The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #514: Everly (2014) & They Will Kill You (2026)

Episode Date: April 3, 2026

It's badass chicks week! Cool of the week includes Dolly, For All Mankind, and baseball. Trailers are Apex, The End of Oak Street, and Backrooms. The podcast spotlight shines on The Final Girl and Guy. And we get feedback from Pat Caruso, Ryan Be, Xim Vader, and Mark Komarzynski. Thanks for listening!    

Regings victims, for those of you who delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify gore, welcome. You have found the place where the horror returns. Listeners beware. This podcast contains major plot spoilers. and the foulest of language join us in celebrating the old and the new

the best and the worst in horror all right welcome back everyone to the horror returns I'm Lance and with me as always Brian and Philip what's going on guys

that's your smooth radio voice is that what it is kind of got a little quiet there I'm drinking mountain dew, Baja blast, tropical limon. I don't know if that has anything to do with it, but, uh, yeah, man, I've been just fucking out of it the last couple of days, guys, falling asleep. I was, I worked from home. AJ doesn't get it, dude.

She, she was off today, and I'm working from home, and she's in there. Hey, let's go to the store. I'm working I'm working and she would go ballistic if I went up and did that to her at her store but because I'm working from home I guess the rules are different

you guys ever dealt with that before yeah not so much the working from home thing but the they don't get it what you do for a living yeah well fuck guys somebody's got to bring this show up a notch I'm falling asleep in my chair

who's gonna do it Brian what you got man You want me to go through my list first? Fuck, yes. Yeah, because I got to think about it. I always forget until we get on the show and I go, oh, shit, and have a little moment of panic. All right. But it always works out.

Let's start with TV. I cut the first, I think two or three episodes of the new Netflix show. Something very bad is going to happen. Ah, okay. This is from the Dufor Duffer, Duffer, Dufher Brothers. Okay. But is it though? But is it though?

Because I saw something on IMDB. Okay. Yeah, because it was like a 21-year-old chick or something. That's the showrunner. I'm like, what? Yeah. We watched the first episode, Brian. Yeah, I think the show so far to me is doing a very good job of creating atmosphere

and letting you know something really bad, possibly fucked up is going to happen. Mm-hmm. Because the basic premise is this couple's getting really. married, the wife's going to the, or the bride's going to the groom's cabin to meet the family. And I'm assuming that's where the ceremony is going to happen. Right. And you can safely say the family is a little bit strange. Yeah, I saw that first episode where you're meeting the weird siblings that were like all in

the kitchen or whatever hanging out. Yeah. Even the events getting to the cabin, they're a little. little car ride and their little stop at the convenience store was like super weird and strange. Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm. So I don't know if there's going to be a supernatural element to this or not, but it's a good one. It's definitely, yeah, you're right, Lance.

It's not written or directed by the doofers, duffers, whatever their name is. Right, right. But I'm enjoying it so far. They're James wanting it, Brian? well I know they got a deal with Paramount so I don't know

how many too many Netflix shows they're going to be doing yeah it's uh yeah I'm intrigued by the first episode does it get more tense or

is it just kind of more okay cool yeah that's weird they found like that baby in the truck that's got left alone yeah and we never really got we got the husbands

explanation on what happened with the baby after that, but we don't really know what happened with the baby. Weird. Yeah, I'll keep watching it, I think. Yeah, movies. I saw the mortuary assistant on Shudder. Yeah, what'd you think, man? You can skip it.

I got that impression from the cover art. I was really intrigued because I kept hearing a lot of, things about it. I don't know if it's one of those things because it's based off a video game that you had to have played the game and then you'll get some kind of... Okay. Yes, that makes sense. ...mastolic feeling for it.

Right. But I never played the game and I thought the movie was boring. It seemed like I've seen the premise before uh-huh. With the whole

mortuary assistant, working late night at a mortuary and weird shit happens. a thousand times we've seen that Brian so you can skip this one I mean if you already have shutter check it out because you're paying for shutter get your money's worth out of it

yes indeed indeed if you're like oh I'm going to get shuttered to watch this I would save your money or find something else to watch okay I've got one of those tonight but we'll get there next up

I think we reviewed the trailer for this one, this is not a test about the zombie apocalypse happening. Absolutely. I'm a little excited about this one actually. I can skip this one too. Oh no. It's not bad. It's not bad, it's just nothing new.

Okay. I mean, it's zombie apocalypse happens. A group of kids barricades themselves in a high school. Bruttle Brian. Brian is back, Philip. I just haven't been... Uh-huh. You're being honest is what it is.

Yeah, I just haven't been excited for anything out lately. Understandable. So, but it's not a bad movie. There's practical effects in there that were pretty decent. The acting was pretty decent. It's just the same kind of zombie apocalypse plight that you've already seen. A hundred times. Yeah.

Too bad. Let's see. Checked out forbidden fruits. This one's in the theaters. This one is the best way to compare it. It's mean girls meets the craft. Oh, gosh. Okay.

You're not selling us yet. And this one, not a bad movie either, but it's not for me. It was a little too more, too much mean girls, not enough craft, not enough witch shit going on. I'd say check it out if you got, if you're younger. I don't know. I kind of felt too old to be watching it. Okay.

Let me ask you this, Brian. Was it like super modern, right? Like everybody's scrolling through their phones. They're talking about AI. Was it like that? Was that the problem? Are we just too old? Are you guys familiar with Diablo Cody?

Yes. Jennifer's body and Juno? I love her. She produced this. Okay. But the person who wrote it was trying to be like her with the dialogue. Oh, no. Yeah, yeah.

If you're insincere about that but just trying to copy, you know what I'm saying? Like, for example, who's that filmmaker that I do not like at all? Eli Ra. No, not him. We'll talk about him later. The one Jack Falvey is related to through marriage, remember? Oh, Joe Biggos. Yeah, Joe Begos.

He's obviously just aping. All he's doing is fucking aping, you know, like Rob Zombie language in all his movies. Like, you fucking cunt, fuck you, fuck you. That was a couple of his movies. His earlier movies weren't like that. Yeah, I guess, I guess. Yeah, but for what you're describing, it just sounds like maybe this writer is not as talented, but trying to ape the vibe of

yeah it made me look it out because I was like I'm pretty much positive she only produced it or was an executive producer and didn't write it and she didn't write it and it just kind of felt like somebody was trying to emulate her work and it just wasn't coming off like those other movies so yeah because you can you can have a style and it comes across great if you have a gift of writing

Right? But if you try the same style, like with, you know, way too many curse words or I'm guessing a lot of like cute little, little modern type sayings or something she would interject in. Oh, yeah. You don't have the chops. Yeah, there was stuff that even my youngest daughter would probably roll her eyes at. Rolling her eyes. Like the writer was writing stuff down and was like, do people still say this? I think they do. I'm going to put it in the movie. just start making up words by the time the movie comes out they might be popular

who knows you never know there was a couple times I'm pretty sure they made something up for the movie but my cool the week will have to go to the retro slasher dolly no kidding

I had a lot of I had a lot of fun with it it's very Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Okay. So it lives up to the hype. There's some homages to,

especially with specific scenes in the movie. Okay. But spoilers, this is not a Stifler movie. I know he's in the trailer. I didn't think it would be. Yeah, I figured

I figured he might have four minutes of screen time. He's in the movie in the beginning and in the end, but not much. Okay, so he's not killed off in four minutes time then. No. Huh.

That's a guy's in a... But it's very, very Texas Chansome Masker. Like I said, there was some scenes that they paid homage to in the movie that they took from the original movie. Mm-hmm. And it's got some practical effects. A couple of moments I felt were a little CGI, but not too bad, especially with the budget. because it was obviously a low-budget movie. And I've seen the director today on Instagram.

I guess he posted somebody offered to acquire the franchise from him. Mm-hmm. But he is turning them down. Hey, that's a feather in his cap. And, you know, maybe he would have done better just to sell it off and take that paycheck, but he cares about his art. So that says a lot, don't you think, Philip? Yeah.

That's true. Give them some credit. And there was a short film that he made that inspired this that I checked out called Baby Girl. It's under four minutes. It's basically a prequel to this movie. Gotcha. And I will post that in the Facebook group if anybody wants to check it out. Nice. Yeah, I'll check it out, and then I'll watch Dolly. I was kind of wondering. I didn't know if it was going to be, what did you think, Phil? up like two Texas chainsaw mask her on the nose

like to the point of being schlocky is that what you were worried about uh maybe a little I don't know I gotta check it out where's it where is it streaming it is on VOD right now but it will be on shutter tomorrow or next week I'm not 100% positive but it'll be on shutter this month cool yeah let's check it out and that's all I got I got nothing. I don't think I watched anything at all.

Yeah, that's something. Cowboys, Cowboys about to start training again or something. I caught a stand-up performance on Netflix and I can't remember what it was. Oh, no. It's been a long week. You want me to go and come back and maybe you'll think of something?

Yeah, you can go if you want. Maybe I'll jar your memory. I don't think I watched anything this week. Not even any Grey's Anatomy reruns or, Love Island. Well, yeah, my wife had Love Island on in the background. That definitely... All right.

I'm going to write it down. If you don't think it's something else, you're stuck. You're not watching that, uh, isn't there like a new one coming out about a cruise ship or something? It's like Love Island, but it's on like a cruise ship. And I guess you have to actually jump off the boat when you get eliminated or something. I don't know. Oh, man, I was about to make a joke about that.

Were you? Jump off. walk the plank when they kick them off. Oh, now that I'd pay to see. Yeah, that sounds entertaining. Yeah. Oh, man. All right, I'm going to, let's see if I can't jog your memory, Philip, okay?

Okay. Maybe something I'll touch on. Well, let's get the shit out of the way first, okay? Brian, you were talking about something that was not too great. So you guys have seen Salt Burn, right? I have not. I have, yeah. What'd you think, Philip?

It's all right. Wasn't what I expected it to be. No, not at all, right? Like it pulls the rug out for Monday in that last act, right? So, yeah, I really enjoyed it. And I thought, okay, well, cool. So the director of Salt Burn, she's directed something else. And it's based on a famous work and, you know, it's got to be good, right?

Is this weather and heights? Oh, God, save your fucking time, dude. Jesus Christ, this thing was just like two hours and 20 minutes. It felt like 24 days. This thing was absolutely nothing, but just these two idiots, whispering sweet nothings to each other. The one dude that played Ash from Star Trek Discovery, he was the husband that married this chick and i guess she was in love with heathcliff the young fellow

young lad named heathcliff that was taken in uh by the family because he was a street urchin or something like that right and so he falls in love with the young girl there that's a bit creepy to begin with don't you think because that's basically your step-sister if you want to get technical you know i don't know give me the heby-jeebies but then she's margot robbie by the way if you're wondering who plays uh katherine i think was her name and uh frankenstein yes jacob a lordy oh they man ugh so yeah the dude that played ash and star trek discovery or yeah star trick discovery he's he margobo roby's character and he's immediately cuckolded by his heathcliff's

sneaks in. And he tells her, you're forbidden from seeing Heathcliff ever again. Oh, God, oh, please no. Yes, you're forbidden. Oh, God, oh, please no. The next scene, she's opening the front door and he's coming. And the guy, the cock guy is just over there, looking around the corner. I think a Lance broke himself. Seems like a good way to get murdered. It's so bad. I was wondering, is this the actual story? Or did they embellish it?

You know? Well, I knew this movie wasn't good. It was like in the theater for like a week. That was about a week too long. Man, this was bad. And I like period pieces. I really do. I like movies that are set in the past.

But this, uh, isn't this one of those movies that's been made like two or three times? At least, yeah. Yeah, at least. Um, and then if it's not, I was not bad. I was in no danger of watching any of them. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, stay. Yeah, we'll continue to stay out of danger, man, because this is garbage. All right. As Nes would say, trash. All right. I did, I finally start to get caught up with a third season of squid games. I'm digging it. I'm digging it.

It'd all been one season. Okay. Yeah. Well, that's what I was wondering. Um, does it drag a lot, Brian? Is that the problem? I'm only two episodes. in. No, it was just pointless to split it up. It was a money grab for people that

cancel their subscription and wait until the next season comes and then renews. So no big, no big things that are revealed like in the last three episodes versus the first three then? You know what? I don't really remember. I don't really remember either. I was just thinking that. Well, I can't remember how it is. Well, they had that game. It was kind of fun. We're half the team, or the one team got keys to unlike doors and the other team got knives. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was pretty cool. Yeah, but we'll see.

We'll see how the intrigue goes. I'll definitely finish it. I finally watched the final episode of Stranger Things. As I might start calling it Stranger, Mayings. Yeah. I don't think anybody died. Nobody died. Nobody died.

was not awesome. I don't even know what happened in the last half of the movie, because it felt like Lord of the Rings, how it just kept going to different endings. Oh, that's a good point. I don't even know. I don't even know what was being said

actually even happened or if it was Mike's head because he, like, became a writer or something. That's a good point. I'm like, are you fucking making this shit out? Yeah. Once, I don't even think I watched the very end of it, like, where they start, like, wrap... Really? You tapped down early.

Once it was, like, done, and they started, like, wrapping things up. And they kept going to, like... Yes. Oh, here's what everybody's doing in the future. I don't fucking care. You know what was... You know what was... You know what was better than this ending?

What's that? When they all reprised their characters on S&L. Yeah. Oh, okay. I got to check that out. And they were talking about doing cocaine and... all kinds of stuff. So I caught the wrong finale. I should have caught the S&L skit, you're saying.

Well, the S&L skit could be like if they all met up a couple years after the events and met up in New York to have like a get-together. I got you. I got you. Yeah. Well, it was okay. I'm glad it's over. I'm glad I'm finally going to finish Squid Games.

I finally finished season two of Gangs of London. that show's pretty damn good now that's one where you really don't know who they're going to kill off which keeps it interesting but yeah nobody's safe nobody's safe and season three is up on amc now have you guys seen it yet not yet okay i haven't watched it at all

well yeah when i finish squid game i'll jump into that season three but my cool of the week is the return of one of my favorite television new television shows of all time and it's called for all mankind ties in very nicely with the Artemis rocket that we got to see launch live from our backyard yesterday. Isn't that cool? Yeah. So season five, it takes place.

Of course, you guys know the show is an alternate history, and it imagines what would have happened if the Russians had landed on the moon first, and basically people actually care about the space program and actually put money into NASA. And so it's the 2010s now. So they've voted out President Gore And they've got like a new president in place And the Mars colony, they're starting to be trouble Oh, there's trouble on Mars.

There's a revolution brewing Because they get them all the way to Mars And then tell me if this is familiar, if you like sci-fi. All of a sudden they found out they're not paying them But they promised them they were going to pay them And in order to get home, they've got to give up like They're going to work three years to make enough money to get home. Oh, oh.

But I'm digging it, man. I'm digging it. I love this alternate history stuff. Yeah. Y'all should check it out if you get a chance. But start at the very beginning. And I have finally officially become a Joel Kinneman fan. Because he's the one actor that's been the common thread from season one episode one to now.

And he's like an 80-year-old dude on Mars now and just fucking crotchety and grouchy. It's a lot of fun. for all mankind, cool of the week. He's pretty solid in things he's in. He is, man. Even if the movie or the show is not that great, he's pretty reliable as an actor. I would agree.

I have become a fan. Do you think of anything, Philip, or is it Love Island? A kid's baseball game, I don't know. There you go. Baseball. Oh, baseball is back. Pedro's going nuts on that. Yeah.

All right. Brian, got any horror headlines for us, man? Yes, we're going to start with some TV news. Brian Cox. Good old Brian Cox.

Oh, yeah. Has joined the cast of Dexter Resurrection Season 2. He will play the New York Ripper, a former serial killer whose past terror still hunts New York setting up a major new threat

for the next chapter. I like that a lot. Okay. Peter Dinklage was phenomenal. All my worries about how he was going to fit into the Dexter timeline. You guys remember that? Yeah, he fit right in there, didn't he? He was spot on, dude.

Let's see. AMC, Lance, has officially canceled, officially canceled, Talamazka, the Secret Order. Thank God. That's the other one I watched. I was curious, but it does look stupid. You don't need to be curious about this one, dude. It's only like six episodes, so I assume they're not doing a season two, Brian.

No, that is officially done, but the universe will continue. Yes, not that show. And they're changing the TV show interview with a vampire to the vampire Lestat, by the way. for season three. So we're finally going to get that Lastad as a rock star storyline from the books, which I've really never seen on film because Queen of the Dam, they hinted at it, like they showed him singing in the intro and stuff, but they never went to the whole storyline. So I'm pretty excited for it.

That was my favorite part of the books, actually, when he was the rock star. He could do like as much cocaine as he wanted and never get hung over or go through withdrawals or anything. it's like, ah! Let's see. The Sydney Sweeney's The House Maid is officially getting a sequel titled The House Made Secret.

Is Sidney Sweeney returning alongside Kirsten Dunst? Not a fan of the first one? Yeah, liked it a lot more than me, so. Well, I mean, it's Sidney Sweeney. Yeah, I mean, I don't mind seeing her top. but holy moly that to me that that just kind of a boring movie y'all you enjoyed it a lot though right

Pedro said it was top ten or something didn't he I don't think he said top ten I think he just said he enjoyed it okay yeah probably not top ten it's a it's a decent little thriller it's not definitely not horror shout out to yeah shout out to nez it's not horror let's see your your boy Lance

Eli Roth, new horror film, Ice Cream Man, officially hit theaters August 7th, and he said this will be more crazier and vicious than any movie he's done. People will be running out of the theater with barf bags and passing out in the aisles, right? Yeah, paramedics and everything. Opa David Lee Roth makes a guest appearance.

He might. Ice cream man. Well, stop. You're going to pass you by. Speaking of music, I thought this was interesting. You guys know Nas, right? The rapper. Sure, of course.

He is executive producing Ice Cream Man. What? In a joint venture. I don't know if he's going to be doing music for it, but... Right. Was he the one that was involved in... No, it wasn't him. Who was doing the Fire Festival thing?

that was Joe Roe. Oh, Joe Roe. Oh, God. I was like, oh, a comeback. Okay. Yeah. Don't call it a comeback. Let's see.

Jennifer's Body 2. Speaking of Diablo Cody is officially in the works. She is currently writing the sequel. And Amanda Sigfried and Megyn Fox are returning to the movie as they should. Okay. Lights Out 2 is officially back in development with James Wan's company Atomic Monster producing

Okay Well he Because he just produced the first one right? Or did he direct it? I think it was just New Line I don't think he had anything to do with the first one Oh okay The first one was all right

Yeah Not bad Yeah Just another movie James his one slapping his name on. Yeah. Let's see. Radio Silence is The Mummy 4 with Brendan Fraser

gets a August 2026 release date. Oh, no, sorry. We're excited about that one. Sorry, not release date. They will go into production in August. Oh, big difference. Okay, okay.

Well. Sorry, my mistake. We can wait. We can wait. We're all excited about this, aren't we? Yeah. Yeah. I like the Mummy franchise

and you're bringing everybody back. I like Radio Silence as directors, and they're saying they're going mostly practical. Right? Yeah. What's not to like, right? I'll take that. I'm kind of looking forward to this new Mummy movie.

We'll see how it goes. Yeah, it's got an interesting concept. Lake Cronin. Yeah. Micah Monroe says they follow the It Follows sequel will officially be her next project. All right. Hmm.

What's wrong, Philip? Do we need a sequel? Probably not. It still follows. Is that what's going to be called? Well, I kind of want to know what happens at the end. Was it really following them? Or was that just somebody in the background walking?

When her friend banged the prostitute, did he pass it off far enough? I don't know, man. Good point. Some questions might be answered, right? Mm-hmm. Tim Davis should be happy about this news. Jessica Ross says, Happy Death Day 3 is just a matter of when.

Director Christopher Landon has the story ready, and it's all about timing. Yes, yes. I'm excited. Love the second one. That wacky 80s time travel. Like, I love the first was fun, but that second one was just a lot.

of fun for me. Like, I'd like to see where they go on the third one. You guys both enjoyed the first two, didn't you? Yeah, I got to rewatch the second one. I kind of don't remember. I remember the wacky scenario when they found a time travel device and how shit was kind of just going crazy, but I don't really remember. I predict.

Yeah, I predict two or three of those movies that came out all at the same time. I can remember exactly. Yeah, freaky and all that. But I predict that this one's going to go into quantum physics. I could be wrong, but that's my guess. We'll see. Let's see. Evil Dead Burn, the next Evil Dead movie hits Theatres July 24th.

Well, that's coming up, considering I have not seen any trailers or anything. No kidding. I haven't either, now that you mention it. They've been keeping this one under wraps. Okay. Is that a good thing or a bad? thing. I like the director's movie. Did do we review it or did we just talk about it

and infested the French movie with the spiders? With the spiders? Oh yeah, we reviewed that one. We reviewed it. Yeah. Yeah. I haven't gotten to it yet on the spreadsheet, I think, but we reviewed it. Yeah, that's the director of this one. Okay. And all he said, this

one's going to hurt. It should, yeah. Evil Dead, right? Are they going to have the characters from Ashford? versus the evil dead, though. That's who I want to see. Oh, this is all into the same thing. Because they said Sam Ramey wrote a Bible for everybody that's directing an evil dead movie to follow off of. So it all is in the same continuity.

A Bible. One might say a Necronomicon. This is the evil dead sexually transmitted disease. And it burns. A few more things here. this one is you can file this under who asked for it but Blumhouse is remaking the Blair Witch Project and it's allegedly found its director in first time feature film director Dylan Clark I thought they had already remade it and it turns out it was aliens instead of witches remember that was a sequel to the

original one ah okay okay that was rough That's a great, was it? How are they going to remake this? They're going to get somebody else to stand in a corner. I don't know, man. This seems like a bad idea. But I'm sure we'll be there to watch it. Oh, yeah.

No doubt. The bitch that we may, huh? What are you remaking it for? Yeah, I know. Let's see. Gladys, the prequel to weapons, is a, officially happening. Okay.

Not a big surprise after, was it, Amy Madigan? Sure, she won the Oscar. Yeah. Oh, okay. Didn't see that one coming. Yeah. By her reaction, I don't think she thought it was coming either. She kind of looked at her husband, like, did I just win?

Did Aunt Gladys just win Oscar for Best Supporting? Oh, yeah. No, there's no way she could have been expecting that, man. And you know what's funny is in my Oscar Pickham game that I did? I'll have you know I came in first place in my group. Thank you very much. But Bede and some other people were in there with me. But I will tell you this, I picked her, and I knew she wouldn't win.

But also pick Senors for Best Picture, and that didn't win. But, you know, what are you going to do? I'm just got to go with your heart. It got some awards, though. Oh, yeah, for sure. I like that moment when Michael B. Jordan won Best actor. Oh, yeah. You can tell the other nominees were legit, like, legitimately happy for him.

Well, he's done a lot of good roles, you know, I mean, think of Creed and all that. We easily could have been nominated, but you get two Michael B. Jordans. What do you get, you know? Right, Philip? Basically, two for the price of one. By that logic, Eddie Murphy should have won. Yeah, true. Ed and Murphy's for the Clums.

Michael Keaton or Michael Keaton for multiplicity. Well, that's a great movie. That was not bad. And to finish up, horror headlines, we got some scream news. Screen 7 is the first Scream movie to officially cross over $200 million. Making a most successful one. They're going to keep on making them, I assume. That's a nice segue, Phil, because Scream 8 is officially in development.

but good news Kevin Williamson will not be back to direct or write hmm well have you guys seen the peacock show Pokerface yeah I love it the writers of poker face the writers of poker face are writing the script for scream 8 which will mark the first time sister team Lila and Nora Zuckerman

will pin the script marking the first time women have written a film in the franchise. Okay. I mean, sure, why not, right? Pokerface is pretty awesome. That show was actually, wasn't that actually created, though, by the Knives Out director? What's his name, Ryan Johnson? Yeah, wasn't that a Ryan Johnson original?

Like, I think he wrote and directed the first two episodes and then kind of handed it over, if I remember correctly. he might have James Wan did I think he did a Juan but I think he really did he definitely wrote and directed the first episode I think maybe the first couple but yeah

people are furiously looking it up right now and yelling at me for being completely wrong but I'm pretty sure about that I know screen 7 is probably going to be in all three of our bottom tens this year but this is promising because they brought

they brought screen back when radio then when they hired radio silence right to all new story the radio guys the radio silence guys have been like on top of it yeah except that one

the one yeah I know I'm glad they moved on I'm glad they didn't do the new screen movie quite frankly you know I much prefer ready or not too I'm kind of intrigued on what their Scream 7 movie would have been because they did write a script for it.

Well, it would have been better. They said it would have been meaner than the previous two they did. Well. But we'll never know. Last was pretty mean, dude. I felt like I was being tortured having to watch it, that's for sure. I think your score was mean.

I still can't believe you think. I know what you did last summer was a better movie Oh no I don't call myself saying that You're gonna have to play the tape back on that one Brian Well if I compare scores Yeah fair enough

Okay yeah I probably factored in the audience The Florida man audience Audience experience Because this screen I saw with no one else in the theater Or no I think a couple of kids were in there or something in front of me. But that first was just a bunch of people yet laughing and yelling at how terrible

that I know what you did last summer movie was. Yelling at the scream, throwing popcorn. I had some yelling in my theater experience this week. That was my not cool week. Did you? Oh, what happened, man? Fucking, like, we were the only ones that showed up for a little while. Right?

And then, like, 20 minutes into the movie, some lady brings her like two kids in there. It never fails. Shining flashlights. It never fails. It will not stop talking. And I was like, young kids? I'm going to have to say something.

Yeah, too young to be in this movie. And I was like, I'm going to have to get up and say something. I don't want to, but I'm going to have to. This is ridiculous. Like there's somebody is shining a phone flashlight on the back of my head in the middle of the fucking movie. You got to say something. They don't have ushers anymore.

I mean, they got the young people that come in that walk in and turn around and walk back out. And then finally these kids are still like talking. And I thought it was just kids at first. And then I finally heard the mom go, shut the fuck up. That's great, man. And so she at least half-ass got him under control. Oh, Jesus Christ, man. Have you?

Wow. Hey, we're in a movie theater. You ever been to fucking one? What are we doing? Right. They were probably just trying to stay out of the Galveston heat for the day, probably skipping from theater to theater inside there, you know? Yeah, I don't know, man.

It was wild. Crazy. All right, that is horror headlines. All right, so now it's time to go to the trailer park. Brian is going to bring us the big, the small, and, of course, sometimes the very, very weird. What's our first new trailer, Brian? Let's see.

The first one is going to be, we're going to go to Netflix for the first one, and it is a new survival horror thriller titled Apex. Hmm. Short for Apex Predator, I assume. Yeah, starring Charlize Theron, Taryn Aetiton, Eric Bona, and directed by... Oh, Eric Bona. Baltazar. Lothorio.

That's not a real name. What did you guys take at Apex? These movies are fun, right? I sure didn't recognize Charlize Theron. She looks goddamn good for her age, man. Holy moly. I thought that was like a college age girl, man. And was that the Kingsman, right?

Yeah. Yeah, that was the one you said Terry Edgerton, and I was like, oh, that's who that was. because I knew I recognized him. I just couldn't put my finger on it. Look, don't expect any deep revelations, don't expect any big twist. It'll just be a fun movie.

That's my takeaway. Yeah, I'm expecting Taryn Edgerton to be as wacky as possible in this movie. Just by that scene when he plays the song, and then you got to the end of this song to get away. Yeah. Right. Kind of like Dangerous Animals Parked You, huh? Yeah.

I don't remember saying Eric. He's going to do that. He's going to pull the dangerous animals thing and just play it as nuts as possible. I don't remember seeing Eric Bonner in the trailer. Me neither. Oh, I only remember seeing the two people in the trailer. Yeah. Maybe he'll be the park ranger that comes in at the end or something.

Oh, maybe this is Netflix. Isn't he like on a detective show that happens in a park? Yeah, he's like Yellowstone. I can't remember the name of it. It's pretty good. Oh, my God. They're going to tie it in. It's super slow, but it's good.

Is it? Cross over. They're going to tie it in, Philip. I'd watch that. All right, Apex hits Netflix, April 24th. And our next one is from Warner Brothers. This is the end of Oak Street, starring Anne Hathaway, Ewan McGrega.

And directed by, we talked about him earlier uh it follows director david robert mitchell and produced by j j abrams which automatically made the internet say this is a secret cloverfield movie funny well it looked like a dinosaur or some shit there at the end right it yeah yeah i'm kind of i understand the the neighborhood gets some cosmic event happens and transports the neighborhood the entire neighborhood into somewhere unknown. I have a theory. Cloverfield.

That's not my theory. Alternate dimension? Alien ant farm, dude. Yeah, the aliens pick up, you saw the weird light coming through the window at the beginning, just like the Blair Witch movie. Yeah, dude, the fucking alien ant farm all day long. I guarantee you, they picked up the town, set it down on their planet or in their museum or whatever. and they'd also grab some dinosaurs

and maybe they can travel not only through space but also time so maybe they can go grab dinosaurs from Earth and then mix them with modern day people and play with them like a sim game and then they'll pull some like winged beast aliens down from another planet just to have fun with them

and then the volcanoes will start going off that's exactly what this is I think we'll see that actually sounds pretty cool it does also a great band. Totally underrated. Yeah. Right. Well, for one album. Yeah, they did a good remake of a Michael Jackson song, right?

I was going to say that's the only song I heard. Right. Yeah, they had three or four of them off that one. They're good. That's true. I don't know if they did anything after that. What do you think, Phil? Yeah, I mean, I think it looks super cool. It's very like Spielberg-esque. That's true. Yeah.

We'll see. Like, I got a, I got a. like a fun Jurassic Parky kind of vibe from it. Anne Hathaway looked great. It looks like big, epic, turn off your brain, summer blockbuster. There you, yeah. All right. Hits theaters August 14th.

Yeah, there it is. It makes some money. It's original. I like it. Yeah. Our final trailer is A24's Backrooms, directed by Kane Parsons. starring, give me a second here.

Chewytel Edgillophor. Love that. Lukita Maxwell, Renat, Reynzao. I think that's a French name. I probably butchered it. Finn Bennett. What did you guys think of the background? Now, I've seen his Internet short series.

Okay, yeah, I thought I remember you talking about it. Yeah, and my daughter was talking to me about it, and she was telling me there's like a whole mythology he's built with this. And he's a young director because he got this 824 deal like a couple years ago, and I think he's just now 21. Oh, wow. So he was doing all this like in his teenage years. The young prodigy. What did you guys think of the backrooms? I'm stoked about this one.

I think it looks good. Really? Yeah. So was the dude that was spraying for ants at our house today. He says, hey, dude, how's the podcast going, man? He comes every three months to spray. We have a lot of bugs here in Florida. Oh, okay. So he's like, man, that movie backrooms, does that look fucking killer? And I'm like, yeah, it looks pretty killer.

You know, give me some of that ant poison you're sniffing, man. Dude was really excited, man. The only thing different about this since the web series is I don't remember, I got to rewatch it. It's been a while since I watched it. I don't remember the person being able to come in and out of the back rooms. Oh, you mean once you're in, you're in? Yeah. Huh.

I kind of like this because it sort of looks like nobody believes him at first and he like drags somebody in there. Yeah, because he's got that scene where he's going through therapy, talking about it. even the therapist is kind of like, oh, sure. But is, but is he outside the rooms? Ah. Good point.

So there's two things. I can't say the guy's name, Chewytle, Edgillfor, whatever there's name. I love that, right? I love him. I love him in everything that he's in.

I can't wait. Like, I don't know how he didn't get bigger. Right? Yeah. Well, there were two, there were two things I thought of. of when I saw this.

One was severance, right? You've seen the show. I know you've seen it, Brian, on Apple TV. Yeah, I've seen some of it. And, you know, they've got those rooms, like in the office they work in, that you keep turning down, turn left, left, left, right, left, left, and you come back, you're the same spot you were in when you started, and you just can't get out of there.

So there was that, and then there was another... It's like an IKEA store. Like an IKEA store? Is that what you said? Like an IKEA store. Ikea store. Like, fuck, how do I get out of here? Yeah, for sure, man.

Yeah, I have been in an IKEA store. I know what you're talking about. Okay. And then there was a book I read. I can't remember the name of it, damn it. But it was about a dude. They made a terrible Kevin Bacon movie about it. But the guy, he went in and measured the inside of his house from one

into the other, and it was so many feet long. And then he went out and measured the outside of his house in the same wall. And it was much, much, much, much. shorter and then he found like a secret passageway and he opened it and it kind of kept going and kept going and kept going house of leaves the book was called house of leaves so i got a house of leaves vibe and a severance vibe here so i don't know it's 824 right it's got to yeah got to have a shot at least it'll be original we'll see and i think i'm going to put this on the schedule with the web series because i think if you watch all the videos it's like

like a thing like an hour, hour and a half. Now, Brian, you're not getting us into another, you're not getting us into another death note now, are you, Brian? I don't think that was my fault. I think, didn't the listener want us to watch Death Note, the anime series, all 700 episodes of the first season? That's my sister's favorite anime thing. She's a big anime kid, and so she was like,

I was so disappointed when you guys hated it. I think we're going to get into that and feedback tonight too. I don't remember hating it. I just remember hating that there was so many episodes. Yeah, I think that was it. It was like, we tried to watch the whole thing, and it was like, when is this going to be over?

It was a slug. Because there was an anime my son was watching. I was like, oh, I'm going to watch this with you. How many episodes? And he was like, 300. And I was like, the series? And he was like, no, the season.

I was like, never mind. Never mind. What the hell? Unbelievable. Japanese and their myth. All right. Backrooms. Death note and kamikaze pilots.

Right. Backrooms hits theaters May 29th. So next month. All right. This is broken again. Japanese and their. math. No,

Kamikaze pilots. They like fed them meth. They're just overachievers, man. They're just overachievers. All right. All right. On to listener feedback.

This week, we shine the podcast spotlight on the final girl and guy. A show where Amanda and Ryan review and discuss latest horror movies, blending sincere analysis with humor, operating since 2020. It features a he said, she said style with the duo exploring trope-filled films

to see who survives and cinematic horrors. He said she-said style. Was that anything like the old Saturday Night Live skit, point counterpoint on weekend update? Do you guys remember that one? It was Jane Curtin and Dan Aykroyd, right? And they were the two newscasters. You're going back 70s, 80s.

You're in the dark ages of weekend update. You got to get some Norm MacDonald in there. Dan Aykroyd would say something like, you know, well, you know, something that was like kooky, right? You know, like, well, I feel like there were probably a lot of shriner's at that barbecue, if you went to it at the park over the weekend or something. And she would say, actually, we were out there and we took the measurements and they were exactly 327 children

and, you know, like give the story the way it really was and that he would just get quiet and say, Jane, you ignorant slut. Oh. It's like all he could say. Jane, you ignorant slut. That's a great skit, man.

Great skit. Point, counterpoint. All right. We got Pat Crusoe. He says, a Blair Witch remake. Why? I'd rather watch Lance. romantic movies.

Well, Pat, Weathering Heights is available for rent. But he has to watch you watch it. That ain't happening. Not that one again. That could get weird. All right. In regards to taking Carrie to the prom. Okay.

Sure. Ryan B says, well, for one, she could be into anime. much worse than pigs flugged and being burned alive if you asked me. There you go. All right. You got another one for the No Love for Anime Club.

In regards to Scream 7, Pat Caruso says, Too Bad the endings sucked butt. Pat's being generous tonight. All right. I'm just going to say it. Spoilers, skip ahead, 30 seconds. who the fuck is Jessica

exactly she was one of the ghost face Owen screams I don't know I can't remember the fucking movie I don't think there was a history there yeah I don't think it was a history I think it was just like a neighbor

well I mean they they had an American horror story season where they did that like they had a quirky you know like yuppie type neighbor couple the blonde chick and the other one

and they happen to be killers. That was the pitch perfect girl. Okay, I got you. Yeah, exactly. Ghostface is always connected to the original. Correct. Yeah, and they didn't do that this time.

No, she was a fan of Sydney's book. Right. So they broke their own rule. Yeah, Brian's saying they broke their own rule, and you would be correct, yeah. They broke on rule. And the guy that wrote it, or directed, it wrote the original one,

so he should be familiar with the rules. Of all people. I guess he forgot his own roots, I guess. I don't know. I forgot how to direct, too. Yeah. It's a stain on the... It's a stain on the radio silence, guys.

A shit stain. In regard to Eli Roth's ice cream man. Pat Crusoe says, I don't think he's a good, director. Love Thanksgiving and he's very knowledgeable. His interview on last drive in for Mother's Day

was good stuff. Hope this one will be good too. All right. We'll see. That's optimistic. He directed Hostel, right? Yeah, hostile, cabin fever. Dude, hostile was great. Cabin Fever was great. Hustle wasn't bad.

Yeah. The first one was amazing. Classic. Yeah. All right, Michael Arnaz. I haven't heard from him in a while. Is that how he sounds? Sure. Come on Michael Arnaz. Chime in, buddy.

We're calling you out. In regard to Steve's the horror returns logo, Zim Vader says, Great logo. That's right. I agree. Is there a new logo? The, the

THR. Oh, I got you. Yes, it is a great low. It actually is pretty fucking metal looking. It's a great t-shirt. Yeah, Super Metal, right? Steve will be joining us next week to finish off the Critters franchise.

Oh, there's still more? I forgot about that. Unfortunately. There's one movie that overlapped the Goolee's franchise, so we're going to do that as a commentary. Fair enough. Makes sense. Why not? End for a penny, in for a pound, right?

Ew. Return to Silent Hill. Simon Leitchster says So what's the movie looking like in the meantime? Does anyone know anything? I'm not sure. I understand the context. In the meantime, it already came out, right?

Is this a new one maybe? Like a sequel to it or something, Brian? Unless he's talking about the game, he can go back in a few episodes and listen to that. Probably a good idea. Yeah. Get our thoughts on it to see if you should watch it or not. Sure.

Or you can just not watch it. We love everybody that comments on the Facebook group, but it's always helpful if you listen to a couple of our episodes before you comment. And I'm not going to call out any content creators. But some of these movies that I watch get hyped up. Right. And I'm like some of these, I'm not going to say names. I'm not going to be that guy. But I'm just like, are you guys getting paid?

Maybe. I'm going to be honest with you. I can't. I don't remember that one either. I know that I watched it, but I could not tell you what happened. The Silent Hill movie? Yeah. Well, yeah.

Yeah, true. It's one of those. All right. It wasn't a real clear about it. Move on. with my life. Yeah. I can't even put it

top, bottom 10, I don't think, because it's not fair. Or maybe it is. Oh, this is in my bottom 10. Is it fair game? Okay. Oh, okay. I vaguely remember.

The girl had not enough to like... He almost hit her. He's driving his rental Mustang or whatever, convertible. It almost hits her. Spoiler alert. It all repeats in the end. Like an endless loop.

Yeah. The girl turns into butterflies at the end or moths or something. Oh, this is a fun name to say. Let's see. We got the changeling. Mark Komarzynski says, I like this one. Creep creepy atmosphere. Creepy and atmospheric with a good twist in.

There you go. True, but a little too slow for me. It is, but it's cool. Yeah. I can dig it. That one stuck with me, right? I watched, like the changeling I watched two fucking years ago, I still remember. Sure.

Silent Hill, I watched two weeks ago. I don't fucking remember it. There's the acid test. Yeah. All right. That's it for listener feedback. Logos come from Steve Carlton from the geeks as well as the intro. Original skull artwork comes from Natsulani.

You can find both of those at our website. on t-shirts where you can purchase them. They're awesome. www. Thehorror returns.com. And if you'd like to help us out, please consider becoming a Patreon patron. We'll let you pick the movies for a future show at any amount.

And for $5 or more a month, also pick a commentary for a future bonus show. Which it sounds like we'll be doing on a Critters movie next week. That'll be fun. Yeah. All right. On to featured attractions. Badass chicks.

who are kidnapped, sort of. All right. Start with Everley from 2014. A movie that totally flew under the radar from me. Right? Never seen it before. A kidnapped woman faces down hitmen sent by a mob boss slash her captor

while trying to protect her family from his wrath. Director and writer is Joe Lynch, also known for suitable flesh and mayhem. Kate Hudson was attached to the project for a long time, but after the movie was stuck in development, she dropped out and Selma Hayek later got the job. Thank God. Good decision.

Thank God. The screenplay for this film was featured in the 2010 Blacklist, a list of most liked unmade scripts of the year. Brian, you want to start us out with Everton? Yeah, this is a super fun action thriller. Samaheig looks good, kicking ass. You got to suspend disbelief. Oh, yeah, a lot.

Because where she starts in the movie as far as, like, fighting. Where she ends is a completely different person. Okay, yeah, I can see that. Yeah, she's also like five foot nothing. Yeah, because she's like pointing. Ayak is a tiny little girl. Because she goes from barely knowing how to hold a gun and pointing it at people without even looking and firing it to shoot rocket launchers and assault rifles and grenades and. Sure, sure.

A little bit of hand-to-hand combat. Learning curve, you know. Yeah, but like I said, you guys, it's been disbelieved because this takes place over hours in one. one night. Okay. True. I like the story. I like the story of how she's basically getting sex trafficking.

Mm-hmm. By, I'm assuming, Yakuza. They didn't really ever say. They implied that. They were definitely Japanese. I'm sure they were organized crime. And she's trying to get out, get help, get to her daughter. and then it just gets to the point where she's like,

I'm not making it out of this building. I got to get this money to my daughter so that she can live her life. And if I got to fight my way to do it, I'm going to fight my way to do it. And it's a wild fun ride. Joe Lynch, he makes super fun movies. Mayhem was one of the ones mentioned. That was the one with Samara weaving and Glenn.

Yeah, yeah, great movie. Yeah, super fun action movie. The action scenes were fun, violent, the type of movie where someone gets shot and they fly like 10 feet. Yes. Yeah. So I did like the way that they started the movie, because a lot of these movies will start with like a buildup

or you have to have character development or how did you end up in that predicament. But this starts out with her in that predicament. And so I did appreciate that. Yeah, like Brian said, there was just a ton of, of action, right? Like it was, I mean, it almost didn't even stop, right? It was almost full throttle from beginning to end. I mean, obviously you have to suspend disbelief, no doubt about that. It did get a little original. I like some things like the, what did they call those two characters, the masochist and the sadist?

Oh, yeah. I thought that was kind of cute. I thought that was kind of cute. But at the end of the day, I mean, oh, and gosh, man, of course I enjoyed seeing Salma Hayek scantily clad, you know. But, yeah, you know what, at the end of the day, for me, at least personally, I'm not a huge fan of kung fu movies, for example. And the reason that I'm not a huge fan of kung fu movies, and I've always said I'm not a huge fan of kung fu movies is because when you're in a fight for your life, and literally you're murdering people that don't kill you, you're not going to be gentlemanly.

And what I mean by that is it's just like a kung fu movie where there would be one person coming after her while the other stood around waiting. And then it's like, you know, do this, do this. And then the next one comes after you. And then one lifts their gun like they're going to shoot you. And then you turn around and shoot them really quick. They politely wait for you to shoot them in the head first

before they shoot you. And for my taste, there was way too much of that. this movie. I don't know. We had to have her make it through the movie. True, of course. Yeah, of course, man. I mean, it fulfilled what it set out to do.

But at the other day, for me, it was maybe a little less everly and a little more maverly. Yeah. I don't know. I thought it was all right. It was my favorite part was when she was like yelling at her mother because like she had no idea

what was going on. No, true. I don't understand. Right. She was cracking me up. Oh my God, just fucking shut the fuck up and do it. But yeah, I, you know, always enjoy Selma Hyatt kicking ass. I can't go wrong with that.

Sure. I definitely understand why it wasn't on my radar. I mean, this is not the best movie out there. But I had a pretty good time with it for what it was. It was a lot of silliness. Some cool fight scenes. some high kicking ass that's really all you need to know

if that interest you then definitely watch this yeah that's all you need to know right if it sounds really stupid it is but it's fun right yeah yeah and then the and then the cops came in and like she was trying to get out they all

escorted her back up to the room to wait for the big boss to get there like these these even own the cops that's when they own the cops you don't understand that's when she came to the conclusion I'm not getting out of this building. Exactly. Yeah, exactly.

That was another child actor situation that like we're like I mean the kid only had a couple of parts but she was terrible. Clearly didn't know what she was she was in a movie.

Okay. Guys, both of you're going to agree, I hope. In all fairness, she wasn't as bad as the little girl in werewolves. That's what she reminded me of though. Really? That bad? Okay.

A little girl in rarewolds. Yeah. Because like every time they showed her it was like soft focus and true. Such a cheesy scene that just didn't match anything in the movie. And then it cuts to Frank Grillo. Yeah. With a shirt off on the roof, working on the roof.

Uncle Frank. Somebody check that guy's computer. right right right oh Jesus Christ everybody's got that uncle Frank

you go watch out oh boy Jesus wept right uh all right any uh any final words

or we're gonna want to go scores on Everley we can go scores I'll go first it's a I think seven is fair for it

it's a lot of fun action the kills are over the top. Like I said, you got a suspend disbelief that she manages to kill, like, cops and SWAT members and Yakuza members all in one night.

She even dispatches, like, some of the main bosses, because this was basically a video game. Oh, that's a good point. Yeah. Very good point. Because that scene where she manages to get herself out of that body Cage. Yeah.

Yeah, it was a little bit of the Bruce Lee going up the levels movie. Oh, yes. I know exactly the one you're talking about. I'm thinking about it.

A little bit of the raid in there. Yeah. Lance, what do you think? Yeah, I don't know. I mean, there is a few more original things in here, I guess. For example, the sadist was using the little droppers and saying battery acid.

Oh, that was fucked up when he was dropping it in her eyes and he was like tap water. Yes. That was fucked up. Well, he is a sadist, right? Yeah. I don't know, man. I'll give it five and a half. I definitely liked it more than I didn't like it, you know, for sure.

But nothing special. I don't think I'll re-watch it or anything like that But again, I'm not a video game guy, right? So if I was a video game guy Or a kung fu movie guy, I would probably have just fucking loved this movie, you know? Yeah, okay, I'm gonna go I'm gonna go six and a half

All right, yeah, I think it was I think it was really satisfying and pretty good, it had a real raw feel to it. I feel like with a big budget, they could have done some cool stuff with this movie. Yeah, let's see what was the budget on this one. It couldn't have been too much. Yeah, Joe Lynch isn't like a...

$10 million budget. Yeah. $2 million? Yeah. I imagine most of that went to... Most of that probably went to Selma Hayek. Yeah, you would think so. They did good then.

Not bad at all. Because I didn't recognize anybody else in the cast. Yeah, I didn't either. Well, the sadist guy, I kind of recognized him. Yeah. He's probably an older Japanese film actor about or something. Maybe in some Godzilla movies or something like that. The guy that was like gutted on the couch,

I think he looked sort of familiar. Yeah, and I was kind of pulling from that guy. Yeah. Because he kind of seemed like, well, he even said he was made to be in that life and forced to do things or else to kill him or his family.

Yeah. No, like I immediately trusted him. Yeah. Yeah, well, he's not the one. Go ahead. ahead, Brian. I was going to say, by the way, he looked on the couch. You knew he was never going to get off that couch. Oh, yeah. Definitely dying. No doubt. He's not the cop that walked in and turned around and when he's leaving and said, that's a bunch of dead oars.

All right. Well, so it sounds like we, uh, we at least recommend it. Yeah, it's good for at least one watch. Yeah. I agree. We'll move on to They Will Kill You from 2026. A woman takes a job as a housekeeper in a New York City high rise, unaware of the building's history of disappearances. She soon realizes and sells some seashells. The community is shrouded in mystery. Director and writer is Caril Sokolov,

also known for Why Don't You Just Die? I think I've seen that one. I don't remember. That sounds familiar, yeah. Tom Felton would attempt to put a smile on Zazi Beatt's face after her long, intense grueling filming days. Felton would bring his ukulele to work and serenade her with a song about joining a cult. Tom Felton, Treyko Malfoy. Is that who that is right?

Yeah. Tom Felton. filming was so intense for much of the cast but especially Zazi Beetz who takes on her first lead movie role in film isn't yeah her being the main actor I think yeah

now I think about she's always been the co-star okay right Patricia Arquette said that Beets's time on set was like a constant marathon and praised the actresses incredible amount of stamina

an incredible amount of commitment. It's those fucking ham hawks she's got. That's all kinds of stamina. He's got legs for days, man. No shit. All right, Brian, would you think about it? It will kill you. All right, before you guys get into this movie.

There's not a lot of spoilers that's going to be like, it's a similar. Yeah, but I'm going to see it tomorrow. Okay. So I kind of want to go in line. So, can I give my review next week, guys? Yeah, we'll skip spoilers because Phil's right. The story's pretty straightforward. I figured it was.

I figured it was. All right. I just don't want any, like, twist revealed or anything here, you know? There is an element in there that I was not expecting. Okay. Well, if you'll stay away from it, I'll stick around. If not, I'm going to go on mute for a little bit here. All right.

Well, I mean, I think you can tell it's like a, at least a cult from the trailer. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Right. That's, that's basically. Like a Rosemary's baby type thing. Eh.

Well. Like a. Not really the way they set it up. She's there for a reason. Okay. All right. So let's, we'll start out with this. We'll explain the movie a little bit without going into spoilers.

So she, because it's like in the very first scene in the movie, movie. She is like running away from an abusive dad. Okay. Because she shoots him and then the cops show up, leaves her sister there, her little little sister, and then runs away. Right. Okay. She ends up getting arrested. Who knows where the sister is.

Zazi Beetz gets out of jail and goes to find the sister who happens to be working at this cult. there's basically it. Yeah. Shit. Okay. Yeah. So she's there to save her. I got you.

All right. All right. Brian, what do you think? I had a lot of fun with this movie. The action was good. Once the action gets going, it's like nonstop.

Yeah. It's again, that over-the-top action. I figured it would be. A lot of practical effects. Some digital in there. that looked pretty good. Yeah.

A little bit more comedy than I thought there was, and it wasn't a bad thing, because the humor was kind of hitting. Okay. That's true. I guess that's some spoiler territory, some of the comedy stuff we can't really go into. But, yeah, it was pretty funny.

Spoiler comedy, that's a new one. Yeah. Spoiler-ific jokes. I thought the cast was great. You had, of course, Zazi Beetz, Draco Malfoy, Heather Graham, Patricia Arquette. I don't think I realized that was Draco Malfoy. Heather Graham, huh? Yeah, Heather Graham, I think she may have done something to her face.

Hmm, okay. Because I didn't recognize her at first. I was like, she looks like Heather Graham, and then her name appeared in the credits. I was like, oh, it is Heather Graham. Well, there you go. It's the Heather Graham clone. Like from the island? Same place. Jim Carrey got cloned.

It's a deep cut, man. It's a deep cut. This movie, I don't know if this is going to be spoilery. To me, it kind of felt like Killville meets Evil Dead. Yeah, it had some very, yeah, Tarantino-esque fight scenes and Evil Dead kind of stuff. Yeah, that definitely works. And Lance, you won't be disappointed with Zazi B. She looks good kicking ass.

She even, when she starts her first fight scene, I believe she's in her underwear. Yeah. Oh, boy. Should have left her there. Yeah, that's where I thought it was going because there was a problem with some of her clothes that she couldn't put on. I was like, okay, she's going in her underwear and then she finds clothes. She finds baggy ass pants to put on is what she does. What are you going to do?

But then it sort of turns into a very brusely, like, like movie, you know what I mean? And they definitely got some, like, I feel like the Rizza directed some of this, you know what I mean? Oh, I know exactly what you mean. Yeah. Yeah, of course. Very, very brusely.

Very stylized. Yeah. Very, uh, the raid again, because there was different levels to this building. And then there was a, the horror aspect. kicks in, which I wasn't even really expecting. I didn't think that was going to be in there.

So, oh my God. Okay. That's true. And it's fun. It doesn't take itself very seriously. No. Okay. It's a very silly movie.

Yeah. But it's a lot of fun. Yeah. I didn't foresee any, I didn't see anything supernatural necessarily from what I saw in the trailer and envisioned. So sounds like I. It's definitely an action or comedy. Yeah.

Okay. It fits those three genres perfectly. Yeah. And that first scene with her and her underwear, kicking ass, which you see a lot of in the trailer, is classic. Like, it's going to go down in cinema,

you know what I mean? No shit. As one of those moments. It's a great fight scene. It really, it's a lot of fun. It lets you know, all right, here's where we're going with this. Right. And then it doesn't, it doesn't hold back, right?

Yeah. Like some of it's very silly, but like, you know, she kicked somebody and they fly across the room and you go, oh, all right. Yes, I saw that in one of the trailers, actually. That was funny. Like chucking machetes at people and stuff. It's pretty awesome. Right. Cool.

Cool. And then she does that quite a few more times throughout the movie, but now she has pants and it's not quite as fun. Yeah. All right. I don't know what else to say about it. I was looking up the Bruce Lee movie we kept referencing this. Game of Death.

Game of Death with Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, right? Yeah. That's right. It did have very much that feel to it. Even those like green sweatpants that she was wearing. for the whole movie. Uh-huh. Sort of had the,

sort of had the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,

they're just pants, but when she puts them on during the movie, they look like she's putting on martial arts pants. Yeah. That's cool. And she,

uh, it knows what it is. She acts her way out of this one, man, it's good. I don't think it's as good as ready or not. And I don't think that she does as good a job as, a job as,

Samara Weaving. But boy, I would watch a movie with these two girls in it together. Oh, we may get it. We may get it. Because it's, it's so, they're so similar coming out a week after each other that you can't help but compare them. Yeah. I thought that too, man. That was the only thing I was a little, a little worried about. Maybe they were releasing him to, you know, too close together. Yeah. Was it, so like you guys are saying it was enough different from that one that it was kind of like its own unique thing, right? Yeah, and I think that falls on Zazi Beats, because she's fun to watch.

Oh, man, I'm excited. Okay. Well, and like the tone of this movie is a little different, too. It's like... Sure. It's a little sillier. Like, in Ready or Not... Sillyer. Really?

It kind of is. The goal, because in Ready or Not, there was some plot holes where I'm like... I'm like, all right. Sure, sure. I see it, but we'll just ignore it. And in this one, I'm like, I don't care. Didn't bother you, huh?

Yeah, no, she's like picking guys up and chucking them across the room or whatever. Totally makes sense. That's cool. It's just different physics. Like Fast and Furious movies, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a little bit of a Fast and Furious movie. It is very much an action movie.

Yeah, they let you know that quick. Where did you learn to fight? like that. Prison. Oh, that's right. I remember that line from the trailer. Yeah, and they show her kicking ass in prison. A little flashback scene.

So they show some flashbacks then? Yeah, the trailer very much catches the spirit of the movie. Hmm. Okay. As I was hoping it would. Yeah. Man, it just like you guys are holding back on some stuff, unfortunately, since I haven't seen it. You're trying to be respectful.

Because when she finds what's the, the root of this building and the people there. Even when she starts killing off people, there's like an aspect that I wasn't expecting. You said evil dead, so I'm assuming kind of like deadites, right?

I was like, ah. Kind of like deadites then? Yeah. Yeah, sort of fighting demons. We're not even in spoilers yet. We'll go with that. That's vague enough. Okay.

Fair enough. Well, Brian, do you want to give it a score, or do you got some more comments about it? No, I don't even think we should get into spoilers because I think Lance is going fresh. If that's the case, if you guys are cool with it next week, instead of cool of the week, what I'll do is my many review for this. Is that okay? Yeah, and then we'll do some spoiler talk. Nice. Okay, cool.

For now, I'm going to give it. It's an easy eight. Yeah. Damn. Okay. I'll agree with you. I think that's what I gave Ready Your Not also. Yeah, I think I did too, or eight and a half, maybe.

So I feel like Ready Your Not is a little bit better. It's like technically, better. Yeah, better technically designed movie, basically. Yeah. Okay. But this one was a lot of fun, and it was right there hanging with it. And maybe more fun, what'd you say, this one? Yeah, maybe.

because like Zazi Beats is pretty awesome. Taking no shit. Yeah, I think what serious stuff, ready or not a little bit was like Samara weaving, playing everything totally straight, you know? Yeah, and that scream. Yeah. She's got.

Okay. Damn, you guys are all about it, huh? But yeah, I'll give it an eight. Okay, so spoilers to be continued next week then? Yeah. Let's do it. Before we watch the Critters' abortion. or whatever it's called.

All right, we would like to thank you all for listening to another episode of The Horror Returns. We'd love to hear your feedback and ideas. You can reach us at Thehorror Returns at gmail.com. And go to all our socials and everything through Thehorrorreturns.com, buy a t-shirt. There's a shitload of them now. Steve's working on a new one.

It's going to be called Jasper versus something, but we'll see how that one goes. And again, as Brian said, next week we're going to be watching Critters Something, Critters Attack, I think. So, Philip, until the horror returns again. Good night. I was like,

had all kinds of movie ideas in my head about Critters and like abortions. The Critters abortion.