The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #533: Cooties (2014) & The Ice Cream Man (2026)

Episode Date: August 17, 2026

This week, it's killer kids. Cool of the week includes House of the Dragon, music theory, Ted Lasso, and The Princess and the Frog. Trailer is Violent Night 2. The podcast spotlight shines on PVD Horror. Nez brings us up to speed on the Holba 'Pisachi' Film Festival. And there's no spoiler alert because we all agreed this movie doesn't deserve one. Thanks for listening!      

Regings victims, for those of you who delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify gore, welcome. You have found the place where the horror returns. Listeners beware. This podcast contains major plot spoilers. and the foulest of language. Join us in celebrating the old and the new, the best, and the worst in horror. Welcome back, everyone, to The Horror Returns.

I'm Lance, and tonight's host we have Brian. We got Pedro. And of course, we got Philip, who's been running things for what, what's it been, Philip, the last six weeks or something? since I've been gone. Wow. It's been a couple weeks, I guess.

Been a while. Family obligations, but. Everybody welcome our guest, Lance. How are you, Lance? There you go, man. Nice to meet you. I get to do my Cull of the Week first. And you better have a lot of shit because you have about six weeks worth of Cool of the Week.

Oh, I do. I do. I just got to get it organized here. While I get that organized, who wants to go? I'll go first because I have I only have one thing but it was pretty awesome so the House of the Dragon just finished um when was it last Sunday you know just are you guys are any of you guys watching it keeping up with it no I haven't started my way to first season I'm um I'm I'm like halfway through this last season but I haven't finished oh so you're okay

so you're closer so no I mean it was all avoid spoilers but it was an amazing season I mean It was just one of those well-crafted seasons where it seems like, you know, there was only eight episodes, unfortunately, but it seems like it was one of those seasons where, like, half of those were like season finale worthly, like episodes. Like, just a lot of shit happened in a lot of episodes. Really good stuff. Just kind of getting you ready for that final season. Right. And just a lot of character development, a lot of stuff that I appreciate that Game of Thrones did not do, which is. you know, once we were able to talk about spoilers, I'll be more specific on that.

Okay. But, uh, but yeah, no, I just had a good time catching up with that, finished it last Sunday. Uh, it's kind of sucks that, you know, now we have to wait two fucking years for this thing to come back. Like, when did that become a thing? Like, I'm tired. I'm, I'm so tired of, like, these, like, when I was a kid, you had, like, night writer consistently come out once a year. And that was 24 episodes, you know? I had full house.

I had family matter. Like all these, and I understand that, you know, these newer shows are more involved. They're more expensive. They got special effects. I get all that.

But like, they only shoot in eight episodes. You know, the way network television used to work was 24 fucking episodes, guaranteed year in and year out. Right. Now it just seems like, you know,

you have these bougie showrunners. Oh, we want to make it perfect. Oh, we want to fine tune this. Oh, and it's just. And it's like you're waiting three fucking years, four years for these fucking episodes to drop, you know?

Crazy. Stranger things, dude, right? Yeah, those kids had those kids had kids by the time the last season came out. Shit. Didn't they just celebrate like the 25th anniversary of Stranger Things or something last week? Yeah, I mean, and that's the thing, you know? And so it just, this new, this new habit or this new thing of like just giving these showrunners permission to just take their sweet time. It just kills momentum.

It really does. Like, I went on social media and I saw the feedback for House of the Dragon and everybody was so excited. You know, West throws got us back right after they burned us with that horrific, what was it, eight, seven season of Game of Thrones. Like, they actually got us back, you know? And so that's a good thing to be celebrated. And here we are all of a sudden, the real estate that is always two years wait time. You know, come on. Like, it's ridiculous.

for eight for eight measly episodes you know and and so but but you know what to be fair i do i'm starting to see a trend of like they're going back to like the the yearly thing now a lot of these shows so maybe like for example i know daredevil is coming back next year and they've had the consistent year after year after year um and then like the tv show from it's also very consistent so there there is some some like you know once a year kind of dropping the new season but but still we went into that habit. And it got me thinking, what was the first television show

that did this shit? What was the fucking show that started this horrific trend? And I came up with it. I think it was the Sopranos. Was it? Back in 2006, 2007. Because the Sopranos were the first one that I could remember where like,

it started with like a year and a half layoff. Then it became a two year lay. Like every season would get longer and longer. Right. And so that was the first one that I could remember that really started that trend. And then now everybody does it. But yeah, so I don't know. I know that we have that new Harry Potter television show coming up.

I think HBO Max is doing it. And they better they better fucking hurry, man, because they're going to end up with that stranger thing's thing going on with these kids. So they're going to have to just really be on the ball with these seasons. But yeah, I know I had a great time with House of the Dragon again, just so many, like, it was just so well structured, you know, and now I'm looking forward to next season, so many battles, so many things, you know, because I did spoil it for myself from the book, but they're not really being consistent with following the book, which is, I always think it's a good thing, you know. Yeah, seems like they're taking their time, right, Pedro? Yeah, but even so, like, they're also changing a lot of stuff from the book. So, you know, you're kind of, you're surprised but not really surprised.

So, and there's a lot of battles still to be fought. So I don't know how they're going to squeeze all of that into eight episodes. Maybe they'll take some stuff out. But it's going to be very exciting. And it's the last season coming up here in two years. So I'm looking forward to, so that's my cool of the week. Just, you know, House of the Dragon season finale. It definitely fucking delivered.

Nice. Nice. I'll jump in because I don't know that I have really a cool of the week Well, okay, so Well, the Astro started well, you're not wearing an Astros hat, though I thought It is an Astros set. It's an old school Astros hat. Yeah, well, they're all of a sudden they're good again, so that should be your cool of the week.

Well, that and okay, so I've been like pittling around with guitars for like 20 years and playing bass for the past few. but like I never really learned any musical stuff. I just sort of looked up tabs and played them. And I'm finally starting to learn some music theory and stuff. And I've learned more in the past month than I have in the past 20 years. Oh, wow. Yeah, I'm having a lot of fun with it now that I can actually play the damn thing.

No, that's pretty cool. That's pretty cool. Because I also dab with music. It's always amazing to me how like you're playing something and you're like, oh, shit, that's coming out of my talent right here. Like that noise, you know, I'm actually putting stuff together. So, but let me ask you this, do you feel because you did dabble in it for years that that has helped you now with the music composition? Like, in other words, had you started before, like doing what you're doing now, do you think that you would have gotten discouraged or what do you think? I think I wish I would have learned it sooner, but yeah, all the years of just pittling around with it has definitely helped me.

And so like, if I need to get my fingers from one place to another, I already know how to do that. Okay. It's just knowing where to put it and how to mesh it together that makes sense. Correct. All right. And I've come a long way with that, and I'm pretty excited about it. So I learned probably 10 new songs last week. Damn. That's cool. That's a lot. Have you learned any tool?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're going for the gist. Yeah. How about how about some rush? I like playing with the pick because I came from, not a whole lot of rush yet. I came from the guitar world. So I've always played with a pick. So I'm way better with a pick than I am with my fingers. Nice. But I'm getting there too. So I'm trying to get some maiden down. That's tough. So you're way out of advance. I thought you were in. the plain La Bamba and under the bridge by the red hot chili pepper space. Because everybody starts with those two songs. Those are the very elementary level songs right there. But you're already way past that. Well, I was doing it the hard way for so long where I was just like memorizing notes and like where to put my fingers.

And I just didn't understand why. And now I understand why. And I'm like, oh, that makes way more sense. It's like a light bulb went off and it dawned on me. You know? Yeah. When I was growing up, it was the Cura song, just like heaven, that everybody was learning. Oh, yeah.

What you got, Brian? But yeah, that's all I got, man. How many do you have? One, two, three, four, five, six. Oh, I got six, too. Okay. I guess I'll go. Okay.

I watched Soulmate, the Mithrigan. off sex bot movie. Oh yeah. Uh-huh. Not bad. Not bad. Already been done before with the Megan Fox movie. They let you know right away this robot fucks because when she gets delivered, she's topless.

But she's cute as all hell, though. I will say that. She's a girl from mebel dead at Rice. Yeah. Okay. The final girl. Well, well, you're going to get a fee. a full-size female robot,

that's what it's designed for. You would think so. Yeah. But nothing new here. Basically, he's like a programmer and they want him to test it out. And of course, he changes its programming

to be more human. And you can already see where the movie's going to go from there. Yeah, that sounds very familiar from other movies too, right? It did have a cool, death scene. I'm not going to spoil it. I'll just say she makes something get tighter. I saw it too. I watched it already. And you're right, Brian. It was very generic. But it wasn't,

I was never bored, like, or upset or pissed. Like, it was just by the numbers. It was a nice way to kill 90 minutes. I could see why they took it off theaters because that was like a last minute decision. Because they just, they probably realize this isn't, there's nothing really here, you know? And then with the summer season, you know, with Spider-Man doing what it's doing, they're like, now we're not going to just, we'll just put it on video on demand. Yeah. Did you catch any, it's supposed to be a three-in universe, but I didn't catch anything. Really?

No, I didn't either. Maybe they added that out. Yeah. And I was looking for it, too. Let's see. Next up, I checked out corporate retreat. Oh, I've been wanting to see this one. you can skip it

I hated this fucking movie I hated it really I didn't I was gonna say it's so first of all I wasted one of my Amazon credit on this motherfucker

because because I couldn't find a way to rent it any other way and I really wanted to watch it when it was in theaters but it had like a week run and so I never caught it and I

you know what part of it is my fault I was expecting something completely different I was expecting something like the Balco experiment kind of vibe. Yes. That's what I'm, that's not what it is.

And Brian will agree that's not what it is at all. This is very much a comedy. And it gets, it gets way too silly at the end. Way too silly. Oh, great. And they gave you no opportunity to get to know any of the people to even really give a shit about them surviving.

Yeah. Yeah. And then there's, the dialogue is horrible. It's just a very silly movie, but you know, and, yeah,

I was very disappointed by it. Uh, next up on Amazon Prime. I checked out the shark movie, The Devil's Mouth with Catherine Newton. Ah. Interesting premise. The shark, they go into these little caves and caverns to do sightseeing. And a shark somehow gets washed in by the high tide and get stuck in there and they get stuck in with it. But then nothing new.

Same old shark shit. CGI bullshit with the shark. Shark stuck in an underwater case? Yeah. Okay. Well. That's the thing I'm not interested in at all. I remember the way she defeats the shark in this one.

I remember having that feeling with the shallows. You guys remember how she defeated the shark in that. It just gave me, get the fuck out of here. She used a, uh, some kind of a gun, right? Like the gun you use, like if your boat's sinking and you want somebody to see it?

A flare gun, right? Yeah. I don't think I don't kill anything, Lance. Okay. I thought she killed it with a flare gun. Maybe I'm wrong. In the shallows. We'll have to rewage.

Maybe that was shallows part two. Yeah, shoot him in the eye. Then I went over to Netflix and checked out the last house. Oh, I did watch that one. That is... Yeah? I'm not cool of the week.

Okay. Because I haven't seen it, but it was in the queue. So what do you guys think about it? It's an interesting premise of this phenomenon that happens that people get stuck in their house and these creatures come when it rains, but they don't explain anything. Another one of those. Not one thing. Bird box.

Well, and the majority of the movie was just... people dealing with COVID, I think. But what kind of mechanism? I don't give a shit. I was going to ask for spoilers, but don't spoil it. I was going to say, what kind of mechanism keeps them inside the house? Why can't they leave the house? You don't explain that either.

An invisible force field. That's bad. Well, I don't know that that's spoilers. It's like there seems to be some sort of alien presence at the beginning. and then there's an invisible force field around their house. That'll stick. But then they kind of allude to something that's been on earth way before. I don't know.

They didn't allude to anything. Which is one of the UFO theories, the ultra terrestrials. Of course. I mean, I don't, you can leave stuff to mystery, but I mean, give me something. Yeah. Give me one thing. figure out something. Right.

It was mostly family drama. Yeah. Family of four is stuck in a house. What felt like five, six years? Yeah. So they don't... Wait a minute. So they don't give you guys jack shit in the story,

but they tell you guys the years they were stuck in the house, they kind of mentioned something from the daughter, from one of her books, like a theory she comes up with. I'm just kind of like, uh, I don't think it's bad. Maybe they were all dead and they weren't in purgatory.

That's always my default setting for these fucking movies. They were all dead and they were in purgatory. Right. Yeah. The whole neighborhood died. It's a nuclear weapon. But that's less important than the whole family drama, which is really what the movie is about and it's not that interesting.

Yeah. That's all you need to know. I checked out, uh, big baby. I saw that one What'd you think? I liked it I thought it was very original It's very low budget

It's done by Rob Zombie's brother I think directed By the one Yeah I mean he's done quite a few films Which a lot of them aren't bad But I did like the idea Of kind of writing your own monster

Because again Talk about stuff that was left unsaid Right There was a lot of like Abstract ideas in it Like was it really him was it not him and I'm trying to be vague with spoilers but um I don't

know I kept me engaged you know it was a good movie probably never watch it again but I like that for what it was The power man 5,000 guy? Yeah Is it? He's done a few movies that have been pretty pretty okay

He does the same thing that Rob Zombie does he makes movies and he puts his wife on all his movies That's his gimmick too Yeah that was okay and then I also checked out teenage sex and death at Camp Measma. Oh, that's the one we want to hear.

I actually kind of wanted to watch that one. Did you rent that one or was that one a theatrical? Theatrical. Okay, because I was looking to rent it, but okay. Lance, this is, I know you're not into the slashes, but I think this is up your alley. This is that elevated shit. it's an interesting premise because you know this this lady wants to remake the old school

slasher film which is the title of the movie okay and she goes to the original cabin where the movie was shot and she meets jillian anderson who was in the first movie oh okay yeah i remember that kind of from the trailer, I think. And shit gets a little weird from there, and it was not bad, it's not bad, but I'm not really into the elevated horror as far as, like, slasher movies

go. Okay. Well, I'll have to put it on the list, man. It's kind of hoping we were going to cover it. I didn't realize it was already out. That's how out of touch I've been. Yeah, you probably should have covered it. It came out the same day as our feature

movie tonight, so... But it was very limited though so we might yeah it would have been difficult probably not showing here you would Lance would have had to have walked for 45 minutes in the parking lot each way but my cool the week I'm gonna have to go with Ted Lasso

season four nice all right I didn't think I didn't think I was going to be into the new season it's only two episodes in okay because I thought the third season ended perfectly but meeting the new cast of characters for season four. I'm enjoying it so far. Yeah, my,

my daughter and son-in-law are huge fans of that show. I even bought him a card game. There's a Ted Lasso card game that you can buy. It's got a big fan base. Maybe one day, AJ and I tried it. We just kind of lost interest. But it's that European football stuff, right? It's not really about the football.

Well, I mean, it's a worldwide stuff, that's not just your world. Yeah, of course. Yeah, I mean, we did just have the World Cup here, Lance. Oh, that's right. That did happen. Yeah, they even had a game in Melbourne, Florida, and you missed it. Oh, man, missed that one.

That's all I have for the week. All right, Ted Lassow. Okay, cool. Yeah, I was a little shocked, too, to hear you call that one. Brian, but, uh, so you're not, you're not, the season's not quite all out yet, huh? I think it started last week. I had some catching up to do with the third season and when the third season ended, I was just like, this kind of perfect ending. And I heard Jason Sadecas didn't want to do a four season. They must have rolled the money truck up to his

apartment or to his house. I'm sure. He felt like the character ended where it should have ended. Okay. Yeah. But so far through a couple seasons, it's pretty good so far. We may give it another try, man. We'll see. What else does he got going on?

Ah, not much since Saturday Night Live, right? Oh, Hall Pass. He did Hall Pass. That was probably, what, 10 years ago, wasn't it, Pedro? Some more wrong there. All past. Didn't he smack Grogo and the Mandalorian? Yeah.

Wasn't he a stormtrooper? He pops up every once in a while. I think so. They let him play a Storm Trooper. His run of starring characters and movies is probably over. But I think a lot of people have played Storm Troopers in those films. Probably so. Who's to know, right?

I think he specifically was the one. Daniel Craig. Remember Daniel Craig was also one of them? That's right. Yeah. I think Tom Hardy was one. Yeah. Wow.

The only requirement for the job is you can't shoot a gun, right? You can't aim. All right, I caught up a little bit. I finally watched the one that I was kind of sad I missed when you guys covered it. Scary movie, because I was really looking forward. You guys were a little harsh on it, I think. I enjoyed it. Well, Brian changed his mind later on in another episode.

Yeah. I mean, look, I do like the. Brian said the elevated horror, but I like that lowbrow stuff too, you know, got some of the low-hanging fruit, the easy jokes and stuff like that was, yeah, did they bring too much, like from the series where they would have the same characters repeating themselves, yes, like you guys talked about for sure. But I kind of liked all the new, you know, everything they were parodying. I enjoyed it.

But my issue with that is that so many of the jokes were things that were that have already been done before. making fun of like the right wing, the left wing. Like we've seen all that stuff. That could have been left out entirely. Yeah. But we've seen that stuff and it's been funnier, you know. True.

And then and then at the end like it was all self-referential, masturbatory like this whole idea. And then the chaps. They got burned by the wassie. And how fuck. Yeah. Essentially they were, that was their definition of walking away with their head held high.

You know, just walk around with the assless chaps. But it was very, it was so inside. that you had another drama, their own personal drama, as far as the wanes and losing the rights to the movie. So at the end of the end of the day, it just became their own way of, like,

getting back at what they had lost, right? And so they killed all the youngsters. That was the whole thing, that they're better than the youngsters and all that. I don't know, to me, none of the jokes really landed and it was just awkward. I didn't, I only seen it once, though. I only saw that one time in the theater.

I haven't seen it again. I think after hearing you, it was the opposite way. happens a lot, right? Where a movie's talked up too much and then you're disappointed. To me, it was the opposite. You guys talked it down so much that I kind of actually enjoyed it. So,

you know, just some good stupid humor. Every once in a while, it kind of cleanses the palate. Speaking of, I don't know how much those movies even work anymore, though. Yeah, we had a whole conversation about that of these parody movies during that episode. But,

I don't know, I guess you're right. Some, some mindless entertainment doesn't hurt but but i got hot shots and hot shots part due for that on my my collection so there you go all right the the aforementioned mandolarian guys i saw mandolarian and grogou and again just kind of mindless fun i i enjoyed it was it cghi heavy i mean what star wars movie in the last 25 years hasn't been right i mean is it just me no this movie fucking sucked it didn't let me tell that there's a scene in this movie i watched it with my eight-year-old grand daughter, come on, man. There's a scene in this movie where the

Mandalorian, who was like 95% not Pedro Pascal, by the way, where he was knocked out, right? He was knocked out. And so there's about a good 15 minutes stretch of no dialogue when Grok was trying to wake this motherfucker up. And it just, we're just there watching. It's like, what the

fuck is happening? Like he digs a hole. He throws them in a hole. And the whole time the mandarin is knocked out. And why couldn't they do a time jump? We saw it all in real time. You know, it's like... Pedro, you're telling me the scene was... You're telling me the scene was longer than my walk to Disney Springs. That's...

It felt like it, and I never even taking that walk. All right, point made. Point made. I'm with you on that one. I still had fun. But I was watching it with an eight-year-old granddaughter. So, you know, what are you going to do, man? Got to go with the flow.

Oh, I re-watched back room. If anything, I liked it and got it less than the first time I watched it. Not a big fan. I just don't get it. I mean... No, wait a minute. You say you liked it and got it less. Less.

You liked it more. I liked it less and I got it even less. I understood it even less. Did you watch the version? I guess the version that came out on digital has like 13 extra minutes. I couldn't tell. To me, it was the same movie. with the giant pirate chasing the chick through the upside down staircase and a little holes in the ceiling.

And I don't know, man. Yeah, I got a little wild at the end. I'm a little old for that, I guess. Maybe what am I missing? I don't know. I just, yeah, to me, it was kind of a snooze fest. So whatever, to each their own, right? But you didn't like it?

No, I didn't like it at all. Oh, wait a minute. I liked it. I liked it more the first time I saw it. I see. That's what I was going to ask. So when you saw it first, you liked it somewhat. Correct.

And then you saw it again and you're like, fuck this shit. Exactly. Bingo. Yeah. Yep. Sometimes that happens. Water park shark. Brian, have you seen this one?

Pedro. What the, no, I have not. I have my own limits. I was going to watch it. I don't know. Isn't it like an hour long? It's about as long as the ice cream, man. Spoiler alert.

Fuck. No, it was really bad. It was really bad, but it wasn't so bad it's good, nor was it, I think, a bottom 10 bad. I think it was just maybe like, just barely above bottom 10. Like the storyline where they've got these guys mining crypto underneath the water park, and then the computers that they're using overheat and this blue goo comes out and gets in the water on the water park,

it floats off into the ocean and it infects these sharks and makes the sharks go crazy and go toward it for whatever reason. Like they're going back toward the blue goo that's inside underneath the water park. It's terrible. It's terrible.

Maybe it is bottom. The water park is empty into the ocean. I'm not going to rewatch it. That's for damn sure. Well, it also pulled its water out of the ocean. So I don't know. How many saltwater water parks have you guys been to? I don't know.

Usually chlorine, right? Yeah, I live on the beach and the water parks are not salt water. Yeah, it's bad. It's bad. Oh, one that I thought was going to be horrible that I actually enjoyed the hungry, hungry hippo movie, guys. Hungry? What the fuck out of here. You didn't like it, Brian?

No, because there was times when the hippo looked practical and then it went CGI. I thought it was all CGI. It looked horrible. But I thought the story was kind of original. And they actually drew that from a true story. Okay, what's the story? Like, how could it's a hungry, hungry hippo? Yeah.

A bunch of teenagers get stranded in the lake or some shit. That's in the bios of Louisiana. It's based on facts. Where hippopotamuses are. Yeah. Did you catch the story, Brian? There's hippos in Louisiana? Well, yeah, there used to be.

Absolutely, dude, under Teddy Roosevelt. They did a, they did an act. Actually, I didn't have heard about that. Congress didn't act. There was a meat shortage, okay? That's how dumb these motherfuckers are. All right. So it started, this is all facts.

You can look it up. It started with one of the world's fairs down there that they grew a lot of like Chinese lotus blossoms, right? And then they became an invasive species, right? And killing off a lot of the animals and causing problems in the bayous with a natural habitat. So they're like, hey, let's kill two birds of stone. Let's bring hippos in because that's what they love to eat. and they can eat all that and clean it up. And at the same time, we can, we got a meat shortage.

We can do hippo burgers for everybody. That's fucked though. About four years, they had an act where they were encouraging people to like raise hippos. And so this is a story, you know, like, Pedro, you know that little story about the snake that gets washed down the toilet. And then, or the baby alligator gets washed in the toilet. It's like that. But it's basically that these hippos escape. And when there's more than one

There's more than one hippo. Yeah, I'm not worried about spoiling this. Yeah, I mean. There was originally, yeah. Every fucking time the government gets involved in some shit like this, they're like, hey, let's bring in this other animal to kill off this animal and then it turns into a whole cluster of fuck. Every time.

Anyway, I had fun with it. What can I say? What's it called Hungry, Hungry Hippel? It's just called Hungry. Oh, okay. I think they were going to, weren't they going to call it hungry, hungry hippo, Brian? You did a news story about it a couple of years ago. Yeah, and then they just called it hungry. I'm sure like Milton Bradley or whatever came in wanting to sue them for that.

No, because their budget was basically like we can only afford to show one hippo. Well, there was a baby hippo though, remember, Brian? Oh, yeah. Anyway. Hungry hippo single. All right. So I didn't hate it. I didn't mean the poor hippo by saying hungry, hungry hippo.

Or hungry hippo or whatever. All right. So scary movie and hungry I kind of enjoyed. Mandeloran and Grogu, I know I shouldn't have enjoyed it, Pedro. You're looking at me, but I did. Backrooms I kind of hated and Waterpark Shark I kind of hated. So my cool of the week, you guys know I'm a Disney guy. I can't believe that I hadn't watched this animated film more often.

First of all, it's an animated film that came out that's, I think it was 2014, so it's only 12 years ago. But it wasn't computer animated. It was actually completely hand-drawn. And Keith David is the fucking boss in this movie. The Princess and the Frog. You guys seen it? I do not come out in 2014.

2008, maybe. I don't know that I've ever watched that movie. It wasn't as long back ago. See, I, dude, I used to think it was, like from the 90s because it was that hand-drawn animation that you just simply don't get anymore. I know it was at least 2008, Brian. I know it was a lot more recent than... So what's so good about this?

Princess and the Frog? Yeah, well, number one, it's a great story. It's your classic Disney story, right? You know, somebody has a dream. They lose their parents. They fall in love, you know. Your classic Disney story like the song of the South, man. Yeah, now stop it.

It's got all the... It's got all the Disney beats, man. Okay, look, she loses her dad in World War I, right? So she's got a dream of being this great chef and opening a restaurant. And then you get voodoo in there, and that's where Keith David comes in. And you've got basically the choice to either say, kind of like the Little Mermaid, if you've ever seen that one. The choice to kind of sell your soul for a chance to get what you think you want, but you choose not to sell your soul, but someone else does. And they create troubles.

It's a damn good movie. But really, my hat's off to Keith David. Like, the voice work on this character was amazing. And it's pretty spooky animation. That's his thing. He loves that voice work. Yeah, for sure, man. It's super, super creepy animation.

Really, really spooky. So, you know, because you got these voodoo ghosts coming out. You've got literally dead people and demons coming after him at the end of it. Of course, you know, he has to get his comeuppance, right, Pedro? Of course. It's a Disney movie. Cool of the week, Princess and the Frog. Not changing my mind.

Okay. Interesting. All right, Brian. Horror headlines? Yeah. First, Parker Finn's remake of the 1981 cult classic possession gets a June 11, 2027 release date. I still don't know how they're going to remake this movie. It's such a product of its time.

It's such a weird, like, a real movie. It's a great film. It's really, really good. If you're into, like, it tackles a lot of very deep subjects, like marriage and divorce and what it's like to be in an unhappy marriage and all that stuff.

But it's very heavy, you know, and I don't know how you could do it in the modern age. It's just, it's got that 70s vibe, which is, it's very hard to replicate, you know? So we'll see, we'll see what he pulls off. But I, you know, he might have to fall on that sword, I don't know. Because that movie

has a big reputation. It's got a huge fan base, too. So we'll see. Yeah, got to give it a try. Like they've remade, what were you guys talking about? The obsession guys remaking? Is it Texas chainsaw? Oh, yeah. He's going to faunt 10 swords. That's right. They've done a lot of versions of that, that's for sure. Yeah, none of them have been good. Like, not even part two. How about that for a hot take? Right. Okay.

That's my favorite one, but that's cool. Really? Okay. Yeah, oh yeah, I love Stretch, man. Come on. I think I was at the right age when I saw it, if you know what I mean. Do you love her or do you love the movie? Yeah, I do love the movie. I love where they filmed it because my dad used to take us to that restaurant all the time.

That was an actual, they built it as it's called the Matterhorn out in the middle of Texas, like in central Texas on the highway. And it was like a paper mache cake. that they built around a restaurant. They had a swimming pools in there with entertainers while you were eating. I'll never forget my dad walking up to the bar and ordering a cream de mentth. And I'm like, what the hell is a cream de mint? So I got good memories.

That's what the amusement park was, like an old empty, wow, it did a good job. It was a restaurant, man. It's called the Matterhorn. And, yeah, we used to, dad took us out there for dinner. It was probably about an hour and a half drive from Austin. where we live. So it was like enough of a destination restaurant, you know, that he'd drive us all the way out there.

They had people in costumes in there. It's pretty cool. But wait a minute. It just hit me right now. You said that was your favorite one? Texas Chainsaw Part 2, yes. Oh, okay. Yes, that's weird.

Because people say I'm my second favorite one. Because like the originals, you know, you can't really talk about it. I had more fun with two, especially the chili contest. I thought you liked that one, Lance. do you think cuz I thought you liked that one what oh no I didn't like that one Brian stop it

okay after part two they all suck could we agree on that like they all kind of suck after part two all right for the most part yeah part part three got a little bit of a following but it's not

it's all right yeah okay a clown in a cornfield two friend oh lives is officially in development Who asked for these movies? Yeah, I don't know.

Fans of the book. Gen Z, I guess. Gen Zers. These backrooms lovers, they're the ones that ask for these kind of films. I don't get it. Backrooms lovers. You won your hand at the casino

and it's time to get the fuck out. Yeah, they're like, double down. Right, get out while you can. Brenda lives. Okay. And I do remember we all kind of liked the first movie. Yeah, like it was surprisingly good. I didn't hate it, but this is a bad idea.

Yeah, but I mean, yeah, I didn't know either. I actually liked it quite a bit, but I mean, who's asking for a sequel? Like that was, that was just a finish. You had a good time. Let's move on, you know, but here we are. And we're going to watch it too, so who are we kidding? Right. Right. Be wearing a friendo t-shirt with a foam finger, right?

We'll be the only ones. They're going to lose millions. Yeah. Well, you said that about Avatar. Yeah, you did. Yeah, that's true. I really thought that one was going to bomb. Yeah, maybe the next one. Make another one, James Cameron. And he will. Just not a Supergirl movie. Those always bomb. Right.

Let's see. Michael Johnston, who was a... bear in obsession is in talks to star or not star and join the cast of the mummy four okay that's cool man they still haven't shocked that one they've been talking about that one forever the Brendan Fraser one part four is just

like yeah get it rolling already well I noticed lately they've been the way they've been doing movies is they start production and they add on the cast as they've been going okay okay well that's okay

and another thing too is like I keep on reading about how all these, the obsession cast, right? How they're all talking to big producers. What's her name? The girl, Navarred. She's talking to be about the, on the X-Men,

and she wants to be this, and the other girl quit her job. She's not walking dogs anymore. And I'm like, when do they actually get hired for the next job? Because all I'm hearing is like, they're talking, talking, talking. Just a lot of talk, right?

I'm like, I'm tired of people talking about they're selling out by taking these big franchises. Yeah, well, that's what you do, right? That's the whole point. Yeah. Yeah. Because everybody's going after her, you know, was it, Indy Never Ready?

Is that her name? Yeah. Sounds about right. Yeah. Because she had a meeting with the director for X-Men. And everybody's like, oh, you sold out or the guy Michael Johnson for talking to, yeah. Joining the Mummy 4.

But what do they want? Do they want them walking dogs for the rest of their lives? Like, I don't understand that logic. Well, yeah. She's sold out. That was the fucking point. That's like straight up hater logic.

Like that's straight up being just a hater. There's no two ways about it. You know, it's like this is the whole point of establishing a career, not just as an actor in any field. Any field. You want to be as successful as possible.

And that means taking all the breaks that you could get, you know? And so I don't understand this idea of Sally now. What does that even mean? Like you can't make more, you know. It's like they want her to keep walking dogs

and streaming video games to try to try to. to make games need to keep doing indie movies I mean she would be able to like buy groceries

now and shit that's that's that's hate her talk that's hate her talk yeah but I mean she could do both I mean we know a lot of actors that go back to the indie world

for a little while once they make their money you know Harry Potter let her play whatever she wants to play an X-Men you know

that's a big paycheck yeah I think we talked about this for you're right Lance Harry Potter Elijah Wood. Yeah, Elijah Wood, sure. Robert Pattinson did Twilight.

After Twilight, he did a bunch of indie movies. Yeah, and now he's back to the big time. Even Jake Gyllenha, he's put a few indie movies. Yeah. With some street cred. That's right. The list goes on, right? Now, the kid, though, that played Bear,

I could see him playing like a young Bruce Campbell. I get that Bruce Campbell. He does have that young Bruce Campbell. We just saw Young Bruce Campbell last week in Maniac Cop. That's right. Yeah, they should get him to play like, I don't know. They should do like a. Absolutely nothing in that movie.

Evil Dead prequel. What's that, Brian? He said he did absolutely nothing in that movie. Oh, he's talking about Maniac Cop. Yeah, Maniac Cop. But I don't know, Indie Never Ready wants to play Mystique. I think that's good casting. That's great.

Yeah, great casting. I wonder what Nass thinks. Who mean, coach? What's your cool of the week, Knows? Where are you guys at? What's your cool of the week? Have you got to the many things yet? Are you ignoring me?

We're working on it. Oh, okay. Well, cool of the week. Cool of the week, I went to Sulfur, Oklahoma over the weekend, and we went to the, oh, I can't even pronounce that film festival. Okay, Chobie. Yeah, something over there. Oh, that's in Florida.

It sounded like an Oklahoma thing. So we were out of the Reds at a film fest for Mike and I. He was showing his new documentary, Smudging, Revisited or something like that. Yeah, 10 years of the smudging, he did a documentary on making it, and they showed it out there. And that was on Saturday. And right after that, his movie or his doc.

We got to watch Prey on the big giant movie screen, kind of an almost IMAX screen. That's cool. So I had never, I only got to see it on my TV or my phone. Yeah, so I finally got to see it on a big-ass screen. You meet Amber Mid Thunder? Yep, she was there. Did you tell her I said hi? Oh, I was not.

She was there. Hey, my buddy says what's up. Jane Myers was there, the producer of the film. She's also in it for like a quick second. And Amber Midthunders, mom and dad. Oh, geez, what was that guy's name? I think his name was David.

I know her mom's name was Angelique. And yeah, I got David Midthunder. He's a stuntman, uh, actor, and just fucking all-around cool. dude. I mean, the film festival was fun watching Mike's thing. I'm also in it.

Watching prey on that big ass screen meeting Amber and her family, but her dad, he was fucking cool. Oh, man. He was kind of laid back 70s, a native guy. He was out there during the

American Indian movement and all that. We were just talking about just stuff. He did a lot of time out. in the Bay Area. So we were talking and we knew a lot of the same people. But then he goes, yeah, most of the time I'm just like

if I'm not surfing, I'm riding my dirt bikes or skating. And I asked him, I said, do you still skateboard? He went, yeah, man. He got I skate all the time. He lives in Santa Fe. And he goes to, he'll go out to Albuquerque and do the free rippers out there, the Indian school run. It's basically these big

giant water runoff ditches. and we just started talking about skateboarding all the places that he had been all the places I had been a lot of the spots we were talking about that were in the Bay Area

so man he was fucking so cool I could have sat there and talk to him all day but he was really cool watching prey on that big ass screen that was awesome and just going out there and hanging out with people we met last year

Mike's movie first voice they premiered it out there and hopefully next year we'll get to go back to that film festival because we made a lot of connections, a lot of friends, new friends out there, and just fucking just being out there. And man, it was hot and humid. Humid in Oklahoma, far away from the ocean.

Yeah, I don't know how you guys do it out there or even you in Florida or Philadelphia or Texas. We have the sea breeze. I don't know how you guys do it in that humidity. definitely humid I'm usually literally dripping sweat

by like 10 o'clock in the morning oh man but uh it was change the clothes with me uh was it

I don't know if it was Friday or Saturday I can't remember it was kind of overcast and uh it was getting ready to rain it rained a little bit um

but I was just more scared of tornadoes but none of that none of that happened so I was out walking and around. It wasn't as hot. It was probably like maybe high 80s instead of close to 100. For a couple days we were there.

Big difference. But it was cool just to be there and hang out with everybody and watch all. I see another movie. Oh, what was it called? It was a short film. It was only like seven minutes long. Oh, God, I can't remember. It was, these were all native films.

some lady was running out around this lake and then there was some creep prowler in the bushes that started chasing her and it was quick and to the point but the way it ended I was like fuck I wanted more so I was talking to the director he's going to come on my show and we're going to talk about it some more

but it was really cool so I mean it built the suspense huh? Yeah I mean but I mean you can only do so much in seven minutes. And he said he shot like almost a week and had to break all that down

into seven minutes. I was like, damn. That must be hell long. Hard to do something like that. But yeah, my time out there in Oklahoma, watching pray, watching Mike's documentary and hanging out with everybody and talking to

David Mid Thunder's fucking, again, he was so cool. And hopefully I can get down of Santa Fe. Because yeah, man, hit me up, bro. We'll skate. I'm like, cool. So, yeah, but other than that, man,

yeah, that's what's been happening. Nice. So we were talking about, what were we on? We were talking about the, the guys from obsession selling out, right? Was that our last conversation?

Yeah, but we weren't saying they were selling out. How'd they do that? Because they're getting offers and interviews with big directors of franchises and people are saying they're selling out

because apparently they just want them to be broke and do indie movies. Hate, haters gonna hate. So if someone started giving us millions of dollars to record these shows, I don't know about you guys, fuck yeah, I'll take that check. But I get it.

I mean, a lot of people, if they hit it big I mean look what happened to the the one dude the guys that did well they didn't really do anything big after Blur Witch I mean they did some other things with nothing as big as that

yeah it follows guy he's got his big movie coming out yeah it follows terror it still follows no but but he did he did and uh Oak Street.

Yeah, that one that's coming out this weekend. He's got that thing. But in between that, he's also done way more indie movies. He did the one with Andrew Garfield. What was it called something in Echo Park or something like that? A very weird. Something of Silver Lake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He did that

one. That's right. Okay. But this one he's got coming out this weekend is a big huge Academy Award winners in his movie. So, I mean, that's people, I mean, haters are going to hate, man. Okay, so yes. So you're still on our side.

I thought you were not on our side on this. It looks like a lot of fun. I'm really excited about this. No, I mean, I'll watch whatever. Let's go. All right. I mean, it's got Obi-1 and Catwoman in it.

I mean, nobody's crying because what's her name got cast in the X-Men movie, Samar Weaving. Right? No. Did she? What's Emma Frost?

Well, no heterosexual man better. be crying about that. And nobody, nobody complained about that. And not frost. Okay. Interesting. Kind of an anti-hero, right?

Yeah. I just think because obsession was like, when you think about it, it was a one in a million lottery ticket. You know what I'm saying? We never see shit like that. Like,

that's a, that's like a generational story. And so for a lot of these actors and the filmmaker, they have a blank check. Like, they literally have a blank check for their next project.

And I think there's a lot of people that just don't like that. They don't like when people are that successful. And they consider it lucky. You know, like, why do they deserve that? Well, even in the production itself, there was that one chick that was, I can't even remember what she was in charge of. Yeah, she wanted to be compensated because they all, they didn't make shit while they were making the movie, which everybody agreed to because there was no money. And now that it made all this money, she wanted to get compensated extra. She absolutely could have parlayed into a really great career where she would have made way,

more money, but now nobody's going to work with her because she's... Yeah, she could have used this as her calling card. That movie was her business card, right? Oh, I worked on this big movie and it's going to get me more job. What was this? She was like the art designer or some shit. She wanted to get more

money because when she worked on obsession, she got paid like it was like a little bit, like maybe like 600 bucks or something. And then now all of a sudden this movie made so much money and she wanted to get compensated for that. But it's like, when you take a gig, that's That's the gig. You can't go back and ask for more money when something big happens.

Yeah, you sign something. They said, we're giving you $2. That's what you're getting. You ain't getting $200. Should have worked it in your contract. Yeah. I get it, man. Nobody knows if your movie is going to hit.

So, I mean, look at Mandalorian and Grogo. Everyone thought that was billions of dollars. No, that's his number one movie of the year. Shut up. I mean, the movie was awesome, but I... It helped when you watch it with eight-year-old kids, evidently, which is something I'm going to tell it. Yeah.

I thought it was cool. I saw it twice the opening day. But the way everyone was bashing it, like, ah, it's terrible, it's this, it's that. I'm just like, man, no one's going to be happy with anything. Pedro was just bashing it. He said there was a 50-minute scene of Groku tried to dig a hole for the Mandalorian or something. Ness, remember that scene it went on forever? It was 15 minutes of silence

where Grok was trying to wake up the Mandalorian. Out of the swamp. And he tries all kinds of different. He taps him on his head. He digs a hole. He drags his feet. And we're just, why can you just fast forward through this shit?

Speaking of dragging our feet, right? They wanted, they just wanted to show the special effects team and what they could do with this little puppet. And then you had like the guy from, the from the bear like for no reason he had no reason to be in this movie because you can't even...

Oh, that's right. He was a job of the hut son. Yeah. I didn't even know that was him until we were watching the credits. Hey man, you take, I'd take that Disney check too, man. All you got to do is sit in a booth

and spit out these lines. Hell yeah, take that. Was that cousin? Was it cousin from the band? No, no, it was. It was the bear. Yeah. That was the bear?

Yeah. Oh. The main guy. Lip from Shameless. Okay. Yeah. Cousin is in the Fantastic Four as a thing. Yeah, I remember that one.

I thought maybe this was going to be his thing, his gimmick, right? Like doing heavy makeup where you can't tell it to. I didn't know it was him. I didn't either. I also saw Spider-Man just throwing that out there. Oh, okay. It was a lot of fun. Awesome.

Yeah. all right continue quick last three things before we get out of news leprecon movies back in development I'm the leprican saw writers Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan

who also did the collector movies okay those weren't terrible is it gonna be I want a part two to the one with Hornswago that never happened I want that one a part two to that It's only why that's happening

if you fund it. It was like the Descent 3 or something. That's all that would look like. Only Horn Swago and Ness would have won that movie to be made. That's only two people on Earth that would want this. Can't call him Horn Swaggle no more. You have to call him Swaggle.

Well, whoever, man, Swaggle can get back in that makeup and do another one. He's too busy beefing with Peter Dinklage. Yeah. for taking jobs from little people. Yeah, that toxic Avenger was no good. Speaking of Toxic Avenger, when I was at Comic-Con, I was talking to Uncle Lloyd.

Man, he's getting up there in age, man. I mean, all the years that I've met him, he was always, he was still super cool and all hype, but you could see he's getting old. he's looking he's looking at retirement and i was like man but it was still cool man he's still uh i bought toxic avenger the original for like the million time i bought the 4k this time so i said uh all right you're gonna get me here so i bought the 4k version of it uh he signed it so it was really cool hanging out with him went to the trauma panel as well they just got more crazy in his coming

with all these indie directors i mean i mean you gotta start somewhere didn't uh James Gunn's start with trauma? Yeah, I think he did tromia and Juliet. Yeah, I mean, people talk shit about trauma, man, but I've been die hard for them since the 80s. And yeah, man, they're still going. So good for them.

Speaking of still going, Blumhouse is reportedly developing a puppet master reboot along with a possible TV series. Blumhouse, okay. Oh, damn, another TV series? Like, everything's a TV series now. Yeah, that's true. right. Is it any better than that last one?

Oh, the final right? Yeah. The littlest rike. I love that one. Oh, the littlest rike. I love that movie. I love that movie. That was terrible. Uh, come on. Ripping a baby out of a woman's womb while she's in bed. Come on. They went downhill after the first one. Who's the name of the owner of Full Moon Pictures? What's his name? Charles Ban. I'm surprised he's he, that guy doesn't sign anything away. I'm surprised he, he, he, he, he, he, he's He allowed Blummouth to do this shit. He's got to get paid.

He's a soft in his old age. He's one of the biggest conmen in the industry. Got to get paid. And finally, before we get out of news, we had to talk about. We talked about Paramount doing a nightmare on Elm Street movie. Well, New Line Cinema owns the international rights. Oh, boy. They are going to try to beat Paramount.

This was big news, by the way. To make their own nightmare on Elm Street. Like a European nightmare on Hove Street. So there's going to be two Freddy's running around pretty soon at the same time. And none of them are going to be Robert England. That's a sad part. Oh, man. Things are going to get weird.

That franchise went downhill after Dream Warriors. Oh, yeah. Well, that was the best one. I think it was better than the first. Honestly. Dream Warriors is my favorite. Look at Langell's hot takes today. Dream Warriors.

Dream Warriors was the best one. then for me, three, one, and then two. What was the best, what was the best Texas chainsaw, Nez? Two. What the fuck? What's happening to you? What the hell's going on? It was awesome.

I love that one. More than part one? Way better. Way better. Way better. I can. I can. All right.

When he was holding that trophy with the chili in it? But it was fun. The beautiful thing about living in America is that everybody could have an opinion. That's right. That's right. The first one's good. I mean, I love it. I see it every time they play it in the theater

when they bring it back. But, I mean, they went for it with the second one. You guys going to watch the 4K one for Texas chainsaw day here, I think in a few days. I hadn't heard about it.

If it's playing, I'll go see it again. Yeah, I'll go see it. I'm going to see Trane to Busan tomorrow. That's right. that movie. You hated Tray to Bazahn? Oh, me? Yeah.

Hell, that movie was hell of good. What are we talking about? I clearly remember. This was like our first show we ever did with Nez. And Ness was like, eh. It was man. That movie was hell of good. That movie's a 10.

I love that movie. Okay. First time I think it was on my phone. I'll have to go find that episode again, Brian. I was pretty wish you watched the audit, I remember. Or maybe it was Phil. Maybe it was Phil. Okay.

I was crying watching that movie. Yeah, that final scene, man. Wrips your heart out. Oh, my God. I'm crying them all night. Make sure all my popcorn's gone before I start crying. Sogged popcorn. It'll be good to see on the big screen.

I've only seen it either on my phone or on my TV. So I'm ready. Right. Damn, 10 years. What did the time go? Yeah. And train to New York never came, huh, with Will Smith? They never made it.

That was going to be the American rebate. Thank God. Yeah. Leave it as it is. The second one was all right, Peninsula. I never even saw Peninsula, I don't think. It's okay. The animated one's cool, the prequel.

That one was good. I saw that one. Yeah. All right. Is that it for news? I guess we're not going to talk about it around. I'm sure you're having two movies. Oh, yeah, we're talking about everything, but.

I mean, I'll watch them. But it's a bad idea all around. Like, who's going to play Freddy Kruger? There's only one Freddy Krueger. Like, you know. Yeah. Like, that one guy from, from,

he learned the hard way from the remake. Yeah. Kelly Leak for Bad New Builds. He's got three names. What's his name? That was it? Leading for Badly Bears. Oh, was it?

Okay. Yeah. Anyways, he learned the hard way. Jack Earl Haley. Yeah, that guy. He's a good actor, but not to play Freddy. Is he? That guy from Evil Dead Burns should play Freddy Kruger, the one that was the father.

Sure. Yeah, that would work. He probably will in one of the two. Maybe the guy that played Bear will play Freddy Kruger. Why not? They're upset. They should stick a Scars guard in there. Maybe he'll sell out.

Stick a Scarscar. Yeah, Bill Scarsgar is to these kind of like, what do you call it? The makeup people. Yeah. That's what Peter Dinklish is to the midgets, you know, taking all these jobs. Little people. Little people, sorry. Either that or the bear.

The bear is taking a lot of them, right? Wasn't he one of the Von Erich? Yeah, he was. The wrong Von Erick, by the way. He was carried, which is a miscarriage of justice. I don't think I could watch that. again that was too sad. The one that was Kevin was

yoked up like Carrie and the one that was Carrie was kind of looked like Kevin. What was weird? Right. Well, you know. And they didn't even bother him. Chris Von Erick. They just didn't even put him in the movie. You didn't exist. It might have been the Mandela universe Von Erick's man.

All right. Trailer part. All right. Brian's going to bring us the big, the small and sometimes the very, very weird. What's the first one tonight, Brian? First and only one is Violent Night 2. What do you guys think? I mean, it looks a little sillier than the first one.

The first one was cool, but it had like some darkness to it, some like very, it was kind of like dark comedy. This one is more of just like a lighthearted good time. You know, they introduced the wife. And, and yeah, it's kind of like the same old, same old. The reindeer have a little more to do in this one it looks like. Right. And who, what's, what's her name that's play of Mrs. Claus?

Kristen Bell. Kristen Bell. Love me some Christian Bell. I love that she's in this movie. I love her in everything that she's in. She's great. What you think, Lance? I like this movie better when it was called Home Alone.

I've seen all this stuff, man. Come on. Really? The slapstick. Home alone was setting them all? I don't know, man. I'm not, I'm not excited about this. For somebody that is rah-rah,

Mary. But wait a minute. But the only thing has in common is the Christmas spirit. Like, well, how is it home alone? Right. I don't know, dude. It's just these stupid, like that one scene where the guy had his head, like part of his skin came off his head and there was the burn there.

They did, I love it, from home alone. Okay. This ain't more like Elf. More like Elf, yeah, I could see that. Maybe Peter Declidge will show up. I might love the first one. Take another job of from Little Pete. people. He's an angry elf.

They should have went more into his Viking story. True. Yeah. Well, maybe they will, right? It was just a trailer, so we don't know how it was going to be in the story. I don't want to see him getting more peaceful, which is what seems to be like he's trying to be nonviolent. I'm like, man, I kind of liked violent

Stanton Claus. That was pretty cool. Well, we're going to get violent Mrs. Claus because she's got a fucking sword. Right. That is true. And I bet she's going to be badass. I know anything about Kristen Bill. We'll all be there. A fat man too?

I'm surprised we don't already have one. That's a way better Santa movie. The fat man is way better than anything. He's busy making a sequel to The Passion of the Christ. Are you serious? How do you do a sequel to that? When he comes out of the cave. This is the resurrection.

He comes out of the cave with the Easter button. Come on, guys. Is Jim Coombees coming back for this? No, no, Lance is legit. He actually already finished it. He's in post-production. Okay. But he's coming out of the...

That means that a bunch of, like, 90-year-old, like old women are going to go back to the theater, like, the first one. Oh, man. But, uh, but yeah. So he's not going to... He's not going to be like a two-hour ass whooping, which was very uncomfortable to see with that first one. Um, it was rough.

This is more of a resurrection. And I don't know if Jim Caviz was coming back. Is it going to be a revenge movie? I don't know. We'll see. But that's what he's doing. When he says, when I said turn the other cheek, I meant turn him over and slap his other cheek. Violin'i 2 looks good.

I might just finish watching the trailer. Yeah, for us wrestling fans, MJF is in the movie. That's right. Who was he in Iron Claw? Wasn't he in that? Yeah, he was the fake von Erick. What was his name? Lance.

Lance Ron Eric. Okay. But they cut all his scenes. So all you see is like a quick, like ring. He's wrestling. Like, believe me, he was here. Yeah. Well, he shot a whole bunch of scenes, but they cut him all.

Right. Oh, that sucks. Well, why, when does this come out? December or November? December 4th. All right. I have to watch that first one again. Man, that's around Avengers doomsday in time.

So they better make their money in that first week. Oh, yeah. They ain't making shit after that. They got a good two weeks. Yeah, that's the best Christmas movie I've seen in a minute, though. Avengers Doomsday? No, actually, Brian, because Jumanji's coming out the week before, I think that's going to be a big more.

Another Jibonji? That's going to bomb. Okay. That trailer looked awful. Pretty bad, huh? That second one was not good. Yeah, I didn't know. It was the thing.

Unbelievable. Yeah, this time the avatars of the game. characters are in the real world. So what's this, Jamonji 4? Okay. Yeah, technically, because it is canon with the original. I think so. He's still got the rock.

Yeah, and he looks noticeably smaller. Yeah. Hold on. I got a quick question for Pedro, because I was listening to y'all talking about the IMAX screen and the true IMAX screen and just that, the other. Yeah, there's one. It's in Fort Lauderdale.

So it's not too far from here. It's a couple hour drive. from here. But the problem is I can't get Odyssey tickets. It's like you open the website and it's sold out, sold out, sold out. Yeah, everybody is still struggling to get Odyssey tickets for Rio IMAX. So what's

next? Anybody know what's the next big IMAX movie after the Odyssey? Dooms Day. Yeah. No, no. Doom Part 3. Avengers ain't getting an IMAX. That's right. You are talking about how they got screwed out of it, right? Right. So that's why they invented this new Infinity Vision.

shit, that's a big scam. So, Dune 3 then, is the next one. Or screen X, whatever that is. Because Spider-Man just now, I think this weekend is getting IMAX theaters finally. Okay. Yeah, but the fake ones. The real ones is still

No, they're supposed to be getting legit ones now. Was it converted for IMAX or filmed with IMAX? Somebody told me that it's better in IMAX because the director filmed it specifically scenes for iMacs

yeah yeah that makes a difference other than the Odyssey if you got to see Michael in iMacs that was that was legit that was filmed with the iMacs cameras because that filled the screen

the whole time right that was awesome not my movie of the year but it was it was fucking awesome next what's your movie of the year so far uh i can't say but michael's right up there okay

all right Fair enough. Michael's right. Michael's up there though. That movie was hell of good. Yeah. I haven't seen that one. It's a scary movie six. No,

I'm just kidding. It's been a while since we had multiple. It's been a while since we had multiple billion dollar movies. Right. In a year. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. It's like movies are making a comeback this year.

Mm-hmm. Like we got a lot of heavy hitters. Yeah. In December, there's a stack. December's pretty stacked. So. we'll see

all right all right let's see we're gonna talk about don't go on the house bitch that trailer don't go on the house bitch don't go in the house bitch

what a title I don't know if he's gonna actually make that movie after we talk about don't know what I know was it just they had those like grind house yeah but he's supposed to be

he's supposed to be making it with Snoop. Snoop got time. He could do it. Yeah, but the thing is that Eli Roth has a lot of heat on him right now and not for the right reason, so maybe Snoop don't want anything to do with him. Eli Roth, well, I put through the ringer with the promotion of this movie pretty bad.

And we'll talk about it. Okay. Oh, all right. Well, that'll be interesting because I'm not sure where that's going. I'm not either. All right. Well, we'll jump into a podcast spotlight. We're going to skip some feedback, but we do have a podcast spotlight on PVD horror

horror fiends out of Rhode Island bringing you the best in film, literature, artwork, and a whole lot more building and supporting the horror community as a whole. Out of Rhode Island. PVD horror representing Rhode Island. Holy shit, is that your microphone, Phil?

I don't know. Oh. Yeah, with the lights. Yeah. I can't get it to stop. I'd go blind. You can't get it to stop. It's always a cheesy top beard.

Just notice that too. He's getting ready for Violin' night too. That's it, man. You got to be Santa Claus in time for Christmas. And that's been with that's weather. But yeah, logos and stuff, you can get on the website

with a great t-shirt at www.thehorroriturns.com made from Steve designed all our stuff. Made from human skin. Made from human skin. Human steves. That's the exclusive Patreon version

you can get it. Natsulani did the skull artwork. Check her out on Instagram. And please consider becoming a Patreon patron. That would be awesome. All right. On to the movies.

What are we got here? What's that? Nothing. Go ahead. Clear for takeoff. All right. We're going to start with the Cooties from 2014. A mysterious virus hits an isolated elementary school, transforming in kids into

feral swarm of mass. Uh-oh. As savages. There it goes. An unlikely hero must lead a. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. He froze.

We haven't had that happen in a while. Uh-oh. What happened? B. Jamee. Let me see if I can find out on IMDB here. Our good pal, Bid Jameen, froze. All right. A mysterious virus is isolated elementary school,

transforming kids into a feral swarm of mass savages. And unlikely, Harrow must lead them out. Banded features to the flight of their lives. Sorry, this is directed by Jonathan, somebody. I have my glasses on.

Malati, maybe? Thank you. Okay, good. He got the... Corey. There's bead. Maron. You got the memo, Philip?

Yeah, sorry, man. My freaking Wi-Fi died. I thought maybe Kristen Bell was over there. You got frozen. That'll do it. All right. Are we still recording? I hope so.

Yes, I clicked over and I am recording again. My bad guys. All right, anyways. It says I've been recording the whole time. So hopefully good. Cootie's director is Jonathan Millot and Carrie Mernian. Writers are Lee Wynnell. Ian Brennan and others.

Oh, that name is familiar. Ian Brennan was... You don't know Lee Wannell? Of course we do. He's doing a TV series. Speaking of TV series, he's doing, what was it called, reboot or something? That one where he was like the super enhanced guy?

Upgrade. Yeah, upgrade. Oh, yeah. Upgrade. He said that like five years ago. Ah, okay. Well, maybe they're not. From idiocacy.

But I mean... They should do an idiotic. accuracy TV series. After the Wolfman, he's got something to prove because he's got to come back from that atrocity. Indeed.

Yeah. Oh, and I think I was thinking him Neil Brennan, not Ian Brennan. Never mind. I was going to say, he's a writer for Chappelle.

Could have been. Yeah. Ian Brennan's in this movie. He's the principal. Oh, okay. See, I thought it was

little monsters that we were watching with Lupita Niango. I did too. And then I was like, oh, yeah. I forgot about this movie. That's where I got Josh Gadd from.

Yeah. Talking about this a few weeks ago. All right. Well, Nez, you want to start us out on Cooties? I don't not remember this movie at all. I didn't watch it. But what I remember, man, I had a all-star cast. Dwight, True.

Dwight. Yeah. And actually, this has a pretty good cast, I think. I mean, I'm sure somebody old somebody favors, because this is kind of a low-budget movie. Right. You have like Elijah Wood, Rain Wilson,

you know, Lee Wan-O is in here. So. With this American accent. You got Badger, Matt Jones. That's right. He is in here as well. But I don't know.

When I think of this movie, I own it and I remember when I saw it back in 2014, this is what a good time should look like in my opinion. Just very fun, very light, but enough to where you're invested in the characters when something happens to a minute, you kind of feel it a little bit.

And just, this is the kind of movies that I like, you know, just because there is a lot of good character development in between the shenanigans, you know? And so, and so I really, I didn't really watch it, but I did, from what I remember, I did enjoy it quite a bit. So. Yeah. Brian? Yeah, I really enjoyed this one.

Great cast, a perfect mix of comedy and horror. I like the effects. I remember originally watching it when my daughter was, my youngest daughter was even younger, and this, like, put her off from chicken nuggets for, like, a long time. Yeah, that opening scenes a little disgusting. I remember. Gross.

Looking at the pictures of this on IMDB, man, it's coming back to me. I mean, I did enjoy it. I do remember watching this. And I think I only watched it because it had so many people in it that I knew. and pretty eyes Elijah Wood so love some Elijah Wood and that weird guy from 30 Rock

he's always pretty funny Ryan Wilson no no no I'm thinking of something else The skinny weird The skinny weird blonde guy Oh uh fix it Felix Yeah Oh that's right

Fix it Felix okay well He's always funny I mean you know he's He's always in character, but he's funny in character. Right. That was a Penny's brother in Big Bang Theory. Oh, okay. That one guy from the fuck is that show.

Lost. Hugo. Yeah, the guy, he takes the shrooms at the wrong fucking time. That was fun, because he had like nothing to do with the movie, but they kept cutting to him. I know. I kept cutting to him in the van. Are these kids really eating people or is this just me? Holding on to a steering wheel for their life.

Giraff showed up next to him. And it's got Peter Kwong, rain from Big Trouble in Little China. That's right. That's right. Another legend that was. That did not even click with me. Yeah, me neither.

Until you said something and I went, oh. Lance, what do you think? I was kind of on the fence a little bit. I guess I kind of enjoyed watching it. I didn't love it. I didn't hate it. Lance is back, everybody. I guess it was trying to make some kind of a societal statement, right,

about how we ultra-process foods and we don't know what we're eating and our kids are eating unhealthy stuff. I mean, is this like the Robert Kennedy Jr., like real that got him elected or got him chosen for his position or something, like make America healthy again or something like that. I don't know. Maybe they weren't really trying to say anything in it. That was just the red herring.

That was just to drive them to applaud. The little chicken nuggets didn't mean jack shit. To be fair, we eat an awful lot of processed shit. Oh, a lot of garbage. It is bad. Nothing is good. I don't care what anyone says. Everything that sells in the store unless you grow at yourself,

but even if you grow it yourself, I mean, the stuff that's in the ground, and it's what's in the air and oh, I know. Yeah, I mean, just eat it. I mean, just parts. There's no getting away from it. You know, you know who kills their own game and he said Brock Lesnar.

He sure does. And if he really likes you, he'll send you some of the shit that he kills. Like, he'll send you steaks and all that shit. Really? Wow. That's if he likes you. If he likes you. If he doesn't, he'll send you somebody's head.

I think he sent Cody Rhodes like a shit that he killed himself. that's like real food right there we don't see a lot of people like that anymore that guy was born in the wrong time yeah Brock Lesner in a pair of jeans looks so goofy he's like like a like a stretch Armstrong

and you grabbed him by the feet and just squeezed it all up to the top he's not made to wear jeans because every time he shows up on TV and jeans he's always tearing through him that hair I don't like it yeah I'm right in the middle on this one guys. I mean, but

I mean, food like that you butcher yourself, it tastes way different than what you're buying it. It's got to be healthier, though, right? It's got to be healthier and more ethical. Again, it depends on what you're feeding it. If it's like cattle or stuff like that.

Wild deer and all that, you don't know what they're eating, but I mean, we still eat it. Acorns, right? I don't know. They're probably eating shit and all this is out there. But we know that chicken nuggets are not good. for you, no matter how these slices. That's the takeaway. We don't even know if they're real chicken half the time, you know? True. True. I don't know, but those Wendy's nuggets are good.

Oh, they're good, though. I mean, I could easily scarf down 20 of them at a time in the, in the right. They're just, it's like a potato chip. Like, you can't just have a lot. It's impossible. Yeah, I'll eat a whole bag and not even think about it. I want everybody to do it, everybody that's listening and everybody here do an exercise, try to have one chicken nugget and when you have more available and you'll see how impossible that is. All right, I'm going to give

it a try. When I get them from Wendy's, I only get whatever's the most, 10. Right. I can't take down the 20 from McDonald's, but I don't. The ones that Wendy's are small, though, aren't they? You've seen some Wendy's have, you can get a bucket of like 50.

Take it to the movie. would be like instead of popcorn. No, I can't do it. Unless I had a bunch of people that were eating them with me. Yeah, but I can't take 50 down. I mean, I feel bad at eating 10. I like, those McDonald's nuggets are just like

chicken, chicken pieces that are pieces. The wind is good, Dan. I agree with Philip. I like to dip, I like to dip them all in like buffalo sauce, though, hot sauce. There you go.

That's broken. I should just take them down. with sweet and sour, but doctor said no more sugar, so I can't. I just eat it and plain. Okay. I got to get the buffalo. My wife hates it, but I love it. I actually had a really good time with this movie.

I feel like it's what a comedy should be. There you go. I feel like it's kind of hard to make a comedy now. Yeah, you got cynical people like Lance who give something a four on ten because they don't. I like scary movie. Well, it never hits the way. way that it used to when we were growing up, you know, I don't know what it is. Comedy just doesn't work that well anymore.

It has to be a certain type of comedy. Oh, I watched that 72 hours on Netflix with Kevin Hardy. Have you all seen that trash? No, no, you couldn't pay me this. Barely made it, man. Barely made it through that shit. He had the swollen face, and I kind of wanted to watch it. Go ahead, go for it, dude.

He had a Will Smith and Hitch kind of thing going. Right. but uh no i i had a lot of fun with it uh i liked all the character i was always been a big fan of elijah wood um rain wilson cracks me up he's actually got some some acting chops along with the comedy uh so i think he pulled it off i didn't think that was him at first i'll tell you that when he got out of that big monster truck he's fun man he's a fun guy um yeah i i i had a good time with this movie. It was it was a lot better than I expected it to be. And like I was kind of pleasantly surprised. Even though I actually liked that little monsters to a movie from what I remember,

which is what I thought I was fixing to watch. But I was kind of pleasantly surprised with it. I was like, oh yeah, I remember this one. This is a good movie. Yeah. Yeah, that's a pretty popular trope, that whole, you know, the little town, the people in the school, like trying to run away from something that's possessed and all that. We've seen that in a bunch of of movies. The crazies. Yeah, this is nothing new, but I just thought this was a good balance of comedy and like, again, like the character development was really good. Um, so I don't know, I enjoyed it. The comedy was funny. Most of it hit. Yeah. So that makes a difference. Because it was good talent to deliver the, the lines. You know, it was good talent there. Um, so.

All right. Scores. Uh, as you said you did not see this one. Before what I remember, I'll be, I'll be I did like it. I enjoyed it because everybody that was in. Nine on ten, he's going to say. No, I'll go. It might be higher. I haven't seen it a long time, but I'll give it a fair score. I'll give it a seven.

Okay. That's fair. Okay. I will give it a seven as well, seven on ten. Okay. Brian? I'll go a little higher a 7.5. Oh.

Nice. Lance. It's five, you know. Oh. It's right in the middle for me. Add in another one. Yeah. Right in the middle.

I really expected a four on 10th. I'm going to go 7 also, man. I think I had a good time with this movie. It was fine. All right. Just a good time. You didn't have to think too hard about it. Nobody's going to do the hated it.

All right. And my internet is not working correctly. What is our next movie? Ice cream man. Ice cream man. Stop me as I'm passing by. Make sure you get to the 2026 one. from 2026.

An idealic summertime descends into madness when an ice cream man serves kids, sweet delights with four or five. And results. Okay. It does have an IMDB rating,

but we'll get... Oh, sorry. We don't want to give that away yet, right? All right. Yeah, no, it does have an IMDB rating, but we'll get to that. Director is, of course, Eli Roth, writers are Noah Belson and Eli Ross.

Noah Belson. Okay. All right. Nez, did you see Ice Cream Man? Yeah. Let me do mine real quick because I got to go. But this movie was awesome. I love my stuff. Really?

I love the whole. No, no, no. I get the AI thing that everybody was crying about. Right, right. I get it. Okay. But, I mean, the way everyone was tearing this movie apart before I seen it, I mean, even the Theo was saying, man, it's getting bad reviews.

I'm saying, you know what? Let me see it before I judge it. Yeah. Ness, real quick. You watched the Eli Rothman or the one with Clint Howard. Oh, that was awesome too. But now, man, I thought this movie was awesome. I loved it.

It was pointless. It was bloody. It was gory. I love the practical effect. It looked like it was shot for like $10. Yeah, man. I didn't care, dude. It was awesome.

I mean, but then again, I watched strong movies. So, but I thought this movie. was good. I loved it. I had no issues with it. But I get the AI thing. I understand it. Right, right. But no, man, I had a good time with it. The story was a little wonky because when it was over,

I was like, wait, really? That's it? Yeah, what about the way it ended? Is that piss you off? He ran out of money, so they just ended it. And I was kind of like, uh, okay. He ran out of money. I mean, this is his first time out with his new company, right?

Okay. He produced a bunch of stuff. I think that what was it the death dreamer death eater that was the first one whatever that movie was called like a year ago Did he direct that? No, no he just he just put it out he he distributed it through his oh what is the video section is called the video section that's the horror section Orr section I'm sorry you're right and yeah This movie It was it wasn't good I'm a trauma fan too, but I you know and and and I'll be fair like the hate that he's getting online is not fair Like, there's a lot of dumb people saying how this one is kind of like, because he focuses on kids a lot.

So you could imagine what kind of criticism he's getting. And I'll just leave it at that. Well, yeah. And then also there was like something about how like he's racist because he killed a black cop. And there's a lot of stuff that's not fair. That is not true. We're back in people. People calling haters for the people.

Yeah, like, but with all that said, this movie is not good. It's not a good movie. Yeah, it's not like. It's not a masterpiece. The acting is horrible. Like the main. kid, is that a parody? Like, he was, he was the worst actor in this movie.

I think it's a parody. You know, he, he would stand there and then just remember, like, it was just bad. He was reading his lines off cards. I think so. And then, and then this movie, it had a $6 million budget. Where did that money go? Six million. Six million.

All those practical effects and the ice cream. What a mean, practically? He made, half of it was AI, you know? Really? To me, it's a thing. They had like die smeared. So here's one of the biggest controversies. So they asked them early on.

Was there AI in this movie? And he said, no. There was a team that, you know, supposedly made everything. And then somebody did some research and they busted his ass. They busted him, you know, dead to rights. And then he changed his story. He was like, oh, we hired some AI for like polishing and stuff like that. But from what I understand, it was the, the cartoon, you know how they had the cartoon,

the wacky the one of the, the Halloween three, Silver Shamrock gimmick that he had. Yeah. Ice cream man. Yeah. Yeah. So he, so that was all the AI. And then I think the cartoon was AI generated? That wasn't the hand-drawn. You could clearly see that. Yeah, it was it was AI generated.

And right now when it comes to the film industry, that's a, that show will get you blackball. It's a big no-no right now. Oh, he's canceled. He's officially canceled. Because it's costing actors jobs, you know? And so there's a big thing right now. And then with $6 million, how come he just didn't hire an artist, bro?

Like just, you have money. Hire a fucking artist. You don't have to take short. Where'd all that money go? Gotta pay for the ice cream. Oh, I thought maybe all of his cocaine. And then the story was all just like generic shift from other movies. You know, I'm sure he saw weapons.

Of course. He's ripping off weapons in this movie. This was like the new scary movie is what you're saying. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and I hated it just as much. Well, was it better than scary movie at least. Oh, it was a parody. Scary movie.

No, we didn't see the Wayneson Astis Chaps in this one, so it wasn't better than, than scary movie. And so, no, I just thought this movie was just bad, bad. But I don't feel that he himself as a human being deserves the hate that he's getting. Because there's a lot of bullshit in there, too. But the movie itself, it just wasn't a good movie. Now, was it gory? Yes. Was it bloody? Yes.

But even, even like, they had one of your pet peeves lands, which is the fake fire. They had some of that fake fire in there. Especially what? That was a lot. a whole scene. How about a whole 50-minute scene? Let me give you my score because I get a jet, but I'm giving this a nine. This movie was awesome. And I'm out.

Top ten for Nez. Hell of good. He had to be trollee. That's a troll job. He was a troll. No, he's serious. I get it, though. I get it. And I'll get into why I get it. You can never guess what Nez's scores are going to be. No, but that says that look on his eye. Like, he's about to like this one

better than cooties, and that's going to set me off. So So anyways No so yeah This movie was just It wasn't a good movie And it was just That ending which we didn't like the big twist

No I did it And it didn't because it didn't make sense When you think about it Like why would that person be talking to those kids If he was the guy out It's just stupid It just seemed like You know what it was too

It wasn't so much that I hated this movie I was just very disappointed Because I feel like Eli Roth should be able to make better movies Well, see, I knew. I already knew he doesn't. Just by the sheer, like, he's been around for so long. He should know better.

Some of the fundamentals, like, get the fucking kids to act right, you know, don't, you know. So to me, this was like a parody, you know? Yeah. You know how sometimes we end up thinking, like, when we see M. Night Shyamalan Linnong movies, we're thinking, is he joking with us? Is he fucking with us the way their characters act and whatnot? That's the same thing I had with this movie. Is he putting us on?

Yeah. Is Eli Rob. Like, are we all part of a joke here that we're not getting? But anyways, it was just ridiculous. And then to top it off, yeah, the ending's fucking sucked. I was already pissed. The movie's like 70 minutes long, but it feels like it's two hours. Now, that's harsh.

It felt like 70 minutes to me. Okay, well, and then we saw that trailer. I mean, the best thing about that movie. It was like a TV episode, basically. That trailer with Snoop Dogg, you know, don't go in the house, bitch. That was the best thing about this movie. Okay. Ouch.

So anyways, what do you guys think about it? Right. Ouch. This movie was probably the worst thing I've seen all year. Uh-oh. The acting was bad. The story was bad. The effects were bad.

I did not like one character in this movie. Uh-huh. Has Eli Roth lost his passion, not for putting out horror movies, but for making them. quality you mean no you know what when i was watching the movie i could i could feel that he thought he was making a good movie he thought he was making a rob zombie masterpiece huh like i i felt like he thought oh there's a lot there's a lot of uh parodies and tributes and homages and people are going to connect the dots and because he even had the token little black kid that we would

see back in the day in these kind of films like he he he tried to do everything to where people would be like that's a nice tribute to that movie that movie that movie that movie Yeah, yeah, sure, sure. But it just didn't work. And again, I keep on going back to this. Like, some of the treatment he's gotten has been very unfair. Like, yeah, they have that scene where the black cop, but that was, it was just a scene. There's nothing, there's no racism or anything involved.

No, of course not. Or even the fact that the little, it's a movie with a bunch of little kids. That doesn't mean that he himself likes looking at little kids. You know what I'm saying? It's just, how else are you going to tell a fucking story about fucking maniac kids? You have to have them in the movie. Yeah, like a couple of starts. Trek episodes in the old series where they had kids that would like kill all the grownups,

you know? Yeah, but that was a 60, so you never know. Maybe there was something going on there. So, but, but yeah, no, so a lot of that is unfair. But the movie itself is just wasn't a good movie. Right. Yeah, the ending is fucking ridiculous and stupid. Yeah.

I thought the one thing that was going to redeem it was, was the kills. And when the first kill happened, I was like, okay. we might have something here, but as it went on, I'm just like, I'm with you, Pedro, where the fuck did the money go? Oh, no doubt, yeah. Because we see somebody like, I think I always pronounce his name wrong, Damien Leon. Yeah, terrified director.

Look what he did for less. Yeah, hundreds to thousands, not even a million for the first one. They got to pay for all that. Oh, man, my score is getting lower by the minute as a, We're getting something like obsession. Give it a higher rating the Cootie's coming in. We're getting something like obsession that was made for 750,000. Right.

And then we're getting ice cream man that was made for, what, five, six million? Yeah. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Good point. And I feel bad because there's another ice cream man movie that's based off a very popular horror comic that's supposed to come out.

I feel like that's not going to do good because people are going to associate it with this movie. Now that title's burned. Yeah, titles burned. Well, so is Eli, it sounds like. So maybe we'll luck out. Maybe we've seen the last Eli movie. No, he still has Thanksgiving, too. He wants to make that one.

He'll come back just like Mel Brooks or Mel Brooks. Yeah, I don't know who I'm talking about. I don't know if a hundred out of a hundred. Fat man. What's his name, Mel Gibson? They tried to cancel him. He was showing his ass on a video. Yeah.

Let's not compare the reasons for each other's cancellation here. Mel Gibson was out of his mind, like, in a lot of ways. Plus, look at how many people are railing about the Jews right now. He fits right in. What was that time mark? On both sides. I was like, ooh, hey, the Jews are losing this battle. Both sides are against them.

so yeah so i i yeah so what are you guys seeing uh lands philip you guys have been just nodding your heads not not not really any kind of opinion i can't i can't even say anything now because i you guys literally you know like just like a balloon deflating you took all the joy out of those few little okay well what did you like well you were talking about the first kill where they saw on the the mother's head off in the bed i thought that was fucking hilarious And then they... Yeah, that was good, and then the kills just got Dumber and cheap.

Like where they were scooping brains out, and it looked like, uh, looked like they used like maybe jello with a little bit of plastic slime at it or something like that. Yeah, it was just, yeah, it was rough. Yeah, the acting was terrible. And where did they get all these people? I didn't recognize a single actor.

Did you guys? Probably the people that lived in that town. Was this Eli's family that he put in the movie? And did all the five million go up? nose or something. He was filming it. Probably. Man.

I can't believe this guy. I haven't seen anybody else. I mean, he got, he was a dad, so he took one. He paid himself, you know. Right. Yeah. And, and, but other than that, I don't know. I can't.

Spoiling now. The only guy that I do recognize, and I only recognize him because I've seen an interview was Benjamin, Byron Davis. He played the preacher. Right. He does voice work for Red Dead to Redemption. I know you play those games.

Yeah. Yeah, with that voice, he's got to do voice work. No offense, but that's scraping the bottom of the barrel. It really is. A video game voice guy? Yeah, he's the only one I recognized. The ice cream man, I recognized him from Orphan Black. That's the only reason I knew.

If you go to the Wikipedia, you can't click on anybody's name because they're, they haven't done anything. there are a surprising number of big actors that do some voiceover work in video games now, though. I believe that. Keith David, right? I'm sure. I'm David Keith. Probably David Keith also.

Yeah. No, it was definitely bad. You guys were right. And they're trying to make it look like a... I think it was not a parody per se, Pedro. I don't think he meant it as a parody per se, but I think there was definitely... Like you said, he was thinking that... he was making these genius callbacks, you know, with a necromancer and the siren.

Yeah. And then we never know why the grownups only get paralyzed by the ice cream. Oh, that was terrible. That made no sense at all. And then the girl has to act paralyzed for like that. Talk about the grogust scene. That was another scene that took forever. Yeah, where she had to deep throat in the toothbrush?

What's her? she acted paralyzed, but the only thing was paralyzed was her fucking arms. Yeah, it's terrible. Yeah. And then another thing that was disturbing, this is another thing that where he's catching flack because there's a lot of like eating disorder, humor in it that's not funny. And, you know, I do, you know, in my real job,

I deal with a lot of people that are struggling with that. But I know that even besides, it got a lot of flack for that too, because there's a couple jokes that are like, yeah. Okay, it's a little too far here, you know, with this. They went over my head. apparently so yeah well i mean one of them caught him yeah well the girl was throwing up because she was well that's one but then the other the other girl she's like well i'm 12 of course i know how to

throw up you know stuff like that yeah and and and there and there is a lot of young ladies that are struggling with that you know like legit so um but then he but then again he did say that this movie was going to be kind of like that like very much you know device no restrictions you know he's going to do but but then again you asked you said no restrictions, but where was the child murder? I can't think of, I can't. I'm sorry, you got to get a child getting killed. Right.

Killer kids, I'm, I'm waiting for a free-for-all where the uninfected people are just killing the killer kids. And I don't remember that even taking place in the movie. Even Stephen King did it in maximum overdrive. What couldn't this guy do it? But they murdered a bunch of them in kudies. True. Yeah.

That is true. Yeah. In that movie, when Rain Wilson, he doesn't even know what the fuck's really happening. He just sees another teacher get eaten and he's already clothes lining and punching an elbow on kids. Right. I know. It was pretty fantastic. He looks like, like, you ever seen those mascots play football against, against, like, the people kids?

In this movie, you get scenes of them running from with them, the kids. Right. Do we even do a spoiler alert? I mean, I'm going to spoil it right now. So you can put it right here,

the spoiler alert. But the scene where the priest kind of tells the kids what's happening, you could tell that Eli Roth, like, wrote his something to a corner and he didn't know how to explain this wacky backstory. So he just had, for no reason,

they just run into him inside a fucking ice cream truck. And he's just there chilling. Like, there. Literally. There's literally no reason for the priest to have ever told him anything. There's nothing to gain from that from a storyline perspective. But it just tells them that because the audience has to know the backstory. And then at the end, you find out that it was him all along, which makes, when you think about

it makes no sense. And it just, it's not a very good movie, you know. And then he's got the whole Freddie Krueger vibe where it's like he's killing all the parents because of what they did to him and all that stuff many years ago. You think Eli Roth might have gotten done. diddled by a Catholic priest when he was a little, no, I'm not even kidding right now. Do you think it's possible? Maybe he was like an altar boy and who knows? I don't know.

That's a big thing in Boston. That's what I'm saying. It sounds like he's got an axe to grind here. Isn't he Jewish? Is he? I think he's Jewish. I use the bear Jew. I don't know.

No, he is Jewish. Yeah. Rock. We didn't. We didn't get Phil's opinion. It wasn't playing anywhere close to me, so I didn't get a chance. But I heard, it doesn't sound like you missed much. I heard dog shit.

Right. You save 70 minutes. Scores? Hey, that's the only redeeming quality. It was only 70 minutes long, right? It was literally an HBO TV episode. And his filmography, man. And, you know, you've got cabin fever.

hostile and then downhill from there. Those hostile movies haven't really aged that while either. The first was okay. No, the Green Inferno is horrible. I don't like that one at all. Yeah, green inferno is horrible. With the cannibals, because it's not even like a, yeah, no. And then what else is it?

The one movie with Keanu is hilarious. Knock, knock. Oh, yeah, I like knock. I like that movie. Yeah. Oh, I forgot about. He got to fuck Ana de Armas after that, didn't he? No, he married the one that was with her.

Yeah, he married her for a while. All right. But yeah, like it's, he's like got a lot of mediocre. Mets movies. Agreed. Maybe this is not his thing.

So Lance hated Thanksgiving, which was actually a good movie, but he likes this one. No, I don't like it. I don't like it. I enjoyed watching some of the kill scenes. It was just fun.

I don't know. Maybe I was in the mood. My grandkids had been here, like two sets of grandkids two weeks in a row. I was just in the mood for a bunch of killer kids, I guess. Did you take any of them? The eight-year-old wanted to go.

I took my daughter. She thought it was shit. Well, there you go. She said kids do not, she said Kids don't talk that way or act that way. Yeah, her exact thing was somebody, whoever wrote this

thought kids talk like that. Okay, that's perfectly summarized right there. They should have to say grow 27,000 times. I'm almost, I'm almost down to a one on my score at this point, guys. Why don't you, yeah, some of the shoes got on a bat and started welding on these kids. They were like, they were so like light and non-threatening, you know? Yeah, like you could, it's kind of like some of the Chucky stuff, right, where he's choking out a 300-pound person.

Are we in spoilers? Yeah, we have been. Yeah, I think we are spoiled it. Like that, that playground scene when chaos was just breaking down, that's when the kids would have been taken out left and right. Yeah, it was still kind of a fun scene, though. Said that one dude on the little scooter or whatever he was on, the segue. Yeah, so. Apparently, I'm the only one who laughed at that one.

Okay. I'd punt a little kid, man. Would you? Just like Chuckie, huh? If they would have been given those little kids getting, like, tossed around, like, that would have been funny to me. Right. And would have definitely added to it, wouldn't it? And then just have a scene, like, the Matrix where you have, like, all those agent's myths going at one

person, but it'll be a bunch of little people dressed in kids clothes. And you just see them like flying from the screen, you know, that would have been funny. See? I just came up with that. Yeah, I like it. He could have done it with AI. He could have done it with AI. We don't have millions of dollars and we're coming up with better shit.

And if he's going to use AI, fuck him, make them out of AI. He's already going to get shit for it anyway. So that's it. All right. You guys ready? We're ready for scores. I'm, I'm going to, I'm going to go. Two on ten.

Damn, that's higher than I thought you were going to go. I don't like doing the one on 10 because I mean, I don't know. Yeah. If it deserves it, though, it deserves it. I feel like that opening scene with the lady getting her head chopped off, that was worth the two points. That's fair enough. Yeah. Yeah. Brian? Yeah, I'd say two.

Mm. Because I thought the girl, the girl that chopped the head off, they kept going to her. She was probably the best. acting Psychomaniac kid out of all of them and they did nothing with her Yeah, that's true

The Night of the Living Dead girl Night of the Living Dead That's the vibe I got Yeah, I think She looked like the growing the picture Of the famous Night of the Living Dead cover They should have did more with her

Eli thought he was being so fucking clever Right when he did that You guys are going to run into each other one day I hope so And you're going to say I love Thanksgiving. When is Part 2 coming out? That's a lot of Chalo.

Jesus. Thanksgiving, Part 2. Second Helping. Lance, what's your score on this? Two. I'll go two. I'm in the two club. It was a little higher coming in.

That's the sad thing. How many people were in your theater, Lance? When you were by yourself? There were about a dozen of us in there. Oh, wow. That's more than I would think. Okay. Man, the closest one.

playing this movie was like a couple hours away from my house. No, that's not worth it. That's worse than Disney Springs, right? Pedro? Yeah. Well, at least he's driving. You would have been walking for 45 minutes. Oh, yeah, that's true. Which is hard. I still can't believe that. But hey, if it's out there, it exists. Strange things have happened. Lance, when I visit you, and we're going to walk and I'm going to time it. Absolutely. Yeah. Well, remember, though, there's an orange parking garage that I didn't know about when I may that comment. I only knew about the grapefruit and the line parking garages.

Because the parking garage lets you right out at the theater. So see, okay. That's an hour and a half of walking. Like, you can't justify that for a 70-minute movie. Maybe for the Odyssey, right? That's an Odyssey in itself to get back to the car. You're going to go through your own to get there. All right. We'd like to thank you guys for listening to another episode of The Horror Returns. We'd love to hear your feedback and ideas. Go to Thehorrederturns.com or email us at Thehorredterns at gmail.com. Next week, I think it's Dinosaur week, right, guys?

Yeah. So we have Carnosaur? Yeah, that's a classic. Carnosaur 1 or Carnosaur 2, though? I don't know if I've ever seen that. Schlocky poster. Why would we skip one and do two? Okay, good point, good point.

Okay, so Carnosaur and the end of Oak Street. So Pedro, until the horror returns again. Good night.