The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #507: The Ruins (2008) & Whistle (2026)

Episode Date: February 13, 2026

The week we blow our whistle and check out some Mayan ruins. Cool of the week includes Luc Besson's Dracula, A Knight of the 7 Kingdoms, Marty Supreme, and The Strangers Part 3. Trailer is Obsession. We shine the podcast spotlight on It's Alive...Alive! And we get feedback from Steven Lowblad, Heath Watkins, Pragati Sanyal De, Kevin Ingle, Brandy Michelle, Mark Walsh, Nureldin Maslu, and Derek Rosenberg, and Dyk Diamond. Thanks for listening!       

Regings victims, for those of you who delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify gore, welcome. You have found the place where the horror returns. Listeners beware. This podcast contains major plot spoilers. and the foulest of language. Join us in celebrating the old and the new, the best, and the worst in horror. Welcome back, everyone, to the horror returns.

I'm Lance. As always, we have our faithful dudes, Menhook of the North himself. It's Brian. What's up, Brian? I don't know if I'm going to go with that nickname. name, but what's up? We'll take it.

In the red corner, it's fabulous Philly the Kid. How's it going, Phil? Not too bad, not too bad. I'm getting over a little thing. My voice sounds a little gravelly today, but we're doing all right. Add some text here to the podcast.

Yeah, why not? All right. Well, let's jump right in. I'm going to have an extended Cool Little Week. Spoiler alert. One more week. Oh, that's cool. Or Lance missing the main movie.

Oh. Yeah, because for Cool of the Week, I got nothing, man. It's more Final Fantasy again. That's about it. Holy shit. Three weeks in a row, Brian. Yeah, it's a long fucking game. And when I get it, I'm kind of obsessed with it.

And I try to get it all knocked out. But it's like a, I mean, I'm, you know a good 40 hours into it and that's the second game yeah still still plugging away at it yeah final fantasy i don't know where that came from what do you end to this week brian let's start with tv uh what is the knights of the seven the night of the seven kingdom yes is it picking up steve fuck i forgot about that i got to finish watching it I'm all in now with that nice episode four

awesome they actually got serious with it and moved the story along okay they did squeeze one fart joke in there I guess they have to per this series and this is the episode after

they find out who the kid is right yes okay cool yeah I need to watch that one so solid episode from what I understand it's the of the highest rated rated episodes out of the

Game of Thrones franchise oh wow nice nice I was wondering where they were going with it

I was like we got this little fucking bald kid and nobody's like right nobody knows who he is they didn't they didn't have

fucking chemo and oh 1400 why is he a little bald kid they get into all that yeah in the new episode

who he is who his family is consequences for his actions that kind of bleed over to Sir Duncan. Okay. Sir Duncan. Sir Duncan. Do they refer to them as Dunk and Egg in the series? Not really.

Oh, I guess so, actually. Because the kid's name is Egg, right? Yeah, but they haven't actually referred to him. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, the stories. I've read some of the stories, and that's, I don't know why they call them the dunk and egg stories for some reason. Maybe George R. Martin was hungry. I don't know. Because you'd call him bacon and eggs, I guess. Is this a George R. Martin thing? Or is this just people running with it. Oh, it is? Yeah, it is. Yeah, it's basically short stories that he's written that I think he was supposed to flesh out into a novel.

yet another one of his ideas that never got finished interesting hey you know what though pretty good life even if he's not yeah pleasing everybody else right let's see uh checked out iron lung yeah i saw that you were watching that on your facebook feed yeah this is uh from YouTuber Mark Markiplier I believe that's what he goes by completely independently funded

written directed I guess it's a video game adaptation I never heard of the video game Iron Lowe Oh really? No I didn't know that

like like the guy from the Big Lobowski in the Iron Lung Yeah nothing to do with that Boy, these Brian, these video games The writer of Gunsmoke

Jesus. These video game fanatics are insane with their movie adaptations, right? Like just a couple of weeks ago we reviewed a couple of movies that the dude like it was his life's ambition to make the second one, right? Oh, Silent Hill, yeah.

Yeah, that movie. Maybe Philip will end up doing a Final Fantasy movie. That's kind of what the game is anyway. It's just cut scenes. Anyway, sorry. Yeah. Iron Lung is basically about it takes place during this, I guess they call it like

the quiet rapture. Like everybody on planets have like disappeared. Only people that are left are like people that are on space stations and spaceships that weren't affected by. it. And Markiplier plays. He plays like the lead character who's like a convict. And to get his freedom, he like kind of volunteers for this mission where they put him in an iron lung.

Basically, it's like a submarine. And they lower him into this planet that's like mostly, it's not water. It's like blood or something. And he was one of the guys on the space station that's still around, I guess. Yeah, I guess there's a reason that explains why he's a convict. I was like, how the fuck is he a prisoner if everybody's gone? And he basically, they're trying to search for something and they're using him in this, what they call iron lung to help him find something, do research and stuff,

spooky stuff starts happening to him. And as happens when you get in our line. It gets to the point to where you don't know what's real or he doesn't know what's real or what's not real if he's hallucinating or he's actually made contact with something. Sounds good. It's very independent. It's very much a slow burn. But I do appreciate the hustle that went into it because like I said, it's completely independent. He even got it in theaters.

like himself with no distribution. Do they explain shit? They explain what's happening and what's going on, but there's still some open-ended things. I'm assuming, again, it's one

of those things if you play to get video game, you'd know. Oh, I got you. Yeah, I forgot video game. But apparently it was like number two the past couple weeks. What? That's insane for a little independent movie.

I think like 30 million. It's opening weekend and I guess it only cost them like three million to make it. That's hitting the jackpot right there, Philip. We can make a movie for three million. You think? Where are we going to get three million? I don't know where we get the three million, but we figure out. You know something I don't.

So I checked that out. Checked out the strangers. Chapter 3. Oh, all the questions are answered, yes? I guess, but I didn't care. Oh, no. That's my problem. And I kind of felt like maybe some of the questions didn't need to be answered.

It kind of took away from the lure of the strangers. That's true. You didn't really necessarily need a background behind the bad guys, because the whole point of it was that they did it because they had the opportunity. Yeah, so I don't even know if I'm even going to really watch this super cut of all three movies because I don't even know what really they can add to the story that would help it out. Man, that sounds like some fake-ass hype, dude. The whole releasing all three movies and some kind of super cut. Like, first of all, who asked for that?

Like, I get it. But who asked for it? And, like, it sounds like a punishment. more than home like a homework assignment yeah i mean what i will watch all of them i don't want to do that what i will watch that comes out next week on digital is uh-huh kill bill the whole bloody affair see now that sounds like it could be a fun saturday you know yeah is that uh brian is that is that going to get a theatrical run at all it already had one uh yeah i was going to say not here in Melbourne, Florida.

It was like one of those special two-day screens. That's a lot of time of sitting in a movie theater. True. Yeah, that's true. But it could be an event, right? Like a bunch of people show up in costumes and bare, dirty feet, Philip. Yeah, that's true. In honor of some weird stuff happening in the audience.

Yeah, please get called. It happens. And I guess my cool the week will have to go to Luke Besson's Dracula. No shit. Okay. Do tell. Do tell. Although that didn't sound super excited.

It's your basic Dracula movie. Okay. It's more, so I'm using the right word, romanticized. Then it's basically you take Bram Stoker's Dracula. with Gary Oldman and you kind of romanticize it more. Okay. And you got Luke Besson's Dracula.

Okay, so a lot of lush photography, a lot of soft colors, muted colors and stuff like that. Yeah, and it's more focus on his love for his wife that he lost before he became a vampire. and then his focus on finding her. Oh. And Caleb Landry Jones, I believe, is the actor. He did a decent job.

He definitely doesn't come close to Gary Oldman, but he had his moments where I was like, that was a little cool twist that you put on the character. But it is basically Bram Stoker's Dracula because even when he's the older version of Dracula, it looks like Gary Oldman's, older version. Who's thought the Gary Oldman thing was a little weird because of the hair.

Like a big... Oh, he's got the hair in this one. Yeah. Does he? The same do? Yeah, with the little buns. Yeah. And I will say the guy they got Jonathan Harker definitely did a way better job than

Keanu Reeves. He kept his British. I believe he was actually British. Well, that's... Kept his accent intact. Yeah. Okay. And they had one actress.

Dracula. She was like one of his like, what were they like the brides of Dracula? Sure. Oh, yeah, they always turned me on, man. I would have learned the old Monica book. I couldn't remember her name, the actress, but she was like super fun because she was just kind of hamming it up in her performance and it was super fun. Okay. Huh.

We're trying to guess who it was, Philip. He can't remember who it was. Was it Aquafina? No. Okay. Sandra Bullock? She's not a known actor. This is why I can't think of her name.

Ah, okay. But you, if you see her as Dracula's bride, that would be hilarious. Hey, stranger babies have been made. I'm here on a Sarucia. She would just do like little things in her performance, like when she would tell, like, they got her captured and they, she's telling one of the. the doctors to come closer and she's like clicking her teeth. Because they don't know she's a vampire.

She's clicking her teeth and, you know, she really wants to bite him. And she's just brought a lot of energy. Compared to a lot of like Dracula adaptations, because I feel like there's been a shitload like in the past, say, oh, I like this. One or two. I like this way more than Osferatu. Okay.

Yeah, because I, I, I actually, I know you weren't a big fan, but I thought Nassaranti was a pretty, pretty good adaptation. It was like a kind of dry and long. Right, right. A little boring maybe for me. Yeah, this one's. Lush, beautiful. This one sounds fun.

I may check it out. And Lance, there's a dance montage. I mean, it surprised me. They snuck one in there for us. It goes on for a good four or five minutes. What? Didn't have that. I'm a bingo card.

No. But it's kind of a different movie than if you've seen a lot of Luke Besson's movies, like the Fifth Element and other things like that. Oh, that's Luke Besson. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Oh, man, I'm really intrigued now.

And Christoph Waltz is in this movie. He's awesome. Who does he play? He's listed in the credits as just the priest. The priest. priest. But he's basically, what's his name? Anthony Hopkins character. Yeah, what's his name, Philip? Dracula's nemesis. There you go. Yeah, he's basically him, but they just kind of made him priest. I don't know if it's a book thing or not. Okay. Man, I'm sold on both of this one and Iron Lung. Maybe not the Strangers Three. No. Well, I think me and Ness are probably going to do a bonus episode.

There's a quick little thing on it. Cool. I'm going to tell you now that episode will probably be short. You think short and to the point. There's not much to the movie. Oh, boy. Well, we didn't really think it's going to be an epic ending, truly, right? I mean, I didn't get my hopes up.

And spoilers. Why the fuck was Richard Brick in this series? Oh, no. All right. I don't even know if I'm going to watch it then. I might protest it, man. Seriously. If that's the case, dude,

fucking not having Richard break be the main baddie that comes out at the end and, like, steals the last two-thirds of the movie. I'll tell you he don't care. He got a paycheck for it. Paycheck. Okay, fair enough. Fair enough. But that's what I got this week.

I'm not. All right. All right. so cool of the week. I'm going to run through a few things here because I'm not going to be able to, again, not be able to chime in on the new movie. Apologies, everyone,

but there was one showing at one of the three theaters in Melbourne, Florida, and it was always during the workday. So not making excuses, but make an excuse. Yeah, I only had one shown in that movie up here. Yeah. Except every day, it was like at 7 o'clock at night. So kind of more prime time.

huh? Yeah. This was like at 3.20 in the afternoon or something. Anyway, moving on. All right, cool of the week. I get some things I'll run through. I'll start with a book. Have you guys ever heard of the forgotten ruin series of books?

Nope. No idea. Oh, man. Fucking awesome, dude. I get a friend of mine that I worked with that turned me onto it. And he knows kind of like my taste in reading. and we have a lot of similar taste. And he said, try this out.

It's a nine-book series so far and counting, but I'm in the first book about halfway through. And all right, so it's in the, picture this. It's in the not too distant future. The world starts falling apart, yada, yada, yada, right? So the military comes up with this technology to catapult soldiers 10,000 years into the future to kind of like replant the American flag

and start things over again. It's a wild concept, right? There's no way this could work. It's like that crazy. Into the future? 10,000 years in the future. Okay. Okay, because they want to make sure that they're far enough out from all the destruction

and devastation, right? Oh, gotcha. And they are, but so it's basically, you follow this group of Army Rangers. The main character, his name is Talker, and he's a linguist, right? So he does all the translating. And so these Army Rangers show up like in the middle. middle of a fucking island in Europe, and all of a sudden they're attacked by orcs from the Lord of the Rings. That's the surviving species?

It's not. Dude, there's all sorts of species, and we have no idea how they all got here, but these are all like straight out of fantasy novels and sci-fi, right? So you've got orcs, you've got goblins, you've got vampires, pirates. It's like going to be a lot of world building. And there's nine books so far, and I'm halfway through the first one. And so far, shitload of action. So one thing the military does, right, because you had to have a Macuffin, right? Like, how are they going to be able to keep fighting and have their weaponry?

So it's far enough in the future. They've developed this secret thing the military was working on called The Forge. And they can, like, go and gather basic metals and stuff like that and create firearms and ammunition. and, you know, different types of things like that. So, so early in, I don't know where it's going to go from here, but I'm definitely intrigued. So it's called Forgotten Ruin. I'm in.

All right. Got into the, oh, Oscar Alert, Brian. And wait, what was that? That was a book series? Yeah, the first book, it's called Forgotten Ruin, and nine of them and counting so far. I like these long series. Okay.

But, yeah, Mandated. it's so exciting. Like there's a lot of action early on. So it's a super fast read. All right. Oscar update. I finally found a good Oscar movie besides the couple we talked about. I think we talked about sinners and, fuck, I can't pronounce it.

Bulgaria, Bulgaria. Bologna. Bologna. Okay. I found another good one, boys. I've never been so excited to see a sports movie about table table table. tennis. Oh, Marty Supreme. Marty Supreme. Have you guys

seen it? No. That's on my list. I like that kid. Yeah, Timothy Shalame. He's got some range, man. Yeah. No, he's growing on me. I like him, too. Yeah, and it's a totally different

character than he's ever played. But what I really love about it is it's directed by the Safty Brothers. So if you guys remember uncut gems, they did that. one and they did one called Good Time with Robert Pattinson in it. I think it's only directed by one. Oh, I think you're right.

I think Benny is somewhere in the credits. Is it Josh or? Yeah, the one that wasn't in Happy Gilmore, too, was the villain. Okay. Well, the other, spoiler alert, the other brother shows up in a cameo, right? No big surprise there. But no, dude, it's just, it's edge of your seat, tense, sports excitement, revolving around the game of table tennis.

The Chinese in particular take it very seriously. And they are very prominent in this movie. I figured. Okay. Oh, Hamnet. Hamnet alert, guys. It ain't a bad movie. It's actually pretty damn good.

And the photography in it is fucking amazing. Truthfully, the first two-thirds of the movie, it just felt like you were watching a horror movie. Like weird things happened, strange photography. It felt like a British folk horror movie through most of it. So I can't recommend it enough. Hamnet. Well, I can recommend.

It's not up there with the other three, but we're finally getting into some decent Oscar movies. I guess I had to get the boring shit out of the way. So which one would you pick so far? Of everything? That's not sinners. Of best, best picture. I mean, I really want Senors to win, but I don't know if they're going to be too snooty.

If you take Senators out, who is your... I guess Bagonia. Okay. Yeah, Marty's Supreme after that, and then Hamnet. And then the rest so far is all trash, as Ness would say. You think Senators actually has a shot? I kind of do, only because it was nominated for so many different awards. right?

I don't think it'll win Best Picture. I think it'll win a bunch of other awards. It doesn't seem like the type of movie to be nominated for Best Picture.

That's the problem, right? Therein lies the problem. Bologna doesn't really either. Not at all, right? It seems oddball for like Oscar stuff. I think it's going to be

that Leonardo DiCaprio movie which I have not seen. Okay. Well. Yeah, I just I quit on it because I just Like there's too much

Woke garbage and everything, dude. And this one I was like, You know what? I'm not fucking watching it. You didn't miss much. I mean, people love it. So there's probably something to it.

I just, it just wasn't for me, you know? Well, that's the case sometimes. I'm not really into, What's the director's name? I don't like him.

Yeah, I don't like. Yeah, the only one that was kind of good, I thought, was the one with the oil drilling. I drink your milkshake. Help me out here, guys. Oh, there will be blood. There will be blood. Yeah, you guys hear, uh, I don't know if I saw that. What's his name, hates Paul Dano from that movie,

Quentin Tarantino. He went on a thing because he hates Paul Dano, specifically for him being in that movie. Oh shit. Sounds odd, but okay. Yeah, he was a strange motherfucker man. Yeah, like,

the internet was coming to the defense of Paul Dano. Right. And they were like, especially like, why that movie? He was pretty good in that movie. Of all things, huh? Yeah.

He should be getting on, what's his name, the dude that played the Joker that had all the prison tats on him? The new Tron Aries. Yeah. Jared Lleve. Yeah. I heard that movie wasn't bad.

The Tron one? Aries? I haven't seen it yet. It's on Disney, I think, now. Watched it. Yeah? Eh. Oh, the new Predators up on Disney Plus right now.

I'm going to have to check that. I remember another one I missed. That's a fun one. That one is fun. I had a really good time of the Predator one. Yeah. Tron was. It's okay.

I forgot I watched it like the day after. Yeah. I mean, it was just so bland. Yeah. Oh, Brian, the wrecking crew. You recommended this one. The wrecking crew set in Hawaii.

I loved it. That was good, clean fun. Wrecking crew definitely will not be nominated for any Oscars. I'm calling it now. But it was a damn fun watch, right? Yeah, shit. I mean, I just dug the humor, like that scene with Jason Moa, like the Yucca, get him in the bathroom, and he's in a towel, and then he opens his towel, and he's like, sword fight. That's Batista and Jason Momoa?

Yeah, I need to watch that one. Or brothers. Okay, cool. I'll check it out. All right. And the last thing I'm rounded out, my Kula Week's Marty Supreme, but I'm going to round it out with a series. finally kind of binging season three.

I'm late to the party, which don't tell any of my Trekkie buddies, but Star Trek Strange New Worlds, the one of the adventures of Captain Pike. Yes. Have you checked out the new show? Not yet. Starfleet Academy.

I've been kind of waiting to see what you say about it. I'll tell you what. I'll watch a couple of episodes. I'll commit to watching a couple episodes over the weekend. Okay. probably going to finish Strange New Worlds over the weekend. Okay. But I have heard good things, Brian.

Yeah, I've heard good things, but I need a, I need a Truckee's opinion. There, there we go. All right, Nanu, Nanu, right, Philip? All right. A force be with you. That's right, the fourth. All right, that's cool of the week. Brian, do we have any horror headlines this week?

We got a few still a slow month. We talked about this year we're getting evil dead burn and then next year we're getting a second evil dead movie. It has a working title of Evil Dead Wrath. Okay. Kind of cool. Yeah. I can dig it.

Better than Evil Dead Rash, right? add one of those antibiotics and not get right out right that's Bill Gates that's right let's see we got our first image

of Johnny from in a violent nature too who gives us shit actually I'm mad about that too man I wanted that to be a standalone movie yeah I don't know why they did a sequel that wasn't a good idea

because it made money I'll tell you guys right now if they do the same exact gimmick for the second one it's a zero I don't care if they have a yoga kill or not all right let's say let's say they do the gimmick but they like limit it

so it's not like all just limit the wandering around yeah but I mean you still you still do the POV thing and there's just not half an hour's worth of walking in the movie, you know what I mean? You mean actually move the movie along? Yeah.

Brian. I'll give it some leeway then. Because I think the POV thing works. They just overdid it. I can see that. What if they make it totally meta? And in the very first scene, you see the guy walking and walking and walking. And then it fades out of that.

and like you see a TV screen and there's a kid playing a video game. Oh, that might be cool. Yeah. I don't know. That could work. Or if he's walking and he turns around and he wonders why this camera crew has been following the whole time and then he starts murdering them.

That would be great. That I'd go for. Let's see. It's like the office. right he turns and looks at the camera when somebody does something really say like the like that chainsaw commercial right where it's the it's like the leather face commercial

and uh and they're like just jump with a running car and then the like serial killer looks at the camera like he's in the office they should do that that was hilarious yeah that was a little long-winded explanation Sorry, continue, Brian. Mummy 4. It will hit theaters in

2008. This is Brendan Fraser? Wait a matter. Everybody that was alive in the franchise is coming back, apparently. Even the rock?

Did he die? Did he get killed? I don't know. Scorpion King? I can't remember. Didn't they? Well, they can do resurrecting. direction. It's ancient Egypt. They could do all that kind of shit. Did they stab like the CGI rock

scorpion thing and he died? I feel like they'll probably bring him back. Try to ignore that one as much as possible. Yeah, this is being done by the Scorpion King. Who's that? Radio Silence is directing this one. They do the ready or not last screen movie. Yeah, now you have my attention. All right. So I feel like the way they handle. They were probably a fan of this franchise growing up. I'm pretty sure they'll do like Phil said and just ignore the whole Scorpion King. Yeah.

Probably. Probably so. I think it's best to forget that one happened. More Mike Flanagan's Stephen King news. The latest thing he is going to adapt is he's redoing the mist.

Oh, I wonder. Yeah. I wonder if he'll do the book ending, the more upbeat ending. I don't know. Is upbeat really Mike Flanagan style? Not really. Not so much. What if he can make him even more fucked up ending?

Oh, God. I feel like we're counting off a lot of chickens here. Seems that way, right? I'm like, I mean, I feel like Flanagan's pretty much proven himself, but like, maybe let's maybe take some baby steps he's never going to get to the dark tower is he philip now that one would be cool if they can do it right and i think that like uh maybe some sort of adventure kind of thing would be really cool

i like the egerselba thing i just wish that movie didn't suck so bad yeah yeah i liked who was in it yeah well matthew mcconi i wasn't i didn't feel he was intimidating enough. I felt like you can hang out with him. Like I love Matthew McConaughey, but maybe not for that role. Agreed.

And I'm looking through here. That seems to be all the big news. All right. Singer Charlie SCX is doing a Takashi Miquet movie. Okay. Why not? I feel like she just pops up

every so often. Seems that way, right? Like, the only reason I have any idea who she is at all is because of her name. Right. Well, isn't she the one that says, that's so brat or something like that, like, Brat? Yeah, like she had a brat thing with Kamala. It was a weird deal.

She had a pretty good, she had a pretty good song with Iggy Azalea back in the day. Yeah? Yeah. No, she's in that new movie that Lance, your wife will probably make you watch Weathering Heights. I think she's neither in the movie or did some of the soundtrack. Dude, I'm actually

kind of looking forward to that movie. That movie sucks. I heard some of the reviews come out. Margot or Robbie, Jacob, Lordy. Yeah. He's better as Frankenstein. He's Australian. But the Charlie

X X X X. Is she British? I've just seen her and Marga Ravi do some video for GQ and they were talking about stuff and she didn't seem to know what specific Australian slang is.

So I'm going to say she's British. Oh boy. Okay. Rich people's problems. I'm not even really sure what she looks like. I'm not either. She may be smoking hot. I'm sure she is.

She's all right. Isabella Merced will be in Paul W.S. Anderson's adaptation of the House of the Dead. Boy. We're still working on that, huh? Yeah. I don't know which Paul Anderson director is worse.

I'd watch Paul W.S. Anderson's movies over. Over. Okay. I don't even know why you would mess with the House of the Dead thing. It seems like it would cost money to get... It was self-contained. The name. Well, and it's like, there's not really a story to it.

Well, like, just make a zombie movie. Just be original, huh? Like, House of the Dead was just a... Yeah. A video game shooter. Like, there was no story to it. It was just... You kill zombies.

That's it. Philip, you and I had a good time. Watched it stoned off our asses. Yeah, that's true. It might be in this so bad it's good category. And finally, Michael Shannon is set the star in a remake of the cabinet of Dr. Caligari. Is that how you say?

Huh, I think so. Is that the Vincent Price movie? I think, no, I think, what, maybe, but I thought this was like an old silent movie. Yeah. Oh, boy, are we showing our horror credentials tonight? I know. I don't think I've ever actually seen that one.

It always pops up, but I've never actually watched it. You know, it's a, it's a classic, but I've left to be honest. How many people actually have? Yeah, released in 1920. Philip, is it a classic classic or a Michael Arnaz classic? Man, I don't know. This one is probably like a staple in the evolution of horror movies, so it's probably a thing we should watch at some point.

Yeah, we'll do a commentary, since it's silent, we can say whatever we want. Oh, that's true. We probably put that one on YouTube. Yeah, this article I'm reading has said it had a profound influence, not just on German cinema, but the cinematic landscape as a whole

from everything from James Wales, Frankenstein, to Tim Burton's, Edward Scissorhands. Yeah. We haven't seen it. We've got to turn out our horror, our horror card. I'm telling you. And this is going to be directed by John

Eric Dwado. He did that movie as above so below. Great movie. Yeah, great movie. Now, would Nez call Dr. Caligari horror?

I can tell you because I might watch it and say this isn't horror. Yeah. But then again, I could pose the question again. I don't know what horror means.

That's true. Could just be something that's a little scary. All right. That's the news. All right, we're going to go on down to the trailer park then. So Brian is going to bring us the big, the small, and sometimes the very, very weird. And what is our first new trailer tonight?

Brian. Actually, we reviewed like a small teaser of this a couple months ago. Yes, we did. And this is a much longer teaser trailer. It's the only thing new.

That's Curry Barker's obsession. They're hyping it up, man, giving us little tiny chunks one after the other. Yeah, let's see. Synopsis. After breaking the mysterious one-wish willow to win his crushes of heart,

a hopeless romantic finds himself getting exactly what he asked for, but soon discovers that some desires may come with a dark, sinister price. Sounds like my last three girlfriends. So I'm taking it. He wishes for true love, and he gets more than what he bargains for. Well, and she's a little much. Learn to embrace it, my friend. She's a little extra.

What'd you guys think of the trailer or a teaser trailer? Is this supposed to be, is this going to be like a big movie? It is Blumhouse movie. Oh, wow. They took a chance on the milk and cereal kit, huh? Yeah, they saw what he did with a couple, a few hundred dollars. Sure. They're getting cheap.

They're getting cheap on him, huh? Here, kid. We'll throw $100,000 at you. Do what you can. And then they'll have like 40 million in viewership. Well, the direction and cinematography look pretty good. Yeah? I thought so, yeah.

I'm interested. I mean, it's super generic. Yes. But, like, you know, I guess you have a lot of. freedom to do what you want to with something like that. And it could be really good. Like some of those are the best ones where they take just some super duper generic idea and then just like one up it.

I'm more interested in the whole like this thing he looks like he purchases in the trailer from a store, this one wish willow thing. Like where that comes from and how many other people, used it to make wishes that turned out super bad. Comes from the pussy willow. I wonder if it was the same store where that dude bought the Gremlin's.

Ah, Magway. But is it a horror movie? If only Nes were here. What me in, coach? There's the man. What's going on, bro? What are you guys talking about? The

Obsession. their obsession. Obsession? Yeah, it's a The Milken cereal guy. Be careful what you wish for a movie. You ever see a YouTuber named Corey Barker?

He made a horror film called Milk and Serial. Yeah, I've seen that. Yeah, he got signed by Blumhouse and his first movie with them is this movie called Obsession. Okay, that's what it is. I kept seeing ads for it.

I didn't know what it was. Yeah. So he wishes for his crush. And then she gets like super obsessed with him or something. Isn't that swim fan? Generic idea. Yeah. Right.

This looks better than that for sure. I don't know, man. Swim fan was pretty horrifying. For those either of seeing that. Was it a horror maybe, Nez? For guys it was. Okay. Fair enough.

We'll take that. It's kind of like the federal attraction. for the teen the teen I guess they were in high school but yeah I looked like they was adults this one is a 38 years old a super short trailer um it's it's kind of just a teaser but like uh there's there's a weird scene at the end where she's uh like she's just a silhouette in the hallway and she's like uh says something pretty or something yeah still like Am I still pretty? Would you still love me if I was a worm or some bullshit like that?

Yeah. It's definitely, it's definitely given all supernatural vibes. Yeah. Oh. Also that swim girl, that swim fan girl, she goes,

you don't have to mean it. Just say you love me. Don't fall for it, guys or gals. Either way, don't fall for it. That one's hard to not fall for her. She's pretty hot.

Yes, yes, she is. This hits theaters. May 15th and before we move on from the trailer park Nez can we get your cool of the week I have two actually

I got out and seen Iron Lung okay yeah I see that one Brian was talking about that it was it was interesting my son wanted to see it I had no idea what it was so did he play the game or did he know the

guy that made it the YouTube yeah he knows the YouTuber he said he didn't play he knew what the game was. I didn't know anything about it. Because when I was watching, I'm like, what the hell's going on here? Why? Why aren't we seeing what's going on outside? I didn't tell, well, what says it in the trailer?

He's in a sea of blood. And then I was like, well, I guess you can't really see through blood. So I guess there was no, there was no reason for his little vessel to have windows. But I was like, okay. Awesome. It didn't need to be two hours, but in the end, it got exciting at the end. And I was like, okay, I mean, I'm digging this. And then when it was over, I had so many more questions than I got answers from the movie.

So I started watching YouTube videos on guys explaining the game and then explaining the movie. And I went, oh, okay, I see what's happening here. And I thought it was a good idea. I thought it was cool. It didn't make me want to play the game. I'm not much of a gamer. I'm an old-school gamer, like Pac-Man and Donkey Kong and all that. Yeah.

So I'm telling them, dude, I've been jamming on the Final Fantasy 7 remake. Did you ever play that one? I can't get into those games. Oh, man. It's old school, yeah. Theo is all about Final Fantasy, and he tried to get, I said, I can't. He wanted to cover that movie for ESP Rewind, and I'm like, dude, I don't know. Yeah, oh, yeah, the movie was not great.

Yeah. But Iron Long, it was interesting. If you know the lore or you played the game, you'll probably get a little more enjoyment than I did. I just had to research it because I didn't know what the hell was going on and what was happening. But, I mean, overall, after I found that, everything, I thought about the movie. It was actually pretty good. Again, it didn't need to be two hours. And then, let's tell you what, Thursday night, Tuesday night.

I got out to the theater and I seen The Strangers Chapter 3 Uh-oh, Brian I like the second chapter more Out of the three Yeah, did it need to be three movies?

They could have probably wrapped it all up in two Because they were doing a little more too Too much Explaining on what was going on. Brian and I, we're going to do something on it, but I enjoyed it. I thought it was cool. The ending wasn't the greatest, but I was like, all right, okay. I'm actually, I hated the first part, Chapter 1.

It was just a remake of the original one, which was a million times better. Like shot for shot. Yeah, pretty much. So I'm rewatching that, and then I'm going to rewatch chapter 2, and then at some point, Brian and I will talk about the third one. spoilers and all, but I enjoyed it. There was a lot of people in the theater.

I sat in the row right in front of the D-box seats. And did it need D? For those you don't even know what D-boxes. It's those seats that move. I didn't think it needed it. For this? Yeah. D-box.

That guy's just trying to get more money out of you. And I was like, what? Why do they need these? I mean, those those seats are more for like Fast and Furious. Yeah, that type of thing. That might be cool, actually. I sat in those for, for Maverick.

Top Guns. I sat in, though they were cool. I like the settings. It could be super high or just good enough to work because I was like, oh, the motion was a little too much for me. But I was like, what do you need D-box seats these other than they just try to rank another $10 out of you

but I liked what they were trying to do again it did they didn't need to stretch it out into three movies you could have condensed these three movies down into a one two hour movie yeah they they were doing a lot of

just backstory on who the strangers were I mean that's why the first and the second movies worked we didn't need all that I mean like I feel like that defeats the whole purpose of the first movie. Yeah, it was like we didn't need, we didn't need to know who they were.

Yeah. But I was like, okay, I mean, I kind of liked it. I would have liked to have seen, which they probably, I don't know if this movie, if these three movies made money. Because there was, they were, they were shown. Probably. Well, well, Brian and I will get into it. But anyway, I enjoyed it.

I can't stress enough how much I do not give a shit about the term. Uh-oh. Just wait for streaming. If you get interested, any of you listening, for those of you that did see it, yes, you already seen it. But if you didn't, you can wait.

There's no need to rush to the theater. But I liked the second one, because I didn't even see the second one in the theater. Let's just say I saw it. And then I was like, okay, this one was cool. I liked what was happening. Because, again, I didn't

really, I, you didn't need to remake the first one. It could have just been someone and then here they come and chasing them throughout the movie. That's what I'm saying. If you would have condensed this down into three movies into one, that first movie could have been like the first 20 minutes of one movie.

That makes sense. Yeah, that makes, I can see that for sure. So, yeah, but I mean, again, I enjoyed it. But when I was walking out, there was, a couple in front of me and the lady turned around and goes, what did you think? I said, yeah, it was all right.

She goes, I liked it. And her boyfriend goes, I hated all three of them. He knows what's up. Then I was watching YouTube, YouTubers and they were all every day hated all of them. But then there was one

guy talking about that the second one, what was it, pray at night or whatever. He said that was the best one. I was like, I liked it. Second best one. I liked it.

Yeah, the first one was the best one. The original. I mean, like the original original original. Yeah, the original one with Liv Tyler. Yes,

I like that one too as much as Scott Speedman. Brian, Brian hates Lyft Tyler. She's so. Blah. Unfair, Brian.

Unfair. Come on. What movie did she, is her best performance? All right. The Aerosmith music video. There you go.

Bingo. Empire. Empire Records. I'd like to say. It might be Aerosmith music video because you don't have, you don't get to hear her at all. And that one movie, there was one movie when she was, some fat guy liked her. It was, it was a drama. What?

With Ryan Reynolds? Were he wearing a vetsuit? No. No, it was, it was actually all right. right movie. Just Friends. I want to say Blondie was in it too. Not Blondie.

Debbie Harry. I want to say she was in it. How do I not remember this? I saw it a long time ago. It was probably in the 90s. Okay. That one was all right. I saw it once from what I remember.

But yeah, Chapter 3, I enjoyed it. I'll probably, if they put out a steel book with all three of them in it, I'll buy it. Oh, boy. Just, I'm a completest. I have the other two.

The first, the original, the first two. I have those. Sure. I didn't want to buy the first one because I didn't like it, but. That movie was called Heavy. Yeah, that movie. Heavy. Yeah, it was in the 90s, I think.

The fat guy was the one guy with the eyes. Pruitt, Taylor Vince. Oh, God. Okay. It was a good movie. I fell for any big boys out there, hey, man, or big gals, don't let anyone put you down. You guys get yours. But anyways.

I mean the guy with the eyes. The big guys' podcast. His eyes like shake. That's two strikes against him, right, ladies? That movie was good. That movie was good. I liked it. Yeah, I'm going to wait to, again, if there's a steelbook, which there probably won't be.

But then again, man, they put everything in stillbooks lately. Physical media is starting to drop. Well, yeah, there's not a whole lot of it left. And the only people that buy are people like you who buy steelbooks. Yeah, then they get me for like $60. Yeah. Because Arrow and, uh, What's that other?

Vinego Syndrome and... Vinegar Syndrome. Some other ones, man. They'll be putting out some good old movies. Hell yeah, they do, man. But then they're pricey. I usually wait for Texas Fryman. Vinerga Syndrome's the best to me

because they put a lot of quality into their product with the packaging. Oh, you gotta get hooked up with Steve, man. He's making those VHS recreate. Oh, that's right. That's right. I may need one for red. I don't want to like to have that one. Oh, shout out to Steve, man.

Not for sale, but, you know. That latest horror returns thing he did. The Halloween three? Halloween three? Yeah, that one. Okay. That was awesome. I like that one. Yeah, those are probably my two cools of the week.

what I say, Iron Long and Strangers Chapter 3. All right. That was shit, there was something else. You didn't see Luke Besant's Dracula? What's the name's in that, right? Yes, the weird red hair. The kid.

No, Christoph Waltz. Yes. He's the priest. If anything, that's a character. That's the reason I'm going to see it because of him. Because I was like, Dracula. Didn't we just have one? No, that was Frank.

I'm going to tell you right now, Nez, I watched it. It is basically Bramstoke's Dracula. Again? That's basically what it is. Can we get away from the main universal monsters or whatever? How many Frankenstein movies do we need? How many Dracula movies do we need? This is mummy.

I'll see it. I mean, I was probably one of the few that liked the Tom Cruise one. But what? I'm like, gosh. Werewolf? Not a horror movie. I don't understand your movie, your tasting movies at all. I don't like that movie.

I thought it was good. It wasn't a horror movie. I liked it. There you go, Brian. If they're making a new, aren't they making a new Brandon Frazier, mummy movie or whatever? Yeah. Yeah.

comes out in 2028. Those last two, I didn't care for. The score pinking. That one, no, no, not that one. The Jet Lee one? The Jet Lee one. Was it four of those movies? Or three of those movies?

Three. Okay, well then the last one, Jetley one. I didn't care for it. It was kind of forgot about the third one. Yeah, see? I just wanted to see Jet League kick ass. Is he still make movies? I think he's like,

I think I've seen some video that he's like sick now or something. I don't know. He has some kind of condition and he like made him like age like super fast. Oh man. We just lost James Vanderbeek. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, man.

Catherine O'Hare last week. Yeah. I didn't even know he had cancer. I saw pictures of him. I was like, oh, man. Yeah, I think he's been sick for a long time. I think he was keeping it to him. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, man. That one, I've seen his things he's popped up in. Never really watched Dawson's Creek or anything, but. Right. I just liked him when he popped up in Jane, Silent Bob. Yep. Strike back.

And then he came, him and Jason Biggs came back in the reboot one. I've seen that movie more than I've ever seen anything else ever. More than Austin Powers, gold member? Yeah, it was, it was that, like those three movies. James Highland Bob Strike Back, Austin Powers, a gold member, and Super Troopers. Super Troopers, that's right. That's right. That's right.

It's one of those movies like 200 times. Give me a liter of cola. well it was his name far Farva I don't want a large Farva I want a leader of fucking cola I know

I know something else I watch I can't remember There was some Oh It's not a horror movie Um Wrecking crew With um

Yes Yes Batista and Yeah Jason Mamoa I gotta watch that one I can't believe Yeah

It was good Prime Prime Prime okay Yeah it was pretty good I watched it twice man Do you think Nez do you think that

Jason Mamoa should have been The brother That was living in Hawaii Yeah I think it would have been better If he was he was the one there Because he was more All about that life

And Batista What nationality is he? It's Filipino. Okay. They didn't darken him up, did he, or is he that dark? He got a lot of time in the sun before they filmed, I guess. That's my wife. She goes spend some time outside.

Yeah? Dark as hell. I don't remember him being that dark when he was wrestling. Yeah. but I mean I've said this I said this on East Society Dave Batista he can do it all he can be serious

I agree yeah I agree funny so but it was good I was I was really excited I was excited and when that one started streaming I just recently watched it and it was hell funny and also all the action it's off the wall

nonsense action but hey it fit the movie because that whole that freeway chase scene was awesome with them and the helicopter. Oh, yeah, yeah. What was that girl in? She was in...

Deadpool. Was that right? Okay. Yeah. Oh, no. She was in, um, uh, that,

uh, that, uh, remake of, uh, she was, uh, she was like,

queen of the visitors or whatever. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I like to just go to Deadpool. That's pretty odd. I liked V. I like the original series more than that. Oh, yeah, with Freddie

Freddy Krueger in it. Yeah. I like that one. But yeah, those were my three cool of the week. Iron Lung, Wrecking Crew, and the Strangers Chapter 3. Nice. All right. Listen to feedback.

Except the strangers three. My bad. All right. This week we're going to shine the podcast spotlight on It's Alive. Alive. Okay. It's worth repeating. A I was written. I don't know.

It's supposed to go. It's alive. It's alive. Yeah, you missed it, Philip. I need to get that box set. It's a live box set. I need that one. Yeah. Steel book.

I fell down that hole for 31 days. Yeah? Watched all four of them. The three and the three. The island of the alive and... Yeah, then that terrible, terrible remake. All right, well, this one is a true crime, paranormal, and interstellar podcast that breaks down unbelievable Hollywood-style stories in a documentary format. It blends movie reviews, slasher, sci-fi, and spooky tales to explore where fiction ends and facts begin, focusing on character-driven narratives.

Wow. Check it out. It's alive. Sounds like a hell of a show. Yeah. In regards to it, welcome to Derry. Stephen Loblad says, I was late to the party, but man, what a great show. Agreed.

It was good. I was impressed. I was impressed with that one. Ness said hella good in there. It was. It made my best TV of last year. You guys know that season two still isn't greenlit? Really?

Yeah. Well, that'd be dumb. What are they waiting for? Of all the dumbass Stephen King shit, they keep doing. They're waiting to lock down Dane Dahan, Ness. Speaking of Stephen King, I know everybody's riding Mike Flanagan's nuts. I don't, but he's going to remake the Mist. That's what we were just talking about.

I was like, man, they're counting an awful lot of chickens over here. Right. it was fine what Durabont did just leave it alone or make a part two or something

I mean maybe he's is doing a continuation or is he going to do it because I know I know they changed the ending in the movie than from the book

I was saying he might do an even more fucked up ending than the movie I don't know man that was a movie that was a theater experience. Everybody in the theater was crying.

It doesn't get much worse than what happened, right? Maybe they'll show it in this one. But that's part of it. No, I don't need to see that. Part of it made that movie so great was the end. It was like, they showed them killed that one kid in Dr. Sleep, the baseball kid. Right?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's right. Early on in the movie. I need to watch. that. I've seen that in a while. I know, me too. You're all right. I mean, of course I'll watch it, but...

Of course. I don't ride or die with Mike Flanagan. I'm not saying he's bad, but the way everyone... I use the greatest thing since Slash Bled. Okay. I'm like, I don't know about all that. I'm going to need a little more proof before we start signing him onto everything.

Like, I want to see what he does with the Exorcist. Those are big shoes. Oh, he's doing that next one? Yeah. Well, I have a little more faith than him for that, because that last one was trash. I didn't like it. Well, right. Obviously, it's going to be better than that one.

That could have just been another horror movie. They didn't need to tie in their exorcists. I mean, those two little girls, what they did in it, hey, they did their job, and I liked what they did. But there was no need to throw the exorcist in that title. It could have just been the believers. whatever it was called. Anyway, I thought the look of it was good. It just, like, story-wise was...

All right. Well, it was better than the heretic. That one was garbage. Yeah, there's been some bad ones. Is that the one with James Earl Jones spitting a tomato out of his mouth? I saw it a long time ago, and I didn't like it. Never went back for it.

Not a sentence, I thought I'd hear today. All right. In regards to a picture in the group of the Wolfman, Heath Wachian. We're hearing some chatter in the airlines over there. So the Heath Watkins from the House of Frankenstein picture. No, Heath Watkins said this pick is from House of Frankenstein, 1944 with Elena Verdugo. for the Wolfman picture. Okay.

Go check it out on the internet. I'm sorry. Look at the big brain on. What's his name again? Heath Watkins. Fred. Heath Watkins. Yeah.

Professor Heath Watkins. Did you say they're making another werewolf movie? Yes. Weirwolf, right? With the dude that did, uh, fuck. Help me out here, Brian.

The Northman, right? Oh. Oh. Garzgard? Oh. Eggers. Eggers, yeah, that's it. Eggers.

Eggers. He's his name's in it, kickass. Oh, he's in everything all of a sudden. Grave in the Hunter? Yeah. I like that movie.

I didn't like, I thought it was good. You like their AI faces that were in it? I didn't mind it. I mean, out of the spin-off Spider-Man movies,

that's probably leading the charge. Yeah? Most fun, huh? I remember watching it. Like, why are their faces doing that when they move? What? I got to see this. Sony's just putting them out just to keep the property.

Well, they canceled all of them. Oh, you know what did look cool? It came out today, the teaser trailer for the Spider-Man Noir. Oh, yeah. Series on Prime with Nicholas Cage. Oh, okay. That looks awesome. That's the direction they need to be going in.

Is I'm going to get it? Live action. Live action. One episode in the theater or something. I'd like to see it on the big screen. And when it comes out on time, you have the option of watching it in black and white or color. I watch it black and white first. Yeah, I'll watch both, black and white first.

I can dig it. Make those cage, he can do no wrong. He's everywhere. I'm telling you, dude. And there's a scene in the trailer where he goes at cage. Talk about it. fucking revival for a guy who let's be honest is not that great of an actor he's at a prolific career yeah and he's got the calmy girl

yeah that's a good one that's a good one i agree man i used to that's philip was talking about the movies he's watched hundreds of times i watched that one a lot when i was in high school yeah when we talk to um what's or not uh that's right daily yep yep i was I didn't even talk about her horror movies. I talked about Valley Girl. She probably appreciated that. Yeah, she probably appreciated that. She was cool.

She was nice. I was glad she gave us the time. She was a very tiny person. Yeah, she is. Yes. She has a cameo in this movie, me and Nez are going to do for her stream fiends. Strangers three?

No. It's not streaming yet. Oh, my way, My rant for these monster movies, leave Dracula alone for a while, leave Frankenstein alone for a while, leave Wolfman or whatever, for a while.

Mommy, yeah, okay, let me see what that one is going to do. And this bride, I'll see it. Oh, yeah, not excited about that one in there. Well, you know what? Maybe it'll be good. At least it's something different.

Yeah, right. It just looks. Yeah. I agree with you, like they're taking the idea and they're doing something different with it instead of just giving us a remake of the original movie.

Yeah, it looks dumb as well, but maybe it's, maybe it'll be good. Christian Bale, he's never done wrong before, right? And what's her name was in Hamlet, wasn't she? Maggie Gillinghill. That's the director. Oh, that hell Hamnet is.

That was the director. Yes, she was, Brian. She was. Yeah, she was pretty amazing in that, man. Jesse Buckley, is that her name? Wasn't she in that movie you loved men? Yes, she was in that. She was in Fargo, a season of Fargo.

She played the killer nurse. Men was weird. She was in Wild Rose. Like 25 times at the end of the movie? That was a fucking trip. I haven't seen it yet. And I worded it nice for you, Lance. I said the movie, man instead of saying,

did she love men? Correct. Not like men. Not like man on film, huh? Hated it. What the technology they can do now, give me a creature from the Black Lagoon, please. I think they are.

I don't know who's making it, but... Make a good one. I mean, come on. I feel like I've heard about this for years, and it never has happened. The last thing they did that teased me with creature was the mummy, the Tom Cruise one. Was that the one?

I think so. They're the same episode, man. What a shit? I know, it's fucking insane that we're talking about the exact same things. Wasn't Russell Crowe in that? Wasn't he like Dr. Jekyll? Oh, yeah. That was supposed to be a spinoff too.

You know what? You'd buy into that? I think he could have pulled that off. like in a different universe where they came out with the Dr. Jekyll movie first. Right? Well,

you know, I think it was the last Dr. Jekyll one they did in the 80s with the was a Dr. Jekyll and or Jekyll and Hyde together again? Yes. Remember that, Lance?

Yes. Yes. He was a comedy, right? Yeah, he had that magic Coke. Right. And when he, when he turned it,

When he turned into Mr. Hyde, his pinky finger got long, so he had the Coke nail. Young listeners probably have no idea what we're talking about. What I'm seeing here, it looks like James Wan is supposed to be directing a creature from the Black Lagoon movie. I forgot what a James Wan movie looks like. Just because his name is tied to it. everyone I'm just like come on

just direct something but yeah I just want I just want a creature for the Black Cgoo movie I mean if it's a CGI mess then give it to me I just want to see it

Fair no I'm man I'm in I mean I mean you could do the CGI you can throw a big dude in the suit

and and just make it good just make it an adventure movie and Tim Killing Fools I mean that's all I want I was like nobody ever tackles it I mean they

They try I mean Monster Squad did a good job He was only in it for a little bit But I'm just like man How many vampire movie Or Dracula movies How many Frankenstein movies do we need I mean come on everyone

There's other characters Within the Universal Monsters stuff But I don't know Some other classic monsters Let's go for I'll even That's monster movie or a bigfoot movie.

The Loch Ness. Like a good bigfoot movie. Geld member, the Loch Ness Monster. Check out. Well, they don't really show anything, but there's some local directors here. I think they're from Reno. Okay.

They did. I haven't seen the second one yet. I have it. I need to watch it. I was talking, I went to this convention, and I was talking to them. There's these movies called Tahoe Joe. Basically, it was like a found footage film. they were kind of a mockumentary type thing they were looking for bigfoot

Tahoe Joe is what they called him sounds cool all right up in the Tahoe area so I want to I saw the first movie in the theater because they did a small little run where I live because I think one of the guys that made to help make the film is from the town I live in so they showed it there so it was cool I mean it was good to see on the big screen then I'm at a convention and I bought both of those films. I meant to watch...

I haven't watched the second one yet. And I'm going to try to get the director on the show because I'd ask him, this was like about a year or so ago. I asked him, and say, hey, we do podcasts? Yeah, man, just shoot me a line.

So I'm going to watch the movies and then I'm going to reach out to him. But I did enjoy the first one. I don't remember it. I'll have to re-watch both of them again. But expect that sometime this year, boys and girls. It'll be a bonus episode.

So, but... Yeah. That sounds like a good idea, man. Yeah, give me more creature of the black, from the Black Creecher in the Black Cagoon. Fair enough. All right. And let's see.

Next comment, we have to wonder if our Facebook page has been hacked. Or somebody's on some pretty good drugs. Pragati, Sanjali, says, Reiki to heal question. I don't know why we're going on this. Why aren't we reading this? being misused to injure kill

music powerful energy being misused to injure kill technology vibrating stereos gadgets being misused to injure kill telepathy being misused for crimes by what is going on right now women men

Paul Munn really was I don't know what is this on it is a poem I guess that was posted on our Facebook page but if you want to explain for Gatti write us at the horror returns at gmail.com

and go check out our horror returns Facebook group to get some more pragmatic insights like this when was this I'm trying to look for it I don't know Lance is crying

I don't have to we'll have to hunt for that one. I don't think I don't think I did his his poem justice trying to I probably should have pre-read that and then like performed it

like some spoken word shit but you get the idea I can't find it so oh boy all right an interesting one we'll move on to the ruins uh

okay Kevin Engel says a good movie when they cut off his leg that was brutal yep brandy Michelle says good film

and Mark Walsh says very good film damn it's a consensus so we got some pretty good reviews for the ruins so far is that that one with gentlemen along when they're on that

yes Aztec she looks like she looks like that girl that was in what was that show on MTV 16 and pregnant oh

I never saw that I didn't watch that show oh yeah yeah yeah the only thing I watched newish was yeah teenage teenage mom yeah I saw some of those nes

just because that interested me but 16 and pregnant didn't didn't really hold my attention. It might have been called 16 impregnate or some bullshit like that. Yeah, it was, that was enough. The ruins was hell of good. That was a good movie. It was hell of good.

Spoiler. Spoiler. Spoiler. Don't go to another country and start messing around with their stuff. Oh, no shit, right? No shit. Stay in your lane. Yeah, man, geez.

Just go observing. Oh, cool. Take pictures and leave it alone. Don't go touch it. Like that one guy, he was like in some influencer guy. He climbed one of the pyramids and then they arrested him. And then he did something stupid and I think the Philippines and then he got arrested. Johnny Somali, is that that guy?

No. I can't remember. You know what I'm talking about. He's just one of those guys. He's like a Russian. Yeah, that dude. Oh. He goes all over the place and does,

does crazy things. He, he, like, irritates people. Yeah. And he went to the Philippines and fucking around and found out. Like,

they could have deported him, but the prime minister was like, no, we're going to make an example of you. We're going to send you to our shittiest prison. Yeah. He's like a buff dude, and he's like,

clean cut and good looking guy but they show pictures of him when he went in then they show a picture of him in there he they don't let him uh have any products so his hair's all wild and crazy he's got a big old caveman beard and everything he lost hell away too when he got out well he should hopefully he learned his lesson see there's another one of those guys i think his name is johnny somali or something along yeah he he did the same thing and he was in a country. I know who you're talking about. And he got like arrested in Japan or some shit. Yeah.

For just being a dick. Don't go to other countries and act stupid. Are you going to cut your legs off like in the ruins? Have we done that one, Brian? The tally. That's his name. Yeah, that guy. Have we done the ruins, Brian? That's what we're doing today.

Oh, is it? Yeah. I don't even know what we're doing. Way to join us. we'll talk about it but first we got a screener through the email starts out with Aloha team

at the horror returns which already means it's gonna be awesome it says I'm reaching out to you to to Plankenstein a killer surf movie

okay a Plankinstein I had to read that carefully Killer Surfboard A 100% Hawaiian locally made horror comedy that's creating buzz

as the world's first surfboard slasher film. I'm in. I'm in. Born from a battered surfboard rescued from Oahu's North Shore, Plankinstein,

follows a cursed board that protects a Hawaiian royal air through a series of gruesome darkly comic murders. After selling out its theatrical premiere and completing a successful

Hawaiian run, the film is now streaming worldwide and earning praise from critics. Blankensstein. I love to know. Wow. No shit. Now that's original. Brian, you got to admit that's original. They work for the movie's slacks.

Oh, and then there was rubber. Remember rubber? The killer tire. Killer sofa. The underwear one. What was that one that we watched? The underwear one. Oh, hanky-panky.

Hanky-panky. Oh, okay. I love it. Underwear. Did she the killer condom one? Oh, with the, Jeremy. Why does that not surprise me? Check that one out.

That's why you shouldn't use condoms. Or Amityville Vibrator. Jeremy. me, Amityville Vibrator. A cursed vibrator. Anyway, he says we'd love to connect with you in whatever way works best, probably not a cursed

vibrator. This is a true passion project made entirely by local Hawaiian talent and we'd be thrilled to have you experience it and share it with your audience. Mahalo for your time and consideration. Dick Diamond

Productions. Send it to me. I'll watch it. it. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I'm going to check it. Have you seen it yet, Brian? You usually watch the screeners when we get them. I don't have access to our...

Oh, well, we got to change that. Okay. Well, they always ask me for a damn code to be sent to some of the phone. Oh, I know. Yeah, they don't want multiple people. Just forward it to me and Ness. We'll do. Send it to me.

I'll watch it. You guys want to do the interview with me? It depends on what day it is. Okay. All right. All right. I'm down. All right.

And we got a little extra feedback here from our upcoming March Madness show. The Reldon Masluse has just caught up. Brian's words were assuring. That being said, I'm down. If y'all need an extra body. All right. I believe we've got enough knowledge to try this during the years, March Madness.

if the theme is found footage. Okay, cool. All right. Got one, Brian. Well, I'm in, so that's two. That's two. Hey, I'm in. That's three.

Nes. Roll in the show. What are you doing it? What are you doing it? Let me get that day. But starting a week, I'll be at work, but I'll try to jump in. Although, am I not cool with the week? week is my

100 year old grandpa died well not quite 100 years old but he lived a good life yeah he lived his life man my grandma she lived a 101 oh not bad no I think he was like 96 but

I may or may not be there during March madness because well there could be a funeral coming up play by year March 12 March 12 May 10th before you know it's a Thursday I think it was a Thursday

Okay Unless we need to put that one on a weekend or something I guess we'll see how it goes Yeah See how it goes Anywho Derek Rosenberg from third channel podcast Says

Yeah that should actually work with my odd work schedule As I'm off Thursday night So maybe we still stick with that Oh Then I assume the Three and a half hour length of elevated horror episode you sent me is pretty standard for these March Madness

so you have like seven people seven plus people chatting that obviously works for me as our standard episode tends to run two three hours I'll get you my personal list with formal email I don't think we've gone that long in a March Madness

episode in a while. Elevated horror episode was three and a half hours that was the one I said on how the conversation goes we get some bruise in and just roll with it, you know. True. I don't even remember who won that one. I don't even.

Just don't have too many people in. That's when it goes forever. Yeah, we can do that. Maybe we can go with five judges this year or something like that. That'll work. All right. That's it for feedback. Steve Carlton from the geeks.

Also check out our website. All the t-shirt designs and stuff from him. Yep. www. Thehorrorterns.com. We just got a new bad ass design up there. Get it before they take it down. It's up there now?

It's up. I believe so, yeah. Put that other one back up real quick. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Right. Just name it something different. Just don't even name it.

Just put it up. Just don't even. Real fast. That's a possibility. That's right. The horror returns and put it up. And original skull artwork, also on a t-shirt comes from Natsulani.

It's pretty badass. And check out Patreon. You can be a patron and you can pick the movies for a future show at any amount. And for $5 or more a month, also put a commentary if you're a future bonus show. And, you know, maybe if you guys pay us a little, we'll try to up the production value, maybe. If you want to send us money, we'll take that check. Yeah. If you like it, help us out.

If not, eh, fuck on. On to featured attractions. We got Aztec horror week. And to clarify before any comments come in, I know there's a difference

between Aztec and Mayans. Oh, I noticed that too. Yeah, I noticed that too. Oh, because the ruins is Mayan? Yeah.

Ah. I haven't, I had not seen this movie since when did it come out 2007, 2008. Yeah, 2008, I think. I remembered it differently. So we are aware, so don't.

Not, no cultural insensitivity here, huh? One of them sacrificed 20,000 people in four days, and the other one played soccer with human heads. So, what do you do? Real football. Yeah. All right. So we'll start with the ruins.

those are the soccer players a leisurely Mexican holiday takes a turn for the worst when a group of friends and fellow tourists embark on a remote archaeological dig in the jungle where something evil lives among the ruins something evil

director is Carter Smith also known for Jamie Marks is dead never heard of it sounds interesting writer is Scott B. Smith, also known for a simple plan. Sam Raming. Oh, okay. Though the film takes place in Mexico during the summer,

it was shot primarily in Australia during the winter. Oh, they got us. Heavy codes were provided for the actors in between takes, and water and olive oil had to be sprayed under their bodies. I like, sorry to interrupt. I'm looking through the t-shirt. I like this Action Returns T-shirt. Oh, our new Action Returns logo.

Fuck, yeah, dude. This is amazing. Get to Zitapa. I love it, dude. It's like it's popping off the t-shirt. All right, sorry. Go ahead. You know, it seems like winter in Australia and summer in Mexico

are the exact same fucking time. Why are you filming in Australia? uh-oh some weird tax thing yeah that is certainly a possibility that is

there's you know like at the end of every movie they have uh like check it out in this check it out in this color oh that's how fucking cool is that all right that is awesome but yeah at the end of every movie they have some sort of uh

I think there's like a New Zealand thing an Australian thing and a Canadian thing where they thank these like production companies or something. It's weird. There's something going on. Real quick. Real quick. Everyone, get your t-shirts.

There's $17 for... Yeah, I saw that. They're on sales. For two more days. Dig-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-flash sale. We'll put this episode out quick. Yes. If you've listened to the show up and to this point and you're hearing what I'm saying right now,

then you probably need a T-shirt. shirt. Both of them. I got two of them. Come on. You guys can buy one. One of each. One of each. One of us.

One of us. There you go. Nez, you want to start us off? What do you think about the ruins? Yeah, dude, this movie was awesome. I saw it in the theater. I didn't know what it was. I just, let's go see this.

Another horror movie. I couldn't tell you what the difference is between the rated R version and the unrated. I don't know. I don't really know. Maybe a scene or two was a little bit longer. Yeah. I thought it was good.

And again, if you go to another country, respect, respect the country you're visiting. They didn't respect it and they got what they deserved. So, but. Long story short. Yeah. I enjoyed it. I thought it was good.

I mean, I loved how they, there's spoilers in this, everyone, you should have seen it by now. I loved how there was no subtitles for all the people that were coming out

basically trying to warn them. So I thought that was really cool. I don't even know what language they were speaking, but it wasn't Spanish. It was, I thought it was Spanish. Well, it wasn't Aztec.

No. It was, it was some indigenous language or something. I think there's still like a Mayan language that, few people like a real small group know down there. I thought it was all Spanish. I haven't seen this in a while.

I'm just going off memory. But it was good. I liked Jenner alone, first of all. I liked her just about everything. She is so for the streets in this movie. Not even, her boyfriend doesn't even leave her alone on the beach for five seconds. And she's jumping on a foreign dude.

Oh, yeah. What else was she? What can I say? I love Dick. She was in a bunch of things. Hunger game movies. Was it Hunger Games? Okay.

She was in that one sucker punch. Oh, yeah. I like that movie. I got you. Yeah. Yeah, she was kind of a hole and a half in this one. It was like a hole. Use a hole.

I don't hate. I appreciate. I appreciate. Hey, to each their own, right, Ness? Yep. A German dude could have got some and ran off. Instead, he took them all to their death. That one guy from Texas Chantel on mask could got on my nerves.

Right? Yeah, I know. Yeah. Isn't he like a med student in this one? Yes. He knew everything, right? Oh, the guy with the short hair. Yeah, he was a little much.

Yeah, I'm a med student, so let's cut off your legs. Yeah. Bad idea. I thought the practical effects were cool, even with the, the, the, the, I thought that was, it was good. I liked how when it got under their skin and it was moving around. And when they got tricked by the weeds, when they thought it was a cell phone. That was cool.

That was, that was a good reveal. Yeah. And I liked how, like when they were, they were just basically trying to tell them, you can't leave. If you tried to leave, they killed you. I thought that was awesome. Well, yeah, overall. They extra put a stamp on it when they killed their own, like, little kid they got hit by the plants.

I know, man, that was terrible. Well, he didn't, they had to do what they had to do. And he was infected by the weeds. I guess. By the ruins. Is this, is this an allegory to drug usage kids? Because it did kind of look like marijuana leaves and red poppy flowers a little bit. Oh, I guess it kind of did.

But wait, but like. I don't understand how the plant works. Like, because he only just got hit with it a little bit. Like, is he just immediately infected with it? I think it just touches you. Maybe they're just over-precautious, because they know it happens. That makes sense. Yeah, that makes sense.

But, like, over-precautious enough to murder a 10-year-old? Pretty precocious, huh? Do what you got to do. I'm glad they didn't, like, really go into explanation on... Oh, yeah, same here. Why? They didn't over-explain it. Like, they didn't do a Strangers 3, right?

Yeah, they didn't have to explain it. You just knew it was bad, and the locals knew. So, I mean, I liked that whole thing. I thought this was down there somewhere. But if they filmed in Australia, did they build that whole thing? Probably, yeah. It didn't really look CGI. I mean, it looked like there was some structure there, at least for some of the shots.

Well, like most of it, aside. from like the set piece of the actual pyramid which may have just been a built set piece but the rest of it was really just at the top of the pyramid which you know you can film anywhere and

on like the inside of it did you guys never cover that movie pyramid I don't think I've ever seen anything I know what that didn't sound familiar it was somewhere in the 2000 it was garbage but alright Brian put it down

I am a fan of the pyramid conspiracy theories, though. Oh, yeah, we could do a whole show on that. The predators was because of them. They came down and taught them how to do it. That's right. That's right. Ancient astronauts. They were fighting the aliens.

Yeah, they used them. They were making the aliens there. Oh, that's right. That was the big reveal, right? they were they uh the predators made that uh that big pyramid temple and then they uh they used the locals they thought because they thought the predators were gods because they came from the sky so they were they were praising them and then they did the sacrifices that's why they put them in the pyramid and then uh they had some xenomarce though they that no they had that queen

and then uh she was made a while since i didn't remember that one too well Yeah. I don't care what anyone says. Those AVP movies were awesome. And if we're getting the third one, if we're getting the third one, I'm all for it. Bring it on. You're all in. The comic books were better, Nez, the Dark Horse Comics.

Yeah, those are way there. A lot more bloody. If you guys want to read a good predator book, it's one off the alternate alternate predator universe. Archie versus the predator. Check out one out. I've heard of this one. I've heard of this one. I like that story.

It was cool. continue pyramid yeah i thought it was a pyramid uh the ruins i enjoyed it i thought it was good it kept my attention uh from what i remember in the theater i saw like the first night and it was pretty packed in there and a bunch of teenagers so they were all hooting and hollering and screaming so i i like when everyone like screams when they're supposed to and everything so i i love when they do that so because when i see even when i saw strangers the other night man it was a lot of teens in there and they were really screaming for us and so. Add to the excitement, right?

Yeah, but hey, I got to go, guys. There's a plane here, but I am going to give the ruins. I'll give it an eight. I enjoyed it. Nice. I thought it was great. What about whistle? All right.

Everybody, thank you. Brian and I will be with the wrestling returns. We'll be that real quick. And we're going to bring Fryfor reflections this week. and I think we need to do some of the other ones. Stream Feins and Action and all that. Well, the double impact and better off dead. Oh, better off dead.

Yeah, action is double impact, double event damage, and then the classic 80s, better off dead. I want my $2. We'll bring you guys that one. But all right, crew, I'm out of here. Talk to guys later. All right, man. Later, bro.

Already on. party on guard all right uh lance what did you think about the ruins i i dug it too i liked a lot of the stuff well i mean look it's just kind of a basic

like nez said right kids fucking around getting into trouble doing things they shouldn't do and being punished for it right like we seen a million of those in horror movies and slasher's and stuff like that but what i liked about this one is i like some of the photography like some of the shots were kind of sublime, like not hit you over the head. Like, for example, you know, when the girl had the stuff crawling under her skin, right? And she was cutting away and all that. And they found her. Did you guys see the little tiny movement in her forehead? Did y'all catch it? Oh, no. Yeah, it was very hard to see. And I started thinking, because remember, they were all saying,

look, they were looking at her like that. And she was like, what is it? What is it? Is it my head? Is it my hair or whatever. And I thought, okay, maybe this is all in her mind, right? She's imagining it. The plants drove her crazy. But I kind of rewound it a little bit. And you can see a very, very hard to see little movement up there. And then later, there's a little thing in her legs where you can just barely see it. I thought that was really well done. Well, that scene where they like come outside the tent and she's like tearing herself up with the scissors. Yes, that was intense, huh? That was. That one is gorgeously shot, man. That's like the iconic scene of this movie, I feel like. Yeah, I'll buy that. I'll buy that. There was a lot of good, a lot of good kills though, right?

Lots of, lots of good gore, cutting the legs off and then using the frying pan to cauterize it. And at first, I thought, well, this dude's nuts, right? He's like wanting to be a doctor, but he sure seems eager to cut on people and stuff like that, you know? That's true. But then toward the end, he's like saying, well, no, stop cutting. The cutting is done, you know? So it's kind of weird. You don't know who to trust. You don't know how much of this was a result of the influence of the plants on them. And I still say it's a drug allegory.

It's got to be. Come on, guys. Yeah, probably. I mean, because the plant is maybe making them think things that may not be real. I think so. Yeah, I really dug this one. Great pick, Brian. Good pick this week.

All right. Brian, what do you think? Yeah, this movie is awesome. I have not seen it since it originally came out in the theaters. Yeah, me too. So this was a lot. I forgot. I forgot about the amputee scene.

You know, if you got a hunting knife and a rock, you can amputate someone's legs. But I love the scene when he... He still went quick with just that. Yeah. Yeah. But I like the scene after when he passes and the binds,

like grab hold of his legs and just drag him off. I thought that was a cool. the scene. You brought them. The feet. Like weird Quentin Tarantino

plants. You brought up the scene where she's cutting herself and she turns and looks at them and says

I almost I almost got it. Yeah. That is like that is like the poster of the movie. That's the one

that I think of and because it was like oh God, you know, makes your skin crawl. Yeah. But there was some other beautiful

shots in here like the scene where they find out the plants have been making the cell phone ringing sound. Mm-hmm. And they hurry up and pull both girls up the temple, and you got the scene of the binds reaching for them all around them. Right, right.

That was a cool shot. But, yeah, I do not feel sorry for any of these people, because when the locals cover up a trail and hide it, don't go. Yeah, yeah. Good point. Good point. Well, you know, I kind of thought halfway through this thing, I was like, you know, especially like once they found like the covered up trail

and then got to the pyramid, I was like they could have just as easily done this exact same thing with like some amateur archaeologist or something instead of just dumb college kids. And it would have been just as effective. Yeah. Maybe there'll be a, maybe there'll be a sequel. Maybe there'll be a sequel I don't think this one needs a sequel Yeah

Yeah it's a good stand on What's his name? Matias, Matias or whatever His two friends show up And we pretty much know their fate Right, right Well that could be the starting of the sequel, right? But it's too late now

If this was 2008 Almost 20 years ago I would make the sequel What happened when she escaped Did she spread it yeah oh that could get interesting yeah a lot of room for storytelling here they did some i mean there's definitely

world building a reason that they killed anybody that touched it sure yeah i mean it does it can spread like uh like cud cudzu brian it'll grow anywhere yeah because i that's why i assume why they killed that kid so fast because when it touches you you're you're already infected you're done huh and you could bring it back and kill the whole village. I bet that they've...

Yeah. They've had to start over many a time. But I like how they didn't explain it was the Vines right away. Because when I first watched the movie, I remember thinking, was it just going to be a standoff from them and the locals? Right. Because maybe they felt

like they were desecrating this temple or whatever. Mm-hmm. And the Vines didn't really play a factor until a little bit after that. So I like that. Yeah, it was kind of a slow reveal. Like if you knew what you were looking for,

you could see it when the, you know, the locals were flipped out as soon as, as soon as they stepped on the plans. Yeah, because they shot that one guy immediately in the chest with the arrow. I was like, oh, okay,

this is how the movie's going to go. And then you introduce the vines. And I was like, okay, I understand why they're tripping out. Yeah. And if you didn't know what you were looking for, that's,

uh, it would, it would be interesting. I like that. Hey, we got a dog. What's up, buddy? You got a guest. They wanted to hear what was going on in here.

I kept hearing him outside the door, so I let him in. Fair enough. All right. Yeah, man. I really enjoyed this one, too. I think it's a really solid, memorable horror movie. I forgot how good it was until I rewatched it. and uh and i was in in a world where we get you know like multiple horror movies a year

that just all blend together that are just all schlock that do the same things over and over um like this one is different and it was it was really good and i don't think it gets enough credit for it you don't hear about the ruins very often right but i I thought it was a really, really solid horror movie. I mean, they make some silly decisions in it and stuff, but it's like not as, it's not, you know, like, those movies were stupid teenage kids getting into some stupid horror lore thing,

and you don't ever see them in a movie again and they're garbage. This is not one of those, you know what I mean? So, I liked it. I liked it a lot. I think it had some really iconic scenes. The part where she's pulling the plants out of the cut in her leg made me like cringe. Yeah, quite a few of those.

Good makeup. Good makeup and good effects in here. And they look filthy, didn't they? Right? Like a couple of days in on top of the pyramid, caked in dirt and everything and sweat. Or I guess solid oil. And I like how it showed the. the psychological toll it took on some of them.

Like the one girl, she heard the plants whispering, and she automatically went into the whole, like, her boyfriend's fucking her friend. Oh, yeah. Because she thought they were whispering behind her back. There were some mind trickery going on from these killer buds.

Yeah. And poppy flowers. And, you know, they didn't linger too long on the, on the backstory. like at the opening like they they got there relatively quickly and got they did

going so they gave you enough of a backstory to give a shit but nothing extra and I like yeah and they still didn't even let you know it was the binds because for all you know when she got snatched it was by something else in the darkness

yeah that's true yeah they kind of built up the tension yeah All right. Let's go scores. What did Nez give it? Eight.

Nez gave it eight. Lance, what do you think? For once, I'm with Nez. Eight. Yeah. Brian? Yeah, I think eight's fair. Eight is exactly what I had in my mind.

Eight is enough. Yeah, like it's not a top tier movie, but it's right underneath it, dude. Yeah. It's really solid. It would have been on, it would have been on any. top 10 list in a year, right? Oh yeah, absolutely. Like, if you've never seen the ruins,

definitely worth the shot. And what is it on? Paramount. No, it was on Pluto. It was where I saw it. Free. Yeah. Yeah. Go watch it right now. I rented it for $3.99. God damn it.

I didn't see it on Pluto, but that's okay. I didn't feel like I got ripped off. Yeah, that was a fun one. All right. On to the brand new. Whistle from 2026. Wait. I did buy a thing.

I forgot that I had bought it. And I found my Aztec death whistle. All right. I don't know how that came through on audio. I walked outside while it was super dark in the middle of the night and blew it. started just barking and flume it out that's what I was wondering if it was like at the frequency dogs dogs can hear really well or something well it's supposed to sound like a human scream I imagine in the Amazon like in the dark and and like yeah like you're you're

journeying through the Amazon you hear this in the distance it's like oh shit I need to not be here and with the rate as the Aztecs murdered folks. Time to run. Even their own people. A misfit group of unwitting high school students stumble upon a cursed object. An ancient Aztec death whistle. They discover that blowing the whistle and the terrifying sound it emits will summon their future deaths to hunt them down.

those are like 15 bucks on amazon man like i i don't even know why i bought it i was going to buy it and put it up on the back uh like in like for the podcast and i just i never got around to it and i totally forgot where it was i found it's cool man we can see it uh director is corin hardy also known for the hallow um and the nun that was pretty oh well the hallow was Watch the hallow. I don't know that I saw the hallow. I think we reviewed it. Oh, then maybe I did.

We need to get that spreadsheet going, Brian. Writer is Owen Egerton, also known for Blood Fist. When filming the carnival scenes, it was freezing cold, and it began to snow covering the ground. the snow was edited out in the final cut. Okay. All right. Good job.

As you do. Couldn't tell it was snow there. It seems like a weird thing. Is this going to be an interesting night? Let's see. Lance, what did you think about this one? Hated it. I didn't see it, dude.

Oh, that's right. It was only showing during the day when I was working. I tried to find it through nefarious means, but I'm just not as skilled at that as I probably should be. Sailing the Seas. Brian, what about you? Do you watch it? Yeah, the premise is pretty straightforward.

They don't really explain how they get the death whistle, how it shows up at the school. But if you just go with it, it's there. they blow the whistle and the movie basically turns into final destination. Okay. Exactly final destination. Brian, does Dan Stevens show up with his piccolo? No, he doesn't.

You fucking love that movie as many times as you bring it up. But with all that being said, I didn't hate the movie. I thought the death, the death scenes were super fucking cool. Oh, fuck, okay. basically you you don't just die random ways you die how you would have died like if you were gonna get hit by a train in 30 years that's exactly how you would die and some of the death scenes were pretty fucking cool

like we'll get them to them spoilers but yeah and so like yeah so if you were gonna get hit by train like the smashed up train hit version of you would be like chasing you to the whole movie. Whoa. Yeah. So it's like the dead

man. The dead version of how they were going to die is chasing them. Okay. This movie, that's kind of a regional. For most of the death scenes, they didn't hold back. They fucking showed you.

Oh, this wasn't a PG-13 thing. Oh, no, no, no. I do have a question about the one kid. Because I think I missed something on how he died or how he was supposed to have been killed because I was like what is happening right right we get to it in spoilers

I thought the cast was serviceable you know they're just basically high school kids you got the the new kid who finds the whistle like I said no explanation on why they have the whistle at this fucking school this soon you find out soon

in the movie's very old expensive artifact but it's there they blow it okay people start dying one by one until they figure out

how very very similar to another movie which I'll say in spoilers because it kind of spoils things how they kind of foil the curse

exactly like another movie okay but I like I said I didn't have I didn't hate it it's probably not going to show up on any list at the end of the year

but if I say watch it is for the for the death scenes alone we're pretty fucking entertaining that makes it worthwhile was that kid is that the kid from school spirits have you seen that with what's her name from Cobra Car

yeah I think so is that who that is not sure I don't know sort of looks like him. I hadn't thought about it until just now. Yeah, I thought it was okay. It was a little corny,

and there was some, there was a couple of makeup things. A little corny. Well, I mean, like some of the kills were pretty awesome, and like the CGI, I thought was pretty good, but they had a couple of makeup things when they did their practicals. Not quite there.

where now I didn't go see this in the theater. And that could make a difference. Yeah, that could make a difference. But like there was one where there was like a, I guess I'm not really given anything away, but there's like an old lady, right? Like a weird old witch lady. And like there were like wrinkles on her arm

that looked like they were just like from a suit. Like an old lady's suit. Like the Halloween costume? Yeah, and I was like, oh, yeah, you didn't like, well, like that in post or something? Right. And then there's another guy at the end of the movie.

Because the only, the only, the only, the only straight white person in this movie is a, a Christian bad guy who sells drugs to minors and murders people. Okay. aside from that they they show his his little person

and like you can see the flaps on like the mask oh well what is gotta give him a little little crap man yeah so that

that got me a little bit and it it was just it was just final destination they just completely ripped off final destination okay but it was an interesting way and as a final destination movie I actually I think I like the final destination stuff better

because they go a little more on the like Rube Goldberg stuff Yes fun stuff and so this is not really that but the kills are a little more interesting because they take that concept of this is how you were going to die

and they just like speed up the time on it And so if that's how you were going to die, that's how you're fixing to die. I like that. I like that concept. Yeah. So you get hit by a bus or whatever.

You just like get hit by a bus in your bedroom, you know? Okay. And then they go through all the animations of that kind of stuff. Which is where I do have some questions, but I think that's a me thing. It's probably not a movie thing. I just missed that piece of the story because I wasn't as engaged in this movie as I probably should have been.

Well, watching it on an iPhone or whatever. It's probably not the same as... It was all right. I'm not going to remember it. It's definitely not going to make my best-of list. But it probably won't make the worst-of list either. It's a January horror movie. Kind of a math.

Okay. All right. That's where I fall on this one. I score is Brian, what do you think? Six and a half. Okay. Not bad. Mostly because of the death scenes.

Yeah, the death scenes were solid. I'll give them that. I thought the movie was shot decent enough and the actors were serviceable. Servicable. I like that. Well, they're not, the stories, the way the story goes,

it's not like anybody's going to put in like a serious acting performance. Yeah. They're here to, get cursed and die. I kind of hated them all. I was waiting for them all to get killed. Hatable characters, huh?

One of them was like a dime store or Winona Ryder. Oh, no. Yeah. Nesbo. Oh, uh, what's her name from

Deadpool and Wolverine and Logan? What? Is that the same girl? Oh, is that the X23? Okay. Oh, it's her name. it really? Oh wow, I had no idea. Yeah, no, she had like terrible bangs in this movie and she looked like, uh, you know. Uh-oh.

Yeah, she looked like she cut her own hair. 80s, 80s, 80s, angsty, Winona writer. Okay. She reminded me of. Yeah, NAS might have gone for that. Who knows. Yeah. I'm going to give it a five. Okay. That's fair. Yeah. That's what you were. were saying right in the middle. Yeah. Yeah. Right in the middle. All right. Cills are good, though. All right. I think I think on this one with the kills and all, if you guys are going into spoilers, I'm going to keep the tape running, but I'm going to piece out so I don't, I don't hear the spoilers because I'm going to try to catch this one. Okay. All right. This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. You've been fucking warned. This is a motherfucking spoiler alert.

You've been fucking warned. This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. You've been fucking warned. All right. So the one I had questions of, okay, is like the guy that gets like just shredded and like miss. How is he supposed to die? He worked at that factory and they showed that big metal grinder for scrap metal. He dies on the job by falling into the ground.

grinder. That is a shitty way to go, man. Yeah. And I thought it was cool the way they portrayed it, how he's just getting shredded, like you said, and just disintegrating into just blood and gore. Yeah, like the mist. But I thought the best one was the guy that I guess gets hit by a drunk driver. Oh, yeah. In a way his body just contorted and broke and tore up.

and he was missing part of his head. Well, his was, I think he was the drunk driver. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And that's how he dies. And so he, like, he gets, like, just levitated in the middle of his own bedroom and just, like, arms break into bits, like, stranger things kind of style. Yeah, that was pretty cool. The Nick Frost one was okay, where he dies by cancer from Smok.

and he just rapidly deteriorates his body from cancer. Oh, yeah. Well, see, and it didn't click that that's what was happening until, for me, until the old lady one. Yeah.

And I was like, oh, because they were like she's going to die of old age. Yeah, that one didn't look. That one didn't look too good. Yeah, so was that just me or like, because it looked like she was wearing like an old lady suit and you could see like wrinkles in the fabric of the

suit and I was like what are we doing? Yeah, I think there was supposed to be the wrinkles of her skin but it looked like a suit that she was wearing. Yeah, and I had to look at it a few times. I'm like maybe I'm wrong here and it's just not a good quality video that I'm watching. But that one stood out to me. And then when they did it again with the like fucking cowboy

anime-looking guy. Oh, yeah. And, like, I guess, I don't know why his face was all swollen. Why was his face all swollen? How was he going to die? I don't know. It didn't make any sense

because he, like, started shooting himself and then he had bullet holes, but I don't know why his face was all swollen. But, like, there were, like, flaps on his neck. I don't know. Does he die by shooting himself? Is that? or does he die in a shootout?

I don't know. It doesn't really make any sense because he was shooting the thing that was chasing him and getting catching bullet holes there. They played a little, a little fast and loose with that one. Yeah, because that one, everyone else is pretty self-explanatory. The one by cancer, old age,

the grinder, which you didn't know, but I explained it, and it makes a little bit more sense now. and then the drunk driving one. Yeah, that was a cool. The one girl that survives, hers was a seizure. Oh, yeah, which is why she was all moving weird. Yeah, which the movie I felt like they ripped off how they foiled the curse was a screen two.

Or not screen two, smile to. Smile to? Where they killed, kill themselves and bring themselves back. Well, they also did that in Final Destination. Yeah, I was going to say, didn't they do that exact same thing in Final Destination, where she, like, drowned herself and they brought her back. I didn't even think about it. I think it was the second one.

Yeah, I think it was. That's what I was like, because as soon as they started talking about the loophole, I was like, this is already a Final Destination movie. Are you just going to straight rip it off? And yep. And this movie moves fast. Yeah. Because everybody gets convinced of the curse really fast.

really fast. There's like one person that doubts it, but he comes on board super quick after that. And then they figure out the loophole like immediately. Yeah. Because they talk to what's her name from Game of Thrones the Caitlin Stark. Oh yeah. I forgot she was in it. Yeah. And then the the fat guy from fucking Sean of the Dead.

Nick Frost. Yeah. Yeah. He's pretty good in it. I mean, he's only there for a minute, but. Yeah. I mean, there's nothing more to really spoil. Yeah.

Straight, you know, if I would have known that, I could have just paired this movie up with the Final Destination or Final Destination like movie. Yeah. It's a straight up paint by numbers, Schla, horror movie. Yeah. And it does a good job of what it is.

And so I can't complain. I guess. Yeah, if anything, like I said, you watch it for mainly the drunk driving kill and the scrap metal grinder kill because I thought those visuals were

super cool looking. Yeah, it knows what it is and it leans into it and it does have some good kills. Yeah. So, can't complain. You know what? I'm going to go five and a half. I'm bringing up a little bit.

because the kills are pretty solid especially the grinder one that was good that was what grabbed my attention I was like oh shit I wasn't really paying a whole lot of attention before this that is the shittiest way to die yeah like that or the way they portrayed it too

didn't seem like if eventually when he died like that he didn't die all the way like his arm got caught first yeah like little bits of him going at a time. Yeah. Like feet first into a wood chipper. Like how awful would that be?

All right. All right. Well, that's it. As always, we want to thank you for listening to another episode of The Horror Returns. We'd love to hear your feedback and ideas. You can always reach us at thehorrorterns

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But go check that out too. Give us a like, leave a comment, do all the things that people tell you to do. Next week, it's Fungle. horror with the girl with all the gifts. Oh, that's a good one. And the brand new cold storage. I don't know what that is. That's with

Steve from Stranger Things. Oh, yeah. The main girl from Barbarian. Okay. And Liam Neeson shows up for some reason. Liam Neeson. Somebody's been taken. He's got a special set of skills. So until

horror return. again good good