The Horror Returns - THR Presents: Stream Fiends - Ep. #24: Ladybugs (1992)

Episode Date: September 14, 2021

This episode Brain and Nez team up with Coach Chester to assist him climb that corporate ladder to success and help him coach the company's all-girls soccer team with the help of his fiancés son in LADYBUGS.   Join the THR Presents: Stream Fiends Facebook Group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/3860579827402429 Follow THR Stream Fiends on IG: @thrstreamfiends   Join The Horror Returns Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1056143707851246 THR Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thehorrorreturns   Join The Action Returns Facebook group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/841619946357776   Follow The Action Returns on IG and Twitter: Instagram: @theactionreturns Twitter: @action_returns    Intro/Outro Music by Mixla Beats Productions https://www.mixlaproduction.com

Give me another one. Kid, you've had enough. You're going to spoil your dinner. Why don't you going home? No, I don't want to go home. Come on. Come on. Give me another one. Kid, the way you're drinking, you must have a girl problem. Yeah. Tell me about it. Maybe I can help. How could you help me? With girls, I've been through it all. I've been stood up, shook up, hung up, screwed up, and tied up.

What's your problem? You'll have a fight? No. No, no. No, we never fight. No, we get along great. We laugh together. We like the same music, the same sports. Huh, we get along just great. Then what's the problem? She don't know I'm a boy. Kid, with this girl, I don't know what you're doing, but you must be doing it wrong.

Finally, back with another episode of THR Presents Stream themes. Yes, we are back. I'm yours, Brian. Back for the second time. You already know who that was. It's my brother Ness. what's up man. Yeah, it's all on me again, everyone.

Just life is kicking me in the ass. But I'm good. No, no, no need to worry or ask. Everything's good. So, but yeah, just new things of life going and just trying to get some adjustment going. And even everyone that every, all of you that do listen to the East Society, I appreciate everyone reaching out to us and wanting to know what. What's up and life.

I mean, that's all I can say. If you guys know me personally, you guys know what's going on. But I'm good, everyone. I mean, everything's fine. Fire update. It's been nice and clear blue skies the last couple days. We did get some rain the other night for like hours and hours. So hopefully that did something to the fires in my area.

I know there's one part going towards more. like northwest of me heading towards Reading, California. It's not near the town, but it's going in that direction. And I think that's the last of it being on fire. There was some other lightups, and I know we got some lightning, but it doesn't look like it started anything. But we should be good. But really quick, I drove through Greenville, California.

That was one of the little towns that got hit, pretty hard. And from when I first heard that the whole town was gone, I drove through there the other night. And I, because I had to, there was a fire and it closed off the highway where I was at. So I had to go like three hours out of my way to get home. And it, and it goes through Greenville. And I was driving through and I was like, oh, man, the school is still here. The main store is still there. But then you go around the corner to the little main street downtown area. And it just dude looked like a bomb hit it and just dusted everything. I was like, oh, man.

And it was sad seeing all that. And it was sad seeing the cars that were still on the street. Like, people just left, excuse me, just left their cars there. Everyone just got out with their lives and everything. So, I mean, I'm glad that they all made it out. But it was sad going through that town just to see the devastation and everything. But from what I understand, everyone is. doing what they can to put that town back together.

That's good. And I always got to give thanks to all the men and women that are out there fighting this fire. I see you guys, you guys and gals, as well as the sheriffs and the police departments that are out there and all the medical staff. I see the EMTs and everybody. I mean, you guys are all doing an amazing job. And I just thank you for all your hard work. And I know with this pandemic going around, I was hearing the firefighters and everything, we're getting sick. But, I mean, it's tough, man.

I mean, they're out there doing that. And then you don't know how it's hitting them. I assume maybe from coming into towns and everything to get supplies and maybe somebody gets it. But I don't know. But they're all still out there doing it. And, I mean, again, I just thank all of you. But with that being said. Where I don't even remember where we're at.

What was the one we did right before this one? I know it was like a couple weeks ago. You got me jogging my memory. It was sidekicks. Oh, okay. Is that kid's name, Jonathan Brandis? Jonathan Brandis and Winnie Cooper and the man, the myth, the legend, Chuck Norris. All right.

Oh, yeah. Well, with that. we're going to stick it with Jonathan, sticking with Jonathan Brandis again, rest in peace. And we're going to do 1992's Rodney Dangerfield classic ladybugs.

To get the girl of his dreams. I need your help. Well, let me think about it, Chester. Matthew will have to dress right. Need out, no ladybug. Bartha. Stay cool. What is this a drag race?

You're my best to say. You must have a girl problem. She don't know I'm a boy. And never flip his wig. You got a girl. act like a lady rodney danger field i'm here to pick up my daughter martha ladybugs getting the car quick these hills of killing rated pg 13 starts friday march 27th that theaters everywhere came out same year as uh sidekicks oh they must be boom boom right after one after another i

don't know which one was first i want to say sidekicks was but yeah uh march 27th 1992, directed by Sidney J. Fury written by Chris Birch. Desperate for success, girls football coach Chester finds a novel way to bolster's failing

team. He includes his own stepson disguised as a girl. Okay. That was Google. Let's see what IMDB has to say for itself. slow internet everyone

all right to climb the corporate ladder to success a guy agrees to coach the company's all-girl soccer team with the help of his secret weapon his fiancé's son I like that one a little bit better but this is starring of course the great and legendary Rodney Dangerfield Jonathan Brandis Jack Kaye

this time she was just Jackay now she's Jack K. Harry. A Ellen Graff. I can't remember. She was on a TV show. I can't remember something on ABC. Tom Parks. Mr. Belvedere. Yes, that was it.

A Jeanette, Aronet. I can't stand. The movie that ruined it, for me, for her, was that movie with Academy Award winner, Hillary Swank. don't cry. She was the mom that was just, that movie makes me mad every time I watch it. I love it. It's an awesome movie, but, um, Vanessa Shaw was, this, this actress is blowing my mind. We, we did that, uh,

we need to do something or whatever that movie is called. Now, I didn't realize she was the, the, the older girl in hocus pocus, but I didn't just realize she's also in ladybugs. and the Hills Have Eyes and all these other fucking movies. I remember her, mainly for this, but I was at WonderCon in San Francisco.

And it was right before The Hills Have Eyes, the remake, Alexander Aja's film. And she was there. Oh, nice. I was like, cool. And then I was sitting there looking at her,

and I was like, where have I seen this girl? The name didn't come out at me. And then I was looking at her. and then someone went, is that that girl from ladybugs? And I went, that's what she's from.

She's a cute little girl here, and she's a beautiful woman now. I think the Hills Have Eyes was the last thing I've seen her in. Listen to the main show and how we feel about the new movie she's in. It's one of those weird,

weird things that happens every now and then where me and the Lance agrees and Philip is on that. other end um not really sure who anyone else on the team is but uh there was some familiar faces in this film uh blake clark as coach bull some of you might remember him as the uh one little cajan coach that you couldn't understand and um with the nipple rings yeah water boy and i think he was the coach and uh grownups as well um Tommy leicota of course but he doesn't pop up into the end.

Coach Canoli and Chuck McCann. He was the bartender in this. If you guys were up in 60s and the 70s, TV and film, he was a lot of that stuff. But the one that always stood out to me was Bula Bulbacher. Nancy Parsons. She was Coach Annie. For those of you, Porky's fans.

And she was also, what's his name, sister in Motel Hell. If you guys have seen that, Ida Smith. She was in that movie. And she was in another movie that I just watched. But I'm going to hold that off because it might be a stream fiend film because they just put them all. They just put them all on HBO Max. And I'm going through all of them, but not in order. I just have been watching my favorite.

Well, I loved all of them. But there was my second. in favor now, the one that I'll mention in a minute. But anyway, Lady Bugs. All right. Did you see this in theater or was this a cable or VHS rental? That time of my life is, it's hard to remember that. I'm getting older.

But I feel like this was, this had to have been cable. And go ahead. I want to say, I can picture myself watching it at the drive-in, but I think it was something. we went to see something else, but this was the second film. I can't remember. I don't think it was like brand new when I saw it. It might have been out for a while, but whatever new comedy movie, they just added this to it. But I remember seeing it like that.

And then once it hit cable, I watched it like all the time. I know I rented it a couple times on the VHS days, but I, I just picked this up recently on Blu-ray, and then I saw that it was on Prime Video. And I was like, oh, man, but it's all right. I love this movie. I don't think they can make this movie today. No way. But it's early 90s.

Back in the day, things were a lot different. And maybe to you, summer, you newer and younger listeners, you probably don't think so. But, I mean, there wasn't a lot of woke people back in those days. There were. There was. There's always been woke people. But Hollywood and TV were just not as woke as they are today. It's the only way I can say it.

But, I mean, there is a lot of iffy things in this movie. but it's still it's still funny are they appropriate no but it's it's still funny I mean I enjoy it

I laugh at it still I do know when the parts are like ooh that that ain't gonna fly now but it is what it is I mean go watch blazing saddles

and there's no way they can remake that movie ever but it is a classic I do love that film But this one, man, it's still hilarious every time I watch it. But now, I mean, I remember when I first saw this. I don't remember going, ah, that's, I don't think they can say that. But watching it now, pushing 50.

And I'm like, ooh, okay. But, yeah, the dressing room scene. Yeah. It's still funny. I just recently watched this again. And that part did make me laugh. But all I can see is like, ah, everyone getting mad about this film. I mean, but the movies that came out back in the day, you can find something out of all of it,

at every single movie, even the ones where you don't think so. I mean, you can go through some kid movies and see how inappropriate they are and the subject matter. I mean, you can go through the old Disney catalog and see the wrong and that stuff. Yeah, even go back to our review. sidekicks we were talking about made there there would probably be people upset about the the representation of Asian characters in that movie especially with uh was his name Joe Piscopo yeah listen to that one if you guys didn't hear that one yet but this movie is still funny I do consider it one of uh Rodney's uh funny ones

you have a favorite Rodney Dangerfield movie uh uh I would say it probably have to be back to school. I think that's that's probably the earliest one that I can remember that I that I watch more than once. I mean, I've seen all his earlier stuff is funny. I love easy money. That's probably my favorite at a Rodney Dangerfield one because it was him teamed up with Joe Pesci and they were just like comedy gold at that time in the 80s. what was the oh yeah back to school awesome early early uh Tony Stark what's his nuts the hell's his name Robert Downey Jr. early him

Keith Gordon as well even the the late and great Sam Kinnison yeah that's a comedian that they wouldn't fly today if he didn't pass away but yeah I just recently watched one of his specials it was funny But I'm like, ooh, now you can't say that anymore. There was another movie. Oh, meet Wally Sparks. That was, I don't know if it was before this one or after that one. And then no way you could make that movie either.

And I just recently watched Natural Born Killers. He was in that. Oh, my God. He's a dirty, sleazy piece of shit now. Oh, man. I was watching something back when that movie came out. And they were like, oh, that's probably how he really is. And I hope not.

But I don't know. I mean, not too many people have come out to, um, to jump on him and bag him after the, he has passed. So I want to just say, yeah, he was inappropriate with a lot of the stuff. But I'm not, I don't think he was as bad as his character and natural born killers. But with this one, it was a, the story is just kind of quick into the point. um Chester Lee Rodney Dangerfield

he's just trying to come up like we all are at our job what kind of business was that was it uh I I don't know

just some random corporation that possibly builds things and for something for some reason has a championship girls soccer team

yeah I mean I know a lot I only know this because my friends dad was in some corporation in San Francisco and they always had their soccer teams or basketball teams and baseball teams that they sponsored but um I assume they were real estate developers I don't know it's pretty well off I mean everybody seems to have corporate cars and all kinds of shit yeah he was rolling around in one I wish I had a corporate car we're same all the

miles on mine but um so yeah, he's just trying to climb that ladder and do what he has to do. And he knows he's got to kiss ass because there's a promotion coming up. And he's been there the longest and he figures that, hey, it's only right that I should get it because I've worked the hardest and I've worked till the longer. But like, I mean, not every company. I mean, but you see the owner and he just seems like an asshole. Mr. Mullen. He's your typical boss.

Especially in these times of just I'm rich and I can't be touched. And he's got the hot wife and everything. He's just and Chester's trying to get his. So he's like he goes in and he's trying to have a meeting basically asking him. And I need this raise and I need this promotion. But his, Mrs. Mullen, she comes in and she starts talking to her husband about the soccer team. So Chester kind of starts looking around and notices the trophies in the glass cases and seeing that there have been championships team, a soccer team, every year. So he kind of just to throw it in there, he kind of mentions it to Mrs. Mullen saying, yeah, I used to play back in the day.

And I like, she goes, oh, yeah, what position? And he went, kicker. And then he goes and throws him. some some other positions that that might not be in soccer. So they basically kind of recruit him to be the coach. And he knows nothing of the game. I mean, I've played it for a couple years and my much, much younger years. But I did dabble in trying to coach.

I just, from my coaching, it was for my son, son's team. Now, they were just little guys. And then at that point, little guys. Has it just out there running around, crashing into each other, kicking the ball? You're a brave man, my friend. I would never coach, especially having to deal with parents. Oh, see, that was a cool thing. When I was asked to coach, I did that soccer and baseball, literally.

I told the coaches were like, because I was always there. I was one of those dads that was always there and wanted to help. I don't know about now. Too old. Man, if my sons want to play Little League or whatever, I'll be on. I'm my sons, my grandsons, but I did that. I guess I could put that on my resume. I did that.

I won't do that again. And all you fathers and mothers and uncles, aunts that do do it, cool. I'll never do it again because, oh, yeah, parents. But when I was asked to do it, I would say, look, I'll help you and I'll be a coach and everything. But I do not want to talk to parents. There's a problem. You're going to have to deal with it. And I don't really remember having any problems with the soccer fan with the soccer moms and dads, but baseball, ooh, I just, I would direct them right to the manager.

Oh, man. You should have been there for the good old Pop Warner football leagues. I've been to some of those games, and there was plenty of fights. Yeah, they make the parents sign waivers. I never signed one. It was like the wife's science papers, just in case I need to get out there and do something. There was none of that back when I was doing, when my friends were out there doing it. It was the Wild West.

Even when we were playing, when we were playing soccer and baseball, I mean, parents were worse. I mean, now different times, everyone, the participation things. I know some of you are like, that's okay, everyone. It's all right, Johnny. it's all right little jenny we'll get them the next time back when we were out there on the field it was like get the fuck out there ah what the fuck are you dude there there was no no kind of uh correctness the parents would scream at us choke coaches would scream at us the rest would cuss every now and then our coach drank and he was basically buttermaker from little or uh bad news bears he

drank in the dugout didn't bother us but i mean that's That was, those were the good old days. Now you can't even drink or smoke a cigarette. Yeah, I have, I have some stories from when myself play football, but that, that's, that's another show. Yeah, we could do a whole show of that. I've seen a lot and I've been, I've been in the dope part. I mean, it's just being a parent going to this thing. Did I ever throw hands with some guys?

I'll just leave it at that. But anyway. So Chester is a coach and his assistant that he works with is Jack Kay. Julie, Julie Benson. Oh, I love Jack Kay since the 227 days. And that's when I fell in love with Regina King. You're listening, you have my heart.

Academy Award winner of Regina King. But anyway, Jack Kay, I always got her later when Sugar, I don't remember her name. When she finally came on the scene, I always got her. and Jack Kay mixed up. But so they're like, well, all right, well, we got to do it. So they give them all the equipment to go. First game. They had like a practice, but when you kind of introduce to everyone.

And then they find out that the Mullen's daughter, Kimberly, Vanessa Shaw, she is one of the players. And they basically give her the Golden Ring. and the in the in the in the truth the princess treatment i love that i wouldn't you oh you're uh no when she showed up late and he goes hey late late and tardiness is uh unacceptable and what's your name and she went Kimberly Kimberly mullin and he realized that was his boss's daughter oh okay hold on like he put the little handkerchief out so she could sit on the grass he made all those girls scoot over and so she could sit down and also we get it's revealed that

I believe there's only one player from the original Lady Bucks team because the original Lady Bucks team were all champions and all these girls like have never played before. This is the new breed. They all just showed up because they were all like,

what positions you guys for the last year? And that's when you find out none of them played but one. I can't remember the name the one little black girl. We'll get to her in a minute because that one scene was all funny between Jack A and

and Rodney which would not fly today so but so they feel like well fuck what are we going to do so they basically break out the how to coach soccer for dummies book or whatever they were reading

I love the montage of this while Jack Kay is reading it you're seeing all the during the first game too I'm like didn't you guys have a a practice at least once? It's like the first time they miss when they showed up for their first game. So they show up. And when she's reading on how to play the game,

you just see this montage of the girls not doing whatever. You got one that's afraid of ball. You got another one that's like the goalie. I think her name was Chi. Carmelita Chu. Yeah. She was looking butterflies. She was looking,

as the balls go flying into the goal and everything. Oh man, it was hilarious, but this is when, plus the bosses there watching them. And this is something, like I said earlier, when back in the day when you could sit there and drink and watch games. No, they're sitting there drinking champagne or something. The mullins, because they got the little champagne glasses out. So they're like, fuck, man, what are we going to do? So they just get smoked. I don't remember the score was, but I'm pretty sure.

the ladybug's at zero. So they're like, damn. So they're still trying to come up with a plan. All right, this is what we got to do. The other side story is Chester is trying to marry the love of his life. The hell is her name? Oh, Bess. And she's got a son named Matthew from the previous marriage.

So he's trying to marry her. But his only way is I got to get that promotion for work so I can have money to get married. but her sister and Chester and Matthew just aren't on the same page Matthews I don't know how long his parents have been divorced but he's just one of those angry kids I had plenty of friends that were like that

after the parents got divorced so that was his role and he's just like because he talked the best like I mean Chester's like I don't know what to do I can't communicate with him she's trying to you guys just need to go out one time and hang out and everything and maybe something you guys can bond over

but he's like eh manchester's got a lot on his plate trying to get married got to deal with trying to get her son to like him and he's got to have a winning team or it kind of seemed like if he didn't wasn't have a winning a winning team that he's gonna get fired so so he's like ah so he's dealing with all that but then he does find out that uh Matthew did play soccer. So he kind of buddies up with him a little bit and tell him, hey, man, can you just, can you help out? Can you come look and just give me some pointers on what we're doing? So Matthew decided, all right, all right, I'll go and check it out.

So he's kind of like sitting off to the side watching all the girls during one of the practices. And he's just rolling his eyes like, man, these guys suck. So, but while he's sitting there, Kimberly Mullen, Vanessa Shaw, the ball kind of flies over towards Matthew and she comes running up and he sees her. And this montage was crazy. It's funny, though. Dream, dream, dream, jean. A little bit of that character from the sidekakes kind of bled over to this movie.

Because his daydreams are vivid. those were a boy daged me when he was dreaming about fighting the bad guys with chuck now listen he grew up i don't know which movie was first but he's dreaming about uh kimberly she's running over in a bathing suit and he's running at her and then they have this big old montage of them going on dates and getting married and and all this and all right boy younger younger listeners there's no way i was thinking about getting married at this time in my when I was a teenager, but man, it's a movie. So he sees her and then he know,

oh, yeah, she's hot and everything. So he agrees to, all right, I'll, I'll teach you some pointers and everything. So when Chester and Matthew are riding home, he starts telling him on what's wrong. Basically, the whole team sucks. So, but he's like, man, he goes, I don't know what you want me to do,

but then Chester realizes his wheels are spinning that. Get them crazy eyes. Yeah. Those natural born killer eyes when he's looking over at him while Matthew's talking. So he's like, he's getting that idea. And then Matthew looks at it like, what? What? No, no, I won't do it.

No. And then the next thing you see, you see Matthew standing there in a ladies bug. soccer uniform with a wig on. And it's not even that much longer than his real hair. The thing that was funny, I mean, it's still funny, and I laugh at it, but when he was Martha instead of Matthew, when he puts the wig on, he's Martha. When he's like just kind of talking one-on-one with the girls, his voices like this,

and all that. But when he's out on the field, he just sounds like Matthew. He's just not even trying to. to make his voice high. So yeah, I think immediately like when they do the, the coin flip and he's calling it. He's just like,

called a kickoff sweetheart. You know, it's just like deep voice. So I'm like, what's going on here? And quick question, is he, is he helping out to get close to the girl?

Yeah, that's the only way. I mean, so does he just not have a game? I mean, earlier in the movie, they say he's, a good, he was a good student before he started fucking off, but he was a

JV football, varsity soccer. I mean, I don't know. Is he a game that week that you got to dress like a girl to get close to another girl? I don't know. Going back really quick, earlier in the film, he goes to school with Kimberly. They go to the same high school, junior high, whatever school. And he sees her. So he knows who she is. But she, obviously doesn't know who he is. So because he kind of,

one of his buddies were like, yeah, yeah, man, there she is. Go out long and I'll throw you this pass. And I've never done this, but I had a friend that did do it, which I just thought it was stupid. And it got nowhere with him and wherever that girl's name was. But he goes and he runs deep, throws a ball, catches it, falls on the ground. She just looks at him. She's walking by smile.

Nice catch and kind of got her attention there. But I mean, there was a lot. This is just me thinking. There was a lot of girls that I went to school with that I didn't know and they didn't know me. But if I happened to see them somewhere, I would at least get a smile or a wave because I know we went to school together. And I don't know how big their school was, but I was thinking, how did she not know who he was? Maybe she just didn't care. But I don't know.

See, that's why I'm trying to figure out his character. Was he like a kind of nobody loner? But at the same time, like, you're fucking awesome at sports. And I don't know. I guess. I have no idea. But, um, but yeah, he joined the team just because she was on the team. And, uh, I don't know.

It's, it's funny. Because we, the audience knows that he's just trying to get close to her because he wants to get with her. Then I'm thinking, well, you're, she knows you as a girl. And are you just going to, I don't know. Yeah. Well, what's your end game? Yeah. I mean, were you trying to make her just like girls or what?

I don't know. I mean, this is, yeah, now that you just said that this planet could have just completely back. fire. You could have revealed yourself as a boy. And then she was like, well, I just kind of found out I like girls. So this is not going to work. There was another movie. I cannot remember the name of it. I want to say something special, but I think that's not it. But there is an actress. Her name is Pamela something. She's on one of those new one of these new shows. I can't remember. She's been in the game a long, long time. But she made a wish to be a a boy. Her name was Millie, but then when she became a boy, like she came, became a boy.

Everything below south of the border was there, because she wished to be a boy. But her friend knew that she was, Willie was Millie. And, but then her friend

realized that, okay, she's a boy now. And her friend started to like her. But Millie, aka Willie, didn't like her because she knew she was a girl because her friend was like, does it work? And he was like, yeah? She was starting.

You're asking too many questions there. She was talking. I only seen that movie once. I remember it was in. I just don't remember why she wished to be a boy. But anyway, back to, I don't have to find that one now. Back to the ladybug. So Matthew's game was all right.

I'm going to join this team to get closer this girl, even though she thinks I'm a girl. And yeah, play. So, Matthew is good, but he basically takes over the whole team. But he's out there cussing

and yelling at his other team. Oh, you guys suck. Wake up. What are you guys doing? Just being that ball hog. And if you guys have been on teams, there is a ball hog. We had plenty of them on the team I was on. I don't think they'll listen to the show. But if you guys are,

you were bogs you guys know who you were anyway so um chester's like when the game's over he kind of lights into him like what are you doing he goes this is supposed to be a team win and he goes it's just you and he goes what are you doing out there and he's like well you wanted to win didn't you and he goes yeah but not like this so chester's starting to rethink what he had done but by then every all the girls were like yeah man this is it we we got a winning team now because we got Martha. She's kicking ass. The other thing that was funny about this movie

is obviously it is Matthew or Jonathan Brandis at times but there's times when the soccer the moves are a little too good and you can clearly see whoever did the editing on this one. You can clearly see it wasn't him. And even some of the other thing that was funny about this. I mean, I grew up

with a lot of good female soccer players be it just the regular city leagues and our team at school and I'm like they just didn't even tried to find any good

female soccer players they just threw wigs on dudes and put them out there and had them pretend they were girls to look good I was even back when I saw this back then I was like really but

I don't know I mean I didn't make the movie I mean if I did I would have went and found good uh female soccer players not just got the guy next door here put this wig on and do that

pay lay kick into the goal but uh they made this movie I did so while all the girl I mean all the girls love Martha because in the game's over they went ah they're all hooting and hollering there's a big old

victory party at the Mullins. Matthew ends up going, but then he ends up calling Chester. Well, we completely jumped the mall scene. We got to talk about the malls. All right. After, I think this would be before the main game, before the first game. No, I think it was

after. Yeah, it's after where he's, basically his conduct on the field is not ladylike, so he's taking him to the mall, talking to him about how he needs to be more like a lady. Yeah, that scene was funny because he's like, come on, you can't, ladies can't be slapping girls on the ass and saying, go get them or your hot stuff. And little ladies don't give the coaches the finger and tell them up theirs.

And they certainly don't tell someone else, I got to piss so bad I can taste it. And he goes, you got to be nice. You got to take it, take it easy. and this and that and Jack A. Jumps and what are you talking about? You can't, you don't listen to him. He goes, you can be a nice woman too, but you

never know. Sometimes it might be the right guy and the music is right. He takes you out of a date. You're feeling it and I'm feeling it. And then things happen. And then Chess is like, hey, shut up. Go take him that shit. So they go to a

a girl's department in the store. and just trying to find a dress for her to wear. And because right now she just walks in with like jeans and a shirt or whatever. But still has that wig on. No, no, he didn't. He didn't have the wig on yet.

So they go in there and they find a dress. First, they go into this one, the girls department. And he goes, I'm looking for a dress for my daughter. And the lady's like, well, what size? and looks over Matthew, what size are you? And he goes, oh, it's for his twin sister. And she's like, oh, okay, well, you're a size, whatever, whatever. So they get a dress.

He goes, here, go try this on. So he goes in, Matthew goes in with it and puts it on, but he can't. He doesn't know how to do it. I guess he can't zip up the back. So he tells Chester to come in and help him. So these are those dresser rooms where it's just a curtain, but you could see the feet. Matthews, within some kind of girl. flat shoes and there's a, I don't know if that was a mom or a grandma or whatever, sitting

out waiting to get into the dressing room. For some reason at this little department store, there's only one dressing room. But anyway, so they're sitting right there waiting for them. And you hear Chester and Matthew talking back and forth. It's like, come on, man, take it easy. And he goes, it's too tight. And then he goes, ah, man, he goes, he goes, just work with it. You'll just be patient.

You'll get used to it. He goes, take it easy. Stop. That hurts. And then he goes, all right. So he comes out and he's got the wig on and everything. But when Matthew sees that lady standing there, he kind of gets all like embarrassed and runs off.

And Chester comes out. And that lady, the lady's sitting there looking at him all shocked. Like, oh, my God. And then he goes there to a little. Oh, and what's your name, little girl? And then that mom or whatever just passes out. So Jack Kay and Chester are like, well, fuck, where'd Matthew go? And they're like, so they're walking out looking for him.

They pass this little sports store. And there's Martha, going to the speed bag with the left and the right. All these dudes standing around watching her. And he runs in. He goes, oh, yeah. Friday night, she's an underdog. Yeah. again, super athletic kid.

I'm like, are you not the popular kid? Are you what? I don't, I don't know. I don't get it. I don't know. I mean, Kimberly seemed like the type of girl, if Matthew was all that in these sports, that she would know him.

I mean, I had somebody. Go ahead. She also came up, she also came across, like if he would have, that thing that day when he did the, the go and catch, that if he would have got up and fucking,

said, hey, what's up? That she would have talked to him. Probably. Like, what the fuck is wrong with you? His game is weak. So he pulled him out of there and then they have their big game and they're on their winning streak. But then they also find out that during the game, the ball goes to Kimberly and she's one of those wild kickers. She can't control it.

She's a good kicker. She's got the distance and everything. But she's basically right in front of the goal, kicks it, and it goes over the goal. And they should have won, but they didn't. So like, and then this is when her dad, he's a fucking asshole, tells coach, Chess, look, man, I don't, I don't think she should play. She can come to the games and all that, but don't put her in. And Chester's like, I mean, he's between a rock and a hard place, man. He wants to do good for his players and let everybody play.

But when your boss is the owner of the whole team, man, you got to do what you want. But Chester was like, all right. See, they were just missing out on an opportunity. That girl got power on her kicks. You just got to tighten it up a little. bit. Yeah, I mean, there was a guy in our team, man, he could kick. Because he, when we used to play kickball at school.

He used to kick that ball hell of far. He just didn't have control. I know his last year playing, he finally got it under control and shit, man. He was kicking goals left and right. So, Matthew's still trying to get close to her. They didn't really focus much on

a lot of the girls on the team. You knew who they were. They had that scene with Penny Pester Yeah They did the The movie trope Of she's not pretty

Until she takes her Glasses and hair down And all of a sudden She's a different person Yeah I mean That was It was a little

Heartwarming scene She was one of those girls I'm not pretty Boys don't want to talk to me Uh This and that Yeah she was a little A chubby girl

But No wrong with that Yeah she had that That mentality That I'm not pretty So, I mean, what he told her was good. Like, oh, man, he goes, you're just as pretty as them. Just let your hair down.

Take your glasses off or whatever. So kind of gave her that little pep talk and gave her a little more kicking her stride. So she went out there to hang out with the boys and everything. But, I mean, it works because soon as she got over to the boys, they were like, hey, what's up? And she just blended right in with the rest of them. So, but. So it was her. And the part that made me laugh was, um, uh, uh,

I can't remember what they said. Someone was the best player they had. And Jack Kay was like, no, he goes, what about the little black girl? She's the best girl. She's the best player on the team. And he goes, what do you mean? And he goes, she started going. She goes, it's only natural.

And he goes, black people, we're the best of everything. We're best of baseball. Best of basketball. We're the best of football. And he goes, every sport, you name it. And then he starts going, what? And he goes, what about? hockey, tennis and badminton and shit like that.

He said like a water polo. He goes, the best at sports. I see, it was really funny. Would a fly today? Probably not. But that was funny. I always loved when those two went off each other in this film. But so anyway, they won the game.

Everyone was going over to the Mullins, A big old giant Manson for a victory party. And this part was, all right, this part was a little weird. They get there, they're having fun. They don't really show much. But Matthew calls Chester. He's driving with Matthew's mom. And he's like, what are you doing?

He goes, oh, it was just one of my team, one of my players. And he was, oh, you, Martha, just have your cake and have fun. And Matthew's like, he goes, they don't want to go ski. skinny dipping. What am I going to do? I'm like, really? See,

I'm coming to pick my fucking kid up, man, because I don't know if that's the thing, but there, obviously this, this big ass mansion, this guy fucking servants walking around. There's like some creepy tennis player

getting up on the mom. There's dudes around. Yeah. And all these little young girls are going skinny different. I was like, no, this is weird. I'm like, the mom is still there, and you guys all want to take your clothes off and jump of the pool?

Yeah, weird times in the 90s, everyone. So Chester, it was funny, though, because when he goes, yeah, they want to go skinny dipping. And he's talking on his car phone. Back in the day, no cell phone. Big giant car phones, cords and all in cars. He goes, slides off the road, turns around and goes back to pick up Matthew. All right, this part, it's funny, but then, it got me thinking.

Doorbell rings. Mrs. Mullen opens the door. Who knows, maybe everyone running around naked. Just trying to go skinny-diffing. Because they were, because when Matthew was on the phone, when he was hiding, he goes, they kind of show the girls, they weren't naked. They all had towels.

Yeah, they were walking around Martha. Like, were they going to force her to get naked and jump in? I don't know. The door opens and the camera This starts off with the feet and then goes up There's a little flats she's wearing Dress and then it's Rodney in a dress It's funny and he's got the

Yeah I'm off his mom I'm here to pick up pick her up And shit like that but then I'm like He just had this women's dress laying around That he can just throw on I'm assuming he went and dropped Bess off and for some reason this is one of her outfits

even though I can't see her ever wearing anything like that? Yeah, I don't know. Or maybe who knows? Maybe you stopped at a store, bought one really quick. So he picks up Matthew and they're walking back to the cars.

Hurry up getting the car, man. These shoes are killing me. So he gets back in the car. We get to a scene where Matthew is at home, just sitting there watching MTV. And someone knocks at the door and it's, it's, uh, Kimberly. All right. I had a question here too.

All right. The only person, well, the only two people that knew Martha was Matthew was Chester and Julie, Jack Kay's character. Kimberly says to him when he, he looks out the window, he sees this Kimberly. And he's like, fuck. So he runs and puts on his little, uh, dress on and throws a wig. Gagon opens the door. She's like, oh, hey, you know, I didn't know where I live. Yeah, I heard you that you lived here.

And I'm like, well, who else knew Matthew was Martha? Her little sneaky ass went through some paperwork that her mom had. That's what happened. Well, I guess she could have because her mom and dad are running the whole team. Yeah, and this just proves the point of she absolutely. has no fucking idea who Matthew is. Yeah. He is so non-existent.

So Matthew's like, oh, fuck. But he's like, yeah, come on in. There's a big old picture of a painting of Matthew on the wall. He kind of like slides in front of it. But he does knock over some of the pictures and everything that are in there. And he's like, yeah, let's just go downstairs and watch TV. So they go downstairs. and they're watching MTV and everything

and then he goes, ah, what a want a Coke or something? Yeah, so he runs upstairs and gets it. But then he sees, here comes Chester and his mom. They come pulling up and he's like, oh, fuck. So he kind of, he's running around, basically running back and forth.

Taking the dress off, taking the wig off, running back and forth, seeing she's okay, Kimberly's okay. Then he runs back upstairs to see his mom. But he does tell Chester, like, hey, man, Kimberly's downstairs. And Chester was like, get her out of here. What are you doing?

He goes, I'm trying to get her out of here, but you guys came home. So he's running back and forth. One of the times he runs back up and he still has the wig on. But then he, Chester pulls it off really quick. And Martha gets dressed up and he goes, hey, well, maybe we should. We're out of soda. So why don't we just walk to the store and get more? So they kind of walk out of the house.

You know, Kimberly was there maybe 20 minutes, if that. Is nobody in the neighborhood going to be like Matthew? What are you wearing? Exactly. So I don't know what that was going on. So they basically don't even leave the lawn. And Martha's like, you know what? Hey, this was fun.

We should go to a movie or something. He goes, yeah, that'd be fun. He was, all right, well, I'll see ya. And she leaves. Matthew runs back inside. Is this when he gets caught? Yeah. It runs directly into, I don't know.

It's almost like he ran in the house and just completely forgot that his mom was home. Yeah, I don't think why he didn't go. Oh, no, they snuck out the top or the front door. Yeah. But it's just his, the way he came into the house is just like, I don't know if he was just thinking about this movie date that technically isn't with him. is with Martha and just completely forgot that his mom was there because it was just kind of like his mind was somewhere else. Yeah.

So I was like, okay. So yeah, he goes in and he gets busted. His mom is like, Matthew, what are you doing? And he's like, um, uh, and then Chester's like, uh, you know how boys are. Girls want to be boys and girls want to be boys and girls want to be. boys and some of them are. Shit like that does not fly today. I mean, what he was saying.

This next line when he goes to the bar. Oh, man. So I think they could have got out of it, but then there wouldn't have been no, no anger between Chester and Bess.

because they know they're busted. Matthew's like, all right, but Beth is like, Matthew, go to your room and you get out of here. I don't want to see you ever again. You're corrupting my son and all that.

So he just was like, ah, fuck. So he ends up leaving. He's going to a bar to air out all his, his problems with the local barkeep. Matthew's down at the, the burger joint,

drown in his sorrows and milkshy. shakes. I love this part because he's sitting there. And the guy behind the counter was like, hey, kid. And he goes, you've had too many. He's like, ah, just give me another one. He goes, no, man, you're going to spoil your dinner. He goes, what you're drinking. He goes, you look like you have girl problems. And he's like, yeah. He just wants you tell me about it. He goes, he goes, I'm not, he goes, I've been there. I've seen it all. He goes, maybe I can help you. He goes, well, what's your problem? He's like, uh, and he goes, do you like her? Do you like her? Yeah. Did she like you?

Yeah, then what's the problem? She doesn't know him a boy. He's like, kid, I don't know what you're doing, but you're doing it all wrong. We go to the bar. Chester's sitting there with, what's his name? I can't remember his name. I don't have it in front of me anymore. Anyway, but he's actors you guys all know in love.

I don't want to go into it. It's a long story. Hey. Come on. Get it off your chest. It'll make you feel better. Remember, there ain't nothing you can tell me that I ain't hurt before. So, come on.

What happened? Well, what happened was I took a son and I dressed him up like a girl, and I talked a bit to play it with me. Hey out, you sicko. We don't want your kind in there. Boy, what a happy hour. So he's sitting there talking out, hey buddy, man what's going on you drink same thing you're drinking like you got women weren't women

probably because yeah he goes I do man you don't know the half of it and his whole sin just let me know what's happening he goes the your girl and it's like yeah and he goes my girl and her son and he goes he's a good kid she's a good mom this and that and then he goes oh what's the problem what'd you do well I dressed her son up as a girl and made her play with me. And then the camera shot goes outside. And he goes, get the hell out of his. He throws chest around.

We don't watch your kind around here. Get lost. He gets up. And he goes, whoa. I guess I beat the check. I just felt like a girl and made her play with me. Oh, yeah, that ain't flying today, but fuck that. It's still funny.

I'm sorry. Oh, man. So, he doesn't know what he's going to do. So next day is game day. He's there, and Jackie, she, or Julie, she finds out, like, well, I think this was the championship game. I mean, they've been kicking ass. Yeah. Yeah, with what is his name?

Blake Clark, Coach Bull. Yeah. And, oh, man, with boys and wigs, man, they really went for it on this one. Yeah, Coach Bull, he's like ex-military and just treats his team like they're all in the military. Like, just giving them. All right. It's funny in the movie, but in reality, I mean, He's got all these obstacle courses on the sidelines for his team to do.

I'm like, who's going to set all this shit up before the game? Hey, one year, my son for football, all his coaches that year were all military. So I ain't going to say it was that to that extent, but I kind of understand this scene. I mean, they had full-on obstacle courses and everything to get ready for this game. They were going to play. We did miss a couple of games on this. But, yeah, since Matthew was kicking ass, they were winning. So they basically won it all the way to the championship.

So they make it. But the first half is just Coach Bulls team. And they're just running over the ladybugs. And they're like, they don't know what to do. Balls are flying past them super fast. And, and just getting outrun and everything and out kicked.

And the girls are like, fuck, man, what are we going to do? Because they all find out that Martha's not going to be there. Because they're all like, they're already induced. And they tell them, he goes, all right, man,

we're going to get out there. We're going to do the best we can. But we've got to do this without Martha. And the whole team's like, what? And they're like, we're going to lose. And the coach is like, no, we can do it. We can do it.

We're a good team now. We can go out there and do it. But everyone is just like, oh, fuck, man. We lost because Martha's not here. So the whole first half, they're just getting killed. I mean, the coach Bull is like so gung-ho. He's got him, all right, aim as they're kicking the ball. Put the ball in the net.

And then that kid does a Pele kick and gets it in. When the ball goes flying by, even the good. the goal is like, shit. So, they're like, God, I mean, then first half is over.

Didn't a fight breakout? Oh, yeah. Them bitches broke my nail. That one, the one little pretty girl, I can't remember her name. Yeah,

all she likes is pizza, good-looking guys, hanging out of the mall, good-looking guys. Oh, man. So they're all sitting there. Matthew shows up. And they're like,

what are you doing? And he goes, I'm here to play. And he goes, you can't, man. He goes, we can't do it. And then he's like,

because Matthew was ready to do it, ready to just put the wig on and get out there. But they're like, no, no, no, man. I mean, we can do this. And then Matthew's kind of like,

all right. So Chester's like, all right. So Matthew got turned into Martha. They go into the, uh, little tan, where they're all having their half time.

He has to go get Kimberly first. Oh, did he? Yeah, I think he went because he asked for his Kimberly. Yeah, because this scene was kind of, I mean, I guess she, he reveals that he's Martha and she's just like, oh, my God, but got over it hella quick. Yeah. So I'm like, all right, okay. But I don't, yeah, it moves the story along. and everything between them too,

but it's like she doesn't know Matthew. She knows Martha, but I don't know. Kids in the 90s. So she, yeah, Kimberly and Martha show up. Kimberly's sitting down there.

Because her dad basically told Coach, look, I don't want her playing anymore. Her dad told her too, you're not playing today, just stay at home. But that's what Matthew found. I was like,

man, fuck that. So he went to Kimberly, got her and then revealed himself to, he was Martha, and they go back to the game. Oh, my God. I was like, uh,

anyway, so they go to there, Chester's like, all right, hey, and they're like, ah, they're all psyched.

Martha's here. And he goes, all right, everyone, just want you to know, we're going to go out there and win, and we're going to do it without Martha.

And they're like, oh, what? And he goes, well, first of all, uh, Martha isn't Martha.

She's Matthew. And then he, Martha takes the wig off and all the girls are shocked like oh my god what and that one little girl that likes boys and all that she immediately starts to fix her hair and everything i was like oh come on really i mean she did that girl's in character the whole movie though yeah good good for you a little girl so they um they're like oh fuck so the girls already know that there's not mar there's no martha but he's telling the coach is telling look man you guys are a good team you can you can you can

go out there and beat these girls. We've got to get in their heads and everything. Let's go out there and do it. So they're like, yeah, get some more juiced up and they go out there. They're all motivated. Chew wants to go back in at goalie. What's the little black girl's name?

Latimore, Laramore or whatever. She's all hyped up. She's out there talking shit. So, but yeah, they basically go in there and just start kicking ass. And then I think it comes to Oh, Kimberly goes back out there. And then Mr. Mullen runs out.

What the fuck you know? He doesn't say fuck, but he's like, what are you doing? What is she doing out there? Get her out of the game. And coaches like, Chester's like, no, man, I want her in. She can play. And then he's like, you must not like your job or anything, basically giving him that scare. And the coach is like, come on.

He goes, man, you got to do it. She's your daughter. She can do good. She can, he gave him this big pep talk. He's like, and he goes, what good of you? you as a father, or what good of you as, I think it was like a father or a boss or whatever. And he goes, when stuff like this just brings the worst out of you. And then he's kind of like, because he basically told him, look, man, you're going to fire me, go for it.

But I'm going to go out there and coach these girls like I have been doing. So Mullins kind of like, oh, all right. So he goes back over to his little champagne and his wife. And then they go out there and they start kicking ass. Kimberly, she's coming down to the last few seconds of the game. She gets a penalty, so she has to do the penalty kick. And before, I mean, Matthew's been helping her with her kicks and everything. So it's all silent.

It's all in slow motion and everything. She runs to kick the ball and goes right into the goal. And that was the winning point. And everybody, everybody wins. So it was cool. I'm glad that it ended like that to come up to her because she was sucking in the beginning. Well, they pretty much all were except with a little black girl. She was only one that was good.

But it was funny, though. And it was good that what I liked about it is that, yeah, Martha was the motivation for all of them to get, bring them up in better spirit so they could win. And they proved that they, they can do it. Because even Chester said, he goes, you don't need some man or some boy to help you guys be winners. He goes, you're women. You guys can go out there and do it. So that's what got everyone juiced up and they went out there and they did it. But I'm still confused on the Kimberly and the Matthew thing.

He gets the girl out of lying and being deceitful. I guess. she liked Martha, not in that way, but she liked Martha, but then, I don't know, the movie. Because she just found out he was Matthew, like maybe an hour. Well, maybe she does, I mean, maybe she does like Martha in that way. I mean, she's a popular, pretty girl, has no boyfriend. Maybe she's not into dudes. I don't know.

I mean, she went all out her way to, to. to locate Martha. Well, I don't know. Well, I think it was more of the When they were talking, he was like, because when her dad shoot her out, he, Martha did run up and go, Hey, hey, it's all right. I mean, he was, Martha was there for her.

So I think, you know what? She's a good gal. Let's be homies. But I still don't understand how she found out where she lived. Even if she did rummage through all the paperwork and found out. but it was uh it was jack hey yeah um yeah they they they they won they're the championships uh they're the champs uh for mullen's team uh chester gets that promotion and uh i don't know if he was a partner of this this whole corporation or whatever but everyone's happy

Matthew gets the girl Mullen and Chester are on the bus and a bus with a bunch of these boys everyone's hooting and hollering like yeah Chester you're awesome man you did it before you could do it again you got nothing but winners here

and you're what we need and for the company and just yeah you're badass oh Chester didn't end up marrying Bess so they get to where they're supposed to play. They all get off the... Chester gets off the bus with Mullen,

and this is when Tommy the sort of shows up, Coach Connolly. Hey, man, he goes, are you Chester? You coach Chester? He was like, yeah, I don't want to ask you something. And he goes, word on the street is that you had a boy dress up as a girl to win the soccer championship. And then Mullen steps, you go,

the most whatever deceitful thing I've ever heard of get out of here and then Canoli walks off and they're like all right man he goes cool thanks all right everyone let's get out there and let's win this game and then all the players start piling off the bus and their boys with wigs on

okay they're not the greatest wigs either no I mean even when they when they're doing I know they weren't supposed to be girls or they weren't supposed to be boys with wigs on but I'm like out of everyone in America you couldn't find five six good girl players to film these scenes but all right I didn't like the movie early 90s because even when um when Matthew aka Martha was out there doing it I mean you could clearly see it wasn't

Jonathan Brandis there was some other kid with a wig on I was like damn but so yeah so all the girls of all the boys go piling out with wigs on and they're the baseball

team and camera zooms on over to coach Chester and he does his you guys know Rodney he's oh man I finally get some respect and then the moves on

you guys all know that Rodney's his little one liner was ah nobody I get no respect at all and all that. I mean, I love when they did that during all's comedy routines, but this movie,

it's, it's of its time, early 90s. Again, a lot of this stuff wouldn't fly today. I find some enjoyment in this film. I love it. I mean,

I love Rodney Dangerfield. Jonathan Brandis, a few things that I've seen him in. It was tragic on what happened to him, but I'm glad that he did these films. and people do know him. Shout out to my girl, Sarah. She really loved him

during all these times, because this was all the stuff that she grew up with. Nice. And I'm like, here I am, old man. Anyway, but I love this movie. Like I said earlier,

I have it on Blu-ray, and I just, I think it's funny. I mean, I love it. I did watch it on that, as well as on Prime, just to refresh myself. But I like this movie.

I think it's funny, and I'm not sure if anyone else talks about it, but we brought it to you guys. If you guys have seen it, you know what it is, and if you haven't seen it, it is streaming on Amazon Prime if you have that. And check out LadyBugs.

Anything else? Nope. I guess it's my pick for episode 25. We're already at episode 25. And I think this is on stars. It's neither on stars or Amazon Prime. I was kind of flipping through, and I've seen it,

and I was like, ain't seen this in a while and that's 1989 to see no evil hear no evil Richard prior and uh Gene Wilder

Gene Wilder yeah there's some inappropriate things going on in this movie too so 89 I have not seen this in 89 I was probably the last time

I want to see this they have left us with a few good comedy classics if you guys remember but we'll get into those when we get to it but yes you know even here no i have not seen this in forever so it'll be like a first time watch for us everyone got coming uh we put out a regular episode a few days ago. Episode 2.33, I think. Yeah, 233. And the thing we put out before was our second pod for Marvel Studios,

What If, when we covered episodes 4 and 5. We do have another one where we're going to be covering episode 6 of What If, so get ready for that. And another regular episode for E Society's. coming hopefully soon and that's about all we got planned right now um yeah that's it i mean just go back and find everything i always post everything on the horror returns pages so definitely check out there's or check or look up east society uh and instagram twitter facebook and uh always put links to all the shows that we put out over there we got to get and do

some more anchor. We haven't done any anchors in a while, so we've got to get back on those. But, yeah, that's about it. So definitely check all those out when you get a chance. And everyone, thank you so much for listening to

everything we do. And we'll see you guys next time. Until then, party on. And as you heard, we got our current episode of the horror returns. We need to do something paired along with Green Room. I don't know if it was a full moon or something,

but me and Lance had the closely same scores and thoughts on the movie. Action Returns. We still got a suicide squad coming out. That's the Suicide Squad, not Suicides out. And what is the next episode we're doing for the horror returns? Oh, James Wan's Malignant, which I'm going to have a lot to say about that movie. and pairing that up with Dario Argento's Tenebrae.

So until next time, everybody. Stay safe.