The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #515: Critters Attack! (2019) commentary

Episode Date: April 13, 2026

Steve joins us to wrap up our Critters retrospective. Cool of the week includes Good Luck Have Fun Don't Die, The St. Augustine Museum of Torture, Pizza Movie, and Slash/Back. The podcast spotlight shines on This is Horror. Thanks for listening!      

Regings victims, for those of you who delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify gore, welcome. You have found the place where the horror returns. Listeners beware. This podcast contains major plot spoilers. and the foulest of language. Join us in celebrating the old and the new, the best, and the worst in horror. All right, welcome back, everybody,

to The Horror Returns. I'm Lance, and with me as always, my co-hosts, Brian and Philip and Steve. What's up, guys? What's going on? What's going on, fellas? a lively bunch. No shit.

Do you guys take some Xanax or what? We'll get there. I only just started. Maybe. Okay. Okay. Oh man, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, tell us what are you got going on, dude.

I know you got the geeks in high gear, but you got all kinds of shit. Yeah, too much, too much going on. Yeah, so episode four of the Calaveras Campfire is in the editing process. It's supposed to be a monthly show, and this one should have come out in January, but shit happens. Life gets in the way.

I'm not getting paid to do it, you know. We got busy making the movie, you know, and that's been a whole thing. I sent you guys some pictures on Messenger of some of the cool bloody effects stuff we were doing. Yeah, it seems your job title changes. Yeah, I kind of do everything. Now I'm like the guy that does the blood because, like, I made the best. blood mix of everyone that tried. So it looks really good.

It's got great consistency, great color, and it smells like chocolate. So really? My daughter's been doing that shit lately. I like for no reason at all, she's like, oh, I'm going to make this staple coming out of my skin. And now I've got a worm coming out over here. Like, boss, she's supposed to be at school and shit. Yeah, that's awesome.

She's finding her call in early. I guess so. So, yeah, so the movie stuff. we had a really bad day like where the director was like we're going to show up early and we're going to leave early you know one of those things should have known better

because we were going to be filming in the fucking cave we were in this cave I was in a legit cave for like a long fucking time like 12 hours we got there at 9 o'clock in the morning and we left at 2 o'clock in the morning oh 2 o'clock in the morning in a cave yeah you couldn't you couldn't tell what time it was

right? No, at one point, yeah, at one point they had to change all the batteries out, but I was like good. And I had to get like, way up in this little crevice to like get the sound right

and like not be in the shop. And I didn't want to get down. So I was like, I'll just chill until you guys get back. Bro, I fell asleep like an old man in there. Oh, wow. And quiet and cool.

Knocked out. So yeah, so that's been fun. And yeah, just, that's been pretty much it. It's been a lot of stuff with the film festival. I've been doing that's still coming in October and the podcast and the movie.

So just lots and lots of stuff. Yeah. Yeah, did you find bears in there? That's what I was wondering. Do you run into any creatures of any kind? Not yet. Not yet. No?

We did leave all the blood in that cave, though, so. Somebody's going to be freaked out. Yeah. The property owner was found with that. I was like, we can clean it up. It's like water soluble, you know? he was like, no, no, I'll leave it. Yeah, definitely.

I just leave it there. I was like, all right. So, yeah, that's been pretty much it. Cool. Yeah, well, I was supposed to have a cool of the week, guys, and catch a movie that y'all saw last week, so you could give spoilers. So I fucked up, didn't make it again.

Second week in a row, I missed the movie. But I did take AJ to St. Augustine. I think it's called St. Augustine. seen Florida. You guys ever heard of this, this town? He didn't watch the movie. It's all. You know that scene from Half Bake where there had to the meeting?

And he's talking about being addicted to weed and that one guy stands up and he's like, boo this man. Yes. That's, I got to watch that one. All right. It's been a minute since I've seen it. But now go ahead, Lance. No, do you guys want to, y'all want to go into spoilers on,

they will kill you? No, you know I'm going to see it. Just like to get a chance. You're good? Yeah. All right. Cool of the week. Who's going first?

I'll go. I'll go last. All right. Since I didn't have one last week and I sucked so bad, the one I watched this week was, oh, fuck, I'm going to fuck up the name of it. Good luck. Have fun.

Don't Die? Yes. Sam Rockwell, man. Such a fantastic movie. I loved every second of it. Sam Rockwell might be one of my favorite actors out there. He's so kick-ass. I think he is.

You've talked about him a lot, man. Yeah. Everybody else plays their part to a T. Is it Michael Pena? Is that his name? Yeah. Yeah. He, I loved him in this movie.

I love him in a lot of stuff. Zazi Beetz is in it. A couple other people that I like, recognize, but I couldn't tell you their names. But yeah, man, it was a, it was a really fun back-in-time AI futuristic hellscape. Okay. Party movie, yeah.

What's the basic premise? Sam Rockwell has to come back. and save the world from AI, basically. Okay. And so there's a... Tough to do. There's a tiny human-ish that's creating AI right now.

And there's a certain combination of people in this diner that he comes back to that are going to save the world. And he's tried it 116 times already, and they've all died. So he just keeps going back in time and trying it again. And so, of course, the movie that we get is the right combination of people. Or is it? Okay. Or is it?

Kind of like the... Of course it is, because otherwise the movie wouldn't happen. But you guys get it. What was that movie that it was based on a book? You guys know what I'm talking about? Live, Die Repeat or something, Brian? Oh, Edge of Tomorrow. Edge of Tomorrow.

That's right. Five names the movie came out as. That might be one of my favorite Tom Cruise movies. Yeah. Yeah. Emily Blunt doing push-ups. Hell yeah. She was smoking in that movie.

Yeah. And I'm not like, she's all right. She's right. Emily Blunt's not the hottest chick out there, but she was smoking in that one. Yeah. I have something I can jump in with. I watched Season 2 of Paradise. Okay.

It's not as good as season one, I don't think. but still very, very good. It is mellow, dramatic, though. It is like a soap opera with action on a big budget. Like, boy, some of those drops, some of those way it seems end and people are just being looking at each other. You're like, oh.

Sounds terrible, man. No, it's not. You love that kind of campy shit. Don't get it twisted. Okay. But, like, they have this thing that they do on the show where they take songs and they, like, remix them and they you know they make them like more epic i guess and slower and you know they

take pop song and stuff and make them sound sad and shit and usually it's done really well but in one episode they did uh elvis's you ain't nothing but a hound dog and they tried to do that to it and it i just couldn't i was like this is this is terrible stuff this is not good uh so that one knocked it down a little bit but overall the the show's really good um do you guys understand know the basic premise of the show? Yeah, I haven't seen this. It's on my list. I have no idea what it is. I saw the first episode of the first season, so I got the twist.

With the little, the ducks in the water and everybody's driving electric cars. See, I almost don't even want to tell Phil what it is if he doesn't know, because I didn't know anything when I started episode one. And that fucked me up. When it ended, I was like, whoa. So, yeah. What is it on? It's on a list. Hulu.

Okay. It's, if you don't know anything going in, I'm not going to say anything. All right. I'll have to check it out. It's really, really good. The twist is good. And I really like, you know, the world building in season two and like, okay. What they found out and about stuff.

So. All right. Very, very good. Does it, does it maintain the, the political intrigue or our politics, politics kind of don't really matter anymore? It's in there, but it's like silly. Okay. Like, it's gotcha. It's, it's on the back burner.

And it's mostly done for last. Like, look at this fucking clown. Look at this guy. Okay. Nobody fucking respects you. Okay. Yeah. So, that's pretty good.

All right. You're going last, Brian? Yep. I got to go with the St. Augustine, Florida, Torture Museum. Torture museum. Yeah, a museum of torture. And I'm like, yeah, AJ wanted to. Those what those pictures were.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. AJ wanted to go, and I'm like, what? Really? Like, you're just going to look at a bunch of pictures of people being tortured. Are we talking about, like, the stretcher or, like, nipple cramps? All of the above.

Dude, they have, like, they had, like, things that they would, they would put on your penis. And, like, they could turn a knob, like, back in the day, and it would get tighter and tighter and tighter. Oh, like those Indian dudes that tie big-ass boulders to it and, like, swing arm. Something like that. But it was done like in real time, right, like while you're standing there. But no, what was so cool about this museum is it wasn't, all right, so you know how you go to museums and it's like, don't touch. And like if you get close to the exhibits and alarm goes off or you got a painted yellow line, don't get past here or whatever. Totally interactive, dude.

They like let you get up on the racks. You know, they let you put the handcuffs on yourself. They let you sit in an electric chair. It was really fucking awesome. Great photo ops, man. Like a real electric chair? I think so. I think maybe I'm lucky I didn't get fried, huh?

Maybe I wasn't supposed to sit in it. I don't know. Well, like, has somebody died in that chair? Yeah, come on. I think so. They have an iron maiden? Yes. They had an iron maiden, but I didn't get all the way in it because it still had the spikes.

Yeah. So I kind of got close to it and sort of closed it. But yeah, man, it's crazy, dude. I can't imagine how many drunk people, like, go in there all fucked up and get it. Seemed like that it's a lawsuit waiting to happen, right? Oh, you didn't have to sign anything? Great movie. Yeah.

I don't think so. I don't remember signing a waiver. But I know the guys at the front, like, that when you check in, they were like super stone, man. Like, you could smell them from, you're walking up into the building and you're like, what the hell is that smell? That's some strong weed. And then you walk into the lobby and these guys are like, hey, man, welcome to our torture museum, dude. That's what it sounds like when I walk upstairs, my daughter. I'm like, God damn.

Open a window. And I did get my, I got my t-shirt, guys. My killer surfboard t-shirt. I got mine, too. Oh, fuck, I forgot. Did we get your address, Philip? No, I don't know if I gave him your address. I forgot.

We got to fix that. It's a bad ass shirt. I'm going to go do some photo ops down on the beach. Maybe I can find some guys surfing and get on the board or something. Just you and just that shirt. Just that shirt and that beard, right, Lance? That's it, man. Nothing else.

That's a fucking calendar if I've ever seen it. Nothing else needed. Maybe a sock. All right, Brian, what you got, man? All right. I got a screener for a sci-fi horror, found out while I was watching it, had a little bit of comedy in it called Touch Me about an alien that comes to earth that wants to fuck people and take over the world. Oh, wow. That sounds amazing.

And I was kind of high on this one based off the poster because I thought the poster was going to get us another strike when I posted it. Really? Yeah, the poster is very risque Yeah, tentacles and such Brian, you think we can get the filmmakers on the show with us? I don't want to

because I did not like this movie. Oh, no. Another pink, another that guy in the pink hair thing, Philip. Yeah. This poster promises something that you rarely get in the movie and when you do get it

it's all kind of artsy and don't really see much. I was looking to be shocked. Of course. I didn't know until watching it that there was a comedic part of the movie which completely took me out. Oh, no.

Badly timed comedy, huh? Yeah, so I can't recommend this one. Yay, okay. Well, at least it was free, right? Yeah. I checked out the most. A Bride starring What's it?

Christian Dale Christian Bail And what's that chick that was in the Oscar nominated movie? Yeah, the one that was in Hamnet. I can't think of her name. Help me out, guys. Something Buckley.

Oh, Jesse Buckley. Jesse Buckley. That's right. That's right. I didn't hate this movie. Really? I didn't completely hate it. I didn't love it either.

Yeah. get that clear because there was some musical aspects in Atlanta. There's a song and dance number with Frankie, aka Frankenstein. I think I heard about that. You'll get a kick out of. Okay. Yeah, like it looks sort of cool, but like silly. It's silly.

I like the performance from Jesse Buckley. She plays dual roles. She plays the bride. Also, she plays the ghost of who wrote Frankenstein? Mary Shelley? Yeah. So she's playing Dubleau's

Christian Beale's performance as Frankie was kind of whatever. I don't know what he was doing. Oh wow. I figured

that would have been the good part. Yeah. Yeah. He, I don't know if he put an acting performance

in this one. Right, right. He was trying to channel Leo DiCaprio and what's eating Gilbert grape.

He probably was. I like the period piece gangster element of it. That was kind of cool because it's basically Frankenstein and the bride meets Bonnie and Clyde. Okay, yeah, I got that impression. And I kind of feel like this movie is what Joker 2 was trying to be. Yeah, now that one, on the other hand, was straight garbage. It's fine. Pretty bad, huh?

Yeah, that is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. That's strong words. Come on. Kind of recommend this one. I know it's not going to be for everybody, but check it out because it's definitely a different take on the whole Frankenstein and the Bride of Frankenstein story.

All right. Again, I'll stick with Plankinstein, but okay. Let's see. I checked out on Amazon, I'm pretty lethal. Oh, the ballerinas. Yeah, ballerinas that get stranded with a bunch of Russian mobsters and have to use the ballerina skills to fight their way out of it.

Okay. Sounds like an extension of Burt Crashers, the Machine story. Is it? It could be. It could be in the same universe. The only person I recognize in the movie is Uma Thurman. She plays one of the Russians. and one of the ballerinas is the deaf girl from a quiet place.

Okay. Oh, okay. It's decent. It's got some decent action. You've got to suspend disbelief because they don't have fighting skills. They just use their ballerina dance moves to duck and dodge and kick. All right. Lots of spinning.

Yeah. But it's kind of a fun act. Running away from gunfire on their tiptoes. Exactly. Ouch. But it's kind of a fun action movie if you get past all that. Okay. A couple more real quick.

Let me get the name correctly in this one. On Hulu, I saw Mike and Nick and Nick and Alice. I saw that one too. I saw that too. I didn't like it. I'm entirely sure what you just said. You didn't like? I thought it was okay.

It had some funny bits, man. Yeah, the cast was good as Vince Vaughn. Issa Gonzalez, James Marsden, Keith David, not David Keith. Yeah, Keith David made it, dude. He made the movie, for me anyway. It's, Phil, it's basically it's Vince Vaughn, time traveling back to his younger self to stop something from happening. Okay. I'm traveling gangsters.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's all about gangsters this week, Steve. and the action was okay but the comedy because it's an action comedy and the comedy just wasn't hidden for me I don't know what the deal was with me

just the comedy hasn't been hidden with me in some of these movies okay I got a kick out of it man I thought it was kind of cool yeah I thought the cast did all right you know but David David Keith he he definitely made the movie for me also

and there's a bunch of other people that pop up in the movie. Right, right. But Macool the Week is another movie on Hulu, and it's called Pizza Movie. What? Starring Dustin from Stranger Things and Adam from the Goldbergs. I think I saw a poster for that.

They are two college roommates who take a drug. Okay. That's going to put them through six different stages. The sixth stage, they don't want to get to at all. And the key to not getting to that sixth stage is eating pizza. But their pizza gets delivered by one of those delivery robots, and they have to go downstairs from their dorm room to get it. Tripping balls, huh?

An adventure to get down there? Yeah, because as soon as they leave their dorm room, the phases start kicking in. Oh, boy. And I'll spoil one of the phases. One of the phases is called bad words. Okay. Anytime they say a cuss word or anything similar to a cuss word, their head explodes.

And they reset to where they started. All right. That sounds fun. Yeah. Oh, Phil. Phil, it has your favorite child actor who's not a child no more. Lulu Wilson. Lou Lou.

Oh, yay. Well, she's like less. annoying now that she's going to grown up, right? Yeah, she's also ingested the one of the drug. Okay. So she's a part along. She's along for the adventure. How did they take it, Brian?

Out of like an eyedropper? No, they find a tin called mints, and that's what they're called, because mince stands for whatever the drug is, and they look it up, and it has a person that created the drug, made a YouTube video and how to take it and what are the six stages and so they take it I think we've seen this trailer Brian this sounds really familiar yeah I'm sure some one of us has seen the trailer

but yeah I recommend it I thought it was funny I just I like Adam from the Goldbergs I know Steve's watch the Goldbergs yeah I tailor it off once they got rid of the dead for yeah I don't even remember if it was justifiable or not so I'm not going to complain about that but the show

got less good once he was off of it yeah it was weird when they would just have a separate actor and they would just shoot him from the back okay he was a big part of the show man then the next season they just killed him off

yeah it's probably what they should have done to begin with huh yeah because even though you're going to only see him from the back or back of his head is clearly not um what was his name steve from he was also on curbie your enthusiasm and in jeff garland god damn it jeff garland and the reason why i should remember that is because i did a i was a guest on the jacked kirby show and i went on like i went on one week but the week before me their guest was was uh jeff carlin i was like oh shit okay it's a nice yeah great great great

I was creative. Happy to follow that up. Yeah, pretty cool. So pizza movie is my cool of the week. Pizza movie. Is it streaming anywhere? Hulu. Hulu.

Gotcha. All right, cool. And I started Crime 101 with Chris Hemsworth, but I haven't finished it, and I'll talk about that next week. That's a long movie, isn't it? Brian, like a three-hour movie or something? Yeah, I started it kind of late.

and the movie ended up watching me. Gotcha. What happens? All right. That's school of the week, Philip. What have we got on board? All right. Let's see.

So we're going to go a podcast spotlight, but we'll skip all the rest of the junk since we are doing a commentary this week. So our podcast spotlight goes out to This is a horror podcast, a weekly show for readers, writers, and creators hosted by Michael David Wilson and Bob Pastorilla.

It features long-form interviews with authors, editors, and publishers covering horror fiction craft, personal philosophies, and industry insights. With over 600 episodes, featuring guests like Chuck Palinwick and Dean Coontz. Dean Coons.

Damn, I've read a lot of his stuff, but he's very prolific. He guys ever written any Dean Coontz novels? Yeah. I think he's written well over... What's that? The sphere? Is that one of them?

I think so. He's written well over 100. Probably 200 books, man. I've read a couple of them. I can't remember what they were at the moment. That's a big name. I might check this out. What's it called?

He said? Yeah. Dude, the Watchers, his book, Watchers, that do love the Troopers, though. he fucking puts golden retrievers and all of his shits and he will not stop talking about how awesome golden retrievers are it's a little gross i'm like dude chill out the golden retrievers we get it you like them fuck they're cool but they like they did a really shitty movie with corey hame called watchers but right the book is awesome and the reason why the book is awesome is because it's told from two perspectives the fucking cop who's hunting this fucking monster damn It's got this super smart dog with him.

It tells it from that perspective, which, no, Corey Haim, a fucking actual, like, person that can do something. So that was good. And the other perspective, it tells it from is the monster, which is weird. It's like... Wow. It's really... Because the monster, like, doesn't really know it's doing anything wrong.

It just, like, fucking wants to kill everything. But it's not, like, mean about it. It's just like... It's weird. It's a weird fucking bug moment. It's nature. It's nature. It's super cool.

Yeah, watchers. food walking around over there. Steve, you ever see Watchers 2? I put it on, but I just got so bored. The monster design sucks. And all the dog stuff was terrible.

Like, at least the dog stuff in the first Watchers was okay. Like, it's a bad movie, but I have, like, a little bit of, like, so bad it's good love for it, especially because Michael Ironside

is, like, crushing it as this over-the-top villain. It's so good. He's the monster. He's one of them Okay All right All right

I'll have to check it What's the podcast called again Philip? This is horror Okay I'm good to check that out Like spinal tap But not

Yes All right That's it For feedback Intro and logos Come from Steve Thanks Steve Oh hey

Well really quickly While you're on that subject Yeah. I want to share something with you right quick. Let me know when you can see that. Can you see that? Yes, sir. All right.

I'm just going to drop this down over here. I try to go to my desktop. There's so much stuff. Oh, look at this guy right here. That's cool. Now did it get bigger? Can you see the big version? I can't see the big version.

Oh, you can't see the big version? No. How do I make it bigger? Oh, man. How appropriate. So I'm sorry. I don't know how to like share on the, you know, I wonder if I go to, I wonder if I just share this whole screen that you can see it better. Let's just do an entire screen.

There you go. It's a, it's be quick. A critter's version of, of Jasper. There we go. Now we're going to, now we're getting there. There you go. Jesus. Really cool.

Jasper's never looked better. That took a long time. I'd love it, man. A lot of detail there, man. Detail in there. So I did a Jasper as a critter. And then, of course, I had to do Jasper as a Gully. Yes.

Is that available now? Is that at the store now, Steve? All three shirts are available at your key public store as we speak. That one is really cool, too, actually. That's the one. That's the clean one. And then I had to give them an alternate, like, super. like super gross shitty ones.

Oh, nice. So, so yes. There you have it. We have three new shirt designs. All right. A filthy alternate Jasper Goal.

Clean toilet. Jasper Googly. And, of course, Jasper the Critter. And one of the hardest things is getting this fucking font for the damn. I try to keep it like with the same fonts with the movies you use and stuff. You know, and that one was really tricky.

That is why Jasper versus Zeke, the Freddie versus Jason picture is not done. That is the one that is the next up on the docket. But, yes, it's because I wanted to get these cranked out before we met up today. Very nice, man. I appreciate it. If you guys want to see it, go to www. Thehorrorer Returns.com and buy a t-shirt. They're awesome.

Yeah. Yeah, click what, shop now, right? Up at the very top. Yeah. And they're 16 bucks right now because I just made them live before we started recording. So they're on sale. Right. I think the first two days.

Nice. Got a decision to make. I guess it depends when you put this out. What am I going to wear to Halloween Horror Nights this year? Last year it was Children of the Corn. We'll see. That's a good one. I like these.

This year is going to be a shitty toilet. Shitty toilet. Jaspers? I think so. I'm leaning toward that. I like the toilet. at Jasper, it's pretty awesome. Anywho,

also become a Patreon. Patreon. We'll let you pick the movies for a future show at any amount. And $5 a month, you get to pick a commentary for a future bonus show just like today. So we'll move on to Critters Attack from 2020. I bet you're 2019. I bet you didn't know they made a Critter's movie in 2019. That seems awfully recent. That's like just before COVID.

Yeah. It also made a series. Maybe this was the source. Maybe. Did the series make it, Brian? Did it make a whole season? I think so. I don't remember.

I know I watched it, but I don't remember a damn thing about it. That says a lot. Yeah. But Critters Attack is a reluctant babysitter must protect three kids from an invasion of ravenous critters. Okay. Director is Bobby Miller, also known for The Cleanse.

I don't know what that is. I think I've seen that. Kind of an indie movie where he has like some kind of a substance that they drink and it cleanses out your body, but I think it also like creates mutations and shit like that. It's a weird movie. Yeah. The writer, this one's fun.

Scott Lobdell. Also known for Happy Death Day. Yeah, it's about to say that's a big name. Yeah, I got a pretty big guy in there. The first Critters film to be rated are all previous entries were PG-13. Even with Leo? Even with like the one like bounty hunter that was like boobs and topless? Oh yeah, they had boobs and stuff in that.

That was 80s. It's a different time, boys and girls, as Ness would say. right, Brian. You can show four boobs and use the F word once. I'll take that. Five boobs. All right. Let's share the screen and we'll get to doing this thing here.

See if we can make it work. Can you see what I see? Yes. That's a different little creature movie. Grimelons so good I'm so afraid of anything they do with a part three quote unquote with that While we wait

I guess the rumor is Jenna Ortega They're talking to Jen O'Otega They're talking to Jen O'Otega to be in a movie Really Hmm So everything creepy just Gen Ortega

Yeah right Wednesday Oh shit I didn't talk about how much scream fucking seven was garbage. How shitty that movie is. I forgot to talk about that. Can you guys hear the movie? No.

Oh, okay. Yeah, I can see the words, but I can't hear it. Oh. Oh, okay. I missed my invite to that scream episode. I did all the screen movies with you guys, except for that one. Oh, she's sad about something.

Leroy College. Okay, I haven't heard of that one. Oh, boy. Was I going to play a factor later? That was a paper pendant that was created on Microsoft Paint. Oh, it's like a Rome man. I did not expect that. They bring some food I'm suspecting on a bicycle. Have you, you guys use, like, food delivery, like things?

I'm in a rural area, so they, don't really deliver up here, but is that a thing? Sometimes. But they usually fuck up the order. Would you trust me if you came rolling up on a bike? Like, ding ding?

Like would I would respect the hustle, but I probably wouldn't order again if that's how to deliver my food. Yeah, because it's going to take longer to get there.

It's out in the elements. Look, he just dropped it. he's got to get close to the or the asteroid hit he does not get paid enough to go investigating this looks pretty cheesy guys like a home movie or something well I mean

let's be honest I mean all the cruders movies it was just guys throwing balls of fur off from off camera to actors at least it's not rocksters throwing starfish Demons, right, Philip? Well, that was an awesome movie. All right, what if I...

That was the hardest part about drawing Jasper as a creature. He can't have red eyes. His whole schick is the big black eyes. Right? Okay. What's going on here? No audio, Philip. No audio, all right.

That's okay. Let me try. Let me try. I can't imagine. I miss it much. I don't think so. Oh, there we go. Share sound. I can hear it. Is it too loud? If you can turn it down a bit, that'd be wonderful.

Oh, there you go. Good. I can hear myself think again. All right. We're, what, three minutes and 52 seconds if you're watching along at home. Yeah, sorry, listeners, if you guys are trying to sink up. Could be a challenge. A film never even said when this start. That's right. No 3, 2, 1, or anything, huh? Yeah, you just have to figure it out.

It's Critters Attack. I don't know if anybody's syncing up the movie. She's going to work at a sushi restaurant. She's still so sad. God, well, that's the same uniform in the homeboy was wearing. Oh, she's sad because she's not going to Leroy College. Leroy College That college

The college that Leroy started He's good at us We were talking about that a couple of weeks ago Anytime you know somebody's an alcoholic They have an endless jug of booze Right Steve? Oh yeah, they got that shit Tiny flask

Just in their desk Never gets empty, right? It's like eternal Like walk into a room like Where am I? I need a drink right now Oh, I have booze over here in this room Oh, okay Where do I find where of those?

All right. How's the volume doing? It's fine. That's good. Okay. But naked. Blood naked. He's not upset at your joke.

He's mad that he's smell like fucking a bar at seven o'clock in the morning, bro. Look at him. Stumbling down the stairs. You got the nerve to tell anybody they're breaking any rules. This is the problem right here. Well, in his defense, he is a cop, right? So you might have been working the night shift. He's a security guard.

Oh, okay. Well. Is that sheriff? Does it? I'd be arrested if I had a gun on my head. If that says sheriff, I need to get fucking glasses because I don't see. I don't know, man. That kind of looks like security on this side now.

But he's got a gun. Well, maybe it is security. I don't know. He works for the prison system. Philip. County. Yeah, Sheriff. Sheriff.

The securities team. Okay. You know what they do to you in County? She wants to go to Leroy College, not any college, bro. Read the room. Yeah. Not MIT. Not Harvard.

L.C. Oh. L.Roy. L.Roy. I'm almost positive that that shit said Leroy old defendant Pretty sure it did You got to pronounce it different

It's fancy as Leroy Oh shit I didn't think about that Whatever was fancy I had one of those lines over one of them letters Yeah you're drunk Get out of here fuck oh Okay

They're setting up the drama I'm sad because I have to go work fast food And I don't have everything given to Yep A lot of cats I can already tell you what this house smells A lot of cats Yeah

It smells like piss and shit right It's a lot clearer than it would be in reality That's what I'm saying There's not nearly enough hair Just on everything For that to be a real cat house I believe this is friend of the show Is it? Is that D?

I believe so So, all right. She's where the budget went. Still not condemn them B horror movies. Well, she were just, is she actually reprising her role from the first critters? Yeah. I think so, which, why didn't you? I was busy, bro.

I was fucking hanging out on the Orville, you know what I'm saying? I meant to tell you, you knocked it out of the park with season two of Ted. Thank you. I appreciate that. She's got a, like, a secret, like, is this like a safe room or what? Yeah, she's like Jamie Lee. That's what I was thinking, a Halloween. But this came out first.

Did it? No. Oh, you're right. Yeah, Halloween came out before this, so this is totally biting. Was it? Okay. Halloween was 2018. Maybe she's the new bounty hunter.

Could be. Get him, D-WWall. She keeps her bootkins. Christ. I bet your blood look better than that blood. Just a guess, huh? It did. And it smelled like chocolate.

He's not dead yet. Is this Monty Python of the Holy Grail? Jesus Christ. Are they eating him from the inside? I guess. This is pretty good. It's not bad. His legs moving.

Well, he's got to act. like he's being eaten while being dead. It's the best he's got. Were they babies? Did it lay eggs inside of him? Is this like a critter bot fly? He saw how the camera, like, moved right to his crotch when it zoomed in on him.

All right, puppets. Look, this movie's already better because it has puppets, and they're not, like, trying to do, like, little Cigiters. That's true. Is this the Chiodo brothers again? Is it?

Were they involved in the... Probably. It's the famous sushi. famous sushi at the mall right next to the pub 7-11 it's a mall like where are you like sir there you go see this is like if they stuck us in this movie would be the creepy guy I'm more concerned with like where this movie's located and the fact that she just handed off like fresh sushi this doesn't look like a coastal air area.

That's good point. You're right, in the middle of the desert. It's flash frozen. Leroy College. Leroy College. There you go. I knew it. I knew it.

Yep, yep. What's going on? Tell me everything. They're going to Leroy College. What's up, Ness? Right next to Jamal University. That guy is here, is here, guys. He's going to tell us it's not a horror movie.

I never even seen it. What is this? Critters attack. Critters attack. Yeah, you just missed. You Brown. Or Dee Wallace. What's up, Niz?

Yo. Yeah, Critters movie from 2019. Wow. This guy's ears. I swear. They are. Dead later. He's enlarged for his head.

Yeah. He's like, I have to make all my facial expressions in this role. Is she just put a cassette tape in her car? Yep, cassette tape. You got it. Look at that. Look at that Leroy logo, too. That is fancy.

You're hitting it. This movie was found in South Africa. Everybody's just pimping their stuff to this random. Everybody's just pimping their stuff to this random fast food worker. He's like, hey, can you listen to this? Oh, look. What could be the best possible outcome of this? She ain't going to get you a record deal.

She's driving a jalopy with a tape deck. Man. He's just trying to impress her. She's hot. You know what? I'm pretty sure that my parents had that exact car. That looks really familiar. Yeah?

Is that the same one? That's what I was like, there's no way this car is still running. With the fucking tape deck. Holy shit, that looks. Old Cadillac. What? Number is this one. The last one.

Yeah, something like that. Yeah. Who is this girl? Has she been in anything? She's been in Curtis Attack. In some, uh, she was in, like, one of those, like, Seattleus commercials or something. Let's see. Is that what it was?

Okay. She was in... Don't take this if you're alerted to it. The Samuel L. Jackson Shaff movie. Oh, okay. Vigler remember that one. That was a one. while ago.

From that to this. It's been a minute. Yeah. So this is the fifth. Oh, she was in the sequel to the Samuel L. Jackson shaft. Shaff, too. Which was also titled shaft.

She's top build here, right? Oh, she's a singer. She's a swinger. Oh, God, that guy looks like, uh, Joffrey. Now, now we know the other, the other role he got before he committed suicide or whatever, huh? He looks like... He looks like... He looks like...

Somebody like stepped on the top of his head and squished his face down a little bit. Where are they supposed to be in this one? Like what part of the country? Leroy College. Brian said it was South Africa. That's where they... Can you tell from this? Could you tell him the huge L?

It's L. L. It's L.Roy College, bro. I'm assuming wherever the first one took place. Anytown USA. Anytown USA. That's it. Wherever they have sushi, huh? Where the first one take place? How is this their hot guys?

Kansas, maybe? I don't know. Weren't there cornfields involved, or am I thinking of a different movie? This place is delivering sushi. They're taking forever to get anywhere. None of it is kept at any sort of reasonable temperature. They're delivering salmonella left and right. Probably hot, too, wherever they are.

Yeah, right. This guy's head is shaped like a blight bulb. What are we doing here? It's like somebody smushed the ink on his face before it dried. Smudged it a little. Oh, Dee Wallis is not playing the character from the first movie. Well, that's a character, huh? Well, it's very stupid.

Her character in the first movie was Helen Brown. This movie, she's Aunt Dee. Listen. Aunt Dee. Oh. get it. In this movie, she is Helen Brown, and I don't care. Otherwise, it doesn't make that chick.

Aunt Dee kind of goes with the writing is with Steve. Because didn't they pull up to the mall? They did pull up to the mall at where the famous sushi next to the pub. And I'm pretty sure that one sign right there says refreshments. Oh, no, it says freshman. Freshman. They're polishing the candlestick. The plastic

Polishing plastic candlesticks Why is there always ladders that are out there that are like not fully set up? Why is this half? Why is this hug so awkward? What's, what's telling? Would you leave a ladder like that?

Either lay it down or stand it up. Yeah, no. I like Sometimes if I'm just putting it somewhere for a second. It's been there for this whole scene. Yeah. set up like they're not sure if they want to use it or not yeah

how far and it is are you guys long enough to talk about the placement of the ladder and not the story 16 minutes long enough to give us your cool of the weekness I thought it was almost still over yeah well just started we've only got one good kill

C.M. Pipe bomb. C.M. Punk's pipe bomb. Okay. Yep. Trying to go off on everybody. Talking about weird as Vince McMahon. Yeah. What? Want them to lower ticket prices at WrestleMania.

And I'm with that. Those ticket prices are stupid. Yeah, no doubt. $500 to be in the nose. bleeds no thing oh man and and that's buying them direct naz that's not from a scalper yeah it's like buying them from that's ridiculous or whoever and your view is obstructed and you still got paid right it's like four something but then with all that service charge and all the rest of that nonsense okay well i don't know i mean my buddy's my my buddy said last year they were like just handing out tickets

towards the end. Right. Even at some other pay-per-view or PLE, they were like handing out tickets because they

no one would line them. Adam left over. Is this the guy with the YouTube channel? Yeah, it's the first rated our credit movie. We go to a 10th of Woods and what do we get

this jerk off by himself? Come on. There we go. You're making all the bad decisions. That's pretty cool That is critters I like that effect

Good stuff right there Yeah I like that okay Now we're talking That's not bad What's that now What's that looks What planet did they come from

I don't know The Cricht planet Did they say what planet they were from Steve I think they're just Yeah it's like planet Cricht or something Or no it's like Planet Crichton It's one of those

Omicron No, it's not Futurama. What is it? Right. Damn it. Let's ask chat. G.P.T. Was Leonardo on one of these?

Yes. Part three. Okay, then that's the last one I had seen. Yeah. He wasn't in it. Academy Award winner, Leonardo. That's right. You got to start somewhere.

No, he was in it. He doesn't like talk about it. But what's his name? Guys, all right, here we go. Oh, sorry. Go ahead, Brian. Go ahead. No, I got it.

It says the crass, I asked chat G-P-T, right? So we know it's true. The critters come from the fictional, the fictional planet Crites. K-R-I-T-E-S. There you go. Kill dolphins when you use chat G-P-T. They are just munching on his nuts. I don't think you can, like, directly connect those two things.

But. Fun. Look at that bone, exposed bone. See, I like all this. All this puppet stuff is good. I know, that was pretty good. The critter chewing on the leg, I'm liking it. Why is you holding it?

They're in the deserts of South Africa, Nez. He's contemplating this. He's pondering the meaning of life. What is this existence? There's not a fucking ocean anywhere near here, bro. That sushi is the game foul. I know. It's flash frozen.

That's how you get. Sushi across. She's not bad. That's totally his real hair also. Okay, I got to the bottom of. She, Dee Wallace, is the same character. Is she? Is she?

Is she? It's a different name for legal reasons. For legal reasons? I'm assuming different studios. Yeah, that would make sense. Damn, bro, right in the fucking face. Can't be the same character. Hot.

Who came on his face? It does not look like bird poop. Close your mouth. Yeah, his reaction time was not. Is this why it's this why it's rated R? They got come shots. It looks like it was trying to catch it in his mouth.

Yeah, exactly. He's like, uh-huh, uh, look, you walked all the way back there, didn't try to wipe it off, bro. Come on, man, wipe it up. What are you doing?

It looks like, Dewee. I see some millet. I'm just going to stand him and look sad about it. That's pretty good. Since we don't have audio really, Steve's got to fill in. Oh, we're just walking back by the tree and something just jumped out and creamy right in the face.

This redhead does not give a fuck. Yeah, go wash yourself off, dumbass. Oh, boy. At least wipe it off. Holy shit. Got a shower in the back. This is where we get our nude scene. This is why it's rated our.

Oh, geez. That's not the nude scene I was wanting. Here it comes last full front of Move along I guess maybe it's I guess maybe it's not a wig Unless it's one of those Hair pieces that you can get wet and shit

Like in the commercials in the 80s You have my hairpiece Would you like my hairpiece? I give you my hairpiece Sky looks like a weird mix of like Pedro Pascal and like Hitler It's weird Jesus Christ

You know what I'm saying? is a combination right there. Wow. He looks like he belongs in the SuperTurban movie. Supertriors all the way. Visually. Oh, boy. Hubeo is like Mexico.

Looks like that baby shampoo. Johnson and Johnson baby shampoo. Yeah, they had to take all the labels off before filming. That's no bullshit, though. You have to do that. We had to put some black tape over crap. It's ridiculous. Really? How does that work?

No, definitely not no more tears. You put black tape over the logo. You tear a little piece off and you put it over the label. Oh no, it's a Critters Lupa. That was pretty good. I mean, ridiculous that he would pick up an alien creature and mistake it for a washcloth. Yeah, somehow it tracks with this movie. Heavy and moving.

Here they come. Hey, this is actually not bad. Hey, what's up with... What's up with his eye? I don't know, but, I mean, it's our way that we get to distinguish him from the other, right? Yeah, but... I don't know if something happened that I missed or what?

That one critter, like, opened his whole shit. Ah! Got the red head. Where are we at now? Time-wise in? So far, pretty good. Pretty good. I would say pretty good?

Yeah, not bad. 24 minutes. Okay. 24-minute mark. They're covering a lot of ground. We've got lots of cruders rolling around. We've seen some camera people throwing fur balls from off shot. That's really good.

We do have a lot of needless dialogue, you know. Like, I don't give a fuck what's going on. Well, they've got to fill out an hour and a half, you know. You're not intrigued by the reason why she's not going to LaRoy College. I don't even know why. I'm not paying attention, I guess. Why they're living with their white uncle, no? I have no interest in any of this.

I don't care. Bring your telescope. She's like super shitty to her brother because he's like smart. Yeah. You could like just come with her nerd stuff, nerd. Has your hair messed up. You have the same haircut that every teenage boy has. She looks very...

You have an afro and you're just wearing earmuff headphones. So yes, your hair is messed up. kind of goes with the with the territory is pretty cloned don't worry about what I was doing let me see the door is open

trying to figure out what's going on with the story here guys now now what's up with this do you care I guess not not as long as the critter show

oh she's gonna babysit okay I got it so why did the brother need to fix his hair to babysit why's he even there he wants to fuck the mom I mean

he's got Coming over to see somebody. I get it. I don't know if it's the mom. So far, you never know. It's winning in the looks category. I have all the other ones in the movie. I get it.

I don't know. Sushi Girl's pretty hot. Sushi Girl. You'll see that movie? Sushi Gras pretty good. Speaking of Keith David, he's in it. Oh, I didn't know that was a movie. Yeah, it's a really good gangster movie, man.

And the whole movie, there's a girl. there's a girl sitting on the, a naked girl on the table, and they're eating sushi off of her. Ah, one of those. That's the way that they do the presentation for the gangsters. And so she hears everything, right? Because they're doing a gangster meeting. So they have to kill her, right, after she's done serving sushi off her naked body? It's a pretty good movie. Check it out.

Has that Tarantino feel to it. You missed the joke, Lance. You missed the comedy from the movie. Wasabi What did sushi A say to sushi B? Wasabi So I think he wanted to come over there to see this girl Why? Okay

Because that's his crush I don't know, they're kids Kids are awkward He looks so much bigger than her Yeah he does Right Why'd they come back For the fifth time

How about we like me? It crashed out of space. Yeah, no reason. And so far, no bounty hunters. Well, one of them's got a melty eye, so I assume there's some kind of backstory. Well, when they introduced Dee Wallace's character, Ness, she has a

whole setup, like she's Jamie Lee Curtis from 2018's Halloween. She's got TV monitors and surveillance systems. Right. Waiting for them to come back? Yes. She's got her safe room set up.

Well, shout out to everyone to listen to my action returns quick review for the great 1981 and I for an eye for an eye, starring the late and great Chuck Norris. So all you guys are listening to that, thanks. We got more Chuck Norris coming. Yeah. Don't know. Nez, what did you think of the, I don't know if I got, what did you think of Screen 7? Did you like it? Yeah, it was all right.

They need to end it. It's just, yeah. They can't end it. Spring 7's the highest grossing screen movie into franchise. Bro, Gail's entrance into that movie, I was like, fuck you. Pretty bad, huh? Fuck you. And like, the killer's motivations just keep stumping me on this one.

I was like, wait, you're mad that she wasn't in the last movie? What? Oh, man. Screen 7 is trash. You missed New York? I don't know what to do with myself now. Oh, man. What would I rate?

Scream 7 would have gotten a two for me, I think. Oh, you're generous. What's the story with these kids? They live with their drunk uncle, and she can't go to the Royal College. She carries around nerd shit. Mm-hmm. Their drunk uncle's also the sheriff. Yeah.

But he kind of looked like he was a security guard. You're all caught up now, Niz. Leroy College. Also, don't forget Leroy College. And have they seen the critters yet? No. Which I'm assuming this is why they're at the park, so they can't see the critters.

I was saying, we're how far into this, and they haven't seen them yet? They're neither going to see the critters or the guy whose balls they were eating. Right. Yeah, that's probably... I don't remember. They came in the spaceship?

Yeah. So they're an invasive species. Apparently they're going to take over the whole fucking galaxy if they don't get wiped out. What the fuck is that? I don't know. Looks like a different critter. Like a spike critter. Like a maguire.

We have a rabies shot. They all got their vaccines, huh? Oh, look at that's a cute one. Hey, man. You're introducing like a good critter? It's not bad. He's so cute. I mean, it's cuter.

That's not bad. This is like one of those 80s movies, like Labyrinth or something. I'm like all intrigued in this shit now. I'm like, I want to know about this fucking white critter. What's going on with this guy? Wait a second. She. Bleeding.

Is that what it is, green blood? They establish it to her. But she's cute. Can't just leave it in the woods? If it was an ugly snake, we're going to leave it in the woods. But this is cute. It looks like that one thing in the dark crystal, the original one. Exactly, yeah.

It's definitely got those vibes. A gelfling? I know. Fizzgig. I think that's what it was called. Fisgit. Oh, those little roly-poly dog things. Yeah.

It did have the rose of teeth just like this. Fuck down, they only made the head of that puppet. Looks like it. So far. Cost too much, it's just to make that. No, that's going to be like the queen critter or some shit. This should tell you about the budget. This was a sci-fi movie.

Oh, that makes sense. Sci-fi movie or not? So far, they're doing a pretty good job with the critters element of the critters movie. Yeah. The rest of the stuff is... Most of them. Yeah, they've shown plenty. They've had some good kills.

That scarecrow movie, that sci-fi one, was pretty good. I liked it. Which one was that? I don't know. What did she have in that case? Her crikes killing gear. She's going hunting?

Looks like it. So she has the new bounty hunter? Is that what we established or what? She's got one of those extendo cannon guns. that the bounty hunters have. Okay. Is this an open carry state? Right.

She's here to protect Earth, I guess, right? Aunt Dee. He does look like a completely different age than him. Kind of creepy, huh? Yeah. It's not even cold and people got fires going. You're sweating in the house. Hey, Steve.

I hope we're not planning to reenact the one scene from Stephen King's It, the book, that didn't make it into any of the movies. Who? Huh? Oh, in this movie? You're going weird. Yeah, with all the kids. With all the kids.

Never even popped into my mind. You're a weird dude. But I hope they don't go there either. What is that one? I don't know, but they're going to be working. They're going to be working on that guy for a while. They're kind of taking forever to eat them. The guy's 700 pounds.

Well, they had that other dude's leg skin quick. They did, didn't they? Chewing a gnawing on the bone, huh? It's the princess. That's an awful lot of teeth for a little creature that you're going to take home with you. Mm-hmm. And the whole thing is just a big mouth. There's one eye.

They were like, what if we do critters, but like Gremlin's instead? What is he eating the shampoo? Couldn't have come at a better time because that was totally a Gremlin's thing to do. Sure. Is this set back in the day? How many old cars are laying around here? That's what I'm wondering. Is this a period piece, guys?

It's the same old car. Oh. You get what your budget can afford. I guess so. Nez, did you ever order all the cassette tapes from MCA or whatever, where you've ordered a bunch of them and never paid for the ones you're supposed to buy? Nope. I did that.

I did that. My dad had, he, well, he paid for them all, but that was back in the eight-track days. Oh, man. He had a bunch. Yeah. He had a bunch of all that. probably some good stuff in there. 12 cassettes for a penny.

So I became part of the Kiss Army. Through the A-track generation. What happened to her car? That's what she said. Ah, there we go. What's he doing back there? Messing up with cassette tapes. The leader.

Yeah, he's playing with the cassette tapes. A cassette tapes are coming back Everything comes back, right? Really? God knows video tapes have come back big time, right Steve? Hell yeah, fucking biters Still looking for red If you see it anywhere

Oh yeah The VHS That and gleaming the cube I have thrashing Didn't one of those have Christian Slater in it either of those other ones. Yeah, gleaming the cube had Cruson Slater. Gleaming the cube?

That sounded like it should have had, probably sure. Gleeming the cube. Weasel. I don't understand why other people can't just kick these things. They come rolling at you, like, balls. Right, right? Yeah, really. Can't be that hard to kick.

We're definitely getting our kills in. I thought that about dogs before, though. Like, people who get, like, bawled by a dog. Right. Like, a dog. Just keep. well I don't know man some of those dogs they get out of control man their their wolf instinct takes over you know yeah it's not often you hear about dachshund attack that's not really or a chihuahua usually it's one of

those big ones with the fight force that is really hard to actually i just looked this up not too long ago for some reason it did not only usually a pit bull it's almost always a pit bull it's almost always a pit bull There was like... Well, that makes sense. 350 fatalities by Pitbulls, and the next highest one was Rottweilers at like 40. Wow. But yes, but what they don't say is that, like, the actual attacks,

like the Chihuahua's and the Cocker Spaniels and those little fuckers, they're just not as lethal, but they attack on a scale. Yeah, that's... Wildly. Makes sense. There's these little dogs down the street from my house. When I go walking, they always come running and out. like they're going to do something

well they like bite the bite my pants my sweatpants yeah they just start pulling at it you kick them yeah I have that little motherfucker

I have I mean I I just assumed cameras are everywhere so I just kind of nudging a little makes sense if they're trying to bite you

how do you make them stop I won't kick them in the face they won't do that again I have my walking stick. I usually poke him with it. There you go. Oh, this is a tense situation. It's going to turn and bite you.

We got iodine? Looks like it. iodine. Or as my mom called it when we were growing up, monkey blood. This critter looks like Stifler's mom. Well, it goes along with this writing in this movie. Sure.

Snowball. Famous sushi. Mall. You know, I wouldn't bring some strange thing in my house? You sure? I'd never seen. I'd be trying to kill it. It's been pretty chill.

Maybe. The nature is to kill things you don't know they are, what they are. Yeah, but it isn't like it was trying to eat them. I'd bring it home. Yeah, that's what I was saying. I don't know how this car is still running. There's no chance. These are the old school cars with the ashtrays.

Oh, that's right. Stick your head in there, kid. What year was this one? 19. You're so stupid. It's not on the ground. It's not a spaceship. Not alien.

Aliens are in space. Hmm. Who's Jake? That's what I'm trying to. I don't remember a character named Jake. Was that the drunk uncle? No, no, it's her brother.

There's a brother? Her brother. Yeah, okay. What the fucking hair. The one looking in the back of the car. Has he said anything? That was Philip. Oh, the white kid, I got you.

Has he had lines? White kid, what kid? What are you talking? No, the other one. Oh, boy. No, the other one. the brother of the she's babysitting.

That kid. There he is. He needs a babysitter? He's been here the whole time. Actually, that's a good point. Both of those kids are like old enough. Well, maybe not. Oh.

Uh-oh. You're going to like stand there or kick it? Yeah, you guys called it. Y'all said all you got to do is just kick it. No, he's not okay. There should be guns in these houses. Space rabies. There's a car just driving down the street.

This is the fucking flower girl from Walking Dead. Is it? Yeah, she's, well, no, but I'm saying like... Oh. No, they're good. I promise. I know exactly what they're thinking. She's not going to eat this. We have to go in and risk our lives.

This is alien. You had me looking at out. same attitude on the house without any weapons it's just begging for it holy shit did they get hemmed up by something snowball toasted that motherfucker

I was probably hunting them then Bianca there's literally just a dude on the edge of the counter with his hand up that puppet's ass okay so this is a good one that's hunting down the bad ones. Is this

his sister's car or just the family car? I think it's his sister's car. They haven't explicitly said. Old school. Oh, we know it's not her mom's car. Big ass seats. She's dead. Is that other boy in the car?

Yeah, he's back there. He's behind the broccoli head. They're trying not to show him at all in this movie. He should be screaming. He's got a bit. You're talking about Jake? Is that the kid they're not showing? Yeah, from State Farm.

Car won't start? Well, yeah, it's from... It's from... It's from 1963. Fucking 40-year-old shit. Sedan. What are you doing? The car's probably got a million miles on.

Okay, the critter cut the transmission fluid or something, huh? Oh. They're smart. What's walk? Don't these kids have bikes? Walk. You would think so. The delivery guy in the beginning had the bike.

They're like in a regular town. Like walk where? It's 2019 and these kids don't go outside. Borrow that from another movie. Yeah, a little bit. That is a straight rip off. Where are all these props? Auntie.

Holy. with a vest and all this. Your highness. Hello, your highness. It is the queen. Yeah, here comes the story. Okay. I knew it.

Makes sense. He's cruders. They like how they had to establish that shot on a very empty road. Is this the only law enforcement officer still alive or what? Small town. That's why they only have mall. He does not have an alcoholic's office. Like, they need to do some better work with this, but I bet.

You got a bottle in that drawer. There it is. You think so. Steve, you called it. You got that bottle of hooch. Steve called it. Uncle Lewis. Jesus.

The town drunk and the town sheriff. That's a dangerous combination. This is by himself. The sheriff's life. Oh, man. He's going to go to an opium den and then shoot up the town. Kids of mute. Why didn't you go to the hospital instead?

That's a good question. You went to your drunk uncle. There is no hospital. There's only clinic. They're going to go to the hospital and walk in, and it's going to be their drunk uncle's fucking working at the hospital too. Right? Oh, hey, guys.

It's a very small South African town, right? You can't bring these kids in the office. I drink in here. Right. this is my me time office everyone's so shocked about walking

I hope he pulls another bottle out from somewhere else he probably will the plants he's he's got him hidden all over like he like their like their firearms right

and he's like he's like he's like he's like hey I got an alien in my car and he's like I don't have time for this shit right

drinking to do. It's almost five. It's five o'clock somewhere. Strike a time. Pull the flask out. Oh, this is the phone. He pulls a little tiny bottle out of the phone. He's ordering a bottle of whiskey from Uber Eats. He unscrews a little cap off the phone. If he turned and the camera followed him. He was on the Bevmo app.

Yes. I didn't know those. Those little delivery services can bring you booze. I think they bring anything you want. Not here. No? They deliver beer in Florida. They deliver medical marijuana.

Well, down there, you guys got like beer and wine in the grocery store. Oh, absolutely. Oh, you can go to a bar and drink as much as you want at the bar and then take a bottle home. Buy it from the same place you're drinking. Not here. In Florida. Yep. Nevada, you can drink 247.

The schicks for eight. That's how Florida man was created. That's right. Bad-ass old people stick. Yeah. Like a cocoon or something. I'm over it. Dee Wallace.

Yeah. Seriously, I was thinking that Dee Wallace shows up with her fucking black jacket and shit. It's like, this lady's like 70 years old. What are we doing? Hey, she looks so exhausted, too. Look at her. She's like, do I really have to do this fucking role? Well, I know it's for somebody.

I know somebody out there's like, oh, it's so badass, but it's not me. Respect the originals. I get it, but. Oh, boy. Is that one of the guns she got from one of those bounty hunters in the first one? Is it? Probably. Looks like it.

Yeah. There's definitely some kind of alien gun. Yeah, it don't look like our earth. gun. That's right. Space gun. Earth guns. Everyone got those those ARs.

That's right. Shoot some critters with an AR. That'd be fun. I'll shoot anything. Magway. 77. 70. Holy shit.

This is the prequel. To, uh, gremlins. That's, that's, that's making it. Another one. Are they making a part three? Yes. You know, maybe they should do like a prequel for gremlins.

You think so? Like, how did the magui get here? Could be. There are ancient creatures from China. Or explain the fucking rules. Does it change with time zones? Like, rules don't make sense. Well, yeah.

That's, that's open. What happens when Daylight Savings Times happens? Does like, the rules change with the clocks? Oh,

I hadn't thought about that one. That's a good point. Is there a window? Is it you can't feed them from midnight to two? We're like, they just say, you know,

after midnight. What time has to be a window? Because it's always after midnight. When can I? They can't get water at all? How do they drink? They have to live, right? Like, there's so many questions.

Yeah, after midnight until the sun rises. How do you clean? Okay. Yeah, they're covered in fur. He's getting a bottle of booze. Shit creatures, you know.

You can't wash them or nothing. I've got shitty asses all in the fur. Stuck to the fur. Or evil dead cam. What's that, Brian? Evil dead cam. That's right. It should be rolling.

I love how puppets sound the same in every movie. They're always like, I like how those craters were like bloating above the tall shrubs. That's good point. Peek over the top. Their legs are long enough to do that. He's looking right at it.

What the fuck is this guy looking at? I'm sure you got a shotgun in that. You think so? He's fucking, he's got the sweats, bro. He's got the sweats, bro. He hasn't had a drink in 10 minutes. He's going to open up his glove box, pull it a bottle. He's little mechanics, man.

They don't know what to pull. He's got the DTs. Really hitting home with this one, Steve. Who's he going to call? I didn't see no deputies. Yeah, he's by, you're the only cop. Whoever has been listening. Anyone out there?

You hear my voice. Come help me. Yeah, right. Nobody's coming for you because you're a drunk, and you fired everybody and nobody likes you. I should have ammo in there, a shotgun, an automatic rifle. I don't know why that seems so funny, but that's fucking hilarious. Is it like really windy or something?

Oh, it was the siren. Oh, he's training it, or what? It doesn't like the noise. Hey, he's having fun with it. Are we going to find out he's not the sheriff? Oh, he figured out how to kill him. He's not the sheriff. What?

That he was like fired months ago. He's cosplaying. Oh, I mean, that's probably true. He's still got the uniform. I want to take it off. He has to have a giant fucking label above the button. Like, I remember my first cop car. What the fuck?

Where is it? I thought about electrical wires. Well, that's how the critter killed the sirens. Oh, it came up through the floorboard. I used to have a car like that. Yeah. Hey, look, they're at the mall. Mowgli.

Yeah, for real. I'm getting mad fucking Gremlin's vibes right now. is terrible. Who pick was of this? Technically mine, but I mean, I didn't know this existed when I picked it. They gave it chopsticks.

We have to be completis. Did you watch Wishboard yet, Steve? No, not the new one. Did you like the new one? I did. But Dennis, did you like the new one? That's your answer. I guess not.

No, he liked it. I really, Nesson. I like it too. It's got the dude from stranger things in it. Vespa or whatever his name is. Is it better than part two of which board? I'm going to call him Vespa from now on. Part two.

I don't remember. Oh, boy. Where's Leonardo DiCaprio when he's going to stumble out of his cop-gall-drunk and shit? Oh, he crashed the cop-car again. Yep. Oh, Otis. Just another Saturday night.

Right. You must have borrowed that one. Don't even have the same color doors. Oh, does. You're back. There we go. Yeah, I went out for a second. Steve was wondering, did you like witchboard, the new one?

I did. I liked it. I got to check it out. It was better than I thought. Are they eating fluffy? Me. Funny. That was a very bad fake dog. That was not good.

That is a stuff too. Come on. Is that someone's shoe? Yeah. It used to be somebody's foot. You had the keys to him. Oh, boy. Uh-oh.

Fucking 12-year-olds out here looking like adults. That's my daughter. I got to watch out where I take her now. She looks like she's fucking 16. Yeah, got to be careful. I have a 15-year-old and a 19-year-old daughter's Phil, so it's a... Yeah. Guns are out, bro. She's pretty disinterested at the moment.

I'm hoping it stays that way. Yeah, let's hope. This blood looks a lot phonier than Steve's blood, I'm sure. That looks like barbecue sauce. They should have. I'm standing my white t-shirt. Looks like ketchup. It's killing me with that mini skirt.

How's he still alive? That's what my shirt looks like after I eat breakfast. It's the alcohol. It's keeping him alive. This is actually just a scratch. My blood's just so thin that it's everywhere. He's literally running on a fuse. Yes.

That makes sense. He's combustible. He cut his finger and that's how much you bled out. All the critters. All the critters that eat him get all fucking drunk. Yep, he's done. Uncle's done. Yeah, but who cares?

What are you crying for? He's not dead. He's just passed out. But they had no semblance of a decent relationship. He was like crying. And I didn't even pay attention on it. I know that. Yeah.

He was like, y'all kids get the fucking. out of here so I can't drink. Fake-ass tear on her face. Was it? Like an eyedrope, they used an eyedropper to put a single tier. Yeah. Oh boy. No makeup smudged at all.

It's like all this, all you're getting from me in this movie is a single tear. I like all of that stuff. All this puppet stuff is good. Damn, they're all over the place. What a fuck did all these people come? That's pretty great. We need more scenes like this.

Getting everybody in town. Were all these people at the pub? At the mall? I guess. Yeah, they were the drinkers at the pub, right? Looks like it was filmed on the back lot at Universal Studios. He left these kids in this car this whole time? With a car turned on.

In the garage. He's fucking drunk, bro. That full Titus erosis. With a garden hose leading from the exhaust pipe into the car. I like that they just bring all these. critters here and leave. Random people. We're out of here.

Hanging out of this. This is weird. Lisa left-eye Lopez. They were at Morrow and Pub. That's the best blades of the business.

Hey, there we go. That's a shark knife. Now that's how you take care of the sushi time, motherfucker. It's a sushi restaurant, but it's all Chinese decor. We got an old

catty and nonsense van and she's culturally inappropriate she's got a badass station wagon right why is she shooting

out but I sure know Scooby-doo! Scooby-doo! Every car in this movie is 50 years old. Are the cars older

in South Africa, Brian, or do you know why there? Oh. Why would I know anything? Look at us. Look how much money they spent on that Leroy College sign. You can't tease us. Leave us hanging.

Be right back. They didn't even get a real postage because he had to use tape. It's just a yellow piece of paper. They couldn't even get real posted. A post-it note. It's a tape of yellow square. Hey, Brian, what's it like in South Africa, dude? Well, usually.

Why are they not leaving town? I don't know. Yeah, they just keep like driving a little bit away and walking more. They're walking again. Are they at Leroy College? Yeah, yeah. I think so, yeah. We saw it on the sign on the plywood.

Oh, the plywood. Told me this guy was going to die. That's pretty good. They were eating. Take him longer than I thought. I thought he'd be dead for a first. I mean, not great execution. But like, that's pretty good.

No, I like it. Good puppetry. And he's getting eaten by the one that's all like super crazy hairy with like the eyebrows coming up out of everywhere. Now let's get back in the van and do something we should have done before getting out. Take a second to think. Get the fuck out. I have this bag of fur back here. We have to go somewhere.

Let's drive to North Africa. Let's get the hell of. away from these things. Drive to where they can't eat you, that would be smart. You got a deep-ass voice for a nine-year-old. What does that mean?

It's a weirdest line ever, huh? They're going to try moms. Hey, where did Dee Wallace go? Driving around in a station wagon. Okay. Looking for

them or just looking for the grites. Looking for good time. I don't know. Is there anyone here who can just let us in? Right? What is this? I don't have a life. I just stay here all the time.

Why is she in this place in the middle of the night? It's the school, right? She's decorating for the freshman thing. They were polishing all the plastic casings, remember? Oh, look at this guy. That's right. That shirt.

Fucking nips over here. Cold in that. You're wearing like an extra small shirt. That collar is gigantic. It's so big. Why is the hole so huge? He's the reason this movie's rated R. They're open that shirt a whole lot more.

He looks like a cartoon character that looks confused about something. could be could be looks like an after-school special that kid is definitely related to somebody in production he looks like the dad from seventh heaven is it maybe it's his son if this is 2019 do the math Steve

he should not be working in his school he was the child molester wasn't he in real life that's why I just made that joke is it child molester I didn't Yeah, he was messing around with his neighbor's daughter. Oh, walking around. He's the dad from 7th, 7th.

Wow. That's crazy. The preacher on TV. All right. Slice him how to fuck her up. Let's go. Wasn't that the one with Jessica Bealant it, or is that a different show? Oh, yes. Definitely the one with Jessica Bieland.

It was a commander dick and Star Trek. I think she was a child on that show, too. He wasn't Star Trek. Yeah, he was commanding. Fender Decker and the first one, the motion. Oh, come on. Here we go. Oh, yeah, look at me, babe.

It was in his contract. He's like, I'll do the movie, but I want to be shirtless. But like, why? You look normal. I know, stress. Like, he looks 100% normal. I think that's the whole, the whole stick, Steve. It's like this.

I did some extra push-ups this week. He took his shirt out because he's going to go fight the critters. Don't worry, Mama. Let's hope he dies immediately. Please. I've never understood that. Let me get naked to fight somebody. Kill, Shardney.

I got it. Florida man. More layers. I'm going to show you how tough I am by taking off my clothes. No hair on my chest. That's right. But shit, if I look like that, I'd run around with no shirt. to run another direction.

Why do you? All right. I gotcha. He was, he's the comedy douchebag. Nice. Yes. I can live with that.

He does have the, he does have the framework for that. Right. He's like, he's like the, he's like the fucking guy on a, was it? The guy on. Austin Powers, he's like,

nah! I was thinking of Raiders of the Lost Ark with the Boulder, but... I just watched that this weekend. He could have gone any other direction, but he chose to just come completely running.

Exactly, straight ahead, the way they're rolling. Absolutely. I was at my mother-in-law's house for Easter, and she doesn't have a whole lot of streaming services, but she does have direct TV. and they were playing Raiders of the Lost Ark followed immediately by Temple of Doom. Nice, nice.

Could have been worse. Yeah. So y'all said this one's rated R, but it was on the sci-fi channel or something like that. Yeah, I haven't... What it says, rated R right here. I haven't caught the rated R part yet. Yeah, that's a good point.

Warner Brothers put this out. The guy with the Nips, isn't that the rated R? Is that what it was? I mean, I guess. So because the gourd is not a lot of gorge. Are these like kids, like teenagers or? Yeah.

Young 20-somethings. Well, she's supposed to go to LaRoy College. Yeah. So she's legal. She's the big home way to put it. Jesus, Philip. Those other ones look like they're in. She's kind of hot.

Junior high. Yeah, I am. I'm not getting that at all off of this film. Oh, boy. Well, not the little one, but the... Not the big one. Not the big one. See that hot?

Pretty odd. Well, I mean, maybe, too. Okay. Opinions are like assholes. So they're in the school library, I assume, right? Bur. La Roy College. It's the Leibor Library.

Oh, man. Is it like pan over and it's just Dr. Seuss books? Right. Fulton County Junior College has nothing on this place, right? That's all we have in South Africa. I guess. I guess. Oh, Lord.

Let's guess the password. They're going to come up with it. Watch. Well, let's see. He liked Harry Potter. Someone that does this for a living. It's a weird place to put all that stuff for that door. That's what I was just thinking.

It does not look like a very secure lock. You probably just, you know, pull it. It's a wooden, wooden door. Try the birthday, see if it works. Here we go. Or since it's just in wire. First guess. Take the wire out.

It's just covered there. It doesn't even have a thing on the side. It's got double stick tape. It's got double stick tape holding it on the door. There's not even a lock. Look at that. There's not even a lock. Wow.

What lashed when they close it? well okay we can't really do that now that's yeah that's true there's so many times because like i'll be watching a show i'm like that phone is not even plugged in yeah what are they talking to like it's like an old cisco desk phone or something you know so i can't complain about all this stuff you work with what you got guns when you know stuff about guns every movie will fuck you up at that one oh yeah really yeah i'm sure that in cars too you know like Hey, at least in the John Wick movies, he made sure to change out the animation.

The John Wick movies are very realistic for being so silly. Right. What's her name was the, Mila in that movie Protector. She was changing out her clips. Yeah. Milojovich? Yeah, you guys see that movie?

Protect her? Pretty good. Is she just doing whatever now? Did you watch? that one with Batista that she did? What was that bad? That's what I'm talking about. Is she just doing whatever movie?

They got to make that Resident Evil money so they can make the next one. I didn't see her. I didn't see the Monster Hunter movie. I didn't see that. That was good. That Monster Hunter was hell of good. I thought she was out on the Resident Evil thing. She is.

They're making more. Robert Eggers is doing the next one. Stop it. Are you serious? Zach Krieger. Zach Krieger. Oh. I was about to say aggers.

That doesn't sound like his cup of tea. I was really close. I totally watched that, though. Yeah, that'd be weird, huh? They need to make another monster movie. Monster hunter. That werewolf one? Who, that's gonna, he's gonna make a fucking...

Monster hunter. That movie had us trying to believe T.I. was a military guy. Right. They didn't like warn this chick about the monsters. I, who's this guy? I have no idea. Some random student. I'm so sorry, bye.

She must have hated him. That's hilarious. He probably said something racist to him. He probably raped her or something. Oh, I don't go that far. He probably said something inappropriate. It is a college campus. That actually was pretty decent, comedic,

timing near at like yeah that was pretty good I'm not doing that this isn't terrible the movie's not terrible can we agree yeah don't everybody speak up at once

it's a movie I mean nothing against these kids man they did what they had to do they did the job right the best they could it's not up to them kind of riding on the coattails of stranger things here

Yeah, but there's no bikes True They had the one They walk everywhere They don't have bicycles in South Africa Philip, you didn't know that? That looks like a That one looks weird

Yeah, the north took them all Was it cheaper to Film down there then John Snow An African Civil War Some little town here Get out of this shitty campus Yeah it sucks here

Well there's the R rating If someone gave me millions of dollars to make a movie, I'd shoot it here. Would you? Yeah. In this small little town? Yeah, I'd film it here. I think they filmed these other countries because it's like tax reasons. Oh, I'm sure.

Yeah. No damage. They probably, the other countries probably pay them to come there. I would imagine. They needed a college. I can't imagine that they had the budget to go to any college in the United States and say, Let us film on your school. But that looks like a fake building.

That looks like pipes painted onto a fucking... You think so? Well, Steve wouldn't know. No, man. That little city shot where everybody was getting eaten, that was like absolutely a soundstage. You think so? I mean pub's not a real place?

Yeah, at mall? Pub. Universal sushi. Is that what it was called again? Famous. Famous. Famous sushi. Kind of like famous corn dogs when they had those in the mall.

All right. An air horn is not really high-pitched, though. You know that's how nothing has dust at all? Like, nothing is lived in. Everything is just sitting there. Oh, you're right. You're right. It's very, yeah, it's very phony-looking, right?

They were just in this shed. What is wrong with that one? That motherfucker's been through. Are they tripping or what? That motherfucker's been through it. That one in the middle of the middle. looks like Darrell Dixon critter.

Right. You little shithead. Could they kill them like this and the other ones? I can't remember. I think they're pretty killable all around. You can lie them on fire, you can shoot them, you can

run them over, you can step on, you can stab them. I know. I'm not sure why there's such a pain in the ass for anybody. And apparently, sound kills them too. So really But it seems like they're a little bit like roaches where they just multiply so fast that they get out of control and you can't kill them all.

Or like tribbles from Star Trek. Yeah. That's probably where they got the idea from it. I think so. At least somewhat, right? That's what they need to do. Make that enough to stun them, then go up and hit them with a bat or something.

That's a great idea. Why don't they fucking do that? Bro, why don't they just get... Get on the fucking riding lawnmower. Let's go. You know what I'm saying? Maximum overdrive those motherfuckers. Like get some good farm equipment.

Go over there with a fucking plows. It's dumb as hell. If I was in that situation and there's a bunch of aliens, I'm not going to end up at a standoff. I'm getting the fuck out of Dodge. Are you? You're not going to pick up a push broom? No.

Everybody had a weapon, but they're little kids. Why is the queen killing them? Why is the queen the good guy? Do we understand that at all? The queen is a robot. Oh, shit. Oh, thought he's going to have the force. That's why it's rated are.

That's the gooies. Have the force. Oh, wow. There you go. That's bad. We does have some pretty sweet arcade 90s arcade music going to. The synth music, always the best. at least pretend to swing the tool what are we doing

is that way they're just kind of posing with it huh yeah they're just playing field hockey there we go like it honestly it seems like whenever they attempt even slightly attempt to fight back they succeed right right yeah it's only when they just you know just accept defeat that they had taken over that chick's got a hammer and she's like smashing it

how come all these people that were came up against these things, they'd get killed instantly, but these little kids can just kill them all. Look at her, she's just holding it. She's just holding it beside her head and hitting it with the hammer. That was cool, that one that split in half.

Good practical effects. It is. It's the puppet smashing and all that. This is really good. Oh, watch out. About time. He's almost over. Oh.

Take it out. Yeah. You gotta grab that thing. Take that little spike out and stab him in the eye. See, look, she just shuffled her feet, and now they attacks over. Like, it really doesn't seem like they're that difficult to deal with. Look, it's not strong. You can pin it down.

Quit hitting yourself. Quit hitting yourself. Where the fuck is Dee Wallace? And it's all mouth. How does she ride the ground down? Yeah, pull that thing out. what did I say? Come on now.

Why didn't I work on her? I don't know. She stabbed the one good eye. What's it supposed to do? Put him to sleep? Yeah. Maybe they didn't have the budget. Look at how much of it is still in her hand.

Like that thing didn't even go that deep. It's just a nail. Barely in there. Pull that guy still standing there with a thing sticking out of his neck. Yeah, pull it out of your neck. Yeah, pull it out. He's smiling, having a conversation. No fucking problem, man.

Hell no, I'd be like, fuck, get this thing out of me. Oh my god, they do... Oh my, you just check it. Uh-oh. Yeah, it's not dead because you didn't fucking stab it. Ooh, there's the... There's the walls. There she comes.

Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, fucking dumb. that was perfect god we're gonna kill this white lady right he got a gun whoa hooper you are d

yeah she just did just read her lines right before they said action yeah she's like I'm a bound Honey Hunter. I checked cleared and then she went to work. I got to lean against this wall for a second.

I'm 80 fucking years old. She was like shuffling with a gun up to the group. She wasn't like power walking. It wasn't bad ass. She was like a like she was going to the grocery store. She had a few drinks and then sprung into action. I like your theme music. That's going to be stuck in my head forever.

Bop, bong, bong. He killed all them. The queen. That was happening simultaneously. A white one? Yeah, she was pulling an 11 in the school. Did we figure out why she was doing this? Look, and that looks like Matthew Modeen were following all of a sudden.

Papa. Right? It's like Papa from behind. Cool, I didn't. I wish they would do something with all this. She's got an alien gun in an alien Ghostbuster scanner. and it's never explained why. Shoot it.

Don't you kill her, you bitch. She just pretended. She, Indiana Jonesed him. Is she one of those little spikes? Yeah. They got really good aim with those things, apparently. Oh, this movie is feminist garbage. That's what we're doing.

I mean. Do we lose Lance? We lost Lance. it looks like it has beads here you said feminist garbage Phil and Lance was like I'm out of here there he is

so that I'm out of here well she's the only one that can stop these out of control toxic male crates come on dude you guys are reading way too much into this what did I miss I just stepped away for a minute is this it is this it

Is this the end? Please. I hope so. Until the sequel. Is that a vibrator or what? That is a model of a real gun, actually, that she was just holding. It's, I can't remember the thing. Okay, are we done?

What's wrong with the kid's neck? Yeah, he got stabbed in the neck with the one of those. Christ, just keep it in there? Somebody pulled it out. Yeah. Is he keeping it as a trophy or what? I'll just leave his alien thorn and stuck in my neck. It's been staked.

sticking out of his head for 20 minutes. He was out. He should be fine. State police is a long drive. Okay. Well, he's just walking around with it. These do look like the kids in stranger things that Vecna kidnapped.

Oh, the randoms. Oh, yeah. Even the one kid, the girl in the skirt. Looks like the one that was, what was the Dungeons of Dragons character? She carried around with her. They are all strangely. Like, in their own primary colors.

Like, yeah, the yellow one, the blue one, the red one, the green one. All right, here we go. They're like Power Rangers. Why don't you shoot it before it gets closer? Dee Wallace. Take the thing out of your neck already. This is not her finest moment, is it? That check was.

Help me aim? What the fuck? She got that sweet sci-fi channel money, huh, Brian? I guess. And a trip to South Africa. That's it. I got slimed. The slime didn't even come from the right direction.

That was anti-clinactic. That was. All right. That was right at bed. Okay. Oh, that was the final scene. That's it. Wow.

I still got the thing in his neck. They ran out of time. Ran out of money. Holy shit. They just fucking ran out, didn't they? Yeah. You were just like, ah, fuck it. That's rough.

Yeah. They didn't even do it. be continued, like that one where he found the video of the guy at the end of it. I wonder if there's a credit scene. There's got to be with how... We've got just enough money for some green goo on your face. That's it. Apparently.

Yeah, what is this? Nickelodeon? Uh-huh. Is there time left? Uh, three minutes. Do you sense a after-credit scene here, Brian? I don't know. I don't know if I want to wait.

Maybe 20, 20. Wait a minute. Oh. I fake this. Well, you guys even want to rate this one, or? It was like a five and a half for me until that finale. I'll give it a 10 for the effects. A 10?

For the effects. The effects were actually a lot of fun. Yeah, those were awesome. I think the critters aspect of the critters movie was actually pretty good. Yeah, it was. All right. I'll go four on 10. I don't even know what the hell was happening.

I mean, it just showed up. Oh, chow. What was the back story for these kids? Right. Yeah, I think this is a solid, like, a... Oh, Critters Attack. Five and a half? It does feature a post-credit scene.

Really? All right. Well, we have to talk our way to it. We shall see. I think so. I have fast forward. The return of Charlie. Blah.

But the Return of Charlie. The return of Charlie. The stuff was really good. Right? You come to watch a critters move for the critters. Not for the... Stupid people anyways. Yeah, I'm at like a five.

Yeah, I'm in the middle. Yeah, okay, cool. Yeah, I'll go five. I think that makes me. We'll watch it again. Right. I mean, aside from that last little scene, I mean, a lot of it was silly,

but the special effects were a fun. I like the puppet critters. I agree. I kind of like the good white critter. I don't understand it. Except that literally, that's what Dee Wallace said. It was like she was trying to come

and stop the, the male critters because they were going out of control. Yeah, but don't read too much into that. I mean, that's kind of silly. Don't read too much into it. It was the whole final line. It was pretty on the nose.

She hit you in the face with a hammer and you're like, that's not a hammer. So, Steve, what is the next franchise, the next random franchise we're going to get into? I looked it up while we were talking and there's four movies in the next one. so there should be a short little quick in and out, but we're going to do the Watchers series. There are four Watchers.

The Watchers? Didn't we do the first one? Oh. Brian, we did the first one, right? Yeah, for 31. Yeah, with Corey Hay. Rest in peace. No, at all.

There's Watchers 1, Watchers 2, Watchers 3, and Watchers Reeb. Okay, so. I don't know what I've ever seen any of them. There you are. For a bonus, can we talk about? the book also. I'll read the book and talk about it. Yeah. Just like you watch, they will kill.

Yeah, because I'll... Yeah. I'd like to listen to that audio book again, too, because that book is really good, the watcher's book. If you guys want to watch a good... Where's this post-credit scene? I don't see a post-credit scene. You lie to us, Phil?

We got robbed. I don't know. That's what it said. Okay, well... On the chat, G-Pt. Fucking April fools dust it's like late bro what is this the next movie guess not all right my bad as always we want to thank you guys for listening to another episode of the horror returns you can find us at thehorror returns dot com hit shop now check out all these new fucking t-shirts that steve's got for us you won't believe your eyes it's uh it's a site to behold so check it out um next week it's going to be back to

the movie theaters, I think, right? Brian? Yeah, we got a guess too. We got the new and the old faces of death, and I believe Matt Wood is joining us. If they have it, the UK, right? That's the acid test. But I think he's going to join anyway, right? I hope so.

We just talk about the old one. All right. Yeah. So Matt Wood from across the pond. So, Brian, until the horror returns again, hold on. If you guys want to watch a good alien invasion movie, watch Slashback. It came out in 2020. Came out in 2022. It's on Shudder and AMC Plus.

Saw indigenous actors. Yeah, up in Canada. I've seen that. I think it sounds familiar. I saw the trailer for it. Did you say slashback? Yeah, with these little girls taking on alien invasion. I've seen the trailer.

All right. All right. All right, guys, I got to go cook dinner. Oh, you know. This toxic male has to go cook dinner for the female. All right, so good night, South Africa.