The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #75: Valhalla Rising (2009) & Thor: Ragnarok (2017) (Re-upload)

Episode Date: April 9, 2022

It's Viking week! Thanks for listening! The Horror Returns Website: https://thehorrorreturns.com THR Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thehorrorreturns THR Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thehorrorreturns/ Join THR Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1056143707851246 THR Twitter: https://twitter.com/horror_returns?s=21&t=XKcrrOBZ7mzjwJY0ZJWrGA THR Instagram: https://instagram.com/thehorrorreturns?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= SK8ER Nez Podcast Network https://www.podbean.com/pu/pbblog-p3n57-c4166 ESP Anchor Feed: https://anchor.fm/mac-nez E Society YouTube Channel https://youtube.com/channel/UCliC6x_a7p3kTV_0LC4S10A

victims. For those of you delight and dread, who fantasize about fear, who glorify gore, welcome. You have found the place where the horror returns. Listeners beware. This podcast contains major plot Spoilers and the foulest of language. Join us in celebrating the old and the new, the best, and the worst in horror. Each episode we seek out and review a brand new horror movie or our Viking movie. We seek out for a holler. There you go, perfect. Then we go back and find what, Brian?

Is that what we're moving? Thor Ragnar. Yeah, Thor Ragnarok and Valhalla Rising. Yes. That's probably a terrible Norwegian accent. I'm sure Lars will correct me. All right. You should see the rest of the show like that.

That would be awesome. We do include spoilers for the new film. Was that more German? All right, I'm going to quit one in my head. Oh, man. Okay, well, we'll wait until the very end of the show to spoil the new feature, because we know all of you guys are probably going to check it out if you haven't already. And we'll let you know before we do so with a spoiler alert.

If you guys don't want to hear the spoilers, just turn us off at that point, and we promise you won't miss a thing. We generally assume you guys have seen the classic film, although maybe not this one. Had you guys seen this movie before? Bahá'u Rising? Yeah. No, it's been in my Netflix queue for shit. I don't even know how, as long as it's been on Netflix, I just never got to it.

I've heard of it. I didn't even know it was on Netflix until I started looking for it. And I was like, let me just check. Yeah, it's, I had seen it once before. Ironically, we talked about it a few weeks ago, guys. You just might not have known because I couldn't think of the name of the movie. It was like, I was saying there was only one Nicholas, one named Riffin movie that I actually like, and this was it?

Ah, yeah. This is the one. So, anyway, there's going to be spoilers on that, and we're going to use four-letter words from time to time. That's pretty much it. So if you're new, and we've got at least three new listeners in October, probably more, but at least three that went back and picked up a whole bunch of our other episodes. So we really appreciate that, guys, especially when you're... you go back and listen to some of our old shit,

because we're hoping we're getting progressively better, but we need the feedback for sure, right, Phil? Yeah, and especially you three people. You is kind of, you is smart. I forgot the end of it, so. Oh, I don't know, I'm good enough. I'm smart enough and doggone it. People like me was Stuart Smalley,

but you're referring to some beekeeper movie or something, or am I way off? It sounded good at the time. All right, well, I'm Lance, and with me as always are my co-hosts, Philip and Brian. How's it going, guys? It's going good. It's going terrific. Terrific.

It's going terrific. It's down here in Sunny Galveston, so there are motorcycles everywhere. Sounds awesome. We should have fixed up that Indian that you had, man. Triumph, yeah, I know. Oh, it's a triumph. Okay. I traded it for a kayak.

Okay. Considering you're living in Galveston now, that was probably a good trade. Yeah. Well, that and it didn't run. I'll get another one eventually. Well, we'll start out, as we always do with Cool of the Week. Brian. I did finish Stranger Things, too, which was fucking awesome.

Yeah? And, yeah, did any of you guys finish it? No, I started it, though. Yeah? How far? about it. It looks awesome. Like the first couple of episodes. Oh, okay.

I got three more to go, Brian. Yeah, I want more. I want more now. We're going to have to wait, but it is green lit for seasons three and four. All right. Beautifully shot. I love the music, man. That whole

80s comeback thing. I'm digging it. And another thing I actually caught last night was a creep two. Oh, yeah? Is it on Netflix? I've seen it through other means. It fell in my lap, so.

It is on iTunes and stuff like VOD to rent. But without don't want to spoil it, it's fairly new. So if you like the first one, you'll like this one. Marky Kloss is

a creepy fucking guy. for sure. Well, at least, at least let us know this much. Did it, did it pick up where the other one left off? It references it. Okay. In the beginning. And it leaves it, I'll give this away.

It does leave it open for another one. I mean, it's not really a spoiler. They did say, they always planned on this to be a trilogy. Okay. And he does bring the super weird and creepy like he did in the first one. so definitely I recommend. Yeah, the first one made it to Netflix pretty quickly, so hopefully this one will too. Yeah, I believe, I think they said before the year's over, it will be on Netflix.

Okay, cool. It's not going to take too long. Right. What about you, Phil? Anything worth talking about? I'm caught up on The Walking Dead, so that was pretty cool. Nice. I'm trying to catch up on American Horror Story.

Okay. And for everybody who jumps ship after the first few episodes, it looks like it's getting a lot better. Like, I'm still not quite caught up yet, but they left the whole political thing behind a little bit. And once it gets more into the story, it gets kind of exciting. Yeah. So you're saying I should climb back aboard because that's, I probably jump ship. after the fourth episode. After the fourth one?

Yeah. Yeah, it probably wouldn't hurt to watch maybe another couple more and see if it beats your interest in. Okay. Yeah, this is my favorite season since season two, man.

Oh, okay. Yeah, Asylum was my favorite murder house number two. And then I'm going to say this one's number three, unless it ends really, really shitty, which I don't see happening at this point. and then after that coven and then all the rest just kind of bleed together

is shit for me but yeah man I'm loving it I'm loving it and I'm all caught I will get back on there then yeah not not bad advice man well my cool of the week far and away I saw a lot this week but

far and away my cool of the week was a movie that you guys reviewed a couple weeks ago that I hadn't seen yet that I'd really did not think I was going to like it as much as I did, and that's a happy death day. Really? Oh, dude, I really fucking dug this movie. I don't know if it's going to be top five, but it is going to be an honorable mention.

I just think that they got to be a good time. Yeah, it was a fun time. No, it was a great time. It was just a lot more fun than I was expecting, and I don't know, man. I think that this actress is in for some big stuff, man. She just really, really, I was very impressed with her. acting. I'll put it that way. Yeah, she was, she was definitely one of the bright spots of the movie. Yeah, I loved it. I loved everything about it. There was a kind of a corny throwaway line referencing Groundhog Day toward the very end.

I love that. I love that. I love that. But that's cool. Because, you know, you know why I loved it? Because that's how I feel some, that's what, that's how I feel some time when when people, like she said she didn't know who Bill Murray was. And I'm just like, you know, I don't even know you. right now. I don't even know what's going on. Because, you know, I have that conversation with my wife all the time when I assume she knows something, but she doesn't. And it just blows my mind. Who's Bill Murray? Jesus Christ.

Bill fucking Murray, right? Am I right, guys? Bill fucking Murray. Actually, a little bit better week for the news, but before we get to news, I've got to say, congratulations to the Astros. Yeah. That was probably more of my cool week. I don't know why I didn't say that. Yeah. I definitely was watching it. You know, I was kind of waiting for, I was waiting for one of you guys to say it and nobody said it.

And had to throw it in there and got to say, rest in peace to my Texans, your season's done. Oh, yeah. Well, quarterback, quarterback gone. Quarterback gone, J.J. White gone, merciless gone. Coaches in some controversy. They just can't Stop fucking up. So dedicate this to you guys. Rest and peace. Oh, man. Okay.

Now on to the news. We're going to do our weekly opening weekend roundup for Jigsaw. Jigsaw took number one with 16.2 million. Stateside. Another 9.5 million international with a total of 25.7 with a budget of 10 million. So. All right. Not too bad.

Get ready for the annual saw movies again, right? You know, they were leading up. Yeah, I'm down for it because the last few years we've been getting nothing but crap. Right. And I thought this was a little bit better than crap,

which is probably not saying too much good about the movie. But it was entertaining. Right. Crap litter in it. yeah we'll go with that okay our first news we're going to get into some tv news um amazon and warner brothers are in talks to do a lord of the ring series what yes like retailing the horse or um not a lot of detail was in it but i think possibly a retelling or maybe you know, a little bit before Lord of Ring.

You know, there's a lot of, a lot to the, to the mythos, basically, that you can get into. So I don't know if it's going to be a complete retelling, but they are in talks right now with Amazon. I kind of like that idea. Epic, epic, epic movie or epic story like that that you can put into a series, because then I think you can fit all of the stuff that's supposed to be there back into it. Mm-hmm. Any idea who's going to be casted in it? Just talks right now. It's not for sure that the series is happening, but talks are happening.

Tyrion. No? Yeah. That sizes? No. Jordan Peel is rebooting the Twilight Zone for CBS All Access. Another Twilight Zone reboot. huh?

Yep. Come on, guys. Do something original, man. Seriously? Well, I mean, if Black Mirror is any indication, if he can pull off something like that, you know, I think that'd be cool. Yeah, but Black Mirror, dude, I mean,

that's almost a totally different type of show, though, you know, because it all deals with technology. Twilight Zone is gorgeous, kind of like, you know, little weird stories, which is cool. But do we really need another Twilight Zone? I'm not mad at it Yeah, I watch I'll check it out

But I mean, do we need it? Probably not But I mean I'm It's a good choice to have Jordan Peel Uh huh Yeah That's what makes me go

Oh Okay And they're pushing us on CBA CBS All Access So they're really trying to push this streaming service My channel, huh? I think I'm the only schmuck That's being for that every

Every month, right? frigging CBS. Actually, I heard since Star Trek Discovery came out of their subscription boosted. So you're not the only one. Well, makes sense. On to our next little bit of TV news. Eduardo Sanchez, who did the Blair Witch Project, is developing a TV series out of the Blair Witch Project. What?

And, yeah. And his vision is to have different directors doing each episode. So I don't know if this is going to be like an anthology series or what. But he's trying to turn this whole thing into a TV show. The story of a bunch of bit different people who get lost in the woods. Now that you said that, I was kind of okay with this, but now that you just said that, I don't. want it now. Sounds terrible.

How many times can you get lost? Yeah. I don't see how you could hold a show like that up. Maybe it'll be like different, different witch stories or maybe, maybe they'll take like different real or event, you know, true true event stories or something. I don't know. Yeah. Maybe, uh, hey, maybe they'll, they'll take Denny, Denny with his couple of his buddies every week and go explore a different urban legend, man. Now, that I would definitely watch that.

Oh, I tried that one thing. Ah, damn it. I think it's on Hulu or Amazon or something. It came from a podcast, and they do just a bunch of, like, Oh, Lord. Yeah, lore. I tried to watch it. It's a cool concept, and I like that documentary style that they got going.

Right. It's a little long and kind of disjointed. Ah, okay. Yeah, it's not as good as I wanted it to be. Too bad, man. Too bad. Yeah. And we are going to finish off with a couple of things from movie.

Starry-Eye directors Dennis Weidmire and Kevin Kulch are remaking Stephen King's Pet Cemetery. Well. Okay. Starry-Ey-E is a good movie. Yeah, I enjoyed it. But I don't know anything else they've done. I'm guessing they haven't done anything else you know

Philip which I'm sorry go ahead Brian I was just going to say I'm a little bit bummed because they uh what is his name Andy Mochetti the guy that did a new it movie they asked him if he could pick any other Stephen King movie to remake he said Pet Cemetery Ah they got it out from under him huh? Yeah so

I mean the movie go ahead no i was going to say the only the only question i have about starry eyes is is in the light of Weinstein and kevin spacing all this shit that's going on right now it seems kind of an ironic choice of directors considering what that movie was about i didn't see it

oh you can get the picture you get the idea yeah i think it was satanism instead of uh sex yeah um i'm fine with it i mean I don't know. Pet Cemetery has always been one of his Stephen King movies that I didn't really think needed to be remade.

Remade, right. I think that movie still holds up. Well, give it a chance, man. I mean, they're remaking every other Stephen King story. Why not this one too, you know? Yeah, true. Okay, and to our final bit of news, uh, Quentin Tarantino is,

uh, you brought it up, Lance, uh, the whole, uh, Weinstein situation. going on? Oh, here we go. Oh, no. He is looking for a studio to back his Manson family movie because he's not having it go through Weinstein. Oh, okay. Gotcha. Oh, good. I thought you were going to say there were some accusations to get to him.

I was like, oh. At least none I've heard of. Not yet. Ouch. So, yeah, right now he's looking for a major studio to back his movie, and right now, right now, now there is talks of Leonardo DiCaprio, starring in the movie. Okay.

Shouldn't have too much trouble then. Yeah. Isn't it supposed to be in, like, his 20s or something? Oh, Leonardo DiCaprio. Oh, you mean when all the murders happen? Leo seems a little old for that, huh? Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, there's a lot of rumors of people whose people are playing, so I don't necessarily know. Nothing's confirmed. from like, uh, uh, Quentin Tarantino staple is Brad Pitt

is rumored to be in the movie. I got a better idea. And he's about the right age. Oh, please don't do it. Don't do it. All right. Every movie.

As you were, guys. Although he plays crazy well. He could probably pull that off. Fucking Dane. Uh huh. Yeah, so. It's not a Brian.

Uh, Yeah, that was all the news. I don't know what to say now. All right. Fucking day dawn. Hey, well, on that note, why don't we take that little trip down to the trailer park, boys? Going to bring you the trailer park? Okay.

Hey, you think they have trailer parks in Denmark? I'm sure they do somewhere. Oh, man. I'll tell you what, if we have any listeners in Denmark, let us know. Brian, what's our first new trailer, man? Okay, we're going to start with the very confusing. Primal Rage, Starring Casey, Galadari, Andrew Joseph Montgomery, and others directed by Patrick McGee. Oh, not Patrick Lear, huh?

Our number one listener? If this was directed by him, I would want to know why didn't we get a cameo in it. Right. And honorary producer of the show. Exactly. He said this so much of years. I'll start. I don't know what this movie is.

It looks like a Bigfoot movie, but then it kind of feels like a witch movie. I don't know which one it is. Both, and it's awesome. Yeah, it looks good. It looks fun to me, man. I'm excited about it. I don't know what it's cool. Are they, Philip, you think they're saying that a witch created Bigfoot or something?

I don't know. I think Bigfoot is like a primal man. Like, he's got weapons and shit. Pretty cool. Yeah, did he have arm? Maron? Maybe Bigfoot's a good guy and they're fighting the witch, okay?

That's my theory. That's my running theory. Oh, you know what? I can see that now. They're mistaken him as the bad guy. Yeah. Until the witch gets reduced. Yeah, they're running from

Bigfoot and he's trying to save him. I think you figure it out. That sounds a whole lot better. And I've seen Patrick McGee, this looks like his first directed movie. He's done a lot of special effects for like bigger movies though. Name a couple. Name a couple

of the movies he's worked on. You're going to make me work here. I just close my page. I know he worked, I'm baiting you, man. He worked on a movie called Zombie Strippers. Oh. I think I've seen the cover for that somewhere.

I think I've seen the movie. that's familiar I think I've seen a I think I've seen about 10 minutes of it turned it off right Robert does it have like

is a Jenna Jameson in that probably I know Robert Jameson How can it be bad Let's see He's done special effects on Spider-Man Men in Black Jurassic Park

Alien vs Predator he's done makeup for let's see zombie strippers he's worked on the movie panic room with Jody Foster he's done a lot of special effects and makeup

okay yeah so cool so it looks like no problem in the makeup and special effects department for this movie mm-hmm cool I really, it looks different.

It looks like a different take on Bigfoot. I don't think it'll be like Big Theater release, though. I don't think so either. I hope it is. I think it looks cool. Well, we got some time to wait. Release date is January 26. Ah, okay. But Phillips says we may or may not be able to use our movie pass to see it.

I hope so. It may be a straight to fucking VOD thing. Right. But it is coming out in January. And they do dump a lot of stuff in January and February. Yeah, that's true. Possibly. January 26th release date, right? Yes, sir.

On to our final trailer is Ghost Story starring Bilbo Baggins himself, Martin Freeman. Ah, and also the creepy kid from Black Mirror. Shut up and Alex Lothar Is that his name? Yeah, I don't want to give away that story But he got what he deserved Right

Is that the one we're talking about? Yeah, shut up and dance The one with him and Braun from Game of Thrones Yeah, yeah, he got what he deserved Bastard But yeah, this one's starring Martin Freeman Alex Lothar Jill Halfpenny, directed by Jeremy Dyson and Andy Nyman.

What's it called again? Ghost stories. Ghost stories. Ghost stories. Yeah. Was it found footage? It was kind of hard to tell. You know what? I'm a little confused on this one. Yeah. It's more of a teaser. So. From the story or from the title, ghost stories, it kind of makes it sound like a series.

so I don't know. Okay. And, yeah, not a lot to talk about. I mean, I like Martin Freeman. Yeah, I do too. You know, especially, you know, The Hobbit and, you know, other movies. He's great in Sherlock. Yeah, Fargo, season one, he was really good in.

And that'll get me to tune in because of Martin Freeman. And if it has to do with, like, actual ghost stories and stuff, or just one main ghost story. I'll tune in, but as far as right now, there's no set release date it's supposed to come out sometime next year. So it's probably why it's only a teaser instead of actual full-link trailer.

Gotcha. That makes sense. Hmm. All right. Looks like it's worth the watch to me. Yep. Why not? Like I said, that is our last trailer. All right.

Philip, we got any feedback? The Pandria says, good casting. Denny Louis says Sophia Batella would have also been a good choice. And Justin Smith to Denny says, you can't just give her everything. No, he's got to give Daisy Ridley something, right? Right, Brian? Yeah. Daisy Ridley, Sophia Batella, I'm kind of leaning towards Sophia Bettella. You can give her anything. You wouldn't mind a Sophia Daisy sandwich, though, would you? No, they can do the same scene that she did with what, Charlize Theron and Atomic Blonde.

Oh, there you go. Yeah, that'd be. All right, I got lost there for a second. So Josh Youngblood says, have you guys seen there's a pumpkin head reboot dropping next year? Yeah, and Brian, I wanted you to talk about that a little bit because I think you mentioned it a few weeks ago in the news, if I'm not mistaken. Yeah, it's, oh my gosh, I should have had something pulled up. Is it one you're looking forward to?

Yes, actually, because the guy that's doing it promises it's all going to be practical effects. Oh, yeah, I remember you talking about that. I'm down for that, man. Practical effects are always fun. Right. Okay, it was the rights were purchased by Saw Producer. Oh, my gosh, where's my notes? Now, is this going to have David S. Pumpkins in it by any chance?

Any questions? All right. That's my favorite Saturday Night Live skit from a past couple of years. Peter Block. Okay, there, pull my notes. Peter Block, who's known for a producer on the Saw franchise as Purchased the Rights. And so far, he has said it is due in 2018, and it's, going to heavily rely on practical effects.

Ah, cool. And I am really, really looking forward to it because Pumpkinhead was one of my favorites when I was younger. And in Pumpkinhead, it's all practical effects. So, yeah. Nice to see that. I'm going to harp on that later, too. Yep.

Silence. Oh, okay. I thought I lost you for a second. Silence, for favor. All right. So, regarding Zach Levi's Shazam, Kevin Ness says, I don't know about this, guys. I don't either.

DC needs to concentrate on the next Batman movie and stop with this superhero. No one knows or cares about. But the Sid and Marty Croft Shazam was badass. Oh, come on, Kevin. Sid and Marty Croft. The fuck is he talking about? I have no idea, but I love it.

the sea monster or what the fuck is he saying there was a sit and martycroft shazam i think i think he posted a picture on our page on dude i thought these guys only did like puppets didn't they like uh fucking uh uh hr puffing stuff and sigman and the sea monsters and shit like that or am i thinking of something am i help me out here guys am i thinking of the wrong people yeah i don't i don't know what's going on right now Sid and Marty Croft.

I could have... Shack is the only Shazam I'll have to know. Huh? Oh, wait. What's fine? Zachary Levi. Maybe they do the Shazam puppet show. What are you saying, Brian?

Zachary Levi. I'm finding out more about him. I was kind of worried about his side. The guy is like 6-3-6-4. Oh, Chuck was awesome, dude, but he's just... He's like a dweeb. He's a 6-foot-4 dweebe. is what he is man come on yeah i mean if he's if he's a real actor he can act out of out of character

or you know act in a different care whatever the case may be and him being six three six four right he he he the movies i don't think he's even supposed to come out for like two years so he could put on he could put on the size yeah uh okay so he's gonna he's gonna he's gonna go on the on the on the on the rock uh diet and workout program with him huh yeah because if everybody remember is a look what Hugh Jackman looked like in the first X-Men or Bradley Cooper got fucking huge

or um Chris Evans before he was Captain America that was computer graphics dude no I'm not talking about in the movies before Captain yeah I'm like go go watch that guy was super small like I was worried about him

for example he was the proverbial 98 pound weakling Yeah, for example, Fantastic Four when he was a human torch. Compare him to him Captain American now. Really? He worked out a lot after that role then, huh? And then somebody was telling me Chris Hemsworth was not as big as he was now. Oh, come on. Probably couldn't have been as big as he is now, so he's...

He definitely put on some weight for Thor. Huh. Okay. But my problem isn't them doing a Shazam movie. It's them doing all these villain movies because they just announced a Deathstroke movie with... Right. I heard about that.

Yeah, Joe Maganello. And Shazam's main villain... I don't know. Shazam's main villain is Black Adam who they cast to the Rock as. He's not going to be in this movie because Black Adam's getting his own movie. That's why I have a problem.

Wait a minute. The Rock isn't going to be in the Shazam movie? No. Black Adam will have his own movie. Oh, come on. Somebody at Warner thought it was a good idea. Oh, Jesus Christ. Are you serious?

Pull your shit together, D.C. You know what? This is going to be really interesting in a couple of weeks when we talk about the Justice League, huh? Yeah. Oh, boy. I mean, there's still time to change it if you guys want to cover a different movie that we wish upon. I want to watch it. If it's bad, I don't know.

I'll shit all over it. Yeah, I will too. I'd rather watch Wishapon. I'd rather not. All right, and then regarding Tom Holland's Fright Night Resurrection, Adam Bunch says, I thought he'd be busy with the sequel to Spider-Man. Adam, come on, that's a different Tom Holland. Actor and director.

Oh, yeah, aye. And regarding Rob Zombies 31, Jim Kupka, creepiest villain in the past decade. He must be talking about Brake's character, right? Doomhead? I do, Doomhead. Yeah, I was going to say which one. There's a bunch of them.

Jesse Ballinger says, I want to like this, but I wasn't a fan. It took me a couple times of watching it to really get in it. Uh-huh. Yeah, I enjoyed it from the beginning, but, you know, a lot of people are really down on Rob Zombie, but I'm a fan for the most part. I mean, Halloween 2, even people don't like that. I even liked Halloween 2, you know?

I did too, yeah. I've liked pretty much everything Rob Zombie has done. But he's got his own little thing, you know. He's got a fan base, but they're strong. Sure. So Megan Palmer posted pictures of her as Michael Jackson. So she could call me with Mike. It was pretty awesome.

Danny Luce says Corey Feldman. Fucking Danny. Jesus. Oh, here's one from Lawrence Park. Yeah, he says, happy. Guys, what you up to? I always watch Halloween, the fog, and Prince of Darkness. The night belongs to Carpenter.

Have crazy fun. Wow. Wow. That guy's crazy. Awesome. Regarding casting for dead detectives, Justin Smith says the guy from You're the worst, sign me up. He's hilarious.

I've never seen that show. Have you guys? I've never heard it, but I'll watch it. It's supposed to be pretty good for a sitcom. I think it's on FX or something like that? Yeah. Uh-oh, we got a guess what? somebody came in with the contra code.

Oh, no. Of course. Of course. Up, down, left, right, left right, B-A start. Hopefully you guys got some other correct answers, but I wanted to send in for the fun. Is it B or A.B?

It is, let me double check. Yeah, look it up. It is B.A. Okay, bam. Did he get it right? Yep, that's it. All right, I guess he wins. the digital download, right?

No, it's a Blu-ray. Yeah? It's 976 Evil Blu-ray. And Patrick, I will get your information, and I will get that out to you. Cool. All right, way to go, Patrick. Congrats on winning the Blu-ray, man.

Yeah, that's it for the feedback this week. Thanks to everybody who reaches out to us. As always, you can reach us at our Facebook or pod bean page or you can email us directly at the horror returns at gmail.com or you can leave us an iTunes review please please please do that it helps so much we love to hear from you

let us know what's up everybody and Zach Baxter with the Knights of the Drunk Watch here let's do roll call I'm Zach I'm Kate I'm Crystal I'm Andrew I'm Audie and it's Halloween night Happy Halloween everybody we just finished watching episode 9 of American Horror Story titled Drink the Kool-Lain

Yeah. So, Andrew, let's do... Let's do our ritual. We are the nights of the drug watch. And now our talk begins. All right. K, give us the nuggets. All right, so we can start with the Kool-Aid drinking. Oh, my God. We got a super horrific recap of all the people who have murdered and cult.

Of all the cult suicides. That was a hell of a way to... I mean, like, he's been starting episodes with a punch, the shooting. Yeah. I mean, it's just... It was very... It's dark. Very.

Because these are people who really, this is not fiction. It's fact. But it is American horror story. Those were all American horror stories. That's a American hometown was an American. No, Jonestown was Americans who moved to Guyana, but it was still Americans. Yeah, they were all in. They were all, I mean, I'm sure they brought in some locals every now and then, but it was mostly Americans.

So, so Kai used that story time with his. Literal story time. Yeah, it was a slumber party. We all know. Slumber party. Slumber party with Abercrombie and Fitz retirees. Tell you what.

There were a lot of asses everywhere. A lot of long johns. All matchy white long johns. Very thin, very thin, veiled ass. Oh, it was nice. It gave me asthma. Okay. Continue.

It gave me asthma. So. So he asked them that they would all Anywho, so long story short, let me get to what we're there. Good nuggets. So he brought everybody in. Put a pitch up pitcher.

He put a bucket of, down a bucket. It was in a pot. He brought a pot on a tray with some of the gypsy cup and said, hey, look what I have. That wasn't doing the sliver party. Just to be clear. That was way later. But this is what I'm talking about.

He talked about all of this I'm going to jump around a little bit but he talked about all that and then it wasn't way later it was still at the beginning of the episode About three minutes in Yeah he yeah it was pretty quick Then we switched to Ivy and Allie fighting And then the boys picked him up to do the Puley party

Right was the progression of the episode Yes okay and so he was like Hey ladies he set them all down on the couch He gave them all their cups and he was like But it's not just you everybody gets a cup And then I get a cup I guess my question is, did anyone, do you think anyone knew?

No. No. Okay. The whole point was to root out the people who. It was a power play. Because anyone slipper party, you said, would you cut off your balls for me? Would you die for me? And they are all like, yeah, yeah.

That was the moment for them to all prove that they would do what he asked. I think it was just a good example of how ridiculously, like, into the cult these guys are. It's because he was like, all right, we're going to all do this. We're going to die. We're going to move on to our next forms, and it'll make my Senate run stronger. And then at the end of it, he was like, no, of course we're not going to die. I'm running for this Senate. Like, dead people can't vote.

What do you? Except for Chicago. Yeah, except for Chicago. And so even he was like, this is what we're doing. But obviously it's not rude. Also, I think it's also showing us that he's, again, making everything up as he goes along. There is no plan. So I think that's really good for the defense of Ali.

There isn't an end to the plan. So she could really divert the plan anyway she wants. Well, I think there is an end plan, and I think his plan is to, like, gain as much power. He thinks he's going to become president. Yeah, I think, honestly, that's the ultimate plan is he's going to become president and make the country into his dictatorship. But what Kai is smart about is controlling people. He's not smart about how he does it or how original he is or anything. any of that. So he uses what he sees around him, but he's very good at that. So I do think that

all of this is some kind of plot. I think that these guys are all fodder. I think that he's using them to make the women go crazy. Otherwise, why wouldn't he like be playing up to the women or why wouldn't he be killing them? I think this is all about the women. And also people that he can like persuade easily. Like they, I don't think a lot of these guys have a lot of else going on. They don't have a lot going on. They don't look very smart. Well, they've got a lot going on. Oh, Lord.

Drink, Andrew, drink. Rob's kind of good. Drink. So, I just want to shit on winter for a little bit. She did, like, a whole... Worst babysitter ever. She came in, and she was like, we need to run away. And then she was like, but let me kidnap your son and go to the basement.

Why did she bring him back in the first place? Well, God, but, but Kai was with her. Yeah. That's the problem She didn't like I mean Right She was ready to run

And then they were going to run And then like oh Winter's already picked him up And she wasn't alone So that means that Yeah Kai said let's go pick him up Winter's throwing everybody

Under the damn butts I don't think Winter is I don't think Winter is strong enough To Do anything Kate You just have to ask Kate

Because at the beginning of the episode She's like Fuck my brother I thought he was on my side. Yeah. He killed my brother. I saw him kill him kill him.

She was like hating on Kai. And then in the middle episode, she's doing his bidding again. So she's the wild card. Nobody knows what side she's on. I think she's in the same position that Ali is like purposely putting herself in. It's like you don't want to tell Kai to go fuck off. So as long as Kai has control, like if Kai shows up and says, we're going to go pick up Oz.

Because you have permission to do it. You're not going to say, no, I'm packing. I disagree. I think that Winter is somehow like super-duper weak in that like she just takes on like, oh, she can't help herself. We're running away, we're running away, let's do this.

Oh no, I'm back with Kai. Let's be Kai's bitch. Well, I agree that she's weak, but I don't think she's like with Kai. I think she's like, she's like, she's ducking for cover. I don't think it's even that. I think she will just weigh to whoever is leading.

Whoever's more in power, but that makes her use cool to Allie. Yeah, basically whoever's closest proximity is... But that's good for Ali. Yeah. At the moment right now. Do you think Ali would try to seduce Winter? She just wants to save the road. Not like Porker, but... If Kai has got controlled the situation, he's to save

road. Makes that worse. I don't think she's smart enough to go for the safest road. I don't think she's smart enough to scheme and be like if I do this, I'll be safe. She just does... Kai told me to do this. I'm a do it. She's a follower. Yeah, she's like a straight follower. They're all followers.

Allie isn't anymore. Well, but no, I'm not talking about Ali. She's not a real cult member. They were all followers. I mean, I know. I think winter is kind of like, if they could have taken off at that moment, she would be gone.

But the guys showed up. They took control the situation. So the only thing for her to do is like just to tote the party line again. I think, but I think she was, Reddit them out. I think winter, Reddit out. She said they're running.

Yeah, I think they're planning on doing their... I think Kai would have seen that a mile coming a mile away anyway. I don't think she did because, you know, she was on that couch with a... She threw Beverly under the fucking bus,

real quick. Yeah, that's what she was put on the spot about Beverly. She was on the couch with the rest of them. I think she has no filter and no self-motivation. Bam. I agree. Someone asked her a question. She answers it.

Like, I think we... thing, yeah. I think we've shat enough on her. She's not even that important. Yeah, and I think she's next to die next episode, for sure. So, Allie and Ivy, this switch that they've done, that was awesome. I'm going to talk with

the next two things a little quick, because I think we're most interesting in the last nugget. So Allie and Ivy, they've done this switch where Allie is now in control. We had at the beginning of the episode, I was on her knees. Yeah. Begging for forgiveness.

Weeping. Weeping. in her lap. Yeah. We have this whole, like, switch of strength. Dynamics. It's amazing.

I like the writing. I like what we did there. I think we like it. I don't think there's much to say. Well, I mean, we like it because the writing has been so threadbare on the ground for the last few seasons. Yeah, it really has. And they've given us characters like Allie, who,

like Andrews said, were really fucking annoying in episode one, but then really paid off now at the end, where she grew several pairs. Winter's still equally annoying. Yeah. Well, I think we're going to take... I think winter, like I said, it's next in line. Let's see it be gory.

And then... Yeah. I mean, so that, I mean, she killed... Oh, so good. Thank God. I'm gonna drink for happiness. She's experiencing. I mean, she was killing her.

Yeah. It was like... It was very tight as Andronicus. So good. Just so dramatic and just perfect. I really expected her to be in the Man Witch, like you said. Yeah. I was like, she put that bitch in the Manwitch.

She couldn't have killed Kai right there by poisoning him because she still didn't know where her son was. That's true. Well, I think she probably... Because then we also have our next point, and this is a good segue. Your next point is Oz and Kai, and this whole also switch. Okay. Can we just MVP Oz this episode? Yeah.

He was just the best. He's like, this is not correct. Wait, but stop. But in this previous scene, he was like, yes, daddy, you're my daddy. Right. He might fucking quickly. But that doesn't mean that he's not still going to be Oz. But here's what's interesting about this is he, so we've made all of this fun about like, you know, millennials and the new generation and they don't know anything that's going on and, you know, they don't pay attention or they believe everything. We can look shit up.

But here he is. He's a smart kid that knows, you know, to at least look up facts and be like, no, you're wrong. And here's what's true. Because he is the next generation. That's true. That's true. All those boys that are following. Those are the millennials.

Yeah, but I think there are a different subset of millennial. It's just an interesting. This whole season has been a comment on America and American society, obviously, like, so heavy-handed. I feel like I'm being beaten in the face with it. And I thought that was, like, a fun little thing they threw in there for the youngest generation. That's good. I mean, okay, Kate. And then the last thing is, what is Allie's plan?

Survive. Yeah. Survive. Trying to get her son and get the fuck out of there. Yeah. Well, I think she has to go a step further now. She had to take over the cult? I think she's going to take over the cult here.

March has said that, you know, she's going to take over, she's just trying to get her son out. But she's now, like, that would be one thing, but she's embedded herself. She's created this history of you are the father. This is the Messiah baby. And now we are family and leading this cult together. Well, I mean, that's just to get him, like, to not suspect her.

I don't think that's true. I think that that speech that she made to Ivy about revenge and about what she filled her hole with, I think that counts for Kai as well. I think she wants revenge on Kai because he was also heavily involved in driving her bonkers. So I think that she is literally using her son. What's that true? I don't think she's just trying to like escape with her son or she's trying to or that she's just trying to make sure her son survives all this. I think she's using her son as a way to take over the cult.

I think she's gotten that cold. But then the next question is, does she want the cult? Or does she just want Kai? Yeah, I think she wants to destroy Kai. The best way she knows how. I mean, she could have him arrest or whatever. But instead, she takes away everything that he's built. Well, she's doing what Beverly tried to do, failed at.

I think Beverly's going to help her. You think Beverly isn't exactly the position to help her. No, I think Beverly's broken. I think, yeah, Beverly's lost it. She was the first one to be like, oh, my God, I will drink. I will, I will, I will bet a shot. I will bet a shot. That Beverly's going to help, Allie.

I will take that bet. You're going to counter that bet? Yeah, I don't think so. Oh, shaking. It's real. It's real. Okay, so my question is, so she, she's now the mother of the cult. She's the cult mother.

Yeah. So what does she do now? Like, what is she, did she try to dismember it at the bottom? I mean, maybe she leads them all to their death. Yeah, that's possible. Maybe she makes them drink the Kool-A. Does she get like to the senator? No, like, that's the question.

I honestly can't predict. At this point, I can't even. Oh, come fucking on, man. 25 days of crisis. Stop, stop. So it's not, I think that she will either, I mean, she's either going to take it over to dismal. or she's going to take it over because she becomes the leader.

The leader and also kind of intoxicated by the power and realizes that she's... Well, what better person for Kai, who is who he is to lose to, then, an ex-Snowflake lesbian feminist? Yeah. Who has been to the depths and back. Right. Like, that's his perfect antithesis. She's his perfect nemesis. And she has probably medicated now.

Yeah. And she played him like a fiddle with all that. stuff. And I'm so surprised she knew exactly what to say how to manipulate him. He just like, ate it up, literally. Yeah. I mean, he was just like, I'm on board. This is it. Yeah. Babies. Had babies. So congratulations to Ryan Murphy for successfully putting together nine. Don't fuck it up in the last two, son. Not two, but. But Francis Conroy's coming back. So that's good. But it could also be all about mother's love, though. Which is kind of, it's kind of, I see that glimmer of a mother's love in there. It's not mother, though.

Every season was about a mother's love. Yeah, I guess so in the way. You guys remember being a mommy as a show. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. All right.

So about that internet. Oh, God. Murder house. And it works for Rona. It works for, it works for Coven. It definitely works for Coven. And they were like her children in Freak Show. What is that all about Kevin?

Yeah. Yeah. Well, and her being a mother. The. Countess. Countess was a mother. Yeah. Okay, we're out of time.

So thanks so much for The Horror Returns for letting us be on your podcast, guys. We're so sad that our weeks are coming up to the end. You have two more episodes of American Horror Story. We're so glad to have you. We're so glad to be here. Go check them out at the podcast at Podbean.com backslash the horror returns. They review horror movies and the horror genre altogether.

Or check us out on YouTube at Zach Baxter or Facebook at Zach Baxter. And Andrew? We're the nights of the drunk watch. And now our talk is ended. We'll see you on Sunday, friends. Happy Halloween. Happy Halloween. Let the Christmas carols begin.

Go Astros. So that means now it's time for our featured attractions. In honor of Lars from Denmark, I guess this is pretty much his show tonight. It's officially Viking Week at the Horror Returns. We review the newest Marvel movie, Thor, Ragnarok, and also 2009's Valhalla Rising. As always, we'll start out with trivia for Valhalla Rising. Director was Nicholas Winding Riffin, also known for Drive as well as the Neon Demon. Writers were Nicholas Winning Riffin with Roy Jacobson.

One Eye was a nickname, and anybody who's seen American Gods knows this too, for Odin, who in the Norse legends gave one of his eyes as a sacrifice to the well of mimer to get wisdom. The sacrifice also gave him the power to see hidden things. Now this is weird, guys. During the entire Men of God sequence, the sea is made out of black plastic bags. Really? Huh. That's fucking weird. It's weird. Yeah, I never noticed that. Who came up with that idea? You know, I mean, these guys from Denmark, man, they come up with some weird shit, so who knows? Mads-Mickleson's prosthetic eye is actually modeled on the one that Kirk Douglas wore in the original movie The Vikings from 1958.

So there's some trivia. Valhalla Rising, 2009. Who wants to talk first? I'll go first. Real quick, Rotten Tomato score, 71% with a 49% audience score. I like this. And I think the audience score would have been higher if a lot more people would have seen it. Right. But my review of the movie is I thought this movie was fucking awesome. It was violent.

Not a lot said in the movie, but not a lot needed to be said. Their acting told the story. Mads Mikkelson was a beast in this movie. He was brutal with his kills. Right. And it was beautifully shun. shot. There was so many beautiful shots in this movie, and

I really am mad at myself for just waiting to see this movie this long. It's just been in my queue for forever, and I really enjoy this one. And Mads Mikkelson is starting to be one of my favorite actors. I think I don't think there's anything he's really

been in that I haven't liked. I mean, Casino Royale, Dr. Strange, you know, there's countless other movies. Of course, you know, Hannibal. Yeah. He's kind of an awesome bad guy. But he can also play that anti-hero, that guy you kind of root for, but you're not supposed to.

Yeah. So, and I thought he was just badass in the movie. I thought everyone else did. There was a couple of scenes. I was a little confused of what was going on. So when we get into it, maybe you guys can explain to me. Because there was like a montage. they were, I don't know what was happening.

I don't know if I kind of like blacked out for a second and then. Yeah. Did somebody get raped in this movie? What? I don't remember that. I think he was getting like drowned in the mud. I don't know. There was a lot of stuff.

Was that, okay, the guy getting drowned. Was that the one guy's son? Huh. I'm not sure, man. There was a lot in this movie where I didn't know what the hell was going. on. I'll tell you that right now. I looked away for a second and then I looked up and I'm like, is this guy raping him in the mud? And I was like, what the fuck is going on? Ouch. I know. No, there was a moment because I knew exactly what you were talking about.

When you said it, I was like, oh, yeah, that was, that was slightly awkwardly shot, I think. Yeah. Because he flipped him over and then he laid on top of him. And I thought he started like stacking rocks on him like a fucking jinga tower or something. Yeah, I was like, oh, no way. what's happening. Thankfully, it didn't last long. And it was, Lance,

it was during the montage. Mads-Mickleson character was making that totem thing with the rocks. Yeah, the cairn. I got the impression that the guy was trying to drown him in the mud. Okay. But maybe there was just more going on.

I don't, you know, I guess I might have missed that part. Okay. Maybe, I don't know. Look, I mean, this movie was obviously very surreal. and I mean it was intended to be. So have you guys seen a lot of other films by this director?

I've seen... Go ahead. I've seen Neon Demon. Okay. I've seen Drive. This is a lot like a very violent version of the Neon Demon. A lot of the same themes then? A lot of the same like really slow, really quiet, very cool visually.

but kind of hard to follow. Like, if you, if you, if you like the neon demon, you'll like this one. If you like this one, you might like the neon demon. Right. Actually, I almost like the neon demon a little bit better. Okay. Yeah, the only one I've seen was Drive. So I couldn't necessarily say I have a favorite movie.

I did like Drive. Yeah. But now that I've seen this one, I think I like this one more than, drive. I did watch a little bit of what was it, only God can judge. Only God forgives? Or yeah, there. Which also had Mr. Blade

Blaydrenner 2049 in it. Yeah, and I was bored out of my mind. I shut it all. I tried to watch it twice and shut it up both times. Yeah. See, I got lost in this one a couple of times. Maybe just because it's so

you know, it's got that same thing that Blade Runner had going for it, you know? Like, it's got, uh, the soundtrack is very, uh, like, just ambient noise, like, yeah,

fucking white noise machine. Like, uh, background noise. Yeah, and there's, there's, like, aside from, you know, the cool violent stuff that happens, there's like, there's no talking, really, in the movie to be,

to be, said and then they don't really tell you what happens you just kind of have to figure it the fuck out right i was lost a couple of times and i i nodded off a couple of times because of that whole ambient noise thing dude this was super slow to me like i i i want to like it more than i actually did okay i'm not sure if i'm a fan yeah i am a fan i really this this is the one movie by one winning riffing that I do like. This movie actually reminds me of a Ben Wheatley film a little bit called A Field in England. Have you ever seen that one?

No, I've heard of it though. Yeah, it's very, I could just cop out and say it's very out there. But it's real esoteric. You know, it's kind of, I think a lot of it is your own impressions or interpretations of what's going on. The basic storyline is obvious. You know? I mean, he's basically with a Viking army and he gets captured by, I guess, like a Christian army. Or do I have it backwards? Was he the Christian and he was captured at first by the Vikings? It was kind of hard to tell, wasn't it?

No, I looked it up. He was a pagan, like, slave dude. I don't know who he was captured by. But when he escapes, spoiler alert, he runs into some crusaders. Oh, he runs into the Christians. Oh, yes, yes, that's what happened. And they're trying to get to the Holy Land, but they accidentally end up, I'm assuming in like North America. Or as the boy referred to as hell. Hell, right? Yeah, and a field in England is kind of similar in that it's kind of like you don't really know if what,

it's almost like one of those things where is the story that I'm being told what's really happening, or is the storyteller going slightly mad? and I kind of got that impression with this film it's kind of like he was kind of going insane like when they were passing first of all how did he make salt water drinkable was it that they were inland at that point

like they somehow ended up in a lake or a river yeah because they were and the only reason I know this shit is because I had to look it up because I was so fucking lost but so they got lost in that fog right and when he drank the water and it wasn't saltwater anymore. That's when they knew that they had gone past the ocean and they're now into

freshwater. So now it's got to be close to land. Yeah. He was having a lot of visions too, wasn't he? Yeah. And that leads into what I was going to ask is when they were passing around that gourd and drinking out of that, was that some kind of hallucinogen? Yeah, I think so. I think so. That's what happened in the field in England. They were all eating mushrooms. But didn't he see how he was going to die and that's how it ended?

I thought he seen him at when they got to that water or the beach or whatever and they were surrounded by the natives. The natives, right? Yeah, and they just got the shit. He got the ship

yeah. He had seen that in a vision and that's exactly what happened. Wow. Yeah. Well, see you even caught, see, and I've seen it twice and I didn't even catch that. There's just, this is one of those movies that I think kind of has

layer upon layer and it's one that's worth watching several times but I enjoyed the basic story but more than anything I really loved the cinematography and I thought Mads Mikulsson one eye was just a badass man

Yeah And that was You know I love the brutality of it I love the imagery And sometimes you know There's parts of the story that obviously, Philip, we missed, you know?

And you went back and read about, but I don't think you necessarily have to understand 100% what the director meant as the vision of the story to enjoy it in a case like this, you know? Yeah. Well, yeah, because the ending still doesn't make a ton of sense to me. Right. At that point, I'm like, what was the point of this?

I'm sure there's a message there, but I don't know what it was. I guess they were the outsiders. and they were to be feared and he got fucking killed. You know? Simple as that. I'm assuming they let the boy live. I'd like to see what happened to the boy. Like, was he raised as the natives as one of theirs or something like that?

That would be an interesting. They took in the one guy, didn't they? Did they? The one guy that disappeared. Right. Oh. And then later they found him and he was, you know, painted. Mm-hmm.

So, I mean, I don't know. There's a lot of questions. There's a lot of questions. It's a movie that it deserves a few viewings, for sure. Again, I'll say it's my favorite of this director's films. I mean, at least everything and it made sense, whereas Brian, as you were talking, only God forgives. I mean, the only thing I could tell you about that is it's like,

wasn't his brother raping girls in like an Asian country or something like that? I don't know. I just remember his mom was putting moves on him and it was really weird. and yeah so beyond weird and i think with drive i think it was just overhyped for me and i didn't enjoy it as much as a lot of people told me i should yeah i drive i like i don't love it it's it is what it is so right yeah and then neon demon was like it was kind of just okay it was cool and artsy this was cool and artsy but it was a viking movie which makes it a little bit cooler right but but yeah

I don't know man I still didn't quite get it were you guys ready for scores yep I am going to give this a seven and a half because it was visually it was there for me and Mads Mickelson is a total

badass and this is somebody I am looking forward to watching his movies oh yeah I know some of Mads early work and I love I love the actor. I can't give it more than a five because, like I said, man, I really tried to watch it, and I just did not.

It was so hard to get into. Like, I've got to get kids out of the house and everybody gone so I can watch it without any distractions, I think. So would you at least say you'd give it another fair watch at some point? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll definitely try to watch it again because I, like I said, I want to like it more than I did. It just didn't quite get there for me the first time because it was so out there and so artsy that it was hard to pay attention. Cool. All right. Well, I'll give it a seven. And those seven points basically come from the cinematography.

By the way, it was filmed entirely in Scotland in case you guys were wondering. That looks about right. Yeah, I was reading every single scene was shot in Scotland. Mickelson's acting and the brutality of it. I really got into that, so I'll give it a seven. Nice. All right, you guys ready to move on to the big one? Yep.

All right, our main attraction this week was the brand new entry into the Marvel universe, Thor Ragdarak. We'll start out with trivia. It was directed by Taika Waititi, and he was also known for what we do in the shadows as well as Flight of the Concords. Writers, Eric Pearson, who is known for the Agent Carter television series, Craig Kyle, known for the Iron Man TV animated series,

and Christopher Yost, who is known for the Star Wars Rebels animated TV series. So you got three. TV writers here. According to producer Kevin Feig, this film plays a significant role in setting up Avengers Infinity War. Yes, it does. Not a big surprise to anyone.

Kate Blanchett accepted her role in the movie to please her children who are Marvel Comics fans. Blanchett's eldest son, Dashel John Upton. What a name. Hello, Dashel John Upton. he suggested she take the role saying it would be a career boost so yeah yeah she did it to help

you think so no looking good playing the part though way to go catch it she was as they say rocking it right yeah buddy okay and this is interesting 80% of the dialogue

in the film was improvised in order to create a very loose and collaborative mood among the cast. So Thor Ragnarok, one of the biggest, most anticipated films of the year for sure. We'll be doing another one around mid-December, definitely. When do you guys want to get started first? You want to take this one, Philip? Sure, man.

Yeah, you just got out of it, didn't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I literally just left the theater and, you know, because I live out in the country on the beach now, 20 minutes home. Right. But, uh, um, I, I really enjoyed it, man. I think, uh, I think every one of these Marvel movies needs to pay some sort of stipend to, uh, uh, oh my God, his name escapes me at the moment, Deadpool.

Oh, Ryan Reynolds. Ryan Reynolds, because I, I really think that he's the one that started this, because he was pushing so hard for a Deadpool movie, he's the one that started this whole, uh, comedy. first in these superhero movies. Not taking them too seriously, right? Yeah. And they did that beautifully here. It was

as good as the first Guardians of the Galaxy movie. And I'm not even mad that they ripped off Deadpool and did the comedy thing because it was very funny, man. There was a whole lot of scenes where I literally laughed out loud. I love the

graphics. They had a whole 80s vibe going. Sure. Fucking Led Zeppelin in the soundtrack was kick ass. I loved it. They did it twice. I loved it.

And the only gripe I have, I'm not going to get into spoilers yet, but there was some, that CGI, people jumping through the air in CGI, and they look like fucking Gumby going through the air. That shit drives. How have we not come up with something better than that by now? Now, if that's the scene you're going to go with, man, do something different where the actual person can do it. You know how much more kick-ass that fight scene would have been if you had a real person doing it? And it didn't look like, you know, just straight CGI shit.

Aside from that, though, man, great movie. That was really my only gripe about it. It was funny. It kept my interest the whole time. It was a little bit long, but good movie. I'm right there with you. This movie was funny. It was funny from beginning to end for me.

The action was there. I love the person. Yeah, there was a lot of references in the movie to past movies that I love. There was references to the comics that I love. And I thought everybody was amazing in this. What was her name? Tessa Thompson, who plays Valkyrie. Oh, my God.

That's amazing in this movie. and Jeff Goldblum. Yeah, but he was great. They, yes, they casted Jeff Goldblum and told Jeff Goldblum just to be Jeff Goldblum. And it was fucking amazing. He was hilarious. I can't wait to get, I can't wait to get into spoilers. This, this movie was a lot of fucking fun for me.

Also, I'm pretty sure there was a cowboy reference. I'll get into it in the spoiler, like Dallas Cowboys. I'll get into the spoilers. But I'm pretty sure it was there. And even if. If it wasn't, I'm going to choose to believe that it was. Okay. I mean, how many people can there be named Des, right?

Yeah. I know what you're saying. So, gotcha. Anyway, I went into this, this hike machine expecting a really great movie. I was a little bit, a little bit disappointed, guys. Really? Yeah, it wasn't quite what I was, what I was hoping it would.

be. I don't know. Philip, I did catch you talking about the Zeppelin music. Yeah. I thought it was a little cheesy, man. Oh, Immigrant song is... Immigrant song's great, dude, but I mean,

in the scene that they used it in where he was battling the original demon like at the beginning, I don't know, man. I just kind of thought it was overboard. I would almost say that this movie tried a little too hard with a comedy. It's just my opinion. I mean, I

think they just kind of overdid the jokes a little bit. It almost just kind of seemed like they were, they were really, you know, fishing for laughs a lot. It was really busy. I mean, I love a good, I mean, you guys know I love a good movie where a lot of people come together and make a team. But I don't know, man, for some reason, this particular team just didn't impress me that much, you know?

I mean, you had the, you had the chick. what was she she was part of one of the groups that protected Asgard Valkyry Yeah yeah She was a Valkyry but apparently she was like an alcoholic Valkyry or something like that

And What exactly was that That place A few things kind of just confused me about it What was the place he landed in? We don't want to go spoilers yet do we? I'm going to spoilery Okay

Yeah we'll get there All right, but I don't know why I thought this entire film was going to take place in Asgard. Did it? Or was that another place? Could we say that much now? Yeah, that was another place. You definitely are in some other place. Okay.

I don't know, man. I really wanted to like the movie a lot more than I did. And I guess I need to sit here and not go take another break so I can actually hear you guys talk about it. so you guys can, by the time we're done, I'm sure you guys will both convince me to, you know, up whatever number I'm going to give it. But, I mean, you guys really thought the comedy in this fit in well with the movie? It worked for me. Yeah.

I took, go ahead. Oh, I just, yeah, I thought it was really funny. I loved, I mean, they definitely played up on the jokes, but I kind of knew that coming into it, which helped. Nordians of the Galaxy 2 kind of did the same thing, but they didn't go like straight, okay, this is a comedy movie first,

and we're going to have some cool action shit in it too. But I think that that's the new evolution of the superhero movie. And I felt like they needed to do something with this franchise because I didn't hate the first two ones, but they're not on the top of my list by far. Yeah. And I felt like they needed something fresh. Mm-hmm.

Superhero movies are getting old. They needed to do something. Need to do something different. I, for some reason, even though I love an ensemble cast for the most part, for some reason, with superheroes, the ones I tend to like more involve just the single superhero. Like, for example, I think, Iron Man is probably my favorite of all the superhero movies ever. And I think it might be followed by Wonder Woman. And I think Ant Man was pretty damn good. It was.

And I thought it used comedy really well. But for some reason, it just, I don't know, it just felt like there was too much going on in this. There were too many characters. And it just didn't feel like a Norse God movie for some reason. It felt like something different. And I really didn't like the fact that Thor didn't have his hammer. The haircut didn't bother me that much.

And I know they were trying for something different. But Thor without his hammer, I mean, come on. That's not the Thor I read in the comic books, you know? Well, we get to the reason why he doesn't have his hammer. Okay. Well, you know what? We need to do scores and spoil, don't we? Yeah.

All right. Well, I'll go last, of course. All right. I guess I'm going to go, I'm going to say, I'm going to give it a nine. I'm going to give it a nine and a half because I like it. A lot of people are giving it nine, dude. I like it better than, I think I like it better than the second Guardians of the Galaxy. Oh, you fuck.

And I gave that one a point. pretty high score. Man, I envy you, dude. And our buddy Carl gave it a nine out of ten. Well, you know. I wish I loved it that. You know what? I'm also giving it a nine and a half.

I have one small gripe. It has to do with the villain. And we'll get to that later. But this, this movie was just hitting on every note for me. And I took my seven-year-old with me and we were just having a blast watching this movie. And she's so into the Marvel universe. she was calling out stuff and

I just had fun from beginning to end and I think Philip you said it felt a little too long it didn't it felt fine to me there was no dull points to me they did a good job with that two hour

and ten minute runtime of making it all interesting I just had a four year old in my lap who would not got you man Oh, shit. Sure wish I had seen the movie you guys all did, man, and the rest of the world, because,

man, I give it a four and a half. Oh. It wasn't even, I mean, I'll never see it again. It wasn't even happily. I saw the wrong one. Chris Hemsworth was that one. What did I see? Did you see Thor Ragnarok or did you see, like,

what was the other one, Thor and the Dark World? Oh, wait a minute. I think I might have accidentally gone into the porn, the porno theater accidentally and seen Thor Ragnarcock. Oh. That's what it was. I was trying to think of a boring name for it. Oh, man.

I wish I'd love this movie. All right, so on that note... Or riding cat. All right, on that note, it's time for spoilers. Who's going? This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. You've been fucking warned. This is a motherfucking spoiler alert.

You've been fucking warned. This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. fucking spoiler alert. You've been fucking warned. I'll go, this, you said it was too many characters. I thought everybody was fucking great.

I thought Jeff Goblum almost stole the movie for me. I like his whole intro. Of course, Gobloom was great. Yeah, I like his whole introduction. They had the Willie Wonka music playing and Thor was riding the little corny, dude.

That was fucking corny, dude. I fucking loved it. I know, but it was corny, and then they made fun of it. And I think that that was the way that they were able to do cheese is to be able to turn it comedy, you know? So instead of sitting at the dance and watching something super cheesy and going, what the fuck? You have four going, what the fuck is going? Mm-hmm. And I thought they pulled that off.

And another thing that I really loved that they did in this day, they corrected a flaw there was to this whole cinematic universe. in one of the previous movies. You've seen, what was it? Thanos is his gauntlet, the glove. Yes. You've seen it in one of the Thor movies in where they lock up everything.

And then later, in an end credit scene, Thanos has it. That was always like, but they fixed it. She threw it on the ground and said that's a fake or something, right? Yeah, that's a fake like everything in this room is fake. I love that they fix that problem.

But that leads me to my one gripe and it's a gripe that I've had with almost every Marvel movie is we had another one and done villain and I thought she was great as the villain in this and she

one and done killed gone are you sure this is a comic movie after all yeah but if if if there wasn't one and done they would have brought back to Red Skull who is a fucking great villain and we haven't seen him and I just

I don't know. Other than Loki, they never set up these villains for anything else. Yeah, and Loki's not really a villain. He's just mischievous.

He's, yeah, he's, you know, he can't help himself. He's not a mischief. But I thought, go ahead.

What about the Hulk in this movie? Did you like the Hulk actually trying to have conversations and stuff? I mean, he was funny. Not really.

Yes, I did. I didn't. I didn't. I like, I love the scene where he threw his tantrum because Thor said everybody calls him

the stupid Avenger. Yeah. He goes and like pouts and sits on the bed. Yeah. And I like, I thought it was all funny. Everything with Valkyrie,

I thought she was, I thought her whole story. The reason why she was an alcoholic is because of basically her whole, I don't know what you call him. The whole Valkyrie was killed by Hela and she was the only one that survived. Yes.

She was the only survivor. sure and she she had no place no more and she was just basically this what do they call her scrapper one one four two or something you know she wasn't yeah so i i i want i want more of her like every scene that she was in i loved she like super sexy and nailed the role i loved it she's confirmed for avengers so she'll be in avengers okay well i wouldn't be too surprised if she showed up in Black Panther considering the director of that movie directed her in Creed.

You guys remember her in Creed? Yep, absolutely. Yeah, I forgot that with her. Yeah, man. I mean, yeah, she was kind of, I will agree, she was kind of a bright spot and definitely, you know, I mean, there's no doubt that,

what do they call, Goblin the Grandmaster or something like that? Yeah, which I... Which I hope they keep true to the comics because he is the brother of the collector, which was played by Mnizio Del Toro. Okay, makes sense. Yeah, I mean, I like them, but other than that, I mean, it's like once again, they've got Idris Elba in here, and he didn't really have anything to do. Well, he's trying to get out of this. Blanchett was gorgeous.

I mean, she filled out the costume like nobody's business, and she's probably a great actress, but I just, I've, found her, I found her to be super over the top, like two over the top for me. And the same thing with Carl Urban and this fucking Scottish accent, you know? I mean, this dude was just like, yeah, well, we're in spoilers now, right? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, fuck, dude. I don't know, man.

It just, yeah, I really wanted to like this movie. Maybe I do have to see it again, man. The dude went ham with two M16s from Texas called Des and Troy. so I got to love that character as weasily as he was he did redeem himself yes he did how did you did you guys like the Dr. Strange cameo

not really I thought it was out of play it felt forced to me yeah it was a little forced and he was kind of a little too all powerful at this point right but I thought it worked I mean they're setting up Avengers, so I can see where they're going to that.

Getting into this after credit scene, did you guys understand what was going on? Did you guys, okay, first of all, let me ask, did you guys see the bootleg Avengers three trailer? No. Okay. In the beginning of that trailer is Thor floating through space, and he lands on the windshield of the Guardians of the galaxy ship. They wipe the windshield and say that fly off the windshield.

whatever. I've heard it described, but I haven't Yeah, so this end credit scene is alluding to that ship is Thanos's ship. Ah, interesting. That's what I expected. Which I really wanted the end credit scene to be the trailer

for Avengers 3. Probably should have been. Yeah, everybody knows about it anyway, right? Yeah, I don't, the rumor is they're saving it for Star Wars, so. Oh, okay. but yeah overall I had fun with it my me and my daughter were cracking up at all the jokes

I thought the action was good I like the I like they changed the look of Thor because I read that Chris Hemsworth was pushing for them to do that because he wanted something he wanted that he wanted something fresh for this franchise I heard about that as well so I'm I like I like the eye patch now yeah and him and lands him yeah him losing his his hammer was basically, they had to see him where Oden was telling him, that's not where his power came from. I remember that. That's not his true power. He will get his hammer back.

Okay. I know that for a fact. Hmm. Interesting. Okay. Well, I'm really glad you guys all loved it, man. And all of our listeners loved it. You know, people are sending in their reviews and stuff.

So, you know, I'm in the minority. What do you expect from a guy that likes Dane DeHon movies, right? somebody's got to go against the grain yeah you know our next one you know I can completely hate it

and you both can just you know completely love it you know that's that that's the beauty of doing this show we don't always have to agree

but we just get our I can see where you're coming from because everything was was very over the top and cheesy and the way that they

made that work like I said was with the comedy And so, you know, I mean, for some people, I guess that doesn't work, but I love comedy movies anyway. So I was down with it. That scene, that first scene where he's spinning around and talking to the big demon thing and getting him to, like, spill his plot like a fucking James Bond movie. And he stopped him when he was spinning the wrong way. He's like, wait.

All right. I'm going back around. I love it. Probably should have did this in my room. review. It's doing good. Rotten Tomatoes 94. Wow. Audience score 89. Holy shit. Well, I'm definitely

in the minority on this one. Oh, yeah. Was your guys theater packed? Mine wasn't, but I went during the middle of the day, so, you know. Yeah. I went to try to do. I went Thursday night, and they had lines set up for each of the theaters

they were showing. Yeah. I didn't expect mine to be too packed, because like I said, I mean, it's bike week. this weekend. So there's a thousand bikers in Galveston all getting drunk at the bar down the road. Cool. Sounds like fun. Yeah. All right.

Well, I know we don't have any sponsors yet for our podcast here, but way too fledgling for that. But I do want to give a quick shout out to movie pass. Yes. I think you know what I'm talking about here. Philip, you about to jump on board or what? Yes, sir, absolutely, because I found out that my movie. the theater does accept it. And I'll get a shout out to Miller Light

because it doesn't hurt to try. All right, cool. So, as always, listeners, we want to thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of the horror returns. We would absolutely, as Philip will tell you, love to hear your feedback. And as Brian will tell you, we want to hear your ideas.

Absolutely. You can always reach us at the horror returns at gmail.com. Be sure to follow us on Facebook. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Podbean. Just do a search for the horror returns. Also look for coosies coming out. So I think I did decide we're going to print some up for Frightmare. So if you don't like T-shirts, give us an iTunes review.

Maybe you can get a coozy for your beer. And if you do check us out on iTunes, please do what, Philip? Leave us a review, five stars preferably. Hell yeah. So do you guys know what's coming up next week or is it a mystery to you? I think I might have solved that one. Oh, yeah? I think we're doing murder on the Orient Express.

Yes. And I might have a clue as to the first movie we're going to cover. Okay. So on that note. So that I don't bring the... Oh, I get it. You had me for a second. Hey, Philip, please stop.

I'm a little slow. Stop me from bringing the show down anymore and tell us what's going to happen until the horror returns again. It's cold. Cold wind. Boo the night.