The Horror Returns - THR - Ep. #88: Thir13en Ghosts (2001) & Winchester (2018) (Re-upload)

Episode Date: August 16, 2022

This week we get haunted. Thanks for listening! The Horror Returns Website: https://thehorrorreturns.com THR Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thehorrorreturns THR Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thehorrorreturns/ Join THR Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1056143707851246 THR Twitter: https://twitter.com/horror_returns?s=21&t=XKcrrOBZ7mzjwJY0ZJWrGA THR Instagram: https://instagram.com/thehorrorreturns?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= SK8ER Nez Podcast Network https://www.podbean.com/pu/pbblog-p3n57-c4166 ESP Anchor Feed: https://anchor.fm/mac-nez E Society YouTube Channel https://youtube.com/channel/UCliC6x_a7p3kTV_0LC4S10A Music By: Steve Carleton Of The Geekz

victims. For those of you delight and dread who fantasize about fear who glorify go. Welcome.

You have found the place where the horror returns. Listeners beware this podcast contains major plot spoilers in the foulest of language.

Join us in celebrating the old and the new, the best, and the worst in horror. For all of you who delight and dread, fantasize about fear and glorify gore, welcome home. This is the podcast that proves the horror never ends. Each episode we seek out and review a brand new horror movie. And this week we're actually doing that, right, Brian? Yes, we are Although The scare factor might be

Well I guess I guess we'll talk about that, huh? We'll get there Since we're already off the rails What else do we do, Brian, on this show? Do a little bit of cool little week You want to start with that?

Yeah, we can jump into that Quick warning We're going to use some four-letter words and all right into Cool of the week what's you got right yeah because we have a shitload of trailers to talk

about don't we? I guess I'll start with Cool Little Week again trying to keep up with everything current I checked out keep watching we reviewed this trailer a little while back a little home Bell of Thorne right?

Yeah I don't even remember that yeah nothing nothing new nothing exciting Okay. That doesn't even pop up on my radar. Lance, you'll probably enjoy it because it has Bella Thorne in it.

Well, yeah. But also checked out Victor Crowley. Oh, cool. You watched all the Hatchet movies again, right? Yeah, I am a fan of the Hatchet movies, but I'm a little underwhelmed by this movie. Yeah, I really didn't want to hear that. that butt in there.

It took probably about an hour before anything really happened. Really? Yeah, it started out really strong. It started off with a flashback. And you know, I mean, the blood and gore is there. And, you know, of course, the comedy. But after like the first 10 minutes, you're waiting for another hour before something would happen.

And, um, yeah. Sound like that movie at all. No, it's not. They did leave it open for another sequel. Of course. Yeah, compared to the first three, it was a little underwhelming. So did Adam Green direct this, or who was the director? Yeah, he did.

Okay. I like the first one, man. I really enjoyed the, I don't know, I just really enjoyed the intro part where they're on Bourbon Street in New Orleans. And they showed the one dude sitting there puking, wearing all the beach and stuff. and they go into the fucking voodoo voodoo shop and Tony Todd is in there?

Yeah, of course he is. And that's actually a real voodoo shop, Reverend Zombies, like right off Bourbon Street. But unfortunately, I went in there and I was looking for Tony Todd and I didn't see him. Oh, bullshit.

You know he works there. It was just his night off. But I like this one, man. Yeah, uh, yeah, I think that's, pretty much all I checked out. All right.

Well, uh, you get, you guys know I got into altered carbon, of course, right? As much as I talked about it last week. How was it? Um, two episodes in. I'm fucking loving it, man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I also checked up the first two episodes. Yeah. I, I, I thought you had. What are you, what are you thinking, Brian? Oh, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm totally in right now. It's just, it looks super fucking cool. You know, it's real science.

fictiony. Yeah, I really wanted to watch it. I've seen someone commented it in the Facebook group that they just fucking hate it. Oh, Jesse? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he was kind of like it ripped off Blade Runner, but I don't think it ripped off

Blade Runner. I just think it's kind of like set in the same basic universe. If you're going to have, let me put it to this way, if you're in the future and you're going to have the technology to make what do they call them in Blade Runner's skins? skin jobs? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, if you can create skin jobs, why can't you create sleeves too, you know? Yeah. I mean, there's no reason both technologies can exist in the same future. Yeah. Sounds super kinky. Yeah, I actually kind of think that it's inevitable. If we survive as a species,

we don't kill ourselves through nuclear war or global warming, I honestly think there's no way for us not to have both Androids with human consciousness inside of them, as well as AI, which they touch on that in the show as well. I don't want to spoil anything yet. It's too early. Hey, we already got sex robots going. Oh, that's there. Absolutely.

Why not? They're almost there, man. I'm telling you. Well, I mean, for them to create clones and put your stack in it, like your memories and stuff like that so you can continue to live in a younger body, it's inevitable. It is going to happen, period. And sooner than you think. Walt Disney's coming back. Preach it, brother.

All right, enough. What was your cool of the week, Philip? Man, I actually, I tried to watch that, and my wife got mad at me. She was like, why do we always have to watch your shows? I want to watch my show. So instead of that, we watched, what is it called? December's Bone.

it's with the girl from Hunger Games Wait a minute, you mean Winter's Bone? Winter's Bone. Winter's Bone. Jennifer Lawrence. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mother herself. Yeah, exactly. And I kept wanting to say Mother's Bone.

I keep forgetting what the fuck the name. Because Winter's Bone is a dumbass name for a movie. I'm sorry. But the movie was actually really good. Yeah? Yeah, it's, I don't know if you guys have seen it. I think she got nominated for an Oscar for it. But it's set in like,

gee, somewhere out in the middle of the country where they produce a lot of meth. Because it's in that whole world. I've seen that and her father is missing. Yeah, her father is a big time meth cooker. And he's out on bail, but he's bet the family property.

He put it up for his bail. and then jump bailin, nobody can find him. And it's his 17-year-old daughter. It's her responsibility to find him and take care of the family and do all this stuff. And that's Jennifer Lawrence, and she did an outstanding job, man. It was a really good movie. Kind of anti-climactic at the end, but definitely worth the watch. It's definitely got that Oscar feel, you know, really, really dramatic.

But it was fun. I enjoyed it. Kind of had an indie movie ending show, right? Where it didn't really quite, you know, have a big finale or anything like that. Right, no, it was kind of like some, maybe some real life stuff. That very well could be a true story somewhere. Right. Well, my other cool of the week is I've got my next tattoo planned out.

Oh, yeah? Yeah, and it's actually not Star Trek, Brian. Can you believe that? Wow. So if you, well, if you look at it. name? No, I changed my mind, man. Instead of a trek, I'm going to do, if you has ever seen the poster for Speaking of Mother, you have seen the poster for that movie where it has Jennifer Lawrence and the front of her chest is cut open and she's holding her

heart out with her hands. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's all the really strange flowers around and stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah, I'm actually going to do a sleeve of that, but with, uh, with only the hands with the heart in it and all the flowers going all the way around my arm. Oh, wow. So, uh, might take a couple of visits to get that all done, but that's, that's the next tattoo, guys. Wow. Nice.

Yeah. That movie just really hit me, you know? Yeah. Speaking of Mother, did you, uh, how do you feel about it getting nominated for Razzie's? Really? Yep. Yeah. I heard about that.

And it doesn't surprise me in the least. I mean, there's so many people that hated it. know. Our buddy, Art, I don't think he was a huge fan of it. No. He was not. And again, he didn't like The Last Jedi either, so what is he? Yeah, exactly.

A lot of them didn't like Last Jedi either. It was another one of those divisive movies last year where he either liked it or he hated it. Oh, our buddy Don Nelly from the Horror Mafia podcast, fucking hated it. but everybody else on the show with him loved it so yeah who knows man it's that's kind of that's part of the mystique for me that's another reason i'm getting the tattoo is because it is so polarizing you know i i just love that it's like uh the only other movie i would i would probably get a tattoo is uh clockwork orange and that's probably going to happen too you know and a lot of people hated that and uh true came out there was a

big uprising against it and it was X-rated and oh how dare you show this but you know it is what it is guys damn the man so Brian we got any horror headlines man F Gary Gray is going to do the next men in black there's another one I like I like that choice though

F Gary Gray has done some damn good movies leave it along starting a new franchise this will not star Will Smith or Tommy Lee Jones Of course it's not. Because they are way past that shit. No, nobody's casted yet.

So far, he's just in talks of the direct. I thought it was just a little different for especially him, because, you know, he's coming off of straight out of Compton and he did the last Fast and Furious movie. Right. So jumping into science fiction comedy, action adventure movie.

I guess that's what you can call them. That's a lot of questions. I mean, that horse was dead a long time ago. I don't know why they keep trying to ride it, but maybe he can breathe some life back into it. Yeah, if anybody can pull it off, he can. Yeah.

I mean, a lot's going to depend on who they cast to play the men in black, you know? Yeah, they got some big shoes to fill, so. Right. I mean, Dane DeHan will be one. Of course. Yeah, I'm sure he's available. That dude from Atlanta, I'd watch him.

Oh, Han Solo? No. Which is the first of Atlanta, dude? The black dude from Atlanta. Childish kid. Brian, do you realize what Philip just said? Yeah. I was going to name off the whole cast.

He said the black from a predominant. You know who I mean. Donald Glover. Yeah. Yeah, he's not hot solo. He's, uh, Lando. I fucked you. Oh, okay, okay, I got you.

Yeah, that got, that guy's busy. Yeah, that's true. Hey, super busy. Uh, let's see. Lance, I think you showed interest in this when I posted it. Jim Parsons. Uh, we'll join Zach Efron in the Ted Bundy movie. Hey, man.

That's like the two most different guys in the world, right? I really want to watch it. it's crazy it's gonna be so bad but i want to watch it's gonna be so bad this movie is titled extremely wicked shockingly shockingly evil and vile well that like i said it's gonna be really bad but i still want to watch it well as my wife would tell you zach afron is my man crush so if anybody can pull it off he can that's true he's not that bad shit i just wish i had the the discipline he does to fucking take care of my body like that, you know? I don't think a lot of people do.

Yeah, definitely not the norm. Let's see. Our last thing, we talked a little bit of Cloverfield last week. Sources have come out and said Julius Avery's World War II horror movie Overlord is going to be the fourth installment in the Cloverfield series. Makes no sense. Wait, what? Yeah, there was a World War II horror movie

that J.J. Abrams was producing, that this guy Julius Avery was directing. And there was a lot of rumors that it was going to be in the Cloverfield universe. And I guess now it's confirmed that it's going to be the fourth movie. And it is...

Why? I guess they've had this mapped out. I don't know. It's all a little strange, especially we talked about last week with the whole third movie, possibly going to Netflix. This is the weirdest franchise.

Like, nothing they do makes any sense. Cloverfield was a great movie. They should have just built on that and just done the next movie after that, you know? Yeah, I like Toad. I like Toch. fucking 40s, you know?

Yeah, I like 10 Cloverfield Lane, though. Yeah, it wasn't bad. I liked it for what it was, but it didn't have to be a Cloverfield movie. Right. It didn't have to be a Cloverfield movie, and it wasn't

that awesome. You know what I mean? Like, I remember it vaguely, but not a lot. I mean, I guess, you know, for me, you know,

I'm a whole judgment until I see a trail. I mean, we haven't even seen a trailer for the third one, and that's supposedly done. So it looks like we got a Cloverfield movie in space And now a Cloverfield movie set in World War II Cloverfield Western That'll probably be the fifth movie

Yeah, super big aliens and cowboys, right? There you go That actually was a Cloverfield movie It was just a code name you didn't know Yeah, they love their code names though Overlord is scheduled for October 26th this year. Man, it's even taking up a Halloween time slot, huh? Well, yeah, allegedly.

They didn't, the third alleged Cloverfield movie, they didn't change that release date like three times already, so. I'm more excited about the fourth movie than I am the third. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Well, it's called Overlord. It's World War II, and it's JJ Abrams. I'm definitely watching that.

Saying Hitler was shout out by the Cloverfield alien or what? Yes, there's some sort of alien involvement in the Nazis. Makes sense? Sure, why not? That is all the news. All right, well, I know we got a few to cover here, boys. So you all ready to take the trip? E-ho!

So, Philip, since you just watched Winterbone, why don't you bring us the big the small and the very very weird what are the trailers Phil do you know what the first one is oh man I don't have them pulled up in front of Brian sorry I let you I let you name them and then I go oh yeah winter's bound too huh all right let's go with the I guess we're going to run through these Netflix ones real quick because real quick I was I was starting to get a little bored with Netflix. Yeah.

But there are just dropping a slew of series and movies coming up here. And yeah, we're going to start with the first one, which is a new series called The Rain, starring a lot of people. I can't read these names. Yeah, I think our buddy Lars

from Denmark knows either the showrunner or the head writer here. Yeah. Yeah. We may have interviewed him. I think it said our listener feedback. We'll get to that. Oh, I hope so.

Yeah, it was a quick little teaser. It interests me, though. I'm into these like apocalyptic type, you know, see how people handle things. And, you know. But not a lot to go on, though. It was a quick little minute. Right. So I don't know.

Super quick trailer. Yeah, so I don't know what is that exactly causing the outbreak or there's many people left or what is going on. It looked very zombie movie, but then it was like, but it's not zombies, it's rain. Yeah. So it's interesting looking-ish so far. So we'll see what happens as time goes on. What is this? It's on Netflix.

It's a series? Yes, it is. Okay. and it is no release date. It is due this year, so we'll probably get a full trailer before the series drops. So what did you think about this, Lance? I'm looking forward to it, man. I like anything that's apocalyptic like that, but like you said, it was only one minute,

so it was really more of a teaser. So it's kind of hard to tell, but I don't know, it kind of reminded me a little bit of that CW show. What is it called, the 500 or something like that? Oh, yeah. Because it was a lot of young adults, you know, but I don't know if that's because most of the, you know, older adults died off or if that's just who they're, you know, picking out as their target audience, but...

It's because they walk both ways to the school and the rain, and it killed them. I don't know, man. And then it's, you know, they're trying to stay out of the rain. So I'm sure it's some kind of like, not necessarily nuclear waste, but like probably acid or something that kills people who get out in it. So it can only be interesting. I mean, if it's a series, you know what they say.

Give it an episode or two. And if you don't like it, tap out. And if you like it, keep watching it, you know? Yeah. It's also a Cloverfield movie. Fuck you, Bill. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

Oh, my God. Yeah, like I said, no release day. Gloverfield's the rain. It might be. Hell, they They could very well be. They're stretching it. You never know. JJ might have some secret Netflix deal.

2018 release. Moving on to the next Netflix release, Mute, starring Alexander Scarsguard, Paul Rudd, and Justin Thoreau. It's a great guest. I didn't watch this when you guys talk. I hope Justin Thoreau has a bigger

I hope he has a bigger role than he did in The Last Jedi. Yeah. Oh, definitely. Lovey. Yeah. Go ahead. I like Paul Rudd. I mean, that guy can do no wrong for me. Alexander Scarsguard, I'm not mad at him in this, especially if he's not talking.

Yeah. Which I guess sounds bad, but at first I was like, Alexander Scarsguard and then I'm like Oh he doesn't talk All right I might be able to watch it Yeah I have no clue on what's going on in this trailer Yeah

But it has a good cast and it's directed by Duncan Jones So I like Moon and Yeah Didn't like Warcraft Because of warcraft Yeah Yeah But very bad

But very science fictiony very cool looking. It looks well made, well filmed, so definitely check it out. Yeah. I don't know if I'd have picked Alexander Scarsgaard as the main guy, but maybe he can pull it off. Change your mind. Yeah, I don't know if I've seen him in a lot of movies. I know he was Tarzan. Yeah, he was Tarzan. He was in that...

He was in Pretty Little Eyes or not the Pretty Little Eyes. Big Little Liars. Big Little Lies. Didn't see that one. He's pretty great in that one. That's a good show. Check it out. And obviously he was in

True Blood. Oh, yeah. Okay. I don't know if he's leading action man material. You don't think so? I don't know. Although I probably would have said that

about Keanu Reeves before John Witt came out. Right. ordained to Han before he played Keanu Reeves. Exactly. Okay, mute. Premiering on Netflix February 23rd.

I'm in. Give it a show. All right. One more Netflix release here, and it is The Ritual starring Raftspaul, Robert James Collier,

Sam Thorotin, Asher Ali and directed by David Bruckner. And a lot of our listeners might know David Bruchner. He's done stuff on VHS and the movie Southbound. Oh yeah, sure.

Yeah. The VHS one he did was the siren, the one chick, the demon wing chick. They made a whole movie out of that. Yeah, which was not interesting. Which was shitty from what I hear. I know. The short was so good. Yeah.

This is my favorite one. I'm super stoked about this one. Yeah, it looks like a British version of the Blair Witch Project. Right, but like way back in the day. And I can't remember who somebody had commented a while ago in the Facebook group that we need to review this trail. I think they might have seen the movie. Yeah? Already?

Yeah, I think it might have got like a festival release or something like that. Oh. And they were super hyped on this movie. One of our UK listeners. Yeah. Man, it looks good. This is the one I was stoked about. I saw this and I was like, okay, I definitely am going to watch that.

Yeah, well, we'll get to talk about it next week, February 9th. Cool. On Netflix. I know what my cool movie is going to be. Maybe. Maybe. Or maybe you're not so cool of the week. Turned out that goddamn thing was a Cloverfield movie.

You don't know, Tim, you see it. Oh, my gosh. Cloverfield in the woods Blair Witch style Okay Our next one is Going to be I guess a horror thriller

From Steven Soderberg And this is Unsane Starring Claire Foy Juno Temple and Amy Mullins And this is the one I'm looking forward to the most Yeah Looks super crazy

Like very I feel like this movie's gonna be Very tense the whole time Yes Looks very Looks very It looks very American Horror Story Asylum to me. Yeah, like I'm going to leave the theater feeling exhausted, I feel like, just from being...

Yeah, I'm interested. My wife watched this trailer. She doesn't really go for these type of movies, but it caught her attention, so... Oh, yeah? Yeah. And this is the one that was shot entirely on iPhone, right? Yeah, I believe Stephen Soderberg said that's the future of... filming or directing.

Shooting movies on your phone? On your iPhone, yep. Great. This is what we've come to. It's going to be a lot of directors popping up. Yeah, I know, right? That's what happened with photography, man. Photography was a great art until everybody has a phone in their hand.

They can take pictures. Okay, so you guys know what's next, right? What's next? the horror returns production, man. Oh. Why not? Let's fucking make a movie. Why not?

We'll add in some little CGI and shit. Hell, it can't be worse in the void. All right. Any hot chicks that are listening? We are now taking applications. Oh, wait a minute. This isn't the right time to start saying shit like that, is it? What's going on in Hollywood?

Never mind. We're going to have a casting couch. I said that. It would be super awesome. We could probably cast Dan Don in this movie. That's true. Actually, he'd probably be pretty good. Yeah.

Well, you know, just feeding him some heroin. I think he'll be all right. Hey, whoa. Where did that come from, dude? Allegedly. Whatever. That dude looks like a crackhead. Look at his eyes.

All right. Unsane. Due March 23rd. Yeah. It looks really cool. The next one that looks super strange is Hereditary, starring Tony Collette, Gabriel Byrne, and Alex Wolf, directed by Ari Aster. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm excited about this one, too. Yeah, it's being advertised as this generation's exorcist. Right. It didn't come off as that in the preview. I don't know what it's about It's It was super misleading

I think Now This This It looks It looks super creepy The music Kind of

Kind of gave you That weird Kind of itchy feeling Yeah It was playing My My worry about it Is this is

This is from 824 Studio They did What was it What was that movie You hated Lance With the red with the red door with the red door

and the oh it comes at night yeah I'm okay with that one I think that movie was but you got to agree that movie was really advertised wrong on what it was about yes yeah it really was and I but I mean I think

that there was a good movie there it was just a bad ending yeah that's my only fair for this movie is that it I didn't see nothing that gave me the vibe of this is the next this generation's exorcist. Yeah.

But the fact that they say that makes me excited. I don't know, man. That's pretty strong words. Right. That's what I'm saying. I'm like, well, I at least have to watch it now. Or it's just smart advertising. Yeah.

We shall see June 8th. All right. I'm going to go grab a beer and let you guys talk about Ant Man because I like the first movie, but eh, not that excited. the first thing I thought it was Lance is going to say more superhero shit. I figured. We need a T-shirt that says more super-girl shit. We don't need your shit in here anyway.

Okay. Our last trailer we're going to talk about is Ant Man in the Wasp starring Paul Rudd, Evangeline Lily, Michael Douglas, Michelle Pfeiffer, Walton Goggins, and Judy Greer, which Judy Griers and everything. Right. TV show. I don't know how she has the time. I don't either. Paul Rudd making his second appearance in the trailer park today.

He's going, he's going full trailer park. Yes, he is. I don't know about Lance, but I'm super hyped for this movie. I really like the first one. Me too. I expected to hate it, and I loved it. Yeah. And they're giving Evangeline Lily a costume, a suit in this one. going to actually like do shit. Yeah, I heard that.

So I'm excited about that too. Plus, you know, you're going to add one more, you know, big female superhero. I think that's cool. I think Paul Rudd and anything is awesome, especially the superhero movie. Since I doubted him last time, I got to go full in on this one. I think it's going to be great. And somebody I left off the cast list, Lawrence Fishruns out also in this movie. So it's a great cast.

oh and Michael Douglas he's in it again yeah you know things going on in the media and all yeah essentially it seems like everybody is returning from the first one yeah I'm not mad at it man

I'm I'll be there in the theater I'll buy my tickets in advance yeah because Brian's going to make us watch it anyway hell yeah like it's not going to be amazing all right There hasn't been a Marvel movie yet that I hated. Lance, did you watch the trailer?

I've hated plenty of Marvel movies. No, I didn't watch it. I actually did like the first Ant Man, and I'm a big Paul Red fan, so I'm sure I'll enjoy it. But what are we going to pair this with, dude? Like, they had a 1950s movie called Ants or something, which was like giant nuclear-infused ants that attacked the city. Can we pair it with that? I think we just did. It depends on how big Evangeline Lilly gets in this one.

Right. I have a feeling she's going to be a new popular character. Yeah. You think so? Yeah, she seemed to be kicking a lot of ass in this trailer. It was very wasp-heavy in this trailer. I liked her quite a bit and lost. Yeah, definitely.

I don't think I've seen her in too much since then that I remember her in. She's nice to look at it. Well, and I imagine she... That movie sucked. Which one? Oh, Little Evil. I didn't watch that one. She was still nice to look at it.

It does. Yeah, Ant Man in a while, so I'm hyped for it. July 6th, it's going to be the first Marvel movie after Avengers, so. Cool. I'm there. And that is it. Double Wild trailer edition is over. We made it.

We made it. And now, my favorite part of the show, Philip, listener feedback, baby. Beatrix Harper from a comment on Wishmaster from Instagram, she says, Wishmaster is one of my favorite crowd-pleaser-type movies. Yes, that's what I was trying to tell you guys. Right? I couldn't keep my eyes off Andrew Divoff whenever he was on screen, and the female protagonist was actually surprisingly,

compelling. I'm not mad at that. I think Wishmaster doesn't probably get the love that it should. I think maybe it came out in a little bit of the wrong era. Had it been five, ten years earlier, it would have been on top of the heap. Yep. I thought it was an 80s movie, remember? Until they pulled out the cell phones and talked about email. Yeah. I fucking love this movie. I gave it 8 out of 10, remember? I don't blame you. Yeah, Beatrix does what she's talking about, baby. Let's see. And then on our Facebook page, we're now up to 1,400 members.

We blew away our 2017 goal of 1,000 by the end of the year. And our new goal is to have 2,000 members by the end of 2018. All right. So if you like the podcast and dig the page, please share with everybody you know so we can get that number. The thing is, it's all about you guys. You make it happen. Big shout out to all our members on the Facebook page and on the Horror Returns Facebook group, which gets in a lot of really fun conversations, I got to say. I'm honestly rarely on Facebook, but every time I am, I'm checking out those horror returns group conversations, man.

They're great. We love it. We love it. To quote the movie Freaks, Brian? One of us. One of us. One of us. Oh, when do we get to review that movie?

Oh, that'd be good. I don't know. What's coming out that's similar to it? I got to check the schedule. Yeah, it could be a while, huh? Let's see. Regarding the Purge sequel, Stephen Loblad says, I'm all in, liked all three of the others.

Josh Youngblood says, Purge. That's a binge cast thing. that's how I hear it in my head. Regarding our review for Wish Upon, Patrick Lear says... Oh, wait, there were some more purge feedback, Philip. Did you see it? More purge?

Yeah, fuck. I sent you another email, man. Oh, dude, I'm sorry. Oh, no. I'll find that one in a second. Yeah, we may have to cover more next week then. All right, well, we'll get back to the purge in a second. Let me see if I can find that.

Regarding our review for Wishapon, Patrick Lear says, you guys have to stop letting Lance eat mushrooms for the shows. What fuck is that supposed to mean? It means you loved Wishapon. I did not. Yeah, it was fun. What's wrong with Wishapon? Stephen Loblad says,

another awesome episode, guys, and a big thank you for the birthday shout-out. Much appreciated. Bill Longa says, maybe there's a multiverse where this was a good movie. Oh, come on, Bill. It wasn't that bad, dude. Come on. It wasn't that great either.

I didn't say it was the exorcist. Let's see. We got Darren Wilson. He says, Digging the new episode, fellas. I don't follow Asian cinema as much as I'd like, but I never thought they'd make it to a second Meatball Machine movie

after all these years. Still haven't watched it, but I definitely plan to. That's the one we're talking about last week, the most Japanese preview I've ever seen in my life. And I will have a review of it next show. Have you seen? Not yet.

I'm going to watch it tonight. It is on Amazon Prime. Oh, I'm definitely watching it. Yeah. That's going to somehow revolve in the Super Bowl broadcast tomorrow. Oh, man. Yes. Don Anelli says

Oh yeah When you've seen it You'll know what all the fuss is about I think someone told me it's available To rent on YouTube But I haven't had time to try it If it's a full movie or not But that's what he said

Well now we know it's on Amazon Prime So go check that out Amazon Prime Yeah talk to me later Lance I'll hope you Yeah my daughter has it upstairs So I'll be going upstairs to watch it While they're watching the Super Bowl

over at my other daughter's house. Let's see. Regarding the Robocop sequel, Art Callie just watched Robocop 2 with the kids and they're going to be stoked. Mike Bachelor 2. It says two was great, three, not so much.

Not so much. They got into jump to shark territory. Yeah, they had a robot samurai. Yeah, that'll do it. Lars from Denmark says, I love the original movie, watched it as a kid in the theater, and it blew me away. One of the reasons I got into working with movies. I hope the new movie will rock. And regarding the new Netflix show, The Rain, Lars Christian Detlinson, my good friend, Janet Rick wrote that show.

We have a horror movie club. He's a great guy. Check that out. Yeah, get us an interview, baby. Come on, Lars. Get us an interview, man. God, he's got to know, everybody. I know, right? Hey, quick shout out to Lars from Denmark. He, all kidding aside, he is our main man.

He's our production guy number two. Big time. Regarding the picture released of Jamie Lee Curtis for the new Halloween, Jack Falvey the 4th says, interesting look. Jason Morris says... Terrible look, I think. You didn't like it? 70s kid in seclusion.

Makes sense. Yeah, all right. She just grew her hair out, right? Yeah, to me, she looks like an old lesbian or something. Well, she's always... Sorry, no offense, anybody, but I mean, to me, she just doesn't do it for me anymore. Because that's how Jamie Lee Curtis looks, but she can pull off sexy, I think. Um, regarding the trailer for I Kill Giants, Art from Callie says, uh, if they can pull half of the emotional impact that they had in the comic, this will be a real tearjerker.

I've never seen the comic, but it sounds interesting. It looks like a pretty cool movie. Yep, I guess that's it for listener feedback this week. You didn't find the, uh, the updated email. Oh, not right, not right this second. I didn't. Okay. Well, we got, we got more stuff for, uh, for next week then. Okay. Unless you want to start talking about something else, I'll see if I can find it. No, it's all good, man. We'll just cover, if you did not hear your feedback, anybody that's listening, we got you covered next week.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, all right, I found it. Okay. All right, so purge. All right, now, purge was the last part. Now we're going back in time. Back in time. Melissa Stevens says, I'm here for it. Ryan Stevens says, I enjoy the Purge films. Also an interesting concept.

Josh Youngblood, again, says they're not particularly good movies, but I enjoyed them. My wife and I had our first date to see the first one for that reason alone, so they're special to me. I can understand that. Yeah. And Melissa also said, Lance, if you are out, she is in your spot. Oh, okay. To do the purge stuff? Yeah.

Oh, hell yeah. You're a guest host? Done deal, man. Done deal. The people have spoken, Lance. It's time to purge. Make America straight again, huh? That'll be the next one.

Regarding tales from the Cric Bordello of Blood, Art Callie says, I saw this in the theater when I was a kid. I was probably around 12. This movie hit me at a good. time growing up if you know what I mean. Well, I think we do know what you mean. His pillow was his best friend, huh? And that was weird.

Ryan Stevens, the redhead in that film was smoking hot. Yes, she was. Don Nellie says, I think this is fun. Tons of blood and nudity with a little humor thrown in. I'm fine with it. Be great. And I think that actually does it for now. That may be it, huh?

That may be it. I'm piecing it all together on the fly. All right. That's the end of our feedback. Thanks to everyone who reaches out to us. We love the feedback. As always, you can reach us at our Facebook or Podbean page or Instagram or Twitter or anything that I may have left out. Or you can email us directly at the horror returns at gmail.com.

We love to hear from you. If you ever need to find us, just search the horror returns on any platform and we'll pop up. Like us, subscribe to us, put us on your Facebook thing. We're trying to get the likes. All right. Guys ready for featured attractions? Let's do it. Let's do it.

All right. So we'll start out with 13 Ghost. I guess it's a haunted week this week. So 13 Ghost trivia, Director Steve. Beck, also known for Ghost Ship. Have you guys seen that? No. I did.

I only remember the opening. Opening. With a fucking piano wire, right? Yeah. Cutting everybody in half. It's got Ice Cube, right? Ice Cube. Is that the one that I'm thinking of? No. Okay. All right. Never mind.

Help me out here, Brian. I don't think he was in that one. Ice Cube. He went away. remember him in that. I'm pretty sure he wasn't. My bad. Wrong movie. He might have fit right in. I know Juliana Margulies was in it. I can't think of who else might have been in it.

I just remember... I just remember piano wire in the beginning. Okay. So we got Ghost Ship. I enjoyed it. Love the beginning part. Writers were Neil Marshall, Stevens, and Richard Dovideo. No idea what else they've done. I didn't look it up. It must not have been much.

So in this particular movie, the characters need special glasses to see the ghost. In the original 13 ghosts from 1960, viewers needed special glasses to see the ghost. This is one of the few details from the original that was actually kept.

Another piece of trivia, the effect for the torso was, oh, this is weird, Brian. The original effect for the torso was achieved using a double amputee wearing a special black hood that could be used

to digitally remove his head. That's what you call on all out. No shit. You got to make money. He's got the features for it. This was the first film from a major American studio with three

Arab American leads. Tony Shelhoob great actor Love him F. Murray Abraham Genius Yeah fucking amazing

in a lot of the movies that he's been in and let's not forget Philip our good friend that was so happy to give us a sound bite

at Texas fright mayor Shannon Elizabeth That's okay She can be mean to me if she wants to you should have got that sound bite when she said she doesn't do podcast I know right I should have oh I'm sorry I don't do podcast food for thought food for thought

and before we get into talking about the movie just one final little bit of trivia since you guys well especially Kevin you guys weren't such big fans of the movie we watched last week two members of the makeup team are Greg Nicotero and Robert Kurtzman. Hey, makes sense. Also not for what late 90s masterpiece, Brian? Wishmaster? I'm wishing that you're correct, and you are.

Hey, Greg Nicotero, man, that guy's no joke. Yeah, no shit. Great makeup, great makeup. So, Phillip, what did you think about this one, man? I enjoyed it It was On watching it now I really enjoyed it when I was a kid

Man I remember the first time I watched it And it being Pretty scary You know They've got a great makeup jobs On the ghosts I like the concept

I thought that was really cool On the next watch This time Going back and doing it again it is a little bit cheesy. The storyline is maybe not quite there. But the ghosts are still good. I like the effects.

I like the set. I think that's where this movie shines the most. It's got cool ghosts and a really cool set. And I think a really cool concept to run off of. It's just and really good actors. It was just a little bit cheesy for me. But still fun to watch. nonetheless.

I'm not mad at it. I wish they'd have gone more in-depth into maybe the ghost's backgrounds. Yeah, that would have been really cool. Yeah. But it would have made it longer than it needed to be also. Yeah. Yeah, I liked it too. I probably liked, just like you, I probably liked it more when I was younger.

I thought the whole thing with the glasses and the containment cues was pretty cool. I also love the makeup effects on it I was a little confused with what is her name? I don't do podcast Shannon Elizabeth Was she supposed to be a teenager in this? I don't know I don't think so

Because they did that flashback When she was like wearing a little rag on her head with the little pig tails And she was spinning her brother around Yeah, I was like your mom didn't die that long ago So I was confused of what age she was supposed to be. And they have a nanny.

Yeah. Which is, yeah, which is kind of weird because I was like, maybe she is not the right person for this role. As sexy as she is. And as sexy as hell as it was when her shirt gets ripped open by the jackal.

Oh, I was like, conveniently in the, in the right places. Yeah. But, she can tell me she doesn't do podcasts. Yeah.

and Elizabeth's bad So, yeah, I mean, there was a lot of stuff, like, watching it now, you know, of course, older, I have a lot of questions, like, you know, where do you get a truck full of blood like that to spray everywhere? Yeah.

Okay. And I don't know about you guys, but the one- That might pop up on the tax return. The one chick was super fucking annoying to me. The ghost hunter, or ghost freer or whatever, I don't know.

They didn't even really explain what she actually did. She freed spirits. She got back into the house. She just slipped in. Yeah, slipped into a crack. That was dumb. Don't give too much away yet, guys. Oh, wait, we're not.

This is an old movie. Spoil the fuck out of it. Okay, never mind. Spoiler. Go watch the goddamn movie. Yeah. But, of course, one of the things I always remember from the kid, you know, ghost titties. You got a naked chick ghost walking around.

Yeah. Yeah. And the guy walked by and said, nice tits. Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't wrong. How did you guys feel about Matthew Lillard, in this? He was doing his absolute best shaggy.

And you know, speaking of sound bites, he's going to be at Texas Fright Bear this year. Oh, awesome. Yeah, we got to get him. Oh, I guarantee you we will. If not, we're going to record him saying, fuck you guys, get away. I don't do podcasts. Exactly. That'd be great off track of.

what we're talking about. Did you guys hear some of the cast members from It is going to be there? Yes, absolutely. Yeah, Philip, our pick for a breakout star, Sophia Lylis. Oh, nice. Yeah, she just got it announced to be there. She just got it out. So, yeah, that'll be super cool. Somebody, my wife actually wants

to meet, so it's always good when there's people there that she cares about instead of just people we care about. It kind of helps because we have to drag them with us. Okay, back on track. Yeah, I like the overall story. The only thing now that doesn't really hold up is like the CGI effects were kind of wonky.

And yeah, I don't know. F. Murray Abraham was okay in it. Tony Shaloo was okay in it. Yeah. Shaggy was kind of overacting. I mean, you know. I think that. That's just him, though.

Yeah, it probably is. I'm not mad at him for it. It's not like he was doing any worse than anybody else in the movie. Yeah, he just kind of like, not what I'm thinking about it, he kind of seems like he's the same guy in every movie. Yeah, that's not true, man. That's not true. Well, what movie? No, okay.

So he was shaggy in this movie. But if you had seen him in that TV show The Bridge. Never seen it. Oh, dude, it was amazing, dude. It only made it like two or three seasons, but I was really wishing it would keep going. But he played a reporter that was an alcoholic, and he was very convincing, man.

He was a completely different character, very dark, and very, very, much, much lower tone than what you see him in this and Scooby-Doo and scream and shit like that. So, yeah, I mean, you're right. A lot of the time he's over the top, Like, who, who, he look at me. Good, good, good. Yeah, like he's channeling Jim Carrey.

Yeah, I could see that. But, yeah, in the bridge, he was totally different. He could be a serious actor. I've seen him do it. I think he's a great actor. I actually really enjoy him. I stand corrected then. Well, I don't know.

You're right. A lot of the time he kind of plays this goofy character. But he does. That's when he was big in the 90s. He had this, like, surfer dude thing. going and was totally rocking it. He was good. He was good in that one movie.

I can't wait to meet him, dude. I think he's going to be a really cool guy, man. He was good in, uh, what was it? SLC punks or whatever. And I haven't even seen that. Yeah, he's pretty good in that one. All right. All right.

Check it out. Yeah. So the first time, I'm the, I'm the complete and total opposite to you guys. The first time I watched this movie when it first came out, I was bored out of my mind. I was like, what the fuck is this? I want to go see the old original, you know, black and white 13 ghosts. I don't want to see this bullshit. This is stupid.

What is this? And I guess I wasn't paying attention. Because this time when I watched it, I really enjoyed it. And I really loved, you know what I liked the most was the house. The way did they move into the house. This is very cool. I did think it was kind of silly. I think they could have done it differently.

I was hoping. that instead of this actor F. Murray Abraham being the actual uncle, I was hoping they were going to flip it to where he wasn't really the uncle, but he pretended he was to lure them into the house since the mother was one of the ghosts. But, you know, he kind of gave it away early, you know, when he was actually, you know, doing the video and he said, oh, your great uncle left this, you know? So you kind of knew it was him, but I don't know.

I really enjoyed it. I thought it was a fun movie. My favorite part of the whole thing was the house. I love the way that it was, you have that fucking, all those little trap set up and the walls that move and the unbreakable glass. You know, kind of like a Rube Goldberg machine, you know? Yeah. This would make a great video game. Oh, you know what?

It would make a great video game. But what I was thinking when I was watching this is why didn't they make an entire series of these? I mean, I know they destroyed the house at the end of it, but they could have used this house. They could have kept the house intact and made all kind of movies where people went through this house or something similar.

And I think it would have been a cool ongoing series of movies, but... Yeah, I don't think the studio's in business anymore. Yeah, I know you're right, man. It's the same studio that did Ghost Ship. Speak of the devil. So, it- They should have had ice cube

I didn't have done better Hey, Jason, Blanc could have taken it over, huh? Here you go. Yeah. No, it was a fun movie. I enjoyed it. I thought everybody did a great job acting, and I have no complaints about it.

I just had a really fun time watching it. Nice. Yep. Ready for scores? Yep. Uh, philip. Uh, I'm going to go, I'm going to go seven on this one. Um, I had a pretty, I had a pretty good time.

as slightly hokey as it kind of was it was it was cool to turn your brain off and just and just watch a cool movie because visually I thought it was amazing yes I am also going to give it a seven I liked the look of the ghosts uh like you said Lance the house was pretty cool I think everybody was fine in and including I don't do podcasts uh Shannon Elizabeth was that is that her name I don't know why I can't ever remember her name. She got like...

Shannon Elizabeth. I'll always remember her last name. Shannon. And I still love you, even though you don't do podcast. I wish we had caught that on tape. That could have been one of our sounders. Oh, yeah.

We'd have played that sign about like four times. Excuse me, boys. Thank you, but I don't do podcast. Okay. Bye-bye. It was the face-dish way. Is that what she sounded like? Oh, dude.

You have no fucking idea. No, she would. she was super nice until I asked her for the soundbite and then she made a face like she like stepped on a dog turd oh she said oh you guys aren't i don't do podcast oh fuck you i don't do podcast i need to do some digging something happened on a podcast once upon a time maybe well she's had some drama at some point in her life you know yeah uh land Yeah, speaking of drama, this is the perfect 7-7-7. I also give it a 7.

So we all love this movie. We didn't love it, but we were all like, yes, definitely a good movie to watch, and we have to recommend it, right? Worth a re-watch. I thought it was fun. Absolutely. All right, cool. So we all recommend this highly,

and now we're going to move on to the featured attraction. The brand-new movie this week was Winchester. Uh, the house that ghost built. Which is not a true story. Spoiler. They did not say it like that in the movie. Yeah, they kind of didn't, did they? This is a little confused.

Every time they said that line, I was like, that's not on the poster. Should have been. Anyways. Yeah. Well. All right. The director and writers were Michael and Peter Sparig. The geniuses, also known for predestination, and the most recently watched Jigsaw.

And we all love that, right? Yeah. You guys loved it more than I did. The Winchester Mystery House. Okay, here we get into the true story, Brian. The Winchester Mystery House is an actual mansion that is located in San Jose, California. It is believed to be haunted by the victims of the Wichester. Winchester Rifle.

It is now a tourist attraction. For more on this, go find the After Midnight podcast. They did an entire episode on this. I think it was like the second or third episode of Denny's show. Oh, they talked about it. So you guys want to hear more about it? Go listen to our good friends at the After Midnight podcast. Sold.

World renown, and this is true. World-renowned parapsych... If I can pronounce this. Parapsychologist slash paranormal investigator, Christopher Checon, conducted the only scientific investigation of the reported haunt phenomena of the Winchester Mansion and property in the early 1990s, which was sanctioned by the Winchester property owners. Little, little, little.

Try saying that three times fast. All right, that was a lot of... A lot of titles. Sarah, and the last piece of trivia. Sarah Winchester constantly built and rebuilt the house for 20 years. The Winchester house has windows and doors in the floor, doors that open into walls or nothing, and stairs to nothing or into the ceiling.

Now, Brian, I want you to talk about this movie first, but before we do, have you guys heard of the, uh, in the White City, the book about the guy that built the hotel in Chicago during the World's Fair, that he trapped all the people in. They kind of loosely based the American Horror Story Hotel on it. I've heard of a little bit about it because of the show, but no, I haven't heard of the book. Yeah, apparently it was the same thing, man. It was like a hotel that people would check into, and he purposely built like stairs

that would go to nowhere. And he would, like, chase people out of their room and fucking cut their throats and stuff when they were trying to get away from him. That's rude. Yeah, yeah, very rude. So, I don't know. It's kind of weird, man.

It's like, why do these people build these houses that have all these fucked up things in them, you know? They don't have a great review on Yelp. I just saw a parallel there. Hey, let's not spoil anything. Brian, this was a... Finally. a horror movie

that's going to be good in 2018, right? It's got Helen Mirren in it. It has to be. Oh, see, I've been thinking, I've seen the movie Thursday, Thursday night, and I'm kind of torn because at times I really like

this movie. Right. But then there was times when I was fucking bored. Like, I was like, let's get with it. And there was some good moments in the movie, but then there was like telegraph jump scares that you knew was coming. And it didn't help.

Again, I have to say this every time I had the worst fucking crowd ever. Oh, no shit. Again, this is probably another, according to my young crowd I was with, the scariest movie that was ever made.

Really? I kind of think of the first 10 minutes and that's it. Because of the jump scares, it's got to be. Yeah. Some of the jump scares actually got. me. Overall, I was super

invested in the story because the whole is it spoiler that we talk about the curse, I guess. Is that spoiling the movie? I guess we'll hold off on it. Obviously, there's ghosts in the house.

The reason why the phenomenon was happening in the house was super interesting to me. I thought Helen Marin, I always enjoy everything I see her in. What was the main actor? What was his name? Jason Clark. Is it Jason Clark?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he was okay in it. What the hell having him? Yeah. But he's a good actor. Yeah. But overall, it just kind of, it felt a little short for me. I think at times they were relying too much on jump scares.

and then in between there was just like nothing nothing happening just talking talking well here's here's the problem all the jump scares were fake jump scares yeah he would turn around and he'd look at he jumped jump out of his skin and it would be the fucking regular butler that he sees every day in the goddamn house and then they're like they show a finger poking through at some point and it's like okay that's a ghost no it was some fucking idiot that lives in the house that was spoken of a fucking figure through the wall. What a dumb movie, man. This movie fucking sucked. I'm sorry, dude. This was horrible, man. There's been nothing that's come out this year that's been worth the fuck,

and this isn't, this didn't change it. There's nothing in this movie that I liked, except the first five minutes. I will say this. The costumes were okay. They kind of looked like they were actually in that period, and I did like the way that they, they did the set design.

It really looked like that time period. Other than that, everything fucking sucked. And let me tell you something. This is a shame, dude, because this is one of the best actresses of our time, you know, Helen Marin. How does you be in a piece of shit like this?

And fucking Jason Clark is horrible. I've never seen him in anything that I've enjoyed his acting. The fucking Planet of the Apes movie that he was in, the second one, he sucks. I've never seen guy act worth of fuck. And he's horrible in this movie.

And you know what? Sarah Snook, she's been really good in some movies. She's been in some really low, low budget horror movies where she's a, she's becoming like a new scream queen or whatever. But in this movie, she was absolutely terrible, dude.

She didn't need to be there at all. You know what? This movie fucking sucks. I hate it. I hate this movie. I fucking hate everything about it. It's a goddamn, it's going to be a,

a bottom five, but maybe it's not going to be a bottom five. I have, Brian, I found a way to see, I found a way to see Day of the Dead bloodline for free. I know we don't talk about that on this, on this podcast, because we pay for everything we watch. But I'm actually not going to pay fucking $699 for iTunes to watch that piece of shit. Yeah, I'm going to be quiet. I'm saying way too much. You're not going to, you're not going to get into. to your review of Winchester?

Oh, you can watch it for free. Don't pay money for it. I think I'm going to know, I know. Until we get into spoilers, because there's some dumb shit in spoilers, too. Philip, what do you think, man? So when we watched the preview for this, I thought Jason Clark and Helen Mirren

in a horror movie. And then the preview kind of just was a little boring. And I was like, oh, I'm worried this isn't going to be good. and when I went to go see it, I kind of didn't even want to go. Oh, no! That's the worst, man. Yeah, because I mean, just the trailer just did not look that interesting. So I got there, I started watching it.

You know, I feel like the first half of the movie was okay to me. I think the first ten minutes of the movie was okay. Yeah, they had some, they had some maybe ten minutes. moments. I thought that the, you know, they were pulling the story along. They had a really cool concept in the whole Winchester House thing and they had like all the right

components to make a really kick-ass movie. And even the ghosts when they popped up for their little jump scares, which were so telegraphed, it was dumb. They still got me a couple of times.

Even though I knew they were coming, a couple times I jumped. But that's the only kind of scare that you got in this movie. The rest of it wasn't scary. If you saw a ghost, it wasn't a jump scare or whatever. It wasn't in a tense or scary moment. I didn't care too much. I think it was because of the character development of the Jason Clark character.

I really didn't care about his character arc. You know what I mean? He was terrible, man. Yeah. Well, I don't think it was him. I think it was just the writing. Like, he started off with such an ass hat. You're probably right. You're probably right.

You know? Like, he probably did the best, the best he could with what he had to work with. Yeah, I was confused on his character. Yeah, because you didn't learn anything important about him until the very end. Of course, right? Yeah, Lodinum's a hell of a drug. Well, you know, like, he started out. Brian.

He started out with all these fucking horrors, right? Yeah, that's what I'm... This isn't spoiler territory, because this is in the first ten minutes of the movie. Yeah. But, like, somebody comes to talk to him at his apartment, and then one hooker comes out, and then he turns around and he kisses another hooker. And then he turns around and a fucking third hooker comes out, and I'm like, this guy's a fucking pimp.

But by the time, you realize what's going on, he... Like, I felt like there was a good movie in here somewhere, and they just didn't take advantage of it. And the second half of the movie, because the first half of the movie, nothing happened. Which I'm okay for a slow burn, you know, if you want to do that. Yeah, like a Thai West movie or something like that, right?

Like I'll compare it to like The Witch. The Witch was a really good slow burn, you know? Mm-hmm. And little things kept happening. Very well done. And it built up, and it was very real. And this one, it was kind of hokey from the gate. go. And then when it did build up and things went crazy, they went like nuts. And it didn't.

It like, it went from, all right, not enough stuff is happening. It's not really tense or scary to, wow, that's a lot of stuff that's happening. And it's not really tense or scary. So I, I don't know. Like it, there was something there, but it definitely fell flat. I was. Yeah, like the really bad seat. Well, I have to wait for spoilers. for that. Yeah, it's not,

it's not gonna end up on my bottom, probably, but it's definitely not in it up in the top. All right, you guys ready for scores? Don't spend money on it.

All right, who's first? I am going to give it a five. That's all I have to say. That's very, very, very nice, man.

Thank you. I'm kidding. I think I'm next. look. Oh, okay, yeah, go ahead. I'm giving it a two. Ouch. It's going to be a,

it's a strong, strong bottom five contender. I gotta go see Day of the Dead bloodlines, guys. Yeah, that was that. Unfortunately, you think you do. Yeah, no,

you fucking cock suckers are making me see it. You mother fuckers. If you ever seen this, if you think this movie is a two? Yeah. Huh? Oh, yeah.

it's way worse than this. This one that has Helen Buren and a budget. Oh, fuck. Guys, this is going to be a rough year. Yeah. It is a little worrisome. I mean, we're in February

now. So, I mean, none of the heavy hitters have come out yet, but this looked like it was supposed to be, and it wasn't. I'm going to give it a, I'm going to give it a five and a half. Because I think the I think the acting was okay.

I just, the story wasn't there. The last half of the movie was just dumb, cheesy. How many did you see Philip? He just got Helen Marin and Jason Clark in it. I mean, they did what they could with what they had. I mean, God damn it, dude. That's like saying, okay, well, you know what? There's a really shitty movie, and the writing is terrible.

But, you know, Tom Cruise is in it. So, you know, you got to give it that Tom Cruise factor. Like the moment. Yeah. Something like that. Yeah. For what it was, I thought it was okay, kind of creepy. I just think that, I mean, if you're going to make it a horror movie, which they did,

they should have planned out more than just jump scares. Because they had the stuff to do that with. All right. Well, so we're going to go into spoiler territory. you boys talk amongst yourselves with the way this movie's got me feeling right now I'm getting another drink I'll be back

Well hey do you want to just pause for a minute I gotta take a potty break Yeah we'll take a pause for the cause But I'm gonna keep it all recording I'm gonna keep the tape rolling This is a motherfucking spoiler alert You've been fucking warned This is a motherfucking spoiler alert

You've been fucking warned This is a motherfucking spoiler alert. You've been fucking warned. Let me talk about one thing that I found fucking really annoying in this movie. The fact, like you brought up, Lance, with the people poking their fingers through, like, doors and stuff. Why was the, why is every time someone has to open a cabinet door or a window or something, they have to shake it? I know they're trying to give us the illusion that it might be a ghost or something, but apparently, all these doors and windows are super

hard to open. I know, right? They're a rickety-ass old out. Everything. We'd shake everything and then poke your hand through. If you've got people there to work on it 24-7, spray some WD-40 on that bitch. Shit, dude, there weren't people working on this house 24-7.

There were people working on this house 258, motherfucker. Yeah, they'd never laugh. All the fucking time, there was fucking people sawing away and fucking hammering away. and just fucking working on the house. What's up with that shit?

Well, she was building the spirits out. So, uh, apparently when she finishes a room, um, to the satisfaction of one of the ghosts, uh, it releases their spirit from this world, which,

and she, so on the final ghost, right, she doesn't allow guns in the house, but she, oh, the 13 ghosts? She, well, no, no, no, we're on the next movie now. I'm sorry. She doesn't allow guns in the house, but she builds a room for this ghost who pops up right when all the really bad stuff is starting to happen.

And she already has said some of them are not so nice spirits. And she builds a room for him full of Winchester rifles. This to me seems like a bad idea. He was probably, as far as ghost effects, I think he was probably the fucking worst looking. Yeah. He was the main one popping up everywhere. And he was a kind of a big old baby ghost.

Like he wasn't even scary. Yeah. I did like the whole fact that you, or at least for me, I didn't know he was a ghost because the way they had him in the earlier parts of the movie where he was just standing there. Because he just thought he was part of a, you know,

one of the people that worked at the house. So I thought that was all right. But the other thing that I, I didn't want to spoil, but we can do now. I like the whole aspect of this family being cursed. Yeah. Because they profited off of what she's like murder and death. And I thought that whole thing was pretty, pretty interesting.

Well, especially since that's what the actual legend is, you know. Yeah. I thought overall, I thought Helen Marin did a pretty good job. Yeah. I didn't. I didn't. Oh, we know. I hate to say it, man.

I love Helen Marin. And she is one of the sexiest women in my life, dude. I love everything she's in. And even when she's older, she's sexy. But in this, she just looked like shit. She looked ragged out, and she looked very old. And you know what? There was no point to it, to be honest with you.

I really don't think that she acted worth of fuck. And I don't, I don't know. know. I don't know why she did this movie. I don't know what. Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, you hit the right on the head, Philip. Why did she lower herself to do this piece of shit movie? You can ask the same question for the fate of the furious.

Why was she in that movie? Well, but don't, no, no, I loved her in that. I love her in that. I think she's taking different projects. I think she was fantastic in that, dude. I enjoyed watching her in that movie. Yes, you're, you're right. She's probably just taking her.

whatever rolls. I don't know why. Maybe she's got a lot of an laudanum addiction all of a sudden or something, but... Like I said, hell of a drug. Hell of a drug to be taken when it says poison on the bottle. I know, right? Literally on the bottle. And after you've

literally seen Ghost and you're like, oh, it's got to be the drugs. It's time to stop doing those drugs. Oh, but when they took it from him, it turned into oh, I'm just going through withdrawals. Yeah. Oh, and then it's just withdrawals. Yeah, I'm like, no, maybe it's ghosts. The biggest cynic I've ever seen, man.

Like, how many, does the ghost have to punch you in the fucking face before you go, oh, holy shit, some bad stuff is happening here? And I did see the one thing coming, the whole, the, what was it, the, what do they call it, the greenhouse or whatever? Oh, yes. The whole fact that he, his wife had one, his wife died and the whole bullet thing. I just kind of put it together before it actually happened. Yeah, that one didn't click for me I kind of half expected him to go like a sixth sense

kind of thing where he was dead the whole time. Oh, oh, Jason? Yeah. I don't know about that. I never got that vibe. I think I would have a lower score if that was the case. Yeah, I was going to say that could have backfired on him. Although, the finale that they had

with like all the ghosts helping him and I, yeah, it was just a. really, it was like Justice League, the bad guy was really shitty. Yeah, the bad guy was really shitty in this one too. Yeah. He was like the least scary

of all the ghosts that we saw. Yeah, I don't know what else to say about this movie. There's a lot to say. I mean, the scene where they were in the room with all the fucking guns that were floating in the air,

that was the shittiest most horrible CGI that I've seen in a long You know what threw it off for me It wasn't the guns It was the glass Oh that's what it was It made it look 90s

Yeah I don't know Maybe we should have took some lot No Maybe this would have been a different movie It could have been an awesome movie That's what it's meant for Okay so the mushrooms

That he took before Whatever the last one Badger just don't wish of my fun. Somebody told me I was thinking mushrooms or whatever. If I'd taken mushrooms before this movie, I would have just been pissed off. Because it would have brought my back.

More than you are now. I know, right? Okay. Rotten tomato score, 9%. Ow. Is that? Wow. Nine?

Yeah, 9%. Ouch. Wow. Well, maybe we gave it too high a score. Mm-hmm. Can we, oh, who are the directors, the Spreig brothers or whatever? Yeah, are they going to be... They did, the movie you guys liked more than I did.

Yeah, are they going to end up... Are they going to end up being our, like, bottom directors? Are they that bad? Brian, will you look them up real quick on IMDB and see what else they've done? Yeah, because, you know, I think I like Jigsaw for the stupid fucking reason everybody else does, but. Yeah, I mean, it was okay, but it was jigsaw. It's not like it was awesome.

This is, this was like, I don't know, for the cast that they had, I thought, what is happening here? Like, why, why, why did this movie even happen? Okay, they did. The only other thing I know that they did was, uh, I've seen is, daybreakers. Okay. With Ethan Hawk, the vampire movie. Yeah. which I kind of like that one.

Yeah. I don't know, dude. This one, this one was just, you know, it had a hell of a cast to be a pretty mediocre movie. Like, it's, it was just, I just got so bored, you know? Like, I'm, I'm not going to remember it by the end of the year. That's the only reason I'm going to end up on a list. I think Lance will. What's that?

I don't know. You'll remember this one. You'll remember this movie by the end of the year. You may just forget about it completely. It's really bad, man. It was disparate. I mean, I really had a horrible experience in the theater on this one. On a lighter note, have you guys ever seen that side-by-side picture of Helen Marin and Jennifer Lawrence?

No. Yeah, Helen Marin's ten times hotter. No, they look. She looked like Jennifer Lawrence when she was younger. Yeah, but she's hotter even. Let me see if I can find it in the Sunday. She's gorgeous, dude. I mean, she was gorgeous two years ago.

and something she was in. But in this one, she just looks like she's finally showing her age, you know? Just my opinion. Well, I mean, she's getting pretty old. Yeah, well, she's no spring chicken, as they say. Yeah, that's definitely true. But, I don't know. The cast was better than the movie was, and I don't know why they did it.

Sounds like we're wrapping up here. Oh, they do kind of look alike. Oh, wow. I just sent it. I think you found it. Yeah, I just looked it up. Damn. It's like a black and white picture of her and like kind of side by side.

And then Marion does some sexy stuff back in the day. Oh, she's hot as hell, dude. Be interesting to see what a J-law looks like when she gets old. I think we're getting a way off topic now. Oh, yeah. We could probably just cut that whole last bit of conversation out of there. Oh, she does look a lot like her. You're right.

I'll still take Helen Merritt over J-law. If they're both young, maybe. But, you know what? Still got my tattoo coming, baby. There you go. My J-law tattoo. Yeah. Can't wait.

All right, you guys ready to wrap it up? I think so. Yeah, I think we're done. On that note. Cue the music. Yeah. Wham, wham, wham. All right, well, we definitely want to thank you guys all for listening to another episode of the Hora Returns.

We would love to hear your feedback and ideas for future shows, as you all know. You can reach us at the Horror Returns at gmail.com. follow us on what, Brian? Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr. Don't worry about Tumblr. Tumblr was stupid. I was like, whoa, we have a tumbler?

Yeah, we do. I don't know how to work it, though. It's stupid. Well, next week, we've got a very special, super weird, super out-of-the-ordinary show, where we kind of hope you guys stick with us and listen to it, because a lot of you probably haven't seen this show, but you need to.

I have a lot of questions come next week. Next week is going to be a super interesting show, and thank God we have our good friend Jack Falvey, that's the fourth who's going to be on the show with us. Brian, what show are we following next week? The Prisoners from 1967? Yeah, 67 and 68. 68. All right.

Yep. Big cult following to this show. So... Good reason. Yep. This is the original show where the main star said, I am not a number.

I am a free man. The prisoner. We're going to do a retrospective the entire series for the 50th anniversary of the show. So, Philip, until the horror returns again, good night

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