from the same. 70s. You still haven't visited, by the way.

Nor are you, Brian. Yeah, I have to take it up there. Brian, you got to fly all the way from Alaska to Florida to visit. Come on. Yeah, I've got to take my mush team, dog mush teens to the airport. That's right. You have to learn to grow up when I was young. Oh, ew, stop. I'll go. I made the double eggs.

I did. They taste iffy. Got it. Ify. Evil. Honey. Devil dags are fantastic. If he doesn't sound bad.

Hard to make a bad devil dig. needs thanksgiving it he's definitely gonna get eaten you think okay it's a key to soul so I assume it's at least half-ass modern day okay that Lisa Marie is a menace to the neighborhood oh she seems like it back so I can change then we'll be late Well, they got the fancy house in the Florida neighborhood. That must have been one of those people off the street they got. Sure. Blending up people?

What the... What the? me it just needed a little flavoring what adding blood to his sandwich ah uh okay that's good he looks like will forte a little bit poor man's will forte Torture. Oh, that must be their meat locker, huh? Me, Cordelia. I made lunch.

I wish you wouldn't wear that for me. I have such a handsome little brother. Oh boy. I wish you weren't afraid of me. is this our leather face yeah with Robert Robert Smith hairdo dude and a couple of dolls old-time dolls up there I guess I'll leave it here then okay okay Derry's happy Thanksgiving Welcome to Derry

Oh boy Did it say they were cannibal pilgrims? Yeah, it didn't really look like pilgrims to me their descendants Phant Fish and Grits Why don't you go watch the craft of the 50th time you gargantu imposer Why don't you eat me malnourish info? That might be a better movie

I'm already not feeling sorry for anybody that's gonna get it in this movie Not really. Not really. Oh, go, God. Oh no. No. Aye, aye. It worked at the movie theater. Oh, the restaurant. God, she needs trash you.

Hey. You okay, friend? the Miami Herald up there you'll see that they went all out on the thanksgiving decor didn't they oh they did they can make the hands oh those supposed to be I thought they're supposed to be like turkeys I think so I thought they're supposed to be like turkeys I think so raised half smile thing the rock does all the time well Brian I know you said we were running low on Thanksgiving movies but this it feels like leftovers remember

everybody called me shardy McTabernacle for a year and a half I don't think that's something you tell people I don't think I'd advertise that no way Jerry's good name no he always misses everything up I can handle things around here. It's not like I have anybody waiting for me. Definitely a lot of locals in here, right? Mm-hmm. She can handle everything.

There's no customers. They're just making sandwiches? I don't even take that long to make a sandwich at home. I love you. I love you, too. What kind of sandwich did you make me? BLT. You?

BLT. They made sandwiches next to each other and they didn't know what each other was making. That is kind of weird, huh? You're on the same grill, guys. What happened to your face? Who's the Comquot? This Comquot is my father, and if you're going to smoke, please do it behind the restaurant. You're scaring away potential customers.

Mr. Pearl, I need to talk to you for a second. Loves for a freak. Hey, Mr. Pearl's dad. That was my father's name. I'm Mr. Pearl Senior. Wah, wwa, wwa.

Thank you. Well, I guess you can go ahead and have one too. Please ignore it. What do you two want? I can't work here today. And if you make me, I will burn this place to the ground. Oh, I'd get in on that.

No, no, no. Stop. Okay, you two out of the office. Well, that happens in Florida. Every other weekend, I burn a restaurant to the ground. See what I have to deal with here? Yeah, they'll be all right. Listen, we just do what you think is best.

After all, it's your business now. I know, but... This guy looks like a fatter of Ryan Reynolds. I was thinking the same thing. He looks like somebody. I couldn't put my finger on it. Like in Just Friends. That's right.

Yes, yes. Fant Reynolds. Underrated movie. gearing up I haven't seen that movie in a while mm-hmm it's a good Christmas movie is it is it Christmas mr or brother yeah don't come in the front door when you get back everything's gonna be ready the white van that's how you know it's bad acting the over express of face.

That's right. Although I think this restaurant, I think I was reading it's in Hollywood, Florida, which is literally about 30 miles from my house here. So we could probably get the director on the show. Oh, I bet we could.

Are you kidding? Don't smoke in front of the restaurant. Smoke inside the restaurant. never trust a skinny cook so mr. pearl's gonna call a staff meeting today does that say all whites party on that poster back there okay something weird's going on here you're not 21 what I don't think so are we just gonna brush past that he just like barked or yelled at her I know

kind of random they're like oh you don't know don't don't need to tell me that oh thanks somebody kill her already don't don't worry brian it's coming i think i'll be okay where this movie will probably go this is our final girl Just just your luck, huh? Chalice.

Chalz. Make my clit, you psychotic, cut! Wow, okay. A little aggression here. I'll just deflect. Did she even say anything to her? Just sitting there reading or whatever, playing on her phone? What is she doing?

I think she said as is. She said as if or something. Hi, Eddie. Oh, hey, Tyler, what's up? Nothing much. And you? Actually, there's something I've been meaning to ask you. That's perfect, because I have to tell you something, too.

Really? So, I've never told anyone this before, and I really need to get it off my chest. Yeah. And you're like the nicest person here, so I feel I can trust you. Yeah, of course, sure. Okay.

i'm a little bit psychic what it's just something i've always had to live with okay so like what is happening that's a great question brian flashes okay let me prove it baby let me think A strange dude. I think Mr. I think Mr. Perl is about to call a meeting. Well, that... Okay. Well, anyways, I thought I'd just go ahead and ask you.

Can I get everyone here for a meeting? Do we calls. Did he know that was coming? He's just messing with a guy or what? I don't know. I don't know what's going on. He did his second face. He made his eyes roll back.

Great special effects, huh? Oh, good. Then I can fix my husband's dinner. Unless you need us here. I thought right now would be a good time to tidy everything up. And you guys are like a second family to me. I know that we don't always get the chance. I'll spend time together, so I thought we could do a photo.

Fat Reynolds. It is Thanksgiving after all. So. You can see the words on his T-shirt, dude. has he got a t-shirt on under his work shirt yeah that's he got a t-shirt on under his work shirt that's one way to attract customers I bet she's gonna get awesome service Hey there. You awake?

It's Thanksgiving. So I just wanted to say, happy one year anniversary. You never know how these things are going to go. Is this the same one that put the blood on the sandwich? Yeah, I think so. You're a really great listener. Not, but there's much else you can do.

So that is their meat locker, right? That's where they keep their victims, their cattle or whatever. Things used to be a lot lately. Thanks, so. We used to only kill a couple people a year because pretty much

everybody celebrated Thanksgiving. Now people just don't care and it's getting really repetitious. So there's a message. Our plan's been done to death. Maggie knocks on the door, says that her vans broken down off the road and needs a phone. Eventually there's a chase. Trip shows up and what happens happens.

Leather face. Oh, boy. Well. yes the knives with the goes into the blade yes the knives with the goes into the blade yes like man that looks like a cheesy retractable plastic knife and you were right it is do you smoke Carol you will in a second that was a pretty good line I just I wish we were seeing some progress I mean I guess the one killer does have a

pilgrim's hat right aren't you supposed to be working the counter I figured I come back here and see if you guys needed any help well he's psychic he should have known that they need to help or not that's great point you guys open yeah yeah I'm actually looking for a job oh well then the manager's office is right over there thanks do these people not realize that if they chase every potential customer off by being rude that they wouldn't get a paycheck Come in. I hope this is a good time.

Uh, what's happening? Uh, How about who are you? Not Will Forte and not Fat Reynolds. I mentioned something about you being open on Thanksgiving. Yeah, uh, business is business, right? Right. Mr. Pearl, Trudy can cover my table, so can I please go?

Lisa Marie, just the person I was looking for. This man, Kurt. Kurt. Kurt is interested in a job and he's to shadow someone. So could you take him to one of your tables and show him how it's done? Is it just me? He's going to get a job here? I was going to say, is it just me or there are more employees in this restaurant than customers in a year?

Yeah, you could have sent quite a few people home. Yeah, right. And he's hiring this guy that he doesn't know, doesn't have any references or background that just walk. in straight through the back of the kitchen. Linnea quickly. Hi. Your order's almost ready. Oh, is that who that is? Okay.

I was thinking of changing my order from the turkey to a salad. But your turkey's almost ready. The cooks would crucify me. But I'm a vegetarian. So she ordered a turkey. Mr. Pearl told me to take up the trash maybe she thought it was veggie turkey. I don't know is that Obama in the background in the picture? I didn't see. Oh man. Come down. Where's the rest of your party? I'm alone? What do you need? So Brian, two episodes in to plural

of us, huh? Yeah. Does it make sense? You said it was kind of science-y. Like, is it just out there, or is it like alternate universe? How would you describe it? If I described it to you, I would be spoiling things. Okay, fair enough.

Like three-body problem, science-y? I never watched that. Oh, that one's cool. The salad. I think they're doing another season of that one I don't know what else to tell you you want this no thanks have a big dinner later

See a pilgrim Is he? Probably Pilgrim's progress We're on our way now They burnt all of me Yeah that's right Seems a little well done

I can see you soon they heard him off the street Brian Brian you said he walked through the back room I didn't ask if he had any experience at anything Right like what his name was

Oh boy Actually I'm gonna need to sleep on it Well that's fine Do you want anything before you go? we can whip you up something in the kitchen not more than mood for seafood a whisk what are you what are you going to do it was pretty inept killer isn't it i was going to say didn't he pick up a whisk what is he going in there with that point of view well it's original yeah that didn't look very real beans

it is full of brand chili and beans it's not even red at least we're getting some practicals it just looked like beans There is no need from the slow motion shot It's like an 80s music video Okay, these scenes are not filmed in Florida FYI We don't have those kind of trees in Florida. I was hoping one of you ladies would show me around the walk-in.

Fine, I guess I'll do it. Excellent. Death of Stalin. Okay. The last suit? They just randomly arranged letters to make words or what? She just walked into this theater Can you just work in the business in this table?

It seems that way It seems that way Hey girl What are you doing spending your Thanksgiving here with me I want to see you Oh That's a good thing Looks like you just got back from

The frat house or something Mm-hmm Is that what that means? Hey, bud. Let's party. Oh, what? I want to hear some, MJ. I was going to play some Thanksgiving music.

Okay, like. Thanksgiving music. No, the only one that I can remember is over the river and through the woods. Over the river and through the woods. Oh, that's right. That's right. That's the only Thanksgiving song, I think of it. It's a good one.

What are those posters people in the town that are missing? I assume. Oh, maybe. Hippacritical Appropriation Fest. He is the queen. Cool it, Trudy. Appropriation. White men just love patting themselves on the back because they share a meal with the minority

whilst ignoring the rape and murder that follows. When are the pilgrims coming? Yeah. Let's murder these people and put me up. out of my misery. I am confused on the one that went to that lady's house and just burnt that lady to nothing. I know. That what he's followed looks like she had some meat on the bone.

oh boy you got a slow cook that render the fat down yeah yeah the young people have played music and I watched them how you and I grew up in the 80s I thought you I have to throw you around later

you see they can put on some chug berry I love chugberry I don't think Jake Barry was from the 80s. Waits. Can we rain check till after I get off work? It's an empty theater. Are you at work? Why are these places open?

That's kind of what I was wondering. Looks like the zombie apocalypse. But you know, maybe now's a good time to run you through my new script. He must have written this one. Is this the director? Probably. I think that's a safe bet, Brian. Santa Claus Concretions isn't much of my thanksgiving only the director would pick the most

unlikeable person I've ever seen in my life it's gonna be the final girl come so anyway so my movie idea it's kind of like a future she's all that meets sleep well yeah he is in the movie but that's not him get Gary Busey okay well it'll be later in my career when I have some clout right so okay when I have some cloud please some real a little bit of support might go a long way here maybe drop the mean act once in a while yeah stop being a bitch yeah there you go

Yeah, I wonder why she doesn't get along with anybody. Yeah, that seems to be an ongoing thing. And unfortunately, Brian, that do you seem to be showing her the most, which normally happens with the final girl in these movies. Hey, Dad. Can you pick me up? The last suit. You pick me up.

You're still working. No, no, Dad. They didn't close the restaurant. The last suit. Die. Yeah, maybe it's time to close up and go home, guys. Yeah, this is bad business. I'm sure they're getting paid by the hour to do this.

I forgot they do have one customer. Right. It's like a very bland salad. She got a bowl of lettuce. Yeah. Wait. Wait. She called her dad to come pick her up.

she drive there did she I I didn't notice that there's the white van though because didn't she pull out the driveway almost hit that car oh yeah oh shit god damn it brian well now the logic work yeah well as if it did up to this point philip Oh, he's in a wheelchair. You look like you can use a smoke. No kidding. Oh boy. You know, these things will really cut into your life.

How long is this movie again? I die. This one will stop wanting to kill this up. God damn. I guess it's like an hour and 20. So, Brian, is it just because we went from an Oz Perkins movie to now this, that this seems so bad, or is there, or is it just because we're, or is it just bad? Oh, we're leaning towards this. It's just bad.

Low budget. I'll give them a little bit of credit. But, like, I kind of want them all to die. Yeah, I'm not sure who I'm supposed to be rooting for here. I have a feeling things that are going to start going fast here. Okay. I mean, she saw that coming. And there's the Pilgrim. Oh, he's strong.

At least it's practical. I'm kidding. Human hands. Right. I was a sister. Krispy. I did a whole smoking thing. i just did a smoking thing too and the manager inside i got him in the eye to this whole seafood

great stuff the jammers right the jammers huh oh to jammed cell phones oh okay i guess that makes sense god damn it another customer and nobody staff and nobody's deaf dancing right Who is my Who is this? This is my sister, Maggie. Well, Maggie, nice to meet you. Are you leaving? Soon.

Mrs. Kim, is it? Yes, it is. Why aren't you with your family? Well, I guess I lost track of time. I'm sorry. For what? This is Kim? At least it's not beans and chili, Philip.

Where are you going? I have to carve my turkey. I think Quake gets a job done like a knife. Slow. Oh no, somebody called me, goddammit! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh boy. Uh-oh. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

He'll see like he should be doing all the killing. I'm here. He's a guy. Yeah. That's right. What the fuck's happening? Uh, Lanaya Quigley is gonna be the final girl because she locked herself in the freezer.

I can go with that. All right. They can't get out. If they do, trips ready. Watch the front door. I'm gonna do a sweep. Starting with a handicapped guy. He's not going anywhere.

Ha, ha, ha, okay. Oh, boy. you have no service in the bathroom or something the jammers oh yeah that's right i forgot about their attack right yeah he's just got verizon oh yeah that could be the case number one or number two whatever you're doing you're wrong let's see what's behind lucky door number one One of them opens forward, and the other one opens backward.

We'll keep fighting. There's only two of them and one is a girl. I know. He's kind of a big guy. There's nobody behind me. Now you guys are stuck in the kitchen. the kitchen you stop him can't let the other two out where is she here here somewhere so we have left you're not in here are you Lisa Marie pick name by the way he's already in the kitchen

leave these kids alone you don't scare me scumbag I killed my share of men for this country. So killing YouTube dipshits for this restaurant's going to be grass. It's going to be grass. Who does he remind me of? The jump to conclusions guy. Yeah. At least somebody's fighting back, right?

Oh, he's got their military training. Yeah. She made that look way harder than it should have been. Right. Did he just put that broom through her? I think so. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. There you go.

You got one of them. Right. That was kind of funny. Yeah, that was pretty awesome. I'm not mad at that one. You fucking cuts! Can't he just, like, open the door, and then climb over the little freezer? Probably.

Looks like one of those doors that swings both ways. Yeah. Of course, the one time I decided to leave the house, I walk into the most dangerous game. And I don't even get to be. Faye Ray. Sorry. What's your name again? It's Paulette.

Oh, that's pretty. You don't ever leave your house, Paulette? I don't really have a reason to. I go get groceries, and I go to the bank. Well, you're slicing that tomato a while looking. Hold on. Come back. What are they doing?

They're making food, huh? Because they've got a killer out there. Slice and tomatoes for. Hello. I heard you. What? I'm not supposed to be here. When I was a kid, my grandpa got really sick.

And I was alone with him when he died. And he soon had shaken and gasping, and he just reached his hand out to touch me. But I couldn't hold him. Because he wasn't my grandpa. What? Just weight, and he got, his skin was all gray, and he just looked like a skeleton wrapped in loose skin. Hmm.

So what'd I have to do with your boss? I loved you so much. And I abandoned him. And that's why I'm such a bitch to everybody all the time. I guess it could explain it. I just died trying to save my life, and I didn't do anything, and I really didn't think I was going to have to feel this way again. to feel his way again i'm sorry about all that i need you to move past all this right now because we need you all i'm good at is being a nasty bitch don't you ever call yourself

that being strong does it make you i don't know plenty of people call her that you know, all this energy and you have upon a good outlet for it. And maybe you're a fighter. You just never had anything to fight. You know it would make this movie better. What's that?

They replaced the cast with the cast from the bear. It would definitely be different. It would definitely be it's going to be Jamie Lee Curtis, Brian. Linnea, Wigley, I guess. Oh, you get Jamie Lee Curtis.

Okay. They would have at least had a conversation about the tomato chopping. Yeah, that's true. What are you topping tomatoes for? Yeah. Yeah. Uh-oh. You got her.

Just leave her. Oh, boy. Why is he still there? Oh, no. Please don't leave me like this. I won't. Try to stop moving. Oh, why is she on the ground?

These people have no survival instincts at all. She runs up to the white van. Oh, boy. Oh, man, no. She weighs 30 pounds. Soken wet. Oh. That's not fun.

It's right in the hoo-how. It does remind me of the Cowboys game. Does it get hit right in the hoo-huh? George Perkins, or George Pickens got tackled by his wiener. Oh, boy.

He like stopped in the middle of a play and I was like, man, it looks like he could have broke that tackle and kept going, but he just sort of stopped. And then they showed him on the sidelines, like leaning over. And I was like, man, he looks like he just got hitting the nuts. Oh, man. Showed the replay and the guy, back of him and just grabbed a handful of junk

and pulled him down that was kind of cool he's a dishwasher he's still working on that damn net yeah he'll be there an hour I'll come back for hell shit's gonna be dead Later,

Oh, boy. Did he kill Lisa Marie? I don't know. He's choking her. Why is he after her? Why is anything going on? That's a great question. Oh, he got a fast and furious car.

All right, I'm Brian Rough horror movie running Right Brian I see a I see a Thanksgiving movie here It's called Alien Abduction

Incident and Lake County Couldn't be any worse than this, right? It's like an old school movie 1998 Before the Blair Witch Project looks like it was found found footage alien abduction found footage at Thanksgiving okay I don't know just maybe for thought for next year

yeah half part of these jammers stretch no Jammers stretch. No kidding. Is the whole town out? Is there anybody else in the town? I don't think so. Did they film in a deserted town? I think they must have, man. The last suit is still showing, though.

She's going to get her boyfriend killed. Is this the last suit? I don't know. it looks like it the last bear suit Philip when you put this up on YouTube instead of getting sued

they're going to send us money it makes for watching it she ran everywhere that he wouldn't be in the theater oh boy why would he be hanging out behind the screen yep yep yep you were right right brian she got him killed another movie another movie theater scene and dairy i know i was just thinking the same thing if only right if only they'd all show up in there So I guess you're not psychic, huh?

What? You said you were psychic? But I feel like if you were, you would have said something about our co-worker being murdered today. I'm-I'm sorry. I don't worry about it. Oh no. What is it? He's coming.

What are they watching? The last suit. Oh, I bet this is Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. Okay. Definitely a public domain movie, right? Hey, boys. Nice night for a drive, huh? Leave us a minute.

Come on. What? What? Oh, my God. I don't know. Maybe you wanted to, like, drive faster than the speed limit to get away from the murderer. Right. Like a gas bomb in there that put him to sleep

They have great tech, don't they? Tyler Why did it only put the driver to see? Hey, where you're going? That's right to sleep. I'm taking you a new home now. Night night, buttercup. It just took a while, huh?

I guess so. All right, is that the end? We want to thank you guys for listening to another... Oh, shit. Damn it. You're awake. Welcome to our Thanksgiving celebration. Where's Tyler?

We got loose and thinks he can escape. Tripp's not going to let that happen. Anyways. It goes without saying that none of you will ever be seeing your families again. I don't know if we've ever seen this movie again One last opportunity to tell them How thankful you are for them This is all because we work with our families on Thanksgiving

You mean you're gonna let us call out Don't mistake this for trust Giving a thanks is a tradition And if any of you say that you're in trouble Or start a text My brother will shoot you in my heart what are they doing now explain this scene to me guys they're letting them call somebody why why not because you're not very good criminals

in this movie maybe we haven't been paying everything else in this movie maybe we haven't been paying attention, maybe this is a psychological horror. It's definitely not elevated. They've had some interesting kills, at least. Yeah, but they're chilling. I'm sorry, things

got out of hand, but I need you to answer. It's kind of funny. That guy's head split in half, that was pretty cool. Yeah, it was, it was. I need to answer. I just need to hear your voice with us. Why let her call if they're going to just take the phone away? And what's up with a jammer?

I thought there was a jammer in effect here. Well, they've got them all captured now. They de-jammed it, huh? And since there's no one else that lives in this town. Right? Good point. Spookapalooza. Are those of you just now joining us?

That the restaurant manager? Is it? It could be. Oh, this is the director. That's okay, okay. I get it. I get it. She does this every other time we get into it.

She'll be back in a day or two. Dad said, I don't know, fucker. We got some pieces quiet. Right. More turkey for me. Are you sure you're all right? You're not usually so complimentary. Very funny.

Just... She just hung up on me. That's one. You're up, Lacey. This guy looks like, this guy screams douchebag, doesn't he? The killer dude? Yeah. Yeah.

Dad. I did like the line about, uh, hey, I did a smoking thing, too. Yeah, yeah, that was, that was clever. That was clever. Okay. Hey, okay. Kurt, can you get Ms. Perez? He's gonna come back as a Thanksgiving zombie.

Lisa Marie. You think so? Yes. It would make sense. Thanksgiving Day cooking. Look at that face. It's fucking pissed off at everything. Jesus Christ.

We don't need a lot of prep time. The key is separating the pieces beforehand. Paul's privates. Is that what it said? I'm going to eat some Rocky Mountain oysters. No, Tripp is outside burying her. Family isn't. I was thinking if you're going to like butcher them and eat them.

Yeah? Like this method of killing seems. Not very efficient. Not very efficient. A good long while ago. At this point, there's nothing more American. You're slicing up the meat. Are we going to get the backstory now?

Are you assuming there is a backstory? Yeah, that's giving it a lot of credit, isn't it? Ha ha ha ha. Oh, psychic. You forgot. Right. Hey, at least somebody's smart in this movie. What?

Well. What? They knew he knew he was. What? What? They knew he was going to fall right there, or what? Yeah, I was thinking maybe because he fell down, he would miss the trap. Table's all set.

I guess they're ready. Good. Tell Tripp that dinner will be ready in an hour. Sure. Got up? Too much power, you know? This group? Uh-oh.

You sure? I can hold it. The McGuffin. An hour? You got a pile of bloody bodies. I guess they're going to eat it raw. Are you too fucking? Gross.

I mean, he is yummy. He is yummy though, isn't he? What? Oh, well. I think I have something you might like the taste of. A Thanksgiving turkey. Have you ever seen anything so beautiful? Buddy?

But this turkey's not gonna fit in the oven as is. No, no, wait, please. Let's begin. Please, please, wait, please, please. Ah! Oh, God! Buddy! Let's cut up thirks.

I don't think that was supposed to happen. Brian, she flinched before the blood hit her. Do you see that? Yeah. All right, everybody. Turkey's ready. I already ate. All right.

Off the table. Every year. How can you possibly expect us to eat our friend? If you don't, we can move right along to pick in the closet or the pit. The pit? What's the pit? The gravy pit. What's the gravy pit? Oh, it's a pit of gravy.

It's not actually. It just starts to look like gravy after it sits for a while. This is all very excessive. Why don't you just have a normal fucking Thanksgiving? We are. very excessive you're killing and eating people I assume that's blood in the in the wine glasses we do it for her think so yeah which seems like you know you're killing and eating the people I get it but are you really gonna drink the blood

are you a vampire because in 1620 that seems gross oh backstory they are very winter half of you died the remaining pilgrims sold their souls they are very they're not very careful with their weapons let's put it that way their bounty flourished and in late November pilgrims had a celebration why would she have any silverware the first good point today is very important to us what does that have to do with eating people our abigail organized the whole thing and even did of the cooking and the Indians arrived on invited they brought a couple of deer but wasn't

nearly enough to feed everybody after three days so Abigail got created she ought to feed them as a main course and nobody was any of the wiser because or with these slow motion shot I don't have any fucking idea I mean oh my god hmm and if they thought us off was that scenes from another war maybe this guy did maybe or something like that look like Eli Ross Thanksgiving trailer a little bit whenever we'd find anybody not showing the proper respect to our holiday we'd make sure they celebrate whether they liked it or not and that's how things have gone

for 400 years that did not happen oh but 400 years three yes what happened what happened to those robes on your hand hmm you're gonna try and hop away like your little friend Eddie I guess we can't trust you why I think I might hear a a dog in the hallway let's see killer let you out hey what am I looking at what I'm looking at I don't know what I keep doing like also cutaway shots Please don't. Are they making out?

We'll get out of here, okay? This guy. Thank you as a previous victim they were keeping. Yeah, they were leaving the bowl of food at the door, right? Oh, okay. But he looked like he had no jaw. Well, maybe they already ate that. Yeah, they showed a close-up for something slimy and red.

I was really sure what it was. It looked like he'd have a real hard time eating anything. Oh, no. I don't like where this is going. Okay. The guy who fell into the trap, right? Is he dead? I don't know.

See, that's not so bad. He's playing possum. Jesus, sir. Oh, it's like somebody had a good time. Tyler, what do they do to you? Go ahead, Trap. You know, somebody's gonna go in the closet, right? No, somebody's gonna get thrown in the gravy pit, right?

I would hope so. God damn it. Kill him. Kill him. Is this guy's sister not going to do anything? I guess not. Oh, the killer's going to go on the gravy pit, right? I can't tell everything's so close up.

I know. It's so hard to tell what's going on here. And like y'all said at the beginning, it's like, who are we supposed to root for? Stick his hand down his throat and yank out guts. Don't you dare? This guy does have superhuman powers. Where is the sister? What the fuck is happening? What are you don't?

What did you do with the knife you just had? What happened to the blonde hair, the short blonde hair sister? I was just wondering that. Oh, she got a long time ago. Oh, did she? Okay. Yeah, she got stabbed with a broom. Oh, that's right. That's right.

Sorry, I blacked out for a second. But you didn't care. You don't care about values or family. What do you care about? You know, you already had a knife knife. What happened to that? She laid it down, I guess. It's Thanksgiving movie. You gotta do the turkey car. All right. You're all right.

Come on outside. Come on. That was a long chord. It wasn't, she pulled that off the thing, it wasn't plugged in. Oh, it's a plug-in knife. Yeah. Is that the guy that was in the trap? Didn't he just get guts yanked out of his throat? I think so.

I think that was the guy in the closet with the other girl. Oh, okay. Did he go on the gravy pit? It looks like mud this time. Does grandpa from Texas chainsaw? That's not to see. This is not a joke. What's not a joke?

The movie? They're getting away. No, they're not. Uh-oh. Where'd she get that? Final girl. It was in the drawer, remember? They said, let's just go leave this gun in the drawer over here,

and tell everyone we're relieving it and leave the room. Grandpa. What are you doing? She doesn't know how to turn off the safety. throw it down oh man like stop cocking it i don't think this isn't a comedy for the reason they thought it was a comedy there we go happy happy happy thank you Thanksgiving. That was a weak line.

Yeah. Very weak. It was something funny. I know. I was like, where's he going with that? It better be something good. There was a big pause. What are we going to do with her?

She already shoot her? I have an idea. Gravy pit. Oh, Evan. Because that whole woman fit in that oven Sure, sure I think I need an ambulance Me too

Well you definitely do Is that them laughing or us? Looks like a washing machine That's what I was thinking too I'm going to end with a long shot of the oven. I think so. Oh, I thought it froze. Did it?

Okay. Long shot of the oven. Brian, right? You got some splain it to do, brother. I already explained myself in your doing. Okay, fair enough. All right. Well, on that note, now I can say it for real.

Abigail Brimston, age 419, the old lady was the original lady. Is that what it said? Yeah, I guess that's how she was kept alive by eating people. Okay, well, that was clever, right? Okay. Oh, boy. Are y'all going to add this to your annual Thanksgiving Day shenanigans? Oh, yeah, this is going to be on the rotation.

Every year. But we're done for this year. Yeah? Moving on, huh? All right. We want to thank you guys for listening to another episode of The Horror Returns. Find us at thehorrorverturns.com. And very importantly, check out our YouTube channel.

We're going to be doing some more things to promote that very soon. Go to our website. Go to our socials from there. check out YouTube check out the audio podcast next week thank God some quality cinema

I think Steve's back right Brian do I have my weeks right this time I don't know what we're doing I believe it's Critters 4

and Goolies 4 oh yeah if I'm not mistaken with that man Steve Carlton So I'm sure he's glad he missed this week. So what else to say, Philip, until the horror returns he can't. Good night.

You know,