The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #534: Carnosaur (1993) & The End of Oak Street (2026)

Episode Date: August 21, 2026

It's dinosaur week. Cool of the week includes The Big Lebowski, Lanterns, Reacher, and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Trailers are Crawlers and Beware Boiuna. The podcast spotlight shines on Katie Afraidy. And we get feedback from Shorty Stories, Pat Caruso, Mark Komarzynski, Tim Davis, Arik Schwartz, Steve Carleton, Sam K Steele, Dave Duncan, James Russell, Mickey Yones and Christi Parra. Thanks for listening!     

Regings victims, for those of you who delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify gore, welcome. You have found the place where the horror returns. Listeners beware. This podcast contains major plot spoilers. and the foulest of language. Join us in celebrating the old and the new, the best, and the worst in horror. Welcome back, everyone, to the horror returns.

I'm Lance, and tonight's co-hosts. We got Brian, and we got Philip, and I think that's it, right? Trifecta tonight. We got some. We got you for the second week in a row, Lance. Wonders never cease. Special guest, the host of the show.

That's right. Man, good to be back with you guys. And I don't know. It's good when we have Pedro here, too. It's good when we have Stephen here. It's good when we have Nez here. I wouldn't mind do it with all six every week. Yeah, man.

turns into a thing, but it's fun to chill with the guys. I'm glad we get to do this. Well, you know, Nez, he'll probably, hopefully pop in before the movies, right? We'll see. See if he gives this one a hell of good. Yeah, I know he's seen it. Ness sees everything, Brian, doesn't he? Like I usually sees it today comes out.

I know. I don't think I've ever heard his show when he hasn't seen the newest movie. movie. It's probably either going to fall under Hell of Good or Trash. Yeah, there's not a lot of middle ground. You ever can't tell one way or the other. I'm going to

have to say I'd go with Hella Good. I think so. On this movie trash. Yeah, that's true. It definitely wasn't trash. We'll give him that. Okay. All right, well, who's got Cool of the Week first this week?

I'll jump out there because mine always kind of suck. I don't get to do a whole lot, man. I've got family and kids and chickens and just run around doing shit all its time. And I was trying to force my family to watch this movie with me, but we are ready to sit down in one place. My wife has never seen the whole thing, The Big Lebowski. It's on Netflix. I love that movie.

Really? I've seen it 100 fucking times. And I cannot believe she won't watch it all the way through with me. It drives me crazy. I'm like, I watch your shit all the time. The whole goddamn, what is that show? Let's marry Harry or something like that. Some bullshit dating Netflix reality show.

I've never heard of that one. Are you sure, Phillip? Yeah, they pulled some, one of the guys from like Love Island or some shit. I don't know. I don't know which one of those that he was on. Jesus Christ. Is his name Harry? Yeah.

And so he's got like 20 different chicks there that all sound exactly the same, mind you. Like black, white, Asian, Hispanic, they all sound like a Kardashian. Come on, man. It makes me want to burn that place to the ground. So is that your cool of the week? The Big Lobowski for sure is my cool of the week. I just watched it by myself. I was like, fuck you guys then.

Going bowling. Yeah. sequel, as it were, Brian, did you see that one? The I can't remember. The sequel? Yeah. Yeah, it has the, I can't think of the actor's

name. I can't either. Yeah, that guy. That guy. Eight year old. It wasn't very good. Wasn't very good. But John Goodman's in that

movie coming up with Tom Cruise in it. Digger. Have you all seen the trailer for that yet? Yeah, that looks like a very strange movie. Yeah, I'm not sure what it's about, but... I know. Beyond strange. Just the fact that Tom Cruise is dressed up, goofy, and playing an outlandish character,

I'm like, all right, that'll be worth watching it. Yeah, that's what got me sold is. Really? It seems like a strange role for him to play, so I'm intrigued. I guess I'm intrigued. I mean, I saw John Goodman in. That's what made me think of it because you're talking about Big Lebowski. But I mean, at first I'm like, is this like a cautionary tale about the environment?

Like, is this a global warming type story? But then Tom Cruise, it's like they're making him a hero. But he's like the billionaire, it seems like, that's actually running the oil. Derek and melting the ice caps. And he's going to be the hero. I don't know. I think he was the cause of it. So he needs to be the one to fix it.

Yeah, maybe just a personal adventure story. It'd be cool with that. It might be, man, I don't know. I know they're treating it like it's like a role of a lifetime for him because one of the teasers for the movie wasn't even a teaser. It was like the greatest hits of his film roles. Okay. Huh. I don't know.

I mean, I think he's, I think he's already going to go down as one of the all-time greats. Oh, yeah. But no doubt. Like, he hasn't, he hasn't done anything serious that wasn't like a straight-up action thing in a minute. So this could be a little bit of a venture off the normal path for him. Could be. Yeah. Could be a hit or. could be a big flop.

Yeah, that's true. I don't know. When we saw the trailer last night, the guy behind us, after it ended, he said something like, no way in hell or something like that. Like, I don't think he's sold. So, no, he said, that's a hard, that's a hard no. Like, said it loud. Yeah, I don't know.

I think people, I think people got used to Tom Cruise, just the fact that he does his own stunts, people are looking forward to the next action film he's doing. Yeah. It's either going to be an instant classic or everybody's going to hate it. Yeah. Yes, absolutely. All right, Big Lebowski. What you got, Brian?

Okay, I went to Shutter this week. First up, Nightbourne. Nightborn. I can never think of the actor's name, Ron Weasley. the red-headed kid. Just call it Rod Beasley, man. That is his name.

This movie is equal parts, body horror, motherhood horror, folk horror. Rupert Grant. Yeah, there you go.

So, that sounds interesting, Brian. Yeah, him and his wife have a baby. they move out to his little house out in the middle of nowhere and the baby's born and it looks a little

different. It looks a little off. The mailman. Okay. And he plays the typical oh, he's just different. There's nothing really wrong with him and the mother's trying to tell him there's something wrong with our child and you can probably get us where the movie's going after that. the mother usually knows he fixes the cable

sorry big Lovasky quotes coming out of my ears right now I do recommend this one Lance I think you would like the folk horror aspect of it oh yeah I'll check this out for sure you said it's on shutter yeah

and the next one on shutter is a movie called Hellcat this one's about a lady who wakes up in the back of a trailer. You know one of those kind of trailers you hitch on the back of a truck, like a little motor home type thing. A caravan.

Sure. A caravan. And she can't get out and she, the guy is telling her he can't let her out because she's infected with something. He's taking her to a hospital. Oh, this sounds fascinating.

And the movie takes a turn when you find out what he's telling her she's infected with and it was a turn I didn't see coming. Rabies? Can't tell you. Huh. Because I don't even think it was even in the trailer.

What was it called again? Hellcat. Okay, so we got Hellcat. I'm writing these down because 31 days is coming up. Hellcat and Nightborn? Yeah. Starring Ron Weasley. All right.

Yes. And the third movie is also on Shutter. I don't know if I'm going to say the title correctly. Sackarin? Oh, I saw that one. You watched it? Yeah, the girls in the eating disorders and all that stuff, right? Yeah, she finds out there's a new diet that she can take,

and these pills are actually like the ashes of dead people. Dead people. Yeah, it's kind of creepy. man. We went through a period of eating mummies, so. Yeah, this one's a bit of a slow burn, but I also recommend it because it had some good

body horror in it, and the whole ashes thing comes back on her because she starts seeing things in the background and reflections, and I thought that was pretty cool. And the monster, what did they call her? The, like, real heavyset monster that was

coming after her. I forgot what they called. On Edna or something like that, right? Yeah, because the more she was eating because she was rapidly losing weight, the bigger the ghost was getting. Interesting concept, right, Brian? Yeah. And I'm still watching Ted Lasso.

They're doing a real good job of building up the characters in this new season, which I'm really enjoying. Okay. And, but my cool of the week is going to have to be the first episode of lanterns. Oh, I've heard good things, man. Twist ending. So you can't tell us that. No, really digging deep into the detective angle of the show,

because you got Hal Jordan is the main lantern, and then you got John Stewart, who is like his apprentice training under him. Now are they both We don't see him in more movies Green Lantern. Kind of surprised, huh? John Stewart. Yeah.

Is it a, Brian, is it like they're both on Earth then, right? They're both Earth lanterns? Yeah. Did they go cosmic in? In the first episode? Not yet. Okay. Not yet.

But I like the dynamic because I can't think of the actor that plays Hal Jordan, but he plays like a grizzled, kind of jaded Hal Jordan. Who's not yet ready to give up the ring. He's not yet ready to give up the ring, and he doesn't understand why he's training his newbie. And the guy that plays John Stewart is, you guys ever see that movie, Rebel Ridge on Netflix?

Yes, it's a good movie. the dude got the one that was star warsy no it's uh like a crime action movie the dude was out oh i know what you're talking about his ipod and uh yeah i didn't actually watch it it looked decent though yeah it's got a lot of action he plays john storton he's like the straight by the book

type of guy and he's always wanted to be a lantern and now he's like training under him. He hasn't gotten jaded yet, huh? No. And people are like complaining because he's not, how Jordan's not wearing the suit,

but they kind of explain why he doesn't wear the suit. And it's got a real, like, true detective vibe to it. And like I said, there was a twist at the very end that I didn't see coming. Nathan Philean, Brian. There he is. No, he's a different. That's Guy Gardner.

Oh, okay. I'm all messed up then. Oh, so there's three. Three lanterns? Yeah, they're going to explain because there's like time jump in the first episode. Hmm. Man, I don't know my green lantern lore enough, apparently. He's going to be in the season, Nathan Philly.

Okay One from Superman Uh-huh As like a little guest appearance Yeah That's who I wanted to see Brian

So are they going to try to work this Into the movies like Marvel? Yeah Okay I can't think of the guy Kyle Chandler Chandler

Yeah that's who plays Hal Jordan Yeah The guy from Friday Night Lights Yeah Okay he's in a lot of shit. So far, um, yeah, so far,

the coach? Yeah. Okay, yeah. Yeah, he's like a bit of an asshole in this movie. And it's, it's a fun dynamic between the two. I've heard, I've heard only good things. Yeah. I'm in.

I'm in so far. You can do it, Brian. First episode really, first episode really pulled me. and it's a rated R or TVMA or whatever the fuck it is. As it should be. All right. Maybe I'll check it out. I've always thought the Green Lantern was kind of goofy, man.

Did you? Yeah, I was just never a big DC guy. Like Dawson, but he's like the only DC character I ever really get into. Who? Batman. Oh, Batman. Yeah. You and everybody else, right?

Yeah. but outside of like Batman and Superman I don't really know much about DC Green Laner is kind of goofy Brian you heard it here first yeah they kind of make fun because in a test he gives Hal Jordan the ring

to get himself out of something and then he's just basically what did you come up with and what he comes up with he was like that's the fucking best you can come up with right yeah because it's basically

basically the ring manifests anything they can think of, right? Yeah, so if you got a shitty imagination, you're not going to do well with the ring. Yeah, well, and they didn't help themselves

with the Ryan Reynolds movie. Yeah, with the matchbox card. Yeah. This is definitely not that Hal Jordan. Yeah. It's very far from it. Because he's dropping F bombs and there's a sex scene in this movie or in this TV show.

I did enjoy Nathan Phillyen a lot, though. But I just like him as a person. Yeah. But now I'm thinking about how his character wasn't Superman, does the ring make you an asshole? Well, I don't know. It sounds like the new guys. Okay, so far.

With great power comes great attitude. No, that's it. That's all I got. So I'll go with lanterns. All right. I think you nailed it, Brian. The ring makes you an asshole. Kind of like smegle from the Lord of the Rings, right? Mike Fashes. All right. So let's go back to Ron Weasley. My Cool of the Week is I finished Harry Potter in the Deathly Hallows. The seventh and final book in the Harry Potter series. And these books definitely get darker as they go along.

Like nobody is safe. They kill off pretty much. a lot of the major characters and there's just a lot of a lot of shit going on in the seventh book that like when you're reading the first one it's kind of like almost like a kid a children's book you know but this one's like more more of like not not stephen king there's no f bombs or anything like that but it gets pretty gruesome at time so i don't know if i would say my colloquic is harry potter and the deathly hallows or just i don't know the harry potter series because that's the final one and I've wrapped them up, like it was on the bucket list, you know. So, I've got the boring cool of the week this week, Philip.

That's just like your opinion, man. All right, Brian, we got any headlines? Yeah, I'm trying to pull them up now. Guess we can start with non-horror news. We got our X-Men. Oh, yeah. And everybody's pissed off of Indy Navarady. Again.

Why? What? Because they were saying, and we talked about how they were saying she was selling out joining Marvel. Now they're upset because she's not the X-Men character. They thought she was going to be. Come on. What do they think she was going to be? Mystique.

Oh. Okay. And she is going to be rogue. I mean... I'm happy with the rogue casting. Yeah, me too. I think she can pull it off. Just got to get a gray streak in her hair, you know,

and get that Southern Bell accent down. Yeah, got to get the Southern accent down. That's going to be important. Uh-huh. Yeah, I like it. I like her for any. Mara weaving, confirmed as Emma Frost. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, loving that casting. I was waiting to see her in a Marvel movie. Although I love Samara weaving. We all do, but wasn't. Wasn't Emma Frost a little bit more like plump, like fully developed, if you know what I mean? That is a good point. She had some curves on her. But I'm still not mad at it.

I think we can't pull this off. Well, yeah, you can't be, right? It's our girl. Yeah. I do vividly remember the Emma Frost's Marvel card from when I was about that age. Yeah. That was one of the hobbies. Took it into the bathroom a few times.

did you, Philip? Between her and Shee Hulk and, uh, wow, it's the Vampirella. Vampirella, the head of her. Vampirella. Oh, God.

Ooh, she's bad. I always get those confused, vamporella and, uh, what's the other one? Barbarella. Oh, yeah. Yeah,

I could see that. They're, they're still redoing that one, aren't they? Yeah. Allegedly. In 2038, maybe? Well, whatever they can get money out of.

What's the name is supposed to be Barabella? Sydney Sweeney. Oh, okay. That makes sense. Perfect casting, yeah. Sydney Sweeney, as Emma Frost would make sense. Okay, here we go. Christopher Abbott as Professor X.

Christopher Abbott? Who's that? He was in that movie, Lance, Possessor. I'm not. I'm not. I remember the movie Oh Does he have like a mole

Or something like that? Moor Mole, moly, moly, moly, moly, moly I think so I know who you're talking about I don't know, man Why not? And who?

Why not? Who is he playing? Professor X. Professor X. Is he going to shave his head? I mean, you guys got a fabulous head of hair. I mean.

James McAvoy shaved his head Man this guy is not screaming Professor Xx No he's not We'll see They might have hit a boo-boo with that one I don't know Yeah

Kit Connor is Cyclops Who Some young British actor Hitt Ah Kit Connor I don't know just a good looking guy, you know, I guess, why not? Well, but that makes sense with Cyclops.

I mean, that's sort of what Cyclops is. He doesn't have to be distinguishable. He's just a dude for a mask on. Yeah, he's going to be wearing the eye thing anyway, right? Yeah. Now, this one came out of nowhere. Maya Boyd is Storm. I did not know who she was and I looked her out.

She, this will be her first film role because she is a theater actor. Okay So they're going unknown for a storm Good looking woman Untitled Marvel X. I'm looking these people up on IMDB. Oh my gosh, yeah, she'll pull it off. She's got the look.

Yeah, it doesn't seem like Storm would be a hard one to cast. I mean, you can really, as long as you get like a Gambit right and Wolverine. right. The rest of them, you kind of put whoever you want to in there. Can you? Well, Professor X. I'm still reeling from this.

Yeah. I mean, if he goes down a performance, you know. They said the same thing about James McAvoy. Adam Driver's in this movie? Yeah, that's the final one I'm going to talk about. Adam Driver is Mr. Sinister. Oh. Yeah, why not?

Okay. He's got the face. for Mr. Sinister. Yeah. Yeah, he does. I'm a little tired of seeing him and shit, but I'll go with that. What have you seen him in?

The Star Wars movies, man. That was years ago. I mean, since then, that was a decade ago. I like giving Adam Driver chances. I want to see him in more stuff. I think he could be good. He kind of looks like one of those big weird cats with like the noses.

Don't. I still can't forgive him for the dead don't die. Yeah, that was disappointing. He didn't make it. Yeah, I'm not, I'm not blaming that on him. I guess. I mean, he was playing next to Bill Murray.

I don't know how they fuck that movie up with as much talent as the head. They did. That was the big casting for X-Men. And they're all going to show up in the Avengers movie, or what? No. Okay. They're doing like an X-Men one-off? No, they said the X-Men are going to kick off the next phase, and it's going to be mutant-centric.

Oh, I love that. I just hope we get a good Professor X. I'm really worried. Who's going to be Magneto? We don't know yet? I don't think they're going Magneto in the first movie. Okay, so Mr. Sinister's going to be the big baddie then. Yeah. Have you seen the new Spider-Man? I have not, yes.

AJ was yelling at me yesterday. The theater said, I can't believe you've not been to see that yet. There's huge implications on the Marvel universe and mutants in that movie. Oh, okay. All right. Say no more, please. Although if I get spoiled at this point, it's my fault.

All I say is Peter invents something that puts a target on his back. Mm-hmm. Okay. is it a little dinosaur that came out of a chicken egg? Yes. Born out of a woman. With green goo. Oh, Jesus.

Let's see. Bruce Campbell's officially retired the Ash character. Boo. He said he will not even, because they were going to do an Ash versus Evil Dead or Evil Dead, the animated show. her movie. He's saying he's not even doing the voice work no more. Well, got to respect his choice, I guess.

I don't have to. We'll see if he comes around. I mean, it's cool to kill it for a little while, but, you know, like on his deathbed, I'm going to need to see an old man, Ash. Oh. Yeah, I mean, maybe he's just saying that now, because I think he's going through an illness. right now and maybe he's just kind of tired. That's true.

Understandable. I know he's still doing the damn Hallmark movies. How sure I'll see him this Christmas, Brian. It welcomed the Dairy season two officially greenlit. Oh, I forgot about that show.

I don't know why it took them this long to green lighted. No kidding. No kidding. I was expecting. you say it was coming out. You know, like greenlit. Well, so nobody's even thought about it since then?

This season will be set in 1935. Okay. That speaks to what Pedro was saying last week about HBO takes four and five years between each season. Yeah, they do. Yeah, I mean, I guess as long as they are like coming out with some quality stuff, I'll take quality over quantity. I'm not totally caught up on the dragon one yet but

I've been hearing I've been hearing good things about the new season yeah I'm like halfway through it it's pretty good I haven't even started that one yet yeah I'm so far behind on shit John Carpenter says he's working on the thing too

I don't know man I don't know Brian, what do you think? Brian, what do you think about it? Oh, this is my favorite movie. I think it's a perfect movie. And I think it ended perfectly of not knowing, not knowing the fate of each character,

not knowing the fate of the world. Yeah. I feel like you probably just leave that one alone. Okay. Case in point, Jaws was a perfect movie. Look what they did with the sequels. The Exorcist was a perfect movie. Look what they did with the sequels.

Once you hit too many sequels, leave it alone. It turns into weird shit. You know what I mean? We could have taken, you know, A Nightmare on Elm Street or Bright of the 13th, really seriously. But they came out with so many silly things on it.

Silly things. Like it just sort of, it all gets lumped into the same category instead of going, oh, you know, they were like, you know, in the first one, it was pretty scary. They took that shit seriously. Yeah. Then they were just hamming it up. Yeah. And I guess I'll finish news on a sad point.

We lost a couple of people. Hayden Panetteer and screaming mad George passed away. Screaming Matt George actually passed away in February, but his family wanted to take time before they announce he's an effects artist, makeup effects artists on a lot of movies. Okay. Yeah, sad about

Hayden Penitier. I did I did see a clip of like an older interview of her from like maybe just a couple of years ago or something. And she seemed pretty out of it. Yeah.

Yeah. Was that the one with Jay Shetty? I'm not sure. I also was like a little clip of it and she was like you know words were coming out but they weren't making a whole lot of sense yeah that's really sad it's kind of sad because I know she had gotten clean and there's some questions about her death

because the ex-boyfriend who was an abusive relationship with was there oh boy at the time of her death and there's some things coming up out the way he was acting was kind of weird for someone who had just died. Wasn't he like a hockey player or something? No, I think you're thinking of her ex-husband, who was the boxer.

She was married to Vladimir Klitsko. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I don't know who this guy was. I know. Some puds. Yeah. It's just weird.

She was clean. and then she dies of an overdose and this guy happens to be around. Yeah. Well, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I mean, like, just came out

against Hollywood or some shit. Yeah, with her book. Oh, I guess so. Yeah, she just wrote a book kind of not saying names, but telling stories of her time, especially as a young child actor growing up in Hollywood.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. I've thought about that before. because like when when Logan was very young I was like that is an adorable ass baby I should put him on TV and then I'm like well every single child star out there

is fuck yeah look at freaking Cory Feldman have you seen his concerts lately no yeah shit fucking it's a mess what's her name little clips have been popping up on my social media

feed since the whole Hayden Pantir story came out of Shirley Temple Yeah Allegations of what she went through Oh man she was on speed too right The whole time I think Mm

Yeah, that stuff And if you watch that What's that show on Shutter? Curse, Lance Uh cursed films Yeah They talk

about the actress that I played Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz how she was treated, especially just filming that movie. Yeah, she had a big time drug problem. Drew Barrymore. Dude Barrymore went to rehab as a child. As a child,

yeah. If you have not seen clips of Corey Feldman playing guitar solos, it is must watch TV. We're missing out, huh? Like, because he's been doing this for years. He's still dressing like Michael?

Yeah, sort of. He's still dancing like him, sort of. But then, I mean, you would think he's been up there for like a decade playing the guitar at front of people. You would think just through that experience alone that he would form some sort of talent for it. And it's the worst thing I've ever seen. He's terrible. He's completely... Maybe by design.

Maybe by design, Philip. Maybe that's his stick, you know? I mean, it's got to be how... So bad it's good. People get in front of him and, like, pay to watch this mess. Right. It's really bad. Maybe that's what they're paying to watch.

It's like a train wreck, man. I think that's what they're paying to watch. I think Brian nailed it. But I always have a... a little soft spot in my heart for for Corey Feldman. He's one of the Corrie's.

I think I enjoy watching it. Yeah. Yeah. And Hollywood really fucked them up, both of them. I think that might be all the news. Oh, this is a rumor. Friends of the show, the Saska sisters might be up for directing the next screen movie. Can't be any worse than that last one we got. That'll be interesting.

The Saskas sisters doing a scream movie. All right. I'm totally down. Yeah. Kind of signing their own warrant on that one. It's either going to be awesome or... I guess it's a little bit like getting Rob Zombie to direct a fucking Munster's movie. Hey, don't talk bad about that movie.

Lance liked that movie. I did. I did. I had fun. Yeah. seeing any other news so I think that's it all right on that note uh Brian is Brian is going to bring us the big the small and the very very weird as we take our weekly trip down to the trailer park what's the what's the first one tonight Brian well it looks like

nature horror week on the trailer park we got crawlers brawlers directed by Angel Creepy crawlers Gomez Hernandez starring Matilda Lutz Okay Matilda Lutz Oh she was in a movie Revenge

Oh yeah What you guys think of It looks Uh Looks pretty creepy and crawley We need a good Need a good spider movie You know you gotta have those

of course does look like it's like more scary and less silly so it does doesn't it yeah yeah spiders have never creep me out at all

like I've always like they actually like spiders you know yeah haven't even really been too worried about them or anything like that but those little fucking tiny babies that come out of when you smush one of the eggs on the other hand that come running out of there and there was a

scene in this trailer that like made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Like they hatched out of somebody's wound on the body. Oh yeah, that's gross. I'm looking forward to this one. Is it kind of weird that they were pushing that this is from the producers of John Wick? That's an odd. It is weird. I don't know what to do with that information.

Right. I was like, is there going to be action scenes in this movie or something? Are they going to shoot the spiders? The spider's going to do some gun cata on people. Yeah, they'll count the shots and make sure that they reload the gun every time, just like they do with quick. Keanu was so badass in that movie. Oh, no shit, dude.

This comes out just in time for Halloween, October 16th. And on to our second trailer. Beware of it. Boyona. Bojona. Giant Snake movie. This is directed by Mike P. Nelson. Oh, you like one of his movies, Lance.

Yeah? He did the turn remake. Oh, that guy. Okay. Wrong turn. Wrong turn. Okay. Yeah.

The one with the cult. Yeah. That was good one. Really good. The stars Logan Marshall Green, who is not Tom Hardy. Okay. And Jessica Roth from Happy Death Day. Oh, okay.

What did you guys think of Beware of Boyana? I think kind of the same situation. It looks like they took a snake. You know, you got to have the giant Anaconda snake scary movies, right? And this one looks like it's pretty decent, and they took themselves seriously. Yeah. I mean, there's no Hennifer Lopez, but, uh, no Jack Black. Yeah.

Thank God. That's one of my chickens' names. Jack Black. Hennifer Lopez. Oh, Hennifer Lopez. You get it, Brian? She likes tacos and burritos. Oh, man, as much as spiders don't creep me out and bother me, snakes always have.

So I'm down, I'm down for this one as well. This one also October release, October 2nd. This year, right? Yeah. Okay. Beware, boy, you are now. I think we're going to watch both of these. Yeah, they'll be on my 31.

All right. Looks like a solid creature feature. All right, that's it for the trailers. All right. On to listener feedback. We actually do have some this week. after skipping it for a little bit. Sorry about that, guys.

This week, the podcast spotlight will shine on Katie Afraidy. Katie is Afraidy. What a name. She's upsetting. A horror movie review podcast on the Fangoria Podcast Network, hosted by comedian and horror fan

Katie Hettin'Buy. You broke on us. Does that count as the feedback? Can I win a shirt? Each week she invites she invites guests from the comedy and horror worlds to chat, get off topic, and break down scary. Katie Afraidy. I love the name.

It's awesome. And real quick, I want to shout out, Dead Meat Co. I entered a giveaway. They are a beef jerky company, a horror themed beef jerky company, and I won a halopino and lime creature of the Black Lagoon. I'm not sure if that's the

official name of it, but that was on the packaging. Not bad. I don't think I've ever seen them. They sell them in gas stations and shit. Free beef jerky. I'm not sure. I know they're online. I'm going to order it.

I'm a big beef jerky fan. That's the shirt I'm wearing tonight, Brian. Nice. The creature. So I just wanted to shout out them. Thanks for the giveaway. And everybody go check out. I think it's dead meatco.com.

Dead meat co. All right. All right. Everybody loves beef jerky, right? Yeah, yeah. Man, I'll have to shout to. out the local guy here. I think he sells them online. They're kind of expensive for like a pack of it. But all of you turkey is at this point. But it was sure some amazing ass shit like the homemade stuff.

You always made us stop on the way to Rocklahoma, dude. Oh yeah. Outside of Dallas. Yeah, it wouldies. It's like right in between Houston and Dallas. And they've got some killer jerky. Way better than that Bucky's bullshit. right. All right. Somebody's screaming at me. I'll have no Bucky Slander.

Their jerky sucks. In regards to the ice cream man. Shorty stories shorty story said freaky. Okay. That's quite a review.

Ice cream man's freaky. In regards to the haunting. Pat Caruso says, movie except for when Hansel gets his head knocked off. That always helps. Do remember that scene. Was that that Hansel and Gretel thing? No, he's talking about Owen Wilson.

Owen Wilson. Oh, yeah. Hanselt. He's so hot. In regards to the poster for the new screen movie. Pat Caruso says, decent poster. Too bad, the movie sucked a big one.

Mark Komarzinski says, Love the Blind Dead series, creepy. Uh-huh. Blind Dead series, yeah. The old school, huh? I don't know what Blind Dead is. We should watch some of those. Aren't those Italian, Brian?

I think they are. Yeah, I think so. I've never even heard of it. Pat Crusoe says, How is this legal to do? Freddie gets two movies and we can't get one, Jason Boarie's clip. He's fucking outraged, huh?

Yeah. Well, they get that shit tied up in legal hell forever. I guess. He's getting pretty damn good point. Honestly, I think whoever the first, whether it's Warner Brothers or Paramount, whoever's the first one to get a nightmare

on Elm Street movie out. That's the only one that's going to come out. Yeah. I kind of hope you're right. Even if they make them both? You think they'll just shut it? I think only one's going to come out. Okay.

Because, I mean, isn't Paramount buying Warner Brothers anyways? They're trying to. They keep getting stymied. by the FCC or something, right? Like saying it's going to be a monopoly or whatever? One has the international rights, the other has the domestic rights.

One wants Lee Cronin, who did evil did rise to direct. The other has rights to the original script of West Craven. Okay. Call me stupid, but why don't you just put all those ingredients together? Yeah. Team up. Join forces. Everybody makes money.

Yeah. Make a good one. And then do several sequels, right? Yeah. I mean, if it's a hit. It gets silly. That's true. I mean, people have been

wanting a Freddie Kruger movie since 2010. That's how long it's been. Right. You guys are fighting over who's got what rights. Has it been that? Long, Brian, since Jackie Earl Haley? 2010, Freddie Kruger, 2009 for Jason.

Holy shit. We have been in a desert. Yeah, this seems like an everybody-wins kind of scenario. So we'll see. Although they did make that terrible Childsplay movie with the robot Chucky. Oh, that's the AI. To me, it was terrible. I think I had a case of that that's not my Chucky's going on.

Yeah. All right. And Brian posted a horror showdown. Would you rather face the deadites from Evil Dead or the Centaibites from Hellraiser? Choose your nightmare because either way, survival isn't guaranteed. I'm so disappointed in that poll result. Just one. Oh, who, what one?

So, Tim Davis says he'd rather face the deadites. I'm not smart enough to figure out the puzzle box. And even after death, the Cinnabites still torture you. Good point. Plus, the deadites would at least make me laugh before they get me. Probably, yeah. They seem easier to kill. But there's like an infinite number of them.

Hmm. I don't know, man. That's a tough question. What do you think, right? I might go Cinevites. I think so? My one little pleasure with my pain. As long as they send the hot one.

Yeah, and the puzzle box, actually, to me, according to the movies, doesn't seem hard to figure out. You just kind of randomly move your thumbs around. Yeah, right. Movie magic. What about you, Lance? Oh, I'd rather face the deadites, man. I don't want to have to deal with the cent of eyes.

Like fish hooks ripping my skin apart for eternity? Nah, I don't think so. Yeah, I think deadites. The cinnabites seem very like event horizon-y. Okay. Like travel to hell and come back. Yeah, I could see that, I guess. All right.

In regards to the horror returns logo. Arek Schwartz says Logos nice looks like a metal band logo Yeah, I know, that's why I bought that shirt. It's awesome. It does look like a metal band. In regards to the Friday Night poster, Steve Carlton say, hey, that looks like one of y'all shirts.

Oh, the Fright Night poster, my bad. Fright Night. In regards to Evil Dead Burn behind the scenes, Sam K. Steele says, such a hot dead chick I could not run. He could not run. Well, you know his answer then,

Brian. Death my snoo-s-noo. She was hot. I don't care. Even dead, huh? The one that had the car seat, the headrest stabbed her mouth.

Oh, yeah. Just cover her face up. In regards to, to the, I mean, unless you're into that shit. In regards to the Reggie Bannister picture, Dave Duncan says, Kickass Shotgun, I want to make one. Oh, I forgot about him.

I apologize. Reggie Bannister from Fantasim also passed away. Oh, that's right. That's right. Well, he was old, though, huh? He had Parkinson's, I think. Oh, yeah. I think he was 80, I want to say.

All right. In regards to the sixth sense, Pat Caruso says, not my favorite. Very well made after two to three watches. Always will take unbreakable or signs come back to form with split. I kind of disagree. Me too. I kind of put unbreakable above it. Above split.

or six cents. Oh yeah. Because once you know the twist, it doesn't hit the same on rewatches. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, but I've rewatched it a couple of months ago with AJ, and I still enjoyed it. I mean, it's a super well-acted, developed movie. Yeah, and what's his name, Haley Joe Osmond,

knocks it up the park, especially for that age. Oh, yeah, for sure. He's going to be one of the acting greats. And now he does silly stuff. Like that island where they were raping the women and putting him to sleep. Oh, yeah. Oh, blink twice. Blink twice.

Yeah. He was in some stupid golf movie with Adam Sandler or something. Oh, yeah. The one on Netflix, right? Happy Gilmore, too. Oh, it was Happy Gilmore, too. Yeah. Some stupid golf movie that.

That's right. You get the idea. We get the idea. All right. In regards to the heavy metal poster, James Russell says, You see me now a veteran of a thousand psychic wars. That's a classic. We used to listen to that soundtrack, that heavy metal soundtrack all the time

when we were like stoned and tripping. I think that's the first song on the album. You see me now the veteran of a thousand psychic wars. You never have any of the magazines, Lance? Oh, yeah. Those were great comics, man. Yeah. They kept them behind the counter at the store.

I couldn't buy them when I was a little kid, but when I got a little older and I could read them, yeah, that was really good stuff. Like all kinds of different... Booms in them. Well, I had boobs, but there were all kinds of different, like, artists and writers, like different types of art. stuff and it was just amazing

cool shit uh in regards to weapons mic mickey joan mickey yones micky yones says uh absolute waste of time dog shit movie oh okay that is hot take wow hot take um

in regards to the end of oak street spoiler alert uh i just saw this movie i did not find it very good i thought it was silly Oh, well, everyone's a critic, right? That's pretty straightforward. Although I kind of expected it to be silly. It's dinosaurs. And since we are finally back with feedback,

it's time to announce our winner or winners. About time. For originality and thoughtfulness and capturing the spirit of the podcast, our first winner is Jay Black. Yay! for his email in the first week of the content, of the contest. Very first week.

Yeah. That was a great email. Yeah. Very well thought out, Jay. Man, we appreciate you. Thanks for sticking with us all this time. Yeah, no kidding. Jay, thanks for listening and taking us down a 10-year memory lane.

For consistency and always adding the feedback, it's Pat Caruso. So, Pat, thanks for always commenting on our Facebook page. We appreciate you, buddy. Absolutely. I got to find an applause sound effect or something to put in there. I know. I've been saying for like a decade, just really put a soundboard on here. Yeah, we've got to have a soundboard, man.

Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. We need to get to the chopper. One day. For, let's see, guys, be sure to get us your t-shirt-size, color and style picks ASAP and we'll get them mailed over to you. Just email us at the Hort Returns at gmail.com

and we'll get those out in time for Halloween. Thanks to everyone to join in. I hope you're listening to the show guys. Dims the stipulations. How about that? And if you'd like to help us out, please consider becoming a Patreon patron. Now

it's time to rock out with your dinosaur out. Doesn't quite sound the same. Times did the dinosaur. I went off track at the last second there. We'll start with a carnosaur from 1993. A genetically manipulated and very hungry dinosaur escapes from a bioengineering company and reeks have it on the local desert town.

A security guard and a girl environmentalist. Okay. Try to... I don't think so. so. I don't think so. Both it and the company's doomsday bio weapon.

Director and writer is Adam Simon, also known for Bones and the haunting in Connecticut. Really? Hmm. Okay. Well, on an $850,000 budget, principal photography lasted for

18 days. According to the book, History of Carnosaur, written by Joseph Come on. Director Adam Simon had been told by Corman that the budget would be 5 to 10 million, only to find out that it was actually 500,000 to a million. Less enough.

Corman continually told the press that the budget was still 5 million in order to rope in a larger audience at the box office. Sure. While Diane Ladd appears in this movie, her daughter, Laura Dern, appeared in another dinosaur film, Jurassic Park. The same year?

Oh, yeah, it was in 1993. Ladd admitted she didn't think the script was very good and initially turned it down until her old friend, Roger Corman, sent her a check with an on it. That's where the budget went, I guess.

He backed up the money truck, huh? All right, Lance, you want to start us out on Carnosaur? Yeah, let me get this over with this. This was, to quote, Ness, Trash. This is really fucking bad. Oh, my God. I mean, this character, was he a security guard, though? I thought he was a doctor.

Was he a failed doctor, Brian? Who was this guy? Yeah, that's why they called him Doc. Because he could have been one. Yeah. He had those, those, those, those, those, those corny, all those weird posters. How old was he

supposed to be? That's a great question. Because he looked like he was 40, but he dressed like he was in his early 20s with the leather coat with the hoodie and the striped shirts. Well, yeah, he looked like he was still stuck in the 80s, that's for sure. But yeah,

what a bad idea. I mean, look, obviously, well, maybe not obviously. It feels like they were trying to like capture some of that Jurassic Park audience, right? Like instead of Dino DNA, they had chicken eggs.

Yeah. But it was kind of cool scene. Definitely not the same budget, though. No. It was kind of cool seeing Clint Howard in there, you know, with his foolishness. Yeah, he wasn't in there a whole lot.

He had that one scene at the front where he was talking about chicken shit or whatever, and then he had that scene in the restaurant. And this dude, was he like eating at every seen or what? Like every time you look at this dude, he's shoveling food in his movie. I heard that's this thing in his movies. He's always like eating something. Oh, we'll have to pay attention. That makes sense. His thing is just being the creepy, weird-looking guy. Yeah. Like, I mean, I hate to say that. He's a weird-looking dude. And it works for him.

I just thought it was, like, one thing, for example, so aren't these eggs that they're shipping out from the chicken farm. Don't they go like all over the country? Wouldn't you think? Like they distribute them at other places. Well, it's just so coincidental that not only did a local guy find the eggs that had the green goo in them, but it just happened to be the sheriff. I thought that was kind of, kind of coincidental maybe. But yeah, when you start getting to the part where you've got, you know, women, everybody's getting sick, but the guys, I guess, just get a cold and then get over it or whatever, but then the women, they'll, like, get pregnant with big chicken eggs that have dinosaurs in them, that they force out?

How do they get pregnant? I don't understand. That's a good question, too. Are they implying that, like, the virus impregnates them, Brian? You keep asking me, like, you think I understood this movie. Well, somebody's got to explain this to me. I wasted an hour and a half of them. it. I'm sure the book explained it. The history of Carnosaur? Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I just got the

feeling that Roger Corman probably read Jurassic Park, which came out a few years before the movie, and came up with the idea. And I don't know if he knew Jurassic Park was coming out as a movie, but I suspect he did. Because he's definitely, Corman's always been a flim-flam man, right? like to kind of take advantage of whatever the flavor of the day is and make some money off of it in a super low budget way. But I mean, it's a smart businessman, I guess. But I don't know, this was just not good. And then the chick that was the environment, what's up with these freaking environmentalists? Were they like a cult? Or they were handcuffing themselves to the equipment and then the dinosaur attacks them so they can't get away?

because they're handcuffed. I guess that's kind of clever. They needed a Jay and Silent Bob to help them break out all the monkeys, man. The clit commander. The clit commander. Yeah, I wasn't, I wasn't impressed with this one. This was pretty bad.

Pretty bad. All right. Brian, what did you think? Well, I am a sucker for dinosaur movies. I am too. I do like me some Roger Corman sometimes. Sometimes. Maybe the Fantastic Four.

I am into the So Bad It's Good movie, but Jesus was this movie bad. Yeah, yeah. I didn't know where the plot was going. Right. The characters were so unlikable. I just couldn't keep my eyes on it. the screen. Like the main activist lady. Thrush.

My name's Ann, but my new name is Thrush. Get the fuck out of here. Like I said, I do like a so bad as good movie, but these dinosaur effects were bad. They were out there, huh? Sometimes it was a puppet. Sometimes it was a puppet. Sometimes it was a miniature.

Sometimes it was a guy in a suit. Sometimes it was bad CGI. effects. Yeah. Every time it attacks somebody, it was like it was sort of in the dark

and they'd shake the camera around a whole lot. So you couldn't really get a good look at it. Oh, that's right. That's right. The end scene when he jumps in the heavy machinery to drive it around and he's fighting the dinosaurs.

It's just him like bouncing back and forth. Yeah. In this little mini dozer. It's so dumb. I will pause my review right here because we got somebody joining us.

Which movie are you guys at? Carnosaur. I haven't seen it in a while, so I don't remember. Give us to the cool, the reaper real quick. Reacher, season four is back. Reacher. All right. Awesome. Oh, yeah. I forgot about Reacher. That's a good one.

You got to watch out for him. He's beating fools up in the real world, too. You guys seen that video. Are you serious? Yeah. Some guy got in front of him on his motorcycle. And he beat him down. Well, that's what steroids will do. I sound like he had it coming.

The guy was being, seem to, I don't understand the whole situation because we only got a little piece of it. But it looks like the guy stepped out in the middle of the street and like put his hands on him. Like on purpose. I'm just going to say,

me personally, I wouldn't jump in front of a giant man like that on a motorcycle. I wouldn't step in front of him. Like, why would you be trying to push that dude around? What does the matter with you? I mean, a man that people want to be Batman and plays Jack Reacher. Mm-hmm.

I'm not jumping out to tell him to get off his motorcycle. Batman, huh? That's a giant Batman. That is a giant Batman. Yeah, Reacher's season four, man. Reacher's season four. Oh, they're already up to four. I haven't seen the latest episode.

I watched the first three. You're going to watch that spinoff nose? Of his show? Yeah, the chick that he always gets information from. Is that Black Girl? Yeah. Oh, yeah, I watched that. I like that.

That comes out in September. Oh, okay. Wow, right around the corner. Yeah, so, man, that's about all I've seen other than the main movie. So you don't remember Cardo? well enough. You don't remember the green goo and the eggs when they open them and the... Women giving birth to dinosaur eggs?

What year was this? 93. Yeah, I don't remember. That was a long time ago. Okay. Well, there's nothing more for me to say this movie was bad and not even that's so bad it's good point. Yeah, dog shit.

Nothing redeeming. Yeah. I tried to like it, man. I really did. because it did look like it was going to be one of those silly, so bad that it's good kind of movies where you can, you know, like it has like this endearing quality to it because it's so stupid. But it doesn't really have that either.

It's just kind of bad. Yeah. I kept zoning out. I wasn't even watching anything else. Like I wasn't pulling out my phone or anything. I would just start daydreaming about things. in the middle of the movie. We may have a consensus on the score here.

Yeah. Not a great movie. I'd never heard of it, and I was kind of excited about watching it. I was too. Fated quickly. All right. Scores, Lance.

One. One. Ouch. Brian. I'll go two just because it had Clint Howard in it, but not enough, Clint Howard.

Clint Howard, you make Clint Howard the star of this movie. This movie is a completely different movie. It's a classic, yeah. I saw his name in the opening credits and was like, where is he? The whole time, I was like, am I thinking of the wrong person? You make him the dark character? Yeah. Oh yeah. This movie, at the worst, six out of ten. Yeah.

That's how entertaining the movie would be. All right. Ness? I don't remember it, but I saw it way back in the day. So I'm sure you've seen it. Yeah, I've seen. I mean, if I watched it again, I'll probably remember it. But I, it's been a while.

93. That was a long time ago, boys and girls. Some of you probably weren't even alive when I saw it. This movie has two sequels and two spinoffs. I know. That's what I heard. Wow. All right.

And a book. In a book. Yeah. If Amityville could be like 30 movies deep. I mean, any movie can. That's true. Oh, they're way past 30. I did, I did like the little, the little dinosaur silhouette howling at the, at the moon or whatever after it killed its first people.

That was interesting enough to give it a two, I guess. Okay. Was it better than Velasapester or whatever that shit was? Yeah. No. Ness, I've never finished it. I haven't either.

What we saw. That's all I seen. Yeah, what we saw was enough. Yeah. I mean, there's an audience for it because that one guy was laughing like it was the best movie ever made. Oh, the guy that was slapping his leg,

he was laughing so hard. Yeah. It was totally a plant. They paid him to be there. The director's brother. They're making a sequel to it, too. Yeah. Oh, boy.

Well, I did have an audience. I mean, that one was stupid and silly on purpose. Right. I think that's what takes me out, the stuff that's on purpose. Yeah. Really? Yeah. I mean, it can be done, right?

I don't know that Velasipaster was it, but, you know. I like when people try and still make a bad movie. That Kung Fu movie with one of the Odin. Kirk, I think, is his name. Kung Powell. Kung Powell. I love that movie. That shit.

That's the one where he fights a cow. Yes. Yeah. I love it. I like all his thumb, his thumb movies. Yeah. Oh, that's right. I've forgotten about this.

Yeah, the, the Blair thumb and drinking thumb and all, all titan. or thumb metanic or whatever those crazy ones were. You can be silly and stupid and make it work. Thumb Wars was the best one. All right. On to the end of Oak Street, brand new in 26.

The Platt family bands together to navigate their new surroundings after a cosmic event transports their suburban neighborhood to someplace unknown. Director and writer was David Robert. Mitchell, also known for It Follows. And Oscar Isaac was originally

attached to the project. He later dropped out and was replaced by Ewan McGregor. Okay. Okay. McGregor. Nez, you want to start us out on this one? Yeah, man, this movie was awesome. I loved it. I didn't know.

There you go, Brian. There you go, Brian. I wasn't expected much. I mean, the trailers, the little teaser trailers, that's all I've seen because if you watch a trailer now they put everything in it I mean even one of the best scenes and we'll get to spoilers but I mean I like what's going on there was no rhyme or reason for why this happened it just happened one day I like those type of films but I'm sure they'll get another one to try to explain it I don't know how well this did in the box office but I thought everyone did their jobs you and McGregor he's good Academy Award winner Ann Hathaway. She's amazing. Little kids got on my nerves. I don't like her.

You don't like Ann Hathaway? No. In the movie or in general? I don't like her face. Okay. You don't like Ann Hathaway's face? She can't help that, Brian. I love her. She's gorgeous.

My favorite movie she did was Havoc, if you guys have seen that. Not the one with Batman. I know. I know what you. that one when she was in the hood that one was good I gotta check that out I've heard good things about that

yeah but I mean it was good I liked what was going on it didn't take long for it to kick in once the action starts and everyone's running for their lives I mean that's good and I'm glad it wasn't just that family

because the trailer kind of made it seem like it was just them that went right right back in time or whatever it was like there was like the whole that whole big neighborhood, however many blocks that was. I thought that was cool. I did like the liberties they took for the dinosaur designs.

I mean, everyone knows their dinosaurs. That's not a spoiler. So I don't know what kind of dinosaurs they were. They seemed like they were furry or feathery or something. So I liked all that. And that's pretty much it. I mean, they're just running for their lives. And they're trying to just trying to feel.

figure out what they're doing. But I had questions when the movie at that last scene in the movie, but we'll get there. But yeah, overall, I enjoyed the film. I thought it was good. I like the feathery dinosaurs because I've got chickens and they look like little dinosaurs.

Yeah, don't they say, don't they think birds are descendants of dinosaurs? That would make sense to me. Yep, yep, yep. For what the T-Rex is shaped like, a giant chicken. Or turkey or vulture or something. Terducken. Brian, what do you think?

I actually like this one. Yeah? Kind of surprised me on the way it wound, a little bit more comedic than the trailers left, let it off to believe. I do like the designs on the dinosaurs. I think they are a little bit different than what we've gotten used to seeing in Jurassic Park. the cast

even Anne Hathaway even though I don't like her I thought she was fine in this movie okay the kids were pretty decent and I'm trying to dance around spoilers the explanation

for what was happening was I was with it I got a little lost and I think I had the same question as has we could talk about that later yeah but overall

I enjoyed it there was a death scene that was ruined. Really? Also. Okay. I think it took away from how I was feeling about the movie. Right.

We'll get to that in spoilers. Yeah. That was interesting. Yeah. All right. Lance. Yeah, I really dug this movie too, like a lot. Because I wasn't expecting a whole lot either.

I'm like, I'm like, Ness from the trailers. I thought it was just going to be this one family, right? Like it uprooted the, because we see a lot of movies like that. We've seen some for the podcast where it's like one family trapped in the house or in a bad situation. And it's like super small in scale. But this thing was kind of epic in scale as it turns out. And I don't know. I was okay with the explanation.

Yeah, we'll talk about it at the end, I guess. But I thought it was kind of neat. It wasn't what I thought it was where it was aliens, you know, that were taking like humans and dinosaurs. and other aliens from other planets and putting them in like an ant farm or a zoo. So I didn't quite get it right. But yeah, I was... It still sounds like a cool movie though. I want to see that.

Oh, it's out there somewhere, man. Maybe we'll make it. But I really, I really like the kids. That boy was in that Netflix series Sweettooth. I don't know if y'all have ever seen that. And I was trying to think, where the hell have I seen this kid before? but I don't know. I thought the kids were realistic.

I thought that they're, I thought the things that they said were things that kids would say in that time frame. I didn't think it was a 1982 period piece from the trailer either. I thought it was taking place like in modern times. So that was kind of an interesting twist. Until you and McGregor comes out in those shorts. Yeah, and the fucking tidy whiteys, right? And the socks up to his knees and shit.

And I didn't know until, movie started when this was set. Well, see, that's what I loved about that opening scene, Brian, where it's like that perfect picturesque street. And they're all, yeah, they're doing a block party. And it was like the camera kind of panned away from it. And I thought, this kind of looks like the Barbie movie. And I was thinking, okay, this is like an alternate, alternate dimension thing.

Because people on earth aren't this fucking happy and getting along. But then as the movie progresses, you find out that there's. problems between the husband and the wife that they have to work through. And there were some scenes in here that really got me, you know, kind of going into that third act, where there was a couple of characters that were sort of rediscovering their love for each other. And I've really, that kind of hit home. I really enjoyed those scenes. I thought they were realistic.

I thought that all the actors did a good job. I think they portrayed the way people would really act in that situation. Was it like really far-fetched as far as like you're out there running down a street? and you manage to survive. Yeah, but I mean, you got to have your characters that live through the movie, right, to reach the end of it. Or otherwise, you just don't have a movie. But I think if that really happened, everybody would be fucked in no time. Like, whether you leave the house or not, you know, because they can get in.

But the creature effects were amazing. Like that giant snake creature or whatever it was was super creepy. The dinosaurs, to me, they looked really believable, which was cool. And then they had some like funny scenes in there, you know, like the two dinosaurs together on the house. I wasn't expecting that. I thought that was kind of cool. The kills were brutal and kind of realistic looking, you know. There wasn't like a whole lot of gore, but there were definitely some brutal kills.

I wasn't expecting to have this much fun with a movie and I just had a blast. So I'm super happy with this one. Thanks for picking it, Brian. Yeah, I think I had a pretty good time. It's definitely not making my top 10 of the year list, but it was a fun one to go watch at the theater. It was a fun movie. It was a good time.

Theater movie all the way, right? Yeah. End of summer, fun. It kept it going. The action was there. The story was there. I didn't get bored. I think actually my only gripe is the, well,

The way that they wrapped it up, I thought, was silly. But we'll get there. And, like, silly and kind of lazy, I think. But the... The ASX Machina, huh? Yeah. I'm not sure I liked the way that they wrote some of the characters, though. Like, the...

Why, the little boy was just a big fucking weiner through the whole movie. I mean, not really. Fucking name too. He did, didn't he? He wasn't that much, he wasn't as much of a weiner as the guy from Evil Dead Burn. Yeah, that's true. Well, and the husband didn't.

That's neither here nor there. I enjoy the movie, even with some of the propaganda stuff shoved in there. I just would like to note that all the males were completely feckless, and they had to be saved by the boss babes. Word of the week, kids, feckless. They'll throw that in there, and I just want to note that it's there. Okay, all right. All right.

Scores. Nez, what do you think? I had some issues with the end. I'll give it an eight. Okay. Brian? I also had issues with the ending. I like what they did with the darn.

dinosaurs. The Lance was right. The kills were brutal. I felt like they ramped up as the movie went on. Yeah, that one kill was great. Good timing in it. Yeah. Good pacing.

So I'm at, I'll give it a seven. Okay. I'm in the middle, seven and a half. It might make the top ten. It might. We'll see. Yeah. I really had so much fucking fun with this movie.

It's just, it's not what I was. expecting. I thought it was going to be really small in scale. I didn't realize it was going to be that big and that epic, you know? Well, because it sort of has a similar plot line to that one, that other one, the last house. Okay.

A little bit. I didn't see it. I didn't see yet. Oh, dude. Yeah, this still told me to watch it. I haven't watched it yet. This was so much better. Was it? Yeah. I'm not a fan in the last house.

Not what I was expecting to. This is from David Robert Mitchell. He directed It Follows. Yeah. Oh, which, speaking of It Follows, I'm going to sidetrack us here for a second. Have you seen the previews for Resident Evil? No. No. Yeah, I've seen one of them.

It looks good. It looks good. Ah. Is that this director? I didn't know what it was when they were showing me the preview at first. Zach Krueger. Yeah. Ah, okay. Like stuff started happening and I'm like, what movie is this?

And then when they said it was Resident Eagle at the end, I was like, oh. This guy that reviews stuff, Stony the Great, everybody go follow him. He got to see it early. Mm-hmm. He said if you had any doubts or worries about the movie, don't because it delivers. He couldn't spoil it because it hasn't come out yet. That's good to you. It's going to be awesome.

We're getting a good Resident Evil movie. Cool. But yeah, I'll give this one a solid seven. I had a good time with it. We all recommend it then. Yeah.

All right, spoilers. This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. You've been fucking warned. This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. You've been fucking warned. This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. You've been fucking warned. Speckless.

I just have to say when they brought Ewan McGregor back after his sudden death scene. Yeah. It took me out. It cheapened it, didn't it? It didn't bother me that much

because I had such a fun ride getting there. Yeah. But his death came so sudden Oh, yeah. And that scene with his with his family having to watch and then her, like, yelling at the son. Yeah, I thought she could see what happened to your father.

Yeah, that was a great scene. And it just kind of, when they had an opportunity to bring him back, I was just like, oh, God, you're taking away that moment. Yeah. They ended it like a fucking Simpsons episode so they could start back over with Clean Slate next week, you know? Yeah. There was, I have to say, guys, there was one thing that bothered me. me in this movie.

And like the first time it happened, it wasn't that bad because it was like, remember somebody shot one of the dinosaurs like early on and then it stopped the dinosaur. Okay, it stopped the dinosaur from chasing her for a while, right? And it was on the ground. And then she turns around and runs off instead of doing a fucking double tap. I'm like, what? Really? Well, and you...

What really, what really fucking drove me nuts was when you and McGregor got that fucking big dinosaur down on the ground with that hammer and didn't just beat the fucking brain into a bloody pulp. What are you thinking, I was like,

you got to finish it off. It's fixing to get back up. I don't get that. But otherwise, it didn't bother me as much, Brian. Let's just be happy that you and McGregor's character did something.

Yeah, that's just... He was the only male character in the movie that did anything at all. Wasn't completely factless. Yeah. that poor kid he peed his pants he was just like running away

scared and getting bullied for everything throughout the whole fucking movie he still got bullied after the dinosaurs came and when he ran into his bully and he knocked him out I know that was sort of out of left to I was like what the fuck is this guy doing

I took it as he was holding on that gave him some normalcy yeah I guess so in a chaotic time. And then he kind of came to, you know, he let go of him. It was like, oh, I'm sorry. I don't know what I was doing.

Mm-hmm. But like maybe have the kid who's been a scared little weiner the whole movie redeem himself at the end somehow. Yeah. How many fucking arrows did he shoot and not hitting out a damn one? Right. They all went off the target. Yeah. I was like, oh, bow and arrow.

Okay, he's got something. And then he shoots it like it's a fucking toy with a little. you know, the little suction cup on the end. Those little Star Trek, those little Star Trek phasers they used to have in the 70s with the little discs in them that you shot out.

I did like the explanation about the pocket portals. Yeah, that was interesting. The little time loops that they can go into and it just kind of randomly appears throughout different parts of the neighborhood. I like that. So that's, That's one of the theories on Skinwalker Ranch.

Is that there's some sort of portal black hole thing going on out there. That's why so many anomalies and UFOs and, you know, werewolf sightings and all that shit happen out there. Maybe that's where they got the idea. Maybe. Kind of make sense. Dinosaurs, they fuck like us. Yeah, that was hilarious.

That was what I was saying, that the humor, I like the humor. I like the humor because it just kind of popped in and out and it was a lot more than I expected. She was like, I need you to pose for this picture because no one will believe us. And I like how he just pose with the sledgehammer and smiled. Yeah. And they kept the picture.

See, and so like when they started with that scene, like they popped it up there at first and I was like, oh, okay, that's kind of funny. And then we sort of lingered on it. And I'm like, how long are we going to stay here? A little while. But then actually by the end of that scene, I was like, all right, that was worth it. I thought it was fun.

Well, you know what? Them ordering the pizza and bringing the dad back didn't bother me as much as like at the very end with the TV broadcast and like she saved everybody. And I'm like, when the fuck did she have enough time to make all those phone calls? Well, and I was wondering about the other little girl too because she was like, oh, my parents. And then ran off. And I was like, oh, well, I guess she's fucking dead. Yeah, so how did she get them out and back in time too? I guess she called them.

They didn't have cell phones. Why would they save Mel? This guy said I will shoot your fucking dog. I know, I'd let that guy go. Well, they're better, I guess she's a better person than we are, Brian. Yeah, they did the whole happy ending, wrap everything up in a little boat. Oh, yeah. Little too saccharine, huh?

Yeah, yeah. And it was, it was nice, but it was a little cheese, cheese heavy. I was happy that Starbucks survived. Oh, of course, man. I was like, this dog better not die. Yeah. And then he was gone and I was like, well, that's a wrap on old Starbucks. That's how it looked, wasn't it?

I was a little worried about him when he was fighting the flying thing because they'd already killed off Ewan McGregor. Right. That's what they wanted you to think. Yeah. I was like, oh, they're not going to kill the dog, are they? the Ewan McGregor death was badass though shit I thought they were going to kill the son he was like I'll jump in the portal first and then he timed it wrong and then he hit the ground

that whole portal scene was making me fucking nuts that's good filmmaking man I was like just jump what are you fucking doing just go I know we're yelling at the same time just what are you trying to time it yeah because the other girl that they found she just was like

fuck it I'll go first and jump Yeah, that's what I would have. As soon as you see it, you don't know how long it's going to be there. You got to go. All right, I guess that's a wrap, right? Falls and lands on the ground and breaks his freaking leg because he's feckless. Fecless. Not a whole lot of spoilers, right?

I mean, that's the big one. Yeah, it was pretty straightforward. I mean, they give you, they start with the mystery on whether, happens and then like you said Lance it's a cat and mouse game with them into dinosaurs and then they find out what might be happening because coincidentally the daughter is into science stuff right he has books she's a space nerd the Carl Sagan stuff yeah kind of like the last house yeah that daughter had books I'll check that I'll check it out just for the heck of it yeah long.

Is it? I didn't hate it. It's just they didn't give you no explanations or nothing really to go on. Yeah, like the I think the idea of it is very cool

and it's got some cool moments in it. There's a good movie there. I'm just not sure if that's what they put out. Yeah. Like I wish it was better. All right. But this one was fun.

Good solid. All right. We all recommend it. And we want to thank you guys for listening to another episode of The Horror Returns. You can reach us at The Horror Returns at gmail.com. Send us an email. You can win a t-shirt like J-Dibb. And just go to thehorrorreturns.com. We've re-upped our, what do they call it, Philip, when you own the website, basically,

and nobody can use the name. Domain, right? Oh, yeah. So we re-uped our domain five more years. We'll be around for at least that long. And, oh, next week. That's right. Next week, we've got special guest horror writer Alex Grass.

He did the Northman episode with us. You guys remember that? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The 13th warrior. That's right. That's right. So we're going to be doing Supernatural Realms, The Beyond from 1981,

and Insidious Out of the Further. They're hearing good things about Insighton. It looks creepy. I just saw a preview for it. I heard they're definitely better than the last one and they're kind of back on track with like Phillips said the creepiness. Yeah. Well and that guy are who is the director for the North one? Eggers. Oh, the same guy that did that's doing werewolf. Eggers. Yeah, because he was saying he likes the smell of his own farts. Yes. I remember that pretty vividly. Yeah. I was like, yeah, Nailed it.

Should have him on for the Werewolf episode. I'm sure we will. All right, Philip, until the horror returns again. Good night.