The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #525: Watchers (1988) & Watchers II (1990)

Episode Date: June 24, 2026

We begin our Watchers retrospective. Cool of the week includes Disclosure Day, the Bad Boys franchise, and UFC Freedom 250. Trailer is Last House. The podcast spotlight shines on Slasher and the Final Girls. And we get feedback from Dave Duncan. NEW FEEDBACK CONTEST ANNOUNCED. Thanks for listening!  

Regings victims, for those of you who delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify gore, welcome. You have found the place where the horror returns. Listeners beware. This podcast contains major plot spoilers. and the foulest of language. Join us in celebrating the old and the new, the best, and the worst in horror. Welcome back.

Again, this is the horror returns. I am Philip. Lance is out again this week. He's taking his woman on a date. So that'll be fun. But with me, as always, is Brian. And, of course, we got Steve with us. How are you guys doing?

Hello. What's up, fellows? Long time, no talk. Oh, no. It's been a minute. It has. And I have some new stuff to show you later on in the show. Oh, cool.

I have used my time off well. Man, you're always working. Well, actually, I've been off of work for a little over a month. Oh, okay. I got a little bit more than a month left. to go and then I'll be back. So I've had a little bit of time on my hands to get some stuff done.

How's the movie going? Actually, we are finishing the monster suit build on Saturday. And if we have enough time, we might film some of that. All the filming in the woods and stuff is done. And actually,

I'm not showing you this, but I had to do some of the special effects. Actually, quite a bit of it. And I actually fabricated this, which was used in the movie. It's it's the tree limb that if this or this bolted onto the tree, right? Okay. And then the guy stood in front of it.

Oh. And it looks like it's just going. And then we were able to put a whole bunch of gross stuff on it. And then he was like standing on the ladder way up in the tree. And then this was on him. So like, you know, you just don't film the ladder. I mean, it looks like he's way up there. That's awesome.

We actually made a life size dummy of him by wrapping. an actor in duct tape, cutting him out of it, filling it with a bunch of bullshit, and then taping it back up. We put his exact clothes from the movie on that thing, and we literally shoved the dummy through the branch and had the dummy up there for a far away shot. It was awesome. Nice. So a lot of practical effects in this with a zero dollar budget.

Now you got to get a close-up of it, like falling off a cliff or something, because you've got to have that scene. Yeah. Well, and for the, for the horror film festival, we're talking about setting that up almost like a, for a picture opportunity, like just setting it on a post or something. You could stand in it and take a picture. That's a good idea. Yeah, so that was fun.

That's awesome, man. Brian, what you got going on, man? Still trying to get over this cold. Oh, I'm right there with you. Fucking summertime. I know. nobody else in my family is sick i've been like hacking shit up for two weeks it's driving me crazy no no sickness but i'm fucking getting old like today we were out at the store and like i turned

wrong and now my whole neck and back is fucked oh yeah it was turned me like oh did you did you turn too fast something man i don't know what happened yeah i was like oh god as soon as i turn certain age you got to know your speeds you can turn and bend over yeah it's like i'm afraid to sneeze too hard might throw my back out you know yeah i just tripped over the cat the other day and i was like man uh one of these days before too long i don't know if i'm gonna be able to catch myself on that for real because right now it's no big deal but yeah you know you're 60 years old that becomes a problem i always think that about like really tall people because i'm sure I went 5'8.

But like, if you're like really tall and like you trip, that's such a longer way to hit the ground. Yeah. You know, like that's an extra two feet. That might be the difference between life and death right there. That's true. Gonna have gorilla arms. All right. What's, uh, what's the coolest thing we got this week?

You know what? I'll start out. Um, because it's, it's been a minute since I've had a decent one. So I actually have one. Sort of. It's, uh, disclosure day. I finally saw it. Nice.

Yeah. It's all right. That's what I heard. Yeah, like it's nothing. I was really hoping for something big, like some new information or something, like something that makes it seem more real. Like reveal this in your movie.

Yeah. You have permission. Because otherwise it's kind of a boring concept. Yeah, I heard it was love close encounters or not. It was essentially the same thing. like a lot of buildup build up build up some fun stuff at the very end and then it's over yeah but close encounters was like i have a lot of respect for close encounters that was a great movie you there's a lot

of stuff in the middle sprinkled in there like the little kid running out there and disappeared and all kinds of shit that really sticks with you it takes a while to get there but that was a good one like this is the story is like super straightforward the villain's kind of cheesy it's it's like nothing special, you know. I wish, if they're going to tell us something, freaking tell us something. They keep dropping these stupid little breadcrumbs. Here's a dump of 5,000 UFO videos go through them

and they're all like balloons and shit. You're just giving us crumbs, dude. We need something real. Or I'm going to stop believing. It's funny on the geeks. Will's been getting more into some of the outer out there more conspiracy theories that I like to entertain. Yeah.

And I always just told him, I was like, just look into a tartaria, man. He was just like, what? I'm like, just go ahead and look into it. Oh, I don't know what that is. You don't know about the Tartarian Empire and all that shit? No, but I'm going to look into it now. You got to look into that. It gets into like our history and like a bunch of weird things that happen in

American history that don't really make sense. Oh, okay. Interesting. Very, very cool. so some Anonaki type shit I like that I'm like

all right yeah well where'd all these huge ass buildings come from when we had like five people

in a cart in a year that's what I'm saying yeah oh yeah they just built that in a year yeah

okay so it's very very cool oh okay interesting all right I'm gonna have to look into that that's that's cool

the tartarians like tartar sauce yeah like Tartaria, the land of Tartaria. Yeah, it's an interesting little concept. All right, I'm writing that down. That is a rabbit hole.

Who else has got a cool of the week? I can go real quick. Yeah, I got a list. I forgot I didn't talk about things last week. That's right. I actually listened to it. So I've been having Like Phil said, the disclosure day wasn't really okay.

I feel like that's kind of been most movies this year. I was like looking forward to a lot of stuff. And most stuff has just been like okay. Like, Master's the Universe. It was all right. I wanted it to be super awesome. It was good. But like it wasn't.

Yeah. I haven't seen it, but I've heard like I've sort of heard good things. It's good. We gave it a high psychic. So he's going to be better than like a seven. It's got better than dog fun during, right? Yeah. It is.

it's by far better than that but you know I still have some nostalgia for that one yeah this one I don't have enough time with yet but some of that stuff like Jimbrough Skeletor like you just can't be you know that's some good shit right there and they make some really interesting adult jokes in there regarding Fisto so it's pretty good um but so I've been like watching a lot of older movies lately. Like, I watched kindergarten a cop yesterday for the first time forever.

Fantastic. It's wild that they'll let kids say on camera, man. It's like there was so much more sex and shit in there than I thought that I remember there being. But in watching some older stuff, I went back and we watched all of the bad boys

movies. One, two, three, four. And I know I had seen three and four, but it had been a while. And I didn't really remember much about them. But, man. I love all four of those movies. They're pretty great.

They're so good. Each one of them is, I mean, you have to kind of submit yourself in the land of disbelief where somebody can be shooting a machine gun right behind you and it doesn't hit you.

Also, you can walk out of buildings that are exploding if you're a main character. Unharmed. But there is some funny shit in there, man. Martin Lawrence and Will Smith is just a combination

that's really hard to to beat. And the side characters from three, you know, I was like, eh, but then like in four, they were,

you know, more part of the team. I appreciate it. So, I don't know, I just had a whole lot of fun with bad boys as a franchise. I don't know if you've hit that franchise yet,

Brian, on action returns, but man, those are some fun movies. It is on the list. I have to woo-saw shit on a daily basis. Don't we all? Yeah.

So I guess my cool. the week would just be the bad boys franchise all right uh first movie i forgot to talk about last week was primal darkness this is on the you guys heard of the app

found TV where it's nothing but found footage movies it's like it's like to be oh but for found footage movies oh i think maybe you talked about that one time that does sound good yeah this one's okay it's about a guy he's got like one of those like wilderness

YouTube channels where he goes out in the woods and hunts and survives for a couple days and he comes across a body part and he overheard some story

about some researchers that went missing and then... Is it a penis? No, unfortunately. Just curious. And it kind of jumps back and forth from the found footage of his tape because he ends up going missing. And then they find the tape of the researchers. And you're kind of jumping back trying to figure out what happened to both stories.

Sort of that like that, uh, Diatlov Pass movie? Yeah. Okay. I can dig it. But, yeah, found TV is pretty cool. Like, it's all found footage movies. A lot of independent stuff and some stuff that you'll recognize on there.

And I checked out this movie called, what was that? I was just out. Sorry, I haven't heard of that yet. I'm going to definitely check that out. My mic was muted, so I apologize. Okay. Checked out this movie called Buffet Infinity. It's super weird.

it's like a series of fake infomercials and commercials that as you watch them they get more weirder and darker and in the infomercials and commercials there's like two restaurants like battling each other and it cuts to these news stories are like people going missing and there's some is it like a coherent movie or is it like uh at first i didn't think that so, but as it goes on, you get what they're trying to do. Oh, okay.

But it's like super weird and very interesting. I don't know if it's one of those VHS, I can't remember the name of, you know, what are they doing VHS with a bunch of different directors? Anthology.

Yeah, I think it's directed by the same, I think they're all directed by the same guy. Oh, okay. All right. So this one, you got a different idea. Yeah, that's cool. Definitely original.

And I forgot to talk about, remember we checked out that trailer, pitfall? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. I don't remember what it was about. The Slasher in the woods. Hikers, one of them falls in a pit, pit of spikes. Oh, that's right. Yeah, you can skip this one. Yeah. And they kind of waste the slasher, which I did.

know when we were doing the trailer that he was played by randy kotour and that kind of they kind of waste him well i mean randy kateur's not known for his acting prowess he's been a couple things though yeah but he's been like fucking these people out like super bad how old is randy tour now because like he's gotta be in his late 50s he's got to be old Like, he was the old one I was a kid. Let's see, what else did I watch? Oh, I checked out Michael, the Michael Jackson biopic. Oh, yeah?

What do you think? Liked it a lot. They did leave out a lot of stuff, which I suspected because it is made by the family, so they didn't get into none of the controversies. Well, that's fair. Yeah. Did you watch the, have you seen the Netflix thing on it? no i heard i heard it was bad randy couture is 62 years old i figured he was probably in his 60s by now

he didn't he didn't look it in the in pitfall that's a thing nobody does anymore right like people that are like in their 50s like veer wings out there at 70 some years old not looking like 70 year old i don't know what's going on they're drinking that baby's blood yeah i was about to say all the baby but Michael was good I thought everybody did a good job in the cast Yeah, no, the Netflix thing was like Tough to watch because man, there's like a There's like a lot of evidence

Like a lot Yeah Like Fuck man, I think he did it I checked out this other horror streaming Out because I got a discount code for it Cranked Up TV Okay

You've heard of this one There's so many I haven't heard of any of these you're talking There better be some shit exploding This this specializes In independent horror movies Oh So it's kind of like

Not what I expected at all from cranked up TV That would have been like fourth on the list Yeah I checked out two films One called ketchup on waffles And the other is called Stocker Jane. Catchup on Waffles is, do you guys remember the first, the opening intro

to the first VHS movie where those guys are like sexually assaulting people and like breaking stuff and not specifically. Yeah, it's been a minute since I saw the first VHS movie. Well, you kind of just take those guys and just kind of

amp it up a bit where they kind of run into this diner and take everybody hostage by gunpoint and are, fucking with people and killing people. It's super low budget, but it's pretty interesting. Waffle House Escapades?

Yeah. Okay. That makes sense. And Stalker Jane is essentially what you think it is. It's a chick that's stalking. She falls in love with this guy. He's in a band, and then she's like helping his career,

and she's like interfered with the band and super stalker-ish and then they kind of find out she's done this before with other bands okay yeah I think I remember seeing the preview for that spot those red flags sooner man

yeah yeah this one was pretty interesting the main chick the stalker Jane chick did a pretty decent job She's in nothing I've ever seen before So A lot of new people making waves lately I like that And a little sports talk

The NBA finals were Very entertaining And USC 250 was Probably one of the best cards I've seen In a long time Not 250, Freedom 250 I heard that I haven't seen it yet

but I heard it had like some of the, like everything was a knockout and, uh, like there was some really good fights. Yeah, no need for judges in any of the fights. Nice. Dang. That's a good time. Yeah, I don't get, uh, sporting events that cost money. So. Well, the UFC, they, they're doing the Paramount Plus thing.

Oh, I don't have that either. I have to cut, you know, streaming services are expensive. I have the big, the big ones, but like I don't have peacock or a Paramount Plus. Yeah. Well, Steve, there is a deal going on right now. You get the first two months of Paramount Plus for 99 cents for each month. And after that, it's $14. So you just make sure you cancel it before.

There's just not a ton on Paramount that I watch. Yeah, I ran into that too where I'm just like, I don't really watch all the Star Trek shows. Yeah, that's where I'm at. But if Paramount, if the sale goes through and they buy WB, then I'm going to have to get Paramount Plus because all the DC shit and Warner Bros. shit's going to be over there. Oh, yeah.

I heard they're keeping everything's the app separate. Oh, I mean, I wouldn't surprise me considering how much they're like, oh, we could just keep them separate and double dip on these fuckers, you know, yeah. Yeah. They probably will. but all started with CBS all access it did it did that's when it started and all this plus shit everything we got a plus next to it

did you see did you guys see the mandolarian and grogan no I'm not caught up on the series so I didn't want to go into it god that's what I'm talking like the movies this year I heard it was okay but it just felt like a couple of throw away

episodes all stuck together. Yeah, it was a long episode. Yeah, the characters were no, nothing changed from when the movie started to when it was over. There was no growth. I'm getting, look, baby, Grobu's cute. I get it. Right. But it's been like six years of cute.

And at a certain point, I need him to do something more than coo at the caterer. Right. Like, I'm just tired. Like, I get it. He ages slow. But, like, do something. Have him go out to space and come back. and like so much time has passed.

I don't know. Like, figure it out. I'm not waiting around until, you know, if you age him in real time, I'm going to die before he ever talks. Mm-hmm. A old age. Do a time.

Make a good story, man. I mean, the current Star Wars timeline. A teenage Yoda. That sounds awesome. I know. Something. But there was, I mean, it was great visually, of course.

You know, great visuals. But the story left me wanting more. And then I can't remember. I know Lance liked him, but did you guys like that movie or no? Not really. I thought it was, it was fun,

like it was pretty. Like, and it was like, Marlon. Marlon did an awesome job. Yeah, Marlon did badass. Like,

it really liked, it was cool stuff. It just wasn't put together, right? Yeah, I really liked the, the football scene where, like, they were practicing and like,

when he finally, like, when he knocked that one dude out. yeah like that was like a really cool scene but then like all that stuff at the end it just got really weird yeah it started strong and then kind of lost me at the end yeah yeah Netflix has had some good stuff when we're like do you guys see caught stealing no have you seen that with Elvis yeah with what's his name and Zoe Krabbits is in there I haven't seen it yet Matt Smith it is worth your time And that movie is a lot more violent than I thought.

Like, and if you're nothing else, watch it for Vincent Dionofrio. And what's his name that played in, he played Sabretooth, and he also plug us in screen movies. Liv Shriver. Yeah. Those two as like Orthodox Jewish assassins, like with the curls and all that. Like, it is a good time. It's a really good time. I don't have to check that out.

That sounds fun. There's like real stakes. Like, you're like, oh, it's a funny movie. Oh, shit. that person's really dead. Okay. Like it's on Netflix. Like the first,

the first, the opening scene in Snatch. Dude, it's good. And Austin Butler, that's his name. He did a really good job. And it takes place in New York

in like 1997. I love how they place it in times where they're like, cell phones just aren't really readily available to everybody. Yeah. So I think that helps sometimes when you're, because a lot of times I'm like,

well, just Google me. What are we doing? Why are you going to do? library. But that's good. And then if you're on Netflix and if they have a Lord of the Flies

show that they dropped on there, very good. Is it? Okay. Yeah. Skim past that I haven't watched it. I'm a big fan of the movie with Baltis Overgetti from back in the day. That movie made a big impression on me when I was younger. And so I found out BBC

was doing that show. I watched it by other means before it ever hit Netflix. But it's really good. It's really, really good. It's a show or a movie? It's like it's four episodes. Oh, okay. Like a limited series.

Yeah, cool. I like that. Lord of the Flies in four hours. You get to know a lot of the kids a lot more, so when shit goes down, it hurts a lot more. That's kind of perfect. I get to the list.

I think that's all. Oh, I did watch scary movie again in theaters. My two daughters and my sisters. and law wanted to do like a family movie day and that's what they chose what they think they liked it but they kind of went into it with the perfect mindset there they they heard the criticisms about it but they were like it's a way's movie yeah it's gonna be down yeah so after the second watch i am gonna raise my score from a five to a six okay Not bad.

It could have been worse. Yeah. Put that on the box. And I think that's all I have. All right. What are we got for horror headlines? Let's see. News.

We'll start with TV. Have you guys checked out the Duffer Brothers Supernatural Mystery Series, The Burroughs on Netflix? I have. It was okay. Canceled. Yeah, it's fine.

It was a stranger things with old people. Oh. At one point they were literally hanging out with backpacks and flashlights. So I'm like, oh, like, we're really just doing stranger things with little people in the desert. All right. Mark, Mark Hamill joins Twisted Meadowlke Season 3 cast. He's all. forgot about that show.

Guess what? Mark Hamill is the star of The Watchers 4. Oh. Awesome. Still get some work every once in a while. Peter Sarasgarh joins the cast of the last of us season 3 playing a new original character.

Which one is Peter? He's the one that was in the Greenleaders. He's the one that's not a Scars guard. He's a star's guard. Oh, okay, I got you. He was in the first, what's that, orphan? What's that with the little girl who's an old lady? What's that, what's that called?

Yeah, that's an orphan. Oh, okay. Yeah, he was in the first one of that. Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, he was dangerously close to making out with a child in that movie. Yeah. I don't know, like that show really took a dive for me, the last of us like season one i i was okay with i thought it was pretty good was hoping season two would

be better and to me it was way worse i like trudged to the finish line there are i don't often turn away from sex scenes but i had to in that one i was like no i'm good yeah good i'm good yeah there's been a bunch of shows where i was like really all in on the first season and then i just totally like like stopped watching. Like that was one. Yellow Jackets was another one. Yeah. I don't even know where they went with yellow jackets. Yeah. Great. That third season? Yeah.

Yeah. Let's see. Apple's hits. Apple's hit series, Widows Bay is renewed for a second season. I got to check that out. I've been hearing good stuff. Yeah, I checked out the first episode. It didn't really grab me. but I was going to continue with it but after hearing everybody

rave about the entire season I'm definitely going to finish it yeah sometimes it's I don't know if Apple releases everything all once but sometimes it's better just to wait until you can binge it all like that's what I did with Monarch

everybody was complaining about Monarch you know the Godzilla show yeah they were I don't know I was catching a lot hearing just a lot of complaints and I waited until it was all out and watched it Like two days. It's great. It hits different when you can watch the whole thing.

Yeah, it really does. See, and that's one I've got to get back. Well, actually, I've never watched it. But it's always kind of been on my list. Is it done done? Are they finished with it or is it so going? Which one? Monarch.

I think season two is done. Oh, okay. So it might be a thing that keeps going for a while. I almost want to wait until it comes down. That's what I did with The Walking Dead. I went through like the first four seasons in a few weeks. Well, the cool thing about it is it's got Kurt Russell, who plays in the current timeline as himself. And then Wyatt Russell plays him in the earlier timeline.

It's really good. And I kind of love everything I see Wyatt Russell in. Yeah. Phil, when they do the transitions from the past to the present, they look exactly alike. yeah he's got some of the same mannerisms I've been noticing that because he was in disclosure day

was he captain whatever's name is captain john whatever a US agent he was like the boyfriend or whatever like holy shit what's he doing here how'd that one guy do with the funny looking guy

uh he did good isn't he like up for James Bond? Oh, it does not strike me as James Bond, but okay. Yeah, I mean, I don't think anybody did bad. I think just the story. What's her name? What's her name is pretty badass. Emily Blunt.

Yeah, Emily Blunt's kind of great in everything she's been. You know, it would be a good James Bond, I think, would be if you put Aaron Taylor Johnson in there. He's British already. I could see that. After watching him in Bullet Train in the suit. Yeah.

I loved him in Bullet Train. He needs a win after Craven. That movie was not his fault. Yeah, for sure. Swinging in this. I even tried to watch that one. I couldn't tell you anything about it. Yeah.

I think I lasted a little bit longer with that than Aquaman too, but I did turn off. I watched it I've never seen what's his name Skeletor is a What is it

Morbius Oh Morbius I've never seen that one That was bad That's not good either You know I did finish that one And I finished Madame Webb

But that That was just kind of like Like I was just Trying to figure out If it was real Like no way I can't believe They did this

Are you kidding I know really crazy. That was almost so bad it was good. Oh man. Almost.

I don't know that makes decisions sometimes but I need to look into that. Movie news for getting evil dead burn next month but the next movie

Evil Dead Wrath I believe is rap filming and it has come out that it is set in 1972 which is essentially is a prequel to the original. Oh.

Evil Dead movie. Okay. Like, how did everything get to the cabin in the first place? Possibly. All right. Well, at least, I mean, they're going back to the woods, back to the cabin. Yeah. So that's cool.

Well, I think this one's set in. Let me double check before I talk out my ass. Oh, yeah. Maybe it's not. It's set in. Thought I read it was set in a different country. But that's cool. Go back into some real Book of the Dead lore.

I mean, you could make it, you could even make it like pretty serious. And I think make it cool. Well, another thing about the evil dead rap, apparently they have to cut a lot of stuff out to even get it to be an R rating. So I'm tired of watching butcher get horror movies. They always say some shit like that, though. you're going to see the stuff that got cut and it's like what that's i don't know i mean that's true with some in some cases for sure but then like i don't have you ever seen kingdom of heaven but like the theatrical version of that is not good but the

director's cut whoa it's like a different one same thing with daredevil like with ben affleck the director's cut is a completely different film like really it is there's a cooio is a main character There's like a whole fucking subplot with crooked cops. Like the whole sex scene with Jennifer Garner, Ben Affleck wasn't even in the director's cut. Like he left her ass on the roof. He's like, I'm out. That was it. You know, I don't even think I've seen that movie since it came out.

I didn't even know there was a director's cut. I may have to check it out. Yeah. I always wanted Ben Affleck to make it as a superhero. I was really rooting for him as Batman. He was fine as Batman. Yeah. Did you ever sit through the?

four and a half hours of Zach Snyder's justice in. Oh yeah. Loved it. It was so good, right? It was way better. It was great. It's a shame.

Pattinson's all right. Yeah. Oh, yeah, they finally started filming that one. I guess my issue with Patinson is that like, we already had the super realistic Batman with Christian Bay.

And now you're just doing it again. And like, I kind of, wanted a more fantastical stuff where you can bring in some of the crazier elements from batman and you know you don't have to ground everybody the penguin can look like a short little penguin man and you don't have to you know put colin feral in a fat suit i i mean hopefully james gunn's universe if they even get there to batman will be more fantastical but we'll see yeah i

think maybe it's time for that because we've we've been going on the super realistic superheroes for a while now. Maybe it's time to cheese it up some. I can't see certain villains in the Patinson film. But you never know. What do you think about

Sebastian Stan, possibly playing Victor Zazz? That's fine. I think it's well, if anything, because it's kind of a not an awesome villain to me. He's a cool guy, cool villain, but he's very low on the list.

for Batman stuff. Yeah. But, you know, Matt Reeves and Sebastian Stan can, I think they probably could turn that into a cool concept. I mean, it is a cool. He's a serial killer that has cuts on him for every kill he has, and he's just covered in cuts. And, you know, it's a really cool concept

if they were to take and kind of flesh it out more. Okay. And while we have you here, Steve, what did you think about the next? Spider-Man trailer? Oh, it looks great. I mean, I watched it when it was leaked like two weeks ago. But it was cool to see it in HD, but it looks, that one is going to be, it's going to be good.

Every Tom Holland Spider-Man movie has been good. Every movie that Tom Holland Spider-Man has been in has been good. Yep. So I don't think they're going to miss the mark here. It's a different director than the other three, but I don't think. It's going to be a problem. Shang-Chi director, right? Mm-hmm.

Okay. You know, it's got freaking, it's got Frank Castle in there. And after the Punisher show that they dropped, or the one shot, which was really, really good. I'm excited for that, and I like the way that, you know,

he's about to curse and then Spider-Man blips him right in the mouth, so they keep that PG-13 rating. Mm-hmm. But you can't have one fuck, so maybe they give that to the Punisher at some point. Yeah. I don't know if there's been a bad Spider-Man movie.

I mean... The Amazing Spider-Man, too, wasn't very good. It had some cool moments. Yeah. I did not like Electro. They did the fucking joke. They did Ridler from Batman Forever. Yeah, the Electro was bad.

He fell into a fucking a pool of electric eels in the server room of a company. Like, what are you talking about? You wanted more fantastical. Oh, man. That's a little much. A little much. And Spider-Man 3 with the Sandman and Venom. Come on.

Yeah, I know. There's definitely some... The Venom is introduced by a fucking meteorite hitting the ground right next to Spider-Man's motorcycle and he doesn't notice his spider sense doesn't tingle one bit. Come on, man. There's definitely some lower-tier Spider-Man movies, but they're all way better than like anything else right now.

give me another Spider-Man, I'll take it. Let's see. What about Sadie Sink? You think she's going to be Gene Gray? I think so. I mean, it's not just because she's a red. That's what I saw. She's doing some weird shit with her hands,

and there seems to be some sort of telekinetic stuff and, like, jumping into people's head kind of thing, which Gene Gray is very famous for. So. Okay. Maybe. I mean, I hope so. I hope so. I hope they don't, like, make her be some.

character nobody even really knows about yeah and I'm happy we get a Hulk that's not like handing out tacos and shit to people you know like we're getting fucking we're getting the Hulk back so that's cool that is cool what do you think about the rumors that they changed the color of the Hulk for the trailer and he's actually going to be gray Hulk in the movie that would be good I mean you know we've had a red one we've had green

in all that shades. So yeah, throw the gray one in there. That'd be freaking sweet. Maybe. And that'd be a good, a good, uh, kind of juke out. I don't, I don't think, has anybody done that before though? Like put something in the trailer that. Yes.

Was just completely misleading. Yeah. In the trailer for, uh, Infinity War, they had the Hulk running with everybody, all the superheroes. And in the movie, it was homeboy in the Hulkbuster armor. Yeah, you're right. Okay. So, like, they've definitely done some shit.

In the spider, the first Spider-Man Millway Home trailer, they only had Tom Holland jumping against all the villains. Oh, yeah. And in the movie, it was all. And when people were breaking down that trailer, they were like, look, as Tom Holland's flying, like the lizard's head, like, turns like it got kicked. Oh, yeah.

Nobody's there. So, you know, and in this one, in this trailer, you see, like, all these hand soldiers. Yeah. Not in this one. I think it was in the first one where all these hand soldiers were jumping, and Tom Holland was by himself jumping at them. And I was like, I guarantee like, this has to be Daredevil or somebody in there.

Come on. Yeah. So. Daredevil Punisher and Spider-Man kicking ass. Street level. Come on, man. That sounds fun. Awesome.

Frank Castle's like, I got somebody you should make. Like, I got to get a fucking Wolverine, man. Well, you got the Wolverine and Deadpool. I know. I want a new one. I want a new one. I've wanted a new one for a long time. It's time, guys.

Let's go. Well, I think that you're going to get that one, the X-Men, after, you know, it's going to be a few years, but because they're going to do Doomsday and Secret Wars. Yeah. And you know Hugh Jackman's going to be in both of those. Oh, yeah, that's a good point.

They're saying that after that, the first X-Men movie is going to be like the original team, like Beast, Iceman, Angel, Cyclops, and Gene Gray, I think is it. Okay. I was going to take a little bit phrasing over it, I think. When did, yeah, because when did he go come in?

It wasn't that long after the X-Men were there, right? Oh, I don't know. I can't remember. I don't have the timeline, yeah. Yeah, anyway. All right, the Duffer brothers, talking about them guys again, are directing an untitled event film for Paramount that's getting a theatrical release in November, 28.

So they're jumping from TV to movies. It's always funny when they say things like November of 2028. I'm like, you put in a lot of faith that we're going to make it that film. And that's a long ways away. We've got to start getting some of this shit out. I was going to be able to go to a theater in 2020. Obsession director Curry Barker may turn his $800 YouTube movie into a bigger feature

and that was the movie Milk and Serial I haven't watched that one I heard you were talking about it though you liked it right yeah it was pretty good it was impressive what he

you know like I said he only spent $800 on it I wonder what that what they factor into right because like I'm doing the movie and we spent

a few thousand dollars but most of it is on food you have to feed everybody you got to feed the crew and feed the actors and like since we're self-financing like you got to cover that and it's it's a lot but jimmy johns 50 people is crazy and then the director don't want to get fast food yeah he's like no no you can't just give burgers like yes the fuck we can what the fuck yeah little scissors man it gets very expensive Curry Barker News, he says his Texas

Chainsaw Masker movie aims to capture the rawness of the original classic while expanding on the family. Well, he's got to do something big to stand out. Is there enough like meat

on that bone with the there's been so many Texas Chainsaw Masker movies. And I actually, I thought the one with Jessica Biel's good. I only watched the Netflix one once. And I don't know hating it.

That wasn't bad. Yeah, where like the town gets filled up like with people, right? And then like at one point he like goes on a party bus and it's like chaos. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Don't touch me. You'll get canceled to some shit and then you already knew everybody on that bus was dying. The one I didn't like was the one with Alexandria to Dario.

She was like, do your thing cuz or something. I was like, oh, God. Oh, was that like the young one? No, well, the Leatherface movie was just bad, where they had like the big mute kid, and then all of a sudden it was this little kid who was at Leather Fab. Oh, come on. Yeah, they faked you out with the obvious one that should have been Leatherface.

I think they fake themselves out, thinking they were clever and it was really dumb. Yeah. I mean, I liked obsession. You guys liked it, right? Yeah. I don't watch it. I definitely need to check that one out. I know.

Well, I wasn't going to mention it, but I guess we're talking about Curry Barker. They was supposed to release it on digital this week, but because of the record-breaking numbers it's doing, they're keeping it in the theater. Good move. Let's see. Blumhouse,

dead-by-day-light, adaptation gets a director and it is Thorter Paulson don't know who he is Have you played that game? No, I haven't. So it's a, it's a interesting, well it's a,

they have several games that are like that Texas Chancell Massacre is kind of like this where you get into a lobby, one person is the killer, the rest of everybody else is a survivor, and you got to try to get out of the level before the killer can kill you. Oh. So it's very rapid.

You know, you have, the matches don't usually last more than 10 or 15 minutes. And they have a lot of different things. Like they have Freddie Kruger, they have freaking ghost face. And they have a whole bunch of original killers that they've made for the game. They just release Jason Voorhees this week. And they just announced a Scooby-Doo collaboration. So you could actually kill Fred and definitely at a certain point. So wait, what do you just, you just try to run away and survive?

Yeah, there's like, there's ways to get out. And there's like generators that you have to fix and get working. And you have to hit these timed kind of wheels or it'll make noise and that's when the killer can find you. There's no really way for the killer to find you unless like you make noise. And then a little icon will pop up on the screen that said somebody made noise over there. Otherwise, he's just wandering around aimlessly until he finds somebody. Until he finds him. Yeah.

Okay. Interesting. it's really fun when you're like in a party on xbox with the killer because they're all talking and trying to like not let him know do you think this is going to work as a movie uh i wouldn't i'm not really but i didn't think until dawn was going to work and it was really good um even though that movie was nothing like the game so yeah in the game it's like a story just the Full story and you play it and it's over. This one has had the multiple kills and the reoccurring thing.

Very cool, but not what the game was. I think they just tried to throw a video game element into the movie. But we'll see. I just don't know. I mean, it would be really cool if they were able to use all of their original killers and monsters from the game in the movie. That would be cool. They have some cool stuff on there.

And it's free if you have game pass. Nice. all right that's the news all right let's head on down to the trailer park where we'll bring you the big the small and sometimes the very very weird Brian it's our first new trailer this week

our first and only trailer will be Netflix's The Last House a new sci-fi mystery thriller directed by Luis Laetire and starring Greta Lee, Wagner, Mora, and Sid Edwards. Steve, what did you think of the last house?

It's a very interesting concept. I don't know. I was thinking about my family in that situation. I don't know. Thousands of days of California. How do they get food? I showed them growing stuff at one point. They had a whole ass farm in your house.

I don't know how you managed that. but yeah like I could probably inside your house and be yeah you're going to survive up a green hunt you and your family

for a thousand days eating green onions yeah that was the point of the trailer where when you saw that time passed and the plants growing in the house

they didn't look like that much time had passed yeah yeah like dad would walk around I'm like where's your beard

oh yeah a thousand days you're stuck in the house man. Yeah, it's going on. Why do they still have power? Is somebody still providing? What's happening?

There has to be like a supernatural. And then everyone's stuck in their house, but everything still works. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe everything doesn't work. I don't really remember if they had lights through. They did.

Yeah, no, because I was looking at it. I was like a thousand days later and she set a lamp on. That's right. Yeah, yeah. What are we doing here? Well, I mean, on the other day, now if all my shit stayed on.

Yeah, I mean. Right. You sign me in. I'll just hang out. What about just in my yard? Can I just stay in my yard for a thousand days? My property is fenced in, you know, like, but there's like a gap between where I'm at now and like my house. There's like a little five foot.

Can I, can I cross that? Yeah. Between here and my house? Like, can I go? Or am I stuck in the den while everybody else is in the house? Because that, like, hey, I'm out here with all my stuff. not bad. Yeah.

Can I go downstairs and hang out with the animals and stuff? What if you're in an apartment complex? Are you stuck in your apartment or can you go throughout the building? Good point. That'd be a house party every night. Yeah, I remember one of my first apartments. I went up into the attic to like, I think I was running a cable for something. And I could see all the way down.

Like, oh, I could just go in somebody else's apartment through here. Wild. Yep. you're not a Christian you know what I'm talking about yeah that's kind of creepy to think about but yeah you've got an attic access in your apartment then it's connected to everybody else is up there that is very conservative the last house it's Netflix August 7th it looks interesting I like this kind of movie yeah

and I've seen the main guy and something before. He looks very familiar. I was thinking that too, but I was watching on my phone. I couldn't tell. I definitely seen him. You know what it was? Civil War.

He was one of the journalists. Okay. That makes sense. I need to close. So we have this movie. Pablo Escobar and Narco. Oh, I haven't seen. Oh.

That makes sense. That's a new one. That's a lot. That's a lot. That's a good one. That first season of Narcos is pretty amazing. See, here you go, Phil. They're trying to pre-program us to get stuck in our houses.

You have this movie coming up. You got that dinosaur one with A&Hapaway coming out. Stay in your fucking houses and weird shit outside. You know what? If you give me money and let me live on my own little place and leave me the fuck alone, I'm pretty happy with that. Good trade-off. I won't talk to anybody.

Yeah, I think I'll be fine. I don't go anywhere and only talk to you guys. Yeah. All right. On to some listener feedback. This week, we shine the podcast spotlight on Slashor and the Final Girls. A horror-focused podcast co-hosted by Courtney Campbell,

a senior crime scene investigator and former deputy death coroner, Austin Hartman, and Nikki Zales. Zaluski The trio dissects fan favorite horror movies, books and TV shows through the lens of real world forensics psychology and pop culture analysis

So like a real crime scene investigator and deputy death coroner That's cool Slasher and the Final Girls That'll give you some Some real world access

To that stuff She'd be like Nah that's bullshit you could stick your finger through that hole in our head. I don't know. Didn't go right. I thought it was. In regards to the meme of the week,

back in our day, we didn't have GPS. We ran out of gas on a deserted backroads and ended up in horror movies. Yes. Dave Duncan said, hell yeah. All right.

True story. True story. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. brother. You guys remember Stone Cold E, D? I thought you were doing Hulk Hogan. Yeah.

I saw a really funny Stone Cold video the other day where he was like trying to get undertaken a break. It was like repeating everything Vince McMahon said. It was really funny. I missed the attitude era. That was when I was watching. Me too, man. That was

Kurt Angle and all then we're standing there. Yeah. He's in. Kurt Angle is such a bitch then He was I know so many guys like him All right That's it for feedback this week

We've got to do a little something here Effective at the time You hear this episode We're rolling out a feedback contest Okay Email us at The Horror Returns at Gmail.com Or go to our Facebook group The Horror Returns

and leave us your best interactive feedback to read on the show. Help a brother out. For the input we deem best feedback, we will send a free horror returns t-shirt of your style, color, and size choice. Points will be based on originality or if you make us laugh on air. If you can break Lance, there's a good chance you are the winner. Let's do this.

Yeah, but you never know what that's going to be. Yeah, you could like say Tuesday. at the whole time. It's weird. He starts fucking losing it. You're like, what? I'm always amazed. Sometimes he'll say something and then start cracking them.

I'm always amazed. I think I always started off with like, I think we broke Lance. Yeah. That needs to be. You know what? That's going to be the new T-shirt design. No. That'll be fun with text.

Lance on a t-shirt. We gotta make a cartoon, Lance. All right. Intro and logos come from Steve. Thank you, sir. Oh, yeah. And be on the lookout for some stuff from Natsulani. What's...

She's got her original skull stuff. So I did want to show you, since we're on the topic of the t-shirts. I wanted to share my screen. You'll have to approve that there, Phil. I think I got it. Okay, multiple passengers can share. Okay, cool. Sorry, we probably should have tested this before, so it's not dead air.

But. So, behind the scenes, look at how the show runs. So, all right, I'm just going to share my screen so you guys can see all that. I'll just minimize this really quick. And here we go. So in honor of our current show, I remade the watchers. poster can you guys see this or no yeah oh yeah very cool nice so that's i actually read that is hand them so all that and you got jasper there as the monster so that's fun or you hand and

i didn't ever do one for children of the corn so i a jasper as isaacic everybody give it up for jasper he's working hard that's actually uh many hats he there's that was actually really cool i like that a lot. Yeah, I like how I had them popping out of the square. Yeah. So that one was a lot of fun. We didn't do it, but I had this idea in my head and couldn't let it go. So we have a Pennywise Jasper going on there. And then I didn't do one for the howling. So we have. Oh, I like that one. That should be like our official logo right there. That's badass. So it's really cool about this one is this, all that stuff around that rips, all that like gray that you see there is actually white with,

it's 50% transparent. So no matter what color shirt you get, it'll be the same color just lighter. Oh, cool. So yeah. So those are the four new designs, Howling It, Children of the Corn, and the Watchers. All right.

Well, I'm officially going to the website. after this and buying myself some new t-shirts. Those are badass. Thehorrorterms.com, guys. Go to it. And become a Patreon.

Sorry. Now, go ahead. If you participate in this contest, you can pick any of these designs. You're pretty awesome. But there's so many more. Apparently, you've got to make us laugh.

Or at least Lance. That shouldn't be too hard. Dad jokes, I think, would probably do it. Or you could become a Patreon patron and will let you pick the movies for a future show at any amount and for $5 a more a month. Also, pick a commentary for a future bonus show. And you get to come on the show with us, talk about it.

It'll be a blast. All right, on to some featured attractions. It's time to watch the watchers. better. Watchers. We'll start with not the Watchers because the Watchers

was the one that just came out right with the Yeah, that movie was garbage. Quick, hot take. What's better?

This or that one? This one. Yeah, for sure. I don't know how this wasn't bigger. What's better watches too or the Watchers?

Ooh, that's tough. That one's tough. I had a real hard Spoiler, I had a hard time I had a hard time. Okay, well, revisit this question when we get to watch us too.

I can't give it a fair shake, man. I didn't get to watch the whole watchers too, because my freaking power went out last night. Oh. Yeah. But I watched part of it. I wonder how far you go. We'll get there later.

All right. We'll start with the first one. Watchers from 1988. A boy befriends a stray dog. that is being hunted by dangerous creatures, or a dangerous creature, and a ruthless government agent. Director is John Hess,

also known for Alligator 2, the mutation. Okay. Writers are Bill Freed, allegedly. Paul Haggis actually wrote the screenplay, but by the time the movie was greenlit, the Writers Guild Strike hit, and Haggis refused to do any further writings on the movie.

Production was passed to Canadian producer Damian Lee who rewrote the script. Haggis read the script and took his name off taking credit instead as Bill Freed,

his WGA pseudonym, and insisted Damian Lee take credit for his work. Okay. That was an interesting little piece of trivia there. Steve,

you want to start us out on Watchers? Yeah. Um, so I obviously, I picked this franchise for us to go down, memory road on. I had never seen any of the sequels. So that's kind of one of the reasons why I picked it. So I gave me a reason to watch them. Um, because I have a lot of nostalgic love for this movie.

I saw this movie way back in the early 90s on video and I, I have a VHS copy of it. Um, it's streaming everywhere right now. Well, Amazon Prime and 2B. But, um, yeah. It's, it's definitely a product of its time. It's a young Cory Hame. It's a young Michael Ironside. It is silly.

Always bald. Always. It is silly. The dialogue's not great. There's some questionable boiler rooms underneath schools, but... I mean, that's not real. With the catwalks and all this weird machinery. Very strange.

But at the same time, like, I kind of like it for its low-budgetness. Like, all the really things. thick bright red blood um the fact that they didn't want to show their monster suit yeah on screen very very smart choice it was i think that's great i don't have a problem i think it's actually more effective yeah this this monster than uh we're getting a little later but um i don't know like i have the more i watch it the more fun i have with it like i know the movie by heart so i mean the movie opens up with a really expensive looking explosion. First

10 seconds, boom. Like, all right, we're in. So, I like this one. I know it has problems and I'll love to make fun of it, but I really like this movie. All right. Brian, what do you think? I love this movie. This was

like a staple for me as a kid because it was always on like TBS or TNT or one of those channels constantly playing. and you know Corey Hain and it was the 80s so you got to watch it

but Steve I want to believe these boiler rooms exist at least not in California they don't that's for maintenance maintenance men have access to all this

machinery and welding equipment there's so much stuff down there like even the machine when they walked in it's like cuck-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-l. I'm like, somebody needs to tighten something. Like, it's not supposed to sound like that. Well, they have to find it in the labyrinth down there. It seems like an underground city. That seemed specifically like that male cop in that scene.

Boy, he has wheels. He did exactly what the fuck I would have done. He got to get him. And I'm a sucker for the... A dog, a cool dog in a movie. We got in this one, we'll get to the second one. But in this movie, he is fur face. Fur face. What's interesting is also that this is based on a book.

Yes. The book, the dog is named Einstein. Which makes more sense. Yes. And what's also interesting is that it seems like every one of these movies, even though they're labeled two, three, and a new beginning or whatever, they're all essentially telling the same story. Yeah, well

We'll get to that when we get to the second one Because I have a question Okay But yeah, I had a lot of fun with this The suit's not great But I give it I give it to him for going practical And we already talk to him

When he got thrown Yeah Yeah, but when he's like Touching the fucking keys on the mount on the keyboard with the pencil, there's one very specific spot where you can see the hand on top of his head, pushing his head down.

Well, I mean, it was just sometimes when the dog was sitting there and looking at him, I'm like, and that looks like a fake dog. I don't know why you would use a fake dog for this scene, but it looks like one. And did you notice a young, Jason Priestley. Oh, as BMX crew.

Yeah, with the hell of a moment. fact kid named Piggy. That's how you know it was the 80s. Yeah. Move Piggy. God, damn. That was great. They were like, and he was like, yeah, sticking up your ass.

And they kept going. They were buddies. And my one problem, though, with this movie is they did nothing when they revealed Michael Ironside was the third project. Yeah, I thought he was going to, like, mutate or some shit. just a guy who has no problem killing people. Like, yeah, but there's plenty of those guys just sitting in jail right now. They didn't.

They don't care. So it was a little disappointing because you got fur face, super smart dog. You got the monster basically bred to be an assassin. And then you got Michael Ironside who just, doesn't care about killing people. He's just a bald guy. I mean, well, I guess it's spoilers for the 80s movie, but like he's not, he's impervious to knives. That didn't seem to really affect him that much.

That's actually a good point. Shotguns on the other hand. That's his cryptony. Yeah. Got stabbed directly in the throat. And he pulled that bitch out and kept talking shit. I know. I don't even know if that's possible.

See, that's what I was expecting. him to like mutate or something or grow I don't know something I'm dead I'm not pulling it out it wouldn't have lasted that long there's no monologue after that

what'd you think Phil yeah no I had a I had a really good time with this movie man I I may have seen it once or twice but I can't really remember it this was a lot of fun

I'm like how how do you have Corey Haim and a golden retriever fighting a monster. And a badass old truck? Come on. Yeah. How is this movie not on top of everyone's list?

It's so fun. We're going to keep talking about the vehicles in these movies because they make some interesting choices. And like here, not only did I like Corey Haynes truck, I actually like Michael Ironside's truck. It was just like a little boxy Toyota with a camper shell. And I was like, oh, that looks nice.

I go. but yeah man I had a I had a really good time with this one I don't mind that they I don't mind that they didn't show the the monster a whole lot I kind of think it was better that way it sort of leaves it up to the imagination a lot of movies used to do that and and they don't do it anymore and sometimes it ruins a perfectly good movie you know like they'll they'll they'll sort of show it in the shadows through the whole movie and then at the very end they'll come out with some CGI bullshit that looks awful.

And I appreciate that they didn't do that. So, yeah, a lot of fun with this one, man. It was an 80s classic. It definitely had some cheese. But fun is the key word here. I really liked the cops. They had like the lady cop and the kind of sheriff guy. Like they had like a separate comedy movie going at the same time as the rest of the stuff.

the lady cop that did not give a fuck about anything when the maintenance guy calls and he's screaming and hangs up and then she was like he'll call back in this important yeah you suck at this maybe you should find a different job I like that the male cop is he never just like sits here he's always like

what the fuck are you talking about he calls it out every time like it opens up with a very cool explosion and then a dog running away before we get introduced to Corey Hame who's sneaking over to his hot girlfriend's house to make you out in the hay. Oh, real quick.

The mom's hotter than the girlfriend. I'm going to have to agree with you there. Yeah. You know what wasn't in the book? The horny fucking Australian neighbor. That's who wasn't in the life. Oh, the guy that almost killed himself fixing the dryer.

Yeah, and it's not supposed to spark like that, bro. You've got to flip the breaker, homie. You know, I had this book. I remember seeing it. I don't think I ever read it. I think I had it forever as a kid and I never read it. It's an interesting thing. I listen to the audio book.

I don't read. I'm a millennial. But I remember it being like a main character is a cop who teams up with the dog and tries to get to the bottom of the situation. But there's a big chunk of the book that it keeps going back to, which is from the point of view of the monster. So a lot of the story is told from the monster's P.OV. Maybe I did read this. There's certain scenes in both of these movies that are from the book, you know, that they incorporated into the film. But they didn't include, like there was no kid on an adventure with his mom and his dog.

That girlfriend in the hospital, none of that. None of that. None of that. So they definitely made their own choices moving forward. forward but like it was just shocking when she's like like the the girl's dad gets his head ripped off for some shit and like the cops are being super insensitive about it the lady's like I haven't brought out the head yet like right in front of her she's like crying in the background super loud and they're like oh man it's so terrible her mom died last year and now her dad I'm like

god damn like is this a Disney movie what's going on well she didn't know they kept her high throughout the entire movie. Yeah, that was wild. Like, they go to visit her in the hospital. She's not there. Oh, why don't you give me your name, address, and phone number, and we'll get back and touch. Yeah.

Come on, Michael Hineside, you're in jeans and a fucking, like a polo shirt and a regular ass jacket. You don't look like nothing. And what is the NSA, the National Security Agency? Yeah. Or no, was it the NSO? It was the NSO in this one. Oh, yeah.

Social Security Organization. That's what it was in this one. Definitely spoke. Good stuff. Let's see. Yeah, I liked all the stuff when the dog first got introduced into the film and Corey Heyman and him were going back and forth. So was the dog an alien?

No, because everything is just like it is. It's like a scientific experiment. They've nestled them. But the dog was a scientific experiment too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It has made them smarter.

and he was genetically linked to the, what do they call it, the oxcom. Yeah, well, it is the outsider in the book as well. So here they've seen. So, but that thing was like an alien or something, right? No. They made it. Yeah, it's like a mix of a bunch of different things. This one, it looks like it's mostly bad.

Some crazy chimera thing. Okay. Yeah, Oxcom, outside experimental combat mammal. Oh, interesting. Yeah, so they were doing some island of Dr. Moro shit out there before it went boom boom. Some of that shit's real, dude. You never know? I like one of the examples they gave for why the monster wants to kill the dog.

Somebody was like, maybe they just show too much love petting the dog all the time. Yeah, he was like, yeah, they were like, the oxcom was super mad at like all the affection that the dog was getting. Well, I apparently, it's just. In the book, it like scoops people's eyeballs out. I guess they get a little more into it and watchers too, but he scoops the eyeballs out because he sees himself as ugly and he's jealous of the dog. Yes, that definitely is a thing.

Like I said, POV from the monster finally does get to a mirror. And, you know, like I said, there are scenes from both where it's in there. I'm waiting for one of these movies. There's a fucked up scene in the book in like a cul-de-sac, like where they're building houses. and there's like it's all like construction like there's a messed up scene in the book involving a situation like that so waiting for one of these movies to have that scene in it okay how many of them are there four four okay that's cool so yeah like and cori haem and all this like fur face though was getting it was wearing thin like i was getting oh come on man it's the fur face it doesn't even roll off the tongue The name, yeah, I know. He kept saying it and I was like, that's a bad name.

I don't like it. And it was, what I like most about this movie is that if you're introduced to any character in this movie that isn't Corey Hame, his mom, or his girlfriend, they're gonna die. Yeah. They're all gonna die. The fucking dickhead teacher, dead.

His friend's dead. The guy who lived in a bus, dead. Jason Bristley lived. Oh, no, he didn't. He got a kid. killed too. He remember he passed piggy up. He was like,

he had the forest, and then he got knocked off the thing. Then he heard him scream. And what a great shot. That was some really cool shots. Like when Piggy killed and then it like went back to the glasses with the blood dripping down. That's good stuff.

Like when he walks into the house and sees all the blood leading up to the dryer, come on. That's good stuff. And I like that they never showed it, but that was definitely his head in the dryer. because you just hear it yeah see but sometimes stuff like that's more effective

that's what I'm saying I think it worked I like the Russian lady that got it at the hotel all her vision how come it didn't make more money I don't know I think it only had like a limited theatrical run

oh well that makes sense because I don't remember this one being like very big as a kid and it's weird though too because it's mostly good kills even though you don't know really get to see a lot of it. Like, we're in front of the boiler room. But, like, I've been in elevator machine rooms.

You have to ground yourself. You can, you'll fucking melt if you touch the wrong thing. Like, so when she got launched off and into that fucking panel with all this shit exposed, I was like, oh, yeah, that's, that's what happened. Yeah. Yeah, I was giving a limited theatrical release in 88, and it didn't hit VHS or laser disc until 89. It's a laser disc?

Yes. I need to find that. I have a working laser disc. Really? Yes. I finally got a player and I have about 200 movies on laser disc. I remember my cousin had one when I was a kid and he was sown it to me and I was like, but why?

Have you seen how big the discs are for that? Yeah. They're huge and they're heavy. I just, that's what I'm saying. I never understood it. It's, I don't, and they don't even have like, you can skip like DVD. but there's no menu like it just plays like a tape.

Did you have to fix the laser disc player or did you find when working? No, I fixed it. So it was like it was doing a weird thing where like it wouldn't play unless I had like pressure put on the top of it. Like then it would spin right. And so it was stopped. It wasn't working right. And I took the cover off and I put a disc in and it's it played phone.

Yeah. And I screwed the cover back down. It started doing the weird thing. So I just took the screws out of the cover and it's been working. I don't know. Yeah, I heard it's very rare to find one already working. Working with a working remote, which is huge. Look at the size of this.

Well, I just, I remember I'm using them in school for like 10 minutes. And then laser disc completely went away. It's cool, too, because it's actually a DVD player's. You had laser discs at your school? I think so. You definitely had one of those boiler rooms. Yeah, for sure. Like, when I was growing up, a laser disc was like,

ultimate sign of wealth. If you had a laser display, you were dumb, rich. So it's like finally, it's cool to finally have one. But I didn't know watchers was on when you just, I'm going to have to grab that. Look for that. I feel like I remember watching some dumbass documentary at school on laser disc. Anyway. All right.

Scores. Steve, what do you think? I'm going to give this, uh, uh, nostalgia goes a long way with me. familiarity goes a long way with me. I'm giving it an 8.5 on this. Oh, nice. All right. Brian. Do it every time. I got to raise it 8.5. All right. Wait, I did 8.5, so you didn't raise it.

Oh, I thought you said 8.8.75. Price is right, son of a bitch. See, I was sitting on 8. I think it, I think it deserves that. And it's a lot of it is because of nostalgia. This movie is unapologetically 80s, and I love it. Man, the laser disc cover looks awesome. It looks like just the VHS cover, but you can see the disc behind them. That looks really cool.

I can get it for the low, low price at $88. That's crazy. Is that sealed or unsealed? I don't see. Fondry very rare. I don't know, because the first one it gave me was like $180. So let's just go. Oh, that's probably sealed.

This one is a, it says conditions very good for 80 bucks. But man, that's a steep price. But that would be really, really cool. Hmm. You'll find it. Find a new laser disc. All right. Before we move on to part two, I did want to talk just a little bit about like,

I also love scenes like, he goes to the cabin with the dog. And he's like, there's a whole home alone scene where he's setting the traps and the dogs helping them with the lights. There is. He's loading fucking pipes full of fucking, like shrapnel. It's like my dad taught me this. My God. Yeah.

That I love that shit. And then, yes, you have to fight the government guys who come. He's got to do battle with Michael Ironside. You know, Corey Hame versus Michael Ironside. But then mom comes in with a fucking long skirt and her boots, fly. And then you're like, oh, man, we're good, right? No, now the monster comes. and Cory Hansa got to go to the woods and fucking fight this monster.

Really cool. Like, it just keeps going and go. It's a fun, epic movie, man. Like, I still don't understand how this is not more popular. I like how he put all those torches in the woods and then, hey, like, he ended up having to fight the monster and there was a torch. Yeah. Like, man, you really thought of everything. I mean, this could have absolutely been the vampire movie that they were in.

Oh, the lost poise. This is, I think, I don't think it's as good as lost poise, but I think it's up there for me with, it's in that range. Oh, yeah. Definitely. Very cool creature featured. And it's, it's, the dog is a big,

well, that's just a big theme in all of Dean Coons's. Ding Coons loves golden retrievers. There are a lot of his books. All right. On to the Watchers 2. Nope, just Watchers 2, my bad. from 1990. A fugitive Marine

finds a genetically re-engineered dog psychically linked to a deadly monster created in a lab experiment gone awry. That sounds awfully familiar. The man, the dog, and a lab assistant come together to stop the escape monster's rampage.

Director is Fury Knots, also known for the Terror Within and the TV series Superboy. was a super boy it ran for like a season but right before Dean King's show I think

oh I remember Dean Keynes show I thought that was a good one writers are who knows so we'll go into trivia on that nobody is claiming the ownership of this shit written by Henry Dominic I'm gonna put your name out there buddy

you gotta own this Screenwriters John Brandkato and Michael Ferris were jointly credited under the pseudonyms Henry Dominic, as neither were members of the Writers Guild of America at the time. Tracy Scoggins told Fem Fattal's magazine that she and the dog were supposed to be uncommonly bonded. But in real life, the dog... That means? I don't know. That was weird. but in real life the dog

they had to put Alpo on her face for it to lick her cheek what? Is that the lattice isn't with the glasses? Yeah. She must be a bitch in real life that the dogs hate her like that. Yeah, listen, if a golden retriever hate you, I just, I don't trust you.

I got to, I trust the dogs instinct. Steve, what do you think about this one? Oh, this movie sucks. This was really, really. bad. For one, even though we barely saw the creature suit in movie one, you get to see all of this one many, many times, and it is bad. I don't know how this thing could hurt anybody. It looks slow and unscary. That mouth ain't biting shit. So I don't know what, you know, exact falls, I guess. Did you feel they tried to put more money into the suit and it just came out looking worse? Yes, I do. Because the other one was like a fur suit and you could see like the rubber. on his chest like it didn't but like there was something almost sweet about their attempt and that one in here they just well and they made sure to like obscure it like it went by

this green real fast yeah well and covering it in here was great because you give a really cool silhouette and you can do all sorts of fun things with that and here it's just this really bumpy lumpy lizard thing and it's it's like it just it just seems like a like a like a like you feel bad for it. for it. I don't really feel scared. It's like, it's always like whimpering and like, you know,

it's following that one doctor guy. It's a sad monster that's jealous of the dog. The biggest problem of this movie is not the monster suit. It is Mark Singer. He is terrible. He's fine in that. For nostalgia of what reasons,

he's fine on that, but he is terrible in this movie. He has some crazy eyes going on Bro, he is, he is jacked. He is on one. He is spending that on that fucking nose candy, bro. He is, there's, he does the wildest shit in the finale when he's fighting this fucking monster. Like, I don't know what he's doing. Like, he's just waving his arms all around the place.

It's like, it is wild. It's a wild sight. And they have a home alone scene, too. We'll get there. But it's not nearly as cool. at one they spent a long time on him cutting the fingers off a glove oh god and he's putting it on his hand oh fuck

veins all popping out of his neck man it is this movie is not good it is not good and it's the first time I've seen it so terrible terrible film Brian what did you think I guess I'm not missing much this is also the first time I've seen this and yeah, there was some cocaine on the set.

Because that's the first thing I noticed was those crazy eyes. And my question I was going to ask, is this in the same universe, or is this a remake of the first movie? Remake of the first movie. Okay. So I think this one is actually a little closer to what the book is. In the sense that it's an adult man with the dog for a little bit. And some of the monster stuff

With them looking in the mirror and all that Yes So they just try to explore more aspects of the book That they changed in the first one for the movie I'd have to read it again But I also believe there is a scientist That's like this guy, this old guy That's like looking for the thing too

So I think that that is a character That was missing from the first movie But I almost like it better in the version I like changing the scientist The Michael Iron side, a fucking crazy psycho killer We forgot to talk about how he killed the cop in there, shoved his head through a window, and slammed his neck on the broken glass. That shit was

wild. Make sure to cover his tracks by plucking out the eyes. You got crazy. Good stuff. Dude, this movie could have gained a point if he'd have turned into a monster at the end. Yeah. But not only does this movie suck, the people suck in this movie.

Nobody likes dogs in here. You got the soldiers transporting Beastmaster and they see the dog and the guy driving immediately says oh two points if I hit the dog yeah

Psycho kill him right now you can't do that I've seen people say that about cats and I laugh it off but dogs come on then you got the ex-wife

who he asks can you get the dog some water and she looks at the dog and says toilet seats up drink out the toilet the ex-wife is a whole that's all thing. Man, my dog

gets in trouble if she drinks out of the toilet. It pisses me off. I can't stop the chocolate lab from it, though. He's an idiot. He doesn't listen to anything. He's doing whatever the hell he wants to. He's a sweetheart. He's just a dumbass. But besides

the people suck and the effects were horrible, the suit was horrible. They did add a little stuff in that I wish was in the movie because it kind of expounded more on the

why the monster hates the dog and the thing with the pluck in the eyes because it doesn't like the the way it looks and people looking at them but besides that this movie was garbage

and also like the music you know we didn't talk about the music in the first one that makes some very strange choices with like the, you know, fake saxophone cassio that it's going with. But here it's like somehow two years later and way worse music. Like I don't know if they had a bigger budget or... It's got to be lower.

I mean, Corey Hame. Just there's some... I don't know how far you get, Phil. How far did you get? Like, not at all. I didn't even get to watch a piece of it. Oh, man. Yeah, they do some.

And the other part that they messed up on is I grew up in Palm Springs. Like, I'm new to the northern California area. I've only been up here for about 15 years, but I spent a lot of my life down in Palm Springs area. And this was not fucking filmed on Palm Springs or the surrounding areas or any of that shit. So, crazy choice. But, yeah. Brian, what do you think? you want me to go again

yeah we gotta get in this out there my bad go ahead uh go ahead yeah no I the power went out last night

and so the internet still doing a choppy thing so sorry if I'm cutting it out but yeah and I was trying to get the generator started this morning but I left fuel in it for a year and that was a bad idea

oops yeah so oh you didn't miss work Yeah, sounds like I didn't miss a whole lot. But the first one was pretty awesome. I love watching Corrie. But yeah, this one definitely had a lower budget than the original because, you know, I mean, aside from the Beastmaster guy, who's in this?

Nobody. Yeah. But like he, so he gets the dog. He goes, immediately goes to his ex-wife's house, even though he's on the run, which is like the first place. Of course. They would look. Yeah.

And he's there. And like, his ex-wife has, like, another dude in the house. And he's like, are you coming back to bed? She lets him sleep on the couch, the ex-husband. What's happening? And the next morning, they don't explain where that dude went. They're just hanging out, him and the ex-wife. Yeah, he's in his tidy-wydies and knee-high socks going through the guy's wardrobe.

Oh, hey, man. And then they, like, do this thing. He's a knee-high socks. Wow, all right. So he gets, they leave the house. and she's just the ex-wife and the dog and the cops are following her and Mark Singer's in the backseat under a blanket

because that works and they get to the gym and she gets out and goes in and like these cops get distracted by a bunch of chicks that get out of a car and walk to the gym so while they're looking at these girls Mark Singer gets away

and another bit of comedy gold where the dog is driving the car oh well that's fun got to have that scene in there And I just realized the dog did not even like, what is her name? Scoggins. Tracy Skaggins. Tracy Skagins.

The dog didn't even like her character. Yeah. Because she was surprised to find out that it was a genius. Then she straight up asked the dog, have you been lying to me this whole time? And the dog barks once for yes. It's always got a, the dog's got a sense of humor. because you're a whore.

It was a cool scene, though, where he was like, the dog was trying to get the dude to look at the right name in the phone book, and he kept bringing things to him that were white. And he eventually had this pile of things, a toilet paper, a towel, a lampshade, all this shit. Yeah, but it just showed you how Don Mark Singer's character was round, round things. Bro, a lot of round things.

And then he's like, white, and then the dog barns once for yes. And he was like, okay. And then he starts reading the names. They get to the right name. and the dog's barking once for yes and then he's like I don't know bro would you

fucking call somebody like this is wild this you have to call the number and they try to insert so much cocaine out of his pocket for white they try to insert so much

comedy in here because right after that the pizza man comes and he looks at the dogs are you going to pay for the pizza nah and the dog barks twice but then it goes back

it goes back to the ex-wife I'm like why are we back of the ex-wife oh because she wants to show her boobs I don't know if that was a smart choice or not but we get to see him and then she's she's killed off she does nothing wrong but stand up for Mark Singer she like goes out of her way to like become a fugitive with him and do nothing but help and then she gets killed

yeah they make you they make you think there's going to be some reconciliation between the two. No, she's in a movie for 10 minutes. And then you cut to Mark Singer who's sitting on the couch getting cozy with his lavicism that he brought the dog back to and they turn on the news and he finds out his ex-wife is dead along with

a whole bunch of other people and he's the suspect. And she's just quietly trying to slide off the couch and walk backwards. But even after that, like for the rest of the movie, like for a good chunk he's like in shock like oh my god and she's like bullshitting they find a table she's like oh look at how cute einstein was he was so little and cute i'm like his wife just died what are you talking about this is still new information

they they move away from that they move on to that really quickly and then he's like you know what we need we need fucking shotguns and a combat knife and he starts listing all this shit and she's like well how am I going to get that? He's like, you have a credit card, right? Cut to him loading up all that shit. That's when you get the montage, the cutting the fingers off the gloves. He's like cocking the shotguns a bunch, you know. It's all right.

He puts the knife in its sheath. Love a good montage. It's a terrible montage. I'm telling you, like, the glove thing was wild. Like he puts the glove on the thing and it cuts back to him, cuts back to the club, cuts back to him, he raises a big knife, cuts back to the glove and he slams it down and then he pulls it up with no fingers

and he's like stretching it on odd it is amazing how he got the thumb too I know with one swing you know I always thought fingerless gloves were going to be way cooler than they actually are then he goes down to the sewers to fight this thing and he immediately gets

like disarmed like he can't shoot he can't do anything he's just hobbling around these tunnels and then he like he falls unconscious. Luckily, right after he opened this thing so the light knocked the creature back, but then he just falls unconscious for hours,

wakes up in the night and stumbles away. Yeah, he stumbles onto some, what I'm assuming are gang members listening to gospel music. In what is the Los Angeles River. It is in the wash of the Los Angeles River. This is not in Palm Springs. It's two hours north. And I mean like gospel music, Phil.

Like I thought he was going to walk out to like a church or something. Gang members just sitting by their car listening to music. I thought he might be dead. I thought he might be like a weird, like out of body experience. Like he died in those tunnels and he's walking out into the light. And they're playing, you know, gospel music. No, he stumbles on us and gangsters and they get scared of him and drive away. Say, brother.

And then like at this point At this point The monster has gotten back to the dog and the girls Somehow And has gotten them trapped on the roof of their apartment building And then Mark Singer comes flying back into the movie To like tackle the monster And they're rolling around for a while

Because he still can't shoot his gun And then like the monster like hits him or something And he throws himself back against like this railing and like does this dramatic lean over to rail and almost fall thing like completely by himself the monster did not do that like you are being really dramatic you need to calm down you're going to hurt yourself with all these theatrics you know this is he is he's the kind of person that like you know he gets touched and he's going to flop he's going to throw himself on the fucking ground mark singer is a flopper his eyes are bugged out of his head and he's going to

it would have been super easy for the monster to scoop them sons and bitches out because they was just wide open the whole time. But he left him while he was unconscious for hours. Yeah. And he kills it by jumping up and like, God! Stabbing it once. And then it's dead.

But the ending was a lot closer to the book too, where the dog brings the monster, the stuffed animal right before it dies. Oh, okay. So fleshed out the story a little more, a little more three dimension than the character is just get away from it Einstein

and Einstein's like oh yeah that's right and then he shoots it again do you think they didn't oh no he doesn't shoot it do you think they didn't call him Einstein in the first one because of back to the future I don't know when it back to the future

got to be right around there right 86 and because this was the first one was 88 oh 85 35 is a bad name for a dog I don't like it It feels like they asked Corey Ham to name it really quickly and he did.

Yeah. Yeah. No furface. Yeah, this. Fuck. And then it just ends. They just walk off the, like, it's still like been just yesterday. His wife was killed.

The cops are still looking for you. He's still, we didn't even talk about it. He's still a military prisoner. Yes. He still escaped military, the military police. He still wanted for the murder of the people that. that were in the hotel room that he was in and his ex-wife. He's on the land the whole movie.

Yeah, just because they leave him alone. So what, yeah, what are you going to do? Like, go up to the roof, the monster's there. And then the cop, the fucking scientist who like comes and like tranquilizes the monster and then gets it back into the car. All for nothing. Like he gets him back to the lab and then the creature breaks out, kills him. him and is back to doing what he was doing

before you came back to the movie. I'm the only one that cares about you. Just kills him dead. What you get? Maybe you should watch this film. I know. Well, I want to before part three. I know, man.

You got to see the downward slide. It's a monumental gentleman. For sure, I'm going to check it out before part three. I was trying to get home in time to watch it today, but I was fucking with that generator all morning. trying to get the goddamn thing started so I got to work late one of those things man

what are you going to do? Yeah, no worry I mean Lance didn't watch either of them so yeah he's gonna be really confused when he jumps into part three Part three stars Wingshouser Who's that?

Yeah, the cover for part three oh boy I don't know what that thing is on the cover but it does not look What is that? it has one of the worst covers of all time you got to look it up though watchers 3

it is like an experiment I remember reading a book about some like fucking Nazi shark monster experiment at some point this and I don't think it was this yeah but I remember that one having some monster

point of views at some point too and I remember seeing the cover for this one I just don't think I ever read it yeah I think part three is like in the South American jungles there's like military people kinds of shit all right

let's get weird man what are we gonna do I think that I would be not too crazy to say that the monster and the next one is not going to be as good as the monster

in part two oh ouch but they did change the story I'm saying the top secret experiment spawns two highly intelligent life forms is one of one dog yeah

gold retriever named Einstein there you go they just trying to get it right and if you look at part four of the awakening it's like a cop is all the you know

is working with this dog name Einstein who escaped from the lap well we know we got something good with it right the Einstein part is gold but you just got to put

a movie together around it and I did definitely did Google the other two's and look at some stuff and the images for the mom's screen the fourth one

look all right okay I'll see what the monster in three looks like not good if it's anything like the cover it's not good scores what do you think about this one Steve I'm never going to watch this again I'm going to give it a one

ouch I'm definitely watching this one it's there's nothing good about there's no redeeming quality that it's not one Brian? I'm gonna go too just because of Mark Singer's

cocaine-induced performance. I guess you're going to highlight something. The rage. You want to see? How can you not understand the name, wait? He always looks surprised. His facial expression.

Cocaine will do that. The most relaxed you'll see him is on the cover. Other than that, bug eyes the whole time. All right. I guess that's it for watchers too. Not good.

Sorry, guys. It always happens this way. It's right. They can all be winners. It's hard to come up with franchises. You haven't done already. Yeah. Well, we'll see what three and four gives.

But, you know, again, except for like Spider-Man and even that one's got some stinkers. All right. As always, we want to thank you for listening. to another episode of The Horror Returns. We love to hear your feedback and ideas. You can always reach us at Thehorror Returns at gmail.com. You can find us at www. www.thehorrorterns.com and get yourself a badass t-shirt

as well as follow our social media links and stuff from there. Next week, in honor of our super patrons, Nareldin, it is time for a commentary of Maniac cop and Pedro will be in the house. So until the horror returns again, Brian?